The Face of Hope - Children`s Grief Center of El Paso

A Newsletter for Friends of the Children’s Grief Center of El Paso • SUMMER 2008
The Face of Hope
Have you ever wondered
what “Hope” looks like?
Or what it feels like? Is the
taste sweet or can we see or
touch it? I’ve given a great
deal of thought to the concept
and how it applies to grieving
children, teens and their
families. At the Children’s
Grief Center, children and
teens generally arrive with no
hope for the future. Perhaps a
parent, sibling or grandparent
has suddenly been killed in a
tragic accident or died from a
long sustaining illness. Perhaps
the child was not told for days
about the death and feels that
the rug has been pulled out
from under them. The taste is
often bitter as they ask, “why
my dad?” You’ve seen the
posture; hunched over, head
down and listless; or angry like
they want to punch something
or someone. Their face is sad
and eyes and mouth are droopy.
For all practical purposes, their
lives as they knew it have
ended. What hope could there
possibly be for them following
their devastating loss?
I remember the day that 6 year
old John entered our office
following the death of his dad.
It was summertime. He was
anxious and fidgety and full of
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
It was difficult for him to sit still
as his nervous energy spilled
over. He would listen to other
children but
found
it difficult
to say out
loud that
h i s
I feel in my heart
that we have
had some help
from
above
as the
children have eye opening
experiences of “I can do this
and I will be okay.” We’re here
as their guides, as our families
do the difficult grief work that
promotes healthy healing. As
time has progressed, John and
his mom Karen are now able to
help strengthen new families
that are entering our program.
Their experience has now
become a cycle of hope.
Laura Olague M.Ed., CT
own dad had died… as though
saying it out loud would make
it real. His mom, Karen, had
explained that John’s dad had
suddenly died and they had
moved back to El Paso to be
closer to grandparents. John
had blocked out most memories
of his dad and appeared angry
when asked what he could
remember. “Nothing,” was his
response. As the weeks passed,
John began to participate more
in the activities and engaged
with the other children in his
group. He now remembers
more of the little things that he
could not remember, such as
playing with his dad.
I find hope to be a deeply
spiritual experience as I feel
that we are never alone on this
journey. On a particularly good
night as we conduct “wrap up”
following the night’s session,
Non-Profit
Organization
U.S. Postage
PAID
11625 Pellicano, Ste. B
El Paso, Texas 79936
915-532-6004
www.cgcelpaso.org
If your mailing information
is incorrect or we sent you
multiple copies, please call us
at (915) 532-6004 and we’ll
correct it.
ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED
El Paso, TX
Permit #458
Empathy, Honesty and Unconditional Love
By Vivian J. Corral, Program Director
Contrary
to
popular
belief,
many
individuals in my field believe that
From the
Executive Director
What does a nonprofit organization that relies on
community support do when times are tough and
normal citizens are struggling just to fill their
working with grieving children and teens
can be challenging. However, working
with children and teens here at the
Children’s Grief Center has thus far been
a very enriching learning experience. The best
policy in working with grieving children and teens has always
been honesty, unconditional love, and empathy.
A 16 year old girl reluctantly came to the Children’s Grief Center
recently. Upon our first meeting, her reluctance to come to the
gas tanks to get to work and put groceries on
Center was reflected in her words as she stated she was not very
the table, much less contribute to their favorite
painful apprehension to address her grief.
charity? We tighten our belts,just like you. Yes, I
Her aunt, whom she considered like a mother, had recently lost
am talking about the elephant in the living room
imagine what it must be like to lose someone who meant so
called the economy that is affecting us all. As a
fond of counselors. Her sentiments were a clear reflection of her
her battle to cancer. My only words to her were simply, “I can’t
much to you.” She stopped and looked at me then tears welled
up in her eyes. She sobbed and then shared how unfair life can
charity, we are typically last on the food chain
be and voiced her concern as to who would take care of her now.
when it comes to what to do with our money as
the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.” She regained
we strive to meet current living expenses. A
The tears then flowed from her eyes, and she softly stated, “it’s
her strength and told me her story. She stated that her aunt had
raised her since she was a child because her own mom had been
tough economy doesn’t mean for example, that
killed in an automobile accident when she was an infant. She
less children experience grief or that their pain
for expressing her very personal feelings, which can often times
is lessened. Unfortunately, even in tough times,
death still occurs and we are here as the need
remains a constant. We are able to impact lives
with your support and appreciate your gifts,
especially in a tough economy. Thank you.
then shared many wonderful memories of her aunt. Thanking her
can be difficult for teenagers to do, I commended her for sharing
such intimate details of her grief. She learned and acknowledged
that sharing her feelings had made her feel much better. With
this in mind, she eagerly attended our peer support groups where
she had the opportunity to meet other grieving teens, discuss her
feelings, and little by little learn to come to terms with her loss.
