You Win Some...You Lose Some

Transcription

You Win Some....
You Lose Some
by. Melvin Spencer
You Win
Some, You Lose Some (Fiction)
4/19/16
by: Melvin Spencer
#3420259
HCC
Huttonsville, WV 26273
You Win Some, You Lose Some is a thrilling tale of how love, the streets, and friendship
can be a deadly mix. Marvin is a fresh eighteen and he learns how life can hit you hard and fast.
When he's caught up in the street life, and a crazy love triangle, all the while being torn between
friendships and the thin line between love and hate, he has to make some very adult decisions
fresh into his short adult life. Soon he finds out that while decisions have to be made, they're
also something that you have to live, or die, with.
(Look for book #2 Something 2 Cherish later this year)
Introduction
Growing up in Southwest Detroit, you can't help but learn how to hustle in some way,
form, or fashion. It almost always starts out innocently; getting five dollars worth of penny
candy from the candy lady in the hood, taking it to school, and doubling, sometimes tripling,
your money When you grow up with nothing, you learn quickly that everything is a hustle.
What's petty soon becomes serious and full-blown, and before you know it, you're sucked into
the game and your life revolves around the streets and the hustle. Yet, the streets are cold, and
the game isn't fair.
"Conquerors and cowards feel the same fear. Conquerors respond to that fear differently."
You Win Some... .You Lose Some
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by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter I
Man, I hate doing this. Coming on school grounds with all this weed made me feel like
the hottest dude in the city. I had thirty dub sacks, and all of that would be gone by the end of
second period. The customers be copping like they're at the academy, so within two hours I'll
have made six hundred dollars. That's more than some people make in two weeks. I'll make
over half the six hundred before the start of first period, sell a good chunk of what I'll have left
in the locker room before gym class, and anything I had left would be sold on my way out the
back door at the beginning of third period.
I'm a senior, and being that it's the middle of April, I have all of my credits. We,
technically, aren't allowed to leave school grounds, but it's a well known fact that at this time of
year, most seniors did; most freshmen, sophomores, and juniors too, for that matter.
I get to school early most days, to catch them latchkey kids who have parents that are
workaholics, and don't give two shits about their kids personal lives, or emotional well being;
these kids are some of my best customers. Today I arrived a little later than I wanted to, but I
ain't tripping, I'd make it up.
When I pulled up, everybody was congregating in the front, or on the side of the school; a
Cody High School tradition. I made my way towards the side of the school where I saw my
homeboys, Tae, Twan, and Brian. Twan (Antwan) and Brian are brothers. A lot of people
thought they were twins cause they looked so much alike. Tae, actually Lamont Kentae Parks,
has been my homie since first grade. My foster mom and his mom are good friends, so we're
like brothers. Oh yeah, I'm Marvin, but everybody calls me Mani. I'm eighteen years old, and
I'm a month and a half away from graduation. I couldn't wait to be finished with school, but,
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admittedly, there are some things that I will miss, like all this easy money.
Brian had his car door open blasting instrumentals, when I came around to the side of the
school; it sounded like a Just Blaze beat. This means the cipher is jumping off. Occasionally,
there would be battles, but for the most part, the ciphers are subdued; just a bunch of aspiring
rappers trying out their new sixteens before they get put in a song.
"What up doe, Marv? I know you got something new", Brian called out, waving me
over.
I started bobbing my head to the beat, and soon I was in my. zone.
"It's Yung Marv, tell me what the business is/What you witnessing is history, but there
won't be no witnesses/Nap on the track, but they still can't get the kid/Cock and let the three
replace the nine like Jon Kitna did/No rodeo, but if it's beef bring the cow boy/Get ya forks, I
hold court, and you.. .you just a towel boy/True, I paid my dues, case won't even make trial/Feds
couldn't spot me, not even on the weight pile."
Nobody rapped after me. Never. I don't know if I'm that good, or if they are that bad,
but I always end the ciphers. By this time cats come up to me telling me about new projects
they're working on, or song that I would be perfect for. Truthfully, I took a nonchalant approach
to rap. I like rapping, but at this point in my life, that's as far as it goes. There are three things in
life that I care about: my homeboys, my girls, my family, and my money; and not in that
particular order.
Speaking of my girl!
"Damn, Marv; you don't ever say a rhyme about me; what's up wit that?", Gina asked,
pushing through the crowd.
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"I rap about you all the time", I assured her.
"When?"
"I wrap it up every time I hit that."
She gave me a playful punch and gave me a hug. I held her tight as I returned her hug. I
always held her this way after being apart from her for any amount of time. One minute away
from Gina was too long for me. I kissed her forehead as I always do when I'm greeting her, and
when I'm leaving her.
Gina is a chocolate complexioned girl, with big brown eyes, a cute broad nose, and a
smile that makes me dizzy. She's a eighteen year old senior, and one of the most popular girls in
school. She's prissy, both adorable and annoying simultaneously, the head cheerleader, and a
self-proclaimed fashionista, but, then again, what girl isn't. Gina is someone to be admired
among her peers, but to me she's my everything, my heart.
I took her books, and we made our way towards the front entrance where we had to go
through the metal detectors. I know it sounds more like a prison than a high school, but you get
used to it. Plus, with all the shootings that go on in the hood, it feels good not having to worry
about a crazy lunatic shooting up the school.
"Are you staying all day?", Gina asked while putting all of her things on the table next to
the metal detector.
"Naw. I'll probably leave after English Lit; why?"
I have gym first period, which I didn't bring a change of clothes for, purposely. So, I
would probably sit on the bleachers and write rhymes. The only reason I'm staying for second
period English Lit is because we're working on poetry, which I like.
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"I was trying to go to the mall to pick up a new outfit for this weekend", Gina replied
while cutting her eyes at me.
Gina thought I hated going shopping with her, which is only partly true. I loved going
shopping with het Walking through the mall with her made me feel like the luckiest man on
earth. The only thing I hate is when she tries to pick out my clothes like I'm some fashion
misfit; and of course I hate when we spend eight hours at the mall for one outfit and a pair of
shoes.
"That's cool. I gotta stop by the spot, then we can go to Fairlane; I gotta pick up
something from 4Men's anyway", I replied coolly, to ensure her that it really wasn't a problem.
Gina is weird like that. She never wants to intrude on anything I'm doing, yet somehow
she always manages to. I give her plenty of space, and I believe that's why I never stray; I guess
the adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in our relationship. However, she's
always there when I need her.
"Hey, I'm not going to wait for you all day. If you aren't there by the time I start my car,
I'm leaving you. You hear me?"
She didn't say anything. She just turned on her heels and sashayed away, looking back to
make sure my eyes were on her. I ain't goin front, her walk is mean. Like Tyra Banks on the
runway.
"I love you, Boo", I called to her.
I heard a faint "I larow", malcing me smile as I made my way to the gym.
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Chapter 2
Gym class breezed by. I managed to write two sixteens and a hook for a song that was
catchy and up tempo. It was one those rare times when I was actually proud of myself I am my
own worst critic! I find it very hard to appreciate anything that I've created. It's safe to say that
I'm a bit self-conscious about my work. English Literature was exciting also. We went over
Maya Angelou's "Still I Rise", and got into a deep discussion on how blacks can pull themselves
up and make a way for themselves rather than relying so heavily on the government for
assistance. It got heated, quickly. It sounded like a Black Panther rally. The one white boy we
have in our class was shook; he kept looking at the clock, anticipating the end of the class. I
thought he would get up and run out of there at any minute.
I pushed the skip button on my Bob Marley CD, until I found my favorite song,
"Redemption Song". I have been sitting in my '96 Impala, waiting on Gina for the past five
minutes, and I'm starting to get irritated. This was probably payback for how I stunted on her
this morning, but I'm still going to tell her about herself when she gets in the car.
Just as I'm about to text Gina and tell her I'm leaving, she comes run out the back door,
with her friend, Tracy. This is another one of my pet peeves! I hate it when Gina's inability to
say no spills over into my personal life. She'll tell one of her friends what we are going to do,
and they will inevitably ask if they can come also, and I'm stuck with her and her friend(s)
talking my ear of and rearranging the CD's and DVD's in my car.
"Sure, you can bring Tracy with you", I said sarcastically when they got into the car.
"I'm sorry, baby. It was last minute", she said after kissing me on the cheek.
"What's up, Trace?", I greeted her through the rearview mirror as I pulled out of the
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parking lot.
"What's up, my nigga?", she replied.
Under normal circumstances this wouldn't strike me as odd, but Tracy is white. Gina
looked at me knowingly, and just shook her head. Tracy is eighteen, with long, curly, hair, sexy
blue eyes, high cheek bones, a plump, round face, a thick frame, and she's 100% WHITE. She
has a brother who is half black, she only dates black guys, and her mother is married to a black
guy; so somewhere in her mind this meant she was just as black as the rest of us. She's from our
hood, so no one ever messed with her about it; plus she's cooler than most niggaz I know.
"I gotta stop by the spot for a little bit, then we can hit up the mall", I said, this being
more for Tracy's benefit than Gina's.
The conversation remained casual as we rode up Greenfield. It was mostly girl talk; go
figure. I would say "yeah" and "hmm lunm" where ever necessary, but for the most part, I
stayed out of it. I was thinking about how Gina really messed up my plans. I had a dirty movie
in the DVD player, thinking we would be by ourselves. I was going to use that to get her right,
then we would stop by the spot for a quickie before going to the mall. So much for that! I
should turn the movie on anyway, for the hell of it. That'll teach her to bring uninvited guest.
"Mani?", I was brought back from my thoughts.
"What's up?"
"I said, ain't that right?"
"Damn. My bad, G. I wasn't paying attention. What'd you say?"
She didn't answer. She started to pout and said nothing. Gina hated to repeat herself.
Good, I hate it when my plans are ruined.
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"Love you", I said, as we pulled up to the house.
Still no answer.
"Fuck it. I love you, Tracy", I said with my most charming smile, looking in my
rearview mirror.
She blushed and smiled back, but knew not to say a word. Gina punched me in the arm,
and smiled a smile she tried hard to fight back. I leaned over and kissed her lips, softly, and
when I tried to pull away, she grabbed my face and kissed me hard and long. I gave her a
knowing smile.
"I still love you, Tracy", I said, again, looking in the rearview minor.
I got out, opened Tracy's door, and helped her out of the car. She said thank you as I did
the same for Gina. I led the way as they trailed me, giggling, no doubt but how much of a
perfect gentleman I am. I wasn't intentionally being mushy. My foster mom is a single parent,
and she taught me to always respect a lady. So, my actions are more habitual than anything else.
I put the key in the front door, and instructed Tracy to remove her shoes; Gina already knows the
routine. The living room is called the "white room" for obvious reasons; everything in it is
white. White leather couch, white leather love-seat, white stone glass tables, white lamps, and
white carpet. This room is basically for company, but more for show than anything. I led them
down the hallway, through the kitchen and to the basement, where everything is located.
The basement is decked out with a pool table, a high definition flat screen, surround
sound system, Xbox and Playstation for NBA 2K and Madden tournaments, and a laptop.
Tracy's mouth fell open as she looked around. Her eyes fell on the huge fish tank built into the
wall, with every kind of fish you could think of.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Where's Dollars?", Gina asked as she threw her jacket on the couch.
"He's probably out back. Why don't you go and let him in, but don't let him go
upstairs."
As Gina went to get Dollars, our friendly pitbull, I turned to Tracy.
"Make yourself comfortable. What's mine is yours."
"Does that computer have the intemet?", she asked.
"Yeah, feel free. I gotta run upstairs. Oh, and don't worry about Dollars, he's harmless."
I turned to go upstairs, and caught Gina and Dollars coming through the back door.
Dollars jumped on me, staining my clothes. I rubbed his head, and pulled Gina towards the
kitchen. We let the back door shut, and Dollars ran downstairs to harass Tracy. I pushed Gina
up against the fridge and kissed her long and hard. By the look in my eyes and the feeling in my
pants, she knew what I wanted, and she obliged me.
We barely made it to my room before I was out of my shirt, gripping her body, holding
on for dear life. She grabbed at my belt while I took off her shirt and undid her bra. Pushing her
back on the bed, I took off my shoes and pants, almost at the same time. She looked at me,
pulled up her skirt and pulled her panties off. She motioned me forward with her finger, and I
pounced on her like a lion in heat.
I stuck my head under her skirt, searching for the honey she had just motioned me
towards. Her juices were running out, and I caught every drop. Gripping mu hands under her
ample bottom so I could pull her closer to my mouth. I sucked and licked her pleasure box until
I felt her convulsing, and her legs tightening around my head.
She pulled me up and kissed me long and hard. She wanted to return the favor, but I
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insisted on pleasing her. I slid in her slowly, and stroked her while I gripped and massaged her
full breast. As she started moaning, I reached for the stereo remote on the night-stand. Pushing
play, Usher's "Confessions" started to play softly, and I put on my favorite song, "Do It To Me".
With the song helping my excitement and my rhythm, I picked her up, and put her head by the
foot of the bed, and turned her over on her stomach. I gave her a pillow to muffle the moans, and
she arched her back while looking back at me; almost daring me to pound her as hard as I could.
I accepted her challenge, and pulled her into me, guiding her head into the pillow. She
moaned even louder as I stroked to the beat of the song. She cried out for the lord, and my
excitement grew. In mid stroke, I looked up and saw Tracy peeking through the half opened
door.
Just as I was about to stop, she looked me in my eyes and smiled. I smiled back
sheepishly, but I didn't stop what I was doing. I was on a mission and I was going to complete
it. I thought Tracy would walk away, but she didn't; she just stood there watching me and
licking her lips. I looked down at Gina, but her face was in the pillow, oblivious to everything
else outside of my strokes and her pleasure.
I looked at Tracy, and she was still there smiling and licking her lips. I pounded harder
as I watched Tracy watching me. Climaxing, I collapsed on top of Gina, and my lips found hers.
I looked up again, the door was pulled up, and Tracy was gone.
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You Win Some... .You lose Some
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 3
"So she was just standing there watching yall?", Brian asked, shocked by the events that
I was relaying to him.
"Watching with a big ass smile, and licking her lips. Bro, she had to be watching for a
good five minutes."
"You know you ain't lasting five minutes."
"Whatever, nigga. It was a while, and who knows how long before I looked up."
"That shit is crazy! I would've told her to join in."
"Now you know Gina ain't having that shit. If she knew Tracy was watching, she
would've broke both her legs and made her crawl home."
Brian smiled knowingly.
"You right. I ain't tryna knock yo girl or nothing, but she gets crazy when it comes to
you. Remember when she hit me with that big ass branch when me and you were slap boxing
and I accidentally poked you in the eye?"
I smiled to myself
"I guess she can get kind of crazy. That's why you can't tell anybody about this. Not
your nosy ass brother, or Tae's loud mouth ass; you know they can't hold water."
Tvvan and Tae are my boys, but they are loose cannons. I'm talking about, no tact, no
discretion. Me and Brian are the level headed ones. That's why anytime I have something on
my mind that I can't discuss with Gina, I always holler at Brian. He always gives me sound
advice.
"If I was you I would confront her about it", Brian said, sitting the controller down after
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his third lost in NBA 2K.
I contemplated that for a moment, then quickly decided against it.
"Naw. She probably just got caught up in the moment. I'm gonna let that shit go."
"I'm saying, bro, if she saw you in Mandingo mode, she might get one of those fatal
attraction crushes."
We both laughed hard.
Just then Twan and Tae rushed in the back door, and ran to the basement like a tornado
was coming.
"Damn, bro! ya'll better not be bringing no heat to my crib", I said, going upstairs, and
checking to make sure the back door was locked.
"Chill, bro. We just tryna hurry up and get back so we can bust ya'll ass in this 2K", Tae
said picking up the controller.
"Yarn go ahead", I said. "Brian and I 'bout to bag up. Yarn did get the baggies, right?'
Twan reached in the bag and pulled out a fifth of Hennessy VSOP, and a box of sandwich
bags.
"You had to get a fifth, didn't ya?", I said, shaking my head.
"Fifth's popping", Tae said, while smacking the bottom of the bottle, a, sort of, ritualistic
blessing of the liquor.
Twan looked back and said, "You goin get right too, ain't you?"
"Naw, bro. I'ma wait until we get to the party. I gotta stay on point."
It's Friday! We're going to Inkster; a small town on the outskirts of the city. I have to
visit my mom and then we're going to hit up this house party that's being thrown by my homie
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TJ. Thomas James Reid is a childhood friend, who recently moved to Inkster when his dad
accepted a job at the high school there to be the head coach of the football team.
"Hey, put that Henny up, and don't be acting all crazy around my mom, bro", I said as we
pulled up to my adopted mom's house.
Tae rode with me, and Twan and Brian went home to change. My mom met us at the
front door.
"Hey, auntie Dot", Tae screamed, running to my mom like he was five years old again.
She gave him a big hug, looked him over, and said the same thing she always says.
"Boy, you are getting so big", Tae smiled, kissed her cheek, and ran straight into the
house towards her infamous candy dish.
When we were younger, we would fill our pockets to the top with all sorts of candy from
moms bowl, and it wouldn't leave a dent in her stash. She always knew when we'd dipped in
her bowl, because we would have a little more energy than usual, and we'd crash harder those
nights.
"Hey, ma."
"Come give your momma a hug", she said motioning me forward, as if I was going to try
to skip out on her.
She hugged me long and hard, and I cherished it. I saw my mother once, maybe twice a
week. She fell into some money a couple of years back, so she bought a house out here to get
away from the hustle and bustle of the city She left Tone, my older brother, the house in the
city, and we somehow convinced her that I should stay in the city and finish school. After a
heated debate, she concurred, and agreed that it was the best thing for me.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Antonio was just by here", she said to me, opening the front screen door.
"Where did he go?"
I checked the mailbox, because she's getting older, and oftentimes forgets to.
"He said he was going back to the cradle."
"You mean the crib", I corrected her.
"Whatever! I don't know why ya'll can't just talk like normal people. You want to walk
around listening to that hippty hop, with your pants halfway off ya ass, talking that slang. I
know I raised ya'll better than that", she snapped.
As I was praying that she would stop her ranting I heard Me throwing his two cents in.
"It's Hip Hop, auntie. We listen to Hip Hop."
After a few more minutes of going off we made our way to the kitchen and sat down,
while she prepped a meatloaf. She spoke from the stove that was giving off such a delicious
aroma.
"How is school coming along?"
"It's alright; I got all my credits, so I'm just in cruise control now."
"And for you?", she asked, nodding towards Tae, who for some reason had sat down with
a big bowl of cereal.
He looked up from his bowl of cinnamon Toast Crunch, and with a mouthful simply said,
"Alright."
"How's your mother?", she asked Tae.
He tipped the bowl up and drunk the rest of the cereal and milk, swallowed hard, and
after wiping his mouth on his sleeve he replied.
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"She's doing good. I'll tell her you asked about her."
"Marvin, how's Gina?"
"She's alright, I guess."
"She ain't pregnant, is she?"
"No, ma!"
"I'm just checking. You can never be too careful."
"No, she's not pregnant", I said with finality, at the same time, checking my vibrating
phone.
"This is her calling me right now."
"To tell you that's she's pregnant", Tae said, jokingly.
"What's popping, G?", I answered, walking into the other room for some privacy.
"I'm out front."
"Well, come on in, yo legs ain't broke, are they?"
She laughed sarcastically.
"Ha Ha. I got Tracy with me and I don't want to leave her in the car; you know your
mom is longwinded."
I cursed myself in my mind. What was Tracy doing here? Two days ago she was
watching me and Gina have sex, now she's coming to a party with us Damn!!!
"Tell her to come in too", I said hanging up the phone.
I met Gina and Tracy at the door. Watching Gina walk towards me made me think about
how she would look on our wedding day; decked out in an all white gown, and a smile on her
beautiful face. I looked at her in her red dress; every curve getting the attention it deserves. Her
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short, but well kept, hair accented her perfectly, and her eyes sparkled when the sun hit them. I
am in love! I hugged and kissed Gina, and relinquished her to my mom, who was standing in the
doorway.
While Gina and my mother hugged and chatted, I watched Tracy. If the way Gina looked
made me realize I was in love, looking at Tracy made me question, if love was enough? She was
wearing a red tennis skirt, that looks like something Serena Williams would play tennis in, some
white and red Valentine's Day Air Force Ones, and dangling earrings that looks like they came
from the Maria Sharapova collection.
"I guess we all match, huh?", Tracy said, admiring my outfit.
I had on a red and white Polo shirt, some red Polo shorts, red and white Polo boat shoes,
with matching socks, and a fresh Cincinnati Reds snapback.
"I guess so", was all I could say as I looked her up and down again.
I never noticed how thick she really is! She strutted pass me, making sure every part of
her bounced and jiggled, chasing after Gina and my mom, who had just walked in the house. I
opened the door for Tracy, and she thanked me with a smile. I watched her as she walked
toward the diningroom; looking back, she,caught my eyes trained on her butt. She smiled as I
quickly looked away. Closing the door behind me, I knew it was going to be a long night.
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You Win Some... .You Lose Some by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 4
"Alright, ya'll stay out of trouble", my mother called to Gina, Tracy, and Tae.
As they walked outside towards the cars, my mom stopped me.
"I need to talk to you. Have a seat real quick", she instructed me, motioning towards the
couch, and I sat down. "Who is that white girl?"
"That's one of Gina's friends, from school."
"Don't be riding around with that girl in your car", she said firmly.
"I'm not. She rode with Gina."
She gave me a look that said she meant what she was saying, and I understood.
"You two aren't doing anything", she raised her eyebrows "Are yr? 11?"
"Hell na...."
I caught myself. There's no way I could curse in front of my mother; too disrespectful.
"I mean, naw. That's Gina's friend and that's it"
"Good! Don't! I see the way she looks at you."
"Aww, ma. It ain't even like that."
"I'm serious, boy. Look at me. Marvin Aaron Williams."
I looked into her eyes.
"Don't mess with that girl."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Now, give me a hug."
I kissed and hugged her goodbye, and promised to call her tomorrow. I wondered why
she was so adamant about me not messing with Tracy. I didn't have time to think about it. Gina
by: Melvin Spencer
was waiting, and I was way too fresh to miss this party.
Brian and Twan pulled up while I was getting lectured, and everybody was at the bottom
of the driveway, brushing themselves off, and bragging about how good they looked. As I stood
on the porch looking down at everyone, something in the air didn't feel right. I shook it off, and
yelled for Brian and Twan to come say hi to my mother.
After hellos and goodbyes were said, we were ready to party. I grabbed my pistol and the
weed out of my car, put it in my red Polo Jacket, and jumped in the car with Gina and Tae. Gina
had her mom's car so I didn't have to drive. Brian and Twan offered to let Tracy ride with them,
which Gina didn't like; but she consented because the party was only four blocks up. Twan
winked at me, as if to tell me he was going to try to get with Tracy. I hoped he would.
We pulled around the corner and parked behind a long line of cars. We got out and
walked a half a block down to magnolia street. TJ lived in the second house on the right. We
went through a wooden gate to the backdoor that was standing wide open. TJ's mom was sitting
at the door with her hand out, undoubtedly looking for a fee, for trashing her basement. When
she saw me she jumped up and into my arms like I was her long lost son. In some ways I am. I
lived with her after running away from my adopted mom's house, under the pretense that she
was being too strict. I love TJ's mom like she were my mother, and she loves me like a son.
"Boy, you look so good", she said, examining me.
"Thank you, ma."
"Is that Gina", she asked, peeking around me.
"Yeah, that's her ugly behind."
"Boy, you shut yo mouth. This child is as pretty as an angel."
by: Melvin Spencer
Gina blushed shyly at the compliment.
"Thank you, ma."
"Ya'll go on in and enjoy ya'll selves; and Kentae don't you be starting no trouble, you
hear?"
"Yes ma'am", he responded, his head lowered while moving past her.
"And Marvin, tell TJ that I'm looking for him", she called after us.
"Ok, ma."
I found TJ in the middle of the semi-dark basement that was about sixty-five percent full.
I told him I was holding dub sacks, and I knew he would spread the word quickly. He pointed
me toward a table in the back, with chairs set up around it, and a white card on top that read
reserved. I grabbed Gina's hand , and she grabbed Tracy's, and we all made our way to the
table.
After pulling out chairs for the both of them and making sure they were seated, I went to
grab all three of us red Solo Cups and Cokes. Gina's driving so she isn't drinking tonight; I was
glad cause she gets belligerent when she drinks. I offered Tracy some Hennessy to go with her
Coke; smiled and nodded. I made her my famous half and half, and watched her as she took her
first sip. It went down smooth. She smiled, and said thank you. I told her, while nudging Gina,
"Oh, it's smooth now, but you'll feel it later." Gina laughed lightly.
I decided to mingle a little bit, and try to catch some sells. Son enough I had a line of
people coming to me; I knew this was TJ's doing. I would reward him later. I saw Gina and
Tracy on the dance floor, so I grabbed Twan and told him to pull up on Tracy. We made our
move. I started freaking Gina to Dru Hill's "Are You A Real Freak", and she threw it back like
by: Melvin Spencer
we were playing catch. Gina was a very sensual dancer and it transcended into the bedroom.
Whenever we danced she looked me in my eyes, giving me her undivided attention. It was like
no one else was there but us.
The Benny had me feeling myself, and I was matching her step for step. After a few
songs, she was sweating, and she decided to go and get some fresh air. She took Tracy from
Twan, and they both disappeared up the stairs, and into the darkness.
Twan and I sat down at our table. I made myself another drink, and he poured himself a
double shot. After I made another sell, Twan leaned over.
"I'm goin' pull Tracy tonight. I already got the number."
"Oh yeah?"
"If Brian and Tae think they goin' get me tonight on the numbers, their mistaken. I got
eight already."
No doubt they were playing the numbers game. Seeing who could leave the mall, the
park, and in this case, the party, with the most numbers. The winner got his dinner paid for the
next time we went out. I dropped out of the game last summer when Gina and I started getting
serious, but I still help pay for the winners dinner.
"I don't know, I seen Brian pulling, like, four chicks at one time, while you were freaking
Tracy."
I said this just to mess with him
"Say word."
"Word, bro. you better get out there and get some more numbers, and they better be
real"
20
by: Melvin Spencer
"Oh, you got jokes", he said walking toward a crowd of girls.
This is the life, I thought while sipping my drink. I got my homies with me, my girl with
me, my family's straight, for now, and money is not an issue. Life hasn't always been this good.
Times were hard for us growing up. Money was short, families were beefing, the streets weren't
safe (still aren't), and girls weren't always joelchag. Soon we'd be able to enjoy the fruits of our
labor; especially if this music shit jumps off. I would have to concentrate on it more, but there's
a definite possibility that I could be great at it.
"Will you make me another drink?"
Looking up I see it's Tracy standing there with a smile on her face.
"Oh, so you liked my drink, huh?", I said, the Henny putting a little more smoothness to
my swagger.
"Yeah, it was actually good."
I pulled out a chair for her, sat her down, and made her another one of my half and
halves.
"See, you gotta mix the perfect amount of Hennessy with the perfect amount of Coke", I
said with a smile, obviously feeling myself. "So, where's Gina?"
"She told me to tell you she was going to the store with your mother.
I nodded as I sat down.
"How many mothers do you have anyway?"
"No real ones, a bunch of surrogates, and one adoptive mom; but let's not talk about that,
it's a touchy subject and I don't warma blow my buzz"
"Sorry."
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by: Melvin Spencer
"It's cool. You didn't know. How's the drink?"
"The best I've ever had", she said smiling.
We sat there and bullshitted for about five minutes; talking about school and the hood.
Then Twan came over and asked Tracy to dance again. He was still giving her attention, trying
his best to get her to notice him.
"I'll dance with you for one song, then I'm gonna fall back", she told him, and soon they
were off.
I sat back, sipped my drink, and watched them dance to Drake's "Fancy". I noticed that
Tracy was watching me as she danced. She danced all over my preconceived notions that white
girls didn't have rhythm; she wined with a purpose, like she was bred in Jamaica. I watched her
a she moved, and her eyes never left mine. As Drake sung, rapped, or whatever it is he does, my
eyes begged her to keep going. I downed my drink, but never took my eyes off hers; she had me
mesmerized.
The song came to an end, and I snapped out of my trance. She walked over, looking
tired, and I pulled a chair out for her. She pulled her chair closer to mine, and laid her head on
my shoulder.
"I'm beat. That boy has too much energy."
"Yeah, but you kept up with him. It's hard to find someone who can do that. Twan has
so much energy he should have his own battery."
I was trying to talk my friend up, but I could tell by the way our bodies made contact that
she had no interest in him Her body language spoke Marvin, and only I could translate it.
"You're not too bad yourself. I saw you out there matching Gina move for move."
22
by: Melvin Spencer
"It was probably the liquor more than anything else."
"No. I know you got moves", she said as she sat up straight so she could look in my
eyes.
What she was looking for, I knew not. Truth maybe, a sign, love, pain, pleasure. I
thought about a couple of days ago when she watched me and Gina doing the forbidden dance.
She had definitely seen my moves, and she knew that I knew how to put in work. I had to steer
this conversation in a different direction before I crash. I don't want to go there, so I quickly
changed the subject.
"I gotta get the rest of these bags off. You goin' be okay right here for a minute?", I
asked, trying, desperately, to get away from her; she smiled and nodded, and I half-ran up the
stairs, and out into the backyard.
I smoked a Newport to help mellow out my buzz, and to calm me down. Tracy was
angling, but I didn't know at what. She was definitely a seductress, but she was Gina's
bestfriend, and I had no interest in hurting Gina, not in the slightest. What am I going to do?
By the time I took my last drag off the cigarette, I'd made six more sells. A hundred and
twenty dollars in five minutes wasn't doing anything for my mother's aspirations of me going to
college and getting a career. I could probably do college, because there would be even more
people there buying weed, but a nine to five was something that I couldn't fathom. I'm not
knocking it, but I just made, in five minutes, what most people make in a day.
"Bro, you always eating", I said to Tae, catching him coming out the kitchen with a plate.
"You know howl do", he replied, biting into a rib.
"How's the numbers game going?", I asked, stealing a sausage off his plate.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Next time you goin' draw back a nub, homeboy", he said giving me a serious look.
"I'm good for the night on the numbers; I got fifteen, and it's a off night for me."
"Shut up; you always tryna stunt."
He just hunched his shoulders, cockiness coming from his vibe.
"How many you think Twan and Brian have?", he asked, nibbling on a corn muffin.
"I know Twan had eight, but that was an hour ago, and ain't no telling how many Brian
got with his slick talking ass He might get you."
"You right; that nigga do talk fast as shit. Let's get back to the party; I might go for the
record tonight."
We made our way back inside. Tae slid off with some random chick, and I made my way
back to my table. I grab the Hennessy from the table and poured myself a shot.
"Gina ain't back yet?", I asked Tracy, trying to make conversation; normal conversation.
"Naw. Not yet."
"Well, she should be back any minute. You ain't bored are you?"
"No. I'm just resting."
"You want something to eat, or another drink?"
"I'm cool."
We sat there awkwardly as the music slowed down for the second time. This means
we're two-thirds of the way through the party. When Jay-Z's "Excuse Me Miss" came on Tracy
jumped up.
"That's my song. Come on Marv, let's dance."
Before I could come up with an excuse, or refuse, she grabbed my hand, and dragged me
by: Melvin Spencer
to a secluded corner, away from the crowded dance floor. She grabbed a chair and sat me down,
which meant one thing: The Infamous House Party Lap Dance.
The house party lap dance is one step away from sex. If a girl was just doing it for show,
she did it to fast paced music, in front of everyone, and never for a whole song; and sometimes
there was no touching allowed. But doing it during a slow song, in a secluded area, put the girl
in the mind frame of making love, and if you have a girlfriend, house part lap dances are a no-no.
Here I am, in a corner, getting a house party lap dance, from a girl I am obviously
attracted to, and she's my girlfriend's bestfriend. I tried not to think about it, but she made it
hard for me, literally. She was grinding slowly and deliberately, and my, eyes once again
followed her every move. She sat on my lap and leaned her head back so my lips were on her
neck; not quite kissing, but close enough for the touch to be sensual. I wanted to kiss her there
so bad, and she knew it. As she stood back up, her skirt came up also, revealing a red laced
thong. She turned around to face me, touching herself. Suddenly, she was straddling me,
whispering in my ear.
"Do you like what you see?"
I nodded as she grabbed my hands and put them on her thighs, running them up and
around to her apple bottom. She nibbled on my earlobe and whispered again.
"This is our little secret."
I nodded again. She grabbed my hands and let them search her body until they found her
breasts. She used my hands to massage her breasts, sighing with pleasure. Then her hands
roamed freely trying to find my member, and when she found my manhood, she caressed it
slowly. Stroking me slowly, she kissed me softly on my lips and said, "One day soon."
25
Chapter 5
"What the hell have I gotten myself into?", I asked myself.
"What'd you say?"
"Oh... .nothing."
I took a pull of the blunt that TJ had just rolled up. It was my last bag, and I gave it to
him on the strength that he helped me sell the rest of my stash. I made seven hundred dollars
tonight, easily.
"So, who's the white girl?", TJ asked, blowing smoke out of his nose.
"One of Gina's crazy friends."
"She's pretty thick for a white girl. She looks like she was bred down south. You know,
raised on black eye peas and cornbread."
"Yeah, I guess so."
TJ passed me the blunt.
"Why don't you hook yo boy up?", he said.
"I think Twan's trying to get at her."
"Well, tell Twan he about to have a little competition."
"May the best man win", I said after dapping him up and leaving him with the blunt.
I truly hoped that one of them would make a good impression on her, so I can get her off
of my back.
Coming back through the kitchen toward the basement, I spotted Gina with two cases of
soda. I relieved her of her duty, and let her go back to the party. I helped TJ's mom with the
sodas and the rest of the groceries that she had purchased. Just stuff for the party: chips, dip,
by: Melvin Spencer
cake, hot dog buns, hamburger buns, and wine coolers.
"Are you alright, baby?", she asked, putting a case of sodas in the freezer.
"Yes, ma'am, I just got a lot on my mind."
"Well, don't let your thoughts weigh you down; they'll become a ball and chain, and
you'll be a slave to your own thoughts; trust me I know."
I nodded.
"You understand what I'm saying to you, son?"
"Yes, ma'am I understand."
"Now you better go home and get some sleep; you look tired."
"I will. Thanks ma."
I kissed her cheek and went off to find Gina.
Finding Gina at the table with Tracy, I informed her that I was ready to go. She nodded,
then whispered the message to Tracy. I texted Brian, letting him know I was leaving and to
make sure that Tae got home. Brian doesn't drink or smoke, so he was known as the "Official
Designated Driver". As we left, we all said bye to TJ's mother, and I dapped TJ up on my way
out of the gate.
"Hey, come back and visit sometime, bro", he called out jokingly.
"No. you come back and visit sometime."
The night had become a little nippy, and the air was hitting me in my face, making me
more alert and aware. I could hear the night owls hooting, and I could see a star or two twinlding
despite the street lights that always seem to out shine the tiny balls of gas. I wanted to pull Gina
close, but she was practically carrying Tracy.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Can you drive home, or do you want me to take you? Come to think of it, should
probably spend the night with your mother.", Gina suggested as we walked.
"Naw. I'm good. Just drop me off at my car. Besides, it's one in the morning, and I
don't wanna wake my mom. You know she don't like people running in and out of her house at
all hours of the night."
I opened the door for Tracy and helped her in; she was obviously inebriated. Gina and I
rode up front while Tracy nodded out in the back
"Is she going home like that?", I asked Gina, while she drove.
"Naw. She's spending the night with me."
"Well, have fun babysitting."
"I know. I told her not to drink too much. Thanks for keeping her company while I left."
"Anything for you. Besides I felt bad for you; I know how momma can be. She must've
caught you slipping in order to get you to go to the store with her."
Gina laughed; her laugh so sweet it reminded me of a baby's cooing.
"Hell yeah, she caught me slipping. I couldn't come up with an excuse; but I didn't
mind, she's a sweet lady, and she's always been good to me."
"Yeah, she is sweet", I said, leaning back in my seat, and thinking on the advice she had
given me before we left.
"You sure you gonna be alright?", Gina asked as I leaned in her driver side window, in
front of my mother's house.
"I'm more worried about you", I said, smiling.
"Why? I'm good."
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by: Melvin Spencer
"Cause you're going down if you get pulled over with an unconscious white girl in your
backseat."
"Shut up, boy", she said, laughing.
"Now, for real. I'll be alright, Boo. Just get home safely and call me when you get there,
alright?"
She nodded, and I kissed her on her forehead.
"I love you, Boo."
"I love you too", she replied with a smile, and soon I was watching her drive away.
I jumped into my car, opened the glove box, put my pistol and my money in there, and
locked it. When I started the car the radio came on blasting Walca Flocka Flame. I quickly
turned it down and changed the disc. Looking for something a little bit more mellow, I found
Drake's "Take Care" album I put the CD on number five, the title track. Now I was ready to
ride!
As I drove down the Ford Freeway, my mind quickly shifted to tonight's events. What
did Tracy call herself doing, and how could I be so weak and let her take advantage of, no seduce
(being taken advantage of didn't sound right, it sounded weak) me like that. This was new
territory for me. How could I say I love Gina, but allow some so despicable, so deplorable, to
happen. Gina is everything I need and want; so why would I want anyone else? Sure I'm
attracted to Tracy physically, but I've been attracted to other females before (I'm a man), and
never thought twice about pursuing them while I was with Gina. There is something else there,
but I couldn't put my finger on it.
I snapped out of my thoughts just in time to catch my exit, which I'm sure I would've
_
by: Melvin Spencer
missed otherwise Turning onto Greenfield, I put the CD on "Practice", Drakes rendition of
Juvenile's "Back That Ass Up". Singing along to the song, I thought about Tracy's lap dance.
I could see, now, why dudes trick off their money at the strip club, and she didn't even
take off her clothes. Why did I let her get to me so much? Was it just my animalistic instincts
manifesting themselves? In other words, was it the dog in me? Nah, I knew better than that.
Even the dumbest dog wouldn't jeopardize his mammoth bone for a bowl of Kibbles and Bits.
So what is it? Forget it. I'm going to take ma's advice, and not let it weigh me down.
As I pulled up to the house, I noticed that the lights in the living room was on. That
means Tone is still up. Good, maybe I could bounce some things off of him and gain a little
perspective into my current situation. I unlocked the door, walked in, and kick off my shoes at
the door. Looking up, I noticed that Tone had company. It's his on and off girlfriend, Telcia.
She's a old woman, in her late thirties, maybe her early forties; but she looks like a supermodel
(I'm talking Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks, fine) With mocha skin, jet black hair, and chinlcy
eyes, I'm still stunned by her beauty, and I've known her practically my whole life.
"What ya'll up to?", I asked, hanging my jacket in the closet.
"What's popping, lil bro? You look beat down, brody; you good?", Tone asked, sitting
up on the couch.
"Yeah, I'm good. It's just been a crazy night, bro."
"You warm talk about it? Come sit down."
I started over towards the couch to sit down.
"Baby, can you give us a minute?", he asked Tekia.
"Naw, man; let he stay. I want to hear her opinion on this too."
by: Melvin Spencer
I ran down the whole story to them, while they listened attentively. I'm glad they were
allowing me to vent my frustrations, because it was one thirty in the morning, and I wouldn't
have gotten any sleep if I didn't get this off my chest. I told them what Tracy saw me and Gina
doing, how she just stood there and watched, and about what happened tonight at the party with
the lap dance. I also told them how I felt about Gina, and why I wouldn't want to jeopardize our
relationship.
"Damn, lil bro, you got it popping right now."
Tekia gave Tone a sharp look; something like a reprimand, and he regrouped.
"I know what you're going through. I've been in your shoes before", Tone said with a
grin.
"When was the last time you were in his shoes?", Tekia asked.
Tone caught on quickly.
"Long time ago; long, long time ago."
"Yeah, right", Tekia said, rolling her eyes.
"Look, bro, it's as simple as this. She sees that Gina has a good thing and she wants what
Gina has."
Tekia chimed in.
"Your brother is right. Gina has something good and this other girl wants it. You have to
be in control at all times. Assert yourself; show both of them, through your actions, what you
want, and more importantly, who you want. You do want Gina, right?"
"Of course. Gina is where my heart is", I replied.
"Then I'm sure you'll make the right decision", Tone ended. "You cool now, lil bro?"
by: Melvin Spencer
"Yeah, I'm good. Good looking out. Thanks, Tekia", I said.
She bowed slightly, before giving me a smile. She can't be 100% black.
I left them by themselves and went to my room. Closing the door, I got undressed and
turn on my stereo. I put in my Floetry CD, and put my favorite song, "Smile", on repeat. I laid
down and deliberately turned my thoughts to Gina. Gina is my world, and I wouldn't let
anything come between what we're building. I've never loved any girl the way I love her, and
I've never been more committed to anyone. What we have is pure, and I will not let something
as impure as lust come between us. Not now, not ever!
Just as I resolved that in my mind, my phone started vibrating. It's probably Gina now;
calling to let me know she's made it home. I flipped open the phone, and saw that it was Gina,
texting:
"I made it home; love you. "
A smile on my face, and happiness in my heart, I texted her back:
"Love you more. Sweet dreams. ;)"
I sat the phone down, only to have it vibrate again. What now! Reluctantly, I looked at
the screen to see who would be calling me at one forty-five in the morning. It's Brian. I
answered.
"What up doe?"
"Yo, Marv, Tae just got shot!"
shitimittIm
32
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 6
Cold, from the lack of clothing, and tired from the lack of rest, I rushed into the hospital.
The place was packed as usual, with people looking for a remedy for whatever ailments that's
causing an inconvenience in their ever busy lives, some had babies that wouldn't stop wailing,
others waited for impending results that will eventually result in tears. I went straight to the front
desk.
"I'm looking for Lamont Parks. He's a gunshot victim; he just came in. Is he alright? Is
he gonna be okay?"
"Please, calm down, sir", the nurse said; she got this all the time, I'm sure, so she was
probably a professional at handling frantic and panicked people. "Who are you?"
"I'm his brother", I lied, but there was no time for guilt ridden truths, I had to know how
Tae was doing. "Is he okay?"
She searched the database on the computer, I leaned over the desk, maybe too much, to
try and get a look at the screen, hoping that maybe I could get some confirmation on his status.
But my vision was blurred by tears that threatened to fall at any minute, and I couldn't see the
screen clearly. The flood of tears were inevitable, the time of arrival was yet to be determined.
"Lamont Parks is in surgery on the eighth floor. Your mother, and your sister and
brothers are already up there in the waiting room."
"Thank you so much", I said to the nurse before running to the elevators.
When I arrived at the elevators, the doors were opening, and a woman came out crying
uncontrollably. In the back of my mind I wondered who she just lost; a son, a husband, a
brother, sister, mother perhaps. They say the tears of happiness and the tears of grief differs in
by: Melvin Spencer
size and taste. I prayed in the back of the elevator that Tae would be alright, because I wasn't
prepared to cry and taste those tears.
As the elevator doors opened to the eight floor, I saw Kentae's mom pacing back and
forth, with a look of weariness and worry on her face. I exhaled, slowly, and prepared to console
her; a mother in fear of losing her only son. I needed all the strength I could muster.
"Auntie Carol", I called out walking towards her.
As she looked up, tears started to flow, and I knew they were tears of grief. I hugged her,
and held her tightly, trying to get a grip on my own emotions.
"It's going to be alright, auntie. It's gonna be alright. What did the doctors say?"
Spoke through her tears of grief.
"The doctor said he has a fifty-fifty chance of making it; but I don't know, Marvin; I just
don't know."
"Everything is gonna be okay, I promise", I said, knowing that I had no way of being sure
if that would be the case; I guess it's just something we learn to say in times like these, because
the statement is so open ended. "Now, go and sit down next to lay, and try to relax. We'll wait
to see what happens, and we'll get through this together, okay?"
She nodded her head and went to sit down, and I saw her as a kid again, hoping and
wishing, as we seldom allow ourselves to do as we get older. When she sat down next to her
youngest child she was back in adult mode, back in mommy mode, as we're forced to do when
we grow up. I never want to lose that balance when I get older; the ability to feel the emotions of
a child while possessing the strength of a man.
I wondered how Lay felt, if she understood, at the tender age often, what was going on.
•You Win Some... .You Lose Some 34
by: Melvin Spencer
She looked as tired as everyone else.
Antwan and Brian were sitting in a corner next to the vending machines talking in
whispers. They looked up as I approached.
"What's popping, bro? You good?", Brian asked.
"This shit is fucked up. I can't see my nigga with a hole in his chest, man; I just can't", I
said, fighting back tears as I collapsed into an empty chair.
I wanted to stay strong for Lay and Auntie Carol, and most definitely for one of my best
Mends, but I was feeling the weight of the whole situation, sitting in this waiting room, unable to
do anything for Tae. I got up and went to the vending machine. I couldn't stay seated; my mind
wouldn't let me. I brought lay some chips and a orange soda, and I brought Auntie Carol a
Coke.
After giving lay and Auntie Carol they're snacks, I motioned Brian and Twan toward the
restroom, so they could give me the rundown on what happened tonight. I needed to clear this
up, but I didn't want to trouble Lay or Auntie Carol with it, they already had enough on their
plates.
"What the fuck happened after I left?", I asked while washing my hands in the sink; I
wasn't sure why I was washing my hands, but it made me feel calmer, for some odd reason.
Brian spoke, his true emotions masked by anger; when you've known someone as long as
I've known him, you pick up on things like that.
"Tae was dancing with some dude's girl. When the guy confronted him about it, Tae spit
in the guy's face."
That was typical Tae. He has a fuse that's shorter than Spud Webb, and when he feels
35
by: Melvin Spencer
disrespected, he gets disrespectful.
"Who is this cat?", I asked.
"Some lame ass nigga from Westland; TJ said he knows where he be chilling at; over by
Wonderland mall. Anyway, after Tae and ol' boy started scuffling in the basement, everybody
broke it up, an me, Twan, and Tae went outside. I decided we should leave and settle it some
other time. So while we were leaving the nigga came outside with his girl and his boys, talking
shit. Tae rushed him, and snuffed him His boys jumped in and we all started brawling. Tj
came out with his pistol, shot one time in the air, and told niggaz to take the drama somewhere
else; so we broke out."
"So, how the hell did Tae get shot? Did TJ's bullet him r, I asked, eager to get to the
point.
"Let me finish", Brian said. "So we were walking to the car laughing and joking about
what just happened, and I heard somebody yell, 'What up now?'. We turned around and it was
the same nigga. Tae rushed him again. When I started to run after Tae, I saw ol' boy pull heat.
I stopped dead in my tracks, turned and saw Twan was behind me in the car reaching for his
pistol, and when I turned back toward Tae, ol' boy closed his eyes and squeezed.
I saw Tae fall to the ground. It was like everything was moving in slow motion. A car
pulled up and swooped ol' boy and his crew, and then they sped off. Twan shot at them as they
pulled away, but it was too late. When I got to Tae he was coughing up blood and clutching his
chest. We picked him up and put him in the whip. I was gonna take him to Annapolis Hospital,
but I figured, taking the back way, Graden City would be faster."
"Damn, bro. This shit is like a bad dream, and I just war= wake up", I said, shaking my
by: Melvin Spencer
head. "Did the cops come?"
"Yeah. I told them the basics, sparing them any details", Twan said.
"Good, because I don't want the cops catching up to them before I do."
"Let's go back out to the waiting room, bro. this bathroom stinks, and it's giving me a
headache", Brian suggested, scrunching up his face at the smell that hadn't assaulted my nostrils
until he'd mentioned it.
When we got back to the waiting room, lay was asleep in Auntie Carol's lap. I decided to
text Gina and let her know what happened, just because I needed something to keep me from
going crazy, and I know she'd want to know what's going on. She and Tae and pretty close.
She's probably asleep, and I know if I called her she's want to come out her to be with me, to be
here for Tae. As much as I wanted her here with me right now, I decided that texting her would
be the best thing; she'd read it in the morning, no sense in waking her up.
Just as I sent the text the doctor, a short, balding, Indian man, came out to the waiting
room, and we all gathered around to hear the news.
"The surgery was a success", the doctor said, and we all breathed a sigh of relief while he
continued. "The bullet just missed his heart. There is no major damage. Besides small
fragments that we didn't want to risk taking out because they're so close to his heart, he's fine.
Right now he's resting. He won't wake until sometime tomorrow, so you folks should go home
and get some rest."
We all thanked the doctor, and I silently thanked God. It's kind of fimny how God can
have mercy and compassion in situations like these, even on people who don't acknowledge Him
as they should.
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by: Melvin Spencer
They moved Tae to a regular room on the second floor. Auntie Carol decided to stay.
She and Lay slept in a bed next to Tae. I stayed also, and slept in a chair on the other side of his
bed. I told Brian and Twan to go get some rest they had done enough already. I didn't sleep
much through the night, due mostly to the beeping of the monitors, but by eight thirty the next
morning I was wide awake.
Auntie Carol and Lay had gone to the cafeteria to get some breakfast, and to the gift shop
to get some things in preparation for Tae's return from La-La Land. I stepped outside the room
to call my mom, and bring her up to speed. After a five minute lecture on black-on-black
violence, which she gave statistics that are alarmingly high, she relented, and I promised to keep
her updated.
I crept back into the room, the beeping from the machines being a constant reminder of
where I was, and the reality that we face in this world. Shit can happen at any time. We're
casualties in a war that is greater than ourselves, and worth more than the price for human lives.
Expendables. We're all expendable.
Tae was sitting up in his hospital bed, dazed and confused. The drugs had him
disoriented, and the shock from last night had him wide eyed with a crazed look that was
accented with a hint of fear.
"Where the fuck am I?"
His speech was slurred and his voice was strained, but that was nothing compared to the
fear that we all shared for him last night. I was happy to see him awake, alive, and well.
"You're in the hospital. Don't you remember what happened last night?"
His face had a thoughtful expression; he was trying to remember what had befell him the
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night before.
"The last thing I remember is Brian and Twan putting me in the car, and me saying call
my momma. I must've lost consciousness after that cause everything else is a blur."
"Damn, bro. I thought we were gonna lose you", I said truthfully.
"Shit, for a moment I thought I was done."
"I'm glad you pulled through."
"Are you the only one here?", he asked, looking around expecting more people to be here
for him.
"Naw. Yo momma and yo sister went to get something to eat. Brian and Twan went
home after the doctor told us you were going to pull through."
"Why did you stay?"
"I figured, Brian and Twan got you here, I'd make sure you got home safely. Plus, I
didn't want Auntie Carol and Lay to be here by themselves, and, I guess, a part of me wanted to
be here to make sure you really woke up."
"That's good looking out."
His face displayed sincerity and thankfulness. It's good to know someone cares. Even
those who say they don't care really have a space within them that desires someone to care about
them, and desires to have someone to care about.
"I got you, bro, but thank Brian and Twan, they got you here."
Just then Auntie Carol and Lay came in with flowers, balloons, and teddy bears.
"Ya'll didn't leave anything out, did yall?", Tae said as his family entered the room.
Auntie carol ran to her son and I knew that was mu cue to leave. Stepping out of the
by: Melvin Spencer
room I called Brian and Twan to let them know Tae was awake, but before I could.... Gina
called.
"Hey Boo", I answered.
"Hey baby. What happened? Is Lamont okay? Where are yell at?", she asked, all her
questions came frantically and in rapid succession.
"Relax. Tae got shot, but he's okay. He just woke up; were at Garden City hospital."
Of course she made me tell her everything, and I told her everything that I knew.
"Awe damn, that's messed up?",Gina declared. "Do you know who it was?"
"TJ says he knows where they be at, so it'll be taken care of."
"Well, I'm on my way; don't go anywhere, okay?"
She was gone before I could reply. I looked at the phone and smiled; I have a rider in
Gina and I know it. A lucky man I am I called Brian and told him Tae was conscious and doing
well, as far as I could tell. They were on their way also.
Gina arrived at the hospital before Brian and Twan, and Tracy trailed her looking like
shit. Not literal shit, but....shitty. I hugged Gina and kisses her forehead, while Tracy flopped
down in the nearest chair.
"Well, good morning to you too, Captain Morgan", I said to Tracy, laughing to lighten
the mood.
She gave me the fmger and curled up in her seat.
"How is he?", Gina asked.
"He's still drowsy, and a little weak, but he'll be fine. Go on in and see him; he'll be
happy to see you. I'll watch ol' Paul Masson here."
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by: Melvin Spencer
Gina kissed me again, and went in like she was going to the electric chair. I stayed in the
waiting room with Tracy; I needed to laugh a little bit.
"So how do you feel Sir-Drink-A-Lot?", I asked Tracy with a big smile.
I was feeling good this morning, and wanted to do a little joking around, and Tracy
happened to be the perfect target. I knew she was feeling bad after the night before and the
drinks that she'd had. I also wanted to see where her mind was at, after last night.
"Can you not talk so loud? I have a headache the size of your head", she replied, with a
smile that obviously caused her pain.
"I told you my half and half is smooth, but it does the trick."
"Yeah, it did the trick. Did me in."
I laughed again.
"So how is she?", she asked.
"Oh, he's alright. Tae is a strong dude he'll bounce back in no time."
"I'm sorry about what happened. I know ya'll are like brothers."
"Yeah. I don't know what I'd do without him."
"You're a good guy Marvin, and Tae is lucky to have you as a friend."
"I'm just as lucky as he is. You think you can stand up long enough to go in and see
him?"
"You think he would want to see me?"
"Yeah, you're part of the crew now. You see how black people live girl? We live
rough."
She laughed, her smile shining through the hazy hangover, visible in her features.
by: Melvin Spencer
"There's that smile; if you keep that on your face instead of that drunken sailor look, I'm
sure it'll lift his spirits."
Brian and Twan showed up, soon after Tracy and I went into Tae's room. He was happy
to see so many supportive faces, and I was happy for him. I know that there are people out there
who wish they could have the same support system that we all have in each other, but aren't as
fortunate, and I never take that for granted.
We were all gathered around tae's bed laughing and joking, as if he hadn't been shot less
than twenty-four hours, but I guess you have to laugh while you can. Soon the nurse came in to
change his IV. She said that Tae should be resting, and that he needed his sleep to help him heal,
assuring us that she would take good care of him. Everybody said their goodbyes, and filed out
into the waiting room. Before I walked out of the room, Tae called out for me to stay for a
moment, and everyone left us to talk alone.
As the room quickly emptied, the smell of the chlorine that's uses to clean the rooms and
the patient restrooms suddenly became prominent, and the sounds of the machines whirling and
beeping assaulted me again, reminding me that I hadn't slept much and I'd drunk a little too
much last night.
Tae sat up on the bed, his eyes focused on nothing in particular; they just looked like that
had a distance to them, like he was in a world that he'd created for himself, a world that only he
knew about. This is one of my bestfriends, alive and well, not exactly well, but here sure
enough, and I was grateful for that, having not realized how much I've taken that for granted.
"What's poppin', bro?", I asked, standing at his bedside now wanting to feel as near to
him as possible.
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"I could've died, bro."
I didn't respond to the obvious, knowing that he had something that he wanted to get off
his chest. My mother used to tell me that sometimes people need ears more than they need
words. That you can encourage somebody by being there more than you can by saying you're
going to be there.
"You're a good dude, Marv. I appreciate everything, not just last night. We've been
through a lot of shit, and you've always been there for me."
"I know you would do the same for me."
"Word, on the hood, if you ever need anything, bro; I got you."
"I know. I know. Just get your strength back up; get your rest, bro. We owe you dinner",
I said with a smile.
"Oh! I won the numbers game?"
"Yeah, but only by one number."
"Hey, a win is a win", he said with a smile; the smile that I've come to know. "I love
you, man."
"I love you too, bro. Now get some rest."
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 7
MI came out of Tae's room Gina ran up to me. She'd been over on the other side of the,
most empty, waiting room talking on her cellphone. She had a look of concern on her face,
which, on turn, filled me with concern for her. I was dealing with some bad shit already; the last
thing I needed was more bad news.
"Baby, I forgot...", Gina started.
"You forgot what? You ain't pregnant are you?", I asked, my voice just a little too loud
for her liking.
"No, boy; I ain't pregnant", she said in a hostile whisper. "I promised my mom I would
go with her to see my brother up in Grand Rapids today. I would take Tracy home, but it's out
of my way. Will you drop her off at her house for me?"
"Yeah, baby; don't trip. Do what you gotta do. I'll make sure Jose Cuervo gets home
safe and sound", I promised with a smile.
"Thank you so much; I love you, and I'll call you later; I promise", she said kissing me
and hugging Tracy.
"Alright, Boo. Be safe."
"I will."
"You think we could try that getting pregnant thing when you get back?", I called to her
as she was getting on the elevator.
"Not funny", she said as the doors close and she disappeared.
The waiting room felt empty with just Tracy and I, outside of the two couples who had
just gotten off the elevator as Gina was getting on. The place looked more vibrant now that I
You Win Some....You Lose Some
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by: Melvin Spencer
wasn't stressing over whether Tae would come out of this dead or alive. I good see the green
plants hanging from the ceiling and the plants that sat by the two windows facing the east and
west parking lots. Everything looked happy, because I was happy; revitalized because I was
revitalized.
"Where is everybody else?", I asked Tracy.
"I don't know. I guess they left."
"Great! Now I'm stuck with the town drunk."
"Ha Ha. Very funny", she said, grabbing her jacket and her purse from the chair she was
sitting next to.
