The Complete Leader Handbook-05

Transcription

“THE COMPLETE LEADER”
RESOURCE HANDBOOK
USING WHAT WE GOT TO
GIVE THEM WHAT THEY NEED
Compiled by Darren Shelburne
& Nate Cox @ 2002
Revised by Darren Shelburne @ 2005
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
I. FOREWORD -- 3
II. MISSION & VISION -- 4
A. MISSION, VISION, AND PHILOSOPHY -- 4
B. LEADER EXPECTATIONS -- 5
III. CONTACT WORK -- 7
A. HOW DO I DO IT? -- 7
B. TYPES AND LEVELS -- 7
C. BEFORE YOU GO -- 8
D. GENERAL GUIDELINES -- 9
E. WAYS TO MAKE CONTACT -- 10
F. MAKE IT A LIFESTYLE -- 11
IV. MUSIC -- 12
A. PRINCIPLES FOR USING MUSIC IN CLUB -- 12
B. LEADING SONGS UP FRONT -- 12
V. GAMES, SKITS, AND MIXERS -- 14
A. PHILOSOPHY ON GAMES AND SKITS -- 14
B. BIG GROUP GAMES -- 17
C. MIXERS -- 20
D. MINUTES -- 34
E. SKITS -- 74
F. RUN-ONS -- 120
G. MELODRAMAS -- 128
H. OTHER CLUB IDEAS -- 133
VI. CLUB TALKS -- 136
A. TALK PREPARATION -- 136
B. CREATING THE TALK -- 136
C. 10 POINTS ON PREPARATION -- 138
D. TALK WORKSHEET -- 139
E. TALK OUTLINES -- 140
F. ILLUSTRATIONS – 148
VII. RESOURCES -- 314
A. YOUTH MINISTRY WEBSITES -- 314
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I. FOREWORD
This resource was compiled for the person who has volunteered his/her time to reach
teens for Christ through the ministry of YOUNG LIFE. The compilers realize you need a
resource guide and a handbook that you can look to for ministry vision and philosophy,
as well as skits and games for next week’s club.
It is our prayer that this handbook instills vision in you and assists you at drawing teens
to Christ. Remember, in the words of Young Life’s founder, Jim Rayburn, “it’s a sin to
bore a kid”.
Every Kid, Everywhere, For Eternity!
Happy resourcing.
Darren & Nate
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II. MISSION / VISION
VISION, MISSION, AND PHILOSOPHY
OUR VISION
Every adolescent will have the opportunity to meet Jesus Christ and follow Him.
OUR MISSION
Introducing adolescents to Jesus Christ and helping them grow through a
culturally-acceptable & effective vehicle.
We accomplish this mission by…
1. praying for young people
2. going where young people are
3. building personal relationships with them
4. winning the right to be heard
5. providing experiences that are fun, adventurous, and life changing
6. sharing our lives and the Good News of Jesus Christ with adolescents
7. inviting them to personally respond to this Good News
8. loving them regardless of their response
9. nurturing young people so they might grow in their love for Christ and the knowledge
of God’s word and become people who can share their faith with others
10. helping young people develop the skills, assets, and attitudes to reach their full Godgiven potential
11. encouraging young people to live connected to the Body of Christ by being an active
member of a local congregation
12. working with a team of like-minded individuals – cadets leaders, adult team
members, donors, and staff
OUR VALUES
1. Living according to and communicating the whole Gospel of Jesus Christ.
2. Carrying out our mission under the authority of Scripture and relying on the Holy
Spirit to empower our ministry.
3. Encouraging the welfare and spiritual health of those who do this ministry, that they
may minister out of a consistent and growing relationship with Christ and His
followers.
4. Researching and developing innovative approaches to reaching uncommitted,
disinterested young people.
5. Reaching adolescents of all social, cultural, economic, and ethnic backgrounds.
6. Working with followers of Christ from a variety of traditions and local churches.
7. Welcoming all those whom God calls to our mission, men and women of all races,
staff, and volunteers who are linked to a common purpose of introducing adolescents
to Jesus Christ.
8. Observing the highest standards of stewardship of all the resources placed in our
trust.
PHILOSOPHY OF MINISTRY
(Why do we do what we do?)
1 Thessalonians 2:8
“Because we loved you, we were happy to share not only God’s good news with you, but even
our own lives. You had become so dear to us”.
We are a relational ministry. People change people: Programs do not change people.
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LEADER EXPECTATIONS
In case you had forgotten what was in the application when you signed onto this, here is
a reminder to keep your commitment fresh.
Purpose: To present the Gospel of Jesus Christ incarnationally to young people within our
community, so that they may have the opportunity to know Jesus, respond to Him, and spiritually
mature.
Job Title: Volunteer Leader
Relationships:
* Is supervised by the Area Director
* Will work closely with a cadet leadership team
* Will have personal friendships with young people
Responsibilities:
* Attend weekly club meetings and leadership meetings
* Do contact work twice a week (phone calls, sports games, band recitals, etc...)
* Go on weekend retreats or special events during the year (this is crucial)
* Pray for the kids, leaders, and the mission of the ministry
Time Requirement (7-10 hours weekly):
* Club meetings
* Leadership meetings
* Contact work
* Campaigners
Training and Support Provided:
* You will be trained by the Area Director
* You will be required to attend local training seminars twice a year
* You will have weekly fellowship with other leadership team members
* You will be challenged to grow spiritually
Qualifications and Special Skills:
* Mature & growing Christian
* Ability to communicate with kids
* Willingness to be trained, open to learning
* Involved in a church regularly
WHAT WE EXPECT FROM OUR LEADERS:
1. We expect you to understand your responsibility as a Christian role model,
which means you will model Christ in all areas of your life, whether among youth,
peers, or colleagues.
a. Your words will be above reproach
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come from your
mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
b. Refrain from course jokes, crude remarks, and cutting sarcasm.
c. Think twice about what movies you watch. Check out the movie first by
reading reviews if it’s rated R. Teens ask what movies you watch and we
don’t condone most content in rated R movies. Remember you are defining
life for these young people.
d. Model Jesus in your personal relationships. It is our belief that if you are
modeling Jesus in all areas of your life, then you will be an effective leader to
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2.
of
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young people. But if your friends cannot see evidence of Christ in your dayto-day life, then youth won’t either.
e. Be careful not to over-commit to too many extra-curricular activities.
We are not interested in leaders who are spreading themselves too thin. You
will render yourself ineffective as a leader. In other words, you are
committing to do the things you say you will do and prioritize your life
accordingly.
We expect you to be extremely careful/sensitive to ministry situations with teens
the opposite sex.
a. You need to be very careful to avoid being completely alone with a teen of
the opposite sex.
b. You need to realize the sensitivity of counseling youth of the opposite
gender. Some teens can become emotionally attached to adults of the
opposite sex that take an interest in them. Infatuation is not conducive to
counseling. Just be careful.
c. You should refrain from unnecessary physical contact with teens of the
opposite sex (constant hugging, excessive patting or touching, backrubs,
etc…) and inappropriate or excessive contact with same sex teens.
However, we know that some teens initiate hugging. There are appropriate
ways to hug, which we can discuss at a later time.
d. You will in no situation, whatsoever, attempt to date youth in the group.
There are no exceptions to this rule!
*Please understand that accountability is the most important ingredient to
handling these situations. So, if you find yourself in one of these situations, don’t
panic, you’re not gonna be fired. Just inform the Area Director about it and we
can go from there.
We expect you to be a regular participant in a church service. This is for three
purposes: 1. To grow in your relationship with God; 2. To be an example to the teens;
3. To provide a natural place of invitation for young people who desire to seek further
fellowship. If an adolescent asks you where you attend church and you say you don’t
attend, then you would be teaching them to be independent of Christian fellowship.
That’s wrong and that’s not what we’re about!
We expect you to work on your own calling in Christ by the leading of the Holy
Spirit and dependence on your new life in Christ. What is Christ calling you to do
with your life and how will this ministry form that calling? Think intentionally about
your future with God.
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III. CONTACT WORK
How Do I Do It?
Contact work is modeled after the approach of Christ.
Jesus spent His earthly ministry looking for and connecting with the lost and hurting. His life
set the standard for how we should reach teenagers through the ministry of MCYM — up
close and personal.
Every leader will have their own techniques for doing contact work based on who they are
and what their kids enjoy. Our general ideas and tips are designed to help along the way.
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Types and Levels of Contact Work
Before You Go
General Guidelines for the Process
Ways to Make Contact
Tom Hammon, senior regional director in the YL Mid-East Region, has this to say about this
basic ministry tool of MCYM:
“There are an enormous number of Christian programs that say, ‘Come to us.
’Contact work puts the leader out there with kids. It puts flesh on the Gospel. It’s the
most authentic you can get — the life of a person who goes into the world of lost
kids.”
Types and Levels
Two Types of Contact Work
As a staff member or leader, you are always doing one of these two types of contact work:
1. Direct. You are actually with the teenagers, hanging out with them one (or more)-onone. You are physically with them.
2. Indirect. You have contact via phone, e-mail or letters. You are keeping in touch, but
not face-to-face.
Three Levels of Contact Work
The Direct and Indirect types of contact work can take place in each level:
1. Face Time. This is the “see and be seen” level of contact work. For example, as you
walk through the high school halls or sit at a game or practice, the kids see you and
you see them. You are making your presence known. You have a face-to-face
relationship. You have learned their name or can recognize them, but you have not
had a significant conversation.
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2. Acquaintance. Here is where you become casual friends. This is moving into light
conversation with a teenager. She is comfortable enough, having “seen you around,”
to tell you the basics. This is mostly small talk — their grade, interests, friends. The
beginning elements of trust and acceptance form here. They are starting to see you
as part of their circle.
3. Trust. At this level, you would call each other friends. You have become someone
they can call and hang out with, and vice versa. You have had a significant versation
with them and gone deeper than the surface. You have invested time with them or
helped them in an area of their life. This is where you give advice, do problemsolving, meet a need. You share a meal, laugh and pray. This level is where kids
come to know Christ.
Before You Go
Contact work can be spontaneous, but the method and philosophy are intentional and
purposeful. Your contact work goals are something to be considered and prayed through
before you head out to find your friends.
Align Your Actions with Your Goals
What are your intentions?
1. Why am I doing contact work at this particular place, or in this particular way, today?
2. What do I expect to accomplish? Who am I trying to see and talk to?
3. What is my goal for contact work today?
Want to develop new acquaintances?
Go where there are lots of kids. Try:
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Before or after school
Practices
Sports events (varsity and JV; guys and girls)
School play, band, choir concert
Pickup basketball games
Pep rallies, special events at school
Mall or other gathering places and hang outs
Places they are likely to work (movie theater, coffee shop, retail)
Any kid, any time. Whether it's the kid bagging your groceries or taking a movie ticket
... talk to them ... Matthew 28:16-20 in action.
Want to move into deeper levels of friendship?
Your attention should be focused on one or just a few kids. More than anything else, the goal
is to be with them, getting to know them, caring for them and building the bridge of friendship.
Where you go and what you do is secondary. The important thing is spending time together.
Use our list of things to do to give you some ideas for activities.
Remember the Ultimate Goal
There are a million things that can be considered contact work, but the overriding factor is to
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allow kids to be a part of our lives, and share with them the life-saving message of Jesus
Christ.
General Guidelines
Contact Work Guidelines
1. Begin with your own prayer life (and that of your support group). You cannot be
successful without connection to God and a desire that His will be done.
2. Go where the kids are.
3. Learn names. Use whatever helps you: notebook, yearbook, etc.
4. Pray for opportunities. Ask God to give you a sincere interest in the teenagers in
your area.
5. Use mutual interests as stepping stones (music, sports, etc.). This isn’t about you,
so focus on their accomplishments.
6. Be yourself. Kids can spot a fake a mile away. Allow your own personality and gifts
to draw kids.
7. Don't talk about yourself too much.
8. Strive to be an expert on your school by subscribing to the school newspaper and
get a copy of the school yearbook. Study them to catch up on campus events and to
learn names and faces.
9. Don’t play favorites. Seek to gain friendships with all types of kids. Show attention
not only to the leaders and the easily lovable, but to the followers and the “unlovable”
as well.
10. Be a genuine friend. Don’t just promote your meeting.
11. Be available. Strive for the reputation of always having time to talk and be sincere in
your willingness to do this.
12. Spend time wisely. Quality over quantity.
13. You are an adult leader. Don’t put yourself on a kid’s level.
14. Be a servant. This doesn’t mean buy a kid’s friendship, but be willing to serve and
do things to show you really care.
15. Keep an up-to-date record of significant contacts. This will help you get to know
kids and be on top of things when you see them.
16. Enthusiasm and cheerfulness are contagious, but be genuine.
17. Be a person of integrity. Be above reproach in your behavior. Opposite sex leader
and kid should never spend time alone.
18. Remember that contact work is never finished. There are always new kids to get
to know. Faithfully pursuing their friendship is what “wins the right to be heard” for
our message of the Good News.
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Ways to Make Contact
Things to Do
While the following list is long, it is not exhaustive. Use it to help you generate your own
ideas for how to find and spend time with kids.
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Run with the cross country team in the morning or football team at night
Be a substitute teacher or do after-school tutoring
Take a group of guys hunting
Play flag football
Plan sleepovers (works better with girls)
Have a hair dying party (with parental permission)
Attend varsity and JV high school games
Take kids camping
Take kids out for a Coke
Go to a movie togther
Attend the high school theater department’s productions
Play football, frisbee, tennis, golf, basketball … with them
Do a "kidnap" breakfast
Have a cookout
Go to the fair (school or state)
Help decorate for homecoming, prom or pep rallies
Help kids with their homework
Chaperone a school trip
Help coach a sport
Take your boyfriend or girlfriend and a kid "couple" out on a double date
Go to a professional baseball, football, basketball, hockey game
Drive kids places as their “chauffeur for a day”
Go swimming
Go cross-country bicycling, skiing
Go rock climbing, hiking, camping
Play miniature golf
Let a kid teach you a new sport
Play tennis, handball, racquetball
Go bowling
Go skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing, sailing
Go on a fishing trip with a kid
Have a scavenger hunt
Have a pizza eating contest
Have a "board game night"
Invite kids to your house
Go shopping with kids – thrift stores are fun
Cook them a meal
Have a camp reunion
Put on an after-prom "breakfast"
Go to the zoo, amusement park, national park, tourist place
Volunteer at a charity, soup kitchen, orphanage
Take them to church
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Take them to breakfast, lunch or dinner
Hang out at a coffee shop together
Go to a concert featuring local bands, maybe even some of your high school friends
Bring kids into your home – let them share a meal with your family
Find out what they like to do and go do it with them.
Make It a Lifestyle
Don’t limit your contact work to midday chats over ham sandwiches in
the school cafeteria. Open your eyes and look past the boundaries of
your campus and familiar kids. Put on that Young Life T-shirt and
move your efforts at contact work into your community. Ask God to
bring you the teenagers, and He will.
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Pray first. As you move through the day, it will amaze you
how God will allow you to see hurting teenagers and give you
the courage to reach out to them.
Change your perspective. As you watch the kid bag your
milk and bread, think of yourself as a servant to him. How can
you help him today? Become truly interested in his life for this
moment in time. It could make an eternal difference.
Take the focus off you. Initiate conversation, and then do
something to draw them in.
“What school do you go to?”
“Are you going to the game on Friday?”
“Who won homecoming?”
“How much longer till graduation?”
Don’t scare them off by getting too personal at first, but over
time, as the walls come down, you can sense the Holy Spirit
opening doors for you to walk through.
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Move into the more thoughtful questions. This is taking the
conversation one step further. Begin your queries with
phrases like,
“What do you think about ...?”
“Tell me about …”
“How do you like …?”
These suggestions shouldn’t all be used at your first encounter. As
you make your weekly trips to the grocery store, for instance, continue
to be friendly to the kids working the check-out stand or stocking the
green beans on aisle 5. You will eventually earn the right to be heard,
and a relationship will begin to grow.
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IV. MUSIC
Principles for Using Music in Club
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The song leader has the greatest influence on the successful use of music in
club. A good song leader commands attention and encourages the group.
Music is a part of the proclamation of the Gospel, and all types of music can be
used to build upon and enhance the message.
Using secular music in club is a way to identify with non-Christian kids. It can
be used to draw in hard-to-reach kids. Yet, contemporary music does not in and of
itself “earn the right” with kids.
Music can have the biggest effect on the overall atmosphere and feel of the club
meeting. Use a natural flow of music from energetic to reflective over the course of
the club to prepare kids for the spoken message.
Music can unify the group. It literally gets everyone on the same page.
There should be a reason for every song that is used it club. Is the leader trying to
create excitement, emphasize a message, have fun, etc.?
If you have doubts about whether or not to use a song, seek the advice of a senior
staff person (i.e. regional director, camp director).
If a song is deemed offensive to a kid or fellow leader, don’t use it. There are
plenty of songs available to use. Music can be considered offensive because of its
lyrical content or its association with a video or a performer. The success of music in
club is never tied to the use of a particular song.
When planning music at summer camp, consider getting input from the areas
coming to camp.
There is a difference between leading worship at church or campaigners and
leading songs in a Young Life club. Don’t confuse the two. Just as the speaker
should take the attitude of a teacher instead of a preacher, so a song leader should
ask kids to consider the lyrics and not assume that they already believe.
Always take the time to teach and model new songs or hand motions.
Abiding by the policy on copyrights demonstrates integrity in our ministry.
Leading Songs Up Front
You do not need a great voice ...
... or even the ability to carry a tune to lead songs. You do need some sense of rhythm and
a ton of enthusiasm.
If you are going to lead singing for club and you are not playing an instrument, it is very
important to practice with your musicians before club. You both need to know how to start
and end your songs as well as any special motions or claps during a song. Mix some new
songs with the old favorites. Teaching new songs can be done easily by following our
suggestions.
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Principles for Effective Song Leading
1. The song leader should begin club with some sort of “drill” to get kids following
him or her, like hand clapping. Make sure there is no dead time between songs.
2. Use your hands and body language to lead the song. Model enthusiasm!
Assume kids don’t know the song and need to be led in how to sing it.
3. Think through how to creatively lead each song — what kind of claps to
incorporate, separate guys and girls parts, get loud or soft on certain verses,
pacing.
4. Practice with the musicians so they know how you want to sing it.
5. Choose songs that aid the desired mood at different points during club. The
content of the songs should match the content of that night’s message.
6. Quit singing when they still want more — don’t overdo it!
A Good Song Leader...
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Knows when to start and end a song
Keeps the beat — initiates clapping
Encourages those who are singing
Relies on enthusiasm more than vocal talent
Has fun with the group
Tips and Suggestions
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Everything rises and falls on leadership.
It's not so much the song you sing, but how you sing the song.
Engage the audience — use face, hands, body and enthusiasm.
Every song needs ONE leader.
Match the music to the message. Sing a song about the cross when the message
is about the cross
Use current music wisely. Look for songs that are neutral or positive in
content. Never use songs that are negative or overtly sexual in nature. There are
only a few good songs that are great for club every year and are "keepers"
Build a repertoire — use a planner. Repeat songs in a regular fashion. If you use
seven songs one week, repeat three or four of those songs the following week. Do
the same the next week and so on. Over a year you may use 50 songs. Don't
change the song list in its entirety each week. You need to repeat songs to create
favorites and help improve singing in club.
Utilize specialists. Feel free to use adults who may just do music and nothing
else. Involve mature kids in club and watch them grow to become leaders. Once
kids see other kids playing guitar up front, they will begin to think it's an option for
themselves.
In general, aim music at the furthest-out kids. Playing “Amazing Grace” at the
first club is probably not a good idea. Just as we win the right to be heard in
relationships and as the content of our club talks progresses, so it is with our music.
Near the end of the semester, the content level of the songs can become more
spiritually focused along with the content of club talks.
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V. GAMES, SKITS, MIXERS
PHILOSOPHY ON
MIXERS, MINUTES, SKITS and RUN-ONS
In YOUNG LIFE we are always talking about Jesus, and we are usually laughing about something.
Humor is almost always surprise or situational. It’s either a punch line that is unexpected or it’s
watching and listening to a situation that the comedienne makes funny by her action. Almost all
humor is a combination of surprises and situations that make us laugh. The funny person
understands how long to string along the situation of humor and when to surprise us.
You can add all kinds of other ideas to what humor is. It contains contrast, absurdity,
grotesqueness and the situational humor. Even if we know what the common elements of humor
are we might still miss the most important idea. What’s important is just being funny at the right
time. Timing is everything.
We have designed this collection of ideas for anyone interested in using Mixers, Minutes, Skits
and Run-ons (along with other random ideas in youth ministry). In our experience working with
students through YOUNG LIFE, we have found these ideas to be successful in helping to
accomplish our goals in a YOUNG LIFE setting. It is our hope to minimize the planning and
certainly any last minutes rush to "find something for tonight’s club." It’s our opinion that those
times are completely unnecessary, and leadership meetings can be used for much better
purposes.
Important Principles For Mixers, Minutes, Skits and Run-ons In Club
1. Remember who our target kid is; the cynical non-Christian, uninterested farthest out kid in the
back of the room. Will this mixer, minutes, skit or run-on dispel his preconceived notions of
Christians or confirm them?
2. Walk through the activity in your mind before club. Visualize it (what do you want to see, hear,
smell, touch, feel like, atmosphere, etc.). What will I need? (ie. Do I need a drop cloth, someone
to hit lights, someone to set up props while I explain it? Towels for them to clean up with?) How
should I stage this so the most people can see the punch line? What do I need to prevent? How?
When the skit is over, what will need to happen to lead into the next part of club?
3. Be 10 times more enthusiastic than you want your kids to be. They are risking a lot by being up
front, so we have to really take them into the activity, not push them into it.
4. Background music always draws in kids more. Loud and rockin’ helps. Also, leaders, student
leaders, and campaigner kids must scream and cheer for everything. One of the greatest things
we can do for a kid is to get a bunch of their schoolmates cheering wildly for them. For most it
would be a first and possibly a last at this experience. Get people to cheer!
5. Kids are more into visual, obvious humor (slapstick, for example) than clever stuff. Big
uniforms, exaggeration, action, screaming, craziness will go much farther than quips, puns, and
subtle looks. Think big humor that’s hard to miss.
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6. When you take a kid out of the room, give them a pep talk (therefore whoever takes them out
of the room is just as important as the person running the minutes!). It’s scary and they need to
know:
a. We aren’t just going to humiliate you.
b. If you ham it up, you’re the star and everyone has fun.
c. We’re doing this to have fun with you.
7. Laughing at us as leaders is one of our strengths in CLUB. Kids don’t laugh belly laughs much
in their life and just burning a kid every week makes it scary for kids. Give them a chance to have
wild fun.
8. Always take care of kids. Look for opportunities to talk about how great they were up front. Talk
about it to start your club talk. Stop during songs and have them cheer again. Write the kids a
note and mail it the next day. Find them after club and thank them again. All this takes work, yet it
builds the atmosphere for great humor in the future.
9. You can probably take any of these ideas and make them even better.
10. Some minutes can be repeated and possibly done yearly.
These minutes must be built into a tradition that kids look forward to each year. Literally, we want
kids to be begging to have a chance to participate in them before they even happen. To help build
the tradition, take some time to make running "trophies" silly and appropriate to the game in
which kids get their names put on them (they also may be paraded in the sell). Every kid wants to
have their name in a trophy case and leave their mark even after they are gone. It may even help
to make one they can take and keep on a shelf to remind them of the outrageous thing they did in
front of their friends. Always emphasizing "winning is everything, but losing means nothing", you
may even set up senior reigning champs to hand their crown to the next generation. Obviously
the goal of these is not to have every week’s minutes be a repeat of last year, but a few that you
find to be winners will allow you to spread out your minutes with punch lines for better use.
11. Our main goal is not to be funny, but to be Godly.
12. You don’t need to be funny to be a leader, but you do have to have fun.
13. Humor is the difference between our aspirations and our achievements. The greater the
disparity between the two, the greater the humor. In short, humor is one way to get people to deal
with their failure and furthermore, their sin.
14. Always keep your priority: people over program.
15. People you laugh with, and cry with are the people you remember most.
16. We come to Christ as little kids…kids are too grown up today. It is our job to help them be
little kids again.
17. People aren’t laughing anymore…and yet laughter is medically proven to help people.
18. Know where you are taking them, why you are taking them and how you will get them there.
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19. When we laugh at ourselves we quit being defensive.
20. The bottom line is that we need to know that we are loved and are wonderful. How can we
best show kids that in our humor.
21. You must be willing to fail. Humor is risk…if you fail, simply teach them how to fail in the
process.
22. We as followers of Jesus Christ have the most reason to laugh of anyone in the world!
23. May we always be in the mindset of making kids heroes, not goats.
24. Much of good humor has been lost, the reason is: it takes more work to do it the right way.
We must be willing to go the extra mile and to do that we must be convinced of its worth.
25. Be wholesome. You don’t have to be gross or nasty to be funny.
26. Don’t involve the same kids every week. Mix it up.
27. Everything takes work! Put in the extra effort! Plan out mixers, minutes, skits and run-ons for
the whole semester. Have different people in charge of them throughout the semester.
28. Think about everything before the day of club! Creativity takes time!
Warning - Read this before doing any of the following.
Obviously we must choose wisely which kids are up front; however, when it is a minutes with a
"punch line" ending, we must select with prayerful wisdom. Often, we have done these minutes
so poorly in the past that kids dread with fear being up front. That is because we might make
them look stupid, in front of their friends. We must become masters at thinking through how these
kids can be made heroes, legends talked about in a positive way the next day at school. It is a
great lesson to learn to laugh at our own selves. First, make sure you and other leaders at times
get it in the end, and second, you may even consider pulling a sharp kid aside and let him in on it
so he/she is a part of the gag. Obviously it will be best if no one knows they were in on it, yet it
may be worth it once or twice if you even explain why and how you want them to respond for
future people. Every kid likes to be in on a secret. Also, continually lift them up after it is over and
even thank them again with crowd applause for being so great before you start your talk. Another
great idea is to get a note to them in the mail after club thanking them for being great sports, or at
least find them after club to make sure they are doing okay with the outcome.
Oftentimes people frown at competition as if it is evil. Instead, we need to teach kids how to
compete in fun and Godly manner. Many times competition is the only way to pull a crass, pagan
kid into what we are trying to do; likewise, many kids have only had bad examples of competition
growing up (How many times have we all seen parents be bigger idiots about winning and losing
than kids!). We have a great opportunity to teach many things to kids through this tool. We may
even end up modeling success in failure. The story of The Gospel itself is our failure and God’s
grace. We must teach campaigner and student leader kids to cheer for everybody. We must lift
up the kids and teams that lose for being so awesome to take the risk and play. We must teach
them that losing is not life and death and that we all are in this together. Find some funny lines
like "winning is everything, but losing is nothing" and "it’s not whether you won or lost, but how
good you looked doing it... and you looked the best" to keep things in perspective. These
activities are often designed to pull kids in to just have some plain, old, crazy, off the wall fun!
God created, and loves, laughter and fun!
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Big Group Games
1. Spin Around The Bat Big Group Game
Divide your group into teams. Each team gets a baseball bat that is placed on one end of the playing area, with the
team lined up at the other end. The object of this relay is for each team member to run to the bat, put his forehead on
the bat (in a vertical position) and run around the bat ten times while in that position. He then returns to the team,
usually so dizzy that getting back to the team is a difficult and fun to watch experience.
2. Tug Of War Big Group Game
Break up into teams and play tug of war. A rope that is tied together into a circle works great too.
3. Mattress Race Big Group Game
4. Savage Women Big Group Game
All of the guys get inside a circle, sit down, and huddle together in any position and lock arms and legs. The girls
attempt to pull the guys out of the circle any way they can. The guys try to stay in. The last guy to remain in the circle is
the winner. Guys cannot fight the girls…all they are allowed to do is hang on and try to stay in.
5. Pull-up Big Group Game
Everyone sits and forms a circle facing the middle, except for 5 boys and 5 girls who start the game (They are in the
middle, standing). At a whistle the 10 boys and girls in the center run to the people sitting and "pull-up" a person of the
opposite sex, by taking their hands and pulling them up. The first person takes their place on the ground. The second
person then runs to the other side of the circle, and does the same to someone else of the opposite sex, and so on.
This continues for one minute, the whistle blows, and everyone stops where they are. The boys and girls left standing
are counted. If there are 2 more girls than boys, the boys get 2 points, and the game goes on. Every time a minute
goes by, the whistle blows and those standing are counted. The idea is sort of a random "musical chairs", boys against
the girls. The team with the least left standing each time wins.
6. New Volleyball Big Group Game
Here is a great new way to play the old game of volleyball. New Volleyball can be played on a regular volleyball court
with the normal amount of players on each team. A regular volleyball is used as well. The main difference is the
scoring.
Playing: The object of the game is for a team to volley the ball as many times as possible without missing or fouling (up
to fifty times) before hitting it back over the net to the opposing team who will make every attempt to return it without
missing. If they do miss, the opposite team receives as many points as they volleyed before returning it. All volleys
must be counted audibly by the entire team (or by scorers on the sidelines) which aids in the scoring process and also
helps build tension. So the idea is to volley the ball as many times as possible each time the ball comes over the net,
then to safely return it, and to hope that the other team blows it.
Other rules are as follows:
I.
II.
III.
No person may hit the ball two consecutive times.
No two people may hit the ball back and forth to each other more than once in a succession to increase the
number of volleys. In other words, Player A may hit it to player B, but Player B may not hit it back to Player A.
Player A may hit it again once someone else has hit it besides player B
Five points are awarded to the serving team if the opposing team fails to return a serve.
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IV.
V.
VI.
Five points are awarded to the receiving team if a serve is missed (out of bounds, in the net, etc.)
Players rotate on each serve, even if the serving team scores on successive serves.
A game is fifteen minutes. The highest score wins.
All other volleyball rules are in effect.
7. Penguin Football Big Group Game
Give each person a rag about four inches wide and two feet long (sheets torn into strips work well.) Each person then
ties the rag securely around his knees to make running impossible. Players can move only by shuffling their feet.
Now divide into teams and play football using a Nerf football. The game becomes hilarious when players must hike,
run, throw, and kick with their knees tied together. Of course, this opens up the possibility of playing Penguin Baseball,
Penguin volleyball, Penguin Soccer, and countless other games.
8. Steal The Bacon Big Group Game
Divide your group in half, and send each team to opposite ends of a playing field, no more than 100 feet apart. Have
each team line up horizontally, facing their opponent on the other side, evenly spaced. In the very middle of the playing
field, place a towel, ball, or other object that can serve as the "bacon." Number each team off from 1 to the number of
people in that group and have them stand in order. The object of the game is to steal the bacon. You call out a number
and the two people from each team with that number must run to the middle of the playing field to steal the bacon. If a
player picks up the bacon and returns safely to his team without getting tagged, he wins. If the player who steals the
bacon gets tagged by the other person he loses and the other player wins. Continue until everyone has had at least
none chance.
9. Birdie On The Perch Big Group Game
Have one circle of girls and one circle of guys, with one around the other. Everyone must be paired off with someone of
the opposite sex in the opposite line. When the music plays they walk in opposite directions. When the music stops
they must find their partner and the girl sits on the guy’s knee. They only have a few seconds to find their partner or
they will be out. This can be done with body parts too. When the music stops yell, "elbow to ear" and they must find
their partner and touch one person’s elbow to the other’s ear.
10. Collision Big Group Game
Have two or more teams on opposite sides of a field or court. Both teams run to the other side as fast as they can,
before the other team — causing collisions. Do this crawling, walking backwards, rolling, on all fours with your stomach
up, summer-saulting, etc.
11. Ultimate Frisbee Big Group Game
Have two teams with an "end-zone" each teams has to get the Frisbee across the goal line with out dropping it. You
can’t run with the Frisbee either, it must be thrown from teammate to teammate.
12. Anklebone Connection Big Group Game
All girls stand in a circle and the guys form a circle around them. The inner and outer circles must have same amount
of people. The girls walk clockwise and guys counterclockwise. A leader then interrupts by calling out two parts of the
body. For instance, he or she might call out, "wrist to nose!" or "knee to elbow!" at the moment, both circles stop.
Whomever you stop next to is your partner with whom you must assume the designated position. Eliminate slowest
couple each round.
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13. The Great Race Big Group Game
Divide the group into teams, with at least forty kids on each one. Direct each team to select different kids to participate
in each of the team events so that everyone gets an opportunity to play. Begin by dispersing kids to the specific event
areas where they’ll participate. As the race begins, the first person should run from a starting line to the first event with
the open bag of jelly-beans. The person is to hand the bag of jelly-beans to the kids doing that event. After the first
activity is complete, one person should run to the next event with the bag of jelly-beans. The kids there should
complete their activity and run the jelly-beans to the next activity area. Teams should continue in this manner until the
bags of jelly-beans have been raced around the field. At the end of the race, count the jelly-beans left in the bag and
add one second to a team’s time for each jelly-bean that’s missing. The object of the race is to finish it with as few jellybeans lost as possible.
The following events will help you get started:
Human Obstacle Course (using people as obstacles)
Water Drink (A person drinks ten cups of water)
The Human Pyramid (ten people form a pyramid)
Sink a Putt (A person makes a ten-foot putt into a hole)
Circle Sit-Down (kids form a circle and sit on each other’s knees for 15 seconds)
Folding-Chair Race (the 1st person in line unfolds, sits in, and refolds a chair and then passes the chair down the line)
The Paper Plane Flight (a person makes and throws a paper plane 10 feet)
Over and Under With a Bag of Beans (kids in a line pass the bag over and under using their hands)
Two Carry One (two people carry a third who is holding the bag of jelly beans)
A Sprint to the Finish (kids run a fifty-yard dash back to the starting line).
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MIXERS
Often it is successful to mix up the whole club; however, the first key is thinking how you can really pull in your farthest
out kid who doesn’t want to do anything. Campaigner and student leader kids may be forewarned at their meeting to
look for and pull in kids. When doing all club skits, we want them to feel like "this is crazy", "I can’t believe we are
getting to do this", "these people are insane" - it is a real winner if you can get kids to really play like little kids (Matthew
18:3). These games can get out of control, so you must think ahead about what you want it to look like; for example, "if
all the lights are out will one of my guys grab a girl where he shouldn’t". You know your kids, out of control can be great
as long as we protect kids who fear it most.
1. Penny On The Chin Mixer
Give each student a penny and have them find a partner. They must hold the penny between their lip and chin without
using their hands. Have them stand back to back. On the count of three they turn and face each other. The first one to
drop their penny is out and must sit down. The winner then finds a new partner and moves on. Go until someone wins.
Find new partners and eliminate to final couple, if there is a tie, both have to sit down. You may want background
music starting and stopping each round.
2. Gum Sculpting Mixer
Divide club into four teams and pass out three to eight gumballs per kid depending on the size of the club. Each team
picks a sculptor, chews gum and designs something in five minutes. Judge for originality, and the funniest etc. Use
music in the background. Build on cookie sheet and have rubber gloves for sculptor. Gum commercials (off a
commercials CD) will work for background music or even TV shows. Also for a sell, you may want a brat guy or girl
interrupting chewing gum and stretching it out of their mouth etc., gives you an idea.
3. Simon Says Mixer
Yes, it’s true, we play this one just like you think; however the key rules are that you must be honest, and you may not
talk. You must be good at this one to pull it off. Quickness and creativity go far.
4. Balloon Feet Smash Mixer
Have one or two balloons per kid. Tie them to feet and have them stomp each other’s balloons. Separate by colors
(strobe light and 1812 overture works well).
5. Pin ‘Em Mixer
Have about 4-5 clothes pins per kid in the room and hand them out. Explain that when the music begins, the object of
the game is to get all clothes pins off of yourself and on to someone else. Turn off lights and on strobes and music, you
may want to put girls on one side of room and guys on another (divide it with a volleyball net or something). Explain
that when the lights come on, one or two folks should have about 100 pins on them - pull them up and parade the
winner. Here is one more possible key to this mixer: at the end you will not want them playing with the pins all night
during the talk; so dress a tough kid or leader up in very protective gear (motorcycle helmet with face shield, chest
protector, turtleneck, scarf, gloves, shin guards, thick pants, etc.); and put a bulls-eye on their chest. Tell everybody to
grab all their clothes pins and bring in your human target and play music as they throw their pins at him. Kids can’t
believe they are doing this, and when you stop the music, all your pins are gathered up at the front so they aren’t
throwing them at each other. Sweep them in a corner and go on with club! Also, a possible sell is someone in real
wrestling singlet and headgear coming in to music, maybe dejected because he can’t pin anybody - so you must find
the easiest person to "pin"!
6. Indoor Scavenger Hunt Mixer
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4 teams find: 4 fruit of the Loom tags, the longest belt chain, the biggest ball of gum, family pictures, and a love letter
etc. Really think through things they can come up with & a great prize for the winning team can go a long way.
7. Q-tip War Mixer
Divide room in half. You could use a taped line down the middle. Each person gets a plastic straw and each side a
bunch of Q-tips. The task is to get as many of your Q-tips on the other side of the line in the allotted time.
8. Car Stuff Mixer
Explain inside before you bring them out. You could have a competition between sexes and classes. Each has thirty
seconds to get as many as possible into (not on) a small car. Remove the rearview mirror before club.
9. Find People Sheets Mixer
Hand out papers with lines to be initialed: five people with birthdays in february, 10 people to build a 4-3-2-1 pyramid, a
person with a fake ID….You need enough pencils and papers for everyone.
10. Move If Mixer
All kids sit down. They move over a specified number of seats if they meet certain requirements. If someone is sitting
there, they sit on that person’s lap. Move one person to the left if you have red on…etc. After a while, see who has the
most people stacked up on them.
11. Melt that Ice Cube Mixer
Divide the group into two or three teams. Give a large block of ice to each group. The team has to melt the ice any way
they can (i.e. crushing, breaking, friction, body heat etc.). Weigh before and after to determine winner. Prepare for
water.
12. Young Life Bingo Mixer
Kids run around the room trying to find signatures of people specified trying to get a bingo first. See example below.
B
I
N
G
A freshman guy
Someone who
owns their own
YL hat
Someone who
does not have
their license
Someone who
rode with their
boyfriend or
girlfriend
A girl who has
not shaved her
legs in a week
A person who
is an uncle or
aunt
A person who
went to
Castaway
Someone who
has benchpressed over
250lbs.
An Honor Roll
student
A person who
weighs under
100 lbs.
Someone who
went to the
O
Someone who
can do a
back-flip
A person with
a fake ID
Someone with
size 10 shoe
A senior girl
U of M vs.
21
MSU game
A person over
6’3"
A person who
kissed someone
yesterday
Someone who
has gotten a
ticket this month
The youngest
Young Life
leader
A person who
goes to
campaigners
Someone who
is going to sign
up for fall
camp/
A person with
pink underwear
on
A person with
over $40 on
them
A varsity
A person who
is at YL for the
first time
athlete
castaway
13. Inner Tube Stuff Or Hula Hoop Stuff Mixer
Get several large truck tire inner tubes. Divide the room into teams and see who can stuff the most people in their tire.
14. Pipe Line Mixer
Have kids divide into teams of 8 to 20. Give everyone a straw and have them lineup and get on their knees. Each team
chooses a "sipper" (you may even give them a "skipper" captain hat) who goes to the far end of the line. At the signal,
they must join their straws together, form a pipeline and sip a coke from a cup.
15. Get In The Polaroid Picture Mixer
May be a class competition. Mount a Polaroid on a tripod that must be held stationary on the same spot. Explain to
them that they must try to fit as many people as possible into the view of the camera. The winner is the team with the
most in the picture.
16. Shoe Pandemonium Mixer
Have everyone take off a shoe and throw it into the middle of the room. Turn off the lights and have the kids get their
shoes back. Throw some old shoes in the pile.
17. Tennis Ball Relay Mixer
Divide into teams and place a tennis ball between the knees of the first person. Have them run across the room and
give it to the next person
18. Toilet Paper Relay Mixer
Have teams line up and pass a roll of TP over one person’s head and under the next person, unrolling as they go.
19. Karate, Gun, Gorilla Mixer
Pair everybody into couples and stand back to back. On the count of three they turn around and act out either a karate
move (demonstrate), a gun move or a gorilla move. Gun kills gorilla, gorilla kills karate, and karate kills gun.
20. Ninja, Gun, Gorilla Mixer
22
A ton like the old rock, scissors, paper hand deal from way back-now you use your whole body. Play it up huge, have
some one demonstrate each-ninja, guy in karate stance yelling waaaaa; gun, hold finger gun and say BANG; Gorilla,
arms in air saying ooo, ooo, ahh, ahh, ahh, you know jungle sounding. Ninja beats gun, gun beats gorilla, gorilla beats
ninja. Keep going until all are eliminated, fun to find a champ. It helps to have the students who are out to go to the
outside and the people still playing in the middle.
21. Bat-Round Relay Mixer
Divide your group into teams. Each team gets a baseball bat that is placed on one end of the playing area, with the
team lined up at the other end. The object of this relay is for each team member to run to the bat, put his forehead on
the bat (in a vertical position) and run around the bat ten times while in that position. He then returns to the team,
usually so dizzy that getting back to the team is a difficult and fun to watch experience.
22. Blanket Ride Relay Mixer
This is a relay in which a girl, (or girls) ride on a blanket while being pulled around a goal. Other team members
(preferably boys) line up behind the starting line. The girl rider is positioned on the blanket (sitting cross-legged)
holding on tightly, and the first boy in line grabs the blanket assumes a pulling position. On signal, the boy begins
running while pulling the blanket all the way around the room and around a marker at the far end, then back to starting
point where the next boy in line takes over. The blanket must be pulled completely over the line before the next boy
may pull. The first team to complete all rounds wins. Obviously this game works best on a slick floor.
23. Boy Relay Mixer
Here is a wild relay race that most boys really like. The boys line up in several teams. The girl members of their teams
divide in half and each half lines up one side of their boys’ team. So you have a line of with a short line of girls on each
side of them. At a signal, four girls from each team (two from each side of the boys) pick up the first boy. One girl takes
one leg, another the other leg and one girl takes each arm. They ten carry the boy across the room and deposit him on
a chair. The girls race back to the team, get to the end of the line and the next four carry the next boy. First team to
carry all boys across is the winner. Girls will have to carry more than one boy.
24. Broom Jump Relay Mixer
Divide into teams. Team members should stand two across. The first couple on each team is given a broom. On "go"
the couple must each grab one end of the broom and run back through their (broom is held just above the floor).
Everyone in the line must jump over the broom. When the couple reaches the back of the line they must pass the
broom back to the front of the line. This is done by hands only — no throwing. Then the second couple repeats etc.
The game is won by the first team, with the original couple again heading the team.
25. By The "Seat Of Your Pants" Volleyball Mixer
This can be an excellent indoor game for large groups in a large room, especially during rainy weather. Divide the
group into two teams. Set up a volleyball net in the room so the top of the net is approximately 5 feet above the floor.
Each player is instructed to sit down on his team’s side of the net so that his legs are crossed in front of him. From this
position a regular game of volleyball is played with the following changes:
1. Use a "light" beach ball type ball (or a Nerf ball)
2. Use hands and head only (no feet)
3. All serves must be made from center of group, and overhand.
4. Because of limited mobility of each player a larger number of participants is suggested (20-25 per team).
5. All of the other rule of volleyball apply.
26. Clothespin Relay Mixer
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String a clothesline from one end of the room to the other, shoulder high to the average person. Place clothespins on
the line. Teams line up facing the line. The object is to run to the line, remove one clothespin with your teeth (no hands)
and bring it back to the team. All team members do the same in relay fashion.
27. Dummy Bag Mixer
This idea is a variation of the "Take Off What You Don’t Need" minutes. Get the group in a circle and give each a
grocery bag. The group is seated in chairs. The instructions are that you are going to have an endurance test to see
who can last the longest. Each person is then told to place the bag over their head to minimize embarrassment. Then
they are told to take off something that they didn’t wear to bed the night before. Some will catch on immediately, others
will take off an article of clothing or piece of jewelry, etc. Then they are instructed to take off something else that they
didn’t wear to bed the previous evening. Just to watch someone sitting with a paper bag on his head undressing is
hilarious. Before the slow one take off too much, you yell at them, "Take off the bag, dummy. Or did you wear it to bed
last night?"
28. Top 40 Mixer
This is a fun guessing game that can be used as a mixer. Divide the room up into teams. Tape-record bits and pieces
of some of the top 40 hits of the month, week, or whatever onto a cassette. You can usually accomplish this by
recording them right off of the radio. Edit it so that only a second or two of each song can be heard. Then when you
play it back for the kids, see how many of them can identify all of the songs. Usually they are so familiar with these
songs, that it is nearly impossible to stump anyone, even when you only play one second of each song.
29. Chewing Gum Relay Mixer
This is a relay for two or more teams using sticks of chewing gum, work gloves, and shopping bags. Individual sticks of
gum (wrapped) are placed inside the shopping bags, and each team is given a pair of work gloves. The idea is to put
on the gloves, run down to the bag, pull out a piece of gum, unwrap it and chew it (with the gloves on), run back, and
then pass the gloves to the next person. The team that finishes first is the winner.
30. Savage Women Mixer
This is a wild game that is easy to play, and lots of fun. All the guys are to get inside a circle and huddle together in any
position and lock arms. The girls attempt to pull the boys out of the circle any way they can. The guys try to stay in. The
last guy to remain in the circle is the winner. Guys cannot fight the girls.... all they are allowed to do is hang on and try
to stay on.
31. Pull-up Mixer
Everyone gets a chair and forms a circle, everyone sitting in their chair and facing the center of the circle except for 5
boys and 5 girls who start the game. (They are in the middle, standing). At a whistle the 10 boys and girls in the center
of the circle run to the people sitting in the chairs and "pull-up" a person of the opposite sex, by taking their hands and
pulling them out of their chair. For example a boy would go up to a girl, pull her out of her chair and then take her
place. The girl can offer not resistance. She then runs to the other side of the circle, pulls a guy out of this chair, and
takes his seat, and soon. This continues for one minute, the whistle blows, and everybody stops where they are. The
boys and girls left standing are counted. If there are 2 more girls than boys, the boys get 2 points, and the game goes
on. Every time a minute goes by, the whistle blows and those standing are counted. The idea is sort of a random
"musical chairs", boys against the girls. The team with the least left standing each time wins
32. Name Tag Mixer
Before kids arrive, prepare name-tags by writing an easy-to-read number on each one. Also prepare slips of paper with
instructions such as "Introduce #4 to #12, "Find out #7’s favorite pizza topping," "Shake hands with #5 and #13," and
24
so on. Don’t use numbers higher than the number of kids expected. It’s better to make instructions for #1 to #10 and
have duplicate name- tags for #1, #2, #3, and so on. Give kids a name-tag and slip of paper, then send them out to
complete their assignment.
33. Toe Fencing Mixer
Here’s a wild mixer, and if it’s set to music, it looks like a new kind of dance. All the players pair off, lock hands, and try
to tap the top of one of their partner’s feet with their own feet. In other words, one player tries to stomp on the other
player’s foot while their hands are clasped (tapping sounds a bit more humane.) Of course, since players are also
trying to avoid having their feet stepped on, they are all hopping around the floor in a frantic dance.
When a player has had his foot tapped three times, he is out of the game, and the winning partner challenges another
winner. The game continues until only one person is left (or until the music runs out).
34. License Plate Mixer
Here’s a take-off on a game most folks have played while traveling in a car. List on a blackboard, overhead or handout
the following state nick names (and others you may know) from auto license plates. Then have your group divide up
into teams to identify the correct state for each name. The team that correctly identifies the most states wins the game.
You can play the game several times by only using ten states at a time. If the game seems too difficult for your age
group, provide the state names as well (out of order) and make it a matching game.
First in Flight North Carolina
The Empire State New York
The Aloha State Hawaii
The Grand Canyon State Arizona
The Keystone State Pennsylvania
Land of Opportunity Arkansas
The Vacation State Maine
The Centennial State Colorado
The Volunteer State Tennessee
The Constitution State Connecticut
The Land of Enchantment New Mexico
First State Delaware
The Golden State California
The Hoosier State Indiana
The Sportsman’s State Louisiana
The Hawkeye State Iowa
Land of Lincoln Illinois
The Sunflower State Kansas
The Great Lake State Michigan
The Bluegrass State Kentucky
The Silver State Nevada
The Bay State Massachusetts
Land of 10,000 Lakes Minnesota
The Magnolia State Mississippi
35. Marshmallow Pass Mixer
Give each kid in the room toothpicks. Split into teams and then race. You pass the marshmallow to the person behind,
leaving the toothpick on the marshmallow when you let go.
36. People Scavenger Hunt Mixer
25
Have three or four teams each with a captain. Leader stands a distance away and calls out certain
characteristics.....blue eyes, likes to snowboard, etc. captain of team must bring someone with that characteristic up to
leader. First team to leader wins prize. (Reeses or snickers, etc.)
37. Encore Mixer
Divide into groups and give a word, like "red". Each group must think of a song with that word in it. Go around groups
until only one group can come up with a song.
38. Relay Mixers
Lifesaver/marshmallow on toothpick
Water in a cup
Food relay. Place lots of food in bag, each person on team must run, eat something and run back
Clothes relay. Split team in two across from each other. First person puts on old clothes, runs across and takes off for
second person to put on and run,etc.
Pass raw biscuit on forehead
Pass Kleenex by sucking on straw.
Beach ball waddle: couples lock arms back to back and hold beach ball between them. Try to get around pylon and
back without dropping ball.
Inversion: divide into teams of 15 or 20. Have stand in order between two lines that are 18 inches apart. On signal, #1
changes with #20, #2 with #19, etc. without moving outside of lines.
39. Killer Mixer
Mingle around room shaking hands. Killer has special handshake and kills people must die dramatically.
40. Socks-Off Mixer
Try to get everyone else’s socks off while keeping yours on.
41. Balloon Bust Mixer
Tie balloons to ankles and stomp on everyone else’s but save your own.
42. Lap Sit Mixer
Get in circle, all facing counterclockwise. Tighten up circle, then everyone sits down. Try to take steps as a group
sitting on each other’s laps.
43. Punker-Jock-Cowboy Mixer
Like paper/rock/scissors. Stand back to back and act out character. I.e. punker w/mohawk, jock w/muscle, cowboy with
lariat.
44. Ha-Ha Mixer
Everyone lie on ground with head on someone’s stomach. First person start staying "ha ha.." soon everyone is
laughing as heads bounce up and down.
45. Circumference Mixer
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Have teams of the same number of people. Tell group to get in a tight circle of smallest circumference and measure.
