cougar - Cherise Henry Co.

pop culture
42
february >> 2013
Cougars,
Pumas, and
Jaguars — !
y
M
h
O
BY // CHERISE HENRY
PHOTOS BY // GENA ROMA PHOTOGRAPHY
bonnie magazine
{sacramento’s lifestyle magazine for women}
While the term “cougar” is relatively new, the lifestyle is not.
Catherine the Great held reign
over Russia in the 1700s along
with successful conquests in love
that ended with a man 40 years
younger.
We all remember Mrs. Robinson in the classic 1960s film The
Graduate. Her elongated legs,
leopard-print coats, and satirical
sexiness made Mrs. Robinson an
icon for the modern cougar.
And how can we not mention
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
whose relationship sparked a
new era of trendsetters agreeing
that an older woman + younger
man = sexy.
Nowadays, there are a plethora of cougar dating websites,
cougar-only cruises and cougar
how-to books. Self-proclaimed
cougars gathered for the firstever Cougar Convention just a
few years ago. Who knew?!
Question is, does this image
of a savvy older woman on the
prowl for a younger man promote
a positive or negative view of
women and sexuality? Or perhaps is this another example of
gender bias since no equivalent
term for males who date younger
females exists?
Shelby, a local Sacramento
cougar says she actually dislikes
the term. “It sounds like a woman
attacking something. I never have
to prowl or attack the younger
men,” says Shelby. “It is almost
like flies on sugar how they just
seem to circle and swarm around
us older women.”
While some may claim that the
term cougar is overtly derogatory
and cougar behavior reveals a
sense of desperation, others view
being a cougar as a source of
self-empowerment in which women
reclaim the dating scene and prove
once again that they’re still alluring.
“The truth is that more often
than not, it’s the younger men
who are doing the chasing,” said
Lucia, a well-known cougar dating expert and spokesperson for
The Cougar Club based in Los
Angeles. “Cougars are attractive, classy, healthy, and talented
older women… they are far from
desperate.”
Women today are commanding
a movement to change the label’s
connotation. And instead wear
it like a badge of honor. Nearly
three out of four women say they
february >> 2013
43
Once simply a nickname for the mountain lion,
“cougar” has become a buzzword for confident,
attractive, and successful middle-aged women
who have a particular interest in younger men.
Models: Shelby and Anthony Walker
Photography: Gena Roma Photography
Location: The Park Ultra Lounge,
Sacramento
Art Direction: Gena Salonga
Sacramento area
Shelby enjoying herself at the
Park Ultra Lounge with new
friend Anthony Walker.
cougar-cub
popular hangouts
>>Back Door Lounge
1112 Firehouse Alley
Sacramento, CA 95814
(916) 442-5751
>>Zebra Club
www.zebraclubbarservice.com
1900 P Street
Sacramento, CA 95811
(916) 442-3972
>>The Park Ultra Lounge
www.theparkdowntown.com
1116 15th Street
Sacramento, CA 95814
(916) 442-7222
>>Crush 29
Crush29.com
1480 Eureka Road
Roseville, CA 95661
(916) 773-2929
>>Powerhouse Pub
www.powerhousepub.com
614 Sutter Street
Folsom, CA 95630
(916) 355-8586
>>Reunion
www.reunion-nightclub.com
4370 Town Center Boulevard Ste 100
El Dorado Hills, CA 95762
(916) 939-0777
Arbitrary definitions
of various stages
of the “cougar,”
here we go:
>>Jaguar
50+ years-old; tend to be financially stable
and are generally only looking for sexual
relations from their twenty to thirty-something prey.
>>Cougar
40 – 49-years-old who tend to be independent,
well-presented and sophisticated; known to
be on the prowl for a much younger, energetic,
willing-to-do-anything male.
>>Puma (aka pre-cougars)
30 – 39-years-old enjoying sexual prime; hold
characteristics of cougars but are not yet old
enough to claim title.
would not be offended if they were
labeled a cougar. 75 percent of
women fess up to having dated a
younger man, with 27 percent of
women said to have dated a man
10 – 20 years younger.
So, is it just about the sex? Sure
it’s known that younger men want
sex–a lot of sex–and older women
reach their sexual peak in their 40s.
Interestingly enough, from the male
perspective, around 85 percent
of men say it is becoming more
socially acceptable to date, not
just sleep with, an older woman.
Over half of men agree that dating an older woman is enticing
because she may expect less than
a younger woman.
Matt, a 34-year-old Sacramento
“cub” who only dates women over
40, says the sexual aspect of the
relationship with a younger man
seems more appealing to women.
“There is more spontaneity nowa-days with this kind of younger
man, older woman relationship,”
says Matt. “I think it also makes the
woman feel more empowered.”
Not only has the stigma changed
over the years, but also the definition of the cougar-cub relationship.
Sex-only affairs have gone by the
wayside and are now more acceptable for younger men and older
women to think long-term rather
than just another quickie.
Shelby says the biggest turn-on
for younger men is the confidence,
mature personality, and life experiences that older women hold.
Younger men also like the idea
of being with a woman who isn’t
looking for someone to pave their
way. She says older women are
usually financially established and
set within their careers, and know
what they want and go after it with
or without a man.
“Younger men can focus on fun,
sex, and living, while working on
their career,” says Shelby. “The
breadwinner burden is lifted and
they see it’s OK to fit into an older
woman’s established life without
ridicule from family and friends.”
From where we stand, Sacramento is full of gorgeous, confident, and successful women…
of all ages. If taking a previously
disapproving label of women and
flipping it to represent what we,
as women, want it to represent…
more power to us. And if older
women want to date younger men
through a mutually beneficial relationship (sexual or long-term), then
who are we to say otherwise?
Well, here’s to you Mrs. Robinson!
b
{sacramento’s lifestyle magazine for women}
bonnie magazine