By the time we pulled out of the parking lot onto Inkster Road, my stomach started to
growl. I realized that I hadn't really eaten since lunchtime, the day before. I could use type of
sustenance, some form of food. And what's the fastest way to get food in this great nation of
ours? That's right!
"Have you ate yet?", I asked Tracy who was going through my CDs.
"No. Not yet. Where's your 'Take Care' CD?"
"None of your business", I said snatching my CD case from her hands, maybe a little too
roughly. "Do I come to your house touching your stuff?"
She sat back and pouted, while I pressed play on the CD player, and Drake started to play
through the stereo. She smiled, and reached to turn the music up.
"How long does it take you to learn a lesson?", I asked, sarcasm dripping from my words.
"Where do you want to eat?
She was looking out the window, eyes on the scenery that's was painted by Mother
by: Melvin Spencer
Nature, and constructed by the hands of man. Garden City is not far from where we live, but to
us it is a different world; a foreign place that didn't allow people like us, people with my skin
tone, and people with Tracy's family's income and her family's diversity, to live there. You can
drive through, and see what you aren't privilege to, you may shop or have dinner, and pump
money into their economy, but don't stay too long, because you're really not welcomed.
"It doesn't matter", she answered, making me wonder what was really on her mind.
"I know the perfect place. A very fancy place, and the service is fast."
A minute or two later, I pulled into the McDonalds drive-thru.
"Yeah, this is very fancy", she said sarcastically.
"Hi; welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?", a pleasant female voice came
through the speaker box.
"Yeah, are you guys still serving breakfast?"
"Yes sir, we are; how can I help you?"
"What do you want, Tracy?"
"Get me whatever you get", Tracy said, her eyes still outside of the window.
"Okay. Give me two steak, egg, and cheese bagels value meals, two pancake platters,
and two extra orange juices, please", I said into the happy meal box with the speaker inside.
"Will that be all for you today, sir?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Your total is $13.28, please pull around."
Tracy pulled he purse from in between the seat, prepared to pay for her meal. Of course,
the gentleman in me couldn't allow her to do so. Danui, that single mother home, and those
by: Melvin Spencer
manners that she taught me.
"Don't worry about it; I got it."
"That's okay, Marvin; I have money", she said, insistence in her voice.
"Well, excuse me, Miss Independent. I tell you what, you get the next one", I
compromised.
"Okay, but I'm gonna hold you to that."
She put her purse on the floor, between her legs, and I retrieved a twenty dollar bill from
the middle console, and handed it to the pretty girl working the drive-thru window. Her voice
was much softer than the mechanical box had led on, as she repeated the total of the meal. She
gave me her best customer service smile, but I noticed how she stole glances at Tracy, who was
now lost in another Drake song. Her look was of disgust, a little tempered, but definitely one of
disgust. I disregarded the young lady's look and collected my food and my change, before
handing the bags of food to Tracy and pulling out of the parking lot.
"Damn. You couldn't wait until you got home to eat?", I asked, as Tracy pulled a
sandwich from the bag and bit into it, over dramatizing her actions.
"Mminmm....this is s00000 g0000d.....I hope my sandwich tastes as good as this one",
she said before wrapping the sandwich up and placing it back in the bag.
"That is your sandwich", I assured her, smiling at her sense of humor, but as serious as a
heart-attack. "And you have to learn how to talk without spitting your food."
She quickly grabbed her mouth, and I laughed.
"You are way too self conscious", I said while turning up the volume on the CD that was
now playing "Marvin's Room", my favorite song on the "Take Care" album, and not because it
by: Melvin Spencer
has my name in it (it may have a little bit to do with the song having my name in it), and I started
to sing along with the song.
"You actually don't sound half bad singing; now talking is another thing, that almost
annoys me."
"You got a lot of jokes, but I'm not quite sure if there's a market for drunken
comediennes", I countered.
"No, seriously. I thought that you were one of those rapper types with no real ear for
good music", Tracy said, biting into a hashbrown from the bag of food that now was covered in
grease stains. You got to love American food.
"You shouldn't be so quick to judge people."
"I wasn't judging, I just assumed...", she started then paused mid-sentence.
"I like singing, but I guess I'm not as confident singing as I am rapping", I admitted.
"But I love all kinds of music; I thought looking through my CD case, you'd notice that."
"All jokes aside", she spoke, her voice more sincere. "You sound decent. Are you
thinking about a career in music?"
"Yeah, maybe; music is what I love to do."
Soon, we were pulling up to her house, which is white with pink trim. It looked like a
house out of a coloring book, except it was on a semi-dilapidated street. She thanked me, and
promised to pay me back for the food. She got out of the car before I could open her door for
her.
She walked up the front walk, her hips swaying in her tennis skirt, leaving me with the
duty of calming myself down. I waited to make sure that she got into the house safely. But after
by: Melvin Spencer
she knocked for a minute or so, and got no answer, she came back to the car.
"Can I use your phone?", she asked, leaning in my passenger side window.
I handed her my phone and waited for her to make her call. She turned he back while she
called, looking into her house that looked empty from where I was sitting. She shifted from one
foot to the other as the phone inside her house rang. Giving up, she gave the phone back to me.
"What's up?"
"No answer. Nobody's here", she said opening the car door.
"So what you gonna do?"
"I don't know."
Her face went pale, and there was a look in her eyes that was close to despair, making me
sympathetic.
"Don't nobody in your family have cellphones?", I asked, before realizing that was a
stupid question; but the question was no stupider than not having a cellphone in this day and age.
"No, my mom is too cheap, and even though I'm eighteen now, she says I'm too young to
have one. Not under her roof. She's a little old fashion."
"A little old fashion" I bet ya'll still have a rotary dial phone", I said, laughing,
hoping to ease her mind.
"You got a lot of jokes."
"I'm fucking with you. I can't leave you here; the police might pick you up for public
intoxication."
She laughed, loosening up a little.
"Is it cool if we go to my house and wait for your people to get back? This doesn't seem
You Win Some....You Lose Some 49
by: Melvin Spencer
like a very safe neighborhood."
"I was just gonna suggest that", she said, putting on her seatbelt.
We pulled up to my house approximately five minutes later, maybe less. I led Tracy
through the backyard, to the backdoor. I opened the door, and Dollars was there to greet us with
excitement in his posture. His tail wagged incessantly, as Tracy bent down to rubbed his head.
He licked her frantically, no doubt smelling the food we were carrying.
"You dog is so cute", she acknowledged as she scratched behind is spotted ears, rubbed
down the length of his white coat that was stained with black spots where and there.
He laid on his back, and she rubbed his belly.
"Attack", I shouted towards my loving pitbull, but he was in ecstasy and Tracy was in
full control.
"I think he's in love", I said walking into the kitchen.
"What's not to love", she retorted.
"He licks his butt, and then licks his fur, so you might want to wash your hands before
you finish your food. I'm gonna take him outside so he can piss and shit."
"You sound a little jealous", she said with a smile
After tending to Dollars, taking a shower, and eating, I got dress. I needed to get to the
mall by one o'clock. Twan was working at Footlocker (mainly as a front and for discounts),and
he's supposed to hold a pair of Easter colored Air Force Ones for me. His shift starts at noon,
and they would probably be sold out soon after; but he promised to put me a pair back, as long as
I got there within a reasonable time.
I hated going to the mall on Saturday's; it's filled with a bunch of teens, hanging out and
You Win Some... .You Lose Some 50 by: Melvin Spencer
fraternizing. I'm not knocking them, because I used to do the same thing, but I just didn't want
to deal with the crowd. Mainly, I didn't want to deal with the girls trying to holla only because
you got bags. Gold diggers!
After I was dressed, I came into the basement, where Tracy was sprawled across the
couch watching MTV. She looked beautiful, laying there, and I had to admit, I was definitely
attracted to her; there was no way I could question that. But I had to pull in the reins, for the
sake of my relationship with Gina.
"Your people still ain't home yet?", I asked, sitting on the Lay-z-boy.
"I was supposed to spend the weekend with Gina, so they probably took off somewhere
for the day. Why? You tryna get rid of me?"
"Not necessarily. I just have plans."
"Is that why you're all dressed up?", she asked, taking in my outfit.
The red, Dickies, short set, the red suede Air Force Ones with the white check, and the
red fitted Detroit Tigers hat was casual for me, and something I just threw on.
by: Melvin Spencer
fraternizing. I'm not knocking them, because I used to do the same thing, but I just didn't want
to deal with the crowd. Mainly, I didn't want to deal with the girls trying to holler, only because
you got bags. Gold diggers!
After I was dressed, I came into the basement, where Tracy was sprawled across the
couch watching MTV. She looked beautiful, lying there, and I had to admit, I was definitely
attracted to her; and there was no way to soften that. But I had to pull in the reins, for the sake of
my relationship with Gina.
"Your people still ain't home yet?", I asked, sitting down on the Lay-z-boy.
"Nope. I was supposed to spend the weekend with Gina, so they probably took off
somewhere for the day. Why? You tryna get rid of me?"
"Not necessarily. I just have plans."
"Is that why you're all dressed up?", she asked, taking in my outfit.
The red Dickies short set, the red suede Air Force Ones with the white check, and the red
Detroit Tigers fitted hat, was casual for me, something I just threw on. Of course, I have to make
sure that I'm looking presentable at all times; never know what kind of opportunity may come
about.
"If you must know, I'm headed to the mall to pick up a few things. Since yo people
aren't back yet, it looks like you'll be tagging along. If you warma try to fix yourself up, the
bathroom is upstairs through the kitchen on the left:'
"Do I look that bad?"
"You look...."
She could tell by my facial expression that I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and she got
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up and made her way to the bathroom.
We arrived at the mall a quarter pass noon. I parked the car behind the bus stop, and
helped Tracy out of the car. The air was crisp, and the day looked ripped for a stroll through the
mall. I could remember when me, Tae, Brian, TJ, and Twan, would put on our best outfits and
come to Fairlane Mall and just walk around hitting on girls, trying to get as many numbers as
possible. That was one of our favorite pastimes during the day, on the weekend; when the sun
went down we'd be somewhere else (Bowling, Skating, Laser Tag, Go-Kart), doing the same
thing.
As Tracy and I walked through the parking lot, towards the entrance, I noticed a lot of
cold stares. I love haters; hate on me all you want. Haters are one of my main sources of
motivation. Seeing a hater mad brings me so much joy, because it lets me know that I'm doing
something right.
The mall was crowded, but that's to be expected on the weekend. Girls were clicked up,
and niggaz were on the prowl. There were a few parents scattered here and there, but for the
most part, the mall was full of the 14 to 24 demographic. The three floors that consist of
Fairlane Mall was packed with potential customers, but mostly just kids hanging out.
It was a little early for me to go and holler at Twan, so I decided to holler at my homie
Monty, who worked at 4Men. Monty is a old school player, who gave me good deals on the
newest gear. A dark skin brother, with curly hair that lent a touch of gray, a style all his own yet
trendy, and more designer frames than I'd ever seen anyone wear.
"What's good, Monty G?", I greeted him walking into the store.
"What's popping, young blood? Hold on, I'll be right with you."
You Win Some... .You lose Some
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by: Melvin Spencer
What'd I tell you? Monty is still a player; at forty plus he's still out here pulling chicks
half his age. I'm not sure if I could be that guy when I got to that age, but I sure was impressed
by Monty's ability to do that so effortlessly. When he was finished "helping" the young ladies,
he came over to where Tracy and I were looking at a pair of Mauri's.
"What's going on young blood?", he greeted me with a dap and a hug
"I see you still got it", I said nodding to the girl that were now exiting the store.
"I ain't never lost it."
"I feel that."
"Who is this with you?", he asked curiously, his eyes showing that he was interested in
Tracy.
"Oh! She's a recovering alcoholic, and I'm her sponsor."
Tracy playfully punched me in the arm and introduced herself.
"How you doing? My name is Tracy, Marvin's just being an asshole-, she introduced
herself, extending her hand.
Monty took her hand into his own and kissed it lightly.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Tracy. I'm Monty", he introduced himself, pronouncing his
name Mon-ty.
"Thank you, Monty. It's nice to meet you also."
He looked towards me, suspiciously.
"A friend of yours?"
"Yes, she is a good friend of mine."
"Nice. Well, what you need, young blood; you know I got them spring colors in; holla at
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ya boy."
After being talked into buying some Easter green Polo shorts, and a white, pink, and
Easter green Polo shirt, I was ready to go get my sneakers. Twan had my stuff ready when I
walked into the crowded Footlocker. He gave me the shoes, which he's already paid for using
his discount
"Good looking out on the shoe", I thanked him, collecting the shoes, while Tracy was off
looking for a pair of her own.
"No problem. Happy Birthday."
"You know my birthday ain't for two more months, right?"
"So don't ask for nothing when it comes up. What you doing with Tracy?"
"Chill, it's not like that. Gina asked me to take her home, but her people aren't there. I
couldn't just leave the girl."
"I ain't tripping, but I would've left her ass If Gina finds out you walking around the
mall with Tracy, she's gonna kill you and her."
"Nigga, don't you think I know that?"
"So what you goin' do, Marv?"
"I don't know; but Gina's out of town, so she won't find out, right?"
"You better hope she doesn't. Well, I gotta get back to work", Twan said, making his
way back to the counter to help a customer.
I found Tracy. I see she had purchased a pair of all white Air Force Ones, reminding me
that it was time for me to purchase a pair of fresh Uptowns; but I resisted, and we collected our
purchases and left the store.
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Tracy tried to call her house again, as we walked among the jewelry venders in the
middle of the mall, but there still was no answer. So we stopped by Bath and Body works, and
bought lotion, soap, body wash, bat salt (not the drug), and only God knows what else. We also
stopped by Victoria's Secret, which I was not comfortable with, but accompanied her for the
sake of preserving my status as a gentleman. She purchased a bra and panties set.
Our last stop was FootAction, where she incurred a Nike tennis skirt outfit, and some
Nike no-show socks. She had what she needed for the day, and I was ready to get out of this
crowded as mall. I can't remember when I'd grown out of the whole hanging at the mall thing,
which is a rite of passage for all teens, but I realized that I would never shop on a Saturday again,
if I can help it.
Finally leaving Fairlane, with too many bags, Tracy and I were the recipients of more
mean mugs and cold stares; just then, my mind flashed back to my mother. This why she didn't
want me riding around with Tracy. No one wants to see a black guy with a white girl; even if it
is innocent. Racism is still prominent in America, and as much as we want to believe that we are
making progress in this country, we still have hate and prejudice wove in the fabric that stitches
us all together. I guess some things will never change, and some people will never open their
minds up far enough to see pass skin tone.
When we got back to the house, Tracy decided to take a bath. I gathered her towels and
gave her privacy as she got cleaned up.
I was in my room cursing myself for not getting a hat to go with this ridiculously bright
outfit. I looked in the full length mirror at myself, and examined my purchase, something that I
had to learn how to start doing before I leave the store. I can't count how much stuff I had to
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take back some time or another because it didn't fit right, or it was the color that I thought it was.
I searched my closet for a hat that would blend with the bright colors, and I only came
across two options: an all white Detroit Tigers fitted hat, or an all white Kangol bucket hat.
These were my options, and I was too used to wearing hats with my outfits to go without one. I
needed help on this one, and hearing Tracy come into the room, while I was still rummaging
through the closet, I decided to ask for her opinion.
"Which hat should I wear with the outfit I bought?", I asked, turning out of the closet,
only to be stopped short.
What I was witnessing left me speechless. Tracy was standing there in nothing but the
red bra and panties she'd just purchased from Victoria's Secret. Her secret was out! I mean
hanging all out!
"What's wrong? Isn't red your favorite color?"
"How'd you know?", I managed, the words stumbling out of my mouth, tripping over
themselves.
"It's obvious. I bet over half of your wardrobe is red."
She walked toward me, as casual as if we'd done this a million times before, and I side
stepped her as she looked into my closet. Even if we had done this a million times before, I'm
quite sure she'd produce the same reaction. I've never seen her with her hair down before; it's
so long and fuzzy, and it touched the small of her back that led down to a shapely bottom.
"I see you got a thong", I stammered. "What's up with the whole thong thing anyway?
Isn't that uncomfortable?"
I tried not to seem too uncomfortable myself, watching her rummage through my clothes,
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and accessories. She was so beautiful, and there's nothing I can do about it.
"What? You don't like it?", she said turning her head around to look at me and my
reaction.
"I mean.. .it's alright; I guess, if that's what you like."
She came over and sat on the bed. Putting on Usher's "Confessions", she went through
the bags of items that she purchased. I thought about how she watched me and Gina on this very
bed, and it made me a little weary. She got up and danced her way to the mirror,
as
the song
"Seduction" played through the speakers. She brushed her hair, and watched me to see if I was
watching her. I had to regain my composure; I had to play hardball.
This is my room and she isn't going to run me out with her nakedness. I'm going to
control the situation, not her. I will not be seduced in my own room.
I took off my shirt, revealing my chiseled chest and abs. I'm done playing checkers; it's
time to play chess. I took off my belt, and when I knew she was watching, I took off my pants. I
stood there in my boxers, still bulging a little bit, but otherwise in control. Three options laid on
the table at this point: First, she could just attack me right now; but no respectable woman would
do that. Secondly, she could stay and wait me out; but the sexual tension is too high and one of
us has to go. Thirdly, she could accept defeat and go to the bathroom and get ready. She
grabbed her outfit and went into the bathroom. I knew it! I'm the man!
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Chapter 8
Tracy and I dressed ourselves, and made our way back to the hospital to check up on Tae.
He was doing a lot better than he was the night before, and once again I had to thank God for His
mercy and his grace, two things that my mother reminded me that He had an abundance of.
Auntie Carol and Lay were still with him, as is to be expected, and they sat around watching the
television that hung from the wall and making light conversation, mostly of the reminiscent kind.
Tae was almost back to his normal self, making jokes, and laughing despite the obvious
pain that he was in. Tracy sat in the window, while I stood at the foot of the hospital bed that
held his recuperating body. I wasn't to drawn into the conversation, just happy to be able to see
Tae laugh and smile, knowing that it was a blessing to do so.
After awhile Tae began to drift off. His medication kicked in and took him to a peace
world where dreams threatened to come true. I kissed Auntie Carol on the cheek and told that I
would be back to visit Tae tomorrow.
As we were leaving the place that carried both life and death inside, Tracy suggested we
go to the movies.
"Naw. I hate the movies", I lied.
I wasn't feeling the whole idea of being out in public right now. I didn't want to see the
mean mugs and cold stares again, from those who couldn't see pass their own beliefs. I was
beginning to understand, if only a little, how hard it is to be an interracial couple, even though
Tracy and I weren't a couple. Who are we as mere mortals to judge someone for who they love?
Can you help who you love?
"How about we rent a movie", I quickly suggested.
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"Oh, I know the perfect one", she said, with a big smile and excitement in her voice.
"And I'll make you dinner, since I owe you."
"Do you know how to cook?"
"Yeah; my cooking is to die for."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
"Whatever, Marvin. You'll love it; you'll see."
We went to the supermarket, so she could shop for the ingredients for whatever she was
going to attempt to concoct. The smell of pies and cakes baking in the bakery section drew me
in as soon as we entered the highly air conditioned store. I picked out a peanut butter crème
cake, before Tracy gathered her essentials.
After the trip to the store, we made our way to one of the few Blockbuster stores left in
the country. Redbox, Netflix, and OnDemand, was making movie rental stores obsolete, but I
still enjoyed the experience of walking into a Blockbuster Video store and picking out a movie;
there's something personal about that experience.
Tracy picked out "The Notebook", an adaptation of the book written by Nicholas Sparks.
I'd seen the movie before, in fact, I'd read the book in literature class, but I pretended I hadn't so
I wouldn't stifle her excitement. Her blues eyes shined as we made our way back to the house,
and I good see genuine happiness in her features, making her even more beautiful.
We changed clothes when we got back to the house, no sense cooking, eating, and sitting
around in fancy clothes. I gave Tracy a white beater, a pair of basketball shorts (that only made
her ass look better), and some Nike flip flops that we obviously too big for her. I changed into
the same.
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Tracy cooked chicken and shrimp alfraedo, which was off the hook, by the way. We ate
the food and sipped some wine that I found in my brother's stash, while we watched the movie in
the basement. The lights were low and the surround sound was blasting, giving the otherwise
damp basement the feel of a real movie theater, only it was a theater for two.
The movie is a long and engaging love story. Beautiful. The story is one of true love and
perseverance. I won't ruin it for those of you who have never seen it by giving out details and
spoilers, but it's a must see; and that's coming from a tougher movie critic than Roger Ebert.
I thought about Gina, as I sat in the Lay-Z-Boy, eating my food and sipping my wine, and
I wondered if I would love her like I do now, when we were old and gray. I wanted that love
conquers all relationship with her, being the romantic that I am. I wanted to be with Gina for the
rest of my life, no matter what may befall us.
I looked over at Tracy; she'd fallen asleep. As I went over to cover her up with a quilt
that my mother made, I wondered if we could be friends. She's cool when we're just kicking it,
but I don't think either one of us could deny the sexual tension between the two of us. One day,
maybe one day soon, we will come to a fork in the road, and we both will have to make a very
hard decision, the ramifications of which can affect us for the rest of our lives. I just don't know
if I'm strong enough to make the right decision. What, exactly, is the right decision?
I continued to watch the movie, in between intervals of watching Tracy sleep. She
looked so peaceful, and beautiful, and I couldn't help but smile to myself as her silent breathing
slowly turned into a snore
As the movie ended, and the credits began to roll, I clicked off the television, and pushed
play on the CD player and lit play, softly, through the sound system. Coltrane's horn played
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melodically, spewing out notes of peace and tranquility, perfect for relaxing. Just as I made my
way to the stairs, Tracy stirred.
"Don't go."
"Oh, I thought you were asleep", I said, going back to her and sitting down on the edge of
the couch.
"Will you hold me, please? Nothing funny; just lay with me", she asked.
I consented , hearing the distress in her voice. She wanted to be held, to feel protected
perhaps, and I was willing to oblige her, at least until she fell asleep. She scooted over, and I got
under the quilt and held her close, allowing her to feel my warmth and my strength, and trying
my hardest not to let her feel anything else. We were friends and I didn't want to ruin that; and
she's Gina's friend, and I didn't want to ruin that either. She scooted back so our bodies were
perfectly aligned with each others.
"Marvin?", she called.
"Yeah, Trace; I'm here."
"Oh, I know. I can feel you."
"Sorry about that. Sometimes he has a mind of his own."
"It's alright; I know how boys are."
"You don't know how hard this is for me."
"Oh, I think I do", she noted, scooting back a little more, and I could feel her smiling,
even though I couldn't see it in the dark. "Anyways, we're friends, right?"
"No doubt."
"And friends love each other, right?"
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"Yeah, I guess so."
"I love you, Marvin."
"I love you to Trace; now go to sleep."
I woke up the next morning still holding Tracy. I didn't plan to stay there all night, but
I'd fallen asleep. I stayed there, holding her, and thought about the prospect of really just being
friends with Tracy. Her beauty, her true beauty, her inner beauty was beginning to shine through
more and more and! was well aware of it, perhaps more than I should be. But I could also see
the hurt; even though I didn't know her story, I could see that she'd been hurt before. As I
contemplated this she spoke, as if she'd known I was laying there awake, thinking about her.
"Your soldier is up again."
"My bad."
"What does he want?"
"I don't know. You know they say our sex drive is higher in the morning than at any
other lime during the day; and it doesn't help that I'm full of piss."
She rolled over so that she was facing me. Her blue eyes beautiful and her features soft
and inviting. She kissed me softly, yet passionately, and I didn't resist; I couldn't resist.
"Good morning, friend."
"Good morning", I responded.
She kissed me again, testing her boundaries, but there were none left. Her kiss was
harder and longer this time. It felt so good; it felt so right. She reached for my manhood, going
into my shorts. I wanted to stop her, but I didn't know how to say it.
"I love you", she whispered between kisses, while stroking my manhood.
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"I love you too."
I knew this was a different love than we'd expressed last night; something more than
either of us could resist or control. I meant it. I loved Tracy and it was expressing itself in the
physical.
I laid back as she stroked my hardness, making it more rigid. I took of the white beater I
gave her to wear and unsnapped her bra. Her D-cups stood at attention, and my mouth found her
nipples. Giving both breast an equal amount of attention, I sucked and teased her nipples with
my tongues.
"Do you love me?", she asked, her breath quickened and her eyes fixed on mine.
I told her I love her without breaking her gaze. She stood up and took off her shorts and
her panties. I took in her body and its perfect shape, as I took off my own shorts and boxers.
She fell to her knees, looked me in my eyes and whispered I love you before taking me, all of
me, into her mouth, making love to me in ways I never knew possible.
As I was about to explode, I grab her and tried to pull her up. She pushed my hand away,
stopped, and looking me in my eyes said, "I love you, and I want everything you have to offer",
and my manhood disappeared into her mouth again, and as I exploded, she took me whole into
her mouth, watching me with eyes that begged me to love her; and I did.
I kissed her gently, making trails from her head to her toes, leaving my mark all over her
canvas. I tasted every inch of her lingering at her sweet spot until she came three times. Her
convulsions were uncontrollable and it was my pleasure to please her. Hearing her moans made
me want to please her forever.
"If you want me to love you I will, Trace. I'll love you", I said, before entering her slit.
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"Pll love you forever if you let me."
She moaned harder and louder as I stroked her slowly and deliberately, I digging her nails
in my back, leaving marks of her own. I sucked on her neck as I c continued to stroke, leaving
more marks.
"I love you so much", she cried as she came again. "Make love to me."
Tracy requested to get on top, and I obliged her. She took the quilt off of the couch and
laid it on the floor. After laying me down, she straddled me, slowly sitting down on my stiff
pole.
"Lay back and let me love you."
She rode me slowly and passionately, watching me watch the perfect view I had of her
beautiful body. She bounced up and down, sitting as far as my member would allow her. I
grabbed her ass, holding on for dear life, as I felt ooze all over me again.
"Don't ever leave me", she cried, and I promised I wouldn't.
She moved faster and harder. I let her ride me as I gripped her bouncing breasts. I lost
all control, and I let her have her way. She stroked hard, going farther down on my shaft each
time. I felt the explosion building as she went even faster.
"I'm gonna cum", I said through clenched teeth.
She smiled.
"I want it all", she said.
I consented.
As I exploded she thrust down with her hips and constricted her walls, and I thrust
upwards to get as deep in her as I possibly could. She sat down on me as I continued to squirt,
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making sure that she got all of me, all of my love.
As she laid on my chest, exhaustion setting in from the love making, I kissed her
forehead, and ran my hands through her thick and fluffy head of hair.
"What does that mean?", she asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"When you kiss someone on the forehead."
I looked at her, wondering the root of her inquiry.
"I've seen you do it to Gina and your mothers. What does it mean to you?"
"It's a kiss of love. A kiss symbolic of keeping my love for them at the forefront of that
person's mind."
"So you meant those things you said, or did you say them in the heat of passion?", she
asked, looking in my eyes for confirmation.
I grabbed her head and kissed her forehead again.
"I meant every word."
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by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 9
After our intimate session of love making, Tracy and I took a long bath together. We
washed each other, getting acquainted with each other's bodies. Her fluffy, sandy blonde hair,
against her pale white skin, made her look like a beautiful wild child, like she should've been
born in the sixties. Her curvy body was perfectly imperfect, and I could see the self-conscious
side surface, but the more that I kissed her imperfections, the more comfortable she became. The
exploration of each other's bodies was like making love all over again, only without the act of
doing so.
When we were clean, Tracy made us a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, toast, and turkey
bacon (she doesn't eat pork; can you believe that?); we washed it all down with milk and orange
juice. We fed each other, experience that euphoric feeling that comes along with new love, yet
in my mind Gina was as present as ever. I wanted to talk to Tracy about how we were going to
handle this situation, but the moment was so great I didn't want to ruin it.
Soon Tracy called her house, and found that her parents were home, and we prepared to
end this stay-cation that had taken us to new levels of pleasure and new levels of deceit. The ride
to her house was mostly silent, with us holding hands, while I drove up Warren Road. We both
were in deep thought, and it seemed that we both were dreading leaving our little world that we'd
created for ourselves, for fear of the reality that awaited us.
When I pulled up to her house, cutting the engine, I realized how much I didn't want to
be alone, and how! didn't want her leave. But the time had come for us to part, if only for a
little while. She gave me a kiss good-bye. "Thank you, Marvin." I licked my lips, savoring her
taste, and gave her a weak smile that told her that I wanted her to stay. She promised to call me,
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before getting out of the car and walking up the walk way to her front door.
I watched as Tracy walked into the small house that looked like it was straight out of a
Disney movie, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I started the car, and headed in the direction
of nowhere, not wanting to go to an empty house where my thoughts and my guilt could torment
me. I had to do something to get my mind off the fact that I'd just betrayed Gina's trust; and
with her bestfriend.
I decided to go to the hospital to visit Tae. After walking pass the sick and dying, I
entered the hospital room to find Tae sitting up in the bed, watching television. His eyes were
glued to the screen that showed an image of a music video. MTV2's "Suckerfree Countdown"
was on, and Wale's "Sabotage" video was on at number eight.
"What up doe?", Tae greeted me, not taking his eyes from the television.
I dapped him up
"Ain't shit, bro. what's up with you?"
"Just sifting here watching some videos. You know that nigga Lloyd got a s-curl in his
head in this video", he said, getting up to go to the disinfected bathroom, that smelled strongly of
ammonia and bleach.
"Maybe he's tryna bring it back; ya'll skin niggaz have that kind of power, you know", I
said jokingly.
"Fuck that! Let that shit die", he said laughing, not even bothering to shut the bathroom
door while he pissed.
I tried not to listen to him pee, looking up at the video that was taking place in a high
school setting. Wale was pursuing another girl, because his girl was full of drama, always giving
by: Melvin Spencer
him a hard time. What was my excuse? Gina was the closest thing I'd come to perfection in a
mate, and yet I'd pursued another girl, even if I didn't mean to. Tae washed his hands and
slowly walked out of the bathroom.
"So where's Tracy?", he asked sitting down on the bed. "It seems like the two of you
were joined at the hip yesterday. Did her people finally make it home?"
"Yeah, they did. I dropped her off this morning."
He picked up the remote control and muted the television that was now showing an
interview with Lil Wayne and Birdman. Tae looked at me anxiously, and I tried to avoid his
gaze by looking at the Pr.
"You dropped her off this morning? So she spent the night at yo house?"
I'd just opened up the wrong can and it was full of worms.
"Yeah. Her people weren't home, what was I supposed to do?"
"There's motels all up and down Michigan Avenue."
"I couldn't do that to her."
"Well, what did you do to her?", he asked, giving me a quizzical look.
Again, I diverted my eyes, giving my attention to the television that was now playing
Rick Ross' "Stay Scheming" video. His eyes pierced the side of my head, and I knew he
wouldn't let me get away without answering the question.
"What?", I asked.
"You hit it, didn't you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You hit it. You nicked Tracy!"
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"Are you crazy? You must be getting that good dope, huh? What they putting in yo
IV?"
"Oh, I may be doped up, but I ain't crazy. You hit Tracy", he persisted.
"Man... .we watched a movie and ate some food, she fell asleep on the couch in the
basement, and I went upsiairs and slept in my bed. This morning we ate breakfast, then I took
her home. That's all."
I could tell Tae didn't believe me, but I could care less. I didn't want anybody knowing
about me and Tracy, not until I figured out what it was she and I had, and if it would work out. I
didn't know what to do, and until I did, Tracy and I weren't anything outside of friends.
"So when are they letting you go?", I asked Tae, trying to change the subject.
"The doctors want me to stay for a couple more days, but I'm gonna check myself out
tomorrow at noon."
"Are you sure you should do that? I mean, if the doctors want you to stay, you should
probably take their advice", I suggested.
"I hate sitting around here doing nothing. I gotta get back to the streets."
"You make it sound like you locked up."
"Shit it feels like it", he said, laying down in the bed and adjusting it to meet his level of
comfort. "I know ya'll got something planned for yo boy, to celebrate my homecoming."
"Yeah, we'll probably do something. Besides, we owe you for the numbers game you
won Friday."
"I love to celebrate my victories", he said, with an air of cockiness.
"Too bad nobody will ever break my record."
by: Melvin Spencer
I held the record between us for the most numbers in a single night. I was really feeling
myself that night. I pulled twenty-five numbers, two years ago, at the International Auto Show
downtown. It was a sight to see; beautiful cars and beautiful girls.
"Man, half of those girls were busted, and you know it", Tae said.
"Hey, a win is a win", I countered, smiling.
After a while of shooting the breeze, Tae's mom showed up, and, saying my good-byes, I
let them have their family time. I still didn't want to go back to the house, so I decided to pay TJ
a visit. I wanted to get his side of the story on what happened that night, and I wanted to see how
much more he knew about this cat who shot Tae.
As I pulled up to his house and got out of the car, TJ's cousins Tasha and her sister
Cherish were coming out of the front door. Cherish came up to me and gave me a hug. It had
been a while since I'd seen her, being that school was in and I hadn't had the chance to get out
this way that much.
Cherish is a dark skin girl with cute dimples and a deep smile. A cute and shy girl, but
she speaks her mind when it comes time to. She has one of the most beautiful personalities I've
ever encountered; she's my little homie.
"Hey, Cherish. Good to see you too", I greeted her as she held on to me. "Has it been
that long?"
"It seems like forever", she responded, her voice like silk.
"I'll tell you what, here's my number", I pulled out a card from my pocket with my cell
phone number on it. "The next time you come over here to visit, call me and I'll take you and
whoever you wain bring, bowling, on me. We can test your skills out; and I'm not going to
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take it easy on you. Cool?"
"Cool", she responded, looking at the card with my number on it, that I usually gave out
to my clientele.
"Is she the only one you see?", Tasha said walking up with her arms folded.
"What's up Tasha? How you doing?"
Tasha. Light skinned, fine, and she knew it. That's one of the things that I disliked about
her. She has a nice enough personality, but if she relied on her personality as much as she relied
on her looks, she would get and keep a good man.
"I'd be better if you stopped front on me", she said, unfolding her arms and moving her
hands to her small hips that went out to a small but bubble bottom. Man was she sexy!
"Girl, ain't nobody fronting."
"So, can I use that number too?", she asked, pointing to the card that was still in
Cherish's hand.
"You know what, Tasha? It's your world, and you can do what you want to. Where's
TJ at?"
"He's in the basement", she said, her attitude shining through now.
"Bye Cherish; and remember, call me next time you're here."
"Bye, Marv", Cherish called as I walked into the house.
Momma Rose was in the kitchen cooking Sunday dinner when I walked in and kissed her
forehead. She was wearing a long floral gown that reminded me of Tyler Perry's character,
Madea.
"What you cooking, ma?", I asked.
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"A little Sunday dinner; are you staying?", she asked as she put her famous cornbread in
the oven.
She made a lot of good food; chicken, greens, black eyed peas, but by far, her greatest
culinary creation is her corn bread. Momma Rose made the best cornbread I've ever tasted. It's
like the scene from the movie "Life" whenever Momma Rose made her cornbread; fights always
ensued.
"No; I can't. I have to go and see my mother; I just have to talk to you son real quick."
"Oh, he's in the basement. Go on down, he's probably playing that game system."
"See you later, ma", I said, before descending the stairs.
"Bye, baby."
When I came downstairs, TJ was sitting on the couch with his nephew, Lil Mike, playing
NBA 2K and smoking some good weed, at least it smelled that way. The basement looked
different than it did the night of the party, and I cringed a little when I looked over at the corner
where Tracy had first seduced me with the Infamous House Party Lap Dance.
"What's popping, my gee?", I said, sitting down on the couch.
"Shit, just smashing Lil Mike in the 2K. Why? You want some of this too?"
"Naw, I'm past that novice level. You fucking with a pro. Plus I need to holla at t you
about that shit that happened Friday."
"Ah, yeah; that shit was crazy! You wanna hit this shit? It's that Kush", TJ offered me
the blunt.
"I'm good, but what happened again?"
"Oh yeah. Tae was dancing with Tina, a bad ass Rican bitch. She fucks with this cat
by: Melvin Spencer
named Malcolm, from Westland. She was giving Tae a lap dance in the middle of the floor. Tae
was laid back, sipping Henny from the bottle, watching this bad ass chick do her thang;
everybody was watching this chick. Malcolm came in from outside, and when he saw all the
commotion he noticed it was Tina, his girl, attracting all the attention.
"Malcolm ran over to the floor on some Captain Save Em type shit, and pulled her away
from Tae. When Tae stood up, he told Malcolm that that was some sucka shit he just pulled.
They exchanged words, and Tae took a sip of Henny and spit it in Malcolm's face. They started
scuffling, and we broke that shit up. Brian and Twan pushed Tae upstairs and into the backyard
to cool off.
"Malcolm stayed downstairs talking slit to Tina; I mean, he called her everything but a
child of God. I guess they decided to leave, cause they went up the stairs. I was over here on the
couch, with Lil Mike, Brandon, and Ant when I saw everybody rushing upstairs towards the back
door.
"I heard momma call my name, and I knew something was going down. I grabbed my
burner from under the couch and pushed my way through the crowd to get outside. I had to get
the shit under control; I didn't want slit going down at my mom's house. When I got outside, I
saw Tae, Twan, and Brian fighting with Malcolm and his boys. I let one go in the air, and
everybody relaxed. I told them to take that shit somewhere else; everything else, I heard from
the streets."
"What are the streets saying?", I asked, just to see if he got a different story than the one I
got.
"People were saying that Malcolm caught Tae, Twan, and Brian slipping, going to their
car. They said the tried to rush Malcolm, and Malcolm drew down on them and banged Tae in
the chest. After that they peeled off. People were saying they heard some more shots after that,
but they couldn't tell where they came from. That's all I heard, bro."
"So, the boy, Malcolm, you know where he be at?", I asked.
"Yeah. They be chilling over these bitches crib. I think it's Tina's house as a matter of
fact. They live in some apartments across the street from Wonderland mall."
"Good looking, bro. I'ma get up out of here."
"Yo, if you need anything let me know man. I don't like that bitch ass nigga anyway",
TJ said while relighting the blunt that went out while he was telling me the story.
"Alright, I'ma hit you up later. I might come through and smash you in that 2K."
TJ smiled as he inhaled the weed smoke.
"Yeah, right. If you say so, Marv. Oh yeah! Tiffany asked about you."
"Oh yeah! Is she still in Alabama?"
"Naw. She came back yesterday."
"Tell her I said what up doe, alright?"
"Alright, my gee; you be cool", TJ said, and I walked up the stairs.
Tiffany is TJ's niece (Lil Mike's older sister). I've known her since pre-school, in fact, I
think my mother has an old class picture with her in it. I hadn't seen her in three years, since she
moved to Alabama. It would be nice to see her again. Pulling me from my nostalgic moment,
my phone vibrated as I got into the car, where I left it on the charger. I answered it.
"What up doe?"
"Hey baby", Gina's sweet voice greeted me from the other end, like a Wal-Mart greeter
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that loved their job way too much.
"Well, it's good to hear that you're alright. I thought you were going to call me when
you got to Grand Rapid? Isn't that what you told me?", I asked with a hint of anger in my voice,
but I couldn't figure out why?
Normally it wouldn't bother me that she hadn't called, but this time it did. Maybe
because her leaving me left the door open for me to spend more time with Tracy than necessary,
resulting in me committing a act of betrayal against her. Yet, it wasn't her fault; I'm the one
who flicked up, and I wasn't angry with Gina, I was angry with myself; her calling just reminded
me of that fact.
"I'm sorry, baby. I hadn't seen my brother in so long. We started having fun and I lost
track of time. I felt so bad and so guilty when I woke up this morning, I decided to wait until I
got back in town to let you know I was home."
"What kind of logic is that, Gina? Well, while you were having fun I had to babysit your
Mend all day. When I went to drop her off, nobody was home; as a matter of fact, they stayed
gone the whole night, so The Drunken Monkey slept on the couch in the basement."
"Yeah, I know. She told me everything."
My heart skipped a beat. My palms became sweaty instantly, and my nerves... .boy was I
nervous. What did she mean by everything. Everything that I just told her, or did she mean
EVERYTHING?!!!
"Oh did she? When did you talk to her?", I asked, trying to swallow back my fear, but
not really succeeding.
"I called her just before I called you. She said you were the perfect gentleman, and I
expected nothing less from you. She only wished Twan was more like you. She said he spent
practically the whole day tryna get in her pants. That boy know he need to stop."
I breathed a sigh of relief. Tracy could've flicked up everything between me and Gina,
but she didn't as much as I wanted things to go back to normal, I knew they wouldn't. what
Tracy had done made me love her even more. She did what she had to do to protect me and
now, more than ever, I wanted to do the same for her.
"So do you forgive me, baby?", Gina asked.
"I don't know if I can ever forgive you for this", I said, sarcasm mingling with my relief.
"I'll tell you what", she started. "Meet me at your house in thirty minutes, and I'll try my
best to persuade you to forgive me."
"Are you tryna bribe me, Gina Weights?"
"Maybe."
"Well, you better make it an hour cause I'm going to stop by my momma's while I'm out
here in Inkster."
"That's even better; it'll give me time to run to the store. You need anything while I'm
there?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. Pick me up two Red Bulls."
"I'd better get a six pack, because I got a lot of apologizing to do, and you're going to
need all the energy you can get", she said seductively.
I could still feel the guilt from what happened only hours ago, but knowing that I still had
Gina in my life far outweighed the guilty feeling that was in the pit of my stomach. I would
never want to hurt Gina, and if she found out about what happened between Tracy and I, she'd
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be devastated. I'm not sure I can live with the fact that I'd broken her heart.
"We'll see. I love you, Boo."
"I love you too, daddy."
I ended the call feeling a little lighter, headed to my mother's house.
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Chapter 10
My mom wasn't home, she was probably at church this Easter Sunday, so I had a little
time to kill. I sat in her driveway, my car idling, and I watched as kids searched their yards for
Easter eggs and other prizes. I thought back to when I used to do that. Tone was too old for it,
but he would make it a point help me look for the eggs and cash that my mother had hidden. It's
amazing how fast you grow up; sometimes I wish I could go back. Sometimes I wished I didn't
have to see the world as it is, that I could see it through the innocence of the younger me.
Soon I left my mother's driveway, deciding to stop by target on my way to the crib, to see
if they had the new Dru Hill CD. When I got to the music section of the store, just before the
electronics, and right beside the gaming systems, I listened to a couple of tracks on the new
Usher joint. Eventually, I decided to get Wale's "Attention Deficit" and his new one
"Ambition". I also got Trey Songz "Ready" for the third time; for some reason that CD always
comes up missing from my car.
I called Tracy while I continued to browse and waste time before meeting Gina. I was
curious to see if her number was even in my call log, or if she played me yesterday. I wanted a
reason not to enter this physical, mental, emotional, and sometimes spiritual (her sex made me
cry out to God) contract with Gina's bestfriend, and her not really calling home to see if her
parents were there would be a good out.
After scrolling down my call log, I found her number. It was in there five times,
confirming that she'd tried to call home. She must've put her name in there too and saved it. I
called the number and after three rings, a little boy picked up.
"Hello", he said into the phone, his voice sounding a lot like one of the chipmunks from
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the cartoon.
"Hello, may I speak to Tracy?"
"Who's calling?"
"Marvin."
"Hold on."
After a half a minute or so, she came to the phone, her voice happy and gleeful, as if she
was expecting my call.
"Hey, baby", she said, making me cringe a little; the word baby sounded so comfortable
on her lips.
"Why are you so happy?", I asked while looking at some DVD's.
"I'm just happy you called. I thought I was gonna have to call you first."
"I just wanted to check on you and see where your head is at."
"My mind is on you."
"I wax= thank you for what you did, and let you know I'm proud of you for handling
that situation like a lady."
"Listen, Marv. I'm going to be straight up with you. I know what you have with Gina. I
see the way you interact with her, and I can tell that you love her. All I ask is that you love me,
and I'll do whatever you need me to do, and be whoever you need me to be, and you won't ever
have to ask me to; even if that means being second."
I was processing her words, while I came across some teddy bears. I thought about
getting one for Gina, and the way Tracy was holding it down, I better get one for her too. I
wanted to give her what she needed, and she wanted to do the same for me. How could I deny
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her the love she was seeking? Who am Ito do such a thing?
"Look, Trace; be who you are, that's what I love about you. I told you I love you and I
mean that. I don't want you to be second to any one; I want Gina on my right and you on my
left, as her equal. How does that sound?"
"I love you so much, baby", she expressed, her voice bubbling with excitement.
"I'll take that as a yes", I said as I walked to the checkout line with the bears and the
CDs.
"Where are you right now?"
"I'm at Target, spending money on shit I don't need. Why?"
"I'm just curious as to what you were doing today?"
"Gina's supposed to come over, and we'll probably go to my mother's for Sunday
dinner."
"Will you call me before you call it a night?"
"Of course, I will. I will even sing you to sleep."
"I'm cool on the singing; don't want to have any nightmares", she joked.
I smiled on the other side of the phone; Tracy's sense of humor added another level to her
beautiful personality. I was good to be with someone who could make me laugh, and make me
smile.
"I don't think anything I do for, or to you will result in a nightmarish experience, Trace.
I'm a dream come true."
"You have no idea", she said, almost to herself. "Alright, I'ma let you go."
"Alright."
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There was an pause, an awkward pause. The kind you experienced back in middle school
when you talk to a girl for the first time on the telephone (back when you still had a home phone;
when you didn't use cell phones as an all-purpose phone), and you didn't know quite how to end
the call. I didn't know if I should say good bye, talk to you later; I wanted to say I love you, but
the words couldn't find their way through my vocal cords into my mouth.
"I love you, Marvin", she said, finally, making it easier for me to follow her example.
"I love you too, Trace."
"Forever?"
"Forever and a day", I confirmed, not wanting to hesitate again. "Bye, Trace."
As I ended the call, collected my purchases, and headed for the exit, I thought about a
forever with Tracy that will have to include Gina, and I wondered if that was possible. Forever
is a long time, now that I think about it. The span of forever goes far beyond a lifetime, and I'm
curious to know if love can outlast life itself?
My thoughts had me drifting as I walked through the gigantic parking lot, and I almost
didn't see a car coming out of a parking spot, with the capacity to make a pancake out of me. I
stop at the rear bumper of the Dodge something as the driver slammed on his brakes.
"You moron; watch where you're going", the driver yelled as I continued to my car, and I
kindly flipped him off. American road rage, you got to love it.
I put the bear that I bought for Tracy in the trunk of the car when I got to it, and left the
other one in the bag with the CDs. As I got in the car and started it up, I pulled out Wale's
"Ambition", and put it into the system. As I pulled onto the Ford freeway, I thought of my
conversation with Tracy.
You Win Some. ...You Lose Some 81
by: Melvin Spencer
I wondered why she was so desperate for love? I mean, it was nothing out of the
ordinary in the realm of searching as all humans do. But why did she want it from me? There
are a lot of risks that come along with loving me, and I'm sure she's well aware of that. I know
that there are plenty of guys out there that would love to be with Tracy, and I know of at least
two. So what is it about me? I don't understand it. Yet, when I look into her eyes, it's almost as
if she looks at me as if I'm some kind of pavilion, some kind of shelter for her fears, for her pain,
for the lack of love in her life; like she wants, or needs me to fill a void in her life.
The question is can I fill that void sufficiently enough to bring her true happiness, or am
I some temporary fix until she could find a someone else to heal her heart? I'd be whatever she
needed me to be. I want to see her happy and I'll do my best to provide that for her.
Although I was engrossed in my thoughts, I made home without incident, or accident.
Tone, who'd been out all night, was home, because his car was parked out front by the curb. I
parked my car behind his Lincoln LS, and I exited my vehicle, he was coming out of the house.
I didn't see Gina's mother's car, so I'd gathered that she hadn't arrived yet.
"Yo, bro, what the fuck happened in the basement?",Tone asked with a hint of
annoyance in his tone (no pun intended).
"Oh, that's my bad. Tracy spent the night last night....."
"What'd she do, bring hurricane Katrina with her? It's shit everywhere?", he interrupted
me. I was guilty and my big brother, the only father I'd ever know, knew it because he knew
me. "I guess you made your decision, huh?" I couldn't speak. I was like a kid again. "Go clean
that shit up, bro. I gotta make this drop, then I'm going to see momma. You coming out there
for dinner?"
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"Yeah, I'll be out there. I already stopped by once but she wasn't there. I think she's still
in church. Gina's coming over in a few minutes, so she'll probably be with me", I explained.
He just looked at me, a fatherly look mingled with the look of a brother and a concerned
Mend, and he shook his head, as if he felt sorry for me, then I got into his car and disappeared
down the street.
Who was he to judge me, I thought to myself while I cleaned up the basement, rather
angrily. All the women I've seen him run through; I mean good women that any man with good
sense would settle down and marry. I couldn't understand why he was so upset? He's the
biggest player I know, but I've never called him out for on his bullshit because he's my brother,
and I love him no matter what he does. All I wanted was the same support. I wasn't looking for
praise, I just wanted support.
The basement was pretty mess up! I thought back to what me and Tracy had done just
hours ago. What we did was unbelievable; like an out of body experience. It was like our souls
were connected; I felt her spirit connect with mine. There was something metaphysical about
our physical experience. The thing that troubled me the most was I have never experienced that
with Gina; not that I could remember. Gina and I bonded mentally and emotionally, but never
physically like Tracy and I had experienced. As I thought about this the door bell sounded.
I grabbed the teddy bear that I'd bought for Gina and put in behind me back as I
approached the door. When I unlocked the door, without bothering to ask who it was, someone
pushed it open from the other side with a tremendous amount of force, enough to make me fall
backwards to the floor. Four people rushed pass me with ski-masks on, and a fifth stood over
me, hit me with the butt of the gun he was holding.
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"If you move, I'll blow your head clean off your shoulders. Now get in the room", the
masked gunman instructed me.
I complied, reluctantly.
I watched as they went through the house, although it hurt my eyes to look. The blow to
the head was messing with my vision, leading me to believe I may have suffered a mild
concussion. This has to be someone we know, because they're going straight for the stash spots:
the weed in the basement, the money if the freezer, the guns in the closets, and the guns and
money upstairs. I tried to walk slowly, and watch everything as I was being forced into my
room. I couldn't let it go down like this, I had to do something.
As I got to the doorway of the bedroom, I turned around and grabbed the gunman's
weapon. After a brief struggle, he got the better of me and my concussed head, and he kicked
me in my stomach hard as shit. I fell into the wall. The next, and the last thing I saw was a flash
of light and a felt a piercing pain before everything went blank.
When that light flashed, my whole life flashed before my eyes. I guess it's true what they
say. I saw my maternal mother walking away from me; I saw my adoptive mom with her hands
stretched out towards the son that was no her own; I saw Auntie Carol crying again; I saw TJ's
mom cooking her cornbread and telling me to take it easy; I saw my brother shaking his head as
tears flowed down his face; I saw my hotnies pouring out liquor; I saw Gina walking away from
me in the school hallway, crying as she looked back; and I saw Tracy lying on top of my lifeless
body, refusing to let go. What had I done to deserve this?
After the flash of memories, I was left with only my thoughts. I tried to be a good
person; I wasn't always perfect, but I didn't see myself as inherently bad. I'd lived the best way
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I knew how. Lord knows I've tried! Where is God now? Would He let me die do prematurely?
Would another young life be snatched away before it had the chance to reach its full potential? I
needed answers, but all I got was silence; no one calling me towards a light, yet there'd no one
call me towards the darkness either. Why did this happen to me? Why would God allow this to
happen to me? What was the lesson in death? What was there to be learned by dying? I don't
want to die. I don't want to diemumm
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 11
My breathing was quick and rapid, as if I had no control over my own faculties, and I
could hear the heart monitors and other machines beeping; a way to help me recognize where I
was. I was in a hospital. I remember these sounds from when I came to visit Tae. Now I wasn't
visiting, I am a patient. But why? Then it all came back to me; the guys bursting into the house,
them ransacking the place, me struggling with one for his weapon, and finally the shot.
The memories played like a movie inside of my head; a bloody movie with more actions
than I was accustomed to, and a victim that I knew intimately. The movie keep replaying as I
laid there with my eyes closed, not wanting to see the damage that was done during that horrific
scene.
"Who's here?", I finally asked, my eyes still closed. I couldn't bear to see the pain that
I'd caused written on the faces of people who cared about me. I heard my mother's voice.
"I'm here baby."
"How you feel, lil bro?", my brother's voice followed in succession.
"Where's Gina? Is she alright?", I found a way to say before I almost coughed up a lung.
It hurt to cough; it felt like someone was scrubbing my throat with a Brillo pad.
"Gina's outside in the waiting room. She's a little shook up, but she's gotten better as the
days have gone along", my mother said, now at my bedside.
"How long have I been out?", I asked out of curiosity.
"About six day, bro", my brother said as I finally opened my eyes to face the carnage that
I'd created.
The door opened and a female doctor walked into the room with confidence in her
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strides and a smile on her face.
"So how are you feeling, Marvin?", she asked, walking over to me and shining a light in
my eyes.
"I feel how I look, I imagine."
"Oh, you don't look half bad, considering", she said, her smile a little brighter, issuing
it's a dose of medicine all its own.
The doctor stood over me. Her comforting smile against her dark skin, with big brown
eyes, gave me a little hope for some reason. I felt like I was in good hands. Even though she
looked kind of young for a doctor, I felt like she understood my needs.
"A black doctor! Thank you Jesus", I said aloud, jokingly.
"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better, Mr. Williams. Do you feel any pain?"
"Yeah, in my neck and I have a huge headache", I answered.
"No pain in your legs?"
"No."
"Can you feel your legs at all, Marvin?"
"Yeah, I can feel them, see?", I assured her, lifting both legs slightly.
"Good. So there's no spinal damage. Do you remember what happened to you?", she
asked checking my vitals.
"I fell."
"You fell?", she repeated questioningly, giving me a side-glance.
"Yeah, I fell.....hard."
My brother looked at me and half-laughing, half-smiling
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"Mr. Williams, you were shot in the head and the neck." The was agitation in her voice
as she continued on. "You barely made it. If it hadn't been for your girlfriend finding you when
she did, you probably wouldn't be here with us today."
So, Gina found me.
"Get some rest young man and I'll be back to check on you a little later", the doctor said
before walking out of the room.
I closed my eyes and thanked God for His mercy and for Gina; if it hadn't been for those
two I'd be dead right now. The doctor must have put a sedative in my IV, because as I was
saying my prayer, I slipped into a deep sleep.
I had a nightmare about the robbery. I saw everything happen again, except this time
Gina was there also. The masked men, who I tried hard to make out, tied us both up and they all
took turns raping Gina, and they made me watch, helplessly. I couldn't do anything for her and
it was killing me, literally; my insides were pouring from my mouth. The more she screamed for
me, the more I folded into myself
When all of them had their turn, one turned to me and said, in a deep voice that had a
mechanical feel to it, "say good-bye" and shot her in the head. I looked on while my insides
poured from within me.
"Look what you've done", the mechanical voice said to me, looking at me through red
eyes that looked as if he were a spawn of Satan. They all stood there laughing, while I slowly
died from heartache. I wanted to die in that moment; I no longer wanted to exist, and I was
waiting for my pain to swallow me up into nothingness. Then I woke up.
I struggled against the tubes and needles that had me tethered to the machines that were
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monitoring my heart rate, and helping me get oxygen to my lungs and my brain. I was covered
in sweat. The pain in my neck and the pain in my head came rushing back like a tidal wave to
the shores of a deserted beach. There was a sun assisted light coming through the window of the
sterile room, indicating that it was daytime; most likely morning, judging by the way the sun rays
came off The sun is always brightest in the morning, perhaps it's God sign for the hopefulness
of a new day. Yet, hopeful was the last emotion that I could register on my hopeful meter.
The room was empty, making me strikingly aware of my loneliness. The physical pain
and the pain from walcing up alone in the overly white room, prompted me to push the call
button that laid on my bedside, and few moments later a nurse came in with a customer service
smile on her face; one that said she was happy to have a job, but not particularly happy to be
here.
"Well, good morning. How are you feeling?", she asked cheerfully, opening the curtains
to let the sunshine in, which I shielded my eyes from. "The light helps the healing process."
"I feel horrible! Can you do something about this pain?"
"Sure can; let me go and check your chart to see what the doctor prescribed."
"And nurse", I called before she exited the room. "Are any of my family members out
there in the waiting room?"
"I believe so. I'll let them know you're asking for them."
"Thank you."
The nurse came back minutes later, with two horse pills. I popped them without
question; whatever it took to get rid of this pain, I was all for it. She gave me a shot of water to
wash the pills down, but it wasn't enough, it still hurt me to swallow them.
by: Melvin Spencer
"There's a girl out there, but I don't know if she's here for you. White, with fuzzy
hair"
"Yeah, she's a friend; send her in please", I said graciously.
Tracy walked into the room looking run down. I hated to see her this way, so
emotionally drained, in so much pain, especially pain that I caused. She stood at the door
looking at me with eyes that I almost didn't recognize; they were the same amazing blue, but the
blue was coupled with a hue of hurt that dulled them. It must've hurt her to see me like this,
hooked up to all these machines.
"Hi, Trace."
She just looked at me, with a blank look that made me wonder if she was even there
behind those blank eyes. There was a void in her features, something that she's lost during this
ordeal, and I knew it was my fault. She didn't speak. She just kept looking from me to the
machines and back.