46. Dollar In The Crowd Mixer
Mingling game. One or two people have a dollar. Everyone goes around shaking hands. Person with dollar passes off
dollar to tenth person he shakes. Keep going...if you get dollar, pass off to tenth person. When music stops, person
with dollar keeps it.
47. Your Number Is Up Mixer
Instruct your whole group to walk randomly around the room. About every ten seconds or so, call out a number.
Everyone in the game must immediately form a group hug made up of the number of people that you called. This
sometimes leaves some people unable to form a group because they don’t have enough people — they are out of the
game. Repeat until you only have two people left and declare them the winners.
48. Body Parts Mixer
Each kid has a partner. Mingle, then call out two body parts and they put those two parts together. Ie. Nose to toe.
49. Organized Mingling Mixer
Students mingle to music and shake hands. When the music stops, leader calls out a question they must ask of
whomever they are shaking hands. Use fun and serious questions.
50. Rainbow Soccer Mixer
Two teams, each with a bunch of balloons. Each team has only one color balloon. Goalie for each team stands
opposite his team with a large container. Try to get your balloons to goalie and into container while keeping the other
balloons out by popping, etc.
51. Conversational Hearts Mixer
Pass out valentine conversational hearts to everyone, then split up into groups and have each group come up with a
poem using what it says on their hearts.
52. Farm Animal Mixer
Give everyone a piece of paper with a name of a farm animal on it, then during the mixer time have everyone make the
noise of the farm animal and get with the same animals. This works well with a strobe light and the lights off too.
53. Names On Backs Mixer
As students come into club put a sticker on each person’s back that has the name of someone on it. During the mixer
time they have to ask yes/no questions to find out who they are and then find their partner. Example — Kermit and
Miss Piggy, or Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus.
54. Fruit Sculpture Mixer
Break up into groups of 7 or 8 and make sculptures out of the fruit given to your group, then meet the people in your
groups.
55. Water Buckets Mixer
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Get four groups into a line with one bucket of water on the end. Have small cups used to pass down the water to the
opposite end of the line and fill up an empty bucket. The first line done wins.
56. Flour Bag Pass Mixer
Separate the club into big lines and see which one can pass a bag of flour overhead to the back of the line and then
back up front the fastest (cut some small holes in the bag first). This Mixer is extremely messy.
57. Human Knots Mixer
Separate the club into small circles. Everyone grabs the hand of a person not standing next to them. The first team to
untangle back into a circle wins.
58. Candy Match-Up Mixer
Hand out (one to each) all sorts of mixed up candy. Have students match theirs to others who have the same and have
them introduce each other or tell something about themselves when they get into their groups.
59. Lengths-Of-String Mixer
Everyone gets a length of string. Each string is the same length as one other person in the room. Students have to
match up with his/her partner.
60. Spoons Mixer
Play the game of spoons with everyone.
61. Cross The Room If Mixer
Divide the room in half and have students, "Cross the room if …."
62. Cut Up Pictures Mixer
Use old camp or club pictures, cut them up into 3 or 4 pieces, mix all the pictures up and hand them out. They have to
put the picture back together.
63. Song Making Mixer
Split the room up into groups and give each group five words on a card. They need to make up a song with those
words. This works well on theme nights, for example, come up with a western song.
64. Paper Plate Musical Chairs Mixer
Have paper plates scattered throughout the room. When the music stops everyone must be touching the plate. If they
are not, then they are out. Take out more plates every time.
65. Hula Hoop Pass Mixer
Have two large circles hold hands and compete against each other trying to pass their whole team through the hulahoop.
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66. Crap Throw Mixer
Divide the room into four sections by putting tape on the floor. Have a ton of newspaper and toilet paper or whatever
else you can find and the object is to get all of the stuff out of your section and into the other team’s section.
67. Michael Jackson/Punker/Rocky Mixer
Just like paper/rock/scissors — great for 80’s night.
68. Twister Clothes Mixer
Have a Twister spinner and have people connect with colors on people’s clothes instead of dots on the ground.
79. Pumpkin Decorating Mixer
Divide into groups of 4 or 5 and give each group a pumpkin which they need to draw a face on with markers. Works
great around October 31.
70. Group Charades Mixer
Dive the group up and give each group something that they need to act out for the other groups to guess what it is.
Use: poison gas in the room, laughing gas, we’re naked, bad odor in the room, etc.
71. Closest Birthday Mixer
Have everyone line up according to what their birthday’s are.
72. Shuffle The Deck Mixer
Hand everyone a playing card as they come in to club. During the mixer call out different combinations that they have
to come up with.
73. Q-tip Wars Mixer
Divide the room in half. It might help to put a strip of tape down the middle. Each person gets a straw. Each side gets a
bunch of Q-tips. If you can get different colors for each team that would be the best, otherwise just visually judge at the
end. The task is to get as many of your Q-tips on to the other side in the allotted time. When time is up, see who has
the most Q-tips on their side. The only problem is that Q-tips continually fly the rest of the evening. That can cause
distractions during the message.
74. Scramble Mixer
Break into teams and have them: arrange themselves by height, by birthdays, alphabetically by mothers maiden name,
build a pyramid, sing a scale, each person signing a note.
75. Quick Draw Mixer
Divide into tams and have each team get as far away from each other as possible (in four corners of the room). The
leader is in the center of the room and holds two boxes (one for each team) containing about twenty words or phrases
on little slips of paper.
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When the game begins, one member from each team runs to the center, takes a slip of paper out of their team’s box,
reads it and gives it to the leader who discards it. The player then runs back to his/her team, picks up a drawing pad
and a marking pen and tries to draw the word or phrase. No letters or words are alowed, only pictures. The team tries
to guess the word or phrase by looking at the drawing. The artist may not speak until someone finally guesses
correctly.
As soon as the word or phrase is guessed, the next player runs to the leader and draws another slip of paper. Play
continues until one team finishes all twenty.
The twenty words and phrases should be the same for all teams. Also, it might be wise to have an adult referee with
each team. In that case, each contestant should bring the slip of paper to his team referee so he knows what the
phrase is and can determine when it is guessed.
76. Pockets Mixer
Divide into groups of four or five. Everyone in the group should empty their pockets, wallets, pocketbooks, etc. The
group should try to have one possession that begins with each letter of the alphabet. The winning group is the one to
have objects representing the most number of letters.
77. Gossip Mixer
Select a very short story or news clip from the paper. Have everyone sit in a circle. Give the news clip to the first
person and have him read it to himself. He must then whisper the story to the person on his right. The story continues
this way around the circle until the last person hears the story. Hey must then tell it out loud. Naturally the story will be
somewhat different.
78. Name Game Mixer
Everyone starts out in a circle. One person (or however many needed depending on the size of the group) goes around
to a person in the circle and asks that person their name. They shout and dance the name and then go to another
person with the first person hanging on to the hips of the second person. Repeat this and build a chain running all
around crashing into the other chains until everyone is doing it.
79. Newspaper Mixer
Split up into teams and hand out a newspaper to each. Then call out different things that they need to find.
80. Toothpick Mixer
Pass Life-savors one to another by using toothpicks in their mouths. Race against teams.
81. Bike Tube Mixer
Break up into even teams and see how many people you can get inside of a bike inner-tube.
82. Pyramid Clumps Mixer
Have your kids mill around the room. Then the least blows the whistle or horn and yells out a number. Then the
participants seek out the called number of kids and build a pyramid with them. Individuals and pyramids without the
correct number are out.
83. Back To Back Mixer
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Divide your group into pairs and have them sit on the floor back to back and link arms. Then tell them to stand up. With
a little timing in can be done. Then combine the twos into a foursome and do the same. Keep adding more people to
the group until the giant blob can’t stand up.
84. Snap Crackle Pop Mixer
Cut off the front panel of several cereal boxes — one for each group you want to form then cut up each panel into
puzzle shapes- one for each person in the group. Mix together all the pieces and give one to each person and have
them compete to find their cereal.
85. Co-Op Spelling Mixer
Pin a large card bearing a letter of the alphabet to each member’s arm. Give each person a small card and a pencil.
The goal is for letters to get together and spell words. Once you’ve spelled a word, write the word on your card. Then
separate everyone and look for new words. Award a prize to the longest list of words. Catch the cheaters by excluding
vowels or certain consonants!
86. Life’s Little Puzzle Mixer
As kids arrive, give them each the piece to a kid’s jigsaw puzzle. If you have extras left over, place them back into the
correct puzzle frames. Put all frames in the center of the room. Have kids locate the correct puzzles to which their
pieces belong. The first group to completely put a puzzle together wins.
87. Mr. Potato Head Mixer
Break the group into teams of four kids, and give each team a potato, toothpicks, and vegetable pieces. The object is
for each team to make the funniest, most creative potato person possible. If you desire, you can turn this into a
competition between the teams and give out prizes.
88. It’s the Pits Mixer
Divide the group into equal teams (6 to 10 on a team). Give each team a Nerf ball. On "go", each member of the team
passes the ball from armpit to armpit without the assistance of hands. If the ball is dropped or touched by a team
member’s hand, the team starts over again. The first team to pass the ball successfully to each member and then back
is the winner.
89. Young Life Confusion Mixer
Hand out a sheet and pen to everyone and have them get signatures or initials of the different categories. The first one
to get them all wins.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Find someone who has a birthday in February and have him/her sign their initials here.
__________________________________
Find someone who has been to Colorado before and leapfrog over him/her. Then have the person initial
here.______________________
Get seven leaders to sign the back of this sheet.
Find someone who has a birthday this month and sing "Happy Birthday" to them Have the person initial
here._____________________
Find someone to listen to you say "toy boat" ten times quickly. Then have them initial
here.___________________________________
Get three other people to link arms with you and do the cheer "lean to the left, lean to the right, stand up, sit
down, fight, fight, fight!" Have each person initial here.________________________________________
Give someone your ugliest face and have them initial here.__________________
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8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
With two other people, face the front of the room, put your hand over your heart, and say the "Pledge of
Allegiance" in unison. Initial each other’s papers._______
Rub noses with someone of the opposite sex. Have them initial here.__________
Have someone tell you about the best Christmas gift they ever received. Then have them initial
here._______________________
Find someone who showed an animal at the Hudsonville Fair. Have them initial
here._____________________________________
Get a hair over 5 inches long from someone else’s head. Let them pull it out. Have the person initial
here._________________
Give someone a backrub and have them initial here._____________________
Find someone who has blue eyes and have them initial here.______________
Find someone who is left-handed and have them initial here.______________
90. Touch Telephone Mixer
This game is based on the old telephone game but involves touch rather than hearing. No talking is allowed. Divide the
group into teams of about six each. Each team sits in a line, one behind the other. The last person is shown a simple
hand drawn picture of an object such as a house, a cat, or a Christmas tree, for example. The person who is shown the
drawing then tries to draw an exact copy of it, using their fingers, on the back of the person in front of them. The
drawing can only be done once. The second person then draws what they felt onto the back of the person in front of
them. This continues until it gets to the person at the front of the line, that person then must draw what he or she felt,
on a piece of paper. The team whose picture most resembles the original wins that round.
91. Wet diaper Mixer
Before club, place four buckets full of water at one end of the room and four empty buckets at the other end. Have kids
form four equal groups, and give one large disposable diaper to each group. Have one member from each group wait
at the opposite end of the room by his or her group’s empty bucket. At the signal, the first person in each line must
soak a diaper with water, then transport the diaper on his or her head, to the empty bucket at the other side of the
room. Once they’ve reached the empty-bucket guard to squeeze the water from the diaper into the bucketusing only
their heads. When the diaper is empty, each team member runs back to his or her line, and then the process repeats
itself. Instruct groups to keep playing until time is up. Measure how much water each group got into the originally empty
bucket.
92. Jigsaw Jack-o’-Lanterns Mixer
This is a great competitive team mixer for the fall. Cut up pumpkins into 8-10 pieces. Break your group into teams of 5
or 6. Have a supply of round wooden toothpicks. Give each group two minutes to put its "jig-saw puzzle" pumpkin back
together, using the toothpicks to hold the pieces in place. The first team done or the team with the most "together"
pumpkin after the time limit is the winner. Pumpkins must be able to stand up alone to be considered a winner.
93. Dog Biscuit Relay Mixer
This hilarious rely is great for any size group. If your group is large, divide into teams of five or more players. If your
group is small, divide into two teams and repeat the relay two or more times to determine the winning team. Have each
team form a straight line with each team member down on all fours (like a dog) facing forward. Give group members
each a pinch-type clothespin to put in their mouth so the clothespin can be opened and closed with their teeth. Put
bowls with 10 to 12 dog biscuits in each on the floor in front of each team’s line. The first person in each team’s line
must take the dog biscuit out of the bowl, one at a time, using the clothespin in his or her mouth. The biscuits are then
passed on to the next person and so on down the line. If a biscuit is dropped, the person who dropped it must pick it up
with the clothespin. No hands are allowed at any time. Teams must stay in a straight line and remain on hands and
knees throughout the relay. The first team to put all its biscuits in the bowl at the end of the line wins.
95. Sit Down Mixer
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Instructions: Ask the entire group to stand.
Instruct them to sit down when the statement characterizes them and remain seated.
Encourage them to be as honest as possible.
If you have trouble because most are not sitting down, give them general characteristics (sit down if you are
under 15, if you have on white socks, if you are in love).
Sit Down Mixer Number 1
Sit down if:
You haven’t used deodorant in a week…two days.
You haven’t won the same socks two days in a row.
You sing in the shower.
You drive a Volkswagon.
Your belly button is an outie.
You kiss with your eyes open.
You went to the drive-in this weekend but didn’t see the movie.
You haven’t taken a shower in a week.
You kiss sloppy.
You didn’t use mouthwash today.
You are a girl and you didn’t shave your legs today.
You are a guy and you didn’t shave your legs today.
You are ugly.
1.
2.
3.
Sit down if:
Your nose is crooked
You believe each person should pay expenses on the first date.
You are mad at your girlfriend or boyfriend now.
You still suck your thumb.
Your socks don’t match.
You are ticklish.
You wear baby doll pajamas.
You walk funny.
You weigh less than 100 pounds.
You nose is running and you don’t have a handkerchief.
You’re going steady but you wish you weren’t.
You are good-looking but not conceited.
Sit down if:
You have ever two-timed your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You have ever eaten snails.
You are cross-eyed.
Your mother still dresses you.
You use Ban deodorant.
You have never lied to your mother.
The person in front of you smells.
You have a hole in your sock.
Your zipper is open.
You got a traffic ticket lately.
You are on a diet.
You aren’t on a diet but you should be.
You aren’t on a diet but he person next to you should be.
You have never stolen a street marker.
You have a false tooth.
You are really good looking.
Stand up if the person next to just sat down and was wrong.
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MINUTES
Minutes began very early in Young Life. The "minutes" name evolved from the fact that Young Life was a club and a
club always had the minutes of the last meeting. Early clubs (1940’s and 50’s) had officers, a president, a vicepresident, secretaries and bouncers. The secretaries did the minutes, and they almost always involved the kids with
the use of their names and a review of the events of that week. Therefore, we have the name, "minutes", and it is still
used today (even though we don’t actually keep the minutes anymore) because it is a good distinction from "skits"
which are usually all leaders, and minutes involves kids up front.
The purpose of having minutes in club is three-fold. First, is to have fun in club. To get kids laughing is as important as
getting them there. Second, we have minutes as a promotion for club. The conversation around school the next day is
often, "You should have seen what they did at Young Life last night." Third, minutes involve the students.
1.
Take Off What You Don’t Need Minutes or What’s The First Thing You’d take off Minutes?
In this contest you get 3 kids and take them out of the room. Tell the crowd that this is an intelligence contest. "We will
tell each person to take off something they don’t need while they are sitting under the blanket. The object is to take off
the blanket which they don’t need."
Meanwhile, have another leader tell the three guys what is going on. This is a set-up on the crowd rather than the 3
kids. Have them go out one at a time and have the first two take off a few items like a watch, socks, or shoes. "Is this
it?" "No!" Then have them "realize" what is going on and take off the blanket. Then have the 3rd person come out.
(Have him put a pair of shorts under all of his clothes in the back room). The 3rd person proceeds to take off all of his
clothes (also a pair of boxer shorts), throwing them out from under the blanket. Then he runs off with just his shorts and
the blanket around his waist. You are "accidentally" standing on the blanket.
2. Clothes Relay Minutes
Props: (1) football pants, jersey, shoulder pads, cleats, and socks (2) big woman’s bra, dress, leotards, high heels, and
wig. Have three guys race three girls. The girls have to completely put on the football uniform over their clothes and the
guys have to put on the women’s clothes. After they are completely dressed, they have to take it off and the next
person starts putting it on. The first team (guys or girls) to finish wins. Mechanics: Teams start at the same time. One
person completely dresses and undresses before the next starts, etc. When 3rd person is undresses the race is over.
3.
Balloon Race Minutes
Two teams inflate and pass balloons to kid who stuffs them into oversized sweat shirt and pants. Girl leader
counts for girl; guy for guy by popping balloons with pins. Have a three-minute time limit. Pop all extra
balloons so kids aren’t throwing them during talk. You may have different sized and different shaped
balloons. Fat Albert music in background (off TV tunes CD). For a sell you may have a little person in huge
sweats already stuffed with balloons come in to Fat Albert. Maybe you could even do a spin off of one of
these ridiculous Gas X, and Tums commercials.
4.
Guess Weight Minutes
Have several people come up and sit cross legged; the weight guesser lifts each one of them, holds them for
a few seconds, then puts them down and guesses. On about the 3rd person, slip a pan of water under him
before he gets down.
5.
Rubber Band On Nose Minutes
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Put a large rubber band around the heads of several people. Place it so that is squashes their nose and folds
their ears over. They can use anything to get it down around their necks except their hands (can use wall,
other people, etc.). First one through wins.
6.
Valentine’s Toe Freezin’ Relay Minutes
Have several people up front and take their shoes and socks off. Have two or three teams of students. Then
have the teams as quickly as possible "fish out" candy hearts from buckets of ice water (or snow) with their
feet. When the team gets done have them try and read the candy hearts that were removed from the water. If
the hearts are still readable if they go quickly.
7.
Bob for Apples — Or Bananas — Or Baby Ruth Candy Bars Minutes
Pull up three guys and have a large fish tank (wider is better then deeper). Explain that it is time to play that
age-old game "Bobbing for Apples Young Life Style". Instead of just apples put in ping-pong balls, small
apples, and golf balls. Explain that the ping pong balls are worth 1,000 points, the apples 2,000 points, and
the golf balls 3,000 points (when it comes to points, Cindy says "Go big or stay home."). They will be
blindfolded and have 30 seconds to 60 seconds each to get as many points a possible. (They may go for it
more if you put a $25 camp scholarship on the line). The visual on this one is hysterical. If your tank is big
enough you may even try two at a time. Maybe an old "Momma" character could sell this skit as a great
"kiddies" game.The old traditional with a twist. Think of unusual thing to "bob" for: oranges, hot dogs, pickles,
eggs, etc.
8.
Chocolate Diaper Minutes
Have three students up front. Fill a baby diaper (preferably Huggies) with chocolate pudding . When you say
go, the students lick/eat the chocolate pudding our of the diaper with their hands behind their back. The first
one done wins. A twist on this one is to have gummy worms hidden in the pudding, then have the
contestants pull out all the gummy worms from the pudding. Be ready for a messy clean up.
9.
Tag Team Two Liter Minutes
Have 3 teams of 2 up front, give each team a two liter of pop. The rules are that they can pass the 2 liter
back and forth as they drink it. The first team done wins.
10. Wiener War Minutes
Those little Vienna weinies are great for minutes — Give the kids up front toothpicks and a can of little
weinies and see who can make the best wiener creation.
11. Wiener War 2 Minutes
See who can spit one of the little weinies out of their mouth the farthest.
12. Pin Face Minutes
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Cindy says that this one is painful — so choose the right people to be up front. Bring several students up
front and give each 20-30 wooden clothes pins with the little metal springs. See who can stick the most
clothes-pins to their face. (They cannot stick the pins to hair, jewelry, glasses, etc) When the allotted time is
over count to see which student has the most pins on their face and declare them the winner. You might
want to have teams of 2 and have one person putting the clothes-pins on the person.
13. Slurp and Spit Minutes
Have a huge bowl of Jello up front, three students, and three smaller jars. Each student gets a straw. The
object is to see which student can get the most Jello into her personal jar by slurping it out of the mother bowl
and spitting it into her jar. Give them a certain amount of time and then compare jars to see who has sucked
the most.
14. Gargle a Tune Minutes
Have 3 students up front, hand them a glass of water. Then show just that person who is going to be doing
the gargling the name of a familiar song. It might be a nursery rhyme, or any other songs everyone will know.
Have the person take a drink of water and attempt to gargle the tune you have showed them. The rest of the
students in the room should be listening close so they can guess the song. Be ready for water through the
nose.
15. Marshmallow Attack Minutes
Get 6 students up front — 3 teams of two. One person is the eater and the other is the feeder. When you say
"go" the feeder dips a marshmallow into chocolate syrup and then feeds it to the eater. See how many can
be eaten in a minute.
16. Strained Banana Minutes
Get three students up front and give each one a pair of panty hose which they are to put over their head and
face. Then — when you say "go" they peel a banana and begin to smash it through the panty hose in to their
mouth. The first person to eat the entire banana wins. This one also works with Jello.
17. Shaving Cream Shootout Minutes
Get a couple of "volunteers" up front and put a huge blob of shaving or whipped cream on their nose. Place
them strategically around the room. They must try to shoot the shaving cream off of the nose of the other
person on their right. Clearly explain that if they start shooting the crowd on purpose, they will be executed.
Use wild west, country songs for this one. Have towels and remember that things will get wet. The first
person to shoot off all the whipped cream wins.
18. Bubble Blow Pop Minutes
Have 3 "volunteers" up front. Give them each a Blow Pop sucker. The first one to unwrap it, and bite into it,
to the gum, and blow a bubble wins.
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19. Shave The Balloon Minutes
3 or 4 kids race to shave a balloon. First put shaving cream all over the balloons. The trick is that when the
balloon breaks, the shaving cream goes all over — so be prepared. A little nick put on the razor’s edge
before hand will assure that the balloons will break.
20. French Charade Minutes
This game is played like "Elephant Pantomine" but since you don’t restrict the act to any one theme, it played as often
as you like with the same group. Divide into teams of five to seven people. Have the members of one team leave the
room while the others think of a situation which can be acted out without words. Then bring in one person from the
team that was sent out of the room. Explain the situation he or she will be acting out.
Now bring in the second person from that team. Without saying a word, Person #1 must act out he assigned plot for
Person #2. Person #2 may or may not understand the charade, but he or she must subsequently act out the same
situation for a third member of the team. Person#3 performs the charade for Person#4, and so on. The last person
must guess the original story line.
Remember, all this is done in complete silence. Even the simplest charade can undergo a thorough metamorphosis
after being passed down several times. If the lost person cannot guess the charade, person #1 should perform it again
and let the last person guess once more.
Here are some classic French charade situations to spur your creativity.
Charade 1:
The original pantomime that you do could include the following: pull the elephant into the room on a rope; tie the rope
at a stake; dip a rag in a pail and wash the side of the elephant jumping high to get all the way to the top; crawl
underneath, wash his belly and legs; go to the front and wash the trunk inside and out and wash the elephant’s ears as
well; and then, wash under his tail (hold your nose).
Charade 2:
You are a high school beauty pageant contestant, anxiously awaiting the announcement of the winner. Suddenly you
hear your name! You now step forward to receive your crown and roses. Then comes you victory walk down the aisle,
waving to the crowd, you encounter many misfortunes. First, you are allergic to the roses, so you begin to sneeze, but
you keep on going waving and sneezing to the crowd. Then, on the way back up the aisle, your high heel breaks and
you finish the walk with one heel missing!
Charade 3:
Your are a pregnant mama bird about to give birth. You must fly around the room gathering materials for your nest.
Once you make your nest, you lay your egg. Then finish the charade by hatching the egg and finding a worm to feed
your new baby.
21. Blow Up Toilet Paper 1 and 2 Minutes
Pick a four-person team from each class. See how long they can keep one square of toilet paper in the air by blowing
it. Or you may have one person stand on a chair and drop the paper to a person standing on the floor who blows the
paper up while the top person tries to catch it with a party blow out horn.
22. Pop Balloons By Biting Them Minutes
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Two couples race to see how many balloons they can pop by biting them as the balloons are placed between them.
Have some balloons with shaving cream in them. Go fast and have each half of room count out loud for their couple.
23. Feed The Babies Minutes
Use three couples. Have the girls dress like moms and the guys wear a diaper (use Depends or sheets), bib and
bonnet. Have the girls put a guy on their lap and feed them a jar of gross baby food and a full baby bottle. When all the
food is gone, the girls must burp the guy. The first one to burp wins. Cut a bigger hole in the bottle or it takes forever.
24. Space Alien Dogs Minutes
Bring three guys in front and put a 32 oz. cups around their necks. Put three blindfolded girls in the back of the room
and give each of them a dozen hot dogs. The girls throw the dogs to the guys who catch them in their cups without
using their hands.
25. Shoe Shucking Minutes
Choose two teams of four. Have the team lie on their backs in a circle with their feet raised to meet in the middle,
balancing a bucket of water on their feet. Each team member must remove his/her shoes without spilling the water.
This can be a class competition.
26. Candle Blowing Contest Minutes
Two guys face each other at a table. Give each one a candle, a big cup of water or a can of pop and some matches.
The object is to drink the entire cup of water, but they can only drink when their candle is lit. They can’t use their hands
for anything other than drinking water or lighting the candle. So, their options are to drink, blow out their opponent’s
candle or light their own candle. Explain this clearly to kids and have a referee.
27. Plunger and Tennis Ball Minutes
Pick three guy/girl teams. Put the business ends on both ends of a plunger. Hang a tennis ball from the middle on a
rope. Have the couples put their heads on the cups and, using only their heads, flip the ball around the plunger. The
first couple to wrap their ball around three times wins. Kind of like tetherball! This one is more sanitary with new
plungers.
28. Cotton-ball Vaseline Relay Minutes
Give each team a pile of cotton balls. Team members must move the pile to another location by putting Vaseline on
their noses and picking up the cotton balls with their noses. They may not use their hands.
29. Donut Dip Minutes
Have two or three guys lie on the floor face up. Cover them with garbage bags. A girl stands by each guy holding a
plain donut on a string. The girl dips the donut into a bowl of chocolate syrup and swings the donut over for the guy to
take a bite. They must dip donut for every bite. The first one done wins!
30. Toilet Paper Mummy Minutes
Have kids stand back to back. Give them one roll of toilet paper (or more), and see which pair can do the best job
wrapping themselves into a mummy. Music possibilities of Walk Like An Egyptian or Wrap it Up.
31. Bobbing For Apples In Baked Beans Minutes
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Just as disgusting as it sounds. Thank Brooks Kimmel for reaching an all new psychotic state for this one, but he said it
worked. Make sure you have great clean-up towels. You may be able to get the beans donated and you may want to
have swim goggles and ear plugs. For this minutes you have to have kids already prepared and psyched to go.
32. Jousting Over A Baby Pool of Stuff Minutes
Here is one that goes the extra mile. You need a baby pool filled with the stuff of your choice (oatmeal, instant
potatoes, whatever you can get your hands on) and a 4x4 plank of wood long enough to reach across your pool (prop
up the ends so the pool is not crushed). This must be sturdy enough to hold two people. Two contestants with Nerf
joust sticks (possibly pool noodles) and helmets battle on the plank to knock each other off into the pool. A ton of
preparation is needed for this one. Should only be done outside. This could be a fun minutes but you must think
through the safety on this one. Make sure the board doesn’t get so slippery that the kids will fall and get hurt. You
might even want gymnastic mats around the pool.
33. Hobby Pantomime Minutes
Take three people out of the room. Bring in the first person and act out detailed, exaggerated actions of your hobby.
Bring in the next person and have the first act out the hobby for the second. Have the second person act out he hobby
for the third. At the end ask each person what they thought they were acting out. You can also act out changing a
diaper or washing an elephant.
34. Blind Shoe Grab (Cinderfellas) Minutes
Arrange chairs in a circle. All of the Cinderellas (girls) in the group select a chair. The Prince Charmings (boys) each
pick a girl and kneel in front of her. He removes her shoes and holds them in his hand. The leader calls for the shoes
and they are thrown into the middle of the circle. Then the girls blindfold the guys. On the signal, the guys crawl to the
center and attempt to find their Cinderella’s shoes. The girls can only shout out instructions to her prince. After finding
the shoes they crawl back to the girls and put shoes on right feet.
35. Ski Lesson Minutes
Have kids with ski poles jump back and forth over a pillow in front of them. When the crowd yells "bump" on cue from
leader, they must sit down on a chair and burst a balloon. Say it’s a five-bump course to be done for time. Choose two
or three kids. For the last balloon for the last kid use a water balloon. You may want fast music in the background to
build suspense. An enthusiastic ski instructor may serve as a great sell.
36. Feel The Force Luke Minutes
You will need: tubes, newspaper balls, or squirt guns. Sell this minutes with some classic music from Star Wars and
two people (preferably Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker characters) coming in the room with a classic light saber (golf
tubes) battle. (Yoda also is funny if you can find a mask at a costume store.) Bill it as a battle of the sexes and pull up
two girls and two guys to have sword battles with a golf tube each (make sure the tube is not sharp on the end, if so,
pad it with foam). Put the guys back to back with about three to four feet in between them and explain that each guy is
fighting their girl. Also explain that there is no hitting above the shoulders. As they are about to begin stop the match
and blindfold them. Blindfold the girls first, explaining that they are blindfolded so that they can "feel the force" and then
blindfold the guys. After the guys are blindfolded, take the blindfolds off the girls and give them a football helmet for
protection. The girls end up hitting the guys without taking hits and the guys usually even end up hitting each other. Be
careful with this minutes, it can be great, but dangerous so think through it. Play Star Wars music in the background
while they are swinging. This same principle has also been used throwing newspaper balls at guys as they furiously try
to hit girls that can see them although they are blindfolded. You might try a squirt gun duel with girls un-blindfolded
after it starts.
37. Guys Best Pick-up Line Minutes
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To sell this one you may tell a quick disaster date story about asking someone out, telling the crowd that you will need
their help. To do this, reenact your scene by building a couch out of three folding chairs covered by a LARGE sheet or
blanket (it must cover all the chairs well). After building the couch in front of them, pick a girl and sit her on the end
chair. Then pull up three guy studs to come give you their best line and move. Demonstrate for them that it all counts
here — talk, walk, distance from the girl — that when told to do so they will enter the room one at a time, walk over to
the girl, deliver their best line, and sit right next to her with their arm around her. After explaining and demonstrating,
briefly send them out of the room. While they are out of the room, you pull out and put away the middle chair, stand on
one end of the sheet and keep the girl sitting on the other. When the guys deliver their line and begin to sit down, both
you and the girl release pressure on the sheet and they will fall right through. Note: the person who takes them out
should have three lines ready for the guys in case they can’t think of one. Make sure you build them up afterward, and
may want a pillow on the ground under the sheet to break their fall.
38. Egg Obstacle Course Minutes
Pick two barefoot kids, lay eggs on plastic and have them walk through the course (simple). Have them walk through it
backwards (still easy). The last time blindfold them and while they are blindfolded, remove the eggs. The audience can
coach them. Use Corn Chips, Doritos, peanut shells, to throw them off. You may sell it with a turban and a robe
uniform like the stereotype fire-walkers. Possibly use Eastern Music and sound effects. Also, you can make a circle
path through your club. They race around, then backwards, then with the eggs, pulled up after the blindfold is on.
39. Headphone Karaoke — Low Budget Karaoke Minutes
You will need a sound system or some way to play a song in headphones and over speakers at the same time, and
then fade the outside music while keeping music in the phones. Tell the kids that it’s Karaoke Night, and three lucky
people will have a chance to show off their musical skills. Unfortunately, there were budget cuts from the home office in
"your area" and we could not afford any type of karaoke machine. Soooooo, instead each will have to sing their song
using a stereo instead. Pick three kids and take them out of the room. Coach the crowd that you will: bring in each
person, play the song for everyone who will be singing, then put headphones on the contestant (with the song playing
over them). Then, you will draw the sound out of the room and the crowd will just pretend to continue singing, allowing
a hilarious solo from your person with headphones. Do the same to the next two kids. You must use a very popular
song kids will know and three kids who are really outgoing. (You may even cheat and clue in your last kid before club
as a secret between you two forever, just in case the first two lock up when in front). Props could be a mic and mic
stand. The other kids in the club can’t hear the music, only the hopeless wailing of each singer.
40. Magic Carpet Minutes
Use a folding chair and a board and get a blindfolded girl to stand up on it while it’s on the floor. Get four guys to hold
the corners and slowly lift it a foot or so off the floor. Tell her she can balance herself by putting her hands on the
heads of a couple of boys; as the board is lifted, they sink way down so that the girl thinks she is being gradually lifted
pretty high. Then they take her for a "ride" and move around the room as the kids scream and tell her to duck her head,
etc. This usually works well, especially if the kids cooperate.
41. Paint The Picture Minutes
Paint a picture of spring or something similar. Call kids from the club to come up and stand and be things like a
babbling brook, lovers in a canoe, rocks, trees, etc. Also have a kid come up and run around the group to be a frame.
Depict beautiful nature scene. Then narrator gradually has the brook freeze and stop babbling, trees die, etc. (winter
scene). Punch-line; "and all that was left was the running sap."
42. Stocking Race Minutes
Sit two or three guys in chairs blind folded. Give them a paper sack with heavy men’s gloves and a pair of stockings in
each. They race to be the first to put on the gloves and then the stockings. Becomes hysterical when they can’t even
feel if they have the stockings in their hand or not. You can use hockey gloves, big winter gloves, or lacrosse gloves.
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43. Name The FlowerFlour Power
A great Valentines Day minutes, or a minutes to play up for the dateless! Pull a great looking girl up front with a flower
in her hand and tell guys that 2 lucky contestants may win the chance to get flower and a kiss. Send 2 guys out of the
room; upon returning they have to guess the name of a flower that is the girl’s favorite; if they guess right they get
flower and a kiss. The first 2 guesses have the crowd respond as if they guy didn’t guess right; the third guess (no
matter what it is) is correct. As he goes to kiss the girl she blows flour in his face and hands him a big Hershey’s kiss
from behind her back! (The girl gets flour in her mouth, and kiss behind back when they are out of room, and you are
explaining to crowd their response - girl should practice before club, the flour will have enough to spray guy, but she
may also choke on the Play-Doh like flour in her mouth). Your Antonio Amore, Dr. Love, character could sell this one.
44. Ping-Pong Ball Fight Minutes
Use teams of one boy and one girl and place a cookie sheet with a ping-pong ball on it between the two teams. The
object is to blow the ball to the other side. After they are blindfolded, place the ball on a mound of flour.
45. Moo Minutes
Send four people out of the room and bring them in one at a time. The first person comes in and is told that one person
has been told to "moo" louder than everyone else; everybody moos at the count of three; person has to guess who it is;
have everybody moo again(second chance), then tell them who it is (anybody) and ask them to be the one to moo
loudest for the next person. When the next person comes in and listens, on the second moo, nobody else moos except
the first person. Explain this to everyone before the first person comes in.
46. Blindfolded Banana Feed Minutes
Get several couples to take turns feeding each other bananas while all are blind folded. First let boys feed girls. Then
get girls to feed boys, but first take off the girls blindfolds. Boys get it in the ear!
47. Banana Monkey Race Minutes
Call up three guys and blindfold them. Give them each a banana and tell them it’s a race to see who can eat the
banana first. Tell two to sit down so there is only one guy shoving bananas in his mouth.
48. Fill In The Blanks — or — Mad Lib Minutes
Draft a small piece of writing, either a letter, a recipe, a narrative, a solo, and instruction sheet, etc. leaving out
descriptive words. Then at club ask for an appropriate word be they adverbs, adjectives, nouns etc. Fill in the blanks
without telling the club what you are filling out. Read the finished product.
Here’s a "Mad Lib" that would be great for your next Halloween Party. It’s simply a story with key words left out.
Without letting the kids in on the story, have them (orally) supply the missing words as you tell them the type of word
needed (noun, part of body, adjective, etc.) Tell them to be as creative and wild as possible while thinking up words.
Then read back the story after all the missing words are filled in.
"Once upon a time, __number__ years ago, in that fiendish place Translyvania (which is now known as __local high
school__), the __adjective_ Count Dracula __verb(ed.)__. Our story finds him just after he has finished his dinner,
which tonight included __person in group._ Since he was still a little hungry and a full moon was out, he decided to
catch the next __means of transportation__ to __girl in room__’s house and peek into her __room__ to see if she was
__verb — ing._ By chance she was, which brought a __adjective__ smile to his __adjective__ face. Without wasting a
second, he __verb-ed__ into her __noun__, startling her so much that she broke her __toy__. "__greeting__" spake
Count Dracula. "I have come to drink your blood!" "__exclamation__" she replied, whereupon she kicked Dracula in the
__part of body__ and fled. Not to be deterred, Dracula chased her as far as __place__ where he finally tackled her. It
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looked like the end for __same girl__ but just before Dracula could sink his __adjective__ fangs into her __adjective__
neck, __boy in group__ arrived on the scene. Quickly sizing up the situation, he grabbed the nearest __noun__ and
smote Dracula so hard it was heard in __place__. "__mushy line__," sighed the girl. "Aw, it was nothing," replied the
boy as he flexed his __part of body__ for her. "By the way," he asked. "What’s a nice girl like you doing in the __your
church__ high school group?"
49. Pedro The Sugar Salesman Minutes
Props: two identical bowls with spoons, one filled with salt the other with sugar. Send kids A and B (both are
forewarned and C (unsuspecting sucker) out of the room). A, dressed as in Mexican clothes comes in with a bowl of
sugar expounding on how great it is. He/she tries to sell C on buying some of the delicious sugar by having him/her
taste it, while taking a huge spoonful himself. C will not be to impressed with A’s selling ability, so have C try to sell
some to B. while C is putting on the outfit, switch the sugar bowl for the salt bowl.
50. Ugliest Thing In The World Minutes
Props: one large blanket and 3 informed fellas.
Announce that you have discovered the ugliest thing in the world, and he is so ugly that it is hard to look at him, in fact
its downright unbearable. Only another real ugly person can stand the sight of him. At this point, bring in a guy
underneath a huge blanket rigged in such a way that there is an opening around his face, but not exposed to the room.
Ask a couple of guys who are real ugly to take a look at him and let us know what he looks like (of course these two
guys have been clued in). Each takes a hesitant look at the ugly thing and each reacts very violently, screaming
running out of the room clutching at his eyes. Finally pick a cute girl and ask her to take a look. She will probably be a
little reluctant about taking a look at him. When she does, the guy underneath runs away screaming. Pick the girl very
carefully. This might a good one to pull on an unsuspecting leader.
51. Musical Hat Minutes
You need six weird hats. Have seven kids stand in a circle facing the back of the person in front of them. Each should
have a hat except one of them. Then to music the grab the hat of the person in front of them and place it on there
heads. Once it is on their head, they should let go of it. This continues at a frantic pace until the music stops. The
person without a hat is eliminated, just like musical chairs.
52. Balloon Popping Minutes
Each contestant has a balloon tied to each of his limbs. The main idea is to pop all the opponent’s balloons while still
having one of your own. Blindfold for more fun.
53. Eating Contest Minutes
There are many possibilities with eating contests. You can have contestants eat pies, cabbages, celery sticks,
watermelons, and so on. You can either judge on speed or least amount of bites. It has been recommended that you
visit the foreign foods section of your local grocery store also.
54. Song Naming Minutes
Play all or part of familiar and obscure songs. Have a couple of teams composed of guys and girls trying to guess the
names of the songs. The first one to guess the name of the song gets a large piece of gum that he must chew. The
naming gets more difficult the more one gets right because of the gum in their mouth.
55. String Weaving Minutes
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Props: a long strong string with a spoon attached to the end of it.
Skit: Have two teams of five boys compete. The first boy starts the race by taking the spoon up his pants leg under his
shirt and out of the neck and then passes it to the next guy who does the same backwards and so on. This alternating
procedure continues until the string starts down the one in the opposite direction. The race is both a speed race and
competition to see which team can do the weaving with the lease amount of string. The best way to insure both speed
and shortness is to have the first team through weaving shout that they are through, then the other team must stop.
Then add an appropriate amount of string per undone person to the slower team and measure.
56. String Mania Minutes
Props: two 2-foot long strings. Tie a girls wrists together with string leaving about one and a half foot slack. Then do the
same with a boys wrists, except that the string of the girl is placed between the boy’s string and his body, i.e., they are
hooked together. The object is for both of them to separate by funny combinations of stepping through the rope, putting
their heads through, etc. However, there is no way they can do it by trying to thread limbs. When they are thoroughly
entangled, show them how simple it can be done. Have the guy take the loop of his string that is on the girls side and
pass it through the one that ties her left wrist; then loop it over the girls hand and they will be free. Practice with leaders
first.
57. Magic Paper Minutes
Send four girls out of the room and bring them in individually. Have them stand on a newspaper - the first thing they
say is supposed to be what they said when they were first kissed. Do some crazy antics if necessary to get her to say
something like, "What are you doing?"" or "What do I do now?"
58. Banana Split Minutes
Build a banana split in the mouth of the person who will eat it! This can be sort of a one-shot deal or could be done by
three or four girl/guy teams. Girls build; guys eat, or vice versa. Very messy! Club leaders of course have to provide all
the ingredients. Lay guys on the ground and have girls stand over them and drop ingredients into the guys mouths.
Banana, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, nuts, cherry. You can blindfold the girls. Put garbage bag on guys and use
drop clothes, also have towels to clean them up with. "Bananaman" (superhero) could sell this skit. Also, music in
background involving food-Ice Cold, Bananaman theme (Green Hornet).
59. Ice Cube Race Minutes
Pass an ice cube down several people’s back. The ice cube is passed out at the bottom of one guy’s shirt into the top
of the next shirt. If it falls, start over. Make it a two or three team relay.
60. Newspaper Smash Minutes
Get 2 or 3 couples. (If possible get tall guys and short girls). Tie the boy’s right wrists to the girls left wrists. Blindfold
the girls first, then boys. After the boys are blindfolded, remove the girls’ blindfolds. Give each a rolled newspaper and
tell them on the signal to "smash" each other. The boys can’t understand why they are getting smashed but have a
hard time trying to find the target.
61. Eat That Food Minutes
Just like "Name That Tune". Two students add one ingredient one at a time to a cracker trying to outbid each other to
eat the cracker. They can pick up to 10 gross ingredients. "I can eat that cracker with sardines." "I can eat that cracker
with sardines and jalapenos…."
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A great game show host can really spice this one up along with some fun sound effects from a CD. You may even do
two pairs and then a championship round with different foods. Have a bucket or a bag just in case there is a surprise
ending.
62. Egg Blow 1 and 2 Minutes
Get some half-inch clear plastic tubing. Use a funnel to pour an egg into it. Two kids standing five feet apart try to blow
egg into opponent’s mouth. A leader must hold the tube so kids don’t blow it into the crowd. Also have towels to clean
off. Or, do the same set-up as above only set it up ahead of time so the tube gets pointed at a leader’s face at the last
second.
63. Licorice Race Minutes
Choose three guy/girl couples (this is a safe minutes for a couple if one of the two is shy and would never want to be
up front alone). Tie a Lifesaver in the middle of a long (or two pieces) piece of licorice. Guy and girl at each end race to
eat the licorice and Lifesaver first without using their hands. If it drops on the floor they must get it without using their
hands.
This sell could be done by a Dr. Love, Antonio Amore character and is good near dances and homecoming. Any weird
love song or song about kissing will do, or just your love character’s theme music. Also could be done with kids up front
and the Lifesaver at the end of on piece of licorice per person and race to eat it first.
64. Dueling Candle Minutes
For this minutes you will need to figure out a way to connect a candleholder (preferably with three candles in each)
onto some type of helmet. Choose four kids and have them stand 10 feet away from each other. Give them squirt guns
to try to put out the others’ fire. You may want to hand them bigger and bigger guns (up to a Super-Soaker) until
someone wins. Have two semi-final rounds and a final round. Sitting on their knees is best. Music Billy Joel "we didn’t
start the fire", "Come on baby light my fire", etc. or maybe even theme song from the movie The Good, The Bad, and
The Ugly. Obviously a challenge to a duel will be a good sell. Have towels, know your water supply, and you will need
two very good lighters.
65. Cowboy King Minutes
Get five or more guys to be blindfolded horses, and five girls to be riders. The rider has a cup of ice (ammo), which she
puts in the horse’s mouth. The rider guides the horse by pulling on its ears. The only command they can yell is "FIRE."
When this command is yelled, the horse spits the ice from its mouth and tries to hit an opponent. The rider reloads her
horse with ice. If a rider gets hit twice, she is out. If it is a hard floor have kneepads for guys. Use western music.
66. Face-to-Face Balloon Relay Minutes
Buy about 5-6 rolls of thick (foam mounted) double sided sticky tape. Make 2 teams of 4, can be battle of classes,
sexes, whatever. Cover each person’s face with the double sided tape (1 strip down nose, across forehead, on cheeks,
down chin, etc., and place a large, yet not completely filled balloon on the first person in each line. The object of the
game is to jam your face into the persons next to you and pass the balloon down without using your hands. If it falls to
the floor, have that next person go on the floor and jam their face in the balloon to pick it back up. Try this once on your
own, you may want the relay to go down and back. An Antonio Amore, Dr. Love, relationship doctor could sell it, any
music with a romantic flair could work in background. Keep the crowd cheering!
67. Lifesavers On The Face Minutes
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Choose three couples. Each girl gets three roles of Lifesavers and two minutes to lick, stick, and arrange them on the
guy’s face. Have the audience vote for the winning team. You may make a lifesaver hat out of a foam circle, spraypainted to add to the decor. You may also consider having 2 girls per guy decorate.
68. Banana Stab Minutes
Get two kids; tie their left hands together and give each one a banana. They must peel the banana with one hand and
stab the other guy in the face. Possibly try it blindfolded for round two.
69. Couples Eat Carmel Apples On A String Minutes
Choose one couple from each class. Tie carmel apples to a string tied to a broom handle and get someone to hold it
for each couple. They race to see which couple can eat the apple the fastest. Fake starting and stop once to add
chocolate syrup, then again to add whipped cream and last to blindfold the contestants.
70. Girls Put On Guys’ Football Uniforms Minutes
Two small girls race to put on the biggest guys’ uniforms. Take all pads out of pockets and include chewed mouth
guard. To add more action, have whoever is in the uniform the fastest grab a football and run it to the finish line. They
may end up tackling one another to get to the finish. Marching band fight song music will add to atmosphere with kids
cheering.
71. Balloon Pop Relay Minutes
Pick two teams of three guys and three girls. Race to see which team can run up as a couple and pop a balloon by
hugging. A leader places between them. Go through the line a couple of times fast. End with a water balloon. Perhaps
you could sell this one as a slam dancing idea.
72. Guys Make Wine Minutes
Put three pounds of grapes in each of two coolers. Let two guys crush the grapes with their bare feet for two minutes.
See who makes the most juice. For a tie-breaker, have the guys drink the juice. Have a measuring cup and big
glasses.
73. Girls Sign Guys’ Feet Minutes
Five guys have three minutes to see how many girls they can get to sign their bare feet. Maybe use permanent
markers.
74. Feed Through Pantyhose Minutes
Guys put pantyhose over their head. Girls feed guys through pantyhose. Use: applesauce, cottage cheese, pudding,
orange-juice with pulp. The guys spit the food into a cup to measure. Maybe this could be a relay or a cooking show
deal.
75. Neck Passing Relay Minutes
Pass objects chin-to-neck down and back guy/girl lines. Use an orange, frozen vegetable package, water balloon.
Obviously this one could be a Dr. Love sell on how to teach people to "neck".
76. Jelly Beans In Ice Water Minutes
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Students fish jelly beans out of ice water with their toes. Have them eat them?!
Or have the girls fish out jelly beans with toes out of ice water and feed to guys. Three couples race.
77. Ice Stuffing Contest Minutes
Choose three guys and have them weigh in (have a good scale). Two girls stuff each guy’s clothes with ice cubes for
one minute. The guy with the most weight gain wins. You will need 20 pounds of ice per guy and big coolers to dump
ice into afterward. Best done outside.
78. Ice Cream Feed Minutes
Have pairs lie down head to head and feed ice cream to the person behind them. The first team to empty their bowls
wins.
79. Thread Frozen Freeze Pop or Spoon Minutes
Punch a hole in the end of frozen freeze pop. Tie it to 20 feet of string. Each team member passes the freeze pop
down his/her sleeve and out his/her pant leg. Also can be done with an extension cord and the goal is to plug in a lamp
or strobe light at the end of the line.
80. Funnel In Pants Minutes
This is the cruelest skit ever. Have a kid lean his/her head back and balance a penny on his/her nose, then drop the
penny into a funnel in his/her pants. Then do it again with arms out at sides, then on one leg, possibly blindfolded. Pick
three kids. Let them watch each other, but with the third kid, pour water into a funnel the last time. Only do this to a
mature kid. You may want suspense music in the background such as 2001 Space Odyssey theme.
81. Speed Identification Minutes
You will need two card tables, three large sheets, five buckets and four note cards with words on them (eat pickles,
moist towelette, anti-fungal ointment). Put the tables in a row with a space in the middle for a head to fit through. Cover
the tables with sheets all the way to the ground. Cut a hole in the middle sheet for a head to fit through. Put cards on
the table with a bucket over each and cover the leader’s (or senior’s) head with a bucket
Choose two or three kids and send them out of the room. One at a time, the kids lift a bucket and read the cards as
fast as possible. The leader or senior screams when their bucket is lifted. The last kid double crosses the leader or
senior and pies their head. This could be done with different balls underneath that kids need to identify. You may want
to play music as you reset for each kid. You may consider having the contestant facing the audience and the head
under the bucket with the back of the head to the audience for the first one’s so that the audience can see the face of
the person who gets startled. Then, for the last kid, tell the kid under the bucket to spin and face the audience because
you want them to see how great he/she is doing (that way the crowd gets the best of both.) Also, coach your last kid to
pie him/her from behind or the side so the crowd can see it best. A psychologist character could sell this as a test. You
may want music in-between as you have to reset for each kid.
