Spiritual Development Sarah I. Sprague Psychology 421 Dr. Moulds

Transcription

Spiritual Development Sarah I. Sprague Psychology 421 Dr. Moulds
Spiritual Development
Sarah I. Sprague
Psychology 421
Dr. Moulds
12/2/11
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Spiritual Development Kit
Getting Started: the Contents of the Kit
―The Word of God, of course, does not change, but my understanding of it does change because
I am a developing individual‖ (Hendricks 17).
Introduction: Take a moment to consider the following initial reflective questions concerning
the above excerpt.
1. Do you believe the Holy Bible to be the true, inerrant Word of God? Why?
a. Is it because it is what you have been taught since you were born (parents‟
religion)?
b. Is it because you have done the research and reflection and come to the
conclusion that it is the only logical explanation (scientific proof)?
c. Is it because you just feel it is right (spirituality)?
d. Do you not really know why you believe it (easiest to just accept it)?
e. Is it a combination of the above questions?
2. How has your understanding of the Word of God changed as you have developed?
a. What aspects of your development have influenced the way you have understood
the Word of God at different stages in your life?
The above questions are questions for which we, as future Christian educators, need to know our
answers with certainty. We need to know why we believe what we believe and how that has
changed and developed over time in order that we can help our struggling students as they
develop spiritually (Psalm 32:8). The purpose of this kit is to pose several scenarios, activities,
articles, viewpoints, research, and reflections to help you, as a future Christian leader of young
adults, understand your spiritual development in your personal context (reflection of your own
development through your life‟s stages) to assist you in your teaching ministry context (working
with the psychology and development of adolescents to see how that interacts with and
influences their spiritual development).
―No other age level is of more importance to the future of individuals, and, literally, to that of
society; because these are the years when youngsters crystallize their beliefs about themselves
and firm up their self-concepts, their philosophies of life and their values – the things that are the
ultimate determinants of their behavior‖ (Lounsbury 1).
Walk with me as I explore the six developmental areas discussed in class during the
psychological snapshot of adolescence on “becoming an adult” (included at the beginning of
each section as a review) to understand what can impact adolescents‟ spiritual journeys. Read,
reflect, meditate, pray, share, and enjoy!
Becoming an Adult, Developmental Area #1: Physical
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




Puberty, anywhere from 10 to 17 years.
Growth, 3 to 6 inches per year.
Follows a long period of “latency.”
Voice changes.
Females lead males approximately 2 years.

Possible problems:
o Skin.
o Uneven growth.
o Late or early maturing.
o Body perception.
In the space provided below, draw an exaggerated self-image of the way that you perceived
yourself when you were an adolescent going through puberty. Draw in a few close friends also.
When drawing yourself, did “nightmares” come back to haunt you (braces, acne,
chubbiness)?
Overall, did you have a positive or negative self-image of yourself when you were an
adolescent?
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When you were drawing in a few close friends in relation to your personal image, did you
find yourself comparing physiques? Did that make you feel better or worse about your
own image?
Adolescents, as we all know full well because we have all been one, are very aware of their
images. Physical appearances are a big deal (Santrock 60). Their bodies are changing in ways
that they had never imagined; to most, this is a shocking, scary, annoying part of the pubescent
years; however, it is unavoidable. We have all been there, we have all done that, and we have all
filed that away in the recesses of our minds…but this where the “fun” begins…dig out that old
file, „cuz we‟re going back! As teachers of adolescents we are not, nor are we ever going to be,
done dealing with physical development (in particular, puberty). Oh, the joys! We only thought
we had escaped the traumatic years, but in reality, every day we go to work we will be forced to
deal with braces, acne, chubbiness, body perceptions, egos, and so much more. In our line of
business we cannot simply ignore and belittle our students‟ “huge crises” over make-up, lost
braces rubber bands, and minimal facial hair; we need to remember what it was like—it is all
age-appropriate. We need to be there for our students as they face the earth-shattering traumas
of locker rooms, ball courts, playgrounds, and slumber parties.
To help us understand what they are going through physically, and in particular how that affects
their spiritual development, we will first take a look at a poem about adolescent female
development (and the corresponding horrors).
“Bra Shopping” by Parneshia Jones (Paschen 16-17)
Saturday afternoon, Marshall Fields, 2nd floor, women‘s lingerie department
Mama and I enter into no man‟s, and I mean no man in sight, land
or frilly lace, night gowns, grandma panties, and support everything.
A wall covered with hundreds of white bras, some with lace, ribbons,
and frills like party favors, as if bras are a cause for celebration.
Some have these dainty ditsy bows in the middle.
That‘s a nice accent don‘t you think? Mama says. Isn‘t that cute?
Like a dumb bow in the middle of the bra will take away some of the
attention from two looming, bulging issues.
Suddenly, a little woman with glasses attached to a chain around her neck,
who cares way too much about bras appears. What size is she? She asks.
You want something with support honey, winking at me.
My mother looks straight at my chest. Oh she‘s good size. She‘s out of that
training bra phase. I want her to have a bra that will hold them in proper.
Them, them she says, like they‟re two midgets I keep strapped to my chest.
I stand there while these two women, one my own kin, discuss the
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maintenance and storage of my two dependents.
We enter the dressing room where mirrors are waiting to laugh
at me. There are two women running in and out, half-naked,
with things showing that I hope never to see on my own body.
I stand there wasting away in a sea of bras, feeling like a rag doll under
interrogation with mama on one side and the bra woman on the other,
fixing straps, poking me, snapping the back, underwire begins to dig
my breasts a grave. The bra shapes my breasts into pristine bullets.
No movement, no pulse, no life, they just sit there like shelves.
After we are half-way through the bra inventory we check-out.
Oh honey, you picked some beautiful bras. The bra lady says.
Remember, hand wash. How about burned and buried, I think to myself.
The bra lady and my mother discuss how the bras fit just right
and will do the trick with no bouncing at all. Mama thanks the lady
for torturing me and we leave the nightmare that is the bra department.
My mother turns and looks at me. Now really, was that so bad?
As read in class, the following is an excerpt from the Cassie Bernall article:
―A devout Christian, Cassie drew solace from her faith—except when it came to that bane of
many a girl‘s existence, her looks‖ (Labash 21).
A summation:
―Early adolescents are experiencing some extraordinary physical changes during the junior
high years, and while they are aware of them, they often do not anticipate or understand them. If
we really believe in need-centered ministry, then it would seem only natural to consider a junior
higher‘s need to know about the changes taking place in his or her body and the need to be
assured that what is happening is good, not bad. God is not trying to make life miserable for
them. They need to know that these changes are normal, not something to be ashamed of nor
afraid of. Puberty happened to all of us, and we came th[r]ough it pretty well. So will they‖
(Rice 69).
As we can see, and maybe even remember from personal experience, changing adolescents are
quick to take the blame out on God. They are told that He has beautifully created their bodies,
but then they look in the mirror and are displeased with the image reflected back at them;
therefore, God is on the receiving end of their dissatisfaction. God takes the blame for, what
they see as, their imperfections. That is where we, as their Christian role models and their guides
through the puberty years, need to help them know and appreciate human value (1 Corinthians
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6:19). We are God‟s children; He has wonderfully and beautifully made us (Proverbs 31:30).
That sure is easy to say and preach now that we are done with baby fat and pimples, so we need
to be aware of how we deliver this message. Instead of simply telling the youth that God thinks
they are beautiful because of who they are (which, of course, He does), let us give them the
additional “tangible” support that they are desperately craving to lean on as well…
―Early adolescents need ways to gain a positive identity and a feeling of self-worth, and an
important part of a junior high worker‘s ministry can be to help kids find ways to accomplish
this. Art, music, writing, program planning, public speaking, service, dramatics, leadership,
teaching, sports ,humor, or just helping out are all possibilities…Build on their assets and help
them feel good about themselves even though they may not be winning the battle on the physical
front‖ (Rice 75).
Practice what we preach: Role-play with a partner, using the above suggestion as a starting
point, a middle school teacher and student discussion.
Scenario: Susie, a seventh grade girl, is struggling with image issues. Her face cannot
clear up, her body is filling out, and her hair is untamable. You notice Susie is sad a lot
lately and keeping distance from the other girls to avoid mockery and embarrassment. Have
a discussion with sad Susie about her self-esteem (focusing on self-worth outside of physical
appearances).
For additional thought and consideration, take a look at the abstract from the Journal of Human
Nutrition and Dietetics. What are your reactions to this program? Good or bad? Why? How
does the abstract relate to what we have been exploring?
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Becoming an Adult, Developmental Area #2: Sexual


