04-01-1971 - Flyer News

UNIVERSITY OF DAYTON
FLYER NE
STUDENT PUBLICATION
VOL. XVII NO . 51
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 1971
President uncovers p lot
Fr. Rash overhears PFTS
planning kidnap attempt
Action approved
as legitimate to
improve council
By BRE N DA STARR
Siar Reporter
UDPS foto by Tribley
m. RASH relaxing after he found out about an attempt to kidnap
him.
Fr. Ralph Rash, UD president,
yesterday uncovered a plot to
kidnap him when he attended a
Planning Council meeting for the
Plan for the Seventies.
As we walked into the meeting,
UD gusher to serve as boom;
altar transported to vestibule
which is being hastily set up.
Other reports indicate that UD is
Plans for renovation of the going to not only sell the oil, but
.,ei will be delayed and prob- that they have contracted a Texas
!My changed, stated Bro. Joeseph firm to drill under all existing
llervare, Business Manager, in a buildings, except the Arena, for
inss conference today. According more of the rich and abundant oil.
It Mervare this is due to the dis- If it is found, UD is rumored to
fllrr'/ of a large dome of oil under consider switching over to nothing
but a field engineering school, with
aie altar.
Reports are varied, and no one is a minor in geology offered.
IUl'e how the oil was found. One
ACTIVISTS PICKET
mtent report is that one of the
servers accidently made a
Activists on campus are presresponse in Latin, and the oil suddenly gushed forth, cover ing ently picketing the sight, claiming
everyone and everything in the the oil to be the " people's oil," and
that everyone in the community
dlapel
should receive his share.
Mervare stated that while the oil
FIRST ANALYSIS
could have been sealed off for a
"We really do not know what to
make of it," commented Mervare
·wt at first analysis, it seems to
ti the richest United States strike
By BEN QUICK
FN Slaff Wr iter
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slight expense, and the chapel and
UD functions go on as normal, a
decision was made to mine it for
"a!tcr all, we n:.us~ realize what
our priorities are."
Adntiral blast s d ogs
lly MAUL PARTIND
FN Slaff Wr iter
The United States Navy today
seized the " Tin Shed" for the purpose of setting up an All-Nite
Recruiting Center. At 5:00 am, two
aircraft carriers, three battleships, five destroyers and a submarine sailed up College Park and
surrounded the decrepiit. edifice.
1iabeinghandled by our business
11111ager."
Variws rumors have sprung up
lite the incident, and the now~uard-barricaded chapel
1the ~bject of constant specula-
*PROJECT OUTERFACE
.
................ ............ ,.
;
Ill8Il."
Navy seizes Tin Shed
ml889."
When asked to comment, Fr.
Raymond Rash stated that "I was
atci town at the time on a weekDI trip to Europe, so I do not
lmlwwhat is happening. Further,
Ith&, been reported that Project
tlittrfai:e is developing a comllllity action course to give credit
thJse working on the oil rig
!.................. ... . ...... .
'
,
MEETING
:
: There will be a meeting :
: :tdayfor all those interested. :
: his in KU 431 at 10 : 00.
he reportedly overheard a committee member saying that the
plan was final and the kidnap
would take place the next day.
Fr. Rash said he was "very disturbed" about the plot and he
intended to do something about it.
He inquired as to the reasoning
behind the plot.
Although members of the Planning Council declined to answer
him at the moment (pleading the
5th), they later disclosed their
motives.
"Fr. Rash is really a nice man,
but I can't relate to him," explained one student committee
member, who wished to remain
unidentified.
A faculty member, also wishing
to remain anonymous, said that he
always had a desire to kidnap
someone - "anyone. I can't explain it, but when I was hired, I
somehow knew Fr. Ra.-;.'; was l be
AFTER THE OIL DISCOVERY - The chapel remains the same
after the discovery of oil underneath the altar.
Admiral Yessirree and 13,142
navy combatants declared the
building to be the property of the
United States Navy at 5:15, after a
twelve-minute shelling. Admiral
Yessirree stated, " We had hoped
not to use violence, but the three
students and five dogs were shouting and barking respectively, and
the men panicked.
" We were pleased," commented
the admiral, " that we were able to
cease firing in only twleve minutes
because in the war games it took us
a full half-hour. "
Asked to comment on the reason
for taking over the building ,
Admiral Yessirree stated, " Well,
we had no place to go when they
closed down the 24-hour ROTC
bullding."