82. Speed Identification 2 Minutes
This one is on the crowd. Use the same set-up and concept as the speed identification above only use the following
objects in order; a baseball bat, a basketball, a soccer ball or a football, the person’s head with a LARGE WIG on, NOT
facing the audience. The first contestants are the same as the original; however, your last person is a plant along
WITH the person under the bucket or bag. The last person, quickly and excitedly (they must act really pumped up)
picks up the first bag and grabs the bat, screams "baseball bat," picks up the next bag, screams "basketball" and hits it
hard off the table with the bat (you the panicked leader must play it up and yell to stop them but they are not listening
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and pick up the bucket with the head under it), the person under the bucket has held up a mannequin head or a ball
with a wig on it instead, and the kid screams the person’s name and then whacks the fake "head" with the bat. If done
right, the crowd will freak.
83. Ninja Head Spin Minutes
Use four contestants. This is great for a battle of the classes. Two contestants face off by putting knee high pantyhose
with a tennis ball inside over their head, but not their nose. Both bow to each other and then move their head in a
circular motion to get the ball flying in a circle and try to wrap the hose of the opponent and their ball. When they think
they have them wrapped together, they yank back their head and pull the hose off their opponent’s head, winning the
round. To sell this skit, you may have 2 ninja characters come in and demonstrate it (Demonstrating this will go much
further than explaining it - you must try it once to understand - it really works and is pretty funny watching them hitting
each other with the ball as they try to wrap the opponents ball).
84. Oreos or Peanut Butter Crackers on Plexiglass Minutes
Put Oreos open faced on sheets of plexiglass. Choose two to four kids and blindfold them. They must race to smash
their face up against the glass and lick off the Oreos. Have extra open-faced Oreos ready for when they knock them
off. It helps to have the plexiglass framed so that it does not wobble too much. Peanut butter on crackers may be a little
more sticky.
85. Milk The Latex Glove Minutes
Two to four kids race to see who is the best at milking rubber gloves. Set up the gloves on saw-horses or around
chests of guys on all fours for the cow. Make very small pin holes in the tips of the fingers of the gloves. Have a
measuring cup to see who wins and a container for each to milk into. Play cow sound effects and country music in the
background. A dairy man could sell this one.
86. Sponge On The Back of The Head Relay Minutes
Pick four teams. Seat the pie tins on chairs. Tie a sponge to back of the kid’s heads with a bandanna (it’s even better if
you can really attach the sponge to the bandannaotherwise it slides too easily). Race to see who can get the most
water from a five gallon bucket into the tin in two minutes by pressing their sponge into the tin. Students can only use
hands to hold tin on lap. Any goofy love song will work for background music. Sponge man or toilet paper man could
sell this minutes as an absorbent picker upper.
87. Mock Spelling Bee Minutes
This is designed to get you, the leader. It begins by having someone challenge you to a spelling bee. Four kids come
up front to challenge you one a time to a power Young Life spelling bee. The game goes as follows: one kid at a time
steps up and is given an object (for example an egg) and your leader asks them to spell egg. If they do it correctly, they
get to put the object on you. If incorrectly, they do not (Obviously by now you will have an egg on your head). Then it is
your chance to spell and put something on them, only you are set up each time. For example, your leader may hold up
a can of coke to which you excitedly blurt out "coke…c-o-k-e…coke" only to have your leader tell you that is not the
word, instead, they read the toughest ingredient on the can (phenylcarbonhydronate acid or whatever) you miss. The
next kid steps up and spells another object (oatmeal, syrup, bananas all work). Each time you get drilled and each time
you spell back you lose.
Whoever is running the game may trick you in other ways, for example, silent "p’s" whatever. A good ender is for them
to give you one that you can get right, you in disbelief stare and take aminute to try to guess the catch…then you
slowly spell the easy word…on the second to last letter your leader looks at their watch, interrupts saying "whoop, you
time has expired, but thanks for playing" and takes off. Your reactions, facial expressions, and acting ability will make
or break this one!
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88. Family Feud Minutes
Pass out questionnaires the week before asking for things like favorite teacher, etc. Plan Family Feud based on the
answers. You can also make questions up. Develop a final bonus round with prizes. Your host will mean a lot and you
will want to have cheesy music and an announcer to "tell them what they can win."
Young Life Family Feud Questionnaire
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
The first thing you do when you get up is ______________________________________________.
Where do you go on a date? _________________________________________________________.
What rule do your parents have that you would change? ___________________________________.
Name the place you would go on vacation. ______________________________________________.
What is your favorite Olympic sport? __________________________________________________.
All of a sudden you are given $1000, what is the first thing that you would buy?
________________________________________________________________________________.
Name the hottest, most with-it MTV video. _____________________________________________.
The fastest kind of car is ____________________________________________________________.
Your favorite fast-food place is _______________________________________________________.
Name an English-speaking country ____________________________________________________.
Your favorite flavor of ice cream is ____________________________________________________.
The #1 video game is _______________________________________________________________.
Your favorite brand of peanut butter is _________________________________________________.
The hottest name in car stereo/"tunes" is _______________________________________________.
Name a yellow fruit or vegetable ______________________________________________________.
89. Stupid Human Tricks Minutes
Announce these ahead of time. Include all the weird things kids can do (roll tongue three times, dislocate body parts,
burp the National Anthem). Screen the volunteers before they go on stage and help them be great at what they do.
90. Wheel Of Misfortune Minutes
Run this like a game show with a wheel that has things like "pie in the face" and some possible good things like "$25
off camp." Contestants get whatever the wheel land on. Play music from TV game shows. Have the prizes planned out.
91. The Almost Wed Game Minutes
Pick four dating couples. Send the guys out of the room, ask the girls embarrassing questions like, "Where did you go
on your first date?" or "How would you rate your first kiss 1-10?" Write down the girls’ answers. Bring in the guys and
ask them to answer the way that they think their girlfriend would have answered. Your game show host and cheesy
game show music may make or break this one. Take time to prepare and do it right.
92. Christmas Carols with Helium Minutes
The leaders or five big kids dress in choir robes and sing Christmas carols taking hits of helium balloons. You may also
do Little Nemo set-up and dress them as elves with Santa. It is funny if they sing both individually at times and together
as a punch line. Keep the biggest kid with the funniest voice for last so the anticipation builds for him/her to sing.
Costumes mean a lot for this one and a good way to suck the helium out of the balloons. Have two balloons per person
in case one breaks or something. Also, be careful, if kids suck a lot too fast they may faint. You may want them sitting
down.
93. Dance Or Dare Minutes
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Sell this as a cheesy game show. Contestants are brought up front with a game show host and his assistant. They are
given the choice to Dance or Dare. They then draw a card from the appropriate pile. If they choose to dance, they are
given a dance and a costume (disco outfit, hand jive, chicken dance). The dares are similar (sing an Elvis song — Elvis
style). Obviously this takes thoughtful preparation and some outgoing kids.
94. Pavlov’s M&M Training Minutes
Choose two to three couples. Send the guys out of the room and then tell the girls that they will "train" their guys to do
a certain action using only M&M’s as reward and nothing else. Bring the guys down and explain that they will be
rewarded as they move towards the correct action. Give each a different action like getting a guy to sit down and take
his shoes off or stand on a chair and bark.
95. Alka-Seltzer Poem Minutes
Guy reads a mushy poem to a freshman girl. Place two Alka-Seltzers and a couple of breath mints in his mouth ahead
of time. Foams like a rabid dog.
96. Kazzo Band Minutes
Pick three teams of four kids. Send them out to choreograph and practice a Christmas carol on kazoo. Give each
group a different song and make sure there is a leader in each group.
97. Surgical Gloves on Head Minutes
Several kids pull surgical gloves over their head down over their nose, but not mouth. Inflate the gloves by inhaling
through mouth and exhaling through nose. Hold onto sides with hands. Pull on by getting on forehead first, then
pulling: back, over, and down. A doctor may be involved in this sell. Music in the background with kids cheering them
on is a must.
98. Name that Tune with Marshmallows (or Squirt Guns) Minutes
Four guys versus four girls. Use music. One person from each team steps up with a big pot on their head and a big
spoon in their hand. When they think they know the answer they beat on their heads for a bell. If the answer is correct
each member of the other team puts a marshmallow in their mouth. If the answer is wrong, that person’s team puts one
marshmallow in their mouth, and if the other team gets the answer right, they put an additional marshmallow in their
mouth. If it is going too slow, you can have bonus rounds with double penalties in which anyone on the team can take
a spoon and guess. This can also be done with a kazoo or any other music. Obviously a great sell is a good game
show host. Also, you can do this game with squirt guns where you do one girl vs. one guy at a time. Each person has a
squirt gun and squirts the other person until they get the answer right.
99. Pie Roulette Minutes
Six kids in a circle pass a pie around. When the music stops, the kid with the pie has the choice of pieing the person on
their right or himself. If the kid pies another kid he’s out. If he pies himself, he stays in. If they all pie themselves add
honey to the pie, or Spam, or whatever it takes. Use marshmallow fluff for the pies.
100. World’s Most Dehumanizing Minutes
Fill nylons with applesauce or honey. Pull them over guys’ heads. The first one to eat all the stuff wins. Wow we are
reaching on this one!
101. Donut Olympics, Gargle Olympics Minutes
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This could include munchkin toss into the mouth, pass the donut on a toothpick, and roll a donut with the nose. You
could also do Olympic gargling. Have kids come up for events such as: gargle as long as possible without stopping to
breathe, or have them gargle a familiar song.
102. Face Decorating Minutes
Have guys lie on their backs and let girls decorate their faces with icing, candy sprinkles and candles. Let the crowd
choose the best face.
103. Find Your Man Minutes
Blindfold three girls and have them feel the legs of four guys (or maybe even sneak in a girl to see their reaction) to see
if they can identify their guy.
104. Marshmallow Necklace Minutes
Tie marshmallow necklaces around three couples of people tightly. Then have them eat the marshmallows off each
other’s necks except for the last one. That one they must eat off their own neck. The first group to finish wins.
105. Spaghetti Hairdoo Minutes
Have three guys give three girls (or vice versa) a "haircut" by dumping spaghetti on their heads. Give them scissors
and a comb and let them create a hairdo. You may use chefs uniforms or and Italian hair expert to combine the ideas
for a sell. Have background music (Italian, Respect, etc).
106. Women’s Arm Wrestling with Pillow Battle Finale Minutes
Just like it sounds, have a semifinal and a final round or women’s arm wrestling. Then, you may want to have your
female champion take on the biggest guy you have, not in arm wrestling, but in a pillow battle. Give them each a pillow
and explain that they will each get three chances to hit each other. Blindfold them both and tell them they must keep
one foot still, although they may dodge the hit however else they want. First they must ask the question "Are you
there?" and the other answers "I am here." When it is all explained, un-blindfold the girl, but leave the guy blindfolded,
therefore the girl will be able to dodge the hits, but the guy won’t. After the guy misses once, put the blindfold back on
the girl, and show the guy that she is still right there. Then re-blindfold him and do the same thing again.
107. Balloon Tri-Athlon Minutes
Three kids compete in three events. Have them blow up a balloon until it breaks. Have them blow up a balloon not
using their hands, only their mouths. Have them blow up a balloon only using their nostrils.
108. Spamanimals Minutes
Creativity at a whole new level. Bring up teams of two to three people and give each team a platform and three cans of
Spam. Have a sculpting contest and see what you get.
109. Skateboard and Plunger Relay Minutes
Choose teams of four. This is good for class competition. Racers sit on skateboards and use plungers as oars in a
relay race. Use music in the background. Obviously works best outside.
110. Pillow Jousting Minutes
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Four guys and four girls (possibly pair up classes). Senior versus sophomore, then junior versus freshman, then
championship round. Each girl will be on the back of her guy who is on all fours. The key rule: the girl’s feet cannot
touch the ground at any time; she must keep them wrapped around the guy. Give each girl a pillow and let them try to
knock each other off! Call the feet rule close and the championship round will be better. The guys cannot knock each
other over, only the girls. You may want to put helmets on the girls. A medieval jousting uniform would be great for a
sell and music in the background will do a lot for this one.
111. Shaving Cream Hairdoo Minutes
Hand out one can of shaving cream per couple. The guys spray into girl’s hair and sculpt a hairdo (or vice versa). The
crowd votes on winners. You may want to give a hint to a few kids ahead of time in secret-create an Abe Lincoln look,
punk rocker spiked do, Mickey Mouse ears, Roman headgear. A hairdresser or fashion consultant character could sell
this event. Background music You Are so Beautiful or something heart wrenching about beauty.
112. Egg Roulette Minutes
Get one dozen eggs (four raw, eight hard-boiled). Two people alternate picking an egg and smashing it on the other
person’s head. You may want to choose four people and have two rounds and a final round.
In the final round, have six eggs (five hard-boiled and one raw) and hold them in a bowl above their heads to pick. Put
your finger on the raw egg and before club explain the skit to all four contestants (because you don’t know who will be
in the finals).
Play the first round for real (possibly girls versus girl, guy versus guy, and battle of sexes for the final round) and in final
round they pick the hard-boiled eggs five in a row (because you told them not to pick the one with your finger on it till
last). Each time you are really in their faces to nail one another, when the final egg is up in the final round you are
going crazy only to have the finalist smash it on your head! Make a kid a hero!
113. Girls Make Up Guys Blindfolded Minutes(or vice versa)
Blindfolded girl applies make-up to guy. Use three or four groups. Have it go in stages: first, you can really save this
skit with good wigs for the guys (they will look much funnier with them on), eye shadow, cheek powder, lipstick. Have
good music in background…Theme from Wonder Woman works or Aretha Franklin’s Respect. Have kids vote for
winner, and have towels for guys to wash off. This is a great skit to sell before homecoming or prom…play up the fact
that guys get ready in five minutes for dances and do not appreciate all the work the girls do. You may even have the
guys hold goofy corsages.
114. Egg Drop, Toothpaste Drop or M&M Drop Mnutes
Guys lie on floor with a Dixie cup in their mouth. Girls sit on another guy’s shoulders and crack eggs on his forehead,
then drop the eggs into the cup. Each team gets three eggs. The team with most in their cup wins. You may want a
glass measuring cup to pour contents of the cups in to determine who wins. You will need a drop cloth under the guys,
towels to protect their clothing and more towels for them to clean up with. Buy the huge jumbo eggs for a better effect.
You will need a container to collect the shells quickly. Obviously a sell involving basketball will be a natural. You may
want the Globe Trotter’s theme in the background and a funny kid calling play-by-play; or possibly a sell with an
Oriental chef making Egg Drop Soup who encourages aerating the eggs.
Similar minutes can be done with toothpaste and coke bottles on the chest, or a bottle to be filled with water using a
sponge. Another version uses M&M’s. The girls pick them up by sucking through a straw and them try to the drop them
into their partner’s mouth.
115. Tape Head Minutes
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Place ski masks (or nylons over their heads) on two to three kids and wrap their head with duct tape, sticky side out
(this will take some time-think through what else can be going on as they do this-comp sell, club cards, whatever). Put
a bunch of objects on the floor or a table (we want kids to see them going for it). Use different sizes of objects such as
yearn, paper clips, ping pong balls, Whiffle balls and bats, fuzzy dice. The kids roll around or head bang for one minute
to collect items. The one with most items on his/her head wins. You may consider selling this minutes as a Young Life
version of "head banging" dancing. Have heavy metal music in the background and for the sell, folks can come in slam
dancing.
116. Tape Head 2 Minutes
Use the same set-up as in previous Tape Head minutes. Only use glow in the dark objects (glow necklaces, glow
sticks-often bought through the Oriental Trading Company or at camping and outdoor stores) and have them do the
skit in a blackout. It can be a wild visual minutes with a completely dark room and kids who are going after it. See
previous minutes for details. You may for a sell have your "sell" person come in the dark lit up like a Christmas tree.
117. Cheese-ball Spitting
This is a great minutes for a battle of the sexes or classes. Have tow contestants sit in chairs two feet apart with their
hands behind their backs. Cover their faces with shaving cream, making sure that it is thick so that the cheese-balls will
stick in the cream. You may consider using goggles on each, also make sure that you have plenty of towels to clean up
with and something to cover their clothes. Once positioned and covered in shaving cream, each contestant is "fed" by
a partner with a can of cheese-balls…the contestants then spit the cheese-balls at each other trying to stick as many
as possible to their opponent. Obviously make sure their partners are feeding them from behind so not to block the
audience; they may feed on cheese-ball at a time. Background music is must. Play for two minutes. Strobe lights might
work too.
118. Alka-Seltzer On The Head Dueling Minutes
You may run this minutes as a four-person tournament. Two contestants, each armed with a squirt gun, will take five
paces and turn to duel. On each of their foreheads, you will have attached an Alka-seltzer tablet with double stick tape
(possibly use big rubber bands if tape doesn’t work). They draw and shoot the water at each other, the first on to
dissolve the tablet on the other wins. You may need to use goggles for each to protect their eyes. The tablet will fizz
and foam all over the place. Make sure you have towels for them to clean up with afterward. Obviously, a western song
and some cowboys or cowgirls could sell this one.
119. Marker Fencing 1 and 2 Minutes
Dress two contestants in white tee shirts and white sweats. It will add a lot if you could get your hands on some fencing
headgear as well. Take tow big black markers duct-taped to the end of two strong dowel rods (bought at any hardware
store) and they duel. The person to make the most marks of at least on half inch long wins. You can order glow in the
dark pens, follow the same directions, and then turn out the lights to determine your winner. Background music will be
a must, and white gloves and socks can help highlight the uniforms! Fence away!
120. Gladiator Sumo Wrestling Minutes
You may have done this one at camp. Get six large inner-tubes, and tape three together in a stack so a person can fit
inside. Take a piece of rope about 32 inches long and cut it into four pieces…tie them into circles, and then tape two at
the bottom of each stack of inner-tubes so they can be used as handles. Borrow two football helmets. Then create a
ring on the floor with string, tape, chalk, whatever.
Have both contestants wear a helmet, step into their three tube protective uniform (holding the handles on the bottom
tube) and they try to push each other out of the ring. The first person to go outside the ring with both feet or to fall down
loses.
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This is obviously a very aggressive minutes, but it does blow away kids’ stereotypes. You may use sumo type music,
salt over the shoulder, the whole bit for the sell. Of course outside is best.
121. Human Christmas Tree Minutes
Each class decorates someone with ornaments, garland, tinsel, popcorn, lights. Plug them in for the finale and vote for
winners. You must have a lot of lights and great ornaments to make this one worth it. Think through how to hang the
ornaments (for example, putting old sweats on each kid so they can hook them in the sweats and not ruin their
clothes). Music while decorating is a must.
122. Kix or Trix Blow Out the Nose Minutes
You may use a bunch of kids in this one. The sell will mean a lot as well. I suggest maybe a take-off of a track event
such as the long jump. You could sell it with the Chariots of Fire song and slow motion runners dressed in ridiculous
track uniforms with numbers or Roman uniforms.
Each kid steps up to a starting line, places a Kix in one nostril. Then they will run a few feet, stop in front of another line
(or long jump board), and blow the Kix as far as possible into the "pit."
The folks you used to sell the minutes can mark the Kix and use a tape measure to give you an immediate reading.
The longest blow wins! Any good Rocky music or sporting music would help.
123. Pie Eating Contest Minutes
Two to four students race. Sit at a table with a pie and a fork. Say, "On your marks, get set…" then stop and take away
their forks. Repeat and add whipped cream. The last time, have them put their hands behind their back. These must be
kids that will go for it. Have a drop cloth and towels to clean up. Play music in background.
124. Talk or Get Squirted Minutes
Give an outgoing kid a topic like belly button lint. He/she must talk about it for two minutes. If he/she stops or repeats
him/herself, he/she gets squirted. These must be funny kids who can really talk. For a sell on this one you may use a
"valley girl" character who just talks and talks non-stop interrupting club. You may consider giving the kid a bullhorn or
microphone so kids can hear him/her.
125. Marble in Clear Tubing Minutes
Wrap 15 feet of clear tubing around a small girl. Have three different pairs of guys get three marbles from one end and
out the other by lifting and spinning the girl. The fastest time wins. If you have the bucks to buy two lengths of tube, it
may be better to do two groups at once racing. Background song I’m All Shook Up, Twist and Shout. For a sell you
may consider a girl coming in with 20 hula hops talking about how she just loves to hula hoop and has a three
dimensional version of hula hooping.
126. Wheelbarrow Eating Race Minutes
Get three couples. Set out line of food items beginning with small stuff (M&M pile) and get larger (Jello or a plate with
Spam). The girls wheelbarrow the guys down the row as the guys eat the items. Play music in the background and
have towels to clean up with. For a sell you may have a girl wheelbarrow in a guy in total crash uniform gear and have
him crash and burn into crowd. You, being the helpful leader, decide to teach them how to do it Young Life style.
127. Sell What’s in the Bag Minutes
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Take three people out of the room. Tell the crowd to ask questions to figure out what’s in the bag. Bring one kid in and
tell him/her to really sell what’s in the bag without giving away what it is. Crowd knows it’s toilet paper (or underwear).
While the kid is out of the room, tell him/her that there is gum in the bag. Fire him/her up for the hard sell, you may
even consider him a salesman uniform (sport coat, hat). Announce him like he is a 60-second infomercial. This deal
could be a spin-off of those famous TV infomercials. Use your imagination!
128. Dancing Musical Chairs Minutes
Get six volunteers and have five chairs up front. Tell them that they are gong to play musical chairs, but this being
Young Life, we do dancing musical chairs. Tell them that they will have to dance, dance, dance when the music starts.
Blindfold them and starts the music. Encourage other kids to cheer them on. After a couple of rounds, pull blindfolds off
all kids but one. Cheer like mad and let them dance and scramble for seat. Keep it up till they figure it out.
129. Psychological Sit-Up Minutes
"Hypnotize" three people so they can’t do a blindfolded sit up. The first two are in on it. They strain but don’t do a situp. The third sits up into a pie. Or, you can challenge them to do 10 sit-ups in 10 seconds, five of them with their eyes
closed.
130. Caramel Onion Minutes
This is great around Halloween. Get an onion and cover it with caramel coating. Pick three students to race to finish a
caramel apple-one is the onion.
131. Pin The Tail Minutes
Say you are playing pin the tail on the donkey but you forgot the tails, so have kids use their finger. Play normally but
hold a jar of peanut butter in front of wherever the kids are going to put their finger.
132. Sit On Lap Talk Minutes
Have a guy sit on a girl’s lap and try to talk her out of putting pie in his face. Clue girl in to let him go for a while. This
works well with dating couples.
133. Charcoal Marshmallows Minutes
Give two kids a bowl of small marshmallows. They have to feed the other person their marshmallows, blindfolded. As
you are blindfolding them, switch the marshmallows with charcoal covered ones (you can get charcoal capsules), have
them begin feeding each other the marshmallows. They will cover each other’s face.
134. Thar’s a Bar Minutes
The leaders’ exaggerated expression is the key to this one. Have a row of five to six kids pass the phrase, "Thar’s a
bar!" "Whar!" "Over thar!" and a hand motion down the row. Start with one arm point then add second arm, then point
with two arms and a leg. End down on one knee with tow arms pointing. The leader pushes the kids over domino style
at the end.
If you know you are doing this ahead of time, goofy hats and costumes like you are going on a hike will help the
atmosphere. Also, heavy backpacks will get students off balance easier. The sell is a Bar Drill instead of a Fire Drillmake them sound the same.
135. I Went to Paris Minutes
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This skit works much like "Thar’s A Bar". The leader must practice and do a great job of having fun with his/her
volunteers. Line up four other people with your leader and explain that one at a time they will pass down the line what
you will do. It begins, "Hey Karina, I wet to Paris and brought back a yo-yo" (you move your left arm up and down as if
yo-yoing). They will pass to the next person in the same way…have fun with them…make them do it exactly as you do,
even moving their arms up and down at your pace.
Then the second round goes: "Hey Karina, I went to Paris and brought back some scissors." (Working your right hand
like a pair of scissors, opening and closing your index and middle fingers at a different pace than the yo-yo motion you
keep going…very difficult and funny to watch them try to do).
Third round, "Hey Karina, I went to Paris and brought back an arm exerciser" (keeping the yo-yo going and the
scissors going, you take your scissors arm and move it back and forth across your body).
You can keep going with others, even use same type of ending as in "Thar’s A Bar" if you want.
136. Hobby Hoax Minutes
Send three kids out of the room and tell them to think of their favorite hobby. While they are out of the room, explain tot
he crowd that we all know that everyone’s favorite hobby is kissing, so let’s find out about their kissing. When the kid
enters the room ask him questions about his favorite hobby, (Where do you like to do it? With whom? Why do you like
it so much or what’s your favorite part?).
137. Girls Wrestle For Guys Minutes
Like musical chairs. Four guys sitting on chairs in a line facing out with five girls standing. Girl must be in guy’s lap with
arms around his neck when music stops. Possibly have 4 freshman or sophomore guys sitting on chairs in a line facing
out with 5 upper class girls. Play musical chairs. Play up "fighting to the death for your man". Make a world champion
belt for them to wear the rest of the night, possibly put the names of past winners on it so that it can become a yearly
tradition that kids look forward to for club. You may even include the last guy’s name as well. Use a big time wrestler
uniform and music for the sell.
138. Chubby Bunnies Minutes
Several kids in line stuff one marshmallow in mouth at a time and say "Chubby Bunnies" then they stuff in another
marshmallow. It can also work good around Easter to use the actual bunny-shaped marshmallow’s that are out around
then. The last one who can say "chubby bunnies" with marshmallows in mouth wins. A possible trophy would be a
giant bunny made of marshmallows, keep girl and guy records of how many they held along with past winners on
trophy. Use a giant rabbit costume or marshmallow man for the sell.
139. Human Bowling Minutes
Go to local bowling alleys and ask for 12 old pins, they should be able to give you some as they get beat up fairly often.
Get a "creeper"(sled on wheels used to slide under a car to due maintenance), or some other sled on wheels. Get a
motorcycle helmet. Put girls on the sled with the helmet on and have them put their hands behind their back and let a
guy (or vice versa the guy and girl thing) "bowl" them down into the set of 10 pins (they must be spread out well, you
will need to practice to see how far). Usually bowl 3 competitors and let them do a frame a piece. You will need 2 folks
to set the pins up again quickly and one to catch them so they don’t go through the pins and head first into the wall.
Most good sleds can really move up to 20-30 feet or so, so have a good runway. There are great sound effect CD’s
with bowling sounds for the background. Also, you have the two extra pins - paint them gold and do them up right into
trophies, give one to keep and put the names of the winners on the other as your running trophy. For a sell, have a
"human cannonball" fly in on the sled and smack the pins (helmet, chest protector, goggles, shin guards, elbow pads,
etc.).
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140. Turkey Bowling Minutes
This can be great thanksgiving tradition. See pin directions above. Also get a 14-16 pound frozen turkey and drill 3
holes in it where they would be placed in a ball. Same game as above skit. Have 3 contestants bowl a frame. You may
want to put down cheap black plastic (at any hardware store) for an alley. Also please have someone at the end of the
pins to catch the turkey or you may put a nice hole in a wall. There are chicken dance songs to be played in
background or even a kid who hunts may be able to make turkey calls for your background. For a trophy, you may be
able to make a turkey out of an old bowling ball (body) and pin (as the head). Use feathers and a red sock as a goblet
and paint the ball with winners names. This sell is obviously the job for any turkey!
141. Jello Or Food Twister Minutes
Best done when it’s warm outside so that when it’s over kids can hose down. This one is very messy. Get a square of
cheap plastic and attach pin tins in a 4 x 4 grid by pushing a pull clip through the bottom of the pans and plastic, and
then spreading out the clips under the plastic to hold them down. You then may fill them with Jello (already made) right
before club. Have a good spinner and kids who will go for it. Play in bare feet. This trophy may be a plaque that looks
like a twister board with a past winner in each circle. "The Twist" by Chubby Checker may be background music and
the sell possibly with a kid who can come in with their legs behind their head (those sick twisted individuals!).
142. Belly Flop Into Jello Contest Minutes
This makes a histerical winter time minutes and a huge mess as well. Sell for a belly flop contest. Bring out a couple of
bed mattresses, cover as much as possible with plastic, and then on top of the mattresses have a baby pool with Jello.
Then off a table or high stool, do the best belly flop for points. Be careful with where you do this one.
143. Shaving Cream And Cheese Ball Minutes
Pull two guys up front and cover their face except eyes and mouth with shaving cream (or possibly chests also). Divide
the room in half and toss out bags of cheese balls into the crowd (be aware, this is not good on carpet). On the count
of three start music and let both sides of the room throw cheese balls at their guy, count the number sticking on them
to see which side of the room wins. Possible sell, have a couple of seniors convince leaders to sit in the chairs (or
maybe run on characters), this may be a good one for kids to get you! Kids may have a blast as you relinquish your
"adult" rights and let them throw at you, or they may just feel sorry for you in which case this is a stupid idea! Another
sell may be cheese heads (like Green Bay Packer fans) coming in throwing cheese balls into one another’s mouths.
144. Musical Food Minutes
Put an apple, and onion, and tomato, etc. in separate lunch bags in front of everyone. Mix them up, throw them out into
crowd, start music. When music stops whoever has a bag takes a bite. You may need referees to declare who had it
when the music stopped. The number of objects will obviously depend on size of club. Try to think of great objects!
145. Speed Kissing Minutes
Seven kids, guy then girl then guy, etc. line up with sharp girl (your hero) at the end. Kids face sideways and turn to
next kid passing a kiss on the cheek to the next person after they have received their kiss on the cheek. The third time
the leader behind the last girl gives her a pie behind her back. She pies the guy in front of her when he wheels around
to plant one on her cheek. For a sell, you may want to invent a character of a "love" counselor (i.e. Dr. Love, Antonio
Amore, Sal the love god, whatever) with theme music. Then when you have skits involving guys and gals, your
character may be a natural "teacher" to sell this minutes.
146. Follow The Moon Minutes
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Three people step up one at a time. Put a flashlight behind a sheet held up by 4 people. Kid follows light with nose to
the beat of music, light moves faster till they can’t keep up. Play for time followed. Third kid has light bring them down
and then up to the upper edge of sheet, when he/she gets there, drop the sheet and pie kid. Can be done in pairs and
make them cross, etc. ALSO, if you think you have done this one and some seniors, etc. may remember it, you may
consider taking the kids out of the room, letting a senior pie the first two kids one at a time. And then when the third kid
steps up and is going, have both the two kids pied and the third ALL have pies and double cross the senior behind the
sheet!
147. Flying On The Ground Minutes
Two guys (that you have filled in on this skit before club) holding a 2x6x4 board. Send 2 girls out of the room and keep
the 3rd to go first. Blind folded girl gets on board and guys lift it two inches off ground. Person in front of girl holding
both of her hands continues kneeling lower, giving illusion to girl that she’s really lifted high. Guys shake board as if
straining. Have suspense music in background and kids cheering to add to confusion. Get the crowd to count to three
and pull her hands as she jumps off. Then do the next two girls. Have the 3rd girl be the one you worry about being
embarrassed the least, since the first two will at least get to see someone else fall for it. This is a great skit for camp
sell - for example, have a kid in a frogman scuba costume with a helmet come in screaming about the blob and how
they need to blob now. Since he/she is so enthusiastic, you think of this blob simulation game.
148. Sponge On The Chair Minutes
Leader dressed as cheerleader (wig, uniform, and two sets of pom poms make it) sitting on chair facing kid in another
chair. Do follow the leader including several stand up-sit down things. You must get them going very fast and be 10
times more enthusiastic than you want them to be. Do three kids one at a time with the others watching and for the last
kid, the last time he/she stands, someone else slips a wet sponge in pie tin on the chair for them to sit on. Note: if you
send 3 kids out of the room and try to get all three, you will need 3 chairs (because they will notice they are wet, and a
way to dry everything fast - kids will notice water). An over enthusiastic cheerleader sell or a sell involving a tribal
initiation or something will also work.
149. Identify Your Friends Minutes
Pull two kids up front and tell them that they will be brought in to identify people in the room, then send them out of the
room. While they are out of the room, hand out grocery bags to everyone, MAKING SURE they don’t open the bags
until you tell them to. Explain to the crowd that you will bring in the contestants, give them one last look at the crowd,
and then will spin them around so that cant’ see the crowd. Then on your instructions the crowd quickly puts on the
bags at once…with _ inch of flour in each one! Think through the mess.
150. You’ve Got Something On Your Forehead Minutes
Take 3 kids out of the room and bring them in one at a time. The leader demonstrates that there is a special skill of
facial movements allowing someone to shake a dime off their forehead without jumping or shaking. Place a dime on
your forehead so it sticks and get the dime to fall off. Then as you go to press this same dime on their forehead, press
hard for 10 seconds and gently take off the coin so it feels to them like its still there. Have them open their eyes and try
to get off the coin that isn’t there. Practice.
151. What Did You Say? Minutes
Send three kids out of the room (choose kids carefully) explain to the crowd that it was recently learned that when
someone is placed in front of a crowd in complete silence, that they will revert back to the experience of their first kiss.
As a matter of fact the first things they will say are the things they said after their first kiss! Therefore, the crowd must
be Completely silent and stare at the person. Don’t leave the poor kid up there for too long.
152. Do As I Do, Not As I Say Minutes
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Pick three kids and send them out of the room. Explain to the crowd that you will be acting something out for the first
person. Bring in the first person. Act something out for them and don’t tell them what it is. They do it for the second
person and the second person does it for the third. Go back and ask what each person thought they were doing.
153. Dating Game Minutes
Have kids put names in a hat the week before and pick four girls and four guys. Line up one guy and girl from another
school to be the contestant. Go over the questions ahead of time to eliminate marginal ones. Video tape the date to
show in club. Campaigners and student leaders plan and execute the date like a progressive dinner in public places.
Have a creative way to chauffeur them around. Interrupt with funny things and don’t leave them alone much since it
can be very awkward for the kids. You may also incorporate commercials through your show.
158. Pantomime A Dump Minutes
Take three kids out of a room. Tell them they will pantomime a motor cross rider, a fan at an exciting game, a roller
coaster ride (or possibly also a bucking bronco) using sounds, no words, and a chair. Whoever is with these kids must
show them how to do it, give them ideas, get them fired up - this time out of the room and the right kids will make or
break this skit. You may want to pull them out and sing one more song just to buy time to teach them how to go for it!
Before they come in one at a time, tell crowd you have actually asked them to pantomime themselves during their best
episode on the toilet. Crowd must cheer them on! For a sell on this one you may consider someone trying to learn the
fine art of "mime".
159. Tush (Butt) Charade Minutes
Have kids spell words to their class using their butts only. You may need to give category. You can also do this one for
time.
160. Whipped Cream Pie Search Minutes
Have a whipped cream pie in front of each kid. Tell them that there are 5 M&M’s in each pie. The first ones to find all
five using only their face will win. But only put 4 M&M’s in each pie.
161. Cheeky, Cheeky Minutes
This minutes is dedicated and sometimes sold by a grandma character. The truth is that we all will be grandmas and
grandpas soon so we need to practice. Bring up 6-7 kids guy girl alternating with a girl at the end (all are in on it before
club except for the last guy before the last girl). Standing in line always facing the audience they quickly relay down the
line a "cheeky, cheeky" (they say it as they squeeze some part of the other persons face between their forefinger and
thumb). When receiving the cheeky cheeky you must close your eyes like you would if grandma was doing it and then
you must relay it quickie to the next person. Do it over and over, faster and faster, but the last girl each time has lipstick
on her fingers and is decorating the face of the guy next to her without him knowing it! He looks goofier and goofier
each time. This must be a kid that can handle it. The girl may need to practice, if it doesn’t work it is usually because
the guy sees stuff on her hand or she leaves a big glob. Have a towel for him to clean up.
162. Will He/She Drink It? Minutes
Mix different concoctions (ice cream, spaghetti sauce, sardine juice, pickle juice, etc.), blindfold kids and ask them if
they will dare to drink concoction. Take pictures of their faces upon contact. Possibly give prizes to the most daring.
163. Pick Your Friend’s Nose Minutes
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Use a huge piece of paper or a sheet and draw three people on it. Cut out the space for their nose. Three people are
chosen from the audience to stick their noses through the holes. The paper has to be big enough to hide their bodies.
The rest of the kids try to see if they can pick their friends nose.
164. Kazoo Band Minutes
3 teams of 4 kids. Send them out after second song to choreograph and practice a Christmas carol on kazoo. Give
each group a different song and make sure there is a leader kid in each group.
165. Alka-Seltzer and Dr. Suess Minutes
Put an Alka-Seltzer in your mouth and read a Dr. Suess story.
166. Alka-Seltzer Romance Minutes
Get about three or four couples. Put an Alka-Seltzer tab on one of the partner’s forehead. Use a rubber band to secure
the tab. Place goggles and garbage bag on that person. Hand a squirt gun to the other partner. On your command
squirt away. Whoever dissolves their Alka-Seltzer tab first wins.
167. Whistle and Burp Minutes
Select three couples to participate. Feed boys five saltine crackers. Girls drink a bottle of coke. On a signal, boys must
eat and whistle. Girls drink coke and burp. First couple to complete both tasks wins.
168. Sushi Minutes
Have a kid (female) come into club dressed as a Gishi girl, holding a large clear bowl with water in it. Pick three kids to
come to front of club. Have them blindfolded dip cup into large bowl. Tell them all to drink the water, set it up as a
contest or something. Right before they put the water to their lips, drop a gummy fish in one or two glasses. Watch the
reaction when the slimy treat touches their lips.
169. Go Fish Minutes
Aluminum roasting pan, (deep)-fill with a few gummy worms and lots of Reddi-Whip whipped cream. Using only faces,
no hands etc, the kid goes fishing for as many Gummi worms as they can locate in a specified amount of time. This
one is messy.
170. Oreo From Forehead To Mouth Minutes
Three or four kids up front twist Oreo open, moisten the creamier side and stick it to their forehead. Then, without using
their hands, they try to slowly contort their faces to maneuver the Oreo down their face and into their mouth. First one
wins. Funny faces!
171. Egg, Sausage, and, Panty Hose Rodeo Minutes
Guys put raw egg inside pantyhose and pull over head. Girls ride piggy-back with half a kielbasa sausage (put the
sausage in pantyhose also or it will break immediately and they will have nothing to swing with). Try to break other
guy’s egg, make sure guys know they cannot hit each other. Four teams, lots of room, knee-pads for guys if it is a hard
floor, and towels to clean up! A cowboy rodeo sell will work. Have some good country wild west music for this ride also!
172. Paintin’ With Your Noggin Minutes
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Three guys with way short hair. Come to front and dip heads in tins filed with chocolate sauce. Others, maybe some
girls, hold large pieces of cardboard for them to draw of write on. Write words. Draw pictures. You get the idea. Use
your imagination.
173. Make Rain Minutes
This minutes involves the whole club, and the larger the better. This may even be a good way to focus attention before
a talk. Explain to everyone that you are going to do something once thought impossible. That with their help you will
make it rain inside.
Divide them into three of four groups right where they are sitting (left, left middle, right middle, and right…sides of the
room) and explain that they MUST be absolutely quiet and watch you tell them what to do for this to work. Then, only
after they are quiet, point to the left side and have them quietly rub their hands together back and forth, then bring in
the next group, the next group until all are doing it (it should get louder as you go).
After the last group has joined in, go back to the first group and get them snapping their fingers, then the next group
and so on. Then back to group one to begin patting their hands on their legs…on to the other groups.
Then back to group one to begin patting harder and stomping their feet on the floor…on then to the other groups.
Then begin to do this process in reverse…back to patting legs, back to snapping, back to rubbing hands, back to
silence. If it is done right, you will hear your rainstorm!
174. Cup Closer Minutes
This is done with partners. The girls lay on the floor with a coke cup on their forehead. The guys put their forehead on
the other end of the cup. From this position the couple must try to stand — then turn the cup around between their
heads without touching the cup with their heads — then they must waltz with the cup between their heads. (Supply
some good waltzing music.)
175. Gag A Napkin Minutes
Here’s a "quickie", just for fun. This game will really liven up even the most boring banquet. Each person opens up a
paper napkin and places a corner of it on his or her tongue. Then have a race to see who gets the complete napkin in
their mouth first.
176. The Shoe Stretch Minutes
Get two old pairs of men’s shoes, take out the strings, punch holes in the back of each show and tie a four-foot piece of
elastic to each. Place shoes on opposite sides of the room and tie other ends of the elastic to the legs of the chair. Two
people get into the shoes — one in each pair — and walk toward each other. Have someone sitting in the chairs to
weight them down, and have them spaced so that the elastic becomes taut just as the two meet each other. The object
is, with the shoes stretching the elastic, to exchange shoes in the fastest time possible and return to the other chair.
Rules: 1. Once one’s foot is taken out of the shoe, it cannot touch the floor. 2. Hands must only be used to hold each
other up. 3. If a shoe snaps back to the chair then the person must hop back to get it.
177. String Tie Mystery Minutes
Here’s a simple little game that you can use to test your group’s creativity. Hang two strings from the ceiling in such a
way that they dangle approximately one foot from the floor (both strings should be about the same length). The strings
should be far enough apart that, while holding the dangling end of one string, the other string hanging down is a foot or
so out of reach. Challenge anyone in your group to tie the dangling ends of the strings together with no help from the
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audience. The only thing that can be used in this task is an ordinary pair of pliers. How is it done? It’s simple. Tie the
pliers to the end of one of the strings and then swing the string ask and forth. Then hold the end of the other string, and
when the pliers swing close enough grab them. Untie the pliers and tie the two strings together.
178. Squirm Race Minutes
Place a volleyball between the foreheads of a boy and girl couple. Without using their hands, they must work the ball
down to their knees and back up again. Their hands must be kept behind their backs and the two must start over again
if they drop the ball. Couples do not have to be of the opposite sex. Two guys or two girls will work just fine, but a boygirl couple usually adds to the fun of this event.
179. Whirling High Jump Minutes
Get three volunteers to come forward and try this simple game. Give each a stick about 24 inches long. Tell him (or
her) to hold it straight out at arm’s length with both hands so that he can watch it while turning around 50 times. He
then must drop the stick and jump over it. Whoever jumps the farthest is the winner. Of course, most kids get so dizzy
they can’t even see the stick when they drop it, let alone jump over it. It’s fun to watch. Have the rest of the group count
as the person turns around.
180. Foot Signing Minutes
Have five guys come to the front of the room and remove their shoes and socks. Give each a felt-tipped or ball point
pen. On the signal, the five boys run out into the crowd and see who can get the most signatures on the bottom of their
feet in the time limit. No one person can sign more than three feet. Guys can use both feet. Signatures must be legible.
181. Corn Shucking Race Minutes
For this little game, you will need several ears of corn. Select three or more volunteers to try and "shuck" an ear of corn
using only their bare feet. No hands are allowed. Whoever finishes first, or whoever has done the best job within a
given time limit is the winner. Award an appropriate prize, such as a bag of corn chips.
182. Ten Toes On the Rocks Minutes
Fill two pans with crushed ice and place ten marbles in the bottom of the pans, underneath the ice. Two boys must
remove their shoes and socks and try to get the marbles out of the pan using their toes only. They can’t turn the pan
over, or spill any ice. The first to get all the marbles out of the pan is the winner.
183. Water Balloon Shave Minutes
Three couples come to the front of the room. The boys sit in chairs facing the audience and hold a large water balloon
on their heads. Their girl partners cover the balloons with shaving cream, and with a single edged razor blade (no
razor, just the blade) try to "shave" all the soap off of the balloon without breaking it. Whoever is the first to succeed is
the winter.
184. Who Hit Me Minutes
Have two guys lie down on the floor (face up, side by side) and put a blanket over them so that they cannot see.
Everyone in the crowd forms a circle around them, and one person in the crowd has a rolled up newspaper. The
newspaper is passed around to someone who takes it and hits one of the guys under the blanket on the head with it.
Then gets back into the circle, leaving the newspaper on the blanket. The guy who has been hit counts to 10 and
comes out from the blanket and tries to guess who hit him. If he guesses correctly, the person who is guessed goes
under the blanket in his place. These are the instructions given to the crowd and to the players. However, one of the
guys under the blanket has been clued in ahead of time that he will be given the newspaper and he will reach over and
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smack the guy laying next to him with it, then pull his arm in under the blanket real fast and play dumb. The guy who is
hit will jump up, and his guesses will always be wrong. (Hit the clued-in guy once in a while so that it won’t look quite so
rigged.)
185. Cupid Minutes
Make a heart-shaped target and fasten it to a guy’s back. Give his girlfriend a bow and arrow (with suction cups on
arrows) and she stands about 20 feet away, and is given 6 arrows. The idea is that she must hit the heart on her
boyfriend’s back, if she loves him. Every time she misses, the boy gets a pie in the face. (Note: Bow and arrow should
be the toy store variety. You can use toy pistols with suction-cup darts, also.)
186. Girls Arm Wrestling Minutes
Have two girls come to the front and arm wrestle. Encourage the crowd to root for their favorite. Two out of three wins
a prize.
187. Big Bad Wolf Minutes
Give three-man teams enough newspaper and tape to build a newspaper shelter of some kind. It must be big enough
to get all three inside. The (youth leader) then attempts to blow the shelter down. A prize is awarded to the best job.
Afterwards, have a giant paper fight.
188. Blind Tag Minutes
Conjure up something with a circumference of about twenty feet, (such a two tables pushed together or rope wrapped
around four chairs). Blindfold two people and put them on opposite sides of this object. Both must always be touching
it. Designate one to be "it" and have the bystanders shout to their favorite which way to go to catch or avoid being
caught by the other. Beware of high-speed collisions. One variation is to remove one of the two contestants and let
everyone shout directions to the unsuspecting victim. Another is to have everyone silent and let them listen for each
other. This won’t work on a carpet.
189. Strength Test Minutes
Here’s a good stunt you could use on contest night. All you need is a flat, ordinary bathroom scale. Each person holds
the scale with two hands and squeezes it, pressing as hard as possible to register the highest weight on the scale. Or,
you could have two people, one holding the scale and the other pushing, attempt to register their highest weight on the
scale. Or, you could have two people, one holding the scale and the other pushing, attempt to register their highest
score.
190. Doctor Banana Minutes
Have a team peel and cut up a banana into equal parts. (Don’t tell them what comes next.) Then tell them they must
put the banana back together using pins, needles, tape, or whatever. The team with the best, reconstructed banana
wins.
191. Bob for Bananas Minutes
Follow the same rules as you would in bobbing for apples, but use bananas instead.
192. Banana On a String Minutes
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Tie strings around several peeled bananas and hang them from the ceiling. Ask for volunteers to race to see who can
eat the banana first without touching it with their hands.
193. The Un-Banana Minutes
Ask for two volunteers. Give each person a banana and a bottle of 7-up. Tell them they must eat the banana first then
drink the bottle of 7-Up as fast as possible. The first one finished wins. Sounds easy. But watch what happens when
the 7-Up mixes with the half-chewed banana.
194. Submarine Ride Minutes
A volunteer lies flat on his back on a table with a person at each arm and each leg. The legs are the left and right
rudders. The arms are torpedoes one and two. A jacket is put over the volunteer’s head with one sleeve directly over
his nose. This is the periscope. The captain (you) yells "Left rudder!" (Person on left raises leg) "Right rudder!" (Raise
right leg) "Torpedo one!" "Torpedo two!" (Raise arms). "Up periscope!" (Sleeve is lifted straight up). "Dive! Dive!" (You
pour water down sleeve and into the volunteer’s face.) Again the leader says, "There’s a b’ar!" The kids reply, "War?"
and the leader says, "Thar!" and this time points to his right with his left arm. The kids do the same and now have both
arms pointing (crisscrossed.) The same steps are repeated, this time with the leader squatting and pointing with his left
leg to the right. All the kids do the same. Once more the same is repeated and the kids must point with their noses to
the left. So now the kid’s faces are turned to the left, away from the leader — who then gives the guy next to him a
push, and the entire line will fall like dominoes.
195. The Talking Head Minutes
To set up, use a table that extends in the center, or place two card tables ten or twelve inches apart and drape with
sheets to the floor. Cut a hole in the sheet for a guy’s head to come through. Place three buckets upside down on top
of the table, one of them over the hole. During a busy part of your meeting (or behind a curtain), have a guy that will act
as the "talking head" position himself under the table with his head sticking up through the sheet and under a bucket.
No one in the group should be able to tell that there is anyone under the table.
Ask three volunteers (preferable girls) to leave the room, and bring them back in one at a time. Explain that they are
helping with the Karina Machado Speed Reading Course and have only two seconds to read the short printed phrase
under bucket #1, only four seconds for bucket #1 and only six seconds for bucket #3. When they are ready, position
them with their faces close to the bucket’s edge, lifting the bucket just long enough for them to see and read the
phrase. Lower the bucket and have them tell the group what they read. Repeat for the second bucket amid much
praise and encouragement for the fine job they are doing. When they are positioned and ready for the third bucket, lift it
much higher and your talking head should scream or yell to scare the volunteer. The first time, even the group will
scream and react since they were not expecting to see a head under the bucket. Repeat the process for the second
victim, making sure that the group has been cued not to give anything away.
196. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is Minutes
Two guys who have wallets each face the other and see who can "draw" his wallet the fastest and stick it in his mouth
(gunfighter style). Another way to do this is to ask for two people who want to win two dollars. When they come up,
give each a dollar bill, which they must put in their wallets and place back in their back pockets. On the signal, they go
for their wallets, gunfighter style, and each must take the dollar out of his wallet, put it on the floor and then sit on it.
The last guy to do so has to give the other guy his dollar, and he loses.
197. Spam Roulette Minutes
Materials needed: Can of Spam, Spoon, and Fun facts about Spam (Phone # to call on the can.)
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Call up people to the front. They play Spam roulette. Music would play, I guess. When the music stops, the person
must choose a person on his right or left. That person must answer a trivia question about Spam. If they cannot
answer, they must take a bit of Spam.
198. King Of The Goats Minutes
Choose a "goat" from the group (or one from each team) and have it removed while the groups are given instruction.
The crowd (one group) is instructed to stand o the sidelines and shout instructions to the goat, while the circle group
(the other group) is told to from a circle holding hands. The goat is to be put in the center of the circle blindfolded. At
the signal, the goat is to start chasing the circle and the circle is to move as a whole to avoid being caught. When the
goat is ready to start, the circle group is instructed in his presence to move silently and to make no sound. The goat is
to listen to the sideline crowd for instructions where to go to catch the circle. As soon as the start signal is given, the
crowd starts shouting instructions to the goat, such as, "Go to the right, the right, now go back, straight ahead." The
minute the game starts, the circle team, instructed before the goat arrived, immediately disbands and joins the crowd,
leaving the goat in a an empty field. Let the goat run for a short time or until the goat guesses what is going on. Be sure
you choose someone for this who can handle it.