You see, the experience of supporting children and
teens as they grieve is not challenging at all. On the
contrary, with the right support and guidance, helping
children and teens cope with the death of a loved one
can be a very enriching experience. For when we give
from the heart, we truly give of ourselves and help our
grieving youngsters carry on with their lives.
t
r
a
e
H
•
A
•
d
n
ON
R
E
I
A
T
P
O
Me
Operation
Mend-A-Heart
On November 3rd, 2007, the Children’s Grief Center held a
special event for military children, teens and their families
who had experienced the death of a loved one from Operation
Enduring Freedom, Iraqi Freedom or other causes of death. The
effort was supported by the Triad Fund of the Permian Basin Area
Foundation. Community partners such as Casa Ford, Domino’s
Pizza, McDonald’s Restaurant on Dyer, the BOSS organization for
young soldiers and community volunteers worked to make this
effort a success.
The grief experience is a difficult one at best. When you are in the
military, your grief becomes even more complicated as you may
feel removed from the military community following the loss and
without family support if you are in an unfamiliar environment.
Although we hope that families receive the bereavement support
they need, that isn’t always the case for a variety of reasons;
they might no longer be a part of the military community once
their loved one has died; they might not be familiar with the
community and its services; or they may be afraid to reach out to
strangers. It is particularly frustrating when military families see
their children adversely affected by a death and don’t know where
to turn. Operation Mend-A-Heart was a community effort to help
begin the healing process for those families that often feel isolated
following the loss of a soldier. It continues to be our intent to assist
grieving children and families that are or were affiliated with the
military community. We will hold our 1 day bereavement camp
for military families again on November 8th, 2008. If you know
someone who either was or is in the military and has children
that are grieving the death of a loved one, please let them know
about our ongoing
grief support services
at the Children’s
Grief Center.
This event was made
possible by:
Volunters:
Triad Fund of the Permian
Basin Area Foundation
David Calderon
And our community partners:
Ricky Rubio
Casa Ford
Lonnie Corral
Western Refining
Sylvia Rojas
Horizon City Kiwanis
Billie Funk
Bank of America
Michael Perez
Boss Program of young
military soldiers
Cecilia Siller
Boy Scout Troop 53
Dionne Dukes
Susan Armstrong –
Photographer
Nancy Torres
Frank Hughes –
WebShipStudio
Mary Alvarez
National Recruiting Center
Dede Farmer
Boy Scout Troop #53
Susan Armstrong
Albertsons NE.
Celia Burton
Wal-Mart NE.
Chayo Carrasco, Staff
Wal-Mart East
Vivian Corral, Staff
Domino’s Pizza at Doniphan
Laura Olague, Staff
Sam’s Club East
WebShipStudio
Dixie Hu
Lorena Soto
Thank you
El Paso Electric Company
How do you thank a company who has provided inkind
donated office space for over 10 years? The best way I can
think of is to say “thank you,” again and again for your
support throughout the years. When we first moved into
the Centre Building, downtown, we thought that we would
be there a short time. It was a good match and we were
their guests for several years. The employees also played a
large role as they volunteered their time and gave of their
treasures. Who says “big companies don’t care about the
community?” A million thanks to a company who does.
Board of Directors
Anthony Turrietta, President
Scott Thrasher, Vice President
David Alvarez, Treasurer
Wayne Soza, Secretary
Lizeth Herrera
Robert (Bob) Mihalyov
Laura E. Olague, M.Ed, CT
Executive Director
Cofounder
Certified in Thanatology
(Dying, Death & Bereavement)
Thank you to our outgoing board members:
David Dominguez
Deidre (Dede) Farmer
Kim Prieto
We appreciate your service to the community.
