Issue - University of Sydney Union

Transcription

08
12
17
28
32
POPPING PILLS
THE BEST THIEVES IN THE WORLD
SEX AFTER 60
SLEEPLESS STUDENTS
STAGE MUMS
KEEP CALM.
READ BULL.
IT WILL ALL
BE OVER SOON.
ISSUE 08, 2013
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ISSUE 08
CONTENTS
3
THE BEST THIEVES
IN THE WORLD
12
EDITORS
Felix Donovan
Eleanor Gordon-Smith
Diana Pham
John Rowley
Lane Sainty
Kate Wilcox
[email protected]
CONTRIBUTORS
Alisha Aitken-Radburn, Tim Asimakis, Eden
Caceda, Al Chalmers, Imogen Champagne,
Raihana Haidary, Emma Horn, Sarah McPherson,
Saira Mueller, Rob North, Nathan Olivieri, Claire
Slattery, Louisa Studman, Peter Walsh, Mary Ward
PUBLICATIONS MANAGER
Louisa Stylian
POPPING PILLS
08
SEX AFTER 60
17
SLEEPLESS
STUDENTS
28
STAGE MUMS
32
DESIGN MANAGER
Jeanette Kho
DESIGN
Simon Macias
Karin Segundo
WWW.USU.EDU.AU
LIKE US
FACEBOOK.COM/USUBULLMAGAZINE
The views in this publication are not necessarily
the views of USU. The information contained
within this edition of BULL was correct at the
time of printing.
This publication is brought to you by the
University of Sydney Union
ISSUE 08, 2013
WRITE FOR US! Whether you’re a budding
student journalist or have a random idea that could be a
great story, email us and you could get published here.
[email protected]
What’s On
Columns
News
Interview
When I Grow Up
Food & Booze
Travel
Campus Chatter
Fashion
Sport
Science & Tech
My Week Without
Reviews
Caught On Campus
Club Hub
Shutter Up
Stop. Puzzletime
Bullshit
04
06
07
15
21
22
23
24
35
36
37
39
40
42
43
44
45
46
CONTENTS
4
BULL USU.EDU.AU
WHAT’S ON
WHAT’S ON
EXAMS (NOVEMBER)
EXAMS (NOVEMBER)
STUVAC (NOVEMBER)
WK 13 (OCTOBER)
WK 12(OCTOBER)
MON
21
TUE
22
FOR THE FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS – HEAD
TO USU.EDU.AU AND CLICK THE CALENDAR.
CLUBS AND SOCS – REMEMBER TO SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS ON THE WEBSITE!
WED
23
GLITTER GALA
THU
24
FRI
25
7pm, The Refectory,
Holme Building
28
29
30
HALLOWEEN FUNCH
31
12pm-2pm, Eastern Ave
1
VOTING CLOSES FOR
PEOPLE’S CHOICE VERGE
AWARDS. usuonline.com/
vergeawards
KICKSTART APPLICATIONS
CLOSE. Got a cool idea?
Apply for KickStart at
usu.edu.au
4
5
6
7
8
STUVAC
STUVAC
STUVAC
STUVAC
UVAC
STUVAC
11
12
13
14
15
EXAMS
EXAMS
EXAMS
EXAMS
EXAMS
16
17
18
19
20
EXAMS
EXAMS
EXAMS
EXAMS
EXAMS
ISSUE 08
WHAT’S ON
EVERY WEEK
TOP PICKS
MONDAY-FRIDAY
SLEEP WITH SPECIAL GUESTS
SUMMONUS + THE DEVIL RIDES OUT
MONDAYS
SOLO SESSIONS
Friday 27 October, 2013
7pm, Manning Bar // +18
1-2pm, Manning Bar
SCHOOL TUTORING
Seminal stoner/doom band from San Jose, California
– Sleep – will play two shows in Sydney and Perth.
Sleep debuted in 1991 and released Holy
Mountain in 1992 which went on to forever alter
the musical landscape. Countless current bands cite
Holy Mountain as a major inspiration, and the unique
style of the record can be heard in many subsequent
releases by bands from all over the world. Dopesmoker
– Sleep’s 63-minute long ode to weed – stands as
one of the towering achievements in recent metal
history. After recording Dopesmoker, Sleep disbanded,
but reformed in 2009 and is here to rock Manning
for one night only.
3-6pm, International
Student Lounge
MOVIE NIGHT
6pm, International
Student Lounge
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
WEDNESDAYS
FORTNIGHTLY
MARKETS
9am-3pm,
Eastern Avenue
TUESDAYS
AUSTRALIAN
DISCUSSION GROUP
3pm, International
Student Lounge
THURSDAYS
THEATRESPORTS®
1-2pm, Manning Bar
WEEKLY FUNCH
(FUN @ LUNCH)
1pm, Eastern Ave
MANNING TRIVIA
POOL COMPETITION
4pm, International
Student Lounge
5-6pm, Manning Bar
ROCK YA BALLS BINGO
GET UP!
STAND UP! COMEDY
12-3pm, Manning Bar
5-6pm, Manning Bar
SCHOOL TUTORING
3-6pm, International
Student Lounge
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
1-2pm, Manning Bar
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
PROJECT 52 COMEDY
7.30-10.30pm,
Hermann’s Bar
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
FRIDAYS
DJS
4-7pm, Manning Bar
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
KORPIKLAANI (FINLAND)
25 OCT
SLEEP (USA) + SUMMONUS
+ THE DEVIL RIDES OUT
COMING UP...
FRI 15 NOV – NILE (USA) + THE FACELESS (USA)
FRI 22 NOV – MOONSORROW (FINLAND)
SAT 7 DEC – KATAKLYSM (CANADA)
GUS G’S FIREWIND (GREECE)
+ PERPETUAL END + SARALISSE
31 OCT
BEHEMOTH (NORWAY) +
HOUR OF PENANCE
26 OCT
27 OCT
ACCESS $41.65 +bf from ACCESS Desk
General $49 +bf from manningbar.com
or 1300 762 545
BEAT THE SYSTEM
TUESDAY TV
2 NOV
8 NOV
ENSLAVED (NORWAY)
+ RISE OF AVERNUS + GERM
SCOTTY KELLY & THE ROAD HOME
(FEAT MEMBERS OF NEUROSIS) + JARBOE (EX-SWANS)
5
6
BULL USU.EDU.AU
COLUMNS
COLUMNS
EDITORS’
NOTE
FELIX, ELEANOR, DIANA, JOHN, LANE & KATE
It’s the last time we get to write to you this year. This issue
is an amalgam of everything we love about you. It’s been a
pleasure and a joy to write for you, Sydney University, and
we hope you’ll walk away from this year with some of our
articles in mind.
For our vale moment, we have a feature about having
sex past the age of 60 which, let’s face it, you’ll all need to
know at some point. Getting raunchy in the nursing home
is a bigger issue than you might think – read up about these
sexy seniors.
While you’re young, we’ve written about the thrills
of being the world’s best criminals. A profile of a group
of Parisian jewel thieves who dress up and evade Interpol
awaits you on page 12. Don’t play along at home.
We write about why you might be spending all night
long staring at the ceiling instead of sleeping, and how you
can fix that. We want you to be able to roll out of bed in the
morning feeling spritely, not acting like a zombie until you
can gulp down a latte.
We venture into sad territory talking about addictions to
over the counter drugs, and how some University of Sydney
students have dealt with this problem.
Finally, we all love the crazy characters on Dance Moms
– but how about the Australian version? We delve into the
world of pushy stage parenting and try to reconcile ambition
with maternal love.
It’s been a big year, but we loved it. We hope you did too.
Love
BULL x
PRESIDENT’S DESK
HANNAH MORRIS GIVES US A QUICK UPDATE.
I hope you have enjoyed the explosion of
music, colour and creativity that has been our
‘Unleashed’ Verge Festival 2013. Many thanks
to our wonderful Verge Directors, Jack Gow
and Clemence Williams, for putting together
such an incredible event. Organising a festival
like Verge takes an unthinkable amount of time,
energy and hard work, and could not happen
without the behind-the-scenes dedication
of our Verge Directors, but also USU staff,
clubs and societies and of course our Verge
volunteers. Having started my involvement with the USU as a Verge
volunteer myself I know what an enjoyable and rewarding experience it is,
as well as how hard the volunteer coordinators work to ensure the whole
festival runs smoothly.
On a more sombre note, the last few months have seen the future
of SSAF funding come into question under the Coalition. SSAF funding
is vital to the USU’s provision of student programs and services, and
makes it possible for us to grow, expand and find new ways to enhance
the student experience. Is it in the USU’s interest to fight for the
continuation of SSAF funding, not only for ourselves but for the benefit
of all student organisations on campus, including the SRC and SUPRA,
as together we all contribute to enriching the holistic co-curricular
experience for all students at this university.
STUDENT LEADER DIARY
HANNAH EDENSOR TELLS US WHY THE V TEAM KEPT HER
AT SYDNEY UNI.
During my first year at uni, I was commuting
from Wollongong, and living and working
two hours off campus. I didn’t meet anyone
new or get involved in any of the cool events
offered at uni. In my second year, I gave
myself an ultimatum – make it count or
transfer to Wollongong. Second year, I signed
up to be a volunteer for O-Week 2013. I had
absolutely no idea what to expect, and even
if I had expectations, they were blown out of
the water that very first day.
O-Week was the first of the crazy and
creative events I volunteered for, and I don’t regret any of it for a second.
I’ve seen 24 hour comedy fests send people on the perfect first date;
I’ve seen societies and volunteers alike trip and blunder through mud
and O-Week stalls; I’ve seen Manning Bar be transformed into a Mad
Hatter’s Tea Party. It’s safe to say that volunteering at uni is still nothing
like I ever expected.
I’ve worked as a volunteer leader for O-Week and at the time of writing
this, I’m about to do the same for Verge Festival. The people I’ve had the
privilege of working with are so dedicated to a cause – be it interfaith
awareness or in-your-face comedy – and meet every challenge with brazen
spirits. If there’s anything I can recommend, it’s student leadership and
involvement – putting yourself out there, meeting amazing individuals and
finding yourself in hilarious situations all throughout the year.You learn so
much about yourself and others, and then you back up and do it all again!
Find out more about The V Team or fill out a volunteer application
form at usu.edu.au/Get-Involved/Volunteer.aspx
ISSUE 08
NEWS
7
1 MANNING AND HERMANN’S WEBSITES
1
GET A MAKEOVER
2 BULL WINS BEST STUDENT PUBLICATION
3 INCUBATE GOES NATIONAL WITH
GOOGLE PARTNERSHIP
2
3
NEWS
MANNING AND HERMANN’S
GET NEW WEBSITES
Your favourite bars’ brand new
websites have just gone live so
you can keep up with the latest
gigs and events. Check them
out at manningbar.com and
hermannsbar.com.
BULL WINS BEST
STUDENT PUBLICATION
BULL has been named Best
Publication by ACUMA for
being “incredibly mature and
progressive”. BULL is a core
student program which sees six
budding student journalists work
with key USU staff to develop eight
issues, like the one you’re reading
now, throughout the year.
The ACUMA Awards for
Excellence in Campus Service are
open to all university associations
across Australia and are judged
across several categories. This
year USU also won Best Student
Development Program for
INCUBATE, Best Logo/Icon
for the new lion range, Best
Student Diary, Best Sustainability
Campaign for USU’s changeover
to Certified coffee and Best
Creative Campaign for ‘We Are
Making a Difference’ to support
the Certified coffee changeover.
GOOGLE AND INCUBATE
TEAM UP
Google and INCUBATE,
the USU’s startup accelerator
program, have announced that
they’ll be working together
to expand INCUBATE to
universities across Australia.
Google will help INCUBATE
expand the program across
Australia by providing financial
support as well as access to Google
technology, platforms and mentors,
and help connect startups at
the new hubs with a network of
entrepreneurs. Google will also
help INCUBATE run a national
demo day early next year to
showcase the top startups from
the national program.
INCUBATE is seeking partner
universities, student startups and
experienced entrepreneurs to be
part of this initiative. Find out
more at incubate.org.au/national.
INTERNATIONAL STUDENT
TV LOUNGE NOW OPEN
Welcome to your new hub of
entertainment: the International
Student TV Lounge! Located in the
bean bag area, our five widescreen
TVs will be broadcasting a
variety of news, entertainment
and sport from around the world.
Enjoy the suspense, tension and
comedy of Asian and European
dramas, stay up-to-date with the
latest worldwide developments
with ABC News 24 and catch
some of the largest international
sporting events.
Can’t hear the TV? You can
stream the audio right to your
iPhone – simply connect to
the ISL TV wi-fi network (pw:
StudentsTV), direct your browser
to 192.168.0.1 and choose which
TV you want to hear. Too easy!
Android users: download the FLV
Video Player app, and then follow
the above process.
NEW LION RANGE ON SALE NOW
Alluding to the University’s prestige
by extracting the lion from the
coat of arms, and displaying it
in a modern context, we have
developed the new lion range using
ASColour apparel. The awardwinning range is now available at
UniMart (Level 1, JFR plaza at the
Wentworth building).
REVUES SEASON WRAP-UP
Congratulations to the talented
cast and crew of our 2013 Revues
Season. Whether costumed or
nude, singing or putting on their
best Julia Gillard accent, students
from all faculties put on shows we’ll
never forget. If you missed all the
action, be sure to keep your eye
out for our 2014 Best of Revues
showcase, coming to the Seymour
Centre in May 2014.
WRITE FOR US!
Whether you’re a budding
student journalist or have a
random idea that could be
a great story, email us and
you could get published here.
[email protected]
8
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
EDEN CACEDA HEADS TO THE MEDICINE CABINET
TO FIND THAT ADDICTS HAVE EMPTIED IT OUT.
I
t starts with a cold, cough, headache, diarrhoea or
an unexpected pain in a joint. It’s something that’s
too mild to visit the doctor for but too severe to just
sleep off. You go to the pharmacy, buy a packet of
painkillers, pop enough to feel better until it passes and
put the tablets away once you’re back on your feet.
But not everyone stops there.
ISSUE 08
FEATURE
9
MELBOURNE
RESEARCHERS
DISCOVERED THAT
115 DEATHS OVER
THE LAST DECADE
HAVE INVOLVED USE
OF CODEINE, WITH
63 OF THESE DEATHS
BEING THE DIRECT
RESULT OF DRUG
TOXICITY.
