Blue-and-Gray – Summer 2016 - National Corvette Restorers Society

MASON DIXON Blue and Gray
June 2016
~Member ~ National Corvette Restorers Society (NCRS)
~ NCRS TOP FLIGHT CHAPTER OF THE YEAR ~ Former Winners for Fourteen
Consecutive Years
~ NCRS & Mason Dixon Activities ~ Judging Events – Rallyes – Drags – Cruisin’
Nights – Day Trips Banquets – Weekend Outings Annual Atlantic City Bus Tour
~ Charities ~ Support numerous Charities throughout the Great State of Maryland
Contents
Chairman’s Report
John Veen
Vice Chairman’s Report
Jim Buckley
Treasurer’s Report
Len Maiolatesi
Recording Secretary’s Report
Eileen Lesser
Membership Chairman’s Report
Len Maiolatesi
Judging Chairman’s Report
Rick Aleshire
Social Activities Chairman’s Report
Steve Lesser
Historian’s Report
Jerry Blumenthal
Website Coordinator’s Report
Tim Davis / Gus Tsamouras
Think you Know Old Tires?
by Rick Aleshire
Corvette History
Spotlight on 1991
Komedy Korner
Chairman’s Report
John Veen
I am writing this report in mid-June and the weather is still like a rollercoaster ride temperatures up one day and down the next. At least the rain has stopped which, for some of us,
allows us to drive our Corvettes. Remember, our Corvettes are like us, they need to be exercised,
in other words DRIVEN. We shouldn’t keep them stored and covered in our garages because
they are icons of the highways and deserve to be seen. After all, they are America’s true sports
cars!!!
As I have done in the past, I want to again thank the Board of Directors for their continuous and
never ending support of me and of the Mason Dixon Chapter, not just in 2016, but over the past
3½ years while I have served as Chapter Chairman. Without their hard work, this Chapter would
cease to function and would not exist. Therefore, when you see members of the Mason Dixon
BoD, our top level managers, and the former Board members, and former top level managers,
please thank them for their time and effort in maintaining the high standards of the Mason Dixon
Chapter! This year’s Board members are: Jim Buckley, Vice Chairman; Len Maiolatesi,
Treasurer; and Eileen Lesser, Recording Secretary. This year’s managers are: Steve Lesser,
Social Activities Chairman; Len Maiolatesi, Membership Chairman; Jerry Blumenthal,
Historian; Tim Davis and Gus Tsamouras, Webmasters; and Rick Aleshire, Judging Chairman
and Magazine Editor. Without the very hard work and dedication of these Chapter members,
Mason Dixon would not continue.
Although only two Chapter events were conducted since I last reported to you, I believe they
deserve to be mentioned and recapped.
On Sunday, April 3, Rick Aleshire, Chapter Judging Chairman organized our annual Chapter
Judging Meet at Ron Adams Chevrolet in Havre de Grace, MD. A total of nine Corvettes were
judged. Of the nine, the following four Chapter member Corvettes were judged with ALL
Corvettes earning Top Flight Awards: Daniel DeVito - 1966 big block; Michael Levitas - 1965;
Lynn Libby - 1955; Greg Welsh - 1966 big block. Rick also sent out his thanks to 33 Mason
Dixon Chapter members who judged the nine Corvettes.
On Saturday, April 16, the Chapter celebrated its 25 year anniversary with the “25 th Anniversary
Party Dinner Meeting” at the Manor Tavern in Monkton, MD. A total of 54 Chapter members
attended what was a memorable event. Those who attended were rewarded with Glenn
Gitschier’s outstanding and entertaining presentation describing the very first meeting of the
Mason Dixon Chapter. For those of you who didn’t know, the first meeting of the Mason Dixon
Chapter was held at the Manor Tavern which was the reason for selecting the restaurant as the
location for the 25th Anniversary Party. Other agenda items for the celebration included the
following: recognition of Donna Benton, wife of the late Dick Benton, who started the Mason
Dixon Chapter; recognition of former and current BoD members; recognition of Rona
Blumenthal and Eileen lesser, the party coordinators; the 2016 Chapter Election Results for
Chairman, Vice Chairman, Treasurer, and Recording Secretary; the Chapter Member of the Year
Award, and the incredible and unbelievable door prize presentations. Overall, a good time was
had by all who attended this very special occasion.
As I previously mentioned, the BoD approved the “2016 Chapter Calendar of Events.” Below is
the list of Chapter events for 2016 as it appears on the Mason Dixon Chapter website.
- Saturday, June 18 - Road tour and luncheon to Friendly Farms Restaurant in Upperco, MD;
Caravan leaves from “Four Corners” Shopping Center in Jacksonville at 12:00 noon; RSVP to
Eileen Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected]
- Saturday, July 16 - Check donation event at Mt. Washington Pediatric Hospital; visit the inpatients followed by a luncheon and swim party at the Lesser’s home; Meet at the Lesser’s home
– RSVP to Eileen Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected]
- Wednesday, August 10 - 7:00 p.m. - Board Meeting - Jerry Blumenthal’s office - RSVP to
Eileen Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected]
- Saturday, August 20 - Paid-up Membership Luncheon; (location to be determined); RSVP to
Eileen Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected] - If you are unsure if your dues
are paid, contact Len Maiolatesi, Treasurer at 443-910-4727 or [email protected]
- August 25-28 - Corvettes at Carlisle in Carlisle, PA; RSVP to Steve Lesser at 410-484-9242 or
[email protected] - Meet at the Mason-Dixon tent at Space I-30
- Saturday, September 17 - Evening car show and cruise to Marley Station in Glen Burnie, MD
at 5:00 p.m.; RSVP to Steve Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected]
- Saturday, October 22 - Road tour to Ijamsville, MD for a hayride and corn maze before
Halloween; RSVP to Steve Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected] - There will
be a petting zoo present, and then we will go to the Flying Dog Brewery for lunch
- Sunday, November (specific date to be determined) - 9:00 a.m. - Road tour to Wyncote
Country Club, Oxford, PA with the Bel Air Corvette Club - RSVP to Len Maiolatesi at 443-9104727 or [email protected]
- Saturday, November 12 - Fall Dinner Membership Meeting (location to be determined);
RSVP to Eileen Lesser at 410-484-9242 or [email protected]
In mentioning the upcoming Chapter events/activities for 2016, I want to reiterate that “....this is
a membership organization and not a BoD Chapter.” The Chapter REALLY needs your help in
conducting the individual events/activities that are offered by the Chapter. Therefore, if we do
NOT have Chapter members "step up to the plate" to volunteer and fill these positions, any and
all events/activities which do NOT have event/activity leaders will NOT be conducted. I hope
and trust that you, as an individual Chapter member, will consider helping Steve by volunteering
to serve as event/activity leaders/coordinators.
