Grade 8 Writing

Transcription

Grade 8 Writing

The Pennsylvania System
of School Assessment
2005 – 2006
Writing Item and Scoring Sampler
Grade 8
Pennsylvania Department of Education Bureau of Assessment and Accountability 2005–2006
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction ........................................................................................................ 4
Embedded-Error Passages and General Information ......................................... 5
Sample Passage 1 with Multiple‑Choice Items .................................................. 6
Writing Prompts: General Information .............................................................. 13
Informational Scoring Guideline . ...................................................................... 14
Prompt 1 ............................................................................................................. 15
Prompt 1 Student Responses .............................................................................. 16
Persuasive Scoring Guideline . ........................................................................... 23
Prompt 2 ............................................................................................................. 24
Prompt 2 Student Responses .............................................................................. 25
Conventions Scoring Guideline . ........................................................................ 33
Conventions Student Responses . ...................................................................... 34
Grade 8 Writing Item Sampler 2005–2006
Page Writing Item and Scoring Sampler
General Introduction
The Department of Education provides districts and schools with tools to assist in delivering focused
instructional programs aligned to the state assessment system. These tools include academic standards
documents, specifics of the assessment, and content-based item and scoring samplers. This 2005–2006
Writing Item and Scoring Sampler is a useful tool for Pennsylvania educators in the preparation of local
instructional programs and the statewide PSSA assessments.
What’s Included
This item and scoring sampler contains multiple‑choice items (based on embedded-error passages) and
writing prompts that were used in the February 2005 PSSA Writing Assessment [Field Test]. These items
and prompts are representative of the types of items and prompts that will appear on the operational 2006
PSSA Writing Assessment. Each item has been through a rigorous review process and is aligned to the state
standards.
Purpose and Uses
The items and writing prompts in this sampler may be used as examples for creating assessment items at the
classroom level, and they may also be copied and used as part of a local instructional program.* Classroom
teachers may find it beneficial to have students respond to the prompts in the sampler. Educators can then use
the sampler as a guide to score the responses either independently or together with colleagues within a school
or a district.
Item Format and Scoring Guidelines
Each multiple‑choice item has four answer choices and is connected to an embedded‑error passage. A correct
response to each multiple-choice item is worth one point.
The writing prompts are designed to take about sixty minutes to complete; although during an actual testing
event, students are given additional time as necessary to complete their responses. The writing prompts
are scored with both a 1–4 scale mode-specific scoring guideline and with a 1–4 scale conventions scoring
guideline. The mode‑specific scoring guidelines presented within this sampler were used to score each
respective prompt. Actual (transcribed) student responses are used as samples to represent each score point.
* The permission to copy and/or use these materials does not extend to commercial purposes.
Page EMBEDDED-ERROR MULTIPLE-CHOICE ITEMS:
GENERAL INFORMATION
The purpose of the passages and multiple-choice items is to assess students’ abilities to revise and edit written
text. Each correct response is worth one point.
These multiple-choice items reflect Pennsylvania Academic Standards–Quality of Writing–1.5.8.E and
1.5.8.F.
1.5.8.E
Revise writing after rethinking logic of organization and rechecking central idea, content, paragraph
development, level of detail, style, tone, and word choice.
1.5.8.F
Edit writing using the conventions of language.
•
Spell common, frequently used words correctly.
•
Use capital letters correctly.
•
Punctuate correctly (periods, exclamation points, question marks, commas, quotation marks,
apostrophes, colons, semicolons, parentheses).
•
Use nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, prepositions, and interjections
properly.
•
Use complete sentences (simple, compound, complex, declarative, interrogative, exclamatory,
and imperative).
SAMPLE PASSAGES AND ITEMS
There are three embedded-error passages in this sampler. Each is followed by a set of four multiple‑choice
items. Each item is preceded by a standards notation and followed by an annotation that provides additional
explanation or clarification.
A correct answer is indicated by an asterisk.
Page WRITING
Sample Passage 1
Read the passage below and then answer questions 1–4.
1 In the entire animal world, birds are the only creatures with feathers. 2 They’re warm
blooded, the same as humans. 3 There are about 9,000 different kinds of birds living in all parts
of the world. 4 There are even more types of insects in the world. 5 Most birds are well adapted
for flying and have large, powerful chest muscles to allow them to flap their wings. 6 Their bones
are light, with tiny, honeycombed holes to save weight when they are flying.