199. Marshmallow Pitch Minutes
For this game, have your kids pair off and give each pair a sack of miniature marshmallows. Each pair should also
have a neutral counter. One person is the pitcher, the other the catcher. On "go", the pitcher tosses a marshmallow
into the catcher’s mouth, and the catcher must eat the marshmallow. The pitcher and catcher should be about ten feet
apart. The counter counts how many successful catches are made, and the couple with the most at the end of a time
limit or the first to reach twenty successful catches is the winner.
200. Marbles In Jello Minutes
Put marbles in a roasting type pan (use a dark colored Jello) paper towels, and plastic for the floor. Have 2 people for
each pan of Jello, using only 1 foot they must race each other to find the marbles.
201. Putting On the Lips Minutes
Tube of lipstick, paper towels and couples on kids
The guy holds the lipstick in his mouth and puts on the girl’s lips. You may want to put a trash bag on the girl, just in
case.
202. Gum And Flour Minutes
Gum, flour, cake pan and 3 to 4 kids
Bury the gum in the flour. Without using their hands, they have to find the gum and blow a bubble.
203. Butt Charades Minutes
Great spur of the moment, no material needed. Have people spell out words with their butts and have the audience to
guess the word.
204. Mr. Blockhead Minutes
Stack different sized block. Emcee is wearing a box block over his head and makes a big deal of game.
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205. Burp Contest Minutes
Contestants chug a coke and burp. Possibly use a mike.
206. Honey, If You Love Me Please Smile Minutes
Have three girls/guys try to make one of the opposite sex smile.
207. Velcro-head Minutes
On three people put stockings over their heads and carpet tape over that. Leave room only for breathing. Put cotton
balls on floor and have students roll around trying to get as many cotton balls stuck to their head as possible.
208. Donut-line Minutes
String several donuts on a string. Three students must try to eat donuts without their hands. People on either end of
string is bouncing and swinging string to make it hard.
209. Apple Hang Minutes
Have three couples blindfolded and facing each other. Tie 3 apples to strings and have couples try to eat apple as fast
as possible.
210. Gum Un-wrap Minutes
Four or five people are given a piece of gum with wrapper. They must unwrap in their mouth and blow a bubble.
211. BB Butts Minutes
Girls hold frying pans over their butts while guys shoot BBs through straws and see ho many times they hit.
212. Pictionary Minutes
Play with teams. For variation, have them draw with toes or mouth.
213. Play-Do Pictionary Minutes
Sculpt objects for your team to guess.
214. Sleeping Bag Wrestling Minutes
Have four people come up front. Put sleeping bags over two of them as they stand on their knees. They have to
wrestle the other person to the floor. Then have the next two go, and finally have a championship round. Usually the
heaviest person wins so try and pick people that weigh about the same.
215. Spam Sculptures Minutes
Each team gets a can of Spam. Have a sculpting contest.
216. Name That Person Minutes
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Divide into two even teams. For larger groups, divide into four teams and have a play-off with the two winning teams
and two losing teams. Give each person a blank 3x5 card (or piece of paper) and have him write five little known facts
about himself and sign his name. Examples: I have a pet snake; my middle name is Hortense; I was born in Mexico
City; I hate pizza; the carpet in my bedroom is green.
Collect all the cards and keep separate stacks for each team. The game is now ready to play.
The object is to name that person on the card that the leader draws (from the other team’s stack of cards) in as few
clues as possible. Begin by opening up the bidding between the teams, for example: "We can name that person in five
clues!"or, "We can name that person in four clues!" etc. The team that wins the bidding has five seconds to guess after
the reading of the appropriate number of clues. Appoint a referee.
217. Musical Squirt Gun Minutes
Have a group of 6 or seven up front. A loaded squirt gun is passed around until the music stops or until the leader
says, "Stop". The person who is holding the squirt gun at that time must leave the game. But before he leaves, he may
squirt the person on his left twice or on his right twice or once each. The last person is declared the winner. The gun
must be passed with two hands and received with two hands (otherwise it will be frequently dropped and will break). It
is best to have a second loaded squirt gun on hand to be substituted for the empty one. An assistant can refill the
original gun, while the second one is being used. Be sure to emphasize that only two squirts are allowed, or you will be
continually refilling the squirt guns.
218. Blanket Minutes
Materials: One blanket
Make sure everyone knows everyone’s first and last name. Divide the group into two teams on each side of the room.
Two leaders hold a blanket up in the middle of the room. Each team puts on person in front of the blanket. On the
count of three, the leaders drop the blanket. Each person tries to say the other person’s name standing on the other
side of the blanket first. The faster person captures the other and brings that person over to their side. Continue until
each person has had roughly two chances. The team with the most people wins.
219. Kool-Aid Taste Off Minutes
Ask three volunteers to sit in chairs facing the rest of the group. On a signal they each open a different flavored packet
of Kool-Aid. They then lick just one finger and dip it into the packet. The person who in that manner is the first to eat all
of the Kool-Aid in the packet wins. It’s hilarious because they do not anticipate it being so sour, and they usually end up
with it all over their lips.
220. Grape Toss Minutes
Divide into teams of about ten. Each team gets into a circle and appoints one member to be the grape tosser. He gets
a bag of grapes (or small marshmallows if you prefer) and stands in the center of the circle. When the signal is given,
he tosses a grape to each team member in the circle, one at a time, and the team member must catch the grape in his
mouth. The tosser cannot toss to the next player until a successful catch is made. The first team to toss all the way
around the circle is the winner.
221. Shoe Tie Minutes
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Divide all the people into groups of three. Taking turns, have two people untie and then retie the laces of
the group with one person using his left hand and the other person using his right hand. Put a time limit on
it. Race against two groups.
222. Sunglass Spit-wad Minutes
Put sunglasses on two people and try to get spit wads on their glasses using straws.
223. Balloon Blow-up Minutes
Have three co-ed teams. The girl holds the balloon while the guy blows it up until it pops. Switch.
224. Screaming Contest Minutes
Hold a screaming contest.
225. Blind-folded Musical Chairs
Musical chairs but blindfolded this time.
226. Forty Inch Dash Minutes
Give 3 kids a 40-inch piece of string with a marshmallow tied to one end of it. On a signal, each person
puts the loose end of the string in his mouth and "eats" his way to the marshmallow. The first person to
reach it is the winner.
227. Strawless Relay Minutes
Have 3 or 4 kids put one end of an ordinary drinking straw in their mouths. Have them all start at the same
time and try to get their mouth from one end of the straw to the other without using hands, only mouths and
tongues.
228. Dark Draw Minutes
Everyone in the group is given a sheet of paper and a pen. They are given 5 minutes or more to draw what
the want. But the lights are all turned out during the time of drawing. The pictures are judged and winner
gets a prize.
229. Straw Contest Minutes
Each contestant receives 2 straws and a cup of water. One straw is to be put in the cup and the other is not.
However both straws are to be inserted in their mouth. Then they race to see who can suck the water out the
fastest.
230. Straw Mumble Minutes
Have 6 kids up front and give each one a straw. They must get the entire straw in their mouth without using
their hands. It’s harder than you think. The first person done wins.
231. Who Do You Love Minutes
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Take 3 people out of the room. Bring them in one at a time and ask them to say, "Who do you love?" The
idea is for them to say the actual words, "Who do you love?" The audience is clued in on the joke.
232. Balloon Sitting Minutes
A race to see who can break more balloons in a given time by sitting on them. Make the last one a water
balloon.
233. Musical Baby Food Minutes
Pass the baby food around to music, like hot potato, when it stops whoever is holding it must take a spoonfull. Start with applesauce and build to strained veil.
234. Soap Shrink Minutes
Divide into teams. Give each a large new bar of soap. Provide one or more kiddy pools filled with waterenough pools so each group has access to it. On ‘go’ have teams race to shrink their bars without breaking
them. Call time after five minutes. Award motel-size bars of soap to the winner.
235. Puffed Up Minutes
Divide the group into two or more teams with three or four people on each team. Give each team a roll of
masking tape and thirty balloons. On your command, have members of each team roll the masking tape
(sticky side out) around one of their teammates below the neckline. Next, have kids blow up their balloons
as quickly as they can and stick as many as possible to the taped-up team member. When the balloons have
been attached, have the player go through the obstacle course and back to the team. Balloons that fall of
during the race can’t be re-attached. The team that has the most balloons still attached when the balloon
person finishes the obstacle course wins the game.
236. Building A Firm Foundation Minutes
Divide the group into teams of six players or less. Provide each team with a Lincoln Log set and have them
build the biggest structure they can in an allotted amount of time.
237. Kid’s Shapes Minutes
Get three of the little kids toy that has all different kinds of shapes inside that has to go through the right
holes in order to get inside. Blindfold all three participants and have them race to see who can finish the
quickest. Possibly even put all of the pieces in one big pile.
238. Stuff ‘Em Minutes
Divide the group into teams of four kids each. Give each team a pair of pantyhose, and explain that the
team will have two minutes to place as many personal items as possible into the pantyhose. (You may want
to have extra items on hand just in case some teams come up short.) Each item should be inserted through
the waist end of the pair of pantyhose with out tearing them. Declare the team with the most items inside
the pantyhose the winner. You could try blindfolding participants too.
239. Bagpipes Minutes
This really can't be called a song, but it is fun enough not to matter. Divide your group into three sections.
The first section sings "Oh" continuously while lightly hitting their Adam's apples with the side of their
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hands. The second group sings "Ah" and rhythmically pinches their noses giving both a straight and nasal
tone. The third group holds their noses and to the tune of "The Campbells Are Coming" sings using the
"da" sound. Done correctly, this really does sound like bagpipes, provided the kids can keep from laughing.
240. Cookie Tower Minutes
Get teams of 3 or 4 people up front. Each team member is armed with cookies. (Gingersnaps are usually the
best; however, Nilla Wafers will do in a pinch.) Within one minute, the team members must stack their
cookies, one on top of the other, on one person’s forehead. The team with the most cookies stacked wins.
241. Brother and Sister Minutes
This game is very similar to the Newly Wed Game, but instead of newlywed, use brother and sister
couples. They must work together to score the highest points possible to win. The brother is sent out of the
room and the sister answers a series of questions about her brother. She records her answers on a large
sheet of paper. When the brother returns, he sits in a chair with his sister standing behind him holding up
her written answers. If their answers match, the couple gets a point. Repeat this process by sending the
sister out of the room and asking the brother to answer questions. Tally the scores and award the prize.
Their answers are usually hilarious.
Questions to the sister about her brother:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
What is the dumbest thing your brother has ever done?
What is his favorite food?
What do you dislike most about your brother?
Describe your brother in one word.
What is the meanest thing he has ever done to you?
What does he spend most of his time thinking about?
If you had one wish, what would you wish about your brother?
What is his favorite TV program?
How often does he take a bath?
Question to the brother about his sister:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
What does your sister spend most of her time doing?
If your were your sister, what would you change about yourself first?
About how many arguments do you have with her each week?
Who obeys your mom and dad best, you or your sister?
How old was your sister when she kissed her first boy?
What animal is your sister most like?
What is you sister’s favorite subject?
How long does she talk on the phone each day?
Does she chase boys?
242. Human Scrabble Minutes
Two groups of kids line up in the front of the room. Each kid gets a letter hung around his or her neck on a
card. All the letters in each group spells a word, but it is all scrambled up. At a signal, each group must
arrange themselves to properly spell the word. The first group to do so wins.
243. Frozen T-Shirts
Take as many t-shirts as you want contestants. Soak them completely, wring them out well, and fold them
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neatly as if putting in a drawer. Freeze them and bring them to club on ice (or dry ice). Skit is to see who
can get them on first.
244. Saran Wrap Worm Race
Demonstrate this skit. Have 2 people wrap (hold tube and have contestant spin) 100 feet of plastic wrap
from shoulders to feet. Then lay contestant on ground (they will get hurt if just have to fall). Contestants
worm way across room, get apple in mouth and worm back. Suggested tall contestants visually funny.
245. Diaper Dandy
Make a concoction of chocolate and butterscotch pudding, brownie bits, nuts, in a blender and fill some
diapers with the mix. Contestants race with no utensils to eat the most. My guess it that it is the visual
image that leaves an impression.
246. Balloon Sitting:
A race to see who can break more balloons in a given time by sitting on them. Make the last one a water
balloon.
247. Balloon Smash:
Each person ties a blown up balloon around their waist hanging it over their back end. Each person recieves
a rolled up newspaper. They try to break others balloon and protect their own.
248. Balloon Squeeze:
Couple face each other. Place a large balloon between them. They must turn all the way around, then hug to
pop the balloon. If the balloon drops, they must start over. When the balloon pops, they start with another
until they've popped three. You can make one a water balloon(or shaving cream).
249. Cotton Ball Competition
Give team a pile of cotton balls. They must move to another location by using Vaseline on their noses.
They must shake off and not use hands.
250. Four Legged Race
Use groups of three. Outside people tie legs together, with person in the middle. Race around room.
251. High Speed Name that Tune:
Get a variety of music (about 20 songs), and record segments at 78 RPM. Send 2 groups off to identify the
songs. Gather together and check titles.
252. Licorice Eating Contest
Blindfold a couple of kids and have them eat licorice whips without their hands…as they are
eating…squeeze new pieces onto the end of the piece they are eating….they keep eating and eating…
253. Marshmellows and Coke
Have a girl feed a guy a marshmellow and a guy drink a sip of Dr. Pepper each time a
repeats in a song (like Roxanne).
certain word
254. Mummy Wrap:
Teams wrap their person in paper towels. Play King Tut or monster mash. (Or they can wrap themselves
or you can use aluminum foil).
255. Ride the Tub:
Place a pipe between the handles on a wash tub, then suspend it between two chairs. A contestant stands in
the tub straddling the pipe. They are given a broom to steady themselves. Four hats a perched on the backs
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of the chairs and they race to knock them off, using their broom. Once the broom is lifted you can't put it
back down until you fall.
256. Skateboard Race
Racers sit on skateboard and use plungers as oars. This can also be a relay race.
257. Amplified Telephone Call
Get a speaker phone or amplification device. Select kids and call home. Have them try to get their parents
to say a phrase. Or they can call friends...try to convince a guy/girl to go on a blind date...convince a friend
to come a change a baby's dirty diaper.
258. Baby Pictures:
Get baby pictures of a lot of kids and show them on a projector, (or make slides).
259. Baseball Bat Spin:
In a large room, run across the room, with the bat on the ground and head on the bat, spin around ten times
and then run back.
260. Blind People:
Sell the skit as a depth perception test. Make a large open space and place obstacles that must be walked
around, crawled over or under, etc. Have them practice going through the course, then have them try
blindfolded. Before they start, remove all but the first obstacle.
261. Blind Rope Jump
Select two guys, tell them they are in a contest to see who jumps rope best. Have two girls twirl while the
first guy jumps normally, then you blindfold him and tell him the crowd will clap when he should jump.
After a couple of successful practice tries tell him you'll see how many he can jump in 60 seconds. The
crowd claps in rhythm to give the pace, only the girls put the rope down, but it floor with rope. The pace is
increased until frantic.
262. Dateline:
You will need a speaker phone. Pick a guy and tell him you are going to see how cool he can be getting a
date. He will be given a full date if he can get a random girl from another high school to go out with him.
Have him pick the girl at random from another school. When he reads the number you dial the number to
a informed girl. She is to string them along but keep on saying no. Obviously can be done w/girl calling
guy as well.
263. Fill Eggs with Water:
Blow out eggs and fill them with water and wax shut. You can use these in egg roulette, or throw them into
the crowd.
264. Football night:
Instead of having a regular club, have a knee football game where the guys play the girls. Guys play on
their knees and girls play standing up. Sell ahead of time. Have the National Anthem, and Olympic music.
Have lights for the backyard and a sound system for the play by play. After the game, have refreshments
inside, a song and short talk.
265. Gummi Fish:
Show guys 2 cups with live goldfish fish and 2 with just water. Blindfold them and replace them with cups
that have gummi fish in their water. Have them choose a cup and then drink. They'll think they are
drinking a gummi fish.
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266. Leader Trivia:
A contest by teams, Jeopardy style, with 'answers' in categories of leader trivia.
Mouthwash identification:
Have girls rinse mouths with different mouthwashes (Scope, Listerine, peppermint). Blindfold a guy and
have him kiss them to identify the flavors. The girls put on lots of Bright lipstick.
267. Peel Banana with Feet:
Girls must peel a banana and feed it to their team mate using only their feet.
268. Surprise Charades:
Take people out of the room and tell them to act out riding a roller coaster, the smallest motorcycle, a fan
at an exciting game, and a bucking bronco. While they're out of club, tell kids that they will be acting out
going to the bathroom.
269. Worm Race:
Wrap a kid with their arms at their sides from shoulders to ankles in Saran wrap. Help they get down on
the floor and have them race across the room to eat a banana on the other side.
270. Balloon Shave:
Have one person sit in a chair with a water balloon on their head. Another person covers the balloon with
shaving cream then shaves it off.
271. Blow Penny Out of Cup:
Put a penny in the bottom of a cup. Have a blindfolded person try to blow it out, then replace it with a cup
of flour.
272. Bugga Bugga Boo:
Teaching to cheer. A leader gets kids to do EXACTLY what they do. Repeat Bugga Bugga boo, each time
getting more excited until you stand up then sit down having an assistant put a wet sponge under the kids.
Last time you can double cross the teacher and put to sponge under him.
273. Charlie the Chicken
Go to the grocery store and get a fryer chicken. (Need to get a fairly good sized one.) Stick your hand
through the chicken and place ping pong balls on two fingers for eyes. Then have them do tricks like deep
knee bends etc.
274. Chicken and Egg Fight
Guys have a girl on their back. and an egg taped to their forehead. Each girl has a dead fish and tries to
smash the other teams egg.
275. The Choice
Choose three kids for choosers and two convincers. Blindfold the first contestant, then give a pie to one
convincer and a candy bar to the other. The chooser has thirty seconds to choose one. Each convincer tries
to talk the chooser into choosing them. For the last person give both convincers a pie.
276. Cupid Hunt:
Have two or three couples that are dating. Each guy has a target on their back. she tries to shoot him with
wither a dart gun or cheap bow an arrow & target. Every time she misses he gets a pie in the face.
277. Egg Beat:
Put an egg in a nylon and put it over the head and have others try to break it by beating with a package of
hamburger buns, standing on one foot while holding the other. (variation: have the people with the buns
chicken fight others.)
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278. Fatty Foods Study
Have a kid dressed up in a lab coat say "we are going to study the impact of fatty foods on the body." Have
another kid come out dressed in white, and put on safety glasses. Then take out a Twinkie, go across the
room and launch it from a water balloon launcher. The use other foods like a Big Mac, vienna sausages,
etc. Be prepared for a mess.
279. Hot-dog Roll
Start this one up as a hair styling contest. Have guys style girls hair by rolling their hair. Start the guys
rolling the girls hair with regular rollers. After they roll one or two substitute hot-dogs for the rollers. The
girls will never notice. Can also use carrots and celery.
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SKITS
For a long time everything (mixers, minutes, skits, and run-ons) was called a "skit". Well, these are the actual skits.
They are done mostly by leaders and traditionally cause a lot of laughs. They need a lot of work, practice, and
preparation before you ever get to club.
1. Rindercella And The Prandsome Hince Skit(origional ending)
Once upon a time in a coreign fountry ther was a geautiful birl, whose name was Rindercella. And Rindercella had a
mugly other and two sigly usters. Also in this coreign fountry there was a prandsome hince and the prandsome hince
was going to have bancy fall.
Rindercella’s mugly other and her two sigly usters went out and bought dancy fresses for he bancy fall but poor
Rindercella couldn’t go because she had nothing but rirty dags. So on the night of the bancy fall, Rindercella’s mugly
other and her two sigly usters put on their dancy fresses and went to the bancy fall. And since poor Rindercella couldn’t
go she cat down and sried.
Suddenly, her gairy fodmother appeared before her and touched her with her wagic mond and turned her into a
peautiful brincess and then gave her a kig boach and hix sorces so Rindercella could go to the bancy fall. So off went
Rindercella. When she got to the bancy fall the prandsome hince met her at the door. He had watched her come up in
her kig boach and hix sorses from a widden hindow.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince danced all night long and the prandsome hince lell in fove with Rindercella.
When the prandsome hince was just about to quop the prestion, Rindercella heard the moke of stridnight so she
turned, straced down the rairs and when she got to the stottom blep she slopped her dripper.
The next day the prandsome hince went all over his coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her
dripper. When he go to Rindercella’s house he tried it on her mugly other, but it fidnt dit! He tried it on her two sigly
usters but it fidnt dit. And he tried it on Rindercella and it fid dit! So they were mappily harried and lived appily ever
hafter. Ehe Thend!
2. Rindercella And The Prandsome Hince Skit (Young Life Moral Ending)
Once upon a time in a pall smillage lived a prettle litty girl named Rindercella. Rindercella lived in a hall smouse with
her mep-stother and her three sigly usters. Rindercella wanted to go to the bancy fall at the castle of the prandsome
hince, but her three sigly usters made Rindercella flop the moors and hay at stome. (said with sadness…) After the
three sigly usters had gone to the bancy fall, a gairy fodmother appeared and told Rindercella she could go the the
bancy fall too. She waved her wagic mond and made Rindercella a dretty press and some little slass grippers. Then
she turned a cumpkin into a poach and four hats into roarses. But she had to be home when the strock cluck 12.
When Rindercella arrived at the sastle in her dretty prittle press the prandsome hince lell in fove with her. Boy were her
three sigly usters mad…wow!! Then the prandsome hince and Rindercella pranced and pranced (demonstrate stupidly)
all evening, but when the strock cluck 12 she ran down the steps into the night. But the prandsome hince had noticed
that Rindercella had slopped her dripper!
The prandsome hince knew if he could find the gretty pirl whose tootsy would fit the dripper, he would find his love.
(Suspenseful….) Meanwhile, the gairy fodmother was so mad Rindercella had slopped her dripper she turned
Rindercella into a rat and put her in the cumpkin! The prandsome hince came to their hall smouse and made the three
sigly usters try on the dripper. Unfortunately, Matilda, the third of the three sigly usters fit the dripper. There was
nothing left for the prandsome hince to do but to barry Matilda, and they lived hunhappily ever ufter (sadly). The storal
of the mory is…when you go to a bancy fall, don’t slop your dripper!
3. Herman The Trained Flea Skit
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The trainer has a flea do various tricks, when suddenly he loses Herman. After searching for a while, a girl is brought
forth who has the flea in her hair. The punch line is, "He wait a minute, this isn’t Herman!"
4. Pick Pocket Skit
"Freddy Fingers and Hands Harry" meet and embrace each other. They tell where they’ve been in the last few years
(like what prisons they were in, etc.), and as they say goodbye, one says to the other, "Oh you may want this." He
gives him back his watch. The exchange of articles that they have picked up from each other until one of them hands
back the other’s pair of boxers!
5. Coke Commercial Skit
Have one person standing, holding an unopened coke bottle, the next fellow holding a bottle opener, the other two
doing nothing. The skit opens with the first examining the bottle very closely, then he passes it on to the next. He
opens the bottle and passes it on to the third person, he/she guzzles the entire thing and passes empty bottle to the
next person. The last person looks at the empty bottle with a sick look and burps as loud as he can.
6. Granny’s Candy Store Skit
Paint verbal picture of the various kids acting as three chairs, etc. in Granny’s store. Have three guys standing there,
but with no parts to play. Have several kids come dressed up as five-year olds. They ask granny for licorice, and she
regretfully tells them she has none, they ask for several other kinds of candy and each time she says she just ran out.
Finally, disgustedly, the little kids ask what kind she does have, and she says all she has left is these three suckers
standing over here in the corner.
7. Statue In The Park Skit
The skit begins with one person posing as a statue in the park (the thinker or the discus thrower). Another person
introduces himself as Prof. Arthritic Kneecap, of the Univ. of Amputation and Mutilation. After a long study he has
discovered a way to revitalize the calcium deposited in joints of the human body, the painful and crippling effect of
arthritis. In fact his solution will bring life to almost any old lump of calcium. "Even this old statue" He pours the bottle
on the statue’s head. Slowly it comes to life. Statue: "boy, I’ve been standing like that for 1500 years." Professor: "What
is the first thing you want to do?" Statue: Kill 5000 pigeons with my bare hands!"
8. "The Game" Skit
Perhaps you didn’t know it, but for the past 25 years, (your town) has been the scene of a momentous occasion. In
truth, this epic of the Old West has been going on for much more than a mere quarter century. We must go back to the
thrilling era of yesteryear, when great herds of buffalo grazed the plains and bandits held up stage coaches. Yes, for
many years in the boom town, now ghost town of Hudsonville, six men brought together by circumstances too
unbelievable to believe — got ready to begin on an adventure that would strike fear into the hearts of men everywhere
— and the adventure was called… THE GAME!
Every year these initial players played again in the same town this terrible game only they knew so well. Now the
descendants of those men still keep alive the tradition sacred to their hearts by meeting once a year playing…THE
GAME!
You have probably figured out by now that tonight, yes tonight, is the night that these men will meet and tonight here at
(your place), honored for the past 25 years by the players as their playing ground, will be played the most fantastic
game. It is truly the most amazing phenomenon of the age…THE GAME! Truly it is a game of crime, of mystery, yes,
even of death!
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First there was Gaylord Ravenal — the notorious Mississippi Riverboat Gambler. For him, to win and lose a whole
stake in one evening of pleasure is strictly commonplace. He is sly, underhanded and deadly with a pistol. Through the
years many prizes have crossed the table his way, tonight he has traveled many miles at great expense for the sole
purpose of defending his reputation. (Comes in; fixes gun, has cigarette in mouth, shuffles the cards, and then misses).
Second there was Honest Tom Foolery — the sheriff from Cut-up Creek. Old Tom is one of the best sheriffs money
can buy. Tom never runs from trouble. But of course, he never looks for it either. Tom is a friend of gunmen, gamblers,
train-robbers, horse thieves and claim jumpers; he also has many enemies as a result of…THE GAME! (Acts cocky,
steps up to bar, watches Gaylor…orders drink, gets it poured all over him.)
Fourth there is Just Plain Bill — This is a man as hard as the rocks he digs. We would like to say more, but we can’t
because he is just plain Bill. (Stumbles in, acts out of it.) He has come for THE GAME!
Fifth there is Injun Joe — the last of the famous Apaches, one of Geronimo’s right hand braves. Strong, silent, ruthless,
and just plain mean. The scalps of many men have hung from his belt, some of them gathered in…THE GAME!
(Comes in and sits down, looks mean. Gaylord deals cards here. Bartender pours drinks.)
And finally, there is Dirty Bert — dirtier than the dirtiest dirt. He was reared by a grizzly bear, educated by a coyote,
whips his horse with a rattle snake. A ripsnorting, gun slinging, fist fighting, tough skinned galloot. Most feared hombre
west of Pecos. He’s been in so many wars that he is known in these parts as Pin Cushion Pete. (Comes in, brushes off
dirt — then pulls arrows out of body, looks at everyone’s cards, then knocks Manual Labor off chair after taking his
cards — when Manual Labor pulls knife, Gaylord shoots him; bartender drags him out.)
Cards are re-dealt.
Then Just Plain Bill starts by sneaking cards. Injun Joe cuts off his hand, when Bill goes for Joe, Gaylord shoots Bill —
Bartender drags him out.
Gaylord then hypnotizes Injun Joe and takes the cards he wants form him, then wakes him up (bartender keeps
pouring drinks and while watching game, pours drink on Honest Tom Foolery’s head).
Dirty Bert points out toward imaginary object and while all are looking, he takes all cards in the middle of the table.
Start with Injun Joe and each man gambles more and more, upping with more money and then objects until finally
someone calls. Then, one at a time each man puts down his cards until Dirty Bert finally lays down his last card and
yells (frustrated) "Oh man, I’m the Old Maid again this year!" (Use whatever kids game kids in club would know).
9. Peanut Whistlers Skit
Take a large piece of cardboard and make tall top hats (to cover head arms and chest) Guys take off shirts draw faces
on stomachs (belly buttons as mouths) Put shirts on waists and shorts below that. Play music with whistling (GlobeTrotters, middle of Walk like an Egyptian by the Go Go’s) and let the dance through the room.
10. Motorcycle Gang Skit
Turn off the lights and 4 or 5 people come in and lie on their backs, on floor (heads toward crowd) with their arms up in
the air, and each havine a round stick or dowel covered with tinfoil for the handlebars. They are the bikes. "Bad To The
Bone" plays as a ‘motorcycle gang’ walks in they sit on the ‘bikes’ knees and use kazoos to simulate motorcycle
sounds. They all lean left, right, wheelie in sync. When they finish, they all say together, "Mom, can we have another
quarter?"
11. Toucharama Skit
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This is a ride where you watch the movie on the screen and really feel the action. One guy walks out and girl in lab
coats who stand behind a chair. Meanwhile the announcer pulls up a planted volunteer. The kid sits down in the chair,
puts on 3D glasses and stares ahead as if watching a movie behind the crowd. A guy and girl read a movie story line
backstage over microphones while the lab coats help make it "live’ to the volunteer. For example, "Oh Jim I’ve missed
you so much I just want to hug you" (Lab coat hugs him). You may kiss, slap, throw water on, the volunteer to make
the most of their experience. The volunteer may even ham it up and when they begin to fight, root for them to make up;
then they make up, get sick.
12. Foreign Exchange Student Skit
You need someone who can speak a foreign language very fluently. It sometimes is fun if you have a real foreign
exchange student at club to have them play it up. Explain that you the leader are excited to make YL for everybody,
and thought that it may be best to have a foreign exchange student come and share their thoughts on YL. You will ask
the questions and translate for the crowd. Bring in your non-English-speaking student and ask them things like…"How
do you like the music at club?" Have the student rant and rave, holding there nose, rambling about how awful it is and
when they are finished, you smiling, tell the crowd they loved it. Continue until the student gets mad and walks out.
13. Coke’s Fine Dining Campaign Skit
This is a quick commercial: "And now ladies and gentlemen, a word from our sponsor. With the successful marketing of
the Arch Deluxe for adults, Coca-Cola now turns its advertising to a more mature fine dining audience. "Coca Cola —
the choice of a mature generation." 2 couples enter in tuxes and prom gowns. The first girl: pulls out a bottle of Coke;
hands it to the next guy in line; he pulls out a handkerchief; twists the cap and hands it to the next girl; she in very lady
like fashion guzzles down whole bottle; and hands the empty to the last guy who belches.
14. Spittoon Boy Skit
Three hillbillies acting like they are chewing begin to brag about their spitting prowess. One spits for speed, one for
distance and one for power. They decide to have a contest and call out Spittoon Boy (guy enters wearing rain slicker,
boots, hat, goggles, and carrying a coffee can). They each back him up more and spit for distance. He flicks the can
each time as if the spit landed in it. The last guy even sends him out side, down the street (he comes back amazed.)
Now for speed, he flicks the can, he flicks it faster, the third time he flicks before the guy spits. Now for power, he flicks
and falters a bit. He flicks and falters more, third time he flicks and spills it (water) all over crowd.
15. You Gotta Try This! Skit
A family is sitting around the table getting ready to eat. A kid comes running in and hits his toe on the table. "Oh, this
hurts so much! I’ve never stubbed my toe this hard, I think its broke." He carries on and says "You gotta try this and
see what I mean! It hurts!" They all get up and try it. Another family member takes a bite of dinner and burns their
mouth. They spit it out screaming how hot it is and carrying on and says, "You all got to try this!" They all do,
screaming and burning. Another takes a swig of some lumpy old sour milk carrying on how disgusting it is saying, "You
got to try some of this!" They do and behave similarly. Scene ends when someone comes in saying "Oh man, I just got
hit by a bus, every one of my ribs are broken and I have internal bleeding,! You gotta try this!" they all run out and
scream with screeching tires.
16. Little Nemo Skit
This can be done in a doorway. You need two sheets, a table, shorts, shoes, big shirt and two peopleone with long
arms. The front person is the face and legs placing hands into shoes. The back person is the arms by reaching around
the front person and through slits in back of shirt then out the sleeves. One sheet hides the legs under the table and
other sheet hides the back person. You may want a third sheet to place in front of them and pull it over their heads so
they can get in and out unnoticed. Nemo can be prepared for a date (brush teeth, comb hair, shaveremove blade from
razor). Also do exercises. Dancing with a strobe light helps. Practice!
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17. Little Mobile Nemo Skit
This skit works great with Christmas elves or little UPS people (people that carry lots of packages). Here is how it
works: this is a single uniform for one person. The person puts a long sleeve shirt over their head, but puts their arms
down through the shirt (not in the sleeves). The sleeves must be stuffed to look full, safety pin gloves to the arms as
well. Then, put shorts with high socks or pants and shoes on their arms so that they will look like the legs (much like
Little Nemo). Pin the shorts or pants to the shirt, throw on an elf hat and you begin to see the littler Nemo.
Then the person kneels down in the middle of a dark-colored king size sheet or blanket with their entire body on the
blanket, but their "arms-now legs for the creature" are outside the sheet.
Throw a pillow or two on their legs (their real legs) and then wrap their real legs and body and pillows up into a bundle
and pull the tie portion of the bundle over their shoulder and pin it to their fake hands (also pull the sheet up under their
fake legs and pin it on their shirt in back for better support as well). Now with their hands, and then dragging their body
in what looks to be a big sack.
Remind then to keep their shoulders back and head up for good posture and appearance. Do whatever you want with
them, just keep in mind that they have no way to move their fake arms.
18. Water Shortage At The Frat House Skit
This is a "picture if you will" skit of a water shortage at a local frat house. The scene opens with a glass of water on a
table with a sign that reads, "water out of order, this is the last glass." Guys enter one at a time all in jammies as if it is
a mirror and do different things with water. First guy combs hair dipping in and out of cup, second guy cleans ears
(fake it but have flour on the Q-tip to cloud water), third guy rinses and spits toothpaste (frosting), fourth guy shaves
(whipped cream), fifth guy comes in to take aspirin and drinks the water!
19. Dirty Socks/Laundry Detergent Skit
This is a TV commercial. Get a pair of white socks with chocolate syrup all over them to make them look dirty. Fill two
different detergent bottles with milk and food coloring. Wash the socks and compare the results. Both clean the same
so drink the "water" to see which tastes better.
20. Wind Beneath My Wings Skit
This may be a good skit for two seniors to have some fun with you. We have used it to kick off a senior skit night as a
Saturday Night Live like opening. Explain to the crowd the tradition and incredible meaning of this night, and how you
and two other seniors have chosen a very serious song to kick things off that you feel will set the tone for the show.
They come and stand on either side of you very serious, and you begin to play the guitar. You all begin to sing, "It must
have been cold there in my shadow" (as you finish the line they break in "You’re as cold as ice…" and throw ice down
you back). You yell at them and they apologize, you reluctantly go on. "To never have sunlight on your face" (They
break off into Sunshine On My Shoulders as they shine big flashlights in your eyes). You chew them out more, then go
on. "You were always one step behind" (You may have them de-pants you, with some great shorts on underneath, or
smack a kick me sign on your behind…pointing and singing Moon River). Same scenario, you go on keeping your eyes
on them. "You’re everything I wish I could be." You turn defensively only to have them looking innocently back at you.
You go on big, "You are the wind beneath my wings!" They lift your arms and use hair dryers on you. You explode for a
final time and ask them, "Why are you doing this? What do you think this is?" They look at one another and yell, "Live
from Hudsonville, it’s Monday night!" Lights out, Saturday Night Live music on.
21. Olympic Nose Blowing Skit
This idea is to mock Olympic announcing. You must have funny hosts. Have a Bryant Gumball host and a Mary Lou
Retna commentator to go along with him. They talk about Olympic nose blowing and comment on your first contestant
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(in a gymnastics uniform, loosening up, chalking the hands). You can talk about how she blew out a nostril on her last
blow and really shouldn’t be competing but the team may need this to win the gold. Great comments like, "Would you
look at the nostrils on her, Mary. I bet kissing her is like double dating a two car garage." "It’s snot really possible to get
a perfect 10 here." You may want to bring in judges. She picks up hankie, hobbles on one leg, gets a score, wins,
whatever. Announcers can toss to end skit, "and to Bruce Jenner and company for a look at the indoor javelin catching
competition."
22. Talk Show Travesty Skit
Here’s your chance to mock the favorite daytime talk show trash of your choice. Do it up like any show you wish. Today
your guests are students who their whole life have only used one word. One guest female only say "OK" (flightily) to
everything, one large tough guy only says "dude," and a third burnout guy only says "whoa." You begin with the girl.
Questions are like: What has life been like for you? How do you communicate with your parents? How do you do in
school?" She answers these with some undertones to each OK. Your host mentions that peer pressure sure must be
tough in today’s school. Would she jump off a bridge if her friends did? She hesitates with a thoughtful face, then perks
up dizzily and says OK. Next you work on the burnout "whoa" guy. Ask him questions about how he feels about things.
For example, what do you think about your life? How does your girlfriend feel about this? What do you feel when kids
pick on you? He answers each with undertones to match his whoas. Finally you work on the "dude." He answers each
similar question with an attitude or excitement depending on the question. The interviewer is concerned that these
people can’t really communicate so he goes to the audience with questions. Kids planted in the audience ask the dud
guy what he’d do if someone stole his bike. He grabs a chair and swings it around while yelling violently "dude!" The
kid with the questions shakes his head and says "right on man! I hear you!" The interviewer shrugs his shoulders and
says he wants to watch each of he guys ask the girl out on a date. Dude guy turns to her and says real romantically
and with the nod of a head to the door "dude." She looks lovingly at him and sighs "OK." Dude guy acts all cocky then.
Whoa boy then turns to her and caresses her cheek and says whoa real intensely. She sighs and reaches for his hand
and says "OK." He smiles and she moves closer to him. Dude guy comes over to whoa boy and says toughly "Dude!"
Whoa boy acts all scared and says "whoa, whoa" defensively. Soon they scuffle and dud guy picks up whoa boy and
tosses him out. He leaves yelling "whoa." Dude turns to OK girl and offers his hand. She takes it and say "OK!" They
walk off happily together. Your host wraps up and tells them to tune in tomorrow for more.
23. Commercial Skits
Any commercial can be fair game for a one-timer skit. Keep your eyes open. For example, mocking the milk
commercials have worked well. Also, we have used a little puppet with a kid’s face screened on like the Nike Little
Penny Hardaway commercials.
24. Da Tre Berrese Skit
(an Italian Fairy Tale)
Uans oppona taim ues tre Berrese. Mama berre, Papa berre, e Bebi berre live ine contri nire foresta…naise aus.
Unno dai, pappa, mama, e bebi go tuda biche anie forghette locha di dorre. Bai en bai commese Goldilachese. Schi
garra nattinghe tudo batta meiche troble.
Schi puschie olle fudde daon di naute. No leve cromme. Dan schi gos appesterese enne slipse in alle beddse…leise
slobbe!
Bai enne bai commese omme de tre berrese. Alle sonnebrande enne sandinna scius. Dei garra no fudde; garra no
beddse en wara dei goine due to Goldilachese? Tro erre inne strit? Colle pullisemenne? Fette cienze! Dei vas Italian
berres!
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Goldilachese stei derra tre unniddase. Schi etta aute auseun homme. Ongusta becose dei asche erra to meiche de
beddse schi sai "go jumpe in di lache!" enne runne omma criane tu erra mam, tellen erre vat sansigunses di tre berres
vor!
Vatsi use? Varrjugoine du? Go complieneto sittiole?
De ende!
25. Irate Neighbor Skit
(For this skit to work, you need to have the angry neighbor be played by an adult who the kids do not know. A good
idea is a man on your committee. It's crucial that no kid recognizes this guy, though.) First appearance: angry neighbor
knocks on the door loudly, claiming a car is parking his driveway (which is a leaders car, and they go out to move it)
Angry neighbor is slightly ticked off, and asks for everybody to try and hold it down a little. Second appearance: after a
song (preferably a loud one), angry neighbor knocks again louder, and is angry because of the noise. He asks who's in
charge of this, and a leader tries to calm him down. The neighbor says stuff like he just got home from a long day at
work, and he can't relax with all the noise. He's a little louder this time, and a little more confrontational. After the leader
reassures the angry neighbor, he leaves. By this time, the kids probably can't believe what a jerk this guy is. Third and
last appearance: a few minutes later, during one more really loud song, (or a loud game, or anything loud) he busts in
the door, and gets right in the leaders face, poking him in the chest, telling him he's going to call the police if he doesn't
shut this "meeting" down immediately. Then, the leader starts to get mad back. He reaches behind something, (a
counter or anything) and produces a cream pie and smashes it in the face of the angry neighbor, then grabs him by his
shirt and throws him out the door. The kids either are hooting and hollering, or are freaked out that the leader would
actually do something like that. Next, (and this is important) the leader brings the angry neighbor back in, and tells
everybody it's all a gag. This skit is a great way to introduce the kids to a guy on committee (who doesn't mind getting
thrashed), and also show another adult who loves YL and kids. Remember: if one kid knows about it early, it'll probably
blow the whole thing. You can't do this very often, not even once a year, because a kid will probably remember it, and
then pipe up during club. Have fun!
26. Who’s On First Skit
This is an Abbot And Costello skit. You will need to memorize the script and baseball uniforms work well for this one.
27. Bus Stop Skit
You will need the Lion Sleeps Tonight music, costumes, pick pocket set up, and a bus stop scene. All of the leaders
can be in this one. Everyone is sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. Two people with trench-coats on are also
there. These two get into a conversation about how every day they all come to the same bus stop but never interact.
One starts singing the Lion Sleeps Tonight song, the other person joins in, gradually everyone is doing it until they are
all dancing around singing. One person says that the bus is there, and the group acts like they are getting on (leaving
the room). The first two people stay back and start pulling things out of there jacket asking each other what they got
(they were pick-pocketing all the others while they were dancing).
28. Grecian Urn Skit
You will need togas, water, and music. 4 or five people spit water in a ballerina type fashion making a human fountain
while going along with the music. It works well for each person to have a pitcher of water.
29. Lone Ranger Skit
You will need 4 hats, 4 guns, 2 masks, lighters, costumes, and the radio story. Plus the radio story needs to be
memorized.
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30. King And Queen Skit
You will need two people, costumes for a king, queen, princess, gatekeeper, suitor, and the script memorized.
31. We Are The World Skit
You will need uniforms for everyone and the song. Play the song with all of your leaders acting out and lip-synching the
different parts.
32. Chair Wrestling Skit
You will need a folding chair, wrestling singlet, headgear, music, and a strobe light. The wrestler will come into the
room as if entering a big prize-fight, with the folding chair up front. After the wrestler gets into his wresting stance the
lights go down and the strobe light comes on as the wrestling begins. Go through a few moves (be sure to include
holding the chair above your head and bringing it back down with a big slam) and end either with the chair or the
wrestler winning — however you want it.
33. YMCA Skit
You will need 5 people for the Indian, cowboy, police, construction worker and army guy.
34. Junior Class Play Skit
You will need four people for the doctor, director, mother and child.
Mother: (enters sweeping the floor)
Son: (comes in the room holding his stomach) Mother, I’ve been shot.
Mother: Oh, my son.
Son: I think I will die mother.
Mother: Oh, son you must not do that. I will call the doctor. (She picks up the phone.) Doctor, Doctor do come quickly,
my son has been shot and is dying.
Doctor: (enters immediately as mother hangs up the phone)
Mother: Where have you been, this is an emergency.
Doctor: I had an emergency appendectomy after you called, but I got here as soon as I could.
Son: I feel sick.
Mother: You look sick.
Doctor: You ARE SICK.
Son: I think I will die.
Mother: You must not die.
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Doctor: He is dead.
Director: Cut, cut, cut…
First time: Have all the actors read the script with no feeling or emotion. Then the director stops the scene and says
there must be more emotion…
Second time: Do it with wild emotion; it’s the saddest thing ever done…weeping and wailing, with very pronounced
actions. The director stops again, saying that that was a little too much sadness, this time make it a little lighter…
Third time: It is now very, very funny. Laugh until it hurts.
You can add other variations, such as a hippie (he needs more social identity, etc.) Costumes and props are key.
35. Light And Fluffy Skit
You will need two people, whipped cream, water, and costumes. They go back and forth asking each other if they like
light and fluffy, in their ear, on their nose, on their head, in their shorts, etc. until there is whipped cream everywhere. In
between they sing the "light and fluffy song", "Light and fluffy, we like light and fluffy, light and fluffy, we like light and
fluffy" while dancing around. They finish by cleaning each other off by dumping water all over each other.
36. 2001 Bowling, Golf and Baseball Skits
You will need 3 people, the 2001 Space Odyssey theme song, strobe light, golf ball, baseball, and bowling costumes.
These are really three skits with the same idea. In each one the lights are out and the strobe light comes on, with the
theme song from the 2001 Space Odyssey on loudly. Then two people go through a scene of golfing or baseball or
bowling, using the music for dramatic effect.
37. Pass It Down Skit
You will need 4 males and 3 females, popcorn, candy bar, pop and one nerd costume. Have five chairs up front
representing a movie theater with 2 of the guys and one female sitting watching a movie. The next two characters
come in dressed in very nerdy costumes and acting as if they are out on a date. The guy is carrying popcorn, candy
bar, and the pop. They notice that there are only two seats left so one person sits on one end, and the other on the
other end. The guy takes out the candy bar, takes a bite, and then asks the next person to pass it down to his date.
The people in the middle continue to pass the candy bar down, but each takes a bite so that it is gone by the time it
gets down to the date. The same thing happens with the popcorn and the pop. Then, the first guy tries to put his arm
around the person sitting next to him, and then asks him/her to "pass it down" which they do. The guy next to the nerdy
girl does it, she kind of likes it, and he leaves his arm there. The first guy starts to get upset, but then passes down a
kiss, which makes it’s way all the way down the line. The last two "kiss passionately" (hand over mouth type). The first
guy goes crazy, but the last two walk out together.
38. M&M Commercial Skit
You will need two people, M&M’s, chocolate syrup, dresses, white gloves, and an announcer costume.
39. Howdy Buckeroo Skit
If the leaders in your group have a tough time memorizing lines, this skit might be perfect for them. Four characters are
needed; a mechanical quick-draw cowboy dressed in full cowboy garb, two warehouse employees dressed
appropriately and a third employee. Only the mechanical quick-draw cowboy need remember any lines. They should
be spoken in a mechanical manner: "Howdy Buckaroo. So you think you can beat me, eh? Put on the holster at my
feet and on the count of three, draw! Are you ready? One...two...three!"
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The only props you will need are tow gun-and-holster sets, one of which should be loaded with blanks.
The play begins with the two warehouse employees rolling in the mechanical slot-machine "cowboy" for storage. The
extra gun-and-holster set is placed at the feet of the mechanical "cowboy".
The third employee walks in and seeing the robot, decides to try his luck. He reads the instructions printed on the chest
of the mechanical man and then places a quarter in the slot. The robot winds up and gives the memorized spiel. The
employee is unable to pick up the extra gun and holster set because it’s trapped under the boot of the mechanical
cowboy. He panics and turns to run as the robot counts to three and shoots the employee.
Not to be outdone, the employee lifts the robot’s leg and puts on the gun set before inserting another quarter. He even
practices his quick-draw skills several times. Feeling quite secure with himself, he insets another quarter. The message
is repeated but this time the gun sticks in the holster and again he is shot.
For the final attempt, the employee pulls his gun, stands to the side and holds his gun to the robot’s head and inserts
another quarter. The robot repeats the message except that this time the mechanical cowboy winds down in the middle
of "two". The employee bangs on the robot a couple of times to get him moving again, but no response. Disgusted, he
takes off the gun, sets his down at the robot’s feet and turns to walk off. The robot continues suddenly with the rest of
the pre-recorded message, says "three" and shoots the employee.
40. William Tell or Bahamian Rhapsody Skit
You will need all of your leaders, costumes (garbage bags maybe), a conductor costume, and music. Play the song
with different people or groups of people acting like they are playing the different instruments, with a conductor out
front. At the end everyone falls into a pile.
41. Dueling Nostils
You will need 2 people, penlights, and the Dueling Banjos song off from the soundtrack of the movie Deliverance. Two
people come in very seriously, dressed in concert costumes (maybe tuxedos), and instrument cases. They set their
cases down, open then up, and then pull out Q-tips. They clean out their noses with the Q-tips, and then put the
penlights up into their noses, which is the cue for the lights to go out and the music to start. They then go back and
forth with one person following the guitar and the other following the banjo, lighting up the lights which makes their
noses glow red. After the song is done they very seriously pack up their things and leave the room.
42. The Fly In The Library Skit
You will need 4 people and someone to make the fly noise in the background, a book, flour, a glass and a librarian
costume. Play baseball, do CPR, and then high 5 the fly with someone in the back making the fly noises into a
microphone.
43. If I Were Not In Young Life Skit
You will need 5 people. Possible characters are: an undertaker, birdwatcher, farmer, surfer, stewardess, ice cream
maker, Mac D’s Worker, Post, ballerina, etc. The song goes, "If I were not in Young Life, I know just what I’d be. If I
were not in Young Life, a ____________ I would be. And each person in turn jumps in and does his or her character all
in rhythm.
Undertaker: Well, well, well, you never can tell, if their going to heaven or if their going to…Well, well, well
Birdwatcher: Hark, a lark, flying through the park, splat
Farmer: Come on Bessy give, the baby’s got to live!
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Surfer: Hey, Dave, totally awesome wave!
Stewardess: Here’s your coffee, here’s your tea, here’s your paper bag, blahh!
Ice Cream Maker: Ushy Gushy, ushy gushy, good ice cream.
Post: A post, a post, a post. A post, a post, a post.
Balleriana: Tippy, tippy toe, tippy toe, tippy toe
44. Contagious Ward Skit
You will need 6 people, pregnant woman costume and a nurse costume. The room is set up like a doctor’s office with a
nurse at the desk. The first person comes in and says that they have an appointment to see the doctor and sits down.
The second person comes in sneezing like crazy, says that they have an appointment and then sits down. Gradually
the first person starts to sneeze and the second person sneezes less and less, until only the first person is sneezing.
The second person notices that he/she isn’t sneezing anymore and then walks out. Another person comes in coughing
uncontrollably, says that they have an appointment, and then sits down. Gradually the first person starts to cough
(while still sneezing) and the third person coughs less and less, until only the first person is coughing (and sneezing).
The third person notices that he/she isn’t coughing anymore and then walks out. The same thing happens with
someone who is itching all over, until finally a pregnant woman walks in. The first person screams and runs out of the
room.
45. Mother Skit
You will need two people, the memorized script, diapers, bibs, and bonnets.
46. Hiccup Skit
You may sell this one as a time to think back about a time when you had the hiccups. Lights go off and back on (a little
you sits in a chair facing club and hiccuping). Frustrated with the hiccuping you say aloud that you wish you could get
rid of them. In back of you a person dressed in a mask, bandanna, or something like that sneaks up to try to scare you.