As I write what is my final Chairman’s Report, I am looking forward to what this year holds. As
I mentioned in my previous report, and as most of you know by now, I will not complete the last
six months of my second two-year term as Chairman. The reason is that my wife Suzanne and I
are relocating to Wilmington, North Carolina. The relocation is bittersweet. Bitter, because I
will be leaving the area where I have thoroughly enjoyed serving as the Mason Dixon Chapter
chairman. Sweet, because Suzanne and I will embark on a new chapter in our lives together as
we build our new house in North Carolina.
I am very confident that Jim Buckley, who will serve as Chairman for the balance of 2016, and
Gus Tsamouras who will start his Chairmanship in January, 2017 will serve the Chapter well.
Both have been members of the Mason Dixon BoD and fully understand how the Chapter
operates. The Mason Dixon Chapter will be in very good hands for the foreseeable future.
In closing I encourage you to attend and participate in as many of Mason Dixon Chapter
events/activities as your schedule allows. Please be sure to “exercise” your Corvettes as much as
possible. Remember, they are designed “to be driven” and not parked in your garage!!! Finally,
for all of you, please remember to “Save the Wave.”
Sincerely,
John Veen, Chapter Chairman
Mason Dixon Chapter, NCRS
Vice Chairman’s Report
Jim Buckley
Dear Fellow Chapter Members,
It looks as if we went from winter weather into Summer heat almost over night. Great time to
take our Corvettes out from Winter storage. Tires, and of course brakes, are a very important
part of our cars to really be inspected after a long period of being parked. We need our Corvettes
to be in tip top shape for all of the upcoming Chapter events. The National should a great time to
drive our Corvettes North on the road tour to gather with other Chapter members.
I will be filling in for the remainder of John Veen's Chairperson's term. We all wish him and his
wife Suzanne well on their move South and hope their "new house" build goes without "bumps
in the road".
Steve Lesser has quite a few exciting trips lined up for all of us to enjoy. Please come out and
participate in our events.
As always, the BoD. is open to new suggestions for "Car shows", tours or any thing we can drive
our Corvettes to. Please be safe out there....Best to all, Vice Chairperson Jim
Treasurer's Report
Len Maiolatesi
As of 6/9/16, our checking account balance is $13,489.74. Thanks, Len
Recording Secretary’s Report
Eileen Lesser
Minutes of the 25th Anniversary Dinner Meeting
The Manor Tavern Restaurant
Monkton, MD
April 16, 2016
Attendance:
A total of 54 members attended this very special 25 th Anniversary Dinner Party Membership
Meeting. The anniversary dinner meeting was held at The Manor Tavern Restaurant in Monkton,
MD because this was where our first board meeting was held when the Chapter was founded in
1991. During the “meet and greet” hour before dinner, Steve Lesser showed videos of past
Mason Dixon events as well as local TV stations who aired the 50 th Corvette anniversary, the
60th Corvette anniversary, and Vintage Thunder drag racing events over several years. Chapter
Chairman John Veen opened the meeting with a celebratory toast to the 25 th Anniversary of the
Mason Dixon Chapter.
Chairman’s Report:
John Veen started the meeting at 7:00 p.m. by thanking everyone who attended this special event
of the Chapter. John continued with the introduction of the evening’s Guest of Honor, Donna
Benton, widow of the founder of the Mason Dixon Chapter, Dick Benton. John mentioned that
without Dick Benton this Chapter would not exist.
John acknowledged and recognized Chapter members who previously had served as Chapter
Chairman and who had been on the BoD. John then introduced the current BoD and mentioned
the current Board members who were not at the dinner party.
John recognized and thanked the Committee members who coordinated tonight’s event - Rona
Blumenthal, Dawn Prediger and Eileen Lesser and mentioned that without willing volunteers,
events such as the 25th Anniversary Dinner Party would not happen.
John mentioned the 25th Anniversary T-shirts and Chapter hats that Tim Davis brought to the
event this evening and thanked Tim for his hard work on designing the Chapter 25 th Anniversary
T-shirt logo. John also informed everyone that after dinner, Chapter members may purchase or
order various Mason Dixon apparel items.
John then introduced Glenn Gitschier and thanked Glenn for getting the ball rolling with his
email in which Glenn informed the BoD of the location and date of the first meeting of the
Mason Dixon Chapter. This was the beginning of the planning of the 25 th Anniversary Dinner
Party. Glenn provided a history of Mason Dixon and named some of the original founding
members, many of whom are still in the Chapter. Glenn discussed the first BoD, the first
judging, the first colors (Blue and Gray), quoted from the first issue of the “Blue and Gray,” and
stated that the Chapter began with 68 members.
