the valley sunrise - Clayton Valley Concord Sunrise Rotary Club

THE VALLEY
SUNRISE
-------------- January 23, 2014 ------------Award-Winning Newsletter for THREE CONSECUTIVE years (2010-2013)
Photographer:
Reporter:
Editor:
Rotary Int’l President:
District 5160 Governor:
CVCS President:
Clayton Worsdell
Steve Weir
Mureleen Benton
Ron Burton, Oklahoma
Steve Lack, Pleasant Hill
Bill Fuller
HOW IT STARTED
Cap'n Bill called the meeting to orde"arrr" and asked Tommy Wolf to
lead us in the pledge.
Cap'n Bill gave us the thought for the day involving "Service".
GUESTS
Michael Barrington of the Concord Club was visiting, and it was noted that he's heavily
involved with international projects.
Guests included speaker Doug Davis, Erin James and daughter Maggie as introduced by Dave
Kemnitz. Dave noted that we now have a 50/50 Klunker partnership with Highland Elementary.
Erin is our contact person there. Dave mentioned Shelley's Volvo brought in about $1200. He
then presented a check to Erin for their 50/50 car, check was about $450.
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He then told us of his employee, Joe Garcia,
donated his 1998 Dodge Ram that fetched about
$2,100! Thanks to Dave and Joe for their personal
commitment to our Klunker program!
Dave also mentioned that CoParts is adding 5000
bidders per day to their program. He then
mentioned that we are having a presentation
meeting for the Martinez Club on March 5th, and they already have two
cars to donate!
JOKES
Under Jokes, Miles had a golf joke, then Cap'n Bill added a golf joke, followed by Don Ouimet
who did not have a golf joke.
BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES
For celebrations, Barrie Johnston celebrated his
birthday with "A Hooy".
Irene Davids-Blair celebrated her club
anniversary (#5).
HAPPY BUCKS________________________
Happy bucks were flowing from; Bob Huck for
Peyton Manning, he had his Manning Doll present
(seems Bob is a Denver man);
Tommy Wolf for a presentation to a church on his
profession,
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(Editor’s note: Picture on the left appears someone
felt the presence of the Lord and was giving
thanks.)
newest member Joan D'Onofrio for Kyra Ortiz'
helping out with an art exposition at Clayton Valley
Charter High School in March;
Ben for his 49ers; (Ed. Note: Lousy officiating!)
Chris for selling raffle tickets for the women's
soccer program at CVCHS;
Bill Selb for his trip with Emily for 15 wineries in
two days;
Julia for Jordan's 10 gas money (car was stolen);
for Ken's presentation to the Concord Wednesday
Club on foundation giving.
Ken Nishimori was rewarded by the Pres. by being
asked to recite the Four Way Test, which he nailed.
We also learned that Chris Ruzicka was our secret
greeter.
CLUB STUFF_____________
It was noted that Michael Barrington is working with the Mt. Diablo Rotary Clubs (formally
the DV8) on a water project in Central America. He mentioned that he is working with NGO's to
do two gravity feed water projects and that they are doing away with the Ducky Derby and
instead, are exploring a telemarketing program where members will call other Rotary Club
members across the US to make donations. The goal is to generate $100,000.
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Richard Lueck reminded us that those interested in the San Felipe
Cancer Walk are invited to travel there February 19th thru Feb. 23 with
the walk taking place on the 22nd. They are making accommodations at
the El Cortez Hotel. If you are participating, walk or no walk, please get
your paper work in soon.
It was also announced that there is a Chamber/ Concord Rotary Club
Mixer on Thursday, February 6th at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. A call of
hands showed that 15 members were interested in attending.
We also learned that our very own Irene will be attending PETS on March 6th, 2014.
The Charitable Board Meeting was mentioned and that if members have requests, they need to
make them in writing.
Maryann Moser mentioned that the Rotary International President will
be speaking in Sacramento.
Miles announced that our golf tournament will be
August 11th. Tee sponsors, event sponsors, and
golfers are wanted. We're doing the fundraising in
conjunction with the We Care Autism Program.
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Seems that the DV8 (Diablo Valley Clubs) will have an opportunity to hear Mark DeSaulnier on
March 5th at the Crowne Plaza Hotel.
Bob Huck announced that the Home Team has 5 people signed up for a
one-half day program. The Board okayed up to $900 for the Home Team
for out-of-pocket expenses.
Chris mentioned that Concord was awarded a grant
to plant trees and that on February 15, volunteers are
being asked to help plant 50 trees at the Daniel E
Boatwright Soccer Fields.
Bill Selb reminded us that Clayton is the ONLY city
in the county that does not have service club placards
at the city entrance and that Julie Pierce (who attended last week) agrees
to allow such a placement, but that we have to come up with the placard.
Bill wants someone to head up this endeavor.