"Can I have a hug? I won't bite you, I promise", I said with an encouraging smile, and
suddenly, snapping out of her trance, she began to walk towards me, making me aware of her
puffy and red eyes. "You look terrible! You probably look worse than I do right now", I said,
trying to make her smile.
She fatally said spoke, but her eyes went to the floor instead of looking at me or the
whirling machines that I was attached to.
"I know. I've been crying for a week straight."
"Give me a hug."
"I don't warm mess anything up", she admitted, now looking at the tubes in my arms.
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"Well, can I have a kiss, since I can't hold you?"
Again she looked at all the machines and all the needles and tubes, clearly afraid of
coming too close. But she mustered up the fortitude to come near the bed, lean over, and kiss my
forehead. Her kiss was soft and expressive, telling me all that I needed to know.
"I love you too, Trace."
Tears started to fall from her eyes, and I felt like a piece of shit all over again.
"Don't cry, Trace. Everything is going to be alright. I'm fine; I'll be out of here in no
time."
I reached for her hand, but she pulled away.
"I don't know if I can live without you", she said through her river of tears.
"Baby, you don't have to; I'm not going anywhere. I promise, everything will be okay. I
need you to be strong for me, Trace; and I need you to believe in me. Can I depend on you to
believe in me?", I asked, not knowing exactly what I was saying, but knowing that I had to,
somehow, inspire her to keep going.
"Yeah, Marvin, I believe in you", she said wiping her tears on the sleeve of her cardigan.
I needed Tracy. I needed her strength, her love, her faith in me. I had to do something to
reciprocate; something to let her know that I needed her, and that I appreciated her and all that
she is.
"Listen, Trace. I need you to do me a favor; can I count on you?", I asked her.
"Yes, Marvin; you can count on me."
"I need you to get the keys to my car from my brother; tell him I sent you. Then go and
get the money and my gun out of the glove box; it should be a little over seven hundred dollars.
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Then look in my CD case under the driver seat, find Ne-yo's 'Year of the Gentleman', it should
have a thousand dollars behind the CD. Also, Chris Brown's T.A.M.E' should have thirteen
hundred behind it. Can you handle that for me?"
"Yeah, I can handle that", she said, trying to sound assuring, even through her tears.
The recovering of the money wasn't important; the point of the mission was to build trust
between Tracy and I on all levels, because I have plans when I'm free from these machines and
this place, and I'm going to need Tracy to be down for whatever may come our way. If I need
her to do something, I have to know that I can trust her to complete the task satisfactorily.
"That's three thousand dollars. Give two to my brother and keep the other thousand."
"Okay, baby; what you want me to do with the other thousand?", she asked, looking
confused.
"What are my instructions?"
"You said, give two to your brother and keep the other thousand", she recited.
"Okay! Oh, and look in the trunk, I have a little surprise for you. You'll like it."
She kissed my forehead again, with the gentleness of a mother holding her firstborn. She
looked so beautiful. Her eyes appeared to be shining with the tears that still lingered in them, but
her smile was one of hope and joy, and it was my pleasure to please her.
"I love you so much, Marvin."
"Forever?"
"And a day", she said, wiping away the remnants of tears. "Get some rest", she
instructed, and I was eager to obliged her now that I was feel the effects of the medicine.
"Go and handle that for me, and come see me tomorrow", I said, yawning.
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This would be a good test for Tracy. I had some pretty big things planned for when I
came home, and she will be a critical part of the whole operation. Tone told me they didn't find
the safes. We both kept safes in a hole in the floor of the basement; Dollars extra dog house sat
on top of it. I had a little over a hundred stacks in mine, from licks and from flips, and half of it
was about to go back to the streets. TJ told Brian that Malcolm was the man in Westland, and
we should make our plans for retaliation a sweet lick at the same time.
Tone also told me he got word on the cats who robbed us and left me for dead. Some
Schoolcraft niggaz; but there's still a Judas in one of our camps, and as much as I hated to do it,
they had to be dealt with accordingly. Some say a brush with death humbles you; I can't say the
same. Mine created a monster.
I'd slept most of the day away, and when I woke up Gina was sitting by the window. She
looked better than Tracy; not in the physical sense, but in the way she was handle the whole
situation. She looked optimistic and she looked more enthusiastic about seeing me. Her smile
was inviting, and the tears that flowed were tears of joy.
"Hey, baby", she said, practically running to my side and checking everything that Tracy
was afraid to touch; that included checking under my gown.
"Hey, girl! Don't be looking at my junk."
"Correction. It's mine, it's not junk, and you act like I've never seen it before."
I couldn't refute that.
"So how do you feel, baby?", she asked, straightening up my pillows.
"I feel lucky to have you in my life. I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."
"Stop. I'm trying to stop crying and you're not helping. I'm just glad I got there when I
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did. You know they were pulling off as I was pulling up? When I saw the front door wide open,
I knew something was wrong. When I found you, you were covered in blood, and your eyes
were rolling in the back of your head. I didn't think I'd be able to lift you up, but I couldn't wait
for an ambulance. I got under your right arm and put over my shoulder, and I drug you to my
car, and drove you to here to Mercy Hospital", she explained. "They lucky I didn't have my
pistol, 'cause I would've.....pop, pop, pop", she said, imitating Mike Epps in "All About the
Benjamin's. Boy, that girls sense of humor; you gotta love it.
And how ironic! After begging God to have mercy on me, I end up at Mercy Hospital.
"Gina, I know you know how I feel about you, but I want you to hear it again, and know
it forever. I love you, and I thank God that I have you in my life, and I pray that I never lose
you, that I won't ever have to spend a day of the rest of my life without you."
"I promise you, baby, you won't; I love you, Marvin."
"I love you too, Boo", I reiterated. "Where you earlier?"
"I was down in the cafeteria with Lamont. We were talking about the incident. He told
me he had planned to come to your house that day to surprise you. He said you thought he was
getting out of the hospital the next day. He said when he got there, your brother was there
cleaning up, and that's how he found out what happened. If he would've been there, this
probably wouldn't've happened."
"Yeah, right!"
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Chapter 12
It has been two months since I've been shot. I've been laying low for the most part. I
graduated high school a week ago; a bitter sweet feeling. The highlight of the whole two months
was the graduation presents from both my brother and my mom. Tone presented me with a
Porsche 911. I couldn't believe it. It's fully loaded, with deep tints, peanut butter interior, a
banging system, tv's and a DVD player, and chrome on the wheels (they're tens, but I keep them
clean).
I'm in that very car, now, headed to my mother's present. She bought me a condo in
Dearborn Heights; it was a graduation gift, but it was also designed to keep me away from the
violence of the city. Yeah right! The condo is fully furnished, the view is of a wooded area, but
it's still scenic, and it has a pool area for the residents.
The place also has a guard the opens a gate for you to get onto the property where the
condo are situated. It was out of the way; ducked off, in the cut. There's only a few people that
are allowed access to my place, and they have to show identification to the guard to verify that
they are allowed to come on the premises. My mom, my brother, Brian (because I know he
wouldn't bring any heat to my place), Gina, and Tracy.
When I pulled up to the gate, the guard informed me that I had a visitor. "A miss Tracy,
sir."
"Thank you, and look, if you see me pull up with another girl and there's already a young
lady waiting for me, take off your hat as a sign, and I'll know", I said, handing him a fifty dollar
bill.
That was the fourth guard I had to do that to in the past two weeks, but that should be all
by: Melvin Spencer
of them, if my memory serves me correctly. It'll probably be the best two hundred dollars I've
ever spent. When I pulled up, I saw Tracy's car. I'd given her my Impala. Of course, I told
Gina that I sold it to Tracy's mom as a present for Tracy's graduation. I had it painted pink with
white and pink interior, and custom plates that read, "Pink Tracy". I also had the rims painted
pink; that really made it stand out.
When I walked into the condo, Tracy was in the kitchen cooking, butt naked, with only
an apron to cover her lady parts. Her perky breast were barely contained, as she moved around
the kitchen with expert precision. The meal that she was preparing couldn't be as good as the
feast that my eyes were beholding. I was hungry, in more ways than one. I'd just been to my
mom's house; she was a little under the weather, so went to check on her.
"Is it your birthday or mine?", I asked, as I took off the jacket that I'd worn to protect me
from the cool night air that a Michigan summer night can produce.
"Neither. But I figured I'd try out my birthday suit in your new place; you know, break it
in a little.", she replied.
"Break it in. My sentiments, exactly."
"You should go and put on your own", she suggested, seduction oozing from her voice.
She didn't have to tell me twice! I started to strip, throwing every article of clothing that
I took off onto the beige leather couch. I was eager to see what she had in store for me, and I had
a lot of proof in my boxers. But she stopped me.
"Wait! Go and take a shower, and I'm gonna finish cooking your food, then we can start
the extracurricular activities. Besides, we got all night."
"Dania! You shouldn't have gotten me all excited like that, girl", I said, standing in the
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living-room/dining-room in only my boxers and a white undershirt.
She walked over, slowly, to me, and I watched her intently. She rubbed her body against
me, and I could feel her erect nipples poking through the apron she was wearing, prompting me
to caress her soft skin. She grabbed my "package", and whispered softly in my ear.
"I'm gonna take good care of you tonight, daddy." She grabbed my ass, which was kind
of weird, now that I think about it, but, hey, it's the moment. "Now, go get in that shower."
I complied.
The shower felt amazing! I allowed the steady stream to ease away the tension of the
day. For the third time since I'd been shot, the cops had questioned me about what I'd seen, and
why someone might want to rob and kill me? Their guest was as good as mine, but even if I did
know, I wouldn't tell them. Not only is it against the code of the streets, but how the hell would
I be able to kill them if they're in police custody? The cops drilled me, but I stood firm, like a
real nigga should.
The iPod played Trey Songs "I Invented Sex", on the home system that sat of the shelf in
the bathroom., helping to calm my nerves. I was singing along when, suddenly, I saw the
curtains open. Tracy stood there naked as the day she was born, and I took it all in. I'd seen her
naked a couple of times now, but I could never get tired of looking at her body. Her breast were
big and full, but they were perky too. She had the prettiest nipples, that looked like door bell
buttons. Her hair was let down, fluffy and long, and her nice round bottom was visible from the
front. Her private area was clean shaven, except for a tiny patch that was in the shape of a heart.
She stepped into the shower with me, and took the washcloth out of my hand.
"Here, baby; let me help you with that."
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She turned me toward her and washed my neck. I felt the cloth go over my bullet wound,
and I flinched, involuntarily. She washed my arms, and then moved to my chest. Putting more
body wash on the washcloth, she continued with my abs on down to my manhood. The way she
gently attended to them had me standing at attention, my posture and other parts. After rinsing, I
took control.
"Now, let me help you, lil mama."
I washed around her neck, then to her arms and chest. I teased her nipples a little bit,
then washed both her legs and feet, enjoying the texture of her skin when soak and wet, and
watching her watch me while I attended to her body.
"And what about my sweet spot?", she asked, noticing that I'd yet to touch her special
place.
"Don't worry, I have a special way of getting that cleaned."
I tasted her sweetness, as she leaked into my mouth, before turning her around so that her
plump and voluptuous backside was facing me. I grabbed her leg and propped it up on the side
of the tub, and slid into her with my manhood. Proceeding to ravish her from behind, I pulled
her thick head of hair and kissed her neck. Her moans only excited me more
"Take me, daddy. I'm all yours, take me", she expressed through moans and short
breaths. I stroked her harder, releasing her hair and grabbing her D-cups, pinching and caressing
her nipples. "I love you", she sighed, as I allowed my actions to convey my feelings.
I turned her around so she was facing me. Looking her in the eyes, I kissed her forehead.
I gripped her ample buttocks and picked her up. Putting her on the wall, I found her box again,
stroking hard and deep, yet slowly. She gripped the back of my head, so that my face was buried
by: Melvin Spencer
in her breasts.
"Take it", she instructed as she her lips found mine
Taking her down from the wall, she bent over and gripped the side of the tub, spreading
her legs so that I could enter her from behind. I worked hard to please her, and from the trembles
that flowed through her body, I could tell that I was doing my job. I stroked her, watching her
breasts jiggle while they were suspended in mid-air. I gripped her hair like the reins on a horse
that I was riding to freedom.
"Whose is this?"
"It's yours, Marvin. It's yours", she said, the tremors becoming more violent and more
frequent.
I let go of her hair and gripped her hips pulling her into me as I stroked deeper, watching
her ass move like the waves of the sea. I could no longer contain myself. I was going to erupt,
and soon. I feel myself reaching the peak, and I stroked deeper, and harder. I came hard, and
deep inside of her, and both of our eyes closed in ecstasy.
After washing ourselves again, we made our way to the bed, not even bothering to eat
what she'd prepared; we both had had our fill I laid with Tracy, running my hands through her
hair. The condo had two rooms, and I let Tracy decorate the one we were laying in to her liking,
dubbing it "Tracy's Room". It had pink trimmings, pink silk sheets and blankets, with a Pink
Panther doll that sat in a small pink rocking chair.
"I love you, lil mama"
"I love you too", she said, tracing the outline of my abdominals. "What are you thinking
about, right now?"
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Tracy was always probing me, wanting to know my thoughts at any given moment. I
don't know why, but she was always curious as to what I was thinking? What was on my mind?
She was wanted to know me, every part of me.
"I'm wondering howl got so lucky. I'm alive, by the Grace of God, when I should've
been dead. I have friends and family that care so much about me. For some reason you love me,
and I don't understand it."
"You wanna know when I fell in love with you?", she asked.
"When?"
"At first, when I saw how much of a gentleman you were and how you treated Gina, I
just wanted to have that, and I thought the best way to get it was to seduce you; but that was just
lust, and I didn't want a one night stand, I could've gotten that from anywhere. I mean, I wanted
to have sex with you, but I was sure if you were worth it."
"Boy, Tracy, you really know how to help someone's self-esteem", I said, sarcastically.
She continued.
"But when Tae got shot and I saw how much everyone depended on you, and how strong
you were, bearing everyone else pain, I wanted you to be that for me. In that moment, I grew to
care about you, but it still wasn't love. I knew I loved you when I asked you to hold me because
I was tired of being alone, and you did and in the morning when I woke up, you were still there."
"But you told me you loved me before you went to sleep that night", I interjected.
"I did, as a friend. But when I woke up and felt your strong arms around me, keeping me
safe and warm, the pain from years of hurt and neglect, dissipated. At that exact moment I
wanted to love you forever."
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"Well, you keep putting it on me like you did tonight, and I'm all yours", I said playfully,
and she slapped my face, lightly. "No, for real though. I felt the same way you felt, as I held
you. When I woke up and saw how peaceful you looked, I knew I always wanted to be there for
you. I knew I wanted to love you, but I didn't know it would be in this way, and I was scared I
wouldn't know how. You know, you are the only girl I've ever made love to."
"What about Gina?"
"I love Gina the same way I love you, but it's never transcended to the act of sex", I
confessed.
"You are the only one that has made me feel the way you made me feel; an indescribable
feeling. My body had never felt that way during sex; it felt like you were making love to my
soul. Healing old wounds with every touch, every kiss, every stroke", she said, her hands now
exploring my body. "That experience solidified my love for you. Laying on your chest
afterwards, I wanted you to mean everything you said, because I've had so many people make
me so many promises that they couldn't or wouldn't keep. When you looked me in my eyes and
kissed my forehead, my spirit was revived, and for the first time in a long time, I knew what it
felt like to be loved."
"You can sleep well now; love is here, and you're safe in my arms", I assured her, kissing
her forehead and holding her tight.
I watched Tracy drift off to sleep, realizing that I would have to find a balance between
her and Gina, or it wouldn't work. I just didn't know how to give them both what they needed
without exhausting myself. Even though I loved Tracy dearly, I was starting to feel the weight
of the situation that being with both Gina and Tracy was putting me in. I needed to figure it out,
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but I needed to rest also, so I closed my eyes. But just as I was drifting off to sleep, my cell
phone started to vibrate. Picking it up off of the nightstand, I saw that the number was blocked.
"Hello", I answered, wondering who could be calling me this time of night from a
blocked number?
"Hello", a female voice came through the other end of the line, sobbing.
I sat up, and Tracy lightly fell from my chest. "Gina is that you?"
"No! It's Cherish."
Cherish? I looked at the clock on the display and it read 1:23 am. Why was Cherish
calling me at one-thirty in the morning, crying.
"Cherish, what's wrong, sweetie."
"I couldn't take it no more, Marv. I left."
"Wait, slow down, Boo Boo. What are you talking about?"
"I left home. All they do is criticize me when I do something wrong, and they ignore all
the good things I do. I'm tired of it, Marv, and I'm never going back to that. I don't want to be
anywhere that I'm not appreciated."
"Cherish, listen to me. Where are you?", I asked, concern growing in my voice.
"I'm at the 7Eleven on Cherry Hill."
"Don't move, I'll be right there, okay?"
"Alright. Thank you, Marv", she said, sounding truly remorseful.
"Yeah, yeah. Just don't move, please."
Ending the call, I put my phone back on the nightstand beside the king sized bed, and
massaged the bridge of my nose with my thumb and my forefinger. This day was too stressful
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already, and that distress call from Cherish was proof that it wasn't quite over with, yet. I looked
at Tracy, who was still asleep, and kissed her on the forehead.
"I'll be right back", I whispered to her.
She rolled over, barely acknowledging me, and I went and got my jacket, a skully, and
the keys to my car. The night had grown chillier, and the owls were hooting in the trees that
rustled with the wind. A few stars dared to show their faces, even though the moon was out in
full force. I climbed into the Porsche and raced towards the 7Eleven that was only a quarter mile
away from the condos. My head was hurting, my body was tired, but my heart was determined
to get to Cherish, and see to it that she was safe.
When I got to the store that was famous for its Slurpies, Cherish was sitting outside on a
rinky clink bench, in her pajamas and a thin jacket. It was June, but it's still Michigan, and it gets
nippy at night, and I was sure that jacket was fully protecting her from the chill. I instructed her
to get into the car, before entering the store a purchasing a cup of hot chocolate for her.
"Is she your friend?", the clerk asked in broken English, nodding towards my car.
"No; she's my family", the clerk smiled as he handed me my change and bade me
goodnight.
"Here, drink this", I said, handing the cup of hot chocolate to Cherish when I got back
into the car.
"When did you get this car?", she asked, visibly shaking from being out in the cold.
"It was a graduation present. Drink that hot cocoa, and warm up." I turned on the heat,
and let it wash over us, even though I wasn't particularly cold myself. "Are you hungry?"
"A little, but this is good", she said sipping the cocoa.
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I turned on the radio to help restrain me from asking Cherish what the hell she was
thinking by running away from home? I knew at this point that isn't what she needed. FM98
was playing slow jams, and Jagged Edge's "Promise" was playing. Turned it up and sung along
softly to calm my nerves. She sang along also.
"What you know about this, girl?"
She looked at me with big brown eyes. "I ain't that young."
"How old are you now? What fourteen?"
"No! I'm fifteen, thank you very much."
"Well, excuse me", I said, grinning to myself as we pulled up to the gate of the condos.
I thought back to when I was fifteen. I thought I knew it all, that I had everything figured
out. Even though I'm only three years older, I realize that I didn't have a damn clue about what I
was doing or what I was going to do with my life; still don't.
The guard looked in the car, noticing Cherish in the passenger seat, took of his hat, and
opening the gate, waved me through. It was good to see that he was on top of his game, even
though I didn't need him to do that at this particular moment. Helping Cherish out of the car, we
walked up the small walkway that led to my front door. I let her in, and taking her jacket, I
motioned her to the couch.
I looked in the oven, and found the plate Tracy prepared earlier; smothered lamb chops
and biscuits in gravy. I put the plate in the microwave, and went to check on Tracy. Peeking in
the room, I saw that she appeared to be still asleep. I went back to the kitchen; a small kitchen
that bore the essential for a man's survival (Refrigerator, stove, microwave, toaster, coffee maker
that I'll never use, and cabinets full of ready to eat foods). I poured Cherish a glass of Kool-Aid,
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and removed the plate of food from the microwave.
When I entered the livingroom, Cherish was sitting on the couch with her shoes on and
her posture rigid. "Make yourself comfortable. You'll be here for the night", I told her, sitting
the food and drink in front of her.
"Thank you", she said again, relaxing a little, but still in her Nike sneakers. She started
to eat slowly and with a little nerves showing. Not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable by
watching her eat, I went to the other room (Gina's Room), and grabbed a pillow and two
blankets. Sitting the blankets down on the edge of the couch, I grabbed the television remote,
and turn on the tv.
"You like Kevin Hart?", I asked while going through my DVD collection that rested
underneath a coffee table that was once my mother's.
"Yeah", she replied through the last bites of the lamb chop.
I put Kevin Hart's "Seriously Funny" (a stand-up movie) into the Blueray player pushing
play and turning off the already dimmed lights that the room offered. She was finishing up her
plate, which I collected and put into the sink to be washed at a later date. I came back into the
living area and sat down at the end of the couch.
"Go ahead and stretch out, I know you gotta be tired. Put your feet up here", I said
patting my lap.
I took off Cherish's shoes as Kevin Hart came on stage to a thunderous applause, smiling
from ear to ear. It must be awesome to do what you love and earn a living by doing it. I placed
her shoes on the side of the couch, and covered Cherish up with a blanket after giving her a
pillow.
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"Comfortable now?", I asked.
"Perfectly, thank you."
Kevin Hart is hilarious. In movies he's good, but there's nothing like his standup
routines. I would love to see him live on stage; maybe I'll take Gina, or Tracy. Oh shit! The
dilemma's arising again. I would have to find a good way to balance these two relationships,
and it seems that no matter what I do someone is going to get left out of some things. Someone
is going to get more than the other. I wonder if balance is even possible in this situation?
"Marv?", Cherish spoke suddenly, breaking my train of thought. "Have you ever been in
love?"
"Yeah! Why?"
"What does it feel like?"
"It's not exactly something that you can describe, it's a feeling that you can't articulate.
You'll know when it happens", I said, standing up and covering her feet.
"When was the last time you were in love?", she asked with curious eyes.
"I'm in love right now... .with the idea of keeping you safe. Now, get some rest."
I kissed her forehead.
"Thank you, Marv."
"Your very welcome, Boo Boo."
I left her with the remainder of the movie, and made my way back to where Tracy was
sleep; but when I made it to the hallway, Tracy was standing at the edge of the livingroom, in her
pink robe, watching me with the most adoring looking on her face. I kissed her lips lightly as I
approached her.
You Win Some.. ,.You Lose Some
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"How long were you standing there, Trace?", I asked, looking into her blue eyes that still
shined in the semi-darkness.
I smile became wider as her hand caressed the side of my face. I loved her touch; her
gentle touch was like balm in my wounds. She made me whole, she made me complete, and I
could never forget that fact.
"Just know that I love you now more than I ever thought I did before. I love you so much
right now, Marvin Aaron Williams."
"I thought the song said I hate you so much right now?", I joked as we walked back to the
room to climb in bed.
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Chapter 13
I woke up the next morning, well it was actually a little after noon, feeling a little bit
better than I did the night before. The start of a new day brought with it innumerable
possibilities, and I was feeling refreshed and revitalized, ready to take on the world and any
opportunities that the universe may present to me. I rolled over, noticing that Tracy was missing
in action.
She'd probably went home, I thought as I went to the bathroom for my daily routine;
shit, shower, swag. In some basketball shorts and a beater, I made my way to the kitchen. I
stopped short at the livingroom, and saw the covers from Gina's room folded neatly on the couch
with a pillow on top, forgetting, for a moment how they got there; but then it hit me.
OH SHIT!!! I forgot about Cherish. But where was she? I know she's slept on the
couch the night before, but now there was no sign of her. Her shoes were gone, no longer on the
side of the couch, where I, myself, put them, personally, last night. I looked on the coffee table
to see if she had left a note, or something. Nothing. I went to Tracy's room to check my phone,
to see if Cherish had left a message of some kind, letting me know her whereabouts. I turned on
the phone; there was one text from Tracy, that's all.
"When U get dis, call me. Cherish is wit me."
The text was sent at 9:03 am. It's three and a half hours later, I thought to myself as I
glanced at my 0-Shock. Where the hell could they be for three plus hours? I could feel the
anger welling up inside of me, and I was ready to go off. I called Tracy's cell phone, which was
her mother's real graduation present, and she answered on the second ring.
"Hello."
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"Where the fuck are you at?", I asked, anger seeping through my voice into the receiver.
"We're at the mall. Why? What's wrong with you?"
"Why in the hell would you be out with Cherish, at the mall, parading her around like she
didn't just run away from home less than twenty-four hours ago? Her family is worried sick
about her, and ya'll out on a shopping spree."
"Well, I figured she was hungry, and she only had those pajamas, so why not go
shopping and get her something to wear for today, and then we stopped and got a bite to eat."
"And that's taking ya'll four hours?1,111"
"No. We got our nails done too. But I can't drive with wet nails, and Cherish doesn't
have her permit yet, let alone her license; can you believe that? She should at least have her
permit by now. Well, anyway, since I couldn't drive with wet nails, I suggested we get a facial
while our nails dried."
I was trying not to blow up, but I could feel my blood pressure building. "So yarn just
having a regular ol' girls day out, huh?"
"Yeah; I was gonna...."
I couldn't help it; my anger had boiled over as I sat on the other line listening to Tracy's
naivety. She really had no idea. I cut her off in the middle of her spiel.
"Girl, if you don't get yo ass back here, now, with that girl, I'm gonna come down there
to that mall and embarrass the both of ya'11", I spat in anger.
"Okay!!!! Dang. It ain't even that serious", she retorted.
I was about to cuss her out some more, tell her just how serious the situation really was,
but she hung up the phone abruptly. Needing to calm myself down, I called Gina. I hadn't
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talked to her since early yesterday, and I hadn't seen her since Wednesday night. She's been
busy putting the finishing touches on her college applications, entry essays, and the like, so it's
been hard for us to get together. I was missing her in a bad way, but I understood that she had
her future to think about.
"Hey, baby", she answered the phone cheerfully, as if she had the sun in her hand and the
stars in her pocket, and I loved her for that.
"What's going on with you, baby girl?"
"Nothing. I was thinking about taking a break today from all this college admissions
crap. I was going to call Tracy and see is she wanted to go to the mall or something. Anything
to give my brain a break; all this stuff is making my head hurt. Why? What's up with you? Is
everything okay?"
"Oh, I'm cool. I was tryna see if you wanted to chill or do something today, but if you're
going to kick it with Tracy today, I can find something else to do."
"No. I wanna be with you today. What you tryna do?"
"Naw. If you'd rather chill with your girl, I understand", I said, not really meaning to.
"Marvin, what's wrong?", Gina asked, her knack for being there ever intact; she knows
me, and she can sense when something is wrong with me.
"Nothing. I just really want to see you, and.....TJ's cousin, Cherish, ran away from home
last night, and she called me to pick her up. So now I gotta drop her off at Momma Rose's,
and.. .1 don't know. I promised Cherish that I would take her bowling , so why don't you and
Tracy go to the mall, and then ya'll meet us at Cherry Hill Lanes afterward. That way
everybody's happy."
You Win Some. ...You Lose Some
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"You know, you can't please everyone, Marvin", she said, her motherly side shining
through.
"So I've heard; and if you want to you can spend the night at my place tonight and I can
take you home tomorrow."
"Sure, baby. I'ma call Tracy right now and set everything up. I love you, Marvin."
"I love you too."
"I'll see you later, she said before ending the call and leaving me with a longing to see
here even more.
Tracy and Cherish walked in the door at something to one, laughing and giggling. They
were clutching bags from various stores, looking as if they'd been long lost friends who'd just
recently reconnected, but when they saw the look on my face, they stopped dead in their tracks,
looking at each other like two siblings who knew they were in trouble.
"Hey, Marv, look what Tracy bought me", Cherish said, walking toward the couch that I
was sitting on, watching reruns of Boy Meets World (a childhood favorite of mine). Sitting
down beside me and going through her bags, she rambled on, and I mean mugged Tracy. "She
got me some Lady Evisus jeans and a matching baby tee. She wanted to get me some heels, but
I'm more of a sneaker chick. I just got some Limited Edition Blue Jean Air Force Ones. And
did you see my hair?", she asked, bubbling with renewed excitement.
When I looked at Tracy, again, she was standing at the dining-room table smiling, no
doubt proud of herself and what she done for Cherish. But when she caught me looking at her
again, the smile dissipated and her eyes went to her own bags.
"Tracy didn't tell me that ya'll was getting your hair done, and did you have those streaks
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in your hair last night?", I asked looking back to Cherish, trying to match her excitement yet
failing horribly.
"Really, it was a wash and press, but it was heaven. I asked for the purple streaks; you
like them?"
"I love them", I said. "I'm glad you had so much fun."
"I had a blast. Thanks, Tracy", she expressed her gratitude, looking at Tracy, who smiled
a knowing smile, a secret smile that only the two of them knew about. "Oh, we also went to
Bath and Body Works, and Victoria's Secret."
Cherish rummaged through her other bags, pulling out soaps, body washes, and
undergarments that I didn't think were appropriate for me to see. I cut my eyes towards Tracy.
"Oh yeah; you took her to Victoria's Secret?
"What?", she said while unpacking some food. "I had to get her some panties and a bra;
plus they were having a sale", she expressed, hunching her shoulders as if she had no other
choice.
I could only shake my head at Tracy and her comments. She icaily had no idea how
much trouble she could be in right now. She was completely oblivious. I turned back to
Cherish, and painted a smile on my face as evenly as I possibly could in this moment.
"Why don't you go, take a shower, and get dressed so we can go. Towels are in the
closet in the hall, and if you need anything else, just let me know, okay?"
"Okay. But, where are we going, Marv?", she asked, her eyebrows coming together in a
quizzical look, showing her innocence, yet displaying her intelligence, simultaneously.
"We're gonna go and see your Auntie Rose, and try to figure this whole situation out.
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Maybe she can mediate between you and your mom." She looked disappointed at my solution,
looking down at the bags full of new stuff then to the floor, coming to the realization, in some
strange way, that life wasn't all fun and games and shopping sprees. Placing my forefinger
under her chin, I lifted her head so that her eyes met mine. "Cherish, there are gonna be a lot of
things that come at you in life that you are not going to like, but you can't just run away from
them all the time. Sometimes you have to face those tough situations head on. Do you
understand what I'm telling you, Boo Boo?"
"Yeah, Marv, I understand", she said
"You know I have your best interest in mind, right?" She nodded, her purple streaks
shimmering in the sunlight that peeked through the blinds. "Good. Now go and get cleaned up."
Cherish grabbed her bags and made her way to the bathroom, shooting Tracy an
encouraging smile before disappearing down the hall. Tracy was setting out some food that she
brought back with her, malting excessive noise, and trying to avoid my gaze, that now was an icy
stare. The silence was deafening, and it lingered, clinging to every wall in the front of the condo.
When I was sure Cherish was in the bathroom and I heard the shower running, I went in on
Tracy.
"Girl, are you crazy?"
She just looked at me with a blank stare, not quite sure why I was making such a big deal
out of what seemed to be nothing. I continued so that she'd get the point that I was trying to
make.
"Cherish is a runaway. The police are more than likely out looking for her right now, and
if they would've caught her with you in the mall shopping and having a gay old time, you
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would've went down as an accessory, for aiding a minor. How could you be so careless?", I
said, my voice a little louder than I'd realized.
She broke down. Tears started to run down her beautiful face, showing a side of her that
I hadn't seen since the first time she seen my in the hospital. The tears weren't exactly tears of
hurt, but tears of disappointment. She'd disappointed me, and that was the exact opposite of
what she was trying to accomplish. I felt bad for her, instantly. I opened my arms to her,
inviting her in to me.
"Come here, Trace", I said, my voice softer than before, and she came into my arms and
buried her head in my chest.
"I'm sorry, Marv. I was trying to be thoughtful and do what I thought you would do in
this situation. I thought you'd be proud", she said through sobs.
She was right. I would've ending up doing the same thing for Cherish. Maybe not the
nails, the facial, the hair, or the Victoria's Secret; but her heart was in the right place, it was just
her execution was a little off, but I couldn't fault her for that. I spoke calmly as I let my cheek
rest on the top of her fuzzy head.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I am proud of you, it's just that I was worried. Cherish is
in my care right now, so she's my responsibility, and when I saw that she was gone, I got angry,
and scared, and I panicked. I know your intentions were good, and they came from a pure place,
but you gotta remember that all things that seem good to you aren't always good for you. You
feel me?" She nodded her head, her fuzzy hair bouncing slightly like a hair medicine ball against
the floor. I held her a little tighter, kissing the fuzzy ball of hair on the crown of her head. "I
love you, Trace."
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Soon after we'd kissed and made up, Gina called Tracy, and Tracy left to meet her. I sat
down on the couch with the pancake platter Tracy brought back from American Grill, feeling
exhausted, and mentally and emotionally drained. I turned the television to ESPN 2, and
watched Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless debate on 'First Take' Once again, Skip was going
in on LeBron James, and his inability to close out games, and Stephen A., in LeBron's defense
provided facts and stats proving how "disrespectful" Skip was being in his assessment of
LeBron. Just as I was about to join the debate, and cuss Skip out, through the television, of
course, Cherish called out.
"Tracy, will you come here, please?"
"She left", I called back, with a mouthful of hashbrowns.
"Well, Marvin, can you come here, real quick?", she yelled again, and I sat my tray of
food on the coffee table, upset by the interruption, and headed to the bathroom.
"Is it safe?", I inquired, knocking on the bathroom door.
"Yeah, come in."
When I entered the bathroom, I was attacked by the smell of watermelon and kiwi, and
Trey Song's "Holla" that played through the iPod home system, cutting through the air, doing
nothing to stop the steam from taking over the smallest room in the place; perhaps his voice only
helped to make the steam flourish. I looked around at all of the feminine products, and the
realization that I was in a small bathroom with a naked girl standing just beyond the semi seethrough shower curtains, hit me like a Mack truck. Cherish was an attractive young lady, and
although she was like family, she wasn't quite family.
"What do you want, little girl?"
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"First off: I'm not a little girl."
"Noted", I said acceptingly.
"Secondly: Hand me that washcloth, please."
"You goin' learn not to interrupt me while I'm watching ESPN", I said grabbing the
washcloth off of the granite sink top.
As I walked forward, preparing to hand her the washcloth, the shower curtain flew open.
Based on my gentlemanly instincts, I turned my head quickly, and shielded my eyes from
Cherish's nakedness, although there was a part of me that wanted to looked.
"Boy relax! I have a towel on"
I peeked through the hand that covered my eyes and saw that she was indeed covered.
Thank God! It was obvious that Cherish was growing up fast; even through the towel, I could
see that her body was filling out, but I didn't want to complicate things between us by having
something awkward, like me seeing her naked, go down. I cared about her, in fact, I love her,
and I didn't want to ruin how we felt about each other now. I looked at her and smiled
sheepishly.
Smiling back she said, "Now, can I get dressed?"
"Oh yeah! Yeah, let me get out of your way", I said while practically running out of the
steamy (in more ways than one) bathroom.
I went and got dressed. I put on a pair of Evisus jeans and a Evisus t-shirt; with
my
Limited Edition Blue Jean Air Force Ones, and a Detroit Tigers snapback. I thought Cherish
would appreciate the fact that we would be dressed alike. I checked my white G-Shock watch,
and it read 2:10 pm.
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"Let's go, Cherish!", I yelled, and she came out of the bathroom three minutes later.
"Okay, I'm ready", she said as she came in the living-room.
My jaw dropped!!!
"You look beautiful, Boo Boo."
I lied. Beautiful didn't do her justice. She looked amazingly gorgeous. I was happy for
her, and I was proud of Tracy. I knew at that moment I would probably have to kill somebody
behind Cherish.
"You got all your stuff?"
She nodded.
"Is there anything you wanna talk about before we go? Something that might help calm
your nerves and ease your apprehension. I know you must have a million thoughts and worries
in your mind", I said seeing that she looked nervous.
"As a matter of fact there is", she said.
I motioned her toward the couch. I could hear her release a sigh as she took a seat on the
couch. Her eyes looked honest, and the purple streaked hair that came over her eyes made her
look like an inquisitive young woman trying to find her way in a world that failed to notice her
the way she took notice of it. She looked like she was hesitant to speak.
"Just say it, Boo Boo. You can talk to me about anything", I said looking at her.
"You love Tracy, right?", she I asked, catching me off guard; I though she wanted to talk
about something regarding her situation, not mine.
"Yeah, I do."
"And you love....."
by: Melvin Spencer
"Gina? Yes"
"How is that possible? I thought when you loved one person you just love them only."
"I thought the same thing, but here is my logic. Love is so wide and vast that it is able to
stretch itself to encompass all that you love. Like how you love all your sisters, and how you
love your mom and your dad, all at the same time. Or how God could love the whole world
equally. That's how I view my love for both Tracy and Gina. Now, while Tracy understands
that logic, Gina doesn't quite feel the same way."
"Why is that?", Cherish asked. "It makes perfect sense."
"I remember I had this Transformer toy when I was younger. I wouldn't let anyone else
play with that toy, except for me, because I loved that toy so much. That's how I feel about both
Gina and Tracy. I wouldn't want anyone else to have them, and that's how Gina feels about
me."
"So Gina doesn't know about you and Tracy?", Cherish asked curiously.
"Naw. She doesn't, but at the end of the day, some people just don't play well with
others. So you don't let them know who all is in the game."
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Chapter 14
We pulled up to TJ's house, the street was lined with kids, playing in the street, enjoying
their time away from school. That nostalgic returned at the sight of these naïve little creatures,
the bliss of ignorance, a gift and a curse, something that I wish I could get back. But I was
beginning to see the world for what it is, and the moment you begin to see so clearly, the
moment that blindfold comes off, the moment your eyes start to adjust to the darkness of this
planet, is the moment you realize how fast death is approaching, and the moment you start to run
from it, until it finally catches up to you; and it will.
"You nervous?", I asked Cherish, turning off the radio and killing the engine.
"Yeah, a little; but I'm gonna do as you said. I gotta face this head on, or there'll be
unresolved issues between my mother and me, and I really don't want that."
"You're a smart young lady, Boo Boo", I said, proud of her for being so strong and
intelligent. "Remember, if you ever need anything don't hesitate to call me. Even if you just
wanna talk about something, just give me a holla, and I got you."
"Thank you, Marvin", she expressed, her beautiful brown eyes looking at me with
sincerity and admiration.
"You're welcome, anytime. Now let's go face the music", I said taking the keys out of
the ignition.
"Oh, one more thing before we go in", Cherish said as I was preparing to exit the car,
leaning over and kissing me lightly on the cheek. "Thanks again, Marvin. I love you."
I didn't know how to take this. The kiss on the cheek didn't bother me too much, it was
the I love you. I didn't quite understand where it was coming from. Of course, I love Cherish in
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my own little way, but I don't want her to get the wrong impression. She's like family to me,
and I don't want her thinking she's falling in love with me just because I try my best to treat her
the way she should be treated. I understand that she's at that age, where she's crushing on guys
who only have one thing on their mind, and she can't really distinguish between love, lust, and
being in love with the idea of being in love. But I have to be there to help guide her through, as
much as I possibly can; and I will.
"I love you too", I fatally said, reinforcing it with a loving smile. "Now let's go."
I got out and opened the door for her. When she grabbed my hand and stepped out of the
car, she looked me up and down.
"Hey, you got on my outfit!"
"No, you got on my outfit. Besides, you can't be the only one walking around looking
fly. If I can't beat you, I might as well join you. How do I look?", I asked as I brushed myself
off.
"Like a swagger jacker", she said stepping passed me.
"Thank for the compliment", I returned with a light laugh.
I waved to TTs neighbors as I walked up the driveway, three little girls in pigtails and
play-clothes. Their brother and I went to the same writers workshop, in the city. It's an
afterschool program for promising writers; you have to be recommended by your writing teacher
and your schools principal. Students from all over come to that workshop; it's a good way to
network.
"Grandma! Cherish is out here, and she with some dude", Tiffany came out of the house
screaming as we approached the porch steps.
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I turned my hat to the back, so that my face was more visible. "So, now I'm just some
dude to you", I asked with a big smile.
Tiffany's mouth dropped open, as if she'd seen a ghost, and she smiled a smile that was
all too familiar. She ran to me and I held open my arms. She felt light in my arms (she never did
weigh much), and as we embraced I hugged her hard and long, the hug of a long lost friend.
"I missed you, Girl", I said while giving her a once over.
She still looked the same. She was beautiful, brown skin, short in stature, petite, and a
killer smile. I had a crush on her when we were kids, but now she's more like a sister. She
looked me up and down.
"Look at you. You look good", she commented.
"Look who's talking. You're doing yo thang."
"I try. I try. So, what have you been up to, Marv?"
"Shit. Doing me. I wan= go to school this fall to study Literature, and Music theory.
So I'm excited about that. Other than that, I'm just tryna keep my head above water."
"Looks like you're doing a good job at it. Is that your car?", she asked, nodding to the
Porsche.
"Yeah. It was a graduation present from my brother."
"He always did spoil you. You still rapping?"
"Yeah. That's why I'm majoring in literature, so I can become a better story teller, and
music theory to learn the ends and outs of music."
"So, where did you find the runaway slave?", she asked, in reference to Cherish, who had
went into the house already.
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"Oh, she hit me up late last night, saying she and her mother weren't seeing eye to eye, so
she left. I went and swooped her up at the 7Eleven on Cherry Hill. My girl took her shopping
this morning, and after she got cleaned up and fed, I brought her here so Momma Rose can help
sort this mess out between Cherish and her mom."
When Tiffany and I came into the house, Cherish was sitting at the dining-room table
with Momma Rose, explaining her side of the story.
"Auntie, all the do is criticize me. I'm doing good in school, I'm not running around at
all hours of the night, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm not pregnant, in fact I'm still a virgin...."
I decided to go to the basement on that note, I was hearing to much information for my
sensitive ears to handle. Tiffany was thinking the same thing, and she led the way through the
kitchen to the basement. When we got downstairs it was filled with smoke, both weed and
cigarette.
"What's popping, yall", I announced, walking through a cloud of smoke, trying to get to
the couch.
"What's popping; you ready to lose in this 2K?", TJ asked, not taking his eyes off of the
television.
"It's whatever; who am I playing after?", I asked looking around the dark and smokey
basement that was only lit by the 52 inch flatscreen, squinting my eyes to see who all was down
there.
"Brandon got next then you", TJ said handing me the blunt as I took a seat on the couch.
My eyes adjusting to the darkness, and the cloudiness, I saw Brandon, Ant, Lil Mike,
Milly, and Tae.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Damn, Tae! Is that you getting banged out like that? I thought playing against me
would've made you better. What you doing over here anyway?", I asked.
"TJ wanted some bud, so I brought him a few sacks. Then he started talking shit, and I
figured I'd smash his ass in this 2K", Tae said, focused on the game, and pressing the buttons on
the controller a little too hard.
"Looks like shit ain't turning out the way you planned it", I said, laughing.
"Kevin Durant won't miss shit on this game, and Miami's bench is horrible. Once D.
Wade gets tired, I'm stuck", he explained.
"Well, ya'll hurry up and lose so I can smash this nigga."
After two blunts and three games of NBA 2K, I looked at my watch. It was three-thirty,
and Gina still hadn't called. I guess she and Tracy were still at the mall. I felt kind of guilty for
the way I was living, and the thought that Gina would eventually find out about me and Tracy
was always in the back of my mind. I was giving myself to two women, and now neither one
could live without me, and what's even more messed up is I couldn't part with neither one of
them either. My thoughts were interrupted by Momma Rose's voice calling out to me.
"Marvin, will you come here for a minute?"
"Yeah, ma; here I come."
I lit a Newport to try and offset the weed smell. Although Momma Rose knew we
smoked, I still didn't feel comfortable going around her smelling like tree; I guess it was the
guilt, and my conscience letting me know that I shouldn't be smoking. I inhaled in cigarette
smoke, blew it out, and walked through the clouds all the way up the stairs. When I got to the
backdoor, I flicked the cigarette into the backyard, and proceeded to the dining-room where
by: Melvin Spencer
Momma Rose was sitting at the table waiting for my arrival.
"Yeah, ma."
She looked at a chair that was already half pulled out, I'm guessing the same chair that
Cherish was just sitting in, then she looked at me with a look that I understood all too well, and I
sat down after pulling the chair all the way out. She studied me for a minute, as if she was trying
to find the right way to get her point across, but there was also love and concern in her eyes.
She'd always made me feel like I was one of her own, and I'll always love her for that.
"Now, I know you've been through a lot here lately, and I know you did what you did
last night, in going to get Cherish, with the best intentions in mind; but you should've called
someone to let them know she was safe."
I always felt small in her presence, as if I were this tiny child and she was this amazing
and large figure that knew all and saw all. She had this aura about her that exuded wisdom and
love all in the same breath, and I'd always come from our talks a little wiser and a little more
humble than I went in.
"Ma, I wasn't even thinking along those lines, I just wanted to make sure she was alright.
You know, as well as I do, that I can empathize with her situation, and I didn't want her to feel
like she couldn't come to me if she's ever in trouble. You've been like a mother to me, TJ is my
brother, and your family is my family. That's the way I look at it, and that's the way I handled
the situation. And you know Trice and I are close friends, and that's her little sister. I had to
take care of her, but I can see where you're coming from. I should've called you or someone
else and made sure that ya'll knew she was okay; next time I'll take that into consideration."
"Hopefully there won't be a next time", she said, looking out to the lawn where the
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neighborhood kids had migrated to.
"Where is Cherish anyway?", I asked, going to the fridge to get something to drink.
"She's out front with Tiffany."
"What's going to happen with her regarding her mother?"
"Cherish will stay here until we all sit down, talk about what's going to happen, and we
all come to an agreement on rules and guidelines for her. Raising kids ain't as easy as one may
think, especially when they get to an age where they start to think and believe what they want to
think and believe."
"I think that's a good idea."
"What? Having kids?"
"No. You letting Cherish stay here until you talk to her mom. Speaking of good ideas,
why don't you let me take Cherish bowling with us?"
"And just who is us?", Momma Rose asked with a look near skepticism on her face.
"Me, TJ, Tae, Gina, her friend, and I was gonna ask Tiffany and Lil Mike to come also;
and that means we'll need the van", I negotiated, giving her my best puppy dog look.
After a moment of contemplation, she relented.
"Okay, but don't be smoking and don't be drinking in my van. Tell TJ I mean it", she
said, half serious half smiling
"Yes ma'am."
After telling everybody the plan, we all got ready to go. Tae and Lil Mike rode together,
since Tae had his mom's car. TJ, his girlfriend (Shantell), Brandon, Ant, and Milly all got in the
van. Tiffany and Cherish rode with me. We all stopped at Leon's Liquor store on Inkster Road,
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for some blunts and some liquor. I know we were in direct violation of Momma Rose's
instructions, but what do you expect from a bunch of kids.
Tae brought a fifth of Hennessy V.S.O.P; TJ brought a fifth of Paul Masson; Milly got a
pint of Grey Goose; I brought Tiffany a pint of 1500, while I brought a fifth of Hennessy and a
two liter of Coke, for myself, Tracy, and Gina. Cherish asked for a Brisk Iced tea and some
Starburst. We were all excited about the outing, and you could feel the energy between us all.
These were the times that we'd all remember when we became old prudes.
When we got back into the car with a our purchases, I put in my Big Sean CD, and
played "Chardonnay". I don't know why, but Big Sean's music always made me feel more at
home, made me appreciate where I was front I guess it's that D-Town shit! I texted Gina, told
her we were on our way to the bowling alley, and to meet us there.
When we arrived at Cherry Hill Lanes the parking lot was packed. On a Saturday night
that is to be accepted, it was always jumping on the weekend. The placed was stocked full with
arcades, pool rooms, laser tag, and of course, bowling. It's a good place for kids like us to come
and occupy our time, because there's not too much here that will get us in trouble, but there's
just enough here to keep us entertained and away from mischief.
The girls were wanting to do bumper bowling, but I wasn't haven't that. None of us were
really good enough to be good enough, but we all were competitive people, and I wanted to play
the way the professionals play, even if I was a ways from being profession.
"Naw! Ya'll been talking all that shit; leave those bumpers off. This is real life, this ain't
no game."
"Well, technically, it is a game, Mazy", Tiffany corrected me.
by: Melvin Spencer
"You know what I mean."
I paid the clerk at the counter, who looked more like the leader of a biker gang than a
clerk, for two lanes, and I paid for mine, Tiffany's, and Cherish's bowling shoes. I also paid for
Gina's and Tracy's for when they showed up. I reserved a pair oft and a half's for Gina and a
pair of five and a half's for Tracy. Before we started bowling we typed our names into the
scoreboard and made ourselves drinks. We split up into two teams.
Team 1: Marvin
Lil Mike
Cherish
Tiffany
Brandon
Team 2: Tae
TJ
Shantell
Milly
Ant
Team two were killing us by the time Tracy and Gina showed up. Tae was damn near
unstoppable, Shantell had some kind of lucky rabbits foot thing going on, because by the look of
her form, it was clear that she hadn't played too much bowling, but she was picking up spares
like someone on their last dollar picked up loose cigarettes.
"Oh shit. My baby's here, and she gonna show ya'll how to really bowl", I yelled,
waving Gina and Tracy over.
Gina, joining my team, didn't make too much of a difference, in fact she made us worse.
Almost all of her shots were gutter balls, and on the ones that weren't she only knocked down
two or three pins; I believe the highest number of pins she knocked down was five.
I should've picked up Tracy. She bowled three strikes, and five spares. She even got a
split. She was drunk bowling, so it was hard to tell if it was luck or skill, but either way, we lost,
badly. After four games, we decided to go and play something else. The girls all decided to play
laser tag, which TJ and I paid for. Tae, Milly, Lil Mike, Brandon, and Ant headed toward the
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arcades. Me and TJ made our way to the pool tables.
"So what's popping with the Malcolm situation, bro?", I asked TJ while racking up the
balls on the table.
"Oh yeah, word on the streets is that the nigga is holding weight. Tina, the Puerto Rican
chick, her brother is his connect. Besides some youngn's nickel and diming, and a few others
pushing zones, at the most, Malcolm seems to be the only one doing anything big; some people
are saying he's supplying almost everybody in Westland. Tina's crib, apparently, is the spot."
"You're break, bro", I informed TJ, taking the rack from around the balls that made a
perfect pyramid on the pool table, before asking, "Where do her brother be at?"
"He's from Buffalo. He comes down every three weeks like clockwork, and Malcolm reups every time. It must be weight, because ain't nobody coming all the way from New York
with Just ounces and grams", TJ declared, sinking the three ball into the corner pocket.
"Tae must've gotten the Rican chicks number after the party, because he's told me that
they've been chopping it up lately. Tae said that she told him not to call her after 8 pm 'cause
her man will be there all night. So I was thinking, this Thursday we can hit them for the work
and get this nigga back for what he did to Tae; then we'll have the whole weekend to network
and figure out what to do with the work. We run in on them at about 11:30, when you know
they're slipping. We gotta lay the whole crib down though; we can't leave any witnesses. Feel
me?"
TJ nodding in agreement as I hit the eightball into the side pocket for the game.
"Run it back", he said, proceeding to rack the balls.
Just as I was about to break for the first shot, I heard some commotion outside of the pool
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room. I ran out, and lo and behold it was some of my people. I don't understand why we can't
go anywhere without there being some kind of drama. This shit was starting to get old, really
fast. I ran over towards the commotion, and I saw Ant gripping Tracy up. I pushed Ant away
from Tracy.
"What's wrong with you? You done lost yo mind?", I asked, gritting on Ant.
"I'm saying, man; she tryna play me like I'm some clown ass nigga", he said, his speech
slurring.
"So you grip her up? What kind of clown ass shit is that?", I asked. "Yo, dude, you cool
and all, but that's my muthafucking family. Don't let the skin color fool you. If you touch her
again, I'm out you, simple and plain. You feel me? Now relax and have some fun."
After checking Ant, I went to check on Tracy.
"You alright, Trace?"
"Yeah. I'm good. He don't even know he was about to get cut in this bitch."
I couldn't help but laugh at her threat; she was so cute and sexy in her anger. "What
happened?"
"I was thirsty, so I was going to the concession stand to get a lemonade. When I was
going through the arcade to get there, that nigga rolled up on me, tryna spit game. I told him I
wasn't feeling him, and that I got a man; I guess he wasn't tryna hear that."
"Come on, let's get you that lemonade", I said laughing again, and she joined in.
"What's popping, bro?", TJ asked, coming out of the pool room as Tracy and I passed on
the way to get her something to drink.
"Ain't shit. Just a little misunderstanding. I'm take lil mama to get something to quench
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her thirst, the I 'm coming back to bust yo ass."
Tracy thanked me as I bought her a large lemonade.
"Stay with me, 'cause nobody knows that you're my girl and I don't wanna have to
murder anybody here tonight, since it's clear that you are too attractive for your own good", I
told her as we walked back into the pool room. "TJ, you know Tracy, she was at your party
that night, remember?"
"Yeah, I do. What's up baby girl, how you?"
"I'm good, but I was about to fuck that nigga up", she said, obviously still bothered by
the altercation.
TJ looked at me, a shocked and surprised look on his face. I'd forgotten that he didn't
know Tracy very well, and wasn't aware of her excessive use of the n-word.
"Oh, she thinks she's black; it's a clear case of identity crisis. No one understands how
she got that way, but don't trip; she's cool."
He laughed, and Gina and the rest of the girls walked into the pool room.
"Damn girl, what happened to you? You just dipped out", Gina asked Tracy.
"I got tired of ya'll bitches killing me. I didn't know you could shoot through the
mirrors, girl."
"Baby, I'm ready to go", Gina said, coming over and hugging me from the back as I
banked in the ball five ball into the corner pocket.
"Alright. Cherish what you and Tiffany going do?", I asked.
"We'll ride back with Tr, Tiffany answered for the both of them, Cherish confirming
with a nod of her head.
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"Tracy, are you driving home, or are you too drunk?", Gina asked Tracy.
"I'm good. Just call me tomorrow, girl."
Tracy left out ahead of us, and Gina walked with her to pull the car around. I went to tell
Tae that I was leaving for the night; imploring him not to get into any shit. He dapped me up and
promised that he'd be cool. I pulled Cherish up before heading out.
"Remember what I told you, Boo Boo. If you need anything, let me know. You still got
my number, right?"
She nodded. "Yeah, Marv, I got it."
"Did you have fun?"
"Yeah. Maybe one day soon we can chill without all the drama, and all the people", she
said looking nervously at her feet as if it took everything in her to say those words.
"Whatever you wanna do, name it, and I got you."
She gave me a hug. "Bye, Marv."
"Bye, Boo Boo."
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Chapter 15
"I told you about watching me while I sleep, girl", I said as I woke up the next morning
to Gina staring at me. "That scares the shit out of me."
"I like watching you sleep. You look so peaceful", she said, still looking at me with a,
her head resting in her hand.
Her beauty radiated. My own little piece of sunshine in my bed to wake me up. I smiled
back at her sleepily, and thought about a little morning love making session, a continuation from
the night before that went into overtime, but I rolled over and looked at the clock, and it being a
quarter til eleven, I realized I wouldn't have enough time for a the things I wanted to do to her.
"While you were watching me sleep so peacefully, you could've made me something to
eat", I said as I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and tried my best to become fully awake.
"Boy, I love you, but you know I don't cook. We can go to Denny's for brunch", she
said, racing to the bathroom.
"All that time you spent watching me sleep you could've been in the bathroom", I yelled
as she slammed the bathroom door.
"I'll be out in a minute, I promise, I just need to take a quick shower", she yelled back.
"Well you might as well move over, 'cause I 'm coming in there with you. I can't waste
too much time, I gotta go meet up with the crew."
After a fifteen minute shower together, Gina and I got dressed. Unable to touch her, due
to time restraints, I was forced to admire her from afar. She put on a beautiful sundress with
some white thong sandals, some chandelier earrings, with a little bit of MAC lip gloss. With her
short hairstyle, the outfit accented her facial features and her neckline, the lip gloss, perfectly
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applied, accentuated hr fill lips. My very own goddess.
I threw on a brown, plaid, Girbaud short sleeve button up, with some light brown Girbaud
khakis shorts, some tan and brown Timberland boat shoes, and a Cleveland Browns snapback. I
topped it off with a platinum Cartier watch, and my Cartier wood grain frames. I wanted to be
professional, but look like a meant business; I'm not quite sure if I pulled it off.
I called Brian, and told him to bring Twan and meet me at the American Grille on Inkster
Road. I did the same with Tae and TJ. Before leaving the condo Gina grabbed her clutch and a
sweater, and I grabbed five grand from the stash and my pistol. You can never be to safe. But
the day was set to be a good day, a special day. I would meet up with the fellas to discuss the
Malcolm situation, and when I'm through with that, the rest of the day would be dedicated to
Gina.
"Here you drive", I said, tossing Gina the keys to the Porsche.
"Don't play with me, boy", she said, smiling, knowing that I don't let anyone drive my
car; my momma hasn't even driven my car yet.
"I ain't playing, girl."
She hugged me and ran to the car.
"Don't get too attached", I said, opening the passenger door.
I watched her as she giddily started the car and put on her seat belt. After adjusting the
seat, she reached to turn on the radio. I slapped her hand.
"Don't touch my radio, girl you crazy. I give you a inch and you take a mile. Your best
bet is to do like Rihatma say, just shut up and drive."