Just as he/she is about to scare you, you shout, "I know, I’ll drink some water!" You jump up and the guy/girl behind
dives the other way to avoid being seen (remember to keep hiccuping).
You come back with a glass of water, take a sip, but hiccup really hard and throw the water behind you onto the
guy/girl as they began sneaking up on you again. Just as he/she is about to pounce on you again you stand and yell, "I
know, I’ll stand on my head!"
You try this but hiccup again while upside down. Same scenario, you try to breathe in paper bag…as he/she gets close
you pop it in frustration and he/she grabs their ears like you just made them deaf.
Finally after he/she regroups, they sneak up on you for the last time and you turn and scream at him/her. He/she jumps
and you laugh and then realize you’ve lost your hiccups and leave excited.
The scared guy/girl gets up, takes off his/her mask, looks at the crowd, and hiccups. You may also do this in reverse
by remembering back to the time you wanted to help someone with their hiccups.
47. The Bucket Trick SkitThis is one you play on the entire group. You need one helper. Announce that you have a
bucket of water from the fountain of youth. (Or any story that you want to make up.) Have a volunteer take a drink of
water (he is your clued-in helper.) The bucket is brought in, and the audience can't see inside it, but it is really a bucket
of rice or confetti with a dipper sticking out of it. Inside the dipper is some water. The outside of the dipper must be dry
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so that no rice will stick to it. You take the dipper out of the bucket, pour the water into a glass, and the volunteer drinks
it. He waits, starts acting like a two year old, grabs the bucket, and throws it's contents all over the audience.
47. The Stand In SkitCharacters:1. Director (wearing a beret, scarf, dark glasses, etc.)2. Camera Man (with a "movie
camera" of some kind. Try using an old fashioned meat grinder on a tripod to look like a camera.)
Make Up Man (with a sack of and a powder puff)
The Hero (handsome, dressed in white)
The beautiful girl
Bartender (or soda jerk...)
The Sucker (the stand-in)
The skit begins with an apparent movie-making set-up. The hero is sitting in a chair, next to the girl, getting ready to
kiss her, and the camera man is moving around taking pictures, the director is directing the action, apparently intrigued
with the whole thing, as he has never seen a real movie set before. He walks in front of the "camera" and interrupts the
action.
SUCKER: Wow, a real movie. I wish I could be in a movie
DIRECTOR: (in rage) CUT! CUT! You! Get out of here! You've just ruined a perfect take!. Beat it! Scram!
SUCKER: (runs off disappointed) Shucks. I sure wish I could be a movie star.
DIRECTOR: (thinks a second) Hey! Wait a minute! You! (points to the sucker) Do you want to be in a movie? I think we
can use you! (he whispers to the hero something and they both smile.)
SUCKER: (overjoyed) Really! Wow! I'm a star! Oh boy! Where do I start? Where are my lines?...
DIRECTOR: Just wait a minute and we'll show you.
The action continues, and the hero sits again by the girl, says a bunch of mushy things to her, and then starts to kiss
her. When he does, the brings back her hand to slap the hero's face...
DIRECTOR: Cut! O.K., bring in the stand-in! (The sucker takes the place of the hero in the chair) Make-up! (The makeup man comes in and throws a bunch of flour in the sucker's face.) Action!
The sucker starts to kiss the girl and she slaps him across the face so hard that he falls over backwards in his chair.
DIRECTOR: Cut! Great! All right let's have scene two...Action!
The hero crawls along the floor, crying "Water, water, give me some water..."
DIRECTOR: Cut! Bring in the stand-in! (He comes in and takes the hero's place) Make-up! (Make-up man throws more
flour in his face.) Action! Roll-em!
The sucker crawls along the ground and yells "water." An off-stage helper brings in a big bucket of water and dumps it
all over him.
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DIRECTOR: Cut! Perfect! All right, let's have scene three...Action!
The hero walks up to a bar and orders some milk. The bartender gives him some milk and he drinks it. Then he orders
some pie. The bartender says, "Do you really want some pie?" The hero says, "Yeah, give me some pie." The
bartender reaches for some pie...
DIRECTOR: Cut! Bring in the stand in! (The sucker enters looking pretty bewildered at the whole thing)... make up...
(He gets more flour in the face)... action!
The sucker stands at the bar, demands the pie, and the bartender throws the pie (big cream pie) in his face.
DIRECTOR: Cut...Perfect... Tremendous! ... Well, that's it for today!
Everybody leaves, leaving the stand-in with a puzzled look on his face. He shrugs his shoulders and walks off stage.
48. The PsychiatristThis is a skit that requires two persons: the psychiatrist and his patient. The scene is the doctor's
office. The only props needed are a couch (for the patient to lie down on) and a chair for the doctor. The skit begins
with a knock on the doctor's door, and he answers it.
MAN: Oh, ah, hello there... are you Dr. Kaseltzer, the psychiatrist?
DOC: Yes I am, and that will be 20 dollars. What other questions can I help you with?
MAN: Well my name is Mr. Gaspocket... I have an appointment.
DOC: Oh yes, what's the nature of your problem?
MAN: Well I'm trying to break - bark!- a nervous habit.
DOC: Well, maybe I can help you.
MAN: Thanks, doc. - bark!
DOC: How long has this been going on?
MAN: Oh, ever since I was a teenager - bark!
DOC: Hmmm... Think back. Did a vicious dog ever frighten you?
MAN: Huh? I don't get it.
DOC: Well, these problems can often be traced to a single event.
MAN: No. This is just a -bark!- nervous habit.
DOC: Have you ever tried to break it?
MAN: Oh yes! I've tried lots of things, such as wearing gloves.
DOC: Wait a minute. You've tried wearing gloves?
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MAN: Yes, well, you know, I thought if I would start wearing gloves, I might stop biting my nails.
DOC: Biting your nails?
MAN: Well, yes. That's the nervous habit I was telling you about.
DOC: You mean you came to see me just because you bite your nails?
MAN: Well, certainly. What else- bark!- what else in the world - bark!- would I have on my mind?
DOC: Maybe you should lie down and tell me all about it.
MAN: Well, I'm not allowed on the furniture.
DOC: That's all right, I don't mind.
MAN: Well, all right. You see, one reason I get nervous and bite my nails is -bark!- because of my mother.
DOC: Your mother?
MAN: Well, she always makes sleep on a bunch of newspapers down in the cellar. Somehow, she got this crazy quirk,
you know, she got it in her mind, now you won't believe this, but she got to the point that she imagined that I went
around the house, now listen to this, that I went around the house barking like a dog!
DOC: You think she imagined this?
MAN: Well, I know she did, you know, she finally wrote to a doctor about me... a Veterinarian.
DOC: Oh really? And what did he say?
MAN: I don't know. I never let the mailman near the house. -bark!
DOC: This goes deeper than I thought. I'm going to try the word association test. I'll say a word and you say the first
word that comes to your mind...Table!
MAN: Chair.
DOC: Ball.
MAN: Bat.
DOC: Flower.
MAN: Rose.
DOC: Cat.
MAN: Bark!
DOC: Dog Catcher.
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MAN: Bark! Bark! Bark!
DOC: I'll tell you what. This is going to require some consultation. Why don't you come in next Thursday?
MAN: Oh, no, Doc, couldn't you make it another day? I don't want to miss "Lassie."
DOC: Okay. How about Monday night around 7:30?
MAN: Nope, that's Young Life night.
DOC: Okay, let's make it Tuesday. Good day, sir.
MAN: (exits) Bark! Bark!
49. Little Red Riding Hood Skit
The following skit requires only two characters. One is a guy dressed up like "Little Red Riding Hood" (a red raincoat
with a hood or a red scarf should be worn.) The other is the wolf (dressed in black.) Little Red has a basket covered
with a towel. Inside the basket is a blank (starters) gun. Little Red skips into the room with her basket...
RED: (to audience) I'm Little Red Riding Hood and I'm going to Gramma's house with this basket of goodies! (skip
around the stage area)
WOLF: (jumps in front of Red) Boo!
RED: EEK! EEK! Boy are you ugly!
WOLF: I'm the Big Bad Wolf and I'm going to eat you all up!
RED: But I'm just poor Little Red Riding Hood and I'm going to Gramma's house with this basket of goodies. You
wouldn't want to disappoint poor old Gramma now would you?
WOLF: You got a point there. I'll let you go this time. Maybe I'll run into the three pigs somewhere along the way.
Riding Hood skips off around the room and the wolf turns to the audience and says:
WOLF: Ha Ha Ha, what Little Red Riding Hood doesn't know is that I'm going to beat her to Gramma's house. I'll take a
shortcut through the strawberry patch... sort of a "strawberry shortcut..."
The wolf gets under a blanket on the floor and Riding Hood arrives.
RED: Knock! Knock!
WOLF: Who's there? (in a high voice)
RED: Yah!
WOLF: Yah-who! Ah, just come an in already.
RED: Hi, Gramma. Gee, what big ears you have Gramma.
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WOLF: What? Oh, yeah... all the better to hear you with, my dear, heh-heh!
RED: And what big eyes you have Gramma.
WOLF: All the better to see you with, my dear.
RED: And what big nose you have, Gramma.
WOLF: All the better to smell your goodies with, my dearie.
RED: And what big teeth you have Gramma.
WOLF: (jumps up out of the blanket) Yeah! All the better to eat you with...!
Riding Hood pulls the gun out of the basket and shoots about six shots into the wolf.
WOLF: (staggers, falls to his knees) Well folks, the moral of this story is..."Little girls just ain't as dumb as they used to
be."(falls down)
50. The Hamburger Skit
Characters:
The customer
The waiter
The cook (wearing no shirt, only a cooks apron)
Props: table and chairs, set up like a restaurant
Plate of food, including a hamburger
A door near table to the "kitchen," offstage
The customer enters the restaurant and sits down. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. This needs
to be finished yet…
51. Witch Skit
This skit requires two guys. One is dressed up like a "witch", with the usual witch-looking apparel: a black hat and
dress, long crooked nose, scraggly wig, and a broom. The other guy is an average but good-looking young man who is
extremely depressed and is about to commit suicide. As the skit begin, we find him ready to "end it all"...
MAN: I can’t take it any longer! I’ve lost my family, my job, my friends, and my house burned down. Life is not worth
living! I’m going to end it all right now...
WITCH: (Enters and speaks in a squeaky voice.) What are you doing, young man? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (and other
witch sounds)
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MAN: Life just isn’t worth living. I’ve lost all my friends, family, job, and all my possessions, and now I’m going to jump
off this cliff and end it all.
WITCH: Oh no, don’t do that!
MAN: Why shouldn’t I?
WITCH: Because, tee-hee, I’m a witch with magic powers and I can give you back everything you lost and more! I’ll
grant you three wishes! Tee-hee-hee! Three wishes!!!
MAN: You mean that you can give me three wishes? Wow, that’s tremendous! I wouldn’t have to end it all! Wait a
minute. How do I know that your are telling me the truth? How do I know you are really a witch.?
WITCH: Of course, I’m a witch. Don’t I look like a witch? Ha ha ha ha hee hee hee. I’ll give you your three wishes in
exchange for one small favor.
MAN: One favor? (skeptical) I knew there must be a catch. What do you want from me?
WITCH: Three kisses. It’s a fair exchange. Three wishes for three kisses!
MAN: I think I’ll just jump away
WITCH: Think of all you’ll be able to wish for in three wishes!
MAN: (He finally decides to go ahead with it, so he takes the witch in his arms, and begins to kiss her. After each kiss,
the young man makes repulsive gesture, spitting each time. Extreme distaste is shown after the last kiss and with it a
great sigh of relief. The witch on the other hand, shows extreme enjoyment with each time she is kissed). Okay, now
that that is over, I want my three wishes.
WITCH: First of all, tell me how old you are sonny?
MAN: (He tells her his age.)
WITCH: And you still believe in witches at that age?? Hahahahaha-hehehehe (exits laughing to herself)
52. Leaving Home Skit
Need two characters. A man sits in a chair reading a newspaper. A woman enters with a coat on and carrying a
suitcase. She is apparently very upset. The man in the chair could care less.
Woman: "I’ve had it! I’m through! I’m leaving this crummy rotten house and all these crummy kids and going home to
mother! I’m sick and tired of ironing, mopping, and cleaning up after you day in and day out! I tell you, I’ve had it! No
more! I’m leaving and don’t ask me to come back because I’m leaving for good!" (sobbing) "Goodbye!" (She stomps
out of the room).
Man: (somewhat bewildered, turns to and offstage room and yells) "Alice, dear! The maid just quit!"
53. Restaurant Skit
Rehearsed-requires 4 guys
Props: Something to look like restaurant tables and chairs, apron, hot dog, spoon, and a camping kettle.
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Two boys come into a third class restaurant; only one other customer is in there. One of the guys tells the other
customer he should hang his coat and hat on the back of his chair instead of the coat rack because the restaurant has
a bad reputation for stealing things. An Italian waiter with an accent comes in wearing a filthy apron. They begin to
order. He has no menu but says that they have soup and hot dog.
1st Man: I’ll take the soup.
2nd Man: I’ll have the same
Waiter: Wait just a minute. If he takes the soup you have to take the hot dog.
2nd Man: All right, put some mustard on it please. (Waiter exits)
3rd Man: (who came in alone) Did you say they steal your coats?
1st Man: They’d steal the shirt off your back if they thought they could get it.
3rd Man: Well I’m going to keep and eye on mine. (Watches his coat on coat rack). I wish they’d take my order. I’ve
been sitting here since before you came in.
The waiter enters, singing bits of Italian opera, carrying the soup in an ugly camping type kettle. He drops the spoon on
the floor, wipes it off on his apron and hands it to the 1st man. He exits and returns with a bare hot dog in his hand and
gives it to the 2nd man.
2nd Man: Waiter, I asked for mustard on my hot dog. This one’s plain.
Waiter: That’s a-right-a (looks over apron). Here’s some. (He wipes mustard from apron onto hot dog.)
1st Man: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Quiet, or everybody will want one. (He takes the fly and squeezes it in the soup, while telling the fly, "Now you
spit every bit of that out")
3rd Man: (disgusted, gets up to leave). "I’m getting out of here" (walks out in shorts-his pants have been stolen).
54. The Lie Detector Skit
Props: Vase, coin with a string tied to it (a coin with a hole in it works best). The
string should be invisible to the audience, probably a heavier thread, and a man with the other end of the string.
Requires a boy and a girl, and advanced rehearsal. This play should be re-worked so the dialogue fits the school
situation, but the basic idea will remain the same.
A large vase that can be broken is on a table. The boy sits holding the coin which has a thread long enough so it can
be passed from the boy to the girl, and put in the vase.
BOY: I don’t see anything unusual about this coin, yet my friend who gave it to me insisted that it has magic powers.
He said that when it is placed in a vase it serves as a lie detector, and that the bigger the lie the more agitated the coin
becomes, and if an unusually big lie was told, it might even explode and break the jar. Well, I’m going to drop it in this
old vase, and see what happens.
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GIRL: (entering) Oh, I beg your pardon. I didn’t know that there was a boy in here. (The coin begins to jump up and
down in the jar as the man behind the curtain pulls the thread).
BOY: Oh, that’s right. I’ve just returned from Arabia and know only a few people here. I’m glad to have the opportunity
to meeting you. Are you going with anyone?
GIRL: Oh, mercy no. (The coin jumps up and down). Being a student I have always been so busy with my studies and
travels that I have never had time to think about boys. (The coin starts jumping up and down vigorously).
BOY: I’ve always been the same way about girls. (The coin jumps)
GIRL: Haven’t you ever been in love?
BOY: No, not until this minute (coin jumps). I suspect that you have had many boyfriends you never even knew
about…secret admirers.
GIRL: No, I’m sure not. I’ve always been too shy.
BOY: You have been lying to me.
GIRL: What do you mean?
BOY: In that vase on the table I have place a magic coin that a friend gave me. He picked it up in Mesopotamia and
gave it to me when we were on the same boat coming back form the East. He told me that it would become agitated
and jump up and down when anyone told a lie. I didn’t believe it, but I placed it in the vase just before you came in, and
each time you told a lie it has jumped up and down in the vase. (The boy takes coin form the vase, shows it to her, and
puts it back in).
GIRL: I don’t believe that this is a magic coin. I would not lie to a tall, dark, handsome boy like you. (The coin becomes
very agitated, and girl looks surprised).
BOY: This coin is truly a lie detector. You should be very ashamed of yourself telling lies about not going with anyone
and never being in love. Why, I have never told a lie in my life!
At this point the boy behind the curtain upsets the table so that the jar is smashed!
55. The Big Date Skit
Bill and Karen have just met each other after being introduced by common friends. This is the first date for both. They
have just arrived at a local restaurant for a meal.
BILL: (embarrassed) Hi Karen
KAREN: (equally embarrassed) Hi Bill.
BILL: (still embarrassed) Hi Karen.
KAREN: (still embarrassed) Hi Bill.
BILL: Gosh, this is so…(he leaves sentence floating)
KAREN: Yes, it is so…(she also leaves the sentence floating)
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BILL: Karen, ah, have you had many dates before?
KAREN: The only date I’ve ever had was on August 13th
BILL: Oh really, what was that?
KAREN: My birthday. (Karen then drops her comb on the floor)
BILL: Oh here! I’ll get it (As he stoops over, he falls down on the floor.) I guess I fell for that one, but at least I had nice
trip. (As Bill stands up, he forgets to pick up the comb)
KAREN: Oh Bill, you’re so funny! (She is suddenly serious.) But would you mind picking up my comb?
BILL: (embarrassed) Oh yeah, I guess I forgot. (As Bill squats down, sound effects are heard of his pants ripping. As
he reaches behind him to check out that part ripped, he falls backwards from his squatting position over to his back. At
that moment a waiter comes to take the order and not seeing Bill, he trips over him and falls to the floor.)
DAREN: Oh my goodness!
WAITER: (regaining composure)What in the world were you doing on the floor sir? Aren’t our seats comfortable
enough?
BILL: Oh no. The seats are just fine. I was just checking to see if the floor was on the level.
WAITER: (unbelievingly) I don’t know about the floor, but are you on the level? (The waiter then notices the rip, and
seeing the chance for a pun replies…) By the way sir, something has happened to your pants.
BILL: Yes, I know. Isn’t that a rip-off? (Both men stand)
WAITER: Well would you like me to do anything?
BILL: Yeah, how about turning your head when I leave?
WAITER: (unbelievingly) Sure thing…Hey. I’ll be back in a minute to take your order. (As the waiter leaves, Bill sits
back down at the table.)
KAREN: Bill, I really appreciate your efforts, but my comb is still on the floor.
BILL: I’m sorry, Karen, but that waiter crushed my ear when he fell on me. What did you say?
KAREN: I said my comb is still on the floor.
BILL: (sheepishly)Your phone is in the store?
KAREN: No! MY COMB IS STILL ON THE FLOOR!
BILL: (sheepishly) Oh! I’m sorry. (He bends down and gets the comb) Well, we may as well order, there’s no use in
waiting around.
KAREN: I don’t mind waiting. Sometimes I even like to wait around.
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BILL: What?
KAREN: I said, it gives me a lift sometimes to wait.
BILL: Yea, I like weightlifting too.
KAREN: Oh good-grief. Not to change the subject, but what did you do today?
BILL: I got things all straightened out.
KAREN: What do you mean?
BILL: I mean I did all my ironing. Aren’t you impressed?
KAREN: Not really, I did my laundry today.
BILL: I thought I smelled bleach! But I thought it was just your hair
KAREN: (offended) well, I never…
BILL: Well you ought to, I can’t stand the color of your hair.
KAREN: Bill! You’ve hurt my feelings!
BILL: (Bashfully)Oh, I’m sorry. Speaking of laundry, so you know the money changing the machines they have in
there?
KAREN: Well, not personally, but go ahead.
BILL: Well, I wanted to prove how stupid those machines are, so I put a 5 dollar bill in one and it still gave me change
for a dollar. Just to make sure it was no fluke, I put a 10 dollar bill in the next time and it still gave me change for a
dollar. I’ll bet you never realized how stupid those machines are, have you?
KAREN: That doesn’t make sense.
BILL: What do you mean?
KAREN: I mean you lost 13 dollars and you are saying the machines are stupid.
BILL: Well, I only did it for the change.
KAREN: That’s what all the moneychangers are for, a change.
BILL: That makes sense.
WAITER: I don’t mean to interrupt, but are you ready to order?
BILL: Huh?
WAITER: Your order?
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BILL: What?
WAITER: ORDER! ORDER!
BILL: What are you, a judge?
WAITER: I don’t know about that, but whenever I got to play tennis I wind up in court.
BILL: You ought to get out of that racket.
WAITER: (looks up and states pleadingly) Why me? Have you decided what you would like to eat?
BILL: Yes, I’ll take the New York Sirloin steak, baked potatoes, corn, tossed salad with French dressing and a large
Coke. That’s all.
KAREN: What about me Bill?
BILL: (surprised)Aren’t you going to buy your own?
KAREN: Of course not. It’s not proper.
BILL: OK, OK. Waiter, she’ll have a small Coke.
WAITER: You’re not going too far overboard are you?
BILL: Don’t be silly. We’re nowhere near water, much less on a ship.
KAREN: You may be right there, but you’re still all wet. (Karen then throws her glass of water all over Bill and they
exit.)
56. Sumo Wrestlers Skit
For this skit you’ll need two guys, preferably of a muscular or flabby physique, dressed in diapers (use a white sheet for
the uniforms). You will also need an announcer with a good voice and something he or she can use as a microphone,
such as a vacuum hose.
Have the 2 wrestlers come stomping into the room, circling each other and snorting at each other with deep voices.
The announcer introduces the first man a Yamahaha, who then steps forward, bows with folded hands and slowly
laughs with a deep voice and a Japanese accent, "ha ha ha ha ha." He then throws rice over each shoulder. This
procedure is repeated when the announcer introduces Korimoto-ho, who then responds with a "ho ho ho".
After their introduction, the 2 wrestlers begin fighting. They never touch each or to speak, except the occasional "ha
ha’s" and "ho ho’s". The fight is conducted by each fighter doing to himself what he really wants to do to his opponent.
The opponent responds — at the same time — by reacting to the hold or punch as if it really happened to him.
While this is going on, the announcer calls the play-by-play, describing finger bends, nostril lifts, toe stomps, navel
jabs, and armpit hair pulls. With some good actors this event can be hilarious.
57. Mashed Potato Skit
A man comes into a restaurant (table and chair) and sits down.
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Waitress comes in and asks for order.
MAN: I’ll have a big pot of mashed potatoes.
WAITRESS: Is that all?
MAN: Yup.
WAITRESS: No beverage?
MAN: Nope. Just a big pot of mashed potatoes.
WAITRESS: No salad, or soup, or desert or anything?
MAN: Listen! All I want is a big pot of mashed potatoes.
WAITRESS: Well, o.k. I’ll tell the cook
Waitress goes back into a wing off stage and in a voice which everyone can hear, tells the cook that there’s a weirdo
out there that wants a big pot of mashed potatoes.
COOK: Is that all?
WAITRESS: Yup. That’s all he wants.
COOK: No salad?
WAITRESS: Nope.
COOK: No beverage or anything?
WAITRESS: Nope, just a big pot of mashed potatoes.
Argument goes on for a while. Finally the cook condescends and gives the waitress a huge pot of mashed potatoes
(get the biggest pot you can find). Waitress brings the pot of potatoes out to the customer. He looks around
suspiciously, lowers pot to the floor and sticks his head as far into the potatoes as he can — up to his neck. Then he
proceeds to jam them into his mouth, ears, pockets, down his shirt, etc. Finally, waitress, standing there the whole time
asks the man what the heck he’s doing with all those mashed potatoes. Man slowly looks up at the waitress with
question mark on his face . . .
MAN: Mashed potatoes? I thought this was spinach!
Man stands up, turns and walks out.
At this point everyone is confused, including the waitress. Suddenly she turns . . .
WAITRESS: Spinach — oh, I get it.
Waitress dives into the pot of mashed potatoes head-first, mashing them all over the place, in her hair, mouth, etc.
Then she gets up and leaves. Finally the cook who has been watching the whole thing from a distance yells . . .
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COOK: Spinach spelled backwards, I get it. Is that ever funny.
Goes through same procedures as man, and waitress.
Now everyone is thoroughly confused. At this point, someone comes through with a sign saying, "What is spinach
spelled backwards?" A plant in the audience then jumps up yelling that he gets it too, and dives into the pot, mashing it
all over himself.
You can end the skit here by having the announcer come out and suggest to the crowd that if they think about it for a
while, they’ll get it too. If this is to be the last skit of the night, the announcer might even come out and apologize for
trying to put over such a crummy skit on the crowd. Then he pauses, and reflectingly says "Spinach spelled backwards.
. . Oh, I get it, and he dives into the pot too.
58. Statue In The Park Skit
One person poses as a statue with a park bench or seat in front of him. Two people come along to eat lunch — the
statue takes some of their lunch whenever it is left on the seat. The eaters look more and more suspiciously at each
other until they finally leave in disgust. A couple then approaches and sits down at one end of the seat. They are in the
early stages of courtship and sit rather shyly next to each other, with no physical contact. After a while, the statue puts
an arm around the girl, who reacts sharply, slapping the face of the boy and leaving in disgust. Then comes one of the
gardeners with a bucket, mop and feather duster. He first of all cleans the seat, then looks up at the statue. He dusts
the statue with the feather duster, while the person posing tries not to move, sneeze, laugh. He is about to put the mop
into the bucket when there is a voice calling him offstage. He looks at his watch, yells out "I’m coming," picks up the
bucket and throws the contents over the statue.
59. Whistler Precision Drill Team Skit
Acquire a copy of the Mitch Miller album where there is a cut of his choir whistling theme song to "Bridge Over the
River Kwai" or "Colonel Bogey March." Use as many guys as you want to involve. Each must provide a shirt and tie, a
jacket and pants, and a pair of gloves. Stuff the arms of the jacket with paper and attach the gloves to the end of the
arms. For each guy a hat must be prepared. These are made out of cloth and heavy cardboard. The brim must be
about three feet in diameter. The hole in the center must be large enough for it to slip over a guy’s shoulders. The bowl
of the hat is made of some cheap cloth but must be large enough so that a guy can hold his arms over his head and
yet have the brim of the hat come to just below his shoulders. Paint a face on the naked chest and stomach of each
guy with the belly button as the mouth. Arrange the shirt, tie and jacket around the hips and fasten with pins. The overall effect is of some very short guys with very big heads. They then march around the stage like a precision drill team to
one of the above tunes, acting as if they are doing the whistling by sucking in their stomachs in and out.
60. The Magic Bandana Skit
Two guys come out; one is the magician, one is his not-so-smart assistant. The magician introduces his act and sends
his assistant to a table behind him and (facing the audience) says, "Herkimer, (his assistant), do exactly as I say . . ."
(Magician can’t see him)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
"Pick up the bandana . . ." Herkimer picks up a bandana and also a banana that is lying on the
table, looks at them, scratches his head, and puts the bandana down, keeps the banana.
"Now, Herkimer, hold the bandana in your right hand . . ." Herkimer does.
"Fold the bandana in half . . ." Herkimer folds the banana in half.
"Fold the four corners of the bandana together . . ." Herkimer peels the banana and drops the peel
to the floor.
"Now stuff the bandana into your left fist, and don’t let any of it show . . ." Herkimer then crams the
banana into his left fist, causing the banana to ooze out between his fingers.
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6.
"Now, Herkimer, on the count of three, the bandana will disappear. One! Two! Three! Now show us
your fist . . ." Herkimer opens his fist and throws mashed banana at the magician, and the magician
chases him off the stage.
61. Elevated Gum Skit
Props: Sun glasses, briefcase, T — shirt, box of candy, straight man, greaser, jock.
Skit: Straight man enters chewing gum, carrying briefcase. Walks up to elevator, pushes button, goes in. Chews gum
like it’s losing its flavor, decides to stick it to the wall . . . door opens . . . he leaves.
Greaser enters, pushes button, enters elevator. He leans on the wall and his hand sticks to the gum. He pulls his hand
off the wall (which is hard to do). Greaser looks at the gum, stretches it out some, picks his nose, gets grease off his
hair, sneezes, cleans his ears . . . all this gets on the gum. He chews it a while, door opens he throws the gum on the
back of the elevator and then he leaves.
Jock enters, dumb, spacey, letter jacket on . . . typical jock. He enters the elevator, leans on the wall (back wall) and
the gum gets stuck:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Head and elevator
Hand and head
Both hands
Foot and both hands
Both feet and both hands
Hands
Knees
Hand to face
The jock finally gets free, sticks the gum on the elevator wall where it originally was. Straight man enters, sees the
gum, and decides to chew it again and then leaves.
62. Sex(mud) Skit
Props: Notebook, paper, and pen. Two guys or club leaders.
Skit: The 2 guys sit in chairs in front of the club; one is dressed like a psychologist, the other is a patient. As the scene
opens the doctor holds up a circle (drawn on paper) where everyone can see it and asks the patient what it reminds
him of. He goes wild screaming, "Sex, sex, sex."("mud, mud, mud") Next the doctor holds up a triangle, and asks the
patient what it reminds him of. The patient goes wild again screaming sex (mud). The doctor then holds up a square
and again in the patient goes wild. The doctor says, "I know what your problem is. You’ve got a dirty mind." The patient
says, "Me? You’re the one with all the dirty pictures!"
63. Reggie and the Colonel Skit
Characters:
Reggie, big, dumb. Bermudas, high socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, moustache, carries gun in front of him.
Colonel: short, limp, no gun, just small knapsack, has cane.
Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced English accent.
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Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look… Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: See what? No, no, where, where?
Colonel: Oh, Reggie, it was a beautiful condor, 8 foot wing span, beautiful colors.
Reggie: No. I didn’t see it.
Colonel: Wish you’d pay closer attention. (They continue walking)
Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: No, what?
Colonel: A spotted Zebra…wish you’d pay closer attention.
Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie? Did you see it?
Reggie: No, I missed it…what was it?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.
Reggie: An ooh-aah bird. What’s an ooh-aah bird?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays a 3 pound egg, like this: Ooooooooooh
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (face lights up). (Continue walking)
Reggie: Whispers to audience: next time I’ll say yes-pretend like I saw it. I’ll fool him.
Colonel: Reggie, Reggie, did you see it? (Excited)
Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!
Colonel: Then why in heaven’s name did you step in it?!
64. The Pencil Salesman Skit
Sales mangager and Dumb Salesman enter.
Manager: Now I want you to pay close attention to me so you can become a great salesman.
Salesman: Duhh, okay.
Manager: First you hold your pencils in you hand and say, "Pencils for sale." Practice saying that.
Salesman: Pencils for sale, pencils for sale, etc.
Manager: Okay, that’s enough. Next, the first question people will ask you is "How much are they?" and you will say
"Ten cents. Three for a quarter."
Salesman: "Ten cents. Three for a quarter."
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Manager: Right. They will ask you, "What color are they?" and you will tell them, "Yellow."
Salesman: "Yellow, yellow"
Manager: Good. Then the person will buy one or else he will say, "No, I don’t want to buy one" and you will say, "If you
don’t, somebody else will."
Salesman: If you don’t somebody else will.
Manager: Very good. Now, let’s practice it once and then you are on your own. (They go through the questions and
answers).
Now the salesman is alone on the street corner calling out "Pencils for sale." The first customer enters in a hurry, the
salesman doesn’t notice him, turns around, hits the customer and knocks him to the ground. He gets up, begins to dust
off angrily.
Customer: (outraged) Do you know how much this suit cost me?
Salesman: Ten cents, three for a quarter.
Customer: (furious now) What’s the matter with you? What do you think I am?
Salesman: Yellow.
Customer: Say, would you like me to punch you in the nose?
Salesman: If you don’t somebody else will.
Customer begins to beat the salesman up and both run off stage.
65. The Mona Lisa Skit
Here’s a skit idea that is guaranteed to bring a faint, yet enchanting smile to everyone at the very least. Have someone
memorize the words to the old Nat King Cole favorite "Mona Lisa." Then dress someone up as the Mona Lisa herself in
a long, black wig, black robe and black shawl. Build a picture frame out of some old boards and have the "Mona" sit
behind it. Drape the bottom of the picture frame to the floor so that the audience cannot see the Mona Lisa’s feet.
He is going to sing a very serious song for them. As the song begins, the curtain opens to reveal the Mona Lisa. The
singer turns to see the Mona Lisa and begins to sing to the picture. During the song, however, the Mona Lisa comes
out of character; she picks her nose, sneezes, cleans out her ear, shoots water pistols at the singer, blows a kiss to the
singer, eats a banana, and does any other things that you might think of. All of this should be done every time the
singer turns away from the Mona Lisa to face the audience. The skit ends with the singer getting a whipped cream pie
in the face, at which point the singer jumps through the picture frame and chases the Mona Lisa.
66. Monk Monotony Skit
The following skit is an easy one to pull off as you will need only three characters ( the Main Monk, Monk Monotony
and a sign carrier) and one prop (a large sign which reads "ten years later"). The audience is asked to imagine a
monastery where Monk Monotony has just taken a vow of silence.
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Main Monk: So Monk Monotony, you have just taken a vow of silence? (Monk Monotony shakes his head "yes") Do
you know what this vow of silence means? (Monk Monotony shakes his head yes) That’s right, you cannot say
anything but two words for the next ten years. You may go now.
(Monk Monotony exits. After 20 seconds in which the Main Monk does nothing, the sign carrier enters slowly from right
and exits slowly to the left, carrying the sign which reads "Ten years Later" Monk Monotony enters).
Main Monk: Yes, Monk Monotony your first ten years are up, and you may say your two words.
Monk Monotony: Hard bed.
Main Monk: You many go now.
(Monk Monotony exits. After abut 20 seconds in which the Main Monk does nothing, the sign carrier enters slowly from
the right and exits slowly to the left, carrying the sign which reads "Ten Years Later" Monk Monotony enters)
Main Monk: Yes, Monk Monotony your second ten years are up, and you may now say your two words.
Monk Monotony: Bad food.
Main Monk: You may go now.
(Monk Monotony exits. After abut 20 seconds in which the Main Monk does nothing, the sign carrier enters slowly from
the right and exits slowly to the left, carrying the sign which reads "Ten Years Later" Monk Monotony enters)
Main Monk: Yes, Monk Monotony your third ten years are up, and you may now say your two words.
Monk Monotony: I quit (he begins to exit immediately)
Main Monk: Well, I am not surprised. You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.
67. Future Banana Skit
This short skit requires no words. A guy walks out on stage, sits on a chair in the middle of the stage and takes out a
banana. Meanwhile, the music from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey is playing in the background and the lights are
off with the strobe light on. The guy peels the banana and eats it to the music. If done properly, with appropriate facial
expressions, the results are hilarious.
68. You were Lucky-#1 Skit(The Liars)
I.
II.
Imagine us, sitting in the fanciest pub in England, drinking our Chateau de Chauclea wine.
Right you are, 30 years ago we would have been lucky to have had a cup of tea.
I.
II.
Cold tea.
Yes, without sugar or milk.
I.
II.
Or tea.
In a cracked and filthy cup.
I.
II.
We used to be so poor that we would drink tea out of a rolled-up newspaper.
You were lucky to have a newspaper, we used to have to suck our tea out of a damp cloth.
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I.
II.
We were poor but we were happy.
We were happy because we were poor.
I.
II.
Right you are, my daddy said that dollars would never buy happiness.
That’s because he never had any money, the bloody beggar.
I.
II.
When I was young we used to live in a house with big holes in the roof.
You had a house? You were lucky! We used to live in a bottle cap, 23 of us in the middle of the ocean.
I.
II.
Well, I say it was a house, actually it was a room — all 36 of us, and we had only half a floor. We had a big
hole in the middle of the floor and we used to huddle next to the wall for fear we would fall in.
You were lucky! We used to live in a hallway.
I.
II.
Well, you were lucky! We used to live in an abandoned septic tank in the middle of the garbage dump.
You lived in a septic tank? You were lucky! We lived in a paper sack in the bottom of a toxic waste dump.
Every morning we would awaken to nuclear waste being dumped on us until we glowed.
I.
II.
Actually, the house I was telling you about was no more than a hole in the ground, covered with twigs.
Well, you were lucky! We were evicted from our hole. We had to live in the bottom of the lake.
I.
II.
I.
II.
I.
II.
You were lucky to live in the bottom of a lake. There was 150 of us living in a shoe box in the middle of a
road. We dreamed of living in a lake.
You were lucky to live in a shoe box. We lived in a brown paper bag. All 300 of us! Got up at 6 a.m., ate a
crust of stale bread, and worked in the mills for 12 hours. When we got home Dad would beat us and put us
to bed with no dinner.
Well you were lucky! We used to get up at 3 a.m., strain the lake clean with our teeth, eat a cup of hot grave,
work 15 hours at the mill and when we got home our Dad would beat us about the head and shoulders with a
broken beer bottle and use us for kitty litter.
We dreamed of that! We used to live in a rusty tin can in the middle of the road. One hour after sunset we
would clean the road with our tongues, eat a handful of cold gravel and work 20 hours at the mill with no pay!
When we got home our Dad would cut us up with a dull gensu knife and use us for cheese fondue.
Well, you were lucky! That was luxury. We used to get up in the morning at 10 at night — which was half an
hour before we went to bed - eat a hunk of dry poison — work 29 hours a day at the mill and when we got
home or parents would kill us and dance around our grave singing "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah".
But you tell that to the kids today and they simply don’t believe you.
69. You Were Lucky Skit- #2
Use same guy starting each round and same guy going 2nd and 3rd. This will set up the conclusion. At the end, the 1st
guy gets fed up with the other 2 for topping him and jumps up and starts mouthing. The 2nd guy is mad at the 3rd and he
starts mouthing. The 3rd guy sits alone proudly stating that they were lucky. The other 2, in the meantime, get their
Chateau De Sauce and pour the water pitcher on the 3rd.
(NOTE: During the skit, one of us will need to take a break and go behind us to get the pitcher of Chateau to establish
the fact that it is there).
1st 2nd 3rd
ROUND 1 1. 9 brothers & sisters 20 brothers and sisters 43 brothers and sisters
Family 2. 2 room shack cardboard box hole in the ground
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3. Food — gruel & grits Food — snails, bugs, I dreamed of eating snails
so poor — no breakfast bark No breakfast & gruel, No breakfast,
echo — no breakfast No lunch, No lunch, No dinner
echo — no brk, no lunch echo
ROUND 2 1. Parents required "A" Parents required 100 Parents required 125
Educ. On every test every test and home- every test, homework
Pressure work test check, & final exam
2. my mama "Lady my daddy was a Marine my ole man was one of
Wrestler" would whup me drill Sargeant who Hell’s Angels, and he
With a leather strap was 6’9" tall. was 9’6" tall and weighed
Weighed 346 lbs. My old man2000 lbs. He didn’t whup
Ole man whupped me me with straps; he
with a stick whupped me with chains then tied me to the back of
his motorcycle and drug
me through town
ROUND 3 1. Plowing fields-every- I worked in a coal I cleaned out out-houses
Work body else had tractors mine-didn’t have no all we used was hands &
& disks; I had a shovel picks or shovels, I mouths, didn’t get no air
used a toothpick and
got air through a tube
2. many a day I worked I worked 22 hrs. a day I worked 29 hours a day
14 hrs. a day
3. worked so long that NO SUPPER, NO LUNCH NO SUPPER, NO LUNCH
I got NO SUPPER-echo --echo BREAKFAST, and what’s
More --echo
70. Radio Jumble Skit
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This is an easy to perform skit in which seven people are used. All seven persons (A,B,C,D,E,F, and G) simply stand in
front of the audience and read the script below when their turn comes. To introduce the skit, announce that this is what
happened one day, when you were trying to find a radio station to listen to. Each of the readers can wear a sign with
the name of a radio station on it, or dress up in costume. Each "Click" below indicates a station change. (The "clicks"
can be inserted at the appropriate times by an offstage sound effects person).
Person A: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Seymour Skidmarks bringing you the latest news in
the world of sports. The annual football game between _________ and __________ was played last week to
the enjoyment of a large crowd who went wild at the crucial point during the game when Coach ________
sent in … (click)
Person B: …three eggs, a cup of buttermilk, and a pinch of salt. Stir well and pour into a flat greased pan
or… (click)
Person C: …your new fall hat. This year, fashion decrees that women shall wear a large variety of charm
bracelets. A most popular design is to make them of… (click)
Person D: …old whiskers? If you do, just shave them off with Bates’ Better Shaving Cream. Use this cream,
and you will be so handsome that all the girls will… (click)
Person E: …bend over and touch the floor twenty times. This exercise is superb for general reducing. All
right now, pupils, again let’s bend over, up, over… (click)
Person F: …(Singing) the ocean. My Bonnie lies over the sea. My Bonnie lies over the ocean, oh bring back
my Bonnie to … (click)
Person A: … ________ who sailed down the field for a touchdown that tied the game. What a play! What a
perfect… (click)
Person C: …ly darling little summer bag that all you girls simply must have. At first glimpse they may remind
one of… (click)
Person G: …a bowl of soup. But it was tooooo hot. The second bowl was as hot as the first, but the third was
just right. Goldilocks ate, and ate, until she could…
Person D: …feel the stiff beard with your hand. Does that appear to be very romantic? Our foolproof way to
get a girl friend is to… (click)
Person E: …breathe deeply four times, and pound on your chest with the fists after inhaling each breath.
This enlivens the tissues and makes one feel… (click)
Person B: …puffy and full of air. This effect can be had by beating the mixture with a rotary eggbeater for
five… (click)
Person C: …hundred years. The things our grandmothers wore then are the most popular things today.
Already fashion leaders, prominent society women are trying to bring back more old-fashioned manners.
Their cry is "Bring back…" (click)
Person F: …(Singing) my Bonnie to me, bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me. Bring back,
bring back … (click)
Person D: …a nice soft chin and a host of compliments. If you use our cream, those whiskers will come out
with a … (click)
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Person G: …CRASH!! Goldilocks had broken the little chair all to pieces. Then she jumped up and started up
the stairs. There she saw three beds. The first bed was covered with a bearskin rug, which was too soft. The
second bed was covered with… (click)
Person A: …what looked like crawling things from the press box, but it was only the players in hard
scrimmage. We are looking with expectations to _______ winning their ________ championship this fall. The
players are in good condition and average weight is… (click)
Person E: …110 pounds. You, too, can weigh this much if you but follow these simple exercises. Don’t take
them too hard at first or you will probably have to… (click)
Person F: …(Singing) lay on a pillow. Last night as I lay on my bed; last night as I lay on my pillow, I
dreamed that my Bonnie was… (click)
Person B: …cooking in a hot oven about 450 degrees Fahrenheit. For an extra treat, garnish, add cloves or
whole… (click)
Person G: …bears? Will Goldilocks get home safely? How will the story end? Keep your radio tuned to this
station until tomorrow at this time for the next episode of this thrilling story. Until then kiddies, be sweet and
don’t forget too… (click)
Person D: …shave off the whiskers with Bates’. Our motto is… (click)
Person E: …stand on your head and wave your feet in the air. Gyn clothes are best for this exercise, but…
(click)
Person C: …on ostrich feather will do just as well. Take my tip and you girls will be as fashionable as…
(click)
Person A: …________, to whom we are looking for great things this year. This is your friendly announcer,
Seymour Skidmarks signing off and saying… (click)
Person C: …Night all!
78. A Day In The Desert
Place a glass of water in the middle of the floor, with a sign that says, "Oasis" three people crawl in, crying out, "Water,
water, we’ve got to have some water!" Two people die before making it to the water, but the third finally reaches the
glass. He picks up the glass of water, pulls out his comb, dips it in the water, and walks away happily combing his hair.
71. The Candy Store Skit
Four guys enter the "candy store," that is run by an old man (bent over, shaky voice, beard and cane). The first person
asks for a dimes worth of jelly beans. The old man notices that the jelly beans are on the top shelf and tries to talk him
out of it, but the person insists. So the old man gets a ladder and with much pain climbs to the top, gets the jelly beans
and comes down the ladder. He puts the ladder away. The second person does the same thing and asks for a dimes
worth of jelly beans. Again the old man goes through the same bit and gets the jelly beans. After he does, the third
person also asks for a dimes worth of jelly beans and the very annoyed and tired old man climbs up his ladder again
getting the jelly beans. This time while he is up there, he asks the last person, "I suppose you want a dimes worth of
jelly beans too?" The last person says, "No". The old man comes down, and puts away the ladder. "Now, what do you
want, "he asks. The person answers, "I want a nickels worth of jelly beans." The old man chases him out of the store
with his cane, shouting.
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72. The Flat Tire Skit
The scene is a roadside, and a woman is trying to change her flat tire, but is obviously having a difficult time. A
gentleman happens along and offers help.
He: What seems to be the problem?
She: I have a flat tire and I don’t know how to work this crazy thing (as she points to the jack).
He: Maybe I can help. By the way, how did you get this flat tire?
She: I was in such a hurry that I ran over a pop bottle.
He: Didn’t you see it?
She: How could I. The dumb little kid had it in his pocket.
73. The Sneak Thief Skit
Two gentlemen dressed in business suits walk into a restaurant on their coffee break and sit at a table that is covered
with a long table cloth. One has a newspaper under his arm. They both order coffee and one pulls out the paper and
begins to read. He shares some of the stories briefly with his friend and then whistles in surprise:
Man 1: (with paper) Did you see this article about the Sneak Thief?
Man2: No, what happened?
Man1: Listen to this (reads aloud). "Another series of bizarre robberies occurred yesterday in Hudsonville. Purses,
wallets and other items mysteriously disappeared. Police are baffled and have no clues as to the thief’s identity or how
he or she strikes without being seen. The public is warned to be on their guard until the thief is apprehended.
Man 2: That’s unbelievable!
They continue to talk, the waitress brings the coffee, one man signs the check. They drink the coffee quickly. One man
looks at his watch and says, "We’d better get back to the office." They both arise and walk out minus their pants and
clad in bright colored boxer shorts. (The two should practice getting out of their pants so that the audience does not
notice. The operation is hidden behind the tablecloth. If loafers are worn, shoes can easily be slipped off and on again.)
74. Our First Kiss Skit
The couple is seated next to each other either on a couch or in two chairs as if they were in a car at the drive-in.
GUY: I really hope she had a good time tonight. I know I did!
GIRL: I wonder if he enjoyed being out with me tonight. I had such a great time!
GUY: I’ve never felt this way before about a girl. I hope she likes me as much as I like her.
GIRL: I’ve never felt this way about a guy. I hope he likes me as much as I like him. (pause) Maybe he’ll hold my hand.
GUY: I think I’ll hold her hand. (pause) Her hand is so soft...as soft as a rose petal.
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GIRL: I hope he puts his arm around me. He’s so nice.
GUY: I think I’ll put my arm around her. She’s so nice.....as nice as a princess.
GIRL: I really like him....If only he knew how much. Maybe.....maybe.....He’ll kiss me.
GUY: I really like her...If only she knew how much. Maybe....maybe......I’ll kiss her. (pause) If only she would stop
eating those M&M’S!
(she still keeps on eating in a nervous way)
GUY: Oh, well......Here goes........
(cue "Romeo & Juliet Theme")
GIRL: what a sweet kiss!
GUY: (says this out loud so the audience may hear)
What a sweet kiss!
(Hershey’s Syrup runs out of his mouth as if he "acquired" it during the kiss).
75. You Got Me, Buddy Skit
Materials: Toy gun (submachine gun is best); Toy gun that shoots or a recording of gunfire music. Strobe light
(optional); and gangster clothing
The concept we built up was that two people were sitting in a train (outside of Chicago in the Carpathian Mountainsfacing each other in front of the audience). The train is moving and they are bouncing around. A third person enters the
train and jumps out. He is somewhat behind the one passenger and facing the other. The person says, " All right
Capone, the gig is up. We’re tired of yer thievin’ cheatin’ ways! No more will you steal the canes from little old ladies
and take the change out of pay toilets. The gig is up." To which Capone can only reply, "All right Mugsy, give me your
best shot!" At this moment, the gunfire erupts, the lights go off and the strobe light begins. Everyone is kind of moving
around. When the gun-fire finishes, Capone says, "You got me buddy, You got me Pal, you got me Buddy!" Then why
aincha dead yet?" queries Mugsy. "Because, you got.....pause.......me Buddy!" At this moment, the other passenger,
sitting with his back to Mugsy and reading a newspaper the whole time, keels over.
76. Naked Bacon Skit
Roadie: I didn't hear you say, "he's chasin' me."
Rowdy: What?
Roadie: I didn't hear you say, "he's chasin' me."
Rowdy: What are you talking about?
Roadie: I just -- just a second -- I just didn't hear him say, "He's chasin' me." If I had heard him say "he's chasin' me",
I'd have chased him.
Rowdy: Are you telling me that I didn't say, "He's chasin' me"?
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Roadie: I didn't say that you didn't say, "He's chasin' me". I didn't hear you say, "He's chasin' me."
Rowdy: Oh, you didn't hear me say, "He's chasin' me".
Roadie: If I had heard you say, "He's chasin' me", I would have chased him. If I could live my life all over again, I
would.
Rowdy: Don't make a big deal out of this. It is not necessary. I just wanted to know if you heard me say, "He's chasin'
me", and you said, "No". You answered my question. Now... did you hear me say anything?
Roadie: I didn't hear you say, "He's chasin' me."
Rowdy: I didn't ask, "Did you hear me say "He's chasin' me" I asked, "Did you hear me say anything?"
Roadie: Yeah, but you're trying to get me to say that I heard you say, "He's chasin' me." I didn't hear you say...
Rowdy: No, I am not. I am asking Roadie a simple, straight forward question. I'm asking Roadie, it's a yes-or-no
question, did you hear me say anything? Yes or No?
Roadie: I didn't hear you say "He's chasin' me."
Rowdy: Did you hear me say anything? Yes or No?
Roadie: Yes
Rowdy: Yes, what?
Roadie: Yes, sir.
Rowdy: That is not the answer I am looking for.
Roadie: No, sir.
Rowdy: No is not right either.
Roadie: If yes and no are wrong, then I don't have a choice. I am wrong either way.
Rowdy: This is a two part question... not a yes or no question. First part, did you hear me say anything? And you said,
"Yes."
Roadie: Yes.
Rowdy: You said yes and no. Which is it? Yes or no?
Roadie: I heard you say something.
Rowdy: Oh, you did?
Roadie: Yes.
Rowdy: What do you think you thought you heard?
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Roadie: I didn't think I thought I heard you say "He's chasin' me."
Rowdy: Well, what do you think you thought I said?
Roadie: I didn't think I thought what I heard is what you said.