Vice-Chairman’s Report:
Jim Buckley announced that the Mason Dixon Chapter had again earned the “Chapter of the
Year” Award from National NCRS. Mason Dixon has received this coveted award every year
since its inception.
Treasurer’s Report:
In Len Maiolatesi’s absence, John Veen provided the update on the Chapter Treasury which has
$15,154.73 in it.
Membership Report:
In Len Maiolatesi’s absence, John Veen provided the update on the number of members in the
Chapter which is currently 97.
Webmaster’s Report:
Tim Davis and Gus Tsamouras discussed the updated Website Calendar. They requested that
Chapter members please continue to watch the website calendar for updates on events in the
coming year.
Judging Chairman’s Report:
Rick Aleshire discussed the wonderful judging which took place at Ron Adams Chevrolet on
April 3. We want to congratulate Chapter members Daniel DeVito - 1966 big block; Michael
Levitas - 1965; Lynn Libby - 1955; Greg Welsh - 1966 big block for all attaining Top Flight at
the recent judging meet held at Ron Adams on Sunday, April 3. When you see each of them or
talk to them, please congratulate each of them for these great accomplishments. Also, our thanks
to Pete Alatzas for the delicious lunch.
Secretary’s Report:
Eileen Lesser discussed the voting ballots. We had a 50% return of voting ballots this year. At
this year’s 25th Anniversary Dinner, we distributed pen favors with the important data on them.
Eileen introduced the 3 newest members to the group: Mark and Lori Wilson, Andy and Carol
Anders, and Jim and Cathy Cella. Eileen thanked the 6 members who drove more than 2 hours
to come to the dinner this evening. She also asked the founding members to stand and be
recognized who are still on our roster:
Dick* & Donna Benton
Tim Barbieri
Gary & Mary Jean Barnes
Glenn & Gail Gitschier
Ron & Pat Goralski
Craig Goralski
Dennis & Cay Moore
Fred & Pat Mullauer
Tony Avedisian
Ernie & Mary Swanson
Eleanor & Bill* Thompson
Dennis Wagner
Chuck Walcutt
Gerry & Daretta Yursis
Paul* & Sharon Chenoweth
Bruce & Stephanie Amey
Rob & Kim Barnes
Steve & Francie George
Steve & Eileen Lesser
Chuck & Pat Gongloff
Don & Judy Hyson
Mike & Lea McCagh
Steve & Julie Sokoloff
Mike & Lynn Streckfus
Fred & Debbie Terry
Brian Tilles
David Wagoner, Jr.
Chuck & Garnette Walker
Jim & Charlotte Buckley
*Deceased members
Social Activities Chairman’s Report:
Steve Lesser distributed the 2016 Calendar of Events and discussed some of the newer events
that are scheduled for the coming year including a one-day trip to Bowling Green, Kentucky.
Steve brought a laptop and projector to view our most recent videos including the 50 th
anniversary of the Corvette and the 60 th anniversary of the Corvette. Channel 13, Channel 11
and Channel 45 came to our events and taped the Corvette sessions for airing on television as
well as Vintage Thunder fund-raising drag racing events over the last few years.
Historian’s Report:
In Jerry Blumenthal’s absence, he provided Chapter photo albums which were available for
everyone to view during the evening.
After dinner, Tim Davis provided a complete update on the Chapter apparel program. He
brought with him some 25th anniversary T-shirts, baseball hats, and men’s and women’s Mason
Dixon T-shirts and golf shirts. Tim and Trisha were selling apparel at the dinner meeting as well
as taking orders for future shirts and hats.
John provided the slate of officers on the Voting Ballots and announced the newly elected
Chapter Officers for the years 2017-2019. The newly elected positions were as follows:
Chairman - Gus Tsamouras
Vice-Chairman - Jim Buckley
Secretary - Eileen Lesser
Treasurer - Len Maiolatesi
Chapter Member of the Year Award:
Gus Tsamouras, the next Chapter Chairman presented the Member of the Year Award to John
Veen, current Chairman of the Mason Dixon Chapter. John thanked all the Board members who
had voted for him and told the attendees that he was totally surprised because the Board
members had informed him the recipient was another Chapter member. John and his wife
Suzanne will be moving from Mount Airy, MD to Wilmington, NC in the next few months. John
stated that he has thoroughly enjoyed serving as Chapter Chairman for the last 3 1/2 years.
Good and Welfare:
 Our continued get well wishes to Chuck and Pat Gongloff’s daughter, Mitzi;
 Our heartiest congratulations to Barry and Ruth Green on the birth of their 6 th
grandchild, Nathan Bennett Green;
 Our sincerest sympathies to Jack and Katie Dott on the recent loss of Jack’s father, Eric,
former owner of Peerce’s Plantation and avid lover of antique cars;
 Our warmest congratulations to Rick Aleshire on the birth of his 4 th grandchild, Ryanne
Marie Aleshire-Valdez
After dinner, Steve and Eileen Lesser distributed the door prizes as well as announcing the
winner of the raffle for the motorized bike donated by BreakThru Beverage/Reliable-Churchill.
The money collected for the raffle will be donated to the Mt. Washington Pediatric Hospital in
July.
After the lightning round questions, the meeting was adjourned at approximately 9:50 p.m.
Steve thanked the following Corvette vendors who have donated extremely generous gifts to
tonight’s dinner meeting: National Parts Depot, Summit Racing, Zip Products, Mike Furman
from Criswell Chevrolet, Al Knoch, Chevy Mall, Bill Ogden, Race Ramps of Kwan International
Marketing & Media, Hemmings Motor News, Country Club Automotive, and BreakThru
Beverage/Reliable-Churchill.