I put Jay-Z and Kanye's "Watch the Throne". While we were riding down Cherry Hill, I
by: Melvin Spencer
smiled to myself. I was with the love of my life, in a brand new Porsche 911, and on my way to
a meeting with my crew that was gonna get us all caked up. Things were definitely about to
change.
"Why are we coming here anyway? I thought we were going to Denny's", Gina asked
while pulling into the small parking lot of the small diner on the corner of Inkster Road and
Michigan Avenue.
"We are going to Denny's. First, I gotta handle some business. I need you to take this
fifteen hundred dollars, and go get you a nice outfit; preferably something elegant like a dress
and some heels. The I need you to stop by 4Men and tell Monty that you picking up my outfit
and shoes; it's already paid for. When I call you come back and get me", I informed her, as she
grabbed the money from my hand and counted it. "And, Gina, don't be rag dolling my whip."
"Boy, ain't nobody goin' mess up yo damn car. Now give me a kiss."
I kissed her luscious lips before getting out of the car. The kiss left me with lip gloss on
my lips, but I didn't mind having her kiss lingering on my lips. I leaned into the passenger side
window after I got out of the car.
"And don't touch my radio", I added with a playful smile
"Whatever, nigga. I'll be back."
I watched her a she pulled off in the cherry red Porsche, the paint shining, and the rims
gleaming I was in love. I loved Gina also. Brian and Twan pulled up while I walked inside the
diner, and TJ was already there, holding us a booth. We all dapped each other up, and sat down
while the waitress, a pudgy, short, chocolate woman, probably in her mid-forties, came over to
take our orders.
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Twan and Brian ordered biscuits and gravy, with strawberry pancakes on the side, adding
to their twin like behavior, and the on-going joke that they were supposed to be twins. TJ
ordered a breakfast burrito with hash browns and toast, and I ordered some turkey-ham and
cheese eggs; and we all got orange juices.
"Damn! Are you on a diet?", Brian asked, prompting laughter from everyone else,
except for TJ, who never really seemed to smile much, for that matter.
I smiled. "Now, Gina and I are going out to eat after I leave here, and I don't wanna spoil
my appetite, but that liquor from last night got my stomach on empty. So, I'ma eat these eggs to
stop my stomach from growling at me."
"Speaking of last night." TJ paused while the waitress sat our food down on the table.
When she left, he continued. "Niggaz told me what happened between you and Ant. You ain't
got no cape on, do you?"
"Now, he had Tracy gripped up by the arm. You know I don't play that shit", I said
sipping from my unusually tall glass of orange juice.
"On some real shit, bro; Ant called me this morning telling me to tell you he didn't mean
that shit last night, that he was on some drunk shit. Copping pleas and shit. I told him to tell you
his self, I wasn't telling you shit."
"YOU JUST TOLD HIM!", Twan exclaimed, looking at TJ with his eyebrows furrowed.
We all laughed. Even TJ allowed his lips to curl up a little.
"Yo, where the fuck is Tae", I asked, looking out of the window. Just then, he came into
the diner, only it appeared that he had come through a backdoor.
"Where the fuck you come from?", Brian asked, nibbling on his pancakes.
by: Melvin Spencer
Tae pulled up a chair from the table across from us and sat down. "I parked around back.
What's popping?"
"Ain't shit; you ain't eating nothing?", Twan asked, as he shoveled down some of his
biscuit and gravy.
"Naw, bro, I gotta take moms back her car."
"Bro, you need to get yo own shit", I said, laughing.
"Fuck you, Marv! Everybody ain't got Porsche money like you."
Tae wore a crooked smile on his face, as if to display a playful countenance, but I sensed
animosity behind those words. I was only joking with Tae about the car shit, and it appeared to
get under his skin more than usual. I know how it is growing up with nothing; my mom didn't
come up on money until I was in my freshman year of high school, but before that we were
struggling just like everybody else. But I felt like there was something underlying just mere
jealousy, but I smiled back at him
"Well, we all about to get this money; you little funny looking muthafucka. Look, TJ put
us down with the lick on Malcolm. Tae, are you still talking to `ol girl?"
"Yeah, she said everyday Malcolm comes in at eight, and he never goes out to party on
weeknights. She said it's just her, him, and his cousin in the spot", Tae confirmed, seemingly
normal again.
"Cool! We hit them at eleven-thirty, and we leave no witnesses. Brian you're driving. I
got a who-ride from Bear in the Gardens, so we good on that. Me, Tae, and TJ goin' run in the
spot. Twan, you stay outside the door and make sure nobody gets in or out, except for us. We
have to get in and get out. Any questions?"
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I looked at my group of friends. These are the people I grew up with, since we were kids.
We were all growing up fast, possibly too fast. We were approaching manhood at a warped
speed, and there was no slowing down from here. Everyone was ready to do this, and do this we
shall; there's no other choice.
I continued. "If there are no questions, I got a few more things, then we can break out.
My brother got the steez on the cats that ran up in the crib, and if all goes well with these next
two licks, we'll be set with the work. We're not fucking with weed anymore; we got the lil
homies to handle that shit, and my side chick is gonna be holding the weight when it comes to
the weed."
"You ain't got no side chick! You know Gina a beat that ass", Twan said, causing
everyone to laugh.
I paid the laughter no mind. I just took out my phone, pressed the number five, because I
had Tracy on speed dial, and put it on speakerphone. Tracy answered after two rings.
"Hey, baby."
"What's up? Who dis?"
"Nigga, who did you call? It's Tracy."
I watched everyone's facial expressions as the realized that it was Tracy on the other end
of the call. There was shock and surprise, I even thought I saw a hint of disappointment and,
maybe, anger in Tae's face. My friends knew, if anyone knew me, it was these four guys, but
none of them expected me to pull some shit like this off.
"What I tell you about that nigga shit? I'm yo man, and you will address me as such."
"Whatever, nigga. What does my man want?"
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"I wanna let you know that I'ma be busy today, I gotta handle something with Gina, but I
wawa get up with you first thing tomorrow. Cool?"
"Alright. I love you, Marvin.
"I love you too, lil mama."
I ended the call. My four friends stared at me with their mouths suspended, wondering
how I pulled something like that off. I can't lie, I was trying to stunt, and by the looks on their
faces, it seemed that I'd succeeded. I'm sure everyone had their opinions, yet no one spoke
them, so I continued where I left off.
"So, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by your doubt and disbelief, my side
chick's gonna handle the weed."
"That's why you put yo cape on at the bowling alley last night", Twan said, laughing.
"Hell yeah!" I couldn't lie. "I love that girl just as much as I love Gina, so, on some real
shit, treat her with the same respect; all jokes aside. We fucking with work now, and that is
gonna bring in some real paper. But we all know that more money buys more beef. So we have
to move as a unit, and we have to stay loyal to this unit. If anybody ain't feeling that let me
know now... .Good! Now let's get this money."
"Well, since you talking this big money shit, you can pay for this food", Brian suggested,
as everyone stood up, preparing to leave.
"I got it. Ya'll be cool, and I'ma hit ya'll Tuesday with the details and logistics
pertaining to Thursday's mission."
"I love it when you use big words", Twan said, jokingly as the moved towards the door.
I called Gina, who was already on her way, paid for the food, and tipped the waitress. I
You Win Some.... You Lose Some 138 by: Melvin Spencer
stood outside, smoking a Newport. I thought about what I was getting myself into It's a dirty
game in the streets, and I was well aware of that. I'd witnessed my brother maneuver through
the maze for years, and I know, sometimes, you run into a dead end, but when you get to that
cheese!
There are others in the maze, and everybody don't play fair, but all I know is, I'm going
to win, and I'm not taken no losses. After them cowards robbed me and left me for dead, my
mind is in a different place. If I'm going to be in the game, I'm going to be a owner; I'll let the
players do all the work. But sometimes the owner has to get his hands a little dirty also, and
right now I'm feeling like Mark Cuban. Championships come at a price, and I'd already paid my
dues, in blood. Now it's time to lock this shit up.
But I couldn't think about any of that right now. Today and tomorrow are days that I've
set aside and dedicated to my two queens. I've made plans, big plans, to show them my
appreciation, and to show them how much I care.
Soon Gina pulled up. "Damn, girl, it took you long enough. You been stuntin' in
shit!"
"Niggaz and bitches was hating when I hopped out behind the bus stop. Then when I
came out with these bags, the mugs got meaner, and you know some lame ass dudes tried to
holla", she said, laughing to herself.
"How many numbers did you get?", I asked as she pulled out of the parking lot.
"You know I only have eyes for you."
"That was so corny."
"If corny is sexy then that's what I am", she commented with a smile. "Which Denny's
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are we going to?"
"The one in Romulus; and take the scenic route."
"Have you sent in all of your college applications?", Gina asked as we drove down
Michigan Avenue, pass strip clubs and automotive plants alike
"I've mailed some."
"Marvin, you have to start mailing those in. There is a deadline, you know"
"I know; maybe you can help me with mine."
"Yeah, whatever."
"I don't see what the big deal is", I said, exasperation flowing from my words.
"It's a very big deal, Marvin", she exclaimed. "You know what? If you wanna stay in
the city, that's on you, but that's not the life I want"
We both grew silent, as we passed a wooded area. Nothing like the woods you might see
in the country, or in the Northwestern part of the United States, but a small wooded area with
trees that would soon be cut down to make way for condominiums or new houses, or maybe even
a strip mall. I looked at the trees that stood tall, that didn't waver at the root of it, that didn't
move, that couldn't move. What a life Mr a living thing. The plight of the living Although it
seems that life would come with choices for one living thing and not the other, we were all
destined for one thing.
"What's up with all the clothes? What are we doing tonight?", Gina asked.
"Don't you worry your big... .1 mean, your pretty little head. Your man is going to cater
to you tonight", I said with a smile, letting my seat recline, and again, she rolled her eyes.
After Denny's, we went to visit my mom, and after they both lectured me on how
You Win Some You Lose Some
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important college was to my future, we went back to the condo to get ready for the night. We
took a bath together, washing each other, pleasing each other, teasing each other. Following the
bathing process, we applied lotion to each other, taking out time to feel each other's skin, to
reacquaint ourselves, as if there might be a part of each other's body that we hadn't explored
previously. Or maybe there were favorite places that we didn't mind revisiting over and over
again.
I let Gina get dressed in her room, and I grabbed my clothes and went into the other
room, before we started something that would keep us in and make us miss out on the plans that I
had for the night. Monty hooked me up for this special occasion. I'm not really a suit and tie
guy, maybe when I get older, so I just got some black Annani Exchange slacks, with the belt to
match. I was really on my grown man with this shit. I got some black and gray Mauri's, with
some black casual socks. I topped it all off with a black and gray Gucci sweater, with the
matching skull cap.
Since this was a special occasion, I pulled out the gold Rolex ring, the gold Rolex watch,
and the gold rope chain. I adorned my face with the gold Cartier frames, and a gold one caret
earring in each ear. I looked at myself in the full length mirror that hung on the inside of the
closet door; I was ready.
I walked through the hall, and noticed Gina checking herself out in the mirror. I watched
her from the doorway. I took her in with my eyes, taking in every curve. I could never get tired
of her beauty. She had on a banging black dress by Dolce and Gabanna, with some black Prada
heels The dress flowed out at the bottom, stopping just above the knees. Beautiful. Like a
princess on her way to the ball. I noticed she had on some chandelier earrings.
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"Yo, take those earrings out", I said walking into the room. "I got the perfect pair for
you."
I went into the closet, and pulled out a bag that read 'Kay Jewelers' on the front. I pulled
four jewelry boxes from the bag and sat them down on the dresser, consecutively. I opened the
first one and presented Gina with a pair of two caret earrings. She looked at the earrings that put
a sparkle in her eyes as they gleamed.
"Baby, these are so beautiful, thank you so much", she said as she put them in her ears
and looked at herself in the mirror again.
"No, baby, you're beautiful; and thank you, for being here for me", I said as I picked up
the next box that contained a diamond tennis bracelet, and I opened it.
Her mouth fell open at the sight of the bracelet, and I put it around her slender right wrist,
and watched as it fit her perfectly. She wanted to speak, but it seemed that she was speechless.
"Wait, before you say anything else."
I grabbed the box that contained a platinum Cartier watch, and open it before her eyes,
taking it out of the box with delicacy and care, and putting it on the wrist opposite of the tennis
bracelet.
"Baby, this is too much", she exclaimed.
"Actually, it's not enough", I said as I grabbed the last box, walked behind her, kissed her
neck, and placed the four caret diamond necklace around it.
Tears of joy and love formed in her eyes, and I wiped them away with my forefinger as
they fell.
"Gina, you mean so much to me, and I want to be all that and more for you. These gifts
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are a token of my appreciation, but they're only a drop in a bucket compared to what you're truly
worth. This is the beginning of a new journey for us, and I want you to know that it's only
gonna get better for us, and that my love for you grows with each passing day."
She turned around and kissed me, softly, as to not messed up her perfectly applied lipgloss.
"I love you so much, Marvin, and that's never gonna change, no matter what."
"I love you too, Boo. Now let's go and show the city how we get down."
The night was beautiful! We caught Kevin hart's stand-up show at the Fox Theater, and
afterwards we hit a nice jazz club for some food, some soft jazz tunes, and some spoken word
poetry. Kevin was hilarious, the jazz was impeccable, the food was delicious, and the poetry was
remarkable; the night, as a whole, was incredible. It was a dream night; the only thing missing
was a fairytale ending.
"Baby, thank you for tonight, everything was amazingly beautiful; if that's a way to
describe it", she said, with a smile.
"That's the perfect way to describe it, and it's all because of you", I assured her, kissing
her lips as we walked into the condo.
After changing into something more comfortable, Gina in my Detroit Lions jersey, and I
into a beater, some Nike shorts, and some Nike flip flops, we sat down on the couch to watch
'Family Guy'. I looked at Gina.
"Baby, can you get me some iced water."
I'd set something in the freezer for her to find. A box that I know she's going to be nosy
enough to open and look inside; she can't help herself. She got up and went into the kitchen
by: Melvin Spencer
area. I listened attentively, muting the television, trying to hear the freezer door open so I could
anticipate the moment she found it. I waited Then I heard it. The deafening scream that came from the kitchen. She ran back into the
living area, the box in her hand, and a smile the size of Texas covering her face.
"Marvin, you didn't! please tell me you didn't do this!", she said with excitement.
"Hell flaw, I didn't! Let me see that girl!"
She stuck out her hand, not letting go of the box that held the three caret platinum ring.
"Who the hell would break into my crib, and leave a three caret ring in my freezer?"
"Boy, stop playing."
"I ain't playing; was the receipt in there too? 'Cause I can take this back and get the
money for it?", I said, unable to contain my smile.
She kissed me. "I love you, Marv."
"I love you too, Boo I know you said you want to wait to get married. So, this is just a
promise ring; symbolic of my promise to always be here for you and to love you
unconditionally."
Gina kissed me again, hard and passionately. I led her back to her room, without
breaking our lip lock, or our embrace. We peeled each other's clothes off, falling onto the bed
completely naked. I kissed every part of her beautiful body, visiting the best sight, and soon
stopping at my favorite place for an attentive lap or two. I made love to her with my tongue.
She tasted so sweet. I licked and sucked on her treasure chest until I felt her body coming unlock
as it shook like an earthquake. I allowed my tongue to attend to her until she came again, and
she begged me to make love to her.
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I entered her slowly, taking my time, wanting to feel her. She moaned rhythmically, intuned with my strokes. I kissed her passionately with every stroke, our tongues doing a new
dance. Not breaking our embrace, our connection, she rolled over and was on top of me in one
fluid motion.
She'd never felt this good before, and I never loved her more than in this moment. We'd
had sex dozens of times before, but this was something different, something spiritual, like being
in another world where everything was orgasmic bliss. I kissed her as she rode me, in search of
the finish line. Our spirits were aligned. She collapsed on top of me as we came together, and
with a smile, I thought to myself, HAPPY EVER AFTER.
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Chapter 16
I dropped Gina off at something after eight the next morning. Her family was big on
religion, and Sunday morning services were obligatory events. I can remember my mother
taking me to church when I was young, but as I came into my preteen years, I can only
remember going to church on Easter Sunday, and eventually it stopped altogether. My mother
still goes whenever she feels the need to clear her conscience about one thing or another, but she
hasn't made me go since middle school. I'm not quite sure what I believe, but I'm quite sure that
there's a God somewhere in this universe, and a part of me, somewhere deep down, wants to
know Him in an intimate way; be in-tuned with Him the way Jesus was.
As I drive away from Gina's, I call Tracy.
"Hello", she answers her cell, after the fourth ring, half-asleep.
"Wake up, sleepyhead. Meet me at the condo at nine o'clock sharp. We have big plans."
"Nine o'clock this morning?", she asked, her voice groggy, yet, somehow, still sexy.
"Yes, my little Sleeping Beauty."
"Why so early?"
"I'll explain everything when you get to the condo. Love you. Bye."
I rushed her off of the phone. I didn't want her asking too many questions. I had plans
for us, and I wanted it all to be a surprise. As much as I knew Gina enjoyed the elegant things,
sort of like an older kid who enjoys playing dress up, I knew, equally, that Tracy was the exact
opposite. Tracy isn't quite the dressy type; she can when she needs to, but she prefers and enjoys
simplicity. The simple things in life mattered to her. She always assured me that she didn't care
what I had as long as she had me. So, for her, I have planned a day of exquisite simplicity.
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I got back to the condo before Tracy arrived. From the kitchen, I heard her when she
came in. I anticipated her every move, from her shutting the door behind her when she came
through the door, to her setting her purse down on the couch before coming towards the kitchen.
"Baby, are you cooking?", she asked, shock in her voice as she smelled the food coming
from the Teflon frying pan.
"Yup. Now, you make yourself comfortable on the couch, and let me feed my baby."
"Who else is here?"
"Nobody's here", I started, but then I smiled at her as she raised her blonde eyebrows.
"Ah, that was a good one", I acknowledged, finally catching one to the joke.
"I got a smart one", she said, kissing my cheek and going into the living-room.
When I came out of the kitchen, with her plate of fried potatoes, turkey bacon, beef
sausage links, cheese eggs, and four biscuits, she was on the couch watching reruns of "Martin"
on MTV2.
"Baby, I can't eat all of this", she said, looking at the mountain of food.
"I'll help you", I assured her as I went to grab a carton of orange juice from the fridge.
I sat the carton of orange juice down on the coffee table, and plopped down beside her.
We sat and fed each other, while laughing at Martin; an episode were he has his apartment
broken into and he's started a watch program in his building, where attempts to train his
girlfriend (who just happens to be named Gina) and his friends in the art of protecting their
home. The show ended with the supposed police officer being the crook and his girlfriend
catching the robber.
"Man, they don't make shows like that anymore", I said as I got up took take the dishes
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and the empty orange juice carton back into the kitchen. Coming back into the living area, I
kissed Tracy on the cheek. "Get my keys, lil mama; it's time to go."
"Where we going, Marv?"
"We're going to Southland Mall, in Taylor."
"Why we gotta go all the way out there?", she asked, as she pushed herself up from the
couch.
"Because, it's scenic, and I love white malls; now let's go."
Tracy and I walked around Southland Mall hand and hand; not really looking for
anything in particular to purchase, just enjoying the scenery that the mall, unlike the malls
around our way, had to offer, and enjoying the time we were spending together. We talked. We
talked about music, entertainment, sports, and anything else that came to mind. We received a
lot of evil looks from the "Good White Folks" that frequented the mall, but we ignored them,
enjoying each other's company.
"So tell me about your family", Tracy said as we walked past an Old Navy store.
"Well, I was born March 27th , 1991, to my biological mother, April Williams. My father,
I don't remember him, or if he was even around. For reasons I'm not sure of, I was taken from
my mother around the age athree. I was bounced from foster home to foster home, until I five,
when I ended up with the woman I now call mom; Dorothy 'Dot' Cox. She already had a son,
Antonio 'Tone' Cox. He's fourteen years older than me, and is the only father figure I've ever
had. My brother was my hero growing up; he still is.
"My mother is way old fashion! She grew up in Memphis, Tennessee, with a bunch of
brothers and sisters; I still don't know them all. She was strict when I was growing up, she's not
by: Melvin Spencer
so much now, and she kept me on a short leash. I guess she was trying to protect me from the
streets. When I got older and my friends started hanging out later, and doing things that normal
teens do, I was stuck in the house, and when I was allowed to go outside, I had to stay on my
block.
"My brother would come and get me on the weekends. His town house, out here in
Taylor, had the same rules that apply in the city; do whatever you want, but clean up after
yourself. He was doing good, job wise, and hustling, so he had all the latest things. I'd call my
boys, or my girl over, and we'd have a ball."
"You sound like you really love your brother", Tracy said, looking at me and listening to
me attentively.
"I do", I admitted. "I mean, I love my mother too, even though we've had our battles, but
Tone is my hero, mentor, father, and brother all rolled up in one."
We wallced around the mall a little bit longer before I could no longer resist the urge to
shop. We purchased matching Air Force Ones, all white with the bubble gum bottoms and the
bubble checks. We got airbrushed tee shirts with our names on them, with matching Nike
headbands. We also stopped at FYE music store to check out some CD's. After browsing for a
little while, Tracy ended getting Alicia Keys' "Songs in A Minor" and "Girl on Fire", and I
picked up Kanye West's "College Dropout".
We left the mall at noon, and made our way home. After a quick shower and changing
into our matching outfits, we headed back out. Our day was just getting started. I could see the
happiness in Tracy's features, and it brought a smile to my face, knowing that I could make her
happy. When I pulled into the Skateland West parking lot, Tracy's features got brighter, her face
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lighting up with excitement.
"Baby, we're going skating?"
"Yeah, lil mama. I figured you like it; plus, I need you to show me some moves, I'm
lcinda rusty."
"I just hope you can keep up,"
"Girl, you talking all that cash right now; I hope you got some money in the bank."
We hurried inside, rented our skates, and went straight to the floor. I'm a decent skater. I
had skates when I was younger, and I used to skate around in my backyard all day, when I was
younger. I remember breaking one of my skates, and pushing myself around with just the one I
had left. I'm better now, and I think it helped that I'd seen "ATL" and "Roll Bounce" at least
ten times each.
We skated holding hands, we showed each other tricks, although she knew twice as many.
as I knew, we raced around the rink, and we even did a couples skate together. Sometimes I sat
on the side catching my breath, and catching glimpses of Tracy in a way I'd never seen her
before. She was beautiful, and her smile and her happiness was infectious. She looked like she
was truly in a state of bliss, like nothing could harm her in this moment, except maybe falling.
After skating for awhile, we sat and ate lunch. The rink was mostly empty, except for a
few older couples enjoying a day out together and the old school music that played during this
time. Tracy and I watched the old school skaters do their little tricks and renew their love as they
seemed to glide across the floor effortlessly. As we watched, we ate from a large veggie pins,
washing it down with a couple of orange sodas.
"So, tell me about your family", I said as I bite into a slice.
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"As you know, or you better know, I was born February 24 th, 1991. Me, my mom, and
my dad stayed in Lincoln Park until my mom got tired of my dad cheating on her and beating on
her, and they got a divorce. I was six at the time. I remember sitting up late, hoping my dad
would come back, because even though he didn't get along too well with my mother, I loved him
and I believed that he loved me.
"I would stay up, late, looking out of the window, waiting for his Lincoln Towncar to
pull into the driveway, and for him to come into the house and tell me that he was back for good,
and he would never leave me again. One night, when I was up late again, crying, my mother
came into my room and broke everything down to me, and to me that my dad had a new family
now, and that he had moved to Flint and he wasn't coming back."
She paused for a moment, looking down at the medley of veggies piled on top of the
thinly pressed dough that was saturated in a thick tomato-y pi77a sauce and cheese. I looked into
• her soul, searching for some semblance of that six year old girl who sat up all night looking out
her window, crying, waiting for her father to come back. What I found was myself in her tears,
as I remembered crying for my birth mother as they took me away from her. I reached for her
hand, and gave it a light squeeze, reminding her that I was here for her.
"When I was seven", she found the heart to continue. "Me and my mom moved in with
my brother's dad, Maurice, on Joy Road and Mansfield, where we are now, where we've been
• since then. He's never tried to be my dad, but he's always been good to me and my mom, the
way a real man should be. My mom had my brother when I was eight, and here we are."
"So, do you still miss your dad?" I asked, not wanting to shy away from the hard
questions.
by: Melvin Spencer
"I think about him sometimes.....and I wonder if we have an internal bond that will one
day reunite us. Know what I'm saying?", she looked at me earnestly. "I can't really articulate it
any better than that."
She smiled sheepishly.
"No, I know exactly what you mean. That's how I feel when I' m with you; like there's
this special, intangible, force that draws me to you. I hope I don't sound crazy", I admitted.
"No, baby, you don't. I feel the same way about you."
I got up from the table and kissed her on her forehead as I grab her hand. "Come on, let's
see what your hoop skills are like."
We took off the skates for a second, and played the arcade games. We went to the
basketball arcade game, where she beat me twice and I only won once. Then we played "Mr.
and Mrs. Pacman". I smashed her twice She didn't even make it to the strawberry. (the second
level). We also played "Test Drive" and I was the faster and more efficient driver.
After all the bragging rights were won, we put our skates back on and hit the floor again.
When they slowed down the music, the DJ ended the session with Boyz H Men's "I'll Make
Love To You". We skated slowly. Me holding her waist as I skated backwards, and her arms
around my neck as she looked into my eyes.
"You know my mother told me not to mess with you", I admitted out of nowhere,
probably because I wanted to be straight up with Tracy; I wanted what we had to be real.
"Why did she say that? Did you tell her about us?"
"No, I didn't; I still haven't. I guess it was her intuition. I think she felt something
between us before I did. The day of TJ's party when I stayed back to talk to her, that's what she
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told me. The creepy thing is that I haven't been known to mess around when I'm in a serious
relationship, and she knows that ."
"Why do you think she said that?", she asked, wanting my honest opinion.
"I think it's because you're white. She's not racist, but like I said, she grew up in the
south at a time when it wasn't acceptable for a black man to look at a white woman, let alone
date one. I think she's scared of what the world would say, or even do, if we were together. it's
easier for a black man to be with a black woman. It's more acceptable. When we went to
Fairlane that day your people weren't home, I saw a lot of extra stares. At first, I thought they
were hating on me, hating on my swag, but I soon realized they were mad that I was with a white
girl."
"How do you feel now?"
"Fuck what everybody else thinks. I love you and you love me, and that's all that
matters. It's sad, at least to me it is, that we've come so far and people still can't see pass racial
lines I mean, I'm proud to be a black man and I love my people, but that doesn't have any
bearing on how I feel about everybody else. Do I have to hate everyone else in order to love my
people? The shit is crazy!"
We ended the skating session with a kiss, like a scene out of a romantic comedy, and
made our way out of the building, back to the car after collecting our things. I thought about our
conversations as I drove up Cherry Hill, stopping at a red light on Middlebelt. It felt good to talk
openly and honestly with Tracy; I felt like it made us even closer. I made a right when the light
turned green, a pulled into the Diary Queen on the right side of the street. I held Tracy's hand
proudly as we walked up to the window to place our order.
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"Hi, welcome to Diary Queen; how may I help you", a young, tanned, white girl asked,
with a smile that made her look like she was auditioning for a Colgate commercial.
"What do you want?", I asked Tracy.
"Cookies and Cream", she answered, now holding onto my arm. "In a cup."
"I'll take a medium Cookies and Cream in a cup, and a medium Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dough in a cup. Please."
Getting our ice creams, we sat down at a table outside of the Diary Queen under an
umbrella that did very little in the way of protecting us from the beating sun, the tables around
us were filled with teenagers looking for a way to keep cool, and court, as my mother would say,
without their parents interference. I watched Tracy as she scoop some of her ice cream into the
red plastic spoon.
"What are your plans for the future, Ms. Tracy Hazelton?"
"I don't know; I was thinking about nursing school, but I always wanted to be a teacher."
"I think both of those professions are admirable choices, but I think teaching is one of the
most thankless jobs in America. The kids get worse with each generation, and they don't even
understand the amount of stress the teacher is already under without them coming in and acting
out. And the parents want the teachers to be both teacher and parent; and to top it off, the pay is
horrible, not to mention the lack of funding, by the state, for adequate learning utensils such as
books, computers, and educational field trips."
"You seem to have a lot of insight into the plight of teachers", she said with a smile as
her lips closed around the red spoon that held a mound of cookies and cream.
"I was one of those bad ass kids", I admitted, eating some of my own ice cream. "But I
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think you'll make a great teacher. You have a caring and patient spirit, and you're just
absolutely adorable. Hey, maybe you can be a Black History teacher, Sistah Soulja."
We both laughed.
I looked at my watch. "Four o'clock. Good, we still got time", I exclaimed.
"Time for what, Marv?"
"Come on, you'll love it", I assured her as I got up and she followed suit.
Fifteen minutes later
we
were pulling up to the "Go-Kart Center". As I helped Tracy out
of the car, a woman passed us with two twin girls in toe, and a new born dangling from her arm
in a fancy car-seat I could see a longing in Tracy's eyes, if only for a brief moment, that
frightened me. Did she want kids? And if so, how soon? She seemed to snap out of her trance,
as quickly as she fell into it.
"Oh! I know you ain't tryna race me, are you?", she asked, her blue eyes shining in the
sunlight, transforming them into oceans.
"I'll tell you what." I kissed her, unable to resist the urge. "We'll do the best out of
three. If you win, you get to drive the Porsche home, and if I win, you gotta give me a foot
massage. Deal?"
She kissed me again. "Bring it on, big boy."
When we were inside the building that could've just as easily been a warehouse, and
everything was paid for, we strapped ourselves into the miniature cars, that was lacking side
paneling, a roof, and, most importantly, a stereo system, and we prepared to race. I looked over
at Tracy as we sat at the starting line, and she had her game face on, ever the competitor. I got
focused on the task ahead.
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A light that was off to the side went from red to green, and we both stepped on the gas. I
was faster on the take off, but she was tighter on the turns, so she caught up to me quickly. We
raced each other hard, bumping into one another, trying to get the upper hand. After a few
bumps, I put her into the black padded wall, and ended up winning the first round.
"I can feel that foot massage now", I joked as we revved up for round two.
Round two was more in her favor than in mine. Again, I beat her off of the line, but her
precision steering, and her ability to maneuver in order to get up to my bumper and get me loose
during a turn, allowed her to catch me and eventually pass me for the win.
"Revenge is sweet, but it's even sweeter on the driver's side of a brand new Porsche",
Tracy said teasingly.
I was focused; so focused that on the start I pressed the brake pedal instead of the gas,
and she got a sizable lead on me. She must've noticed my mishap and got a little too excited,
because she made a wide turn and hit the wall, causing her to have to regain control of the kart. I
caught up to her, and took the inside position, and coming around the last turn, I made a wide
turn that forced her to veer into the wall, and I inched her out at the finish line.
"I can't wait for that massage", I said as I climbed out of the cramped kart, my smile as
big as Oprah Winfrey's guest house. "And my feet are sweaty."
"You got lucky, Marv."
"No, that was a NASCAR move. Kyle Busch taught me that."
"Whatever! Let's go", Tracy said, walking outside.
The sun was still high in the sky when we came out of the building, and the heat was at
its peak, ready to start a steady decline into one of the cool summer nights that Michigan is
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known for. I kissed the top of Tracy's head as we made our way to the car.
"Here, you drive", I said, giving her the keys.
She smiled at me, and I returned it. A smile that told her that I wanted to give her the
world, and I was trying my best to do that for her.
"Thank you, Marv", she said, kissing my lips; the thank you being for the love I
dispensed, not that I'd let her drive my car.
"Thank you, my ass. You still owe me a foot massage", I reminded her as we got into the
car. "Hold does fish sound for dinner?"
"I'll have what you're having."
"I'm having you."
"Aren't you tired of eating that?", she asked with a seductive smile.
"Nope. It tastes so good", I said, pulling out my cell-phone.
I called "Fisherman's Net", a local spot in Inkster that makes the best fish sandwiches I'd
ever tasted. I ordered twenty fried shrimps, two double whiting sandwiches on rye, a crate of
French fries, and lots of hot sauce. We picked up the food on the way to the condo, me not
taking into account the fact that the fish smell would seep into the interior of my car.
When we got back to the condo, I made our plates, reheated them, and poured two
glasses of grape Kool-Aid, which made me wonder why I like grape Kool-Aid so much? Is there
something about my blackness, something in my DNA that makes me like grape Kool-Aid so
much? Anyway, I put my favorite love story, "Pride and Prejudice", in the DVD player. We ate
and watched the movie. I love the main character, Elizabeth, because she's smart, witty,
outgoing, outspoken, and she has these beautifiil eyes that compliment he gorgeous smile. Plus,
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in the end, she recognizes her prideful ways, and owns up to it. That's sexy in a woman O.
"Who is that disturbing my movie?", I asked, monotonously as halfway through the
movie the door bell rang. "Tracy, can you get that for me, Love?"
Tracy opened the door. Brian, Twan, TJ, and Cherish was standing there with roses, a
card, a teddy bear, and bag that read "Kay Jewelers". Tracy looked back at me. I smiled and
hunched my shoulders, as if I had no idea why these people, my friends, were standing at the
door with gifts in their hands.
"Come on in, you guys", I called from the couch.
They all came in and stood, robotically, in a row. Brian soon stepped forward with the
teddy bear. Looking down at his cue card that I'd written out, he read.
"This bear is to show you that I can't bear to be without you", he read, presenting the
brown stuffed animal to a blushing Tracy.
Again Tracy looked back at me, her smile telling me that she was liking the display.
Tracy received the bear, and Brian stepped back, prompting Twan to step forward.
"Do I have to say this? It's so corny", he exclaimed, offering resistance, shaking his
head, but I gave him a stem look, and he went into his scripted monologue.
"These roses, with the thorns, are to show you that anytime you experience pain,
something beautiful will come from it."
Twan stepped back, and TJ stepped forward, opened the card, and read the poem inside.
How can I describe what I feel as real,
With only words to explain.
From the trials to the smiles,
From the joys to the pain.
With our love from above,
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With the sunshine and the rain.
Through thick and thin,
Until the end,
My love will remain.
I love you, Trace.
"Well, not exactly me", he started to explain. "But, uh, you... .you get the picture."
"Yes, TJ, we get the picture, now step back, please", I said, loving every minute of this.
Cherish stepped forward, and took a box out of the "Kay Jewelers" bag. Tracy's face lit
up as Cherish began to read her lines.
"With this ring, I promise to love you and be there for you forever and a day."
Cherish let the bag fall near her feet, and started to open the box. The box was opened
and presented to Tracy; her blue eyes looked wondrously at the three caret ring set in rose gold.
She ran to me and hugged me, leaving Cherish there to hold the ring, but Cherish didn't seem to
mind, because her smile was almost as big as Tracy's, and her face shone in a innocent
wonderment at the sight of true love.
"Thank you, so much, baby. I love you, I love you, I love you", she reiterated in-between
kisses.
"Thank them", I told her, pointing to Brian, TJ, Twan, and Cherish. "They're the ones
that made all of this possible."
She ran to Brian and TJ, and kissed them on the cheek while giving them a hug. She also
did the same to Twan.
"Eww, girl, don't kiss me. I don't know where yo lips been", I expressed jokingly,
smiling at her affectionately.
She and Cherish embraced as if they were long lost sisters. I was happy for Tracy, she
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deserved all of this and more, and I was glad that I could be the one to give it to her. And
Cherish, I couldn't be more proud of her. She was definitely the definition of a definitive friend.
I winked at Cherish, she smiled back, and mouthed the words "I love you", and I returned the
same silent affirmation. "I love you, too."
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Chapter 17
Now that I'd spent time with Gina and Tracy, and my homeboys were on point about the
mission, it was time to holla at my brother about the new connect that he was lining up. I called
him as I got dressed, and heated up a bachelor's breakfast, Pop-Tarts.
"Brody, where you at?", I asked as he answered the phone.
"I'm at the crib; come through."
"Aight. I'll be there in a minute; ghost."
It was Thursday, afternoon, and my schedule was packed, but the main thing on my mind
was this lick tonight. If something went wrong, one of my boys could be lost, or even me,
myself But Malcolm had to pay, and the lick made the deal even sweeter. He was aiming to
kill, and if he hadn't shot blindly, Tae would probably be dead. Everybody ain't built for that
point blank range shit. Looking a man in his eyes, and taking his life, it has to be a hard thing to
digest. I've killed somebody before, admittedly, but I never had to watch them die. Maybe
tonight that would change.
When I walked up to the house, the same house that I'd grown up in, and created so many
memories in, I found Tone in the backyard feeding Dollars. When I came in the gate, Dollars
looked up from his bowl, quickly discarded it, ran, and jumped on me. I can't count how many
outfits this dog has mined.
"Hey boy. Whatcha doing boy?", I said in, hat seems to be, a universal language that's
reserved for puppies and babies, while rubbing his head and scratching behind his ears.
"You better watch out", my brother warned with a crooked smile. "He's been humping
everything in sight lately. Last night I caught him humping his doghouse."
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"So, what's popping with that connect?", I asked, letting Dollars go to finish his fine
meal of Kibbles and Bits.
"Oh yeah. You know Pretty Ricky, the half black, half Cuban cat we was getting the
weed from?"
"Yeah."
"Well, his cousin is some Cuban cat out of Miami. Said he'll be up here in a few weeks
to sit down and discuss prices; so make sure yo money is right, because the more we cop, the
cheaper the price."
"Cool. That means I gotta couple weeks to get my money up. What's up with them
dudes that ran up in the spot?", I asked, thinking about getting a little extra paper, but mainly I
was thinking about revenge.
"As you know, it was some Schoolcraft niggaz, but word on the streets is that they got a
little weed and dope spot right around the corner, on Ashbury Park Somebody tipped them off
that we were getting it so close to them, so they hit us. Crazy thing is we don't even work out of
the crib, so they really didn't have nothing to worry about; so that makes me think that somebody
hyped it up to make them think we was pumping out of the crib. Either way, it don't matter,
'cause I'ma kill them anyway."
"Bro, PMD (put me down). I gotta get this money. But we need to hit these niggaz
ASAP, I'm talking yesterday. Look, me and my crew goin' hit this Malcolm cat, the nigga that
shot Tae; we goin' hit him tonight. He's got work and money, so it's on with the work, but I
could use the extra cash from them Schoolcraft niggaz."
"You sure this isn't about getting revenge on the niggaz that shot you?", he asked,
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looking at me skeptically.
"Hell yeah, it's about getting revenge, but I could still use the money", I admitted.
Tone smiled at me; the smile of a teacher watching his student work through a problem,
or searching for a solution.
"Aight, I got you."
"Do you still got them throwaways for me? I'm gonna need them tonight", I asked,
remembering that I had inquired about some throwaway guns that I could use for tonight's lick.
"Yeah, I got those for you", he said, and I reached into my pocket to pay him for them.
"Keep yo money. But get back at me first thing tomorrow about that sitcho, and text me tonight
after you handle your B.I. just to let me know you're alright."
"Aight, bro. Love you, man."
"I love you too, fil bro."
I went into the house, got the throwaways from under the stairs in the basement, as Tone
instructed me to, and just as I was about to run back up the stairs, my mind conjured up a few
memories. I looked at the couch that Gina and I had sat on and watched movies so many times,
but the one time Tracy and I shared on that couch dominated my thoughts. Her watching the
movie with her legs folded on the couch, me holding her while she slept, her beautiful body on
full display for me to explore, the start of it all.
I shook the memory from my head and ran up the stairs, and out the back door. After
saying bye to my brother, again, I went to my car and put the guns in the trunk, under the spare
tire; and as I climbed into the driver seat of my sports car, and started it up, I called Brian.
"What up doe?", he answered, sounding a little out of breath.
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"It ain't shit. What you doing right now?"
"At the courts, showing these niggaz how to ball. Why, what's popping?"
"I need you to meet me at the crib, ASAP."
"I got you. Let me jump in the shower."
"Aight, bro."
"Ghost."
I stopped by the Chinese spot on Warren and Inkster Road, and got some General Tso's
chicken, some shrimp fried rice, and a couple of egg rolls, then I went to the condo. I waved to
the guard as I came through the gate, a woman this time, who smiled at me as she lifted the gate.
It would probably be a good thing not to try and bribe her, I thought as I pulled up in front of the
condo.
When I arrived inside, I plated my greasy food, and heated it up in the microwave. The
life of a bachelor! A bachelor who happens to have two women that he's dealing with. How
does that work, exactly? How do you label that? Would this still be considered a bachelor pad if
no one lives here but me, yet I have a girlfriend? Correction, two girlfriends? I'd have to
research that sometime. I sat down on the couch with my food and a twenty ounce Code Red
soda, turned on the television, and watched "NFL Live" as I ate to my heart's content.
"I can't wait for football season to start; 'cause I war= see what them Lions do", I said
to myself while eating.
Somebody knocked on the door soon after I'd finished my meal and placed the dish in the
dishwasher.
"Who dat?"
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"It's B!"
"Come in. It's open."
Brian dapped me up as he entered, and came over to the couch to sit down. "What up
doe?"
Brian was always fresh to death, but today he was fly. He had on some gray Girbaud
jeans, a gray and pink Los Angeles Lakers, Kobe Bryant, jersey, with a pink tee under it. He had
on the matching Hardwood Classic fitted hat, with a pink do-rag under it, and some gray and
pink Air Force Ones.
"Ain't shit. Where you going all fresh to death?", I asked.
"Chrissy want me to come through. You know Chrissy, right?"
"Yeah! Dark skin, long hair, pint ass!"
"Yeah! That's her. Ass is magnificent, and her walk is crazy; like so he got that shit
down to a science."
"Okay, I see you. But I wanted to holla at you about that sitcho tonight."
"We still on, right?", he asked curiously.
"Yeah, but do you think niggaz is ready for this shit. I mean, we all did our little dirt here
and there, some more than others, but this is a whole `nother ball game. I ain't got no problem
making this clown, but the robbery adds another element of danger to this shit. Ya feel me?
Killing someone and walking away is a fast deal, but robbing them, tearing up their spot, takes
time, and with time comes the possibility for mistakes."
"I know what you talking about, but if we stick to the plan, everything will go cool, then
we can fall back", Brian confidently, putting me at ease, a little.
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"Well, look, my brother just got us the connect out of Miami, so we gotta move whatever
we hit Malcolm for so we can get our money up. That means, for the next two weeks we gotta
grind hard. Get the rest of this weed off, I still have twenty pounds, and we move Malcolm's
work. We'll have to chill on the splurging for a little while, me especially, until we meet this
connect and see how much he goin' charge us for this work."
"Let's do this; I'm tired of watching these clown out here shine. Let's show em how we
get down."
"Remind everybody that we meet up at the Sunoco, at 10:30 pm; and look in the trunk of
my car, under the spare tire, and grab that brown paper bag; the guns are in there, so be careful",
I instructed him, as I threw him my car keys. "Just put the keys under the driver seat."
"Aight, bro. I'm ghost. I'll tell chrissy you said what up doe while I'm smacking that
ass."
I laughed at him. "Yeah, aight. You be cool out there."
"Cooler than a deep freezer inside of an igloo", he called as he closed the door behind
him.
I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and called TJ.
"What's popping, my gee?", he answered on the third ring.
"Ain't shit. Chilling at the crib. What you up to?"
"I'm 'bout to take Cherish, Tasha, Tiffany, and some of their friends to the pool."
"Why don't you bring them to the one over here? That pool be empty like a muthafucka;
they can have that shit all to themselves."
"Aight. You got some bud?"
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"Yeah, I got you. Just grab a pint, better yet, a fifth of Henny and come through. Tell the
guard at the gate to hit me when ya'll get here, and I'll buzz ya'll in."
"Cool! I'll see you in a minute."
TJ was my ace in the hole. Calm, cool, and collected, but wil murk somebody quick. We
know her has bodies, but nobody knows how many. He's so laid back, people mistake that for
timidness, and they end up like so many others. He's the silent but deadly type, and I definitely
needed that to help balance out Twan and Tae, who were obviously the wild cards.
Fifteen minutes after our conversation ended, I was buzzing TJ through the gate. He
knocked lightly as he came to the door. Knowing it was him, but still having to be cautious,
being that the last time I just opened the door for someone I &nut near got my head blew off, I
asked who was there. He announced himself, and I informed him that the door was unlocked.
"What's popping, Mani?"
"Ain't a whole lot; have a seat, while I get this weed for you."
When I came back with the weed, we sat on the couch, smoking and drinking as the
ESPN analyst broke down the teams for the coming NFL season.
"So, you ready for tonight?", TJ asked, while passing me the blunt.
"Yeah. Me and Brian was just talking about that shit. It has to be done quickly and with
precision. No fuck ups, feel me?"
"You know me; I stay on point."
"Well, if all goes well, I might have something else lined up for you."
"That's good looking, my gee. You know I could always use the extra shifts."
"Speaking of work, I got five pounds of Ghan for you; just bring me back five stacks."
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"Bet!"
"I'll get em to you this weekend", I said hitting the weed again.
Mother rap on the door pulled me from my clouded state of mind, and had me on my
toes instantly. Then I thought about Cherish and her friends being in the pool out there, figuring
it was Cherish or Tiffany coming to say hello.
"Who dat?"
"Meelca! Fm Tasha's friend."
I looked at TJ, and he confirmed that she was with them with a simple nod of his head as
he took hold off the blunt I had instinctively passed him.
"It's open."
Meeka walked into the condo, and my eyes beheld one of the most beautiful creatures I
had ever seen. At five foot three, maybe four inches tall, hair that fell to her back, mocha skin
that looked to be as smooth as a fresh tub of whipped cream, the face of an Egyptian princess,
small, yet, perky breast, a nice ass leading down to thick thighs, she was the definition of drop
dead gorgeous.
"You must be Marv", she said as she shut the door behind her.
I stood out of respect for this beautiful black woman, but mainly because her beauty
made me a little antsy, and I knew that I had to be on point and clear headed if I was going to
contain myself. I shook her hand, again not knowing what else to do, and she took me in as she
did a quick assessment of my swagger. A smile crept across her face as she did inventory on my
Dallas Mavericks Hardwood Classic jersey with the fitted cap to match, the new Girbaud shorts,
and the crispy white, blue, and green Air Force One Mids.
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"Yeah. I'm Marv. It's nice to meet you....."
"Meeka", she finished, her smile more pleasant and sensual. "It's nice to meet you too."
Our eyes were stuck on each other. Her green eyes had caught me off guard and I had no
way of defending myself from the field of green that were the windows to her soul. A million
questions ran through my head, along with thoughts both curious in nature and animalistic. TJ
coughed, rather loudly. I don't know if it was from the weed or to stop Meeka and I from staring
and smiling at each other, but it got my attention, and I steeled myself.
"What can I do for you, Meelca", I asked, laughing slightly, mostly to myself for being so
entranced by her beauty; I'm not sure if that's ever happened to me before.
"I was wondering if I could use your bathroom?"
"Yeah, here, let me show you where it is", I insisted, guiding her to the back.
She thanked me kindly, and again I got lost in her eyes, yet this time I managed to break
away from the field, and I hurried back to the living-room before I found myself in a sticky
situation.
"Damn, my gee. Where's she from?", I asked TI as I sat back down on the couch.
"She's from Westland. She goes to Wayne Memorial with Tasha and Cherish; she'll be a
senior this coming school year."
"She's fine, bro", I acknowledged, taking a sip of the Henny that he'd brought with him.
"Yeah, and she's feeling you."
"Don't gas me up! Plus, I'm good right now. I got enough on my plate already. Two is
too much; I know I don't have the time, nor the patience, for three. Feel me?"
"Yeah, and you would probably be I mad if you chose her anyway, cause there's two
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more girls out there right now that are just as bad, if not badder, than her."
"Say word!"
"Word."
The conversation stopped abruptly when Meeka walked back into the living-room, her
hips prominent as she strolled over towards the couch TJ and I were seated on. I tried my best
not to watch her, but my best wasn't good enough.
"What yarn smoking on?"
"Some good. What you know 'bout it?"
I handed her the blunt, and she sat down and joined the rotation.
"So, Marv, where's your girl?", she asked while inhaling the weed smoke.
"She's doing her, I guess."
"She shouldn't leave a guy like you unattended; I know I wouldn't if I were in her
shoes."
"Those are some big shoes to fill", I assured her, taking the upper hand in her mind game.
"I assure you, I'm well taken care of, ma. I trust that your man is in the same position?"
"I ain't got no man. Ain't nothing out in Westland, but lame ass niggaz, and all they
want is them stanlcin' white girls", she said, passing the blunt.
"Well, I know somebody that would love to meet a someone as beautiful as you."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah, my homie Tae", I suggested, taking advantage of the opportunity to put one of my
niggaz on.
"Tae? I hope you're not talking about Kentae. Kentae Parks?"
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"Actually I am. How do you know him?", I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me.
"He fuck with me girl, Tina. We live in the same apartment complex, and I see them
almost every day, walking hand in hand like they in love; but every night she's laid up with
Malcolm. I told her Malcolm goin' span when he find out. She just keep saying that Malcolm
goin' be out of the picture soon. I guess she gain' dump him to be with Tae exclusively. Fuck,
that's some good weed, can I get something to drink, to balance this shit out?"
I nodded towards my cup of Hennessy that sat on the coffee table in front of us. "Help
yourself, baby girl, but it's straight Henny."
She didn't mind, I guess, because she picked up the red Solo cup and tossed it back like
she was a pro, but the novice soon came out when she came up coughing from the burning in her
throat.
"Take it easy, baby girl", I suggested. "You gotta crawl before you walk."
She shook her head; her wavy hair swishing back and forward on her back like make shift
windshield wiper. "Why don't ya'll come out to the pool?" She took another shot of the
Hennessy.
"I'm cool", I answered, not really sure if I should be around females in bathing suits right
now, the weed, liquor, and Meeka's sexy appeal making me little horny.
"Ah, come on, Maw; we won't bite", she said, her smile seductive as ever.
"I'm not trying to get wet, and I don't feel like changing", I said, attempting to find an
excuse, but she was persistent.
"I'll make sure that nobody fucks with you; I'll be your personal body guard", she
assured me with a wink.
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I looked over at TJ, who seemed to be somewhere else until he noticed I was seeking his
approval. He simply hunched his shoulders, then he said, "Let's go."
TJ grabbed the weed and the drank, I grabbed a couple of beach towels from the hall way
closet, to lay across the chairs by the pool, and I grabbed the radio from the bathroom. After
grabbing a couple CD's out of the car, I plugged the radio up in an outlet that was just outside of
the would be lifeguard station (except there was no life guard, a sign on the entrance gate advised
you to swim at your own risk), got my drink, and leaned back in the lounge chair, watching the
girls swim.
Tj wasn't exaggerating when he said there was more girls that looked as fine as Meeka,
but I'd gathered myself and my mind was now focused on tonight's plans. I had reached I
pivotal juncture in my life, and once I started down this road I understood that there would be no
turning back. Thinking about Gina and Tracy, and my crew, I knew we deserved better than
what we had. I mean, I wasn't hurting, but I wanted to make sure that none of the people that I
loved and cared about wanted for nothing. We were destined for greatness; something better
than mediocrity.
"Hey, Marv."
Cherish was standing in front of me in her bathing suit, dripping wet, and my thoughts
were gone just as fast as they had come. Her body shimmered in the sunlight, and her smile was
as beautiful as the Mona Lisa's.
"What's good with you, Boo Boo?", I acknowledged her, my eyes squinting, even behind
the wayfarer sunglasses.
"Where's my hug at?", she asked, her hands going from her side to her hips.
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"I'm not hugging you. You all wet, girl. I'll give you some dap."
"Do I look like one of your homies? I don't want no dap."
She bent down, without warning, and kissed me softly on my lips; then she ran and
jumped back in the pool! I was shocked, but I guess I saw this day coming. Cherish was
growing up in front of my eyes. Growing up to be a beautiful young woman. I looked at TJ,
who was just sitting there nursing his drink, appearing to be somewhere else. When he noticed
my gaze, he just hunched his shoulders again, in his nonchalant manner, and hit the weed. I
watched Cherish in the water with her friends. She was special, with the kind of beauty that
surpassed physical appearance. She would make a lucky man very happy one day.
"This shit is nice, Marv", TJ spoke suddenly. "One day I want some shit like this. Just
lay back and kick it by the pool with some good weed, some good drank, and some fine women.
No scratch that; a good woman. Not a care in the world."
"I don't know if we'll ever be carefree, my gee, but I guarantee we'll all be living the
good life soon. If everything goes according to plans, places like these will be our third or fourth
home."
We both smiled at that thought, sipping our drinks, and soaking up the sun.
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Chapter 18
Everyone, except for Tae, stood outside of the Sunoco on Middlebelt. We had all agreed
to meet up at 10:30 pm, and now at 10:45, we were all standing in the shadows of a brightly lit
gas station, waiting for Tae to show up. The air was surprisingly warm, even for a summer
night, and despite the playful chatter that lingered between us, we were all focused on the task at
hand. Tae ended up showing at ten lit eleven.
"I bet you never had one perfect attendance certificate, have you?", Twan said to Tae as
he walked up, darting his eyes side to side, making sure that we were alone.
I had to ake sure I got the outfit from my cousin", he explained. "Did ya'll get the
pizza's?"
"Yeah, we got ern; they're in the car", I assured him.
"Twan, go put the outfit on' , Brian instructed with a smile on his face as Tae handed him
the Jet's Pizza outfit, prompting me to smile also in anticipation of how he would look in such a
costume.
"Tell Bu to let you use the bathroom to change", I suggested. "In fact, we'll go in too; I
gotta get some cigs anyway."
We all went into the store, feeling the cool air that pumped through the central air
conditioning system. The store was empty, and smelled of Chester's chicken, air fresheners, and
Black and mild cigars. I not sure, but I think I also smelled rubber, like the rubber from fresh
tires, which was weird because the gas station didn't have a connecting garage like some of the
other gas stations around here.
"What's popping, Bu?"
by: Melvin Spencer
"What's really good, Man e", he greeted me in his thick Arabic accent.
Bu's father owned a number of gas stations. He owned two in Inkster, one in Dearborn,
and two in Southwest Detroit. I remember walking into the gas station in the city, their very first
one, and seeing Bu working with his father. Bu would bag the customer's groceries, working
hard when a kid his age should've been out playing with his friends, but he was a hustler. When
my mother would tip him, he would smile the smile of a hustler stacking his chips, even at that
age. Bu was cool, a couple years older than I am, and a true hustler.
"Yo Bu, let my boy use yo bathroom", I said, picking up a pack of Skittles. "And let me
get two peach White Owls, some Newports, shorts, in a box, and these Skittles."
Bu nodded towards the restroom, and Twan took off, as Bu rung of the items that I had
on the counter. "You no buy condoms no more. What you no get no pussy?", Bu said, his
accented joke causing everyone to laugh.
"Naw. Yo girl said I don't have to use condoms anymore", I returned, and Bu laughed.
"Please take her. She only want money."
"I know how you feel homie."
Twan walked out of the bathroom as I was paying Bu. He looked absolutely ridiculous in
that pizza uniform, and we let him know about it, laughing as he walked to the counter.
"Yo, I should get extra for this shit", Twan protested as we walked outside.
"Chill bro, all you gotta do is make sure you convince them you have the right ad..." I
paused as a customer walked passed us and into the store "Just make sure you convince them
that you have the right address and you get them to open that door, no matter what."
We all got into the car, and I drove as we made our way to Westland; made our way to a
new destiny. I tossed TT a White Owl and a sack while I lit a Newport and went over the plan
one last time.
When we pulled into the apartment complex that also held townhouses that were position
like the row houses in Philly and Baltimore. Tina lived in the back of the complex, and her little
townhouse was positioned on the end, so there was a little cut for us to duck off into until Twan
gave us the signal.
"Everybody ready?", I asked checking my clips. I didn't wait for a response. "Brian,
drop Twan off, and then go and park at the meet up point. Twan, when we get in you run to the
cut like you're running away, but make sure nobody comes to the front or the back door; if
someone does, you know what to do. TJ, Tat, stay with me; let's go."
The night covered us as we stayed to the shadows, ensuring that our all black outfits were
doing what they were supposed to do. We all had bandanas to cover our faces, and hoodies to
cover our heads, making our way to the spot. We saw Twan pull up, close the car door, and walk
up to Tina's front door with the two large pizzas. By this time Brian should've been getting in
the driver seat and leaning it all the way back.
"Twan knocked on the door. "Jet's Pizza!!! We got a delivery!!!" A few second passed,
and he spoke again, firmly "The delivery is for this address, sir. I just want to do my job and go
home to my wife and kids, sir."
The speech was convincing enough, because the porch light pooped on, and the front
door came open.
"How you doing this evening, sir", Twan said politely, giving us our cue.
Tae, TJ, and I ran out of the shadows, all in a straight line, as if we were trained assassins,
by: Melvin Spencer
with our guns up. Malcolm's cousin was the one who opened the door. I caught him by the
collar of his button down shirt, put the gun to his head, and pushed him back into the apartment.
"If you say anything, I'll turn this wall into a work of art, you feel me?"
He nodded his head, confirming his understanding of the message I was trying to convey.
TJ was the last one in, pushing the door to, but not closing it all the way. The place was a bit
messy for my taste, and it was about to get messier.
"Get on the couch, and if you move, you'll never move again", I spat the threatening
instructions.
Tae and TJ went to the back of the surprisingly spacious townhouse to search the rooms.
