Hash Scribe No. 654

JULY 4, 2015
HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
THE NO TIME TO DUCK, YOU GOTTA
RUN, RUN, RUN EDITION.
Quod Multum Quisquiliis
Last week’s Hash Trash was incredibly eye opening, heart wrenching and inspiring for me to read
as I learned more about the history of Samui Hash. The scribe did amazing amounts of research
for last week’s edition and tried to portray accuracy in what life is like and what is going on in Koh
Samui, every Saturday afternoon. It was fascinating, moving and very thought provoking for me. I
was very inspired by these characters who obviously live more passionately and purposefully,
standing up for what I believe in and cherish. I have ancestors from Samui so I also loved getting
to know more about my roots. I would love to travel to Koh Samui one day and see this "terrible
beauty" for myself!
!1
JULY 4, 2015
HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
The choice of the South Coast for a Hash is always
popular and when Ubergrupenfurher Tubby Twinkie
issued this week's command 41 "mensch " rushed to
the site following her meticulous directions, for who
could resist the siren call of the Flaxen haired Fräulein. I
have it on good authority that Angela Merkel called off
at the last minute due to some European financial
hiccups, her loss!! Only one small problem,when the
mob were gathered there was no sign of das Hare (very
much as there was rarely any sign of das Boat). We
shouldn't have concerned ourselves as this storm
trooper never lets the side down and at 2 minutes
before the kickoff. She tooled up, donned the wig and
read out the instructions to the assembly which
included a deputation of teachers from one of the best
of Samui's schools for the sons of gentle folk. They are
bringing a horde of their charges on Monday to a mock
run. Just as well it's not the real thing. That would set
their expensive education back by decades.
HARE
GM
RA
Venue
Hash Run
Hashers
Virgins
Tubbie Twinkie
Feral Flaps
Underdevelopment
Southern Shore
654
41
4
With promises of flat ground, dogs, buffalo, barbed wire
and some concrete ringing in our ears and a jaunty
spring in our step, the pack charged off leaving the
troika of the Red Slapper, Dancing Queen and the Lord
of the Manor to guard the goodies.
!2
JULY 4, 2015
HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
The trail was as promised, with TT on hand at numerous points to control the enthusiastic
participants. With a tad over the hour on the clock the Rambos returned in time to catch the
Tippling Trio hard at work diminishing Corkie's stocks of ice cold life saver. Some time later the
W**kers ambled into the laager site most of them having been too busy gas-bagging and losing
the paper.
Ferrel (Vegemite) Flaps allowed the strollers to finish their conversations and wet their whistles
before calling for disorder. A nervous TT awaited the vote trembling like a Greek politician, but
after comments the best result was delivered and not even current Crapper, Forest Dump put
his paw up for shit.
So without further ado Captain Birdseye hobbled in and many were the remarks regarding this
veteran's fitness. But no worries on that score as Clayfoot is on a regular regime of elbow
bending at GCHQ Boat Bar Bangrak. This is where devotees of temporarily exiled Grand Mufti,
General Nuisance gather in front of his portrait to offer salutations and prayers for his early
return. A wicked rumour has been circulated among the faithful that the General had left funds
behind the bar for his fans. But that myth was exploded when the barkeep showed His
Excellency's unpaid bar tab.
Meanwhile Dead Muffin charged Forbeskin with, among other things, possession of the fanciest
seat ever seen, reportably nicked from business class on Air Canadia. However in reality it was
designed and built by Chippendale descendants with some input from experts at IKEA. The
Hash Heroes had their game of beach footie interrupted by charges of running on the walkers
trail. Madam Dump was commended for Asping about something or other. Bin Runnin’ & No
Name Jeanie got dobbed by Piccalilli for walking on the runners trail when they only paid to do
the walkers trail. Shame on you both. The Grumpy Jock got to wear the skid lid after horizontal
contact with Mother Earth.
The Samui Witch threatened Forbeskin, Dyke Finger and Banana Bender with a clip round the
ear for something she dreamt up but Forby's butt was cooled instead.
The Cunuck’s led by the omni present Forbeskin then gave us a rousing version of the Star
Spangled Banner as it was Independence Day, forgetting they were all from north of the 49th
parallel.
Seaman Stains had legged it in his new charabang as he knew he was icebound and therefore
we were advised that next week 's Hash will be at the scene of his previous Hash Shit runs in
Bophut Hills.
Blue Lugs put out an announcement of Superscrann and cold ale, The Flapper asked for T. Shirt
designs for the 666, Tubby's eyes lit up. Social drinking was next on the agenda. And the
assorted photos I guess.
!3
JULY 4, 2015
HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
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HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
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HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
!6
JULY 4, 2015
HASH 654
TUBBIE TWINKIE
!7