The next Board meeting will take place on Wednesday, June 8 at 7:00 p.m. at Jerry Blumenthal’s
office. All Chapter members are welcome to attend Board meetings, but please contact Eileen
Lesser or one of the Board members to let us know you are coming so we can order enough food
for dinner. Before everyone left, group photographs were taken of the current BoD and the past
BoD.
Respectfully submitted,
Eileen Lesser
Recording Secretary
Web site: www.NCRS.org/masondixon
Minutes of the Board of Directors Meeting
@ Jerry Blumenthal’s office
Lutherville, Maryland
June 8, 2016
Attendance:
John Veen
Jim Buckley Rick Aleshire Jerry Blumenthal
Eileen Lesser Steve Lesser Tim Davis
Chairman’s Report:
After a light dinner, John Veen began the meeting at 7:10 p.m. by thanking Tim for bringing
dinner. He also thanked and updated everyone on the 25 th anniversary dinner and the final
outcome with Manor Tavern. John thanked everyone who helped him during his 3-1/2 year
tenure as well as his receipt of the “Member of the Year” Award. He encouraged Tim Davis to
bring the T-shirts, hats and apparel to each event as well as put it on the website so that our
members can purchase these items. Although John will be leaving his position mid-term, he has
kindly offered to continue to work on the By-Laws with Rick electronically. John has also
offered to put his Mason-Dixon data on a DVD disk for Jim and for Gus to help them get started.
Vice-Chairman’s Report:
Jim Buckley announced that Mason Dixon received the “Chapter of the Year” Award from
National NCRS. Mason Dixon has received this coveted award every year including the names
of the Member of the Year Award. Since John Veen is leaving mid-term, Jim will take over until
January when Gus Tsamouras will assume his new position as Chairman.
Treasurer’s Report:
In Len Maiolatesi’s absence, John gave an update on the Chapter Treasury which has $13,489.74
in it.
Membership Report:
In Len Maiolatesi’s absence, John gave an update on the number of members in the Chapter (97).
Webmaster’s Report:
Tim announced that he updated the website calendar. He will put the new Mason Dixon apparel
on the website so that our members can purchase them.
Judging Chairman’s Report:
Rick discussed the car show on June 26 for “Faces of Valor” as there should be hundreds of cars
and motorcycles present.
Secretary’s Report:
Eileen Lesser discussed the upcoming road tour to Friendly Farms. Since the prices have
increased at the restaurant, she said Mason Dixon will consider this event as a dinner event next
year instead of lunch.
Social Activities Chairman’s Report:
Steve Lesser discussed the rest of the 2016 calendar. He also discussed the additional funds that
we will donate to the Mt. Washington Pediatric Hospital event in July. Steve will continue to
work on the Paid-Up Membership Luncheon on August 20 as well as the Corvette Carlisle event
the week after the Luncheon.
Historian’s Report:
Jerry discussed Ledo Restaurant who will cater the Mt. Washington event on July 16. Jerry also
announced that we received an invitation to visit and have lunch at the Diamond Detail location.
Old Business:
Tim Davis provided an update on the Chapter apparel program. He will bring the T-shirts, hats
and apparel to each upcoming event so that our members can purchase Mason Dixon apparel.
He will also bring the apparel to Corvette Carlisle in August.
Good and Welfare:
 Our continued get well wishes to Chuck and Pat Gongloff’s daughter, Mitzi;
 Our heartiest congratulations to Steve Lesser on his 70 th birthday;
 Get well wishes to Gus Tsamouras;
 Congratulations to Kim and Rob Barnes on their recent article.
The next Board meeting will take place on Wednesday, August 10, 2016 at 7:00 p.m. at Jerry
Blumenthal’s office. All members are welcome to attend Board meetings, but please contact
Eileen Lesser or one of the Board members to let us know you are coming so we order enough
dinner.
Respectfully submitted,
Eileen Lesser
Recording Secretary
Web site: www.NCRS.org/masondixon
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Membership Chairman's Report
Len Maiolatesi
As of 6/9/16, we have 97 members. Please remember to pay your NCRS dues before your
membership expires. REMEMBER, you must be a current member of NCRS to remain a
member of Mason Dixon. Thanks, Len
Judging Chairman’s Report
Rick Aleshire
As was mentioned by several other BoD members, we had a very successful April judging meet
at Ron Adams. Four Chapter members attained Top Flight with each of their respective cars.
Lynn Libby - 1955
Mike Levitas - 1965
Daniel DeVito - 1966
Greg Welsh - 1966
As an additional treat, Mason Dixon member Tony Avedisian was interviewed by Benjamin
Preston of Hemmings.
FROM IBM ACCOUNTANT TO CORVETTE WIZARD
By: Benjamin Preston
When I contacted the Corvette Club of America to see who they might recommend as a Corvette
expert, they gave me a name without hesitation. "Contact Tony Avedisian at Tony's Corvette
Shop," Terry Popkin, the club's ambassador to the National Corvette Museum, wrote within 20
minutes of my sending an email.
I had been expecting a connection with an older gentleman, one presumably living in a wideopen desert with plenty of space for fast driving and long-term project storage. Avedisian was
neither. A former accountant, he was gray-haired, but in good trim and abuzz with youthful
energy. His shop was nowhere near the desert, but in suburban Montgomery County, MD., just
outside Washington, D.C.
Located at the elbow of an intersection between the main road and a strip mall, Tony's Corvette
Shop is a sprawling complex comprising two hangar-like buildings and some shipping containers
filled with spare parts.
Upon entering the garage in Building One, I came face-to-face with a restored 1963 Z06 that
looked as if it had just rolled out of the factory. It had been finished just in time to be loaded into
a trailer and sent to Bloomington Gold, a judged event where the Corvette faithful go to prove
their dedication to the high priests of the Corvette tribe.
The reasons for Avedisian's success were evident as soon as I entered the shop's inner sanctum.