I kept my gun trained on Malcolm's dark skinned cousin, a look on my face that let hint know
that I meant business. Soon Tae and TJ were back with Malcolm and a black girl that I was
assuming wasn't Tina, the both of them butt naked with guns to their heads.
"Have a seat", Tae spat as they made it to the couch.
"It's nice of you to join us", I said, taking a seat in a Lay-Z-Boy that was situated just left
of the black leather couch. "But we ain't got all day so tell me where everything is, and we'll be
on our merry little way."
"I. Ain't. Got. Shit. Man. Please", Malcolm pleaded, through tears.
"Don't bitch up now, nigga; ain't no copping pleas", Tae said in anger, his hand shaking
as he held the nine millimeter tightly.
I lit a cigarette. "I'ma say this one more time; where is everything at?"
"Man, I told you we ain't got shit."
"Lies! Hey, get them, and tie them up. I think we have time for a little fin", I said,
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smiling as I pulled on my cigarette and exhaled.
Tae went into the pocket of his hoodie and produced a roll of duct tape. Stripping them
all, he taped the girl's hands, legs, and mouth; then he did the same to Malcolm and his cousin. I
hated wasting so much time, but an example had to be made, and retribution had to be repaid. I
stood up from the Lay-Z-Boy, and made my way towards the kitchen.
"I tried to be civil. Now shit's about to get real barbaric in here", I said as I grabbed a
butcher's knife from one of the kitchen drawers. "Lay her on her stomach." I put the tip of the
knife to the ebony skinned girl's pussy. "I'll cut this bitch open from pussyhole to asshole,
nigga; now, where is the shit?"
TJ moved nonchalantly and took the tape off of Malcolm's mouth so he was able to
speak, and speak he did.
"It's in the room, above the bed, in the ceiling."
I motioned for TJ to go back to the room and check. After a few seconds and a lot of
tearing up the ceiling (you could hear it from the living area), TJ came back with two bricks and
a smile.
"Now we're making some progress", I said giving a little clap. "Now, I have to ask
where the money is?"
"Man, I ain't got no...."
I cut him off; my patience running thin. "Yo, cut her pussy lips off. Let's see if it makes
her cum, and makes hint come to his senses."
"Alright! Alright! Alright!", he cried. "It's under the bed."
TJ made another trip to the bedroom, and I walked over to Malcolm to put the duct tape
back over his mouth, and to put my gun back in his face. I hated the sight of him This coward
who wanted to kill my nigga over a bitch that he was cheating on.
Tj came back with two shoes boxes. "Under the bed? You couldn't come up with
something more original? What are you a goodfella? Well, anyway, we gotta go. Thank you all
for your cooperation", I said, before looking at Tae and TJ. "Hey, ransack the place; make it
look like a robbery."
I searched my hoodie pockets, looking for the silencer that I'd brought with me. When I
found the metal cylinder, I screwed it on the tip of my pistol. Without hesitation, I shot
Malcolm's cousin in the head, two times.
"Next time be a leader instead of a follower, bitch ass nigga."
I heard the muffled
back over his mouth, and to put my gun back in his face. I hated the sight of him. This coward
who wanted to kill my nigga over a bitch that he was cheating on.
TJ came back with two shoe boxes. "Under the bed? You couldn't come up with
something more original? What? Are you a Goodfella? Well, anyway, we gotta go. Thank you
all for your cooperation", I said, before looking at to Tae and TJ. "Ransack the place."
I searched the pocket of my hoodie, looking for the silencer that I'd brought with me.
When I found the metal cylinder, I screwed it on the tip of my pistol. Without hesitation, I shot
Malcolm's cousin in the head, two times.
"Next time be a leader instead of a follower, bitch ass nigga."
I heard the muffled screams coming from Malcolm and the girl who he screwed in the
same bed that he shared with his girl. I pointed my gun at Malcolm, who looked at me with
pleading eyes. It's funny how niggaz bitch up when they're in mortal danger. They shoot at
niggaz, sell dope, threaten niggaz lives, but when they're under the gun, the bitch comes out.
Even through the duct tape that covered his mouth, I could hear him begging. I looked him in
his eyes.
"This is how you kill somebody, coward."
I gave him two shots to the head; ending his miserable existence. He'd gotten what he
had coming to him. He had to know that it was only a matter of time; if not, he wasn't supposed
to be in the game anyway; he was just in the way. I wallced over to the girl, who was crying
uncontrollably. I looked into her brown eyes, that were wide and wild with fear.
"If I take this tape off of your mouth, do you promise not to scream?"
She nodded her head, yet the tears still fell, as big as rain drops. I took the tape off of her
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mouth, trying to be as gentle as I could. She looked at me expectantly, trying to her best to hold
back her sobs.
"What's your name?", I asked.
"Gina. Gina..... Campbell", she responded, causing me to pause.
Gina's face flashed before my mind's eye; not this Gina that sat before me, but the Gina
that I loved so much, who was probably at home wondering where I was, and if I was okay,
wondering about our fixture together. I looked at this girl in front of me who shared the same
name as the love of my life, and that recognition, that realization, that revelation, told me that I
couldn't hurt this girl. Tae and TJ walked back into the room, and stood behind me.
"Hand me that knife, bro", I instructed Tae, and after looking at me questioningly, he
complied. "Now, Gina, I'm going to give you some instructions, okay? Did you know this guy
had a girlfriend?", I asked pointing the knife at Malcolm's dead corpse, and she shook he head
no. "Well, he did. He's a coward and a cheater, two things I despise, and he got what he
deserved. You don't deserve the same fate, as far as I know, so I'm gonna cut the duct tape off
of your hands and I don't want you to move until we leave, alright?"
"Yeah", she said, the tears still falling, yet at a slower rate.
"Yo, pull the phone cord out of the wall", I instructed and TJ handled that for me, leaving
a hole where the plug use to be.
"Remember Gina, wait until we leave", I reiterated my wishes, emphasizing it by
pointing the gun at her. "Alright boys, let's pack it up."
TJ grabbed the duffle bag that held the contents of our lick, slung over his shoulder, and
we all ran out of the back door. Twan came around the comer, no longer in his Jet's Pizza
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uniform, when he heard the back door open. I told him we were done, and we all ran towards the
big gate that was supposed to keep the apartments closed in, but did very little to keep us from
getting out. The gate led to a back street where Brian was waiting. Brian must've spotted us
jumping the gate, and pulled up to where we were climbing over, throwing the passenger side
door open and encouraging us to move faster.
"Come on; let's go", he shouted.
I jumped in the passenger side with the duffle bag that TJ had thrown over the gate before
jumping it; Twan, Tae, and TJ jumped in the back seat. Brian sped off, like an experienced
getaway driver, leaving the headlights off until we made it to the main road.
"What the hell took ya'll so long?", Brain asked as he drove towards the bum-yard.
"He acted like he didn't wanna come off the work, so we had to put in a little overtime", I
said as I shed the all black clothes along with TJ and Tae.
We had the black hoodies and the black jogging pants over on over regular clothes, and
we all wore black slip on house-shoes, similar to the ones that they rock in the hood in
California. We put the all black ensembles in a trash bag to be burned also. Brain pulled up to
the tire spot that had the bum-yard in the back, where they burn tires and other junk. My car and
Brian's new Camaro was already parked out front of the spot. We drove the car into the back of
the bum-yard, grabbed the duffle bag, left the bag of clothes inside, and took a can full of gas to
the interior and the exterior of the who-ride. Setting it ablaze with a book of matches that had
Motel 6 on them, we walked away, leaving our old life behind we the blazing car.
"TJ, you can ride with me. Brian, ya'll meet us at the condo, and be careful", I instructed
while putting the duffle bag in the trunk of the Porsche and dapping them up.
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When Ti and I got into the car and pulled off from the burn-yard, I handed him the other
peach White Owl. "Roll up, man." I turned up the radio, that played Biggie's "Life After
Death" album. We stopped by the 7Eleven on Ford Road in Garden City, the only spot that sold
liquor after midnight on a weekday. I grabbed a pint of Hennessy, and Ti got a pint of Paul
Masson, then we headed back to the condo. When I got to the gate, the guard waved me
through. I recognized him as the young black brother who always had the radio inside the little
booth they were situated in on full blast.
Parking the car, I grabbed the duffle bag out of the trunk, noticing that Brian's car was
already there; Tracy's car was there also. I wondered why as I walked up to the front door of my
place and pushed it open. As I walked in, Tae picked up his gun and pointed it my way.
"Man, put that shit away. My girl here and shit. Relax! With your paranoid ass", I said,
dropping the duffle bag by the couch, and putting the bottle of Hennessy on the table. "Hey,
don't touch that shit. Let me see what's up with this girl."
I walked back towards Tracy's room, and when I walked into the room, I found her
laying across the bed, sprawled out, watching television. Her hair was down, which was rare for
her, cascading down her back, like a mane. Her ass looked tempting, as it wiggled back and
forth, her anxiety getting the best of her, malcing her restless.
"When did you get here?", Tasked her, taking off my clothes to change into my usual
beater, shorts, and flip flops.
"About twenty minutes ago. I tried to call you, but your phone was off."
"What's wrong?"
"Why does something have to be wrong?", she asked, getting a little defensive.
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"Because you're wiggling your ass, and that can only mean two things. Your horny or
your restless", I answered, folding the clothes that I'd just taken off.
"Maybe it's both", she said with a slight smile.
I fell onto the bed with her, and kissed her neck. "What's wrong?"
"I got into it with my mother."
"What happened?"
"She's still tryna give me a curfew, even though I'm eighteen, and I'm not in school
anymore", she vented, sitting up to look at me.
"Well, you do live in her house, so you kind of have to abide by her rules."
"Whose side are you on, Marv?"
"I'm on the side of logic and rationale. It's her house, Tracy."
"Well, I'm staying here now", she proclaimed, snuggling up to me.
I shied away from her. "Now, you know that's not gonna work, Trace."
"Well, you better find a way to make it work, because I'm not going back there", she
demanded.
I pulled her back to me. "I'll tell you what. Lay down, get some rest, and we'll go check
out some apartments tomorrow, okay?"
"That sounds better."
"Just lay down, and I'll be back to lay with you in a few minutes. Let me get rid of these
niggaz."
"Okay; hurry up." She kissed me. "I want you to hold me."
When I went back to the front, everybody was chilling on the couch watching
by: Melvin Spencer
Sportscenter, smoking, and/or drinking. Brian sat in the dining area, as to not get a contact from
the weed smoke, and he was sipping from a bottle of Country Time Lemonade. I grabbed the
duffle bag from the floor and emptied its contents.
"Okay, Brian, count the money", I said handing him the shoe boxes. "We got two bricks
here; that's seventy-two ounces. That's fourteen ounces apiece, with two left over. I say, we
give them to MI for putting us on with the lick. Anybody gotta problem with that? Cool! TJ,
since you got the extras, all we ask is that you break the bricks down to O's, and have them ready
to hit the streets by Sunday evening. Can you handle that?"
"Yeah, Marv. I got you", TJ replied in usual nonchalant manner.
"Brian, you got the money counted out?", I asked sipping from the Hennessy bottle.
"Yeah. It's six bundles, fifty thou apiece; that's three hundred thousand", Brian said,
smiling.
"So, that's sixty thousand in cash and fourteen ounces of coke, apiece. That's,
potentially, seventy-three thousand dollars for each of us, and more if you bust the O's down.
Not bad, for one lick", I said, a smile crawling across my face. "Now divide the money, and get
the fuck out of my crib."
When the crew left, I put the money in Gina's room. Putting it in the safe that I kept on
the closet floor. When I walked back into Tracy's room, she was watching "Breaking All the
Rules" with Jamie Fon and Morris Chestnut, on The Oxygen Channel. I climbed into the bed,
laying next to her, I kissed her forehead.
"I wish I would've known you were coming over", I said.
"I tried to call you. Where were you?"
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"I had to handle some business", I told her, checking my phone; she rolled her eyes.
There was a message from Tracy, stating that she had to talk to me and that she was on
her way to the condo. There was also a text message from Gina that read:
"Love you
•''
I texted her back:
"Love you more. Sweet dreams."
The face of the dark skinned girl from Malcolm's place flashed in my mind as I thought
about Gina. I hoped I'd done the right thing, and I hope my letting her go doesn't come back to
bite me in the ass. I looked at the clock. It was fifteen after one, and I was tired.
"You goin' stay up and watch that movie? 'Cause after I text my brother, I'm going to
sleep."
"I'm going to sleep", she answered, clicking off the television and cuddling up next to
me.
I texted Tone:
"I'm good, bro. Holla at u 1 s1 thing. Love you."
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Chapter 19
I woke up the next morning sweating, short of breath and out of sorts. My sleep proved
to be fitful last night, not having a bad dream or a nightmare, per se, just images of Malcolm's
eyes as he pleaded for his life, and the flash of white light that haunted me so many nights after I
was shot. Understood that I had to live with what I'd done, but I also understood that, per the
rules of the game, Malcolm had to pay for his actions.
I looked at the nightstand, focusing my eyes of the digital clock. It was 8:03 am. Tracy
was still asleep, a peaceful and serene look adorned her face, so I slid out of bed and went into
Gina's mom. I searched the dresser drawers and grab a beater and some boxers, deciding to take
a shower. Although I had a late night the night before, I had a lot of things that I needed to get
done, a lot of politicking that I had to do, and I needed to get an early start on my day.
When I got to the bathroom, turned on the shower so it could warm up, I caught a
glimpse of myself in the mirror over the sink. I had aged considerably these past few months. I
guess what Jay-Z said makes sense, "Stress can take a young man and give him an old face." It
looked like the past few months had taken its toll on me. I shook it off, let John Legend play
through the iPod Home system, and hopped into the shower.
As I washed away the dirt and grime from last night's episode, it felt like the weight was
being lifted and the stress was diminishing, washing off and going into the drain. John Legend
crooned as I let the water run over my body, my thoughts turning to the work that I had a head of
me. I was setting my team up to take over the streets, and everything depended on me making
sure that the shit goes as planned.
Soon I dried off, and put on my beater and my boxers. I peeked in on Tracy, who was
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still sleeping peacefully, before creeping into the kitchen. Remembering that she also had a
rough night last night, I decided to make Tracy a light breakfast in bed. I prepared some French
Toast sticks with syrup, two blueberry Pop-Tarts, and a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, along
with a glass of ice cold milk. I didn't have much of an appetite, but I knew that I would be
running all day and I probably wouldn't remember to pick up something to eat, so I poured
myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Putting it all on a tray, I carried it in to Tracy.
"Baby, wake up. I got you some breakfast."
"Aww, baby, you shouldn't have", Tracy said rolling over and wiping her eyes.
"I can take it back if you don't want it."
"Boy, don't play with my food", she said, sitting up in the bed.
I set the tray in front of her, and turned on the television before sitting on the bed with
Tracy. We watched reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air while we ate our breakfast.
"So, what do you have planned for today, baby?, Tracy asked through bites of her
cereal.
"I'ma probably be busy all day, and all night for that matter, but I need you to go check
out them apartments on Inkster Road and Cherry Hill. See what a one room apartment goes for,
and hit me up when you find one you like."
"Okay. I still gotta stop by my mom's and talk to her. I feel really bad about the things I
said to her last night. I didn't mean what I said, I was just mad at her."
"No; you meant what you said, you're just mad that you said them. Trace, something I
learned early in life, from my brother actually, say what you mean and mean what you say.
Words hurt, and once you say something you can't take it back. That person may forgive you for
You Win Some.. ..You Lose Some 187 by: Melvin Spencer
what you said, but they will never forget what you said. Anyvvays, get up and get dressed, we
gotta get going."
"Can't I finish my breakfast?"
"Hurry up", I said going to the closet to pick out my outfit for the day. "And try to look
presentable when you go and look at those apartments; good white folks live in those
apartments."
"So, what am I now? White trash?", she asked as she came over and kissed me on my
cheek.
"If the shoe fits."
"How bout I fit my shoe up yo ass?"
"How bout I put something up yours?", I said slapping her backside.
She gave me a seductive look. "You wish." Then she disappeared into the bathroom.
I put a white tee on over my beater, put on some Roc-A-Wear jean shorts, a white Detroit
Tigers fitted hat, and some fresh Uptowns. This was a grind mode outfit because chances are
that I would be pulling an all-nighter. I want to get rid of as much work as possible. I still had
weed that I needed to get off, and I wanted to get rid of that ASAP. Who could I I called Lo, a true Detroit Player, in every sense of the word. Too cool for school type of cat.
"What's cracking?", Lo answered the phone, sounding like the Bishop Don Juan himself.
"What's good, Ralow. This Marv."
"What's up, my baby? I heard about that situation, but I see you're still in one peace."
"Yeah, they can't keep a real nigga down."
"So, what's good wit cha, playboy?"
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"I got some business for you; fifteen elbows for one apiece."
"What is it? Middle-Eastern?
"Some of that Afghan."
"Cool, my baby, just meet me at the Marathon on Joy Road and Greenfield, at noon.
Aight?"
"I got you fam-o, see you there."
I needed that. I lcnew I could count on Lo to take that shit off my hands. I had to get this
money up, and quick. I'd just off' d fifteen pounds that fast, and I had fifteen stacks coming to
me. I remembered that I'd told TJ that I'd sell him five pounds, so that would be twenty racks in
one day. I looked at my watch, it was nine-thirty. I hit up T.! to see if he had any of that work
bagged up, and to see if he still wanted that weed.
"What's popping, bro", Tj answered the phone.
"What's popping? You good?"
"Yeah, I'm good. I'm up stuffing some donuts. Why?"
"I'ma drop these five ziplocics off, if you still want em, and I need to pick up a couple
donuts."
"I got you, my gee. Swing through; I'll be here", he assured me.
"In a minute."
I took the five pounds of weed and some money out of the stash. I put the weed in a
Farmer Jack's grocery bag. Kissing Tracy good-bye, I gave her fifteen hundred for the
apartment, and told her to lock up behind herself. I walked out of the door ready to start my
day, putting the weed in the trunk of the car. I was going to pick up five grand from T j and
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fifteen grand from Lo, and I wanted a hundred and fifty thousand when I met the connect. That
was my goal, and picking up twenty thousand today would have me well on my way. I called
Tone.
"What's popping, lil bro?"
"Ain't shit; just checking in."
"How'd you do last night?", he asked.
"Sixty K and fourteen donuts apiece."
"No bad, but I got something sweeter than them donuts. Come see me when you get a
chance."
"I'll probably be working all day. Planting a few trees, making sure my roots run deep,
ya feel me?"
"I got you", he replied. "Hit me up later, brody."
"Aight, love you man."
"Love you too, lil bro."
I needed to spend the whole day networking , trying to get rid of everything I had, and
make room for whatever it was that Tone had in mind. I needed more hands on deck. I thought
about who else I could bring in and then it clicked.
I wasn't used to moving this fast, weed was in demand, but it wasn't hard to move
because everybody and they momma smoked weed; I was stepping into another ballpark and I
had no idea how high the wall was, but I was determined to knock it out of the park. Time never
waited on anyone, and money definitely doesn't slow down, so I had to keep up.
I pulled up to IN. I grabbed the grocery bag out of the trunk. Going around back to
avoid running into anyone, I knocked on the backdoor. After three knocks and a minute or so,
TJ came to the door with a blunt in his mouth, and no shoes or shirt, just a pair of Reebok shorts.
"What's popping, my gee?", TJ dapped me up and offered me the blunt, which I
accepted.
"Shit tryna get this money."
"Come downstairs."
When we got to the basement, TJ had his scale out and he had a roll of money wrapped in
a rubber band; I guessed it to be my five stacks, judging by the size of the roll. I put the grocery
bag on the side of the sofa and sat down. I hit the weed, passing it back to TJ, and then I lit a
Newport. The basement looked like a worker's station. There was paraphernalia everywhere,
proof that TJ was a hard worker who believed in the old adage, I can sleep when I die.
"So, how many you want?", Tj asked, hitting the blunt. "I got twenty-eight bagged up."
"Damn, bro. you really on top of it, huh?"
"Money don't wait on nobody, and the longer I let this work sit in here, the more money
I'm gonna miss out there", he responded.
I shocked that he had done so much in so little time. Work ethic was such an important
part of the game, such a rare quality to find in most people today. Everybody wants the fruits,
but nobody wants to do the labor. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours, hell, it hadn't even
been twelve hours, and he had half of the work bagged up.
"You can't sleep on the money", he added.
"I feel you on that one. Let me get eight of them joints, and I'll pick up the other six on
Sunday Cool?"
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"Cool with me. That bank roll on the table is yours, for the bud Count it, it's all there."
"You good; I trust you", I assured him, stuffing the roll of money in my pocket.
TJ sat the work down in front of me, and I picked them up and eyed them. It appeared to
be on point, but for good measure, I put them all of the digital scale eight point one ounces,
the digital numbers popped up on the scale.
"Alright, bro", I said scooping up the work, putting it in a small brown paper bag, and
dapping TJ up. "I gotta make some moves, but I'll be back through to scoop you sometime after
noon to take care of some business."
"Alright, bro. I'll be here."
Leaving TJ's, I jumped in the whip, and scrolled through my phone, looking for Ant's
number. We needed some more people to get down if we planned on doing it big in the streets.
We didn't have a lot of work right now, but once we were on with the connect, it would be a lot
of weight, and we would need more people to move it. Ant and I hadn't really spoken since the
incident with Tracy at the bowling alley, but he was actually a cool dude, and a true hustler, so I
needed to patch things up with him.
I continued to look for Ant's number as I drove up Magnolia, headed towards Glenwood.
I didn't have it in my call log. Fuck it! I'll stop by his house. It wasn't far from here, and since
he was working on his new mixtape, I knew that there was a good chance that he'd be home
working on some new music. I turned left on Glenwood, and not even a minute later, I was
parked in his driveway. Brandon, Ant's brother, was sitting on the porch.
"What's popping, B? Where yo brother at?", I asked, getting out of the car with the
paper bag in hand.
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"He in there on his Jay-Z shit", Brandon said, dapping me up as I walked up to the
deteriorating stone steps.
"They say he's nice! I gotta see this shit for myself', I said, then followed him into the
house.
I was greeted by their mom as I walked through the livingroom, who offered me
something to drink. I declined thankfully, and she asked if I was "one of those rappers".
I told her that I was, and she hoped, verbally, that we actually do something with our music; even
though I wasn't her taste, she said, her face possessing a sour look, she could see how much
work Ant put into it.
After assuring his mother that I would try my best to do good by my music, Brandon led
me upstairs to the attic where Ant's room and studio was situated. The flimsiness of the wooden
stairs scared me a little, as I walked up them into the a room that you had to duck down in to get
to the back part where you could finally stand up straight. Although Ant slept up here,
everything was set up to fit the studio equipment rather than the living quarters. It was basically
one bed and one closet to accommodate him, the rest was dedicated to his musical craft.
"What up doe, Marv?", Ant said as he saw me.
I dapped him up. "What up doe? I see you working hard."
"Yeah, I got a extra verse if you got something to go with this beat."
He pulled up a beat that had a Jay-Z sample from "99 Problems". "If you don't like my
lyrics, you can press fast forward", the hook said repetitively over a banging bass line, and an
electric guitar riff. I let myself catch the beat, bobbing my head with the rhythm, trying to get
my timing right.
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"Yo, set me up real quick. I got sixteen for that, but we gotta hurry up, I gotta be outta
here by eleven-thirty."
I looked at the my watch. It was ten forty-five. Ant gave me a pair of headphones, and
Brandon took a seat on the bed that sat in the middle of the set up, to enjoy the show. The end of
Ant's verse came through the headphones, and then the hook. The hook ended, giving me my
cue to spit my verse, and I went in.
"Yo boy is back, back on my JO/ make dough, shawty get Lo, they know. No running
back, but I'm running through these A-holes/ yeah I want it all, squeeze money like play-doe.
Been dead half my life, I'm just tryna live the rest of it/put so much in it that I'm working wit a
deficit. No good, so hood, baby that's a defmite/a B, I'ma gee, tell em who they f-ing wit.
Shorty say I'm all that, hit and never call back/can't miss it, lest you get it twisted like a ball cap.
Yeah boy, I'm too real, if I don't kill it who will/I was sipping Cisco while you was listening to
Dru Hill. Full blast, half court, killing em from long range/they knew my name before I got in
the game, LeBron James. I'll be a legend at 23, when Tip was on 24's/I was 13 making green
off of skimpy O's."
After doing my doubles and my ad-libs, Ant spit another verse. He had skills, and the
crazy thing is, he writes in his head, like Jay-Z. After all the music was done it was time to get
down to business. I wanted to get this money flowing and where Ant's house was situated, I
knew that they could sit on their porch and make more money than they ever could going to
work a nine to five.
"Look Marv, I watma apologize for that shit that happened at the bowling alley. I was on
my drunk shit, and I didn't know that was you", Ant offered, as he was mixing down the song.
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"That shit's dead, bro. Let's talk money! I know you gotta job and all that, but a little
extra paper couldn't hurt, and B, I know you could use some paper."
"Hell yeah", they both said at the same time, which kind of weirded me out.
"I got four ounces of soft. Ya'll can sell it however ya'll want, but I suggest ya'll cook it
up. As much as fiends be on Glenwood, ya'll can get this off before the weekend is out; plus
you'll make more money that way, of course. I'ma give ya'll two apiece, just bring me back
seventeen hundred, each."
"I got you, Marv; good looking out", Ant said.
"Yeah, good look, bro", Brandon added.
"I'll be back next Friday. If ya'll get it off earlier than that, hit me." I gave them my cell
number. "Call me when ya'll done, and I'll get both of ya'll right again. Oh, and I want a copy
of that song when you finish mixing it", I said dapping them both up, and leaving.
I jumped in the car and headed back to the condo. I moved four of the eight ounces
already. I had to get that work off, and I had to find a way to test Ant's Brandon's loyalty and
their hustling skills. It was all profit anyway, so if! took a lost it wasn't shit, but it would let me
know if, in fact, them niggaz could be trusted, and if they had the game in them to move the
work. I was killing three birds with one bullet.
When I got back to the condo, Tracy was gone. I went to the stash, grabbed the weed,
put it in a book bag that I used for school, and a Nike nap sack. When all the weed was in the
trunk of the Porsche, I looked at the time; 11:45 am. I jumped in the car and headed for the Ford
Freeway. When I turned off of Inkster Road onto Ford Road, a cop was posted up in the parking
lot of the old abandoned car wash next to the White Castle.
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I grabbed my seat belt and put it on quickly as the cop's cruiser pulled out behind me. I
checked the speedometer; I was only doing forty-nine in a forty-five mile an hour zone. The
police don't usually trip over that, except I was in Garden City, and a black face wasn't too often
seen in a Porsche. He was running my plates. The tinted windows didn't help my cause either.
I had four ounces of powder and fifteen pounds of wee in the trunk of a brand new Porsche 911.
I'm going down!
"Please don't turn on your lights", I said like a mantra to myself, hoping that it would
bring me a peace that was rare in a situation like this one. "Please don't flick on your lights."
It must've been bad karma; he flicked on his lights. "Damn!!!! Shit!!!! Fuck!!!!"
I pulled over on a side street, not wanting to risk some nut hitting my car while I was
pulled over by the police. This was just my luck, I thought to myself as I put the car in park. I
rolled down the window as the cop approached the driver side window.
"Good morning, officer", I greeted the patrolman, who had the stereotypical cop look
going on; buzz cut, aviator glasses, thick neck, slight gut, and donut residue in his handlebar
mustache.
"License and registration, please", he said in a deep monotone; almost like a robot.
I looked in my sun visor and grabbed them both; I'd learned my lesson about keeping my
shit in the glove box. The moment you reach over to look in there, they'll assume you have a
gun stashed away in there and they'll shoot you dead. Not Dot's son.
"Who's car is this?", he asked looking at the papers.
"The car is mine, sir."
"The names don't match."
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"It's still in my brother's name. It was a graduation present."
"Nice car. What does your brother do?"
Not that it's any of your fucking business, I thought to myself The cop was being a
dicichead, insinuating that I was lying, or something, insulting me to my face. Maybe if! didn't
have all that work in the trunk, I would've been the asshole to him that he was being to me.
Perhaps some other time; Lord knows that I'll have plenty of chances in my lifetime.
"He works as a regional manager for GM, sir."
He gave me a look of skepticism before saying, "I'll be right back. Sit tight, sir."
I sat in my car, thumbs drumming nervously against the steering wheel, going through a
dozen different scenarios in my head, flight being the most prominent. I knew that everything
would check out, as far as my license and registration were concerned, and I didn't have any
warrants, that I knew of, but I didn't want the K-9 unit to "magically" appear out of nowhere
while the cop was checking for the warrants and fines that I didn't have. Soon the cop was out
of his cruiser and walking back towards the driver side window of my Porsche. I braced myself.
"Sir, can you please step out of the vehicle?"
What the fuck did I do? Oh shit! I'm going down, I know it. I don't know what he
found, but it can't be good if he's making get out of the car. I should run, I thought again; but
for what? I didn't do anything. Yeah, that's the same thing Cuba Gooding Jr. said on Boyz in da
Hood, and the cop was still ready to beat the shit out of him. There hasn't been a shortage of
cops "accidentally" shooting unarmed black men lately; in fact, it's fairly prevalent.
"Could you step around to the back of the vehicle, sir?", the officer asked, but it sounded
more like a command that a request.
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I moved slowly, and methodically, wondering what the hell this cop had in store for my
black ass. I looked up and down the street for anyone who was witnessing this scene, hoping
that if he did try to do something foul, there would at least be someone that witnessed it,
someone to capture the situation on their camera phone. I continued toward the back of the car.
He's going make me pop the trunk, which is illegal without probable cause or a search warrant;
he must think I don't know the law.
"Sir, do you see those paper tags in the window?", he asked.
"Yes, sir."
"Well, it's hard for me to see those, being that your windows are tinted. How long have
you had this here vehicle, sir?"
"A little over two months."
"That paper with you tag number on it is also called temporary plates; the key word being
temporary. It's been two months, please, get some real plates to avoid another baccel such as this
one."
"I'll do that first thing Monday morning, sir. Thank you."
"Drive safely, and have a nice day", he said, tipping his hat to me, and walking back to
his cruiser.
I hurried up and got back into my car, waiting for him to pull off before I started my car.
Luck must be a streetwalker, because I felt like a pimp when I pulled back onto Ford Road,
driving towards the freeway. I checked my phone, it was ten after twelve. Shit! I was late. I
called Lo.
"Where you at? I'm at the spot", Lo answered the phone.
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"I'll be there in ten minutes, playa. I got held up by a bitch. You know how that can be",
I said, stroking his ego.
"Hoes wait on me, I don't wait on hoes. Remember that playboy."
"You swear you a pimp. I'll see you in a minute."
I happily ended the call. Thankful that Lo hadn't decided to leave and take his money
elsewhere. Thinking back on that traffic stop I had to be thankful also. I can't count how many
times I've been watching the news and saw that somebody got popped during a routine traffic
stop. Things could definitely be a whole helluva lot worse right now.
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Chapter 20
"What's good, my baby? I didn't know you was doing it like that. New Porsche 911;
cherry red, peanut butter interior!", Lo exclaimed, dapping me up.
"You ain't doing too bad yourself. Got the ivory blue Caprice, sitting high on twentyfour' s ."
"It ain't shit, my baby. The money's green so everything's a go."
I pooped the trunk by pushing a button on my key chain. I pulled the bookbag and the
Nike knapsack from the trunk, and passed it to Lo. He handed me a Louis Vuitton knapsack. I
took a look inside at the money that appeared to be scattered everywhere inside the expensive
bag.
"Keep the bag, my baby. I got two more just like it. Consider it a gift", Lo said, popping
his collar.
"So, where you getting money at these days, Ralowr
I knew that he was down in Louisville for a minute, getting crazy paper, but Lo is a
hustler, and he can get money anywhere. If there's a hustle inside of a Buddhist temple he'd
make it jump.
"You know I was in Louisville, Kentucky, but I slid down to Huntington, West Virginia,
and it's mad niggaz from the city down there getting it; and when I say getting it, I mean getting
it."
"West V, huh?"
"West V, my baby. Known for its coal mines, but homie it's a gold mine. That's where I
made my last flip. But I'ma get ghost. You ain't seen me and I ain't seen you."
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"Alright. Be cool, bro."
I put the Louie bag full of money in the trunk of the car and let it shut, but I hesitated to
get back into the car. I had four ounces left, and I wasn't trying to ride back out to Inkster with
them on me. I didn't want to take the chance of getting popped on the humbug by some cop,
tying to meet his quota, who just happens to stumble upon a bag full of money and four ounces
of coke in the trunk of a luxury car.
I noticed the booster's truck set-up across the street from the Marathon. Making sure my
car was locked, I walked over as I thought about what to do with the four zones. I had to find a
way to get rid of them. I looked at a pair of Jordan's for Cherish; I still owed her for helping me
pick out Tracy's ring, and being that her birthday was coming up, I thought a pair of shoes would
be nice. Then suddenly the thought hit me, and I called my brother.
"What's popping, lil bro", Tone answered.
"Ain't shit. At the booster spot, checking out some kicks."
"Yo, grab me a pair of Uptowns; 10 and a half s."
"I got you. Look, I'm out your way, and I got four powdered donuts that I'm not tryna
ride back to the Ink with. I'll give them to you for three."
"Bring em through, I'm at the spot. Don't forget the Uptowns."
"Alright. Good looking out, brody."
"Ghost", he ended the call, and I ended up get his Uptowns and a pair of red, white, and
gray Jordan Fours for Cherish.
When I got to Tone's house, I grabbed his sneakers and the brown paper bag, with the
four zips in it, out of the trunk. Finding my key when I got to the front door, I unlocked it and
stepped Side, the smell of fresh cinnamon carpet powder attacking my nostrils. Tone was on
the couch, his attention on a high yellow girl I'd never seen before.
"What's popping, bro", Tone acknowledged me as I was taking off my shoes.
"Ain't shit. Yo donuts are in the bag, and here's your shoes. Don't forget me next time
you come across some exclusive shit. Eight and a half's!"
"Oww. Baby you got us donuts?!!!", the high yellow girl damn near screamed excitedly,
as she reached for the bag.
"Not those kind of donuts baby", Tone said snatching of the paper bag and then turning
his attention to me as I sat down on the loveseat and eyed the dingy girl. "I got you. Shit, I
practically raised you; I know what size shoe you wear. Here's the three I owe you."
The high yellow girl nudged Tone, which only got her a strange and slightly menacing
look out of my older brother. She cleared her throat, begging to be acknowledged more, and
Tone caught on, finally.
"Oh, where are my manners. Marvin, this is Tisha. Tisha this is my little brother,
Marvin."
"How you doing, Tisha? Nice to meet you", I said, acknowledging her with a nod.
"How you doing, Marvin? It's nice to meet you too", she said, smiling a silly grin that
made her look more goofy than sexy.
Tone looked at me with a smile that said give her a pass, he knew that I knew that she
was a nitwit. He must really like this one.
"I'ma get up out of here", I decided, trying to give them some privacy.
"You going to Summer Jamz?", Tone asked as I moved to the door to put my sneakers
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back on.
"Yeah; I'll probably stop through. It's at Hart Plaza, right?
"Yeah, and it's gonna be jumping", he said with an excitement that the girl seemed eager
to match.
"Yeah, I'll stop by. Hit me, and we'll meet up."
"Alright, love you, lil bro."
"Love you too, bro; and, again, it was nice to meet you Tisha", I said closing the door
behind me before she got the chance to say something that would make me think even less of
her.
Birds were chirping and the sun was shining brightly; nature was begging for my
attention, but I had work to do, and looking at my car, as I walked towards it, I realized that I had
twenty thousand in the trunk, and I had, over, thirty-three hundred dollars in my pocket. I was
still going down if I got pulled over by the police. I had no way to account for the money, and if
they found they would more than likely confiscate it. The car was a little too flashy to be riding
around with that much money in the trunk. I work to do today, and I needed a simple vehicle. I
called Tracy while leaning against my beautiful cop magnet.
"Hey, baby", she answered on the third ring.
"Did you find anything ?", I asked.
"Yeah, I found a one bedroom, for five-fifty a month. I gave them eleven hundred for the
first month's rent and the deposit."
"You should've let me see it first, but that cool. What you doing right now?"
"I'm about to go to Arby's and get me something to eat. Why? You want something?"
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"Naw. I'm cool on the food. Just meet me at the condo."
"Aight. I love you."
"I love you too, lil mama."
I got in my car, and played "1-900 Hustler" while cautiously making my way back home.
I checked the rear view, drove under the speed limit, and made sure I had my seatbelt on every
time I stopped at a red light. I used my signals when needed, and I even kept the volume low on
my system.
I made it home without incident. Thank God! After what happened earlier with the
police, I'd decided to park my car for the rest of the weekend, or until I can get some real plates.
I was going to have Tracy drop me off at Ti's, and ride around in his Ford escort wagon all day,
but I came up with a better idea.....rentals! it had been a while since we got rental cars and now
would be the perfect time. No one would notice the cares, or no who was in them, and they
wouldn't be too flashy.
Tracy was at the condo when I got there. I went to the trunk, transferring the five stacks
that was in the paper bag into the knapsack that carried the fifteen racks, pulling it out of the
trunk, and tossing it over my shoulders. I also got the shoes that I bought for Cherish. When I
opened the door and entered the condo, Tracy was on the couch eating her food and watching
"ESPN's First Take."
"What is Skip crying about now?", I asked, kissing Tracy's cheek. And sitting the shoes
and the sack on beside the couch.
"He's saying people don't give Tim Tebow enough credit for being a winner", she
answered without taking her eyes off of the television, stuffing her face with curly fries.
by: Melvin Spencer
"For once, I agree. Look, when you get done eating I need you to take me and TJ to
Avis."
"To Avis? For what?"
"To get some rentals for the weekend."
"What's wrong with your car?", she asked curiously.
"Nothing! I just want something else for the weekend, so hurry up." She gave me the
evil eye, and I changed my tone. "Please."
I snatched up the bag of money and made my way to the back room; I called T.I.
"What's popping, bro?", he answered.
"What's good. What you think about rentals for the weekend?"
"That's straight", TI said as if it was something we do frequently.
"I'm 'bout to have Tracy come through and scoop you, and then take us to Avis."
"Come through; I'll be ready."
"Aight. Ghost!", I said ending the call.
I put the sack of money in the closet with the other sixty thousand, keeping the thirtythree hundred on me. Soon Tracy was finished with her food and we jumped in her car and
made our way to TJ's I had Cherish's shoes with me, and my iPod from the house, so I could
play my music in the rental. TJ was ready when we pulled up, and after he hopped in, saying hi
to Tracy, we made our way to Avis.
"You good on money?", I asked Tracy as we drove through Romulus.
"Yeah, I'm good. You just make sure you call me tonight, so I can make sure that you're
aight. I don't wanna be up all night worrying about if something's happened to you, Marvin."
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"I'll be cool. Don't worry about me", I assured her as we pulled into the Avis parking
lot, kissing her forehead. "I'll call you tonight, lil mama. I love you."
"I love you too, Marv."
"I love you, Tracy", TI said with a smirk, sticking a blunt, that he spent the whole ride
rolling to perfection, in the front pocket of his shirt.
"Shut up, boy, and get out of my car", she said before kissing me on the lips.
After kissing Tracy goodbye, TJ and I went to pick out rentals. I picked out a red Ford
Expedition while Ti got a red Dodge Durango. We paid for the weekend, and were ordered to
have the trucks back Monday by noon. I dropped the Expedition off at Ti's, and I jumped in the
truck with him and we made our way to Westland to do a little gardening.
"This shit is nice! I'm thinking about getting one of these", Ti said with admiration in
his voice.
"When we lock this shit up we'll be buying cars like we buy shoes. Feel me? What you
tryna do, my gee?", I asked, giving him a little shove.
He smiled, a rare smile. "Let's get it!"
"So how many people do you know out here in Westland?", I asked.
"I know a couple lil niggaz. They nickel and diming, but they trained to go. In fact, they
used to cop from Malcolm."
"Well, they won't be doing that no more. Looks like they goin' need somebody else to
cop from. You think you can make something happen?"
IT just looked at me with a sinister smile, realizing the prospect of taking over and
locking down Westland. We could used the kind of money that's out here in this area. The
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potential out here is so great, and in my eyes this would be a big and profitable investment. First,
we had to know exactly what we were getting into.
We ended up pulling into the same apartment complex that we were at last night. The
same apartment complex where we'd left Malcolm and his cousin dead. Malcolm's pleading
eyes flashed in my mind. Admittedly, it felt kind of weird being in these same apartments, but I
shook it off at the potential of making a lot of money in this very same complex. I lit a cigarette,
as•TJ pulled up next to a small playground, with one basketball rim and a jungle gym.
"You see them lil niggaz right there, on the court?", TJ asked, nodding towards two cats
in LeBron jerseys and all black Air Force Ones.
"That's Lamont; they call him Chubbs, and the skinny one is Troy. They about fifteen or
sixteen, but they get money."
"Well look, when I get the weight from this new connect, bricks are twenty-five, halves
are thirteen, and O's are nine hundred. Whatever you wanna sell it to them for is on you. But
holla them now, before they find somebody else to cop from. In the mean time, you can get
them straight off the sixteen ounces you got in the stash."
We hopped out of the truck. There was something about the air out here, something I
didn't notice when we were out here the last time, probably because I was getting ready to kill
someone. But there was something rich in the air, nothing like the air in the city. A cleanliness
hung in the air. I was breathing in opportunity.
"Yo Chubbs, Troy, what's popping?", TJ called, and they walked over and gave II some
dap.
"What's up, .1", Chubbs spoke. "What you doing out this way? You heard about what
by: Melvin Spencer
happened to Malcolm right?"
TI
lied. "Now; what happened?"
Troy spoke this time. "Somebody ran in the crib; peeled him and his cousin. Left
Malcolm stankin', butt naked. But the bad thing is, they nicked up our hustle at the same damn
time."
"Who dis?", Chubbs asked nodding in my direction.
"That's my mans", TI said, and I dapped them both up, leaving it at that, because I had
no intentions on formally introducing myself, not yet; the less they know, the better.
"So ya'll ain't got shit left?", TI asked.
Chubbs spoke before Troy could lie or stop him from talking too much. "Naw, we got a
few balls left. Why you need something?"
From the little time that we interacted with these lil niggaz, I could tell that Troy was the
smarter of the two, and I could see that they both had a healthy amount of fear and respect for IL
That ensured me that TJ would get his money if he asked for it. Chubbs talked a little too much,
but Troy could keep him in line. All in all, I had to respect them
lid nigga's
hustle.
"Now, I'm good", 'II said. "But I can get it to you hard for eight hundred a zone."
I watched their eyes light up at the prospect of having another connect.
"Cool, we'll hit you when we're ready", Troy assured him
I could sense a little apprehension on Troy's part, but not enough to make me worried. I
mean, what other alternative did they have? They could cop from us at a fair and reasonable
price, or they could go shopping for a connect who might just as well jerk them. At least they
knew TI. I had no doubt that they'll be calling soon enough. Tj and I made our way back to the
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truck after dapping them up again.
"Where to now?", TJ asked as we hopped in the truck.
"Back to yo crib. I gotta make a few phone calls."
As drove back to Inkster and Lil Wayne's "Money on my Mind" played through the
factory speakers in the truck, I was in deep thought. I was on my way to locking up Westland,
but Inkster would prove to be a little more difficult. I had sees planted across Michigan Avenue,
with Ant and Brandon, but there were still two spots I wanted money flowing from: Lemonye
Gardens and Demby Projects. I knew some of the old heads from the Gardens; Bear, Big Ed,
and Joker, but it was some young boys that were wild but well respected that I wanted down with
my team. Brian and Twan use to live over there and still had a report with some of those young
boys.
The Demby Projects (Saigon) would be harder, but I think we have a way in. tae met a
few cats from over there during their AAU basketball tournaments, and he still sales them weed
from time to time. If we can see where these cats heads are at, we could put them down; or at
least pick their brains for info on who could help us. I'd hit Tae up after I called Brian.
Last, but not least, was my hood. Once Tone and I got rid of the competition on Asbury
Park, we'd bang on a few doors, and circle a few corners. Eventually, we'll have Joy Road back
to Ford Road on lock, from Greenfield to the Southfield Freeway. We'd be up to a hundred
bricks a month by his time next year. But first things first.
When we pulled up to Ti's house Tasha, Cherish, Tiffany, Meelca, and her friends Alicia
and Kesha were crowded on the front porch. The streets that used to be crowded when we were
kids were void of children at play. No curb ball, no football, no freeze tag games, no nothing. It
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actually made me sad to see that this generation of kids were lacking the same companionship
and active friendships that we had. The sun was shining and the skies were clear, and there was
no one out to enjoy it.
"Dang, TJ, where'd you get that truck from?", Tiffany asked, coming off of the porch as
we got out of the vehicle.
"It's a rental, for the weekend. No you can't drive it, and no I can't take you anywhere."
"Come on, 'U. Take me, Meeka and Cherish to the store", Tiffany pleaded.
"No, Tiffany; I'm busy."
"Marv, where's yo car?", she turned to me, a look of desperation on her face that I
couldn't say no to.
"Come on, but to the store and that's it", told Tiffany who waved Meeka and Cherish
over; then I turned to IL "TI, call Brian, Twan, and Tae; tell them to meet us here. I'll be right
back."
"Cherish, sit up front", I said, hiding a smile, know I couldn't bear to look at Meeka
without feeling some kind of way. Plus, I had a surprise for Cherish.
"Who's truck is this?", Meeks asked as she and Tiffany climbed into the backseat.
"It's a rental."
"Marv, you gotta pair of shoes on the seat. What you want me to do with them?",
Cherish asked as she opened the passenger side door, seeing the Jordan shoebox.
"Those ain't mine."
"Well, whose are they?", she asked, picking up the box and opening it.
"They're yours. Happy Birthday."
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"Thank you, Marv!"
"You're welcome", I said with a smile.
They went into the store a purchased some blunt wraps and a shit load of candy, sodas,
and potato chips, and I think Tiffany bought some ELI Brandy also. Cherish assured me that
she was neither drinking nor smoking, which made me happy. After taking them to the store and
back, I went to the basement where Brian, Twan, and TJ were wailing. Tae asn't there yet; go
figure!
"Twan, Brian, what's popping?", I greeted them as I descended the stairs.
"Ain't shit. What's good?", Twan dapped me up.
"Ya'll still be chilling in the Gardens?"
"Yeah, every once in a while I go and chill with Brucie and Bear, and I'm always over
there fucking with Psycho", Brian said.
"They still working?"
"Yeah, but it's been slow motion. Hurricane Katrina really fucked up their connect; you
know he was from New Orleans. But psych be wildin' walking around like he D-Bo, beatin'
niggaz ass for no apparent reason."
"We goin' have to pay them a little visit."
"What up doe?", Tae said, walking down the stairs, finally showing up fresh to death in
designer shades; looking like new money.
"What's good? What you been up to?", I asked while dapping him up.
"Ain't shit. Was up there talking to Meeka. She said Malcolm was everybody's supplier
out there. Now niggaz is scrambling tryna find a new connect. She said her brother been talking
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about going up to New York to find one."
I looked at TJ expectantly. Taking the hint, he got up instantly to talk to Meeka. We
needed that business, and the more people we got now in Westland, the more people will start
talking about who they were getting their work from, and in this case that would be a good thing.
Word of mouth is, by the way, the best form of advertisement. When TJ left I talked to Tae.
"Tae, you still be fucking with them cats you use to ball with, in them AAU tournaments,
from Saigon?"
"Yeah, I still kick it with Rodrick and Lefty, every once in awhile I still sale them sacks
from time to time, and we ball every other weekend at the Y on Michigan Ave. why what's
good?"
"Do they be working?"
"Enough to get them clothes and kicks, but nothing major."
"Well, we goin' have to pay them a visit too."
After running down my plans for regional domination, we all walked outside to see what
Meek was talking about with her brother and the other niggaz in Westland, and if TJ had
capitalized on this amazing opportunity. Just as I expected, TJ was on the phone with Meeka's
brother. That's my dude! I could always count on him to get this money and to have my back;
we had like minds and we thought the same when it came to business.
It seems that getting rid of Malcolm had become more profitable than we originally
intended; and if everything else fell into place, money was going to be coming soon, and faster
than we'd be able to count it. I looked at my nigaaz; Brian, Tae, and Twan were talking to
Meeka and her friends, and TJ was still on the phone when Cherish approached me.
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"How did you know my birthday was coming up?", she asked with a smile.
"I know everything, little lady."
"I'm not a little lady", she said, balling up her fist, playfully; and I flinched purposely.
"Man! Okay, you're not a little girl, you're not a little lady. What should I call you?"
"Young woman! I'll be sixteen Sunday, so call me young woman."
"How about beautiful young woman?", I said with a smile.
"Now that's....", she started, but I held up a finger as my phone started vibrating.
"Hold that thought, Boo Boo", I said, pushing accept on the phone, seeing that it was
Tracy calling.
"Hey, lil mama; what's up?"
"Where you at?", she asked, sounding like she was straining.
"I'm at s, baby. Why? Where you at?"
"I'm at the hospital. Marv, I'm pregnant!"
Fuck11111111111111
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Chapter 21
I looked at the scenery that passed as we made our way, Brian and I, towards the city.
The leaves on the trees were looking vibrant, the summer was in the beginning stages, and while
summer was starting to blossom, apparently, so were other things. As Brian drove the truck in
silence, I tried to process this new information Tracy just relayed to me.
"Is she goin' be sight?", Brian asked, breaking the silence that stood in the air, and my
train of thought.
"I hope so. I'd go crazy if something happened to that girl."
"It's a crazy situation, man", he said absent-mindedly, but I knew what he meant.
How was I going to deal with this situation? I mean, the pregnancy was enough, but the
fact that Tracy and I had been creeping around would come to light, soon, and in a way that I
never expected it to. The truth shall come to the light The probability that I could lose Tracy or
Gina in the process stood at an even fifty-fifty. I couldn't worry about that right now, I had to
make sure that Tracy was alright first and foremost. We pulled into the parking lot of Mercy
Hospital parking lot.
"You ain't gotta stay if you don't want to, bro. you can go and chill at the condo", I told
Brian for the second time.
"I told you I'm cool. I got you."
We parked the truck and we made our way to the emergency room. The place was
crowded as usual. I guess people are always dying or getting hurt, and babies were always being
born into this shitty ass world. Brian found a seat in the waiting area, while I made my way to
the receptionist desk.
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"I'm looking for Tracy Haze1ton", I told the dark skinned, heavy set nurse with the
Sponge Bob scrubs on.
"And who are you, sir?", she asked, starting to click on her keyboard.
"I'm her fiance", I answered, trying my best to calm myself.
"She's in the examination rooms. Go through those double doors, turn left down the hall,
and she'll be in examination room D. it should be on your....", she made gestures with her arms,
trying to remember which side of the hallway examination room D was on. "On your right
side."
"Thank you."
I made my way through the double doors, and down the sterile hallway that was cluttered
with hospital equipment, such as heart monitors, and unused wheelchairs. When I got to the
examination room, I found Tracy sitting up on the table holding her stomach. I ran to her side.
"Baby, how are you? You okay? What did the doctor say?", I asked hugging her and
holding her tight to my chest.
Before she could answer any of my questions, the doctor walked in. "Hi, how are you
doing? I'm Doctor Evans; and you are", he asked, extending his hand towards me.
I shook it. "I'm Marvin Williams, her fiancé."
"Well, Mr. Williams, Tracy is six weeks pregnant, and is suffering from minor stomach
cramps and shortness of breath; which is not at all uncommon for women who are expecting."
"Is there anything we can do about it, Doc? I don't want her to suffer."
"This is usually stress related, but she's also dehydrated; so I suggest she gets plenty of
rest, drink plenty of fluids, and try not to worry so much. If she does this your fiancee will be
fine, Mr. Williams. I'm going to prescribe her something for the stomach pain, and you all can
be on your way."
"Thank you, Doc", I said, shaking his hand again, and he smiled and exited the room.
Brian followed us in the rented truck, and I drove Tracy's car. We stopped to pick up
Tracy's prescription, and then I took her back to the condo so that she could get the much needed
rest that the doctor had insisted that she get. I let the sounds of Kenny G, playing on the jazz
station, soothe her while she rested on the passenger side. She had already let her eyes droop,
and the sight her was such a beautiful one. Yet, the predicament we found ourselves in was
anything but pretty. She was in love with her friend's boyfriend, and pregnant with his child.
But what if the baby ain't mine? Don't do that, Marvin, I scolded myself for even
entertaining such a thought. She did nothing but love me, even if it was based on deceit, I still
owed her the same in return. We made a love child, but somewhere in my heart I wished it was
with Gina. I know that isn't fair to Tracy, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Besides,
things would be less complicated, much easier, sensible, and acceptable. But, of course, life is
like a box of chocolate, and my appetite is insatiable.
We pulled into the condo, waved through by the guard at the gate with a smile. I parked
and helped Tracy inside after Brian opened the door for me. I took Tracy to her room, and after
laying her in the bed I removed her shoes, covered her up with a quilt, and made my way to the
door to get her some iced water from the kitchen.
"Are you leaving?", she asked, her eyes still closed.
"No baby. I'm going to get you a pitcher of iced water and a glass; gotta keep you
hydrated. Why? Do you need something else?" I sat down next to her.
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"I need you, Mane", she said holding back tears.
I held her. "Baby, I'm not going anywhere."
The tears continued to flow. "I don't wanna lose you, Marvin. I need you. The baby
needs you. I love you so much."
She was in a very vulnerable spot. She looked like a totally different person from the girl
that I'd come to know and love. I understood why she was telling me these things. Tracy had
seen how fast I've been moving lately, and I guessing she knew about the Malcolm situation.
She's knows what I do, and sees the potential dangers and the risks that I'm taking. She knew
the danger I was putting myself in. she had seen me in ICU on the brink of death once, and she
feared losing me forever. And the pregnancy made it all the more imperative that I be around.
"I love you, Trace, and I'll always be here for you." A promise I had no way of ensuring.
When Twan came and picked up Brian, I thanked them for everything, and told them I'd
get at him first thing in the morning. I wasn't doing anymore business today. I cut my phone off
and didn't take any calls. I watched Tracy rest and every two hours I forced her to drink a glass
of ice water. Until I finally dosed off. When I woke up the next morning Tracy wasn't in bed
and the moment I cut my phone back on, it started vibrating. I had messages and someone was
calling me. I answered the phone.
"What's popping?"
It was Gina, filly awake, while I was still half asleep. "Hey, baby", she said giddy with
excitement.
"What you all excited about?", I asked.
"Summer Jamz, baby. You know Ne-Yo is supposed to be there; that's my baby."
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"Oh yeah! So where does that leave me", I asked, sitting up in bed.
"1 love you, but if he ever asked me out, me and you can still be friends."
I laughed.
"Where you at?", she asked.
I lied. "Over TJ's, we pulled a flight last night on the Xbox. I'll hit you up when I get
back to the condo, and we can meet up and go shopping, aight."
"Aight! I love you, boy."
"I love you too, G."
When I got off of the phone, I went in to the bathroom to find Tracy soaking in a bubble
bath. Her body was covered in the bubbles, and her smile was big when she saw me walk in. I
went over to her and kissed her.
"Good morning, beautiful", I greeted her, and she offered me her lips and again, and I
kissed them. "How you feel, lil mama?"
"I feel a lot better, thanks to my little care giver", she said, flicking bubbles at me.
"You hungry", I asked, running my fingers through her thick fuzzy hair.
I kissed her again. "Good, when you get out of the tub, you can cook for us."
I laughed as I ran out of the bathroom. I went and got a fresh pair of boxers and a new
white beater. While I waited on Tracy to get out of the tub, I checked the stash to see how much
money I had besides the eighty grand from the last few days. Checking my safe that I'd brought
from Tone's, I counted sixty grand. I took ten out and put the eighty in the safe. With a hundred
and thirty thousand dollars, I was straight; and with this other lick before we met the connect I'm
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sure I'll have the hundred and fifty grand. I called TJ.
"What's poppin, bro? How's your girl?", he answered.
"Ain't shit. She good! How you though? What happened with Meeka's brother? Did
you make that happen?"
I hadn't missed much, and I was right back, eager to put this shit in motion. It was good
to take a day of and nurse Tracy back to good health, but it was back to business as usual, and I
couldn't miss this money. I know this day would be dedicated to the crew and having fun at
Summer Jamz, but even then I'll still be out plotting, planning, and networking.
"Yeah, I already dropped him off six zones, enough to hold him over til whenever; it'll
give him time to see how fast he works. Plus, I told him we'll have the weight for him in a few
weeks. He said he'd let his partners know, so Westland is about to be sewed up."
"That's good! What's popping with you today?", I asked.
"Brian and Tae talking about Summer Jamz. You tryna go?"
"Yeah, I gotta take Gina shopping first. You know she gotta be little miss fresh to
death."
"Well shit Tiffany, Tasha, and Cherish talking about going shopping, and I need a fit and
some kicks. Why don't we meet ya'll there."
"Alright. I'll hit you on the horn, and we all can go together."
"Alright, bro."
"Ghost."
I called Gina back.
"Baby, you at home?", I asked.
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"Yeah, Marv; 'just called you from home."
"Alright; you got that", I said accepting her smart comment. "I'ma take a shower, go
pick up Tracy, and then I'll come and get you."
"Tracy?! Is she coming with us?", she asked, skepticism in her voice.
