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NO. 18 2011
Family
Relationships
Quarterly
THE NEWSLETTER OF THE AUSTRALIAN FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS CLEARINGHOUSE
In this issue
Elly Robinson, AFRC Manager | March 2011
Welcome to this edition of Family Relationships Quarterly, the newsletter of the
Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse.
With an increased emphasis on child-inclusive and child-focused practice in recent
years, communicating with and engaging children of different ages and stages of
development is a key skill in many family services. The first article in this edition
provides some strategies for communicating with young people, including dealing
with issues such as competence, coercion and confidentiality.
Two other feature articles focus on research projects that have examined different
aspects of family relationships. Gery Karantzas and colleagues examined gender
differences in romantic relationships and found that the use of couples, rather
than individuals from different relationships, showed that there are few major
gender differences—challenging the findings from past research on individuals.
Briony Horsfall and Deborah Dempsey examined child care by grandparents via
qualitative interviews.
Our program spotlight for this issue focuses on the Supporting Children after
Separation program (WA). Other articles include a trends article on divorce and
wellbeing in later life, a book review for “Call me Dad!”, and literature highlights
focusing on culturally and linguistically diverse families.
We hope you enjoy this edition of Family Relationships Quarterly. Feedback, as
always, is welcome at [email protected]
The Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse (AFRC)
is an information and advisory unit funded by the Australian
Government Department of Families, Housing, Community
Services and Indigenous Affairs. The Clearinghouse aims
to enhance family relationships across the lifespan by
offering a resource and a point of contact for providers
of family relationship and support services, policy makers
and members of the research and broader communities.
The Clearinghouse collects, synthesises and disseminates
information on family relationships and facilitates
networking and information exchange.
publications
The Clearinghouse publishes quality resources for providers
of family relationship and support services, policy makers,
and members of the research and broader communities. All
Clearinghouse publications are electronic.
Family Relationships Quarterly
Contents
Communication with young people
in a family services setting
3
Investigating gender differences in romantic
relationships6
Grandmothers and grandfathers looking after
grandchildren: Recent Australian research
10
Supporting children after separation
13
Divorce and wellbeing in later life
16
Call me Dad!
19
What about me? Self care for workers in the
family law context
20
Literature highlights
21
Articles include reviews of policy developments, program
spotlights, summaries of research, practitioner and research
updates, and literature highlights.
AFRC Briefing
Concise papers that cover literature reviews and synthesis
or translation of key messages. AFRC Briefing is published
three times annually.
AFRC Issues
AFRC Issues are in-depth papers that focus on policy and
research topics relevant to family relationships.
All publications are available for free
download from the AFRC website at:
www.aifs.gov.au/afrc/pubs/pubs.html
Editor: Elly Robinson, Manager, Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse
Compiled by: Elly Robinson and Catherine Caruana (Senior Research Officer),
Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse
Edited and typeset by Lauren Di Salvia
© Commonwealth of Australia 2011
This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright
Act 1968, no part may be reproduced by any process without prior written
permission from the Commonwealth. Requests and inquiries concerning
reproduction and rights should be addressed to the Commonwealth Copyright
Administration, Attorney-General’s Department, Robert Garran Offices, National
Circuit, Barton ACT 2600 or posted at <www.ag.gov.au/cca>
The Australian Institute of Family Studies is committed to the creation and
dissemination of research-based information on family functioning and
wellbeing. Views expressed in its publications are those of individual authors
and may not reflect those of the Australian Institute of Family Studies or the
Australian Government.
Australian Institute of Family Studies
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ISSN 1833-9077 (Online)
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| 2
FEATURE
Communication with young people
in a family services setting
Elly Robinson & Robyn Miller
There has been an increased emphasis on child-inclusive and child-focused practice in family relationship
service delivery in recent years. Yet there has been little discussion about how engaging with children may
differ according to the age and developmental stage
of the child (See Box 1). Engaging young people successfully in a family counselling setting, for example,
will often require a skilled use of communication that
incorporates an understanding of the intricate nature
of adolescent development and how this relates to the
issues for the family. This article looks at some of the
issues related to communicating with young people,
and practice tips which may help to make the conversation run more smoothly. The article is adapted
from sections of the Department of Human Services
Specialist Practice Guide—Adolescents and Their
Families—available at <www.cyf.vic.gov.au/__data/
assets/pdf_file/0007/497959/adolescent-their-families-specialist-practice-resource-2010.pdf>
Practitioners in family support services may need to
engage with young people as part of a family counselling or support session, or as part of negotiating
a parenting plan in the case of family breakdown.
Adolescence is a time in which relationships with
family change, as the adolescent becomes more
autonomous and forms more intense friendships
and partnerships outside of the home (Christie &
Viner, 2005; Daniel, Wassell, & Gilligan, 1999). Yet
family relationships remain critically important, and
trauma or conflict within the family is likely to have
an impact on young people that may not always be
communicated in a straightforward way.
It is useful to understand the types of behaviours or
actions that adolescents may engage in—and why
they may engage in them—and offer open lines of
communication to the young person. This may not
only help the young person express their emotions, needs and desires, but can also help to model
good communication skills to parents. We often ask
questions in a way that can silence young people.
We can also become so focused on getting a literal
response that we miss the things that they are telling
us through their behaviour or actions. The following
tips may help workers to engage in more respectful
and supportive conversations with young people that
will better allow them to express themselves.
Engagement—How will I start?

Let the young person be the expert of his or
her own world—it may help to consider initially
working from a “one-down” position, that is, the
worker as student. Remain open and curious.

Be creative. You can engage in conversation with
a young person when sitting in a park or a cafe,
shooting hoops, walking, patting a dog, driving
in a car or hiding under a table. Movement, a
change of scenery, companionship, and activities
or behaviours that involve limited eye contact can
help to encourage communication.

Be clear about your role and the reasons you are
talking to them, but also talk about normal “safe”
things, such as clothes, sport, music. Enjoy getting
to know the young person.
Box 1. Phases of growth in adolescence
A common way to differentiate the phases of growth in
adolescence is by labelling these phases as early, middle
and late adolescence. Less commonly, a pre-adolescence
and youth/young adulthood phase are also identified at
either end of the adolescent “spectrum” (Breinbauer &
Maddaleno, 2005). Each of these phases is differentiated by
the degree to which physical, sexual, emotional and social
development has occurred. At each phase, interactions at
school and home, as well as biological, socioeconomic,
cultural and environmental factors, will influence development. For example, in Western society, puberty is often seen
as the beginning of adolescence at around 11 to 12 years
of age (biological marker) (Christie & Viner, 2005). A recent
study shows that around half of Australian Year 12 students
have experienced sexual intercourse (Smith, Agius, Mitchell,
Barrett, & Pitts, 2009), indicating that sexual development
accelerates in middle adolescence.
The “completion” of adolescence is less clearly marked, but
may be characterised by things such as being able to drive
or vote (cultural markers), or leaving the family home (social
and environmental markers). More subtly, things such as
cognitive and moral development are less “visible” markers
of growth, and are more likely to test practitioners’ abilities
to judge competency to engage in aspects of service provision, such as decision-making around involvement in counselling, post-separation parenting arrangements and making
positive social connections.
Family Relationships Quarterly No. 18 2011 | 3
Delivery—How should I ask questions?

Be authentic rather than “cool”.
Honesty and straightforwardness is appreciated
and appropriate. Ask the young person’s permission to be “upfront”; respond to the non-verbal
cues:
Suggest to the young person who doesn’t want to
talk that if they shrug their right shoulder, this means
“yes”; a left shrug means “no”.
Use arm gestures to suggest how big the sad, angry or
confused feelings might be.
“Is it okay to tell you what I’m thinking?”
Ask him or her to show you on the wall where the sad
feelings would come up to, or how much of the room
his or her anger would fill up.
“Tell me if I got it wrong.”
“Is this the wrong time to be having this
conversation?”

“The look on your face says that ten minutes of
this conversation is enough and then we’ll get a
milkshake—deal?”
Avoid using jargon.
Talk about the “talking about”. Help the young
person to have a sense of control about the timing
and pace of difficult conversation.
“If we were to talk about when your mum and dad
told you that they were separating, what would be
hard about talking about it? What would be good
about talking about it?”

“I reckon you might think that if we talked about the
fighting and yelling at home it would get even louder
inside your head … or that the nightmares would be
worse …”
Try not to ask direct questions—use observations
and give space for the young person to respond.
“Some kids hate talking about the bad or hard stuff
but then once they do, they find that they sleep
better.”
“Seems like there’s a lot of stuff bottled up inside you
that just boils over and you’re finding that pretty hard
to cope with”.
Technique—What else may help?

