NDIAA

NEWS from
JANUARY 2014
NORTHERN DELAWARE INTERGROUP
A newcomer explores Step One and the five ways
he was definitely powerless and unmanageable
I wholly acknowledge that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life had become completely unmanageable. I began using mind-altering substances when I first
got my driver’s license at age 15. At first it was a few beers, but as time went on the
substances were more serious. Alcohol was always there though, and always used in
conjunction with whatever we were doing.
Somehow, in a complete fog, I managed to get into college, even a good one, and
miraculously I made fairly good grades. The first year I was heavily stoned and mildly
drunk every day, but when I was a sophomore I found the social scene to be far more
enjoyable with heavy amounts of alcohol, so I became a heavy binge drinker. At this
point I didn’t care about the hard drugs anymore and they became just a memory, as I
let the “super juice” take control. I drank every day, sometimes as much as a case of
beer. I became the president of my fraternity, made the dean’s list, and by my senior
year I was dating a beautiful girl from a great family who eventually became my wife.
Life was a party, and I wasn’t going to change a thing.
I graduated in ‘97 and found a job immediately. I got married, bought a house, had
a baby and started working on baby number two all in the first year. I was getting promotions and pay increases while starting each day with a hangover and ending each in
a fog. I drank everything. Spiced rum was a favorite. I took a flask everywhere and
would just buy a soda at the ball game and make my own drink. Every social event,
every wedding, every holiday and every ordinary day, I got bombed. The years peeled
off without my noticing. By the time I was 30 I was making six figures with a top
company. I knew all along that I drank too much and too often. I knew it damaged my
health, bothered my wife, annoyed my employer and affected my kids, but I was scoring touchdowns. Life was still a party, and I had no intention of stopping.
My industry crashed in 2006, and I got laid off from easy street. That was OK
though, as I have never been averse to hard work. I took a job with a former customer
and actually started doing quite well in just a few months. But the business climate
worsened and so did my consumption. Life wasn’t a party anymore, but the alcohol
was still there— and there was even more of it. When I tried to stop, I couldn’t. I said
to myself thousands of times at 2:00 in the afternoon that I wouldn’t drink that night,
but at 6:00 I was well on my way. I became angrier. It was the only emotion I had.
Then I hit bottom. It is said that alcohol is cunning and baffling and indeed it is. How
did I get from the dean’s list and six figures to June 2, 2010? Here are five examples
of how I am powerless over alcohol: Every day I had a priority to make sure I had
alcohol, but not just one source—many sources. As I emptied my house and shop on
June 3, I realized how many places I had stored it. I had alcohol in three refrigerators,
two freezers, the cabinets, the pantry and the wine rack. Every trip to the grocery store
involved getting more, even though several of these things usually already had something there.
(Continued Next Page)
(302) 655-5113
Suite 21-B Trolley Square, Wilmington, DE 19806
VISIT OUR WEB SITE—WWW.NDIAA.ORG
1
Step One
We admitted we were
powerless over alcohol
— that our lives had become unmanageable.
Tradition One
Our common welfare
comes first; personal recovery depends upon
A.A. unity.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Cover Story
1
Meeting Notices, etc
2
Anniversaries
3
Anniversary Club
3
Misc. Flyers/AA information
4
Total Contributions/2013
5
Institutional Commitments
6
Step One/Tradition One
7
INTERGROUP OFFICERS
Chairman:
Mike M.
Vice Chairman:
Claire S.
Secretary:
Michelle C.
Treasurer:
Max M.
AA NEWS
JANUARY 2013
I was powerless to control my thought process. I couldn’t not think about it—ever. My second example: It wouldn’t have mattered
what reason I had to not drink at 2:00 in the afternoon. It wouldn’t have mattered if the Pope himself was coming to pay me a personal visit. I was drinking and the Pope would just have to see me with a cold beer in one hand and a box of wine In the other. I
knew at 2:00 that I shouldn’t do It, but by 6:00 all of those intentions were completely erased. No matter what it was or how important, I simply didn’t care when it came time to have the first drink. Example three is how much it affected things I did once I was on
a roll. My wife, looking good, would ask me to come to bed, and I would say I would be right there and two hours later I would still
be pouring it in me. It was a rare occasion to have sex in the evening, as alcohol was my priority. I was powerless to reverse those
priorities. My fourth example is how I reacted to alcohol once I started drinking I never could understand how someone could have
one or two beers. No way could I ever do that. Once I started it was on, and I didn’t stop until I fell asleep or passed out. When I
would go out with business associates they would have a couple drinks at dinner and then go back to their rooms. When I went back
to my room it was always with a bottle. I have countless examples I can list where I was In a town at a hotel without a rental car and
I would walk to the liquor store after dinner by myself. I remember Oklahoma City, early March, 26 degrees, nine blocks walking,
howling wind, and I was powerless to stop from going.