" Why takeover such a useless
building?" inquired a reporter. "It
was just used as a hangout for
some straights," said Admiral
Yesslrree, "and we want to convert into a meaningful and real
people's institution."
Admiral Yes.<iirree ended his
press conterence by inviting "all
freaks and hippies to come in and
rap."
Following the admiral's press
conference, reporters rushed to the
office of the president of UD, Fr.
Ralph Rush for a comment. Asked
his opinion of this recent seizure of
an University building, Rush
stated, "I have no idea what happened as I haven't received a
report from Br. Brewman."
He continued, "It's nothing personal, but I have this tendency ... "
The rest of the interview was censored by the editor of this publication.
The chainnan of the Planning
Council, Fr. Bareit, admitted that
the Planning Council had nothing
against Fr. Rash. "We somehow
feel that this would benefit the
University in the long run," said
Bareit. "We are submitting ourselves to what seems to be the
wishes of the students.
"However, there was one minor
reason for holding our President,"
Bareit continued. "We thought it
would be appropriate if we held
Rash as a ransom until the Plans
for the Seventies' proposals were
completely passed.
" Then we had all intentions of
releasing him,'' Fr. Bareit assured
this FN reporter.
Fr. Rash, although anno}k•aa mitted that this was a legitimate
reason for his kidnapping. " Certainly, I feel a bit abused," he confided , " but PFTS is a worthwhile
University project, and if they feel
it could be more effective by kidnapping me, I would approve it."
He added, " However, I still plan
to do something . .. " With a sly
smile on his face , Fr. Rash hinted
that he might plan a kidnap plot
himself- perhaps one of the Planning Council's members.
Dulater joins Y AF,
inspires new niotto:
'It's all just in fun'
Young Americans for Fun called
the FLYER NEWS last week and
informed them of their most
recently initiated member - Edd
Dulater.
Dulater, formerly a prominent
UD leftist, explained his recent
change of heart: "Suddenly I woke
up to the fact of America and all
that it stands fur has absolutely
everything I could ask for in life.
''In fact, right after graduation,''
he continued, "I am signing up for
the Army." Implying that he
couldn't wait, Dulater said, "Wow
and yipeeeee!"
His recent membership into YAF
shocked the University and
especially the organization's
president, Mike Dewarl Upon
learning the facts, Dewart said, •'I
feel that our new member will add
credibility to Young Americans for
Fun."
With a smiling and clean shaven
face, Dulater said, "I feel
confident that I made the ·right'
decision."
Wednesday, April 1, 1971
THE UD FL YER NEWS
Women's Lib
Fill in the blanks:
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Dear editor:
I am very much in favor of
women's liberation, but this time I
believe you've gone too far.
Seriously, a woman editor was
enough of a risk, but when you
went and chose a woman for assistant editor, a nd another of the lesser sex for news editor, what's
going on???? I mean, how can two
chicks possibly even think of doing
as good a job in putting out the
FLYER NEWS as Tom Willing and
Bradford Quirk????
And also while I'm still at the
typewriter, have you no respect for
anyone or anything? I'm specifically refer ring to those god-awful
cartoons that have been appearing
in the paper recently. Doesn't that
cartoonist respect anyone? Who
does he think he is - God or some-
thing???? But I think that the
"Flyer Liar" is finally on its last
leg. Women editors, supreme cartoonist and no readers.
I'm sure that you won't have the
nerve to print this because you only
print what you want to print, which
is usually bullshit.
Sincerely,
John Haskamp (Eng-4)
(Ed. Note : We're sorry you feel
that way!)
Thanks to DIG
We were having a little party in
Alumni Hall Saturday night. One of
our brothers started to float around
the room. Not sure what to do, we
called DIG. Thank God they got
him down before Big Ray and the
boys found out. From now on, it's
Ripple at our parties!
The Boys from Alumni
D' Arey visits Drug Center,
DIGs being turned on patient
.... .. ... . .. . ........
\
...
Disgust
Needless to say, we of the
FLYER NEWS editorial board
feel that the recent kidnap
attempt of Fr. Rash is disgusting. What kind of University are we running hef"e ,
we would like to ask?·
It is utterly ridiculous that
the Planning Council even
thought that they could kidnap our beloved President.