Image coutesy of www.fox13.blog.sbc.edu
I had diarrhoea and stomach cramps, I even
Over the counter (OTC) medicine addiction
had slight shakes. It all lasted about seven days,
– addiction to drugs that are legal and for
then about another week after that I was feeling
which you don’t need a prescription, such as
‘lost’ or even depressed. Then after that I felt fine
paracetamol, pseudoephedrine, and codeine
and I’ve felt great since not having them.”
– is one of society’s unrecognised forms of
In some circles, OTC medication has
substance abuse. While it is considered relatively
been considered the middle class addiction
safe in contrast to prescribed and illicit drugs,
that contributed to sales of 16 million packs of
OTC medicine addiction is a growing problem
codeine in 2012, worth $145 million annually.
in Australia.
Its accessible nature and cheap price make it
A Sydney University student, Linda*,
a more common form of substance abuse. In
believes she was mildly addicted to codeine,
September a report by the Pharmacy Guild of
a key ingredient in strong pain relievers. “I was
Australia released a statement on the growing
taking 40 tablets of generic painkillers in about
number of people seeking codeine-based
two to three days. I’d wake up by about 9am and
medication in Tasmania, with some pharmacies
I’d have a killer headache that just wouldn’t go
exposing that more than ten patients came in to
away unless I took the tablets. I would take four
seek such medication before 9am each day.
every three hours instead of the recommended
Richard*, a University of Sydney student,
two every eight hours. I eventually realised one
described his brief but intense road down
day that the tablets were causing the headaches
and I was taking them because of the headaches.” dependence on Codral Nightime during his final
year of high school. “All I had was one Codral
Linda began to acknowledge her addiction,
Night to sleep when I had a cold and it all went
describing the “vicious cycle of it all” and
decided to quit cold turkey. “I got bad headaches downhill from there. I was suffering mild anxiety
and insomnia so I began taking two Codrals
for about a week after I stopped taking them,
every night for two months just to sleep and
survive the HSC. But during the day everything
was perfect.” Richard echoes one of the many
differences between OTC medicine addicts and
illicit drug addicts, in that these individuals are
still socially and economically active, despite
their dependence.
One of the many issues with addiction to
OTC medication is that tolerance develops
which means that higher doses are required to
achieve the same effect. Wendy* attests to this.
Following a minor car accident she turned to
regular OTC pain relievers, Wendy’s addiction
got worse as she became accustomed to Panadol.
“It was part of routine – nothing more. But day
by day I felt its effect on me lessened so I took
more,” she said. Fortunately for Wendy she
began to understand the higher dosages had no
effect so she began slowly taking less and less
until she lost her reliance.
A significant difference between Panadol
and Codral and pain relievers such as Nurofen
and Panadeine, is the use of codeine. Codeine is
one of the most common substances in over
10
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
“I WOULD SHOP AT
DIFFERENT CHEMISTS TO
GET THEM AND NOT BE
NOTICED. I WOULD GO
THROUGH A BOX OF 72
IN A WEEK EASY.”
the counter medicine and is prevalent in many
OTC painkillers. As an antidepressant sedative
with hypnotic effects, codeine has the same
physically addictive properties as heroin and
morphine. Despite codeine being a fraction
of the potency of these substances, prolonged
and excessive use of codeine can have shortterm effects of troubled breathing, decreased
urination, vision changes, dizziness and nausea,
and long-term effects of diminished libido,
apathy and memory loss.
In September, Melbourne researchers
discovered that 115 deaths over the last decade
have involved use of codeine, with 63 of these
deaths being the direct result of drug toxicity.
Many more scientists are now pushing for
products with codeine to be banned in OTC
medication as a consequence of this report.
Furthermore, an Adelaide University study
discovered after a number of tests that codeine
may in fact cause a heightened sensitivity to
pain rather than relieve it.
A primary distinction between prescribed
and OTC medication is that these drugs
are sold directly to customers without a
prescription at the discretion of a pharmacist.
For medication with bigger doses of addictive
substances, pharmacists are directly involved
with the customers with usage history monitored
in order to deter misuse and dependence.
Rachel*, a university student, worked under
a boss she now realises had an addiction to
Panadeine Extra. “She asked me and other
younger shop attendants to go to various
chemists around town, sending different
employees to different pharmacies on different
days,” Rachel said. “I obviously didn’t realise it
was an addiction, she was good at hiding what
she was doing. She would casually say to me,
‘Just say it’s for you if they ask.’ I later realised
it was a measure to prevent anybody finding
out about her addiction.”
Likewise Sam*, an executive, speaks of
his addiction to the codeine in Nurofen Plus
for just under a year. “I would wake up and
have Nurofen for breakfast. Go through at
least six to nine every day, 10 on stressful days.”
A common issue raised by OTC medication
addicts is trying to hide their addiction from
pharmacists. “I would shop at different chemists
to get them and not be noticed. I would go
through a box of 72 in a week easy,” said Sam.
Rachel too faced the challenging role of
getting a continuous supply of Panadeine Extra
for her boss. “It got to the point where I would
go to the pharmacy, they would ask me if it
was for me, and when I said ‘No, it’s for my
boss’ and they would say ‘Well, we can’t give
it to you’ and I would return empty handed.
A couple of times my boss became quite angry
and suspicious of whether I had gone to the
pharmacy at all. If she didn't have access to the
medication, she would become extremely vague
and complain about having a severe headache.”
Fortunately, OTC abuse and addiction
is being increasingly recognised, with a 2010
crackdown on codeine by the Pharmacy Guild
of Australia, which decreed that painkillers had
to be released in smaller packets with smaller
doses of codeine. The change came as a result of
some addicts reportedly crushing Nurofen Plus
and injecting them into their blood directly to
get faster euphoric effects. The change primarily
focused on Nurofen Plus, Panadeine and
Panadeine Extra.
For Richard, he says that without the
continuous support of his family, things could
have spiralled out of control. “I would have
kept going if my parents didn’t pick me up for
it and force me to stop having them. It’s hard
at first of course but I feel liberated without
feeling dependent on it.” Echoing these
sentiments, Sam commented that “going to a
therapist for stress, depression, whatever you
have, is always better, and while it might not be
easier than taking a pill, it’s better to deal with
the issue head on.”
*Names have been changed.
MANNING WEBSITE
IS NOW LIVE!
CHECK IT OUT AT
www.manningbar.com
12
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
TIM ASIMAKIS KIND OF WANTS TO JOIN THE PINK PANTHERS.
O
n the last Sunday of July of this year a lone man,
carrying an empty suitcase, strolled into the Carlton
Hotel on La Croisette in Cannes, France. 60 seconds
later he walked back out of the building. In a heist that French
police could only describe as “absolutely incredible”, the suitcase
had been filled with $150 million worth of stolen diamonds.
ISSUE 08
FEATURE
13
SINCE 1999
THE GANG HAS
AMASSED A HAUL
OF MORE THAN
$500 MILLION IN
STOLEN JEWELLERY
, AND THEIR
GLOBAL REACH IS
STAGGERING.
The Carlton robbery instantly entered the
record books as the most expensive jewel raid
in France’s history. And the record holders?
Well, they’re a loosely organised gang of thieves
who have been fittingly dubbed ‘The Pink
Panthers’. The name is sourced from the
titular diamond in the Peter Sellers comedies,
and, unsurprisingly, they have a penchant for
theatrics. The film buffs playing at home could
tell you that the Carlton Hotel was the setting
for Alfred Hitchock’s 1955 film To Catch a Thief.
The Pink Panthers’ scorecard is nothing
short of remarkable. Since 1999, the gang has
amassed a haul of more than $500 million
in stolen jewellery, and their global reach is
staggering. Interpol, the inter-governmental
agency that facilitates cooperation between
national law enforcement agencies, claims that
the Panthers are responsible for several hundred
robberies in over 35 different countries.You
could pick a spot on the map at random and
you wouldn’t be too far from a place where the
gang’s trademark planning and Hollywood-style
antics have been recorded.
In Paris, London, and Tokyo, gang members
disguised their identities beneath large wigs
before robbing high street stores. In St Tropez,
the Panthers opted for floral shirts as their
uniform and a speedboat as their getaway
vehicle. In Dubai, they drove a pair of limousines
into the Wafi mall and then through the window
of a jewellery store.You can view the escape,
involving the same two limousines, on YouTube.
The video has half a million hits.
Their daring burglaries would not be out
of place if they popped up in the midst of a
blockbuster, provided they weren’t deemed too
implausible for the average moviegoer to believe.
As you might expect for such an enigmatic
criminal organisation, the Panthers’ origins are
murky. Interpol’s Project Pink Panthers states
that the gang’s foremost members originate
from the former Yugoslavia. Journalist David
Samuels spent a year investigating the group
and came to the same conclusion. His inquiries
revealed that the Panthers formed to supply
the black markets of Serbia that sprung up in
response to sanctions during the Balkan wars.
Samuels writes extensively on the brutal
circumstances that drove many towards
criminality. “By January, 1994, when the
Bosnian war was at its height, Serbia had
experienced hyperinflation for 24 months.
The monthly rate of inflation was 313,563,558
per cent.” In a desperate bid to avoid starvation,
many Serbs turned to black markets and the
underworld. Samuels wrote, “It was difficult
for me not to sympathise with these men. The
Pink Panthers were taking revenge on a world
that had robbed them blind.”
Yet while great efforts have been made to
establish the Panthers’ beginnings, its current
arrangement has proven much more difficult
to penetrate. An unnamed Parisian bodyguard
who offers his services to Serbs and claims
to have contact with the Panthers spoke to
Samuels of the institution’s structure in 2010.
“They don’t know each other, but at a higher
level it is organised.” With references to gang
members’ lack of knowledge of the organisation
they steal for, he may as well have been
delivering lines from The Usual Suspects.
Belgian detective André Notredame is a
reputed expert on the Panthers. His best guess is
that 20 to 30 thieves form the organisation’s core.
You would be forgiven for thinking that such
information appears vague. It is. Even the
14
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
world’s police, who have the unfortunate task
of tracking down the elusive mob, often seem
more awestruck than informed. Chief Inspector
Yan Glassey of the Swiss Central Brigade has
dedicated years to pursuing the jewel thieves,
and in the process, his sense of humour appears
to have been slightly warped: a large, stuffed,
Pink Panther toy resides in his office, hanging
from a noose. “If you take all their crimes
together,” he concedes, “they are the best
thieves in the world”.
But by being the best in your field you are
almost certain to inspire someone, and thieves
are no exception.
A mere three days after the Carlton heist,
the very same promenade in Cannes was hit
again. This time the target was the high-end
jewellery store, Kronometry. Inside the store
one robber frantically waved a hand grenade
and threatened to blow the joint while a
second, carrying a gun, crammed handfuls
of gem-encrusted watches into a sports
bag. As the pair exited, the second robber
inexplicably stopped and turned to face the
shop’s cowering staff. “Desolé,” he quipped,
“C’est la crise.” For those who don’t speak
French, that’s a pithy apology: “Sorry, it’s the
economic crisis”.
French police believe that opportunists,
mimicking the tropes of the Panthers,
carried out the robbery.
Between the glamorous
settings of the French
Riviera, the comically
extravagant tone of the
Panthers’ crimes and
their strange relationship
with the police, you may
find yourself forgetting
that the Panthers are
criminals and that they
do get caught.
In 2008, Glassey
arrested Milan
Ljepoja, one of the
Panthers responsible for
the infamous limousinefeaturing Dubai robbery,
Glassey has spoken publicly
of the dramatic pursuit
through Gex, France, that
ultimately resulted in Ljepoja
being found concealed under some bushes in a
schoolyard. Ljepoja’s absolute composure upon
capture struck Glassey as somewhat remarkable:
“He stands up, very confident, his pants open at
the leg, he’s bleeding, and he says, ‘Good job.’”
For a group who shirks authority as
frequently and as flagrantly as the Panthers,
it surprises nobody that they are not easily
resigned to spending time in jail. In the two
months preceding the Carlton heist, three of the
Panthers’ key members were busted out of Swiss
prisons. This is no easy feat — Switzerland is not
known for its security by accident.
The third man to be sprung, Milan Poparic,
coincidentally escaped just three days before the
robbery in Cannes. During a prison exercise
period, accomplices rammed the prison’s gate
with a van and constructed an escape route
across the prison’s fence using ladders. While the
first van was torched, a second vehicle made off
with the liberated Poparic. The entirety of the
escape was covered by a blanket of suppressing
fire from automatic weapons.
That Poparic was even in prison to begin
with speaks to the efforts made by police to
combat the Panthers’ power. In April of this
year, Interpol amassed 60 investigators from
around the globe in Vienna for the 7th Working
Group on the Pink Panthers. According to
Interpol, its purpose was to “share information
regarding ongoing investigations and successful
arrests”. Despite these efforts, four months later
the group staged its most daring and expensive
robbery to date.
It is difficult to look past the severe
obstacles that authorities face. The organisation’s
information structure ensures that very few
arrests yield useful leads, and powerful Panthers,
like Poparic, aren’t likely to remain in prison
for long.
In fact, if you were keen to assign points in
this global game of cat and mouse, you might
note that in the year preceding the meeting of
the Working Group, Interpol reported 23 new
cases that were suspected to be the work of the
Pink Panthers. By contrast, Interpol’s last press
release detailing the arrest of a high profile
Panther is dated 2010.
Law enforcement agencies around the
world like to frame things in terms of
wars. If you buy into such rhetoric then
in the war against the Pink Panthers, by
almost any metric, the law enforcement
agencies are losing.
The severity and dangerous nature of
the Panthers’ crimes cannot be ignored, but
simultaneously, it is hard for a detached
observer to not see an element of swashbuckling
romanticism in their exploits. Their plots are
ingenious and daring; the Panthers themselves
are fearless. From Tokyo, to Dubai, to Paris
they have made a mockery of the world’s best
security systems and guards. They have led the
world’s best detectives on a chase across the
globe. They’ve shown a flagrant disregard for
property and found a perfect synergy of brute
efficiency and theatrical trademarks. If they
had achieved the same success in almost any
other field then they would be household names.
Yan Gassley is right: they are the best at what
they do. It’s just that what they do is thieve.
BELGIAN
DETECTIVE
ANDRE NOTREDAME
IS A REPUTED EXPERT
ON THE PANTHERS.
HIS BEST GUESS
IS THAT 20 TO 30
THIEVES FORM THE
ORGANISATION S
CORE.