Our Staff
Laura E. Olague, M.Ed., CT
Vivian Corral, LMSW
Chayo Carrasco, Administrative Assistant
We’ve Moved
After being in the Centre
Building downtown for over
10 years, the Children’s Grief
Center has moved. We are
now on the eastside of El
Paso at 11625 Pellicano, Ste.
B, almost on the corner of
George Dieter and Pellicano.
We feel good about being
part of the neighborhood
community and invite you
to stop by and say “hello.”
We continue to provide the
same quality grief support
services.
Spotlight on our Volunteers
Meet Elena Saucedo,
a Children’s
Grief Center
volunteer who
will celebrate her
10th anniversary
with us this coming
September as a
support group
facilitator. Elena
came to us as an El
Paso Electric Company
volunteer when we
initially moved into
the Centre Bldg ten
years ago. She has
given endless hours to
strengthening grieving
children’s lives. In
addition, she helps train
volunteers, helps with
fundraisers and fills in
wherever she is needed.
She has a huge heart and
has made a difference
in many lives here at
the Center. We extend a
heartfelt “Thank You” to
Elena for everything she
does.
We could not do
this important work
without the help of
community volunteers.
We recognize these
volunteer facilitators
for their service for
2007-2008:
Sharon Batiste
Dionne Dukes Billstone
Mara Cohn
Panalists from L-R: Stacey Orloff, Ed D, Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, M.Div., Laura E. Olague, M.Ed, CT, and Rita MilburnDodson, MA, RNC, FT. Not show are William Worden, Ph D, ADPP. And Nancy Hogan, PhD, RN, FAAN.
National Hospice Foundation Panel
The
Center, Laura Olague, was
program, Sam Jensen, was
invited to participate on
selected to include his essay
a professional panel for
on his personal experience
the Hospice Foundation of
in the accompanying book.
America’s
National
The broadcast was seen
Living
by 150,000 persons and
With Grief: Children and
was shown locally by the
Adolescents. The broadcast
Children’s Grief Center to
Elena Saucedo
was shown live via satellite
professionals
from
learn more about assisting
Cecilia Siller
on April 16th, 2008 across
grieving
the country targeting an
Corral,
array of professionals. The
Director, led a local
program focused on the
panel of professionals
most current theories and
on a discussion of our
practices
combined
issues
research
and
Edgar Monarez
Olivia Narvaez
Leticia Orueta
Michael Perez
Lizeth Herrera
Victoria Silex-Martinez
John Skokowski
Susana Villela
Children’s
of the teens that attended
the Children’s Grief Center’s
Idalhi Huizar
the
Director
Grief
Dixie Hu
of
Executive
Along the
2008
Teleconference:
Washington,
D.C.
with
hands-on
ideas for practical use. One
wanting
children.
our
pertaining
Vivian
The Children’s Grief Center
held its annual fundraiser event
“Along the Butterfield Trail” at
the Butterfield Trail Golf Club,
on April 3, 2008. Thank you to
these event sponsors:
El Paso Electric Company
Casa Ford
Price’s Creameries
Western Refining
Program
to
grieving children in
our community.
to
Butterfield Trail
Casa Ford
Join us for an evening
along the...
Date: Thursday,
April 3, 2008
A dinner and auction
Time: Cocktails
fundraiser to benefit
at 6:00 p.m., dinn
er served at 7:00
Place: The Butt
p.m.
