La belle boheme
Transcription
La belle boheme
for the woman in every mom M SPECIAL HOLIDAY ISSUE RAISING A WELL-ROUNDED CHILD SPOILED! HAVE PARENTS GONE TOO FAR? WIN A BEST FRIEND MAKEOVER! La belle boheme DRAMATIC DRESSES FOR A NIGHT AT THE OPERA NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 09 2 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 3 Don’t settle for fad diets. Get your answers from a trusted source. Our doctors make the difference, and the difference is results. In our Los Gatos clinic, Dr. Angela Pollard, Dr. Kim Dang, and our medical professionals will develop the most effective weight loss plan based on your goals, current condition and medical history. Medi-Weightloss Clinics® is a physician-supervised, three-phase weight loss program that works. Our physicians are part of the Medi-Weightloss Clinics® Wellness Team. We give you the support, education, and tools you need to help you lose the weight and keep it off. 4 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 5 Skincare . Facials . Professional Make-up . Body Treatments . Waxing Monina offers results oriented skin care treatments to address a large array of skin conditions. Holiday Special: First Time Clients receive a 1.5 hour Deluxe Facial using the latest anti-aging Age-loc technology for only $99. Call to book your treatment and see how we can transform your skin today. Express Acne or Rosacea Facial Packages: A series of 3 treatment facials for only$120. www.naturalimagesmakeup.com 3097 Moorpark Ave. Suite 102 San Jose, 95128 408.489.7909 6 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 7 table of contents features | departments Nov • Dec 2009 features La Belle Boheme 40 Stunning dresses and gowns that set the stage for a dramatic entrance. Lonely Moms Looking Online 50 How online connections can save your sanity. Spoiled 54 Kids who have it all and the parents who give it to them. Dressed to Impress 58 Stunning tablescapes that will dazzle your party guests. departments the M list 17 Gorgeous shoes, bags, and accessories that will add pizzazz to your winter wardrobe. Also our favorite movies, music, and more! momentum 22 The ten best tips for traveling with kids and five penny pinching ideas to celebrate the holidays without breaking the bank. community 26 Sarah Lucas, local philanthropist and mother, shares how you can help your children make the world a better place. academics & development 30 Dr. Korb shares his thoughts on the importance of Emotional Intelligence. image health & beauty 36 Great tips for staying healthy and trim while feasting through the holidays and new breakthrough discovery that may provide the answer to younger looking skin. 8 M • everymommagazine.com food & merriment 62 Chef Rodolfo Castellanos Reyes of Le Mar Restaurant shares his recipe for Cau Cau. emporium 65 Shop our Holiday Gift Guide and find the perfect gifts for family and friends! sampled 74 Delicious and healthy meals for your family that taste great and can be ready in 20 minutes or less! roam 78 Don’t miss out on the fun! Discover the best holiday celebrations throughout the Bay Area for the whole family. laughing matters 80 Chickysara and her hubby disagree on how to spend free time. a moment with... 82 A revealing chat with a possible future pirate, Maribella, age 3. M • everymommagazine.com 9 letter froM the editor greetings T his time last year, my partner, Norma, and I were putting together the very first issue of M Magazine. This issue marks the end of our first year and is a testament to just how far two Moms with a little dream and a lot of passion can go. It has not been the easiest endeavor, especially in light of the economy. But we are here to say that things are looking up and our little project has really taken off, thanks to the support of many wonderful people. To our lovely sales staff, Charlene, Marie, Mary, Kelly, and Bethanne, who love the magazine enough to want to share it with our advertisers, potential advertisers, and everyone else—thank you!—your support is invaluable. And to our advertisers for allowing us the privilege of promoting your businesses—we know there is other media out there—thank you for choosing us. To our contributors, writers, photographers, and editors—this magazine simply could not be without your efforts. And a big thank you to Jeff, our fearless leader—this would be impossible without his hard work, determination, unfailing optimism, and unwavering faith in Norma and me. To our families who have supported us while we work late nights, weekends, and holidays, you are our raison d’etre. To our readers, I hope that you will enjoy this holiday issue. We have many beautiful things to show you—pretty dresses for this season’s gatherings, shoes and accessories to add color and style to your winter wardrobe, gorgeous holiday tables that are dressed to impress the dinner guests at your next party, and a gift gallery of lovely gifts for everyone on your list. For your reading pleasure, don’t miss Spoiled, it’s an eye-opener to just how indulgent some parents can be, and Dr. Korb has contributed another great article, this time on how to teach children emotional intelligence. Of course there’s practical advice in Momentum, fun movies, books, and must-see TV in the Media Cabinet, and lots of practical tips for the holidays. As always, I’d love to hear ideas, suggestions, and anything else you would like to share with us. Happy Holidays and Thank You for reading M! on the cover Cindy Editor in Chief Emily, R.J. and Sarah Master instructor Dave NO MORE BORING WORKOUTS Services Group Fitness on 6,000 sq ft floor! Chiropractic Care Physical Therapy George Special Offer $30 Pick from any of our great services: Personal Training Photo by Norma Lopez Molina Models: Sarah Jean Look Model Agency San Francisco and Emily and R.J. Hair: Paulo Candido from Ego Mechanix Makeup: Gabriella Levin from La Belle Day Spa Special thanks to: Judge Luckey, The City of Palo Alto, The Lucy Stern Theatre and West Bay Opera. Massage BRIDEZILLA Boot Camp Child Care Available for All Classes Nutrition Counseling Facility Rental for Parties & More Full Service Event Planning R.J. and Emily XFIT has been creating a diverse atmosphere that encompasses all the components necessary to maximize your health and reduce stress. Start taking a positive step towards great health for a lifetime. One Month Unlimited Classes at XFIT Personal Training Session Equipment Pilates Session Massage Chiropractic Consult Nutrition Consult 408-377-3169 [email protected] 1282 White Oaks Road, Campbell, CA 95008 10 M • everymommagazine.com www.xtremefitsv.com M • everymommagazine.com 11 Norma Lopez Molina Creative Director The inspiration for this issue’s fashion spread was a mix of the paintings of Toulouse-Lautrec, Puccini’s Opera, La Bohème, and the narrative style photos of Vanity Fair magazine–definitely a big mix! But the best part was the mix of contributors–from our beautiful group of main characters to fabulous hair dresser, Paulo Candido, and the amazing jewelry from some of the Bay Area’s finest jewelers. One of my favorite things were the set and location provided by The City of Palo Alto, the Lucy Stern Theater, the Children’s Theater and José Luis Moscovich from West Bay Opera for the set of La Bohème. To all Merci beaucoup! Contributors Lana Bowers Lana Bowers holds a Masters of Fine Arts (MFA) degree in creative writing and enjoys writing creative non-fiction (not an oxymoron!). She is an international businesswoman and is currently working on a novella for fourth- and fifth-grade readers. She and her husband live in Los Gatos, CA along with their 4-year-old son, Ben. She admits to being a bit of a pushover when it comes to Ben, though she’s committed to getting better. Damon Korb MD Dr. Korb is the director of The Center for Developing Minds (CDM) and board certified behavioral and developmental pediatrician. The CDM is a multidisciplinary pediatric clinic that provides care for children and young adults who struggle with behavior issues, learning difficulties, attention problems, social skill deficits, autism spectrum disorders, developmental delays and psychological disorders. Jeremy Waldorph Jeremy Waldorph is a celebrity and fashion photographer based out of Los Angeles and the San Francisco bay area. His work has been featured in such publications as Elle Décor, Self, 944, LA Confidential and Label magazine. Whether it’s a new born in her mother’s arms or a celebrity on the red carpet, Jeremy’s passion for photography runs deep and is demonstrated within his body of work. http://web.mac.com/jeremywaldorph. Monina Wright For the past 13 years, Monina Wright has catered to some of the Bay Area’s most discerning clientele and has had her work featured in several publications and films. Monina combines her makeup artistry and results-oriented skin care to help her clients achieve the look and image they need to stay fresh, authentic and relevant. Monina is the owner of Monina Wright Skincare & Beauty Lounge in San Jose. Learn more about Monina and her results oriented skincare treatments at www.naturalimagesmakeup.com. M Losing weight has never been so easy! Publisher | Editor in Chief Cindy Cruz Publisher | Creative Director Norma Lopez Molina Public Relations [email protected] Contributing writers: Amy Graff Cindy Cruz Damon Korb, M.D. Lana Bowers Lisa Hurd-Walker Monina Wright Sabrina Martinez Sarah Lucas Contributing Photographer Jeremy Waldorph Copy Editors Cecile Cruz Christina Howell Advertising Account Managers Bethann Grisham Charlene Rudee Kelly Christensen Marie Barry Mary Dokter Online Production Cecile Cruz Jeff Muhleman President, M Magazine M is published by M Magazine LLC. P.O. Box 2486 Morgan Hill, CA 95037 To advertise contact 408-834-5434 letters from our readers Tell us what you think. Is there something that you would like to read about or share with us? Lose 2-3 lbs per week with our easy and conveniently located weight loss centers and lite food market. Lose the weight for life/Look Great/Improve your energy and your health No Fads/Learn the secret to stabilizing blood sugar with nutrition Laurie Ward Los Gatos 408-300-8640 [email protected] Julie Gouldsberry Managing Counselor Santa Clara/San Jose 408-984-4884 [email protected] Ashlee Gossard Managing Counselor Los Altos 650-941-5433 [email protected] Linda Hicks Owner/Managing counselor Menlo Park 650-323-5483 [email protected] Jennifer Lesyna Owner/Counselor San Carlos 650-631-6600 [email protected] Please e-mail [email protected]. We hope to hear from you soon! M magazine the magazine for every mom is published bimonthly by M magazine LLC. M magazine will not assume any liability or responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or any other materials. © 2009 M magazineLLC. All rights reserved Printed in the USA. Join today and receive 3 free weeks with a minimum 8 week purchase, pay no registration fee and save 10% on one Lite Market shop. Find out more at www.liteforlife.com 12 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 13 We deliver loose diamonds below wholesale 14 M • everymommagazine.com 14 M • everymommagazine.com 1640 S. Bascom Avenue Suite F Cambpell, CA 95008 | 408.377.9898 170190 Monterey Road Ste 101 Morgan Hill, CA 95037 | 408.776.9444 1640 S. Bascom Avenue Suite F Cambpell, CA 95008 | 408.377.9898 170190 Monterey Road Ste 101 Morgan Hill, CA 95037 | 408.776.9444 M • everymommagazine.com 15 and metallic accents that catch the eye the M list Studs & Suede Sexy stilettos Kenneth Cole Silver cuff $65. Available at Macy’s. Rock & Republic Nika, fushia heel with studs $295. From Foot Candy, Santana Row. Rock & Republic Celina, Blue suede pump $275. From Foot Candy, Santana Row. Jimmy Choo Cara, Black and silver metallic fabric clutch $895. From Foot Candy, Santana Row. Jessica Simpson Blue stone ring $35. Available at Macy’s. 16 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 17 Bourne Leona suede boot w/ satin & crystals $325. Valentino Sauvage patent tote with jeweled cheetah $2,495. From Foot Candy, Santana Row. Zoe Adams crystal clutch $468 available at Nordstrom. 18 M • everymommagazine.com Everyday is a special occasion the M list Sequins & Stones Head-turning shoes, bags and accessories. Photos by Norma Lopez Molina Valentino Spotlight silver sequin & pearls pumps $795. From Foot Candy, Santana Row. M • everymommagazine.com 19 the M list On disc or download media cabinet On the tube The Good Wife Alicia Florrick (Julianna Margulies), is the wife of a prominent politician (Chris Noth) who’s been caught in an explosive sex scandal and accused of misappropriating public funds. With her husband away in prison, Alicia sets out to start a new life by returning to work in a high powered law firm in order to support their two children. As Alicia gracefully struggles to gain respect in the workplace both from her tough-as-nails superiors and young, competitive peers, she begins to find confidence and self-respect as she realizes her abilities to survive and succeed in spite of her husband’s disgrace. An intriguing look at what happens during the aftermath of a life-shattering scandal and what it takes to go on. Tuesdays 10:00 pm on CBS. On the page Deedee Divine’s Totally Skewed Guide to Life by Diana Estill e•go•me•chan•ix Phoenix: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix This French indie-rock sensation delivers a phenomenally energetic album with catchy lyrics cleverly interpreted by the very appealing and distinctive voice of front man, Thomas Mars. The album has a diverse tempo and a well defined style. Favorite tunes include Fences, Lisztomania, 1901, and Girlfriend. If you are looking for an even faster tempo check out the newly released, pumped up version of this album, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix Remixes. This version will boost your mood and your energy level from the moment you hit play. Deedee Divine totally understands what it is to be a wife and mother, and most of all, a woman. She can tell you why women won’t read maps, how to get along with your husband, and how to make it through a long distance road trip with the kids. Relationship problems? Deedee has chapters devoted on how to make things work. Having trouble losing weight? Deedee has answers. Although this book is funny, it should still be considered a useful and practical (even if totally skewed) guide to life. Life is too short to take too seriously and we could all use a little advice on how to cope with all of life’s little petty annoyances–like our husbands and the kids. This book is confirmation that laughter is truly the best medicine. [ee-goh- muh-kan-ix] –noun 1. a person who repairs and maintains the ego, the “I” or self of any person.. 