Hormones.
Menarche, first ejaculations.

Possible problems:
o Involvement before.
o Developing a strong psychic structure.
o Adopting sex roles.
When did you first learn about the birds and the bees/how your body functions (age)?
Who did you learn it from (parent/teacher/pastor/friends)?
What was the context in which you learned about it (school/home/playground)?
Why were you curious (heard something from friends/felt your body changing/saw
something on T.V.)?
How do you wish you would have learned?
Read the Focus on the Family‟s “Talking About Sex and Puberty” excerpt included in the
spiritual development pack to get you in the mindset with which we will be working.
Adolescents are developing earlier and earlier—there is no denying that (Santrock 60). The
issue that we need to reflect on is how this impacts their sexual activity and, in turn, their
spirituality.
―With the onset of puberty comes the advent of sexual activity. By sexual activity, I mean
everything from fantasizing about sex and watching pornographic movies to sexual
intercourse. We hear a lot these days about the increasing number of junior highers who
are becoming sexually active. One recent study reported that 46 percent of fifth graders
have had sexual intercourse‖ (Rice 76).
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Did that statistic shock you like it shocked me? As much as we like to believe that all of our
students are perfect innocent little angels, that is not the case (just check the facts!) (Romans
3:23). The question is: How can we change this? How can we, their positive role model
Christian teachers, help our students understand what is pleasing in the Lord‟s eyes? It is clear in
Scripture that sex is a good thing when done in the proper context (between a married man and
woman) (Genesis 1:28, 1:31, 2:18, 9:1; 1 Corinthians 7:2-9; Hebrews 13:4)…but that is not what
society is telling them. Shows like “16 and Pregnant” or “The Secret Life of the American
Teenager” practically tell teenage girls that if they are not mothers before they graduate high
school that they are missing out on the glamorous “everybody‟s doing it” lifestyle.
―One out of every three children born today is born to an unwed mother‖ (Sonnenberg
140).
Thinking to yourself, “Well, sheesh; I‟m sure glad that I escaped the day and age of the
inappropriate content television series. I‟m sure glad that I never watched anything as crass as
those shows!” Hmm…take a minute and think back on what you used to watch when you were
in junior and senior high. “Friends”…“Gilmore Girls”…ring a bell? The blunt presentation of
sexual activity on television is not a new thing; the titles may not have been as revealing and
provocative, but the content sure was.
Take a minute to consider what that means to you (that in today‟s society, brutal openness and
casualness about sex on T.V. is common and craved). Are you okay with that? Do you crave it
(unknowingly?) because it keeps things interesting? You do not have to answer these questions
in writing, just be sure to keep your answers in the back on your mind as you make judgments
about your students that are struggling with the same issues with which you might have once
struggled (Matthew 7:1).
Awkward as it may be, read the following poem.
The Skokie Theater by Edward Hirsch (Paschen 39-40)
Twelve years old and lovesick, bumbling
and terrified for the first time in my life,
but strangely hopeful, too, and stunned,
definitely stunned—I wanted to cry,
I almost started to sob when Chris Klein
actually touched me—oh God—below the belt
in the back row of the Skokie Theatre.
Our knees bumped helplessly, our mouths
were glued together like flypaper, our lips
were grinding in a hysterical grimace
while the most handsome man in the world
twitched his hips on the flickering screen
and the girls began to scream in the dark.
I didn‟t know one thing about the body yet,
about the deep foam filling my bones,
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but I wanted to cry out in desolation
when she touched me again, when the lights
flooded in the crowded theatre
and the other kids started to file
into the narrow aisle, into a lobby
of faded purple splendor, into the last
Saturday in August before she moved away.
I never wanted to move again, but suddenly
we were being lifted toward the sidewalk
in a crush of bodies, blinking, shy,
unprepared for the ringing familiar voices
and the harsh glare of sunlight, the brightness
of an afternoon that left us gripping
each other‟s hands, trembling and changed.
Kids are confused! They do not understand the gravity of their physical interactions with one
another until it is too late (recall the Sarah vignette shown in class). How can we help them
before things get out of control?
*Keep in mind that it is equally important to teach God‟s grace, His love, and His
forgiveness (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 2 Corinthians 5:16-21; 1 John 2:8-9)!
How will you approach the topic of sexuality in your classroom with developing kids, struggling
with what society tells them?
A very Lutheran suggestion (the way that I learned it) (Genesis 2:20-25)…
Love Commitment Marriage Sex
Reflect on each of these words from an adolescent‟s understanding.
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Write a poem about Love (any type of love/relationship/context)…
“Love” by ___________________
Draw a picture about Commitment (any context—i.e. team work, chores)…
“Commitment” by ___________________
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Create a collage about Marriage (wedding plans—i.e. colors, flowers, guests)…
“Marriage” by ___________________
Search God‟s Word about Sex (find Bible verses pertaining to God‟s intention for sex)…
“Sex” by ___________________
Consider having your students work through the same interactive activity. Have them reflect on
what love, commitment, marriage, and sex really are. Talk with them about what Scripture
teaches as true.
―…Questions about sex do belong in the church, and kids should be able to get honest and
helpful answers to them. The Bible has much to say about sexuality and contrary to popular
opinion, it is not all negative. God created our bodies and our sexuality, and he wants us to
enjoy it. Like everything God made, sex has it s proper place and purpose, but we certainly
don‘t have to be ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it openly within the four walls of the
church‖ (Rice 78).
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Practice what we preach: Role-play with a partner, using the above suggestion as a starting
point, a middle school teacher and student discussion.
Scenario (Girls): Sheila, an eighth grade girl, is struggling with her sexuality. Her new
relationship with the basketball star is moving a lot quicker than she anticipated. Things are
getting physically intimate. She is stuck: she knows that where things are headed is probably
not the best route, but she does not want to run the risk of losing her boyfriend (who would
have another girl the minute he ended things with her). Sheila does not know what to do and
is coming to you for practical moral advice.
Scenario (Boys): Bob, an eighth grade boy, is struggling with his sexuality. He is in a
new relationship with a great girl, but things seem to be moving a tad quicker than he had
been anticipating. Things are getting physically intimate. He is stuck: his body is telling him
to keep going with the way things are going (it feels right, so it must be right), but he is
hearing a little angel on his other shoulder telling him to assess the situation and probably
take a different route (but what is that route?!). Bob does not know what to do and is coming
to you for moral and practical advice.
―…[Teach] the value of fidelity along with responsibility, respect, and honesty‖ (Sonnenberg
143).
For additional explanation, support, and suggestions, read “Intimate Conversations” by DeCarlo
included in the spiritual pack.
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Becoming an Adult, Developmental Area #3: Personality
 Identity.
 Self-concept, self-image.
 Developing fidelity (faithfulness/trust).