Farther inside, even, than the boxes of sun visor screws, marker light bezels and other very
specific parts, was the shop's unemotional brain: a computer loaded with digital photographs.
Avedisian says he takes photographs of every detail – not just of the cars he restores, but ones he
spots in shows and even junkyards. All of his technicians have digital cameras, too.
The level of detail they chronicle is astounding. During the early '60s, for example, there were
only a handful of GM plant employees who wrote the assembly-line alphanumeric codes on the
firewall. Avedisian and his team are familiar with their handwriting, and can tell when someone
has changed the original number to make a car appear more valuable.
Much of this Corvette knowledge was gained from his many years on the job. Avedisian has
been restoring Corvettes professionally since 1989. Still, when questions about what's correct
and what isn't bubble to the surface during a restoration, the irrefutable proof comes from the
shop's archive of photos.
"It's doesn't even come down to my opinion anymore," he said. "It's forensic; you can't argue
with pictures."
And then there are all the parts. "I'm a parts hoarder," Avedisian said, plucking a screw from one
of the gray metal bins lining the wall. "You see this? It's a No. 10 screw with a No. 6 head,
chrome-plated." He told me it was the only correct screw to mount sun visors on a specific
Corvette model. He showed me colored fuses he'd taken from junkyards back in the '90s. There
was a 600-pound stash of original wheel weights from the factory. He had suspension cradle
nuts and weatherstripping, and parts that had been discontinued for years.
We walked down corridor after corridor, passing steering columns, metal trim strips and
suspension parts, among other things. Avedisian pointed to a bushel of dipsticks protruding from
one of the shelves. The judges at Bloomington Gold are sticklers for correct gear, he said. Nonoriginal dipsticks and incorrect sun visor fasteners wouldn't do.
"For an original build, everything has to be the way it was when it rolled off the assembly line,"
he said. "That's why we've been able to succeed in this business – we have an unbelievable
amount of parts."
Avedisian's rise to Corvette wizardry was circuitous. He caught the bug in his teens and restored
his own cars over the years. But for nearly two decades, he worked for IBM as an accountant.
Eventually, though, his love for the cars outweighed his need to maintain a 9-to-5 office job.
After restoring a co-worker's Corvette, word spread that Avedisian knew what he was doing. A
local police officer was the next to commission him for a restoration. Others followed. By the
end of the '80s, he and Andrew Toman, who is still his lead tech, were moonlighting at
Avedisian's house. But after working nights and weekends for 10 years, Avedisian finally
decided to quit his day job.
"Everyone thought I was nuts," he recalled. "There I was, I worked for IBM and had a wife and
two kids. But I did it and I don't look back. This is the American dream."
Social Activities Report
- Steve Lesser
The new way to spell Corvette is “FUN.” What can be more fun than driving your Corvette with
other Corvettes and other members of Mason Dixon? Whether you join us for a road tour, a
caravan, a cruise, or just lunch or dinner in your Corvette, we guarantee FUN. That’s the name
of the game! Below are a lot of activities for the upcoming months. We would love to see you at
these events. Watch for flyers on your email from Eileen.
Every Saturday – Hunt Valley Horsepower “Coffee and Cars” – every Saturday morning from
8:00-10:00 a.m. at Hunt Valley Mall before the mall opens;
June 18 – Road tour and luncheon to Friendly Farms Restaurant in Upperco, MD;
July 16 – Mt. Washington Pediatric Hospital check-donation, visit the in-patients at the hospital
followed by a luncheon and swim party at the Lesser’s home;
August 10 – Board Meeting;
August 20 – Paid-Up Membership Luncheon (place to be determined);
August 25-28– Corvette Carlisle in Carlisle, PA; come to the Mason Dixon tent and buy your Tshirts, hats and Mason Dixon apparel there;
September 17 – Diamond Detail – details to follow;
October 22 – Hayride and corn maze in Ijamsville and tour of Flying Dog Brewery in Frederick
– details to follow;
November 12 – Fall Dinner Meeting (location to be determined);
December – Happy Holidays!
Historian’s Report
Jerry Blumenthal
Folks, we really do need everyone’s help here! If you have any pictures, stories, etc. to share
with us all, please let Jerry or any of the BOD know.
Website Coordinator’s Report
Tim Davis / Gus Tsamouras
The Newsletter is published in a single PDF file. It seems that many of our club members now
have highspeed or broadband internet access, so we're hoping that the download issues of the
past, might well be, well, past us! - Let us know if you can’ t read this.
Think you Know Old Tires?
by Rick Aleshire (38392)
How Old — and Dangerous — Are Your Tires?
The older a tire gets, the higher the risk of sudden and unexpected tread separation.
How to Determine Your Tire's Age
The last four digits of the "modern" DOT code show how old the tire is.
In February 2008, the owner of a 1998 Ford Explorer in Georgia needed a new tire for his SUV
and ended up buying a used one. When he was driving two weeks later, the tread suddenly
separated from the tire. The Explorer went out of control and hit a motorcycle, killing its rider.
An analysis of the used tire revealed that it was nearly 10 years old!
More recently, an investigation into the cause of the accident that killed the actor Paul Walker
revealed that the Porsche Carrera GT in which he was riding had nine-year-old tires! The
California Highway Patrol noted that the tires' age might have compromised their drivability and
handling characteristics, according to the Los Angeles Times.
These incidents illustrate not only the potential danger of buying used tires but also the perils of
driving on aging tires — including those that have never spent a day on the road.
For years, people have relied on a tire's tread depth to determine its condition. But the rubber
compounds in a tire deteriorate with time, regardless of the condition of the tread. An old tire
poses a safety hazard.
