Baptism: Family Matters - Ballyholme Parish Church

St Columbanus
Ballyholme
Baptism: Family Matters
The birth of a child is a cause for joy and
celebration to be shared by the whole Church. At
St Columbanus we long to welcome new children
to be part of the regular life and worship of our
Christian family. We love to see babes in arms
being brought to Church Sunday by Sunday –
and they are welcome however much noise they
make!
The sheer physical effort of getting a family up
and out each week is not lost on us. The first
couple of years can be extremely trying and we
don’t under-estimate the stress there can be in
making it along to Church on Sunday mornings.
We are currently looking for practical ways to
make this easier for you as parents. In the
meantime, we are so glad you have decided to
ask for God’s blessing on your child and this
booklet explains what we can offer you. Your
enquiries are always welcome, whatever your
personal situation and they are best initiated with
the clergy on your way out of Church on Sunday.
It is you we would rather talk to by the way rather
than well-meaning grandparents or
other relatives. Please don’t be shy!
What is Baptism - with integrity?
A child is in every sense a miracle of God’s creation and it is right that we want to celebrate such a
wonderful gift. The mission of the Church in obedience to Christ is and always has been to make
disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
For the Baptism of infant children to have any integrity, it is essential that at least one parent be a
regular worshipping Churchgoer and able as such to keep their promise to bring their child up in
the Christian faith. The onus is very much on Mums and Dads. Obviously where parents have not
demonstrated the necessary commitment, in other words where they have made no genuine effort
to be faithful in worship, to proceed with Baptism under such circumstances would be meaningless.
While most people have their own idea of what they think Let the children come to me presenting
their child for Baptism signifies, our Church lays out its understanding in quite specific
terms.
Let the children come to me
1
The word Baptism comes from a Greek word meaning ‘dip’, ‘immerse’, ‘submerge’ or ‘wash’. The
picture is of someone being made clean or having their sins washed away and receiving God’s
forgiveness. Whether this is done in a river, in a pool or at the font in a Church makes no
difference (font is the Old English word for fountain). The point is, water is used in the name of the
Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Jesus was brought by his parents to the Temple as a newborn baby. In that spirit, from its earliest
post New Testament days the Church has been happy to baptize children on the basis of Christ’s
command to let the children come to him.
According to the Scriptures whole households
were baptized together, and since none of us can
ever be ‘worthy’ of the Sacrament there is little
argument, as we see it, to impose any arbitrary
limits in terms of age. The children of believing
parents have a special place in the economy of
God, it’s as simple and beautiful as that. Before
the start of his public ministry Jesus Christ was
himself baptized by John in the River Jordan.
In receiving Baptism Jesus identified himself as
fully human – and as Christ emerged from the
water again, the voice of God identified him as
fully divine. This mystery of humanity and divinity
goes to the heart of who the Church believes
Jesus to be. In Baptism, Christ brings us to the
Father and does for us what we cannot do for
ourselves. Everyone needs forgiveness and the
basic teaching of Christianity is that God’s love
for us led Jesus to the cross to bear
our sins. Baptism calls us to admit our need
of forgiveness and through the deep waters of
Christ’s death to receive God’s washing and
setting free for ourselves.
Like Holy Communion, Holy Baptism is a Sacrament:
an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual
grace. Throughout the New Testament two things are
required of those wishing to be baptized: faith and
repentance. Of course a baby cannot experience faith
and repentance in the way that an adult can. This
makes the faith and repentance of the parents and
godparents absolutely critical. Children are baptized
on the express understanding that their parents – as
regular, worshipping Christians – will nurture those
in their care in the faith until they come to believe in
Christ for themselves.
In the end, belief is a personal choice. It certainly isn’t
instilled by coercion or brow-beating. Yet the clear
premise of infant Baptism is that believing parents
will witness what they believe to their children. It is
not enough that parents leave the job of Christian
witnessing to what might be picked up in Church or in
Children’s Church. While obviously we hope this will
be of value in itself, it’s what Mum and Dad witness to
at home that’s paramount.
2
A child who is not baptized is not in any kind of spiritual danger. Most people in most churches
don’t think like that any more. Baptism is not ‘magic’. It is not a superstitious matter of ‘getting the
child done’, just in case anything terrible should happen to him or her. What sort of God would hold
it against a child that it had not some water splashed on its
head? Not the sort of God most of us would want to worship,
that’s for sure.
Baptism is no longer seen as some kind of spiritual insulation
or insurance policy. But a grounding in faith, worship and
prayer in the early years is, we believe, the best of all starts
for children. To do without that, is surely a far greater loss than
parents not standing up in church to make empty promises.
In effect, Baptism is a lifestyle choice. It involves parents
and godparents making a direct, public promise that they are
going to bring their children regularly to Church and Children’s
Church. In Ballyholme parents also sign a simple Promise
Form to this effect so they are making a personal written
undertaking as well as an oral one before God and the people
of God.
The list of FAQ’s which follows may shed some more light on
things for you. It might also help for you to take a closer look
at the Baptism services in the green Book of Common Prayer
on page 358.