Possible problems:
o Role diffusion.
o Foreclosure.
Write an acrostic poem (with your name) to define your personality/identity as an adolescent.
It is interesting to look back and think about what we let define us when we were adolescents.
Was it sports, friends, faith, physiques, family, roles, interests, or grades?
Complete the following personality test and analysis as you would have when you were an
adolescent (taken from http://www.personalitytest.net/funtest/hrdept.htm). Analyze; reflect.
Personality?!
1. When do you feel your best?
a. In the morning
b. During the afternoon and early evening
c. Late at night
2. You usually walk
a. Fairly fast, with long steps
b. Fairly fast, with short, quick steps
c. Less fast, head up, looking the world in
the face
d. Less fast, head down
e. Very slowly
3. When talking to people you
a. Stand with your arms folded
b. Have your hands clasped
c. Have one or both your hands on your hips
d. Touch or push the person to whom you
are talking
e. Play with your ear, touch your chin, or
smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with
a. Your knees bent with your legs neatly
side by side
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b. Your legs crossed
c. Your legs stretched out or straight
d. One leg curled under you
8. Which color do you like most?
a. Red or orange
b. Black
c. Yellow or light blue
d. Green
e. Dark blue or purple
f. White
g. Brown or gray
5. When something really amuses you, you
react with
a. A big, appreciative laugh
b. A laugh, but not a loud one
c. A quiet chuckle
d. A sheepish smile
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last
few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a. Stretched out on your back
b. Stretched out face down on your stomach
c. On your side, slightly curled
d. With your head on one arm
e. With your head under the covers
6. When you go to a party or social
gathering you
a. Make a loud entrance so everyone notices
you
b. Make a quiet entrance, looking around for
someone you know
c. Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay
unnoticed
10. You often dream that you are
a. Falling
b. Fighting or struggling
c. Searching for something or somebody
d. Flying or floating
e. You usually have dreamless sleep
f. Your dreams are always pleasant
7. You're working very hard, concentrating
hard, and you're interrupted. Do you…
a. Welcome the break
b. Feel extremely irritated
c. Vary between these two extremes
Add up your points using the table below:
A
B
C
D
E
1
2
4
6
2
6
4
7
2
1
3
4
2
5
7
6
4
4
6
2
1
5
6
4
3
5
6
6
4
2
7
6
2
4
8
6
7
5
4
3
9
7
6
4
2
1
10
4
2
3
5
6
F
G
2
1
1
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Analysis:
Over 60 points: Others see you as someone they should “handle with care” You're seen as vain,
self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be
more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 to 60 points: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a
natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as
bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and
enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 to 50 points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always
interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced
not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone
who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as
clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but
someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in
return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends,
but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
21 to 30 points: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious,
extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did
something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything
carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused
partly by your careful nature.
Under 21 points: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking
after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get
involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that
don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you
aren't.
How did your initial personal definition match up (or not match up) with the results of the
personality test? Do you agree with your results?
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Now that you (supposedly) have your clearly defined adolescent personality, let us take a walk
down memory lane and look at where you stood in comparison with your peers on the identity
spectrum…
With your eighth grade class in mind, fill out the following reflective chart.
Name of
Classmate
Ex: Julie
Identity Status
Foreclosure
Cause
Authoritarian
parents
Spiritual
Development
Shallow
(concrete)
Present-day
Position
Dependent
student
Nothing screams “Adolescence!” like personality and identity formation.
―Two core ingredients in Erikson‘s theory of identity development are personality and
role experimentation. As we have seen, Erikson stressed that adolescents face an
overwhelming number of choices, and at some point during their youth enter a period of
psychological moratorium. During this moratorium and before they reach a stable sense
of self, they try out different roles and personalities. They might be argumentative one
moment, cooperative the next. They might dress neatly one day and sloppily the next day.
One week they might like a particular friend, the next week they might despise the friend.
This personality experimentation is a deliberate effort on the part of the adolescents to
find their place in the world‖ (Santrock 144).
If you had to fill out the above chart with a row titled “your name,” what would you put? What
would your classmates have put for you?
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Isn‟t it interesting to look through the completed exercises of this personality portion and note
that everything through which we have worked/reflected on was defined by how others described
our personalities?
Well, wait just a second there, Sarah! There were portions that I filled out about how I saw
myself when I was an adolescent!
But I would ask you to take another look. In those portions in which “you” defined your
personality, off of what did you base your responses?
For example: In the acrostic poem, what sorts of words did you use?
Sister
A+ student
Random
Alta
Helper
My relation to my sibling defined my first letter, my eagerness to please my
parents by academic success defined my second, my behavior type to entertain
my friends defined my third, my physique in relation to my peers defined my
fourth, and my genuine desire to serve others defined my fifth.
But try coming up with words that truly define yourself apart from your relation to others…it is
hard! No matter what words we manage to muster, few of them can stand solo.
―It‘s worth noting that more important for a human being than the need to survive is the
need to discover significance. We‘re the only creature we know of that will voluntarily
take our own life if we doubt its significance. It‘s also important to note that prayer will
not affirm people spiritually until they believe three things about God: that God listens to
them, that He considers their thoughts and ideas, and that He sees their life as
significant. We all need to know that we have something to offer in the eyes of God‖
(Glenn 51).
Does this work of adolescents trying to find out who they are in relation to others and what they
can offer in the eyes of God remind you of anything? Let me give you a little hint…
MORATORIUMACHIEVEMENT
As a closing reflection, read (and sing along to!) the following song lyrics of a popular singer
found on adolescents‟ radios.
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―A Place in This World‖ by Taylor Swift
I don‘t know what I want, So don‘t ask me, cause I‘m still trying to figure it out.
Don't know what's down this road,
I‘m just walking.
Trying to see through the rain coming down.
Even though I‘m not the only one,
that feels the way I do.
I‘m alone, on my own, and that's all I know.
I'll be strong, I‘ll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, I‘m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.
Got the radio on, my old blue jeans,
And I‘m wearing my heart on my sleeve. Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine.
Can you tell me what more do I need?
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah,
but that's okay.
I‘m alone, on my own, and that's all I know.
I'll be strong, I‘ll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, I‘m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.
Maybe I‘m just a girl on a mission,
but I‘m ready to fly.
I‘m alone, on my own, and that's all I know.
Oh, I‘ll be strong, I‘ll be wrong.
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, I‘m alone, on my own,
and that's all I know.
Oh, I‘m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.
Oh, I‘m just a girl. Oh, I‘m just a girl.
Oh, oh. Oh, I‘m just a girl.
As teachers of adolescents we have the awesome opportunity to help guide and direct students in
the direction that they need to be heading (Psalm 25:5). Am I suggesting foreclosure? No. I am
merely suggesting encouraging and helping students to recognize the gifts and abilities that the
Lord has granted them to do the work He has set out before them (Ephesians 4:1-16). Teachers
have the power of influence; use it! You will have students that are classified under the
confusion status (they do not know who they are, so remind them whose they are; they do not
know their purpose, so remind them of His purpose), help them clarify and understand the
meaning of their lives in the context of God‟s love (Romans 15:6).
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Becoming an Adult, Developmental Area #4: Social



Separating from family.
Group dependence to individuation.
Dependence to independence.