7 Lightweight feathers or plumage protects the creature’s body and keeps it warm.
8 Although some birds have brown plumage for camouflage, others have brightly colored
plumage to attract a mate and to keep members of a flock together. 9 It is unnusual that birds do
not have teeth. 10 Most birds, particularly eagles and other birds of prey, have excellent eyesight
and hearing. 11 A _______ sense of smell, however, is often poor.
1.5.8.E
1.
Which sentence should the writer remove from the passage because it is not relevant
to the topic?
A.
B.
C.
D.
sentence 4 *
sentence 6
sentence 8
sentence 10
Option B’s sentence 6 continues the thought that began in sentence 5, adding details about how birds
are equipped to fly, and therefore maintains relevance. Option C (sentence 8) refers to the previous
sentence as well, adding additional details about birds’ plumage. Option D gives a specific example
of birds and their senses, thereby staying on-topic. Option A is the only sentence in the passage that
does not pertain to birds. It may read as an additional detail, but it is irrelevant to the passage’s main
idea and should be eliminated.
1.5.8.F
2.
Which word is spelled incorrectly?
A.
B.
C.
D.
creatures in sentence 1
attract in sentence 8
unnusual in sentence 9 *
particularly in sentence 10
The words chosen as options are grade-appropriate spelling words. Answer Options A, B, and D
show correct spellings of words that are commonly misspelled. The correct answer is Option C.
Page WRITING
1.5.8.F
3.
Choose the correct form of the word to fill in the blank in sentence 11.
A.
B.
C.
D.
A _______ sense of smell, however, is often poor.
bird
birds
birds’
bird’s *
Students must decide whether the missing word is singular or plural and then whether the word
should be in possessive form. The four answer options offer various combinations of these
possibilities. Options A and B are not correct because the word should be in possessive form and
therefore requires an apostrophe. Option C has an apostrophe, but its placement after the s shows
possession in plural form. Option D is the correct answer because the word is singular (clue: the
single article A in the sentence) and it is in possessive form (the sense of smell belongs to a bird; the
bird possesses it).
1.5.8.E
4.
Which of the following would work best as the concluding sentence for this
passage?
A.
B.
C.
D.
Some birds make good pets.
Birds truly stand out in the animal world. *
I once wrote a research paper on birds.
Some people believe birds descended from dinosaurs.
Options A and D could introduce new paragraphs within the passage, but because they are
introducing a new approach to or a new detail about the topic, they would not effectively conclude
this passage. Option C introduces a personal voice that does not belong here as a more formal and
objective voice has been established. Option B refers back to the introductory sentence (“entire
animal world,” “only creatures”) and reinforces the preceding details that demonstrate how unique
birds are.
Page WRITING
Sample Passage 2
1 The first rubber-soled shoes were manufactured in the late 1800s. 2 In 1892 nine small
rubber manufacturing companies consolidated to form the U.S. Rubber Company one of these
companies, the Goodyear Metallic Rubber Shoe Company, licensed a new manufacturing process.
3 This process, patented by Charles Goodyear, used heat to meld rubber to cloth for a sturdy,
permanent bond. 4 In 1913 the company mass-marketed the first sneakers, which were sold under
the brand name Ked. 5 The word “sneaker” was coined because the rubber sole allowed the
walker to walk quietly. 6 This was in contrast to the noise leather-soled shoes made.
7 Bill Bowerman, an Oregon track coach, saw the need, in 1958, for a better running shoe.
8 Together with his friend, Phil Knight, a business major at the University of Oregon, they formed
a company to market a lighter and more comfortable shoe. 9 Knight’s most memorable technical
breakthrough was the optimal traction of the waffle soles he invented by shaping rubber in the
waffle iron in his kitchen. 10 Today, both world-class athletes and casual walkers owe a debt to
these inventors for there vision.
1.5.8.F
5.
Which sentence should be divided into two sentences?
A.
B.
C.
D.
sentence 2 *
sentence 3
sentence 8
sentence 9
The sentences in the answer options are complex and rather lengthy. Students must recognize the
elements of a sentence in order to arrive at the correct answer. Option A is correct because it is
comprised of two complete sentences, the second beginning with a pronoun (one), a common sentence
structure that often signals the beginning of a new idea.