2. a worker who is skilled in the use of tools, machines, equipment relating function of one’s hair, make-up, or that mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment, as in: She looks amazing even under stress, who is her egomechanic? On DVD & Blu-Ray Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days by Jeff Kinney My eight-year old is a die hard Wimpy Kid fan and when he picked this newly released book off the store shelf, he never let it go. In fact, he climbed into the shopping cart and started reading it right then and there, leaving me to shop in peace. This is the fourth installment of Jeff Kinney’s incredibly popular Diary of a Wimpy Kid series and it doesn’t disappoint. Dog Days follows funny boy, Greg Heffly, on his summer adventures. Greg has big plans for the summer—none of them involving rules or responsibilities, spending time outdoors, or hanging out with his family. Like most pre-teen boys, all he really wants to do is just watch TV and play video games. His parents, however, have other plans. What’s a boy to do? Fight with his friends, avoid hairy guys at the pool, and discover things about his childhood that he never wanted to know– just to name a few. 20 M • everymommagazine.com How I Met Your Mother Seasons 1-4 If you’ve never seen an episode of How I Met Your Mother, now in its 5th season, you’re missing out on some good laughs. While there’s nothing odd about the show’s premise––about a father, Ted, telling his teenage kids the story of how he met their mother––it is rather odd that he doesn’t seem to mind including all of the racy and embarrassingly explicit details in his narration. But that’s what makes the show so funny. Through a series of flashbacks and Ted’s voice-over narrative, we follow him and his pals, playboy Barney, ex-girlfriend Robin, and married love birds Marshall and Lily, on their hilarious escapades as they journey towards Ted’s destiny. A lively cast and clever writing make all five seasons of this comedy a must-see! www.egomechanixsalon.com Ego Mechanix 34 South 1st street 2nd floor suite San Jose, Ca. 95113 408-280-1275 M • everymommagazine.com 21 Momentum We have programs for your little ones... and you! holiday travel Whether you’re 8 or 80 come join the premier club in the Bay Area. Santa Clara Swim Club offers programs for swimmers of all ages and abilities, from water babies to Masters. We’ve got something for EVERYONE! 10 best tips for traveling with kids By Amy Graff 1) Leave at the right time. If your children nap, depart for your road trip just before they’re ready to fall asleep and you might buy yourself a few hours of bliss in the car. This can also work on long flights, especially red eyes. 2) Consult a packing list. You can easily find a list geared specifically to families online, so you don’t forget to bring the Children’s Tylenol, baby wipes, and most importantly the teddy bears your kids need to fall asleep. 3) Make your kids carry their own luggage. Even a 4-year-old can roll a small suitcase on wheels through an airport. There’s no reason that mom and dad should have to schlep their little one’s stuff. You’ll save your back and teach your kids some responsibility. time. Return home on a Friday or Saturday and give the family some time to transition back into everyday life. 5) Pack tons of snacks. It’s not easy finding inexpensive, healthy snacks for kids when you’re on the road. Stuff your suitcase with nuts, granola bars, and dried fruit––and bring twice as much as you think you’ll need. 10) Have the right attitude. If you’re stressed, your kids will pick up on it and become fussy. But if you’re confident and upbeat, they’ll take everything in stride. 6) Pick a hotel with a pool. A swimming pool provides a family with endless free entertainment. Ultimate packing list for traveling with kids Packing for one person is a job in itself—and when you have kids the work becomes almost overwhelming. Diapers, socks, kids’ sunblock, hats, baby wipes...How do you ever remember to stuff it all into the suitcase? Check out “Pack Me...On the Road Again,” a packing list featuring everything you would ever need to bring on a trip for you and your family. You can buy a full pad of 50 lists printed on recycled paper online at Lobotome.com for $9.95. 7) Buy travel journals. Your kids can fill them with postcards, ticket stubs, and brochures, and they can keep themselves busy writing down their memories from the trip. 8) Find time to run around. If you’re on a road trip, stop every two hours, even if it’s to just let the kids chase each other around the car. Plane delayed? Nearly every airport has a children’s play area— go find it. 9) Never come home on a Sunday. The last thing you want to do the morning after returning from a relaxing trip is wake up at the crack of dawn to get the kids to school and yourself to work on Amy Graff is a savvy world-traveler and blogger. You can read more about Amy’s trips and tips on www.onthegowithamy.blogspot.com Swim School Senior group Pre-competitive National team Age-group Masters Teaching youngsters water safety skills Introducing children to competitive swimming developing 5-18 year old athletes ©iStockphoto.com/ Fertnig 4) Create an art pack. Fill a small canvas bag with crayons, pens, scissors, and paper. This will keep the kids occupied in the car, on the plane, at the restaurant, in the hotel. Training advance athletes Preparing elite athletes for world-class competition Providing instruction and training for adults SANTA CLARA SWIM CLUB Developing champions in and out of the water since 1951 We Train. We Believe. We Achieve. Santa Clara Swim Club International Swim Center 2625 Patricia Dr. Santa Clara, CA 95051 (408) 246-5050 22 M • everymommagazine.com www.santaclaraswimclub.org M • everymommagazine.com 23 Have a Penny Pinching Christmas 5 ways to save money this holiday season By Cindy Cruz Don’t you just love holidays—the carols, the cookies, the brightly wrapped present under the tree, the exorbitant credit card bills? Yes, that’s right—unfortunate, but true—credit card bills are an inevitable part of the holiday season. While Christmas is a time filled with joy and wonder, it’s also a pretty pricey holiday. With today’s economy, many families are looking for ways to enjoy the holidays without overspending. Here are five penny pinching tips for keeping your costs down and your spirits up! Merr-E Christmas - Instead of spending money on Christmas cards and postage, why not send your greetings electronically? There are several greeting card websites to choose from and many cards are musical, animated, and interactive! Not only are e-cards fun, they are free and eco-friendly too! Our favorites: www.bluemountain.com and www.123greetings.com. It’s the Thought that Counts - Create handcrafted gifts and decorations. Handmade presents are unique and the people on your Christmas list will appreciate the time and energy you put into their one-of-a-kind gifts. You don’t have to be an expert craftsman; the Internet and your local public library have many simple and inexpensive homemade gift and holiday decorating ideas to choose from. 24 M • everymommagazine.com It’s Better to Give – When times are tough, it’s truly often better to give than to receive. Even if your own family is struggling, helping others who are needier is always an eye opener and will foster an attitude of gratitude—as in be thankful for what you DO have. There are many homeless shelters and soup kitchens where the whole family can participate together to volunteer time; or your family can start a drive and collect food, clothing and/or toys from friends, neighbors and co-workers to deliver to a local shelter. ©istockphoto/cglade Momentum money matters Christmas is for the Children – Suggest to adult friends and family that only the children should get presents this year. This will save everyone a lot of time and money. Fewer people on your Christmas list means less time at the mall and more money in your pocket. You will be surprised at how agreeable the grown-ups in your family will be to this idea! Christmas Cocktail Soiree – Instead of an expensive Christmas dinner, why not have a cocktail party instead? Have guests bring an appetizer and a bottle of wine to share, this way the financial burden of holiday entertaining does not fall entirely on the host. The point, after all, is not to spend money but time together! M • everymommagazine.com 25 coM munity the important things How to Help Your Kids Make a Difference By Sarah Lucas As a mother of four, I have struggled for years to find meaningful ways for my children to help others. But it isn’t as simple as it would seem. It’s not that children are not empathetic or kind or generous, it may just be that there is a lack of proper avenues for them to express these qualities. In parenting when we are struggling for a solution, as is so often the case, it is the children, themselves, who come up with the right answer. Two years ago, my daughter Kate, who was then nine, came home from school and announced that she wanted to help kids in Africa. She put together a small list of girls who she knew shared her concerns and, with the idea that they could be “angels of change,” they started “ChAngels” Things started out small but eventually, more projects were proposed and meetings followed where ideas were brainstormed, research was conducted, fundraising events were planned, and site visits were coordinated. It was going well, but things were a little complicated. Like any process, we needed to assess what was working and what wasn’t. After a few minor alterations, we have created a wonderful model for participating in meaningful projects with our children in our community. ChAngels is now in its third year and these are the lessons we have learned: that support these interests. By laying out our projects for the year, we can ensure that our time together is productive and fun, rather than spending the time trying to figure out what we are going to do. Too much burden equals not enough enjoyment. The mother side of this mother-daughter group is responsible for filtering opportunities and presenting options. The girls make the ultimate decisions about which projects to pursue, but they don’t have to own the entire process. By presenting exciting local options, this also helps to curtail their oftenexpressed urge to jump on a plane to Africa and help a village with whatever it may need. Their enthusiasm is contagious, but we have to rein them in from time to time. Philanthropy is fun but… it is event more fun with friends. You have so much to talk about after each experience and it would not hold the same meaning working on your own. We are a small group but together we feel powerful, important, relevant and, truly, like we are making a small difference in a big world. Somehow, that small change is adding up to a big reward for all of us. Pencil it in! At the start of our new season, we brainstorm areas of interest and then we find organizations or projects 26 M • everymommagazine.com Make a connection. One of our favorite projects was cooking dinner for the residents of the Ronald McDonald House in Palo Alto, a building we had driven by for years. This involved planning and shopping within a budget (great for practicing math facts), cooking together, and delivering the meal to the residents. We were given a tour of the facilities and the girls were able to ask important questions about the residents and their sick children. Now, each time we drive past the building, we think about the families staying there and feel a sense of pride that we are partnering with important organizations in our community. Keep the change. We hold one to two fundraising events each year and collect spare change all year long. We email our friends about the event details and ask that they also bring their spare change. You can’t believe how those coins in the car or in Dad’s desk drawer can add up. Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” I say, bring on the ChAngels! M • everymommagazine.com 27 acadeM ics & develop Ment M magazine education guide “The Carden curriculum is designed to address the development of the whole child, combining cultivation of sound academic skills and focus on personal and character development.” What CDS Parents have to say: Carden Day School of San Jose The Carden Method is based on the philosophy that life and learning are enhanced by the ability to interconnect academic, social, and artistic skills through a strong foundation of knowledge and is specifically designed to help children develop their innate powers of analytical and organized thinking in a balanced and challenging environment. Carden Day School of San Jose offers a classical curriculum in a modern world. This unique combination of academic excellence in a warm, nurturing environment for grades pre-K through eighth provides students with an education of unparalleled quality. Carden Day School of San Jose, adheres to the belief that real education develops sound judgment and requires practical application of knowledge in all aspects of learning and in every phase of life. Knowing that artistic and intellectual expression must come from within, teachers at CDS lead the students from a point of knowledge to a realization of facts that are natural outcomes— thus students are taught cause and effect. Because of the attention paid to each individual child, parents experience the joy of watching their child’s personality unfold as she is mentored through the years by gifted and multi-talented teachers. The Carden Curriculum The Carden curriculum is designed to address the development of the whole child, combining cultivation of sound academic skills and focus on personal and character development. Along with a strong academic program, life lessons in courtesy, responsibility and gratitude are also taught. Small group instruction provided by CDS teachers gives 28 M • everymommagazine.com students the opportunity to express themselves and progress at their own rate. Their subjects are integrated within each school year and from grade to grade so that students are not learning isolated information but instead a beautiful woven fabric of knowledge. Students learn to express themselves orally, in writing, through music and through fine arts in this multi-faceted program. To further the students’ knowledge of culture and the world, CDS offers a variety of assemblies, field trips, drama presentations and sports activities. Carden Day School’s academic program offers Reading, Spelling, Grammar and Dictation, Composition, Arithmetic, Science, Social Studies, French, Computers, Music, Latin, and Art. Middle school students also enjoy annual trips to Science Camp, the East Coast, and school trips to Quebec and France to practice their French, as well as China to further their understanding of their annual exchange students from Carden China. Beyond the academic day, students are able to further develop their individuality through Carden Day School’s many after school clubs and activity-packed extended care program. A diverse school dedicated to the development of the whole child both within the classroom and in the world beyond, CDS teachers and staff attend not only to academic teaching but also to character development of the child. To that end teachers at CDS pay close attention to students’ development inside the classroom as well as out on the play yard. CDS provides the perfect environment before, during, and after school. Your child will thrive socially in a caring atmosphere while receiving the highest quality education. Lisa Garvey: “Academically, the curriculum is very advanced, and it’s great to watch the kids rise to the challenge. But it’s equally impressive to see them learn to love music, art, French, chess, etc. The teachers and the leadership at Carden have far surpassed our expectations!” Michael & Michele Reen: We’ve been with Carden Day School since 2004, and we have been extremely pleased with the academic and social development of both our children. We chose to go with Carden for many reasons, but what stands out was that the upper grade students were happy, energetic, well-mannered, and courteous to parents, teachers, and the younger students as well. This is what impressed us most. Carden students have been accepted to: MIT Harker UCLA Notre Dame UC Irvine Bellarmine UC Berkeley Mitty UC Davis Presentation Santa Clara St. Francis USC Pinewood Amherst Valley Christian George Washington University and more! M • everymommagazine.com 29 Emotional Intelligence Raising a well-rounded child By Damon Korb, MD For many years, people have tried to equate a person’s intelligence to success. Schools used intelligence quotient (IQ) tests to choose children for gifted programs and some companies even used IQ scores when hiring. But, do people with high IQ’s make good friends and happy marriages? Not necessarily. Do all intelligent individuals rise continually up the corporate ladder? Not always; there are smart people who stall in their climb. There seems to be another factor that corresponds better with success in life. This factor is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the social side of being smart. It includes an awareness of one’s feelings, and the ability to trust those feelings to make good decisions in life. It’s the demonstration of self-control in the face of emotional upsets. It’s coping with frustration and being motivated and remaining optimistic despite setbacks in working toward goals. It’s taking the perspective of others and demonstrating empathy. And, it’s social skills – getting along with and leading others. In practical terms, the emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability to read between the lines, to size up situations, and to be intuitive. Since 1995, when psychologist Daniel Goleman wrote his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, EQ has become a popular term. Researchers now postulate that it is the EQ, and not the IQ, that is a stronger determinant of a person’s success in life. Unlike the IQ, an EQ is a concept, not a standardized test that results in a score. Emotionally intelligent people possess five qualities: •Self-awareness – a person’s ability to understand and be aware of their feelings and moods. •Self-control – the skill that helps people display their emotions and actions in socially appropriate ways. It helps one control anger, sadness, and fear. •Motivation – the trait that helps a person use their emotions to persevere and reach their goals. •Empathy – the ability to understand how another person feels. •Social-skills – how to interact with others in social situations, the ability to carry on a conversation and deal with other’s emotions, and being socially competent. In order to raise a well-rounded child, parents must sometimes make decisions that seem to go against the grain. In the movie, The Shining, Jack Nicholson delivers the famous line, “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.” In the conversation of intelligence, that quote could not be more true. Parents often overlook the importance of the EQ and focus their parenting efforts on promoting a child’s already advanced skills reflected by the IQ. Generally speaking, if a child lacks critical EQ skills, parents should seek out opportunities to improve weaker skill areas in order to develop a 30 M • everymommagazine.com ©iStockphoto.com/ duncan1890 acadeM ics & develop Ment schools & education well-rounded child. Therefore, a talented math student does not need to solve more math problems and a child with a sole interest in computers should cut back on the video games; parents should, instead, look for activities that will promote other areas where they might need improvement. Another important skill to develop for increasing your child’s EQ is to help your child identify what he wants and how he feels. This first step is where many parents falter, because some were raised by parents who taught them to hide or deny their feelings. Don’t squelch your child’s emotions, but give him words to identify how he feels. Say often, “What are you feeling?” In addition, parents should model open communication about emotions. For instance, instead of directly scolding your child, say, “I’m so angry right now!” Name your emotions, whatever they may be, and encourage your child to do the same. Next, help your child frame their dilemma. So, for example, when a child becomes upset about having to turn off the television say, “You would like to watch TV, but our family always eats dinner at six o’clock.” Once the dilemma is set, invite your child to solve the problem, “What should we do?” This process, referred to as Collaborative Problem Solving, teaches a skill the child can use in any setting. Additionally, be sure to model emotional self-control for your child. Don’t yell when a mistake occurs. Engage in a positive discussion. Yelling teaches your child that to get his point across, he must yell at others. Childhood games can also teach self-control. Games such as “Red Light/Green Light” and “Simon Says” allow a child to practice exerting control over his whole body. Perseverance is another skill that can help motivate children in a variety of situations. To persevere requires patience and patience can be practiced. Teach ways to develop patience and give examples (i.e. earning a toy slowly over a period of days or weeks, waiting to play with a friend, saving up money for college and other examples that may have meaning Continued on page 32 New Campuses in Morgan Hill and Santa Clara Now Open! M • everymommagazine.com 31 Emotional Intelligence From page 30 for your child). Practice patience, for example, if you are in line at a store, tell your child, “Hey, let’s practice patience.” Or say, “Let’s flex our patience muscles. Wow, you’re getting strong!” Discuss how patience can be “short” or “long,” and how sometimes patience can be “used up.” Research suggests that there are many benefits to raising a child’s EQ. Well-rounded children live happier, healthier lives. But, be realistic, it is not necessary for children to excel at everything, often it helps to have a specific area of strength. It should be noted that children with high EQs have one important thing in common: they have had diverse experiences. Self-awareness develops as children experience how they feel over multiple experiences. Empathy and social skills are supported by getting to know many different people. Motivation grows out of trying new things and experiencing struggle and success. Let your child watch you and know how you feel as you move through your experiences. It is certainly possible to increase your child’s EQ, but it is a process. It may put all your patience practice to the test, because raising an EQ takes time, but your whole family will benefit from the attempt. Visit The Center for Developing Minds on Facebook. Please join us and other parents to share the strategies you use to raise your well-rounded child. Advertise with M magazine call 408-834-5434 or email [email protected] M M Magazine is the place where the very best businesses really stand out. 32 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 33 health & wellness experts SMALL BUSINESS GENERAL COUNSEL Rafi Balabanian, D.D.S. Dr. Bruce Hartley 1961 Pruneridge Avenue, Suite A Santa Clara, CA 95050 Phone:408-985-7234 Fax:408-985-4212 [email protected] www.rafibaldds.com Peninsula Center of Cosmetic Dentistry 99 3rd Street Los Altos, CA 94022 Ph: 650.948.5524 Fax: 650.948.1887 Email: [email protected] www.pccd.net Rafi Balabanian D.D.S., F.A.G.D. is a fellow of the Academy of General Dentistry, he has been practicing general and cosmetic dentistry in Santa Clara since 1990, providing quality up-to-date care to his patients. He is enrolled in the academy’s prestigious Mastership program to obtain MAGD, a degree that is awarded to only 1% of all the dentists in the nation. Dr. Balabanian restores smiles by using Lumineers®, and has been voted “the best Invisalign® dentist” by the readers of San Jose Magazine. He goes the extra mile for your smile. Since opening his cosmetic dental practice in 1986, Dr. Bruce Hartley has been committed to providing the highest standards of quality and care to his patients. As a master craftsman and dental artist, he has bonded over 20,000 porcelain restorations to renew and create beautiful smiles for his patients. Dr. Hartley’s cosmetic dentistry has been featured on NBC’s Today Show, KNTV11 News, and published in Shape Magazine, San Francisco Chronicle, and many other publications. Dr. Angela Pollard OB/GYN 700 W. Parr Ave., Suite I Los Gatos Ca 95032. “Caring for the whole woman” is the motto of Dr. Angela Pollard, FACOG. Dr Pollard received her BA degree from Stanford University, her medical degree from the University of California, San Diego, and completed residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology from the University of Colorado. She specializes in comprehensive obstetrical care, gynecological and obstetrical ultrasound, laparoscopic and noninvasive surgery, hysterectomy alternatives, cancer screening, urinary incontinence and pelvic prolapse, pelvic pain management, menopause, infertility, and weight management. Whether the treatment is medical or surgical, Dr. Pollard and her team provide a caring environment to address the physical, psychological and behavioral needs of the whole patient. 