Let the young person know that you like him or
her. Find something to like!
Plasticine or play dough can be useful at times for
showing or modelling family events or as a soothing device to squeeze as they are talking about
difficult things.
Similarly, things such as chewing gum, taking a
break, eating chocolate, or getting a warm drink
can help the young person manage an intense
session.
Talk out loud about what you imagine they would
say to you if they could.
4 | Australian Institute of Family Studies
Use existing props in the room, or non-verbal
cues to answer questions.
Encourage the use of drawing, poetry, story writing or
movement to enable the young person to externalise
what has happened—for example, ask what his or her
sadness would look like in a drawing.
Competence, coercion and confidentiality
The gradual transition of power for making decisions that affect their lives is an important part of
adolescent development that prepares young people
for independence. Parents and carers have a role in
supporting young people to make this shift to independence, and professionals can support this. As
young people develop autonomy and self-mastery,
their views on decisions that affect them will need to
be given more weight. However, this developmental shift is gradual, which means that issues such as
competence, coercion and confidentiality need to
be regularly considered in service delivery (Larcher,
2005). These issues become even more pertinent
when a practitioner is required to work one-on-one
with a young person.
Competence: Is the young person developmentally
ready, willing and able to contribute to his/her own
engagement with the service?
Competency includes an ability to understand:

simple terms;

the nature, purpose and necessity of proposed
action and any alternatives that may be available;

the likely benefits and risks of the proposed
action, and possible effects of non-action; and

how the information applies to the person (Viner,
2005).
Recent research on brain development in adolescence provides additional insight into what a young
person may be competent to make decisions about
and what may still be difficult for their age and stage
of development (see Box 2). Competence may also
be situation specific. For example, a young woman
may perform well in her job but regresses in situations that require her to deal with conflict. In this
sense, a young person may have the competence to
make some basic decisions alone but may need support and help from parents or carers to make others.
limits clearly explained. Clarity regarding confidentiality policies and practices, including across services,
needs to be established. A young person’s involvement with a range of services is not in itself a justification for information sharing between practitioners.
Coercion: Is the young person making decisions of his
or her own free will and upon consideration of all the
information presented to them?
Young people are in a unique period of development
that encompasses their increasing individuation from
parents and desire to make their own personal decisions. This may be reflected in family counselling or
similar sessions, and effective communication with the
young person can help them to engage in the process
of change. Respecting the young person’s feelings,
needs and desires in a way that is appropriate to their
developmental stage will help to build good working therapeutic relationships with young people, and
additionally may serve to model effective communication skills to parents. Considerations of competency,
the subtle effects of coercion and confidentiality will
also help in times where a young person wishes to
engage in one-to-one communication in a counselling
or similar setting.
If you are providing the opportunity for young people to be involved in decision-making, it is important that they have time to consider information
and feel that they are making an informed choice,
free from external pressure (Viner, 2005). Failure to
provide adequate time or facilities to receive and
reflect on information may be a subtle form of coercion. Practitioners also need to consider whether the
information has been understood, and the impact of
cultural norms, such as traditional or cultural relationships between young people and authority figures (e.g., Aboriginal elders).
Confidentiality and information sharing: What happens
to the information provided by the young person?
Confidentiality is rated very highly, considered very
important by adolescents and is crucial to practice
(Viner, 2005). Young people have a right to confidentiality and where it is limited, to have those
Box 2. Brain development
Recent research indicates that there is a development and strengthening of the areas of the brain that involve self-regulation (of behaviours
and emotions) during adolescence and early adulthood (Steinberg,
2009). The parts of the brain influencing levels of mature judgement,
long-term planning, consideration of the consequences of (and alternatives to) behaviour and self-regulation are still developing into the
early twenties (Patton & Viner, 2007). Therefore, brain immaturity may
impact on a young person’s emotional and impulse control. An example of this is when a young person can sometimes later explain exactly
why something happened in the way it did, but couldn’t make the connection at the time of the event. Brain growth research gives us new
insight into a biological basis for adolescent behaviours, which may
help parents, carers and practitioners understand adolescent behaviour. It also provides some guidance regarding a young person’s capacity to make his or her own decisions (competency).
Conclusion
References
Breinbauer, C., & Maddaleno, M. (2005). Youth: Choices
and change. Promoting healthy behaviors in adolescents.
Washington, D.C.: Pan American Health Organization.
Christie, D., & Viner, R. (2005). Adolescent development.
In R. Viner (Ed.), ABC of adolescence. London: Blackwell
Publishing.
Daniel, B., Wassell, S., & Gilligan, R. (1999). Child development
for child care and protection workers. London: Jessica
Kingsley Publishers.
Larcher, V. (2005). Consent, competence and confidentiality.
In R.Viner (Ed.), ABC of adolescence. London: Blackwell
Publishing.Patton, G., & Viner, R. (2007). Pubertal transitions
in health. The Lancet, 369, 1130–1139.
Smith, A., Agius, P., Mitchell, A., Barrett, C., & Pitts, M. (2009).
Secondary students and sexual health 2008 (Monograph
Series No. 70). Melbourne: Australian Research Centre in Sex,
Health & Society, La Trobe University.
Steinberg, L. (2009). Should the science of adolescent brain
development inform public policy? American Psychologist,
64(8), 739–750.
Viner, R. (2005). ABC of adolescence. London: Blackwell
Publishing.
Elly Robinson is the Manager of Australian Family Relationships
Clearinghouse and the National Child Protection Clearinghouse.
Robyn Miller is the Principal Practitioner for the Children Youth
and Families Division of the Victorian Government, Department of
Human Services.
Investigating gender differences in romantic
relationships
Gery Karantzas, Celia Goncalves, Judith Feeney & Marita McCabe
There exists a plethora of research suggesting that men
and women perceive and act differently in romantic
relationships. However, this claim has been challenged
in recent years with studies of couples reporting a lack
of gender differences. In this paper, Karantzas and his
colleagues build on this emerging inconsistency in the
relationships research field by reporting on a recent
study of Australian married and cohabiting couples that
suggests that gender differences may in fact have been
overstated in relationship research.
Gender differences have been widely researched
and reported in relationship research. Much of this
research was inspired by the provocative work of
Jessie Bernard (1972) whose book, The Future of
Marriage, argued that men and women hold very
different enduring beliefs and expectations about
marriage. Bernard argued that the differences were
so stark between men and women that all marriages
consist of two relationships: “his” and “hers”. Since
Bernard’s publication, both scientific (e.g., Implett &
Peplau, 2006; Schmidt, 2002) and pop culture (e.g.,
Gray, 1992, 2008) writings have consistently highlighted the disparate ways that men and women
think and feel about relationships, and the way the
genders behave towards one another (e.g., Regan
& Berscheid, 1996; Rosen-Gradon, Myers, & Hattie,
2004; Winstead, Derlega, & Rose, 1997; Wood, 1996).
The aim of much of this research has been to understand the origins and manifestation of these gender
distinctions, to provide strategies for how couples
can work on appreciating partner differences, and in
doing so, learn how to make relationships “work”.
Nevertheless, contrasting research suggests that while
men and women may behave differently in relationships, their underlying needs, wants and perspectives
may not be so different; especially for those couples
in committed relationships (e.g., Hendrick, Hendrick,
& Adler, 1998; Karney & Bradbury, 1995). For
instance, in a longitudinal study of couples, Kurdek
