FLYING BLIND After thirty minutes, the passengers were getting

3
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FLYING BLIND
After thirty minutes, the passengers were getting
restless as the plane sat on the tarmac. Then the
stewardess announced over the intercom that departure is delayed because they were waiting for
the pilots. The passengers look out the window
and see two men, dressed as pilots, walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind.
Some of the passengers are alarmed, but most believe it is
just a joke. The men board the plane and go
into the cockpit. More concerned
murmurs and uneasy chuckles
from the passengers. The plane
taxis normally to the runway and
begins it's takeoff.
As passengers look out the window
they realize they are nearing the end of
the runway. The entire passenger cabin begins screaming
but the plane lifts off just before the end of the runway.
The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves, at
this point believing that they fell for
a joke.
In the cockpit, the pilot turns to
his copilot and says "you know,
one day those people are gonna scream
too late and we're all gonna die!"
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SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
DON’T FALL IN THE PIT YOU DUG YOURSELF
Kathleen was lying on her bed when I first met her. With
whispers she asked for help. She had been diagnosed with
Amyothrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) commonly called “Lou
Gerhig’s Disease,” a neurodegenerative disease that affects
the nerve cells of the brain and spinal cord. As the neurons die
off, the brain commands to the muscles is lost. Kathleen’s
body had been robbed by this disease over the years and now
was limited to blinking, whispering and kind of smiling. Total
care from her husband was completely necessary during the
past 5 years. “Scratch my nose, move my hand,” are common
commands for her daily vegetative state. Yet she smiled and
had a sense of humor.
I learned that Kathleen’s mother was also terminally ill and
the joke was “who ever goes first comes to get the other one.”
A few weeks after meeting Kathleen I received a phone call
from Keith, He reported to me that Kathleen had passed away
during the night. As I started expressing condolences he
stopped me and said “Terry, you need to hear this. You know
that Kathleen and her mother had a pact, if you will that whoever goes first comes to get the other one.” Yes, Keith I recall
that.
“Well just before she passed she asked for me to turn her
head. As I turned it towards the wall Kathleen started to
laugh. I asked “what you are laughing about.” She replied
“mom’s here!” She laughed a few more times and then
stopped breathing.” I attempted to express my tingling emotion to Keith when he again interrupted me and said “Terry,
Kathleen’s mother passed away just a few hours ago, I just
found out.” The chills ran up and down my back as the hair
lifted on my neck and confirmed to me that the other side is
on occasion able to assist those of us still on this side.
If we can be of assistance to someone you know
please contact Terry at Homestead Hospice 480-5843734 for a free no obligation evaluation.
I WAS PLANNING TO WAKE UP EARLY AND GO JOGGING, BUT MY TOES VOTED AGAINST ME 10 TO 1
NATURE... CHEAPER THAN THERAPY
Worship 9:30am
Children’s church: 10:20
Fellowship: 11am
Women’s Outreach Thurs: 9am
520.723.5141
GOD ENTERS BY A PRIVATE DOOR INTO EVERY INDIVIDUAL
FORGIVENESS IS MAN'S DEEPEST NEED AND HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT
Q: I recently purchased a toolbox filled
with vintage tools from the 1920s and earlier. I have identified several, including a
Jack plane by Stanley, a bench level by
Davis & Cook, a bow drill, an early handsaw marked Woodrough & McParlin, and an assortment of
other smaller tools. I understand that tools have become quite
collectible, and I would like to sell the ones I have if the price
is right. -- Bill, Shreveport, La.
A: The tools you listed are, indeed, collectible. One of the
better sources to buy and sell vintage tools is Brown Auction
Services, 27 Fickett Road, Pownal, ME 04069. A good basic
reference is "Antique Trader Tools Price Guide," by Clarence
Blanchard and published by Krause.
Q: I have four older duck decoys that were used on my family
farm in Wisconsin. I assume they are probably from the
1930s, maybe even earlier. Is there a reference book you can
recommend about decoys? Although I have no plans to sell, I
would like to find out more about them, especially their collectability. -- Rob, Sioux Falls, S.D.