erfield Trail Golf
Club
Price: $100 per
Music by the
ticket or a table
exciting show
of 10 for $1,000
band
ChildrenÕs Grief Cent
Generously spon
sored by El Paso
Electric Company
& Price’s Crea
er
meries
2007-2008 Donors
Joaquin Aguilar
Deidre Farmer
Arturo Pacheco & Susana Navarro
MargieAl-Hanfoosh
Henry Felix
Randy Nichols
David & Debbie Alvarez
Paul Foster
Gilbert & Laura Olague
Rudy & Sylvia Alvarez
Elizabeth Frisbey
John Olivas
Arturo Anaya
Janet Furtney
Jerry & Joanne Osburn
Dr. Bruce & Kirsten Applebaum
Francis Marie Gaddy
Sherri Patrick
Arthur & Gloria August
Juan Hector Gil, PC
James M. Peak
Cindee Soza & Rita Baca
Arthur Gorman
Salvador Perales
Claudia & Norvel Green
David & Teresa Perez
Rebecca Guillen
Michael Perez
Dorothy Ball
Laura M. Hallal
Gregory & Lucy Pfirman
Terry & Zulema Bassham
Don Henderson
Susan Kidwell Pine
Tania & Gali Hermosillo
Tommy Poe
Teresa Beltran
Daniel Hernandez
Mark & Sonia Pries
Dr. Wiliam Boushka
Simon Hernandez
Kim & Lester Prieto
Margy Brown
Lizeth Herrera
Margaret & Thomas Pugh
Steve & Maria Busser
Cindy Peak Hoffmann
Siria Purcell
Bradley & Leticia Byers
Joyce Jaynes
Mr. & Mrs. C. Ramenofsky
Veronica Caballero
M. Kirk & Sydney Jelinek
Paul Raudenbush
David & Rebecca Calderon
Susie Jensen
Mr. & Mrs. Dale Reinhardt
R. S. Calles
Marylee Warwick Jurecky
Beverly & Morris Reiter
Tony Camarena
Margaret Justus
Pedro & Emma Reyes
Daniel Canales
Andrea Keener
Stella Richards
Michael Keener
Ret. LTC. Joyce Richardson
Chelsea Kidd
Dr. Galo & Irma Rodarte
Billy Kilgore
Claire & Donald Romani
Antonio & Jean Castillo
Fernando & Rita Lechuga
Elena Saucedo
Jose & Silvia Castillo
Sunny D. Leung
Anabel Sanchez
Maureen C. Laage
Jerry Sanchez
Francis & Josephine Leroux
Karen Saunders
Clay Lowenfield
Doug & VJ. Smith
Don & Patsy Combs
Ricardo Lopez
Wayne & Martha Soza
Elvira Contreras
Raquel Loweree
Kenneth Spence
Lonnie & Vivian Corral
Dr. Lyndon Mansfield
Johnnie Spicer
Christine & Kenneth Cramer
Cristina Marquez
Mr. & Mrs. William Spier
Jim & Trese Cunningham
Aaron Martinez
Terry & Sandra Squier
Yara & Guillermo Diaz
Hon. Phillip &
Mayela Martinez
Stanley & Mary Stack
Dorothy Baca
Rabbi Lawrence Bach
Irene & Ira Batt
Gilbert & Chayo Carrasco
Maria Carrasco
Sergio Carrasco
Emma Chavez
Deborah Cohen/Rhoda Jaffee
Lawrence & Mara Cohn
David Dominguez
Tina Donofrio
Robert Earp
Dr. Augstine O. Eleje
Ruth Erlich
Romie Escarcega
Pedro P. Euzarraga, Jr.
Robert & Vicki Mihalyov
Daniel & Irma Miles
Ann Mitchell
Carmen & Asuncion Molina
Maria Morales
Margaret & Martin Mordecai
Raquel Tayag
Beverly Thrasher
Scott Thrasher
Walter Tippins, DDS
Alicia Torres
Anthony & Magda Turrietta
Neva Uphoff
Mary Vasquez
Maria Vega
Jr. Women’s Club
Mt. Franklin Kiwanis
Rocio & Carlos Viesca
Joel & Elizabeth Villademoros
Businesses
Susana Villela
Alamo Industries
Bobby Walker
Bank of America
Marissa Wayden
Channel 38
Loy Wells
Chase Bank
Jack White
Clark, Thomas and Winter
Christy Wilke
Conde Incorporated
Marie Wilbanks
Duck Duck Goose
Phoebe Villarreal
El Paso Electric Company
Bruce & Margie Yetter
Enviro IDEA
Helen of Troy
Churches
Highland Presbyterian Church
Hunt Family Foundation
St. Francis on the Hill Episcopal
Church
Investor Publications, Inc.
Cindy Armendariz by David and
Becky Calderon
Petro Stopping Centers
Price’s Creameries
Regent Broadcasting
Rogers & Belding
Joshua Armendariz by Nolan
Richardson Charity Golf
Tournament
Ryan and Company
Luis Hermosillo by Tania M.
Hermosillo
Wells Fargo Bank
Zew Kimmelman by Enoch/Ivette
Kimmelman
Niko Perry by Rebecca Tarango
Our goal is to
strengthen the lives
of grieving children
and families by
providing support
and life affirming
skills in a safe and
loving environment.
We value the
conscious choice
that families make
in committing to the
difficult work of
grief and support
them through
their efforts.