(2005) found few marked differences over time in
men and women’s ratings of marital satisfaction,
social support and spousal interactions. Moreover,
the strength of the associations between these factors
was similar for men and women. Kurdek (2005) and
Parker (2007) both highlighted that the reason for
these disparate findings relates to the level of analysis at which the research was conducted. Specifically,
much relationship research has failed to analyse the
responses of couples (i.e., the couple as the unit of
analysis). Rather, the majority of studies have compared the responses of men and women from different relationships (i.e., the individual as the unit of
analysis).
Thus, it is unclear if these gender differences are due
to actual differences between men and women, or
the result of comparing men and women from different relationships. These arguments are echoed
by Kenny, Kashy, and Cook (2006) who suggested
that generalisations about differences between the
genders are often inappropriately made to couples
when the analysis has in fact been conducted on
individuals. It makes sense then that looking at differences between members of existing couples rather
than partners from different relationships would help
to develop a clearer understanding of the effects of
gender on relationships.
In the present study, gender differences within
enduring and committed romantic relationships were
examined by comparing men and women in relationships across a wide array of factors known to
directly or indirectly influence relationship satisfaction: attachment style, trust, provision of partner support (sometimes referred to as caregiving), the use
of destructive conflict-centred communication strategies (such as coercion and withdrawal), intimacy and
relationship satisfaction (for a comprehensive rationale for the investigation of these relationship factors
see Karantzas, Feeney, Goncalves, & McCabe, 2010).
Participants
Seventy-five couples (75 men and 75 women)
involved in a cohabiting or marital relationship were
recruited across metropolitan Melbourne through
the relationship education courses of Centacare and
Humaneed—two Australia-wide relationship education and counselling organisations. Participants in
these courses ranged in age from 19–73 years, and
over 95% of participants were Anglo-Australian.
Sixty-two percent were married, while the remainder of the couples were in cohabiting relationships.
Relationship length ranged from 10 months to 50
years and 6 months, with a mean of 15.04 years.
Procedure
Each member of the participating couples individually
completed a questionnaire providing information on:
demographics; attachment style; provision of partner
support; trust; destructive conflict-centred communication; intimacy; and relationship satisfaction. (Refer to
Box 1 for further details on the measures used.)
Findings
To examine whether men and women in couples differed in their perceptions of attachment style, provision of partner support, trust, the use of destructive
conflict-centred communication, intimacy and relationship satisfaction, we tested the differences
between the mean scores on these factors for men
compared to women. We also examined whether
men and women’s perceptions differed as a function
of relationship length and relationship status (i.e.,
cohabiting versus married). Importantly, when conducting these analyses we accounted for the relatedness of the data (i.e., that the men and women were
in relationships with each other).1 No significant differences between couple members were found.
Men and women reported low levels of attachment insecurity, with means for anxiety and avoidance falling below the mid-point of the scale range.
Similarly, both men and women reported low use of
destructive conflict-centred communication. In contrast, couples reported high levels of the provision
of partner support, trust and intimacy, and moderate
relationship satisfaction. When examining the effects
of relationship length and status on these variables,
we found three significant associations. Firstly, relationship length was positively associated with commitment for both men and women. Secondly,
relationship status was also positively correlated
with commitment for men and women, suggesting
that for both genders, commitment was higher for
married compared to cohabiting couples. We also
investigated for each couple if the difference in men
and women’s perceptions was a function of their
relationship status and length. For example, would
romantic partners that have been together for only
10 months, show bigger differences in relationship
perceptions and attitudes compared to couples that
1 We also corrected for the number of comparisons we were making
across our variables of interest.
have been together for 20 or more years? This correlation analysis revealed that differences between
partners’ perceptions were not associated with either
relationship length or status.
Implications
The lack of gender differences reported in this study
is in line with recent couple research (Burleson,
2003; Kurdek, 2005). These results are further supported by Karantzas et al. (2010) in which the
authors developed and tested a model of relationship functioning and examined the strength of the
relationships between the variables reported on in
this paper, analysing the data at the couple level. In
that study, no significant differences were found in
the strength of the relationships between the variables for either gender. In sum, this recent research
supports the claim that when investigating individuals involved in satisfying long-term relationships (i.e.,
not couples or dyads) gender differences may be
overstated. Using dyads in couple research fails to
support major gender differences.
Two possible reasons can be proposed for the lack
of gender differences. On the one hand, the couples
in our sample may have consisted of relationship
partners who were initially attracted to one another
because of the similarities they shared regarding
their relationship beliefs, attitudes, values and ways
of behaving. On the other hand, it may be that each
member of the couple held quite different relationship attitudes and beliefs during the early stages of
the relationship, but over time, the cognitions and
behaviours of the partners converged. Having said
this, our analyses of whether partner perceptions
differed as a function of relationship length and
status seem to provide support for the first of these
reasons. We found no evidence in the present sample that partners started out with different beliefs
and attitudes regarding their relationships. Rather,
couples seemed to share very similar views from
the beginning. Nor were the differences between
partners greater for cohabiting compared to married couples. We did however find that relationship
commitment increased for both men and women
as a function of relationship length and relationship
status. These findings support previous research
that has found both genders to feel more committed to their relationships with the passing of time,
and as couples’ transition from a status of dating and
cohabitation to marriage (e.g., Bouchard, Lachance,
& Goguen, 2008; Young & Acitelli, 1998).
However, two methodological issues may also contribute to the study findings. Firstly, we emphasise
that our data are cross-sectional and more longitudinal studies are required to determine whether
changes occur over the course of a relationship
that shape the extent to which partners’ beliefs, attitudes and behaviours converge. Secondly, study
participants were sampled from those attending a
relationship education course: these couples might
be systematically different from other couples.
Specifically, these couples may be more likely to
view their relationships in similar ways and therefore
demonstrate greater motivation to attend relationship
education and to complete the dyadic surveys.
Our findings have implications for relationship
educators and counsellors. Various relationship
education courses emphasise the notion that men
and women view relationships differently; that is,
there are “his” and “her” views of relationships. For
instance, much is made of the way that men and
women differ in terms of how they communicate in
relationships. While we do acknowledge that gender
differences have been found in relationship research
in the past, we ask that educators and therapists
rethink the extent to which differences between men
and women are as common as first thought.
These findings also highlight the importance of considering the like nature of men and women involved
in committed and enduring relationships. We therefore encourage relationship educators and counsellors
to consider emphasising these similarities to couples
as it may well be that a couple’s awareness of their
similarities acts as the glue that binds them together.
Furthermore, our findings suggest that any differences that may be identified between relationship partners should not be merely put down
to stereotyped differences between the genders.
Consequently, educators and therapists may need to
Box 1. Study methodology