Example five: I structured everything around drinking. Everything. For some reason I had an objection to driving drunk, so I
wouldn’t go to a cookout or a ballgame unless my wife was there to drive me home. Drinking affected when I booked airline flights,
when I had doctor’s appointments, where I went out to eat, and of course, who my friends were. We didn’t invite certain couples to
come over for dinner, and my wife was “trained” to turn down certain invitations based on who they were from. If it didn’t involve
drinking, I wasn’t going to do it. I always took the kids to Little League, but the late evening games really bothered me. Whenever
there was a function in the evening that I had to attend but couldn’t drink, I was a nervous wreck until I got the juice. Here are the
five examples of how my life has become unmanageable due to alcohol: The first example has to do with anger. It’s really the only
emotion, aside from sadness, that I have felt for a long time. And once the root of anger took control in my heart and mind all of the
normal problems that should be easy to handle became unmanageable. Small financial problems, basic issues with raising kids and
simple marital stresses are all unmanageable through an angry alcoholic fog.
That first example leads directly into the second, because my inability to manage my anger has bred deep-rooted resentment. Alcohol prevents normal emotions from playing out. So I have buried and suppressed these feelings, resulting in a warped perception
of the world. I have resented completely innocent people and those closest to me. I push people away, and I am the ultimate loser
when that plays out. Example three: Earlier in my career I had the benefit of a good economy, and my hard work ethic enabled me to
rise to the top. Alcohol placed blinders on me and made me look at business with a warped perception. It’s like a hammer hitting a
nail. If I didn’t make enough money, “Hit the friggin’ nail harder!” I would say. Alcohol prevented me from taking different approaches to the same problem. The inability to see these other methods for solving problems makes life unmanageable. And what is
sad is that these other methods are not secrets; you don’t have to read hundreds of books or get a degree. They are right in front of
me, and all I have to do is be willing.
Example four: I have fears and concerns, just as all spouses and parents do, about things that are far off in the future. I worry fitfully about my two young boys entering adolescence without the correct understanding of right and wrong, morality, respect, and so
on. I have suffocating concern that my daughter will have a poor understanding of what a man is supposed to be like in her life. And
I have a horrible nightmare that I will not be able to provide things that my wife wants that are perfectly reasonable wishes. But alcohol has so adversely affected how I perceive these things. It has brought these fears to the forefront and affected my actions. Living
this way makes life unmanageable. While decisions I make today will most certainly affect things years from now, it is much more
important to do the next right thing, rather than a thing that is an ill-conceived notion of some long-term benefit. Example: Reaming
my kid for not doing what I tell him, in hopes that one day he will listen to me when I tell him not to drink and drive, is certainly less
effective than setting a good example today of me not abusing alcohol right in front of him.
But the big kahuna of all examples of how my life has become unmanageable due to alcohol has to do with spirituality. I have
bounced around in various churches through out adulthood, but my headstrong personality coupled with alcoholism has made me
look at spirituality as unnecessary or even sometimes a chore. I have been too “busy” for God. As my alcoholism has worsened I
have drifted farther and farther away from my spirituality. I had it once, when I was about 14 (I know, imagine that, look what I
started a year later). Alcohol numbed my ability to feel the serenity that spirituality brings to the human condition. It was as though I
had forgotten how to believe. What is so amazing is how obvious it is that God was right there in front of me, just waiting for me to
let him begin healing me. Living life without God is absolutely unmanageable.
Reprinted from the Grapevine, January 2012, Lee T., Dawsonville, Ga.