ISSUE 08
INTERVIEW
INTERVIEW
KATE McCLYMONT
KATE WILCOX HAD A CHAT TO THIS BASTION OF THE AUSTRALIAN PRESS.
If you have picked up the Sydney Morning
Herald in the last year, chances are you will
have seen Kate McClymont’s byline on the
first page. The award-winning, death threat
defying reporter most recently spearheaded
the investigation into the Obeid family.
THIS LAST YEAR WITH THE ICAC HEARINGS INTO EDDIE
OBEID AND IAN MACDONALD HAVE BEEN HUGE FOR YOU.
BUT YOU MUST HAVE BEEN INVESTIGATING THIS STORY
FOR YEARS. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?
I wrote my first article on Eddie Obeid in 2000,
so what’s that, 13 years ago?
HOW DID IT START?
When you’re a journalist, bits and pieces of
information come to you, people tell you things.
And the more I heard about Eddie Obeid,
the more interesting I thought he sounded,
so I decided to have a look into his activities.
The first thing I found was that in the very
week he started in Parliament, in 1991, he’d
bought a building on one day for, I think it
was about $800,000, and sold it the very next
day for double the money to the Department
of Housing. So that’s the sort of deals he was
involved in, they were always very interesting.
15
all they want for you to do is stop, they don’t
actually want to do anything. But having said
that it is quite disconcerting when you get a
message delivered to your house that involves
threats of violence or that they will kill you.
Because then you think, they have actually gone
to the trouble of finding out where I live. But if you
let those things worry you, you can’t do your job.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MOMENT WHILE INVESTIGATING
A STORY WHEN YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT GIVING UP DUE
TO INTIMIDATION?
No, not really, I think all it does for me is harden
my resolve. I just sort of think, bullies should
not be allowed to operate, and if you give in to a
bully they’ve won.
HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN A STORY YOU’VE BEEN WORKING
ON FOR SO LONG HITS THE PAPERS AND COMES TO FRUITION?
If you didn’t say you were happy you’d be lying.
But you feel like your job, it’s a public service job
really, in that you’re there to be the eyes and ears
of the public. When you’ve been writing about
somebody for so long and finally someone
takes notice of it and the outcome is good you
do feel a sense of satisfaction and a sense of
achievement. It’s worth saying, the stories on the
Obeids have not been me in isolation, there are
my colleagues at the Herald, Linton Besser and
Anne Davies, also some fabulous work from the
Australian Financial Review, it’s not as though
you work in isolation.
YOU’VE INVESTIGATED SOME AMAZING STORIES THROUGH
YOUR CAREER. ARE THERE ANY THAT YOU’RE PARTICULARLY
PROUD OF?
One of the most interesting ones was... about
a development in South-Western Sydney
involving Liverpool council and the Bulldogs
rugby league club. By following the money we
were able to prove, my colleague Anne Davies
and I, that the Bulldogs had been avoiding the
salary cap by up to $1 million. We published
the story... the Bulldogs were leading the
competition and as a result of our story they
went from first to last, and we had to have
security guards at the building to protect
against angry Bulldogs supporters taking their
vengeance out on the Herald rather than any of
their management. That was a really good one.
THROUGH THE COURSE OF YOUR CAREER YOU’VE MADE
ENEMIES WITH SOME POWERFUL PEOPLE. YOU’VE HAD
DEATH THREATS, YOUR PHONE HACKED, YOU MUST HAVE
BEEN SCARED AT MOMENTS?
I think that comes with the job. What you say
to yourself I think to make yourself feel better
is that it’s the people that don’t threaten you
are the ones that you really have to worry about.
The ones that do threaten you... I tell myself,
HOW IMPORTANT IS INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING?
Good work, good investigations can shine a
light into areas of very, very serious corruption...
I think we perform a public duty in keeping
the bastards honest, as they say. A vital part of
having a vibrant democracy is having a press
that is prepared to put in these hard yards to
look into these aspects of corruption.
Image courtesy of abc.net.au
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ISSUE 08
FEATURE
Your
grandparents
still do it.
DIANA PHAM FINDS OUT THAT
69 COMES AFTER 65.
17
18
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
Nursing home
workers often
have to deal with
bed hopping or
other deviant
sexual behaviour
from uninhibited
individuals,
but this doesn’t
mean that sexual
activity should
be stamped out
altogether.
W
hen we think of elderly people, we think of decrepit,
bingo-playing retirees, confused callers to talkback
radio, or those who sit at the front of the bus. In
the past it has been a social taboo to think of the elderly as
sexually active, with the common belief that sex stops after
60 and if it doesn’t, it gets written off as something icky. But
these views are changing and as the population ages there are
new open and frank discussions about how big a part sex can
play in every part of a human life.
Baby Boomers, maybe the most randy
generation ever, are starting to stage their
love-ins in retirement homes. One American
study found 54 per cent of people aged
between 75 and 85 have sex at least two to
three times a month. A quarter of those have
sex once a week. And many of those who are
celibate haven’t lost their desire – they’re just
not physically capable of doing it any more.
Recently interviewed on the SBS show
Insight, sex therapist and author Dr Rosie King
spoke about how society sees the elderly as
non-sexual beings. This means very little
attention has been paid to the real problems
older people face during sex.
“The media stereotype is of older people as
being useless, toothless, hairless and sexless.
There is no mention of dentures or flagging
erections or hiatus hernia or stiff hips. But that’s
the reality of sex as you get older and you have
to adjust to that.”
All the facets of love and attraction – gay
and straight relationships, one-night stands,
affairs, kink, and all the rest – don’t just go
away once your hair goes grey. Sexologist
Elaine George says society often has the wrong
impression about sexuality and attraction.
“Young people think that a beautiful body
equals sexual desire. But [older people have]
sagging bottoms, sagging breasts and they lose
ISSUE 08
FEATURE
their aesthetic appeal as time goes on. Sexual
desire is more than having sex appeal, it’s also
about having a strong connection in terms of
desire both psychologically and physically,”
she says.
Passion has consequences though,
and one surprising issue surrounding late life
sexuality is the rising incidence of sexuallytransmitted infections among the elderly.
While STIs have increased in all age groups,
the Department of Health and Ageing’s data
(National Notifiable Diseases Surveillance
System) shows that STI rates are climbing
faster among older Australians than any other
age groups.
Sexologist Elaine George says this is
largely owing to generational standards and
expectations, where older Australians lack sexual
education and forego using condoms. “Older
couples aren’t practicing ‘safe sex’,” she says.
“They’re not using condoms because they think
there’s no fear or pregnancy so they don’t tend
to worry about the STI matter – of course,
until it’s too late.”
Further research by Mary Stewart from
Family Planning New South Wales has backed
up this reluctance as a real phenomenon. “We
found, interestingly, that it was the older age
group of women who were less likely to refuse
sex without a condom compared to younger
women,” she says. This is particularly prevalent
in new relationships, which might start after
a divorce, a death, or even moving into a
retirement home.
There can also be physical barriers to sex,
which the medical profession has only recently
started to take more seriously. King says
impotency among elderly men is a predictable
issue when it comes to having a satisfying
sex life.
“An 18 year old can get a full erection in
three seconds flat. [But for older men] erections
are going to be less firm. It’s going to take longer
to get an erection and you have to stimulate it to
make it erect.”
But King says performance sex drugs like
Viagra have given them “a whole new lease on
life”, and there are also treatments available
to make sex easier for older women. After
menopause, intercourse can be uncomfortable
due to vaginal dryness. There are now better
ways to treat it than just using loads of lube –
vagina oestrogen is an option, according to King.
“I think this is wonderful because it keeps
your vagina young, supple and moist.You can
be 90 years old and have a 19 year old vagina,”
she says.
The issue of consent is important, especially
for older people whose self-concept has
been shaken by neglect, or those affected by
conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s. The
topic of sex can be particularly difficult for
families and care givers when lines are blurred,
says George.
“It is something to be wary of. For example,
people with increased dementia aren’t really able
to make decisions that are as cautious as they’d
be without the effects of dementia, and these
people need to be protected,” she says.
Nursing home workers often have to deal
with bed hopping or other deviant sexual
behaviour from uninhibited individuals, but
this doesn’t mean that sexual activity should be
stamped out altogether. When consent is clearly
given, George says care workers and families
should offer support and guidance.
Another minority group that struggle
with being sexually open are older LGBT
people, especially if they are staying in a nursing
home with religious affiliations. George says
this is largely due to the conservatism of
older generations.
One American
study found
54 per cent of
people aged
between 75 and
85 have sex
at least two to
three times a
month.
“It’s incredible how backwards we
are in Australia when it comes to same sex
marriages, especially among the conservative
older generations whose values are more
traditional,” she says.
The Aged Care Act was amended in
2011 to protect LGBT people from unfair
discrimination. However, the Coalition is
looking to pass a bill to protect the rights
of religious aged care providers to deny beds
to elderly homosexual, transgender and
intersex people. Even Liberals are dissenting,
with Senator Sue Boyce voicing her opposition,
saying that tax-funded religious age care
facilities “cannot have it both ways”.
“Why should we allow age care
institutions that are funded by the federal
19
government to decide who the residents of
those aged care facilities will be based on the
sexual orientation or the sexual status of the
people involved? I do not think it is reasonable
for that to be the right of the organisations,”
she says.
Stigma and judgment from family and
friends has created an atmosphere of selfsurveillance among sexually active elderly
couples. Even doctors can find it embarrassing,
and this leads to sexual health being ignored
in geriatrics. Patients of a certain age can also
be reluctant to talk about the issue.
“Men and women in their 40s or 50s if
they have a sex issue – whether that’s lack
of desire or erection problems – they’re still
shy to talk to their doctor about it, because
doctors don’t really want to know about it,”
George says.
Ridicule and ignorance are also moodkillers. “When people ask questions like
‘Are you serious? Are you kidding?’ it
demeans and devalues sex lives of elderly
people,” she says.
Nursing homes and other age care
facilities give very little priority to their elderly
patient’s sex lives. While the newer nursing
homes provide double or queen size beds for
their patients, many of the older nursing
homes are still single bed facilities, which
George says largely hinders intimacy.
“The ridiculous thing is that they should
have double or queen size beds anyway
because an elderly couple should be able to
lie next to each other and comfort each other.
Because that’s what a relationship is all about
and skin contact is just as important as
anything else.”
Overcoming debilitating stereotypes
about sex and the elderly involves changing
attitudes and acceptance, says George.
“It all comes back to the question of
acceptance and attitudes. But if we as a
collective society and the stakeholders were
able to adopt an attitude of acceptance that
would shift things enormously,” she says.
Acceptance and a willingness to change
discriminatory attitudes would not only
benefit the older sexually active community
as a whole, but also give elderly individuals a
sense of sexual confidence. “One of the things
that I see is that it’s terribly important for these
people’s self-concept to continue to be sexual
beings,” says George.
The topic of sex and attraction is rarely
spoken in conjunction to seniors, with
stereotypes and uninformed assumptions
crowding the issue. The picture of our
grandparents or elderly community as sexually
active beings may be a confronting and even
an embarrassing idea for some, but it is an
important one that needs further frank and
honest discussions.
HERMANN’S WEBSITE
IS NOW LIVE!
CHECK IT OUT AT
www.hermannsbar.com
ISSUE 08 21
WHEN I GROW UP
WHEN I GROW UP
I want to be…
a yoga instructor
E
ach month, BULL seeks out somebody who has a career that is outside the norm.
This month, we spoke to Caitlin Gleeson, a yoga instructor at Fitness First and
Sydney University student.
WE’LL START WITH THE BASICS: WHAT DO YOU DO?
I teach yoga, bodyattack (high intensity cardio
class), cxworx (core strength class), and rpm
(cycle class). I’m still finishing off my psychology
honours, so I do it part-time, teaching about
12 classes a week.
HOW DID YOU GET INTO YOGA TEACHING?
I fell in love with yoga when I started to
participate in classes about seven years ago,
and wanted to do even more with it!
HOW IS YOGA DIFFERENT TO, SAY, STRETCHING, OR AN
AEROBICS CLASS?
Yoga is so incredibly unique compared to any
other type of exercise or activity. All the other
exercise programs that I teach leave you on
an incredible high, but at the expense of sore
muscles and fatigue.Yoga has this incredible
balance though, in which it both strengthens and
lengthens the muscles so that you feel physically
amazing afterwards. On a non-physical level,
yoga, more than any other activity, gives you a
chance to completely switch off and recharge
mentally. It makes you realise how much you
rely on habitual negative thought patterns
and, through that observation, gives you the
permission and power to be kinder to yourself.
HOW MUCH YOGA DO YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE YOU ARE
QUALIFIED TO TEACH?
Technically, the initial teachers’ training is
200 contact hours. But yoga, more than any
other program, is seen as a lifelong commitment
to training and development. I’m currently
looking at up-skilling and doing my 500 hour
teacher training.
WHAT’S THE HARDEST PART OF YOUR JOB?
Yoga in particular is extremely diverse, even just
on a physical level. So it’s hard knowing that
you can’t please every participant who comes
into class. Some will want a super challenging
class, whereas others will want to chill out a bit
more. One of the hardest things about being an
instructor generally is that you have to develop
a very tough skin (especially in the Eastern
suburbs), as every single word you say, thing
you do, and position you take is being evaluated.
AND THE MOST REWARDING BIT?
Seeing people transform in front of me.
One particular class that I teach gives me
goosebumps every time I take them— there is
something incredible about looking out into
a room and seeing 70 people become more
accepting and nurturing of themselves.
WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU’VE LEARNED THROUGH YOGA
TEACHING THAT YOU DIDN’T EXPECT TO LEARN?
The incredible diversity of people who all love
doing this one thing.
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DISMISSIVE OF
THE SPIRITUAL OR MEDITATIVE SIDE OF YOGA?
To be honest, I used to be one of them. The
beautiful thing about yoga is that you can pick
and choose what you want to take away from
it. But the odds are, if you start with a physical
practice, you will inevitably get psychological
benefits because the two processes are
inextricably linked. I think one of the other
things I’ve realised is that the meditative side
of yoga taps into basic principles of human
living, rather than anything that is otherworldly
or ‘supernatural’. When you come onto your
mat, you cultivate a type of self-forgiveness,
clarity and awareness that allows you to live your
day-to-day life with a greater appreciation of the
small things, and ultimately that’s what everyone
needs a little bit more of in this world.
Image courtesy of yogamatsadventure.wordpress.com
22
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FOOD & BOOZE
FOOD &
BOOZE
Christmas
Edition
KATE WILCOX SHOWS YOU HOW TO
EAT YOURSELF STUPID THROUGH
THE SILLY SEASON.