Demographic information was recorded regarding participants’ age, gender, ethnic background, relationship
status and relationship length.
Attachment style was assessed using the Attachment
Style Questionnaire (ASQ; Feeney, Noller & Hanrahan,
1994; Karantzas, Feeney, & Wilkinson, in press). Items
from this measure can be used to generate scores on the
two primary dimensions of attachment - avoidance and
anxiety. All items are rated along a 6-point scale ranging from 1 (totally disagree) to 6 (totally agree). Higher
scores on each dimension indicate greater attachment
avoidance and anxiety respectively.
The provision of partner support was measured using
the Caregiving Questionnaire (CQ; Kunce & Shaver,
1994) The CQ consists of items relating to different
styles of caregiving in romantic dyads. Items are rated on
a 6-point scale ranging from 1 (strongly disagree) to 6
(strongly agree). A total caregiving index was calculated
with higher scores indicating the provision of sensitive,
responsive and non-compulsive partner support.
Trust was assessed using the Rempel and Holmes (1986)
Trust Scale. Items are rated along a 7-point scale ranging
from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree) with
higher scores indicating greater trust.

Destructive conflict-centered communication was measured using the Communication Patterns Questionnaire
(CPQ, Christensen, 1988). Items on the CPQ are rated
on a 9-point scale ranging from 1 (very unlikely) to 9
(very likely). The scale was computed such that higher
scores indicate more destructive conflict-centred
communication.
The Marital Intimacy Questionnaire (MIQ, Van den
Broucke, Vertommen, & Vandereycken, 1995) was used
to measure intimacy. The items are rated on a 10-point
scale, from 1 (strongly disagree) to 10 (strongly agree),
with higher scores indicating greater intimacy.
The Dyadic Adjustment Scale – Short Form (DAS-7,
Sharpley & Cross, 1982) was used to assess relationship satisfaction. The scale consists of two 3-item subscales (couple consensus and cohesion) rated on various
6-point scales, while the final item is a measure of general satisfaction rated on a 7-point scale. The items can
be summed to produce a total score, with higher scores
indicating greater relationship satisfaction.
think twice in proposing to couples that the source
of their relationship differences is primarily the result
of men and women thinking differently about relationships. Rather, points of difference for couples
may be due to other reasons, such as people’s differing personalities or cultural backgrounds. Thus,
we encourage the continued use of inventories such
as PREPARE–ENRICH (Olsen, 1996), by educators
and therapists. Since these inventories can help pinpoint issues where partners differ, they provide an
evidence-base from which professionals can provide
appropriate advice and interventions to assist couples in working though relationship differences that
may be causing problems for couples.
In closing, the existence of a “his” and “her” marriage depends on one’s perspective. As Implett and
Peplau (2006) put it:
In everyday life, men and women often engage in
quite different activities … At a more basic level, however, men and women are remarkably similar—both
fall in love, form enduring attachments, suffer the pain
of loneliness, and benefit from social support. (p. 287)
Could it be that men and women are not from different planets after all?
References
Bernard, J. (1972). The future of marriage. New York: Bantam
Books.
Bouchard, G., Lachance-Grzela, M., & Goguen, A. (2008).
Timing of the transition to motherhood and union quality:
The moderator role of union length. Personal Relationships,
15, 71–80.
Burleson, B. (2003). The experience and effects of emotional
support: What the study of cultural and gender differences
can tell us about close relationships, emotion, and
interpersonal communication. Personal Relationships, 10,
1–23.
Christensen, A. (1988). Dysfunctional interaction patterns in
couples. In P. Noller & M. A. Fitzpatrick (Eds.), Perspectives in
marital interaction (pp. 31–52). Philadelphia, PA: Multilingual
Matters.
Feeney, J. A., Noller, P., & Hanrahan, M. (1994). Assessing
adult attachment. In M. B. Sperling & W. H. Berman (Eds.),
Attachment in adults: Clinical and developmental perspectives
(pp. 128–152). New York: Guilford Press.
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Gray, J. (2008). Why Mars and Venus collide. New York:
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Vangelisti & D. Perlman (Eds.), The Cambridge handbook of
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Karantzas, G. C., Feeney, J. A., Goncalves, C., & McCabe,
M. P. (2010). Towards an integrative model of relationship
functioning. Manuscript submitted for publication.
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less mean more? A confirmatory factor analytic study of the
Attachment Style Questionnaire and the Attachment Style
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Relationships, 27, 749–780.
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of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, method,
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relationships: Attachment processes in adulthood (Vol. 5, pp.
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Family Relationships Quarterly No. 16
18 2010
2011 | 9
Grandmothers and grandfathers looking after
grandchildren: Recent Australian research
Briony Horsfall & Deborah Dempsey
The time grandparents share with grandchildren
takes many forms. Grandchildcare is defined as time
when grandparents are responsible for the care and
wellbeing of grandchildren, usually in the absence
of a parent. In some cases, a grandparent may be
undertaking the tasks of grandchildcare alongside
a parent. This is different to “seeing” grandchildren, which is characterised by social time without
caregiving responsibilities, often in the company of
parents.
This mixed-methodology research had two components. The first component involved a secondary analysis of data from the Household, Income
and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey (HILDA)
Release 7.1 A total of 3,277 grandparents were identified in the HILDA data set (1,343 grandfathers, 1,934
grandmothers). Part two of the research involved
qualitative in-depth semi-structured interviews (n
= 14) with six grandfathers and eight grandmothers who cared, to varying degrees, for at least one
grandchild.
grandmothers provided grandchildcare significantly
more frequently than grandfathers, with 47% of
grandmothers doing grandchildcare at least once per
week or more often, compared to 41% of grandfathers. As can be seen in Figure 1 below, grandmothers are more likely than grandfathers to perform
grandchildcare daily or several times a week, while
grandfathers were more likely than grandmothers to
be doing care a few times a year or less often. These
results show Australian grandmothers tend to see
grandchildren and to look after grandchildren more
often than grandfathers.
35
30
Grandmothers
Grandfathers
25
Percent
This article presents a snapshot of findings from a
research project about the experiences of Australian
grandparents who regularly care for grandchildren. The
authors wish to thank the grandparents who generously shared their stories for this research.
20
15
10
5
0
Daily
N = 1702
Differences between spending time
seeing and caring for grandchildren
The vast majority of grandparents regularly see their
grandchildren. Across the 3,277 grandparents who
responded to the HILDA survey, 73% reported seeing a grandchild once a month or more frequently.
Grandmothers were likely to see grandchildren significantly more often than grandfathers. Overall, 56%
of grandmothers had seen a grandchild at least once
a week compared to 49% of grandfathers.
Of the 1,702 grandparents who confirmed they
had ever looked after a grandchild, 44% were
doing grandchildcare once a week or more often.
When comparing grandmothers and grandfathers,
1 The HILDA project was initiated and is funded by the Australian
Government Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and
Indigenous Affairs (FaHCSIA ) and is managed by the Melbourne Institute
of Applied Economics and Social Research (MIAESR). The findings of this
research and the views reported, however, are those of the authors and
should not be attributed to either FaHCSIA or the MIAESR.
Several
times
a week
About
once
a week
Between
once a week
and once
a month
A few
times
a year
Frequency of care
Figure 1. Frequency of grandchildcare by sex of grandparent
Further differences between
grandmothers and grandfathers caring
for grandchildren
Retirement status had some impact on the frequency
of grandparents providing childcare. The most
significant difference was between partly retired
grandfathers and grandmothers. Of the grandmothers who considered themselves to be partly retired,
30% looked after a grandchild several times a week
or more frequently whereas only 9% of partly retired
grandfathers performed the same frequency of care.
This suggests that, compared with grandfathers, having a paid work commitment does not equate to
grandmothers doing less caregiving.
Relationship status was associated with grandfathers
doing grandchildcare but not so for grandmothers.
Being married/partnered, separated/divorced or widowed did not make a significant impact for grandmothers on the frequency of grandchildcare they
provided. For grandfathers though, the presence of
a wife facilitated their participation in care because
married grandfathers were more likely to report frequently performing grandchildcare than divorced/
separated or widowed grandfathers.
The extent to which grandmothers and grandfathers
felt satisfied with their free time offered insight into
the degree to which grandparents were able to enjoy
leisure time as well as perform care and other commitments in life. Although most grandfathers (76%)
and grandmothers (69%) who provided grandchildcare were generally satisfied with the amount of free
time they have, a significantly greater proportion
of grandmothers who did grandchildcare were partially satisfied or dissatisfied with their free time than
grandfathers. This was especially so for grandmothers
doing grandchildcare several times a week or more
frequently.
Grandmothers who nurture
Grandmothers and grandfathers alike used the word
“nurturing” to describe what it means to be a grandmother, whether that involves grandchildcare or not.
Consistent with earlier research (Wearing & Wearing,
1996; Millward, 1997), grandmothers described themselves as doing the practical work of care and being
primarily responsible for the grandchildren, even
when their husbands are involved in care. Fiona,
who has five grandchildren explained:
Look, he’s around, especially because he’s home now,
but in a sense I take responsibility for looking after
(grandchild). I say “come on Thursdays” and I take
the responsibility for it. So he’s here but I’m the basic
caregiver.
A prominent theme across the interviews with grandmothers was the juggle of managing time and contact
with grandchildren. Balancing the needs of grandchildren with domestic labour, paid work, caring for
elderly parents and their own personal time was a