First of all , we feel certain
that some left-wing factions
EDITORIAL COMMENT
on c a m p u s w o u I d have
staged a counter attack on
the Plann ing Council. Second,
there is no way in the world
that we as a major influential
body at the University, would
condone such an action.
We ask the members of
the Planning Council: What
did you expect to accomplish
by this action? We are totally
ashamed.
Agreement
We would like to take this
opportunity to support the
recent take-over of the Tin
Shed by the United States of
America Navy Dept.
Their purpose (recruiting)
is certainly within the purposes of the University of
Dayton. It was quite feasible
of the Navy to consider the
fact that the Tin Shed was,
at the time , not being used
for any constructive purpose.
Their new and innovative
idea to change the Shed into
a place where "all freaks and
hippies will come in and rap"
is a fantastic idea.
We hope to see all students - both straights and
freaks - take the opportunity afforded to them by our
United States Navy.
Last Monday night Mike D' Arey
(A&S-3) finally got some use of his
Drug Information Group (DIG).
According to Eilleen " LB" Russo
(A&S-2), the volunteer on duty at
the time, D' Arey wandered into
DIG at about 1 am Tuesday
morning and mumbled something
about a party that he had just come
from.
Russo reported that most of the
things that D' Arey said were
completely senseless. She said that
he acted in a very immoral manner
towards her.
TAKE IT!
Ronald Irving (A&S-2), who
accompanied D' Arey to the drug
center, said that someone came up
to D' Arey at about 11 pm Monday
night and jokingly asked D'arcy to
analyze a pill. D'arcy took the pill
and after examining it for several
minutes said " the best way to tell
what it is is to take it." He then
took the pill and washed it down
with a half-fifth of Boones Fann
apple wine.
According to Irving, D'arcy then
began to boast about his election as
student body president. He talked
about his plans to lead a march to
the Courthouse to protest the
stopping of parking on Stewart st.
He also spoke of a possible take
over of St. Mary's to voice dissent
over the rising dorm costs.
PROFESSIONAL HELP
Irving them decided to try to get
D'arcy to go up to DIG for some
help. After much persuasion,
Irving finally talked D'arcy into at
least going up to see how things
were going at the drug center.
Russo decided that D'Arcy was
in desperate need of some
professional help and so decided to
call the campus police to take him
to the hospital.
The hospital then administered
2000 mgs of thorazene and released
him to Irving to take home.
To the relief of everyone, D' Arey
is now fully recovered and will be
able to carry out his duties aa
president. When contacted
yesterday by FN, he was back to
normal.
When questioned about his future
plans as president, he mumbled
more senseless things and rusbed
off to help talk down Irving in the
drug center.
Contest initiated t
'Name the Librar
" The new library needs a name
and we're depending on the student
body to initiate one."
The above announcement
expounded from the second floor of
St. Mary's, this morning after a
meeting of the "National Leader
of Library Science."
" Our plan is to commence a
'Name The Library Contest',"
exuberated Br. Ray Nakter, Lib.
director. " Every student is
encouraged
to enter
the
competition."
This sudden proclamation,
according to Nakter, resulted from
a comment by NLI..S president Br.
Carl Katalogue, who, while on tour
of the campus, spotted the august
edifice and asked how the
Marianists enjoyed their new high
rise residence.
UD library officials urge name
submitters to be original in their
selection. Nakter explained,
" Jingles and slogans are out. Wha
we're looking for is a simple
celestial nomen."
"Winner of the contest," vowed
Fr. Ralph Rash, "will be awarded
a three-year subscription to the
'Monday Morning Memo' and a
leather bound, engraved edition of
the UD student catalogue."
When questioned on how to
combat student apathy, Nakter
stated, " Every student is expected
to submit one entry before
receiving their No. 2 cards to
complete registration."
p
A pril 1, 1971
THE UD FL YER NEWS
Comm Arts loses chairman
Beerstein signed by NB
talking and h<,Jd ng g n n mmY
tournaments, but U1"Y W""r ID'
probably a rnuj,,r ty, ar.o w 1 'I
be " just the man for our humorous
FN Slaff Wr it er
joke, I mean, spoof."