Possible problems:
o Over-dependence.
o Group tyranny (group ruling/conformity).
o Isolation.
When examining the influence of social development on spiritual development, we will break
down the material into 3 contexts: family, external, and personal. Let‟s begin with a puzzle…
FAMILY
D
M
P
N
T
N
E
M
P
O
L
E
V
E
D
Y
B
I
M
P
J
F
A
V
H
B
I
G
Y
A
E
C
O
N
O
M
I
C
L
G
Z
Z
V
V
D
U
S
A
B
C
F
P
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*EXTRA CREDIT: Jot down a brief definition or
classification for each word (use your note pack as a
reference).
A
X
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ADJUSTABLE
ADOLESCENT
AFFECTIVE
AGING
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AUTHORITATIVE
CHILD
CLOSED
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COMPLETED
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DEVELOPMENT
DYAD
DYSFUNCTIONAL
ECONOMIC
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FUNCTIONS
INTERACTION
LAUNCHING
LOCKED
MEDICAL
NEGLECTFUL
OPEN
PARALLEL
PARENT
PERMISSIVE
POST
RANDOM
RECREATIONAL
RELIGIOUS
REORIENTATION
REPRODUCTIVE
SIBLING
SIMPLE
SOCIALIZATION
Psychology 421 20
Spiritual Development
What did family mean to you as an adolescent?
How would you have described your family as an adolescent?
―To understand what is actually happening with junior highers in the social dimension of
life, we must begin with a stock theme of adolescent psychology. Simply stated, it is a
primary task of early adolescence to break ties with the family and to establish an
identity that is separate from parents or other authority figures. This is the adolescent
quest for autonomy or independence. Little children tend to be carbon copies of Mom
and Dad. They follow their parents around, do what their parents tell them to do, believe
what their parents believe. But when children reach adolescence, they want to be their
own person, separate from their parents. They want to make their own choices and
commitments, to be set free. They want to be treated like adults, or at least to not be
treated like children. This is when kids become highly critical of their parents and
consider them and everything they do and think to be hopelessly old-fashioned. They
may be embarrassed by their parents and prefer not to be seen with them in the shopping
mall or sit with them in church because they don‘t want anyone to mistake them for
children. While there are certainly exceptions, this behavior is normal and to be
expected with early adolescents‖ (Rice 86).
Embarrassing as it may be now that you are looking back, answer truthfully: Was that you? Did
you make your mom drop you off around the block so you did not have to be seen with her? Did
you go back into your room to change before going out when your parent matched your outfit?
Did you sit with your friends in the back of church to avoid association with your parents?
It is awkward looking back now, but we all did it. We all remember the days when mom and dad
were just “soooo totally embarrassing!” and there was nothing—nothing at all—that we could do
about it. Everyone knew that we belonged to them and there was no hiding it. We all knew
better (from our twelve years of living experience) and wished that our parents would have just
listened to our rational reasoning; but they never did.
How did your family influence your belief system as an adolescent?
Did you ever think about/actually go away from the faith during adolescence? Why?
Psychology 421 21
Spiritual Development
*Activity break: Take a look at your genogram created in class. Add in a faith element
across the generations (religions, connectedness with the church, witness type). Notice
any patterns (Deuteronomy 4:9)? Hmm…Maybe you were not the only one who went
through all of this…
Call the folks!
Who would know better about how you were as an adolescent than your parents? Take some
time to talk with your mom or dad (or both!) to talk about your faith as an adolescent. Use the
following questions as prompts, but do not be afraid to get sidetracked!
1. How would you have described me socially?
2. How would you have described my relations within the context of our family?
3. How did you see that affect my spiritual development?
a. What was my attitude toward faith/religion/church?
4. How has that changed/developed as I have gotten older?
5. Additional thoughts/comments?
6. Reflect on your parents‟ responses…
Read (and sing along to!) the following song lyrics of a popular singer found on adolescents‟
radios…
Psychology 421 22
Spiritual Development
―Never Grow Up‖ by Taylor Swift
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older, too
And don't lose the way that you dance around
In your PJs getting ready for school
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
Psychology 421 23
Spiritual Development
I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even through to you want to
Please try to never grow up
Don't you ever grow up
(Never grow up)
Just never grow up
Do you ever feel that way? When (when you have to do your own laundry/cooking/pay own
bills, when you just need mommy‟s hug before bedtime, or when you are just so overwhelmed
by the real world and want to be a kid again)?
―‗Young people may pull away from their parents‘ influence during their teenage years, but
as a general rule, as adults, they return to the tracks that were laid by their parents‘‖ (Rice
174).
―For the most part, emerging adults‘ relationships with their parents improve when they
leave home. They often grow closer psychologically to their parents and share more with
them than they did before they left home‖ (Santrock 287).
What does family mean to you now as an adult?
Psychology 421 24
Spiritual Development
How would you describe your family now as an adult? (Focus on the spiritual influence and
impact it has had on you).
EXTERNAL
In regards to the external aspect of social development, we will focus on four contexts
(school, church, friends, and media) and their influences on spiritual development.
As an introduction, read the following letter to God by a teenager found in the Nov/Dec 1996
edition of the magazine Group.
―Dear God,
It‘s been a long time since I‘ve really spoken to you. I go to church every Sunday,
but it doesn‘t seem like I‘m completely there. There are always things to think about.
Sports and school always seem to take priority.
When I was little, I used to wonder if you were really up there. Somebody once
told me that if I believed, I‘d be safe either way. I don‘t believe that‘s fair—not to you
and not to me. Now I know that you really are there. All these wonderful things that
you‘ve given me prove that. Thank you for my life, Lord.
Somehow, I understand everything, but yet I don‘t. Why is there so much
suffering? Why does everyone have to die? What about all those hopeless babies? It‘s
not their fault. It‘s not fair.
Why does everything always seem to go wrong for me? I try hard to be nice and
to love like you taught, but it always backfires. It hurts to be insulted. Why can‘t anyone
try to be sensitive anymore? I want to hurt them back so very badly but I know it‘s
wrong. I‘m not perfect, but it seems like the good people always get hurt the worst.
Please help me to forgive those who hurt me and to control myself when I feel anger.
It‘s not easy living in the world today. There are so many outside influences.
Television dictates our lives. Help my parents to realize that I know right from wrong
and I can judge situations for the better. Maybe someday everyone can learn to live the
right way. I‘d love to see the world be perfect, but I know that it‘ll never happen. We
have to experience the challenges of life so we can serve you better. I cannot do this
alone, Lord. None of us can. We need your help. Guide me when I‘m in trouble and
protect my family from harm. Shield my friends from the hatred of the world. Thank you
for all you‘ve given me. My life is precious to me, and I value it and your graces dearly.
Help me to live my life well.
Love,
Kim Arnold (You Eternal Servant)‖ (Benson 26).
Psychology 421 25
Spiritual Development
School
When you read the opening letter, did you notice that the teenager said that school takes a
priority over God on her list of things to think about? Why do you think that is?
Were you that way as an adolescent? Are you that way now? Why? (Be honest with yourself,
no one is judging).
As future teachers, we need to recognize this as an issue, identify the reason, and come up with a
solution. Fill out the flow chart below to initiate thoughts.
Possible Issue
Lack of time.
Reason
Too much homework.
Solution
Never assign homework.
Just kidding! Help students
create/organize a system/plan
for completing their work in a
timely manner.
Psychology 421 26
Spiritual Development
As teachers, it is our privilege and responsibility to always be looking for ways to help our
students draw nearer to God. After all, ―…Christians are made, not born‖ (Willimon 916).
It is great to fill out flow charts on paper and create clichés left and right about what we could do
or should do, but that is not enough. To show our students that we truly care about them and
their spiritual wellbeing, we must take it beyond pencil and paper and practice what we preach in
real life. To show our students that we care, we need to show ―…enthusiasm, ability to plan,
poise, adaptability, warmth, flexibility, and awareness of individual differences‖ (Santrock 361)
(John 21:16; 1 Timothy 6:20). We need to invest our whole being in what we are doing in order
to do it right (1 Peter 5:20).
Read the following portions of Sara Davis Powell‟s article “Relationships Matter:
Transformation Through Wayside Teaching” for helpful suggestions of how we can
show our students that we care about them and their development as people (socially
and spiritually).
1. Practice Little Gestures That Matter
Stand outside your doorway between classes.
2. Reveal Your Personal Self
Show young adolescents that even people in positions of authority and
responsibility have dilemmas and problems.