T
wo years ago I almost singlehandedly cooked
Christmas dinner for my family. An entire Christmas
dinner: roast chicken (we don’t go in for turkey),
salads, roast veggies, marinated prawns, Christmas ham,
fruit salad, pavlova, the whole kit and Christmas caboodle.
My take-over of the cooking was last minute
necessitated by – what else, at this time of
year? – a family crisis. It was fairly stressful and
exhausting, mostly because it involved venturing
into that hub of human depravity: a supermarket
on Christmas Eve.
Food matters at Christmas. For many people,
it’s a key reason to get out of bed and brave the
family. Here is a guide – from one battle-weary
Christmas cook – to the foods of the holiday season.
CHRISTMAS MILK AND COOKIES
FOR SANTA
You remember the tradition. Before going to
bed excitedly on Christmas Eve you’d carefully
lay out a plate of biscuits and a glass of milk
for Santa. Perhaps you’d also write him a note,
or leave some carrots for the reindeer. Then,
magically, they’d be gone, eaten by Santa, and
contributing to a case of lifelong health problems
for the North Pole hospital system to deal with.
Somewhere along the way, you figured
out Santa wasn’t real, you stopped leaving out
biscuits, and gradually, the magic died.
If we’ve learnt anything from every bad
American Christmas movie ever made, it’s that
the primary role of children is to re-teach adults
the wonder and magic of Christmas. So, this
Christmas Eve, whip up a batch of choc chip
biscuits, or just crack open a packet of Oreos,
add a slosh of Baileys to your milk and get excited
about Santa squeezing down your chimney.
CHRISTMAS DAY
AUSTRALIAN STYLE
It is ingrained into our psyche that Christmas
should be a wintry time. All of our cultural
notions of Christmas feature the falling of snow,
blazing fires, and a fat bearded man dressed
in what we can only guess are extremely cozy,
velveteen pyjamas. Consequently, traditional
Christmas foods are quite inappropriate to our
southern hemisphere climate. Rich Christmas
pudding soaked in brandy on a thirty-five
degree day, anyone? I didn’t think so. It’s time
we started our own gastronomic traditions
more appropriate to the sunshine. Obviously
eggnog is out. Ditto, mince pies. Christmas
ham can stay, because it’s delicious and can
be served cold. Seafood is a must. Same goes
for mangoes. The country is still on the fence
about a full-on roast dinner: for some it’s too
heavy, for others slighting the roast is culinary
heresy. But the overall tone of the day should be
light and delicious, like the recipe for Christmas
Prawns and Yuletide Cocktails on this page.
BOXING DAY
Ah Boxing Day, the unsung hero of the
Christmas break. A day of cricket, presents being
tested, and, glory of glories, leftovers. On Boxing
Day morning, head to any bakery that’s open
and buy a loaf of fresh bread, unsliced, to help
you use your leftovers to best effect. For lunch, a
thick slice of bread with avocado, rocket, leftover
prawns, and a squeeze of lemon. For dinner, a
sandwich of leftover roast chicken, a thick slice
of Christmas ham, some stuffing, and any roast
vegetables kicking about in the fridge. Pavlova
doesn’t last long, neither does fruit salad, a great
excuse to eat them in gluttonous quantities.
Christmas cake will outlive you, so no rush on
that one. And gingerbread lasts a long while, so if
you were really proactive in the lead up to Santa’s
arrival and made a gingerbread house, you can
just sit watching the cricket or the Sydney to
Hobart and slowly demolish a sugary residence.
MARINATED CHRISTMAS
PRAWNS
INGREDIENTS
• ½cupcorianderleaves
• ¼cuppeanutoil
• 2garliccloves,finelychopped
• 1stemlemongrass,bruised,thinlysliced
• 2smallredchillies,deseeded,
thinlysliced
• 2limes,juiced
• 1kggreenkingprawns,peeled
(tailsleftintact),deveined
WHAT YOU DO
Combinechoppedcoriander,oil,garlic,
lemongrass,chilliesandlimejuiceina
ceramicdish.Addprawnsandstirto
coat.Coverandrefrigeratefor2hours.
ThenBBQ.
YULETIDE WATERMELON
MOJITOS
INGREDIENTS
•5cupscubedseededwatermelon
•1cupsparklingwater
•¾cupwhiterum
•¼cupchoppedfreshmint
•¾cupundilutedlimeadeconcentrate
•Mintsprigs
•Limeslices
WHAT YOU DO
Arrangewatermeloninasinglelayer
onabakingsheet;freezefor2hoursor
untilcompletelyfrozen.Combinefrozen
watermelon,sparklingwater,rum,mint,
andlimeadeinablender;processuntil
smooth.Garnishwithmintsprigsand
limeslicesifdesired.Serveimmediately.
ISSUE 08
TRAVEL
23
TRAVEL
Sub-Saharan
Sweethearts
SAIRA MUELLER SNUGGLED A CHEETAH.
FOR REAL.
S
is similar to a very big open-range zoo and
tepping onto my flight
is a great contrast to Kruger in South Africa.
all alone I had no idea
Not only did we get chased down the road by a
what to expect on the other herd of elephants, we also stopped a meter away
from a full-grown male lion resting under a tree.
side. I was travelling to two
VISITING A LOCAL VILLAGE
countries; one I knew nothing
I would definitely recommend doing this with a
about and the other is often the local guide who speaks the language so you can
better understand the Swazi way of life.
subject of news reports due to
its violence. What I found on
SOUTH AFRICA
arrival was that both Swaziland My
first stop in South Africa was one night in
and South Africa have an
Johannesburg. Driving to our hotel I noticed that
all the houses had big fences with barbed wire at
abundance of sexy accents,
the top. On arrival we were warned not to leave
breathtaking scenery, amazing
the complex where we were spending the night.
While it was an ominous note it also served as
wildlife and lovely people.
SWAZILAND
fair warning and kept us on guard whenever
we were out, especially at night.
My first two hours in Swaziland consisted of
sitting in the back of a bakkie (a big militarystyle ute) with six people I had only met the
night before, in torrential rain. The downpour
was not altogether unexpected as the summer
months are also the wettest, but the amazing
time I had in Swaziland was.
I spent two weeks camping out in the
bush with no electricity or mirrors. While this
might sound like a horrible way to spend your
holiday I often find myself missing the peaceful
uncomplicatedness of Swaziland.
KRUGER NATIONAL PARK
The wildlife, typical African savannah scenery
and thrill of the game drive reach their pinnacle
in Kruger which is 19,633 square kilometres
in total. Set aside at least two full days here
so you can do day drives and night drives,
giving you the best chance at seeing the “Big 5”
(buffalo, elephant, lion, leopard and rhinoceros),
among other animals.
CAMPING IN MLAWULA NATURE RESERVE
Situated in the Lubombo district, this is
where I spent most of my time. Not only
are you likely to see warthogs and baboons
around the campsite, it has a great view of the
Mbuluzi Game Reserve below. The best part
was definitely the open outdoor shower on
the cliff-side, which overlooks the savannah
and the occasional giraffe. Shower at sunset
for an indescribable experience.
TSITSIKAMMA NATIONAL PARK
Besides the great walking trails there are a
number of adventure sports you can do in this
area. If you fancy yourself a daredevil I would
recommend the world’s highest commercial
bridge bungee, Bloukrans Bridge, at 216 metres.
For those who may want to stay a bit closer to
the ground try zip-lining through the trees.
DOING A GAME DRIVE (THE PHRASE USED FOR
ANIMAL SAFARIS) IN HLANE ROYAL NATIONAL PARK
Owned by the King of Swaziland, this park
JEFFREY’S BAY (LOCALS CALL IT J-BAY)
Beautiful beaches, a relaxed attitude and plenty
of good company pretty much say it all.
CAPE TOWN
There is something for everyone here, whether
it’s adrenaline-packed, relaxing or reviewing
history. Climb Table Mountain and then
abseil off it. If you have time, and the weather
is fine, go diving with the great white sharks
or skydiving. Visit a township to see how the
different social classes live – definitely do this
with a local guide for inside knowledge and
someone that speaks the languages. Visit an
apartheid museum or Robben Island for some
South African history.
VISIT A WILDLIFE PARK
Just north of Pretoria are many amazing wildlife
sanctuaries, this is where I visited both the
cheetah and lion parks. Before picking one,
please do your research, as many lion parks sell
their lions to top-paying trophy hunters once
they get too big for the main tourist drawcard
of taking pictures with lion cubs.
TIPS AND HINTS
•AustralianandNewZealandcitizenscan
enterSouthAfricawithoutavisaforupto
90days
•EatataBraai–theSouthAfricanversion
ofaBBQ
•Visitamarketplaceforlocalwares.Just
rememberthatyoucan’tbringuntreated
woodenobjectsbackintoAustralia
•EatatMamaAfricainCapeTowntotry
unusualfoodssuchascrocodileandostrich
•Ifyou’reacoffeeorteafanyouhavetotry
rusks(adrybiscuitusedfordipping)
•Pickupsomemalariatablets.Theriskis
greatestfromOctobertoMaybutisstill
thereallyearround,especiallyinKruger
AFRIKAANS WORDS
English – Afrikaans (Pronunciation)
Hello–Hallo(Hallo)
Thankyou–Dankie(Dunkee)
Please–Asseblief(Assablif)
Howmuch–Hoeveel(Hoofeels)
No–Nee(Near)
Yes–Ja(Yar)
Canyoutakeaphoto–Kanjy’nfotoneem
(kanyeefutuneum)
24
BULL USU.EDU.AU
CAMPUS CHATTER
CAMPUS
CHATTER
TO JACK GOW,
I’M NOT A
STALKER,
BUT...
TO THE PROFESSOR WITH
THE DREADLOCKS AND BAREFEET,
I’d get you high any time...
Happy Pants
DEAR USYD CONFESSIONS,
Where have you gone? ‘Why did
you leave?’ I miss you and your
slightly inferior sidekick dynamic.
Come back, I promise we won't
fight no more.
USYD Spotted
Every time I see you,
I'm on the verge of
climax.You can touch my
domes any time.
Love, JR
DEAR JOHN,
Can I meet your parents? They
must have the most amazing genes
to have produced such a beautiful
specimen like you. I’ll be warming
up the oven until you’re ready to
bake a cake of your own.
Betty Cock-er
HEY YOU!
SOMEONE YOU
WANT TO WOO
AND/OR PASSIVELYAGGRESSIVELY
COMPLAIN ABOUT?
SEND US YOUR
STALKER MESSAGES:
USUBULLMAG@
GMAIL.COM
DEAR ALICE,
Girl, you’re so fly I want to smack
you with my ‘swat’. Summer is
coming, and the heat is rising – do
you have something to do with it
being so hot?
Buzzing
DEAR JEWISH MAN,
You can touch me in the swimsuit
area, and do more if you like.
I promise it’ll be Kosher.
Mazel tov!
DEAR DARLIN’,
Please excuse my writing. I can’t
stop my hands from shaking! Stop
plagiarising my lyrics, BULL.
Olly Murs
DEAR BULL EDITORS,
Thanks for being so great this year.
What an amazing bunch of people.
Love, Definitely not the
BULL Editors
VOX POPS
QUESTION
MATTHEW LEWIS OR
ROBERT PATTINSON?
DIANA
ARTS (MEDIA &
COMMUNICATIONS) III
Matthew Lewis for sure, he’s
gone from ‘would not bang’
to ‘waiting in line to bang’.
KRISTY
COMMERCE, I
Matthew. He can be
the broomstick between
my legs any day.
LAWRENCE
ARTS, IV
Robert Pattinson. I’m
always Team Edward.
ISSUE 08
CAMPUS CHATTER
PLEASE,
HAVE
A COW
GOT BEEF WITH
SOMETHING?
SPILL YOUR GUTS IN
300 WORDS OR LESS
TO USUBULLMAG@
GMAIL.COM
25
MARY WARD
IS NOT A FAN OF LIBRARY
COLONIALISM.
So, you’re in the library, off to
do a spot of study. They should
just give you the Rhodes now.
But, as you walk past the rows of
desks, you realise that something
is stopping you. The desks have
been colonised.
Library colonialism is a
year-round problem, but its
prevalence peaks around
STUVAC. It involves the
deliberate abandonment of
one’s possessions on a library
desk, reserving said desk so that
one is free to come and go as
one wishes. Or just go, and
return five minutes before the
library shuts. As nearly every
one of these ‘ones’ appears to do.
Students/emperors participating
in The Scramble for Level
Four Fisher settle for spots with
attributes similar to those valued by
their 19th Century counterparts.
Resources are secured through
proximity to power points and
desktop computers. (Interestingly,
if the coloniser is in possession
of a laptop, this seems to only
increase the importance of settling
somewhere with exclusive access
to a desktop computer.)
Defence is also prioritised.
Spots that are ‘desk-locked’, or
within a 15 metre radius of any
area zoned for the primitive
pastime of ‘group work’, are
an instant veto. *Shudders* If
there’s a desk you might actually
want to sit at, you can bet these
SUNRISE
TODAY
EMMA HORN’S ENTIRE FAMILY IS
NAMED AFTER THIS SECTION OF BULL
Today’s Karl Stefanovic would probably be
more comfortable wearing a tool belt than
a suit, but he’s nothing if not entertaining.
Whoever let him near the Dalai Lama may
have wanted to reconsider in hindsight, but hey,
who doesn’t want to be “one with everything?”
He’s certainly better value than Sunrise’s
cliché-a-minute Kochie.
Today’s neon orange, hangover-aggravating
set looks better than Sunrise’s , too. On Sunrise,
all I see is a frantically-waving crowd of
morons behind the Martin Place set. This
does nothing to restore my faith in humanity
in the early morning.
When it comes to names and marketability,
there’s no competition either. Today sounds
better than Sunrise. No-one wants to be
reminded that they’re awake at whatever
ungodly hour the sun decides to get up.
“Welcome to Today” is so much more effective
than “Welcome to Sunrise”. The first endears
me – I’ve been welcomed into a new day;
the latter leaves me with a confusion-induced
migraine, trying to work out that grammar.
A bit like Kochie I guess.
Whatever your preference though, I’m
fairly sure we all agree that, both options are far
superior to the defunct Mornings With KerriAnne. That show was not conducive to keeping
my hurriedly consumed breakfast down. *vom*.
New New Imperialists have got
their hands on it.