34 M • everymommagazine.com PROTECT YOURSELF BEFORE YOU GET SUED Every Small Business needs an experienced and affordable attorney on its side. • Protect Your Assets • Comply With Employment Laws • Create Strong Partnership Agreements • Evaluate Contracts • Review Litigation Concerns • Set Up Wills and Trusts Contact Trevor J. Zink for a FREE CONSULTATION at (408) 879-8503 [email protected] www.Omnillp.com Dr. Sooji Rugh Jumpstart Medicine Physician Supervised Weight Loss • 465 Fairchild Drive, Suite 112 Mountain View •2495 Old Middlefield Way Mountain View •San Jose location coming Fall 2009 Phone: 650-396-8080 Email: mv@jumpstart medicine.com Website: www.jump startmedicine.com Dr. Sooji Rugh received her BS degree from MIT, her medical degree from U. of Pittsburgh, and completed her Internal Medicine Residency at Harbor-UCLA. As a primary care physician she has managed many complications related to weight, such as hypertension, diabetes, and depression. By focusing on weight management, she is able to dramatically improve both the physical and psychological well-being of her patients. She and her team are passionate about providing a caring environment where nutritional education, behavioral support, and medical guidance nurture a long term life style change. M • everymommagazine.com 35 Image & health body and fitness Sinless & Simple Holiday Feasting & Fitness Guide By Sabrina Martinez When I lost 110 pounds nearly seven years ago, I swore to never let my physical health slip back into that danger zone again. I am challenged, as we all are, to keep the pounds off. Every year, I revisit my guidelines for staying healthy during the holidays to make sure I am the victorious winner of the buffet battle. I am giving you my personal arsenal of fitness weapons to help you win your own battle against those dreaded holiday pounds. My plan is not deprivation, it’s a celebration. Plan of Attack & Comfort Food Combat Weapons Inspiration - You will need this for motivation and to keep your plan of attack in action. Hmmm, what do I stay healthy for? Whether it’s to keep up with your children or to run a marathon, we all have numerous reason why we are motivated to get healthy and stay healthy. Fitness increases mental clarity and uplifts your mood. Sit down for ten minutes and list at least five reasons you seek longevity and optimal health. Next, get pictures of your inspiration if possible. The visual stimulation will help. Scan and send them to yourself. Save them in your “Fit File” on your computer and post the prints somewhere at home. When you are feeling totally down take a glance at what you enjoy. Having trouble coming up with inspiration? Try using these: Plan a Trip - Pictures of a fantastic retreat will generate happy fantasies of adventures and relaxation and will pop you back into Fit Mode. Try a New Group Activity - Joining group classes or activities like dancing, bocce, book groups, a band, or any other group activity gives you a regularly scheduled boost of motivation. I love to dance Salsa and kickbox so those are regular activities on my calendar. Pick a Person Who Embodies What You Want - Is someone living your ideal life? Pin point at least five things that this person is doing that you would like to implement into your own lifestyle and do it! These are your inspirations now. Grab Your Calendar Now that you have your inspirations, get out and have some fun. Block out three days in your week for at least 45 minutes of fabulous athletic activity. I found it easiest to review my gym schedule and commit to at least three group classes. I kickbox, dance, and use free weights on auto-pilot because it works best for me. I don’t 36 M • everymommagazine.com have to think a whole lot and I enjoy the break. Post your new exercise calendar up on your fridge. Add these to your Blackberry or work e-mail calendar too so you can schedule other activities around your fitness commitments. Make these commitments (and your health) a priority. You Bring the Health to the Holiday Party Don’t count on your merry companions to prepare healthy food selections to bring to the next holiday party. Take charge and bring a healthy dish yourself. Make a delicious salad, a brown rice pilaf, or other healthful selection. Grab your plate and serve yourself a heaping portion of that healthy dish. This makes it easy to portion control the rest of your food. You won’t have much room left on that plate if it’s filled with your healthy choice. This will stop the ribbing you might get about “dieting” and keep the standard phrase “it’s time to celebrate, just eat whatever you want” from being spoken. Take a small bit of everything thing you enjoy and add it to your plate. It’s okay to love food, it’s tasty! Bonus Battle Tips • Eat a Well Balanced and Substantial Breakfast, and eat smaller meals throughout the day • Drink a whole glass of water before each meal. This will make you feel full and help you with your portion control. Want more tips or have any questions? Email [email protected]. Sabrina has lost and kept off 110 lbs. through healthy nutrition and exercise. She is the Operations and Marketing Manager at Xtreme Fitness Silicon Valley in Campbell. www.xtremefitsv.com 408.377.3169 Xtreme Fitness Silicon Valley 1282 White Oaks Road Campbell, CA 95008 M • everymommagazine.com 37 for the woman in every mom iMage & health M beautify WIN BEST FRIEND MAKEOVER GIVEAWAYS Become a fan of our Facebook Page and type “I Want to Win!” ©istockphoto/ dmbaker or e-mail In Search of Everlasting Youth Break-through discovery in anti-aging research By Monina Wright What does Anti-Aging mean to you? Aging gracefully or fighting back the hands of time with everything you’ve got? Imagine coming home to a flood in your kitchen. Would you first grab a bucket and a mop? Or would you immediately look for the source and turn it off? Until recently all skincare companies had to offer were a bucket and mop. Without knowing the source of what causes the aging process, there was not much more to do. Although skincare companies have made significant advances in the progress toward the prevention and correction of the visible signs of aging, there are still many unknown factors of how and why we age. But according to the Stanford Clinical Bulletin, “...scientists at Purdue University... have discovered a new and potentially significant internal source of aging—an enzyme called arNOX. Present on the external surface of cell membranes, arNOX becomes increasingly active and is capable of generating skin-damaging free radicals in the epidermis around the clock. Mostly inactive in our youth, activity levels of arNOX increase as we age.” Clinical studies showed that test subjects who had higher levels of arNOX looked seven years older then their chronological age while test subjects with lower amounts of arNOX looked seven years younger then their chronological age. “We know that arNOX, which is an internal source of aging, generates damaging superoxide free radicals at a rate that accelerates as we age,” said Joe Chang, chief scientific officer at Nu Skin. “This latest research correlates arNOX activity with an increase in cross links in the skin, leading us to the conclusion that arNOX is indeed a contributor to the breakdown of collagen and elastin, which contributes to the appearance of lines and wrinkles and other signs of aging skin.” As a result of this recent discovery, skincare companies are racing to find ways to battle arNOX in order to keep aging at bay. By isolating the arNOX enzyme we will begin to see a shift in the development of anti-aging products and treatments now that skincare companies have a new starting point. “Evidence of arNOX in the skin provides further insights into potentially revolutionary therapies for skin care…” remarked Helen Knaggs, PhD, vice president of Nu Skin global research and development.” If we can develop innovative ways to inhibit arNOX activity and prevent the production of free radicals in the first place, then we can address both sides of the equation— correcting free radical damage from external sources, while at the same time preventing free radical production from internal sources.” With this new discovery, those seeking to slow the signs of aging will no longer be satisfied with a temporary fix (a mop and bucket), and will look, instead, to skincare products and treatments that will affect aging at a deeper, more permanent level. [email protected] to become eligible to win any of these amazing prizes! 10 Ten Tickets to the Camera Cinemas (valued at $100!) $100 8 $100 Gift Certificate to LaBelle Day Spa & Salon Eight Open Play passes to LOL at the Silver Creek Sportsplex (valued at $40) Have you been through thick and thin together? Is she the one you can count on for anything and everything? Does she know all of your dirty little secrets and seen you at your worst, but she still loves you? Have you always wanted to thank her for being your BFF but just don’t know how to? Well, this is your chance! Send us a photo of you and your best gal pal and tell us in 500 words or less why your best friend deserves a day of pampering and a fresh new look! If your pal gets chosen, both of you will have the opportunity to win a fabulous prize package including: A hair cut and style for you and your BFF by renowned 3 stylist, Paulo Candido, owner of Ego Mechanix Salon in San Jose. Facial and professional make-up from Monina Wright 3 Skincare & Beauty Lounge. Girlfriend Getaway Package at the Hotel Valencia Santana 3 Row. The package includes an overnight stay at the Santana Row luxury hotel, two complimentary cocktails, deluxe continental buffet breakfast for two in the hotel’s restaurant, Citrus, and two Valencia shopping bags filled with goodies to make the slumber party complete. Send your photo and brief essay to [email protected]. Deadline is December 20, 2009. Winner will be announced in our next issue! Before and after photos and essay will appear in M Magazine. 38 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 39 Dramatic dresses for a night at the opera Photos by Norma Lopez Molina Hair by Paulo Candido from Ego Mechanixs Makeup by Gabriella Levin from La Belle Day Spa & Salon Location: Lucy Stern Theatre, Palo Alto On the set of La Boheme 40 M • everymommagazine.com L a Belle Bohème Robert Rodriguez gray gown at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $641. Kenna T. faux fur in black at kenna-t.com $449. Diamond Drop Earrings 2.37-carat diamonds set in 18k carat white gold $11,500 at Gleim Jewelers. Kate Bishop Black Glory hat $225 at Fino Fino, Menlo Park. M • everymommagazine.com 41 Lapis Sundress, $59; That’s So Cute Affordable Boutique Los Gatos. Bejeweled Knotted Necklace, $34.50; Express. Vince Gold, copper and red satin dress $325 and short sleeve dark green sweater with leather belt $295. LyDell NYC chunky black necklace $40. LyDell NYC chunky red bracelet $25. Leopard print bangles $35. Arturo Chiang Francesca sandals $69. All at Bloomingdale’s Stanford. Glitterati Marc by Marc Jacobs black coat with gold buttons $498. BCBG sequined gold and black top $198. Free People sequined skirt $68. John Hardy Palu Collection 22K ham- in Capitola or www.nubiaswimwear.com. Calvingray Kleinand black dressLenny at Bloomingdale’s Stanford Orange white suit $160. At Nubia$318. Swimwear mered gold shrimp earrings 5.6Xhilaration carat diamond waterfalltankini necklace in 18-carat white goldJohn Girls’ two-piece inset pink, orange and$450. white $12.99 at Target.com. Hardy Palu Collection $8950 from the Estate Jewelry Collection at Gleim hammered Jewelers. gold large round ring $995. John Hardy Diamond and Ruby Earrings set in 18-carat yellow gold $7850 PaluTop Collection 22K at Gleim Jewelers. Black Panizza Hat $250 athammered Fino Fino . gold cuff bracelet $2000. All available at Bloomingdale’s Stanford. 42 M • everymommagazine.com Ann Klein gold dress at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $198. Citrine and diamond pendant with amethyst $4125 at Gleim Jewelers. 18-carat golden topaz and diamond ring $5800 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels. Diamond bracelets with 1.10-carat diamonds set in white and yellow gold $3875 each at Gleim Jewelers. Kate Bishop green and yellow Glory hat $250. at Fino Fino. M • everymommagazine.com 43 Sugar and spice, ruff and sweet Velvet Tahari jacket Punk Pretty Kenna-T zip vest available at Nordstrom $120. Karen Kane pink ruffled shirt $70. Free People blue sequined skirt $68. Green cobra caftan cover$45. up by ViX $122 at Nubia Swimwear in Capitola or www.nubiaswimwear.com. Black studded bracelet All at Bloomingdale’s Stanford. Betsey Johnson pleated red dress $450 at Betsey Johnson Aqua blackStanford and red girls dress Center, at Bloomingdale’s Shopping Palo Alto. Stanford $60. Aqua black shrug at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $68. 44 M • everymommagazine.com Black mini dress with jewel appliqué by Deep Los Angeles, $63; That’s So Cute Affordable Boutique Los Gatos. Black sundress $70 ; That’s So Cute Affordable Boutique Los Gatos. Trina Turk with bamboo detail top $81. White lycra drawstring dress $82 at Nubia Swimwear or www.nubiaswimwear.com. Evoking Grace DKNY green infinity velvet scarf $145. DKNY green cozy $195. Drop earrings $80. All at Bloomingdale’s Stanford. Marc Bauer long one shoulder dress with rosette at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $695. 18-carat diamond and ruby drop earrings set in platinum $18,500 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels. M • everymommagazine.com 45 Modern Elegance Aqua gray blazer $108. Free People blue sequined shirt $68. Convertible BCBG shirred $128. Betsey silver belt $40.$449. Kenna black T. fauxskirt fur leopard print Johnson shrug at kenna-t.com BCBG ABS Allen Schwartz ring $85. Allhat at Bloomingdale’s Stanford. Black feathers $495 at Fino Fino, Menlo Park. 18K gold swirling earrings with beads $859. 22K gold hollow bead necklace $858. Both at PNG Jewelers, Sunnyvale. 46 M • everymommagazine.com Tadashi black lace gown at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $408. Handcrafted Gold Kanga cuff $2806 from PNG Jewelers. Vintage style gold earrings $2950 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels. Pretty in Pink BCBG darted sleeve dress in fuchsia $248. Carolee long black necklace $60. Subtle GlamAt Bloomingdale’s Stanford. BCBG M • everymommagazine.com 47 Norma Lopez Molina Comercial photography Architecture Hospitality industry Still life Fashion More than 10 years of experience www.NLMphotography.com 408.807.2192 Herrera’s Cleaning Relax! your house is clean “Trust your home to us” Serving all of the South Bay for over 5 years, HC Herrera’s Cleaning Service is your resource for weekly, biweekly, or monthly cleaning. Our complete services include kitchen and bath, floors, dusting, and carpet cleaning. We pay attention to the extra details that really make a difference. We are licensed, bonded, and locally owned and operated. www.herrerascleaning.net Call today for a custom quote and find out about our special offers for new clients. 48 M • everymommagazine.com 408-887-7765 Take 25% off Your First Cleaning with this Ad M • everymommagazine.com 49 Lonely Moms Looking Online I t was the 3:00 AM feeding and my two-week old firstborn son, on this particular night, was wide awake and showed no apparent signs that either one of us would soon be returning to sleep. I sat in the rocking chair with him cradled in my arms, admiring his sweet face, when all of a sudden he went completely cross-eyed and began staring me down with a terrifying demonic expression. In this moment I desperately needed to call someone who could reassure me that a) my baby was not a demon, b) that I was not having a post-partum psychotic episode, and most importantly, c) that he would not be cross-eyed forever. But alas, there was no one I felt like I could call at three in the morning to voice my concerns. I was alone. Find new friends on the Internet and share the joys of motherhood with other moms like you. By Lisa Hurd-Walker What I didn’t know at that moment was that I was not alone. A recent online survey found that moms seem lonelier and more disconnected than ever. Sixty percent of moms report feeling lonely at some point in the last month and 80% feel like they don’t have enough friends. 