Rowdy: I don't want you to think about what you think I thought. I just want you to tell me what you think you thought
you heard.
Roadie: I didn't think I thought I heard what you think you thought you said.
Rowdy: I know what I said. I said, "He's chasin' me."
Roadie: I think that--yes, I heard, yes sir, something, no sir. . .
Rowdy: Don't go on and on. I just want to know what you think you thought you heard. If it didn't sound like, "He's
chasin' me," what did it sound like to you?
Roadie: It didn't sound like you said, "He chasin' me."
Rowdy: Than what did it sound like?
Roadie: It sounded like I thought I heard you say, "Naked" or "Bacon" or "Naked Bacon."
Rowdy: Of course, that makes all the sense in the world. I'm going to run through here, stop, turn to Roadie, and say,
"Naked Bacon."
Roadie: It didn't make any sense to me either. So I just ignored him.
Rowdy: I know Roadie believes he understands what he thinks he thought I said, but I'm not sure he realizes that what
he thought he heard is not what I meant. Do you understand, I did not say, "Naked bacon?"
Roadie: Then I apologize. I'm sure--with enthusiasm--you did say, "He's chasin' me." So it is my fault, I just didn't hear
you.
Rowdy: What were you doing?
Roadie: I was nervous. I was taking a mental nap.
Rowdy: A mental nap?
Roadie: With a capital "R." I just didn't hear you. I was emotionally vague.
Rowdy: You were emotionally vague. Now what does that mean?
Roadie: It's a point of view.
Rowdy: Uh-huh.
Roadie: With no target.
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Rowdy: This is obviously going no where.
Roadie: Thank you very much.
Rowdy: It wasn't a compliment.
77. I Hate It When That Happens Skit
This one is straight from Saturday Night Live in the 80’s. Two people are sitting around exchanging stories about what
they hate happens and the stories get bigger and more exaggerated every time.
78. The Dog Crap Skit
Two people walking along discover some fecal looking matter (wet chocolate candy works well), and after looking,
feeling, smelling, and tasting they decide that it is dog crap and it’s a good thing they didn’t step in it. They can also get
into challenging the other person to feel it, small it, and taste it. End together with the line, "It looks like dog crap, it
smells like dog crap, and it tastes like dog crap, good thing we didn’t step in it!"
79. Pizza Man Skit
Is a great way to have some fun introducing a new leader (or just get a YL leader from a neighboring club that no one
knows). As the prize for one of your games, announce that the winner will get a free small pizza from [fill in popular
pizza delivery in your area]. Have the new leader show up as the pizza guy. He can wear the hat and everything! After
he brings in the pizza, he sits down by one of the kids. Nobody can get him to leave. Have him sing real bad, pick his
nose, and even ask some of the kids about one of the female leaders he thinks is cute. Acting frustrated, ask him if he
has pizza to deliver. You can take it as far as you want towe made it last three weeks. He can also come in and be
completely into everything going on in club. Completely fooled the kids, and they loved it!
80. Peanut Butter Deodorant Skit
3 characters: girl, boy, and another boy who has amazingly large pit stains on his shirt.
Nervous boy comes over (wearing a jacket over his pit-stained shirt) to girl's house to pick her up for a date.
Brother of girl answers door, small talk, and asks nervous guy to take off his jacket.
Nervous guy refuses, and eventually does, revealing amazingly huge pit stains on shirt.
Asks him about it, the guy says he just gets too nervous sometimes, and he wishes there was something he could do
about it.
The girl's brother says he used to have the same problem, before he found the best deodorant ever: peanut butter.
The brother demonstrates, by showing his peanut butter-covered pits (which he needs to have under his arms all this
time, and he doesn't have to take his shirt off. He can have it on his shirt) The nervous guy is impressed, and liberally,
and I mean liberally, applies it to his pits (the outside of his shirt). Just then, the girl enters, says something like "hey
Steve, are you ready to go?" And then the nervous guy, who is now confident, says "why bother going out for dinner?
Dinner's on me!"
Then the girl gets a couple of pieces of bread which are sitting somewhere close, and wipes them on his pits and eats
them like a sandwich. (Yes, this is pretty gross. As you can guess, this skit depends upon finding a female leader who
is willing to do this. Good luck.) Props: peanut butter, bread, jacket for the nervous guy which hides his pit stains at
first.
81. Where Did You Come From Skit
This skit is a movie theater scene. I row of people are watching a movie, and one person is on the ground moaning and
screaming in pain. The people try to get the person to be quiet because he/she is interrupting the movie. After a series
of interaction someone asks, "Where are you from anyway?" The person answers, "The balcony." (As in — they fell
from the balcony.)
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82. Eddie Spaghetti Skit
Eddy Spaghetti is a guy who makes spaghetti at lunchtime at work, and he has brought all that he needs in strange
places, like spaghetti in his shoes, Parmesan cheese in his hair, etc.
82. Joey Baloney Skit
Joey Baloney is a guy who makes baloney sandwiches at lunchtime at work, and he has brought all that he needs in
strange places, like bread in one shoe and baloney in the other, mayo under one arm and mustard under the other,
and maybe a knife and a plate in a strange place too.
83. The Emergency Broadcast System Skit
This skit involves all of the leaders. They get up front and someone says, "This is a test of the emergency broadcast
system, this is only a test." One person makes the "eeeeeee" sound that we hear on the radio, then the first person
says, had this not been a test but a real situation the following would have happened. The second person makes the
"eeeeeee" sound again and all of the leaders go crazy and run out of the room like the world is coming to and end.
84. Cooking With Kodiak Skit
Cooking show where hosts love Kodiak. Sprinkle lots on everything and eat. Slice a Kodiak tin with a razor, clean out
and crumble Oreo outsides to look like dip. Have a couple of real tins to throw out to crowd and for smell. Make milk
shake in blender, salad, etc.
85. M&M’ On The Park Bench Skit
Have an attractive girl sitting on a chair with an empty chair next to her. A studly guy comes in to pounding music. Sits
down. He puts the moves on her, no dice. He leaves. Nerd comes in to twinky music eating LOTS OF M&M’s. He puts
dorky moves on. Girl responds. He gives her a long kiss. When they sit up, look at audience, she smiles and chocolate
syrup she’s had in mouth all along, oozes out, down face.
86. Enlarging Machine Skit
You need a very large box to look like a machine. You then will put things into the machine and they will come out
larger (frisbee, ball, flower). Then you will put a baby doll in and out will come a kid dressed in a diaper.
87. Mr. No Depth Perception Skit
A few family scenes where the husband has no depth perception. The funny part is that they guy doesn’t realize it. He
pours his coffee and misses the cup, he looks out the window and his head goes through the window. Go crazy! Make
up your own.
88. Toothpaste Commercial Skit
(4 leaders) I like this toothpaste because it whitens my teeth. I like this toothpaste because it freshens my breath. I like
this toothpaste because it fights cavities. I don’t know about the toothpaste but I sure like the water. Everyone uses the
same toothbrush and gargles with the same glass of water. The last person drinks the glass of water.
89. Park Bench Fishing Skit
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An old lady is sitting on a park bench pretending like she is fishing. There is a man at the other end reading a
magazine and minding his own business. A park officer comes by and tells her she has to stop a couple of times.
Finally he tells the old man to get her out of there. The old guy looks perfectly sane but then he pretends the park
bench is a motor boat, acts like he is starting it and riding away.
90. Blind Date Skit
A guy and a girl are on a date. He realizes that she is actually blind, so starts doing all sorts of crazy things, finally she
tells him that she’s only blind in one eye.
91. Boys In The Sandbox Skit
3 guys sitting in a s sandbox talking like kids. The one says "Hey, I hear there’s some new girls in town! Yuk, gross,
etc." "We hate girls." Then the girls come in with hair in pig-tails and carrying dolls. They abuse them with, "Is that your
face or did a ferret crawl up your collar!" etc. After a few insults the girls get upset and say, "Well if you don’t want to
play with us we won’t share our tickets to the Final Four!" The guys go crazy apologizing . "We’re sorry! We didn’t
mean it. We’ll be nice!" Then the girls get together and conference and decide OK you can come with us, but first you
have to play house!" The guys get together and you hear, "Play house, we’d rather die, or have scabies! No way!" Until
some one distinctly says "final four!" to which they all nod and come out and openly agree. The girls conference and
then decide guys all have to carry dolls. The guys go through the same and finally agree. The girls say, "You have to
hold our hands". The guys finally comply. Then the girls give an envelope with tickets. The guys tear it open to find the
final four tickets to the Barbie Doll Beauty Pageant. Each boy and girl exit holding hands and boy crying.
92. Creativity Test Skit
You’ll need a nerdy computer person and a smart looking psychologist.
Mr. Tolson is knocking at the door on the door of Dr. Roberts the in-house psychologist.
Dr. Roberts: Mr. Tolson
Mr. Tolson: Are you Dr. Roberts?
Dr. Roberts: Yes, come in. Please have a seat. Sorry to have to call you down here on such short notice, but your
company asked me to give you a creativity test.
Mr. Tolson: I’ve never taken one of those before
Dr. Roberts: Well, they’re pretty easy. Actually, they can be fun. Would you like a beverage?
Mr. Tolson: I work in the computer center on the 17th floor. We just got a new computer in and they put it in the back of
the center. And all I did, I told them that they should put it up in the front of the center, so more of the people could get
to it, but they didn’t.
Dr. Roberts: Fascinating. Okay, the first test that we’re going to do is called a word association test.
Mr. Tolson: I don’t know what that is.
Dr. Roberts: Well, it’s pretty simple. I’ll give you a word and you say just whatever you can think of.
Mr. Tolson: Well, that sounds easy.
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Dr. Roberts: Great! Okay, well let’s start. First word, "shoe".
Mr. Tolson: shoe
Dr. Roberts: "rabbit."
Mr. Tolson: (long pause) Rabbit
Dr. Roberts: Trunk
Mr. Tolson: truck
Dr. Roberts: Okay, you’re just saying the words that I’m saying.
Mr. Tolson: I know, but when you say the word, that’s the word that I think of.
Dr. Roberts: Okay, it’s my fault then. Let’s try again, only this time I want you to change the word.
Mr. Tolson: Okay, so not just the same word.
Dr. Roberts: Great. You’re catching on. Okay? Next word "hat"
Mr. Tolson: Hatssss.
Dr. Roberts: "moose"
Mr. Tolson: Meese.
Dr. Roberts: Okay, now all you are doing is just pluralizing the words that I’m saying.
Mr. Tolson: Yeah, but they’re different.
Dr. Roberts: Yeah, they are different, but that’s not what I want. Okay, let me give you an example. Why don’t you give
me a word.
Mr. Tolson: I give you a word
Dr. Roberts: Yeah, any word.
Mr. Tolson: "Word"
Dr. Roberts: Fine, Uh, that makes me think of "constriction" (folds arms across chest in a constrictive manner). Don’t
worry you’ll catch on. Let’s try it again. Okay, "trumpet"
Mr. Tolson: "Constriction" (folding arms in same manner)
Dr. Roberts: "Scarf"
Mr. Tolson: "Moose"
Dr. Roberts: "Cat"
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Mr. Tolson "Scarf"
Dr. Roberts: All right, now you’re just using the words that I’ve already used.
Mr. Tolson: Well, you didn’t say that I could use them up.
Dr. Roberts: Well, you can. Okay? Why don’t we just move on to another test.
Mr. Tolson: They got this new computer up in the computer center and I just told them they should put it up front, but
they put it in the back.
Dr. Roberts: That’s fascinating. Okay? Look, uh, for this next test I’m going to start a sentence and I want you to
complete it, okay?
Mr. Tolson: So all I have to do is finish it. Okay, all right. Well this one sounds easy.
Dr. Roberts: Okay, great. Now here is the first sentence. When we went to the park we were going to.......
Mr. Tolson: period.
Dr. Roberts: Okay, look, you have to add some words to it. Okay? Squeeze some words between the period and the
other words all right. Let’s try it again. Let’s do another one. Jerry had a wonderful red balloon and he took it to....
Mr. Tolson: His friend Jerry...who also had a red balloon...and liked to add words.
Dr. Roberts: Look Mr. Tolson, I need you to come up with some answers on your own. Okay?
Mr. Tolson: We got a computer and they wouldn’t put it in the front and.....
Dr. Roberts: Look, I heard you the first time.
Mr. Tolson: Are you angry at me?
Dr. Roberts: No, Mr. Tolson, I’m not angry at you. Let’s move to the next test all right. This is called a Rohrshach Test.
What it is, is some people took a piece of paper and put some ink on it and folded it. What I need you to do is look into
these ink-blots and tell me what you see. (Holding up ink blot) Now, what do you see here Mr. Tolson?
Mr. Tolson: A black smear.
Dr. Roberts: Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. I need you to look into it and tell me what you see.
Mr. Tolson: (Looking at the Dr.’s shoes) I see black shoes.
Dr. Roberts: That’s good, I could see that.
Mr. Tolson: (looking at the Dr.’s tie.) I see a brown tie.
Dr. Roberts: Um hum, good, good.
Mr. Tolson: (Looking at the wall) I see a diploma from Grand Valley State University.
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Dr. Roberts: That is enough Mr. Tolson, you will not leave this office until you tell me what you see in this.
Mr. Tolson: I don’t want to, I don’t want to.
Dr. Roberts: Look, I’m going to make you use one creative bone in your body if it’s the last thing I do. Now look at this
and tell me what you see. Tell me.
Mr. Tolson: I see a dog. (struggling)
Dr. Roberts: Good.
Mr. Tolson: And it’s on a log. (continuing to struggle)
Dr. Roberts: Good, go with that.
Mr. Tolson: And the dog is a terrier...and it’s rabid... and it shakes its head back and forth in meaningless anger.
Dr. Roberts: Good, good, good.
Mr. Tolson: And foam sprays from its mouth and we follow this droplet of spit down to see where it lands on a
symmetrical lawn and the drop of spit slowly transforms becoming a flaming brass eagle holding the Magna Carta in its
claws. This eagle takes flight and soars over the (spit) gray convulsive Atlantic Ocean. (lowering voice) It flies low by
the choppy waves a massive shimmering sea bass leaps up and it snatches the Magna Carta. But the sea bass is
served to the family of Long John Silver’s restaurant. And as the family devours the fish the father is transformed. His
eyes glow wolf-yellow, he starts at his claws and a massive crowd gathers around and he screams wildly into the night
sky. "Where is the passion?" "Where...is...the...passion?"
Dr. Roberts: (stunned) I’ll see what I can do about getting those computers moved.
Mr. Tolson: Yeah, on the 17yh floor and they put it in the back.
Dr. Roberts: Sure, okay.
93. Abdul The Magnificent Skit
This is a mind reading skit which, when done right, is downright spooky. Give each person a slip of paper, and ask
them to write out their greatest ambition in life. The slips are then folded, collected, and "Abdul" (who should be
dressed appropriately) proceeds to perform the task of reading the sentences to the group without opening the papers.
How is it done? Abdul also puts one slip of paper in the box along with the others, only he puts some kind of identifying
mark on his. When the reading starts, he picks one of the slips from the box, rubs it on his forehead without opening it,
and offers any sentence as a guess as to what is on the paper. He then looks at the paper, and to his dismay he is
wrong, but that will soon be forgotten. He can blame it on the fact that the "spirits" aren’t quite right yet, but that the
next one should be better. It’s important not to dwell on this mistake long. Just get on with the next one. It’s also
important not to reveal what was actually on the paper guessed incorrectly. Just get ride of it and go on. Another slip of
paper is held to the forehead, and Abdul then repeats the sentence that was actually on the previous paper. After
rubbing his forehead, he opens this second slip of paper, confirms that he is correct and asks the person who wrote
that sentence to identify it. Everyone is impressed. Another paper is drawn and again, Abdul repeats the sentence that
was on the previously opened slip. Each time he opens up a slip of paper to see if he is "correct" he is actually learning
the next sentence. The important thing is to stay one slip ahead. When he comes to his own slip, which has been held
until last, he repeats the sentence on the previous slip, and that takes care of all them. If this is done smoothly, it will
really baffle the group.
94. You Were Lucky Skit (Hudsonville Version)
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Intro. Imagine us sitting in the Old Time Diner, drinking our coffee.
Theule: You know, 30 years ago we would have been lucky to have a cup of coffee. Cold coffee. Yes, without sugar or
milk — or coffee. In a cracked and filthy cup. We used to be so poor that we would drink coffee out of a rolled-up
newspaper.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! To have a newspaper, we used to have to suck our coffee out of a damp
cloth. We were poor but we were happy, we were happy because we were poor.
Werf: My daddy said that dollars would never buy happiness, but that’s because he never had any money that dirty
beggar. When I was a kid, we used to live in a house with big holes in the roof.
Theule: You had a house? You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes Lucky! We used to live in a bottle cap, 23 of us in the middle
of Lake Michigan.
Werf: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! When I said it was a house, actually it was a room — all 36 of us, and we
had only half a floor. We had a big hole in the middle of the floor and we used to huddle next to the wall for fear of
falling in.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We used to live in a hallway.
Theule: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We used to live in an abandoned septic tank in the middle of the garbage
dump.
Werf: You lived in a septic tank? You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We lived in a paper sack in the bottom of a toxic
waste dump. Every morning we would awaken to nuclear waste being dumped on us until we glowed.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! Actually the hallway I was telling you about was no more than a hole on
the ground covered with twigs.
Theule: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We were evicted from our hole. We had to live in the bottom of the lake.
Werf: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! To live in the bottom of the lake. There were 150 of us in a shoebox in the
middle of the road. We dreamed of living in a lake.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! To live in a shoebox. We lived in a brown paper bag. All 300 of us! Got up
at 6 a.m. and ate a crust of stale bread, and worked in the muck for 12 hours. When we got home Dad wold beat us
and put us to bed with no dinner.
Theule: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We used to get up at 3 a.m., strain the lake clean with our teeth, eat up a
cup of hot gravel, work 15 hours in the muck, and when we got home our Dad would beat us about the head and
shoulders with a broken beer bottle and use us for kitty litter.
Werf: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We dreamed of that! We used to live in a rusty tin can in the middle of the
road. One hour after sunset we would clean the road with our tongues, eat a handful of cold gravel and work 20 hours
in the muck with no pay! When we got home our Dad would cut us up with a gensu knife and use us for cheese
fondue.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! That was luxury. We used to get up in the morning at 10 at night — which
was a half an hour before we went to bed — eat a hunk of dry poison — work 29 hours a day in the muck and when we
go home our parents would kill us and dance around our grave singing, "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah."
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Theule: But you tell that to the kids today and they simply don’t believe you.
95. Do Brothers Skit
Have a shaving cream fight to the Dueling Banjos song
96. Cupid Skit
Girl sitting on park bench. Guy comes in and likes the girl but she doesn’t respond. Cupid comes in and shoots girls
and she gets real affectionate and scares the guy. Then the cupid shoots guy. Instead of getting all lovey, guy dies.
Cupid takes his place on the park bench.
97. Hallway Skit
Stage Placements: 2 guys facing one another at opposite ends of stage and 2 girls in the back talking to one another.
Remain frozen during speaker’s speech.
Sociologist: Good evening, tonight we want to demonstrate the phenomenon of casual social interaction. This took
place in a school hallway and in order to realize the extraordinary events that we have documented, you must pay
careful attention. Okay, lets cut the lights and roll the tape.
2 guys start walking toward one another and when they pass, they accidentally bump into each other slightly. One guy
says, "Hey man, watch where you’re going!"
Other guy: "I’m sorry."
Sociologist: Lights please. Alright, did anyone see the intense interaction taking place? No? I told you, you really have
to pay close attention. Maybe it will help if we play the tape back and slow it down a little. Okay then, rewind the tape
and kill the lights.
All the characters rewind their actions, including the girls in background, in fast speed. Wait for the strobe light and
repeat scene but slower speed. This time, when guys bump into each other, one of them grabs wallet out of the other
guys pocket. Freeze at the end of scene.
Sociologist: "Lights up. This time you people had to see it. We are simply amazed at the flurry of activity that teenager
are capable of producing in such a short time span. Did everyone notice this? You still aren’t able to realize what’s all
happening? People, don’t blink. I guess we’ll have to slow the tae down even more. Play it again, please." (Characters
rewind)
Scene repeats but this time guy taking wallet knees the other guy in the stomach, chops him on the back of head, and
then takes his wallet when they bump. Rest of scene takes place the same (after bump)
Sociologist: "Lights! This is amazing. I can tell by your lackluster reaction that you are still not seeing the phenomenon
we’re trying to show you. Let’s slow the tape down even further and play it one more time." (Rewind)
Scene repeats but when 2nd guy get kneed in gut and chopped, he grabs arm of 1st guy that has wallet and swings over
back so laying flat on ground. Pop back up for rest f scene to proceed.
Sociologist: "Lights up again. Now what do you think? Wait a minute. You can’t be serious. The full range of events has
still not been revealed to you? This is ridiculous. I can only slow this tape down so much. Rewind the tape, slow it
again, and lights off."
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The scene repeats the same as last time but as 2nd guy flips 1st guys and gets wallet back, one of the girls walks over
and knees guy in groin, takes wallet, pushes guy over on ground, walks back to friend, together they look on wallet,
pull out the money, and give one another high fives.
Sociologist: "Okay, you finally saw what we did. Thanks for being an attentive audience. Good-night.
98. "He Said He’s Met You Before!" Skit
Characters: (1) Old man; (2) Old woman; (3) gas station attendant.
The old married couple are sitting in two chairs up front. They are acting as if they are driving in a car — with the old
man’s hand on the steering wheel. They pull into a gas station, and the old man roles down his window.
Gas station attendant: "Can I help you?"
Old man: "Fill ‘er up."
Old Woman asks the old man, "What’d he say?"
Old Man: "He asked if he could help us."
Old Woman: "Tell him to fill ‘er up."
Old Man: "I told him to fill it up."
Gas station attendant: "Where are you two headed?"
Old Man: "We’re going to Disneyland."
Old Woman: "What’d he say?"
Old man: "He asked us where we’re headed."
Old Woman: "Tell him we’re going to Disneyland."
Old Man: (disgustingly) "I told him we’re going to Disneyland!"
Gas station attendant: "Where are you two from?"
Old Man: "We’re from Hudsonville."
Old Man: (angrily) "He asked us where we’re from!"
Old Woman: "Tell him we’re from Hudsonville."
Old Man: (very angry) "I TOLD HIM WE’RE FROM HUDSONVILLE!"
Gas station attendant: "Hudsonville, I’ve been to Hudsonville before. The women there are DOG UGLY!"
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Old Man: (looks at the old woman, then at the gas station attendant, and then back to the old woman and says) "He
said he’s met you before!"
Curtain closes — or lights go down — and music comes on (ideally), or old woman and man get up and walk out of the
room like old folks.
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RUN-ONS
Run-on’s are simply ongoing, weekly quick leader skits that bring in some tie of characters and lines. They have also
been called "interrupters". Some focus in some way on selling camp; however, it remains the primary purpose of the
run-on to make kids laugh (hopefully laugh hard) and enjoy themselves, along with focusing them up to the front of
club. MCYM has masterfully done run-ons throughout the past decades and we need to continue to do so.
All run-ons take lots of work to be excellent as well as creativity to make them a success. The following is a list of
principles to use as you create your run-on and then a list of characters that may help you think of something workable.
You can certainly make up your own new ones.
Run-on Principles
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Always leave them wanting more. Short is better than long every-time.
Use music to enter and exit characters. It should be loud and moving. You want kids to go nuts when they
hear the music begin.
Think through at least one "repeater" line that kids may pick up and say with the character. Good lines will
even be used in school by kids later!
The opening line and the ending line will be the most important and should be consistent each week. It will
help you music cues and will help the run-on end. More often than not the ending of the run-on kills the whole
thing. Think about it, even Saturday Night Live skits that fizzle at the end leave us a little depressed. A great
ending will be looked forward to and win every time. Begin with the end in mind!
High energy will always outlast low energy in run-ons. Yelling is fun! Screaming is fun, think high energy!
1. Foible Award Or Geek Of The Week Run-On
Each week your resident geek comes out and gives an award to the kid who did the most ridiculous thing during the
past week. Kids turn in nominees at club the week before. Leaders pick a winner and give them the Foil Ball award.
They must carry it to school and bring it back bigger next week. Make the kid a hero not a loser.
2. Scenes That Didn’t Make Star Wars Run-On
There is a movie director who comes in to music each week as the steady character (this person needs to be funny).
Each week they set the stage for a different scene that didn’t make Star Wars. Examples:
• Jabba the Hutt, trying desperately to lose weight, meets Richard Simmons.
•
•
•
•
Yoda abuses Luke by throwing things at him as he teaches Luke to Feel the Force. He gives up and decides
to teach Hooked On Phonics instead.
Darth Vader as a child gets abused for his costume on the playground, choke holds a kid, and then gets sent
to the principal’s office. This was the beginning of his asthma problem.
Princess Lea confesses to Chewbacca that it is him she loves, not Han Solo.
A video of the making of the special effects with dolls.
3. Retainer Boy And The Evil Orthodontists Run-on
Basic swanky 70s evil orthodontists only have 1 patient, retainer boy so each week Retainer Boy comes in to give
them some presents and try to make them like him. Instead they build the retainer bigger and better each week (Nerf
hoop, TV antenna) until he finally tears it off and teaches them a lesson.
4. Impressions Of An Administrator Run-on
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Great one if you have a good relationship with a principal, coach or a teacher, that the kids would not suspect. You
stop club and explain that although they may not know it, you actually are very good at impressions and that some kids
at club urged you to share this. You do your best impression of the principal (teacher, whomever) and as you really
ham it up, they walk in behind you repeating what you say. You realize you have been set up and apologize, they pie
you in the face and walk out. Make them the hero.
5. Other Possible Run-on Ideas
Vikings, cheese-heads, cone-heads, evil Easter Bunny or Santa, captain champion, any spin-off’s of recent movies, TV
shows, sale-person selling products, hapless scientists, magicians, workout video hosts, spin-off of a daytime talkshow host with different guests, a professor who comes in and reads goofy instructions, poems, deep thoughts, etc.
6. Poetry Corner Run-on
This is someone who comes in very seriously to read poetry, only the poem is from a song off of the radio which has
some goofy lyrics. The more you get into it the better.
7. Reggie Vego-matic Run-on
Materials: One box to fit over a person with a hole cut for a head to fit through with "slice, dice, mix, and blend" written
on it. Food materials
A salesman comes out and demonstrates the many uses for the "blender." For example, the salesman puts in a carrot,
an apple and an onion. Each time he stops and samples the puree. The salesman finally makes a milk shake with ice
cream, milk and chocolate syrup. The salesman takes this concoction and then drinks it, or plant someone in the
audience to drink it.
8. Mr. Glove Run-On
Video-tape a glove as it explores a different adventure each week. Have Mr. Glove visit kids houses that go to club.
You can plant stuff in there desk (Barney video, New Kids on The Block CD..ect) We had Mr. Glove go into a persons
bathroom and accidentally drop tooth brush (look alike) into the toilet. At the end of the run-on have camera show who
Mr. Glove is (Principle is the best of all scenarios.)
11. Spaz Boy Run-on
Someone dresses up in a crazy costume, possibly with a shirt that says, "Spaz-boy". He runs into club, around and
over everyone, and runs out.
12. Hack-saw and Corn-bread Run-on
Two hillbillies Hack-saw and Corn-bread from Itchy Butt Arkansas come in each week and perform amazing new
games that they came up with which really aren’t that fun at all. In the end they think of something great which is
probably something that you will do at fall or summer camp.
13. Wee Man Run-on
Started with a leader who really liked quoting Top Gun. You know the scene where Goose keeps correcting Maverick
that "we" saw the MIG, etc? Well, we created Wee Man. He comes out to do announcements, or just to give a weekly
update of what he's been doing. Need two people to pull this off each time. Make up fun conversations that contain
many words with "we" in them. The straight guy tells the majority of the story, but saves all the "we's" for Wee Man
(played a bit as a geek--funky clothes, etc.). Example: "So yesterday -we- didn't have much to do, so -we- -we-nt out in
the yard to -we-ed the flowerbeds. -We-ll, you'll never believe what -we- saw!!..." Also works well if you follow up with
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"The Lion Sleeps Tonight". Invite Wee Man to stay and lead the "Weee" section of the group!! Lots of fun. Takes a
couple runthroughs before club so you don't flub up.
14. Axel & Smash Run-on
Here is a fun run-on for club. Two leaders dress up as punk rock musicians with clothes and long-haired wigs using toy
guitars. When the music comes on (use hard/punk music) they come dancing through the crowds with guitars in hand
until they reach the front. When they reach the front the music stops and the dialogue goes like this:
Axel: "Hi! I'm Axel!" Smash: "And I'm Kid Smash!" Axel/Smash: "And we're rock stars! We're in a band, and we have
friends who are going to rock this house!"
At this point the music comes on again and they begin to air band to the music. Another leader starts to yell:
Leader: "Stop the music! You guys are a joke! You aren't even rock stars!" Axel/Smash: "We aren't!?" Leader: "And
you don't have a band!" Axel/Smash: "We don't!?" Leader: "And you guys don't have any friends who are going to rock
this house, and you won't either!" Axel/Smash: "We won't!?" Leader: "No! Get out of here! You guys are a bunch of
phonies!"
Axel and Smash start to leave and before they reach the end of the door, they turn around and yell,
Axel/Smash: "Hey (Leader's name)! We'll be back!"
And then they go. We used this walk on 5 or 6 times during the beginning of year, and we set up the final act for the
last club of the year where we actually got a band together and had a semi- concert/dance with songs like YMCA,
Twist & Shout, Johnny B. Goode, etc. This was a great way to end the last club!
15. Duct Tape Man and Side Kick Run-on
Wrap a jump suit, gloves, hard hat and boots in duct tape, or see Wireless One catalog for duct tape apparel. You may
either have something in club "accidentally" break each week, or you can use it to sell camp. For example, the bus
ride: duct tape man can explain how tough a bus ride can be and tape an assistant to the seat, a pillow to their head to
sleep, a water bottle to their mouth, headphones to their head. He could help in future weeks with other aspects of
camp needing tape…car wash (hose, sponge, towel to assistant), old suitcase for packing, water skis, volleyball. One
way that it can be done is that instead of fixing anything Duct Tape Man basically comes in and destroys what ever it is
he is trying to fix — but leaves a ton of duct tape all over it. You can also have a leader taunt him because he doesn’t
actually fix anything.
16. Energizer Bunny Run-on
Get a bunny costume and a big bass drum. Set the scene as a commercial. Lights on, a scene of two couples drinking
coffee at a table. One lady comments, "Gee, this coffee is delicious." Her husband says "Yes it is, could I have another
cup?" "Why sure" she answers. The thought of first women is done over a microphone: "That’s funny, Bill never drinks
another cup at home." Just then the Bunny enters pounding on the drum. The bunny stops beats on the table, knocks
out the couple and drums off the set.
17. Fred Gimmel, Stuntmen/Stuntwomen Run-on
Each week these famous two stuntmen (Fred and Gimmel) enter to Kick Start My Heart by Motley Crue, screaming
and dancing around. They yell to the crowd, "Are we an acne pimple?" They coach the crowd to yell back "NO!" "Are
we Bryant Gumbel?" (NO!) "We are…Fred Gimmel!" They scream again. They are stuntmen from camp to perform for
the kids. Each week they attempt a stunt, Gimmel injures a body part and flails on the floor and yells, "Tape it, you
gotta tape it!" While his partner Fred jumps in front and shuns the crowd "No, I will not tape it! I will not let you go o ! It’s
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over! The stunt is over!" The leader tells them it is over and to get off the stage. Each week when they come back
Gimmel is more bandaged up until by the last week he has a neck brace, leg wrap, and a backboard.
Stunts include: lifting 1500lbs. (Gimmel tears his colon-he gets a semicolon!); juggling knives (cuts his tongue);
parachuting into a glass of water (dummy off the roof); karate chopping a board (smash plaster hand). The last club
Gimmel can save the leader’s life.
18. News Show Run-on
Pattern it after Saturday Night Live news. You may have guest commentators. Make fun with school events and
happening around the school. Use copies of pictures on over-heads as slides to commentate. You may even mock
local newscasters.
19. Fish Man Here Run-on
Fish Man (swimming fins, mask, snorkel, wet-suit), enters to music and brings in his trusty assistant (a large dead
carp). He can help preview camp and use the fish to demonstrate all that the kids can do this summer. Blob the fish (air
pillow into a bowl of water), zip line the fish (string on wire across room). You may even have him meet a lady-fish as
well. We suggest you use a fake fish.
20. Cheerleaders Run-on
Watch the Saturday Night Live cheerleader skit. They may cheer for people doing different events at camp. Always end
with a dance cheer like they do. Have a strong finish.
21. Loud Mel or Loud Sid Run-on
Sid or Mel is a lovable character with SAD (sound amplification disease) who interrupts tender moments in club (like
the leader wants to sing a serious song or share a poem-don’t worry, you never get to share it_ because he is so loud).
(All his movements are amplified by microphone-like the Fly In The Library Skit). Each week he begs to stay, the leader
lets him, but eventually drives the leader crazy so he gets thrown out. Have him carry a briefcase with things each
week (eat a candy bar, clip toenails etc.)
22. Entertainers Run-on
Sal and Vin have dazzled crowds with their humorous spin-offs of ventriloquism, mime with words, puppetry, magic,
story-telling. You must have funny folks to pull this one off.
23. Super Heroes Run-on
This is a good one if you have no leaders with talent; however, the workload is incredible. Choose two leaders with
opposite body types (one tall, skinny and one shorter and rounder). Together they will form different tandems of super
heroes listed below. Each week, an appropriate villain (Joker or Penguin or Batman and Robin) enters and attempts to
destroy your camp mascot (some stuffed animal). Every time the villain arrives, the lights go out, appropriate music
comes on, and your heroes come out in strobe and beat up the villain. Use Batman and Robin, Tarzan and Cheetah,
Lone Ranger and Tonto, Captain Kirk and Spock, Ninja Turtles. The last week, your villain comes in and tells the kids
that he/she is tired of getting beat up and will go to camp. The heroes come out and beat them up again.
24. Commercials Run-on
Each week take commercial breaks with you club sponsors. Use different commercial spoofs.
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25. Time Travelers Run-on
This run-on requires some video expertise and ability to get awesome uniforms. Have two good characters chasing a
villain, who has stolen the camp deed, around through time. Each time they get ready to catch him they end up in a
different time zone instead. You may use different movies clips like medieval period, Rome, the future. Does your
school have a video department? Some campaigner or student leader kids may be helpful to pull this one off.
26. Good Morning Videos Run-on (or Good Morning America)
Call parents ahead of time. Get to kids’ homes early and video tape them being woken up. Show video in club. You
may find it funny to mix in movie clips or use in conjunction with a run-on. Classic mistake is making it too long. It
should not last more than 1 minute per kid. Also don’t forget a light for your camera! Be creative on who wakes them
up (wake up fairy, your run-on characters, a spin off movie character, etc.) Don’t expect the rooms to have good
lighting - they won’t. Use a sleepy-time bed head pajama character to sell, pajama’s with footies and great patterns are
funny, sleepy-time music is on any kids tapes. No real winner or trophy needed to make this one a tradition, just
remember, always leave them wanting more.
Ask them questions like...how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Then interview the person’s
teddy bear, or try any approach that’s spontaneous and funny. Responses from kids so early in the morning are bound
to be funny.
Guidelines:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Warn the parents. They may think you’re crazy, but most parents respond favorably to anything focusing
some attention on their child.
Select young people who will respond appropriately. Shy kids will just hide under the covers.
Make the most of the moment. Wake them up slowly, and have some fun before they are fully conscious.
Take someone along to help. One of you can interview, and the other can work the camera.
School days are better than holidays or weekends. They’ll have to get up early anyway, and the freshness of
the experience will help the word get out at school.
Don’t let the cat out of the bag. The only ones who should know anything about your plans are staff and parents.
Surprise is essential.
27. Funk Master Daddy Run-on
Play Jungle Boogie by Kool And The Gang to interrupt club. Fink Master comes in dancing when the lights are out and
the strobe light comes on. The lights come on when the bass kicks in and he dances his way to the front dresses in
ultimate ‘70’s cloths. He says, "Peace, love, power to the people, grooooovy!" with exagerated hand motions (repeater
line). Then he says, "I have traveled from afar and nobody can hang with me!" When he finishes, a different person
comes out dressed as a cowboy, rapper, etc. That person says, "I heard you say nobody can hang with you, well hang
with this!" Their country, rap, music plays again as he shoves Funk Master around. When Funk Master hits the ground,
Stayin’ Alive comes on and starts coursing through his veins. He starts wiggling and moving and jumping around as he
comes back alive. Finally he dances out to the music.
28. Spike and Myron Run-on
Spike is the hard core black leather jacket thug. Myron is the nervous, unsure, nerdy character that everyone feels
sorry for each week. Myron comes in each week with a new costume/idea that he is really excited about (Mr. Rogers or
the Sesame Street theme song works fine). Spike’s music comes on (Bad to The Bone/Welcome To The Jungle) and
he picks on Myron until finally he tells Myron to leave. As the run-on goes on Myron gets more and more abused until
finally he gets Spike in the end and comes out as the hero. The run-on can also build until Myron becomes more and
more liked until he finally tells spike off and comes out as the hero. Myron can also be excited about different little
crafts that he has been making each week, which Spike comes in and crushes.
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29. Ricky and Ricki Run-on
These are two guys who are twin brothers from different mothers. They are not so smart and have crazy stories about
growing up.
30. The Love Mechanic Run-on
The Love Mechanic is dressed up as a mechanic with tool belt, etc. He comes in and says that he is The Love
Mechanic and that, "I’m The Love Mechanic, and I’m just here to help." What happens is that students send (well not
really, he makes them up) letters with love problems and he then gives advise. For example, "Dear Love Mechanic, I
have a really big problem. My boyfriend, Jim Bob, went huntin’ last weekend and when he came back with his deer, he
wouldn’t let me gut it. What kind of a boyfriend doesn’t let his girl gut his deer? What should I do? Betty Lou Magu." To
which The Love Mechanic gives his reply, "Dear Betty Lou, Well, that’s a toughy, but I think I can help. You need to
take a good look, Betty Lou, at Jim Bob and see him for what he really is, A TURD, and you know what you do with a
turd. You FLUSH HIM! I’m The Love Mechanic. I’m just here to help." He then leaves to his mechanic music. Each
week the boyfriend gets called a turd and the girlfriend is told to flush him.
31. Dr. Baytose Run-on
"I am the amazing Dr. Baytose and I can do amazing things!"
32. Big Rig Run-on
Materials: deoderant : spray; roll on; pump; and solid. Slices of bread or bun, jar of peanut butter, tank top
A leader announcing to the club about his occupation. This person will fill in what problems he has drivin’ the biiiiiig
riiiiigg on the road. So here is "Scottie." Scottie comes out and sits down and starts talkin’ about how he drives the biiiig
riiig all over (the towns around your area), but as he drives he gets powerful smelly. Not just your average smelly
either. And here Scottie falls into a rambling discourse of how smelly he is. "I’m talkin’ real smelly-just-got-my-nosecaught-under-the-belly-of-a-dead-fish-smelly-stuck-my-head-in-a-hamper-smelly-dog-died-got-stuffed-in-a-closetsmelly-had-a-dirty-diaper-fall-on-my-face-Whoo! And so I tried me a roll on." Scottie applies the roll on liberally. "I figure
nothin’ could beat the ol’ rooolllll on. so I’s drivin’ down the road again going ‘Man do I smell mighty fine!’, until I pull up
into a truck stop and the lady behind the counter says, ‘wooooeeeee do you smell bad!’ and I did. I stinks! And I’m not
talkin’ a little bad. I’m talkin’ dead fish washed up on shore smelly ol’ dress sock been sittin’ in my closet skunk
plastered to my radiater gril stuck my gym shorts in an ol locker SMELLY! So I decided to use some of that there pump
(apply pump liberally to both sides.), and then I say I’m smellin’ mighty fine. but you know somethin’ I barely drove five
miles and I don’t smell fine at all. I smell really bad. I smell…(you figure it out). Any way, Scottie then applies the stick
and reenacts the smelly stuff, finds out he still dosen’t smell good and goes through the same with the aerosal. Scottie
finally says, "But I finally found something that does work. Peanut Butter!" Scottie now applies the PB to the armpits.
"Yep! A little bit of peanut butter and I smell mighty fine while I’m driving the big rig! But y’know, when I’m driving the
big rig, sometimes I get powerful hungry! That’s why I carry me a little bread with me (pulls a couple of slices) and so
from time to time I make myself a little sandwich!" Scottie swabs the bread in the armpits and takes a big bite. "And
now I don’t get hungry while driving the big rig!"
More each week with hair problems (moose, gel, etc…), or sweaty feet…all with PB as the solution from a hungry
driver!!!
33. Mr. Glove Run-on
Video-tape a Glove as it explores a different adventure each week. Have Mr. Glove visit kid’s houses that go to club.
You can plant stuff in their desks (Barney video, New kids on The Block CD. Etc.) We had Mr. Glove go into a persons
bathroom and accidentally drop tooth brush (look alike) in the toilet. At the end of the run-on have camera show who
Mr. Glove is (Principle is the best of all scenarios.)
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34. The Bat Man Run-on
For this skit you will need the following supplies:
Batman mask, Robin mask, Black tights, Green tights, Flash light, and a cardboard cutout of a Bat symbol
Part One
OPEN: Mayor sitting behind desk with "Mayor" sign on desk, doing mayor-like stuff. In rushes villain, Big Foot alias
Sasquatch. He snatches us the mayor and runs out the door.
Mayor: (screaming) "Agony! Agony!"
Lights go out. The Batsignal (flashlight aimed at Bat symbol cutout) gleams in the distance. The lights come on and the
Police Commissioner is holding the flash-light.
(A great special touch we added was to get the actual Chief of Police of our town to play the part. It added that special
"guest appearance" touch.)
(Batman and Robin rush in all hero-like.)
Batman: "What is it Commissioner?"
Commissioner: "Batman! It’s horrible! The mayor has been mayor-napped by some horrible villain!"
Robin: "Holy missing mayors Batman!"
Batman: "Did you find any clues Commissioner?"
Commissioner: "Only this piece of hair."
Robin: "Holy hair balls Batman!"
(There is humor in repetition so try to set this line as one the crowd will know every week and with Batman)
Commissioner: "Batman, don’t you get cold wearing those skimpy tights?"
Batman: "Naturally you didn’t know I was wearing my special Thermal Bat Long Underwear!"
Commissioner: "Oh…right."
Batman: "Robin! We’ve got to get to the Bat Cave and analyze this hair to find out who kidnapped the mayor.
Robin: "Right Batman!"
Batman: "To the Ba… Do you have the keys, Robin?"
Robin: "Holy locksmith Batman! I thought you had them in your Bat Key Pouch next to your Bat-a-rang, Bat Beeper,
Bat Cell Phone, and your Bat Oakley Pouch."
Batman: "They’re not here!"
Robin: "They must have fallen out on the way in!"
Batman: "WE MUST FIND THE BAT KEYS!"
Robin: "Right Batman!"
Batman: "Let’s GO!"
Announcer (who is unseen): "Will the dynamic duo find out who kidnapped the mayor? Will they ever find the keys to
the Bat-mobile? Will [club kid] finally [action]? Tune in next week: Same Bat Time, same Bat channel!"
35. Hacksaw and Cornbread Run-on
Music plays — "Jungle Boogie" by Kool And The Gang from — Pure Funk
In comes Hacksaw and Cornbread (done up as hillbillies)
"I’m Hacksaw" — "And I’m Cornbread" — "From Itchy-Butt Arkansas, and we’re X-treme (X their arms in front of them
and gives high-fives etc. to the crowd.)
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Cornbread gives a little blurb about X-treme games and wanting to be on an extreme team, so they’ve made up some
new X-treme games, and they’ve come to Hudsonville to teach them.
Do the Extreme Game (#1 — spoons on their noses)
The "Straight person" stands up and says how stupid their game is and that it’s not X-treme at all. (Crowd boos him/her
and cheers for Hacksaw and Cornbread — get leaders in on this before.)
Hacksaw says that he knows _________ (the "straight-man") has an extreme side to him/her — just waiting to be
drawn out.
Music plays
"I’m Hacksaw", "And I’m Cornbread" "from Itchy-Butt, Arkansas, and we’re Xtreme!"
They leave with the music blaring.
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MELODRAMAS
1. Melodrama Minutes — The Homecoming Dance
Melodramas always include more action than funny lines because narrator laughs, and kid repeats the same line. Also
include dropping someone on a table, dog licking face, flexing muscles and a kiss on the cheek. Costumes are very
important.
Characters: Joan Junior, Stanely Stud, Freddy Freshman, Barlow the Dog, Couch, and Table
PROPS: uniforms, flowers, telephone, music, lipstick, lemon, mouthwash, Lysol.
Our story opens at the home of beautiful Joan Junior, five days before the homecoming dance. Joan is sad
and forlorn because she has no date for the dance. She sits on the couch and pets her dog Barlow, saying , "Oh
Barlow, I feel like such a low-life scum poodle…I wish someone would invite me to the homecoming dance." Barlow,
sensing his owner’s displeasure, licks her hand, slobbers on the couch, and lies down. Joan rubs her nose and gazes
off into the distance sighing.
Suddenly the phone rings (ring). Joan wipes her arm on the dog and picks up the phone. Stanley Stud, a
cool, highly attractive and all-around legend-in-his-own-mind kind of a guy is on the other end. He says he would like to
come over and ask Joan something very important. Joan says, "I’ll be waiting for you here, liver lips."
Joan knows that Stanley Stud is coming over to ask her to the dance. Realizing that she is short on time to get ready,
she does her lip exercises, bites a lemon so she can pucker up for tonsil hockey, puts on lipstick, gargles and sprays
herself with Lysol.
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. The dog barks and wags its tail, Joan yells, "Coming my little sweet
treat." Joan flings open the door, only to find that it’s not Stanley Stud but Freddy Freshman, holding flowers and
drooling at her door. "What do you want, you pencil neck geek?"
Freddy hands her the flowers, gets down on his knees, and says timidly while drooling "O Joan, I realize that
I am nothing but a gutter scraping ameba but would you go to the dance with me?" Joan kicks him and says, "Not on
your life moose breath!"
Suddenly there is another knock at the door. Joan opens to find suave, hip and sophisticated Stanly Stud,
who says, "Hi Joan, it is I, Stanley Stud." Joan nearly faints, falls into Stanley’s arms and say, "Stanley, you’re so hot!"
Stanley says, "You’re so right!" Stanley suddenly sees Freddy on the floor and says, "What’s that pond scum doing
here?" Before Joan can answer Freddy jumps to his feet and says "I’ve come to ask Joan to the dance, you highly
mature and excellent dude." Barlow wags his tail, licks Freddy’s hand and burps. Stanley laughs and says, "That will
be the day!"
Freddy suddenly gets an idea…"Tell you what, let’s have a dance contest and the winner gets to take Joan
to the homecoming dance, okay?" Stanley laughs so hard he falls down. Then hi gets up and says, "You turnip head,
everybody knows that I’m the best and funkiest dancer in the whole school! You won’t have a chance!"
The music comes on and Stanley dances with Joan. After they are done, Stanley turns to Freddy and says, "Beat that
buckaroo!"
Suddenly Freddy starts to shake, the lights go off, and the music comes on. Freddy dances like no one on
earth. As the lights come on, Joan screams, "Freddy, you’re my hero! Not only will I go to the dance with you, I’ll even
pay for dinner!" The two go off hand in hand. At the close, we see Stanely Stud standing in the room weeping. Barlow
the dog comes over and licks his had and walks out.
2. Melodrama Minutes - Beverly Hills 90210 - The Lost Episode
Cast: Brenda, Brandon, Mr. arid Mrs. Walsh, Donna, Dylan, Bow Wow (Dylan's new dog), the lamp, the doorbell, the
table, the chair
(Enter Brenda and Brandon)
Brandon: "Hey, Bren, whatsup?"
Brenda: "Not much, Brandon. What do you think of my new hairstyle?" runs left hand slowly through hair, then smiles a
subtle smile)
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Brandon: "1 don't know, Bren. Let me turn the lamp on so I can see you better." (Turns3-way lamp on brightest setting.
lamp gains intensity from each of 3 arm pulls).(Brandon gets look of horror on his face . Brenda gets look of anguish on
her.....
Brandon screams loudly.. Brenda screams louder)
Brenda: "What's the matter?"
Brandon: "Nothin' sis. I just thought that I saw a bunch of rattlesnakes on your head, but it was probably just poor
lighting"
(Enter Mr. and Mrs. Walsh. He sits in the chair. She briefly sits on his lap, then decides to sit on the table)
Brenda: (whining voice) "Mom, Dad, Brandon just insulted me"
Mrs. Walsh: (hands on hips, sighs heavily) "Now, Brandon, apologize to your sister."
Mr. Walsh: (scowls, then says sternly) "Yes, Brandon, apologize, but Brenda, first go take that owl's nest off your
head."
Doorbell rings. Enter Donna, hopping up and down ever so slightly; and Dylan, swaggering and studly)
Dylan: (wrinkles forehead) "Hey, everybody"
Everyone: "Hey, Dylan"
Dylan: "Do you mind if my new dog Bow Wow comes in?"
Mr. Walsh: "No problem, but if he makes a mess on the floor, you have to clean it up."
Dylan: "No problem, big guy. I'll just use that floor mop on top of Brenda's head. Come in, Bow Wow"
(Doorbell ringsJ Bow Wow enters panting heavily, says his name, sniffs Donna's ankle)
Donna: "Oooooooh. Icky ucky, pooh he's slobbering on my new outfit
(Bow Wow says his name again, moves over to the lamp, thinks about doing something lies on his back with feet
pointed in the air instead)
Brenda: (looks enviously at Donna) "Nice outfit, Donna, where'd you get if from?"
Donna: (giggles, scrunches her nose) "From Pierre's-To-go on the Boulevard. I wanted one of those maroon and white
outfits like those kids at ISS wear, but they were all out. Nice hair, by the way - I didn't know that you got the part of the
scarecrow in the school play."
Brenda: (whining again) "Mom, Dad, I just can't face the kids at school looking like this. That hunky Trevor Wimer guy
that I want to notice me won't even take a second look."
Mrs. Walsh: (smiling as only a mother smiles) "Well, we were going to wait until tonight to tell you our surprise, but I
guess we'll tell you now instead. Go ahead, honey.