3. Create and Maintain an Inviting Classroom
Stock up on supplies.
4. Promote a Culture of Acceptance and Compassion
Create a bond.
5. Help Students Find Their Voices
Give students opportunities to talk.
6. Learn to Listen
Open your ears.
7. Speak Carefully
Be positive.
8. Help Students Become Autonomous, Not Anonymous
Find the anonymous kids.
Come up with at least one suggestion to correspond with each of her eight proposals.
1. Practice Little Gestures That Matter:
2. Reveal Your Personal Self:
3. Create and Maintain an Inviting Classroom:
4. Promote a Culture of Acceptance and Compassion:
Psychology 421 27
Spiritual Development
5. Help Students Find Their Voices:
6. Learn to Listen:
7. Speak Carefully:
8. Help Students Become Autonomous, Not Anonymous:
Schools are not just a place where kids come to function like calculators, write essays, study
history, or even memorize Bible verses; schools are the part of the church where the students
come to grow in their faith by exploring God‟s creation through gaining knowledge about His
marvelous work in which we live (2 Timothy 3:14-17). The school is the place where the head
knowledge of the world is learned to develop the heart knowledge of the Maker. This is vital to
the continuation and development of our faith. ―A Christianity without Christian formation is no
match for the powerful social forces at work within our society‖ (Willimon 915).
Go online and look up your grade school‟s mission statement (and church mission
statement if available). Break it down into phrases and write beside each part what that
phrase means to you and whether or not you think it was accomplished in your school‟s
ministry.
or
Go online and look up your grade school‟s mission statement (and church mission
statement if available). Write it down. Create a mission statement for an imaginary
Lutheran school.
Complete mission statement:
Phrases and reflections:
Created mission statement:
Psychology 421 28
Spiritual Development
Church
When you read the opening letter, did you notice that the teenager said she goes to church every
Sunday, but it does not seem like she is completely there? Why do you think that is?
Were you that way as an adolescent? Are you that way now? Why? (Be honest with yourself,
no one is judging).
One vital part of a church‟s ministry can be youth groups (check out http://www.lcms.org/page.
aspx?pid=1120), so let us take a closer look at them (1 Timothy 4:12). What I would like to
focus on, since we all already know the positive impact and influence they can have, is the
danger that I notice every time I am in a youth group setting.
The danger: Relying solely on experiences/events to affirm the presence and
authenticity of the greatness of our God. Need an explanation/example? Review what
we just looked at in the letter from the teen to God:
―Now I know that you really are there. All these wonderful things that you‘ve
given me prove that. Thank you for my life, Lord‖ (Benson 26).
To put things into a personal context, complete the following chart as if you were your
adolescent self.
Cause (Event)
Effect (Belief)
(From above) Blessed life with wonderful
things.
(From above) God must be real and listening to
my prayers!
Attend the National Youth Gathering.
Wow! There are so many believers…I must be
in the right religion!
Attend the Dare to Share Conference.
I want to tell the whole world about Jesus!
Right NOW!
Vacation to the mountains.
Wow! My God made all of this?! He must be
so majestic!
Psychology 421 29
Spiritual Development
Why is this a danger? Well, consider what happens when something goes bad (when life throws
a curve ball)…
To put things into a personal context, complete the following chart as if you were your
adolescent self.
Cause (Event)
Dad leaves and parents get divorced.
NYG trip cancelled due to dwindling numbers
(St. John youth group).
Interaction with nonbeliever.
Oil spill destroys natural beauty.
Effect (Belief)
Well, if my earthly father doesn‟t love me
enough to stay with me, then the same must be
true of my Heavenly Father.
Man! So many people area leaving the faith;
this must be for a reason…maybe I should start
spiritual shopping.
Danielle is a great friend, a great person all
around, but she doesn‟t believe in Jesus; maybe
I have been fooled all along into believing
Christians are right.
God doesn‟t care about His creation anymore
(was it really His to begin with?).
We cannot change the events (causes) and subsequent beliefs (effects) that happen in
adolescents‟ lives; however, what we can do is provide them with support through the good and
the bad (Acts 15:32). After all, God can (and does!) use the events in our lives (good and bad!)
to draw us nearer to Him (Hebrews 10:22).
―‗Events unfold in ways that make us think of God. They achieve in their happening a
symmetry and order that would be frightening if assigned to chance‖‘ (Labash 22).
We need to help them see and understand that we cannot be solely dependent on good things that
happen in our lives in order to know that God is real and that He is with us. He is always with
us, through the good and through the bad (Psalm 41:12). They need to understand that, because
we are fallen creatures, sinful in every aspect of our lives, evil happens (Genesis 3:1-24).
God does not make those bad things happen in our lives, but He permits them to happen;
it is called free will (Psalm 143:10)!
That does not mean that He leaves us when those bad things are happening; in fact, that is when
we can feel and know His presence all the more (Hebrews 13:5)! He is our comfort and refuge
in our time of need (Jeremiah 31:13; 2 Corinthians 1:4, 7:6).
Psychology 421 30
Spiritual Development
Friends
When you read the opening letter, did you notice that the teenager expressed her pain as a result
of trying to live and love the way that Jesus did? What do you think that she meant by that?
(Note her frustration, anger, and thirst for revenge in the fourth paragraph).
Check out the cartoon from www.CartoonStock.com.
Did you ever have imaginary friends? Why? Describe them.
Why do humans feel the need to have friends, especially adolescents?
―Friends are an important part of growing up. They not only provide young people
with a sense of who they are, but also provide them with the confidence and security
that they need to eventually become independent, self-reliant adults‖ (Rice 88).
Psychology 421 31
Spiritual Development
Fill out the “B-F-F” bubble letters with characteristics that you look for in friends.
Take a look at how Santrock (321) describes the importance of friendships (for further
explanation of each category, reference chapter nine). By each category write the name of the
friend that would have popped into your mind as an adolescent when considering the friendship
function (i.e. companionship—Katy).
1. Companionship.
_________________________
2. Stimulation.
_________________________
3. Physical support.
_________________________
4. Ego support.
_________________________
5. Social comparison.
_________________________
6. Intimacy/affection.
_________________________
How does the friendship aspect of social development affect spiritual development? The effects
are seen on many levels. Complete the following chart by brainstorming some negative and
positive effects of friendships on spiritual development.
Psychology 421 32
Spiritual Development
Negative Effects
Positive Effects
Kid struggles making friends and fitting
infeeling of aloneness and abandonment by
everyone (God included since Jesus is
friend); self-worth is diminished (John
15:14).
―Being denied membership to the
‗cool‘ clique hurts. ‗Every day
someone is in tears over something-the notes, the taunting, who sits next
to whom‘‖ (Johnson 89).
Friends create close bonds that create a sense
of belonging (Proverbs 17:17)kid
understands that God has a place for him/her
in this world.
―Friendship provides adolescents
with a warm, close trusting
relationship with another individual‖
(Santrock 321).
Kid is most concerned about the opinion of
and acceptance by peersquick to give in to
popular opinion and fall away from standing
up for faith (Proverbs 27:6).
―But junior highers, young Christians
that they are, are rarely able to put
much of their faith into practice right
away, especially if it means putting
their friendships in jeopardy. They
are not ready to sacrifice their friends
for their faith‖ (Rice 97).
Friend does not know the saving love and
grace of Godkid has the opportunity to
share faith and witness.
(Matthew 28:19-20)
Kid lets peer determine his/her actions to
comply with group norms to fit in, without
ever crossing group linesfollowing human
instead of God and excluding others.
―‗Someone became the leader and
you followed. You couldn‘t cross the
line to be friends with someone win
another group‘‖ (Johnson 89).
Friend is a good Christian role modelkid
imitates actions and influences peers to do the
same.
(Matthew 5:14)
Psychology 421 33
Spiritual Development
These sorts of things (qualities, characteristics, functions, etc.) are important to know as teachers
because we will be overseeing their formation and continuation. We have the responsibility of
encouraging, fostering, and ending friendships when applicable.
For further reading about friendships (development and changes in middle schools), read Berndt,
Hawkins, and Hoyle‟s “Changes in Friendship during a School Year.”
Media
When you read the opening letter, did you notice that the teenager said, ―It‘s not easy living in
the world today. There are so many outside influences. Television dictates our lives. Help my
parents to realize that I know right from wrong and I can judge situations for the better‖
(Benson 26)? What do you think she meant by the last sentence?
Can you relate to her opinion on the influence of media on society and the subsequent impact on
the family? How?
Fill in your favorites from when you were an adolescent. Compare with what kids are
interacting with today (from a survey I took of middle school students at the local youth center).