challenge. For example, Carol, a grandmother to
eight children, spoke about time management as part
of her preparations for spending time with grandchildren and ensuring that their time together goes as
smoothly as possible:
It’s been a challenge from the point of view that it’s
not easy. I get the benefits I think by managing time.
I’m a time management freak I think, but I, we, get so
much more quality from the visit or outing if I know
that it has been time managed.
The demand for grandchildcare, particularly for
young children, was fuelled by a combination of
social expectations to be a caregiver, the busy schedules of adult children who struggled to find suitable childcare and difficulty saying no when asked
to provide care. All of the grandparents who were
interviewed talked about contemporary grandparents, especially grandmothers, being expected to do
grandchildcare and to be a strong source of support
for adult children. This was perceived to be occurring to an extent far greater than in the past and
could become quite burdensome. For instance, this
pressure was experienced by Denise, a grandmother
of three, who commented:
Sometimes it gets a bit over the top. Last week I did
five days with the grandchildren. I was tired by the end
of the week and I was ready for a day off.
According to Cheryl, the reluctance to refuse requests
to do grandchildcare can sometimes be motivated by
wanting “to be seen as always available and never
saying no” to adult children and grandchildren. The
perceived social expectation of doing grandchildcare
complements the idea that nurturing grandchildren
can be an extension of nurturing one’s own children,
thereby fulfilling maternal ideals about women.
Grandfathers getting involved
Contrasting earlier research by Cunningham-Burley
(1984) and Scraton and Holland (2006) that suggested grandfathers were distant figures in grandchildren’s lives, the grandfathers who participated in this
research spoke enthusiastically about engaging with
grandchildren. For example, Mark, a grandfather of
seven, showed the picture books he makes with his
grandchildren, he explained:
We’ve had a lot of stickers, all the favourite singers
(pointing to Hannah Montana). I bought a lot of those
and a couple of books and the grandchildren will
come in and say “I want to do stickers” and we’ll get
the box of stickers out, so I stick stickers with them.
This was Mark’s special activity that he enjoyed with
grandchildren while providing care along with his wife.
In contrast to grandmothers, the role of grandfathers
was, on the whole, not associated with the practical tasks inherent in caring for children. Instead,
most of the grandfathers talked about doing things,
like entertaining the grandchildren while their wife
made dinner, as a way to support the care that their
wife was performing. This reflected the greater likelihood of grandfathers participating in care more
frequently if married, as found in the HILDA data.
Peter, who has three grandchildren, described himself entertaining the grandchildren while his wife
performed domestic labour or prepared a meal for
the grandchildren:
She would often be cleaning up the house because my
daughter, and son in law for that matter, are bloody
hopeless with that. So she’ll be doing a lot of that
when I’ll be playing with the kids. She’ll be cooking or
getting something ready so she’ll be able to play with
the kids too.
Across all the interviews, being a male role model
and mentor to grandchildren strongly featured in the
way both men and women talked about grandfathering, compared to the theme of nurturing in relation
to grandmothering. As Robert, who has four grandchildren, explained:
Probably more so now than any other time in history,
I think it’s important that little boys in particular, but
I presume little girls as well, actually do have a male
role model. So often at school all the teachers are
female, they spend infinitely more time with their
mother than their father, and the role of the grandfather is there, I believe, largely to be a male role model.
Two grandfathers we spoke to provided grandchildcare on their own. Simon and John emphasised that
caregiving was a conscious decision they had made,
although each came to the decision from different
life histories. Simon had strong egalitarian beliefs
about gender roles and John had experienced being
a primary carer to his own children. Overall, grandfathers appeared to have greater flexibility in caregiving compared with grandmothers.
Conclusion
Australia has amongst the lowest public expenditure on early childhood services across OECD
(Organisation for Economic Cooperation and
Development) nations (OECD, 2008) and this
research has demonstrated that grandparents, especially a substantial proportion of grandmothers, are
filling the shortfalls of formal childcare. Although
there were a small number of interviews conducted
with grandparents, the personal experiences of these
grandparents shed some light on significant patterns emerging in the quantitative national survey
data. Overall, this study revealed gender inequalities
associated with doing grandchildcare which have
the potential to impact on the lives of older women,
particularly in relation to experiences of paid work,
leisure time and expectations to provide care.
For practitioners working with families over the life
course, it is important to recognise the potential costs
of caring for grandchildren by older women. Adult
children may need to be made aware of the significance of what they are asking of their parents, rather
than assuming that they will be there to do what is
expected. Grandparents, especially grandmothers,
who may be unlikely to say no to unpaid care, when
they can see the benefits to their adult children and
grandchildren, could be supported in boundary setting. Furthermore, grandfathers who are clearly capable carers could be making a greater contribution to
caregiving. As this research shows, grandparents continue to be a vital source of support for their adult
children and grandchildren in modern family life.
References
Cunningham-Burley, S. (1984). “We don’t talk about it
…”. Issues of gender and method in the portrayal of
grandfatherhood. Sociology, 18, 325–338.
Millward, C. (1997). Effects of gender and paid work on
grandparenting. Family Matters, 46, 18–21.
Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development.
(2008). PF10: Public Spending on Childcare and Early
Education, OECD Family database. Retrieved from <http://
www.oecd.org/dataoecd/45/27/37864512.pdf>
Scraton, S., & Holland, S. (2006). Grandfatherhood and leisure.
Leisure Studies, 25(2), 233–250.
Wearing, B., & Wearing, C. (1996). Women breaking out:
Changing discourses on grandmotherhood. Journal of Family
Studies, 2, 165–177.
Briony Horsfall is a Research Officer at the Australian Institute of
Family Studies and a PhD candidate in Sociology at Swinburne
University of Technology. Dr Deborah Dempsey is a Lecturer in
Sociology at Swinburne University of Technology. This research was
undertaken during Ms Horsfall’s honours thesis.
PROGRAM SPOTLIGHT
Supporting Children After Separation
(Anglicare WA)
Catherine Caruana
When separating parents seek the assistance of family support services, or interact with the family law
system, the children, until relatively recently, have
had little direct presence in the process. Childinclusive and child-focused practice, in both mediation services and the conduct of litigation, have
helped provide a voice for children in family law
disputes (McIntosh, 2007). In doing so, it became
increasingly apparent that the psychological and
emotional support needs of children whose parents
were separating, particularly in high-conflict families
and those affected by violence, were not being met.
In 2008, the Federal Attorney General’s Department
in conjunction with FaHCSIA announced funding for
the establishment of 14 dedicated support services
around Australia for the children of separating parents. Catherine Caruana interviewed Jennie Hannan,
Executive Manager of Services, Anglicare WA, and
Tunya Petridis, Children’s Consultant with Anglicare
WA’s Supporting Children After Separation (SCAS)
Program, to find out more about one of these relatively new services.1
Background
Supporting Children After Separation Programs
around the country aim to help children (aged from
birth to 18 years) through the experience of their
parent’s separation, and in particular to:
adjust to the changes that arise from separation;
indentify and express their feelings and thoughts
about the separation;
develop and enhance family relationships in what
can be a difficult time; and
gain life skills and social skills that will enable
them to build resilience to challenges in their lives
(Anglicare WA, 2010).
The Supporting Children After Separation Program
run by Anglicare WA evolved from another successful Anglicare WA initiative—the Parenting Orders
Program, Mums and Dads Forever. In 2007 Anglicare
WA conducted a children’s pilot (as part of Mums
and Dads Forever) which provided some counselling and group therapy specifically for children.
Anglicare then went on to successfully tender for
the Supporting Children After Separation Program
1 This spotlight profiles only one of the 14 Supporting Children After
Separation Programs around the country. The author is unable to
comment on how the Anglicare WA service differs from other services.
in metropolitan Perth. The program was rolled out
nationally in December 2008 and Anglicare WA
began accepting clients in February 2009.
The program
The Anglicare WA program provides services to children via four streams. These include:
Schools program—educative workshops delivered
in the school setting either as a one-off session,
or over a number of weeks. The workshops are
targeted at all children, and as such do not focus
on separation specifically, but on a range of issues
such as self-esteem, anger management, grief and
loss, dealing with conflict, coping with strong
emotions and managing stress and change. This
program has proved very popular, with bookings
some months in advance.
Group work with children—a psycho-educational
program with age-specific groups of 0–5 years,
6–9 years, 9–12 years and teens. Over the course
of six weekly sessions of 90 minutes, children are
encouraged to explore their feelings about their
parents’ separation, using a “sideways” therapeutic model, that is, by sharing their experiences
with children in similar circumstances. The aim
is to normalise experiences of family breakdown,
thereby minimising feelings of isolation. Taking a
strengths-based approach, the groups provide a
supportive environment for children to develop
emotional awareness about what is happening in
their families, and to develop coping strategies.
The groups run continuously throughout school
terms and in the school holidays.
In the 0–5 year old group, children attend with a
parent. Run by Ngala (a Perth-based early parenting service) and facilitated by a psychologist with
the assistance of childcare workers, this group
uses attachment theory to help enhance the parent–child relationship and parental self-esteem.
This is a particularly useful service for fathers who
are estranged from their children.