50 M • everymommagazine.com ©iStockphoto.com/ Grafissimo ©iStockphoto.com/ lisegagne Offline Supports Systems for Moms Are Shrinking The moms we spoke with who felt most disconnected were those who were lacking support from their families, emotionally isolated from their partners, or in an alienating stage of motherhood. Only 50% of the moms we surveyed lived near any family and just 19% were living in the communities where they were raised. On top of that, 80% surveyed said they don’t have enough support from their co-workers. And for many of these women, the lack of offline family and work support was not made up for in their friendships or marriages. Forty percent said they don’t have a best friend with whom they could share everything. And on top of that, more than half of them feel they don’t get to connect and talk with their husbands as much as they would like. The good news, though, is that increasing numbers of women with children are going online to forums and social networks and finding not only the support they lack offline, but lasting friendships as well. Moms Are Finding What’s Missing Online While the loneliness stats seem dire, lonely moms are fighting back. They are not turning to liquid lunches and midafternoon martinis to numb their pain; instead they are hopping online to search for the connections that are missing in their lives. Seventy percent talk to other moms in online forums and communities. What is more surprising is that 60% reported making a new friend online in the past year. The moms who have made new friends are connecting with other women online around their shared interests, life stories, and parenting issues. And while these friendships are starting out in cyberspace, they are now moving offline. One in three moms who made a new friend online has turned that friendship into a lasting offline one. Back To My Own Lonely Moment I didn’t call anyone I knew about my cross-eyed demon baby that night. But I did go online and find a posting in a parenting forum from another worried mom asking similar questions. There were dozens of responses from other more experienced mothers reassuring this mom about her own newborn and putting me completely at ease. I immediately joined the website and a group of mothers with babies my son’s age and have relied on these women for answers to countless questions over the past two years. I have also shared things about my life as a parent with them that none of my offline friends have ever heard. Not everyone is cut out for online friendship, but those who are willing to give it a try just might be surprised at who they’ll meet. Tips for Making New Friends Online Find the Right Virtual Hangouts: First, think about what kind of friends you are looking to make and then research the right space online to meet them. You should make a list of your existing friends (only your close friends) and the type of connection you share with each of them. By doing so you can find any gaps you’d like to fill. For instance, you might find from your list that you have a great group of mommy friends from your favorite playground but realize you don’t have even one friend who likes yoga or writing fiction. • If you want to meet people who share your interests and passions, you can use the search engines to find and join groups around those topics. • If you want to meet other local moms in your community or moms with children the same age, there are many mom communities online where you can join groups for your children’s age range or based on geographical location. Some cities also have amazing local mom community websites and listserves you can join to connect with large numbers of local moms. Continued on page 52 M • everymommagazine.com 51 Travis Whitfield ESQ Thoughtful, Decisive Legal Representation Going through a divorce is difficult enough. Finding an attorney who is knowledgeable and understanding doesn’t make things any easier. That’s why, for many people who are going through the difficult process of divorcing, Travis Whitfield is the attorney you need to provide thoughtful, decisive legal representation. With seventy percent of his clients being women, Whitfield is sensitive and thoughtful in dealing with his clients’ circumstances and needs. In most cases, his clients are married to businessmen or professionals and have two or more children. Many of the women he represents have become dependent on their husbands and, when it comes to divorce, they don’t question what their husbands have told them regarding their rights and obligations. During the initial consultation, Whitfield informs clients of what they are entitled to and what their rights truly are. Whitfield doesn’t consider himself to be a hero though. He has only his clients’ best interest in mind when educating them on the issues of child custody, spousal support and property division. “If women proceed with the divorce promptly,” he says, “the results are good.” When a woman spends too much time considering divorce and doesn’t file right away, she loses out financially. “What happens in this case,” says Whitfield, “is that while the woman has not yet decided to file, her spouse has already been advised by his lawyer to liquidate his assets.” “If a woman is ready to divorce, she owes it to herself and her children to inquire about her rights. She should not believe what she is being told by her friends and her husband because that information is almost always inaccurate.” Though many of his clients are women, Whitfield counsels many Bay Area men. Whitfield encourages male clients not to be overly generous but also to avoid being so combative that the assets are ground up in the divorce. From the husband’s perspective, it’s important to get the matter to court as quickly as the law allows. “The idea is to get everything on the table, make a reasonable offer and insist that the matter get to trial without delay. If you do that, you hold overall costs and the loss of equity down.” Whitfield does not discriminate when it comes to his clients but there is one exception to this rule. “I will not defend a man who does not pay child support. It’s just not right.” “When an individual is considering divorce, especially women, time is of the essence,” Whitfield stresses. “From a legal standpoint, I will not be able to do as a good a job for the client who waits as for the client who acts promptly.” Mediation or Traditional Litigation? Mediation generally is most advantageous for the spouse who has the superior financial power. In short, if one spouse earns a large proportion of family income and controls most of the community assets, that person would want to “mediate.” The spouse who has little knowledge of financial affairs, makes little or no family income, and has spent the marriage caring for children or a spouse, would generally suffer severely by mediating. The legal costs of traditional litigation are generally very low when compared to what the disadvantaged spouse may lose by mediating. Lonely Moms Looking Online From page 51 • If you want to meet new friends who are going through other similar life experiences (taking care of an elderly parent, health issues, work/life balance) you can also seek out groups online dedicated to those topics. same issue– often with humor and some savvy tips. • Once you’ve establish contact with people, if the site allows it, reach out and send them a connection or friend request so you can begin to keep up with them more regularly. To Join or Not to Join? That is the Question: When you are joining a site where you are looking to make new friends, you want to share enough about yourself in your profile to allow other people to get a sense of who you are but feel free to start out cautiously and guard your most personal information. • You can use an alias like “NY Momma” that shows a bit of your personality or use just your first name or first name and last initial • You should upload a personal icon so other members of the community know you’re a real person. If you’re not comfortable using a photo of yourself or cute picture of your kids, you can also create an avatar of yourself or use a photo of something you love – a picture of your feet on the beach or photo of your pet. • Definitely take the additional few minutes to fill out your profile on any site you join. People will always check out your profile after they’ve met you online and it is a great opportunity for you to share a bit about yourself with your potential new friends. You can add light facts like your favorite movies, books, hobbies, and quotes. Some sites even have a place for you to share why you joined the site so you can let everyone know you are looking to meet new friends who love the blues or are parenting toddlers. Dealing with Mean Girls Don’t be discouraged if you come across some mean girls online before you find a new bestie. Just like in your offline world, there will always be people online who you disagree with on certain topics or just don’t get along with period. The best way to deal with situations, as in real life, is to ignore the bully. If she posts negative comments about you, don’t respond. If you are “friends” on the site, disconnect from her so she stops getting notifications of the things you write or seeing you in her feed. If you begin to feel seriously harassed or threatened, get in touch with the customer support person for the community. They can mediate the situation and also shut down the account of the bully if she has violated the terms of service for the website. Breaking the Ice: You will want to take some time to get the lay of the land for any new site you’ve joined to make new friends. You should read a few posts on topics that interest you and the comments from other community members that follow on. You can also observe a live chat on a subject you care about. Once you feel comfortable with the conversations you are seeing in the community, you can join the conversation to introduce yourself a few ways: • Comment on some posts of other members or responding to a comment someone else posts often proves the easiest jumping-in point. • Ask a question that really matters to you (Does Anyone Have Any Tips on Potty Training a Stubborn 3-year old boy? Help needed!) The moms who answer you will be those who have wrestled with the Testing Offline Chemistry When you do get lucky and meet someone online you really connect with and think could become a great friend, take some time to develop your online connection before sharing your personal email address or phone number. You can be cautious and still develop a great friendship. Once you feel like you are ready, start with a phone call and see if the online persona translates over the phone. If you two chatter all night on the phone like school girls you just might be ready to meet. You can suggest meeting up for coffee to get to know each other in person. In the right circumstance, you’ll find that it’s amazing how easily online connections, with the secrets shared and trust built-up over time, can translate to hard and fast offline friendships. And if the offline chemistry just isn’t there, you can continue to enjoy each other’s company virtually or move on to other moms you get to know along the way. We all know that motherhood is hard and, yes, sometimes lonely. You need people to talk it through with and, sometimes, to take your mind off of it and remind you who else you are. If for whatever reason you don’t have the support you need, consider looking online. There are a lot of moms who are in the same boat. Phone 408-879-9039 Fax 879-9327 www.mrdivorce.com 2055 Junction Avenue, Suite #118 San Jose, California 95131 52 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 53 Spoiled By Lana Bowers Photos by Jeremy Waldorph H ave you heard about the high school student with her own personal assistant? Yes, you read that right—a teenager with her own personal assistant! And no, she’s not Miley Cyrus. What about the fouryear-old preschooler who wears True Religion jeans every day and yet another who wears Burberry on a regular basis? Who knew those designers even made stuff so small—is there really such a demand for tiny designer duds? Apparently so. Then there’s the first grade boy who is in heavy negotiations with his mother for an iPhone. I wonder whom he would call. Maybe the eleven year old girl who already owns one? This young fashionista reaches into her Juicy Couture purse, pulls out a 3G iPhone, and her expertly manicured fingertips go to work. She’s sending text messages faster than a court reporter can shorthand witness testimony. She puts the phone to her ear. If you eavesdrop on her conversation, you can hear her saying, “O.M.G.! That’s like, so not possible!” A shimmer of pale pink lip gloss accentuates her mouth as she talks. Her tone and speech patterns indicate there may actually be another iPhone-toting eleven-year-old on the other end of the line. In my assessment, between the girl’s clothes, her purse, and her iPhone, the “stuff ” this eleven-year-old has on her person is worth more than an entire semester at community college. But, do designer clothes and high tech gadgets a spoiled child make? Can it be that a teenager with a PA isn’t completely spoiled? Is it possible these kids have actually earned their lot and understand its value? O.M.G. That’s like, so not possible! Make way for the new generation. They’re dressed like rock stars, electronically connected and completely spoiled. They are