Music
o
o
o

Music
o Dixie Chicks
o Selena Gomez
o Bruno Mars

Television
o
o
o

Television
o Criminal Minds
o Extreme Couponing
o Avatar

Literature
o
o
o

Literature
o Zack‟s Lie
o Arthur
o Roland Smith

Movies
o
o
o

Movies
o The Client
o Avatar
o Paranormal Activity (1, 2, 3)

Video Games
o
o
o

Video Games
o Mario Cart
o Madden
o Grand Theft (1, 2, 3, 4)
Psychology 421 34
Spiritual Development
With those examples in mind of what is being fed into adolescent‟s systems, read the Benje
Achtenberg Macalester College study of student perceptions of body image and magazine
advertisements (“Mass Media and Its Influence on the Adolescent Mind”). Focus your reading
attention on Parts I and II, skimming the introductions.
Answer the questions included in the survey as if you were still your adolescent self.
To which of the developmental areas that we have already covered does this relate? In what
ways? (Be sure to focus on the influence on spiritual development). *Hint: All of them!
**Need somewhere to start? Reflect on your own experiences as an adolescent.
Area #1 Physical
Area #2 Sexual
Area #3 Personality
Area #4 Social
Psychology 421 35
Spiritual Development
PERSONAL
Our goal as leaders of adolescents is to get them to a point of being independent (not
dependent because then they will never be able to successfully be interdependent). This is a
process, it does not happen overnight; it takes time and development. Ding, ding, ding! There is
our key word—development! Then the question is this: How does the process of developing
independence impact/influence/intersect the process of developing spiritually? Let us take a
look.
First, take a glance at my personal stance on the importance of developing independence in the
context of community (excerpt from my first decision theme).
[As teachers, we need to help our students] develop independence in the context of
community. We must help them understand what it means to have a functioning community (i.e.
society as a whole, their home congregation, or the local neighborhood), and then what it means
to be a functioning individual (i.e. contributor, provider, or volunteer)—what it means to be a
part (individual) of the whole (community). These students have a lot to offer, and it is our job
as their teachers, to help them discover their capabilities in autonomy in order that they might
best serve themselves and the communities in which they live, all of the while developing into
capable young adults.
This goal of developing independence in the context of community is a very Biblically
based objective. The best context (and the one on which I will focus my ministry) to describe
this is to focus on the community of the church and the independent student members of that
church.
There is a time and a place for independence in the church life—that daily time of quiet
prayer (Matthew 6:5-13; 1 Thessalonians 5:17), meditation (Joshua 1:8; Pslam 48:9, 77:12,
119:97, 119:148), and dwelling (Colossians 3:16, Ephesians 2:22) in God‟s Word. This
independent development (particularly spiritual development) is crucial to the development of
the community as a whole, as affirmed in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Through their
independence in the church life, they are able to grow, develop, and mature in their faith in order
that they might be a strengthening, dominant part in that “cord of three strands [that] is not
quickly broken” (the congregation). God uses His people to strengthen His people—we (as a
church body) hold one another accountable in the faith (the independent spiritual journey). That
is independence in the context of the community at its finest. As teachers, we must facilitate our
students‟ individual studies and reflections on the Word of God to encourage the independence,
as well as promote the worship and fellowship with the church body to encourage the
community.
I go on to incorporate Glenn‟s significant seven idea into my own and develop the following
proposal:
Students must know that they are a significant part of the three stranded cord. Each
individual brings something (God-given) to the family of believers that is incomparable and
invaluable. They must know that they:
Psychology 421 36
Spiritual Development
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Are capable by God.
Are significant in His family.
Have the power to influence the created world.
Have the self-control in personal devotion with God.
Can have meaningful dialogue about their faith.
Are responsible for the sharing of the saving Message.
Have the judgment to know right from wrong.
They must know these things to see how their independence is important in the context of the
community!
Are you convinced? Do you agree? What parts do you agree or disagree with (be specific) and
why?
Complete the review puzzle below based on Sarah‟s Significant Seven (do not look above!).
Across
1. What do we have the power to influence?
3. Where are we significant?
5. By whom are we made capable?
6. Our judgment helps us know what
is________?
Down
2. In what do we have self-control?
3. About what can we have meaning
dialogue?
4. What are we responsible for sharing?
Psychology 421 37
Spiritual Development
Becoming an Adult, Developmental Area #5: Cognitive





Abstract thinking.
Symbolism.
Reflective thinking.
Real to possible.
Creativity.