A: Although there are several excellent references, my personal favorite is "Warman's Duck Decoys: Identification and
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT, SECRETLY ALL NATURE SEEKS GOD AND WORKS TOWARD HIM
THE HEALTHIEST PART OF A DOUGHNUT IS THE HOLE. OF COURSE YOU MUST EAT THROUGH THE DOUGHNUT TO GET AT IT
Price Guide," by Russell E. Lewis.
Q: I found a presidential calendar at a yard sale and wonder if
it is worth any money. If not, I'll save it as a keepsake. I am
enclosing a picture of it. -- Margaret, Somerset, Pa.
A: I have examined the picture you sent and think it is probably a advertising calendar, which was a popular giveaway by
insurance companies throughout the 1970s and '80s. I could
not see much detail, so I am unable to date it.
Q: My mom collected Bing & Grondahl Christmas plates beginning with ones issued during the early 1950s. I have inherited her collection and would now like to dispose of them. -Susan, Rio Rancho, N.M.
A: Collector plates are difficult to sell, especially in our sluggish economy. With that said, I suggest you contact Viking
Import House to see if it is a possible place to market your
plates. Contact is P.O. Box 386, Windsor, NJ 08561;
[email protected]; 800-327-2297.
Write to Larry Cox in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O.
Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to [email protected]. Due to the large volume of mail he receives,
Mr. Cox is unable to personally answer all reader questions. Do not
send any materials requiring return mail. (c) 2013 King Features
I ONLY HAVE A KITCHEN BECAUSE IT CAME WITH THE HOUSE
THE HUNGER FOR LOVE IS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE THAN THE HUNGER FOR BREAD - MOTHER TERESA
LOVE IS BUT THE DISCOVERY OF OURSELVES IN OTHERS
¥ On Oct. 17, 1906, Wilhelm Voigt, a German
shoemaker, impersonates an army officer and
leads an entire squad of soldiers to help him
steal 4,000 marks. Voigt humiliated the German army by exploiting their blind obedience
to authority and getting them to assist in his
audacious robbery.
¥ On Oct. 15, 1917, Mata Hari is executed for espionage by a
French firing squad. Her military trial was riddled with bias
and circumstantial evidence, and it is probable that French
authorities trumped her up as "the greatest woman spy of the
century" as a distraction for the huge
losses the French army was suffering.
¥ On Oct. 14, 1947, U.S. Air Force
Capt. Chuck Yeager becomes the first
person to fly faster than the speed of
sound. Yeager's X-1 rocket plane
was lifted to an altitude of 25,000
feet by a B-29 aircraft and then released
through the bomb bay.
THE BEST WAY TO CHEER YOURSELF UP IS TO TRY TO CHEER SOMEBODY ELSE UP
¥ On Oct. 16, 1958, Chevrolet begins to sell the El Camino, a
combination sedan-pickup truck. In 1964, the company introduced a version built on the brawnier Chevelle platform. Today, the car is a cult classic.
¥ On Oct. 20, 1962, the White House press
corps is told that President John F. Kennedy
has a cold; in reality, he is holding secret
meetings with advisers on the eve of ordering a blockade of Cuba. Kennedy
had seen photographic proof that the
Soviets were building ballistic missile
sites on the island of Cuba.
¥ On Oct. 18, 1974, soul singer Al Green is attacked in his
own bathtub when an ex-girlfriend pours a pot of scalding-hot
grits on his back. Her actions left Green with severe injuries
but also shaken emotionally and spiritually. By 1976, Green
had become an ordained Baptist minister and purchased a
Memphis church, where he still preaches today.
¥ On Oct. 19, 1982, maverick automobile executive John DeLorean is arrested in a Los Angeles
motel with a briefcase containing $24 million
worth of cocaine. According to authorities,
DeLorean was attempting to make a drug
deal in order to rescue his financially ailing
DeLorean Motor Company.
(c) 2013 King Features Synd., Inc.