But, thankfully, the
natives are rebelling. Sydney
University libraries have recently
announced a crackdown on
library colonialism. When library
staff members see unattended
belongings, they can leave a
‘courtesy note’ for the offender.
If the belongings are still there
after one hour, they’re removed.
Game over, AgeofEmpiresfan91.
This exam season, do what’s
right. Keep our libraries colony
free. Because if I catch sight of
your settlement, I’ll be reacting
with a whole lot more than a
‘courtesy note’.
LOCKING
HORNS
TODAY
VS.
SUNRISE
ALISHA AITKEN-RADBURN
DOES NOT WAKE UP WITH TODAY.
Ever since Cheez TV tragically disappeared
from screens in 2005, Sunrise has been crucial
to my morning routine. David Koch – or
Kochie to ‘Sunrisers’ – is a veteran of the trade.
While I would love to have a beer with Today’s
Karl Stefanovic (and I’m assuming he’d love one
with me, following his drunken appearance after
the Logies) he just doesn’t have comparable
experience to my main man Kochie.
Sunrise has an incredibly strong team,
from sporting expert Mark Beretta to Nelson
Aspen, reporting on the most pertinent celebrity
gossip. Nelson easily surpasses Channel Nine’s
Richard Reid in the flamboyant entertainment
reporter stakes, simply because he manages
the role without seeming to have an excitementinduced seizure over Brangelina every 5 seconds.
This is not to forget one of the most
integral members of the Sunrise family – the
Cash Cow. Today has never been able to pull
off a great cash promo. Think back to that
time Karl offered a traumatised contestant
a fruit hamper after they’d just lost $20,000.
The Cash Cow would never be that sadistic.
With these aspects considered, it
is undeniable that Sunrise is the supreme
breakfast option. But as long as you’re not
watching ABC News Breakfast, you’re winning.
BRACE YOURSELVES...
SUMMER IS
COMING
NEW LION RANGE // NOW AVAILABLE AT UNIMART
28
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
LANE SAINTY SLEPT IN AGAIN.
E
very night before she goes to sleep, Emma, an Arts
student at the University of Sydney, spends about half
an hour browsing Facebook on her phone. There are a
few exceptions, of course – like the nights she spends bashing
out an overdue assignment, eschewing sleep entirely. Or on the
weekend, when she usually goes out drinking and sleeps until the
early afternoon. “My sleeping patterns are terrible,” she admits.
“They can sometimes get close to regular during the week if
I’m not too busy, but that usually falls apart on the weekend.”
ISSUE 08
FEATURE
29
THE MOST
CONCLUSIVE WAY
OF COMBATING THESE
NEGATIVE INFLUENCES
ON SLEEP IS SIMPLE:
STEP AWAY FROM
THE PHONE.
Emma isn’t alone. Students, often juggling a
mixture of study, casual work, and a social life,
are notoriously inconsistent sleepers. When
classes and work shifts begin at different times
every day, it’s difficult to adopt a regular pattern
of sleep. And, somewhat alarmingly, it’s not
only a cranky demeanor and a desire for coffee
that come from a night of staring at the ceiling.
Studies have linked long term sleep deprivation
to weight gain, mental illness, cardiovascular
disease and other serious health issues. Luckily
for most students, it doesn’t go this far, but it’s
still a good idea to look at the potential hurdles
of getting a solid nine hours while living the
student life.
WHAT IS SLEEP, ANYWAY?
Although everybody sleeps, we are unable to
be self-aware during the process, meaning that
the specifics of slumber remain, to an extent,
arcane. An easy definition of sleep is that it is
a period of reduced activity and consciousness
that is easily reversible, with that last point
included to differentiate sleep from other states
of reduced consciousness, such as being in
a coma. The way we sleep is cyclical, rolling
through various sleep phases throughout the
night that differ according to how deeply asleep
we are. These phases are sorted into two groups:
rapid eye movement (REM) and non rapid
eye movement (NREM).
True to its name, the movement of our
eyes underneath our eyelids distinguishes REM
sleep. It is a phase of light sleeping in which
most vivid dreaming occurs and we experience
muscle paralysis. NREM sleep, which has a few
different phases, involves no such eye movement
and no muscle paralysis, meaning it’s in this
phase that things like somnambulism occur.
NREM sleep also includes the deepest sleep
phase, known as short wave sleep.
WHY CAN’T I SLEEP WHEN I’M DRUNK?
Emma says that she almost always sleeps badly
after she’s been drinking. “I’ll be falling asleep
on the way home and can’t wait to get to bed,
but then I wake up so many times during
the night,” she says. This is a common, but
sometimes confusing, experience, considering
that alcohol is a depressant that sends you into
a stupor if you’ve had too much.
However, when you’re under the influence,
you tend to fall directly into a deep, NREM
sleep, and in the first few hours of your sleep,
avoid going through the several REM cycles
that would normally occur in that time. This
lack of REM sleep leaves you feeling groggy
in the morning.Your heartbeat is elevated, and
because you’ve been drinking, your sympathetic
nervous system does not shut down properly
for the night, waking you up earlier than you
otherwise would.
This explains why Emma’s slumber is so
disrupted after a night out, despite wanting
nothing more than her head to hit the pillow
on the way home. The bad news? Other than
the commonsensical advice of not drinking
too much in the first place, there’s little you
can do to prevent a bad sleep due to alcohol.
Just understand that it happens and don’t do
it too often.
SURVIVING THE ALL-NIGHTER
Pulling an all-nighter is another common
disruption to student sleep, with all but the most
dedicated of students arming themselves with
caffeine galore and their laptop at some point
in their degree. However, despite the boastful
claims of some that they can function easily on
very little sleep the next day, the possibility of
actually being in this ‘sleepless elite’ is quite low.
In the Wall Street Journal, Melinda Beck
wrote about these short sleepers, pointing out
that in actual fact, only 1-3 per cent of the
population is able to happily function on a tiny
amount of sleep every night. Most people who
think they can get by on just a few hours are
30
BULL
BU
LL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
STUDENTS,
OFTEN JUGGLING
A MIXTURE OF
CASUAL WORK,
PLAY AND STUDY,
ARE NOTORIOUSLY
INCONSISTENT
SLEEPERS.
actually sleep deprived, and not functioning
at full capacity.
Genetics factor heavily into how much
sleep we need and can determine whether we
are early risers or night owls — so no matter
how much you try to train yourself to sleep
less, it’s probably not going to happen. Take the
all-nighter when you need it, but unless you’re
that lucky fraction of the population who are
genetically disposed to short sleeps, you won’t
be able to do it night after night.
TECH HEAD, NO BED?
Drunkards and procrastinators aside,
the biggest deterrent to students getting an
adequate amount of sleep is undoubtedly
technology. As everything moves online and
we witness the demise of print media, physical
interaction and basic conversational skills, our
relationship with screens is rapidly becoming
more obsessive. Obviously, having a phone
next to your bed that could ring or beep at any
time is a potential sleep interrupter. A growing
tendency to browse Facebook, Reddit and
Tumblr late into the night instead of sleeping
during that time is another issue.
But one less obvious way that phones,
laptops and other backlit devices disturb your
sleep has to do with the levels of a hormone
called melatonin in our brains. In a nutshell,
melatonin makes us sleepy, and the production
of this hormone is suppressed by blue, or
‘daytime’ light, which convinces our brain that it
is daytime and we should be awake. More often
than not, it is daytime, and this process works
beautifully. However, the growing trend to go to
bed with a backlit device is marring this process
and leading our brains to believe it is daytime
when it is not. This leads to the suppression of
melatonin in the hours before bedtime, and a
consequent difficulty in falling asleep for many.
The most conclusive way of combating
these negative influences on sleep is simple:
step away from the phone. This advice is doled
out frequently, but, it seems, nobody ever listens.
Except, that is, for Tom, a third year science
student at Sydney University. After reading an
article on how screens affect sleep, Tom decided
to try hanging up his phone and putting away
his laptop for at least an hour before bed.
“It’s usually roughly an hour, as I don’t go to
bed at the same time every night,” he says.
“Depending on how tired I am, at some point
during the evening, I’ll put my phone on to
charge in another room, turn it to silent and
forget about it.”
Tom says that he has noticed a difference in
his sleep since he gave up the gadgets. “It’s not
easy to measure, but I do feel like I have been
falling asleep more quickly, and generally feeling
less tired in the morning,” he says. “There’s less
counting sheep!” However, he thinks it might
be a combination of adjusting his late night
exposure to blue light, and other, more obvious,
benefits: “I’d often stay up really late just on
Facebook, not really doing anything. Putting
away the laptop has meant I’m not doing that
anymore, which is good.”
Luckily, if you lack Tom’s willpower,
there are other things that can help. The
application f.lux, installable on phone, tablets
and computers, changes the colour of the light
emanating from your screen depending on what
time of day it is. The website reads “f.lux makes
your computer screen look like the room you’re
in, all the time. When the sun sets, it makes
your computer look like your indoor lights.
In the morning, it makes things look like sunlight
again.” This makes it easier for you to sleep
after using your computer late at night, and can
also make it easier on your eyes. If you’re into
eBooks, non-backlit devices such as Kindles are
much better to use prior to sleep than iPads or
other tablets.
In some cases, technology has evolved to
actually help you get a better night of sleep.
The Sleep Cycle app detects when you are in
a light phase of sleep and wakes you at some
point in a thirty-minute window before your
alarm. It uses the accelerometer in iPhones
to detect your movements, which differ from
phase to phase. This is helpful because waking
up from deep sleep can leave you feeling groggy,
even if you’ve had an adequate amount of hours.
Yes, you might get twenty minutes less than you
anticipated — but you’ll feel as though you
had more.
These advancements in technology are
helpful, though in part, for combating problems
that technology itself created in the first place.
Although the efforts of students like Tom are
admirable, it’s unlikely that behaviours will
change on a mass scale to give up phones,
tablets and laptops before bed. We could see an
increase in advancements like f.lux, or, in an
equally likely scenario, that coffee queue could
just keep on getting longer.
13 February 2014
17 March 2014
1 April 2014
VOLUNTEE
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THERE IS A
SUPERHERO
IN ALL OF US
S
U
ER
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VOLUNTE
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SU
R
U
S
11 November 2013
29 January 2014
SU
Program Starts
23 October 2013
U
Enrolment Session
U
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Volunteer Today
Registration is easy.
Simply email us at
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32
BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
JOHN ROWLEY EXPLORES THE PITFALLS
AND PERKS OF BEING A STAGE MUM.
I
n a high school auditorium, four women
are perched on a makeshift podium,
clipboards at the ready. In front of them
is a raised stage. Beside and behind the four
Eisteddfod judges sit hundreds of spectators.
Some are in full make-up, their tutus and
neon leotards fitted just so in preparation for
three and a half minutes of stage time.
ISSUE 08 33
FEATURE
“You can tell they
are living vicariously
through their child.”
Men snooze, having sat through dance after
dance for hours on end at the volition of their
spouses and children. Some women snooze,
too. But others sit dead upright, screening
their daughters for flaws in their makeup or
scrutinising each dance troupe as they take
to the stage.
The latter category of parents have
become widely known as stage mums.
They’re not confined to the realm of dance,
though reality TV certainly has a penchant
for routine-learning matriarchs. Stage mothers
can be found in just about any field within
the entertainment industry.
Stage parenting is hardly a new
phenomenon. Behind almost every child star,
from Shirley Temple to Justin Timberlake to
Lindsay Lohan, has been a parent variously
described as supportive, encouraging, and
domineering. But only in the last few years
have these parents become particularly visible
– arguably more so than the offspring whose
burgeoning careers they strive to advance.
The classic stage mum is an over-involved
parent whose own dreams of stardom never
materialised. Darren Ashton played on
this stereotype in his 2004 mockumentary
Razzle Dazzle, which satirises the competitive
Eisteddfod scene. He says that a defining quality
of stage mums is that “you can tell they are
living vicariously through their child”.
Dr. Marc De Rosnay is a Senior Lecturer
in Psychology, and proposes a similar theory.
“Many of these parents are pushing their
children to have skills and capacities that they
themselves don’t have,” he says. However,
De Rosnay is also quick to note that “the
motives [behind stage parenting] can be
quite various.”
“Often [parents] seize on activities that
the child seems to enjoy. And then it becomes
reinforcing – ‘the kid likes it, and she wants to
do better, so I’m just helping her. I’m doing
everything I can to enhance and cultivate the
thing it is that my child loves’.”
Stage mums might have other, more
pragmatic motivations, too. Kick-starting a
child’s career might only be a means to the (very
rarely achieved) ends of money, perceived social
betterment, and a glamorous, jet-setting lifestyle.
In her time, Shanni Chew has seen a few
pushy parents. Chew has been dancing since
the age of two, and while she now studies a
Commerce/Science degree, she maintains
a rigorous schedule of dance rehearsals and
Eisteddfod participation. She is able to easily
rattle off a list of traits common to stage mums.
She describes them as “really loud, really
over-enthusiastic about tiny things”. Chew also
says that they tend to be “overly helpful,” but
potentially with “underlying motives when they
do things for other people.”
Another key identifier of stage mums is
the amount of time they spend at rehearsals.
In Chew’s specific field of dance, this commitment
results in a small sect of mothers who “know
exactly what is going on”. “When a mum knows
the dance as much as you do, they’re a dance
mum,” she says.
This over-involvement can prove taxing
for a number of parties. Natalie* runs a youth
talent agency in Sydney, and is careful to screen
potential stage mums as part of her interview
process. “If we feel like they are going to be too
much hard work,” she says, “we won’t take them
on – the parent, that is.”
Natalie’s measure is understandable, given
that it is the parent’s responsibility to “transport
[their child] to castings and shoots, get them
ready for what they’ve got to do on set, read
through scripts with them and prepare them
for performances”. Because they’re around so
much, parents of elite young performers need
to be manageable and malleable.
34 BULL USU.EDU.AU
FEATURE
It’s also vital that parents know when to give
their child some space. Natalie says that “a lot
of the time [kids] actually perform better when
the parent’s not there.”
Parents who encourage their children to
dip their toes into showbiz have become an
easy target for critics. Darren Ashton says that
“everybody has an opinion on parenting –
even if you’re not a parent.”
The women seen on the
likes of Dance Moms represent the
extremes of stage parenting –
Natalie calls them “a breed
of their own”. Despite
this, we take some
pleasure in tarnishing
all parents involved in the
entertainment industry’s
junior sector with the
same brush.