3
Will our child be baptized ‘Church of Ireland’?
Baptism is in no sense denominational. All the mainstream churches including the Roman Catholic
Church now recognise one another’s Baptism. It has never been clearer than it is today that a child
is baptized into the Church of God, not exclusively the Church of Ireland or any other Church.
A ‘Christian’ upbringing
A Christian upbringing is more than a matter of personal faith or individual believing. It involves:
praying with your child and showing them how to pray, going to Church as a family, teaching
children from the Bible (and later teaching them to read the Bible for themselves) and, perhaps
above all, demonstrating what it means to live the Christian way of love, compassion and service.
Undoubtedly this kind of upbringing will cost you something in effort and energy – especially
on Sunday mornings! Baptism will give your child a good start in life but it’s a start which must
continue with a Christian upbringing otherwise it is a start of nothing. Ask yourself which seems
more honest: making the promises with no intention of seeing them through or deciding the
commitment Baptism involves really isn’t what you want to get into?
Please also bear in mind that promising to come to Church will not make doing so easy. It may well
involve you re-planning the way you spend your Sunday or indeed your whole weekend. You will
have less time to cook the lunch, wash the car and cut the grass – though under God still enough!
You will see on a Sunday morning at St Columbanus that many families just like you are choosing
to make a real priority of Sunday space for God each week.
Must we go to Church?
That’s certainly what you promise to do in the Baptism service: to help your child ‘take his or her
place within the life and worship of Christ’s Church’. By all means bring your children along to one
or other of our weekly youth organisations or to our Easter or summer holiday programme but this
is not directly what you are undertaking to do. Parents promise not only to teach their children to go
to Church and Children’s Church but to set
them an example by going to Church
themselves. All they can do after that is
to pray that the example they set will be
followed by their children. At times it will
take a real battle to get the family out to
Church and there are some weeks when
with the best will in the world it just won’t
happen. But if you have no intention of even
trying it is probably better that your child
should be allowed to choose for themselves
about Baptism later on in their lives. People
can be baptized at any age.
4
Crèche
As you know, everything connected with children these days is subject to the most stringent
requirements and regulations. At times these safeguards can seem over the top but they are all
in the interests of protecting
our children. Where the rules
really bear down on us is in
the whole area of ratios: for
every set number of children
a corresponding number of
suitably checked and trained
adult leaders is required.
In short, this means that to
ensure our crèche can run to
its fullest possible capacity we
now ask all parents bringing
children for Baptism to take
their turn on the crèche rota
and to complete the paper
work for an official clearance.
Your co-operation with this
is much appreciated and the
clergy will bring the relevant
forms when they call to talk
you through the service.
Choosing Godparents
This is a tough one because they take on a great responsibility. Both parents and Godparents
promise to see that the child is brought up in the life of the Church, and in their own time
commits his or her life to Christ, receives Confirmation (the laying on of hands by the Bishop
when they make the Baptism promises their own) and learns to play his or her full part in Christ’s
family. For every child brought for Baptism there must be two or more Godparents. Two God
mothers or God fathers is perfectly acceptable and they may be either friends or members of
your extended family. The only Church of Ireland condition is that they must themselves be
baptized. Godparents do not need to be members of the Church of Ireland but, because they are
required to be baptized, members of other non-Christian religions may not stand as Godparents.
Certainly they may stand as Sponsors, but baptized Godparents will also be required. Godparents
are not legal guardians but they are chosen to share in the responsibility of your child’s spiritual
formation. Arguably the greatest responsibility of a Godparent is to pray for their Godchild
every day so at the very least you want to choose a person whom you know for certain says their
prayers.
Baptism Preparation
A member of the clergy will arrange to meet with you in the run up to the service. Ideally both
parents will be present for this and if the Godparents want to be there too, all the better.
This is the point where the Promise Form is completed and where the simple practicalities of
the service itself are explained so that everyone knows more or less what to do on the day.
Sometimes parents who are new to Church or rediscovering their faith want to re-visit the
basics of Christian belief for themselves. The parish clergy will be happy to help with this and
will be glad to receive any such enquiries from people wishing to explore afresh the claims of
Christianity or to make some sort of new personal spiritual commitment.
5
What if we’re new to St Columbanus?
We were all new to St Columbanus once upon a time! For many people bringing a child for Baptism
can be a way back into the spiritual life of the parish, a time of seeing the value of faith in a fresh
way and of acknowledging what was
good and true in the values of Christ
imparted by well‑intentioned parents
the generation before. Also, many new
families join us as members at the point
when their first child is born and we are
delighted to welcome them. All we ask
is that a reasonable pattern of regular
worship be established over a period of
months.
Fixing a date
We realise that families and friends are often travelling a long way to share in these special
occasions. Since all our Baptisms take place during Church on a Sunday (private Baptisms are
only conducted in emergencies) the frequency of Baptisms in Ballyholme means that we simply
must space them out to give balance to our Sunday worship programme. This means that your
preferred date may not always be workable so please speak to the clergy before setting your
hearts on a date that may suit you and your family but simply may not be possible for us. Baptism
is rightly seen as a special gift for families who do their best to be committed to Christ and His
Church. It is never a right to be demanded for its own sake and we would ask that a new family
respect the sanctity of what they are asking for. Undue haste can give the impression that a family
has no real plan to commit in the way that Christian Baptism requires them to. In these days of
scattered families dates are often agreed four or five months ahead or sometimes even longer.