Counselling service—the client group for this
short- to medium-term, child-specific counselling
service, is drawn primarily from children whose
families are affected by a high level of conflict,
domestic violence and/or other complex issues.
This service also works as a referral gateway,
offering additional assistance to children attending

group sessions and referring to other specialist
services, where required.
Camp program—a camp program, which aims to
provide opportunities to develop physical skills
and enhance self-esteem, was in development at
the time of interview.
While interventions occur at the child, parent and
family system level, approximately 95% of client
work is done with children directly. Where appropriate, parents can be provided with feedback about
outcomes from the group and individual sessions.
However, like other Family Support Program providers, Supporting Children After Separation counsellors
working individually with children are subject to the
admissibility and confidentiality provisions under the
Family Law Act 1975 and the program isn’t court
reportable.
Anglicare WA is in the process of developing a childfriendly website. There are plans to increase capacity
to provide child-inclusive practice training for Family
Dispute Resolution Practitioners. The SCAS service
works very closely with the new Family Relationship
Centres. All services are provided free of charge.
Pathway through service
When a contact is made at the service, the case is
first allocated to one of the five offices covered by
the service. An intake appointment is first organised with a counsellor and the parent during which
screening for violence is undertaken, followed by
an appointment with the child for assessment.2
Referrals are made where appropriate, either in the
form of warm referrals (where the counsellor will
make contact with the service provider in the presence of the client) to other Anglicare WA programs
or other external providers. A decision is then made
whether the child would benefit from attending the
group sessions, or individual counselling. The majority of children first participate in the group program.
However some children attend counselling prior to
attending a group where it is felt it is needed. Where
a child is on a waiting list for a group session, counselling can help keep them engaged with the service.
2 When a child makes the first contact to the service (a situation which
has not as yet arisen), agency policies relating to obtaining informed
consent guide how the intake process proceeds.
An attempt is always made to work with both parents, except where it would be dangerous to do so.
However a child’s participation in the program is not
dependent on obtaining consent from both parents.
If one parent objects to the child using the service,
counsellors will work with that parent to reassure
them about the child’s involvement, but will generally proceed to see the child.
The majority of referrals come from Family
Relationship Centres, schools, and the Family Court
of Western Australia. When ordering parents to
attend the Mums and Dads Forever program, the current practice of the court is to also make an order
that the children attend the Supporting Children After
Separation Program.
Barriers
One of the challenges faced by Anglicare WA in running the SCAS Program is responding to the high
demand for services with limited resources. The
service is only funded to see children, therefore the
work done with parents, which Anglicare WA considers essential, is not included in their reportable
client statistics.
The needs of clients attending counselling have been
found to be much more complex than anticipated.
However the ready availability of other Anglicare
WA programs, to which clients can be referred, has
enhanced the service’s capacity to respond—illustrating the importance of embedding services such as
these within an agency that can provide other supporting services.
The difficulty in securing qualified and experienced staff, especially for a specialist service such
as Supporting Children After Separation, is a significant issue in Western Australia. Anglicare WA
provides staff with in-house training on a range
of subjects, including assessment and screening,
domestic violence, working with children, and child
developmental theory. Supervision and professional
development are prioritised. The service is well supported by good infrastructure provided by the parent
organisation.
Innovation
Anglicare WA view the Supporting Children After
Separation Program as an innovative addition to
Western Australia’s family support services. The
only other child-specific counselling service available in the region is that provided at the Child and
Adolescent Mental Health service—a specialist service for children with serious mental health issues,
run by the Department of Health. The fact that
SCAS can be responsive to local needs, can provide
prompt and appropriate referrals, and has a strong
presence in schools, and during the holidays via the
camp program, further extends its reach to children
requiring support during a difficult time.
Conclusion
The SCAS service provided by Anglicare WA works
to both fill a service gap for a particularly vulnerable
client group, and to contribute to the work of other
services in fostering a greater child focus in parents
who are separating. An evaluation of the service by
researchers at Edith Cowan University will contribute
to our knowledge about the efficacy of services such
as these in supporting children and young people
through the difficult family transition of parental
separation.
Contact
For further information please phone (08) 9263
2104, or visit the Anglicare WA website at: <www.
anglicarewa.org.au/separation-services/supportingchildren-after-separation-program.aspx>
References
Anglicare WA. (2010). Separation services: Supporting Children
After Separation Program. Retrieved from <http://www.
anglicarewa.org.au/separation-services/supporting-childrenafter-separation-program.aspx>.
McIntosh, J. (2007). Child inclusion as a principle and as
evidence-based practice: Applications to family law services
and related sectors (AFRC Issues, No. 1). Melbourne:
Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse, Australian
Institute of Family Studies.
Catherine Caruana is a Senior Research Officer with the Australian
Family Relationships Clearinghouse.
Contributing to Family Relationships Quarterly
Guidelines for contributors
The Family Relationships Quarterly newsletter aims to provide
a lively forum for ideas, argument and comment on family
relationships. Articles include reviews of policy developments,
program spotlights, summaries of research, and practitioner
updates. These range from short reviews of books, conferences, workshops and projects to more substantial articles on
significant issues relevant to family relationships.
Service providers, researchers and those interested in family
relationships in Australia are encouraged to contribute to the
newsletter. We welcome readers’ letters, comments and feedback on issues discussed in AFRC publications.
The average length of contributions is 1,000–1,500 words,
but may be as short as 300–500 words. If you would like to
submit a longer article, or if you are unsure about the appropriateness of a piece, contact the Manager of the Australian
Family Relationships Clearinghouse prior to submission.
Acceptance of all material is subject to a review process.
Articles may be accepted for publication, returned for revision
or rejected. Clearinghouse staff are committed to providing
feedback and working with authors to assist in the development of the article to meet the required standard for publication. Minor amendments may be made by editorial staff
following review to ensure consistency in content, presentation and readability.
Please email contributions in a Microsoft Word document to [email protected], or post to the Australian Family
Relationships Clearinghouse, Level 20, 485 La Trobe Street,
Melbourne, Victoria, 3000 (electronic provision of material is
preferred where possible). For further information contact Elly
Robinson, Manager of the Australian Family Relationships
Clearinghouse, phone (03) 9214 7888, fax (03) 9214 7839,
email: [email protected]
Copyright
The Commonwealth of Australia holds copyright to all material published in Clearinghouse newsletters.
TRENDS AND STATISTICS
Divorce and wellbeing in later life
Catherine Caruana
While there has been much research focus on the
short-term effects of marital breakdown, less is known
about the long-term impact of divorce on social, emotional and financial wellbeing. Are people who have
had an earlier experience of divorce more likely to
be unhappier, poorer, sicker and lonelier in later life?
A recent report published by the Australian Institute
of Family Studies (AIFS), provided a snapshot of the
social and emotional legacy of marital breakdown on
Australia’s ageing population.
Introduction
As the baby-boomer generation approaches retirement age, social researchers have the opportunity
to investigate the long-term effects of certain aspects
of social change occurring in Australia in the latter
half of the 21st century. The swell in the divorce rate
following the introduction of the no-fault system in
1975 has lead to a similar spike in the number of
older Australians who have experienced divorce in
their lifetime. The report Divorce and the Wellbeing
of Older Australians (Gray, de Vaus, Qu, & Stanton,
2010),1 released by AIFS, presented findings on
measures of wellbeing from a nationally representative sample of older Australians. This report complements earlier research by the same authors on the
financial impact of divorce, (de Vaus, Gray, Qu, &
Stanton, 2007). Together they demonstrate that the
negative effects of divorce2 persist into later life, particularly for divorcees of either gender that remain
single, and most pervasively for women.3
Methodology
The study involved analysis of data from reports by
survey participants from the Household, Income and
1<www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/rp46/rp46a.html>
2 Those in the age range who had never been married but had separated
from a de facto partner were not included in the analysis given the
difficulty of determining the degree of “seriousness” of the relationship
from the HILDA data.
3 This contradicts the findings from a number of earlier studies referred
to by the authors that suggest that divorce has more of a negative
effect on older men than older women, especially in relation to
maintaining ties with members of extended family (Cooney & Dunne,
2001; de Graaf & Fokkema, 2007; Pezzin & Schone, 1999; Rezac, 2002;
Solomou,Richards, Hupper, Brayne, & Morgan, 1998).
Labour Dynamics in Australia survey (HILDA)4 on
a number of largely subjective measures of wellbeing, including social interaction and connectedness,
perception of social support, physical and mental health, and life satisfaction. Comparisons were
drawn between those in the sample who were
divorced and single, divorced and remarried, and
those that were married and had never divorced.5
The sample
The sample used in the current report consisted of
participants in the HILDA survey aged 55–74 years
who were married or who had previously been married. Of these, around one-quarter had experienced
divorce (26.7% of males and 25.8% of females).
Within this sub-group men were more likely to have
remarried, with two-thirds having done so at the
time of the survey, compared to around half of the
women. In the sample, 62.5% of the men and 55.7%
of the women were married and had never divorced,
whereas 7.3% of men, and 4.6% of women had
never married.
Findings
Social support
Responses to questions relating to the number of
friends they have, being able to access help when
needed and having someone to confide in were analysed to provide measures of perceived social support. Both men and women who remained single
after their divorce had significantly lower levels of
perceived social support, while there was little difference overall between those that had divorced and
remarried and those that had remained married.
Life satisfaction
Analysis of ratings of levels of satisfaction regarding
certain aspects of life (such as health, financial situation, home, neighbourhood, feeling safe, feeling part
4 The HILDA project was initiated and is funded by the Australian
Government Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and
Indigenous Affairs (FaHCSIA ) and is managed by the Melbourne Institute
of Applied Economics and Social Research (MIAESR). The findings of this
research and the views reported, however, are those of the authors and
should not be attributed to either FaHCSIA or the MIAESR.
5 Further details regarding the methodology and limitations of the study
can be found at <www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/rp46/rp46d.html>
of their community, and the amount of free time they
enjoyed) uncovered lower satisfaction with life overall for both women and men who had divorced and
remained single. Single women in particular reported
lower satisfaction across all dimensions. Women who
had divorced but remarried scored less on life satisfaction ratings than women who had remained married
and men who had divorced and remarried.
Health
On a scale measuring three aspects of health—general
health, vitality and mental health—a history of divorce