Mr. Walsh: (smiling as only a father smiles) "Just this morning I was eating my third bowl of Frosted ChocolateCovered Sugar Bombs cereal, when I found a Lucky Draw ticket in the box It said that my wife, two kids, two of their
friends, and one of their friends' pets (the other characters look at each other and nod; Bow Wow says his name and
smiles a doggy smile) had just won a free three-week trip around the would Wowsy, huh!"
Brandon: (exhales while shaking his head slowly) "Wowsy, indeed, Pop, but I can't go, and my guess is that Bren,
Dylan, Donna, and Bow Wow aren't interested, either."
Brenda, Dylan, Donna, Bow Wow: "That's right, Mr. and Mrs. Walsh - but thanks for the offer"
Mrs. Walsh: (bewildered) "But why wouldn't you want to go?"
Dylan: (wrinkling forehead again) "A 3-week trip would mean 3 weeks away from Young Life, and that's something I
can't deal with Those (leader’s names) Dudes and their friends are some of the hippest folks I know. Plus, they give me
hair advice."
Brenda: (stroking Dylan's hair) "Wow, do you think they can help me with mine?"
Everyone looks bewildered. Doorbell rings. All but Bow Wow all rush to answer it and leave. Brenda starts to cry. Bow
Wow licks her hand, and Brenda screams and starts to chase him. Bow Wow knocks over the lamp, the chair, then the
table. Brenda chases him out the door.
3. MeloDrama Minutes- The Brady Bunch
Mike, Carol, Greg, Bobby, Peter, Cindy, Jan, Marsha, Alice, Tiger, Sam the Butcher, Table 1.
Scene: In the kitchen table 1 is there.
Greg and Marsha walk in
Greg says: "Marsha, you're a pig."
Marsha responds: "Well, so are you."
Greg and Marsha say more insulting things...
Greg and Marsha begin to hit each other...
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At this time Alice walks in and says...
Alice: "Stop! Try to be good!"
Marsha and Greg begin to hit Alice...
Mike and Carol, Mom and Dad Brady walk in...
Mike: "You kids stop that fighting right now or we'll make you sleep in and not go to Campaigners this week.
Kids immediately stop. They look penitent. Alice also.
Carol: "Now, that's better!" Why can’t you kids behave more like___________________and__________________your
Young Life leaders?"
Mike: "Well now Carol, even we aren't that good.
Everyone shakes their head and nods in agreement.
Bobby and Cindy and Tiger come in (Tiger on all fours)...
Mike and Carol: "Hi Kids!"
Bobby and Cindy: "Hello Mom and Dad."
Tiger wags his tail, barks, licks Mike and Carol on their hands. Mike and Carol pat his head. Tiger goes under the table
where he rolls out his tongue and pants loudly and happily.
Sam the Butcher comes in with Peter and Jan. Jan holds her hand over her left eye.
Sam says: "Hi everybody."
Everyone says: "Hi Sam!"
Sam says: "Here's your steaks!"
(Sam holds the steaks up)
Alice says: "Oh Sam, you're a fine man!"
(Gives Sam a hug.)
Sam says: "You're a fine woman.
(Gives Alice a kiss.)
Sam then says: "Say Alice, let's get married."
Alice says: "OK!"
Everyone cheers
Alice then says: "But maybe we should first ask the Young Life Leaders to make sure it is a really good idea."
Bobby and Jan say: "Oh, good idea!"
Everyone nods and murmers in agreement.
Suddenly, Tiger grabs a steak from Sam and hides under the table. Sam bellows and jumps onto the table and tries to
reach Tiger. Tiger shoots out, runs around all the people with Sam in pursuit. Tiger runs to Jan and gives her the steak
for the black eye she just happens to have.
Jan says: "Oh Tiger, you're wonderful!"
She hugs the dog
She covers it with burning kisses
Tiger licks her face
Bobby says: "Yes, you're the best dog there ever has been."
Bobby hugs the dog
Bobby... pats Tiger on the head.
Tiger licks Bobby's hand.
Mike puts his arm around Carol and says: "Because you're all so good,
I'll take you all out to dinner and then we'll go to a Pistons playoff game,
and afterwards we will all go out for ice cream where I'll give you keys to new cars.
Carol says: "Oh Mike, what a good idea! What good parents we are!
However, all the kids look glum... and groan. Parents: "What's wrong?"
All kids: "But parents, there is Young Life tonight and we don't want to miss it!"
The End
4. Melodrama Minutes - As the Stomach Turns
Here is an impromptu promotional minutes which requires only preparation by the narrator. Select your players and put
them in their appropriate places on stage. Instruct the cast to carry out the action suggested on each line of narration
read. Read the narration, dramatically and with great emotion. Pause after each line until players have finished the
required action.
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Players: Narrator, Lucille Lovelorn (guy), Phillip Pharpar (holding picture frame in front of him), Franklin Pharpar (with
ring and phony check)
A door (use fist as doorknob)
A table (have person on hands and knees)
A telephone (person sitting on table, using arm as receiver)
A picture frame
Props:
A ring
A phony check
Narration:
And now, the Young Life presents another episode in the continuing life drama, "As the Stomach Turns." Last time,
luscious Lucille Lovelorn had spurned Dr. Preakbeak’s advances because her precious Philip Pharpar would soon be
graduating from law school and they would be married.
Today’s scene opens with Lucille standing next to the picture of Philip which is hanging on the wall of her apartment.
Lucille is humming a happy tune to herself as she stares wistfully at her beloved Philip.
"Philip, I miss you so much," she said as she caressed his cheek.
"Hurry home to me," she begged.
Then she kissed his picture passionately.
Suddenly, the telephone rang.
Lucille pranced to the table, picked up the receiver and sweetly said, "Hello."
She smiled and said, "Oh, Gladys, it’s you."
Then she frowned darkly.
Philip had found someone new. Philip had told Gladys to tell Lucille goodbye forever.
Lucille slammed down the receiver angrily and began to cry.
She ran over to the picture of Philip and screamed, "You loser."
Then she slapped the picture viciously, and began to cry louder.
She took the picture of Philip and turned it to the wall; and began to cry louder.
Then she threw herself on the floor and began to cry louder.
Suddenly, Franklin Pharpar, Philip’s younger brother, approached the door and began to knock vigorously.
Lucille got up, straightened her hair and skirt, and jerked open the door.
Franklin entered the room quickly and said, "Lucille, have you been crying?"
"What’s it to you batface?" pouted Lucille.
Then she slapped him painfully across the face.
Franklin slammed the door as viciously as Lucille had slapped him.
"I’m sorry," cried Lucille.
Then she began to weep upon his shoulder.
"Philip left me," she sobbed as she pointed to the telephone.
"Tommyrot," said Franklin as he stepped back quickly.
"He does love you," he said.
"He sent me with this for you," he said.
Lucille gave a shriek of joy as she took the ring from Franklin’s hand.
Then she gave Franklin a big hug.
Lucille leaped to Philip’s picture and spun it around to face her.
"I love you too, darling," she cooed.
Then she kissed his picture even more passionately than before.
Lucille began dancing around the room with Franklin.
Suddenly, the telephone rang again.
Lucille hopped to the phone and jerked up the receiver.
"Hello, hello, hello," she sang happily.
"Oh, Philip, it’s you," she sighed.
But then a frown clouded her face.
He had found someone else; they were through.
She slammed down the receiver and angrily threw the ring to the floor.
Then she whirled and slapped Franklin.
"You are a liar," she screamed.
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Then she jumped to Philip’s picture.
"You are a worthless animal," she shrieked.
Then she slapped his picture mercilessly.
Then she wrenched the picture from the wall, and threw it to the floor.
Franklin dropped to one knee and clasped his hands.
"But I love you, my flower," he sang.
"And I have something more valuable than a ring for you, my pet," he said.
Then Franklin pulled a check from his pocket for the amount of ____________.
Here was the supreme gift. He wanted to pay her way to ______________.
Lucille squealed with delight.
"What a lovely thought darling," she sighed.
They embraced happily.
Then they walked over Philip’s picture and out the door to their new life ahead.
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OTHER CLUB IDEAS
1. Pizza Delivery Olympics Club
At the beginning of club call three different pizza places and order whatever you need. Start the timer and have a
watchman at the door. Go on with the club as scheduled. Whenever you hear the doorbell or watchman, stop what you
are doing, play the Olympic theme song for them, and have the delivery person come all the way up front and reward
them with the appropriate medalgold, silver, bronze. Make the kids cheer and make the delivery person a hero.
2. Scavenger Hunt Clubs
Have a Polaroid or video camera scavenger hunt. Teams get points for certain pictures (50 points for a team in a jail
cell, 10 for a pyramid in a grocery store). Make it outrageous for bonus points, kids will figure it out.
3. Harem/Hism Night Club
Guys compete to see who can get the biggest "harem" to club. Girls get the biggest "hism." Sell this in advance and
prime some kids to have their harem dress up or wear uniforms and stage an entrance. Some groups can be huge.
Take some pictures before or after club.
4. Clash Of The Classes Club
This is similar to the harem/hism idea. Seniors and freshmen team up to bring as many kids as they can from their
classes. Juniors team with sophomores. Do class competitive minutes. Have an award or a trophy for winning classes.
5. Guiness Book Of World Records Ice Cream Sundae Club
Build a huge ice cream sundae in 80 feet of gutter (plastic is cheap). Try to build the massive sundae in waves and
then when it is "official" they all take spoons and begin to eat.
6. Bigger And Better Hunt Club
Each team starts with the same item (penny or egg) and goes door to door trading for something bigger and better
(dressers, canoes, water-heaters, etc). Meet back at appointed time. Make sure the people in the homes know that
they will not be getting their item back.
7. Sound Scavenger Hunt Club
Each team gets a tape recorder and points for different sounds.
8. Pizza Club
Some weekdays are slow for pizza places. If we guarantee them say $200 ($4 a kid x 50 kids), they win and we get the
place to ourselves. Have club there and then chow on pizza.
9. Backward Club Or Draw Your Club
Just like it sounds: talk, slow songs, skit fast songs. Or put all the parts of club on paper in a hat and draw for what’s
next.
10. Theme Clubs
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Beach clubs, country(kick) clubs (maybe even get a barn and have a hoe-down), 50s night, 70s night, 80’s night, etc.
11. Euchre Tournament Club
This is not a substitute for club, but is a great tradition here with our kids. Invade McDonald’s for an all club 30 team
Euchre tournament. Get permission from your fast food place and bill them as your "sponsor" in the first annual
McDonald’s/Young Life Euchre Tournament (or any other restaurant. Have leaders in referee shirts, a tournament
board (two and out is best) and lots of decks of cards. Play all games to five if you have a lot of kids and make sure
you have a board with set rules. Committee can join in and really spice this up with prizes and even be table judges.
You may also have a station with committee and leaders to help teach those who do not know how to play. Give them
their own bracket and then work them in to play in the tournament as well.
12. David Lennoxman Show Club
Do the whole club as a late night TV show spin-off. Have a great and funny host or this will be a disaster. Have: a late
night band of kids with a "Paul Schaffer," a window and breaking glass noise to throw cue cards through, a top ten list,
Letters to Dave (show on overhead). Have commercial skits at breaks, blow bubbles from behind the desk. Include
stupid human tricks by their teachers and coaches. Go "love’ through inter active video that throw objects of a six-story
building into the parking lot. Maybe even finish the night with your guest by using the King Umbazee skit. Watch the
show…be creative.
13. Time Warp Dance Party Club
May be best with middle school and great emcees. Start at the caveman time period and travel forward in time. Teach
kids a dance from each era. You can do a skit also (for caveman era: Do the Dinosaur by Was Not Was, and Caveman
2001 Bowling). You can skip from caveman to ‘30’s, ‘50’s, (maybe have some committee teach the old dances) with
the disco ‘70’s and New Kids ‘80s.
14. Nuclear Ultimate Football Club
This could cost some money so prepare adequately. Purchase around 50 glow sticks, six strands of little Christmas
lights, one glow in the dark necklace per person playing and about 10 Nerf "Luminator" series football. They are each
powered by nine volt batteries and are around $15 a football. Take your crew out to a dark field, build an end zone and
playing field with Christmas lights and glow sticks for sidelines. Split into two teams (different colored necklaces). Play
ultimate Frisbee rules with the footballs. This event costs about $5 a kid: however it is an incredible visual image and
something they will never forget.
15. Dating Game Club
Have kids put names in a hat the week before and pick four girls and four guys. (Three contestants and 1 alternate).
Line up one guy and one girl from another school to be the contestant. Go over questions ahead of time to eliminate
marginal ones. Do up the night with a M.C. "Vanna", song from original Dating Game is by Herb Albert and the
Tiajuana Brass, called the "Spanish Flea". Video tape date to show in Club. Campaigners and Discipleship plan and
execute date like a progressive dinner in public places. (i.e. hors de yours in a park, with a strolling violinist). Have a
creative way to chauffeur them around. (i.e. Theme is trip around the world, the van is decorated as airplane with the
pilot and flight attendant reads funny safety instructions). Interrupt with funny things and don’t leave them alone much
since it can be very awkward for the kids. You may also incorporate commercials throughout your show!
16. Human Scavenger Hunt Club
Type up a few lists of categories of folks to locate. I.e. two golf team member, four lacrosse players, two band member,
a first baseman, football player, three freshman girls, go nuts. Bring lists to school on club day, right when school is
out. Give lists to team captains, leaders in the school. They may get as many people to help, and should try to get all
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the folks listed. Tell them to bring them to club. Plan ahead, and have a big place. Emphasize the competition but
watch for brawls and discord. Folks may get way too competitive. Works great but will take some thought and planning
on your part.
15. Gallager Food Smash Club (Sledgeomatic Club)
Make a huge sledge hammer. Smash small to big stuff and you will trash everything.
16. Banana Night Club
Have a party based on the theme of bananas. Have everyone come dressed as a banana (they should at least wear
yellow). Admission to the party is one banana per person. Prizes for games could be Bic-bananas. Make and eat
banana shakes or banana splits. Adapt you favorite songs to have a "Banana-a —long" and include favorites like: "My
Old Kentucky Banana," "On Top of Old Banana," etc.
17. Revenge Night Club
In club pass out check-list of messiest skits done in the past year. Have kid spick 3 favorites and hand in the list. The
next week in club have the leaders compete in the most requested skits.
18. Class Weigh In Club
Have each class weigh in before club. The class with heaviest total wins.
19. Senior’s Club
Have the last club of the semester run by and for the seniors. One club even had the tradition of handing out blue jars
to seniors every year. After a few years the seniors couldn’t wait for the last club for the blue jar ceremony.
20. Outside Club
Occasionally have club outside and do some relays with a talk at the endno songs, or perhaps on medium and one
slow.
21. Weekend Club
If the event takes a long time to pull off, skip the weekday club and have it on Saturday night. Have the talk at the end.
22. Body Snatcher’s Night
The goal is to get as many people to club as possible without causing major injury. The method is to: go to student’s
houses; run up to their door; convince them to join you for a night of Young Life; leave an informational sheet about YL
for the parents (which tells what YL is, who runs YL in your area, explains what is going on that night, and includes the
list of leaders and committee members along with phone numbers); and promise to drive them home. Have a large
group of official drivers, leaders and committee members. Score points for different people, like 1,000 points for
someone who has never been to YL before. The winning vehicle gets a prize. Club might have to be shorter tonight.
Have a sheet that explains all of the rules to everyone.
23. Foil Ball Contest
Each week the winner of a contest adds more foil to the ball and brings it back next week.
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VI. CLUB TALKS
Talk Preparation
Ask the Lord to give you a message outline for the semester so things flow together. Having this 12week vision takes the pressure off having to “dream up” a topic week by week.
Preparing a message sequence ahead of time ensures that you touch on the entire Gospel over a
period of time; it also helps volunteers understand what is coming each week and where they are
going.
Once you have your sequence, check out:
•
•
•
Creating the Talk
10 Points on Preparation
Illustrations
Typical Message Sequence Outline
Often summed up into “Person, Problem, Provision & Participation."
12 weeks of club talks should cover the following topics:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Introduction to Club: What is YL/GG? What will we do in the meetings?
God’s Character: Is there a God? What is He like?
The Person of Jesus Christ: The claims and credentials of Jesus.
Human Need (Sin): What is sin? How does it affect relationships with others, with God?
The Work of Christ: What is the meaning of Christ’s death and resurrection?
Appropriation: Why should we be committed to Jesus Christ? What does that commitment
mean?
The Christian Life: What is it like to be in a relationship with Jesus? What are the implications
of our faith?
Creating the Talk
Do not prepare your talk on the day of club. The talk should be done at least one day in advance. The
earlier it’s prepared, the better.
1. Main Point
Write down the one main point or conclusion of your talk before you prepare anything. Know it
forward and backward. If you botch everything else, what is the one thing you want kids to
remember?
2. Body
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The body represents the Scripture(s) which illustrates the thesis. Within the body, you need to
make a social application by looking for parallels in kids’ lives.
Scripture -- Choose the Scripture passage to present and know it inside and out. Don’t try to
make it say what you want it to; let God’s Word speak to you (Hebrews 4:12). Read it several
times and observe what the text is saying. Take notes on what you see, put yourself in the
story and use all your senses. Personal experience of the Scripture helps you communicate
with passion!
Be accurate with the Word. Don’t take liberties with Scripture just to be entertaining or to fit
your point.
Scripture comes first, not the talk. The talk is based on Scripture, not the Scripture crammed in
to fit the talk.
Illustration -- Choose a relevant illustration that supports your conclusion. Personal
illustrations help kids get to know you. But be aware of overusing illustrations, to the point of
lifting up ourselves rather than God. The illustration should be a tool to get into the Scripture in
order to highlight the thesis.
3. Introduction
Come up with your introduction (concrete, often personal and always attention-grabbing).
4. Pray
Pray for the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in your life and in theirs.
5. Final Checklist
When you have prepared your talk, use these questions as a checklist to ensure that you have
fully developed your message.
•
•
•
•
•
•
What’s my one main point? (Have this memorized.)
What’s the "good news" in this for a high school kid?
Big Deal/So What? (Why should a kid really know this?)
What have I revealed about myself?
What cultural issues have I addressed? (How have I applied the message to their
lives?)
What action have I challenged kids to take?
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•
How do I get kids’ attention and get into my topic? (This is your introduction.)
10 Points on Preparation
From Pat Goodsman in the Leadership 1&2 manual.
1. Win yourself to Christ every day. The Christ you know is the Christ you will share with others. Are
you moved by what you want to share? Matthew 4:19, 22:37-39, Acts 4:19
2. Pray well. Prepare well.
3. Saturate yourself in the passage you will be speaking from. Look up words you don’t understand;
look for one or two points the Lord would have you share. Use the Bible in your talks. Respect what the
Book says.
4. Understand words before you speak about them (sin, redemption, belief, depravity, reconciliation,
etc.). It’s critical to communicate these truths in understandable terms.
5. Keep the following verses in mind: 2 Corinthians 4:5, 1 Corinthians 2:1-5, Romans 1:16, Acts 4:1322, 2 Corinthians 5:14-21.
6. Learn from everyone you ever hear communicate. (You can even learn things not to do.)
7. Know and appreciate your audience. Talk “with” people, and not “at” them. Use names
when/where appropriate. Be intent on your message, not just on your delivery. Don’t work too hard at
being funny. Humor will come as you are yourself.
8. Use illustrations from your own life. As much as possible, utilize stories and questions like Jesus
did. Keep a folder organized by subject matter to draw on when you need material.
9. Use visual illustrations whenever possible. Without trying to be too clever, work with the gifts God
has given you. Pictures have a way of leaving impressions on our minds.
10. Enjoy yourself. Cherish the opportunity the Lord has given you with humility, and have a good
time letting God work through you.
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CLUB TALK WORKSHEET
Basic Structure:
1. Introduction (3 minutes)
2. Transitional Statement
3. Body (8 minutes)
4. Transitional Statement
5. Application/Conclusion (4 minutes)
Bible Text: ____________________ Date: _______ Topic: _____________________
*Prepare your talk in this order:
1. Controlling Thought:
State specifically, in one short sentence, the one thought I want teens to go away with.
2. Conclusion:
Do this part before you do the intro or body. This must be the strongest part of your message. The
questions we ask for developing the conclusion are:
1. So what?
2. What is the application?
3. What are the benefits and liabilities for me of the controlling thought?
4. What am I supposed to do about what has been said?
3. Body:
The meat of the message. Scripture. Discussion. Relate to the controlling thought.
4. Introduction:
Introduce controlling thought. Get their attention; gather interest (using personal experience, story, humor,
shock, suspense). Start where they are—“Meet them where they’re at and take them to the cross” (Dr. John
George, former OCF West Point Director).
5. Application:
What do you wish for them to do with the truth you have just offered them?
6. Transitional Sentences:
There are only four sentences you must memorize:
1. The first sentence of your talk (so you know when you began).
2. The last sentence of your talk (so you know when to stop).
3. The first transition sentence (between the intro and body).
4. The second transition sentence (between the body and conclusion).
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TALK OUTLINES
The Person of Christ
In a 12-week series, these are our "bread and butter." There are usually five talks on "The
Person of Christ." We move into these right away after the "Intro Talk." The goal of these
talks is to help kids fall in love with the person of Jesus. We will attempt to correct some
misconceptions about Him and communicate winsomely the salient facts about His identity,
claims and character.
His Identity: Jesus is 100 percent God and 100 percent human. He’s 200 percent! We need
to communicate both.
Scriptures about His deity:
•
•
•
•
•
John 1:14 -- The word became flesh and dwelt among us (Jesus was God become
man!).
Colossians 1:15 -- He is the visible expression of the invisible God.
Colossians 2:9-10 -- He is the full and complete expression of God in bodily form.
John 10:30 -- I and the Father are one.
Hebrews 1:3 -- He is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His
nature.
Scriptures about His humanity:
•
•
•
Hebrews 2:14-18 -- He partook in flesh and blood and was made like us in all things.
Hebrews 4:15 -- He was tempted in all things as we yet was without sin.
Gospels -- He was born, thirsted, hungered, cried, laughed, loved, grieved, angered,
bled, died, etc.
In Jesus, we see what God is like and how He is inaugurating His kingdom, His reign and His
rule in the hearts and lives of individuals. In Him, we also see what it means to be
authentically human, living life in right relationship with and dependent on the Father.
His Claims: We can gain a more accurate picture of Jesus by considering what He claimed
about Himself as well as what others claimed about Him.
Some Scriptures that speak of His claims:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
John 6:35. I am the bread of life; He who comes to me will never go hungery.
John 9:5 -- I am the light of the world.
John 10:7 -- I am the door of the sheep.
John 10:10 -- I have come that they might have life and have it more abundantly.
John 10:14 -- I am the good shepherd.
John 11:25 -- I am the resurrection and the life.
John 14:6 -- I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father
except through me.
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•
John 15:1-- I am the vine.
His Character: The Gospels speak volumes of His character. By looking at Jesus, we can
see how God thinks and acts — what He values and how He responds to people and
situations.
Just a beginning list could include:
His compassion -- the leper
His forgiveness -- the paralytic
His "personalness" -- the woman with hemorrhage
His power -- the lunatic/walking on water/Lazarus
His focus on God -- retiring to pray
He longs to touch us -- the leper
He’s a friend of sinners -- Zacchaeus
He’s angered by injustice -- cleansing of the temple
He loves sacrificially -- the cross
We want kids to become enamored with Him. "If God exists and He’s like this One, wouldn’t
you want to give up anything and everything just to be with Him? To know Him as your
personal friend? Here's someone you'd be proud to 'hang with' and to base your life upon."
The Problem
In a 12-week series, there are two talks on “The Problem.” These follow the “Intro Talk” and
the five talks on “The Person of Christ.” In the first Problem talk we are trying to help kids
name and come to understand the nature of what’s wrong in our world: Sin. Jim Rayburn felt
that kids don’t need to be convinced they are sinners. Our goal is rather to help kids
understand the nature of sin, see how it’s the opposite of what God intends and recognize
that it explains why our world is the way it is. In the second “Problem Talk” we will help kids
come to grips with sin’s sobering result: death and separation from God.
Nature of Sin: The essential nature of sin is making ourselves (or anything else) out to be
God. The Greek word for sin is “hamartia,” which means to miss the mark (an archery term).
We have clearly missed God’s bull's-eye of worshipping and serving Him at the center of our
lives.
Sin can be restated in a number of ways:
1. Worshipping (putting first) and serving the creature (what God has made) vs. the
Creator (Romans 1:25)
2. Putting anything or anyone else ahead of God (idolatry)
3. Running our own lives without God
4. Being the “quarterback” and calling our own plays
5. Being in the driver's seat
6. Failure to acknowledge God as God
7. Self-centeredness or selfishness
8. s I n — an easy of definition of sin that has a BIG “I” in the middle
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9. Contrasting sin (the disease of self-centeredness) vs. sins (the symptoms of what we
do wrong). This is an important distinction: “sin” is not those things we do wrong
(that’s “sins”).
It is also important to include in the “nature of sin” talk the following:
1.
2.
3.
4.
This disease is “universal” (we’re all infected).
This disease is “lethal” (it is 100 percent fatal).
This disease is “humanly incurable” (there is no way to cure it on our own).
There is no help in “comparing” ourselves to other people
a. “Scales concept” — me vs. Hitler
b. God doesn’t “grade on the curve”
c. Just a few cancer cells are enough for the full-blown disease to emerge
5. The disease does have a cure (we can’t do it, but Someone has — we’ll talk more
about that next week).
Scriptures: Luke 15:11, Romans 1:18-32, Romans 3:23
Illustrations:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Who’s in the driver's seat
Sorcerer’s apprentice
Sin vs. sins
Disease vs. symptoms
Unplugged lamp
Divorce
Runaways
Self-centeredness
Department store price tags
Broken
Results of Sin: The consequence of running our own life (sin) disconnected from the source
of life (God) is death. That death is a reality in five areas:
1. Death spiritually — separation from God for eternity *(this is the most important to
emphasize)
2. Death to the relationship with God that He intended
3. Death to the relationships with one another in the way He intended
4. Death to the proper “dominion haver” relationship with our world
5. Death physically
Sins’ result can be restated in the following ways:
1. When disconnected from the source of power, the light goes out (lamp illustration)
2. Some people could swim farther than others when the Titanic went down — but none
could swim far enough (futility of own efforts)
3. Some can longjump much farther than others — but when it comes to the Grand
Canyon, we’re all dreadfully short (futility of own efforts)
4. A barrier that extends infinitely in all directions
5. Gravity: no one “sends” you falling; it’s the natural consequence of gravity (God
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doesn’t “send” anyone to hell; it’s the natural consequence of saying, “No” to a
relationship with God)
6. Divorce (the end to a relationship and consequent separation due to selfishness)
7. Circle faced inward/outward (loss of connection with God and other people)
8. Besides the “eternal consequences,” we also see sin's results everyday:
a. poverty
b. crime
c. drug abuse/addiction
d. divorce
e. war
f. oppression
g. rampant materialism
h. pollution and ecological destruction
i. suicide
j. abortion
k. racism
Helpful Scripture: Romans 6:23
Illustrations:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Unplugged lamp
Infinite barrier
Grand Canyon
Sinking ship far from shore
Gravity (consequences)
Circle — inward/outward
The Provision
In a 12-week series, there are two talks on “The Provision.” These follow the “Intro Talk,” the
five “Person of Christ Talks" and the two “Problem Talks.” In the two “Provision Talks” we are
trying to communicate three basic things. First, that Jesus’ death on the cross was the proof
of God’s amazing love (Romans 5:8). Second, that Jesus' death on the cross accomplished
an objective goal: removing the barrier that sin creates by Jesus physically bearing our sin in
His body (1 Peter 2:24). Third, that the purpose of Jesus’ death on the cross, simply put, was
to bring us to God (1 Peter 3:18). Our goal is to help kids understand that the possibility now
exists for a relationship with God (where it did not before) and to feel and be moved by the
depth of the love shown by Jesus willingly taking our place on the cross.
The Love of God: The cross is the ultimate love story. The initiative for this love comes from
God (John 3:16). There is no truth in the notion that Jesus is appeasing an angry God by His
death on the cross. The cross was God’s plan from the beginning, and it cost Him dearly.
Can you imagine sacrificing your only son for the kids sitting in club? But this was costly,
sacrificial love — on the Son’s part as well as the Father’s. Jesus went to the cross willingly.
He describes Himself as the “good shepherd” (John10:14-15) who “lays down His life for His
sheep”. He also says (regarding His life), that “No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it
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down on my own initiative” (John 10:18). Jesus knew what costly love was all about. In John
15:13 He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
Jesus, “for the joy set before Him" (which I believe was sinful people like you and me moving
back into a right relationship with His Father) "endured the cross, despising the shame"
(Hebrews 12:2). ” He hated what He had to go through, but He did it. He loved — not
because He felt like it (He certainly didn’t) — not because He knew He’d be loved in return
(He often isn’t) — but because He is love by nature, and He hoped that some might look
upon His loving act and say, “I love you, too!”
Scriptures: John 3:16, John 10:10-18, John 12:32-33, John 15:13, Romans 5:6-8
Illustrations:
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•
•
•
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•
Drawbridge operator
Airline rescue guy
Organ donor
Charles Colson
Bridge over River Kwai
The Lion King
Aslan (stone table)
Destroying the Sin Barrier: Jesus' death was no tragic martyrdom. His death was no
accident. His was a death with a purpose. His secret ambition was to give His life away, and
His death accomplished an objective fact. It removed (shattered, obliterated, eliminated,
destroyed) the infinitely high, deep, wide and thick barrier that sin had created between us
and God (Matthew. 27:51 and Ephesians 2:12-18). Through His death, Jesus literally
absorbed the sin of the world into His body (1 Peter 2:24 and Mark 15:34). He became the
“sin-bearer,” the scapegoat for the world. He who knew no sin literally became sin on our
behalf (2 Corinthians 5:21). By virtue of His taking our sin upon Himself, there is no longer
anything to keep us from God (except ourselves). Access to God is again possible. There is
— for the first time since the fall of Adam and Eve — the possibility of a “right relationship”
with God. With His death, what Jesus came to accomplish was finished (John 19:30).
Helpful Scriptures: Matthew 27, Mark 14:17-15:47, Luke 22:39-23:56, John 18:1-19:42, 2
Corinthians 5:14-15,21, Ephesians 2:12-18, 1 Peter 2:24, 1 Peter 3:18
Illustrations:
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•
•
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•
Sponge or bounty
Removal of barrier
Bridge
Chair turned around
Cure for polio
Participation
In a 12-week series, there are two talks on “Participation.” These follow the Person of Christ,
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Problem and Provision talks. In them, we are trying to communicate one basic thing: that
being a Christian means saying “YES” to a personal relationship with Christ in which He is
Lord. Our goal is to help kids understand:
•
•
that being a Christian is being in a personal relationship with Christ
how to begin that relationship
Relationship Factor: We want kids to see that being a Christian is about knowing God
rather than knowing about God. It is primarily “trusting” Him to be God in our lives (which is
the main meaning of "believe" in the Greek). A personal relationship requires a living person
— and we serve a risen Christ. He is alive and available to be known. Furthermore, He
comes (in the form of His Holy Spirit) to actually live in the hearts of those who open the door
to Him.
Lordship Factor: We need to let kids know that they are not inviting Christ into their lives as
their “personal bellhop” or a “cosmic gopher.” Neither is He “fire insurance for eternity." He
wants to come in to “drive the car.” There is an element of real surrender here — turning over
the “deed of our lives” to the one who loves us, died for us and now wants to live in and
through us.
Supernatural Factor: Being a Christian is not just about giving intellectual assent to certain
“truths.” It is not just about following the “Great Example” (Jesus) — it is about being invaded
by God Himself. He comes to live in us through His Holy Spirit (Ephesians 3:14-19). As our
indwelling Lord, He desires to transform us into His likeness and empower us to live as He
taught and we ought.
Scriptures: Gospel accounts of resurrection, John 1:12, John 3:16, John 5:24, John 17:3,
Ephesians 2:8-9, Ephesians 3:14-19, 1 John 1:1-4, 1 John 5:11-12, Revelation 3:20,
Illustrations:
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•
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•
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Knowing vs. knowing about
Elevator
Tightrope walker (Blondin)
“Are you married?”
Marriage proposal
Glove
Trust fall
Driver’s seat
ABC=Admit, Believe, Commit
Something to be believed/Someone to be received
Final Considerations: It’s helpful to give kids a model of what to say to God to begin this
relationship. Something like, “Lord, forgive me for running my own life without you and all of
my self-centeredness. I thank you for dying on the cross to forgive me for my sin and make a
relationship with you possible, and I invite you to come into my life and be in the driver’s seat
— and to make me into your person. Amen.”
Need
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The God of the universe wants you to be able to draw close to Him as He allows you to feel
your suffering leave you
"Immediately her bleeding stopped, and she felt in her body that she was freed from
her suffering."
-Mark 5:29
Outline:
I work for Young Life, but before I started I was a magician (Toilet Paper Trick). I feel like the
best way to get to know people is to laugh and share something with them. Tell Rindercella
story (see illustrations).
I love that story, but there is one problem with it. It is a distorted version of the original -- it's
not quite right. We can laugh at it, and it sounds funny, but some of it doesn't make sense.
This evening I want to look at an account in Jesus' life that, at first glance, didn't make sense
to me.
Scripture: Mark 5:22-34
Suffering, I have never been subject to bleeding for 12 years, yet I have felt at times what
suffering means. (Testimony) "Parent's divorce, betrayed by friends, felt alone."
I want to invite you to look with me at the possibility of a distorted version of how something
was supposed to be. We can't get a clear view of God if we remain in our suffering.
Where have you looked to be healed? (It says that she went to many doctors, yet only got
worse.) I went to people (my friends), yet I never felt like I could be honest with them (afraid
they'd make fun of me).
She believed, "If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed." (For a long time I refused to
believe this. It was only after someone took the time to care for me that I was able to realize
that God cared.)
She came to Jesus trembling and in fear and told Him the whole truth. (It is scary to be that
vulnerable, to tell someone "your whole story" especially in front of a crowd, yet if anyone
knows the depth of our hearts it's God. He knit us together in our mother's womb.)
Jesus then repeated to her that she had believed in her heart, and she was healed. If she
believed it yet never touched His clothes, none of this would have happened -- but she did.
It is difficult to get close to Jesus with our suffering. Why is it so hard for us to do this? A lot of
times we make the choice to stay in our suffering -- not because it makes us feel good, not
because we like it there, but because it is comfortable.
The God of the universe came to earth for this very reason -- so we could feel in our body
that we could be freed of our suffering.)
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I encourage you to ask yourself a hard question: "Have you ever felt freed from your
suffering?" If the answer is "no," then hear me clearly this morning. God wants you to be
able to draw close to Him as He allows you to feel your suffering leave you.
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ILLUSTRATIONS
Table of Contents
ACCEPTANCE – 149
ADDICTIONS/AFFECTS OF SIN – 150
ADVENTURE – 152
AFFIRMATION – 153
APPEARANCE – 159
ATHEISM – 164
ATONEMENT – 164
CHOICES – 166
CHRISTIAN LIVING – 172
CHRISTIANITY – 173
COMMITMENT – 176
CONFESSION – 184
CONFORMITY – 185
CREATION – 187
DEATH – 189
DISCIPLESHIP – 192
FAILURE – 204
FAITH – 207
FORGIVENESS – 213
GOD – 218
GOD’S LOVE – 226
GRACE – 234
HAPPINESS – 238
HEAVEN – 241
JESUS CHRIST – 242
LIFE – 253
LIGHT/DARKNESS – 255
LOVE – 257
PURPOSE/MEANING – 264
PRAYER – 266
REPENTANCE – 269
SACRIFICE – 270
SALVATION – 272
SEX & DATING – 290
SIN – 294
THE CROSS – 305
TRUSTING GOD – 309
TRUTH -- 311
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ACCEPTANCE
Coming Home
A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from
San Francisco.
“Mom and Dad, I’m coming home, but I’ve a favor to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring home with me.”
“Sure,” they replied. “We’d love to meet him.”
“There’s something you should know,” the son continued. “He was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a
land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.”
“No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us.”
“Son,” said the father, “you don’t know what you’re asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden
to us. We have our own lives to live, and we can’t let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should
just come on home and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way to live on his own.”
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they
received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son died after falling from a building, they were told. The police
believed it was suicide.
The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son.
They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know—their son had only one arm
and one leg.
Where to Take It from Here...
The parents in this story are not unlike many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have
around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away
from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.
Thankfully, God doesn’t treat us that way. God loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into his forever
family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Because of his great love for us, we are to reach out to others in the same way.
The Puppy Nobody Wanted
The sign on the door said “Puppies for sale” and so the little boy went inside to look. The man inside the
pet shop showed him five little puppies that were ready now to leave their mother. They were about the
cutest dogs the little boy had ever seen.
“How much are they?” the little boy asked.
The man replied, “Some are fifty dollars, some are more.”
The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. After counting it, he said, “I have a
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dollar and forty-seven cents.”
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t sell you one of these puppies for a dollar and forty-seven cents, little boy. You’ll
have to save your money and come back next time we have more puppies for sale.”
About that time, the pet store owner’s wife brought out another puppy that had been hidden in the back of
the store. It was smaller than the other puppies, and had a bad leg. It couldn’t stand up very well, and
when it tried to walk, it limped very badly.
“What’s wrong with that puppy?” asked the little boy. The pet store owner explained that the veterinarian
had examined the puppy and had discovered it didn’t have a hip socket. It would always limp and always
be lame.
“Oh, I wish I had the money to buy that puppy!” exclaimed the little boy with excitement. “That’s the
puppy I would choose!”
“Well, that puppy is not for sale, son. But if you really want him, I’ll just give him to you. No charge.”
But the little boy got quite upset at this. He looked straight at the pet store owner and said, “No, I don’t
want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as the other dogs you have for sale.
I’ll give you a dollar and forty-seven cents now, and I’ll give you fifty cents a month until I have paid for
this dog in full.”
The pet store owner was perplexed. “You don’t really want to spend your money on this little dog, son.
He is never going to be able to run and play with you like the other puppies.”
Then the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg,
supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the pet store owner and said, “Mister, I don’t run and play
too good myself. I figure this little puppy is going to need someone like me who understands.”
Scripture says that you were “bought with a price.” Jesus paid a very high price for you when he went to
the cross. He did it because he loves you and wants you to be with him. And he understands what you are
going through. As it says in the book of Isaiah, he was the “Suffering Servant” who “bore our iniquities.”
He took all of the pain we deserve upon himself.
You may feel like an outcast, a nobody. You may think nobody likes you, that nobody wants you. You
may be suffering, going through difficult times. Through all of that, you can be sure that Jesus
understands. He knows exactly how you feel.
ADDICTIONS/AFFECTS OF SIN
I Can Quit
Burt Hunter, a newspaper reporter and photographer in Long Beach, California, found himself on a strange mission one
foggy morning. He was scheduled to interview and take pictures of a woman snake charmer.
When Burt visited the woman’s home, he was surprised to find that she lived in a very nice, upper-class neighborhood. The
woman herself didn’t look someone who played with snakes. Burt couldn’t help mentioning that fact to her.
“I don’t understand why a wealthy, attractive woman such as yourself is engaged in this kind of business,” he said. “It
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seems awfully dangerous to me.”
The woman smiled and said, “Oh, I don’t do it because I have to. It’s a fascinating hobby. I really like the element of
danger involved. Someday soon I plan to give it up and spend more time with my flowers. I can quit this any time I want
to.”
While Burt set up his equipment, the woman brought in baskets containing cobras. She confidently lifted some of the
deadly snakes as he snapped pictures of her handling them.
After replacing the snakes in their baskets, she cautioned, “Be especially quiet now and don’t make any quick moves. I’m
going to take out my newest snake. It isn’t completely used to me yet.”
The woman lifted the new snake out of its basket, then suddenly stiffened. “Something’s wrong,” she whispered to the
photographer. “I’m going to have to put him back.” She opened the basket slowly and began to lower the snake into it.
With a lightning-fast jab, the cobra buried its fangs into the woman’s wrist. The woman forced the snake into the basket
and clutched her arm.
She spoke calmly to Burt, “Go quickly to my medicine chest and bring the snake serum. Hurry!” Trembling, Burt ran to the
restroom and returned with the precious vial.
The woman instructed him to take out the syringe and fit the needle on. Then she told him how to withdraw the serum. Burt
struggled with the unfamiliar task, his hands shaking badly. He braced his arm against the table as he tried desperately to
get the needle into the vial. Suddenly he gasped. His clumsy fingers had crushed the tiny bottle. The serum, now useless,
dripped through his fingers and onto the floor.
“Tell me,” he urged. “Where can I get another?”
In a quiet voice she responded, “That was my last one.”
The woman’s agony ended when she died a few hours later. Burt’s, however, continued for the rest of his life. He often
recalled what the woman had said that day: “I can quit this anytime I want to.”
We all know people who are involved in behaviors that are just as dangerous as playing with poisonous snakes—people
who say, “I can quit this any time I want to.” But for some reason, they never do...until it’s too late.
Satan is sometimes referred to in Scripture as a deadly snake. He first appeared in the Garden of Eden and persuaded Adam
and Eve to commit the very first sins. And he didn’t stop there. He still tempts us with sin, leading us to believe that it
won’t hurt us—that we can quit whenever we want.
But sin is very addictive. You may think you can let it go, but it won’t let go of you. It may offer a thrill, a bit of
excitement, or a momentary high, but it always leads to heartbreak and death (see Romans 6:23).
Are you playing around with sin? Give your life to Jesus, and let him change it. Only he can set you free from sin. Please
do it now, because there will come a time when not even the serum of the Gospel can save you (see John 12:40). Your best
opportunity to find freedom from the consequences of sin may be slipping through your fingers right now.
A Little Problem
One day a little boy named Julian fell down while chasing butterflies in a field of tall grass. Soon afterward, the
boy’s left eye started hurting, so he was taken to a doctor. The doctor couldn’t find the source of the irritation, so he
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just gave the boy some ointment and sent him home.
Eventually Julian’s eye problem went away. About a year later, though, the boy started complaining of cloudy vision.
His parents took him to an eye specialist, who was stunned by what he discovered.
Apparently when Julian had fallen a year earlier, a tiny grass seed had implanted itself in his cornea. Slowly the seed
had grown and had actually sprouted two little leaves in Julian’s eye. The seed had to be removed immediately in
order to save the boy’s vision.
Sometimes when we fall into sin, we tell ourselves things like,
“That didn’t hurt.”
But sin has a way of implanting itself into our hearts and growing into something that can do permanent damage to
our souls. Sin can blur our vision and cause us to take our eyes off Christ. Satan wouldn’t have it any other way.
Have you allowed sin to take root in your life? Is your vision blurred? Unless the root of sin is surgically removed, it
will destroy you and your relationship with God. The removal can’t be done with ointment. Only Jesus can get rid of
your sin. That’s why he went to the cross.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1
John 1:9).
ADVENTURE
Big Adventures
Outside magazine often features stories about people who risk their lives in order to establish a reputation for
themselves.
Larry Walters, for instance, took flight in a lawn chair suspended by forty-two large helium-filled balloons. Upon
reaching an altitude of 16,000 feet, he began popping the balloons with a pellet gun, descending to the ground safely.
Frenchman Jean Luc Antoni skis down rocks. In 1987 he set a world record of sixty-one miles per hour riding a monoski down a rocky slope in France. Because braking is impossible, the resourceful Antoni erected a cardboard retaining
wall at the bottom of the run and smashed into it. He survived.
Reg Mellor, age seventy-two, is the reigning world champion of “ferret legging.” Ferret legging is a contest involving
“the tying of a competitor’s trousers at the ankles and the subsequent insertion into those trousers of a couple of
particularly vicious, fur-coated, foot-long carnivores called ferrets. The brave contestant’s belt is then pulled tight, and
he proceeds to stand in front of the judges as long as he can, while these animals with claws like hypodermic needles
and teeth like number sixteen carpet tacks try to get out.”
Reg Mellor holds the world record at five hours, twenty-six minutes.
Activities like these seem crazy, but lots of kids today, in their quest for adventure, engage in crazy behaviors—
abusing drugs and alcohol, for instance—that make ferret legging seem sane by comparison. Reg Mellor’s legs are
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permanently scarred by years of ferret legging, but his scars are mild compared to the internal scars left on kids who
use drugs.
If you have ever seen an addict going through drug withdrawal, you have seen the ferrets tearing at his insides. If you
have ever seen someone whose brain has been “fried” on drugs, then you have seen someone whose brain has been
attacked by ferrets.
Don’t get me wrong, though. Risk and adventure comprise an important element of life. In fact, people who follow
Jesus Christ undertake the greatest and riskiest adventure of all.
AFFIRMATION
Love and the Cabbie
Columnist Art Buchwald tells the story of a day when he was riding in a cab in New York City with a friend.
When they got out of the cab, the friend said to the driver, “Thank you for the ride. You did a superb job of
driving this cab!”
The taxi driver seemed stunned for a second and said, “Are you a wise guy or something?”
“No,” said the man, “I’m serious. I admire the way you keep cool in heavy traffic. Not many cab drivers are able
to do that. I’m glad I rode in your cab today!”
“Yeah, sure,” said the cab driver and he drove off.
Buchwald asked his friend, “What was that all about?”
“I am trying to bring love back to New York City,” said the man. “I believe it’s the only thing that can save the
city.”
“You think one man can save New York City?”
“It’s not one man,” said the man. “I believe I have made that taxi driver’s day. Suppose he has twenty fares. He’s
going to be nice to those twenty fares because someone was nice to him. Those fares will in turn be kinder to
their employees, shopkeepers or waiters, or even their own families. Eventually, the goodwill could spread to at
least a thousand people. Now that isn’t bad, is it?”
“But you are depending on that taxi driver to pass your goodwill on to others.”
“Maybe he won’t,” said the man. “But I might say something nice to ten different people today. If, out of ten, I
can make three happy, then I can indirectly influence the attitudes of three thousand or more.”
“You’re some kind of a nut,” said Buchwald to his friend.
“That shows how cynical you’ve become,” said the man. “Take postal workers, for instance. The reason so many
of them hate their work is because no one is telling them that they are doing a good job.”
“But they aren’t doing a good job.”
“They’re not doing a good job because they don’t believe anyone cares if they do or not,” replied the man.
Buchwald and his friend continued walking down the street and noticed five workmen eating their lunch. The
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friend stopped and said, “That’s a magnificent job you men have done. It must be difficult and dangerous work.”
The workmen looked at Buchwald’s friend suspiciously.
“When will this job be finished?” the friend asked.
“June,” growled one of the workmen.
“Ah, that is really impressive. You must all be very proud of what you are doing here!”
As they walked away, Buchwald said, “I still don’t think you are doing any good.”
“On the contrary,” said the man, “when those workmen digest my words, they’ll feel better about what they are
doing and somehow the city will benefit.”
“But you can’t do this alone,” said Buchwald. “You’re just one man.”
“But I’m not discouraged,” he said. “I’m hoping to enlist others in my campaign.”
They continued walking down the street.
“You just smiled at a very plain-looking woman,” Buchwald said to his friend.
“Yes, I know,” the man replied. “And if she’s a schoolteacher, her class is going to be in for a fantastic day.”
Most of us don’t realize the impact that we can have on the world by sharing God’s love one person at a time.
When we do, we can set off a chain reaction that will reap huge dividends for the kingdom of God. You can
make a big difference in the world with seemingly insignificant acts of kindness. Just as Jesus took a few loaves
and fishes beside the sea of Galilee and fed thousands of people (Matthew chapters 14 and 15), God is able to
take the small things we do for him and perform miracles in other people’s lives. Try it and see what happens!
Love at First Sight
Henry was 73 years old when he moved into the rest home. Since the death of his wife two years earlier, Henry had
been extremely lonely. He needed some company, someone to talk to.
After unpacking his belongings, Henry walked to the activities room, where many of the other residents were
gathered. Everyone in the room was either talking, reading, playing cards, or watching television. Suddenly Henry
felt nervous about trying to make new friends at his age. He wasn’t sure he had made the right decision.
As he stood in the doorway surveying the room, Henry was startled by a gentle tap on the shoulder. He turned to
find a small woman staring up at him. Even though she must have been 85 years old, she had a kind face and was
attractive. She said nothing but continued to stare at Henry.
Finally, Henry said, “Good day, madam. My name is Henry.”
With a sparkle in her eye, the elderly woman said, “Henry, you look just like my fourth husband.”
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“I do?” Henry asked. “Tell me, how many husbands have you had?”
Smiling broadly, the woman replied, “Three.”
Needless to say, the woman made Henry’s day. No matter how old you are, it still feels good to be wanted. Maybe
you can give someone the gift of affirmation today. All kinds of lonely people need a tap on the shoulder and a
reassuring smile.
Mark Twain once said, “I can live two weeks on one good compliment.” Affirmation is a powerful act of grace that
spreads God’s love and leads to life. Let’s build each other up and look for people around us every day who need a
little encouragement and kindness (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
The Milkman’s Gift
When Cheryl Prewitt was four years old, she hung around her father’s small country grocery store. Almost daily,
the milkman would come into the store and greet her with the words, “How’s my little Miss America?” At first
she giggled, but eventually she became comfortable with it…and even liked it a little. Soon the milkman’s
greeting became a childhood fantasy…then a teenage dream. Finally, it became a goal…and in 1980, she stood on
a stage in Atlantic City and was crowned…Miss America.
The milkman probably never realized that his greeting to little Cheryl Prewitt would be taken seriously and one
day become a reality.
In the same way, you may not realize that your words have power to influence people in a positive or a negative
way. If we say encouraging things to other people, they will be more likely to live up to those words of
encouragement. But if you cut someone down and say discouraging things, it may lead them to despair and
negative behaviors.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,” wrote Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:11. If you do, you
will be giving someone a wonderful gift.
Teddy and Miss Thompson
Miss Thompson was a schoolteacher who every year would say to her students, “Boys and girls, I love you
all the same. I have no favorites.” Of course, she wasn’t being completely truthful. Teachers do have
favorites and, what’s worse, most teachers have students that they simply don’t like.
Teddy Stallard was a boy that Miss Thompson simply didn’t like, and for good reason. He didn’t seem
interested in school. He wore a deadpan, blank expression on his face, and his eyes were glassy and
unfocused. When she spoke to Teddy, he merely shrugged his shoulders. His clothes were mussed and his
hair unkept. He wasn’t an attractive boy, and he certainly wasn’t likable.
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Whenever she marked Teddy’s papers, she got a certain perverse pleasure out of putting X’s next to the
wrong answers. When she put the F’s at the top of the papers, she did it with a flair. She should have
known better; she had Teddy’s records, and she knew more about him than she wanted to admit. The
records read:
1st Grade: Teddy shows promise with his work and attitude, but poor home situation.