"Yeah, the whole crew's coming. Plus, she already asked me; so get ready. I'll be there
in forty-five minutes. I love you."
"Love you too."
Tracy finally came out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around her voluptuous
body. She looked so beautiful, and sexy too. I'd heard that a pregnant woman's glow is hard to
resist, but damn! I had to stay focus. I didn't have time for that at the moment; I had a lot to do
and little time to do it.
"Are you cooking, baby?", I asked, walking into the room behind her, still trying to resist
the urge to make love to her then and there.
"Yeah, nigga!" I know she's white, but I'm not going to try to change her, plus she's so
damn sexy.
"Aight. I'ma take a shower, then we'll eat, and then we gotta go and pick Gina up so we
can go shopping; I already told her you'll be with me. And hurry up with that food, I'm hungry."
I took a quick fifteen minute shower, trying to relax myself. I'd spent a day away from
the streets, and already I was itching to get back. Today would have to be about chillin' and
having fun, but it would also be a good opportunity to do some networking. I wanted my team to
have an edge over all these other niggaz out here, and in order to do that I had to keep my ears to
the street, and that meant I had to be in the streets. We had to cement our spot in this game and
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let everyone know that we didn't have plans on leaving anytime soon.
When I got out of the shower, Tracy was fully dressed, eating waffles with sausages on
the side, watching the qualifying for NASCAR's Sprint Cup race. After I threw on a fresh white
tee, some red Dickie's shorts, my white and red low top Air Force Ones, and my red Cincinnati
Reds snapback, I watched as Kyle Busch qualified in the pole position, and I ate my food. What
got me started watching NASCAR, you ask? I started watching with Tone (he'll gamble on
anything), and I grew to like it.
When we finished eating, we went to go and pick up Gina. I went to the door to collect
Gina, the gentleman in me, and I opened the passenger side door of the truck while she climbed
in.
"Where did you get this truck from?", she asked, with a motherly tone.
"It's a rental, baby. I'm not driving my car downtown! Somebody might pull a hit and
run on my baby. I can't have that. I love that car more than anything in the world", I said as we
pulled off, headed towards Fairlane Mall.
"Oh yeah, more than anything in the world?"
"Well, my mom, my brother, and of course, Tracy", I said jokingly.
She punched my arm, and then kissed my cheek; and I thought I saw her give Tracy a
look that was friendly yet competitive, but I wasn't quite sure so I dismissed it. I tossed my
phone back to Tracy, who appeared to be staring a hole into the back of Gina's head.
"Trace, call TJ and tell him that we're on our way to Fairlane, please", I instructed while
trying to give her a reassuring smile through the rearview mirror.
"TJ's coming too?", Gina asked, giving me the feeling that she wanted this day to be
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about me and her.
"Yeah. I didn't tell you that today is Crew Appreciation Day? Everything is on me!"
We met TJ, Cherish, Tiffany, Shantell, and Tasha at the food court, and when I explain
the concept of Crew Appreciation day, TJ insisted on helping me out. The girls went crazy in the
decided to get matching Baby Phat outfits, complete with accessories. TJ and I kept it simple
with all white Polo short sets, and white Boston Red Sox fitted hats; and everybody got a pair of
crispy white Air Force Ones Mids.
We all went back and packed ourselves in the condo to get dressed. It was a mess trying
to get into the bathroom, even for me and I was the one paying the bills. But the atmosphere was
a joyous one, and I couldn't complain about that. It took me and TJ less than ten minutes to
change into our outfits. I also put on my white Ralph Lauren frames with my white 0-Shock
watch. Elegant, yet casual and simple.
I called Brian and Twan, and told them we were on our way to Summer 1am7, and they
could meet us there. Tae had his phone off. It was becoming a constant thing, my not being able
to reach Tae, and it made me wonder what he was up to, and if it would be detrimental to what
we were trying to build.
It took the girls forty-five minutes to get ready; not bad considering the fact that they only
had one bathroom to work with. Soon we were all in the trucks and headed downtown to Hart
Plaza. It was a straight shot down Michigan Avenue. Cherish rode with me, Gina and Tracy,
and TJ had Tiffany, Tasha, and Shantell with him
Lil Wayne's "Carter 4" was playing through the factory speakers in the truck; the song
"So Special", with John Legend played, reminding me how special all three of these young
ladies are to me. These angels, sent to protect me in different ways, are all special in their own
way. As they conversed loudly, I realized that I loved them all equally, yet differently. There
was nothing I wouldn't do for these three girls.
Besides the heat, the day was amazing! I enjoyed the performances. Big Sean did his
thing, Wale killed it, and Ne-Yo's performance was crazy. The atmosphere was chill and
relaxed, saving the couple of fights that broke out, but me and my niggaz was cool. We met up
with Brian and Twan, who came with two girls that were cousins named Kit (Kitty) and ICat
(Katherine); I thought that kind of odd, but hey. Tae showed up out of nowhere with Tina. I
didn't like their union, being on how it came together, but who am Ito judge. Besides a gut
feeling, I didn't have any real reason not to like Tina
We also met up with my brother; he was with Tisha, the pretty dumb girl. While the girls
talked and admired each other's outfits, and the guys talked about the performances and
whispered about other girls that they'd seen, Tone and I chatted about the lick. He gave me the
logistics and let me know that it was going down on Wednesday. We didn't talk long before I
dapped him up and we parted ways. The evening ending with Drake performing "Fireworks"
while the fireworks show went off on the river.
When it was all over, we all agreed to go to Denny's for some food, I also had to discuss
some things with the fellas. We entered the crowded diner (guess we weren't the only hungry
ones), and they seated our party in two booths, having to slide two extra tables over to fit us all
in. The guys sat in one and the ladies sat in the other. This was the perfect time to discuss the
lick with the crew.
We all ordered, and ate I watched everyone, not wanting to forget this time in my life. I
knew that this was a monumental time for us all, and I, for one, didn't want to miss it. I took it
all in; the laughs, the smiles, the energy. But I couldn't do it for long; I had business to discuss.
"Alright, yall", I started after getting everyone's attention. "Bro put me down with the
lick; it's this Wednesday. He already got somebody helping him so he told me to pick two more
people, and I've decided to pick.....Brian and TJ."
"Why Brian and TJ9", Tae asked, looking at Twan, and Twan looked at me for an
answer.
"To be honest, Brian is the best driver, we all know that this ain't TJ's first rodeo, and to
be quite frank, their more level headed than you two."
I had to be honest with them, they wouldn't understand anything else.
"And what about you?", Tae asked.
"I'm going because those pussies left me for dead, and I wanna see em take their last
breath", I answered with a little more passion and volume than I'd intended to. "But everybody
is gonna benefit from this situation. This lick will get us some more work, which we'll divide
equally amongst ourselves once my brother and his boy get they cut. And the money will put us
where we need to be with the connect. Everybody wins, and everybody eats."
After everyone agreed to my proposal, everyone went back to eating and talking about
one thing or another. I looked over at the girls. While all of them were engrossed in a deep
conversation (probably about men), Tracy was eyeing our table; me specifically. Her eyes spoke
to me saying, "You promised, Marv. You promised to always be there."
She knew what I was planning. She knows me, and I can't help but think that she knew
this was coming and that it would come soon. One day I would exact my revenge on the
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cowards who robbed me and shot me, almost to death. And although she'd try, there was no
doubt that she would, she knew that there was no talking me out of it. I would not rest until they
were dead and cold in their graves. I couldn't let them walk God's green earth thinking that they
had gotten over on me, not Dorothy's son.
Tracy's eyes had a hint of sorrow and regret in them. I'd seen that look before when I
was laying in that hospital bed recovering from a near death experience. It was like her eyes
were trying to convey a message, saying she was sorry and regretted falling in love with me. All
too often, love is accompanied by regret; they are traveling companions. But she knew there was
nothing she could do about that either. She was in love with Marvin the lover, the provider, the
protector, the romantic, the all around good guy, and the regretful characteristics come along
with the ones that she loves and admire so much. But when you love that much and that hard,
you have to take the good with the bad, and pray to God that the good outweighed the bad.
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Chapter 22
I woke up the next morning with Gina in my arms and Tracy on my mind. I'd decided to
give Gina some quality time, because it seemed that my dilemma with Tracy had her getting
more of my time than what was normal. I knew that Tracy would need now more than
Gina, but the unfairness of it all was starting to get to me, and had me wondering how I could
make this right, and work out for all of us. Maybe I was getting in too deep. My mind and my
thoughts were going at a hundred miles a minute.
I looked at Gina, who was so loving, so caring, so trusting, and yet so oblivious and
ignorant to the drama that was unfolding around her. She deserved more, but I wasn't sure if I
could give it to her, and I damn sure wasn't about to let her go. Is that selfish? I kissed her lips,
as I slid out of bed, cautious not to disturb her sleep.
I needed something more; not necessarily more than what I had, but I needed strength,
something or someone to draw from, to help me figure out this situation. I looked at the clock as
I walked into the livingroom; it read 9:27 a.m. I did the only thing I knew how to do, what I'd
done plenty of times in the past; I called my mom.
"Hello", she answered, her southern accent still present in her tone, with Gospel music
blasting in the background.
"Hey, ma. What you doing?"
"I'm getting ready to go to church, Marvin."
My mother had started attending church services regularly after I'd gotten shot. Since
that day she's been a faithful parishioner at Faith Baptist Church, also attending bible study
groups, and even helping out with a bake sale or two. She said that she made a vow before the
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Lord, and that she intended to keep it, and by all accounts she has.
"You should come too", the suggested. "Lord knows you haven't been in awhile. The
Lord might have a blessing for you, baby."
I hadn't attended a church service since my pre-teenage years, so she was right on the
fact that I hadn't been in awhile, but the fact that God might have a blessing for someone like
me, didn't sound right at all. If He knew me, He'd reserve his blessing for someone more
deserving. Yet, something in my in my heart, my soul, my spirit something prompted me
to accept my mother's invitation. Maybe it was the fact that I just wanted to be in her presence.
"I'll see you there, ma."
"Wait; what?", she exclaimed, her voice full of surprise.
"I'll see you there. Eleven o'clock, right?"
"Yeah."
"Alright. I love you, ma."
"I love you too, boy."
It was a quarter dl by the time I woke Gina up from her slumber. I was going to church
for the first time in a while, so I didn't want to be late, but I had to know if Gina was coming
with me, or if she wanted me to drop her off at home. She looked at me, with sleep in her eyes,
and I used my forefmger to get it out as she laid there with confusion on her face.
"What time is it?", she asked.
"Fifteen minutes to ten", I answered, and she rolled back over. "Baby, I'm going to
church with my mom. Are you staying here or are you coming too?"
"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, rolling back over.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Yeah. Honestly, I do."
"I'm coming", she said, conjuring up a smile, and I kissed her lips.
"Cool. We can take a shower together."
After the shower, I found something appropriate, yet casual and comfortable to wear. I
know how long Church services can get, and if I'm going to have sit in that pew for such a long
time, I want to be comfortable. I put on some gray Burberry slacks, a gray long sleeve button
down from Ralph Lauren's Purple Label, with some Polo cufflinks, and some charcoal gray
Ferragamo dress shoes. I accented the outfit with a pair of one caret studs, my Cartier watch,
and some Cartier frames.
Gina looked beautiful in her Donna Karen dress, Prada Heels, with diamond studded
earrings, and the four caret necklace I bought her. We ate a quick breakfast of plain toast and
orange juice, and soon we were in the Porsche head to God's House. I put J. Moss on the iPod,
surprised that I still had a few gospel songs stored in there, and I played "We Must Praise".
We made our way into the sanctuary, and was seated by an older lady who wore white
gloves and directed traffic, just in time to catch the choir begin a medley of songs and hymns.
The music was upbeat and uplifting, set to energize the crowd of Jesus freaks just before the
offering was collected and the pastor too to the pulpit.
Everyone listened attentively as the pastor began to read from First Kings, chapter three,
verses five through fifteen; the story of Solomon and his request for wisdom above all other
things, so he could rightly judge the people. A selfless request! And because his request was so
selfless in nature, God made him the wisest, and also the richest man that ever lived.
The point that the pastor was trying to make, and the lesson that God was trying to teach
by: Melvin Spencer
us all was, be sincere in what you ask for and if it pleases God to give it to you, He will bless you
with it, and more. The message struck me hard, and it made me question my motives for doing
the things that I'm doing.
Although I liked the message, but I loved the singing. An angel with light skin and a
plump face, sung "His Eye is on the Sparrow". She had an angelic voice that relayed God's
message beautifully, and I knew that even though I was doing dirt I the streets, that He had His
eye on me; and not a critical eye, but an eye that said I care even if you think I don't. I knew He
was watching over me.
When the services ended, surprisingly prompt, I went to use the restroom. I had been
holding it the entire service, but I was afraid to leave the service for fear that I might miss out on
God's blessing; by now I was ready to burst. I left Gina with my mother while I went to relieve
myself.
When I came back into the sanctuary, the atmosphere felt inviting, like I was amongst
friends, or rather, family. I found Gina huddled around two other girls, talking and giggling.
She waved me over when she spotted me in the crowd of church-goers, and as I approached I
noticed the same girl that was singing during the service. Gina introduced the girls as her
cousins, Dominik and Bianca; Dominik was the singer's name.
"Nice to meet you, Dominik, you have a beautiful voice."
"What can I say? It's God given", she said with a modest smile.
Bianca was beautiful. With big brown eyes, thin lips, a petite frame, and no makeup; she
exuded natural beauty. She didn't seem like the prissy type, like Dominik and Gina seemed to
be, but in fact, she seemed to be more hood than anything, like a girl that you could just kick it
by: Melvin Spencer
with.
"It's nice to meet you also, Bianca", said greeted her, and she gave me a simple nod of
the head.
"Marv, can you drop us off at Dotninik's, it's right up the street?", Gina asked.
"Yeah, I got you. How you getting back home?"
"Bianca will take me."
I kissed my mother good-bye, thanking her for the invitation, and promising to call her
later. She was staying over for a dinner that the pastor was having in the basement of the church;
some annual dinner or another. Gina and her cousins were waiting for me in the car, and when I
got in Ne-Yo's "Miss Independent" was playing, and the girls were giggling and catching up on
old times. As I drove up the street, Gina pointed out a newly built house on the left side of the
street; I pulled into the driveway.
"Are you gonna be alright, boo?", I asked, kissing Gina.
"Yeah, baby. I'll call you later."
"Alright, I love you."
"I love you too, Marv."
"It was nice meeting yea", I said to Dominik and Bianca as they climbed out of the back
seat.
I drove back towards the church and made a right on Helen Street. As I drove, I decided
to go to TJ's while I was out that way. When I pulled up to TJ's there was about a half a dozen
cars parked in the driveway and more on the street. I wondered what was going on, what Ti's
mom was celebrating? I parked further down the street, and walked down to the house.
by: Melvin Spencer
When I stepped inside, the house was packed with little kids, teenagers, and adults.
"Hey, bestfriend!"
I looked up and saw Trice, my bestfriend and Cherish's sister. We gave each other long
and endearing hugs. It had been awhile since I'd seen her. She'd moved just outside of the city
since she'd gotten pregnant.
"What's up with you, girl?", I said, looking her over.
With dark skin, hair to cropped to her neckline, piercing brown eyes, a lengthy face, an
ama7ing smile, all set on a model's frame, she was a sight to behold. We'd become bestfriends
when I was staying with TJ, because we both were in the same predicament.
"Nothing much. Just chilling out. What's good with you?"
"I'm good. Getting ready to start school soon", I said, even though I wasn't sure WI
would enroll in a college or not. "Ain't nothing much. Where's Mac at?"
"He's in the basement with the rest of the niggaz, probably getting smoked out", she
answered, sounding frustrated, but I knew better than to ask her about it, because I'd never hear
the end of it, from the both of them.
Mac is my homie and Trice's boyfriend. Light skin, pretty boy ass nigga, but had hands
and will knock somebody out quick. He also swears that he's the best rapper alive! We used to
do a little something awhile back, but a lot has changed since then. After a few more minutes of
catching up with Trice, I made my way through the kitchen.
"Marvin, baby, you look sharp", Momma Rose acknowledged, standing at the kitchen
counter. "You want some cake and ice cream?"
Oh shit !! m I 'd forgotten that it was Cherish's birthday. I was glad that I'd given her
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those shoes a few days ago, because I probably would've forgotten about it.
"I'm good, ma. Where's the birthday girl?"
"She's out back with her little friends", she answered as I hug her and kissed her cheek.
After a few more hugs and hellos, I found my way to the backyard. The atmosphere was
festive. There were balloons tied to trees, ribbon strung up on the garage, and tables set up with
party gifts, and music playing in case someone wanted to get down with their bad self. Toya was
giving out gift bags when I walked out of the backdoor. Toya is Cherish's oldest sister. Tallish,
with a stacked body, and a great personality, Toya is an all around loveable person.
"What's up, Marvin?"
"What's going on, Toy?" She gave me a hug, and I stepped back and looked at her.
"You look good, girl. You look really good."
She did a turnabout, conscious of her figure. "You don't look bad yourself; where you
coming from all dressed up?"
"I went to church with my mom", I admitted, and she nodded with a look that told me she
wanted to say more, but this was neither the time nor the place for that, so I changed the subject.
"Where is Cherish?'
"She's over there sitting with her friends, in the garage."
I hugged Toya again, then I made my way over to Cherish. When I got to the pretty
sizable garage, I scanned the dwelling for Cherish. I saw Meeka, Tasha, Alicia, Kesha, and a
couple other girls; and when my eyes fell on Cherish, I was frozen in place. She was so beautiful
that I wanted to shed a tear, hell, I was on the verge of balling.
She had on a purple sundress, with violet floral arrangements printed in the fabric, with
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purple sandals. Her hair was straightened so that it came down to her shoulders, with a slight
bang that was accented with a purple streak. The first time I seen her with the purple streak un
her hair, I thought it kind of punk rockish, but today... .there was something about today, her
sweet sixteen, that gave her a sophisticated look; and the dangling earrings with the perfect
amount of lip gloss applied to her full lips, made the entire ensemble perfect for her.
"Hey, Marv", Meeks greeted me, catching me with my open in awe. "You're looking
good today, as usual."
"Thank you", I said, half-way ignoring her to get to Cherish.
When Cherish looked up and our eyes met, my heart smiled. What was this feeling? I
was proud of her, of course, but something else lingered there and I was starting to wonder ill
could avoid the feeling when it showed itself in full? When she got up and walked towards me,
it felt like we were alone in a world that would last forever, in a world that God wouldn't want to
destroy. I couldn't wait to hold her.
"Hey, Marvin", Cherish said as we embraced. There was something about the way she
said my name; I don't think she's ever called me Marvin, it was always Marv. But this day
marked the start of something new, something neither of us could deny. I didn't want to let her
go; I wanted to hold her forever.
"Happy Birthday, Boo Boo", I said, looking in her beautiful browns.
"Now that you're here, it feels like a sweet sixteen", she said, her smile beaming
"Sixteen, huh?", I said reaching in my pocket.
I noticed the money that she had pinned to her purple dress, a tradition in the hood. I
knew that I had about fifty-two hundred on me, and pulling out the knot, I peeled sixteen
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hundred dollar bills oft and handed it to Cherish.
"Don't pin this to your dress, somebody might try and rob you", I said with a slight
laugh. "And don't count that here, girl! Put that up."
Before she could start counting the bills, she smiled at me, looked around, and put the
hundred dollar bills in her cleavage.
"Very clever, Cherish. Just dig in yo cleavage in the middle of a crowded backyard.
Gotta admire your modesty."
She hunched her shoulders. "I ain't got no pockets."
I kissed her forehead; something that I've done before, but, again, it felt different.
"Happy Birthday, Boo Boo."
She smiled her beautiful smile, and not wanting to monopolize all the time with her, I let
her go back to her guest. She was young woman, a beautiful young woman. I said a few more
hellos, and then I made my way to the basement to see what was going on down there. Of
course, when I got to the basement, drinks were poured, blunts were passing, and the dice were
rolling.
Everybody was there; Brian, Twan, Tae, Lil Mike, Ant, Brandon, Milly, Mac, even
Chubbs and Troy. You could hear everyone calling out their bets as the dice clicked and
clacked. Money was everywhere; it was definitely going down.
"Marv, watch how this five come hard; no homo", Tae said before rolling the dice.
After he rolled a eight, I put a fifty dollar bet on the five-nine, that Twan took me up on.
After two more rolls the nine hit, and Twan doubled back on the straight five; I took the bet. Tae
shook the dice.
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"Feva in the fink house", he said, throwing the dice again.
He hit his point and I made a quick hundred dollars. I bent down to pick my money up,
bragging as I did so, only to have someone slap me on my ass. I turned around fast, ready to
swing on the culprit Only, I saw Ashley standing there smiling. My anger turned to happiness.
"Girl, you can't be slapping my ass in the middle of a crowded basement", I told her as I
gave her a hug.
Ashley is Cherish's sister also. The middle child. Mocha skin tone, a plain, yet kind,
face that made her even more desirable, no makeup of any kind, pretty, protruding lips, taller
than the average girl, and thicker than the average woman. Baby got back and front.
"Hey, Marv; how you doing?"
"I'm good, Ash! How you?"
"I'm good. Ain't too much going on."
"Well, you look good, girl. And I see you've been taking a lot of vitamin A and B", I
said.
"What?"
I motioned towards her breast and her ass. "A and B", I reiterated.
She laughed, and hit me playfully, but little did she know, it actually hurt a little bit.
"You crazy, Marv. It's always good seeing you. Don't be a stranger."
"Good seeing you too", I said, rubbing my now sore arm.
I got back to the dice game, intent on making some money, and having some fun. After
thirty more minutes of shit talking and money dropping, some counted their winnings, while
others licked their wounds. I was twelve hundred dollars richer when the game stopped and
You Win Some... .Some Lose Some
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everybody decided to try their hand on the Xbox. Betting on Madden was more civilized,
calming the room a little bit.
"Yo, I heard ya'll got it pooping, Marv", Mac said looking at the big TV screen.
"Nothing much. Hopefully, sometime soon, we can see some real paper."
"You know, over where I'm at, there's a lot of untapped potential. And I know just the
right people to make it jump off"
"Where you live at now, Mac?", Lil Mike asked, passing the blunt.
"Hamtramck, and Bro, that shit is crazy. Fiends stop me all the time, but I never have
anything on me, besides weed."
"Well, I got three powered donuts for you. You can do whatever you warms do with it,
just bring me back twenty-seven", I said.
I didn't care too much about the three ounces; it was all profit. It was the performance
that I was worried about. He if fucked it up I wouldn't lose anything, but if he worked hard we
could have another spot; and as a gardener you can never have too many trees, can never have
too many roots growing out.
"Oh yeah, I holla'd at Bear and Brucie, and they tryna get down. I hit them off today
with four apiece. I even gave Psycho one, to see what he do with it, knowing that he'll force
niggaz to cop from him", Brian said laughing, but still concentrating on the game he was
winning against TJ.
"What about you, Tae? Did yyou holla at Rodney and Lefty?", I inquired.
"Yeah; I'm supposed to meet them at the courts behind the old Woodson tomorrow. And
they said it's perfect timing cause a lot of niggaz got picked up during the sweep on Tuesday.
Dumb asses! You never post upon Tuesdays and Thursdays; you either work yo phone or you
trap. Some people never learn", said Tae.
Everything was going according to plan; in fact, it was going better than I'd planned it. I
know Mac to be a hustler, and everybody knows him to be a no nonsense kind of dude, so people
respected him. If all these runs work out the way they're suppose to, when the weight hit, we
could be sitting in the owner's box, watching our teams win.
Soon I was on the sticks, playing Tvvan for five hundred. Brian had just beaten TJ for
seven hundred, and of course TJ had that same nonchalant look on his face, as if he didn't care. I
wondered about that, because even if I didn't care about the money, I would defmitely care about
losing the game. My phone started to vibrate, just as we entered the second half, and I was up by
fourteen.
"Twan, you can't stop me, bro. I'ma twenty-one you while I'm on the phone.....Hello", I
answered.
"Hey, babe. Where you at?", Tracy asked on the other end.
"I'm at Cherish's birthday get together. Why? You alright?", I asked clicking away at
the buttons on the controller.
"Yeah, I'm chillin'; eatin' some KFC."
"Ya'll niggaz love ya'll some chicken, don't yall?", I said sarcastically.
"Not funny", she said laughing.
"Too much? I'm sorry."
"When you goin' be home?"
"What time do you want me home? Twan, you can't beat me, man. This shit is too
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easy."
"Did you hear me, Marvin?", Tracy yelled into my ear.
"My bad, lil mama. What'd you say?"
"I said, are you goin' go with me tomorrow to pick out some furniture for the apartment?
You know I move in this Wednesday."
"Do you want me to go with you, Trace?"
"Yeah! I do."
"Well, it looks like I don't really have a choke now, do I?"
"Whatever", she said sounding exasperated. "And we need to talk; so, again, what time
are you going home?"
"I don't know; I might pull an all-nighter over here at Tls. I'm making so much money
smashing them in this Madden, I would be a fool to leave. Ain't that right, Twan?"
"You getting' lucky", Twan said, sounding a little annoyed himself.
"How about I call you first thing tomorrow, and we go on your little furniture shopping
spree? Hell, I'ma be spending Twan's money anyway."
I knew she wouldn't be happy with me putting her off until tomorrow. She probably
thought I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, and the way she was trying to steer the
conversation, but I was well aware of it; I just didn't want to talk about that at that moment. She
didn't have too many options on that front so she relinquished her sword, ceasing fire until the
next day.
"Aight. I love you, Marv", she said.
"Love you too, Trace; bye."
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So what? I lied to Tracy. I had every intention of going home. I just wasn't ready to talk
about this pregnancy until I had an idea of what I wanted to do, and how to implement it into
action. I was flirting with a few ideas. Two things weren't an option: leaving Gina and leaving
Tracy, anything else could be considered.
I mean, I don't really believe in abortions, but in a situation like this one, every option
was a viable option. How could we bring a baby into this situation? Me and Tracy weren't
exclusive, like I said, I didn't have any plans to leave Gina, not without a fight. The whole
situation was flicked up; excuse my French. Could Tracy not see that? Was I the only one thing
about the future?
Oh shit! Interception! Juke left! Juke right! Up the sidelines! Touchdown Giants!
"That's twenty-one, Twan.", I said dropping the controller. "That's game! Please, pay
me in cash."
"Man, Drew Brees is a bum", he said digging in his pockets. "Here go yo money, lucky
ass nigga. I hate this game."
I laughed. "That's right. Don't hate the player, hate the game. I'm outty. Mac get them
three from TI, and get my number from him too. Ghost!"
I stuck my head in the kitchen as I came up the stairs, and said good-bye to TJ's mom and
her friends, then I made my way out the backdoor into the backyard. I found Cherish in the
garage, talking to some young light skinned cat. I have to admit, I was kind of jealous.
"Cherish, I'm gone", I called to her.
"Hold up, Marv; let me walk you out", Cherish said running up.
"Bye, Marv. I guess I don't get a hug, huh?", Tasha said half-smiling.
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Tasha, while beautiful and sexy enough to entice any man, was lacking in other areas that
may not be important to the guys that she's used to messing with, but were important to me. She
lead with her beauty and her body, which isn't bad at all, first and foremost, when I'm the kind
of guy it likes to know where a girl's head is at. Anyway, I kissed Tasha on her cheek as I
hugged her, and whispered in her ear.
"I don't like games unless they're on a TV screen. I'd prefer if you'd come direct."
She looked at me with her light brown eyes, and I gave her a soft smile to let her know
that I meant what I said, and that I believed she can do better than what she was given off. I took
Cherish's hand and prepared to leave after bidding everyone good-bye.
"Your sister is a trip", I told Cherish when we got through the gate.
"She likes you; she just doesn't know how to express it."
I changed the subject. "Ashley, Trice, and Toya seems to be doing good. I just wish my
BFF would call me more often; tell her she doesn't have to be such a stranger. Mac has the
number, or you can give it to her."
"I'll do that. Where did you park?"
"Down the block. Why? You goin' walk me to my car? You know, I don't think
anyone would mess with me if they see you with me."
Cherish laughed at my play at humor. "Sure, I'll walk you", She said, grabbing my hand
and placing it in her own. "So, did you get some cake? It was a Winnie the Pooh cake."
"Naw. I'm tryna watch my figure", I joked.
"Stop playing, boy; you look good."
"You look better", I said before I could catch myself. "No, really, you look beautiful,
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and I pray that you have a wonderful sixteenth birthday, Boo Boo", I said stopping at my car.
"You've already made it wonderful, Marv", she said, giving my hand a light squeeze.
"I've got a question."
"Okay; shoot."
"How do you feel about me?", she asked, looking at me intently, as if to read my facial
expression.
I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that. She caught me way off guard, and I didn't know
how to respond. What did she want me to say? Yeah, I like you but I've got these two other
girls that I have to worry about, and that's beginning to be too much?
"It's complicated", I said, honestly, looking in her eyes, praying that my answer was
sufficient, but knowing it wasn't.
Her eyes fell to the ground at my answer, and I was afraid that I'd disappointed her. But
apparently I hadn't, as she suddenly brought her lips to meet mine, and kissed me softly. I
wasn't expecting that, just as I hadn't expected it when she did it at the pool back at the condo,
only this time I returned her kiss. Now it was really complicated.
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 23
I had went home that night, and laid in the bed by myself, happy, for once, to be alone
with myself and my thoughts. I didn't get too much thinking done, because Cherish's kiss
dominated my thoughts most of the night, and it was taking over my dreams when I was woke up
the next morning to the sound of my cell phone ringing.
"Hello", I answered, sleepily.
"What are you doing, Marvin?", Tracy asked on the other line, sounding a bit agitated.
"I was asleep, but not anymore."
"I thought you said you were gonna call me first thing in the morning so we could go
shopping?"
"I was goin' call you."
"Marvin, it's a quarter to eleven, and you're still sleep."
"And I was having a good dream too. Halle Berry and Megan Fox were about....."
"Get up and get dressed!", she said, cutting me off with exasperation in her tone.
"I guess they don't teach manners in your household, huh?", I said as I climbed out of
bed.
"Please", she said before hanging up.
I got up, took a shower, threw something on, and grabbed ten stacks out of the stash.
Soon Tracy showed up with her attitude on.
"Hey baby", I greeted her, kissing her on the cheek.
"Don't hey baby me! It's 11:45 and we're just getting started. I don't want to be out
shopping all day, Marv."
by: Melvin Spencer
I explained to her that she had to follow me to Avis so that I could return the truck, then
I would ride with her to go furniture shopping. I took the truck back to the rental place and
jumped in the car with Tracy, and we headed to go shopping.
"Sorry, baby. I was out late and I forgot to set the alarm. But we'll go to Aaron's, pick
out whatever you want, and I'll make sure it's delivered to your apartment Wednesday", I
explained.
"Marvin, you can't just brush everything off like it's no big deal. Money doesn't make
up for everything."
"Tracy, chill! It's not a big deal."
"You shouldn't tell people one thing and do another. Remember, say what you mean and
mean what you say."
I really didn't understand why she was tripping over something so small and minute.
Yet, I knew I couldn't win, especially not with her using my own words against me.
"Alright. I'm sorry, Tracy. Can we not argue? You know I can't stand it when you're
mad at me; even though you look so damn sexy when you're mad", I said; she smiled, and I was
flushed with relief.
We went to Aaron's Furniture store, and I let Tracy pick out everything she wanted,
hoping that she would shop the anger out of her system, and, of course, she didn't fail me. She
picked out a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, four lamps, a sofa, a love seat, a recliner, and a dining
room set. She went all out, but she wasn't even close to finished.
After spending sixty-five hundred at Aaron's, we went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We
went through aisle after aisle, picking out everything from comforters to bath towel rings, she
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even picked out some toothbrush holders. By the time she finished she was smiling again, and I
was hungry as cow in a concrete jungle.
After the shopping spree, we went to Ryan's Steakhouse for something to eat. Being that
I had no idea how hungry I truly was, because I hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before, I got
us both the buffet, and Tracy ordered a steak, medium rare.
"Are you happy now?", I asked, carrying our plates back to our table for two.
"I'm always happy when I'm with you, Marvin", she said as if she couldn't remember
pouting half the day.
"You spazzed on me earlier. What was that about?"
"Truthfully", she started before chewing up the French fries that she was eating. "I've
been overly emotional lately; the doctor said that I would experience mood swings. But, I
realize, now more than ever, that we have to grow up, and fast, due to our current situation."
I had been avoiding this elephant as it stomped around in the small room, breaking china,
and shitting all over what we had, inside of our comfort zone, but just missing me. Yet, now it
was coming at me, full steam.
"So, Tracy; what are we gonna do about our current situation?"
"What do you mean, exactly?"
All shit, here we go!
"To be frank, Tracy, I don't think this is the right situation to bring a baby into."
"What are you saying, Marvin?"
"I'm just looking at things from the point of logic and rationale. We're both barely
eighteen, we just graduated high school, and without college our prospects are slim; we got
money for now, but how long will that last? I don't warma be out here hustling forever. And
one major point is, we're not in an exclusive relationship. How is that gonna work out for us?
Better yet, how is that gonna work out for the baby?"
"Are you saying you want me to get an abortion?", she asked, dropping her fork and
looking at me intently.
"I'm not say I do; I'm not saying I don't. At this point, I don't know what I want, but I
do know I don't want to speak about definites if it's not best for all the parties involved."
"Again, what are you saying, Marvin? Say what you mean and mean what you say!"
"I'm saying, let's look at all of our options as viable ones."
There was an intense stare in her eyes for a moment, one that I thought would never end,
but luckily she picked up her fork and went back to picking at the food on her half eaten plate.
Suddenly, our surroundings came into focus for me again. I noticed the fans that twirled silently,
all around the restaurant, the curtains that adorned the windows, their floral print, highlighted by
the sun that shined through, the older couples who talked casually over their meals; I looked at
anything that would keep me from looking into Tracy's intense eyes. When there was nothing
else to look at, I stole a glance, and I could see her wheels turning; she was thinking about
something.
Suddenly she spoke.
"Marvin, look. I told you from the beginning that I'll be what you need me to be. I knew
that things were gonna happen that I'm not going to like, and I knew that I would have to make
sacrifices in the name of love. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, but I think this situation is
forcing us to accept the possibility that there is a flaw in this relationship."
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Duh! I realized that from the beginning, yet and still, here we are. I didn't vocalize these
sentiments, I let her continue, and she did.
"I believe we both know how selfish and irresponsible we've been and continue to be, but
we've failed to see, or at least acknowledge, how detrimental our selfishness and irresponsibility
can be. This situation is proof of the potential our relationship has, both positively and
negatively."
She continued before I could intellect with a rebuttal. "The lives of people we both care
about and love could be ruined. We have to learn to become more accountable for our actions,
realize that with every action there's a reaction, and the consequences of those actions are
something we have to accept and deal with accordingly. Like I said, I'll support you, and I'll
love you forever, but I want you to look at this situation from a three hundred and sixty degree
angle, and when you've done this , tell me your decision. But until you've thought this through
thoroughly, we won't discuss it, agreed?"
I thought about her logic, and thought about my own, but everything was happening so
fast, I think some time to think this through is what we both needed. Besides, I know that there's
a point that she's trying to make, and I wouldn't do her the disservice of making a decision
without her, on any account, nor would I want to come to a conclusion prematurely.
"Agreed", I said, resolutely.
We both nibbled at a dessert of peach cobbler and ice cream, finishing our food in
relative silence. Soon we were making our way back to the condo. Outside of the Beyonce song
that played through the stereo, the ride back was quiet also. It was obvious that we both were
deep in thought, I just wished I knew what she was thinking. Suddenly, my phone rang.
by: Melvin Spencer
"What's popping?"
"What's good?", Brian asked on the other line.
"Ain't shit. Me and Trace headed back to the condo. Did you holla at TJ?"
"Yeah. He on his way to yo spot right now."
"Cool!", I said, thinking I could use the distraction. "I'll be there in a few. And Brian,
don't let them niggaz eat up all my food."
"I got you."
"What ya'll 'bout to do?", Tracy asked, when I ended the call.
"We gotta go holla at my brother, about this situation. Why? You need me to do
something?"
She didn't answer. She looked out of the passenger side window, as we sat at a red light.
Again, I wondered where her mind was at 9 She was beautiful, sexy, when she was mad, but I
didn't like the way we've been clashing lately, and it was starting to bug me. Then she turned
back to me as the light turned green.
"Marv, can I ask you a question?" She didn't wait for my permission to ask. "Do you
see yourself growing old?"
What the fuck kind of question was that? Women! Who can know them? "I don't really
think about the future too much." She looked at me like I was crazy, and I elaborated. "At the
end of the day, I pray for progression. I pray that I'll be abetter person today than I was the day
before. That's as far into the future I try to think about."
"And how's that working out for you?"
"What?"
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"Nothing Marvin; nothing."
She was definitely being more emotional than usual. Perhaps it was derived from
introspection and too much time to think. Normally she's impulsive, and just lives in the
moment, which was one of her best qualities. I don't really know how to deal with this new side
of Tracy.
Tracy dropped me off at the door. According to her, she was tired and she was going to
her mom's place to take a nap; she promised to call me later. I went into the condo, and found
II and Brian on the couch drinking Kool-Aid and eating a big bag of my Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
"What's poppin'", II greeted me, turning down the television that had Skip Bayless and
Stephan A. Smith on "ESPN's First Take".
"I see ya'll eating up all my shit. Ya'll ready to go holla at bro?"
The things Tracy said were still on my mind, and it had me baffled. I couldn't figure her
out. Lately she'd been asking some left hand shit, some off the wall questions. I guess Brian
could see it in my face.
"Yeah, we ready. You cool, man? You look stressed out. Is it that time of the month
already?"
Brian laughed; even II cracked a smile.
"Very funny. I'm just going through it with Tracy. She's been real emotional lately.
Saying she's worried about me, then the fact that she's pregnant and we still haven't decided
what we're gonna do to with that situation. All this shit is flicking with me, bro."
"Don't worry about that shit, bro. My momma always say it'll work itself out in time;
and you know we got you if you need anything", TJ said, seriously, yet, somehow, nonchalantly.
by: Melvin Spencer
When we got to Tone's, he was sitting on the couch in the white room, a drink on the
table and a blunt in his hand. He didn't smoke too often, but when he did it was to calm his
nerves. He had someone there with him; I'd guessed it was his homeboy that was going to help
us pull this off. I knew I'd seen him somewhere before, but I couldn't place him. After we all
took off our shoes, and sat down, I dapped Tone up.
"What up doe?"
"What's up, lil bro? You remember Von, don't you? He use to run with me back in the
day; he just came home."
I knew I'd seen him somewhere before. He looked the same, pretty much, give or take a
few age marks, but he was a lot bigger, more muscular, than I remembered. The weight pile had
been good to him, and time had preserved him.
"What's popping, lil homie? When I left you were knee high to a grasshopper, now look
at you. I see you out here doing your thing; just like your brother", Von said dapping me up.
"Yeah, I'm tryna do it big out here. These my homeboys, TJ and Brian."
When everyone got acquainted and reacquainted, we poured drinks, lit up the blunt, and
started to devise our plan. The house we were set to hit, was four blocks up from Tone's. It's
the third house from the corner, on the right side of the street. The best escape mute's behind the
house, through the alley, where Brian would be waiting. Instead of going four blocks back to
Tone's, and potentially attracting some unwanted attention, we'd take the side streets to
Greenfield and jump of the Ford Freeway, just to be on the safe side.
We'd go back to my crib, and fall back until the morning, which meant I had to make
sleeping arrangements. We got word that they didn't close shop until ten o'clock, so we'd have
by: Melvin Spencer
to hit them at a quarter til. There would be one or sometimes two runners, most likely young and
inexperienced, but they would be strapped, so they'd have to be taken out. Four people would be
in the house; two in the livingroom counting money, and two in the back room bagging up weed
and cutting up dope. Everybody had to be accounted for, and everybody had to go. No
witnesses!
"We all meet here at nine o'clock sharp, Wednesday night. Marv, I know this is personal
for you, it's personal for me too, but let's get all of the merchandise, and then do what you came
to do, and in that order, sight?", Tone said, looking at me.
I wanted the money and the dope also, but something in me needed to see these niggaz
die; plain and simple. I wanted that more than anything, and my brother knew that.
"I got you, brody. Just make sure nobody comes out of there except for us, feel me?"
I was filled with anger and contempt for these cowards, and it was written all over my
face. But I knew a lot of people were counting on me to be diligent, sober, and clear headed, so
that they can eat also, and I couldn't nick that up for them. The plan was elaborate and to the T;
any deviation from the plan could be fatal for one of us, if not all of us, and all of us were keenly
aware of that fact. Shots would be fired, we just hoped that God hadn't punched a hole in any of
our ticket stubs. We all raised our glasses to toast.
"Marvin, you wanna propose the customary toast?", Tone asked.
"Naw. I'ma follow your lead, bro."
"Well then, to good health and prosperity. To making a better way for ourselves, and
taking what's destined to be ours. To greatness!"
"To greatness", we all said, in unison.
by: Melvin Spencer
As everyone took a drink, I thought about Tracy, and how much she needed me. I loved
her and our unborn child, and I wanted to be there for them both. Yet, I also thought Gina, and
how much I loved her. She needs me also, if not more, and I'm determined to be there for her
too; in fact, I planned to be there for all of my loved ones, and I was praying that God would
afford me that opportunity.
Darkness fell upon us, as we chilled and discussed the prospects of this lick a little more.
I could see Tone and his homie talking casually, catching up on old times. I wanted it to be like
that for me and my niggaz. I wanted us to get money together forever, be it from the streets or
the legal way; I wanted it to be and my niggaz. But I knew, all too well, that life doesn't always
have a story book ending; in fact, it rarely does.
Soon, we all decided to hit the local sports bar, "Overtime". It's a nice little hood spot
that you can chill and watch the game, order some wings, and a few brews, and not have any
drama. As we all came out of the house, the liquor and the weed got us in the mood to chill, we
laughing and joking, I noticed a car sitting down on the other end of the street, and it appeared to
be trying to blend in with the darkness that the night sky provided.
It wouldn't have been out of the ordinary if I hadn't seen the strained movement, and the
tips of cigarettes burning, inside of the car. I peered harder to try and make out a face, hopefully
a familiar, which I knew to be wishful thinking, but the darkness disguised them, making the
them just two shadowy figures. If I wasn't mistaken, they were wearing all black, or at least a
dark blue.
"Tone, you see that car parked down the street? The black one? Do it look familiar to
you?", I asked getting everyone's attention.
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Tone squinted, his eyes struggling to make out the car and its passengers. "Yeah. I've
seen it a lot lately. In the past few months, I've noticed it riding up and down the block a couple
times a day. I just figured they was riding around looking for girls, or that one of them lived on
this block; but that right there looks strange; I've never seen them at night, it's mostly been
during the day."
When everyone's attention was directed at the car, its lights flashed on, and it sped
forward. Everyone started reaching for their weapons. Brian wasn't strapped for whatever
reason, and I'd left my thirty-eight in the glove compartment, making me feel naked out there.
Luckily Tone and TI were strapped, just in case these muthafuckaz was thinking about doing a
drive-by.
The car sped up, burning rubber as it took off, and I stood there unflinchingly, even
though I didn't have a weapon. The car rode pass us, and stopped at the top of the block, the
tires burning again, sending smoke everywhere. I could tell that it wasn't a normal play at
stuntin', it was more than kids having fun. This was done purposely; an attempt to send a
message.
They left a cloud of smoke, as they peeled out again, and went straight down the block,
making a left on Warren Road. I knew where they were headed, we all did, and I knew that I had
to kill them before they got to me first.
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Chapter 24
Wednesday came soon enough, and with it came more drama. I got up early to clean up
the condo a little bit, at least make it presentable, and I made myself some breakfast; nothing
much, just a Mexican omelet, with sausages on the side, and some waffles topped with
strawberries, just like the white people in the Eggo commercials. I was sitting down on the
couch eating, and watching music videos when Tracy called me.
I answered the phone cheerfully. "Hey, beautiful. How do you feel this morning?"
"What are you so happy about?", she asked curiously.
"I'm happy for you, I'm happy that you're mine, I'm happy that God has blessed me with
someone as beautiful, smart, and intelligent as you, Tracy."
"What's wrong."
"What ever do you mean?"
"Something has to be wrong", she said, skepticism in her voice.
"Naw. I'm cool; just happy to have you in my life."
"Whatever, boy. Don't gas me up. Are you ready to help me?"
"Yeah. Did Aaron's deliver the furniture?"
"There here right now, but I need to pick up a few more things from Wal-Mart; so come
and get me."
I took another bit of my omelet, and a quick swig from my tall glass of orange juice,
leaving the line full of air for a moment.
"Marvin, are you there',"
"Yeah, I was just waiting to hear you say please. I see now we're gonna have to get you
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an etiquette coach. They don't come cheap, but I think the payoff would be well worth it."
"Marvin, will you please come and get me?"
"How dare you try to seduce me? You know I can't resist yo sexy ass."
"Boy, if you don't get yo ass over here now!", she demanded, laughter mingling with her
words.
"Aight. I love you, Trace."
"I love you too; now get over here."
After finishing my breakfast, and getting dressed, I went to pick up Tracy. I had spent
the last couple of days with Gina, working on college applications and planning for "the future",
but I had no idea what the future held for me and college was starting to become a long distance
run that I didn't feel like training for. This how most of my time with Gina was spent; talking
about college and careers, and it was all good because it made her happy, but it was mostly her
talking about that, most of the time I seem to only be listening to her dreams and goals, not really
knowing what I wanted for myself.
Tracy and I went to Wal-Mart and purchased the essential starter kit for the apartment:
microwave, toaster oven, coffee maker (even though I'd never seen her drink coffee), two
televisions, two Blu-Ray players, a iPod Home, etc. I suggested she get a game system, but she
assured me she didn't need, nor did she want, a gaming system. We were back at the apartment
setting everything up when Gina called.
"What's up, Boo? How you doing?", I answered.
"I'm alright, Marvin. Where you at?"
I lied, of course. "I'm with Tae. Why?"
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"That's funny, because Tae just called me looking for you", she said, pointedly.
Oh shit! Tae was slipping! He knew I was going to be helping Tracy move in her
apartment. My phone was off while Tracy and I were at Wal-Mart, because my battery was
dying, but why would he call Gina? What was so urgent that he had to be so careless? I quickly
made something up, hoping to satisfy Gina's curiosity.
"He's so impatient. I told him I was coming. I'm in front of his house right now. Auntie
Carol won't let him get the car, because she has something to do, so I'm taking him to the mall to
get some shoes. He wants to get there before they sell out. I should pull off and leave his eager
ass."
The lie was getting deeper. Damn you Tae!
"So what are you doing today, besides taking Lamont to the mall?", she asked, and
breathed a sigh of relief.
"I gotta check on a few things, and I gotta handle some business with my brother tonight.
Why? What you tryna do?"
"I'll probably go check on Tracy; you know she's moving in her new apartment today.
We'll probably go shopping for a few things. I gotta get her a housewarming gift."
"Well, you do that, and come by the condo tonight around eleven-thirty; I should be back
by then."
"Alright, baby. I love you."
"I love you too, Gina", I said, ending the call.
I sat my phone down on the night stand that had a smoky look to it, by her newly
assembled queen size bed, letting the phone stay on the charger. I went back to helping Tracy
put some of her clothes in the new dresser drawers. She was eyeing me as she folded a pair of
her thong panties.
"What, Tracy?", I looked at her, aggravation in my features.
"First off: You're a horrible liar. Secondly: You don't have to go with your brother
tonight."
"What are you talking about, Tracy?"
Her voice went up a few octaves. "Marvin, I know what ya'll going to do tonight, and I
know you feel like this is something you have to do, but what if something happens to you, then
what?"
"Nothing's gonna happen to me, Trace", I said while putting one of her night gowns in
the drawer.
"You're a selfish sonofabitch, Marvin; all you do is think about yourself', she pointed
out, tossing the thong panties in the drawer without care.
I exploded in anger.
"Tracy, do have any idea how it feels to be left for dead, to close your eyes every night
and see the flash of a gun? Huh? I'm tired of wondering if these niggaz goin' come back to
finish the job. I hate to think that one day they might come for you or Gina, or someone in my
family. I'm never gonna feel safe, I won't be satisfied until I feel like that threat has been
eliminated. I sleep with a gun at my bedside, I ride around with a gun in my console. Tracy, I'm
tired of living in fear, feeling inadequate as a man, like I can't take care of and protect the people
I love. I'm not worried about dying, 'cause everyday that I live I fear, I die a little more inside
anyway. I'm not gonna live in fear anymore, Tracy."
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She looked at me, as I went back to folding her clothes. What she was searching for, I
did not know. Silence gripped us, and we both continued to work at setting things up in that
thick silence. I realized that she had a valid reason to be afraid, but she knew that I was being
real with her, and that! would never be the same again if! didn't do what! had to do tonight.
"This bed is so soft", Tracy said, taking a break, and laying back on the Tempure-pedic
mattress. "Come lay next to me; it's so comfortable."
I looked at her beautiful face as she laid back with her eyes closed, her features so
relaxed. I wanted to give her the world, but I didn't know how. I wanted to love her completely,
but I was such an incomplete person. I wanted to be everything she needed, but I have no idea
what that is. All I could do was be there when she needed me. I laid next to her.
"Trace, do you doubt my feelings for you?", I asked, cuddling close to her.
"Marvin, I know you love me, and I know how much you love me. It's just, sometimes I
say things to help you see how! feel about you; they may seem to be a little further from the
truth, or I may be overbearing at times, but! worry about you. I love you, I never want to lose
you."
She kissed me softly, yet passionately, and then we laid there, her with her head on my
chest, and me with my head to the sky. We had reached an understanding and I was happy that
we had gotten things out in the open, and I was glad to have her stand by my decisions, even
when they were contrary to her way of thinking. We both feel asleep.
My sleep was peaceful, but the dream I had was bizarre, to say the least. I was at my
place, sitting on the couch, watching television. The tv was blurry so I couldn't tell what I was
watching. Suddenly, I hear a little girl's voice talking to me over the weird sounds that came
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from the tube.
"Daddy, daddy, look at me!"
I looked and saw the most beautiful little girl I'd ever seen in my life. She had the
radiance of an angel, and her voice came out like notes from Coltrane's horn. She was on the
floor in front of the television that was now showing static, building a castle out of a set of very
intricate building blocks.
"That is so beautiful, baby. What are you goin' to do with it?", I asked admiring her
features.
Dark and fuzzy hair adorned her head like an Egyptian headdress; her skin was the color
of toffee, and as smooth and soft as a bad of silk, and while her nose was tiny like Tracy's, her
face reminded me so much of myself. I love her so much; I don't know where the love came
from, but I know I loved her.
"Daddy, you're going to be the king, and I'm going to be the princess, just like so always
call me."
I started to get up so that I could hug my little princess, but when I moved a black hole
opened up in the ceiling, and began to pull my daughter into it like a vacuum. She reached out
for me, but I couldn't get a hold on her tiny hands; she kept slipping away. She cried for me.
"Daddy, don't let them get me, daddy! Don't let them kill me! I thought I was your
princess! Don't let them take me!"
I jerked myself from my sleep, yelling and thrashing against the sheets. It took me a
moment to realize that it was a dream, and another to get me bearings and remember where I was
at. Embarrassed at how scared I was of that dream, I got up to find Tracy, only to fmd that Tracy
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was gone. I checked my phone for the time. It was three o'clock in the afternoon. I also noticed
that I had two text messages. The first one was from Tracy.
"I went out with Gina. Didn't want 2 wake U. I luv U 0"
I smiled at Tracy words while I checked the second text that came from TJ's phone, yet it
wasn't from TJ; it was signed by Cherish.
"I really want 2 C U-Cherish."
I hadn't see or talked to Cherish since we kissed at her birthday party. I didn't want to
complicate things between us. She was like a little sister, and fast becoming a good friend, and I
didn't want to mess that up. Plus I had so much going on, and I didn't want to burden her with
all that was going on in my life. She would just be another person that I'd be hurting. But it
would be a good thing for the both of us if I laid my true feelings for her on the table.
I called TJ.
"What's popping?", TJ answered.
"Ain't shit, my dude. I just woke up. What up doe?"
"Shit, sitting here at Cherry Hill Park, watching this softball game."
"Who wit you?"
"Tiffany, Lil Mike, Tasha, Cherish, and Ashley's playing", he said, sounding like he was
blowing out some smoke.
"I'll be there in a few; I ain't got shit else to do."
"Aight; we'll be here."
"Ghost!"
I collected my shit after I ended the call with TJ. I was in need of some fresh air, and the
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park was the perfect place. Besides, I'd better leave the apartment anyway, before Tracy and
Gina got back from shopping. It'd be just my luck that Gina would walk in and find me asleep
in Tracy's bed.
The temperature was high and still rising when I climbed into my hot car. I rolled the
windows down as I drove towards the park, letting the warm breeze wake me up. When I pulled
into the park, I noticed how crowded it was. The sign at the park that flashed current and
upcoming events also showed that the temperature was in the low nineties. Feeling a little dizzy,
I went to the concession stand and purchased a bottle of water before making my way to the
bleachers and sitting with TJ.
"What up doe?", TJ greeted me as I sat down.
"Shit, been helping Tracy move into her apartment all day. Who winning?"
Tasha interjected from one row up. "Ashley's team is up by two runs."
I looked back and gave her a smile. "What's up? Where yo sister at?"
"Cherish and Tiffany are over at the pool. I walk you over there, come on", she said
confidently, grabbing my hand.
I told TJ I'd be back, and Tasha and I walked towards the pool area that was packed to
capacity with people trying to stay cool in the summer heat. Tasha talked as we walked, but my
mind was on Cherish, so I didn't really hear what she was saying. I scanned the pool area as we
got closer, until I saw Cherish. She was so beautiful, diving into the clear blue water, and at that
moment I saw her in a different light. I don't know why. Oprah would've called it an ah-ha
moment. I Cherish in a way I've never seen her before. I loved her! Damn it, I loved her.
".....with me, so you know how I feel, right? Marvin?", Tasha was saying when I came
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back to my senses.
I only caught the tail end of what she was saying. I didn't want her to think that she was
unimportant, or that I didn't care about what she had to say, or that I was just plain ignoring her,
so I agreed with her.
"Yeah, I feel you, Tasha."
Cherish had spotted us. She was walking through the gate that lead to and from the pool
area, and started walking towards us with her signature smile on her face. "Do you mind getting
wet?"
She hadn't dried off, but I was so eager to hold her in my arms, nothing else mattered, not
even me getting wet. I held open my arms. "No, I don't mind."
I held her close to me, and she buried her face in my neck, as she hugged me back. It felt
like our own little forever as we held each other, and I never wanted to let her go; I wanted to
hold on to her for the rest of my life.
"You're fast", she said with a sly smile.
"I wasn't too busy."
"Yeah, right."
"Can we go somewhere and talk?", I asked, looking into her eyes.
"Yeah; sure. Can we stop by the concession stand first? I'm thirsty."
"You just got out of a pool of water."
"You know you're not funny, right?", she said, smiling.
"So, I've been told. Let's go."
I thanked Tasha for walking me over, and I took Cherish's hand while we made our way
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to the concession stand area. After she purchased a bottle of water, we made our way to the
newly paved track that was filled with bikers (not Harley riders, but Huffy riders), roller-bladers,
runners, and walkers.
"I missed you, Marvin", Cherish said, breaking the nervous silence between us as we
walked the track. "I thought you were mad at me.....because of what happened at my party. I'm
sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"I felt a lot of things in that moment, but not uncomfortable. If anything, I was too
comfortable", I admitted, and she blushed. "You don't have to apologize, Boo Boo. I think it
takes a lot of courage to act on your feelings, if only we can remember that words are sometimes
sufficient Yet, I understand what happened between us, and I'm won't knock you for something
that I took participation in on the grounds that you initiated it."
"So, you not mad at me?"
"No! I was shocked at your boldness, but not mad at all. You make me happy."
"I guess I got caught up in the moment."
"Cherish, love is not momentary. It helps you appreciate the moment, but love, itself,
surpasses time. I know you may not fully understand it now, but the way we feel about each
other is neither a fleeting moment nor a momentary feeling. I love you, and I know you feel the
same about me", I proclaimed.
Cherish blushed again, appearing to be unable to respond to such a bold proclamation,
making me wonder if I'd jumped the gun by assuming that she felt a certain way about me. I had
to allow her to say how she felt about me, that way I'm not frying to characterize her feelings by
making them into something they may not be. She may like me a lot, and may not have a clue if
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she loves me or not. She had to express her feelings, and I have to afford her that right instead of
characterizing her feelings for her.
"How do you feel, Boo Boo?", I asked.
"I can't explain it. I know you have a lot to deal with already, but I can't help how I feel
when I'm around you, even when I'm not around you. When we talk, when I look in your eyes,
when we hug, when we kiss; it's like nothing else matters, like the world is ours to do as we
please, and it pleases me to be with you. You know what I'm saying?"
"I !mow that I love you, Cherish, but I also know that it's not fair. I know it's irrational
to feel this way about you, especially with the situation I'm in right now. Yet, it's not something
I can run from, it's not something that I can turn off, and it's not something that I can contain.
My love for you continues to grow, but while it feels good to hold you and kiss you, it feels like
I'm being selfish at the same time, and something about that is wrong.