Meeting Times and Notices
The next Intergroup meeting will be
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Ph. 302-655-5113
Northern Delaware Intergroup meetings are held the first Wednesday
of every month at 7:00 pm at St. Marks Lutheran Church, 501
Duncan Road (off Philadelphia Pike, Bellefonte), Wilmington,
DE 19809. All members of Alcoholics Anonymous are welcome.
If you have any information on changes
to meetings, either old or new, please
let the Intergroup office know.
2
AA NEWS
JANUARY 2013
ANNIVERSARY CLUB
Barbara K.
Barbara W.
Becky R. F. 1/19/95
Betsy B. 10/01/00
Betty R.
Beverly F. 09/02/89
Bill C. 05/02/78
Bill D.
Bill F. 8/20/88
Bill W. 07/04/88
Bob A. 7/9/90
Bob M. 1/17/83
Brenda A. 2/23/85
Candice M.
Carel B. 4/26/04
Carol V.
Carolyn W. 7/15/82
Cathy G.
Charles K.
Christopher K. 11/03
Cindy H.
Connie H.
Dale C. 11/27/89
David C. 2/1/94
David G. 7/6/99
David F. 11/23/07
David K. 12/03/72
David M. 05/1964
Debbie G.
Debbie H. 03/16/91
Debbie H. 04/02/74
Diane B.
Don B.
Don F.
Doris S. 04/80
Doug W. 2/28/91
Ed B.
Ed H. 01/28/96
Elizabeth A.
Floyd P.
Frances O.
Franny C. 05/07/96
Frank S.
Gail R. 06/04/92
Gene D.
Gene O.
George S.
Helen W.
Harry B.
Hugh W.
Jaime B. 08/08/04
Jackie F.
Janice O.
Janice S. 12/25/2010
Jason B. 4/20/09
Jean R.
Jim S. 04/10/88
Joan S.
Joe W.
John R.
Johnny Boy B.
John S.
Kara G. 11/8/12
Kathy O. 6/11/97
Ken H. 11/4/97
Ken P. 09/20/83
Kerry O. 04/20/08
Larry
Laura R. 6/21/95
Leah S.
Len K. date?
Lisa A.
Liza F. 1/20/05
Maria G
Marilyn M. 06/26/99
Marylyn V.W.
Marie R. 9/6/83
Mary Ellen S. 1/24/10
Mary J.
Maryann D.
Matt S.
Melissa S. 06/23/08
Mike M. 4/20/91
Mike N.
Moe McK. 06/02/93
Nancy V. 2/21/05
Nell K.
Patricia K. 12/17/87
Patsy M. 1/6/88
Pat J.
Phyllis M. 03/09/88
Rob S.
Rob K.
Sande R.
Shirley U. 3/19/76
Stanley B. 03/05/79
Stacy V.
Susan N.
Suzanne M.04/04
Tenney W. 5/15/1982
Thomas B.
Tom H. 07/02/04
Tom McD. 01/16/96
Toni S.
Tricia B.
Valerie S. 2/3/89
Walt A. 01/94
Walt M.
Wayne S.
Wes J. 4/21/75
Wes M. 2/1/94
William M.
Wilson S.
If you or other members of your group have reached an anniversary milestone. Please call or email the
information to the Intergroup office, or to the [email protected] so that we can let other A.A.
members know of this important achievement. (We will eliminate names that are not up-to-date after1/01/2014.)
Celebrate your anniversary with an act of gratitude that will help Northern Delaware Intergroup continue to carry to the
still suffering alcoholic a message. The idea is to make a
Anniversary Club Contribution Card
commitment to send N.D.I. a dollar (or whatever you can
afford) for every year sober on your anniversary.
Sobriety Date
Home Group
To register, just fill out the form on the right and together
with a check, mail to: Northern Delaware Intergroup
Name
Suite 21 B Trolley Square
Wilmington, Delaware 19806
Contribution
3
AA NEWS
JANUARY 2013
Coming sometime in
March 2014
Spring Family Breakfast
Details for the event will be
announced in the near future
along with the NDIAA other
scheduled events.
