Bebo Norman: Deeper Still

4/8/13
Bebo Norman: Deeper Still - Janet Chismar
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Janet Chismar, Senior Editor, News & Culture
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"Today I woke up early, today I woke up sad. It's funny how it hurts me, this love I've never had. But I
can feel You breaking me through this mess. I can feel You through this loneliness..." With
empathic insight into the human soul, Bebo Norman captures both the pain and beauty of
singleness in the hauntingly poignant Break Me Through. And, in many ways, the song reflects the
very depth of Norman's personality: tender, transparent, contemplative and compassionate.
And complex. While singles can find solace in the lyrics of Break Me Through, the song has a
deeper, more universal appeal. Most believers, even those happily wed, are designed with a Godshaped void, an insatiable hunger to connect with the Lord. Norman brilliantly writes: "If I had a
ladder to reach up to the sky, I would climb up there forever, and it would just be You and I." He
describes the song simply ... as a prayer.
Underneath all that "depth" though, resides a man who "tries not to take himself too seriously." He
freely admits struggling with the pressure to "always" be profound and meaningful, and longs
sometimes to just "be."
If you have never been to a concert, nor met him in person, you'd be missing out on another
endearing aspect of his character. The man is plain funny. Sit down at a Bebo Norman show and
soon you'll be rolling. He pokes fun at his "frosted hair" and "acrylic fingernails" and spins long,
humorous tales about any number of matters: his failed kindergarten romance, his "vicarious" dating
experiences, a broken guitar string.
Editors' Picks
Somehow, he manages to make you laugh one minute and weep the next, as he talks about his trip
to visit the child he sponsors in Brazil through Compassion International. The legendary monologues
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reveal other aspects of Norman's multi-faceted nature: a long-standing struggle with doubt and fear,
a deep hunger for God, and a sweet love of family.
In fact, Bebo's kin provide much fodder for songwriting: Home is Where You Are pays tribute to his
mother's quiet devotion to her family; All That I Have Sown portrays the grief his grandfather felt
upon his wife's death - and the joy of discovering her spirit alive in their offspring; The Healing Song
tells of his brother's victory over substance abuse; A Page is Turned celebrates his brother's
wedding.
Matthew Warren's Suicide and
God's Grace
No doubt that Bebo's unique personality bears the Norman family stamp …
starting with that name. Born Stephen Norman on May 29, 1973, "Bebo" is
actually a nickname that might have arisen from his younger sister's attempts
to pronounce "big brother." No one quite remembers. So how on earth did it
stick? "Well, I am from Georgia," he laughs, laying on the Southern charm.
Norman also credits his parents for the compassion so visible in his lyrics and in his conversations
with fans: "I think that, in so many ways, comes from my parents, who always felt absolute
compassion and empathy for people in general, but especially for our family and for their children.
The Danger of Character Studies
"When we did things wrong, or were in trouble growing up, it wasn't an issue of 'You did this wrong,'
- but you could tell it legitimately hurt my parents when those things happened. And I think that's a
picture of how it is with God."
A difficult season for Norman is when he feels numb - when his innate compassion seems to
evaporate. "That is one of my biggest fears, being in that place, because I don't ever want to be that
guy."
The Norman family influence also led to the vulnerability and transparency of Bebo's songwriting:
"My house, growing up, was extremely honest and there was never anything hidden. When we were
mad, we said we were mad. If we were happy, you knew we were happy. My parents encouraged
that, and led by example on that. So there weren't very many secrets.
Facing Up to a Fallen World
"In a way," Norman continues, "I guess that sort of fed over into when I started writing songs. There
was never a filter on what I was feeling when I was writing them, and there was never a filter on
explaining why I wrote them, as I started playing shows for people."
One of the first things about music he fell in love with were songwriters who had an ability to be
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transparent … an ability to say things intellectually profound and emotionally intimate at the same
time. "That's what made me want to start writing songs."
Two Turning Points
Norman started playing guitar and writing songs when he was a junior in high school, which was also
the period when he truly committed his life to Christ. It was earlier, at the age of 8, when Norman first
told his parents he knew what it meant to be a Christian. "So we went and prayed with my pastor and
I got baptized in my church.
"I really think I understood, like a child, what the essentials were at 8. But I went through a crazy time
when I was in high school and was into pretty much everything you could be into.
"So, it basically took me those eight years or so in between to teach me what it meant not to walk
with Christ, so that I knew what it meant to walk with Christ."
As Norman started to dabble in music at 17, he continued to pursue his first career choice -medicine -- and majored in biology in college. The encouragement of friends who recognized his raw
talent led him to perform, and soon after, he began to pray about a life of music vs. medicine.
Norman adds, "At first I wondered if I could combine them in some crazy way."