the “just-sayyes” generation—ask them the meaning of the word, “no” and they’ll stare blankly. While it might be possible they may know the meaning of the word, they never actually hear it. Here’s the thing: unless your child can blink things in and out of existence á la “I Dream of Jeannie”, she’d better learn to cope with “no.” And having money isn’t the problem—in fact, it’s often the goal. It’s the generation’s ability to value money along with their relationships, time, belongings and their own self-worth that’s being called into question. It’s our job as parents to teach our children what is truly valuable so they can grow up to be productive and engaged members of society. It’s Not Them, It’s Us Stefanie T. was horrified when, during a trip to the park with her children, she encountered a mother who was completely unable to utter the word “no” to her two-year old. The child saw—and then demanded—a soft, squishy ball that Stefanie had tucked safely away in the compartment beneath her stroller. As the child dove for the ball, Stefanie gently slid the stroller away. The child went into fits of screaming and tears. While a child wanting toy, and then becoming upset at not being able to have it, is not so unusual—it was the mother’s response that was shocking. The mother, instead of simply saying “no,” offered to buy the toy right out of Stefanie’s stroller—she practically begged. When Stefanie refused to sell the toy, the child launched into a new level of screaming. The Adult Model: Pamela Fields Child Models: Veronica and Renee Location: “Kool Kids Couture” Downtown Willow Glen Hair/Makeup by Roanne Zaragoza Styled by Max Gallo frantic mother had a terrified look on her face. Frustrated with Stefanie’s refusal to “help,” the mother promised the child they would stop at the toy store on the way home. There’s no doubt about it. It’s really, really hard to say no to our kids. What parent doesn’t want to give in to their children’s every wish? Isn’t it our most fervent desire as parents to see our children happy? Don’t we all just live for those moments when our children’s faces light up with joy––all because we said the magic word, “yes”? We love those moments so much that, heck, sometimes we say yes to things our children haven’t even asked for. Like the mother who found a fabulous pair of 7 for Mankind jeans in her daughter’s size, for only $65—such a deal! When she got them home, her husband looked at her in disbelief. He didn’t think they were “such a deal” especially since the several pairs of jeans already in the little girl’s closet had rarely been worn. Brand was irrelevant. The woman returned the jeans and thought long and hard about why she had really bought them. “I think I did it for me,” she said “to impress others.” That honesty is hard to find. Don’t get me wrong, I like quality clothing as much as the next mom, especially if it makes me look less like a “mom” and more like a movie star. But be careful what message you’re sending. What covers you on the outside isn’t an indication of self-worth—it’s what’s inside those designer clothes that counts. Why, why, why! Most people would do well to take a similar look in the proverbial mirror. Maybe you wouldn’t hire a personal assistant for your teenager but how well can she manage her own time without you? Ask people 56 M • everymommagazine.com why other people spoil their kids, and, for the most part, you’ll get a surprisingly small set of answers with number one being flat-out laziness. “Parents just don’t want to say ‘no’ to their kids,” said one mom. “It’s too hard to deal with the fall-out, so they say ‘yes’ instead and the problem grows. The kid never learns to cope with ‘no.’” Others believe guilt is a key factor. With today’s economy and work-a-holic lifestyle, Mom and Dad might be traveling, working long hours and otherwise not spending time with their kids so they compensate with material goods. Finally, many people listed self-serving reasons that best boil down to vanity. Whether it’s keeping up with the Joneses, reclaiming youth vicariously, or simply seeing children as an extension of themselves, vanity has helped to keep kids fashionable and hip. And while there is no hard-fast, scientific evidence of the effects on children who have been spoiled rotten, no one wants to have completely spoiled kids but “semi-spoiled” seems acceptable for most. But examining the “why” question inevitably begs the “what” question. What is “Spoiled?” The verb, “spoil” is defined by Merriam Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary as follows: “a) to impair the disposition or character of by overindulgence or excessive praise” and “b) to pamper excessively.” The tricky part in all of this is determining the boundaries of reasonable versus excessive, especially when it’s all relative. For example, one could argue that today’s bar and bat mitzvahs are “excessive” as they often rival weddings from both a cost and an extravagance perspective. A Jewish mother might rebut that argument by declaring that, relative to the importance of the event, these lavish celebrations are a cultural expectation and she doesn’t consider them excessive at all. Another mother might argue that designer clothing is affordable in relation to her bank account. What’s a few hundred dollars here and there when she can afford it? Ask a teacher and she’ll confirm that “excessive” can reveal itself in classroom behavior as well. She might tell you about the kid who’s never donned designer duds in his life but who has a wicked sense of entitlement. She might talk about the child’s mother—a “helicopter parent”—relentlessly defending her son’s right to an education that suits his specific needs; she will not compromise and will fight his every battle for him. In addition to being every teacher’s worst nightmare, this mother has taught the child to blame others (such as the school or his teachers) for his own faults. Given the obvious relativity problem, the solution can only exist in maintaining consistent boundaries. It’s up to you to decide the line between reasonable and excessive, and it’s up to you to enforce it. Kids will always ask for more. could stop paying the cable bill and save that same $700 over time.” It’s hard to refute her logic. Stacy R. has a four-year-old son, Mack. Stacy’s husband enjoys an occasional golf game and has, on more than one occasion, taken Mack to the driving range. Mack is showing an avid interest in golf and asks to play on a regular basis. Stacy and her husband agreed to sign Mack up for golf lessons (approx. $250 for four 30-minute sessions). Given that many schools do not feature golf as part of their athletics program, is Stacy spoiling Mack or are they investing in his future? “What if Mack is the next Tiger Woods?” Stacy says with a hint of embarrassment. Don’t roll your eyes just yet—I recognize she sounds like every mom who wants to find that extreme, rare talent in her child, and I further recognize there is only one Tiger Woods in a vast sea of golf wannabes. But what if Mack is the next Woods? What if, by enabling Mack to play golf at such a young age, Stacy has helped her son to discover his “true self ” and given him the confidence to chase his dreams? When he wins the US Open, will he not have done the work and earned it? But Is It All Bad? When I think of “spoiled,” I think of that which has gone bad, like fruit or milk. But what happens when something that one might consider spoiled turns out to be a good thing? Like sour cream, blue cheese or penicillin, is it possible that not all forms of spoiling are bad? Yvonne C. admits to spending around $700 on Legos for her son, which she sees as reasonable. “On the surface,” she says, “it may seem like a lot of money. But, the fact is, he is capable of doing the Lego sets designed for kids twice his age and he no longer watches television. I A Lesson from the Past As a child, I once complained to my mother about being poor. In my opinion, we were poor because other kids got lots of things growing up—designer jeans, cool shoes and expensive toys—and I didn’t. To this, my mother responded, “What did you ever need that you didn’t get?” I guess she was right. I got everything I needed including discipline and a strong work ethic. Now, to teach my son the same values… I’ll start by saying no. M • everymommagazine.com 57 Dressed t o Impress Table settings that set the mood Photos by Norma Lopez Molina Table design and linens by Resource One The perfect table-setting for a sophisticated New Years Eve celebration. Dazzle guests with metallic touches, chic fabric and sparkling votives. H ouse dressing is not just for salad. Are you playing hostess to friends and family this season? Looking for simple but beautiful ways to dress up the holiday table? Here are some suggestions that will illuminate not only the candles on the dinner table but your entire celebration. Just by switching out the linens, Resource One in L.A. and New York have created three gorgeous tablescapes using the same dinnerware. Vibrant glow 58 M • everymommagazine.com Linens by Roberta Karsch Resource One www.resourceone.info 1. The secret is in the linens. Different colors, textures, and sparkles, take your table from pretty to stunning. 2. Mood lighting. Enhance your color palette with many small votive candles. The closer the candles are to the table, the more they can reflect against the glassware and linens creating a soft glow. 3. Flowers. Little clusters of flowers in the same style and color palette are a simple way to decorate—lessons in arranging flowers are not required. 4. China. The most versatile are clear glass with interesting design details (metallic-edged, etched, frosted, textured etc.). They will go with linens in any color and can be used in conjunction with solid colored tableware. 5. Details. For an elegant table go with the usual suspects: candelabras, delicate flower vases, votives, antique bottles, place holders, embellished napkin holders, trays and centerpieces, and even decorative figurines. For a less formal look, go with natural elements like branches, stones, origami or other fun paper confection, or surprise guests with the unexpected and decorate with toys, candies, shells, buttons and anything else that goes with your theme. Create a beautiful table that friends and family will remember for years. Be creative, and most of all, have fun with it! M • everymommagazine.com 59 Elegant fabrics Rich text ures Richly colored layers of silk, satin, and plush faux fur against a delicate softly colored sheer lend warmth and elegance. 60 M • everymommagazine.com Shimmering damask, embossed with an elegant design, layered atop striped silk makes for a sumptuous and luxurious setting. M • everymommagazine.com 61 food & merriMent M cuisine La Mar Cebicheria Peruana La Mar Cebicheria Peruana is located in historical pier 1-1/2, situated in the midst of San Francisco’s famous Embarcadero promenade. Inspired by the thousands of cebicherias found throughout Peru, Gaston Acurio created La Mar as an attempt to globalize and preserve one of the best guarded treasures of Peruvian cuisine; cebiche. CAU CAU – Serves 1 CAU CAU Above Chef Rodolfo Castellanos Reyes. La Mar Cebicheria Peruana Pier 1 1/2, of the Embarcadero San Francisco, CA 94111 Reservations: 415.397.8880 www.lamarsf.com 62 M • everymommagazine.com 4 Clams 1 Cup of fish stock 3 Scallops U10 1 Cup of Arborio Rice – Pre‐cooked (Al dente) 1 Tbs caramelized onions 2 Tbs of green peas 4 Mint leaves 1 Yukon potato – diced ¼ Tsp of turmeric 1 Tbs of Aji Amarillo paste (can be found at a latin market) ½ Stick of butter 1 oz. of heavy cream ½ Bunch of wild arugula Olive Oil Grated parmesan to taste In a small pot, simmer ½ cup of fish stock. Add the pre‐cooked Arborio Rice, caramelized onions and green peas. Simmer for 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Turn off heat and add heavy cream, table spoon of butter and table spoon of parmesan. Stir and reserve. In a separate small pot, simmer ½ cup of fish stock. Add the Aji Amarillo, mint, clams, diced potatoes and a pinch of turmeric. Let simmer for 3 minutes or until the clam shells open. Add salt and/or butter to taste. Remove the clams from the broth and leave in a bowl. Reserve. In a sauté pan, sear the scallops on high heat until golden brown. (1 minute on each side) Presentation: on a medium size plate, divide 3 small portions of the risotto. Place the roasted scallops on top of each portion of risotto and pour a little bit of the mint and clam broth onto the plate. Set the diced potatoes and cooked clams around the plate (do not pour over the portioned risotto). Garnish each scallop with arugula, lightly sautéed in olive oil. Rodolfo Castellanos Reyes was born October 27, 1980 in Oaxaca, the culinary capital of Mexico, and one of the greatest treasures of the food world. His culinary career began at a young age helping his mother’s traditional Oaxacan food service. Rodolfo began his studies at the Puebla Culinary School at 18, where he graduated in 2003, earning a chef ’s license in gastronomy. He then earned a full scholarship from the Turquois Foundation to learn abroad in Monaco, France, for a year. After completing his culinary education overseas, and refining his French techniques, he staged at Hotel Hermitage, Monte Carlo in the gastronomic restaurant, Le Vistamar. He worked alongside Chef Joel Garault, veteran of the best restaurants of the French Riviera. Rodolfo first arrived in the United States in 2004, and decided to make haste in San Jose as a sous chef at Left Bank, American Bistro. He then settled in San Francisco in 2006 to lend his expertise in French cuisine with Chef Traci des Jardins, co‐owner of Jardinere, a French dining restaurant in Hayes Valley of San Francisco. He is now extending his skills at La Mar Cebicheria Peruana, located on the Embarcadero of Pier 1 ½. Chef Reyes’ prominent dreams are to open his own restaurant back in Oaxaca. Awards and Accolades 2001 Golden Award in the Culinary Arts Seminar of Bruges, Belgium. 