Page WRITING
1.5.8.E
6.
Choose the best placement for the phrase in 1958 in sentence 7.
A. Bill Bowerman, an Oregon track coach in 1958, saw the need for a better running
shoe.
B. Bill Bowerman, in 1958 an Oregon track coach, saw the need for a better running
shoe.
C. In 1958 Bill Bowerman, an Oregon track coach, saw the need for a better running
shoe. *
D. Bill Bowerman, an Oregon track coach, saw in 1958 the need for a better running
shoe.
Students have to decide where the modifier best fits. Option A modifies track coach rather than the
entire sentence; Option B needlessly interrupts the flow of the sentence, and Option D modifies only
the verb saw. Option C is the best answer, not only because this is the most common placement for
modifying dates, but also because the date is modifying the entire sentence (all of this happened in
1958), not any one part of it.
1.5.8.F
7.
Why is the word “sneaker” in quotation marks in sentence 5?
A.
B.
C.
D.
It is a word derived from a foreign language.
It is a new word the writer is defining. *
It is not a real word.
It is spoken dialogue.
All four options offer legitimate uses for quotation marks, so students must display some understanding of these applications to choose Option B as the correct answer. Option B is correct
because sentence 6 does exactly what the option states: it defines a new word.
1.5.8.E
8.
A word in sentence 10 is used incorrectly. Which change should be made?
A.
B.
C.
D.
Change owe to oh.
Change these to this.
Change for to four.
Change there to their. *
Although the word choices for Options A and C sound the same, they differ in meaning. Students must
consider their appropriate use in each sentence; in these two cases, they are used correctly within the
context of the identified sentences. Option B asks students to change the plural these to the singular
this (incorrect because the following noun inventors is plural). Option D is the correct answer
because the sentence uses “there” when context calls for the possessive “their” (the vision belongs to
those inventors).
Page WRITING
Sample Passage 3
1 On
October 30, 1938, director Orson Welles aired an adaptation of the science fiction
novel The War of the Worlds. 2 The novel’s theme and its adaptation is about an alien invasion of
Earth. 3 Welles wanted the radio adaptation to sound like a news program, probably to make the
story more realistic and more dramatic for audiences. 4 The novel was set in Britain, for the radio
version was set in Grover’s Mill, New Jersey. 5 An estimated six million Americans tuned in their
radios that night and heard actors pretending to be news reporters and other officials.
6 There were several times during the broadcast when the audience was informed that the
program was a fictional dramatization. 7 If a listener missed an announcement however there
might not be another one for forty minutes. 8 The actors vividly described the alien invasion
and the Martians, as well as the possible destruction of the United States. 9 Thousands of radio
listeners panicked. 10 Some packed their cars and fled their neighborhoods, while others hid in
their cellars. 11 Police stations were flooded with telephone calls. 12 The day after the radio play,
Orson Welles appeared before reporters and apologized for the hysteria caused by the broadcast.
13 There has never been anything like it.
1.5.8.F
9.
Which is the correct form of the verb in sentence 2?
A.
B.
C.
D.
The novel’s theme and its adaptation have been about an alien invasion of Earth.
The novel’s theme and its adaptation will be about an alien invasion of Earth.
The novel’s theme and its adaptation was about an alien invasion of Earth.
The novel’s theme and its adaptation were about an alien invasion of Earth. *
Students can eliminate Options A and B as correct answers by recognizing the general verb tense of
the entire passage; it is in the simple past tense (made clear by direct reference to a specific date and
recounting a single event from that date). Options C and D ask students to choose between a singular
and a plural verb form. Here they must recognize a compound subject—it is both the theme and the
adaptation being spoken of—therefore, the plural verb were is the correct answer.
1.5.8.E
10. In sentence 4, which word best replaces the underlined word?
A.
B.
C.
D.
so
or
but *
and
Students must first analyze the relationship between the two parts of this sentence. Option A would
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WRITING
be correct if the second part of the sentence came about as a result of the first, Option B would be
correct if the second part of the sentence offered an alternative to the first, and Option D would be
correct if the second half gave additional information to the first. Option C is the correct answer
because the word but demonstrates the proper contrast between the sentence parts: the novel was set
in Britain, but the radio program was set here.