Geroge Beerstein, chairman of
The spokesma n, who would not
the Communications Arts dept., be identified, expressed hope that
has recently been signed for a the series would be as long running
series on NBC. The series, entitled as the " successful and stimulating
" Connoisseur's View of Food, TV lectures."
Horses and Other Important
" We questioned several students
Things,'' is scheduled to premiere
about their reactions to the lecin the fall.
tures before we made our deciAn NBC spokesman explained sion ,, the spokesman continued.
that network representatives had
"All the comments were highly
viewed Beerstein's Speech 101 TV
DURING CONGRESS MEETING - Congressmen, infamous for
favorable . One long-haired fellow
lectures, and decided that he would
their action, are shown here hard at work during a meeting.
responded to our questions, saying,
'Wow, what a trip !'"
He was confident that the young
man was referring to the lectures
and not to the previous Saturday
night.
" Of course," he said, "we saw
the students who were sleepin~.
on-campus bar, The Pit, nightly.
"The Hole" will feature live
IY MAR LU P E A JACKET
FN Slaff Wr iter
The new bar will be called "The entertainment three times daily,
In true competitive spirit, a Hole" and will be located in the from 7-9:30 am, 10:45-1 pm and 4group of UD students plan to open Kennedy Union cafeteria.
6:00 pm. A number of bands have
~ther on-campus bar on April 2.
Termed "a veritable den of sin, been signed to perform regularly.
~y hope to attract the overflow smoke and spirits," "The Hole"
" The Small Prune" and
it students that crowd the present promises to be a unique hang-out.
" Vitamin C" will play Tuesday
nights, followed by " Wombat" and
B y LOIS LAH•
" The Naked Rind" on weekends.
Fn Slell Wrller
"
The
place
will
reek
with
music,"
impressive contributions to the UD
IY MOLLY PI TCH ER
FN Sl a ff Writer
family of literature. He deserves promised the student group.
1beFLYERNEWS' most recent anything he gets after writing
"The success of the P it has
miumnist Jam Mimick has been those articles," said Pokenanny. prompted us to open up,''
Maria Devan, FLYER NEWS commented Hole manager Frank
IJIIUlllted for the Pulitzer Prize in
Joarna1lsm following evaluation of advisor, felt Mimick's accomplish- Zonkers. The decorations for the
ment was just "glorious."
Iii "Vietnam Visit" series.
bar have not yet been decided, but
The Pulitzer Award Committee Zonkers promises they will be
When questioned after his
-1lnation, Mimick replied, will meet Mimick in a face-to-face " dirty, gross and ugly."
'IIM>'s Pulitzer? - right or left?" confrontation at 1 pm over " The
In addition to the bands, the new
!&nick qualified his statement Roclt." Asked about the unusual
bar will host numerous dinners. A
~repeated rhetoric, but added the location, Mimick quipped, " That
stone is a true symbol of American meat loaf dinner, "All You Can
111¥1r was all his.
Stand," will be served for $1.26 on
The series of a rticles was youth's freedom and spirit to rebel.
Sunday, April 4.
The
setting
is
appropriate
for
it
meily submitted by Mimick's
Students will be asked to pay a
chum-buddy-a n d-p al Jake typifies a univer sally-accepted
$.17
cover charge for admission.
open
PlkenannY who wished to claim no common ground for
Those who wear their official
l.'Ognition for the deed. "The comment. The students may speak
"Hole"-y bikini underwear will be
lfies was one of J am's more out in my behalf."
admitted free, however.
Zonkers is enthusiastic about th
success of the new bar. " IC we can
fill "The Hole" every night, w '11
be more than satisified."
By ANN OF 1000 BIRDS
attenti<Jn t,() turlent rr,..a r
After all, th. TV I ·tur"
v
been used t<,r at !,.a t f,,ur or f
horses."
One of th stud
whose r a<'Uon
majority of
d
am very, uh,
d
tein will, uh, be
York."
Cafeteria converts to student b ar;
gross-ou t planned at The H o le'
1
'Wooden Ships' to
go Broadway rout
Mimick achieves world fame
Second Coming
by popular demand
JESUS CHRIST
LLOYD RANSLE
00 t.r
auguA
tbt
wll;
Chauffeur Service
Ride In the lap of luxury
Call 229 -3333
SUPER STAR
,,..._____________________________________________
The POT
Warmed-Over ·s paghetti
From the K. U. Kitchens
All You Can Eat 25c
See It
EASTER SUNDAY
In Woodland
Cemetery
(S unrise Servic
F R EE B R E A D
AND W I N
(BRING YOU R OWN DOGGIE BAG)
Music Provid e d by . . .