For some people, old tires might never be an issue. If you drive a typical number of miles,
somewhere around 12,000-15,000 miles annually, a tire's tread will wear out in three to four
years, long before the rubber compound does. But if you only drive 6,000 miles a year, or have a
car that you only drive on weekends, aging tires could be an issue.
The age warning applies to spare tires and "new" tires that have never been used but are old.
What Happens to a Tire as It Ages?
Sean Kane, president of Safety Research & Strategies, Inc., compares an aging tire to an old
rubber band. "If you take a rubber band that's been sitting around a long time and stretch it, you
will start to see cracks in the rubber," says Kane, whose organization is involved in research,
analysis and advocacy on safety matters for the public and clients including attorneys,
engineering firms, supplier companies, media and government.
That's essentially what happens to a tire that's put on a vehicle and driven. Cracks in the rubber
begin to develop over time. They may appear on the surface and inside the tire as well. This
cracking can eventually cause the steel belts in the tread to separate from the rest of the tire. An
animation on the Safety Research & Strategies Web site shows how this happens. Improper
maintenance and heat accelerate the process.
Every tire that's on the road long enough will succumb to age. Tires that are rated for higher
mileage have "anti-ozinant" chemical compounds built into the rubber that will slow the aging
process, but nothing stops the effects of time on rubber, says Doug Gervin, Michelin's director of
product marketing for passenger cars and light trucks.
How Long Does a Tire Last?
Carmakers, tire makers and rubber manufacturers differ in their opinions about the lifespan of a
tire. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has no specific guidelines
on tire aging and defers to the recommendations of carmakers and tire manufacturers.
Carmakers such as Nissan and Mercedes-Benz tell consumers to replace tires six years after their
production date, regardless of tread life. Tire manufacturers such as Continental and Michelin
say a tire can last up to 10 years, provided you get annual tire inspections after the fifth year.
The Rubber Manufacturers Association says there is no way to put a date on when a tire
"expires," because such factors as heat, storage and conditions of use can dramatically reduce the
life of a tire. Here's more on each of these factors.
Heat: NHTSA research has found that tires age more quickly in warmer climates. NHTSA also
found that environmental conditions like exposure to sunlight and coastal climates can hasten the
aging process. People who live in warm weather and coastal states should keep this in mind
when deciding whether they should retire a tire.
Storage: This applies to spare tires and tires that are sitting in a garage or shop. Consider how a
spare tire lives its life. If you own a truck, the spare may be mounted underneath the vehicle,
exposed to dirt and the elements. If your spare is in the trunk, it's as if it is "baking in a
miniature oven," says Dan Zielinski, senior vice president of public affairs for the Rubber
Manufacturers Association. Most often, the spare never sees the light of day. But if the tire has
been inflated and mounted on a wheel, it is technically "in service," even if it's never been used,
Gervin says.
A tire that has not been mounted and is just sitting in a tire shop or your garage will age more
slowly than one that has been put into service on a car. But it ages nonetheless.
Conditions of use: This refers to how the tire is treated. Is it properly inflated? Has it hit the
curb too many times? Has it ever been repaired for a puncture? Tires on a car that's only driven
on the weekends will have a different aging pattern than those on a car that's driven daily on the
highway. All these factors contribute to how quickly or slowly a tire wears out.
Proper maintenance is the best thing a person can do to ensure a long tire life. Gervin
recommends that you maintain proper air pressure in tires, have them rotated regularly and have
them routinely inspected.
How To Determine the Age of a Tire
The sidewall of a tire is full of numbers and letters. They all mean something, but deciphering
them can be a challenge. This Edmunds article about reading a tire's sidewall goes into greater
detail, but for the purposes of determining the age of a tire, you'll just need to know its U.S.
Department of Transportation (DOT) number.
Tires made after 2000 have a four-digit DOT code. The first two numbers represent the week in
which the tire was made. The second two represent the year. A tire with a DOT code of 1109
was made in the 11th week of 2009. Tires with a three-digit code were made prior to 2000 and
are trickier to decode. The first two digits still tell you the week, but the third digit tells you the
year in the decade that it was created. The hard part is knowing what decade that was. Some
tires made in the 1990s (but not all) have a triangle after the DOT code, denoting that decade.
But for tires without that, a code of "328" could be from the 32nd week of 1988 — or 1978.
Clearly, these DOT numbers weren't designed with the consumer in mind. They were originally
put on tires to make it easier for NHTSA to recall tires and keep track of their manufacturing
date.
To make matters worse, you might not always find the DOT number on the outer side of the tire.
Because of the way a tire is made, it is actually safer for the technician operating the mold to
imprint information on the inner side of the tire, so some manufacturers will opt to put the
number there. It is still possible to check the DOT code, but you might have to jack the car up to
see it. Keep the visibility of the DOT number in mind the next time you are at a tire shop and the
installer asks if you want the tires to be mounted with the raised lettering facing in.
Prod
Official 1991 GM Photo
Front and Rear Style Upgrade
A styling makeover was the big news for the 1991 Corvette. A new look was overdue since it had
been the same body shape since March 1983 when the C4 was first available. Eight years is long
time for a car whose claim to fame is an exciting shape.
The update included a new wraparound and integrated front turn signal - auxiliary lamp cornering light - side marker light area. While not a drastic change, the upgrade somehow
managed to make the whole car more up to date.
The rear view was also promoted; the change to a convex shape and more squared tail lights was
premiered in the 1990 ZR-1. Many felt the move was the beginning of the end of the ZR-1
option, as most of its distinctive appearance was now shared with the more pedestrian Corvettes.
The center brake light was moved from the targa roof bar to between the tail lights which
everyone agreed was a good thing. Oddly, the ZR-1 continued with the targa roof bar light
mounting solution. Apparently the costs for tooling a new rear section just for the ZR-1 could not
be justified.