This is Bill’s serious face!
NEW MEMBER INDUCTION CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK
New member Joan D'Onofrio was given three minutes for a self
introduction. She mentioned that she came up with her Arts Foundation
for the public schools in Contra Costa four year ago. She grew up in
upstate New York, and was the first in her family to go to college, the
Pratt Institute in Brooklyn. She was married for 38 years, and spent a
career (36 years) in publishing. She ran four "Curves" exercise clubs.
She mentioned that she is sponsoring the Clayton Valley Art Exposition
including North Gate and Concord High Schools, as well as El Dorado
Middle School. She is looking for assistance with funding her program.
A GAME TO ENJOY
We then enjoyed the Pirates Game, involving professions that are represented in the Club (the
theme being, know and use the services of fellow club members.
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SPEAKER
Ben Wentling introduced our speaker, Doug Davis. He started out with our fourth joke of the
day; "Why did the turtle cross the road? Answer, to visit the shell station"!
Doug's program involved converting atmospheric humidity to drinking water. He mentioned
that this is a program that is good in a crisis, but it must be in place before the crisis. He made a
good presentation and mentioned that fully amortized, his home and industrial units can produce
a gallon of water for about twenty cents. The speaker's book that will be donated to the Clayton
Library was "The San Francisco Giants."
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MARBLE DRAW & 20/50 DRAWING________________
Fred Nelson won the 20/50 drawing,
Miles had his ticket drawn for the raffle ($174) with three marbles and he drew a bottle of wine.
FOOD BANK VOLUNTEERS
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What Is Butt Dust?
What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original
and genuine. No adult is this creative!!
JACK (age 3)
was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister... After a while he asked: 'Mom why
have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk? '
STEVEN (age 3)
hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury
you outside my bedroom window.'
BRITTANY (age 4)
had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her
frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes
wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'
SUSAN (age 4)
was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It
makes my teeth cough..'
DJ (age 4)
stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what was troubling
him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit
in it?'
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MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant.
Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'
TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom
knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to
take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned,
James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'
Kids say the darndest things.....
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget...
And finally the answer to the question:
This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward
heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have
continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and
asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'
A LITTLE POEM
Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter,
And winter seems much colder.
There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About "living in the Past."
We used to go to weddings,
Football games and lunches ...
Now we go to funeral homes
And after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers
From parties that were gay;
Now we suffer body aches
And while the night away.
We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill;
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.
We used to often travel
To places near and far;
Now we get sore asses
From riding in the car.
We used to go to nightclubs
And drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night
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And watch the evening news.
That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up ...
Before you're too damned old!
"I give everybody the same breaks I give to myself. It's so easy to say that I did my best; that I'm a work
in progress; that I'm working to forgive myself and ...improve myself. It's a hell of a lot harder to do this for
others, but I decided I was going to do it, and it's saved me; it has greatly changed my life. I think that life
is only tolerable if we realize that we are all in this mad drama together--to help and to support each
other. And love is so much easier than we realized, especially once we no longer expect any kind of
reward for sharing it. The prize is the love. Let everything go--the grudges, the regrets, the blaming, the
trying to figure out what went wrong thirty years ago, two weeks ago. Move forward with love and with
others you've decided to love and craft the better, future life." --Elizabeth Taylor/Interview with James
Grissom/1991/Photograph of Taylor taken by Neal Preston at an AIDS benefit in 1986/
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India celebrates three years without polio
Throughout India and around the world, Rotary clubs are celebrating a major milestone: India has gone
three years without a new case of polio.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Stephen Harper: Let me be perfectly clear. I did not know about the chicken, I did not know about the
road. If I had been made aware of them, I would certainly have taken appropriate action and prevented
the chicken from crossing the road. The culprits responsible for the chicken crossing the road are being
investigated by the RCMP.
Thomas Mulcair: If the Prime Minister didn’t know about the chicken, and he didn’t know about the road,
how did he know that the chicken had any intention of crossing the road?
Justin Trudeau: The chicken crossed the road because the other side had legalized marijuana.
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Rob Ford: That video of me snorting that chicken does not exist, and I’ve only crossed that road in a
drunken stupor.
Sarah Palin: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
Barack Obama: Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The
chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in!
Hillary Clinton: When I was Secretary of State, I travelled that road thousands of times, and I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road each time. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road. But then, this really isn't about me.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle
ground here.
Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?
Colin Powell: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing
the road.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
Al Gore: I invented the chicken.
Al Sharpton: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that it must first deal with the
problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we
need to do is help it realize how stupid it's acting by not taking on its current problems before adding new
problems.
Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road
so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like
the rest of the chickens.
Anderson Cooper, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.
Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way
he walks.
Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order
at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me
any insider information.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the
road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain, alone.
Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it
the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
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I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough.
Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013.
This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?
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