4
AA NEWS
JANUARY 2013
CONTRIBUTIONS in 2013 to Northern Delaware Intergroup
GROUP NAME 2013
3-7-11 Group
AA Basics
Alone Together Group
Andrew Watson
Anonymous Donations
Anonymous Group
Arden Group
As Bill Sees It
Augustine Group
Back to Basic Big Book Group
Basic 12 Steps
Basic Big Book
BeeBee Hospital Group
Beginners Freedom Group
Bellefonte Group
Big Book Group
Blue Rocks Group
Bowling Green Youg People
Brandywine Open God Step Group
Brandywine Springs Group
Brooklyn Terrace
BYOBB
Canby Park
Carry The Message Friday Night
Cedars Tuesday Night
Chadds Ford group
Chichester Step Group
Christ Church Group
Conscious Contact
Claymont Group
Courage to Change
Dawn Patrol
DECCYPAA
Delaware City Group
Diamonds & Pearls Group
Displaced Park Place Group
Doorkeepers
Downtowner's Group
Dusting Off The Big Book
Early Risers
Esh Group - Newark
ESH Group - Wilm.
Eye Opener
Fairfax Speaker Meeting
Fighting for Hope
First Stop Friday
First Stop Wednesday
First Things First Group
Five Alive Group
Freedom Group
Fresh air Group
Friday Night Big Book
Friendship House
G.O.Y.A.
Glasgow Pines
Greenhill Beginners
Greenhill Open Step Group
Greenwood Group
Growing and Learning
Growth Group
Happy Hour Group
Hockessin Women’s
Holloway Terrace Group
How It Works Group
Hudson Center
IGM Basket
In Bills Steps
Into Action
Just Do It
Just for Today
Keep it Green
Keep it Simple Newark
YTD
$
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$
533.36
150.00
181.88
96.00
243.00
180.00
154.50
190.00
225.00
50.00
300.00
925.00
140.00
50.00
350.00
100.00
100.00
468.23
459.00
1,306.62
1,995.76
100.00
739.80
763.21
200.00
845.92
577.00
300.00
3,895.31
48.00
1,590.00
220.00
1,050.00
300.00
424.00
275.00
903.00
500.00
372.57
400.00
600.00
150.00
192.50
30.00
60.00
392.00
140.00
375.00
-
DECEMBER
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150.00
100.00
145.20
343.62
390.00
60.00
25.00
243.00
96.00
100.00
100.00
78.00
50.00
-
5
Keep it Simple, Wilmington
Kingswood Men’s
Ladies of Literature
Lamplighters
Landenburg Group
Last Stop Friday Group
Late For Dinner Group
Living In The Solution
Living Waters Group
Manor of Living Group
Member
Men of New Garden
Metroform
Middletown
Millennium Group
Naaman’s Step Group
New Castle Group
New Day Group
New Hope Group
New Life Group
Newark Group
Newport Group
No Excuses
Nooner at Middletown
North St. George's Group
Pace - Walt
Pacific Group
Pencader Group
Pike Creek Group
Pioneers Group
Prices Run Group
Raphael Group
Red Lion / Sat.
Red Lion Search for Serenity
Rush Hour
S.A.G.A.
S.O.S. Group
Saturday Solutions
Second Chance
Serenity for the Week
Serenity Seekers
Silver Fox
Silverbrook Group
Sisters in Serenity
Sober and Gay Group
Sojourners
Solutions
South College Speaker Group
Spirit of Truth
St. Andrews 102
St. Nicholas Group (Tues.)
Stepping Stones
Sunday Literature Meeting
Sunday Night Big Book
Sunrise Group
Today Group, Wilmington
Tuesday Big Book
Twelve & Twelve
Twelves Keys Group
Twelve Keys to Freedom
Twelve Steps Group
Under 35 Group
Upper Room Group
US Group
Vent-a-Laters
Vet's Hospital Group
Wed Night Beginners
Welcome Group
Wilmington Group
Women's Friday Morning
Women's Sober Hour
Yorklyn Diner Groups
Zion Tuesday
TOTALS
$
$ 1,400.00
$
180.00
$
600.00
$
108.00
$
36.00
$
420.00
$
225.50
$
$
$
7.95
$
537.19
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$
320.00
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$
871.50
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300.00
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50.00
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320.00
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232.00
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540.00
$
525.00
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450.00
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$
114.00
$
580.09
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60.00
$
810.26
$
894.00
$
200.50
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100.00
$
240.00
$
215.00
$
117.77
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$
200.00
$
$ 1,089.19
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600.00
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125.00
$
154.50
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250.00
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$
271.20
$
70.00
$
360.00
$
160.00
$
39.28
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$
489.60
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$
410.00
$
$
22.00
$
381.20
$
200.00
$
516.00
$
467.93
$ 1,800.00
$
5.00
$ 41,707.32
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7.95
50.00
90.00
212.26
200.00
30.00
42.50
2,513.53
AA NEWS
JANUARY 2013
INSTITUTIONAL COMMITMENTS FOR THE MONTH OF JANUARY
INSTITUTION
DAY
TIME
HOME GROUP
CONTACT
SATURDAY
8:00 PM
Eye Openers
Eileen
WEDNESDAY
6:00 PM
Womens Sober Hour
Kathy
GATEWAY (formerly RCD)
MONDAY
7:30 PM
No Excuses
Anthony
GATEWAY (formerly RCD)
WEDNESDAY
7:30 PM
Serenity For the Week
Lisa H.