Also new for '91: A turbine style wheel made its debut and is sometimes referred to as the
"Cuisinart Wheel". A set of four horizontal indentations behind the front wheels replaced the two
vertical marks seen since 1984.
1991 was the last year Callaway Corvettes (RPO B2K; $33,000.00) were part of the options list.
71 were sold; a total of about 500 Callaway twin turbo Corvettes had been built under the
program. Twelve of the 1991 Callaway Twin Turbo Corvettes were special "Speedster" models.
Production Options and Build Statistics
Total 1991 Corvettes Built - 20,639
Total 1991 Coupes - 14,967 (72.52%)
Total 1991 Convertibles - 5,672 (27.48%)
Total 1991 ZR1 (includes ZR-1) - 2,044
Coupe Serial Numbers: 1G1YY238xM5100001 to 1G1YY238xM5118595
Convertible Serial Numbers: 1G1YY338xM5100001 to 1G1YY338xM5118595
ZR-1 Serial Numbers: 1G1YZ23JxM5800001 to 1G1YZ23JxM5802044
The "Vehicle Identification Number" (also VIN or serial number) is stamped on a plate on the
inner vertical surface of the left windshield pillar visible through the windshield.
1991 Corvette engines have the last six digits of the VIN stamped on the block after the engine
number. The date code the engine was manufactured was also cast into the block. The engine
serial number includes a production sequence number starting with 0001001 and one of the
suffixes noted in the table on the following page.
250 horsepower engines were in coupes with the 3.07:1 rear end only. 245 horsepower engines
were in all other coupes and all convertibles.
The base Corvette coupe with 350 cu. in. 245 hp engine and four speed automatic transmission
cost $32,455.00. Whereas, the base Corvette convertible with 350 cu. in. 240 hp engine and four
speed automatic transmission cost $38,770.00.
Code
Engine
Horsepower
Compression
Transmission
ZTA
L98 350-cid
245/250-hp V-8
10.0:1
Automatic
ZTB
L98 350-cid
245/250-hp V-8
10.0:1
Manual
ZTC
L98 350-cid
245/250-hp V-8
10.0:1
Automatic
ZTK
LT5 350-cid
375-hp V-8
11.0:1
Manual
Fuel Supply
Tuned Port
Injection (TPI)
Tuned Port
Injection (TPI)
Tuned Port
Injection (TPI)
Tuned Port
Injection (TPI)
Extra
Features
Engine Oil
Cooler
Engine Oil
Cooler
Mechanical Dimensions
Feature
Wheelbase
Overall length
Overall width
Overall height
Front Tread
Rear Tread
Front Tires
Rear Tires
Coupe
96.2 inches (2.443 m)
176.5 inches (4.483 m)
71.0 inches (1.803 m)
46.7 inches (1.186 m)
59.6 inches (1.514 m)
60.4 inches (1.534 m)
P275/40ZR-17 Goodyear
Eagle GT
P275/40ZR-17 Goodyear
Eagle GT
Convertible
96.2 inches (2.443 m)
176.5 inches (4.483 m)
71.0 inches (1.803 m)
59.6 inches (1.514 m)
60.4 inches (1.534 m)
P275/40ZR-17 Goodyear
Eagle GT
P275/40ZR-17 Goodyear
Eagle GT
ZR-1
96.2 inches (2.443 m)
177.4 inches (4.506 m)
74.0 inches (1.880 m)
46.7 inches (1.186 m)
59.6 inches (1.514 m)
61.9 inches (1.572 m)
P275/40ZR-17 Goodyear Eagle GT
P315/35ZR-17 Goodyear Eagle GT
Production Options
RPO
1YY07
1YY67
AC1
AC3
AQ9
AR9
B2K
CC2
C2L
24S
64S
C68
FX3
G92
KC4
MN6
NN5
UJ6
UU8
U1F
Description
Base Coupe
Base Convertible
Power Passenger Seat
Power Driver Seat
Leather Sport Seats
Base Leather Seats
Callaway Twin Turbo
Auxiliary Hardtop (Convert.)
Dual Removable Roof Panels
Removable Roof Panel, blue tint
Removable Roof Panel, bronze tint
Electronic Air Conditioning
Selective Ride and Handling System
Performance Axle Ratio
Engine Oil Cooler
6-spd, Manual Transmission
California Emission Requirements
Low Tire Pressure Warning System
Delco Bose Stereo System
Delco Bose CD Stereo System
Price
$32,455
$38,770
$290.00
$290
$1,050
$425
$33,000
$1,995
$915
$615
$615
$180
$1,695
$22
$110
$0.00
$100
$325
$823
$1,219
Production
14,967
5,672
17,267
19,937
10,650
N/A
62
1,230
5,031
6,991
3,036
19,233
6,894
N/A
7,525
5,875
3,050
5,175
3,786
15,345
V56
Z07
ZR1
AJ3
CC3
CF7
C60
DC7
DC8
DL8
D3X
D4L
D7B
D7C
D8E
D8F
D8H
FE1
FE7
GM1
GM3
GU2
G44
JL9
J55
K05
K09
K68
L98
LT5
MD8
na5
NK4
QA1
QA2
T61
Luggage Rack (convertible)
Adjustable Suspension Pkg. (coupe)
Special Performance Handling Pkg. (coupe)
Front Seat Inflatable Restraint System
Removable Plastic Roof Panel
Removable Roof Panel (Solid Body Color)
Manual Air Conditioning Controls
Electronic LH & RH Outside Mirrors
Electronic LH & RH Outside Mirrors
LH/RH Heated Sport Mirrors
Speedometer Driven Gear (25513049)
Speedometer Driven Gear (25513050)
Speedometer Driven Gear (25513043)
Speedometer Driven Gear (25513045)
Vehicle Speed Sensor (10456021)
Vehicle Speed Sensor (10456022)
Vehicle Speed Sensor (10456039)
Soft Ride Suspension
Heavy Duty Suspension
2.59 Rear Axle Ratio
3.45 Rear Axle Ratio (8.5 in. Ring Gear)
2.73 Rear Axle Ratio
3.07 Rear Axle Ratio
Antilock Front and Rear Disc Brakes
Heavy Duty Brakes
Engine Block Heater (Canada Export only)
120-Amp Generator
105-Amp Generator
8-Cyl., V8, 5.7L (Vin 8) Engine
8-Cyl., V8, 5.7L (Vin J) Engine
4-Spd. 4L60 Automatic Transmission
Federal Emission systems
Sport Leather Steering Wheel
Wheel, 17 x 9.5, Aluminum
Wheels, 17 x 9.5 (Front), 17 x 11 (Rear), Aluminum
Daytime Running Lights
$140
$2,155
$31,683
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
886
733
2,044
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
UM6
UXO
U19
U52
U75
XAU
YAU
YBE
Bose Stereo w/ CD & Cassette, Seek/Scan, Clock,
ETR Radio
Dual Floor Sill & Extended Range Speaker System
Miles & Kilometers Dash Cluster
Electronic Instrument Cluster
Power Antenna
Front Tire, P275/40ZR17
Rear Tire, P275/40ZR17
Rear Tire, P315/35ZR17
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
N/A
Colors
Interior options for exterior colors are suggested by Chevrolet. Other combinations could be
ordered.