However, Ashton believes
that empathy also contributes
to our interest. All parents,
he says, are “blinkered when
it comes to your own children”.
“Even the most balanced parent
still looks at their own child with
rose-coloured glasses, to some extent.
What you have is just degrees of that.”
So when we laugh at the delusions of
others, we’re in some ways acknowledging the
intrinsic favouritism that comes with parenting.
The fascination, then, is also linked to our own
experiences of parental pushiness. We’ve all been
enrolled in sports teams or music ensembles
against our will. It’s an accepted rite of passage
for most kids. “When you’re younger, parents
just push you to do that sort of thing,”
says Shanni.
Another criticism frequently levelled at
stage mums is their lack of concern about issues
of consent. Often, parental pressure can result
in the unwilling continuation of a particular
activity. Dr De Rosnay says that children
may feel obligated to keep attending lessons,
competitions or castings “in order to keep the
parent’s approval and love. So then they feel
dreadfully trapped.”
The line between encouragement and
pressure is unquestionably blurred. De Rosnay
says that “good parenting involves times when
you have to be highly invested and pushy.”
Retrospect and revisionism often make
things even more ambiguous. Shanni Chew
says of her experiences that she was
“pushed into it” initially. In addition to
between 12 and 15 hours of weekly dance
lessons, Chew took on an agent.
“My mum wanted me to do casting calls
and performances, whatever I could.
Whatever I had the time for, really.”
Although this might set some people’s teeth
on edge, Shanni is hardly bitter. If anything, she
seems grateful for the opportunities her mother
presented her with. Chew has maintained a
strong fondness for dance, even harbouring
some desire to defer university to undertake
full-time courses. Her positive experiences have
well and truly counterbalanced any parental
pushiness. “Because I loved it,” she says,
“there wasn’t any sort of pressure”.
Darren Ashton says that cases like
Shanni’s are overwhelmingly the norm.
“I think it sort of works itself out, in a funny
way,” he says. If the child is inclined towards
performance, they’ll take the baton from their
parents and run with it. If not, they’ll employ
pester power to weasel their way out of parents’
plans. Obviously this isn’t the case for children
whose parents sign their lives over to
reality television producers, but
again – they’re the exception,
not the rule.
According to Ashton,
not even the most rigorous
of stage parents can force
unwilling children to devote
themselves to the pursuit
of stardom. “If the kids
don’t want to do it, then that
becomes really evident,” he
says. “I’ve seen it happen at
Eisteddfods, where the kid just
doesn’t go out, or they walk out
and then they walk off.”
Given our current fixation with
interfering mothers, it’s easy to forget
the equally vocal male equivalent: soccer
dads. On first thought, it seems these
field-hoverers get an easier time of it than
their wives. But Darren Ashton says it’s
more a case of swings and roundabouts.
“There are periods when it’s all over the
media, where fathers have been banned from
sports matches, and referees have the right to
tell parents to leave the grounds,” he says. Then
the overzealous wannabe coaches disappear
from the headlines, leaving stage mums to take
their turn in the spotlight.
Some aspects of stage parenting seem to
render it comparable to other strains of ‘overparenting’ – the stereotypes of helicopter mums,
tiger mums and hot-housing parents come to
mind. But, as with all of these roles, perhaps the
emphasis stage parents place on being everpresent and super-vigilant is understandable.
Earlier this year, Grant Davis, the owner
of a prestigious dance studio in Sydney’s Inner
West, was arrested following allegations of sexual
abuse spanning a decade. In August, a mother
whose two daughters attended the studio was
charged with producing and distributing child
abuse material involving them. Any parent could
be excused for wanting to keep a watchful eye
on their kids, given these developments.
Natalie says that on balance, the vast
majority of children’s involvement in showbiz –
and their parent’s role in that – is of benefit.
“I think it can be a really good thing,” she says.
“It does actually bring kids out of their shell,
and it can be fun.” Shanni agrees that, if the
motivations are right, then stage mums are
anything but harmful. “It’s okay to be a stage
mum,” she says. “It’s okay to want to get
involved.”
*Name has been changed.
ISSUE 08
FASHION
E
verybody
knows wearing
double denim
is a fashion faux
pas, right? It’s
tacky, clashes with
everything and is a
terrible throwback to
decades past of truly
appalling fashion.
But some Sydney University
students have been subverting
the rule of the fashion gods and
donning denim both bottom and
top. What’s more – they’ve been
looking pretty good.
It takes a special person to pull
off double denim, but there are
some pro tips that can help the
amateur wearer. Try out wearing
different shades of denim for your
first go – for instance, mixing black
jeans with a blue jacket.
For the more advanced
double denim wearer, you could
try matching similar shades. But
if you’re doing this, avoid sky blue
denim at any cost, or somebody
will mistake you for a child actor in
a 90s television show.
However, the most important
thing to do when wearing double
denim is to wear it with confidence.
If you rock your outfit with enough
swagger, nobody’s going to pull
you up on it, unless it’s truly,
unbelievably terrible.
It’s a risky choice, but it’s one
that can be pulled off with just a
little bit of effort. But make sure
you check yourself out before you
walk out the door, or you could be
sporting an outfit as truly terrible
as Britney and Justin’s denim
disaster at the 2001 American
Music Awards. Look it up.You
won’t be disappointed.
35
Double Denim
LANE SAINTY DIGS THIS DAGGY TREND.
GILA SEGALL
LIZ KEAN
ROBBY MAGYAR
ARTS (HONS)
MASTERS OF EDUCATION
ARTS III
Jeans: General Pants
Shirt: Cream on King
Jacket: Belongs to my girlfriend
Sandals: Wittner in Broadway
Thoughts on rocking double
denim: Don’t even let yourself
consider that it could be a faux pas.
If you don’t mention it, nobody
else will. Just smile and pretend
you’re wearing something socially
acceptable. Real Parisians.
Jeans: Jeanswest
Singlet: Unsure!
Vest: Bought second hand and
modified it for roller derby.
Shoes: hhhmmm dunno..
denim: I have no qualms with
wearing double denim. It’s really
comfortable. Plus, you don’t
have to wash denim as often,
so that’s a bonus!
Denim shirt: General Pants
T-shirt: General Pants
Jeans: Cotton On
Shoes: Vans from General Pants
denim: I rock double denim all the
time. I live in this over-shirt and
I’m always wearing jeans, so it just
happens at least three times a week.
36
BULL USU.EDU.AU
SPORT
SPORT
TOP 5 PAID
SPORTS STARS
(FORBES 2013)
TIGER WOODS
Pay: $78.1 M
Salary/Winnings: $13.1 M
Endorsements: $65 M
Sport: Golf
ROGER FEDERER
Pay: $71.5 M
Endorsements: $65 M
Sport: Tennis
KOBE BRYANT
Pay: $61.9 M
Endorsements: $34 M
Sport: Basketball
LEBRON JAMES
Pay: $59.8 M
Endorsements: $42 M
Sport: Basketball
DREW BREES
Pay: $51M
Salary/Winnings: $40 M
Endorsements: $11M
Sport: Football
Public Disgrace and
Private Sponsorship
FELIX DONOVAN ON THE RESILIENCY
OF SPORTS STARS’ MARKETING POWER.
A
fter Tiger Woods drove his car into a tree just outside
his home at 2.30am one night in 2009, ‘newspapers’
began to excavate his private life. Gossipers paid as
journalists wrote speculation in nationally syndicated columns.
Then the real stories came forward, not in drips but in waves,
of affairs with Las Vegas waitresses and Los Angeles porn stars.
People of good conscience wondered how he could have lived
this lascivious secret life for so long, and what would happen
now to his family. Economists questioned if he would be able
to cling to the multi-million dollar contracts that had made
him the world’s highest paid athlete.
As Gatorade and then Gillette dropped him
from their advertising, it seemed a foregone
conclusion that the public image of Tiger Woods
had been irredeemably damaged. For a decade,
companies had cast Woods as a paragon of focus,
discipline, and self-control, always able to sink
the birdie putt on the 18th hole. The amatory
excesses in his private life proved the lie of this
myth, and it appeared to be the end for Tiger
as a brand.
Nike was the only major company not to
cut and run during Woods’ very public personal
breakdown. It was heavily criticised for not doing
so, and some spurious dots were drawn between
the company’s sponsorship decision and its
marketing slogan ‘Just Do It’.
This March, Nike launched a new campaign
built around the slogan, ‘Winning Takes Care of
Everything’. For the first time in four years, they
used Woods as the campaign’s face. They did
so despite the unique meaning of the statement
when paired with him and the fact that people
don’t trust or like him – surveys of public
opinion put Woods on par with Mike Tyson
and Ozzy Osborne.Yet Nike’s decision proved
prescient: sales in its golf range soared to a fouryear high (the previous peak came weeks before
Woods’ fall from grace). Woods is, once again,
the highest paid athlete in any sport.
The Woods story is only an aberration
in degree. LeBron James, the Miami Heat’s
superstar, earns over $20m every year from a
deal he signed with Nike. For its part, Nike sold
more than $300m worth of LeBron’s signature
basketball shoe in 2012 alone. Nike’s scouts
knew LeBron’s potential worth even before he
entered the NBA, but he was unable to sign a
sponsorship deal while still in high school, so they
left him with the keys to a new Mercedes.
These deals don’t end at a dollar-for-dollar
transaction. Nike doesn’t just want to leverage
LeBron’s profile as it exists now, or as it existed
when they signed with him back in 2003,
they want to build that profile, so that there is
more to leverage going forward. In 2005, they
launched their ‘Witness’ campaign, centred on
the greatness of LeBron James. Nike bought out
an entire side of the Cleveland stadium LeBron
played his home games in, and draped from it a
banner that was ten stories tall and twice as wide.
On it, a messianic photo of LeBron and
the words, ‘We Are All Witnesses’.
When LeBron went on primetime television
to tell the nation that he was “taking his talents
to South Beach” and transferring to the Miami
Heat, Cleveland fans burnt effigies and wrote
‘Traitor’ on their James jerseys. LeBron was
attacked on TV and in the papers for abandoning
his team in a fashion that was egomaniacal and
graceless. But Nike only increased the value of
his contract. And its sales skyrocketed; the myth
of LeBron James still moved shoes and jerseys
from shopping racks.
Scandals are supposed to ruin celebrities,
and they usually do. But sports stars seem
remarkably resilient in the face of intense public
dislike. At the same time, we do care about
the personality of sports players. How do they
respond to loss? Do they care about team
success, not just individual accolades? When
there are five seconds on the clock and their team
is down by one, do they want the ball? It may just
be that we only care about their personality in
the game. If an athlete is tenacious and graceful
and fierce on the field, if they care about their
teammates and their fans, it seems we (or at
least, we as the focus group result on the
desk of Nike executives) don’t mind about
their values and behaviour off the field.
ISSUE 08
SCIENCE & TECH
SCIENCE & TECH
iOS 7 Heaven
AL CHALMERS STEPS US THROUGH THE UPGRADE.
i
OS 7 is the most significant software update since the
iPhone first fell from the sky into our palms. Advertised as
being a ‘new chapter for iOS’ (R.I.P Steve Jobs), if you’re
waiting for the 7.1 version to alleviate any glitches, don’t.
The right time is now.
FLATTER INTERFACE
The iOS 7 update is not purely aesthetical but
for most iPhone users, appearance is important.
The bubbles of your blue and white iMessage
conversations have been flattened, the app icons
are now 2D and the keypad has less drop shadow.
Interestingly, this flatter redesign has placed
pressure on app developers to also upgrade with
WhatsApp and Skype experiencing a drop in
ratings as a result of not keeping up.
The altogether cleaner interface puts
functionality at the forefront of the way you use
your phone. One for the Tumblr crew among you,
backgrounds are more dynamic and you can even
set your lockscreen to a background that moves!
The parallax effect will drain your battery life
though so if you can’t charge regularly give it a miss.
But, it’s true, iOS 7 isn’t for everyone.
Die-hard apple fans have hit Tumblr and Twitter
to scream into the void that they hate what Jony Ive
has done to their beloved. Jony Ive – even his name
is aggressively uncluttered. No double Ns here.
Probably lives in a loft.Your first date with Jony
Ive would be white water rafting and your second
would be a cheese room. The redesign is minimalist
to the point that it’s noisy. Any time your iPhone
displays text, it now does so with a super-skinny
grayscale sans-serif.
PASTEL SHADES
The most divisive element of the redesign is the
colour scheme. Apple’s work with colours has
rivalled pantone since the iPod Nano first came
out in beautiful metallic pink, green and blue.
They were vibrant and young. iOS 7 rejects the
old palette and introduces a fiesta of pastels and
gradients that, to some, look like a watercolour
threw up. Tumblr delivered a superb retaliation
to Jony Ive’s pastelification of a once-great colour
scheme, launching jonyiveredesignsthings.tumblr.
com, which renders iconic and beautiful designs in
Ive’s Year Eight, PowerPoint pink-to-green gradient.
The Swiss flag, the Nike logo, the Game of Thrones
credits, the Coca-Cola logo and dozens more are
flattened and turned neon. If you can deal with the
results then you can deal with the upgrade.
iOS 7 was released a day before the iPhone
5c, a plastic alternative to the iPhone 5 and 5s. The
gripes from fans about colours continued – Apple
announced the 5c would come in a series of shades
but there was a concerted push away from the old
hues of iPods and monochromes. The pink is now
closer to salmon, but an unwell salmon, badly cooked.
The yellow is jaundiced and pale, and the blue is a
school uniform designer’s idea of a youthful colour.
NEW FEATURES
Redesign aside, the upgrade carries a whole heap
of useful features that you previously would have
had to jailbreak your phone to get access to. The
lowest-hanging fruit of such improvements is the
flashlight tool – a super simple app that keeps
the ‘flash’ function of the camera on in perpetuity,
turning your phone into a torch. The flashlight is
now a native app. The next is a simple ‘block’ tool
in your contact list. Add someone to the blocked list
from inside your phonebook and you’ll receive no
texts, calls, or notifications from that person until
you decide to take them off the block list. Perfect
for the ex and no Cydia or jailbreaking required.
Another feature that is of some concern to civil
liberty advocates is the fingerprint-unlock tool;
record your fingerprint and only it will work on the
“slide to unlock” tool. No longer will you resort to
leaving an eyelash on your lock screen while you take
a shower to see if your partner reads your messages.
Admittedly there are a few bugs to iron out;
Bluetooth and the Store crash regularly if there’s
an apostrophe in your phone’s name (as in, John’s
Phone) and an early bug let people get past your
lock screen. Apple will iron them out and most
have since been fixed.