appeared to have no effect on men’s health. Divorced
single women on the other hand, reported lower
levels of vitality and physical and mental health than
those who had remarried or who had never divorced.
There were no significant differences found between
the groups of older married women.
Social contact
Measures of social connection used in the survey
included: getting together with friends and relatives
living elsewhere at least once a week; being an
active member of a sporting, hobby or communitybased club or association; and spending time in voluntary or charity work. Divorced single men were
significantly more likely to report getting together
with friends and relatives at least once a week than
men who were divorced and remarried, or married
and never divorced. Given most of them lived alone,
it is not surprising this group would be more likely
to seek social contact outside the home. There were
little differences between the groups of men in relation to the time they spent involved in club activities.
However, for women, those who had been divorced
and had remarried were significantly less likely to
be an active member of a sporting, hobby or community-based club, or to spend time in voluntary or
charity work, than those who remained single and
those who remained married.
Financial impact
In any discussion about social and emotional wellbeing in later life, it is important to also consider financial status, as the two appear to be linked (Pinquart
& Sörenson, 2002; Arber, 2004). An earlier study
by the authors on the long-term financial impact of
divorce (de Vaus et al., 2007), which used HILDA
data from a slightly different sample at a different
point of time, paints a similar picture of disadvantage flowing from divorce. Using a range of living
standard measures such as income, superannuation,
housing, assets, receipt of income support, perceived
prosperity and financial hardship, the authors found
that the experience of divorce also has a negative financial impact in later life, and that similarly,
the financial deficits are substantially reduced by
re-partnering.
Divorcees who remained single were substantially
more likely to be in rental accommodation than
those that were married, had lower levels of per
capita household assets, were more likely to experience financial hardship, to receive income support and to report lower prosperity. On a number
of measures, those that had divorced but remarried
reported a financial status not dissimilar to the evermarried group.
A notable exception to this trend was that divorced
single women were more likely than both evermarried women and remarried women to have
superannuation (with the ever-married women the
least likely to), though there was little difference
across the three groups in relation to the amount
of superannuation when it existed. Similarly, marital history did not appear to affect median incomes
reported by women across the groups. However it is
interesting to note that older women who remained
single after divorce had a higher rate of outright
home ownership than their male counterparts (49.4%
compared with 40.9% of the male respondents).
Implications for practice and policy
The above-mentioned reports illustrate the importance of the role of marital history in emotional, social
and financial wellbeing in later life and in determining current social trends. This is supported by a
recent report on homelessness amongst older women
(McFerran, 2010) which suggested that separation and
divorce is one of the big drivers in the phenomenon
of increased rates of single-person households and the
decline in home ownership amongst older Australians.
It is well understood that an ageing population will
place greater demand on health and social services
(Attorney General’s Department, 2010). Coupled
with consistently high divorce rates, policy-makers
will increasingly be developing policy relevant to a
growing population of older Australians, and more
commonly older women, with particular vulnerability
to social isolation, physical and mental ill health and
financial insecurity.
Practitioners working with separating or separated
families, may need to give greater consideration
to the impact of separation and divorce on housing
security, both in the immediate and long-term future,
particularly for women.6 In their 2009 report, Beer
and Faulkner talked about the policy challenge “of
assisting people to retain owner occupation following
divorce, rather than increasing the rate of entry [into
the housing market]” (p. 101). This is a challenge that
could equally be seen as relevant to family relationship practitioners working with separating families.
engagement in sports, hobbies, club activities and
voluntary work. Working with clients to develop
strategies that build and maintain social support,
that help them identify their interests and access
local information on ways to meet those interests,
may help foster resilience in later life to the longterm negative effects of relationship breakdown,
and to promote greater wellbeing among an ageing
population.
References
Arber, S. (2004). Gender, marital status and ageing: Linking
material, health and social resources. Journal of Aging Studies,
18, 91–108.
Attorney-General’s Department. (2010). Australia to 2050:
Future challenges. Canberra: Author.
Beer, A. & Faulkner, D. (2009). 21st century housing careers and
Australia’s housing future. (AHURI Final Report, no. 128).
Melbourne: Australian Housing and Urban Research Institute:.
Cooney, T., & Dunne, K. (2001). Intimate relationships in later
life: Current realities, future prospects. Journal of Family
Issues, 22(7), 838–858.
de Graaf, P., & Fokkema, T. (2007). Contacts between divorced
and non-divorced parents and their adult children in
the Netherlands: An investment perspective. European
Sociological Review, 23(2), 263–277.
de Vaus, D., Gray, M., Qu, L., & Stanton, D. (2007). The
consequences of divorce for financial living standards in later
life. Australian Institute of Family Studies: Melbourne.
Gray, M., de Vaus, D., Qu, L., & Stanton, D. (2010). Divorce
and the wellbeing of older Australians. Australian Institute of
Family Studies: Melbourne.
McFerran, L. (2010). It could be you: Female, single, older and
homeless. Woolloomooloo, NSW: Homelessness NSW
Pezzin, L., & Schone, B. (1999). Parental marital disruption and
intergenerational transfers: An analysis of lone elderly parents
and their children. Demography, 36, 287–297.
Pinquart, M., & Sörenson, S. (2002). Influences of socioeconomic
status, social network and competence on subjective
wellbeing in later life. A meta-analysis. Psychology and Aging,
15(2), 187–224.
Rezac, S. (2002). Intergenerational assistance in Australian
families: The role of parental family structure. Journal of
Family Studies, 8, 24–37.
On a more general note, these findings suggest that
service providers need to actively monitor the mental health of their older clients, an increasing number of which have the added responsibility of caring
for their grandchildren (see Horsfall & Dempsey
article in this edition). They should remain alert to
the level of social support and social contacts available to older and single clients, and to their level of
Robinson, E., & Adams, R. (2008). Housing stress and the mental
health and wellbeing of families (AFRC Briefing No.12).
Melbourne: Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse.
Retrieved from: <http://www.aifs.gov.au/afrc/pubs/briefing/
briefing12.html>
6 For a discussion of the impact of housing insecurity on wellbeing, see
Robinson & Adams (2008).
Catherine Caruana is a Senior Research Officer with the Australian
Family Relationships Clearinghouse.
Solomou, W., Richards, M., Huppert, F., Brayne, C., & Morgan,
K. (1998). Divorce, current marital status and wellbeing in an
elderly population. International Journal of Law, Policy and
the Family, 12, 323–344.
Call me Dad!
BOOK REVIEW
Lancaster, S., Mooij, E., & Korn, S. (2009). Call me Dad! A manual for new
fathers: From pre-birth to 12 months. Auckland, N.Z.: New Holland.
Reviewed by Mark Sipthorp
The transition from couple to family can
be a difficult one. While there are many
sources of information for new parents, particularly mothers, there are few resources
aimed directly at smoothing the way for
new dads. The following review, written
by someone who has recently embraced
fatherhood, assesses a recently published
book for new fathers and finds it to be accessible,
informative, and practical. Practitioners working with
couples who are, or soon will be, new parents may
find this book a useful resource for new dads and
dads-to-be.
A lot of books have been written about pregnancy
and giving birth and, to their credit, some of them
even look at it from a father’s point of view. But what
happens next? In my search for information I found
little that was written specifically for new dads about
what to do and expect in the 12 months after the birth
of my child. Call me Dad! is an excellent book. As
well as practical advice on such things as the pregnancy experience (changes in your partner, antenatal
classes, medical appointments and birth plans), the
logistics of preparing for the arrival (deciding what
to buy, where the baby will sleep, and who’s going
to look after the baby) and the birth experience,
the book offers guidance for life after birth. Tips on
ways to survive the first few mad days and weeks as
a novice parent, on how to be a good support for
your partner and on establishing routines for feeding,
sleeping and hygiene can support dads in the sleepdeprived haze of new parenthood. The idea of preparing and freezing some meals before baby arrives
would have been really useful to know before our
lives were turned on their heads!
Before the birth, there are a lot of emotional things
happening—as a soon-to-be dad you need to prepare yourself for this. Your pregnant partner may
have mood swings and the book advises not to take
it personally. After the birth, you need to understand
that you are not the most important person in the
house and that your role is to provide as much support and help as you can. Emotionally and physically things will be happening to you as well—you
will get tired, feel overwhelmed at times and may
feel you need time for yourself. As new fathers you
should never feel too embarrassed to ask for help.
This book also has really helpful “Dad tips” throughout, including advice ranging from the need to keep
your finger nails trimmed so you don’t hurt the baby,
to the usefulness of starting a baby journal (how
long the baby sleeps and when, what time the baby
was fed or had their nappy changed).
There is such a steep learning curve to face once
you find out that your partner is pregnant. My wife
and I brought a little girl into this world a year ago.
Reading this book felt like I was reading about my
own experience of being a new dad. It’s probably
true that most first time fathers-to-be don’t know
much about what lies ahead, except that soon there
will be a little person around. The book works on a
number of different levels. It gives a comprehensive
look at what you are likely to experience, provides
information on things you should know about, and
is a good reference guide at moments of uncertainty.
It is also fun and easy to read.
My wife goes to a mothers group meeting every
week. For her it’s a great help because she can
check out any concerns about our child’s progress with other mothers of children the same age.
Getting their advice and hearing about their experiences makes her feel at ease. Things are different for
dads. Many fathers work, especially when the child
is young, and while we still want to be there and
contribute as much as we can, sometimes the support that mothers seem to easily access is not available to new dads. Reading this book helped me feel
more at ease about being a new dad. It includes the
experiences of other new dads and how they faced
their challenges, and their descriptions of what being
a dad is like for them.
I would recommend this book to any new father or
even fathers with small children as it provides useful information about children of varying ages from a
father’s point of view.
Call me Dad! is part of the AIFS library collection.
Loans and photocopies of material from the Institute’s
Library are available via interlibrary loan. For information on how to access the AIFS collection, go to:
<www.aifs.gov.au/institute/info/ficservices.html>.
Mark Sipthorp is a new dad, and also Data Manager on the
Longitudinal Study of Australian Children at the Australian Institute
of Family Studies.
Family Relationships Quarterly No. 14
18 2009
2011 | 19
CONFERENCE REPORT
What about me? Self care for workers in the
family law context
Rebecca Eberle
One of the benefits of cross-disciplinary networks such
as Family Law Pathways Networks is that they can
address issues of concern to practitioners who, although
working with families in diverse ways, are faced with
similar professional and personal challenges. This is
particularly so for family lawyers who, as a profession,
do not have a tradition of structured supervision and
de-briefing. The Albury–Wodonga Family Law Pathways
Network conducted a one-day conference in mid-2010
that explored the issues of worker burnout, stress and
vicarious trauma in the family law context. This report
gives a brief insight into the day.
The idea for the conference theme came about at a
Family Law Pathways Network Reference Group