1.5.8.F
11. Which version shows the correct comma placement for sentence 7?
A. If a listener, missed an announcement, however there might not be another one
for forty minutes.
If a listener missed an announcement, however, there might not be another one
for forty minutes. *
B.
C. If a listener missed an announcement however, there might not be, another one
for forty minutes.
D. If a listener missed an announcement however there might not be another one, for
forty minutes.
Incorrect comma placements are offered in Options A, C, and D. Option B is correct because a basic
comma rule states that transitional expressions (in this case, the word however) that interrupt the
flow of a sentence are always set off by commas.
1.5.8.E
12. Which sentence would best fit after sentence 10?
A. One actor in the radio program said that the aliens had wet skin.
B. Orson Welles considered adapting other science fiction novels to the radio.
C. Professors from nearby Princeton University went to Grover’s Mill to investigate
the invasion.
D. Still others wrapped towels around their heads to protect themselves from
poisonous gas. *
While each answer option offers new details about the passage’s main ideas, only Option D flows
specifically from sentence 10. In the passage, sentence 10 mentions both Some and others and gives
examples of things panicked people did; Option D mentions Still others and provides another example
of the extent to which people overreacted to the radio broadcast.
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WRITING
WRITING PROMPTS: GENERAL INFORMATION
The greater part of the writing assessment consists of students’ written responses to writing prompts.
Eighth graders will write to two modes: informational and persuasive.
The writing prompts reflect Pennsylvania Academic Standards–Types of Writing–1.4.8.B and 1.4.8.C.
1.4.8.B
Write multi‑paragraph informational pieces (e.g., letters, descriptions, reports,
instructions, essays, articles, interviews).
1.4.8.C
Write persuasive pieces.
SAMPLE WRITING PROMPTS AND STUDENT RESPONSES
There are two writing prompts (one at each mode) in this sampler. Written responses are scored on a 1‑ to 4‑
point scale, and student samples at each scoring level have been provided. These examples of student writing
have also been annotated.
Each paper is scored twice, once for composition and once for conventions. Mode‑specific scoring guidelines
precede each group of student papers, and the conventions scoring guideline precedes the papers that
exemplify conventions scores.
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PSSA Informational Scoring Guideline
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Sharp, distinct controlling point made about a single topic with evident awareness of task
and audience.
Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding
of the purpose. Thorough elaboration with effectively presented information consistently
supported with well-chosen details.
Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions,
which develop a controlling idea.
Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a
consistent and effective tone.
Clear controlling point made about a single topic with general awareness of task and
audience.
Adequate, specific, and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the
purpose. Sufficient elaboration with clearly presented information supported with wellchosen details.
Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which
develop a controlling idea.
Appropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates
a consistent tone.
Vague evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with an inconsistent
awareness of task and audience.
Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose.
Underdeveloped and/or repetitive elaboration with inconsistently supported information.
May be an extended list.
Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions,
which ineffectively develop a controlling idea.
Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.
Little or no evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with a minimal
awareness of task and audience.
Minimal evidence of content that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the purpose.
Superficial, undeveloped writing with little or no support. May be a bare list.
Little or no evidence of organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and
transitions, which inadequately develop a controlling idea.
Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent tone.
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WRITING
Informational Writing Prompt
You will have up to 60 minutes to plan, write, and proofread your response to this writing
prompt:
Write an essay that explains the qualities a hero should possess.
Write your essay on the next three pages.
Plan
Before you write:




Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked to do.
Consider topic, task, and audience.
Think about what you want to write.
Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or outlining.
Write
As you write:




.
Maintain a clear and consistent
Include specific details; use examples and reasons to support your ideas.
Use a variety of well-constructed, complete sentences.
Use a logical organization with an obvious introduction, body, and conclusion.
Proofread
After you write:
 Did you support your ideas with specific details?
 Do the point of view and tone of the essay remain consistent?
 Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage errors.
Go on to the next page to begin writing your response.
GO ON
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
If you need additional space, please continue on the next page.
GO ON
COPYRIGHT PA DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. DO NOT DUPLICATE.
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED YOUR WORK, CLOSE THIS WRITING
BOOKLET SO YOUR TEACHER WILL KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED.