MONDAY
7:00 PM
Early Risers
Sharon
WEDNESDAY
6:15 PM
Alone Together
Kat
KIRKWOOD DETOX
SUNDAY
8:00 PM
Keep It Simple
Claudie
KIRKWOOD DETOX
MONDAY
8:00 PM
Just For Today
Stephanie
KIRKWOOD DETOX
WEDNESDAY
8:00 PM
Just Do It
Dave W.
KIRKWOOD DETOX
FRIDAY
8:00 PM
Augustine
Colin
KIRKWOOD DETOX
SATURDAY
8:00 PM
Newark
Mike
**MARY MOTHER of HOPE (women)
THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Doorkeepers
Ellen
*MEADOW WOOD
MONDAY
8:00 PM
Dawn Patrol
Andrew
*MEADOW WOOD
TUESDAY
8:00 PM
South College Speaker
Coutland
*MEADOW WOOD
SATURDAY
8:00 PM
Pike Creek
Lynn
*MEADOW WOOD
SUNDAY
8:00 PM
GOYA
Tony
*ROCKFORD CENTER (Adult)
TUESDAY
7:00 PM
ESH Wilmington
Jamie
*ROCKFORD CENTER (Adolescent)
WEDNESDAY
7:00 PM
Courage To Change
Dave C.
*ROCKFORD CENTER (Adolescent)
WEDNESDAY
7:00 PM
Greenhill Monday
Greg
THURSDAY
7:00 PM
New Day
Aaron
*WILMINGTON HOSPITAL
TUESDAY
7:00 PM
Silverbrook Men
RJ
*WILMINGTON HOSPITAL
SATURDAY
7:00 PM
Yorklyn Diner
Johnny
CORNERSTONE
CROSSROADS
GAUDENZIA
INTERGROUP MONTHLY MEETING
*ROCKFORD CENTER (Adult)
Questions? Call 302-655-5113 Intergroup Office
Note: * These Institutions have requested a confirmation call of a meeting on the day of the commitment. Please call your Intergroup Rep.
Note: **The Mary Mother of Hope commitment is only on 2nd and 4th week of the month.
6
Note: 7:30 start time
AA NEWS
JANUARY 2013
Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our
lives had become unmanageable.
Tradition One
Our common welfare comes first; personal recovery
depends upon A.A. unity.
Members of Alcoholics Anonymous make a point of carrying the message about their own recovery in AA on a person-to-person basis — but never disclose the membership of others. In
this way, they may serve as examples of recovery and thus stimulate active alcoholics to seek
help.
In public media, however — such as TV, radio, films, and the press ( and also the Internet) — A.A.
Traditions urge members to maintain strict anonymity, for three reasons:
1. We have learned from our own experience that the active alcoholic will shun any source of help
which might reveal his or her identity.
2. Past events indicate that those alcoholics who seek public recognition as A.A. members may drink
again.
3. Public attention and publicity for individual members of A.A. would invite self-serving competition
and conflict over differing personal views.
Anonymity in public media guards the unity of A.A. members and preserves the attraction of the program for the millions who still need help.
Let us know what’s going on.
•Anniversaries
•Special Events
•Meeting Changes
• Experience, Strength, and
Hope Messages
You write it, and we will print it.
Alcoholism: If the cure works,
chances are, you have
the disease.
For an additional articles on the Steps ,
visit the Grapevine website at
www.aagrapevine.org
7
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