Meeting in June 2009. A local family lawyer who
attended that meeting said that she felt almost “physically ill” when passing by the local Family Law Court
registry due to the stress that her work was causing.
Many other workers spoke about similar experiences
of feeling overwhelmed and defenceless in the face of
a never-ending tide of parents in high conflict.
Delegates from a range of organisations participated in the conference, including the Child
Support Agency, Centrelink, Family Relationship
Centres, Centacare, Upper Murray Family Care,
Hume Riverina Community Legal Service, Gateway
Community Health, Family Court staff and family
lawyers, as well as staff from a women’s refuge, a
children’s contact service and a parenting orders
program. The program provided a mix of keynote
addresses, a theatre group performance, networking and a presentation from the Family Court of
Australia’s Chief Justice, Diana Bryant.
Keynote speaker
information about
trauma, as well as
can address these
Caryn Walsh provided useful
stress, burnout and vicarious
how workers and organisations
issues. Suggestions for service
providers arising from a subsequent brainstorming
session included:
ensure staff have access to regular and skillful
supervision, as well as opportunities for formal
and informal de-briefing;
engage
in team building activities—services
should consider having a day or session dedicated
to activities that promote team work, preferably
involving fun;
maintain professional development and training
for staff, especially in relation to dealing with difficult situations;
ensure staff receive positive recognition for their
hard work; and
engage a consultant periodically to check on individual stress levels of staff.
Self-care implies a degree of personal responsibility, and delegates were reminded of the importance
of having “mental health” days, working from home
occasionally, taking annual leave, having a massage
and sharing lunch with colleagues.
The Playback Theatre performed using ideas, feelings and scenarios from the audience to re-enact
their stories. The performance was heartfelt and
really tapped into some of the emotions that are
commonly felt by workers who give so much of
themselves to their work while still maintaining busy
home and family lives. Many audience members
brought out the hankies as tears were shed!
This conference highlights the need for practitioners
working with families in crisis, and their employers,
to have strategies in place to monitor and address
work-related stress. It also demonstrates that interdisciplinary networking has the potential to benefit
the professionals involved, as well as the clients they
seek to help.
Rebecca Eberle is with the Albury Wodonga Family Law Pathways
Network
Information on conferences of interest to family and relationship services providers and practitioners can be found at:
<www.aifs.gov.au/afrc/conferences.html>
This page also lists training providers throughout Australia who offer training and professional development
opportunities relevant to working with families and relationships.
Literature highlights
Culturally and linguistically diverse families
The following are a selection of resources from the Australian Institute of Family Studies library collection and other
sources. Web addresses are included for electronic resources.
Compiled by Carole Jean, Librarian
Early intervention with refugee and
newly arrived young people: The Centre
for Multicultural Youth Issues (CMY)
Reconnect Young Refugees and Newly
Arrived Youth Support programs. (2009).
Liddy, N. Parity, 22(2), 18–20.
Young people who are newly arrived migrants
or refugees are at high risk of homelessness.
The Centre for Multicultural Youth Issues operates two programs to reduce homelessness
among these groups through culturally appropriate early intervention services for young people and their families. The Centre’s Reconnect
Young Refugees program and the Newly
Arrived Youth Support Service early intervention
strategies take a culturally responsive approach
and seek to address the trauma of the refugee
experience and demands of resettlement in
Australia. The program model incorporates four
central elements: working in the family context;
individual support; family work; and community
capacity building, including group work. This
article describes the early intervention work
carried out by these programs, the particular
needs of refugee and migrant youth, and the
importance of a culturally responsive approach
to practice.
Culturally responsive family dispute
resolution in family relationship centres.
(2009). Armstrong, S. Family Relationships
Quarterly, 13, 3–7. Available at <www.aifs.
gov.au/afrc/pubs/newsletter/newsletter13.
html>
Family relationship centres (FRCs) are required
to liaise and work with local communities to
provide services relevant to those communities. Among other things, FRC staff and processes must take account of and be sensitive
to the cultural backgrounds of clients. This has
led many FRCs to begin to develop innovative approaches to assist and provide family
dispute resolution to Indigenous and culturally
and linguistically diverse communities. Two
FRCs with which the author is associated have
initiated research, still in progress, to develop
culturally responsive family dispute resolution (FDR). This paper synthesises some of the
issues identified in the literature to provide a
framework for thinking about how FRCs, and
other service providers in this sector, might provide culturally responsive FDR.
Women’s issues in a diverse Australia.
(2008). Alloush, L. Australian Mosaic,
18(Apr), 46–47.
Migrant and refugee women face complex
issues in addition to those common to other
migrants. This article discusses impediments
to the empowerment and social inclusion of
young women of Arabic speaking background
(ASB). Developmental and culturally specific
issues for ASB women in Australia include negative body image, confusion about cultural and
religious identity and intergenerational conflict.
ASB youth often leave school early, and young
women are often unmotivated to pursue further education or a career. Many marry early.
Issues of gender and clothing can be barriers
to the participation of ASB women in sport and
recreation. The article discusses the work of the
Victorian Arabic Social Services and the AntiRacism Action Band with ASB youth. It recommends strategies to address the complex issues
facing ASB women, including: career advisors
program in schools; programs to increase parents’ knowledge about the importance of education; gender specific leadership camps; free
driving courses to reduce social isolation.
Fun Days Out: Normalising social experiences for refugee children. (2008).
Hallahan, L., & Irizarry, C. Journal of Family
Studies, 14(1), 124–130
A program called Fun Days Out, which offers
normalising social experiences for refugee children, is presented and reviewed. The evidence
for a recreational approach to recovery from
trauma through community integration for
refugee children in South Australia is examined.
The study focuses on the literature about traumatised children, resilience, community development and relevant social work theory. The
article concludes that the program foundations
and operations are well-supported in the literature and calls for further research, especially
program evaluation which measures the lasting
impacts of intervention, as the basis for expansion in this model of working with vulnerable
children and young people.
Infants in refugee and asylum-seeker
families. (2008). Mares, S., Powrie, R. In:
Williams, A. S., & Cowling, V. (eds), Infants of
parents with mental illness (pp. 141–157).
Bowen Hills, Qld: Australian Academic Press.
The circumstances of war, political persecution
and forced migration experienced by refugees
and asylum seekers imposes considerable
stress on individual and family. The developmental risk and protective factors affecting
infants and young children in families who
seek refuge or asylum in countries other than
their own are explored in this chapter. The
chapter summarises the sparse empirical data
and uses case studies to consider the implications for clinicians working with refugee infants
and families in health and early childhood services. It discusses the influence of culture on
parenting and on the expression, perception
and treatment of mental illness. It considers
the various phases of the refugee experience
and their impact on the mental health of
refugees. The effects of Australia’s policies on
asylum seekers are also discussed, comparing
treatment of recent arrivals to the assistance
provided to “boat people” in the 1970s and
highlighting the difference in the levels of
mental health issues. The chapter outlines the
assessment of refugees, subsequent interventions and their effects.
What about the children? The voices
of culturally and linguistically diverse
children affected by family violence.
(2008). Dawson, J. Melbourne: Immigrant
Women’s Domestic Violence Service.
As in all communities, migrant children in
Australia may experience the problem of
domestic violence. However, this problem is
compounded for migrant children, who may
be learning a new language, are removed
from their community support networks,
and may also be dealing with discrimination. This report highlights the particular
issues and impacts of family violence in
migrant families, including the effects on
child development, anxiety, and self-esteem.
The report also includes findings from
bilingual, bicultural focus groups held by
the Immigrant Women’s Domestic Violence
Service, which investigated the feelings
and service needs of children from Chinese,
Turkish, and Vietnamese families. The service
delivery implications are discussed.
Culture and children’s health-care: The
lay of the land. (2007). Chalmers, S.
Australian Mosaic, 15, 22–24.
Two projects undertaken by the Centre
for Cultural Research at the University of
Western Sydney have explored the relationship between children from culturally and
linguistically diverse (CALD) backgrounds,
parenting, health care and social well being.
This article draws on data from these projects
to discuss ethnicity as a sociocultural marker
and to explain why health care in a multicultural Australia needs to be understood
as part of a broader social system, influenced by a range of diverse elements such
as the media, politics, gender relations and
migration.
Working with families from culturally
and linguistically diverse backgrounds.
(2007). Foster, S. Every Child, 13(4), 32–33.
The Let’s Read program encourages parents
to have fun reading with young children as
a basis for literacy and school readiness. It is
designed to be owned and implemented by
the local community. This article considers
the specific issues that migrant or cultural
and linguistic groups might experience in
using the Let’s Read program. It explores
the requirements of culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) communities, including:
accommodating cultural similarities and differences in relation to language, literacy and
education; community consultations about
expectations in relation to literacy and reading aloud with a young child; and examination of Let’s Read materials in relation to
cultural suitability and acceptability.
Working with families from culturally
and linguistically diverse communities in
Queensland: An Australian exploratory
study. 2007 . Kaur, J. Children Australia,
32(4), 17–24.
In Australia there is limited research and
information regarding how Culturally and
Linguistically Diverse (CALD) families are
assessed within the child protection system.
This paper explores assessment issues faced
by child protection investigation officers
when working with CALD families in the
Queensland child protection system. The
research examined the level of knowledge,
training and experiences of child protection
officers and whether they were ‘culturally
competent’. The study found that entry level
officers did not receive adequate training
and resources, and lacked CALD-specific
knowledge on how to deal with cross cultural
issues when working with CALD families.
Respondents indicated that interpreters’ services were effective during investigation and
assessment of CALD families. The findings of
this study highlight key concerns in the provision of child protection assessments, practice,
policy and service delivery when working
with CALD families.
The African Youth and Family Project:
Exploring connections between young
people and family, school and community services. (2007). Centre for
Multicultural Youth Issues. Available at:
<www.cmy.net.au/Assets/184/1/PDF01
AfricanYouthFamilyFinalReport6July.pdf>
The report evaluates the African Youth
and Family Project, which was developed
in response to feedback from meetings
between the Sudanese community, youth
services and other community organisations
in the City of Greater Dandenong about a
range of issues. The project aimed to cultivate
and strengthen reciprocal connection and
understanding between African young people and their families, services and schools.
It established a reference group, and a Youth
Advisory Committee comprising young people from African background who guided the
project via recreation and community forums.
The process was modelled on an action
research framework. The report concludes
that the project’s success and achievements
surpassed all original expectations.