But shortly after, he felt God releasing him from medicine. He laid it down and hasn't looked back
since. One trace remains though -- his "scientist's mind" has fed one of his biggest struggles: doubt.
"It's not necessarily that I doubt God," he shares, "as much as I am fearful that I don't know what to
expect from Him, and I'm fearful because I don't know what to expect of myself, and I don't know what
to expect out of life. The essence of the doubt for me ends up being fear, I think, more than
anything else."
A Peaceful Place
Yet, lately, Norman has been feeling a new sense of peace and trust in God. "The last year and a
half has been a huge, huge growth period," he says. "It happened really subtly, but looking back, I
realize more and more that I've been in a pretty peaceful place.
"I think I'm coming to grips with the fact that success, however big or small, or however you want to
define it, won't fulfill me. I feel like music has been a great thing and I've been incredibly happy with
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it, but I don't feel like being in front of people and having their approval is something that really
drives me. It's something I definitely enjoy, but it doesn't fulfill me."
Norman says he has pondered what satisfies his soul then, and has found "the only thing that's
really going to fulfill me is trusting that God is in control of things. That's been a huge peaceful
thing."
How is he dealing with success? In the wake of ever-increasing adulation, does he struggle with
humility? Norman laughs. "You know what? I know me. I know me way too well, and I know me on a
daily level. Humbleness isn't a problem when you know yourself."
Norman says he is not confused about who he is, plus, "God has blessed me with friends that make
sure I'm not confused about who I am. I also just see the reality. I see the cycle of sin that I struggle
with, I see it every single day."
Care and Feeding
A hallmark of Norman's concerts actually comes after the last song ends; it is the hour or so he
spends listening to and talking with fans. He considers that his personal ministry and pours himself
into it wholeheartedly. So who pours into him?
Because he is disconnected from a church body at the moment, Norman instead finds a certain level
of fellowship with his audience. "In a large way I am fed by that," Norman explains. "Talking to people
after shows is fellowship for me in that sense, because it bears witness to the fact that there are
other people that are relating and learning and growing in the same way that I might be. Or
struggling and joyful in the same way that I might be."
He does miss the other type of connection that comes from being involved in a church body. "I think
I'm starving for that in a lot of ways," says Norman. "I am realizing that I am hungry for a community
and for a church. I think I found that [in Nashville], now it's just a matter of finding the time to actually
be there and be involved in it.
"As far as feeding myself on a day-to-day basis," he continues, "a lot of that is just reading and
spending time alone. Honestly, foundationally, if I do that, if every morning I just spend an hour
reading and writing, then every single other aspect of my life, whether it is physical, or mental, or
emotional, levels itself out.
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"It's just consistency and discipline and how that works and how God honors that. That's huge for
me," Norman adds.
The Time Factor ... and the Singleness Thing
Merely finding time is a battle though, Norman admits. "There's not a whole lot of it." And that leads
to a certain lack of human connection. "I think everybody would agree that the most intimate things
that happen in our lives happen over a period of time spent with people. Real intimacy happens in
the mundane everyday stuff and I only have tiny moments of that."
His schedule makes it hard for him to let down his guard with new people, "... to go past a certain
point and say, 'I am willing at this point just to be me.'
"It's not that I'm necessarily holding anything back," he adds, "but I just keep things at such a pace
that they don't somehow ever go deep. To really dig in and understand somebody has to be a dayto-day thing. And I don't get that with anybody. So it's almost like all I am left with, as far as real
intimacy is concerned, are the people I've already experienced that with and know."
That's also what makes it hard working on a relationship or trying to build a romantic relationship,
Norman explains. "It's fine to talk to somebody and to feel like you've had a great conversation. But
to go past that requires literally, for me at least, daily time. And I don't know how I'll ever have that."
Back to Break Me Through and also Perhaps She'll Wait from Big Blue Sky. Both songs succinctly
capture the jumble of emotions singleness can produce. Is this insight perhaps a spiritual gift? "I tell
people I don't have any desire to be the 'spokesperson' for singleness," Norman says. "But in a lot
of ways, just writing songs about it and the feedback that I get, it feels that way sometimes ... not
that I'm all encompassing or anything," he smiles.
When he truly grapples with "trying to assess it and figure it out," he realizes his present state of
singleness gives him the chance to "write songs and express things that are moving me or mean
something to me. And they may end up moving other people or meaning something to them. And
singleness ends up being a huge one of those."
Norman hopes that every stage of his life, whatever it is, will garner something that will be worth
relating to people or that people can relate to. "If God uses singleness that way, then that rocks my
world."
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Bebo Norman: Deeper Still - Janet Chismar
Purchase "Big Blue Sky" from CBD
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