Possible problems:
o Self or other-imposed rigidity.
o Dualism.
o Low expectations, stimulation.
Cognitive development of adolescents may arguably be the single most influential area on
spiritual development. Let us take a look at why.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11)
Read the handout on “Cognitive Development” from Lucile Packard Children‟s Hospital at
Stanford included in the kit.
Thinking back to your adolescent years, can you think of a distinct time when you realized you
were switching over from concrete to abstract thinking? Probably not, so think about the gradual
process. As the hospital‟s excerpt pointed out, early adolescents focus on using more complex
thinking for personal decisions. Complete the following chart how your early adolescent self
would have completed it (do not forget to include your rationales!).
Best sports to play:
Best groups:
Desirable
appearances:
Parent rule changes:
Volleyball: b/c u‟re
totally popular if u
play vball.
Athletes: b/c then u r
like skinny and pretty.
Flat ironed hair: b/c
Rory Gilmore has
straight hair.
Neeeed a later
curfew: b/c then u
won‟t be lame (u‟ll
totally be mature).
Psychology 421 38
Spiritual Development
As the hospital‟s excerpt pointed out, middle adolescent thinking focuses on more philosophical
and futuristic concerns. Draw five pictures (or cartoons!) below (using the excerpt‟s suggestions
as starting points) to show what types of things you were concerned about as a middle
adolescent.
As the hospital‟s excerpt pointed out, late adolescent thinking focuses on less self-centered
concepts. Draw five pictures (or cartoons!) below (using the excerpt‟s suggestions as starting
points) to show what types of things you were concerned about as a late adolescent.
Psychology 421 39
Spiritual Development
So how does this period of change in thinking (from concrete to abstract) affect the spiritual
development of adolescents? I could tell you, but what would be the fun in that? Work through
the hospital‟s seven suggested pieces of advice for encouraging healthy cognitive development to
unveil the answer to the above question. Figure out how you think each action will encourage
healthy spiritual development in the process of developing healthy cognitive development.
Simultaneous development? No way! This reminds me of something…(media section
exercise of social development?).
**Extra credit: include Bible verses to affirm your viewpoints!

Include adolescents in discussions about a variety of topics, issues, and current events.

Encourage adolescents to share ideas and thoughts with you.

Encourage adolescents to think independently and develop their own ideas.

Assist adolescents in setting their own goals.

Stimulate adolescents to think about possibilities of the future.

Compliment and praise adolescents for well thought out decisions.

Assist adolescents in re-evaluating poorly made decisions for themselves.
*Want to see an actual example to which you will be able to relate and recall? Page through
Luther‟s Small Catechism and take a look at the types of questions that are asked and how they
are answered.
Psychology 421 40
Spiritual Development
Becoming an Adult, Developmental Area #6: Spiritual





Personal faith expression with identity.
Perceiving Jesus as friend.
Interpreting life through faith.
Moving to commitment.
Principled ethical reasoning.