"I feel like I'd be hindering you if we crossed that line. Like I would be holding you
back from a situation, or relationship, where you could be loved wholly, entirely, and
exclusively. To be honest and direct, I love you too much to try to bring you into this messy
situation that I'm already involved in, and believe me it's a mess."
We walked in silence for a short while; both of us deep in thought. I couldn't leave what
I'd built with Gina and Tracy, and to be with Cherish I'd have to cut them off. I know there isn't
enough time to love them all equally, and to give them what they needed front me. I couldn't
drag Cherish into this web of lies, deception, and shared relationships that I'm in now, it
wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't be right. I snuck a peek at her as we walked hand-in-hand
around the paved track.
by: Melvin Spencer
"If only the circumstances were different", I said absently, as I pulled her close to me, out
of the way of a rogue roller-blader.
"I think there is a way we can make this work without anyone getting hurt", she said after
a moment, stopping to look me in my eyes. "Marv, this is a perfect opportunity for us to build a
friendship. One built on the foundation of love and trust. If we are meant to be together it'll
happen, but let's take our time and get to know each other. I bet you don't even know my
favorite color, do you?"
"Actually, I do; it's purple", I answered. "But I understand where you're coming from.
Really, I'm surprised you came up with that solution, it's a very mature and logical one, to say
the least."
"I saw it in a movie, with two people that were in our predicament."
"Alt, a movie, the greatest place to learn life's lesson from."
"So, how's Tracy doing?", Cherish asked casually. "Is she getting bigger?"
"You know about that, huh?" Cherish nodded. "She's been a little moody lately. She
worries about me a lot, and she thinks I don't want her to have the baby."
"Well, do you want her to have the baby?"
"To be honest with you, Boo Boo, I didn't, at first; the reasons being logical, yet selfish
at the same time."
"Look Marvin, I don't know that much about love, other than my feelings for you, but I
know that with love everything isn't always logic and rationale; in fact, it almost never is."
"Heard that in a movie too?", I asked with a smile.
"No..... I read it in a book."
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"Reading is fundamental", I said sarcastically; but she was right. "But I had a dream
today, a revelatory dream. I won't get into the logistics of it all, because it was kind of weird.
But now! know we're supposed to have this baby; and I think it's gonna be a girl."
Cherish noticed the smile on my face and the look in my eyes when I talked about the
prospect of having a little girl. I was falling in love with the idea of being a father and I was
prepared for whatever consequences I would have to deal with, in the name of being a good
father.
Cherish must've been reading my mind. "You're gonna be a great father, Man", she
commented with a reassuring smile.
I kissed her softly on the lips.
"What was that about?", she asked.
"I figured I'd better get another kiss before we start this friendship thing."
"Well, I think I should get one also; it's only right", I said, and she kissed me softly.
"Boo Boo, you are gonna make somebody very happy, and if their as happy as I am right
now, they'll be the luckiest person on earth."
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Chapter 25
The glass clock on the wall of my brother's house read nine-fifteen. Music played, blunts
were lit, drinks were poured, and clips were being loaded. Everybody was relatively quiet,
except for Tone who sung along to DMX's "The Heat is On". It felt like we were in a locker
room before the last, and most important game of the season. Everybody know how important
this night was.
No motivational speech would be made; everyone would do whatever it took to get us to
the championship. This was the game we played, and someone had to lose; I just prayed that it
wasn't one of us.
My mind drifted to Tracy and my unborn child. I hadn't told her that I'd decided that it
would best if we kept the baby, because I wanted to be one hundred percent sure. I know if I
called her she would try to talk me out of this mission tonight, which I realized would be out of
the love that she had for me, but I had to do this. I'll call her as soon as I get back home; Lord
willing.
"Ya'll ready to do this", Tone asked, talking over the music, cocking his AK-47.
Tone and Von carried AK's, TJ had a sawed off shotgun, I had twin Glock nines, and
Brian had his favorite forty-five. Nobody answered Tone's question, neither were we meant to,
we all just stood up and went to the door, ready and prepared for the war that we were about to
take part in.
I looked up and down the street, instinctively, as we walked outside, to make sure nothing
looked outside of the norm. We all piled into the car, a hoo-ride provided by Von, and made our
way up the street. We rode up the four blocks in silence, save for a few guns cocking and a few
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clips clicking. When Brian pulled into the alley behind the house, my heart started to race. I
don't know if it was from fear or anticipation; either way I was ready to get this over with.
"Mary and Von, take the left side of the house. Me and TJ will take the right. Make sure
your aim is on point, and your safety is off the gun", Tone said before putting the red bandana
over his face.
While Brian parked the car, the rest of us went through the back gate, taking our positions
on both sides of the house. I twisted a ten inch silencer on the tip of one of the nine millimeter
pistols. I always thought the element of surprise was the best way to take out an enemy
effectively and efficiently; it's better when they never see it coming.
In all black, we blended in with the darkness that had settled over the city. I stepped from
the shadows, and saw two workers on the front porch politicking about football. They were
talking about the upcoming NFL season, a season that they would never get to see. I shot the
one worker that was closest to me, twice in the head. Hearing the suppressed gunshots, his
homie watched him slump in his chair.
"What the fu
He never got the chance to finish his sentence; two shots silenced him forever. The porch
was now clear, and we each lined up on each side of the door; Tone and Von leading with the
AK's, and TJ and me following behind them. Tone twisted the knob, and he and Von went in
first with their AK's up, and ready to fire.
"Lay down you bitch as niggaz. If one of ya'll cough or breath wrong, ya'll getting'
permanent stares. Trust me, I'm allergic to bullshit and my trigger finger's itchin'. J and V, go
and check the back rooms. Bro, bag all this money up", Tone said giving out orders.
He pointed his AK at three dusty ass niggaz sitting on the couch with piles of money and
a money machine in front of them. I threw all the money in the duffle bag. When I picked up
the last pile of money off of the table, I spotted a trash bag on the side of the couch. I didn't
know what was in it, but I sure as hell was about to find out.
As I approached the couch, I heard gunshots coming from the back room. I shot the cat
closest to the trash bag. A head shot that sent his body flying into his homie's lap. Tone kept the
AK trained on the other two, daring them to move. I looked in the trash bag jackpot!!! I
dumped the money the lined the trash bag into the duffle bag, and shot the other two cats that
were left on the couch, saving Tone the hassle.
The two of us ran to the back, and found TJ and Von filling their duffle bags full of
bricks, and pounds of weed. I spotted six jars of ecstasy pills and two zip locks full of cook-up.
Two people were on the floor, one dead and one laying in a puddle of blood and piss, but very
much alive. I walked over to him.
"What else you got? And before you lie, note that the rest of yo homeboys are dead. I'm
giving you the opportunity to save your own life."
"Man the safe is in the closest. The combo is..."
I cut him off. "No. you get up and open it, and if you stall or try to tun, you're a dead
man; you hear me?"
"Brah, it ain't gotta be all that; I'ma open the safe", he said, climbing to his feet. "Don't
shoot me, man."
He walked over to the safe and put in the combination. It took him three tries, and me
slapping him in the back of the head a few times, but he finally got it open. When he opened the
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safe, my eyes lit up.
"Go and lay back down", TJ instructed the bloody nigga as Tone and Von cleared out the
safe.
The bags were filling up fast, and are pockets were looking fatter already. We had
accomplished part of what we'd come for, and now it was time to bring everything full circle.
When the safe was fully cleaned out, including a few hand guns, we turned our attention to the
lone survivor.
"V, go and stand that coward up; get him on his feet", Tone said; Von handed me his
gun, and went to pick the last piece of the puzzle up off of the floor.
"Bro, hand me the gun with the silencer", Tone commanded, his eyes still trained on the
guy.
I passed Tone the nine. Tone raised the gun as Von kneeled down to pick the guy up.
Firing a single shot, Tone hit Von in the side of his head. The guy, still pissy and bloody, fell to
the floor, trembling and sobbing, as Von fell on top of him. I looked at TJ; he looked at me and
hunched his shoulders. I didn't ask any questions, I just trusted that my brother knew what he
was doing. Tone walked up to Von's body and shot him two more times, without flinching.
"Now run tell that, with yo ratting ass", Tone spat before literally spitting on Von's, now
limp, body.
Tone looked at the guy on the floor who was now covered in Von's brain matter, and was
now sobbing. A grown ass man, crying in the face of death. I silently told myself that would
never be me, that death would not make me a bitch. Without a word, Tone shot two more times,
both bullets pierced the coward's skull, and he grew quiet instantly.
by: Melvin Spencer
"J, you got the lighter fluid?", Tone asked, looking at TJ.
TJ rummaged through his duffle bag and pulled out the can of light fluid, spraying the
contents of the can all over the room as if he were preparing to light a grill in the park. We all
casually left the room, headed towards the exit; Tone lit a match and threw it in the room setting
it ablaze, leaving the house and everybody in it to burn.
"Where's Von?", Brian asked as we got in the car.
"He's dead", Tone said, in a definitive tone of voice. "Let's go!"
I lit a cigarette as we rode to the tire burning yard, wondering what Von had done to
make my brother want to kill him? Maybe he was giving them Schoolcraft niggaz information
on how Tone was moving out here. Maybe he was the one who had them run up in the spot.
Now; it couldn't be that. I'm pretty sure I know who that was, and he would get his soon
enough. I don't know what Von did, but whatever he did, it was low and grimy if Tone was mad
enough to kill him Time would tell.
When we got back to the condo, Tone, Brian, and TJ sat in the livingroom while I went to
Gina's room to check my phone. Id left it on the charger while we went to make that move, not
wanting any distractions and not wanting to lose it, and possibly leave it behind as evidence. I
noticed I had one text message, and three missed calls. I checked the text first; it was from Gina.
"Baby, I can't make it 2nite. Sorry! Luv U!"
Gina was supposed to come over, but I wasn't trippin' because my adrenaline was still
pumping, and I needed to relax. The three missed calls were from Tracy, who knew what I was
doing, knew that I had to take care of that situation. So, why would she call me three times? It
must be important. I called her back.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Hello", she answered her phone, her tone somber.
"What's up, Trace? You alright?"
"Marvin, can you come over? We need to talk?"
"We can't talk about it on the phone?", I asked, trying to get some information out of her
about what was wrong with her.
"I'd rather you be here with me", she insisted.
"Yeah, sure; I'll come over. Be there in a minute; besides, I got something I warn tell
you too."
She hung up the phone, abruptly, leaving me to wonder why she was so upset? Was it
me? Perhaps it was one of her mood swings. With the way she's been acting lately, it could be
anything. I hoped the news that I had for her would offset her emotional state, and cheer her up a
little bit.
"Bro, where you going? We gotta split this shit up", Tone asked, when I came back into
the livingroom fully dressed with my car keys in my hand.
"I gotta go check on this girl; since she's found out she was pregnant, she's being going
through it. Just split that shit up, and chill here if you need to; I'll be back when get done
checking on her."
"How many licks does it take to get to the center?", Brian joked.
"Ah, damn. My little brother's a sucker", Tone joked along with Brian as I closed the
door behind me.
I made my way to Tracy's apartment. I wondered what was bugging her so much? I
listened to Drake sing about some girl or another, as I ran a stop sign without realizing it. I
by: Melvin Spencer
thought Tracy would be happy that I was okay, or in her words, that I was safe, that I hadn't been
hurt.
"I hope she's not going crazy", I said to myself, as I walked up to Tracy's apartment,
before I realized that I was talking to myself, and that I may, in fact, be going crazy right along
with her.
When Tracy opened the door, I could tell that something was wrong. The look in her
eyes, coupled with the feeling in the air, let me know that it wouldn't be a pleasant visit. I kissed
her forehead as I entered the, now fully finished, apartment.
"Does it feel like home?", I asked, trying to make small talk; hoping it would alleviate
some of the tension in the air.
"Yeah, I guess", she said, sitting down on the sofa.
I sat down next to her.
"Remember when you told me we wouldn't discuss the baby until I'd made a conscious
and conclusive decision on what I want us to do?", I asked hoping to trump her sadness with my
decision. "Well, I decided that we should keep the baby. I believe in my heart that this was all a
part of God's plan for us. We're gonna have a beautiful baby girl, and we'll be the best parents
in the world."
"Marvin.....", she started, but I cut her off.
"I know I wasn't so keen on the idea of us having baby, and for my own selfish reasons.
I didn't think I was ready, I don't know how everyone else would take it, I didn't war= lose
Gina, I didn't want our child growing up in a racist and judgmental society, that would try to put
our child in a box, and may other excuses and rationalities. But at the end of the day, our baby
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deserves to live, deserves a shot at life, and I'm gonna try my best to provide her with every
opportunity available to her."
"You said her?", Tracy asked, tears forming in her eyes; I mistook them for tears ofjoy.
"Yeah, we're gonna have a girl; I know it", I said rubbing her stomach. "So we can start
getting ready for her arrival. We'll go shopping this weekend for strollers, car seats, playpens,
"Stop, Marvin! Just stop!", she interrupted me, anger in her voice, then she started to cry,
and I pulled her close to me.
"What's wrong, Trace? I thought you would be happy that I want to keep the baby."
She pulled away from me, looking me in my eyes as best as she could. "Marvin, there is
no baby."
"Wait; what?" She didn't speak again, just dabbed at her tears. "What are you saying?
What happened, Tracy?"
"There is no baby", she said again, tears streaming from her eyes now.
I wanted to console her, but my own anger and curiosity had gotten the best of me.
"What happened?"
She cried harder, her hands covering her face. Taking her hands away from her face, I
asked her again, my voice more stern, with a hint of anger. "What happened to our baby,
Tracy?"
"I went home to my mom's place to gather a few things, and we got into a heated
argument about me moving out. She told me I was making a big mistake and that I would never
make it on my own. She said I was nothing but a home wrecking whore, and I was crazy if I
thought you would take care of me. I got tired of her putting my down, she'd done it for years,
and I was tired, so I decided to that I wouldn't listen to it any longer, and got ready to leave.
"As I made my way to the door, she grabbed my arm and threw me on the couch. I
landed on the arm rest and I felt the pressure of the fall on my stomach. The pain was so bad
I knew instantly that something was wrong."
Tracy cried harder, and I pulled her closer to me. I wanted so bad to console her, but I
was speechless.
"Marvin, I sat on the toilet... .pushing out....", she couldn't finish, and I didn't need her
to.
We both cried together. Our baby was gone!!!
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Chapter 26
It was early Friday morning when [checked my phone, that sat on the charger, on
Tracy's bedside nightstand. I had the phone offal! day the day before. After taking Tracy to the
doctor Thursday, a childhood doctor that she let on she'd been going to since she was nine, to
confirm the miscarriage, I spent the day with her. The day, for her, was spent mostly in tears and
sleep, rarely eating, and when she did eat it was only small portions; my day mostly spent
tending to her needs, and avoiding the outside world.
I watched her as she slept, and I prayed that today would be better than the day before; I
know, wishful thinking. I prayed that it would be a better day for the both of us. I'd thought
about the possibilities of having a child with her, and it pained me that she'd lost the baby,
because I was just warming up to the idea of having a child. But I couldn't dwell on it for too
long, because at the moment Tracy needed me more than ever.
I had missed calls from Tone, Ant, Brian, Tae, my mom, and Gina. I knew they all were
probably worried to death about me, but I needed to be there for Tracy and I couldn't allow
anything to pull me away from her, but I couldn't ignore them forever, I had to at least check in.
I texted Gina:
"Good morning, beautiful. I'm sorry about yesterday; will make it up 2 U. I love U."
I thought about my relationship with Gina and how we were spending less and less time
together, yet the time we did spend together was time spent talking about forever. I had no idea
what forever, for us, meant anymore. Would it include Tracy? Would it include us? I could no
longer pretend to be delusional, we were falling apart, and I had no idea how to fix it. After I
texted Gina, I called Tone; I know he's worried sick.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Where the fuck have you been?", Tone answered, his voice dispelling worry and anger
simultaneously. "You got everybody calling around looking for you. I thought something
happened to you. Momma's ready to file a missing person's report. You alright?", he asked, his
voice sounding more concerned now than angry.
"I'm good. I just had some things to take care of."
"What can be more important than this money?"
Tears welled up in my eyes as the thought of the baby came back with my brother's
inquiries. "Tracy lost the baby. She had a miscarriage."
"Man.... I'm sorry to hear that, bro. Are you alright?"
"I'm straight, but Tracy didn't take it too well, so I decided to stay with her. I gotta go
and get her something to eat though, so I'ma stop through and pick up that shit. You at the
spot?"
"Yeah, I brought your share here and put it in the safe. I didn't wanna just leave it lying
around your crib. So, come through and get it when you ready."
"I'll be there in twenty."
"Aight, bro. I love you."
"I love you too", I responded before ending the call.
Tracy was still asleep, or just laying there when I left, it was getting hard to tell which
was which. When I got to Tone's house, I was surprised by the haul that we had. Everything
had been divided.
"We stayed at yo crib that night and divided it all equally. In all there were six jars of Epills, twelve pounds of weed, sixteen bricks, twenty-four ounces of cook-up, and one point two
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million in cash", Tone said excitedly, then quickly checked his enthusiasm when he saw how
somber my face was.
I couldn't believe it. This lick was worth more than four times as much as the first one.
It was hard to be excited about it all, given my current circumstances, but it was hard to ignore
the fact that we'd really just came up. This would definitely get me right, as far as money goes,
with the connect. I didn't feel like talking about Tracy and the baby, so I initiated the
conversation.
"What happened with that Von situation?", I asked as I sat on the couch rummaging
through the Gucci duffle bag.
"He was a snitch", Tone said plainly, picking from a bowl of grapes he had sitting at the
kitchen table. "He told on our best friend to get less time. Me, him and Bo was as thick as
thieves growing up. One night Von and Bo decides to pull a lick. Something went 'wrong, it's
not entirely clear what that something was, and Bo shot and killed the dude they were robbing.
When the police questioned Von about it, he gave Bo up. Bo got charged with armed robbery
and first degree murder, and Von just got charged with the armed robbery. I guess he thought
ten years was long enough for me to forget about it. He thought wrong."
I could tell by the look in his eyes that Tone was hurt by the whole situation. It hard to
kill someone you have so much love for, but certain protocol had to be followed in the streets,
even if it hurts. The crazy thing is, the game gives so little, but it took so much, claimed so many
lives in the name of the streets. I remember Tone telling me something to that effect when I first
started hustling, and I'm quickly finding that to be true.
"So how are you holding up?", Tone asked.
by: Melvin Spencer
"I'ma be alright. I was just getting used to the idea of having a son or a daughter. I'm
angry, to be honest, but I don't know who to be mad at. Tracy's mom didn't know she was
pregnant, so it's not like she did it purposely, at least the way Tracy described the altercation to
me, leads me to believe that her mother didn't try to hurt he intentionally. I think I'm angry at
God. I went to church with mom, this pass Sunday, looking for a blessing and this is what
happens.
"I dreamed of having a beautiful little girl, one that looked just like me, who called me
daddy, and she was taken away from me, taken away from us. It hurt more sitting there
watching Tra y cry, and put her emotions and feelings on display, while buried mine trying to be
strong for the both of us."
"Loo , bro. Pm here for you if you need me, but I promise you, God has a reason for
everything", one assured me.
"I stir hope so", I managed, not totally convinced.
“I kr,
it's hard to see pass your pain, but trust me, I know from experience."
I kick d it with Tone for a little while longer before putting the rest of the work and
money in the uffle bag, and making my way to Inkster to check on Ant and Brandon. I called
Tracy to see
she was up, but her phone was still turned off, she didn't feel like being bothered.
I realized ov the last few days that I have been taken a lot of things for granted. Nothing in life
is guaranteed not even life. The only thing that is certain is death.
I thou t to myself, if I left behind any kind of legacy I would want it to be one of
unconditio
love for those around me; that I loved without conditions or limitations, yet I was
almost sure
I hadn't done that, ever. And as I pulled up to Ant's house I wondered if I was
lit
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capable of gifing myself to someone completely, without conditions or limitations.
Both .f.nt and Brandon were sitting on the porch when I pulled into the driveway.
"What's popiiin', Marvin?"
"Ain't shit. Ya'll ready??", I asked as I stepped onto the porch.
"We had it Wednesday", Ant said, as they both pulled out the eight hundred and fifty
dollars they *ed. "But yo phone was off when we tried to call."
"Loo I gotta brick for ya'll." They both smiled at the prospect of more money and
work. "Now Vali can split it, and bring me twelve-five apiece, or work together. Either way, I
need twenty-eve racks. Do ya'll think ya'll can manage that in three weeks?"
I led them to the trunk of the Porsche while Brandon answered, excitedly, for the both of
them. "Word; we got you, Marv."
"If everything goes well I can get it to yall like this all day", I said as I opened the duffle
bag and handbd them the brick, tucked away in a Kroger's grocery bag.
They assured me that they'd be ready in three weeks or less, and after dapping them up, I
jumped in the car and made my way to McDonalds. I tried Tracy's cell again..... No answer.
She would just have to be satisfied with whatever I brought her back. I got us Crispy Chicken
value meals, and a twenty piece MeNugget to split between us. As I drove out of the drive-thru I
hoped Tracy Was feeling better, if only slightly. I hated to see her so down; especially when I
knew that she is such a strong person.
"Baby, I got you some food", I announced as I entered Tracy's apartment; she was
soaking in the bathtub when I found her. "Are you hungry?"
She looked at me with puff), eyes and a faint smile, only put on her face for my benefit,
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not that she was in the smiling mood. "Yeah."
I washed her back, and shampooed her hair, as she leaned her head forward in silence. I
wrapped her Op in a towel after drying her body; she was still beautiful, even in her grief. She
didn't get fully dressed, leading me to believe that she had planned to imprison herself in the
apartment foil the duration of the day, once again. It was killing me to see her like that.
I watdhed her out of the corner of my eye as she nibbled at some of the nuggets,
seemingly urstware of what she was ingesting. Although she ate the whole meal, her eyes, her
mind, and I absumed her heart, was somewhere in a distant place; a place carved out of grief,
built out of stones of distress. Wherever she was, she wasn't there with me; she was gone.
"Babj, I'm go to the condo and get cleaned up. Do you warma come with me, or are you
gonna stay here?", I asked, hoping that the thought of being alone would motivate her to come
out with me.
"I'll Sy here; go and handle you business", she resolved. "Are you coming back
tonight?"
"Yeah, baby, I'll be back tonight", I said, kissing her forehead.
"I'm sorry, Marv", she said, grabbing my hands.
"Baby, it's not your fault", I assured her.
"I knew, but I'm still sorry."
Undepstood what she meant. She wasn't necessary apologizing for what happened; she
was saying that she was sorry that it happened, sorry that she couldn't do anything to prevent it
from happening; sorry that she couldn't protect our unborn child.
"Yeah, me too, Trace; me too."
by: Melvin Spencer
As I drove to the condo, I thought about what I could do to help get Tracy out of her
funk. I thinkiat the end of the day, time will be the best healer for her; or was I being overlyoptimistic? I had to find a way to help though, nonetheless. I wondered what I could do to help
make it a smooth transition for her. My phone began to vibrate, as I crept along the streets,
aware that I had a duffle bag full of money and drugs in the trunk of my car.
"What's poppin'?", I answered.
"Is that how you answer your phone, Marvin?", my mother asked, practically screaming
into the phone. "Where have you been these last few days? What's the point of having a cell
phone...." I took the phone away from my ear as my mother went on one of her classic tirades.
"Mom relax", I insisted when she'd stopped ranting. "I'm okay. I just needed a day of
solitude; some time to recharge my batteries, so to speak, to think and clear my head."
I wanted badly to pour my heart out to my mother, to tell her about my lose, to vent out
the ills of this life, but experience had proven that wasn't exactly the best idea. All that would
come from that exchange was a bunch of you 'you should've listened to me's', and 'I told you
not to mess with that girl', and I wasn't in the mood for it.
"Look, mom, I'm about to get in the shower. I'm going to stop by later to see you, so
that you can see for yourself that I am in one piece. Okay?"
"Alrisht, boy, but don't you scare me like that again."
"I love you."
"I low you too, boy."
I went into the condo to get changed. I normally take showers, but today I soaked in the
tub to help reilax myself, and I made some phone calls. I had to return all the calls that I'd
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missed the day before and I had to check up on a few other things. Tae and Brian were gonna
meet me at Ti's in a half an hour, we'd decided, I talked to Ant, Tone, and my mom, now all I
had to do was call Gina.
"Hey,!Manr, Gina answered on the third ring, her voice sounding nonchalant, almost as
if she didn't want to talk to me.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Marvin, we need to talk."
Oh shit , MT Here we go lf! ft If it's not one girl, it's the other. I could hear it in her voice
that she was feeling some type-a-way. Somehow I knew that this conversation wasn't going to
end well for me; there was something distant in her voice.
"Marvin, what's happening to us?"
"What're you talking about, Gina?"
"Things have changed between us, and you know it just as well as I do. Don't act like
you haven't noticed it, 'cause I know you feel the same thing I feel. I don't know why, I don't
know what it is, I don't know when or how it happened. I just feel it in my heart, and I want to
address it before it gets to the point of no return."
There was a moment of dead air between us, of a deadly silence that wasn't threatening
to kill what we had, but then she continued. "I know you've been very busy lately, but there's
something else there that I can't quite put my finger on. I feel like I'm not getting all of you; like
I'm not getting one hundred percent. To be frank, it feels like I'm sharing you. There are a lot
of rumors circulating, and I won't put them out there because to me they're irrelevant, but I need
to know something."
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Shit! She was on point. I'd felt the slow yet progressive dissension, the progressive
decline in out relationship, and I know exactly where it started. I knew that it would be hard to
balance both relationships; in fact, I could feel the strain in every aspect of my life. Everything
was coming to a head, and I could no longer keep this up.
"Gina, I know how you feel. Honestly, I've felt that way for awhile now. I thought it
was the shooting and everything, and in my heart I prayed that it was that. It's been hard and
stressful dealing with all these different situations, and it's emotionally draining. I don't want to
put any added pressure or stress on you, and I really believe that this is something that I need to
work out for myself."
Started to speak, but I asked her politely to allow me the opportunity to finish. "I been
think of different reasons, and another logic that I came up with is that love brings change.
Maybe this was a time of stagnation, or even regression to make room for growth. Maybe our
relationship has peaked; I don't know. But what do you do when you're with someone who you
know loves you, but you still feel lonely; not entirely alone, but like there is a part of you that's
lonely and yeams for something more.
"The old cliché comes to mind: 'It's not you it's me'. I can't bring myself to tell you I'm
going through some things. I'm supposed to be strong for you, and this feeling and weakness
makes me feel inadequate. At the end of the day I just try to save face, and try my best to be
strong for you. But when I'm alone I can feel my vulnerability. It's crazy because in those
moments of weakness and vulnerability, I feel completely in tuned with myself."
"So what does this all boil down to?", she asked.
"I think the best remedy for this is time, patience, and searching myself to correct my
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flaws and strengthen my weaknesses."
I'd said what I needed to say; maybe not completely and fully, for fear that I may break
her heart, but I'd said my peace about our situation. I'm the reason we were in that mess, I'd
gotten us to that point, so I had to try to find a way to rectify the situation. Or give Gina the
option to do so.
"Marvin, I understand what you're going through, and I understand that this is a conquest
that you have to conquer alone."
"Huh?"
"As much as I wanna be there for you, I know that I can't. I would only hinder your
progress. I agree that time alone will help remedy the situation."
"So...?"
"What I'm saying is maybe we need some time apart, to see where we're going, if we're
floating in the same direction, or if we're drifting apart; see where we wanna be.", she expressed,
surety in her voice.
"Wait, Gina, I...."
"Marvin, when you are ready, I'll be waiting; but I won't settle for anything less than one
hundred percent, anything less than I deserve. I love you and that will never change. So this
isn't a good-bye, just a until the next time we see each other."
I did know how to respond. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing by not putting up
a fight and begging Gina not to leave me, but I could no longer hold her hostage in a relationship
that was benefiting her, that didn't give her all of me, and I was tired of being selfish, limiting
her because I didn't think I could live without her. I knew the day was coming, and now that I
have the chance to relinquish Gina with limited damage to the both of us, I have to responsible
and do the right thing.
"I love you, Gina."
"And I you."
"And 0 9"
"Yeah, Marvin?'
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. See you later."
"Lord knows I hope so."
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Chapter 27
The weekend following my separation from Gina, had been a blur of functional distress.
I was trying to handle my business in the streets, keep Tracy from slipping into a clinical
depression, and wrap my mind around how I could rectify the situation between me and Gina.
Money came in, but I neither counted it nor cared to, I was running off of will and Red Bull, and
it was starting to take its toll. By the time Monday rolled around, I was borderline going crazy.
Tone and I were scheduled to meet the connect Monday, so we got together just before
eleven and made our way to see the man who was gonna change our lives. We drove all the way
out to Bloomfield Hills, finally arriving at the mini-manison that sat at the top of a winding road.
The house was so big; it made me feel so small and insignificant. It was a vacation home for the
connect, making me wonder what his primary home was like.
We pulled up to the gate, pushing the button on the intercom. A soft and melodic voice
came through the speaker that stood in the perfectly manicured grass just outside of the steel
reinforced bars that could've easily secured a United States embassy.
"Please, state your name and your business."
"Antonio; I'm here to meet with Ricardo", Tone spoke in a confident and businesslike
voice.
After a half a minute or so, the gate swung open, to a long drive way, showing the house
in all its splendor. The home was all white with large columns that made the entire estate look
like an eighteenth century palace that would house an Earl or a Duke.
When we parked the car, we were met by armed guards, who frisked us, and led us to the
front door, a walk long enough to be a good amount of exercise for a intermediate walker. Once
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inside, you could really admire and appreciate the house, and its true beauty. They say true
beauty is on the inside, and in the case it rang true.
The seventh century decorum would make the hardest and most pessimistic person an
aesthete. The foyer had a high ceiling with a beautiful chandelier hang from it. Growing up, I
read magazines about homes such as these, but never in a million years did I imagine I would be
standing in one.
"Mr. Antonio, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard brilliant things", Ricardo
said, coming down a winding stair case and shaking Tone's hand firmly.
"The same goes here", Tone replied with a smile.
"And who is this?", the lanky Hispanic asked, looking at me with a curious smile.
"Ricardo, this is my little brother, Marvin", Tone introduced me, as I reached to shake his
hand trying to match his firmness.
I noticed his attire, his edge up, something that's common in the African-American
community, or maybe it's common in American society period, to assess someone's attire. It's a
way of reading people, of knowing what they're about. He had definitely been Americanized,
but his accent still lingered, not as thick but still there.
"It's nice to meet you, Ricardo."
"Please call me Ricky, but never Ricky and Ricardo at the same time; I hate Lucy.
Follow me out to the patio, I have drinks and cigars waiting; there we will discuss business
arrangements further."
When we got out to the patio, I noticed the view. The splendor of this house never
ceased to amaze me. Just when I thought I'd seen the best that the house had to offer, more
by: Melvin Spencer
beauty attacks me. You could fit a football field in the back yard and another one for the
manmade lake that overlooked the spacious property.
"Antonio, Marvin, I would like to introduce you to my esposa, my wife, Christina",
Ricky said as his wife walked over to the pearl white patio table set.
Christina was tall and slender, with a beautifully round face, and even, light skin. Her
hair was in a bun, almost like a French roll with bangs slightly covering her forehead. Her
Burberry bathing suit revealed enough to elude to the fact that her body was as flawless as her
facial features. With diamond chandelier earrings, she was more than a dime; she was
absolutely, and unequivocally the queen of her domain.
"Nice to meet you both", she said with a rehearsed, yet genuine, smile and proper
English.
"Mami, these are our new business associates. Our new business venture will prove to be
very profitable", Ricky proclaimed as Christina took a seat to the right of him. Ricky continued
on enthusiastically. "I'm going to lay it all out for you. The first round will be on you. The
second, and everyone after, will be two for one, assuming that all goes well with the first trial
run. En quince a kilo, I assume you'll be buying in bulk?"
I nodded my consent. I didn't do too well in Spanish, but I know quince is fifteen, and I
understand kilo in any language.
"Ricky, we would like to purchase fifty this trip, and I'm positive the number will double
by the end of the year", Tone said, looking at me for confirmation; again, I nodded.
"Excellent! The next time we meet, I will match whatever you purchase on consignment,
bien?", Ricardo announced, Christina looking on with a skeptical stare.
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"Bien", I responded with a smile, thinking to myself, I really have to brush up on my
Spanish.
After the deal was settled, plates with Creole-spiced shrimp and brown rice was set in
front of us, along with a bottle of Italy's most imported win, Santa Margrerita. The food looked
delicious and the wine looked like stars floating in the tears of God.
Let us toast", Ricky recommended, picking up his wine filled glass, and we all followed
suit.
"Let's toast to a long and prosperous partnership, filled with many many millions of
dollars, and an abundance of loyalty", Christina toasted, eyeing everyone, with her glass held
high.
I watched Christina carefully during lunch. She was more than wifey to Ricardo, she was
his partner, his confidante. She had definitely earned her title. She had a no nonsense, business,
swag about her, leading me to believe she was more of a hustler than Ricky, in every sense of the
word. I noticed her take charge demeanor when she gave the toast, when she gave instructions to
the chef for dessert, and I noticed her ability to lighten the mood when things got too serious.
She was defmitely a go getter; everything I wanted Gina and Tracy to be for me. I pondered to
myself, if Gina or Tracy has what it takes to be that universal woman I needed to conquer this
game.
After the meeting, Tone dropped me off at the condo. "Remember we pick up that
shipment this weekend. So have you r money ready", Tone reminded me as his car idled at my
front door.
"I got you", I assured him, giving him dap. "I gotta go holla at everybody to make sure
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we got all those sections locked up, but I'll be ready, either way, this weekend."
When I got inside of the condo, I immediately went to work, only stopping long enough
to take a shit. I had ajar and a half of X pills, three pounds of Afghan weed, three bricks, and six
ounces of hard in the stash. I had to put all of that on the streets, and fast. I called TJ; it was
time to do some networking.
"What up doe? I thought you dropped off the face of the earth again. You're getting
pretty good at your disappearing acts", Tj said.
"Naw. I just needed a little time to myself; feel me? There's a bunch shit happening, and
it's happening all at once, so I decided to slow down, and get myself right. But it's back to
business as usual, and I got a lot of product that I need off my hands. Do you know somebody
who fuck with E pills? I gotta jar and a half that I don't know what to do with; maybe you know
somebody who be throwing them ecstasy parties?"
"Yeah, I think I know somebody who can make something happen for you. Come
through around three o'clock."
"Alight, my gee, I'll holla at you then."
"Ghost!"
It was fifteen after two. The main thing I wanted to get rid of was the pills, being that I
had no experience with them, and I hoped that TJ would find someone to take them off my
hands. I had to check on the other spots in Inkster to make sure that we would have people in
line to buy these bricks once I copped them. I called Tae.
"What's poppin', bro?", I greeted him.
"I ain't heard from you in a long time. What you been up to?"
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"Shit; tryna get my mind right and my money right, at the same damn lime. But let's talk
business."
"You know I'm always about that", he responded.
"You got any work right now?"
"Hell now! I'm waiting on you."
"Look, I gotta whole thong for you; you think you can handle that?"
"Now you know I can handle a whole brick. In fact, I can handle two. Fuck you talking
'bout!", Tae said, cockiness in his tone.
"Aight, two it is; let's say... .three weelcs?.....fifty grand?"
"That's more than enough time for me. I'ma show you that I'm the best damn hustla you
got."
"We'll see."
After my conversation with Tae, I was feeling confident that I could get this shit out of
my hands by the end of the day. I got in the shower and got dressed. I wanted to go casual, yet
trendy for the day, Ricardo rubbing off on me. So I put on my red Doke & Gabbana pleated
shorts, a white Masion Martin Margiela tee shirt, and a pair of Sperry Top-Sider boat shoes,
accented with Marc Jacobs aviator sunglasses.
I jumped in the Porsche feeling like a million bucks. I stopped by the bakery and got a
couple slices of pizza before heading to TVs, for some reason I was still hungry after the lunch at
Ricardo's. When I pulled up in front of TJ's house, I saw Cherish sitting on the porch.; she
was alone and she looked like it.
Getting out of the car, I noticed she wasn't her usually enthusiastic self, she looked kind
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of down. Walking up I could see that her eyes were puffy and bloodshot red. what's wrong
now! If it's not one thing it's another.
"What's wrong, Boo Boo?", I asked sitting down beside her.
"Nothing, Marvin", she replied, her head down as she made an attempt to wipe away the
tears that stained her cheeks.
"Something is wrong; it's obvious. Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Why do men have to be such dogs?"
"I resent that remark", I said, trying to coerce a smile out of her.
"I'm saying, why can't they see when they have a good thing?"
"To be honest with you, I don't know. We all have flaws, both men and women, men
tend to be more of a selfish nature; I know from experience. As humans, we're not gonna get
everything right on the first try, we tend to learn from our mistakes, but trust me, you'll find
someone you can love wholly, in spite of their flaws and shortcomings. Nobody's perfect. We
just tend to highlight other people's faults more than our own, unconsciously.
"Sometimes a person's imperfections require a little extra love and patience. Take your
time with love, there are gifts to be had and lessons to be learned. So even when you're hurting,
count it as a blessing. Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"I've been talking to a guy named Ray for a few months now. He's from a well-to-do
family who lives in Westland. When we first started talking he seemed like a sweet guy, who
genuinely liked me for me. He was sweet and kind, he was a gentleman, just an all around nice
guy. But recently he's been bringing up sex in our conversations. I made it clear that I wasn't
interested in having a relationship that involved sex, but he was persistent.
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"Yesterday we were at his house, in the basement, watching a movie, just chilling. We
started kissing, which I thought nothing of, because I liked him and I didn't mind showing him
that I did. but he started touching on me and I got really uncomfortable. I asked him to stop, but
when I tried to move away from him he grabbed me by my arm." I felt myself getting angry as I
listened to Cherish tell her story. "He pulled me closer to him, and started groping me. Marvin,
I was so scared."
She put her head into my chest. "It's okay, Boo Boo; it's alright", I told her, as I held
onto her.
"If it wasn't for his sister coming down stairs, I don't know what would've happened. I
was such a fool, Marvin."
"Don't blame yourself for his actions. you didn't do anything wrong."
I knew it! I knew I was going to have to fuck somebody up behind Cherish. It was
inevitable. I also knew I would have to be there for her more often. She has this naive way
about her that makes her susceptible to dickheads and stupid muthafucicaz only looking to put
another notch on their belt.
"You know I can take care of that for you", I said, kissing her forehead.
She raised her head off of my chest, and looked me in my eyes. "No, Marvin; just leave
it alone; he ain't worth it. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you behind some dumb shit like
this."
"Watch your mouth, girl", I warned with a unconvincing smile, that actually said I was
proud of her for being so strong. "I know what'll cheer you up; come on."
Cherish and I jumped in the Porsche, and went for a ride out to Taylor. We both needed
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to get away from it all, so I took her to my favorite spot to think. It would do us both some good
to go and chill out for awhile, and it would be good to spend a little time with her, you know, to
let her know that I was there for her, if she needed me.
"Wow, I ain't never been here before", Cherish exclaimed as we walked into the entrance
of Southland Mall.
"It's beautiful isn't it", I said, happy to see a smile on her face."I come here when I
wanna think and clear my head.
"You drive all the way out here just to think?"
"It's a lot of gas money, but the peace of mind is well worth it. I sit by that fountain over
there and allow myself to become one with the water. Notice how calm the water is; it only
moves when something disturbs it. There are always gonna be things in life that are gonna
disturb our peace, but if we become in-tuned with ourselves, we can always return to that
peaceful state; just like the water."
"You know, Marvin, sometimes I wish you were mine", she said with a smile as we
approached the fountain.
"I am yours, Boo Boo. Now let's do some shopping."
As we shopped for outfits and shoes, I made a mental note to make sure this guy, Ray,
who hurt Cherish, was taken care of. I'd call Chubbs and Troy when I got back to the city, to see
what they would do, and how much it would cost me. It didn't matter, I thought as I looked at
Cherish. Whatever it cost, she was worth it.
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Chapter 28
Money was flowing heavily and fast. Since we've been coping from this new connect,
Ricardo, I've made two point seven million dollars, all profit. Of course, I was spending some of
it just as fast. In a little over six months, I'd made three times as much money than I'd ever seen.
I was a millionaire, and it was time to clean some of that money up, and make it legal; invest in
stocks, in businesses, and I'd still invest in the streets.
Life was good, and not only for me, but for the crew as well. Brian copped the new
Mercedes-Benz SL63 AMG. It's a classic silver, with red interior, and twenty inch chrome rims.
Twan copped a red Porsche Panamera GTS, with black interior. Tae copped a red Audi S6, with
peanut butter interior. TJ copped a Benz truck, red with peanut butter interior and twenty-six
inch rims. Tone out did us all with the white McLaren MP4-12C, with the white interior on
factory rims.
I copped Gina a red BMW MS with the grey interior. We've patched things up, slowly
but surely getting to know each other all over again, and me being sensitive to her needs in our
relationship. I couldn't live without her, even if I wanted to. The little time we spent apart made
me see why I'd gotten with her in the first place, why I loved her so much.
In any case, Gina and have been taken it slow, even though she's five and a half months
pregnant. Yeah, you heard right. We're having a baby" We're slowly working things out,
and I believe our relationship is getting stronger; at least I pray that it is, for the baby's sake. I
was really looking forward to us being a family.
Now, Tracy; Tracy is another story. She's slowly coming out of her slump. I expected
her to be over the lost of our baby, but Gina being pregnant isn't doing too much to help the
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situation. I know she's still dealing the lost, I am too, but I don't know what to do for her. I
don't get the chance to spend as much time with her as I used to, because Gina is in need of
constant, and sometimes excessive, attention.
I copped Tracy a pink Porsche Boxster S, with beige interior, and pink rims, but it didn't
make up for the time I couldn't spend with her. So, I decided to take Tracy to Italy for the
weekend. We stayed at one of Salvatore Ferragamo's hotels. With beautiful views, shopping
sprees, art galleries that displayed art that we knew nothing about, neither could we find the
beauty in most of them, and restaurants infamous for the Italian food experience, I thought she
would come back to me, be her old self again, and she did while we were there.
As we rode back to Tracy's apartment, I could tell that the reality of being back home,
back to the same routine, back to Tracy forfeiting most of her time with me to Gina and the child
that she carried in her stomach, hit her pretty hard.
"You alright, lil mama?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. The trip as fun, huh?"
"Yeah", I said. "I enjoyed it; we'll have to do it again sometime soon.
She forced a smile as I winked at her, and she turned the radio up that was playing Chris
Brown's F.A.M.E. album. I didn't know what else to do for her. I've tried everything, but I
couldn't get her out of her funk, and I was fresh out of ideas. That same rift that I felt between
Gina and I, I could feel between me and Tracy. I didn't want things between us to end up the
way they did with me and Gina. Everything was cool when I thought I could give them equally
attention, and most of the time I was good at the balancing act, but when one requires more
attention than the other, it gets complicated.
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I dropped Tracy off at her apartment. She was suffering from jetlag, and I was eager to
check up on my urban investments, as I like to call it. I made my way to Brian's new condo, in
Belleville. My crew alone was up to forty keys a month, and money was plentiful. Brain and
Twan had successfully locked down the Gardens, and had even moved into parts of Romulus and
Belleville, both suburban areas, but they had major potential.
I noticed Twan's car parked next to Brian's when I pulled up. Twan had locked up
Compton also, and pieces in Dearborn; the spots that the Arabs hadn't tapped into yet. Twan
copped a one bedroom apartment in Dearborn heights; efficient and non-committed, he has some
boundary issues.
"What's popping?", Brian asked, opening the door for me.
"What ya'll two niggaz doing?"
"Shit. 'Bout to bag up the rest of this work", Brian informed me. " -II just called me. He
said he's ready; I told him you should be back from Italy today. By the way, how was the trip?"
"Was there any bad Italian bitches?", Twan added, while he was weighing some work on
the table.
"It was cool. Relaxing. It's good to get away from the hood every once in awhile."
"Shit, I love the hood. The hood's been good to me", Twan said.
"If the hood's been so good to you, why do you live in Dearborn Heights? Why don't
you live in the projects?", Brian asked the very questions that I'd been pondering.
"Cause niggaz don't know how to act. It ain't the hood that's bad; it's the niggaz in it",
Twan defended his position.
"Whatever, nigga", I said. "I gotta meet the connect Friday to discuss cheaper prices, but
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if ya'll need anything before that holla at me. Ya'll ready, right?"
Brian went to the hallway closet and pulled out two Nike shoe boxes. I didn't need to
count it, he assured me, it should be fifty thousand apiece.
"Yarn know I gotta take care of that situation Saturday", I reminded them; it was a road
that none of us wanted to cross, but were left without a choice.
"Yeah, that shit is flicked up. I never thought it'd be him; but as the saying goes: you
win some and you lose some. It's crazy", Twan said shaking his head.
"I guess some niggaz don't know the definition of loyalty. You give a nigga a corner and
he want the whole strip. Personally, I would've been taken care of this problem", Brian said,
sympathy absent from his voice.
"I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Now, there's no benefit, just doubt", Twan said.
I had mixed emotions about the situation, but nevertheless this had to be done; I dapped
them up. "I'll get up with ya'll later, I gotta go holla at TJ and Mac, then I gotta go check on
Gina."
I made the drive back to Inkster, my thoughts on Tracy, on Gina, on the issues that I had
to deal with out here in the streets. The problems in the streets were much easier to deal with, in
the physical, that the problems with Gina and Tracy, but they were all equally as stressful. when
I got to TJ's house, Mac was pulling up to the house in his black on black Dodge Challenger
SRT 8; he was a muscle-head.
"What up doe?", Mac greeted me.
"Ain't shit. You doing yo thang. Is that the new joint?", I asked eyeing the car.
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"Yeah. Just got it this weekend. Something for me and my little man to shine in. Trice
don't like it though. She says it's too flashy."
"Yeah, I know how Trice can get."
"That's your bestfriend", he reminded me.
"That's your girl", I said, deflecting, as we walked to the back door.
"Don't remind me."
After a few knocks on the door, TI answered. "What up doe?"
We all walked to the basement. "I gotta meet with the connect Friday, but I gotta couple
if ya'll need em before then", I said, not bothering to sit on the couch with TJ and Mac; I didn't
plan to stay long.
"I'll probably need Wednesday, maybe Thursday at the latest. But I got yo bread now",
Mac said, picking up his Nike nap sack.
"I'm good on the work", TI said, handing me a Reebok shoebox.
I made my pickups at the beginning of the week, and I made my drops at the end of the
week. That way I'm not running all over town every day of the week dropping of a pack to this
person and that person, or picking up from here and there. I operated this way all the time,
unless the times called for special circumstances. Everything was organized, and everything ran
smoothly and like clockwork.
"So what we goin' do about this weekend", II asked as I turned to leave.
"I'll hit you up later about that sitcho; plus! need to holla at you about something else.
But right now, I gotta go check on Gina. I've been gone all weekend, and I haven't checked in
since I've been back. So I'ma holla."
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"Alright, bro; you be cool. And relax a little, nigga; that girl got you running round here
like a chicken wit its head cut off', TJ said.
"Word", Mac added. "Don't let that girl stress you out. I've got three gray hairs since
Trice got pregnant and had the baby."
I dapped them both up, told them I'll get back at them later, and made my exit. I jumped
in the Porsche and made my way to the condo. It was one-thirty in the afternoon, and I've been
running around since my plane landing at Metro Airport, at nine o'clock this morning. Gina had
a doctor's appointment at three o'clock for her ultrasound. I had enough time to take a shower
and grab a bite to eat.
I let the shower water run over me for at least twenty minutes before lathering up a wash
cloth and cleaning myself. After the shower and getting dressed, I heated up a hot pocket, and
made my way to Gina's house. When I got to Gina's house she was getting out of the shower.
Her protruding belly gave her glow that I couldn't resist. She seemed so much more fragile and
all I wanted to do was be gentle with her; sometimes.
"Girl, it's a quarter after two, and you still ain't ready yet", I yelled towards the
bacicroom.
"Relax, Marvin. We got plenty of time; don't be so anxious. You haven't smoked today,
have you?", she asked, calling out from the same bedroom she's had seen they moved up here
from West Virginia.
"What?"
"Whenever you don't smoke, you get a little anxious."
"Are you trying to sell me on the positives of weed?"
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"Just being observant", she called.
She was right, I was anxious about seeing the baby growing inside of her. This would be
her second ultrasound, and I couldn't wait. She came out of the room fifteen minutes later,
glowing still. With her new short hair cut, hooped earrings, a little bit of lip gloss, and a simple
maternity outfit that complimented her baby bump. She was the most beautiful girl in the world,
and no one could convince or persuade me to believe otherwise.
"Baby, you look amazing, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better about
having a big stomach."
"Thanks for bringing how big I am to my attention", she said, rolling her eyes.
I hugged her. "I'm just messing with you. If we wasn't so pressed for time, I'd eat you
up right now, and I mean what I say."
"Boy, you crazy", she said, her smile a mile wide as she gave me a kiss. "Come on, let's
go see what we're having."
We arrived at the doctor's office at ten to three, walking into a mostly empty waiting
room. Their work day usually ended at four o'clock, which meant Gina would be one of the
doctor's last appointments. We sat in the lobby; Gina watched "The Maury Show" on the
flatscreen tv that hung from the wall, while I looked through a "Jet" magazine, which I thought
had stop being printed because the company had went out of business
When we were called back to the ultrasound room, forty minutes and eight Jet mags later,
I could barely contain my excitement. Gina was instructed to lay down on the table and lift he
shirt over her belly. The room was darlc; the only light in the room came from a small ultraviolet
light above a hand-washing sink in the corner of the room, and the light from the monitor.
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"Wow!", Gina exclaimed when the white lady in Pink Panther scrubs applied some clear
gel to her stomach.
"Cold, huh?", the ultrasound tech asked.
Gina nodded. "Yeah, very."
"So you two excited about the baby?"
I answered. "Yeah, very."
Gina looked at me with a smile that was still visible in the darkness of the room. "We
can't wait."
"Well, technically, you'll have to, for about three more months."
"I don't think she was really being technical or literal when she said we can't wait", I
defended Gina.
The conversation stopped when the image of the inside of Gina's stomach displayed itself
on the monitor. I guess it was the inside of Gina's stomach. The image that I saw was amazing.
I was squinting at the monitor, seeing a part of what I'd help create. It was so surreal, it almost
felt like I was dreaming. Seeing my baby on the screen made it more of a reality for me. The
way I should've felt when Gina told me she was pregnant, that's how I felt the moment I saw the
baby on that screen.
I watched Gina as she watched the screen, wanting to capture her emotions in the bank of
my memory. Her eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree. The joy that he face displayed is
indescribable. Her smile, as beautiful as I've ever seen it, was wide and bright. The tears of joy
in her eyes. Matching her facial expression, our eyes met, and we silently agreed that this was
meant to be, that we had done the world a great service by creating such an amazing being. In a
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little over three months, or so, the world would change for the better.
"If you look right there, you can see the tiny feet", the tech pointed at the screen. "And
as far as I can tell this going to be a shy one. You see the hand up by the face, trying to obstruct
our view."
The ultrasound technician smiled as she noticed that Gina and I were both mesmerized by
the sight on the monitor. She must look at unborn babies all day, every day, she still looked as
happy as Gina and Ito see the miracle that God had created moving on the screen. I was still
staring at the screen in total amazement, looking at the visual proof that God is a Restorer, that
God is good.
"Now let's listen to the heartbeat", she said with a smile.
After a half a minute or so, you could hear the tiny heart beat that sounded like a muffled
drum. Gina looked at me again, with tears in her eyes, looking for confirmation of what she was
experiencing. I gave her a quick nod, looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes, seeing her
strength. I could see that she would do whatever to protect her child, and I knew in my heart that
there was no other girl that I would want to bear my child. God had given this unborn child the
perfect mother, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
"The heartbeat is strong. Do you feel the kicking? If you look closely at the screen you
can see the movements", the tech started, getting up to turn on the lights. All looks well from
what I can see. The growth and development is on track, the heart beat is strong; I said that
already, didn't I?"
Gina and I both nodded, our smiles still intact.
"Well, the movements are normal; nothing seems out of the norm. If all continues to go
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well in three and a half months, give or take a week or two, either way, you'll have a healthy
baby girl", the woman finished with a smile.
A girlm 11 I'm going to be the father of a beautiful baby girl. The weight of it all hit
me at that exact moment. I would be responsible for another human being's life. I don't know if
I'll be good at it, but I'm going to try to give this little girl the world.
"Have you guys thought of a name yet?", the tech asked, curiosity mingling in her smile.
I hadn't thought of any names. Maybe I could name her after my mom; naw, too old
fashion. I couldn't calm down enough to think of a name. Hooked at Gina, wondering if she'd
thought of anything in the realm of names.
"Nijialyn Laycole", Gina said smiling at me, again, looking for confirmation.
I walked over to Gina and kissed her forehead. "Nijialyn Laycole Williams. Yeah, I like
the sound of that."
by: Melvin Spencer
304
Chapter 29
"So, do you have a ballroom that I can rent out I know it's short notice, but I just
need it for one night-- I'll pay whatever", I said desperately into the phone as I talked to a
desk clerk at one of the best hotels in the city.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but we are booked up for months in advance. Once again, I'm sorry", she
said. "Is there anything else I can do for you? I can maybe help you get a room."
"No thank you", I said, ending the call.
I knew getting the Renaissance Hotel ballroom would be a stretch, especially on such
short notice, but I had to shoot my shot. I wanted the best for my baby, both of them. I was
looking through a list of hotel with ballroom, on a Google search for the Detroit and Metro
Detroit area. I tried the Marriot, in Romulus, by the Metro Airport.
"Good evening, Marriot, this is Jenny, how may I help you?", a extra perky girl answered
the phone.
"Yes, I'm calling, inquiring about the possibility of renting out your ballroom. You do
have a ballroom, right?"
"Yes sir, we do have a ballroom; and you're looking to rent it out?"
"That's correct", I said playfully, trying to match her enthusiasm. "If I rent it out for a
night, how much would that cost me?"
"We charge one hundred dollars an hour, for up to eight hours. What date are you
looking to get this ballroom?"
"Tomorrow, if possible."
"Wow", he exclaimed, and I could hear her clicking the keys on a key board.
by: Melvin Spencer
"I know it's short notice, but I'm desperate", I explained.
"Let me see if we have an opening for tomorrow, sir." A second later: "Sir, we do have
a slot open at 8pm, but the ballroom closes at 2am. Will that be a problem for you, sir?"
"No, that's perfect. That'll do, thank you."
"The fee will be due two hours before the start time. That'll be six hundred dollars", she
said, but sounded like she wanted to make sure I understood what I was getting into.
"That's great."
"Okay, sir. Who's name am I registering it to?"
"Marvin Williams."
She clicked a few more keys. "Thank you, sir, and enjoy."
This week definitely called for a celebration. I had a beautiful little girl on the way, and
I'd just purchased fifty bricks from the connect, which means we are about to put one hundred
bricks on the street. I was definitely bossing up out here, and it was time to do it like a boss.
I came back into the room after I got off of the phone.
"Gina, wake up", I shook her saying.
Gina had spent the night at the condo after calling me late the night before, requesting
pickles and ice cream. Yeah, you heard right, she woke me out of a sound sleep, a beautiful
sleep, to go to the store and get her some pickles and ice cream. Her appetite was becoming
increasingly erratic.
"Baby, wake up", I tried again, this time succeeding.
"What, Marvin?"
"Don't get no attitude with me. It's twelve-thirty in the afternoon; if you wouldn't have
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been up all night eating pickles and ice cream, you wouldn't be so tired. I gotta take care of a
few things. Do you want me to drop you off at home, or are you gonna stay here?"
Gina hasn't been driving much since she's been pregnant, or as she likes to say
"preggers", so I've been driving her around most of the time. She decided to stay at the condo,
to catch up on her beauty sleep, she said, so I hit the streets. After making the rest of my drops, I
ended up at TJ's. He'd had plans to get his own place, but Momma Rose has been sick lately, so
he was staying there to help her through her discomfort.
"What's popping, bro?", I greeted him as I sat down with him on the livingroom couch.
"Ain't shit. You got that for yo boy?"
"Yeah; what you need?"
"Ten?!!! Ya'll doing big thangs out there in Westland, huh?", I exclaimed.
"Yeah; Chubbs and Troy turned out to be true hustlaz. Them niggaz moving three
apiece, between the two of them. But James turned out to be a diamond."
"James? That's Meeka's brother, right?"
"Yeah, and him and his niggaz moving six and a half, seven in a week and a half, two
weeks time", TJ expressed, seeming to be happy with the production of Westland and people
he's put on.
"How's Momma Rose?", I asked curiously.
"She sleeps a lot, but when she's awake she gets around well. She stays hooked up to
that oxygen machine for most of the day; she can't breathe too well without it."
I hated that for such a good woman. She's been a blessing to so many people and for her
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to be suffering in any way makes me hate life, makes me angry at the plight of the human race;
it's as if we were born to suffer, born to please the grave. It brings back to mind the question
that we ask so many times in our lives, what does it all mean? What is this all about? I spotted
Cherish coming out of Momma Rose's room.
"TJ, your momma wants you, boy", she said, walking into the livingroom.