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WRITING
Composition Score 4
The writer sharply focuses on the qualities that make his/her older brother, Tom, the
personification of a hero [“He is my guardian angel. I look up to him and try to be like
him”].
The first paragraph is an introduction that calls up and rejects common heroes from
mythology and celebrity in favor of someone the writer knows personally—“my
amazing brother Tom.” This theme controls the essay with each succeeding paragraph
describing one of Tom’s qualities and how this quality makes him heroic [“My brother
Tom’s best quality is his ability to listen,” “I look up to my brother because he is the
smartest person I know,” and “Lastly, I find my brother extroardianrily generous”]. Ideas
are presented in a logical order and thoroughly explained and supported with specific
details and examples [“He attends Boston College and is close to the top of his class”].
The writer also unifies the essay by reaffirming each quality at the end of the paragraph
[“That is why I love my brother, because he can listen”]. In the conclusion, the writer
uses the image of a “guardian angel” to express how the brother’s heroic qualities have
affected the writer [“He is everything I want to be”]. Repeating the qualities examined in
the essay, the writer concludes that all of these are necessary “to be considered a hero.”
The writer uses many stylistic techniques to enhance the writing. An allusion to
Hercules, an example of a hero from antiquity, is paired against modern teenage idols,
like Brad Pitt. Vocabulary is rich [“He possesses every golden quality”] and structured
in varied sentences that create fluency [“Listening is really hard, especially when you are
really needed. It is easier to be the one talking”].
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the
informational mode.
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FINAL COPY
GO ON
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WRITING
PROMPT 1—INFORMATIONAL (continued)
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 3
This writer presents an adequate explanation of the romantic hero, a knight in
shining armor riding “a nobel steed.” In the opening paragraph, the writer names
the attributes and accessories this hero needs: strength, armor, a horse, and “a
princess to rescue.” Each succeeding paragraph explains one of these, culminating in
a summary conclusion that restates the theme.
These ideas are supported with explanations [“A hero should be strong so he can
weild his trusty blade and conquer everything in his path”], specific details [“she
will be sitting at the top of the highest tower”], and elaboration [“This horse will
help him narrowly escape when he has no chance at victory”].
The writer uses topic-specific vocabulary to maintain a consistent tone appropriate
to his topic, including “foes,” “nobel steed,” “suit of armor,” “blade,” “mail,” and
“weild.”
This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the informational
mode.
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WRITING
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 2
This writer attempts to explain two qualities of a hero, but his/her brief explanations
only provide a vague response to the task. The writer explains the need for courage
because, lacking it, “he or she might not be able to resive someone.” The other
quality, “fast reacten time,” is necessary because the hero can “react to emergencys
quicker and save more people.” These ideas need to be fully developed and
supported with specific details, facts, and elaborated examples. The writer shows
some organizational skill: a simple beginning and ending and a logical order with
simple transitions [“One qualitie” and “Another qualitie”]. There is insufficient
writing to demonstrate that the writer can maintain control of language skills.
This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the informational
mode.
GO ON
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WRITING
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 1
This essay demonstrates minimal awareness of the task. The beginning is very weak,
stating that the writer will name some examples “that explains the quality of a hero,” but
no examples are given. A few “qualities” of a hero are suggested in such general terms that
the heroic distinction cannot be discerned [“A hero could be Just anybody”; “A hero could
be a person you admire”]. The writer does not explain or develop these ideas. The order is
random and there is no ending. The response is too minimal to demonstrate that the writer
can maintain control of language.
This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the informational mode.
GO ON
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PSSA Persuasive Scoring Guideline
Focus
Sharp, distinct controlling point presented as a position and made convincing
through a clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument with evident awareness of
task and audience.
Content
Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding of the purpose. Thoroughly elaborated argument that includes a clear position
consistently supported with precise and relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive)
strategies are evident.
Development
Organization
Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position supported with a purposeful presentation of content.
Style
Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent and effective tone.
Focus
Clear controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through a
credible and substantiated argument with general awareness of task and audience.
Content
Adequate, specific and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the purpose. Sufficiently elaborated argument that includes a clear position
supported with some relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive) strategies may be
evident.
Development
Organization
Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to
develop a position supported with sufficient presentation of content.
Style
Appropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that
creates a consistent tone.