OFTEN A PERSON’S BIGGEST ENEMY IS THEIR INNER SELF
PATIENCE BEATS POWER NEARLY EVERY TIME
IF I WAS TWO-FACED WOULD I BE WEARING THIS ONE? - A. LINCOLN
AGE CAN BE A BAD TRAVELING COMPANION
1. ADVERTISING: When did the United States ban cigarette
ads on television?
2. GEOGRAPHY: What nation controls the Madeira Islands?
3. THEATER: Who wrote the play "Man and Superman"?
4. MEDICAL: The lack of what vitamin causes beriberi?
5. HISTORY: Who founded the colony of Rhode Island?
6. MUSIC: What kind of musical instrument is a zither?
7. TELEVISION: What is the longest running animated series
on TV in the United States?
8. MOVIES: Who played a bit part in the 2008 movie "The
Incredible Hulk" and also played the Hulk in the earlier TV
series?
9. ROYALS: How long did Lady Jane Grey reign as queen of
England?
10. FAMOUS QUOTATIONS: What famous actor once said,
"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it
doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day"?
Answers
1. 1970
2. Portugal
3. George Bernard Shaw
4. Vitamin B-1
5. Roger Williams
6. Stringed
(c) 2013 King Features Synd., Inc.
7. "The Simpsons"
8. Lou Ferrigno
9. Nine days
10. Mickey Rooney, who was
married eight times
A LIE GETS HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD BEFORE THE TRUTH HAS A CHANCE TO GET ITS PANTS ON
NOT EVERYTHING THAT CAN BE COUNTED COUNTS, AND NOT EVERYTHING THAT COUNTS CAN BE COUNTED
HAPPINESS - THE FULL USE OF YOUR POWERS ALONG LINES OF EXCELLENCE - JFK
THERE ARE THREE DIMENSIONS TO CREDIT CARDS, LENGTH, WIDTH AND DEBT
I'M LIVING SO FAR BEYOND MY INCOME THAT WE MAY ALMOST BE SAID TO BE LIVING APART
EACH PROBLEM THAT I SOLVE BECOMES A RULE WHICH SERVES AFTERWARDS TO SOLVE OTHER PROBLEMS
PROBLEMS WORTHY OF ATTACK PROVE THEIR WORTH BY FIGHTING BACK
BEHIND EVER GREAT FORTUNE THERE IS A CRIME
¥ It was Albert Einstein who made the following sage observation: "There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other
is as though everything is a miracle."
THREE O’CLOCK IS ALWAYS TOO EARLY OR TOO LATE
¥ Many people believe that one should never
remove one's wedding ring. However, one superstition holds that doing so is perfectly acceptable -- as long as the ring is being used to
ward off a witch.
¥ There's nothing surprising about the fact that upon the death
of British novelist, poet and essayist D.H. Lawrence, the author's body was cremated. What is unusual is that, at Lawrence's request, his ashes were mixed into the plaster used to
build the D.H. Lawrence Ranch in Questa, N.M.
I WOULD’VE MADE A GOOD POPE - RICHARD NIXON
¥ As Halloween approaches, if you live in
New Jersey, Pennsylvania or Iowa, you might
want to keep in mind your state's tax policy.
If you're buying a pumpkin to carve into a
jack-o'-lantern, you'll need to pay tax on the
gourd. Pumpkins used for food purposes, however, are subject to no such
tax.
¥ In 2009, a Saudi couple who
had spent their honeymoon in Malaysia encountered difficulty on the return flight home. It
seems that the groom felt the bride was taking
too long in the airport restroom, so he boarded
the flight back to Saudi Arabia before she did.
When he allowed the plane to leave without
her, she insisted on an immediate divorce.
¥ The next time you've enjoyed a happy hour out with friends,
you might want to consider the virtually unknown adjective
"gambrinous," which means "to be content and happy due to a
stomach full of beer."
Thought for the Day: "
My advice to you is to get married. If
you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher."-- Socrates
(c) 2013 King Features Synd., Inc.