Is there any charge or fee?
No. The gift of grace conferred by Baptism is freely given by God and must be freely received by
us. Accordingly there are absolutely no fees for Baptisms at Ballyholme. As with Weddings and
Funerals, since Baptism is for those who belong to the parish as members and give regularly to
our running costs anyway, the clergy would ask not to be offered any ‘payment’ for conducting the
service.
Tea and coffee after the service
Coffee and tea are always served after the 10 o’clock service in the Parish Centre.
Please do join us and give the Church family an opportunity to coo over its newest members.
6
What if we don’t belong or live in another parish?
Normally, only parish families may bring children for Baptism in Ballyholme. In other words if you
are not yourselves members of the parish we will be glad to welcome you as new members! If you
live somewhere else and belong to another Church but for good reason wish to be baptized in
St Columbanus, perhaps because you have strong family ties to Ballyholme, you will be asked for a
letter from the church you attend locally to confirm (1) that you are committed members there, and
(2) that we have the permission of that minister for us to celebrate the Baptism in Ballyholme. (The
parish clergy will communicate with your minister once you give them details.) This is not just a
matter of professional courtesy between clergy but if you live somewhere else the Ballyholme staff
will not be in a position to offer follow-up pastoral care and help with the spiritual nurture of your
little ones. The rules which bind all Church of Ireland clergy do not give them general licence to
baptise anyone who does not live within the boundaries of their respective parishes.
What if we’re not comfortable with Infant Baptism?
Perhaps Infant Baptism was not part of your own family Church tradition. If you do not wish to have
your child baptized as an infant but you want to acknowledge God and seek his help in your child’s
upbringing we will be happy to offer you a service of Thanksgiving (see the green Book of Common
Prayer page 402). If you have strong family or personal links with Ballyholme you will see from the
introduction to the service that a Thanksgiving
service may also be appropriate when a child has
already been baptized elsewhere. A Thanksgiving
is a celebration to mark the birth and naming of
your child. We give thanks for his or her new life
and we commit both you and your child to God,
asking for his help and blessing in the years to
come. It’s a way in which parents can express
their gratitude for the birth of their child and where
the Church members present can welcome you
and promise to pray for you. Of course children
can always be baptized later on as well, when
you or when your child (once older and able to
understand the promises) wants this. Either way,
whether you opt for Baptism or, in good Christian conscience Thanksgiving, your child’s spiritual
‘status’ before God is the same.
Who do we speak to, to get things started?
The first thing to do is to introduce your new bundle of joy to the parish clergy on your way out of
Church some Sunday morning – it will make their day to meet them!
For all follow-up enquiries,
or to arrange a time to meet with a member of the clergy
please contact the Parish Office 02891 274912
To stay updated, keep checking the parish website
www.ballyholmeparish.co.uk
7
For the Children…
Crèche & Children’s Church
Sunday mornings during the 10 o’clock service
Our crèche is run by parents and meets in the Columbanus Room. Once children are part of a
playgroup they graduate to the youngest of our Children’s Church groups. Some places call it
Sunday School or Kids Club, we call it Children’s Church. Basically we’re talking about the teaching
we offer to our children during the weekly Sunday service at 10 o’clock. Starting off in church, the
children come out for a time of age friendly worship, games and craft all centred on the bible stories
of the day. There are currently three age groups: Bubbles, Splash and Ice, (based on the Scripture
Union resource we use) and the children learn more or less the same thing that is being taught in
‘Big Church’.
Parents & Toddlers
Thursdays 10.30am in the Parish Centre
Mums and Dad’s (or Grannies and Grandpas) can have a chat and a cup of coffee while the infants
and toddlers play at their feet. With plenty of toys to amuse the children and plenty of chat to
occupy the adults, we’re open to everyone but closed through the school holidays.
Jumpin’
Jumpin’ is our holiday bible club. It normally runs for a few days over the Easter break and for
a week in the summer. This is open to anyone of Primary School age and details are always
circulated a couple of months before each event.
Tuesdays 5pm in the Parish Centre
Rainbows are the youngest section of the Guide Association. Girls can start at age 4 and stay until
they are 7. Our meetings are held on Tuesday afternoons, during term-time.
The meetings are fun and we usually do craft one week and play games the next.
Fridays 6pm in the Parish Centre
As part of the Scouting Association, Squirrels are for the younger boys, aged 4-6 years old.
We encourage boys to join in and to share. We do crafts, play games and have various visitors
through the course of our annual programme.
Various children and youth organisations are independently run in our Parish Halls.
Please be aware that no preferential treatment is given to children from Ballyholme Parish.
Each group is over subscribed and therefore it is crucial that parents register their children early to
avoid disappointment.
For more information on any of the above please contact
The Parish Office - 91274912
8