Focus
Vague evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that may lack a
credible and/or substantiated argument with an inconsistent awareness of task and
audience.
Content
Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose.
Insufficiently elaborated argument that includes an underdeveloped position supported with little evidence.
Development
Organization
Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position with inadequate presentation of content.
Style
Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with
tone.
Focus
Little or no evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that lacks a credible and/or substantiated argument with minimal awareness of task and audience.
Content
Minimal evidence of content that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the purpose. Unelaborated argument that includes an undeveloped position supported with
minimal or no evidence.
Development
Organization
Style
Little or no evidence of organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position with insufficient presentation of content.
Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent
tone.
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WRITING
Persuasive Writing Prompt
You will have up to 60 minutes to plan, write, and proofread your response to this writing
prompt:
What is your favorite class this year? Write a letter to a class of
seventh graders, convincing them that they should take this class
when they are in eighth grade.
Write your essay on the next three pages.
Plan
Before you write:




Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked to do.
Consider topic, task, and audience.
Think about what you want to write.
Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or outlining.
Write
As you write:




Maintain a clear and consistent position or claim.
Include specific details; use examples and reasons to support your ideas.
Use a variety of well-constructed, complete sentences.
Use a logical organization with an obvious introduction, body, and conclusion.
Proofread
After you write:
 Did you support your ideas with specific details?
 Do the point of view and tone of the essay remain consistent?
 Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage errors.
Go on to the next page to begin writing your response.
GO ON
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WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 25
WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
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WRITING
Composition Score 4
The writer presents a sharply defined argument recommending earth science to
“advancing 7th graders” because it has a “hilarious teacher,” “exciting class time,”
and “intense subjects.” These reasons are developed in the succeeding paragraphs
and unified by transitional hooks that lead the reader seamlessly into the next idea
[“If the activities and the teacher isn’t enough for you, just wait until you learn about
Earth Science”]. The recommendation is reaffirmed in each paragraph as well as in the
introduction and conclusion, creating a cohesive essay focused on the central theme.
Each reason is supported with specific details: the teacher “will always try to help you as
best as he can,” students do experiments like “identifying rocks with carbonic acid,” and
in earth science “you get to learn incredible things in meteorology like about tornadoes
and hurricanes.”
The writer pays particularly close attention to his/her audience, identifying with them
[“I know that every student craves adventure and excitement”], answering specific needs
[“For you 7th graders that feel like you will fall behind, have no fear”] and anticipating
reactions [“you may think how do I protect myself?”].
The tone is consistently personable, and the vocabulary is dynamic, raising vivid images
for the reader of the “amazing marvels of the earth.” Variety in sentence construction
and length produce a fluent reading.
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the
persuasive mode.
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WRITING
FINAL COPY
GO ON
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WRITING
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 3
The writer presents a clear and persuasive argument why CSP (Contemporary
Social Problems) is her/his favorite class. The essay has a standard persuasive
organizational structure: a beginning statement of purpose, three reasons supporting
the position, and a summary conclusion. Ideas are presented logically and
paragraphs are joined by simple transitions [“The First reason,” “The Second reason,”
and “The last and, best reason”].
The writer states CSP is his/her favorite class because the writer learns about the
law, the class is interesting, and “it will help me in the future because I want to be a
lawyer.” Although general information about the judicial system is presented for the
first idea [trials, crimes, sentences, and “big government words”], specific details and
examples are lacking. The third paragraph provides two examples: movies showing
“cops arresting people for drug dealing” and projects such as role-playing a judge
and a lawyer. Two explanations are also offered in the next paragraph. Although the
elaboration is uneven, it is sufficient to justify the writer’s position.
The writer’s vocabulary is weakened by overuse of the indefinite pronoun “it” and
verbs like “is” and “are.” Mundane modifiers are repeated [“The second reason
CSP is a great class is that it is an interesting class. Most classes are boring, but CSP
is fun and interesting. The projects in CSP are fun”]. On the other hand, the writer
sometimes uses topic-specific words like “convicts,” “releases,” “accused,” and
“commit.” The essay reads fluently with a few awkward sentence constructions.
This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.