LEONARD BERNSTEIN
Adm .
In recognition of
his leadership m the field
of administration/ I cult
D. F. LEEBLA
T,
I A md
l
PRIMA-F CIE AW R
30 p iece• of •l iv er
( w i th
ppr pr I t
t
•fr
w,,tJm,5tl,Jy, April 1, 1971
TH E UD FL Y ER N EWS
Unde rground station
WVUQ ..!!:.Pamps
City beautifies sllllll,
Fire Pl. extinguished
By L is• r •ines
F N Sl aff W rl l er
and
SUE KINGEY
" Stereo with Brass" fans will have to change their dials or their taste
in music next week when WVUD goes underground.
"It's a step that Mr. Beserk and I have wanted to take for a long time,"
commented Steven C. Doughy, program director at WVUD.
He continued, "Dayton needs an underground station. This 'Stereo
with Brass' is a real drag."
Doughy outlined some plans WVUD has. These include a show entitled, " The Dynamic Duo Dirty Disk Derby," featuring Ace Devastano
and Sue Kingey; a. gourmet show called, " Kitchen Wizard," with
Graham Wendell, and a bi-weekly "Know Your Campus Radicals" spot
moderated by General Russell. "Brother Ray" Noch will host "Music of
Poland" live from the JFK Bowling Alley.
"Programming will be open to the innovative groups in acid rock,"
conunented Doughy. Music includes selections from the Mothers of
Invention, John Mayall, Grand Funk and the Fuggs.
Discussing this format, music director Gregory "God" Schettler noted
that, "I really will be able to get into the new sound." Also commenting
on the change was announcer "Mumble Mouth" Meagher who said,
''mumblemumblemumble ... "
Particularly enthusiastic about the change is sports announcer Lou
Giroo, the Flying Frenchman. Giroo has plans which include cover~ge of
the Spanish-American frisbee tournament in the plaza.
Coordinating the format will be anchorman Ben Quick. Quick, the
former host of "One-way Radio, " will work with "Rock-Jock" Ron
Matthews on the integration of bubble-gum music into the program.
Receiving special attention in this area will be the Archies the 1910
Fruitgum Company and "Heavy" Bobby Sherman.
'
Traffic director "Perfect Pete" Michaels will continue to pull records
that don't fit the format. "Freaky Phil" Eckert will carry on with "Off
Campus Today". Radical Steve Ups will keep on breaking format.
The only announcer who has not been informed of the change is Bob
"A.J." Lynch. Lynch, a rather elusive character, was last seen driving
the "Blue Goose" towards University Hall.
Last Tuesday yet another honor
was bestowed on the UD
community when Party Street and
Fire Place were designated as the
winning nominees of City
Beautiful's project for fall '71.
The Dayton chapter of the City
Beautiful Council is one of more
than a hundred such organizations
across the nation. They are
dedicated to beautifying our cities
by trying to make slums and
garbage heaps not so revolting.
Other neighborhoods considered
by the committee included Wolfe
Street, East Fifth Street and the
area surrounding the Dirty Deli.
committee
member ,
One
interviewed by FN, related that it
was an extremely difficult
decision. The committee was not
entirely convinced that Party
Street and Fire Place had used
enough creativity in their
destruction of the environment.
But members did agree that the
strewing of beer bottles and other
non-descript litter under every
single bit of foliage was a huge
success.
A vote was called for and some
worried it would end in a tie. The
deciding vote was cast, however,
by Beatrice Snodgrass, a resident
of nearby Lowes Street. She
claimed that even the roaches
were getting irritated at the
•
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FOUND IN ALUMNI HALL - This unidentified thing was dis-covered after Saturday night's party. (See page 2, letter. )
'.
.
~CBOX
The StewarfSt. Contingent
will sponsor a " Community
Orgy" following finals on
Friday, April 23. The orgy will
be open to all " free-floating"
freaks and will be held at the
famous campus hangout,
"Vinnie's Basement."
A variety of refreshments
and assorted entertainment
will. be provided. Bring your
own Wesson Oil.