Possible problems:
o Relativism.
o Institutional religion.
o Legalism.
Ahh, the final piece of the puzzle: spiritual development.
Tell me, do you own your faith? Is it yours?
When did you first become aware of your answer to that prying question?
I first knew that my faith was mine (it was not just something that I had because my
parents gave it to me, it was something that I had because I wanted it and needed it) when I was
in middle school. Before middle school, church, religion, faith, and God were all things that I
had, but I only had them on a concrete level; I had them because my family had them (the only
thing that we were good at sharing!).
I remember when I first started confirmation classes in seventh and eighth grade.
Seventh grade confirmation was the pits. It stunk because everything that I was being taught was
not adding up right in my mind. I struggled internally with the concepts being presented to me.
I was told that God loves the whole world and wants everyone to be in Heaven with Him
someday (John 3:16), but that not everyone will be there because some people just will not
believe and some people will just never hear His saving name.
I remember crying nearly every night to my mom for the people that would never know
about Jesus. Seem a bit drastic? Tell that to the girl who was going with her mom into Muslim
homes to retrieve young women from the torture they faced from their abusive and murderous
brothers and fathers (the mosque put a price tag on the head of the one sister who had become a
Christian…they got the money). I remember thinking, crying, praying, and crying some more
for those families. How could God allow such evil things to happen in the world? Why did not
the Holy Spirit just go into their hearts and tell them, “Hey dude! Cut it out; stop hurting my
followers and become one yourself!” (SaulPaul). I knew, from what we talked about in
confirmation class, that those people would forever rot in Hell; they would have no happy
ending. How was that fair?! What happened to forgiveness?
It was at about this time that one of my confirmation teachers played the following song
for us; read (and sing!) along to the words.
Psychology 421 41
Spiritual Development
―Jesus Freak‖ by dc talk
Separated, I cut myself clean
From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams
Been apprehended by a spiritual force
And a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced
I saw a man with tattoo on his big fat belly
It wiggled around like marmalade jelly
It took me a while to catch what it said
'Cause I had to match the rhythm of his belly with my head
Jesus saves
Is what it raved in a typical tattoo green
He stood on a box in the middle of the city, And claimed he had a dream
Chorus: What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth
Ain't no disguising the truth, No I ain't hiding the truth
Kamikaze my death is gain
I've been marked by my maker, a peculiar display
The high and lofty they see me as weak
'Cause I won't live and die for the power they seek
There was a man from the desert with naps in his head
The sand that he walked was also his bed
The words that he spoke made the people assume
There wasn't too much left in the upper room
With skins on his back and hair on his face
They thought he was strange by the locusts he ate
The Pharisees tripped when they heard him speak
Until the king took the head of this Jesus freak
Chorus (x2)
People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger
People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger
Chorus (x3)
Psychology 421 42
Spiritual Development
Following the playing of this song in class, we all were given the opportunity to
physically sign a personal contract (concrete) dedicating our lives to the work and ministry of the
Lord (abstract); we were to be Jesus Freaks for life. I knew, when I signed that paper, that I had
a purpose to my life; I was going to singlehandedly change the world. I realized that there was
more to life and more to my religious confession than my own faith and salvation; I had a
responsibility to my God to share His love with unbelievers. I would witness to those Muslims
until they were so sick of hearing me talk that they would accept Jesus just to shut me up. I was
going to make sure that everyone in the whole entire world was going to be with me in Heaven
someday. Little did I know that there were about 6.5 billion people in the world; but I saw the
need and wanted to do something about it (look back to the “Cognitive Development” excerpt
from Lucile Packard Children‟s Hospital at Stanford).
How long do you think my eighth grade plans to save the world lasted?
―Spiritual development does not progress at a steady direction toward a pinnacle of
maturity…A young person may experience an emotional rush during the days, weeks, or
even months following a new spiritual commitment, but eventually this energy dissipates
and questions arise that may cause doubt‖ (Parrott III 35).
Why do you suppose that I thought that I could change the salvation plan for all of mankind?
(Take into consideration what you were taught in your religion classes, how you were
encouraged by your parents, and your sense of indivisibility).
―Radical new ways of thinking about spiritual matters can launch an adolescent into an
unsettling spiritual phase‖ (Parrott III 36).
―Because adolescents are so strongly idealistic, they easily suffer disillusion and
disappointment in the church‖ (Parrott III 36).
―It is a part of the early adolescent paradox that even in the midst of
struggle, failure, and doubt, junior highers are extremely idealistic. They
have a strong desire to be committed to something and make their lives
count‖ (Rice 151).
―Adolescents…are highly capable of a horizontal dimension to
their Christianity that impels them to reach out and care for other
people‖ (Parrott III 39).
Psychology 421 43
Spiritual Development
What were the dangers in presenting the “Jesus Freak” song and contract to us?
Is it healthy (possible?) to force youth out of the concrete self-centered focus into the abstract
selfless ministry?
Do you think that you would use this approach? Why or why not?
On the flipside of things, what happens when the doubts come creeping (or flooding) out? What
were your doubts as an adolescent (be specific: What things that you were taught or things that
you read in the Bible made you skeptical?)?
Cause (Input)
Told everyone will not end up in Heaven
(Romans 6:23; John 14:6).
How did these doubts help or harm your faith?
Effect (Doubt)
So God doesn‟t really love everybody?
Psychology 421 44
Spiritual Development
―[Doubt] is natural. It is endemic to spiritual growth. Some theologians see doubting as
a dynamic ancillary to belief and not necessarily in opposition to it. A strong faith is not
the result of avoiding questions, but of working with doubt. If there are no mountains
without valleys, can the[ere] be faith without doubt or answers without questions?
(Parrott III 35).
Doubt is clearly natural and necessary for growth; we cannot become stagnant in our faith (2
Peter 1:3-11) (Fowler‟s “Stages of Faith”). Doubt is going to happen, and it is going to happen a
lot when working with adolescents.
So how can we work with doubt? We need to make sure that our students know that it is okay to
doubt, it is okay to question; that is all part of the process (Doubting Thomas; John the Baptist).
Even more important, we need to make sure that our students know that even when they doubt
God at times, He will never doubt them. His love is eternal and faithful (Romans 8:37-39).
With that being said, it is also important that, as their Christian teachers, we help strengthen their
faith in any way that we can (1 Corinthians 14:26).
The obvious way to do this is to feed them the religious curriculum. Even though, at the
time, they may not understand why they have to learn it and then they quickly forget it,
remind them that it is like a meal: they may not remember the next day what they had to
eat, but they still needed it to keep them going. Religious instruction is the foundation for
faith.
Practice what we preach: Complete the following list of ways to help keep faith alive and
active (strengthen the believers) in the classroom for adolescents (use online resources,
past personal experiences, ask your youth director, create your own, etc.).
1. Teaching the power of prayer (1 Chronicles 5:20) and clouds of witnesses
(Hebrews 12:1)Start a prayer partner program within church community.
2. Teaching ownership of faith (Galatians 5:22)Allow students to choose their
own confirmation verses and then create banners with their verses to be hung
around the church as decoration.
3. Teaching the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20)Have students write a
personal testimony of faith to share in church on Sunday or with the youth
group (a Christian Witness paper).
4. Teaching about angels (Luke 1:26)Have students stand in doorways with
wrists pressed firmly against the doorframes for a brief moment and then step
forward (their arms will elevate).
5.
6.
7.
8.
Psychology 421 45
Spiritual Development
As a concluding reflective exercise, you are to create a six bubbled Venn diagram (one bubble
per developmental area). Have the five bubbles coming off of the spiritual development bubble
provided. Show how the different areas overlap, interact, and influence one another.
Spiritual Development
Create a statement that incorporates what you have worked through in this kit to confess what
you believe your mission is as a future Christian educator.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Psychology 421 46
Spiritual Development
Works Cited:
 Benson, Dennis. “How Confirmation” Group Nov./Dec. 1996: 26. Print.
 Berndt, Thomas J., Jacquelyn A. Hawkins, and Sally G. Hoyle. “Changes In Friendship
During A School Year: Effects On Children's And Adolescents' Impressions Of
Friendship And Sharing With Friends.” Child Development 57.5 (1986): 1284.
Web. 17 Nov. 2011.
 Collins, C., D. Fee, and U. Chappiti. “Abstract: „New Image‟: Evaluation Of The
Effectiveness Of The 1996 „New Image‟ Programmes.” Journal Of Human
Nutrition & Dietetics 12. (1999): 99. Web. 28 Nov. 2011.
 DeCarlo, Liz. “Intimate Conversations.” U.S. Catholic Oct. 2005: 12-17. Print.
 “Developing Capable Young People.” Interview by Youth Worker. Family Ministry: H.
Stephen Glenn: 50-55. Print.
 “Fowler.” Mesa Community College. Mesa's Community College Psychology
Department. Web. 29 Nov. 2011. <http://www.mesacc.edu/dept/d46/psy/dev/
Spring01/Spirituality/fowlerframe.html>.
 Heimermann, Mark, and Mckeehan Toby. “JESUS FREAK Lyrics - DC TALK.” Song
Lyrics. Elyrics.net. Web. 29 Nov. 2011. <http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/dc-talklyrics/jesus-freak-lyrics.html>.
 Hendricks, Howard G. Teaching to Change Lives. Portland, Or.: Multnomah, 1987. Print.
 “Human Resource Department.” Personality Test Center. The IPIP-NEO, 2011. Web. 14
Nov. 2011. <http://www.personalitytest.net/funtest/hrdept.htm>.
 Johnson, Beth. “The Trouble With Cliques.” Good Housekeeping 233.2 (2001): 89.
Web. 17 Nov. 2011.
 Labash, Matt. “„Do You Believe in God?‟ „Yes.‟” The Weekly Standard 10 May 1999:
20-25. Print.
 Lounsbury, John H. “Understanding and Appreciating the Wonder Years.” Month of the
Young Adolescent Oct. 2011: 1-4. Print.
 Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford. “Cognitive Development.” Packard
Children's Hospital at Stanford LPCH: Northern California Children's Hospital.
Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford, 2011. Web. 28 Nov. 2011.
<http://www.lpch.org/DiseaseHealthInfo/HealthLibrary/adolescent/cogdev.html>.
 Moulds‟ class notes.
 Parrott III, Les. “Adolescent Spirituality What Can We Expect?” Youth Worker Dik
LaPine (1995): 33-40. Print.
 Paschen, Elise, and Dominique Raccah. Poetry Speaks Who I Am. Naperville, IL:
Jabberwocky, 2010. Print.
 Powell, Sara Davis. “Relationships Matter: Transformation Through Wayside Teaching.”
Middle Ground: The Magazine of Middle Level Education Oct. 2011: 10-12.
Print.
 ([email protected]), Premshree Pillai. “Imaginary Friendships Cartoons and
Comics.” CartoonStock - Cartoon Pictures, Political Cartoons, Animations.
Www.CartoonStock.com. Web. 17 Nov. 2011.<http://www.cartoonstock.com/
directory/i/imaginary_friendships.asp>.
 Rice, Wayne. Junior High Ministry: a Guide to Early Adolescence for Youth Workers.
Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Pub. House, 1997. Print.
Psychology 421 47
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





Santrock, John W. Adolescence. 13th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2010. Print.
Seward Youth Center Youth. “Media Survey.” Personal interview. 19 Oct. 2011.
SouthernPride025. “Taylor Swift, A Place in This World Lyrics.” Country Lyrics, Tabs,
Chords @ Cowboy Lyrics, Music. Cowboy Lyrics, 2011. Web. 15 Nov. 2011.
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html>.
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Teens!, Teens For. “Lutheran Youth Fellowship - The Lutheran Church—Missouri
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The Complete Guide to Baby and Child Care: Talking about Sex and Puberty. Tyndale
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196: 914. Print.