GO ON
Page 29
WRITING
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 30
WRITING
Composition Score 2
The writer names home economics as his/her favorite class in the eighth grade and
recommends it [“If you love to cook and sew and make things. Than this is your
place”]. However, the focus is somewhat vague because the student writes about her/his
experiences in home economics across many grades. We are provided with a list of all
the projects that are undertaken in fifth, seventh, and eighth grades and high school.
Some ideas are unelaborated [“In 7th grade you get to make lunches and sometimes
breakfast”]. Other ideas are embellished with a simple list of examples [“You could
make the pillow into a football, a boxing glove, an eightball . . . and lots of other
things”] or a specific detail [“chocolate covered pretzles”]. However, the content is not
sufficiently developed, and the focus is not adequately directed on the task.
Although most sentences begin with “In 5th (or 7th, or 8th) grade,” the writer employs a
strong transition into high school [“It doesn’t end there, you can also take Homes in the
high school”]. The essay has an introduction and an ending.
The tone is consistent throughout the essay and shows an awareness of the audience.
The vocabulary is grade‑appropriate, although the verbs tend to be weak [“was,” “get,”
“make,” “like,” and “take”].
This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.
Page 31
WRITING
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 1
This brief essay states its purpose [“I’m writing this to tell you about a class that
you should take”] and identifies the class as science. It also has an abrupt ending
[“Well, that’s all I can say about Science class for now”]. Between them is a bare
list of reasons [“fun class,” “teacher isn’t boring,” and “you never get wrote up”].
Although these reasons may have relevance, that cannot be determined without
some elaboration and further development of the writer’s ideas. Since the response
is so brief, there is only minimal evidence of skill demonstrated in all aspects of
composing.
This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the persuasive
mode.
GO ON
Page 32
WRITING
PSSA Conventions Scoring Guideline
Thorough control of sentence formation.
Few errors, if any, are present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation,
but the errors that are present do not interfere with meaning.
Adequate control of sentence formation.
Some errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, but
few, if any, of the errors that are present may interfere with meaning.
Limited and/or inconsistent control of sentence formation. Some sentences
may be awkward or fragmented
Many errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, and
some of those errors may interfere with meaning.
Minimal control of sentence formation. Many sentences are awkward and
fragmented.
Many errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, and
many of those errors may interfere with meaning.
Page 33
WRITING
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 34
WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 4
Few, if any, errors are present in grammar and usage. There is one spelling/usage
error [“I would advise you to take my advise”], and hyphens are missing in “ninety
year old.” The otherwise error-free paper demonstrates thorough control of sentence
formation. The essay’s diversity in sentences, grammar, and vocabulary establishes
the writer’s ability to consistently and skillfully execute conventional elements.
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of all elements of conventions.
Page 35
WRITING
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 36
WRITING
Conventions Score 3
This essay demonstrates adequate control of all elements of conventions. The writer
uses a variety of sentence structures, and parenthetical expressions are implemented.
However, the sentences are sometimes repetitive and confusing [“But yet your morals
are worthless if you don’t have any actions to make your morals make a difference”]. The
writer has some difficulty with “there” and “their,” and “With out” should be one word.
Misspellings are minor errors that in this case do not interfere with meaning.
This essay exemplifies adequate control of all elements of conventions.
Page 37
WRITING
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 2
The writer struggles with sentence formation. The first sentence has no agreement
between subject and verb and lists items in a series with no “and.” The second
sentence needs a comma after “Honesty.” Many sentences are fragments [“Like
being honest to something you saw, or be honest to your family and friends”]. This
results in awkward and stilted sentences that hinder the reading of the essay and
force the reader to decipher rather than read for meaning.
This essay exemplifies limited control of all elements of conventions.
GO ON
Page 38
WRITING
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 1
There is minimal control of sentence formation in this essay. Most of the sentences
are awkward and fragmented. There are many errors in grammar and usage. The
reader is often forced to re-read a sentence for meaning [“She late use which TV” is
actually “She let us watch TV”]. The writer consistently uses the word “win” when
the writer means “when.”
This essay exemplifies little or no control of all elements of conventions.
GO ON
Page 39
Copyright ©2005 by the Pennsylvania Department of Education. The materials contained in this publication
may be duplicated by Pennsylvania educators for local classroom use. This permission does not extend to
the duplication of materials for commericial use.
Page 40

Grade 8 Writing

Transcription

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