Continuing its tradition of bringing to
Results will be tabulated by Concert
the UD campus the finest in popular
Director Right Rain,, and will serve as
the basis for decisions in booking per-
contemporary entertainment, Student
situation and were threatening to
migrate to Lowes. Miss Snodgrass
hastened to add that she did not
fear for herself, but for the dogs
that the pound had not yet been
able to collar.
A spokesman from the National
Committee of City Beautiful
Projects, Freder ick Bailey, was on
hand to comment that "Not since
' Resurrection City' ha ve we
tackled such a challenging
restoration."
UOPS fot o by Tri bley
~O - I did not use Ban under this arm.
ADS OF CLASSIFIED
$30 a li ne , 5,893 pa r ag ra phs t o a lin e , 2c maximu m . Send to Hia
Majesty the K ing of C araw on d a, Box 614- A St u art Hall , Uni vers ity of Dayton .
To Tom Ket,oe: Politic, chonv- and
so do holntyle1.
You're ugly, you' re an ugly penon,
ugly, ugly, 00000 , ore you ugly and
nobody ...... liked yo.......i.ost of on
~:~JH!_l.ri-body EVER liked
Droptrowlkl IOn 0 11.
YES ! They
Don' t fo'9et tlM 'WH-
,...,1y
perverted!
;-.: . =
Two Wffk datin g serv1u :-You wo1t't
b• ab le to toke more. Colltoct tlM
Roman on t he 1econd floor.
UAO PN>11rom Board ~ I thl1 Fri.
( 12 :10 o .m .)
M ike O'Con11.tl I hHr Hol!ywoocl'1
looking for a m a le Shirley T.
pi:!!! !:t.~~~;• houM
Bradford D. m~:if -
Stick to buslftff1.
" lusJnn1" & pleasure do
To the glgglerw : Puke, Vom it , Wretch,
Upchuck C:hortte.
Anll S. Fog con be a ble•lng In d lsgu lM .
Sunflowff • - • for b ird,, lettuce for
lltti.
tTlb l..,
ureamlng
yellow
,i:onken for my favorite Flyen oil
l available ! Ann of 1000 i lrd1.
Dancing award to Ann Goeke who
111cceufuly po1,1nced on my feet
20 time, In one dance. The Victim
J .S. PJ- heard you were going to
Florida for $1.00 plu1 gas and oil.
That -.ild be dongerau1! Gueu Who7
To S.C:. R. and BJ . B. The cot has
got to 90, along with two-hour
phone calls and obscene language.
DN
Artie Ha ve you
graveyard lately7
trippeil ill HM
Joan : Don't do anyth ing we would • ·
K&K
P. P. P. sponsors a i....ch party flick
at 6 :12, 1 :11, 10:59. Beach l'e,ty
Bingo will show In Wol. Holl 10c.
Margaret We ... ant you bock
th e p ig farm .
N
Craving nourilhment7 Coll 4171 for
Girl Scout Cookie,. Special rotH OIi
Brownies..
Um -Tut-Sut
L.T.
Out of Dope7 can HHVY Roy for good
quality and low prices ot 229-2111.
Your ever-lovln" Room ie.
Notice to Room 451 Morycrelt: Your
room ha1 been desi9nat.d 01 overpopulated by Sr. Mori• Loul ... Eviction will take place lmmedlonly.
J . E. 1. We gotta get someth ing d""•loplng. SOON ! The " Blue K11igl,t."
King Herod 11 olive olld well on 2nd
Floor Founders.
formances next year. Check your three
Government is conducting this poll to
favorites and return ballot to SG of-
determine student preferences.
fice.
- - Conway Twitty
- - Chubby Checker
- - Frankie Avalon
- - Bobby Goldsboro
- - The Ptatters
- - Bill Holey and the Comets
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- - Paul Anka
Bobby Rydell
- - Shelley Fabres
- - Gene Pitney
- - Alvin and the Chipmunks
- - Lorne Greene
- - Freddie Cannon
- - Paul Peterson
- - The Four Freshmen
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Helen O'Connell
- - Pat Boone
- - Annette Funicello
- - Paul and Paula
- - Fabian
- - The Big Bopper
- - lnkspots
- - Richie Valance
- - Lonnie Donnigan
- - The Impalas
Control your local radical
Call Mervite Exterminators . . .
229-2041