Spring 2015 copy
Transcription
Spring 2015 copy
S.A.F.E. House Sun Message from the Director Page 1 Message from the Director Page 2 How to Help... Page 3 How to Help.. Page 4 What’s Going On Free Events in the Community Page 5 Save the Date Page 6 Wish List Page 7 Contributor’s Corner Page 8 Contact Information Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon, which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals. Martin Luther King, Jr. Spring 2015 The Cost of Domestic Violence Prior to the mid-1970’s domestic violence was seen as a “family problem”. There were no laws in any state that recognized physical abuse as criminal behavior. The first focus in pioneering efforts against domestic violence was to advocate and educate lawmakers, law enforcement and the judicial system and to help them recognize that a marriage license should not be a license to assault your spouse. Slowly, laws were enacted that acknowledged this position. Domestic violence was no longer a “family matter” it was a criminal issue – a problem for law enforcement and the courts to deal with. Today the paradigm has shifted again. And domestic violence is seen as a social, business health and community problem. Why? Because we are surrounded by it on every side: one in four women will be physically assaulted by their partner; it is the leading cause of injury to women between 18-44; one in every three homicide victims were killed by their partner. Women who have been battered experience higher rates of chronic disease – they are 70% more likely to have heart disease and 80% more likely to have a stroke. Children who grow up in violent homes have a higher incidence of mental health problems and alcohol and drug use problems. They drop out of school more frequently and earlier than children in non-violent homes. A 2005 DOJ study concluded that even if your child lives in a non-violent home their academic progress will be negatively affected by simply being in the same classroom as a child living in violence. Children living in violence take up more of a teacher’s time since the teacher may need to spend more time with the child trying to get them caught up academically or may need to respond to the child’s behavioral problems more often. Or both. The enormous human costs of domestic violence are matched by the dollar costs of domestic violence. 25% of women who work outside the home say that their productivity has been affected by domestic violence. 8 million paid work days ($2.5 billion dollars) are lost because of domestic violence and higher medical costs for survivors of violence add another $5.8 billion to that total. We all have a role too play in ending violence in our community. If you suspect that some you know maybe - or is- being abused speak up about it. Tell her you are sorry these things are happening to her and let her know help is available. Leave the door open. She may not ask for help now but may need help in the future. Call law enforcement if you see or hear what you believe is domestic violence. Not making the call allows the violence to continue. In the end, as a community, we will get what we settle for. Let’s not settle for allowing the violence to continue. The price is simply too high. Michele Fuller, LISW Executive Director How can you help a friend or family member? ♥ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEY ARE IN A VERY DIFFICULT AND SCARY SITUATION, BE SUPPORTIVE AND LISTEN. Let them know that the abuse is not their fault. Reassure them that they are not alone and that there is help and support out there. It may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know that you are available to help whenever they may need it. What they need most is someone who will believe and listen. ♥BE NON-JUDGMENTAL. Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize their decisions or try to guilt them. They will need your support even more during those times. ♥IF THEY END THE RELATIONSHIP, CONTINUE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF THEM. Even though the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and lonely once it is over. They will need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will especially need your support at that time. ♥ENCOURAGE THEM TO PARTICIPATE IN ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Support is critical and the more they feel supported by people who care for them, the easier it will be for them to take the steps necessary to get and stay safe away from their abusive partner. Remember that you can call the hotline to find local support groups and information on staying safe. ♥HELP THEM DEVELOP A SAFETY PLAN. Check out our information on creating a safety plan for wherever they are in their relationship — whether they’re choosing to stay, preparing to leave, or have already left. ♥ENCOURAGE THEM TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO CAN PROVIDE HELP AND GUIDANCE. Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Call us at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to get a referral to one of these programs near you. Offer to go with them. If they have to go to the police, court or lawyer’s office, offer to go along for moral support. ♥REMEMBER THAT YOU CANNOT “RESCUE” THEM. Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately they are the one who has to make the decisions about what they want to do. It’s important for you to support them no matter what they decide, and help them find a way to safety and peace. thehotline.org Do • ask if something is wrong • express concern • offer help • support his or her decisions • say I’m afraid for your safety • say I care about you, and I know how it is hard to talk about this • say it will only get worse • say I can give you a number to call for help and advice • say we’re here for you when you are ready to when you are able to leave • say you deserve better than this Also DO: Don’t • wait for him or her to come to you • judge or blame • pressure him or her • give advice • place conditions on your support • say why don’t you just leave? • say why did you return to your partner? • say what did you do to provoke your partner? • say why did you wait so long to tell someone? Adapted from NYS office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that you’re concerned. Point out the things you’ve noticed that make you worried. Tell the person that you’re there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk. Reassure the person that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her know that you’ll help in any way you can. Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends. By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive situation and begin healing. thehotline.org Local Resources: S.A.F.E. House: 505-247-4219 or 1800-772-2645 Agora Crisis Line 277-3013Law Law Access New Mexico (Legal Help Line) Albuquerque Rescue Mission 346-4673 or 924-1311 998-4529 or 1-800-340-9771 APD (non-emergency) 242-2677Legal Aid 243-7871 Barrett House 243-4887MATTS 243-4887 MATTS 468-1555 Catholic Charities 247-0442National National DV Hotline CYFD 841-6100 or 1800-797-3260Rape 1800-797-3260 Rape Crisis Center Domestic Violence Resources DVLR 884-1241 243-4300 or 1-877-974-3400 724-4615 S.A.N.E. (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) 884-7263 246-8972Spanish Spanish Speaking Suicide Hotline Evolution Group 242-6988St. St. Martin’s 896-4869 or 1-800-526-7157St. 1-800-526-7157 St. Vincent de Paul Health Care for the Homeless 266-7711 Rapid Re-housing (Catholic Charities) Enlace Communitario Haven House 1-800-799-7233 766-5197 UNM Mental Health H.E.L.P NM 265-3714 Valencia Shelter Joy Junction 877-6967 Victim’s Assistance 1-800-784-2432 766-6876 242-2989 or 877-2245 272-1700 864-1383 768-2104 What’s Going On Here are a few free events and activities happening in Albuquerque. Lunar Monday When: April 27, 2015 9:30pm Where NM Museum of Natural History, 1801 Mountain RD. NW Description: View the moon up close through our observatory telescope. Learn about it’s features, history, and future of its exploration. FREE! The Spring Thing, Free Concert When: April 26, 2015 at 2:00pm Where: Congregation Albert 3800 Louisiana Blvd. NE Description: Free Concert Model Boat Regata When: April 25 &26, 2015 9am - 2pm Where: Tingley Beach Description: Come and watch model boat enthusiasts race to win! Pack a picnic and enjoy the beautiful April weather. FREE! Free Entrance to ABQ Museums! -National Hispanic Cultural Center, 1701 4th Street NW 505-246-2261: Free every Sunday! -Albuquerque Museum of Art and History, 2000 Mountain Rd. NW 505-842-0111: Free every Sunday 9am to 1pm & First Wednesday of each month from 9am to 5pm. Art in the Afternoon: Marietta Jazz: Join us for live music, food and Art in the Afternoon! When: Apr 25, 2015, 2:00pm to 5:00pm Where: Albuquerque Museum of Art & History, 2000 Mountain NW 505-243-7255: Enjoy live music, food and drink specials at Slate at the Museum, and great shopping at Art in the Afternoon! This week's live entertainment is Marietta Jazz! A seasoned jazz singer with years on the New York scene, Marietta Benevento offers smooth, playful takes on mainstream jazz standards and freshsounding, intimate stylings of the American songbook. A Berklee alum, she was mentored by the great jazz vocalists Sheila Jordan and Anne Marie Moss, and also undertook classical studies and performed in major NYC venues. Marietta swings and bops with energy, moves easily through bossas, delivers ballads with depth, puts heart into lyrics, light or loving A Night in the 40's: Big Band Swing: New Mexico Veterans' Memorial presents an evening of unforgettable swing! When: Apr 25, 2015: 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm Where: New Mexico Veterans' Memorial Visitors Center 1100 Louisiana Blvd SE, Albuquerque, NM 87108 505-256-2042: The New Mexico Veterans' Memorial presents an evening of live big band swing! With featured performers, The American Legion Band and The Dukes of Albuquerque, you'll find it hard to believe you're not out for a swingin' night in the 1940s. Big Band Swing will take place at the New Mexico Veterans' Memorial Visitors Center on the last Saturday of each month. Bring a dance partner and get ready for some fun! Price: Free Save The Date! If you cannot attend the event but would still like to help make a difference, below is our wish list. When our residents come into shelter, most come in with nothing more than the clothes they have on and we try to help them with their basic needs. Your donations help us make that possible. Thank you for your support! CONTRIBUTOR’S CORNER The generous contributions of the following individuals and businesses are what help keep our services available to victims of intimate partner domestic violence. We want to say a big heart felt THANK YOU for your donations. Your donations throughout the year help provide safe housing, meals and snacks, support groups, individual counseling, toiletries, linens, transportation, birthday cakes and gifts for the children, diapers, and clothing for our residents. Without our funders and contributors, we would not be able to do the work we do. S.A.F.E. House P.O. Box 25363 Albuquerque, NM 87125 If you would rather receive our newsletter via email instead of having a hard copy mailed to you, please reply to Phone: (505) 247-4219 Fax: (505) 224-9695 24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 1-800-773-3645 S A F E Yes, I am ready to help provide safety and support for survivors of domestic violence and their children in our community. I want to be a part of S.A.F.E. House’s mission to break the cycle of violence in New Mexico. H O U [email protected] S E S U N Board of Directors Officers: I would like to make a donation of: $1,000 $750 $ 500 $250 $75 $50 Mike Zambrano, President Diahndra Grill, Vice President Dylan Shaw, Treasurer Cheryl Strotz, Secretary Other: $_______________________________ Your donation can be made by: Enclosing a check (made payable to S.A.F.E. House) to P.O. Box 25363 Albuquerque, NM 87125 OR, by going to our website at www.safehousenm.org and making a secure, on-line donation. The return on your investment will be a healthier, safer community. Members: Sue Chambers Eric Jordan Stephanie McAllister Kathy Preonas