Hoy-Fox Automotive Mart
Holy Trinity Catholic Church
In Memory of
Our Mission…
Hillcrest Funeral Homes
Robert Rojas by Sandra & Dale
Reinhart
Cathi Romani by Don & Claire
Romani
Larissa Valdez by James and
Crystal Long
Stein Mart
Western Refining
Foundations
Bank of America Foundation
Zane Bennett Family Foundation
Cummins Foundation
Price’s Creameries
TRIAD Fund/Permian Basin Area
Foundation
In Kind DonationsBusinesses
All Mother Nature’s Flowers
Alltel Communications
Andre’s Pizza
Azar Nut Shop
Baldwin Barber Shop
Bank of America
Bare Escentials-Mesa St.
Blossom Flower Shop
Bob’s Family Fun Center
Butterfield Trail Golf Club
Caboots.com
Café Central
Cappetto’s
Carnitas Queretaro
Cattle Baron
Chambers Steakhouse
Chico’s
Chocolat
Cinemark Theatres
Clear Channel Outdoor
“Celebrations” Singing Group
Coach Z’s Baseball Academy
Dosher Refrigeration
El Paso Diablos
El Paso Electric Company
El Paso Imports
Evolutions Hair Salon
Floral & Balloon Design
Cesle C. & Mamie F. Dues
Charitable Foundation
Gidjums Coffee Shop
El Paso Community Foundation
Griggs Restaurant
Feinberg Foundation
Hortencia’s Beauty Shop
The Hervey Foundation
Inn of the Mountain Gods Resort
Hunt Family Foundation
Jerusalem Restaurant
Robert Murillo by Spectrum
Marketing
ITW Matching Foundation
Leo’s Restaurant
Ronald McDonald Charities of El
Paso
Lucy’s Coffee Shop
Organizations
Robert E. and Evelyn McKee
Foundation
Nothing But Noodles
Ellen White by Dorothy Ball
In Honor of
Ms. Maureen Askew by Maura
Cauldwell
Am. Legional Aux. Paso del
Norte, Unit 58
Ft. Bliss Officer, Civilian and
Spouse Association
Horizon City Kiwanis
M. B. Krupp Foundation
Merrill Lynch Foundation
Rio Grande Cancer Foundation
Stern Foundation
Milan Hair Salon & Spa
Origins
P. F. Chang’s
Passage Supply
Peter Piper Properties
Popular Mattress
Price’s Creameries
Community Partners
Premiere Car Wash
Albertson’s (NE)
Red Lobster
Susan Armstrong–Photographer
Salon Selah
Bank of America
Southwest Airlines
BOSS Program of Young Military
Soldiers
Spira Shoes
Sports World
Stahmann’s Farms
Strickler & Prieto, LLP
Tennis West
Tony Lama Boots
U. S. Probation Office
UTEP Athletic Club
Boy Scout Troop #53
Casa Ford
Domino’s Pizza @ Doniphan
Frank Hughes–WebShipStudio
Don Henderson Insurance
Horizon City Kiwanis
National Guard Recruiting
Station
Sam’s Club East
In-Kind DonationsIndividuals
Debbie Alvarez
Arturo Anaya
Cleveland Atkinson
Dorothy Ball
Tony Camarena
Wal-Mart East
Wal-Mart NE
Western Refining
Volunteers
Mary Alvarez
Susan Armstrong
Please remember the Children’s Grief Center in your bequest
Mara Cohn
Dionne D. Billstone
Gilbert Carrasco
Celia Burton
Charlie Edgren
Lonnie Corral
Lita Gonzalez
David Calderon
Rebecca Guillen
Dr. Don Combs
Andrea Keener
Dede Farmer
Gail Munoz
Billy Funk
Laura Olague
Dixie Hu
Cynthia Olivas
Michael Perez
Annette Otero
Sylvia Rojas
Stella Richards
Ricky Rubio
Elena Saucedo
Cecilia Siller
Scott Thrasher
Lorena Soto
Neva Uphoff
Nancy Torres
Mary Vasquez
Jan Whitebear Ventura
Phoebe Villarreal
CGC Staff
Laura Olague, Exec. Director
Vivian Corral, Program Director
Operation Mend-A-Heart
Made Possible by:
TRIAD Fund of the Permian Basin
Area Foundation
Chayo Carrasco, Adminstrative
Asst.