2004 Third place in the 24th Culinary Contest of Grand Cordon. Casual, Contemporary Global Cuisine Sample Tasting Menu Pan-Seared Foie Gras w/ Rhubarb Compote Butter Poached Halibut w/ Caramelized Fennel & Caviar Rare Ahi w/ Baby Bok Choy and Citrus Soy Grilled Skirt Steak w/ Pearl Pasta & Figs Grilled Lamb Chop w/ Mediteranean Flavors 11 College Ave Los Gatos, CA 95030 (408) 395-2804 WWW.TAPESTRYBISTRO.COM [email protected] M • everymommagazine.com 63 M gift gallery 2009 Délirante Red Chronograph From Mauboussin, bold and masculine both in color and design, this chronograph is an elegant gift for that special man on your list. Made in Switzerland. $2750 at www.vivre.com. Wine Stopper The perfect hostess or holiday gift for your favorite wine-lover. Dichroic glass wine stopper, $40.00 at Shop With Mee, 4904 Soquel Drive, Soquel or at www.bhopefulcom. Derringer Moto-Hybrid by Derringer Cycles Conceived by industrial designer Adrian Van Anz as a missing link between his Ducati and his Schwinn, this inventive set of wheels takes the compromise out of environmentalism with fueleconomy ratings that can exceed 150-MPG. Pedal it, power it, or do a little of both. Orange with white tires and an antiqued brown leather saddle. $10,000 at www.vivre.com. 64 M • everymommagazine.com Citrine Topaz Necklace Inspired by the French Art Deco era, this necklace features a 129 carat Citrine Topaz, 2.50 carats total weight of diamonds and Black Onyx, all set in 18k White and Yellow Gold. $19,800. Citrine Topaz Ring The design of this ring was also inspired by the French Art Deco era. It features a 15 carat Faceted Top Citrine Topaz, black & white diamonds and Black Onyx, all set in 18k Yellow and White Gold. $5,800. Both pieces from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels. 325 Sharon Park Drive, Menlo Park. 650-854-4740 www.erinmac.net. M • everymommagazine.com 65 Magna-Tiles Magna-Tiles are where math, science and creativity meet! Recent winner of ASTRA’s Best Toys for Kids 2009. $52.99 for the 32 piece set at Cheeky Monkey Toys. 640 Santa Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park. www.cheekymonkeytoys.com. Cashmere Wrap and Gloves Go Kit for New Moms. The luxurious cashmere wrap and tiered cashmere gloves will keep the stylish woman on your list nice and warm. $98 and $30 at Banana Republic stores or bananarepublic..com. Introducing the new Go kit for new moms. Neatly and stylishly holds diapers and wipes in your purse. Available at lizzysbusybaby.com for $12.95. Diamonds and Emeralds Spoil yourself or someone special with jewels from PNG Jewelers. Featured: one-of-a-kind natural emerald necklace and earring set in 22K gold $2037, classy 1.00-carat Diamond earrings set in 18K white gold $1186 and beautiful .32-carat diamond bracelet in 18K white gold $778. These and many more traditional and contemporary styles are available at PNG Jewelers Inc. 820 E. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale CA 94087. 408.245.6764. www.pngjewelers.com. IFly Give the Gift of Flight! Indoor skydiving is the SAFE alternative to jumping out of an airplane. Our vertical wind tunnel offers endless free fall excitement and adventure for all ages 3-94. First-time-flyer packages start at just $49.99. Go to www.iflysfbay.com to purchase gift certificates Sigikid Plush Pony with Musical Box Massage Envy Sally Spicer Pocket Tote Stylish tote with multi pockets for all your needs! Washable fabric. Add a changing pad and it converts to a fabulous diaper bag. Tote $95. Pad $10. Both available at Edwards Luggage in Stanford Shopping Center, Palo Alto and Hillsdale Shopping Center, San Mateo. Mom Agenda 17 month calendar from August 09 thru December 2010. Unique month and week-at-a-view with space for mom and up to 4 children! All in one. Assorted colors. $45. 66 M • everymommagazine.com Vintage Jewels Make a statement with vintage inspired jewelry from Janet Falkner Designs. Stunning one-of-a-kind jewelry and hair accessories created from vintage jewelry make a unique gift . Featured is a 1950’s Fushia crystal Weiss pendant with vintage purple Czech beads and custom Swarovski crystal box clasp. $288 at janetfalknerdesigns.com. Give the gift of relaxation and take advantage of the wonderful therapeutic and stress relieving benefits of massage. $49 for first time visitors. Gift certificates available at Sunnyvale Massage Envy. 413 E. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale. 408-737-9888 This toy is for the special child on your list. Soft and snuggly, and made of 100% naturally organic materials, tots will want to cozy up to this adorable musical pony. Pull the cord and this cuddly toy will lull your little one to sleep to the tune of Brahm’s Lullaby. $112 at Treehouse in the Glen. 1275 Lincoln Ave, San Jose. Family Session from BellaLu Photography Nothing is more priceless to a mother than beautiful images of the people she loves the most. BellaLu Photography specializes in capturing the essence of your family in a unique and stunning way. Images are rich, vibrant and simply gorgeous. Family sessions begin at $95 Create a beautiful customized gift certificate at www.BellaLuPhotography.com or book directly by calling 408.510.8225. M • everymommagazine.com 67 Shop Downtown Willow Glen www.willowglen.org Leica M3 Silver Digital Camera by Minox Harajuku Lovers ‘Love’ Eau de Toilette Spray Beautifully engineered, this tiny delight comes packed with technology that more than stands up to its larger counterparts. With a resolution of up to five megapixels, the new Digital Classic Camera delivers detailed images with an impressive sharpness. And there’s no need to worry about memory space. All data is stored on SD cards with a capacity of up to 4 GB. $199 at www.vivre. com. 1.800.867.4438 Inspired by the electric street scene of the Harajuku shopping district in Tokyo are five fragrances created by musical artist, Gwen Stefani, each with their own scent and style. Perfect for the young lady on your list. Choose the girl that best fits her personality. Featured here: Love, scented with pink peonies, delicate paperwhites, roses and sensuous musk. By Harajuku Lovers. $45 at Nordstrom stores. Personalized Billiard Balls For the one who has everything. This colorful set of billiard balls are handmade of clear and brightly colored acrylic and can be personalized with the name or monogram of that special someone. Stylish wooden rack is included. $260.00 at Neimanmarcus.com Jeweled Pinktooth Wireless Headset and Earphones The Heart of the Holidays in C Willow Glen ome celebrate all the good things about the holiday season with us here in Downtown Willow Glen. Alive with the twinkling of holiday lights… the melodies of cheerful carols… the unmistakable aromas of holiday specials wafting from our restaurant doorways… over 300 of our local merchants are poised with just the right answer for your shopping list. There’s no place like home for the holidays and here in Downtown Willow Glen, our merchants are here to help you make this holiday season something very special for you and family. Let’s celebrate the Heart of the Holidays, together… Wireless headset and retractable decorative earphones are studded with Swarovski Crystals and come packaged in a coutoure “candy” tin making this ear candy a fun gift for the stylish techie on your list. Wireless headset works with all Bluetooth enabled cellphones $48. Earphones accessorize your music habit, whether it be with an iPod, portable CD player or your personal computer $39. Both at chicbuds.com. Kate Spade Suede Flats Horse Drawn Wagon Rides Neely chocolate brown Suede Flat adorned with Jewels for the fashionista on your list–so cute you’ll want a pair for yourself! $295 at Footcandy, Santana Row. Cool Computer Bag Especially for the working mom. Pleated tote has multiple interior pockets to keep this bag organized and free of clutter. A cleverly concealed pocket unzips to allow the bag to slide over rolling luggage handles for easy travel. Bags are constructed of coated canvas and feature brushed metal hardware, making them durable and water resistant. Available exclusively at CoolComputerBags.com, $69.99. Every Saturday 6-9pm & Sunday 2-5pm, Nov. 28th - Dec. 20th & Dec. 24th, 2-5pm. FREE Wagon Rides Nov. 28, 29, 6-9pm & Dec. 6, 2-5p courtesy of the Willow Glen Business Association. Wagon ride rates: Kids $10, Adults $12. On Dec. 24th all riders are $15. Photos with Santa Claus Every Weekend from Nov. 27th – Dec. 24th. Visit our website for times. Tree Lighting Ceremony Nov. 28th, 5:30pm – 6:30pm. For a complete list of events, go to www.willowglen.org Shop Downtown Willow Glen 70 M • everymommagazine.com www.willowglen.org M • everymommagazine.com 71 Treehouse in the Glen More than just Toys, we specialize in Unique Heirloom Treasures Gobblet Gobbler $21.99 Evi Doll $109.99 Organic Kindertraum Doll $169.00 Keva 100 Planks $46.99 Skuut Balance Bike $95.99 Quadrilla Basic Set $69.99 Steiff Trunk Show Nov. 22nd 1-3 pm Dr. Hauschka Skin Care Sale 20% Off, Nov. 14th - Dec. 24th Photos with Santa & Horse Drawn Wagon Rides every Sat. 6-9pm &Sun. 2-5pm, Nov. 28th to Dec. 24th. Call 408-294-TOYZ*(8699) for details. Steiff Polar Bear $495.00 A Simple Hearth (Solid Cherry Wood) $399.00 Silicon Valley ’s only Green Certified Toy Store! 408.294.TOYZ (8699) 1275 Lincoln Ave. San Jose, CA 95125 www.treehouseintheglen.com saM pled food on the fly With the holidays looming ahead, hectic schedules become more chaotic than ever and shortcuts are essential. While preparing dinner for the family can be simplified, putting together quick meals that are not only healthy but also delicious can be a challenge. Here are three meals we’ve sampled that can be prepared in a half hour or less that are both good-tasting and good for you. We chose only meals that were made with quality ingredients and that could easily be picked up or ordered from local grocery stores and food shops. Korean Barbecue Shortribs Thai Jasmine Rice Shelled Edamame Mochi Ice Cream Prep Time: 20 minutes This is one of the quickest and tastiest meals we sampled and it has found a place in the regular dinner menu rotation at our house. In terms of shopping and convenience, this rated highly since it is readily available at a local Trader Joe’s and all the items can be gathered quickly from the frozen food aisle making shopping a snap. But above all, everything can be prepared in a matter of minutes and the food is good—really good. The savory marinated beef short ribs won raves at the table from the whole family, and the best thing about them is that they take just about ten minutes to cook, either charcoal grilled on the barbecue or inside on a grill pan. The Thai Jasmine Rice is the perfect side dish with the succulent short ribs. The pre-cooked rice comes in a box which serves about six. Pop each two-serving packet in the microwave and in two minutes you will have perfectly steamed, rice for the whole family—sure beats boiling water and waiting twenty minutes. With a side of edamame, which takes a just a minute or two in the microwave, a complete meal that is delicious and nutritious can be on the table in just about 15 minutes. End the meal with mochi ice-cream and dinner is complete. Trader Joe’s, Bay Area Locations, www. traderjoes.com. 74 M • everymommagazine.com Florentine Turkey Meatloaf Roasted Potatoes Green Beans with Shallots Pecan Pie Tartlets Carrot Ginger Soup Herb Roasted Chicken Butter Bean Tagine Garlic Mashed Potatoes Prep Time: 15 minutes Nothing says home-made (even if it’s not) like meatloaf, the quintessential blue plate special and the epitome of mom’s home cooking. Add roasted potatoes and a side dish of crisp green beans and you have dinner just like mom used to make—except you didn’t have to make it. A quick stop in the deli section of Whole Foods is all it takes to get this meal on your table. The meatloaf, made with ground turkey, spinach and Parmesan cheese is a health conscious take on the classic ground beef meatloaf recipe. The ground turkey sets up a little firmer than ground beef and the addition of tomato sauce and grated Parmesan gives it a distinctly Italian flavor. The addition of spinach is an added nutrition boost that kids won’t readily detect and turn up their noses at. The potatoes are roasted with their skins on in olive oil and parsley. The green beans are prepared al dente and enhanced with a hint of shallots and parsley. A sprinkling of salt and fresh ground pepper livens up both side dishes nicely. Again, because the food is already prepared, it takes only minutes of reheating to get this homey meal on the table. Pecan tartlets from the bakery section are a sweet way to wrap up the meal. Whole Foods Market, Bay Area Locations, www.wholefoodsmarket.com. Prep Time: 15 minutes max. This is the perfect meal to serve the family on a cold winter night when only comfort food will do. Start off the meal with a bowl of hot and creamy carrot ginger soup made with organic carrot juice complimented by the warmth and sweetness of fresh ginger. Course number two of herb roasted free range chicken is the perfect comfort food dish. The chicken was roasted to a perfect golden brown and mildly flavored with a mixture of herbs, including parsley and rosemary. The chicken was juicy and well cooked and, with the addition of a little table salt, perfectly seasoned. The garlic mashed potatoes, made with Yukon Golds, garlic, and cream, were the perfect accompaniment to the herb roasted chicken—we added just a touch of butter and milk to loosen up the texture and to get it back to a fluffy consistency after storing them in the fridge all day until dinnertime. The sides dish of butter beans, served in an aromatic tomato sauce punched up with the heady flavors of cinnamon, cumin, and coriander, rounded out the meal. Because the food was already prepared, the only thing to do was to heat up each dish in the microwave for one to two minutes, and voila! Dinner was on the table in less than 