If you can get past the sodapop colour scheme,
iOS 7 will be a force for good in your life. And let’s
face it, iOS 6 will go the way of the iPod Touch did
before too long.
Ctrl
Alt
Del
TONE ABET
ToneAbetsprungfromnowhere
onefineelectionmorninganddove
rightintothemurkyswamplandthat
is#auspolonsocialmedia.Tone
Abethasaheadlikeathumb,no
facialsymmetry,earsonthetopof
hisheadandunblinkinghellholes
foreyes.
ToneAbetspeaksinthechatspeak
ofearly-2005MSNmessagesand
theNokiasmsera.IntheToneAbet
universeeveryoneisanMS-paint
renderingoftheirownlikeness.
RupertMurdak,kevenosevunand
JulaGilerdallcreatedemocrasyin
theonlineworld.Toneannounceda
seriesofpoliciesincluding“althos
whodunevnliftwilbexecuted.”
BULLeditorshadaspatover
whetherit’s“ToneAy-bet”or
“ToneA-Bette”butitdoesn’tmatter
enormously;aftertherealTony
wontheelection,Tone’sfacebook
pageannouncedthat“sinseihav
agovement2runIwilnolongrhav
tym4fasebuk”.Tonepls:(
37
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CA
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FUN A
SPeCIAL
WEDNESDAY 30 OCTOBER 12-2pm, Eastern Avenue
FAIRY FLOSS, SNOW CONES,
BEAT THE SYSTEM AND PHOTOBOOTH.
www.usu.edu.au
facebook.com/USUCampusCulture
[email protected]
The ACCESS Desk T:9563 6000
ISSUE 08 39
MY WEEK WITHOUT
MY WEEK WITHOUT
Saying NO
to Facebook
events
SARAH MCPHERSON USUALLY
HATES LEAVING HER HOUSE.
I
t’s nigh impossible
to log on to Facebook
these days without
being invited to something
new. The sheer volume
of Facebook events is a
recipe for non-attendance,
with ‘Yes’ the new ‘Maybe’
and ‘Maybe’ a definite ‘No’. THE THING THAT COSTS MONEY
As a serial non-attender
Another friend had invited me to see a play
she was in. It was an amateur production,
of things, not to mention
charging $10 for entry, and I coerced my
a socially awkward being,
housemate into coming along. I didn’t have
high hopes, but was pleasantly surprised at
I could think of no greater
how much I enjoyed the show. The acting was
challenge than giving
good, the script genuinely funny, and although
I would have never voluntarily gone, I left
up the ‘No’ option for a
wishing I saw productions like it more often.
week. But determined to
To top off the night, I met my friend at the
stage door afterwards and she was delighted
get off my couch more
I had made the effort.
often, and perhaps even
make some new friends,
THE ‘GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER’ EVENT
These seem to be going out of vogue, but still
I volunteered for this task
crop up now and again. I was invited to this
with enthusiasm.
event by the most random of acquaintances
THE SURVEY
The week began with a classic survey invitation,
a friend who needed people’s thoughts on
media consumption for a class. Thinking it was
a breezy start to a week of contrived socialising,
I clicked through, but was dismayed to discover
it was not a rapid, two minute affair, but a
20 minute ordeal. However, reluctant as I was
to provide thoughtful answers, I felt I was
reneging on the deal by not doing it properly,
so I took the time.
– a primary school classmate – whose mobile
number I have never had and will never need.
However, I posted mine in the event, along with
all his actual friends, and received an awkward
‘like’. I wonder if he’ll text me.
THE HOUSE PARTY
The house party of a random friend is the
ultimate ‘just click maybe’ invitation.You know
you’re not going to go. They know you’re not
going to go. It’s weird if you go. What’s more,
the party in question was being thrown by a
guy I met in a tutorial last semester, who I got
on with quite well, but hadn’t seen properly
since the class had finished. I vaguely knew
about seven people out of the 80 plus on the
‘attending’ list. It was a recipe for awkwardness.
I got there, knew nobody, and immediately
went for my phone, Facebooking for what
seemed like eternity but was, in reality, only
a few minutes. Then the host walked by.
“Sarah! Hey! I’m so glad you could make it!”
His surprise was palpable, but he also seemed
genuinely pleased. We chatted for a while, and
then he introduced me to one of his housemates,
with whom I totally hit it off. We got drunk
together, discovered we had both backpacked
around Europe the previous summer, and
swapped travel stories until the early hours
of the morning. I ended up being one of the
last people to leave.
I’D DO IT AGAIN
I’ll admit it: I thought the week would be much
worse than it actually was. It turns out that
leaving the house is occasionally advantageous,
both in terms of having rewarding experiences
and meeting new people. I don’t know if I’d
recommend you take a week of doing everything,
but once in a while, go to that house party
nobody expects you to attend. It might just be
the best night out you’ve had in a while.
40
BULL USU.EDU.AU
REVIEWS
REVIEWS
ALBUM
NOTHING WAS THE SAME
DRAKE
FILM
BLUE JASMINE
WOODY ALLEN
FILM
GRAVITY
ALFONSO CUARÓN
BOOK
DOCTOR SLEEP
STEPHEN KING
Drake’s third studio album,
Nothing Was The Same, plays like
a manifesto for hip-hop in the
2010s: talking about riches and
meditating on the self. This is
a big endorsement for an artist
who, only three years prior, was
struggling to prove his credibility.
Yes, he’s still self-focused – perhaps
to the point of solipsism – but in
the era of Instagram and Twitter,
his decision to rap Drake-on-Drake
is universally relevant. The samples
show College Dropout influence
and the beats are infectious. The
strongest tracks on NWTS – like
‘Furthest Thing’ and ‘Pound Cake/
Paris Morton Music’ – are two
songs in one, where the beat change
signals also a different attitude,
like he’s refining prior verses.
Here, he balances familiar themes
of loneliness and nostalgia with
the revelry of “plottin’/schemin’/
gettin’ money”. This might not
sound original, even for Drake,
but it is. He’s always called himself
great, only now I’m convinced he
believes it.
After his flirtatious sojourn with Paris
and Rome, Woody Allen has stashed
his passport and set his sights on a
more homegrown destination. San
Francisco now has the privilege
of playing hostess to Allen’s wiry
reimagining of A Streetcar Named
Desire, a comparison every cinephile
worth their latte has noted. Blanche
DuBois is Jasmine, socialite wife to a
sleazy businessman: cantankerously
droll, yet utterly compelling in her
downfall. With the countenance
of cracked porcelain, Blanchett
is bursting from years of bottled
stagework, and delivers a true
thespian’s performance, though
Allen has assembled a wonderfully
sardonic supporting cast to match
the tone of the film, with Louis CK
and character-actor Sally Hawkins
standouts. It’s easy to forget amidst
his European flights of fancy that
incisive yet deprecating home truths
are where Allen shines brightest,
and Tennessee Williams has laid the
groundwork for a commentary on
the transience of present, and how
quickly it becomes the past.
Alfonso’s Cuarón’s long-awaited
Gravity follows two astronauts,
played by Sandra Bullock and
George Clooney. The pair find
themselves stranded in space,
and unsure of their own survival,
after their ship is destroyed by
debris from a satellite explosion.
Exceptional artistic decisions make
the film. Gravity is a veritable
masterpiece in terms of its CGI
work, providing stunning images
of outer space. Cuarón’s lengthy
shots make the film feel much
longer than its 90 minute running
time, but are a pleasant break
from the standard, fast pace of
sci-fi. Extensive use of silence helps
to heighten feelings of awe and
terror invoked by the unknown
landscape, juxtaposed neatly with
a haunting score from Steven Price.
Preoccupation with sound and
visuals leave the story somewhat
lacking, and the actors are restricted
to relentless displays of distress.
Despite this, they are able to
draw us in, and the performances
from Bullock and Clooney
are commendable.
Twenty-six years after The Shining
we’re back with Dan Torrance, now
a recovering alcoholic. He works
in a nursing home with Azzie, the
cat of death, using his ‘shining’ to
comfort the dying. After developing
a connection with a gifted teenager,
Abra, they find themselves the
unwitting prey of True Knot, a
band of immortal gypsies who feed
on the steam produced by children
with ‘shining’ when they are slowly
tortured to death.
In this gruesome setting King
works his magic, drawing curious
parallels between Alcoholics
Anonymous and the bitter fight
for the soul of an incredibly gifted
girl. Through the characters, he
questions what it means to be part
of humanity, and if indeed grace is
enough to conquer all.
While fans of the film may find
the lack of gore disappointing, this
novel is exactly what it’s meant to
be; the sequel to one of the greatest
horror stories of our time.
PETER WALSH
****
SHOULDA
BEEN THERE
HABITAT FOR HUMANITY’S
URBAN SLUM, MARTIN PLACE
NATHAN OLIVIERI
****
TocommemorateWorldHabitatDay
(firstdayofOctobereveryyear),the
goodpeoplefromHabitatforHumanity
Australia(HFHA)builtanurbanslumin
oneofthebusiestplacesinSydney’s
CBD,MartinPlace.HabitatforHumanity
isanindependentnon-profitorganisation
thatiscommittedtoreducinghousing
povertyathomeandinternationally.
TheurbansluminMartinPlacewas
areplicaofthereallivingsituations
IMOGEN CHAMPAGNE
****
LOUISA STUDMAN
****
ofmanypeoplearoundtheworld,whoare
forcedtosurviveincramped,unsanitary
anddangerousspaces.Althoughthe
UnitedNationshasdeclaredshelteras
abasichumanright,onebillionpeople
aroundtheworldgowithoutadequate
housing.HFHACEOJonBlackwellsays
thenumberofpeoplewithoutshelteris
expectedtodoubletotwobillionwithin
thenexttwodecades.TheNGO
organisationhaslaunchedapetitionto
urgetheFederalGovernmenttoincrease
theirforeignAIDfundingtowardshousing
andshelterindisadvantagecommunities
aroundtheworld.
Ifyou’reinterestedinmakinghousing
apriorityforthedisadvantaged,youcan
signthepetitionontheirwebsite:
habitat.org.au
DIANA PHAM
ISSUE 08
REVIEWS
GAME
Grand Theft Auto V
Rockstar Games
CLASSIC COUNTDOWN
Top 5 Britney Spears
VMA Appearances
JOHN ROWLEY JUST WANTS MORE.
5
2000
Britney performed a remixed
version of ‘Oops!...I Did It Again’,
whipping off a black suit to reveal
a nude-coloured bra and sparkly pants.
From here on in, the performance was all
hair-flipping, arm choreography, and a
head-mic to emphasise that BRITNEY
WAS DEFINITELY SINGING LIVE*.
*Britney was not singing live. Ever.
Taking place amongst the glitz, glamour and grime of Los Santos and the
surrounding San Andreas, the latest game in the series revolves around the
interwoven fortunes and misfortunates of three central playable characters:
Michael, a former career criminal under witness protection who is forced
back into the underworld after his anger gets the better of him; Franklin,
a street smart African-American with determination but little experience,
who acts as a protégé to Michael; and Trevor, Michael’s meth addicted
and psychotic former partner.
Structured around a series of increasingly elaborate and cinematic
heists, the game delves the player into their fascinating and often abhorrent
personal lives, with plenty of violence and satire to boot.
In terms of gameplay, Grand Theft Auto V takes the core elements of
its predecessors and improves on them in every way possible. The shooting
and cover mechanics have been tweaked to near perfection, while the
driving has been completely overhauled – it no longer feels like you’re
perpetually driving on an oil-slick road.
During and outside of missions the player can jump from character
to character, allowing for more streamlined and varied missions. While
this summary belies the variety of mission types, in the collaborative heists
Michael typically takes the role of point man and leader, with players
swapping over to Trevor to complete the more zany or destructive objectives,
before switching to Franklin to drive the getaway car. The heists themselves
offer plenty of replay potential, typically offering a choice between a stealthy
approach and an all-guns-blazing blitz.
Returning fans will appreciate the subtle nods to the previous generation
of games (Grand Theft Auto III, Vice City and San Andreas) and the direct
links made with Grand Theft Auto IV and its downloadable content – within
the first few hours of gameplay there’s a brief cameo from now dishevelled
biker badass Johnny Klebitz and a thinly veiled reference to Niko Belic.
Between the random events, such as requests for help or lifts, and the
hilarious conversations and fights amongst the population, Los Santos and
the surrounding San Andreas countryside consistently provide ample fun
and distraction.
The licensed soundtrack shines with the raw energy of Black Flag and
the lyrical genius of Kendrick Lamar, the experimental beauty of Flying
Lotus and the classic pop anthems of Britney Spears, the 17 different ingame radio stations provide something for all situations. The ambient and
dynamic soundtrack which plays while there is no radio is also an awesome
inclusion, helping to build tension and excitement, while the two talkback
stations provide countless laughs.
Grand Theft AutoV caps off an already fantastic year in video games,
pushing the current generation of consoles to new limits in their dying days.
ROB NORTH *****
4
2008
Following the debacle of the
previous year (see below), Britney
returned, cleansed and re-wigged,
to her old stomping ground. She didn’t
perform, but Spears walked away with
three awards. Even if Britney seemed an
empty shell of her former self, she was
back.Yay!
3
2003
By 2003, Britney had left her
Lolita shtick behind to admit
that she was – gasp! – sexually
active. Fresh from her breakup with Justin
Timberlake, Spears took to the stage
alongside Madonna. They flirted, they
waltzed, and then they kissed. Oh, and
someone named Christina Aguilera was
there, or something.
2
2001
‘I’m A Slave 4 U’ marked an
important sonic transition from
the bubblegum pop of Spears’
earlier efforts, though gross misuse of
punctuation and the English language
in her song titles provided one constant.
This performance featured a Bengal
tiger and a snake named Banana. It
remains incredible.
1
2007
Fun facts about this performance:
Britney was supposed to have long,
flowing hair extensions put in, but
refused to sit still. Britney was supposed
to wear a corset, and mime and dance
properly. Britney’s performance was
not supposed to be seen as a symbol of
everything wrong with modern Western
celebrity culture. Oh well!
41
42
BULL USU.EDU.AU
CAUGHT ON CAMPUS
ANIMALS FROM DOWN UNDER
INTERFAITH DIRECTORS
USU’S CEO PREPARES TO GO UP AGAINST
THE MAN MUNDINE
TEDX SYDNEY SATELLITE EVENT
ROBBY IN THE FOREST
INSTAGRAM PICS OF 2013
It’s been an awesome year so we had fun choosing the best Instagram pics of 2013.