I had seen Cherish, maybe, six times in the last six months. I'd been busy with Gina, and
Cherish had been busy at school. She was in her junior year at Wayne Memorial, and she was
focused on her grades and her studies. She was still growing physically, and she was more
mature mentally. The last time I'd seen her she was telling about how the guy, Roy, had been
beat up pretty badly, and robbed at Wonderland Mall, while shopping for sneakers. The best five
thousand I'd ever spent.
As 'II went to check on his mom, Cherish came and sat on the couch. "So how is school
going?", I asked.
"It's alright. The Winter Formal is tonight. II is supposed to take me to Fairlane to pick
up my dress and my shoes", she said, sounding excited about the occasion.
"So, who's the lucky guy?", I asked, out of curiosity, not jealousy; okay maybe there was
a little jealousy.
"Jamel. He's a Senior; a pretty nice guy, from what I can tell."
"That's good", I said, trying to sound supportive, but I'm not sure I was too convincing.
"Yeah, it should be nice. So how's Gina?"
"Huge and needy. Last night she called me at two in the morning for some damn pickles
and ice cream. Who the hell eats pickles and ice cream?"
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"My momma said she used to eat salt and vinegar chips with jelly on them while she was
pregnant with me. She says that's why I'm so mean and so sweet at the same time. According
to her, she craved different shit with each of us, that's why we're all so different", Cherish
explained.
"Gina got an ultrasound this past Monday; we're having a girl, and from what you're
saying, she's gonna be another you."
"Aren't you happy about that?", Cherish said, poking me with her elbow and smiling.
"Yeah, that's just what the world needs."
Cherish leaned over and gave me a hug. "Congratulations, Marv!"
"No, I'm really happy about the fact that I'm having a little girl. We're having a little get
together to celebrate, tomorrow at the Marriot by the airport. You and your little crew should
come through; it jumps off at eight. In fact, I gotta go and pick up the decorations from Party
City when I leave here."
"Why don't I go with you? I know you can use some help. I'll tell TT that you'll take me
to pick up my dress and my shoes from the mall. It'll be good for us to spend some time
together. It's been so long.", Cherish suggested with a smile that I couldn't turn down, not that I
wanted to.
"That'll be cool. I'm check on Gina real quick, she's at the condo by herself."
I pulled out my phone as Cherish went to find TJ, and I toiled Gina, making sure she was
okay. Then I called Tracy, wanting to make sure that she was okay also, but I got her voicemail
both times I tried to call.
"Hey, this is Tracy, I can't get to the phone right now. Please, leave a message, and I'll
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get back to you."
It had been a few days since I'd seen Tracy. Although I'd talked to her on the phone the
day before, she'd been distant since we came back from the trip to Italy. I know she's still going
through it. I'd tried everything I could to get her out of her funk, but I'd been unsuccessful so
far. She just hadn't been the same since she'd lost the baby.
"Yo, bro, momma wants to see you", TI informed me, walking back into the livingroom.
"And Cherish said you goin' take her to the mall to get her shit for the dance."
I put my phone back in my pocket. "Yeah, I got her."
"Cool, I can chill for awhile", TJ said, expressing relief.
When I got to Momma Rose's room, Cherish was walking out, carrying an empty pitcher.
I entered the room, that was semi-dark, except for the light on the television and the a lamp that
sat on the bedside nightstand. Momma Rose was sitting up in the bed watching a rerun of a day
time soap opera, on Soap network. Don't ask me how I know.
"Come on in, Marvin. How have you been?"
"I'm okay, ma. How are you?"
"I'm fair." She looked at me intently. "Marvin, you know I've always loved you like a
son. You've been a good friend to my son. I've always know you would grow up to be
something, someone special."
I walked closer to her, witnessing the tears form in her eyes, wanting to hold her but
scared that I may mess something up with the tubes that were attached to her nostrils. The love
that I had for this woman was like that of a son to his mother, and I was happy that I'd had the
opportunity to love her in that manner.
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"Marvin", she continued. "No one else knows this, hell, I don't even know it for sure,
but I feel as if my time is getting short. I may live five more months, I may live five more years.
Please, don't tell anyone, because I don't want them to worry; I know you can handle it. But I
need you to know something. I'm proud of you; I expect you to do great things, and I love you."
Still afraid to touch anything, I kissed her forehead. "I love you too, ma. Even though
we are not blood, you will always be my momma. But don't tell TJ, he gets jealous. I think he
knows that I'm your favorite, but we'll keep that between us two."
She smiled at my joking manner, let she knew that I loved her just as she loved me.
"Marvin, you take care of that baby when it gets here, you hear me?"
"Yes, ma'am. I will."
"Now, do me a favor and hand me that remote."
I gave her the remote control and kissed her cheek before leaving her to her stories.
Cherish was waiting for me when I came into the livingroom. I dapped TJ up and told him I'll
be back.
"What did Auntie Rose want you for?", Cherish asked when we got into the car.
"Nothing. She just wanted me to program something on her tv", I lied. "She's getting
pretty bad, huh?
"She's a fighter. Some days are better than others, but everything will work out in the
end."
We were riding along, listening to The Weelmd, when Gina texted me back finally to tell
me that her mother had came and got her, and that she'd call me later. I was still excited about
the baby, and worried about Gina's movements. Gina's relationship with her mom wasn't at all
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like Tracy's, but still I worried that something would happen, and Gina would lose the baby.
"You hungry, Boo Boo", I asked Cherish, feeling my stomach starting to rumble; rtmning
the streets had given me bad eating habits.
"Yeah, I could go for something to eat."
"We'll stop after we pick up your stuff from the mall."
We picked up her Donna Karen dress and her DKNY heels, from the mall, then we made
our way to Rochelle's for veggie burgers. We dined in, at a table for two that sat over in the
corner of the decent sized restaurant. The decor was amazing, and the setting was intimate, yet
social, not to mention the location was awesome and accessible, making it a popular place to eat.
"So, what are your plans for the future, Ms. Taylor?", I asked biting into the surprisingly
good burger that Cherish was forcing me to eat with her because she wanted to watch her figure.
"What you mean?"
"What do you plan to do after high school? Are you going to college? If so, what do
you plan to study?"
"I.. .1 haven't really thought about that yet. I mean, I'm still in my junior year."
"And you're half way through that. With one and a half school years left you might
wanna start making plans for the future", I advised her.
"Well, I kind of always wanted to be a nurse", she said, taking a sip from her strawberrybanana smoothie.
"A nurse, huh? That's a rewarding profession; do you think you got the patience for
that? I mean, babies crying, people dying, ignorant ass people, high and mighty muthafuckaz,
excuse my French."
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"What? You think I can't do it?", she asked, eyeing me.
"I know you can do anything you wanna do, and I support you in all of your endeavors.
The most important thing is your happiness."
"You know what, Marvin, there's so much pressure on me to be something great, to be
the one who makes it, I don't know if I can do it. I'm expected to be....., I don't know what they
want from me. Their expectations are so high, what if I can't meet those expectations?", she
expressed, concern in her tone.
"Who are you trying to please? Who expects these great things?"
"My mom; my dad; everybody."
"And what are you expectations? Why aren't you trying to please you?" Her head tilted
at the questions, like a dog wondering why did I pee on the carpet instead of going outside, but a
really cute dog. "Boo Boo, you measure your level of success, not society, not your mom, not
your dad; you. If you are happy and proud of where you are in life then, and only then, are you
truly successful. And no matter what you do in life, I'll be here to support and motivate you."
After the meal we made our way to Party City to pick up the decorations for the party.
The sun was preparing to take it's leave, briefing the moon on what went on throughout the day
and what to expect throughout the night, or at least that's the way I imagined it. The store was
surprisingly crowded, a lot of people had wedding showers and baby showers this time of year
for some reason.
"How do you feel about the baby coming?", Cherish asked while looking at some
ribbons.
"I'm ecstatic! I'm looking forward to it. I know she's gonna be spoiled rotten."
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"How does Tray feel about the situation?"
"I don't know. How do you mean?", I asked, yet knowing exactly what she was talking
about, just upset with myself that I hadn't been more considerate of Tracy's feelings in this
situation.
"Tracy was pregnant by you first, right?" I nodded. "Then she must feel some type of
way about the fact that she wasn't able to give you a baby and Gina's going to."
"I know she thinks about it, but we haven't talked about it extensively. She's been out of
it lately."
"It must be hard for her. Gina getting pregnant kinda made up for your pain and loss of
Tracy losing the baby, but Tray doesn't have that; she doesn't have anything to replace that lost,
or even, at the least, alleviate some of the pain. You know what I'm saying?"
Cherish had a point, and a valid one at that. Tracy would be without, while Gina and the
baby would be getting all the attention, all my time, and Tracy feels like that should be her, that
she should be the one with the baby, that she should be getting all of my time; but I didn't have a
solution for that problem. I couldn't be so reckless as to just go and get Tracy pregnant again.
Then a thought passed through my mind. Maybe that's what she wanted this whole time, to
eliminate Gina from the picture by having a baby with me. Nah!!! Maybe I' m over-thinking it.
As we drove back to TVs, I tried to relate to what Tracy's was going through. Could I be
that selfish, not to think about how she would really feel about the whole situation? It's kind of
relative to being on a team where everybody gets to play and you're the exception. Although
you're on a team that's winning, you did nothing to contribute to the winning, so in essence
you're losing. Once again, I feel like I can't give her what she needs, so why am I holding on?
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"Marv, are you gonna wait to see me in my dress?", Cherish asked, pulling me back to
reality.
"I'm not sure, you women take an awfully long time getting dressed, I could be there
forever."
"I promise I won't be long; I'll be a hour an hour and a half, tops", she said, her smile
saying she was joking with me.
"Yeah, I'll wait. We can take a couple pictures together."
When we pulled up to TT s, we went inside, and were greeted by Trice, Toya, and
Tiffany. They were all gathered in the livingroom, seemingly waiting on Cherish to arrive, and
the looks on their faces told me that my assumption was probably true.
"Where have ya'll been? Your date will be here in two hours, and you're out shootin' the
breeze with Marv", Trice scolded us, standing with her hand on her hips.
"We were out getting her attire for the evening. I had to do an inspection before I
allowed her to go. After making careful assessments, and making sure that the dress and shoes
met my swagger standards and requirements, she free to go", I said, jokingly.
"Shut up, Marv", Trice commanded
"No, really, we went to but decorations for my party that I'm throwing tomorrow, I
would've been lost without Cherish's help. You all are formally invited, if you carry yourselves
in a decent and appropriate manner. MI those who fail to meet these standards will be thrown
out by their weaves."
"Again, shut up, Marvin", Tiffany said, but this time we were all laughing.
They whisked Cherish off to the bathroom, for a long and grueling preparation process. I
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didn't want to be a part of that. I went to the basement, where I found TJ playing the game.
He'd had some E&J and a blunt, and we sat there smoking and drinking, while he beat me in
Madden. Half way through our third game, I heard Trice calling my name.
"Marv, come upstairs, now."
"Hold on, bestie, we're half way through this game; I'll be there in a minute."
"Boy, if you don't get up here; ain't nobody got all day to be waiting on you."
TJ and I paused the game, and walked up the stairs, and into the livingroom. I was
expecting to see Cherish, but it was only Trice, standing there with a smile on her face, a smile of
accomplishment.
"What is it, Trice? I was just about to beat him; you messing with my mojo", I said,
taking a seat on the couch next to TJ.
"You must've been seeing something else, because I was beating the shit out of you", TJ
corrected me.
"Language", Trice snapped. "I have virgin ears."
"No offense, Trice, but you got a baby; you don't have virgin nothing", TJ said.
I stifled a laugh that was building up in my throat.
"Whatever; that game can wait", Trice said. "Cherish said you wanna see her dress and
take some pictures."
"Yeah, so... .where is she?"
"Boy, you can't rush perfection. Here she comes right now."
As Cherish walked into the livingroom, time stood still. Cherish exceeded beauty. The
lilac color dress accentuated her features, and gave her skin tone a glow. The matching heels
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accented the dress perfectly. No make-up, that I could see, and light lip gloss, made her natural
beauty radiate. She looked like she was modeling for a one of those beauty product
commercials, and that any minute she would say something like, easy breezy beautiful Cover
Girl.
When our eyes met, I knew my feelings for her were deeper than I was willing to admit.
It was more than just her physical beauty, but it was moments like these that made my feelings
for her increase exponentially. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Beautiful. She
walked closer to me.
"So, how do I look?", she asked.
"Like the most beautiful girl in the world; and I'm not just saying that", I expressed, still
stunned by her beauty.
I was staring at her. "So, are we gonna take pictures or what?", she asked, snapping me
out of my trance.
"Oh, yeah, my bad Let's flick it up."
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Chapter 30
The ballroom was spacious, and decorated with red, pink and white ribbons, that meshed
very well, surprisingly. Cherish had done a great job choosing the colors. The ribbons were
strung from corner to corner, making the place look festive, even with the lights dimmed.
Banners read "Congrats" throughout the room. Bottles were strategically placed throughout the
ballroom to keep people from overindulging, not that it helped.
Drinks ranged from Hennessy to Belvedere to Moet. Chicken wings, macaroni,
spaghetti, bread rolls, pies and cakes were plenteous. We weren't lacking in hungry folks.
Everybody was dressed to the nines. The oxblood colored Prada suit that draped over my body
stood out amongst my counter parts. That's to be expected since my girl was the one expecting.
The Gators kept me light on my feet, and made my swag impeccable.
"Momma, are you alright? You need anything to eat , may be something to drink?", I
asked, as I approached my mother's table, where she was sitting with her friends, Diana and
Estella.
"No, baby, we're just fine", she replied with a smile.
"Nice suit there, Marvin. You looking sharp tonight", Diana complemented me.
"Thank you, auntie flit"
"Where's that girl of yours? She's pretty", Estella asked.
"She waddling around here somewhere", I said. "In fact, I should go and find her before
she topples over. You lovely ladies enjoy yourselves, and don't drink too much. We only have
so many designated drivers."
I spotted Tracy a few tables away from my mother's, and I pulled up a chair next to her.
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"Hey, baby girl. You alright? Do you need anything? Have you eaten anything? There's plenty
of food. I'll get you a plate."
"Marvin! I'm okay. Relax!", she said with her beautiful smile, the same smile that I'd
fell in love with.
She was surprisingly cheerful. It'd been a long time since I'd seen her without a frown
on her face. Maybe it was the liquor, but I wasn't going to complain about it. She seemed
happier and that's all that mattered. Actually, it was the first glimpse of the old Tracy that I'd
seen in a very long time.
"Marvin, I really am happy for you. I just have a hard time expressing it. Every time I
think about you and try to be happy, I start to wish that I was in Gina's position. You know me,
and you know my heart; you know I how I feel about you."
She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek; the look in her eyes telling the whole story.
"Tracy, you know that I love you and that will never change."
She smiled and nodded her head in confirmation.
"What are ya'll two talking about?", Gina asked, putting her arm around my neck.
"I was just telling your man here, how happy I am for him. He's gonna be a wonderful
father", Tracy said with a smile.
"Yeah, my man knows how to take care of his girls", Gina said kissing me on my lips.
"Yup, he sure does", Tracy said, almost absently.
"Oh, your brother's looking for you; he sent me to come and get you", Gina said,
pointing to the far corner.
"If you'll excuse me ladies", I said getting up from the table, wondering if there was any
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tension between the Tracy and Gina; it sure felt like, but maybe I was tripping.
I made my way over towards my brother. Tone was in the corner with TJ, Twan, Brian,
and Tae. They had bottles in their hands. Even Brian saw an occasion to drink, although it was
only champagne. I saw Cherish, Tasha, Meeka, and the twins walk into the ballroom from the
corner of my eye, but they would have to wait, for now.
"What yall niggaz doing?", I asked as I approached the fellas, dapping everyone up.
"Come on, bro. I know you're celebrating the baby, but we also have to commemorate
the day that ya'll copped fifty thangs. This is a big day! So let's make a toast to real niggaz
doing real things. To real niggaz", Tone said lifting his glass.
"Now that that's out of the way, lets toast to the future father", Tae said holding up his
glass of Remy Martin.
"Yeah, nigga, you and Gina doing big thangs", Twan said rubbing his belly.
"Naw. Real talk, bro, we're all happy for you. We know you're gonna be a good father.
And we're here for you if you ever need anything", Brian said seriously, but slurring a little.
"To fatherhood", TJ said, raising his glass.
"Hell naw. I ain't toasting to fatherhood. Ya'll ain't goin' jinx me. I don't want none of
my bitches calling me talking about they pregnant. Fuck that!", Twan expressed.
"I feel you on that", Tone seconded him.
"We'll toast to Mary's fatherhood", Twan said with his glass up, and after a brief round
of laughter, we all toasted to me becoming a father.
After the toast with the guys, I slid off to find Cherish. The room was getting crowded,
and it was hard to tell who was here by invite, and who was here through word of mouth, but I
by: Melvin Spencer
didn't care as long as everyone behaved, I was cool with whoever came out to celebrate with us.
I found Cherish with Toya, Tiffany, Tasha, and Meeka, sitting at a table with plates of food in
front of them.
"Evening ladies", I greeted them, interrupting their conversation.
"You look dapper tonight, Marv; and this party is off the chain", Meeka said, smiling at
me, still trying to work her charm.
"Thank you. Ya'll ain't been drinking tonight, have yarn?", I asked my eyes falling on
Cherish.
Tiffany and Toya raised their glasses and smiled; of course they were over eighteen,
therefore they were grown and could make their own decisions about drinking, even though they
weren't twenty-one. Cherish, Tasha, and Meeka flashed orange slice cans, and I nodded my
approval.
"I see ya'll got something to eat", I acknowledged, again my eyes falling on Cherish, and
she smiled at me lifting her plate.
"Do ya'll want some privacy?", Tiffany asked.
Cherish looked at Tiffany. "What?"
"Ya'll ain't fooling nobody. We know ya'll been waiting to see each other, now ya'll
can't keep your googly eyes in ya'll heads", Tasha said.
"Well, since we ain't fooling yell, Cherish may I have this dance?", I asked, extending
my hand.
Cherish accepted my invitation, putting her hand in mine, and allowing me to lead her to
the dance floor. We slow danced to Marvin Gaye, holding each other as we swayed from side to
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side.
"So how was the dance last night?", I asked.
"It was alright, but all night I wished that I could be dancing and having fun with you",
she said, laying her head on my chest
"Cherish, you know I love you, and I don't wanna hurt you.... I just wish this was
another time and place. I know I would make you so happy."
"I am happy, Marv. Whenever I'm with you, in whatever capacity, I'm happy."
"You're a smart, beautiful, and special young lady, and I'm proud of you, Boo Boo."
"You're good at giving compliments."
"And you're the best recipient I know", I said, complementing her again.
"See, I told you."
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Tae is about to fight?", Tasha said, a bit panicky as she broke
up Cherish and my slow dance, Meeka and Toya by her side.
"Where?", I asked scanning the room. Meeka pointed me in the right direction, and lo
and behold Tae was at the center of all the commotion. I kissed Cherish on the forehead.
"Thanks for the dance."
"Yo, chill! Ain't shit going down at my party. Ya'll niggaz better fall the fuck back", I
said, getting in between Tae and some high yellow nigga that I didn't even recognize. "Yell
niggaz gotta take that shit somewhere else; it ain't that type of party. My momma's here, man;
Tae, yo moms is in here."
"I'm good, this nigga need to learn a little something about respect, and I'm just the nigga
to teach him", the high yellow guy said, pointing his finger at Tae.
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"Fuck you, nigga. I'ma show you respect, I promise you that", Tae spat lunging at the
guy.
"Tae, let's go."
"Fuck that! Why do I gotta go, Marv. This bitch ass nigga spilled my drink."
"And I apologized, but obviously that's not good enough for you", the guy interjected.
Tae lunged at him again.
"Tae, come with me, and you.....what's yo name?"
"Marcus", he answered.
"Marcus, relax and enjoy yourself', I instructed. "And try not to be so clumsy."
Tae followed me and TJ outside through the lobby and into the parking lot full of cars,
mostly belonging to people that was attending my party. I wanted one night where I could
celebrate, one night without drama, but it wasn't meant to be. Was my life going to be filled
with drama forever?
"Yo, that nigga goin' get it, I promise. I don't flicked up my six thousand dollar suit",
Tae said, pulling on the blunt that TJ had rolled up.
"It ain't even that serious; the nigga apologized", I said, frustrated with the situation; I'm
supposed to be inside celebrating and I'm outside doing damage control.
"He did that shit on purpose", Tae insisted. "He's one of Tina's exes; he's been tryna get
back wit her for the longest. I gotta trick for his ass though. Thata be the last time he disrespect
me, bro."
"You might be reading too much into this, Tae", TJ said, hitting the blunt.
"Finally someone's thinking with their head", I said.
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"Fuck that! I know what he was tryna do."
"Look, Tae; how many times have I told you not to fuck with that girl? How many times
have I told you that I don't trust her? She's grimy, bro."
"Marv, it's not her it's these niggaz."
"She got you gone", TJ added.
"But don't take our word for it. Actions speak louder than words and one you goin' see it
for yourself', I said before turning around and walldng away from him in exasperation.
I went back inside. I was tired of trying to keep Tae calm and level headed, tired of
trying to make him see the error of his ways. Hard lessons had to be learned from experience.
Yet, sometimes, by the time you learn your lesson it's too late. This was a day of celebration,
and I wasn't about to let Tae ruin it with his hot ass temper.
Gina met me at the ballroom entrance. "Is Tae okay?"
"Yeah, Boo. He's alright. He just needs some time to cool down, and get his head
together. How're you?"
"I'm good. I just finished dancing with your crazy ass brother."
Tone was now on the dance floor with my mom, doing the bump. "Will you save me a
dance?", I asked. She kissed my lips and walked away without a word. "I'll take that as a yes",
I yelled after her.
"Yo, Marv, your momma was looking for you earlier", Brian came up and said while I
watched Gina waddle away. "You must really love that girl, huh?", I asked when I didn't
respond to him.
"Bro, it's like she's even more beautiful than before. I've never loved her more than I do
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right now."
"You love her more because she's carrying your daughter. She does have a glow about
her now. But just like she's eating for two, you're loving for two."
"That's the dumbest analogy I've ever heard."
"But it makes sense though", Brian said defensively.
"Yeah, but I really feel bad for Tracy. She's getting the short end of the stick. Gina gets
the attention, the extra love, the extra tie, the baby. It's really not fair, ya know?"
"What you goin' do? Get Tracy pregnant?"
"No. that would be too much."
"Marv, everybody can't win. Somebody has to lose", Brian explained, and I understood.
"You're drunk aren't you?", I asked.
"Tipsy, but I know what I'm talking about", he assured me.
"Anyway, let me go see what this woman wants."
By now my mother was back sitting with her friends, conversing about God know what.
It makes me wonder, if young girls and young women gossip about men, what do old women
gossip about? Probably about other women and their men. My mother wanted me to walk her
and her friends to their car, and I obliged them.
After kissing them good-bye, I scanned the parking lot for Tae and TJ. I didn't see them;
they must've went up to Tae's room. I looked at my Cartier watch; it was 1:15am. The party
was set to end at 2am, and I needed an alibi. The hallways didn't have any cameras, only the
lobby, so if I took the back door through I'd be good. I took the back way to Tae's room, using
the stairs instead of the elevator.
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After a few knocks on the hotel door, Tina opened it, and I was attacked by the smell of
liquor and weed smoke. Tae and TJ were sitting by the window, blowing smoke out of the
sliding window. Music was playing, what sounding like some old Lil Wayne, Sqad Up Lil
Wayne.
"What's popping, bro? You tryna hit this shit? It's that exotic", Tae said when he
noticed me.
"I'm good. I need to holla at you."
"Is this about that shit down at the party? Look, bro, I'm sorry. I know you were
supposed to be celebrating, and I wouldn't want to fuck that up. That's why we came up here."
"Naw, that ain't it."
"Then, what's up?", he asked curiously.
"To be honest with you, you're what's wrong. You've been flicking up lately, and....
You had to know this day was coming." I looked him; he wore a puzzled expression. "I've let
you live long enough out here."
"Marv, what's going on, bro?", he asked.
"Fuck it. I'ma cut right to the chase. You thought I didn't know nigga, but I've known
all along. Even though my mind was made up, you still didn't do anything to try and rectify the
situation. I know you and Gina used to kick it back in the day. I had to find out from someone
else, but I know. I know you still have feelings for her."
"Bro, I...."
"Don't bro me! If you had a problem with me dating her you should've let me know
from the jump. Instead you took the sucka route; now I gotta see you try to flirt with her, hear
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that you've been calling her on the low. At first I didn't want to believe it, then when you made
me a believe it, I couldn't figure out why you would do yo boy like that. Gina broke it all down
to me, she even told me that she almost gave in to you while we were taking a break from our
relationship."
"Bro, I swear....", he tried again, but I was past hearing his lies.
"You still on that bro shit. But we ain't brothers no more. We were brothers! Past tense.
If you would told me a nigga would've backed off and not pursued her. I even would've stopped
seeing her after the fact, but you chose to try and fuck with me in order to get back at her.
Nigga, I've you since the first grade. I never thought ita be you!"
Tae face had a look of defeat on it. I saw him looking for an exit, but there wasn't one;
unless he was willing to jump eight stories to the ground. Truthfully, he would've had a better
chance at living than he did with me. He looked at his empty waist. He had gotten so
comfortable, hi gun was on the other side of the bed, on the nightstand.
"Nothing can save you now, pussy", I said as TJ screwed the silencer on the tip of his
pistol. "The mother of my unborn child came to you for advice and confidence, hoping you
would be a friend and console her, not take advantage of her. Instead, you try to push up on
her, I slapped the shit out of him to satisfy my anger, yet I wasn't satisfied. "What hurts me the
most is you let them niggaz run in my crib and shoot me damn near to death, and you smiled in
my face like you didn't know they were gonna blow my fucking head off"
"I didn't...."
"You knew!"
"Man, I didn't know they were gonna shoot you. They said they were just gonna rob
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"And you thought I wouldn't buck? Nigga, you knew that I wouldn't just let them take
something from me without a fight. Therefore you knew that they were gonna try to blow my
flicking head off. Either way, you betrayed me, and you gotta go."
"That's flicked up, Tae", TJ added, putting a clip into his pistol.
I looked at Tina. "Tina turn the radio up some", I instructed her, then tuned back to Tae.
"Oh yeah, the same bitch you tried to turn into yo wife, betrayed you for a hundred stacks.
That's all your life was worth to her; a hundred thousand dollars. That's flicked up. Betrayal is
a bitch in a red dress and high heels."
"Yo, Marv, bro, I never meant for any of that shit to happen I..."
In the middle of his spiel, he pushed past me, snuffed TI, and broke for the door. As Tae
tried to take the chain off of the door, I heard two muffled shots coming from the bed that TI had
falling on after he was punched. Tae was hit in the leg and the back and he fell to the floor in
pain. I walked towards him as he laid on the floor gasping for air. I stood over him and held out
my hand, motioning for TI to give me the pistol.
TJ handed me the pistol that felt heavy against my gloved hand. I didn't know if I was
capable of killing someone that was so close to me, even if he did betray me. I aimed the gun at
Tina, hit her three times in the chest, and watched her fall to the floor in a heap. Tae watched as
his lover and betrayer fall a few feet from him.
"I never like that bitch anyway", I said turning my attention back to Tae.
"I love you, man. Marv, I love you. I never meant for that shit to happen", Tae said
making his last plea, but I was done.
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"Don't say you love me; you make it sound so shallow. The bad thing is, I love you too,
but you broke my heart." Two shots to the head rocked him to sleep. I watched him take his
final breaths. "You broke my heart", I said as a single tear fell from my eye.
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 31
I woke again with sweat on my sheets and tears on my pillow. It'd been three month
since the night of the party, the night I took my one of my closest friend's life. The past three
months had been a torment. I cried every day, almost; I ate every other day; I rarely went out,
unless it was to make drops or pickups; I'd gotten very little sleep. If it wasn't for Gina, the
condo would be a mess.
I didn't see too many people outside of my brother and my boys. The only time I saw my
mom or Tracy was when I was making drops or pickups, and that was only for a few minutes.
My world was turned upside down by that night and I didn't know what would make it right. I
could only think of one think that would make me happy again, and that was my daughter being
born.
Gina was set to go for her last check-up. Her due date was in two weeks and I was
getting out of my funk by getting excited for the arrival of my baby girl. The closer we got to
Gina's due date, the happier I became.
"Baby, you up? I didn't wanna wake you 'cause you were sleeping so peacefully", Gina
said rousing me from one of the rare times I been able to sleep. She looked at me with weary
eyes. "You know the appointment is in a hour and a half. I got you some breakfast in the
kitchen."
"Baby, you don't know how to cook. I don't feel comfortable, or safe for that matter,
eating your cooking", I said wiping my eyes. She folded her arms across her chest, and rolled
her eyes. She hadn't noticed that I was perspiring a little, or the tears that stained my pillow,
thankfully. "No offense."
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"Whatever."
"I'll tell you what, I'ma jump in the shower, and when I get out, and get dressed, I'll try
your cooking."
Gina smiled her beautiful smile, and kissed me. "You don't have a choice", she said
before running off to the kitchen.
The shower felt amazing! The iHome played Ne-Yo, and I allowed the music to calm my
nerves and relax me. After the shower I got dressed. I dressed casually in Cavalli Jeans, a
Maison Martin Margiela v-neck tee shirt, a pair of beige Chuck Taylor's, and some Oliver
Goldsmith sunglasses to top off the ensemble. When I walked into the kitchen, Gina was
pouring glasses of orange juice.
"How do I look?", I asked.
"Like a computer geek, trying to be cool. Now go and have a seat in the diningroom, and
take these glasses of juice with you", she instructed, laughing at her own joke.
I did as I was told. I waited another minute or so, impatiently, not realizing how hungry I
really was. Soon she brought the plates to the table. I examined the plate that Gina sat in front
of me. She made fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, toast, and Jimmy Dean's turkey sausage
patties. I took my first bite.
"MMHH!!! This ain't bad, Gina. Wait. Who are you and what have you done with my
girl?", I asked playfully.
"Boy, stop!", she said blushing.
The food was surprisingly good. After the meal we made our way to the doctor's office.
I looked at Gina as she sat in the passenger seat listening to Adele. I had the most beautiful girl
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in the world and she was carrying my child. She's more than enough, yet and still, my heart was
still divided. Even though I hadn't been spending that much time with Tracy I still loved her. If
I loved her enough not to torment her any more was another question. She deserved to be happy
and if I couldn't provide that for her, then maybe I should let her go.
Gina looked at me and smiled. Her short hair and her round face complementing each
other; damn she was fine. I'm a lucky man, having two beautiful women, but some day my luck
would run out and I'd have to choose, I thought to myself.
My phone began to vibrate. I looked at the caller id display, and I saw that it was Tracy.
It had been a while since we've spoken, I mean really had a conversation, because she'd call at
the most inopportune times, such as this one.
"Hey, what's poppin'?", I answered.
"Who this?", male voice asked, and rather sternly too, making me defensive.
I double checked the display to make sure that it read Tracy; it did. "Look, ha), I don't
who you are, and frankly I don't give a fuck. It's obvious that you don't know me, 'cause if you
knew better you'd do better. You called my phone. If it ain't about money, I ain't got the raps.
So before you speak, think about your words, and I think it would be in the best interest of
everyone if you chose them wisely and carefully."
"Look, dude", the guy started, but in a much calmer tone. "I don't know you and you
don't know me, but I see your number in my girl's phone, and I see texts from you telling her
you love her. What's going on?"
"Look, that's between ya'll two; don't call me asking questions, nigga."
"Well, she's my girl", he stated, his voice raising an octave. "Don't call her, text her,
by: Melvin Spencer
none of that shit nigga, or...."
I ended the call; I didn't have time for that sucker shit. I can't believe he actually went
through her phone; where they do that ate> Gina looked at me skeptically, but she didn't say
anything. I was pissed off and it was visible. I never thought Tracy would allow some shit like
that to happen, and believe me, in order for that to happen she had to let happen. She let that
clown actually call my phone.
Fuck it! In my heart, I was looking for an out, but I wanted to give her the chance that I
thought she deserved. I'm about to start a family, and I can't be running around trying to give
Tracy time that my daughter and the mother of my child should be getting. I'm committed to my
family, fuck everything else; it's too complicated to deal with the extra shit. If she wants to fuck
with clowns let her. It may take some time to get over Tracy, but I can no longer risk my family
for her.
We pulled into the pothole ridden parking lot of the doctor's office. It was half empty, or
was it half full? I guess it all depends on how you look at it, and so it is with the situation I was
in. By ending things with Tracy, I wasn't exactly losing her, but rather I was gaining my family,
wholly and truly. I parked the Porsche, and cut the engine.
"You okay?", Gina asked, looking at me.
"Yeah, I'm good", I said, painting on a smile for her. "You know, I was thinking, maybe
you should move in with me. The baby is going to need a stable home, with both parents, and
you are going to need help with her. I want us to be a family. I want Nijialyn to have what I
never had, and I don't want you to ever feel like I'm not there for ya'll. I love you both, and us
living together, being together, would be best for all of us."
by: Melvin Spencer
"So you wanna get back together?", Gina asked.
"I thought we were already back together."
"Having sex and spending the night, doesn't exactly constitute togetherness, not these
days. You want me to move in with you? Will I be all yours? Nobody else?", she asked, in a
tone that convinced me that she knew about Tracy, and as smart as Gina is, I had no doubts
that she knew.
"Yeah, Gina, you got me. All of me."
She leaned over and kissed me on the lips, a kiss from the days of exclusivity. From the
days when it was just me and her, and she didn't have to worry about someone else taking up my
time. It was a passionate one, one that said I love you.
"Is that a yes?", I asked.
"It's a yes. Now come on before I change my mind", she said opening the car door.
I helped her out of the car, and we walked hand-in-hand into the doctor's office; a proud
couple with a baby girl on the way to make our family complete. We were back together again,
and this time I would do it right, and nothing will come between us. It wasn't long before the
doctor called us in to see Gina.
"Well, Ms. Weights, everything is on track. You're moving along right on schedule", he
said after the last and final ultrasound before she was due to give birth. "The baby has a healthy
heartbeat, and everything appears to be normal. You haven't been drinking or smoking while
you've been carrying, have you?"
I looked at Gina.
"No, Doc I haven't", she said.
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I knew better than to think that Gina would be that irresponsible, that wasn't even in her
character. Although she and the baby often ought, by way of Gina tapping her stomach when the
baby kicked, Gina loves that baby more than anything in this world and she's not even here yet.
But a lot of unexpected things had been happen, and it had me on edge.
"If you feel any contractions lasting longer than ten minutes, go to the nearest hospital,
and have them call me, if they think the baby is about to drop. You guys take care and always be
prepared with overnight bags and the such", the doctor said before leaving the examination
room.
I walked Gina back out to the car. "Let's go shopping", I suggested as I opened the
passenger side door for her, and she climbed in.
"We already got everything we need for the baby", Gina said, when I made it into the car,
know I was just excited about the baby coming any day now.
"My princess can never have enough of anything."
"Ah shit! Here we go! You're going to spoil her before she even gets here."
We went to Northland Mall. It wasn't the closest mall to us, in fact it was probably the
furthest, outside of Eastland Mall, but I wanted to spend time with Gina, sort of renew our
relationship. We shopped for more baby clothes, getting Nijialyn some more onesies, and six
pairs of Nike Booties. Gina even went shopping for herself, getting herself a sundress, and I got
two pairs of Uptowns, just seasonal all white lows and mids.
While Gina went into Victoria's Secret, I went to look at some jewelry at Kay's. I was
looking at a chain for Nijialyn when I spotted a ring with a pink diamond. For some reason it
stood out to me. Something in my mind clicked and the ring looked so beautiful and thought it
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would look even more beautiful on Gina's hand.
"How much is that ring right there?", I asked the female sales clerk, pointing to the
beautiful ring.
"This one here is one hundred and fifty-two thousand dollars. Are you thinking about
marriage?", she asked. "Because this ring would usually be classified as an engagement ring."
I looked at the ring closer as the sales clerk pulled it out of the display case. I didn't even
notice Gina standing next to me. When I finally became aware of her presence I was caught off
guard.
"Am I thinking about engagement?", I asked.
"I don't know, are you?", she said letting out a nervous laugh.
I pulled out my credit card, and watched as Gina became giddy with excitement, and the
sales clerk put the ring in a box with dollar signs in her eyes.
"You don't have to bag it", I informed the clerk. I grabbed the box from the counter and
dropped to one knee, in a thousand dollar pair of jeans, I might add "Gina you are more than a
friend to me, you are more than my girl. You are my soul mate in life, and I want to make it
official with this ring. Let's turn our now into forever. Gina will you marry me, and become a
part of me, forever making me the happiest man in the world?"
"Marvin, I really don't know what to say", Gina said, looking at the ring.
"Say that you love me and we'll be together forever."
"Marv, I love you and I want to be with you forever."
I smiled up at my wife-to-be, and placed the ring on her finger. The crowd of spectators
that gathered around the store, broke out into a round of applause, as I stood to kiss and hug
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Gina. She blushed and flashed her ring to the crowd of on lookers Yeah right! What you think this is some romantic comedy or something? Wasn't
nobody worried about what we were doing; if anything some people were hating. Still and all,
things were finally starting to look up for us. How's the saying go? "To lose is to gain", or
something to that effect. I've suffered great losses in my short lifespan, and all this time those
losses were preparing to win. Whatever the case, this was my greatest victory, to date, and with
the birth of Nijialyn looming closely behind, more victories were sure to come.
"Let's go celebrate", I suggested, escorting Gina to the car.
"I'm tired; let's just stay in and celebrate", Gina said, obviously fatigued and tired from
the day's events.
"Well, we'll stop by Farmer Jack's, and pick up some groceries; I'll make you us dinner",
I said proudly.
"Oh shit! You tryna kill me and the baby", Gina said sarcastically.
"Really, G! That's what you think of your fiancé?"
We drove to the grocery store, with the music playing Lyle Jennings, smiles adorning
both of our faces. I was trying to process how this had become the best day of my life. I would
be a father in a few weeks, perhaps sooner than that, and I would be a husband soon also. It was
all so surreal. My mother was going to be proud of me.
I texted everyone with the news of my engagement, and told them we going out to
celebrate soon. I let Gina call my mother with the news -she insisted- while we walked through
the store, looking for ingredients for a shrimp and chicken Alfredo recipe that I'd stolen from the
Food Network. I smiled and shopped as Gina talked happily into the phone to my mother.
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"Here, she wants to talk to you", Gina said banding me her phone.
"What it do?"
"Boy, what I tell you about talking to me like that?", my mother scolded me.
"I'm just messing with you, momma."
"Congratulations", she said, excitement back in her voice; she was probably planned the
wedding as we spoke.
"Thanks ma; you proud of me?"
"I've always been proud of you, boy. I'm happy for you."
"I'm happy too. For the first time in a long time, I can truly say that I'm happy."
"You're gonna be a great husband and an even better father. You better be", she said.
"I will be."
"I know you will."
"Thanks ma. I love you."
"I love you too, boy. Put Gina back on."
I finished shopping while Gina talked to my mother about everything from wedding
dresses to plans for a reception. They were having a ball, laughing and giggling, and I was
happy for the both of them. They both had been through a lot with me and they deserved to
finally be happy, knowing that their happiness was a by-product of my own. It sounds kind of
selfish, now that I think about it, but if my selfishness made other's happy then I was on the right
path to selflessness.
When we got back to the condo, darkness had settled into the sky, and Gina was now on
the phone with her mother, giving her the good news. I could tell that this would probably last
by: Melvin Spencer
throughout the night. I escorted Gina in the house, along with a few bags. I went back out to the
car to collect the rest of the items from our shopping bonanza.
Walking out of the condo, I, happily, thought about how Gina would look at the wedding.
Nijialyn would make a beautiful flower girl. My brother would be my best man. Maybe me
getting married would make him want to settle down. Yeah right! That would be like telling a
hyperactive kid to sit still; they might stay there for a while, but sooner or later their going to get
up and run about.
"Hey, Marvin", I heard a familiar voice call as I was getting the groceries out of the
trunk.
When I turned around and saw Tracy standing there, my heart dropped, and the groceries
almost dropped also. I had forgotten she had access to my condo, and I also forgot how beautiful
she was. What did she want? She came close to me, and stood a few feet away from me.
"What's poppin', Tracy?", I asked, nonchalantly.
"Why haven't you called me today? You never go a day without at least a phone call; so
what's up?"
"I thought you would be with yo man. You know, the nigga you had calling me, talking
reckless."
"Well, I had to get some attention from somewhere."
"Is that what you wanted, Tracy, attention? If that's all you wanted, you could've told
me that from the door. I thought you wanted more than attention; obviously, I was wrong. That
nigp sitting in the car will give you all the attention you need. How ever long that lasts, still
remains to be seen."
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"Fuck you, Marv."
"I tried to do more than just fuck you, but if I knew that's all you wanted I wouldn't have
flicked with you in the first place."
She slapped me hard, catching me by surprise. I ate the first one even though it left my
face stinging. "Please don't put your hands on me, Tracy", I asked as politely as my anger
would allow me to.
She cocked her hand back to slap me again, but I caught her arm in mid-swing, and
pushed her against my car. Out of the conaer of my eye, I saw the guy get out of Tracy's car. I
let Tracy up. The guy was stocky and slightly shorter than myself, he gripped a pistol in his
hand.
"Nigga, if you touch my girl again, I'll kill yo ass", he said, pointing the pistol at me.
"You got that playboy."
"I know", he said confidently, but the shaking of his hand gave him away; he wasn't
about that life.
"Look just chill", I said, playing the sucker role.
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"Fuck you, Marv."
"I tried to do more than just fuck you, but if I knew that's all you wanted I wouldn't have
flicked with you in the first place."
She slapped me.. ..hard, catching me by surprise. I ate the first slap, even though it left
my face stinging. "Please don't put your hands on me, Tracy", I asked as politely as my anger
would allow me to.
She reared her hand back to slap me again, but I caught her arm in mid-swing, and
pushed her against my car. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guy get out of Tracy's car. I
let Tracy up. The guy was stocky and slightly shorter than myself, he gripped a pistol in his
hand.
"Nigga, if you touch my girl again, I'll kill yo ass", he said, pointing the pistol at me.
"You got that, playboy."
"I know", he said confidently, but the shaking of his hand gave him away; he wasn't
about that life, and I lived this shit.
•
"Look, just chill", I said, playing the sucker role, even though it was obvious that Tracy
hadn't told her new beau who he was dealing with.
•
"Tracy, what's up?", I heard Gina's voice come from behind me.
•
When I turned my head to confirmed that it was in fact Gina calling out, I heard a shot,
and in that same instance I witnessed Gina fall to the ground, clutching her chest. I ran to her as
she laid on the walkway leading to my door, gasping for air. I cradled her in my arms, not
knowing what else I should do.
"Breathe, baby, breathe. Don't die on me, Gina, please, I need you. Baby, I love you.
by: Melvin Spencer
Someone call nine-one-one, please; somebody help."
I looked up, anger and rage starting to over shadow the sadness and grief, and saw Tracy
and her new boyfriend pulling off. I reached for my hip, intent on seeking vengeance, but my
gun wasn't on me. My gun was locked in the glove box of my car. I pulled out the only thing I
did have on me, my phone, and called for an ambulance.
"Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?", the female operator answered.
"I need a medic, my fiancee is pregnant, and she's been shot!"
"Sir, is she still breathing?"
"Yeah, but she's coughing up blood; please get here fast."
"What's your location, sir?", the operator asked.
"I'm at the Majestic Condos, on Cherry Hill, just off of Inkster Road, condo number five.
Please hurry"
341
by: Melvin Spencer
Chapter 32
"Sir, you are gonna have to wait out here", the nurse instructed as they rushed Gina back
to surgery.
"That's my fiancée!"
"I understand that sir, but please let us do our job", she insisted as they disappeared
behind a pair of double doors.
I stood there helpless, with my face in my hands, crying for the love of my life. This was
all my fault. If! would've been faithful in the first place, none of this would've happened. But
here I am, and it's all my fault. How could I allow this to happen? How could I put Gina, the
love of my life, the one who's always been there for me, in danger like this? I swore that I
would kill that nigga, if it was the last thing I did.
I wanted to blame Tracy, but I couldn't, because it was my fault for getting involved with
her. Plus, she didn't pull the trigger. Ultimately, this is my fault, and the consequences for my
indiscretions are almost too much to bear.
'Pam, what's poppin'? How is she?", Brian asked as he, Twan, and TJ walked in to the
emergency room fifteen minutes after my arrival.
"She's in surgery right now. This shit is crazy, bro."
"You telling me, what happened?", TJ asked, and [broke the story down for them.
"Damn! That's some crazy soap opera shit", Twan noted.
"Word!", Brian agreed.
"It's all my fault", I sat down in the chair closest to me; my legs were weak, and I
couldn't support myself. "If I would've cut Tracy off, none of this would've happened."
by: Melvin Spencer
"Yo, you can't blame yourself for what they did", Twan said, putting his hand on my
shoulder.
"Look, Twan and TI, I need ya'll to go to Tracy's spot and see if that nigga's still there. I
sent the police on a wild goose chase, so they shouldn't be around there. I told them! didn't
know anything about the guy or Tracy. They're gonna find out that Tracy's on my list of
admitted visitors, but not right now. If they're there, you know what to do, ya feel me?"
"We got you", *11 assured me, and he and Twan left immediately.
"Brian, I need you to go to the spot and clean it out. I don't have work, but I need you to
empty those safes. It should be close to three million altogether", I gave Brian further
instructions.
"I got you. You goin' be good?", Brian asked.
Looking up, I saw Trice and Cherish walking towards us. "Yeah, I'll be good. Just
handle that for me."
As Brian made his exit, I hugged Trice. "Marvin, I'm so sorry. How is she?", Trice
asked while Cherish stood aloft with an inquisitive, yet frightened, look on her. face.
"She's in surgery; but it looks pretty bad", I said as tears flowed from my eyes.
Cherish walked to me and held me close, and I cried into her shoulder, knowing that I
had really fucked up this time. I told Cherish and Trice the story as best as I could, and as I was
recounting the story, Gina's mom walked in the entrance, moving frantically toward the front
desk, inquiring about her daughter. I managed to call out to her, and when she saw me she ran
over and we embraced.
"I'm so sorry", I cried. "I never meant for this to happen to her."
by: Melvin Spencer
"I know, Marvin; I know", she assured me, holding me tight.
We all sat around waiting. I was happy to have Cherish there with me, I needed her
strength and I needed her presence. Gina's mom prayed silently, while I paced back and forth
through the waiting area, beating myself up for being in this position. I was eager to see Gina,
yet I had to come to terms with the fact that it may not happen.
"Are you all the family of Gina Weights?", a man in a blood-stained scrub outfit asked.
"Yes sir. I'm her mother and this is my son-in-law", Gina's mom spoke up. "How is
she?"
"Well, we took the baby out, because we were afraid she wasn't getting enough oxygen.
You have a beautiful baby girl, sir", man looked at me and said. "She's in the maternity ward.
We have her hooked up to an oxygen machine."
"Why what's wrong with her?", I asked.
"It's just a precautionary measure; it helps her breathe better, but she should be fine. You
all can go up and she her."
"What about Gina, Doc? How is she?", I asked, eager to get some infonnation on her
condition.
"Gina is still in surgery. She has a collapsed lung. She would, ordinarily, have a good
chance at survival, but, as you know, she has a heart murmur."
I knew she had a hole in her heart, but she led me to believe that it was nothing, a mere
birth defect. "What does that mean, Doc?"
"Functioning on one lung is putting added stress on her heart, and I'm not sure if her
heart is strong enough to sustain her. We still have to go in and retrieve the bullet, and we hope
that will give her
344
by: Melvin Spencer
91
The doctor's explanation was interrupted by a call over the intercom. "Paging Doctor
Wyatt to surgery. Paging Doctor Wyatt to surgery", a woman's voice came, distorted, and the
doctor sprinted away.
We all went up to the maternity ward to see Nijialyn. We rode the elevator, in relative
silence, up to the seventh floor. The ward was a sterile white, with shades of pink and blue,
symbolizing male and female, throughout the ward.
"I'm looking for a baby girl, born to Gina Weights", I asked plump female nurse on duty.
"And you are, sir?"
"I'm the father, Marvin Williams, and this is Gina's mother, the baby's grandmother."
"Right this way, sir", she lead us to a glass window that looked into a room full of
newborns. "We can't allow you to go in right now, but I'll bring her over to the glass so you can
see her."
I watched as one of the nurses that was working inside the room went over to Nijialyn's
rollaway, see-through, crib, and pushed the tiny crib toward the window so that we could get a
clear view of the beautiful little girl that Gina and I had conceived. She looked so much like
Gina. Tears flowed again, mixed tears of joy and sadness. I was happy to be a father, yet it
saddens me that Gina couldn't be there to see her daughter.
"Mommy's gonna be here soon to see you, baby girl", I said through the window, not
really sure of my statement.
"She's so beautiful, Marvin", Cherish said, standing beside me.
I was speechless.
345
by: Melvin Spencer
"Nijialyn Laycole Williams", Gina's mom said, smiling at me, and I nodded my head in
confirmation, knowing that's what Gina wanted.
"She's so tiny", Trice said, looking on in admiration. "I wanted a girl."
"Yeah, that's daddy's baby", I said as my phone started to ring.
"Yeah, that's Granny's little girl", Gina's mom cooed as I moved down the hall to answer
the phone.
"What's poppin'?"
"Where ya'll at? Me and momma down here in the lobby, and the nurses are so damn
clueless", Tone asked.
"We on the fifth floor, with the baby. Come on up", I said before ending the call.
Cherish and Trice looked at me questioningly. "My mom and my brother, they're on their way
up." I was headed back to the window to look at my daughter, I couldn't stop looking at her,
when my phone rang again. "What up?", I answered.
"Yo, she's dead", Twan said on the other end of the phone.
I moved back down the hall for privacy. "Who's dead?"
"Tracy; she's dead."
"What do you mean she's dead?", I asked in disbelief.
"When we got to her apartment, the door was unlocked, and we found Tracy laying on
the bed with an empty pill bottle next to her. She overdosed, bro. I'm sorry man."
My heart sunk within me Tears crept to the corner of my eyes, and I couldn't understand
why all this shit was happened to me. I tried to regain my composure, knowing that I had to deal
with this shit, but I also had to be strong for Nijialyn and Gina.
by: Melvin Spencer
"Where is the nigga at?", I asked wiping away my tears.
"It was just her, fam. He must've already left. We on our way back to the hospital right
now."
"Alright, bro. Good looking. I gotta call Brian."
"Aight."
I ended the cal with Twan and called Brian.
He answered on third ring. "What up doe?"
"Did you clean out the safe?"
"Yeah, I dropped it off at my mom's; I put it in my old room, for now."
"Aight, cool. Good looking, bro."
"I'm on my way back to you now."
Brian hung up on me, and I stood there gripping the phone, gripped with despair. This
shit is all my fault. Gina getting shot, Tracy killing herself, which I didn't see coming at all, but
I guess the guilt and everything got to her, I could understand the pain see was feeling because I
felt the same way. This was all too much for one man to handle.
I looked at Nijialyn, and then at my family who had arrived on the ward and were now
making googly face at the baby. I was putting them through too much, all because I was being
selfish. I tried to love two women the best I knew how, but my best wasn't good enough to save
Tracy, and my best had left Gina in critical condition.
"I'm going to get some air", I said walking pass all of Nijialyn's admirers.
No one seemed to be paying attention, so I made my way to the elevator, my head low
and my heart hurting. I pressed the button that would take me back down to the ground floor,
and just as the elevator door was about to close, I saw an arm stop the door from fully shutting.
When the doors came back open, Cherish was standing there.
"Would you like some company?", she asked.
I nodded, unable to speak, but I was happy to have her along with me, afraid to be by
myself at that moment. We were quiet the whole time, but her presence was all I required, and
she was there for me. I sparked a cigarette, a bad habit that I needed to quit, I thought to myself.
"You know, those aren't good for you", Cherish said, making an attempt to start a
conversation.
"I was just thinking that."
"You should quit."
"Maybe."
"Marvin....", she started, but she couldn't find her words.
"Tae's dead, that's on me", I confessed. "Gina got shot, that's on me; Tracy's dead that's
on me", I said through tears.
"What happened to Tracy?", Cherish asked, surprised at the news; I had forgotten that I
hadn't told anyone.
"Apparently, she overdosed on some prescription pills; and it's all my fault."
"Marvin, we all make mistakes, and we all make choices and decisions that affect us and
others in negative ways, but you have to learn from these situations; you can't let this break you.
Rectify the situation, if possible, but if nothing can be done, you have to move on. You have to
be strong for Nijialyn, and especially for Gina. I know you loved Tae and Tracy, but at the end
of the day, what's done is done. You are a strong person, and you family needs you to be that
by: Melvin Spencer
person", Cherish said looking me in my eyes.
"I'm hurting so much right now, I don't know if I can be that person, Boo Boo."
"You are that person, and no person, situation, or circumstance can change that. You just
have to make sure that you don't allow those things to snuff that strong person out."
"Look at the pain that I've caused. People are hurting because of my choices, because of
my decisions. How am I supposed to go on and be strong with that burden on my shoulders?
Weighing me down?"
She held my face in her hand. "You don't have to shoulder that burden alone. I'm here
for you; I will help you through this. That little girl and her mother needs you to be that person
you were for Tae when he got shot, for Tracy when she needed someone to love her, for me
when I needed you, and so many others. You have created something special and beautiful, and
she deserves that strong and loving father, and you need to be that for her.
"Do you remember what you told me? We can't always shy away from our problems and
responsibilities; sometimes you have to face them head on. Now is that time, and just like you
helped me, I'm going to help you. Just like you were there for me, I will be there for you." She
pulled me close and held me tight, kissing me on my forehead. "I love you Marvin, and I'll
always be here for you, and I know you'll do the same."
I stood there beside Cherish, letting the crisp air soothe me and calm me down. The stars
were out in full force, and the light they gave off gave me hope that everything would somehow
be alright. A hope that we'll somehow get through.
"They're beautiful, aren't they?", Cherish asked when she caught me gazing.
"Their light is so radiant, and the way they sit up there makes everything up there seem
so peaceful. I often wish that things were the same down here; calm, cool, and collected. You
know what I mean?", I said rambling, not really sure if I knew what I meant. Cherish watched
me as I watched the stars. "You know, Boo Boo; all my life I've tried to make sure that
everyone around me was happy and taken care of. The moment I start to get a little taste of
happiness for myself, my world comes crashing down around me. Shit like this is the reason
why I didn't pursue you the way I wanted to, because in the end, it hurts too much."
Brian, Twat', and TJ walked up; I kept mY head to the sky, the only semblance of peace
that I'd found so far. Brain spoke.
"Bro, I know this is a hard time for you right now, but you have a lot of people counting
on you, my nigga. We're gonna get through this. Don't let the dream die."
"Dream?!!! Dream?!!! Bro, this is a fucking nightmare! Tracy's dead, Tae's dead,
Gina's in there fighting for her life. Just wake me up, bro. Just wake me up."
"Yo, bro, you got a lot to be thankful for. You have a healthy baby girl, family, and real
friends that all love you. Plus, you gotta girl in there fighting to spend the rest of her life with
you, and....", Twan was interrupted by Gina's mother calling out to me.
"Marvin!", I could hear the tears getting caught in her throat, altering her speech. You
might want to get in here."
"Why? Is Nijialyn okay?", I asked, standing up, speed walking towards her.
When I got to her, she fell into my arms. "It's Gina.....my baby
she's gone
If
by: Melvin Spencer
You Win Some... .You Lose Some This Book is Dedicated to:
First and foremost, to God. Even though we haven't always saw eye to eye, I'm
beginning to see Your purpose in my life. I pray that You continue Your work within me.
To my beautiful daughter, Nijialyn Laycole Spencer. You are the inspiration behind all
of my endeavors, and without you to inspire me, I wouldn't be at this space in my life. Although
I'm not there right now, I pray that you see and view my work as a way of expressing my love
towards you.
To Gina Lynn. I pray that you can forgive me for all of my faults and flaws, and
understand that without everything we've been through I wouldn't have been able to grow
beyond the person I was to get to the person I'm becoming, and therefore this book wouldn't
have been possible. You are a blessing to me, and I just pray that in some way, someday, I can
return the favor.
To Cherish Reshae Taylor. You means so much to me, and you inspire me to be great,
praying that one day I can be great for you. Whatever the future holds for us, I pray that
happiness supersedes any and everything else. May all your dreams come true.
To all my Brother (Past and Present). You all have kept me and protected me in my
times of hardship and tribulation, and for that I'm forever in your debt. I love you all!!!!!
To my Mothers (Foster, Surrogates, Adoptive, and Maternal). You have inspired me to
be great, whether it was positive or negative reinforcement; whether it was by your presence or
your absence. I still love you, always will.
To all the Tracy's who've played roles in my life. Life has a funny way of bringing us
together, but no matter what, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Although I can
honest say that I love you, I pray that we learn the lesson that I'm beginning to grasp a hold of:
Don't hold on to something that isn't yours to keep.
To everyone who has proofread my manuscript and encouraged me and given me
suggestions and advice, thank you so much, you have motivated me to see this project through.
To my advisors and those who have counseled throughout the years. I know without you
all I would have self-destructed, and my voice would have been shut up forever. Thank you all
for hearing me out and giving me the voice to speak to nations.

You Win Some...You Lose Some

Transcription

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