20 minutes! Beautifull, 3401 California Street, San Francisco www.beautifull.com. M • everymommagazine.com 75 roaM November December November 27 – January 1 Christmas in the Park Caesar Chavez Park, Downtown San Jose 9:00 am – 12:00 am San Jose’s best-known holiday tradition, Christmas in the Park, is now in its 29th year. Come stroll among 60 animated displays, hundreds of decorated trees and thousands of twinkling lights. There is also nightly entertainment by local schools and groups; check the North Pole information booth. Saturday, December 5 Handbell Choir Performance at the History Museum San Mateo County History Museum, Redwood City 10:00 am - 4:00 pm Ring in the holidays with the sounds of handbells! The San Mateo County History Museum comes alive to the sound of holiday music. The San Francisco State University Handbell Choir will perform a variety of European holiday folk tunes. Saturday & Sunday, December 5 & 6 Finishing Touches: A Holiday Los Altos Festival of Lights Parade Tour of Fine Homes Sunday, November 29 Downtown Los Altos 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm Since 1977, the Festival of Lights Parade has brought “A Child’s Holiday Fantasy” to life for the entire Los Altos community. Originally a small gathering, the parade has grown over the years to a dazzling display of lighted floats, local High School marching bands, and glowing costumed characters – although Santa with his sleigh and reindeer remains the star of the show! West Atherton 10:00 am – 4:00 pm & 10:00 am – 3:00 pm This holiday event features a tour of four elegantly embellished homes in the west Atherton area. After the tour, guests will have the opportunity to shop in a holiday-themed marketplace, enjoy a snack in the Mistletoe café and participate in raffles. Parking and check-in is available at the event’s home base, Sacred Heart School in Atherton. Tickets are now on sale and can be purchased at www.finishingtoucheshometour.com for $40 in advance and $50 at the door. Saturday & Sunday December, 5 & 6 and 12 & 13 Holiday Gift Faire Guglielmo Winery, Morgan Hill 10:00 am – 5:00 pm Browse through a huge selection of unique holiday gifts and enjoy award winning wines, gourmet food, hot mulled wine, and carolers at the Guglielmo Winery 21st annual Holiday Gift Faire. From winethemed gifts to custom baskets, you’re sure to find the perfect gift for everyone on your Christmas list! Saturday, December 12 “The Nutcracker” Puppet Show Gamble Garden, Palo Alto 10:00 am, 11:30 am & 1:00 pm “The Nutcracker” tells the tale of young Clara, who rescues her toy Nutcracker from the evil Mouse King and turns him into a Prince. This show features Dancing Candies, The Snow Queen spreading snow over all the children, Prancing Clowns, Mechanical Toys, and Chinese Dragons. And of course the big battle between the Mouse King’s armies and the toys and candies! A Winter treat for all ages, featuring over 40 puppets. Sunday, December 13 The Elves & the Shoemaker Montalvo Arts Center, Saratoga 1:00 pm Laugh when two merry elves arrive at a small village in the Black Forest to discover a poor shoemaker and his wife who clearly need assistance. Their cleverness saves the shoemaker from a bleak and unhappy holiday in this classic, adored by both children and adults all over the world. January Thursday, January 7 The Exploratorium After Dark The Exploratorium, San Francisco 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm This first Thursday in January, find out what’s happening at Exploratorium After Dark. Come for after dark for cocktails, and conversation. The evening might include live performances, films, and new media, or feature cutting-edge technology and unexpected extravaganzas. Where else can you find music, a cash bar, and an intellectually stimulating playground for adults—all with free parking? To sign up for the Exploratorium’s After Dark e-mail list and receive event details, contact [email protected]. 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We offer a full range of cosmetic procedures and services, including: Botox Cosmetic Juvederm Restylane Laser Hair Removal Laser Liposuction Bio-identical Hormone Replacement Turn off your fat storing signals Botox Special $8.50/unit Radiesse Special $450/syringe Advertise with M Magazine call 408-834-5434 or email [email protected] Call us today! Joelle Osias, MD Stanford Trained, Obstetrics & GynecologyUniversity M Magazine is the place where the very best businesses really stand out. Mission Medical Clinic www.spa-joli.com [email protected] 650 843-0600744 San Antonio Road, Suite 16 Palo Alto CA 94303 LIMITED TIME OFFER! Take advantage of our 12 month No Interest financing. If paid within promotional period. Minimum monthly payments required. Offer ends November 30, 2009 78 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 79 One Second One Second (Part I) He said: (written by The Husband) “The toilet seat is up! Ugghh!” How many times have I heard that? What is it with toilet seats and women? Why so offended? When the toilet seat is down, I lift it up. It takes me…. one second. This is a common occurrence in our home because we have two sons – ages four and six, whom, thankfully, I can always blame. Now if I had to sit on that seat as often as my wife does, in a house with two young boys, I would have a sense of relief seeing the seat up. But not my wife. Have you seen that show on TV where a family has to live like they did in 1850? The wife gets up at 4 AM and spends the next 4 hours making bread, then 3 hours doing laundry. She has my sympathy. We have every power appliance known to man. And still, my stay at home wife insists on a cleaning service. “I just don’t have the time” she says. No doubt each second lost on that toilet seat issue. I suppose it is possible she is put out for more than one second because she has failed to notice that the seat is up. In the past two years she has crushed three pairs of my sunglasses and one pair of reading glasses with her butt. Two pairs of sunglasses bit the dust on chaise lounges in foreign countries. Two were crushed on the seat of her car. Her cheeks have launched a jihad and my glasses are the infidels. “I don’t look” she says smugly as if four pairs still do not warrant a change of thinking. I’m the only 45 year old guy driving a BMW while wearing six dollar sunglasses. But this strategy is also a failure. Apparently her cheeks have value sensors and the six dollar glasses are now in their eighteenth month. My reading glasses were not so lucky. You know what’s inconvenient? Sitting down to watch TV after a long day and having no remote control. How hard is it to leave the remote on the table? We have three critical remotes––one is lost at all times. I had to find it online and reorder it. I was not happy. I was inconvenienced. Now if I came home and saw my wife frantically looking for the toilet seat between the sofa cushions, then I would be sympathetic. One Second (Part II) She Said: (written by The Wife) Dearest Husband: Are you saying that your seconds are more important than my seconds? If I had any seconds to spare, I can think of about 10 things that I could do with my extra time than fiddling around with that darn toilet seat, including, (but not limited to): 1. Chewing my food 2. Shaving my left leg. 3. Shaving my right leg. 4. Lathering, rinsing, and repeating. 5. Moisturizing. 6. Combing my hair. 7. Flossing. 8. Clipping the raggedy nail on my right index finger 9. Plucking stray eyebrow hairs sprouting in random patches across my forehead; and 10. Finishing the third paragraph of a book I started in October... 2006. 80 M • everymommagazine.com ©iStockphoto.com/ alashi laughing Matters a day in the life of chickysara Lucky for you it’s not 1850. You are not out hunting and milking cows and farming for our food. I am at Safeway gathering all this stuff while the kids are trying to kill each other in the produce aisle. You make it sound like you’re out chopping wood and building a barn while I’m pressing buttons all day to get things done. Dirty underwear doesn’t just walk to the washer you know. Someone has to put it there. And those appliances you speak of. Those were your idea. You gave them to me for my birthday. (Gentlemen: do not ever give your wife any appliances that say “Happy Birthday Sweetheart! Now go clean something!”). And so was the cleaning service. Remember you volunteered to clean the toilets because you were tired of hearing me whine (yes, I whined–and a lot!)? And after a couple of times it was you who said, toilet scrubber in hand, and I quote: “Honey, why don’t you hire the cleaners as soon as possible?” I mean I only had to clean the toilets like 2,080 times and you only had to do it twice before you deemed it reasonable to hire some help. As for your sunglasses: If you don’t want me to crush them, don’t put them in a chair, or car seat, or chaise lounge, or sofa or anywhere else my rear end is attracted to. I am truly not out to get your glasses. Just put them on a table. I do not like to sit on tables because tables are not for sitting on but for putting things on like food, or books, or knick-knacks, or even glasses! And by all means, treat yourself to some expensive sunglasses to match your fancy car. You’re smack dab in midlife. I get it. When I get to be your age, I’m shopping for new boobs and a Lexus. And finally, as my mother likes to say, “Look with your eyes not with your mouth.” There isn’t a single day that goes by when you don’t say, “Where are my glasses?” If I had a nickel for every time you started a sentence with the words “Where’s the (fill in the blank here)…?” we would be rolling in it. I promise you, the remote is there. You just have to take a second to look. Use your glasses sweetie–sometimes they are sitting right on top of your cute little head. And just so you know, I will never shut up about the toilet seat. Put the seat down. Please. It only takes…one second. HAVE A UNIQUE BIRTHDAY PARTY! Are you all “Pumped” Out? Try something new! Parties start at just $195 and include: “Special TOYS for Special Kids” 35 W. Main Street, Los Gatos CA 95030 408-354-6417 www.bellsandwhistleslg.com • 2 Hours for 10 Jumpers • Pizza and Drinks • Really Clean Environment all participants recieve free jump socks • Mention M Magazine and receive an additional FREE XL PIZZA offer expires 12/31 616 South Main St., Milpitas 408-957-8915 [email protected] Drop in Rates are just $9 per hour 2nd hour is 50% off, expires 12/31 Call for Special Rates for Non-profits and fundraising events M • everymommagazine.com 81 a Moment with Maribella Maribella , age 3 Sunnyvale Massage Envy 408-737-9888 413 E EL Camino Real at Cezanne. Spalding Square Shopping Center, Sunnyvale ,CA 94087 Photos by Bellalu Photography Melt the Day Away What quality do you like most about yourself? Everything! What quality do you like least about yourself? I like everything. Who is your best friend and why? James. But sometimes Landon and Kayla. But mostly Mackenzie. I also like Tyson. I like to play with him. What is the worst thing that happened to you today? I hurt my eye playing with the boys at my house park. We went to the hospital and I was nice and I got a treat. Actually it didn’t happen today. A long time ago. It’s all better now. Who is the smartest person you know? I have to think Mama. Because Papa (Daddy) loves her and is her friend. If you could be an animal, what animal would you be? A crocodile. Then I’m going to cut cookies with my big teeth. What are three words that describe you? Nice eyes. 5 years old. Happy. Except I’m not 5. I’m 3 but I’m going to be 5 in 8 years and go to school!! What is the last book you read? Runaway Bunny. But prolly I like the big yellow Curious George book best cause it’s really really really long before going to sleep. What talent do you have that would amaze people? I’m kind of a rockstar. What’s something that made you angry today? When Papa told me to help him clean my room before Kayla and Landon came over. I told him first I had to check my schedule but he didn’t listen!!! What do you want to be when you grow up? A pirate. And then I’m gonna say argggh and shiver me timbers and drive my pirate ship boat to gramma’s house. Then we’ll play. Sunnyvale Massage Envy has a Great Massage for Every Body. We’ve made relaxation convenient by offering flexible appointment times to fit the busiest of schedules, and professional Massage Therapists to customize the perfect massage designed to fit your life. Oh, and did we mention the great price? Call today and try us out for just $49.* What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done? Gave my birthday presents to the hospital. Cause I don’t need them. That’s what mommy said. And the kids are gonna be so happy to play! Who’s your favorite superhero? Curious George. He’s also my favorite monkey. If you had a million dollars, what would you buy? Prolly I’d buy a truck. A real truck. Then I’d drive to Isaiah’s house and pick him up. We will wear our seat belts so we can be safe. If you had three wishes what would you wish for? Another baby sister again but Papa says no more babies!!! Also a crocodile. A real one. Actually maybe a toy one so it doesn’t bite me so hard. *Introductory offer for first time visitors. 82 M • everymommagazine.com M • everymommagazine.com 83 OPEN HOUSE: February 6, 2010 10 am - 12 noon EDUCATE NURTURE INSPIRE Grades: JK-8 Average Class Size:15 National Association of Independent Schools California Association of Independent Schools Discover Hillbrook At Hillbrook School we provide our students with a rigorous academic program that inspires a sense of curiosity and a joy in learning. Each child on our campus is known and valued, and we strive to instill in them a lifelong commitment to social responsibility and ethical leadership. We attribute our success to outstanding faculty, small class sizes, and the facilities of an unparalleled 14-acre campus. 300 Marchmont Drive Los Gatos, CA 95032 www.hillbrook.org