Code
10
25
35
41
42
75
80
81
91
96
Exterior
White
Steel Blue Metallic
Yellow
Black
Turquoise Metallic
Dark Red Metallic
Quasar Blue Metallic
Bright Red
Polo Green Metallic
Charcoal Metallic
Quantity
4,305 (20.86%)
835 (4.05%)
650 (3.15%)
3,909 (18.94%)
1,621 (7.85%)
1,311 (6.35%)
1,038 (5.03%)
5,318 (25.77%)
1,230 (5.96%)
417 (2.02%)
Interior
Blue / Black / Gray / Red / Saddle
Blue / Black
Black / Gray / Saddle
Blue / Black / Gray / Saddle
Black / Saddle
Black / Saddle
Black / Saddle
Black / Gray / Red / Sadddle
Black / Saddle
Black / Gray / Saddle
Soft Top
Black / Beige / White
Blue / Black / White
Black / Beige / White
Black / Beige / White
Blue / Black
Black / Beige / White
Black / Beige
Black / Beige / White
Black / Beige
Black / White
Komedy Korner
THE BACK NINE
A great read as we enter the 9TH decade of our lives.
You know time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It
seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate.
Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived
them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.
But, here it is the back nine of my life and it catches me by surprise. How did I get here so fast?
Where did the years go and where did my youth go?
I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were
years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I
could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.
But, here it is my friends are retired and getting grey; they move slower and I see an older person
now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me but, I see the great change. Not like the
ones that I remember who were young and vibrant but, like me, their age is beginning to show
and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.
Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is
not a treat anymore it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will I just fall asleep where I
sit!
And so now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the
loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least
I know, that though I’m on the back nine, and I'm not sure how long it will last this I know, that
when it's over on this earth it's over. A new adventure will begin! Yes, I have regrets. There are
things I wish I hadn't done; things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm
happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.
So, if you're not on the back nine yet let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think.
So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off
too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether
you’re on the back nine or not!
You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life; so, live for today and say all
the things that you want your loved ones to remember, and hope that they appreciate and love
you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!
"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a
fantastic one. LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY!
HAVE A GREAT DAY! Remember "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and
silver.
LASTLY, CONSIDER THIS:
Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect!
Going out is good.. Coming home is better!
You forget names.... But it's OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!!
You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf.
The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore, but you really don't care
that you aren't as interested.
You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV 'ON' than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".
You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?".."when?"... ???
You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
Everybody whispers.
You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.
But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What
Kind Of Life You Have Lived. Today is the oldest you've ever been; yet the youngest you'll ever
be, so enjoy this day while it lasts.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely and a well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, favorite beverage in hand, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out, and screaming, Hooyah!...what a ride!"
Shack it to Me......In Heaven
A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led
him down the streets of gold. They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very
end of the street. Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack. “This belongs to
you,” said Saint Peter.
“Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in?” the man
demanded.
“We did the best we could with the money you sent us!” Saint Peter replied.
Possibly the Funniest Clean Story of the Year
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered
prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my
husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain
was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled
gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Phil must have
experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible
pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able
to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in
place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they
imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the
doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with
unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation
held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
An Old Man
An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from his couch, then starts putting on his coat.
His wife, observing her husband's odd behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get some Viagra." Immediately the wife starts positioning herself
to get out of her rocker and begins putting her coat on.
He asks, "Where the hell are you going?"
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Rest Your Mind
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names
such as "Luvs", "Huggies", and "Pampers", while undergarments for old people are called
"Depends". Well here is the low down on the whole thing.
When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna luv'em, hug'em, and pamper'em. When
old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!
Business Consultants
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ' Steve’s Place,' and noticed that the waiter
who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter
came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our
processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most
frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table
per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the
kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another
spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was
impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that
all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked
the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I
mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of
our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our
hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
Rhythm and Blues
Q: Why are there so few Buddhist rhythm and blues bands?
A: Because Buddhists don't have any soul.
Nothing to Do
Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful?
A: Nothing, nothing at all.
Converting to the Society of Friends
Rabbi 1: We've got to do something. Many of the young people in our synagogue are converting
to the Quaker faith.
Rabbi 2: I've noticed that too. In fact, some of my best Jews are Friends!