We had memories of building a forest in Manning Bar and faces getting painted
for the Alice in Wonderland-themed O-Week party. The community came together
for the Australia’s biggest TEDxSydney Satellite Event held in MacLaurin Hall, we
celebrated religious diversity during Interfaith Week, and watched USU CEO Andrew
Woodward go head to head with Anthony Mundine during this year’s Humanitarian
Fair – just to name a few! Until next year, make sure you follow us on Instagram.
Tag your photos with #USUAccess and they may just appear on our website!
CAUGHT
ON CAMPUS
IMAGES VIA INSTAGRAM #USUACCESS
TEDX + USU BALLOONS
FREE PONY RIDES
MOROCCAN CAFE
O-WEEK
SUMSA GREEN SCARF DAY
HEART PAINTING
ISSUE 08
CLUB HUB
CLUB
HUB
Suspense
& Mystery
Society
CLAIRE SLATTERY SOLVES A KILLER
MYSTERY; AND IT ISN’T ALWAYS THE
BUTLER WHO DID IT.
W
hether it’s
discussing the
adventures of
Sherlock Holmes or trying
your hand at solving a
murder of your own in one
of the more outrageous
murder mystery parties,
the thrill of the unknown
and the drive to find
answers is at the heart of
every S&M encounter.
With two Sherlock Holmes adaptations
currently on the small screen, countless versions
of Agatha Christie’s Death on the Nile available
for rent at your local movie store, and the classic
game of Cluedo still a family favourite, is it any
wonder that such a well-loved genre would have
a following in our university?
This is the calling of the Suspense &
Mystery Society – a chance to bring all lovers
of the crime genre together in the least bloody
way possible. Although the mysteries the society
partakes in are not nearly as stressful as the
daily conundrums of “where did I put my wallet
down last night?” or “why does that suspicious
looking stranger on the train keep staring at
me?”, they do their best to recreate all of the fun
of solving a difficult problem without the sinking
realisation that someone nicked your wallet on
the way back from the pub.
SOCIETIES TO
COAX YOUR
IMAGINATION
SYDNEY UNIVERSITY
FASHION AND BEAUTY
APPRECIATION
SOCIETY (FABSOC)
Weekly meet-ups ensure a chance to catch
up on discussion on the latest episodes of
Elementary while engaging in a rousing game
of Cluedo and munching on one of the staple
foods of university students – pizza.
On other occasions the focus is shifted to
the more traditional tales of the genre. A cozy
book club with drinks allows S&Mers a chance
to share their favourite parts of classic detective
novels, debating the merits of Miss Marple
vs. Poirot and discussing the chosen novel
for the month.
However, the most extravagant and exciting
events are definitely the murder mystery parties.
Three times a semester a dozen talented sleuths
descend upon an unsuspecting restaurant in
Glebe or Newtown to unravel the death of one
of their comrades. In the past, participants have
undertaken the roles of a 1920s Mafia group,
a crew onboard a luxury cruise liner and the
inhabitants of a small mid-western US town with
far too many affairs and illegitimate offspring.
Through a combination of scripted clues and
deductive reasoning the players determine
who among them was responsible for the often
understandable murder of the unfortunate
deceased. For those who are unfamiliar with the
mechanics of a murder mystery party, consider
it a combination of a themed costume party,
an enthusiastic game of Cluedo, an amateur
acting class and speed-dating. All of this
excitement is conducted over a decidedly civil
dinner and drinks (considering you're dining
with a murderer), and once the mystery has
been solved dessert is provided to congratulate
everyone on a job well done.
Despite its understandably suspicious
nature, it brings together a well-rounded and
largely sane group of people who can help you
plan the perfect murder. Anyone interested in
joining (or hiring such services) is welcome
to come along to any of the club’s meetings –
assuming you can find them. Just bring along
your reasoning ability, passion for detective
novels and – if you have them – a magnifying
glass and a deerstalker to prove your credibility.
FABSOC is relatively
new in the club and
society scene. Starting
in 2012, these guys are all about fashion
and individual swag. Becoming a member
means you can enjoy some nice perks,
like getting discounts on certain retailers
and getting admissions into fashion
industry nights and styling workshops.
Contact: [email protected]
SYDNEY UNIVERSITY
COMEDY SOCIETY
If you’re into making
people laugh or being
laughed at, the Sydney
University Comedy
Society is worth
checking out. SUCS is a good place
for aspiring comedians and comedy
nerds to hang out. Once a month SUCS
hosts a comedy debate in Manning Bar,
other times they’re putting on group
outings and comedy view-a-thons.
Membership is $2 and the ‘LOLs’
are on the house. Contact:
[email protected]
SYDNEY UNIVERSITY
DRAMATIC SOCIETY
SUDS is dedicated to
all things theatre. One
of the oldest ongoing
theatre and drama
societies in Australia,
SUDS continues to take centre stage.
Every second week of the uni calendar
they put on plays down in the Cellar
Theatre underneath Holme Building.
But if you miss that you could always
go to their staged readings held three
times during semester. If you’re interested
in acting, directing, producing or anything
theatre related, drop them a line.
Contact: [email protected]
TheUniversityofSydneyUnion(USU)runstheClubs
&SocietiesProgramattheUniversityofSydney.
Withover200registeredclubsandsocieties,there’s
suretobeagroupthatinterestsyou.Visitusu.edu.au
formoreinformation.
43
44
BULL USU.EDU.AU
SHUTTER UP
SHUTTER UP
TOKEN
QUAD SHOT
Wecouldn’tresist
slippingonein.
PHOTOGRAPHER: RAIHANA HAIDARY
[IPHONE 6]
SNAP!
Send us your unique, arty or just plain cool (as in, not another quad shot) campus snap to [email protected].
We’ll publish our faves each edition in full page glory. High-res, 300dpi jpegs only – portrait orientation.
ISSUE 08
STOP. PUZZLETIME
STOP.
PUZZLETIME
CROSSWORD
IssueSixSolutions
ACROSS
07. Praise Aloe Blacc remix swapping
pound for penny (8)
08. Stupid card game doesn’t start,
it’s said (6)
10. Stop evolution of 2 (4)
11. To ruin crop, and literally so! (10)
12. Pass the Spanish end of a church
(6)
14. Shrunken article in technology
magazine (8)
15. Syncopation is to wank in
reverse? (7)
17. Get rid of mistakes, as standard
(7)
20. Register 2’s companion with
phone (4,4)
22. Fanning state (6)
04. Centre of tree (wrong, wrong) is
23. Larger 13, you say? Nonsense!
increased again (7)
(10)
24. Web address gets clean start for 05. Lettuce said to be little 2? (8)
kinkiness (4)
06. Alter Heff at 2, without alterations
(3,3,4)
25. Waste thrown from planes before
morning (6)
09, 24-dn. Chide about sound of
sobriety (5,4)
26. Job gets headhunted, so
allow employee to start being
13. Plaster for small, fast 2? (10)
redundant (8)
16. Sam rang a… a man’s rag? (8)
18. Educated rodent follows garbage,
we hear (8)
DOWN
19. An eel or, perhaps, Rigby (7)
01, 2. Geology department starring
21. To speak from a projector at
Jack Black? (6,2,4)
exhibiton (5)
02. See 1.
22. Remove the shell in the evening,
when he comes back inside (6)
03. Socially awkward and left in
Paris (6)
24. See 9.
This year, BULL brings you cryptic crosswords from a Sydney University student (Arts IV) known
affectionately and pseudonymously as ‘Ghoti’. Ghoti says hello, and that ‘BULL Magazine’ is an anagram
of ‘I’m unglazable’. Any questions, comments, or complaints can be sent to: [email protected]
WIN A COPY OF
ATMOSPHERE BY
AMERICA’S #1 DJ,
GRAMMY NOMINATED
AND CHART TOPPING
ARTIST, KASKADE.
Thanks to Xposed Media, we’re giving
away 5 copies of Kaskade’s highly
anticipated eighth studio album,
ATMOSPHERE. Brave, true, and
arrestingly beautiful, Atmosphere is
Kaskade’s most vivid self-portrait to date.
Debuting at #4 on the iTunes Dance
Album charts, the album has already
earned him another career milestone as
the single Atmosphere gave Kaskade his
twelfth Top 10 single spot on Billboard's
Dance/Mix Show Airplay Chart.
To enter, email your name and contact
details to [email protected].
Email subject heading is Atmosphere.
COMPETITION CLOSES
5 NOVEMBER 2013.
WIN!
45
46
BULL USU.EDU.AU
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
A COLLECTION
OF INANITIES
AND INSANITIES,
BECAUSE FAMOUS
PEOPLE SAY DUMB
STUFF TOO.
“It could have been won”.
BOB ELLIS ON THE
FEDERAL ELECTION.
“They cheated the election”.
BOB ELLIS ON THE
FEDERAL ELECTION.
“This is winnable [for Labor]”.
BOB ELLIS ON THE
2011 STATE ELECTION.
“True or False: You don’t
actually think you can win?”.
“True.”
ANTHONY ALBANESE
ANSWERS HONESTLY WITH
THREE DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE.
ASK
AUNTIE
IRENE
SPOT OF BOTHER
OR NEED SOME ADVICE?
EMAIL AUNTY IRENE AT
[email protected]
“I love monkeys”.
JUSTIN BIEBER.
“I’d hate to see you get cancer,
but that’s your problem, not
mine”.
REPUBLICAN STEVE
LONEGAN EXPLAINS HIS
OPPOSITION TO OBAMACARE.
“There is nothing sexier on the
planet than a guy who doesn't
put up with my shit”.
MEGHAN MCCAIN (JOHN’S
DAUGHTER) SHARES
HER UNIQUE BRAND OF
FEMINISM
“Let’s not forget that
Port Macquarie was a
marginal seat”.
Dear Aunty Irene,
I am in a polyamorous
relationship and people keep
asking me if I get jealous.
My trouble is, I do, but
I’ve spent so long on this
high horse that I’m scared
to admit I want someone
to think I’m all they need.
My sweet poppet,
What you’re feeling is
completely natural. Being
monogamous isn’t as
fancy as pie as one might
think – insecurities can
also loom large, which
can often manifest itself
through going through
your bed friend’s I-Apple
Electronics (amazing
what civilisation achieves,
turning apples into mobile
phones). My advice is,
darling girl, rather than
worrying about Envy and
Insecurity, worry instead
about the Love Bug,
AKA STIs and practice
good bedside manners.
Good luck sweetness
and light.
TONY ABBOTT EXPLAINS
WHY HE CLAIMED A TRAVEL
ALLOWANCE TO CYCLE TO
PORT MACQUARIE – WHICH
IS IN THE SEAT OF LYNE.
“I THINK THAT GAY
MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING
THAT SHOULD BE BETWEEN
A MAN AND A WOMAN.”
Arnold schwarzenegger
“We have to get something out
of this. And I don’t know what
that even is”.
EVEN REPUBLICAN MARLIN
STUTZMAN DOESN’T
UNDERSTAND THE US
SHUTDOWN.
“But men and women
make babies together?”
“Not necessarily”.
FOX’S IN-HOUSE DOCTOR
ON THE MEDICAL A TEAM
GETS TECHNICAL WHEN
DISCUSSING ENTITLEMENTS
TO PARENTAL PAY.
Dear Aunty Irene,
I’m a regular follower
of your columns and I
take your life advice very
seriously.Whenever my sex,
love or bowel movement
woes get me down, I know
I could always turn to you
for advice. But I understand
BULL won’t be back until
next March, will you also
be returning? I’d totally be
devs if I didn’t have my
monthly dose of Aunty Irene.
Well aren’t you a gem!
I’ve always had a knack
for empathising with the
unusual woes of others.
Writing this column
has been incredibly
therapeutic and the
people at the USU office
are as peachy as tea (there
is a boy in design, who’s a
delight to the eye – I think
the Gen Y children
would label him a ‘total
babe’). To answer your
question my sweet, the
good people at the USU
have indeed welcomed
me back next year.Your
poor Uncle Bill has been
neglected while I’ve been
busy working at BULL, so
I’m sure that old cock will
be eager to get his daily
dose of Aunty Irene too.
Love, and see you soon.
Dear Aunty Irene,
I just got a new boyfriend
and I really like him – so
much that I won’t do
a poo while I’m at his
house. But it’s making
me feel constipated, what
should I do?
My Dear Cherry Blossom,
I’m sad to hear the
plumbing is out of order.
They say love is blind, but
I’m not so sure whether
it can taste, smell or hear.
My advice is to put a
nice bowl of potpourri in
his bathroom as a ‘gift’,
that way he’ll smell roses
rather than the scent of
your bodily ablutions. As
for your constipation, eat
lots of fruit and wait for
it to come – I guarantee
your backdoor chute
will be letting the little
monkeys out in no time.
Dear Aunty Irene,
My best friend accidentally
left her butt plug in the
shower next to my shampoo
and conditioner. Should I
tell her about it, or should
I just not mention anything?
My Dear Buttercup,
It is best to pretend you
hadn’t witnessed anything.
Why cause a stir when it's
all just harmless fun? That
sort of activity can get a
bit messy – doing it in the
shower is actually quite a
hygienic solution to that
kind of play.
Love and cuddles,
Aunty Irene
SAY
HELLO
TO THE FUN SIDE
THE UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY
OF UNI LIFE
UNION (USU) IS A NON-PROFIT
ORGANISATION DEDICATED TO
GIVING STUDENTS A ONCE-IN-ALIFETIME UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCE.
USU LOOKS AFTER ON-CAMPUS
FOOD, DRINK, RETAIL, AND PROVIDES
SPACES WHERE STUDENTS CAN STUDY,
PERFORM, MEET OR JUST HANG OUT.
When you become a member of the USU you gain
special access to a large range of co-curricular
activities including band comps, art prizes, clubs
& societies, debating and student leadership
opportunities. Members also get exclusive food,
beverage and retail discounts on-and-off-campus.
So get involved, grab an ACCESS Card and
say hello to the fun side of university life.
TO LEARN MORE, VISIT
WWW.USU.EDU.AU
?
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t
a
l
g
n
i
y
stud
.
s
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u
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-22 NOV
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Fis-thhuresr10c / Fri 8
Mon
TIL
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TIL
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s
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8
pm / Sat
m

Issue - University of Sydney Union

Transcription

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