2nd Grade: Teddy could do better. Mother is seriously ill. He receives little help at
home.
3rd Grade: Teddy is a good boy, but too serious. He is a slow learner. His mother
died this year.
4th Grade: Teddy is very slow, but well behaved. His father shows no interest.
At Christmas, the boys and girls in Miss Thompson’s class brought her presents, piled them on her desk,
and crowded around to watch her open them. Among the presents was one from Teddy Stallard. She was
surprised that he had brought her a gift. Teddy’s gift was wrapped in brown paper and held together with
Scotch tape. On the paper were written the simple words, “For Miss Thompson. From Teddy.” When she
opened Teddy’s present, out fell a gaudy rhinestone bracelet, with half the stones missing, and a bottle of
cheap perfume.
The other boys and girls began to giggle and smirk over Teddy’s gifts, but Miss Thompson at least had
enough sense to silence them by immediately putting on the bracelet and dotting some of the perfume on
her wrist. Holding her wrist up for the other children to smell, she said, “Doesn’t it smell lovely?” The
other children, taking their cue from the teacher, readily agreed with “oohs” and “ahs.”
When school was over and the other children had left, Teddy lingered behind. He slowly came over to her
desk and said softly, “Miss Thompson? Miss Thompson, you smell just like my mother…and her bracelet
looks real pretty on you too. I’m glad you liked my presents.”
When Teddy left, Miss Thompson got down on her knees and asked God to forgive her.
The next day when the children came to school, they were welcomed by a new teacher. Miss Thompson
had become a different person. She was no longer just a teacher; she had become an agent of God,
committed to loving her children and doing things for them that would live on after her. She helped all the
children, but especially the slow ones, and especially Teddy Stallard. By the end of that school year,
Teddy showed dramatic improvement. He caught up with most of the students and was even ahead of
some.
Once the school year ended, Miss Thompson didn’t hear from Teddy for a long time.
Then one day she received a note that read:
Dear Miss Thompson,
I wanted you to be the first to know. I will be graduating second in my class.
Love, Teddy Stallard
Four years later, another note came:
Dear Miss Thompson,
They just told me I will be graduating first in my class. I wanted you to be the first
to know. The university has not been easy, but I have had a good four years.
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And, four years later:
Dear Miss Thompson,
As of today, I am Theodore Stallard, M.D. How about that? I wanted you to be the
first to know. I am getting married next month, the twenty-seventh to be exact. I
want you to come and sit where my mother would sit if she were alive. You are the
only family I have now. Dad died last year.
Miss Thompson went to that wedding and sat where Teddy’s mother would have sat. She deserved to be
there; she had done something for Teddy that he could never forget.
We can also become agents of God as we reach out to help those who are rejected by others, or those who
have great needs that we become aware of. That is what Christ in Matthew 25:31-46 teaches us that we
should do. Whenever we help someone like Teddy, we are helping Jesus himself.
Miss Thompson was a lot like Barnabas, who was an encourager. (See Acts 11:23-24.) Many people
around us need someone to believe in them and build them up rather than tear them down. When we see
someone who is different from us or handicapped or lonely, we can tease them and put them down—or we
can do what Barnabas and Jesus would do: show kindness, love, and encouragement.
Twenty Dollars Short
Just a few days before Christmas, a postal worker at the main sorting office found an unstamped, handwritten,
messy envelope addressed to God. Curious, he opened it and discovered that it was from an elderly woman who
was in great distress because all of her savings—$200—had been stolen. As a result, she wouldn’t have anything
to eat for Christmas.
The man went to his fellow postal workers and took up a collection for the woman. They all dug deep and came
up with $180. Putting the money in a plain envelope, with no note or anything, the postal workers sent it by
special courier to the woman that very day.
A week later, the same postal worker noticed another unstamped letter that had been addressed to God in the
same handwriting. In it, he found a brief note:
Dear God,
Thank you for the $180 that you sent me for Christmas, which would have been so bleak
otherwise.
P.S. It was $20 short, but that was probably those thieving workers at the post office.
Have you ever been criticized for trying to do the right thing? Have you ever been blamed for something you
didn’t do? Kind of makes you want to give up, doesn’t it? After all, why knock yourself out when all you get is a
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slap in the face?
The feeling is understandable. That’s why we should be affirming to each other and encourage each other in the
church. When you see someone doing the best they can, let them know that you appreciate their effort. Don’t
blame them or get on their case for what they weren’t able to do. Don’t just notice that they were $20 short.
On the other hand, if you are the one expecting to get affirmation and praise...don’t hold your breath. Instead,
take comfort in the fact that you are in good company. “If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is
commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example,
that you should follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:20-21).
You will get a lot of criticism, and it will hurt. But remember: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at
the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).
The Village of Worth
Once upon a time, in a land called Importance was a place called the Village of Worth. The Village of Worth
was a splendid place to live, a place where peace and purpose abounded. In the Village of Worth each person
played a very important role. For this reason, everyone loved living there. You see, each citizen was deeply
respected and honored by every other villager.
As the children grew, parents were exceedingly careful to prepare them for life in the village. Children were all
told the same true story of how the Great Life Giver had given them to their families and to the village as
precious gifts. They were told why the village was called the Village of Worth and why the land was named
Importance. The children all felt special and unique—because they were.
As soon as children could understand, they were each told that they had value and were entrusted with an
incredible and important talent. Every mother and father took an entire day off from work each week during the
year a child turned seven to visit the businesses of the village. These weekly field trips were part of every child’s
schooling.
Each owner and worker greeted the visiting families with kindness and respect. The children were told how very
important each person was in the life of the village and the businesses. By the time each visit was finished,
children believed with total confidence that that business and those people were surely the most important in the
village. Mothers and fathers would agree—they indeed were the most important.
Month after month, visit after visit, children would leave the small businesses scratching their tiny heads in
bewilderment convinced that the people just visited were most important. Whether baker or doctor or blacksmith
or carpenter or mason—every child was amazed at each person’s significance and pondered everyone’s worth.
Children would often ask, “How can everyone be most important?” In response, wise mothers would say, “Oh
honey, that’s one of the mysteries of the Great Life Giver.” Children wondered at how amazing the Great Life
Giver was to bless their village with such wonderful people and talents. Parents encouraged their children to
wonder about who the Great Life Giver had created them to be.
Now the Village of Worth was a wonderful place for children as long as they didn’t do either of two great evils.
Parents warned kids that these two evils saddened the Great Life Giver’s heart more than anything else. All
parents kept a vigilant eye out for the presence of either evil, and you can be sure, they were quick to correct any
child who ventured near either one.
The first great evil was to be lazy. Everyone believed laziness was a grand offense to the gift of life. The village
only worked when its people did. The second evil was belittlement. Offending the uniqueness of another villager
was dealt with swiftly. No one dared to minimize any other villager less they face dire consequences. As a result
diligence and appreciation were held in high esteem in the Village of Worth.
The mayor of the village joyfully and carefully protected and served his people. He spent the first half of every
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day in the streets with his people going from business to business and home to home, reminding each person of
their value and inspiring them to live in a way that honored the Great Life Giver.
Once in a great while, real trouble came to the village. Trouble always came from the south, and when it came,
you could be sure some trader from the Land of Insecure had snuck across the border into the village.
Traders would attempt to incite envy and boasting in the hearts of the people of the Village of Worth. They
would say to the baker, “Are you content being a baker? You should be a lawyer! You are much smarter than
what it takes to be a baker.” Then they would say to the blacksmith, “Is this all you own—this little shop and
that little house? Look at how big the doctor’s house is. You should live there!” Then the doctor would get an
ear full, “It’s good for you to own a bigger house my dear lady, for you, after all, are better and more educated
than the others.”
This trader from the Land of Insecure would use every evil trick in the book to disrupt the peace in the Village
of Worth. The plain truth was the traders from the Land of Insecure were jealous of the wonderful life in the
Village of Worth, and since the traders were miserable and had little hope, they felt they should make everyone
else that way too.
Fortunately, the people in the Village of Worth rarely fell for a trader’s lies. When a trader was detected, the
mayor would not sleep until he caught the scoundrel and personally escorted him or her to the southern border.
Being a loving and compassionate man, the mayor would use the long walk to the border to explain why life in
the Village of Worth existed as it did. He reminded the trader how the Great Life Giver had given him
responsibility to protect his village. The mayor would tell the trader that he loved the children in the Village of
Worth far too much to ever allow a trader to have his or her way.
As they approached the border, the mayor would always point out the trader’s only hope: washing in the Pool of
Admittance. That was a horrid thought to any trader—to admit not being more important than others. Oh, that
disturbed traders to the bones, for their entire village was built on the faulty foundation of being better and
having more. Traders rarely washed; consequently, they lived chronically restless lives.
Upon releasing the prisoner to the border guard, the mayor would return to his blessed Village of Worth. On his
walk back to the village, a deep joy would well up in his soul, and a song would come from his lips in praise to
the Great Life Giver for allowing him to have a small part in the life of the Village of Worth.
Advertising reminds us over and over that “you’re not good enough, but you could be if you’d just buy…” In
school we’re taught how to secure the most prestigious occupations. In social situations, we often find ourselves
comparing ourselves with one another, trying to climb to the top of the social heap. This is not the way God
intended life to be. We each have value just as we are (Psalm 139:14). And each of us has been given gifts and a
special purpose so that the Body of Christ will function properly (1 Corinthians 12).
APPEARANCE
The Blind Date
(A joke for guys to tell—in the first person, as if it happened to you.)
Since I was a little shy when I was in high school, I didn’t ask many girls out on dates. So my friend came up to me
one day and said, “Hey, I’ve lined you up with a great date for Saturday night. It’s all set.”
“Who is it?” I asked. It turned out to be his cousin Doris. I had never met her. In fact, I had never met any girl named
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Doris. “Oh, no,” I said, “I’m not going on a blind date.”
“Hey, don’t worry about this one,” my friend said. “Doris is a terrific girl. And trust me—she’s a real looker. But if
you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you how to get out of the date if you don’t like the way she looks. This is what I do: I go
to a girl’s front door to pick her up, and when she opens the door, I check her out. If I like what I see, then great, we’re
all set. But if she’s ugly, I fake an asthma attack. I go ‘Aaahhhhgggggg!’ (Hold your throat like you’re having trouble
breathing.) The girl asks, ‘What’s wrong?’ And I say, ‘It’s my asthma.’ And so we have to call off the date. Just like
that. No problem.”
“Well, I don’t know...but okay, it sounds easy enough. I’ll do it,” I said.
So I went to pick up Doris. I knocked on the door, and she came to the front door. I took a look at her, and to my
surprise, my friend was right. She was beautiful! I stood there not knowing exactly what to say.
She took one look at me and went, “Aaahhhhgggggg!”
Chances are you’ve also been rejected by other kids because you weren’t good looking enough, or athletic enough, or
rich enough, or “cool” enough—whatever that is.
God doesn’t look at us that way, though. When he takes a look at us, he thinks we’re beautiful. He accepts us the way
we are. God isn’t concerned with how we look on the outside. He’s much more concerned about what’s inside: “Man
looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7b). God wants us to have a heart like
his—one that reaches out and loves all people, regardless of their looks.
The Great Dane and the Alligator
There was a man who owned a Great Dane. Now this Great Dane was an extremely large and
ferocious dog—definitely not the kind of dog you want jumping up in your lap. One day, as the man
was walking his Great Dane down the street, he saw another man across the street who was also
walking his dog—a little bitty dog with short legs no tail and no hair. It was an ugly dog and, very
frankly, looked sick.
Suddenly the Great Dane saw the little ugly dog across the street and decided he hated that dog. He
broke free from his owner’s leash and dashed across the street on the attack. The owner of the Great
Dane yelled to the man, “Look out! My dog is on the loose and he’s liable to kill you and that dog of
yours! You had better run!”
But the little ugly dog turned around, bared its teeth, and when the Great Dane attacked, that little
dog proceeded to grab hold of the Great Dane at the foreleg and began to eat that big dog up. It ate
right up the leg, right up the throat, ate its head, right down through its body, right across the tail,
right down the back legs, spit out the bones, and smacked its lips-and that was the end of the Great
Dane, just like that.
Well, the owner of the Great Dane was absolutely astonished by what he had just witnessed. “Man,
what kind of dog is that?” the man exclaimed. “I’ve never in my life seen a little dog that could do
something like that!”
“Dog? Dog?” the other man said. “Before he got his nose run over by a truck and his tail cut off by a
train, this used to be an alligator!”
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Appearances can be deceiving. Sometimes we judge people by how they look, but we fail to realize
that on the inside, they are quite different. “Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at
the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
You may feel like a puppy dog on the outside, but inside, you’re an alligator. You have the power of
God at your disposal to do mighty things. “I can do everything through him who gives me strength,”
wrote Paul (Philippians 4:13). When you are under attack by the Great Danes of the world, you can
eat ’em up with the power of Christ that lives and dwells within your heart.
Lost Dog—$50 Reward
The following notice was spotted in the lost and found section of the newspaper:
LOST DOG—$50 REWARD Black and tan dog of poodle and German shepherd descent. Flea-bitten, left
hind leg missing, no hair on rump, blind, and recently neutered. Answers to the name of “Lucky.”
Some of us are a lot like Lucky. Of mixed ancestry, not much to look at, and in pretty bad shape, we still
answer to the name of Lucky. We are indeed fortunate, for like the dog, we have someone who cares enough
about us to look for us, to pursue us, to desire us, to pay to get us back. And God did pay to get us back—it
cost him the life of his only Son. That dog is lucky, and so are we—lucky that our Master would love us so
much.
The New Gorilla
A man was looking for a job and he noticed that there was an opening at the local zoo. He inquired about the job and
discovered that the zoo had a very unusual position that they wanted to fill. Apparently their gorilla had died, and
until they could get a new one, they needed someone to dress up in a gorilla suit and act like a gorilla for a few days.
He was to just sit, eat and sleep. His identity would be kept a secret, of course. Thanks to a very fine gorilla suit, no
one would be the wiser.
The zoo offered good pay for this job, so the man decided to do it. He tried on the suit and sure enough, he looked
just like a gorilla. They led him to the cage; he took a position at the back of the cage and pretended to sleep. But
after a while, he got tired of sitting, so he walked around a little bit, jumped up and down and tried a few gorilla
noises. The people who were watching him seemed to really like that. When he would move or jump around, they
would clap and cheer and throw him peanuts. And the man loved peanuts. So he jumped around some more and tried
climbing a tree. That seemed to really get the crowd excited. They threw more peanuts. Playing to the crowd, he
grabbed a vine and swung from one side of the cage to the other. The people loved it and threw more peanuts. Wow,
this is great, he thought. He swung higher and the crowd grew bigger. He continued to swing on the vine, getting
higher and higher—and then all of a sudden, the vine broke! He swung up and out of the cage, landing in the lion’s
cage that was next door.
He panicked. There was a huge lion not twenty feet away, and it looked very hungry. So the man in the gorilla suit
started jumping up and down, screaming and yelling, “Help, help! Get me out of here! I’m not really a gorilla! I’m a
man in a gorilla suit! Heeelllp!”
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The lion quickly pounced on the man, held him down and said, “Will you SHUT UP! You’re going to get both of us
fired!”
Sooner or later we all get found out. Sooner or later we all blow our cover. It is only a matter of time before who we
are and what we really are becomes obvious to everyone. Any attempt to conceal our true nature will eventually be
futile. In some stressful, off-guarded moment, who and what we are will surface. There is no point in pretending.
Who we are and what we are, says the Bible, will sooner or later be declared from the rooftops.
Oliver
Chris deVinck had a brother named Oliver who was severely handicapped, blind, and bedridden. No one was sure whether
Oliver was aware of the world around him, although he did eat when he was fed. Though he lived to be over 30, feeding him
was like feeding an eight-month-old child. He required 24-hour care, which his mother gave him until the day he died. Chris
remembers...
When I was in my early 20s, I met a girl, and I fell in love. After a few months I brought her home for dinner to meet my
family. After the introductions and some small talk, my mother went to the kitchen to check the meal, and I asked the girl,
“Would you like to see Oliver?” for I had, of course, told her about my brother.
“No,” she answered. She did not want to see him. It was as if she slapped me in the face. In response I mumbled something
polite and walked to the dining room.
Soon after, I met Roe, Rosemary—a dark-haired, dark-eyed, lovely girl. She asked me the names of my brothers and sisters.
She bought me a copy of The Little Prince. She loved children. I thought she was wonderful. I brought her home after a few
months to meet my family. The introductions. The small talk. We ate dinner; then it was time for me to feed Oliver. I walked
into the kitchen, reached for the red bowl and the egg, cereal, milk, and banana and prepared Oliver’s meal.
Then, I remember, I sheepishly asked Roe if she’d like to come upstairs and see Oliver.
“Sure,” she said, and up the stairs we went. I sat on Oliver’s bed as Roe stood and watched over my shoulder. I gave him his
first spoonful, then his second.
“Can I do that?” she asked with ease, with freedom, with compassion. So I gave her the bowl, and she fed Oliver one spoonful
at a time.
Which girl would you marry?
Today Roe and I have three children.
(From The Power of the Powerless by Christopher de Vinck. Copyright © 1998, 1996 by Christopher de Vinck. Used by
permission of Zondervan Publishing House.)
There’s a lot of truth in the old saying, “A person who is nice to you, but not nice to others, is not a nice person.”
That’s one of the reasons that Jesus pointed to the outcasts of the world—those who were handicapped, those who were poor,
those who were in prison, those who were considered “the least”—and said, in effect, “Those people are just like me. If you
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love me, then you will also love them.” (See Matthew 25:31-46.)
Anyone can love the healthy, the successful, and the glamorous. There’s little nobility or courage in that. But God calls us to a
higher standard—to love the world just as he does. “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1
Samuel 16:7).
The Scar Study
A scientific researcher gathered ten volunteers for a special psychological study called the Scar Experiment.
Separating the volunteers into ten different cubicles without mirrors, she explained that the purpose of the study was to
examine how other people would respond to a stranger with a physical deformity, such as a facial scar.
Using make-up tricks straight out of Hollywood, the scientist put bloody and gruesome scars on each volunteer’s left
cheek. She showed each volunteer the new “scar” with a small hand-held mirror and then put the mirror away.
The researcher’s final step in each cubicle was to tell each volunteer that she needed to put some finishing powder on
his or her scar to prevent it from smearing. In reality, she used a tissue to wipe off the scar. The volunteers, however,
believed they still had scars on their faces. Each volunteer was then sent out into the waiting rooms of different
medical offices with instructions to notice how strangers in the office responded to the scar.
After the appointed time, all ten volunteers returned with the same report. They noticed that strangers were more rude
to them, less kind to them, and stared at their “scar.”
Preoccupied with our personal flaws (physical or otherwise), we often assume that other people consider our flaws as
repulsive as we do. In reality, most people hardly notice the things we thing are wrong with us. Because our flaws
consume us, we may act toward others as if they disapproved of us. That makes it hard to form friendships.
On the other hand, having a healthy self-image or taking a positive view of ourselves, frees us to enjoy healthier
relationships.
Ultimately, of course, a healthy self-image comes from knowing that God thinks highly of you. He created you and
loves you as his child. When you take time to listen to God’s voice telling you who you really are, you will be less
likely to worry about what others think of you.
You, Too, Can Be Beautiful
Actress Michelle Pfeiffer appeared on the cover of a magazine with the caption “What Michele Pfeiffer
Needs Is…Absolutely Nothing!”
It was later discovered by a reporter, however, that Michelle Pfeiffer did need something after all. She
needed over $1,500 worth of touch-up work on that cover photo. From the touch-up artist’s bill, here is a
partial list of things that were done to make Michelle Pfeiffer look beautiful:
Clean up complexion, soften eye lines, soften smile line, add color to lips, trim chin, remove neck lines,
soften line under earlobe, add highlights to earrings, add blush to cheek, clean up neckline, remove stray
hair, remove hair strands on dress, adjust color and add hair on top of head, add dress on side to create
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better line, add forehead, add dress on shoulder, soften neck muscle a bit, clean up and smooth dress folds
under arm, and create one seam on image on right side.
Total price: $1,525.00
Anybody can be beautiful with a $1,500 touch-up job! We need to be careful that we don’t compare
ourselves unfavorably with media stars and people who appear to be perfect and to have it all together.
Those people are just like you and me—they have a deep longing inside for love and meaning. Many of
them believe that they can find love and meaning by being famous or glamorous. Don’t believe the lie.
“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7b).
ATHEISM
What Chair?
Several years ago at a prestigious university, a philosophy professor gave his students a one-question final exam. He
picked up a chair, placed it on top of his desk, and wrote on the board, “Using what you have learned in class this
semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Most of the students dug deep and wrote like crazy for the entire hour. Some of them churned out more than 30 pages of
heady philosophical debate and logic.
One student, though, handed in his paper after less than a minute. As it turned out, he was the only one in the class who
got an “A” on the test.
His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
Most atheists who believe they can disprove the existence of God using their philosophical and reasoning skills often
unwittingly end up acknowledging his existence. God has made himself known in his creation and revealed himself in the
lives of his people, leaving the atheist with the formidable task of trying to disprove the obvious.
The story is told of an atheist who said to a believer, “I don’t believe God exists.” The believer thought for a minute and
said, “Well, I don’t think God believes you exist, either.” The atheist blurted out, “What do you mean! He has to believe I
exist because he created me!”
ATONEMENT
“Lambing” in New Zealand
The beautiful, green hills of New Zealand, a country known for its sheep industry, are dotted
everywhere with white sheep. During the yearly lambing season, thousands of baby lambs are born.
Unfortunately, some lambs die at birth. Many mother sheep are also lost during lambing season; they die
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giving birth. In an attempt to save the orphaned lambs, the shepherds match baby lambs that have lost
their mothers with mother sheep who have lost their lambs. It’s not as easy as it sounds, though—a
mother sheep won’t accept a lamb and nurse it unless it is her own.
How, then, do shepherds get a mother sheep to accept an orphaned lamb as her own? The process is as
old as shepherding itself. The mother’s own lamb, which has died, is skinned, and the skin of the dead
lamb is draped over the living lamb as it is placed by the adoptive mother’s side. The mother sheep then
smells the skin and accepts the orphaned lamb as her own.
Lambing season in New Zealand reminds us of what Jesus did for us on the cross. When John wrote in
Revelation 7:14 and 12:11 of our being saved by “the blood of the Lamb,” it was in terms that people in
agrarian societies vividly understood.
Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought
near through the blood of Christ. For he…has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…”
(Ephesians 2:13-14). Because of Christ’s blood, God accepts us as his own. Once we were orphans, but
now we are God’s adopted children.
The Blood of an Overcomer
Louis Pasteur’s coworker in the demonstration of what used to be called the germ theory was Dr. Felix
Ruh, a Jewish doctor in Paris. The physician’s granddaughter had died of black diphtheria, and Dr. Ruh,
vowing he would find out what had killed his granddaughter, locked himself in his laboratory for days. He
emerged with a fierce determination to prove, with his colleague Louis Pasteur, that the germ theory was
more than a theory.
The medical association had disapproved of Pasteur and had succeeded in getting him exiled, but he did
not go far from Paris. He hid in the forest and erected a laboratory in which to continue his forbidden
research.
Twenty beautiful horses were led out into the forest to the improvised laboratory. Scientists, doctors, and
nurses came to watch the experiment. Ruh opened a steel vault and took out a large pail filled with black
diphtheria germs, which he had cultured carefully for months. There were enough germs in that pail to kill
everyone in France. The scientist went to each horse and swabbed its nostrils, tongue, throat, and eyes
with the deadly germs. Every horse except one developed a terrific fever and died. Most of the doctors
and scientists wearied of the experiment and did not remain for what they thought would be the death of
the remaining horse.
For several more days this final horse lingered, lying pathetically on the ground. While Ruh, Pasteur, and
several others were sleeping on cots in the stables, the orderly on duty had been instructed to awaken the
scientists should there be any change in the animal’s temperature during the night.
About two o’clock in the morning the temperature showed a half-degree decrease, and the orderly
awakened Dr. Ruh. By morning the thermometer had dropped two more degrees. By night the fever was
entirely gone, and the horse was able to stand, eat, and drink.
Then Dr. Ruh took a sledgehammer and struck that beautiful horse a deathblow between the eyes. The
scientist drew all the blood from the veins of this animal that had developed the black diphtheria but had
overcome it. The scientists drove as fast as they could to the municipal hospital in Paris. They forced their
way past the superintendent and the guards and went into the ward where three hundred babies lay,
segregated to die from black diphtheria. With the blood of the horse, they forcibly inoculated every one of
the babies. All but three lived and recovered completely.
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They were saved by the blood of an overcomer.
We have been saved by the blood of an overcomer. Jesus Christ overcame sin and death on the Cross, and
by his blood we are saved. (See Ephesians 1:7.)
When Do I Die?
A family was involved in a serious traffic accident. Mike, the youngest of two brothers involved, was badly injured
and needed a blood transfusion. Mike’s big brother Danny, who was only eight years old, had the same blood type as
his younger brother. The dad sat down with Danny and carefully explained to him why this blood transfusion was
needed and how wonderful it would be for his little brother. After some silence, Danny responded by saying, “Yes,
Daddy, I’ll give my blood to Mike so he can get well.”
At the hospital, a pint of blood was drawn from Danny’s veins. Only after the needle was removed did Danny turn to
his father with tears rolling down his cheeks and ask, “Daddy, when do I die?”
The father suddenly realized with a shock that Danny had misunderstood his explanation of giving blood. Danny
thought he was giving all of his blood to save the life of his brother! He thought that he would die after the
transfusion was over. Yet he still had agreed to help his little brother.
Danny was willing to die so that his little brother would live. That’s what Christ did for each of us. He shed his own
blood to give us life. “He died for us so that…we may live together with him” (I Thessalonians 5:10).
CHOICES
The Choice
Centuries ago in China a teacher would call one of his students to the front of the room. He would hold out both hands and
explain to the chosen student that one hand held a valuable gold coin and the other was empty. He would invite the chosen
student to choose one hand or the other. If the student chose the coin, he would be allowed to keep it. But if he chose the
empty hand, the teacher would strike the boy with his clenched fist. If the student decided not to choose at all, he could
return to his seat.
This ritual was practiced each day in the teacher’s classroom. Because the students knew of the teacher’s strength and skill
as a fighter, they were afraid to make a choice. They knew that to be hit by him would result in serious injury.
On the rare occasion that a student would choose a hand, the teacher would ask, “Are you sure?”
As the student looked more closely at the teacher’s hard fist and even harder scowl, he would invariably change his mind
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and hurry back to his seat.
Finally, Chin was called to front of the room. Chin’s father had died in the wars five years before and his family was
having trouble getting by. Chin needed the gold coin.
The instructor held out his fists. Chin studied both hands for a long time. His classmates stared at him, expecting him to
simply return to his seat as each of them had done. Finally Chin pointed to the teacher’s left fist.
“Are you sure?” the instructor asked.
Chin nodded.
“Would you like to forget about your choice and return to your seat?”
Chin shook his head no.
The instructor’s fist shot out and struck Chin squarely in the face, knocking him to the floor.
Chin lay on the floor looking up at his teacher in a daze. Then the instructor turned both fists over and revealed that each
of them held a gold coin.
“You can not expect anything for free,” the teacher told his class. “There is a price that comes with everything.”
The teacher helped Chin to his feet, smiled, and placed the gold coins into his hand. He never repeated the exercise again.
People today are afraid to make choices. Like the students in the classroom, they are afraid of failure. They are afraid of
pain. They are afraid of commitment. They are afraid that it might cost them something.
Take marriage, for example. Many young people today choose not to marry because they know that commitment to one
person will require a good deal of effort and self-denial. They would rather live their lives selfishly, not having to sacrifice
to meet the needs of another person.
Life is full of choices like that. And contrary to popular belief, the best things in life are not free. They are always costly—
but worth it.
The Bible sets before us some very clear choices: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15).
Do you have the courage to step out from the crowd and choose the way that offers the greatest reward?
Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many
enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).
Dead or Alive?
Two brothers were arguing about the wisdom of their parents. “Father is very wise,” said the first brother. “We should
listen to him and do what he says.”
The second brother disagreed. “Father is not so wise! Why, we are just as smart as he is. I’ll prove it to you!”
The next day the second brother went into the woods near his home and captured a small bird. He brought the bird
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home and said to his brother, “Let’s go find our father. I will show you that he isn’t so smart!”
The two brothers went into their father’s study, the second one holding the small bird between his cupped hands.
“Father, I have a question for you,” he said. “I hold a small bird in my hands. Tell me, is this bird dead or alive?”
The boy was confident that his father would not answer correctly because if he said that the bird was dead, the boy
would simply open his hands and show that the bird was alive. If his father answered that the bird was alive, he would
crush the bird between his hands and reveal that the bird was dead. Then he would prove to his brother that his father
was not so wise after all.
The boys’ father considered the question for a moment and said, “My son...the answer is in your hands.”
Sometimes we come to our Heavenly Father with questions that are just as impossible to answer. “Tell me, God, what
should I do with my life? Who should I marry? Where should I live? What will my future hold?” We expect God to
arrange our lives for us and make everything work out just right. After all, isn’t that what an all-powerful, all-knowing
God is for?
The answer is no. In his wisdom, God created us with free will. In effect, He says to us, “My son, my daughter, the
answer is in your hands.”
While God does know the future—and most certainly has the power to determine it—he has graciously given us
control over our own lives. He created us in his own image; that is, with the ability to choose, to decide what we will
do, how we will live, whom we will serve.
He chose not be a cosmic puppeteer, simply pulling the strings of our lives and making us into people who would
automatically serve him and love him. Instead, he gave us the ability to decide for ourselves whether to love him or
not, whether to obey him or not, and whether to serve him or not. He wants us to have eternal life (see 2 Peter 3:9), but
the “answer is in our hands” (see Deuteronomy 30:19 and Joshua 24:15).
Donuts at the Back
I was holding a notice from my 13-year-old son’s school announcing a meeting to preview the new course in
sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and take part in an actual lesson presented exactly as it would be
given to the students.
Arriving at the school, I was surprised to discover only about a dozen parents gathered, waiting for the
presentation. I picked up a teacher guide and thumbed through page after page of instructions in the prevention of
pregnancy or disease. Abstinence was mentioned only in passing.
When the teacher arrived with the school nurse, she asked if there were any questions. I asked why abstinence did
not play a noticeable part in the material. What happened next shocked me. Speaking over a great deal of laughter,
someone suggested that if I thought abstinence had any merit, I should go back to burying my head in the sand.
The teacher and the nurse said nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment. My mind had gone blank, and I
could think of nothing to say. The teacher explained to me that the job of the school was to teach facts; the home
was responsible for moral training. I sat in silence for the next 20 minutes as she explained the course to parents
who seemed to give their unqualified support to the materials.
“Donuts at the back,” announced the teacher during the break. “I’d like you to put on the name tags we’ve
prepared—they’re right by the donuts—and mingle with the other parents.” Everyone moved to the back of the
room. As I watched them affixing their name tags and shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I was ashamed that I
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had not been able to convince them to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the materials.
I uttered a silent prayer for guidance. My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher’s hand on my shoulder. “Won’t
you join the others, Mr. Daniels?” The nurse smiled sweetly at me. “The donuts are good.”
“Thank you, no,” I replied.
“Well then, how about a name tag? I’m sure the others would like to meet you.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” I replied.
“Won’t you please join them?” she coaxed. Then I heard a still, small voice whisper, “Don’t go.” The instruction
was unmistakable. “Don’t go!”
“I’ll just wait here,” I said.
The teacher called the class back to order and, looking around the long table, thanked everyone for putting on
name tags. She ignored me. “Now we’re going to give you the same lesson we’ll be giving your children,” she
began. “Everyone, please peel off your name tags.” I watched in silence as the tags came off. “Now then, on the
back of one of the tags, I drew a tiny flower. Who has it, please?”
The gentleman across from me held it up. “Here it is!”
“All right,” she said. “The flower represents disease. Do you recall with whom you shook hands?” He pointed to a
couple of people. “Very good,” she replied. “The handshake in this case represents intimacy. So the two people
you had contact with now have the disease.” That produced another round of laughter and witty comments.
“And with whom did the two of you shake hands?” the teacher continued. She had made her point. “This
demonstrates for students how quickly disease is spread. Since we all shook hands, we all have the disease.”
At that moment I heard again the still, small voice. “Speak now,” it said, “but be humble.” Noting wryly the latter
admonition, I rose from my chair and apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier. I then congratulated the
teacher on an excellent lesson that would impress the youth, and concluded by saying I had only one small point I
wished to make.
“Not all of us were infected,” I said. “One of us...abstained.”
When you are tempted to do what you know is wrong, listen for that still, small voice. It will likely be the voice of
the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) prompting you to obey God. And when you obey, you will have nothing to regret.
Dumb Crooks
These are actual crimes committed by actual criminals.
Two Kentucky men tried to pull off the front of a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of
their pickup truck. The front panel of the machine was so secure that instead they pulled off the bumper of their truck.
Scared, they fled the scene and drove home, leaving the chain attached to the machine...with their bumper still attached
to the chain...with their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.
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A man convicted of robbery in Texas worked out a deal to pay $9,600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence.
For payment he provided the court with a check—a stolen check with a forged signature. He got 10 years.
A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty trash-bag face mask over his head.
Too late he realized that he’d forgotten to cut eye-holes in the mask. While sprinting blindly to the door, he fell down
and was captured.
A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank’s video camera...while it was recording...remotely.
In other words, he got a camera only. The videotape of himself stealing the camera was still in the recorder located
elsewhere in the bank.
A man successfully broke into a bank’s basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the
process. He then realized that he couldn’t get to the money from where he was, and he couldn’t climb back out the
window through which he had entered. On top of that he was bleeding from all his cuts. So he located a phone and
dialed “911.”
A man walked into a convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the
cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The
man grabbed the cash from the clerk and fled—leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
In San Francisco a man walked into a downtown Bank of America and wrote, “This is a stickup. Put all your many in
this bag.” While standing in line waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, guessing from his
spelling errors that he was not the brightest bank robber in the world, told him that she could not accept his stick-up
note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said okay and left the Wells Fargo Bank. The Wells Fargo teller then called the
police who arrested him a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America.
Sin is stupid.
Little Rivets, Big Disaster
Over fifteen hundred people died in the worst maritime disaster of all time—the sinking of the Titanic on its
maiden voyage from England to New York. On a April night in 1912 the luxurious 900-foot-long cruise
ship hit an iceberg and sank. At least that’s what historians believe, as well as the script writers of the hit
movie.
An international team of divers and scientists has challenged that theory. Using sound waves to probe
through the wreckage lying in mud some two and a half miles below the surface, they discovered that the
damage was surprisingly small. Instead of a huge gash, they found six relatively narrow slits across six
watertight holds.
Further, a salvage team recovered several of the rivets which secured the damaged hull. Analysis revealed
the rivets were made of a low-grade steel. This has led scientists to propose that the Titanic sank not
because of a collision with the iceberg, but because of a few small rivets of inferior quality. Had these rivets
held, the ship may have survived the impact of the collision.
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The failure of a tiny rivet can sink a colossal ship.
We, too, can be sunk by small sins, small omissions, small compromises. Failures in the areas of our lives
that may be invisible to others have a way of doing visible damage.
Sammy’s Big Catch
Sammy was a good-looking young boy who lived in the Deep South. His summer days were filled with walking
through the woods, playing with friends and fishing in the pond down the dirt road. Fishing was by far his favorite
thing to do. Just about every day during his summer vacation, he would dig up some worms and head off, pole in
hand, for a day of fishing.
This steamy hot day was like most others during Sammy’s summer break. Waking early, he could hear the pond
calling him to come fish. Sammy quietly walked out the front door, grabbed his pitchfork and worm pail from the
porch, and walked into the woods to search for bait. He turned over old stumps and dug under leaves hoping to
find worms. Under one old stump he hit the jackpot. The ground was writhing. In two minutes he had all the bait
he needed, and in fifteen minutes he was at the pond.
Reaching into his bait bucket, Sammy pulled out a big worm. He double hooked it and tossed it into the water. He
noticed a stinging in his hand, but filled with the excitement of the moment, he paid no attention to it. Within 30
seconds, Sammy had a strike and pulled in a nice catfish. Wow, he thought, a fish in the first minute. This is
unbelievable!
He put the catch on his stringer, hurried to re-bait his hook, and tried his luck again. Once again he felt a stinging
sensation in his hand as he threw his hook into the pond. He didn’t have time to worry about it. Within just a few
seconds, he had another huge fish. He fumbled the next time he baited his hook—his hand felt numb and stiff. But
Sammy was too excited about catching another fish to give it much thought.
At the end of only an hour of fishing, Sammy had caught eight large fish. This was definitely his best fishing day
ever. He was so proud of his accomplishment that, even though there was plenty of day left to fish, he threw the
heavy stringer of fish over his shoulder and dashed down the dirt road toward home to show off his catch to his
mom and dad.
The local Sheriff happened to drive up alongside Sammy and started to congratulate him on his catch of fish.
With a smile and a victory whoop, Sammy held up the stringer. The sheriff gasped, parked his car and strode over
to Sammy. His eyes hadn’t deceived him—Sammy’s arms really were red and swollen to about twice their normal
size.
“Exactly where have you been and what bait did you use to catch all those fish?” the Sheriff asked Sammy,
already guessing the answer.
“I found some special bait under an old stump,” Sammy boasted. “These worms really wiggle good,” he
commented, handing up the bait bucket for inspection. After a close look at the worms, the sheriff went into fast
forward. Securing the bucket in his truck, he then scooped Sammy and his stringer of fish into the backseat of his
patrol car. Spinning a U-turn on the gravel road, he sped off to the hospital, but Sammy was already dead.
What the sheriff had discovered was that Sammy had been fishing with baby rattlesnakes.
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Sammy’s deadly bait brought him a good morning’s fishing but cost him his life. Had Sammy stopped fishing
after that first sting, he could have been saved. One bite from a baby rattler won’t kill a person who gets treatment
in time. But Sammy was having fun and didn’t bother himself with the small voice of pain in his hand. Then, as
his hand grew numb, even that small voice was silenced.
Playing around with sin is like using baby rattlesnakes for bait. Sinning seems harmless to young people who
don’t recognize sin and are unaware of its deadly consequences. The more sin you get into, however, the more
numb you become to its sting. In the excitement of the moment, you ignore the still small voice of God warning
you of danger and encouraging you to choose life instead of death.
CHRISTIAN LIVING
The Mirror
Author Robert Fulghum tells this story of one of his professors, a wise man whose name was Alexander Papaderos.
At the last session on the last morning of a two-week seminar on Greek culture, Dr. Papaderos turned and made the ritual
gesture—“Are there any questions?”
Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for a lifetime, but for now, there was only
silence.
“No questions?” Papaderos swept the room with his eyes.
So, I asked.
“Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?”
The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.
Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and
seeing from my eyes that I was.
“I will answer your question.”
Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about
the size of a quarter. And he went something like this.
“When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I
found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.
“I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And
by scratching it on a stone, I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could
reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine—in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a
game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.
“I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge
of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child’s game but a metaphor for what I might
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do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light—truth, understanding,
knowledge—is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.
“I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect
light into the dark places of this world—into the black places in the hearts of men—and change some things in some
people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of life.”
And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright rays of daylight streaming through the
window and reflected them on my face and onto my hands folded on the desk.
(From It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It by Robert Fulghum. Copyright 1988, 1989 by Robert Fulghum. Adapted by
permission of Villard Books, a division of Random House, Inc.)
Jesus said, “I am the light of the world” (John 9:5) and as his followers, we are to be like that little mirror, reflecting the
light of Christ into the dark corners of the world. That is the meaning of the Christian life. “Let your light shine before
men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
Room in the Lifeboats
Catering to the rich and famous, this luxury liner was advertised as unsinkable. On Titanic’s fateful night,
passengers who somehow still believed the advertisement refused to get in the lifeboats, even though they were
told the ship was going down. They held to their belief in the advertisement that the ship was unsinkable—and
were actually offended by officers who told them to climb into a cramped lifeboat when they had paid
enormous sums for luxurious accommodations.
Other passengers were unable to enter a lifeboat because of the selfish privileged who felt no concern for
anyone but themselves. The first-class passengers feared that added weight in the lifeboats would jeopardize
their chance for survival. As a result, many of the ship’s lifeboats, which were made to hold up to 60 people,
left the ship with only 15 people aboard.
Although there were enough lifeboats to save hundreds more, people either refused to use them, or they were
left stranded on the sinking liner.
The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ provided the lifeboat we all must climb aboard. To miss that lifeboat
is to perish. Many people either continue to believe that the world can offer them happiness or salvation
through their own efforts, or they are left stranded because Christians have been too selfish to reach out to
them. There is more than enough room at the Cross for those who are perishing.
CHRISTIANITY
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The CPR Class
When Gordon accepted the youth pastor position at his church, he learned that the job required CPR training.
Reluctantly he signed up for a class offered by the local YMCA.
Gordon felt a little uncomfortable in the class at first but decided to make the best of it. When things got a little boring,
he entertained the class—and irritated the instructor—with a few jokes.
Even though he didn’t take the instruction seriously, he managed to pass the CPR exam. He became a certified
lifesaver, though he had very little confidence in his ability to actually save someone’s life.
A few weeks later Gordon was driving to work when he witnessed a traffic accident. He jumped out of his car to see if
he could help. Someone yelled, “Does anybody here know CPR?”
Nervously, Gordon answered, “I do!” and stepped to the front. There was a man on the ground who appeared to be
unconscious. Gordon told someone to call 911 and quickly examined the victim. He checked to see if the man was
breathing and found nothing.
Gordon knew that he was supposed to administer quick breaths and force air into the man’s lungs. But at that moment
the reality of the situation hit him.
What am I doing here? he wondered. I can’t do this! I don’t remember a thing from that silly CPR class!
Gordon backed away for several seconds to collect his thoughts. That’s when he noticed just how dirty and disgusting
the man was.
There’s no way I can give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, Gordon decided.
Then the gravity of the situation overtook him. The man was dying, and Gordon had to do something. Gordon knelt
down, cupped his mouth over the man’s, and began giving him quick breaths. He checked for a pulse and found that
the man’s heart was beating. He checked for breathing. Still nothing. The man wasn’t getting oxygen. Gordon gave
him more quick, forceful breaths. Dozens of onlookers encouraged him. Some of them prayed.
After what seemed like an eternity, the man on the ground finally started breathing on his own. About that time, a team
of paramedics arrived on the scene. The paramedics thanked Gordon and assured him that the man was going to live.
Gordon walked away from the incident feeling overwhelmed. Despite the fact that he’d felt completely inadequate and
unprepared to save someone’s life, he had actually done it. He thought of his CPR class and how he’d considered it a
waste of time.
As it turned out, Gordon was wrong about that.
Do you ever get the feeling that going to church, reading your Bible, and praying are complete wastes of time? Do
those activities seem boring and irrelevant to you? Do you ever wonder how you can apply a sermon principle or a
Bible verse to your life?
Gordon found himself prepared to save a man’s life in spite of himself. That same type of surprise may await you.
Someday you will face an unexpected, stressful, and seemingly impossible situation. You may feel overwhelmed by
the real challenges of life. But you’ll be prepared in spite of yourself. The time you spend now learning and growing in
the faith will pay off big time later. You can count on it. (2 Timothy 2:15; 4:2; Ephesians 2:10)
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Great Answers but No Help
According to an ancient legend, a man became lost in his travels and wandered into a bed of quicksand.
Confucius saw the man’s predicament and said, “It is evident that men should stay out of places such as
this.”
Next, Buddha observed the situation and said, “Let that man’s plight be a lesson to the rest of the world.”
Then Mohammed came by and said to the sinking man, “Alas, it is the will of God.”
Finally, Jesus appeared on the scene and said, “Take my hand, brother. I will save you.”
There are many religions in the world—and they all have things about them which are admirable and even
true.
But only one provides salvation from sin. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes
to the Father but by me” (John 14:6). No other religious leader has ever made that claim—because they
can’t. Only Jesus has the power and the authority under heaven to forgive us for our sins and to give us
eternal life. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him
shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
Lashed to the Mast
The Odyssey, an epic Greek poem, tells the story of King Odysseus and his heroic struggle against the gods. The
tale begins when the ship of Odysseus is blown off course on the way home from the Trojan Wars. In his effort to
get home, Odysseus lands on an island where he encounters one-eyed monsters known as Cyclops.
One of the Cyclops, Polyphemus, captures the humans and begins devouring them. Odysseus, in order to save
himself and his crew, blinds the eye of the giant and manages to escape from the island.
What Odysseus doesn’t know is that Polyphemus, the Cyclops he blinded, is the son of the Greek god Poseidon. In
retaliation, Poseidon tries to prevent Odysseus from ever reaching home.
To accomplish his goal, Poseidon places Odysseus’s ship in the path of the Island of Sirens. The island is inhabited
by beautiful women (sirens) who sing out to sailors on the sea, enticing them to steer their ships to destruction on
the jagged reefs that surround the island. The sirens’ songs could be heard for great distances.
As Odysseus sails for home, he can hear the songs of the sirens. He’s also well aware of his vulnerability to their
seductive power. His solution is to lash himself to his ship’s mast so he can listen to their songs but not respond to
them. The rest of the crew stuffs their ears to block the sound.
In agony, Odysseus remains lashed to the mast until his ship makes it safely past the island. As a result, he
manages to stay on course until he arrives home safely.
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As we sail the sea of life, we will encounter many temptations and enticements that will threaten to take us off
course and destroy us. The Bible tells us that Satan “prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to
devour” (1 Peter 5:8)—not unlike Poseidon in The Odyssey.
Our best strategy for defeating Satan is not necessarily to withdraw from the world so that we can’t hear his songs.
Instead, we must remain “lashed to the mast”—the cross of Jesus Christ. Our calling as Christians is to be “in the
world, but not of it.” We should be involved in the world without allowing its seductive power to undermine our
integrity. We must remain faithful to who we are as Christians and to resist temptation.
We do this by intentionally tying ourselves to the church, to other Christians, to the Word of God, and to the
disciplines of the Christian life. So if you don’t take steps to insure your survival, you will always be in grave
danger. “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12).
COMMITMENT
Beware of Curare
In 1799 the famous Prussian explorer and scientist Baron Von Humboldt discovered a potent drug called curare.
On an expedition into the jungles of Venezuela, he watched an Indian hunter bring down a large animal with a
single shot from his bow and arrow. The arrow had been poisoned with curare, a potion with two curious properties,
derived from the jungle plants.
Curare injected into the bloodstream, as it was when hunting animals, was deadly. It immobilized the body, attacked
the vital organs, and caused death almost instantaneously.
Humboldt discovered the second property of curare in a more dramatic fashion. He became sick, and a native witch
doctor forced Humboldt to drink some curare that had been diluted with water. Terrified that he was going to die,
Humboldt was surprised to find that after drinking the curare, he felt significantly better. Curare, when it was diluted
and taken orally, he discovered, could have a positive medicinal value without causing any damage to vital organs.
The key to curare’s impact lies principally in the way it is taken into the human body. Injected into the bloodstream,
it’s a deadly killer. Ingested orally, it’s a soothing muscle relaxant.
Christianity is a lot like curare. Its impact depends chiefly on how it is received. Many people choose to take it
orally, diluted as much as possible, so that it has few side effects and makes them feel better—but that’s not the
purpose of true Christianity.
Christianity’s purpose is to change us into new creations in Christ. In order for us to become new creations, we must
die to our old selves and be born again, trading in our old lives for new ones. Those who want a “safe” Christianity
that costs them little have a difficult time accepting death and new birth. True Christianity is not safe—it costs you
your life. It cost God his only beloved Son, and it will cost you everything to follow Him. Paul wrote, “I have been
crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20a).
Don’t settle for a watered-down version of Christianity. It can’t be taken orally. It has to be injected.
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But Is He Safe?
The following dialogue appears in C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia (1961, New York: Macmillan, 1950, C.S.
Lewis PTE. LTD.). In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Susan and Lucy ask Mr. and Mrs. Beaver to describe
Aslan. They ask if Aslan is a man. Mr. Beaver replies.
“Aslan a man? Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea.
Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion—the Lion, the great Lion.”
“Ooh!” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he—quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”
“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver, “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without
their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”
“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about being safe? ’Course
he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
In The Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan is C.S. Lewis’ representation of Jesus Christ. He is depicted as the great lion, the
king of wild beasts, who is anything but “safe.” But, Lewis adds, he is good.
What do you think about Jesus? Have you domesticated him? Is he safe and non-threatening to you and the way you
want to live your life? If you have that image of Jesus—the meek and mild Jesus who doesn’t make any demands on
you, then you have a wrong image of Jesus. He is not safe. But he is good. It takes courage—a radical commitment—
to follow Jesus. Christianity is not a religion for sissies. When you give your life to Christ, you put your life on the
line. Are you willing?
The Call of the Barnyard
A flock of wild ducks was flying in formation, heading south for the winter. They formed a beautiful V in the
sky, and were admired by everyone who saw them from below.
One day, Wally, one of the wild ducks in the formation, spotted something on the ground that caught his eye.
It was a barnyard with a flock of tame ducks that lived on the farm. They were waddling around on the
ground, quacking merrily and eating corn that was thrown on the ground for them every day. Wally liked
what he saw. “It sure would be nice to have some of that corn,” he thought to himself. “And all this flying is
very tiring. I’d like to just waddle around for awhile.”
So after thinking it over a while, Wally left the formation of wild ducks, made a sharp dive to the left, and
headed for the barnyard. He landed among the tame ducks, and began to waddle around and quack merrily.
He also started eating corn. The formation of wild ducks continued their journey south, but Wally didn’t
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care. “I’ll rejoin them when they come back north in few months,” he said to himself.
Several months went by and sure enough, Wally looked up and spotted the flock of wild ducks in formation,
heading north. They looked beautiful up there. And Wally was tired of the barnyard. It was muddy and
everywhere he waddled, nothing but duck doo. “It’s time to leave,” said Wally.
So Wally flapped his wings furiously and tried to get airborne. But he had gained some weight from all his
corn-eating, and he hadn’t exercised his wings much either. He finally got off the ground, but he was flying
too low and slammed into the side of the barn. He fell to the ground with a thud and said to himself, “Oh
well. I’ll just wait until they fly south in a few months. Then I’ll rejoin them and become a wild duck again.”
But when the flock flew overhead once more, Wally again tried to lift himself out of the barnyard. He simply
didn’t have the strength.
Every winter and every spring, he saw his wild duck friends flying overhead, and they would call out to him.
But his attempts to leave were all in vain.
Eventually Wally no longer paid any attention to the wild ducks flying overhead. He hardly even noticed
them. He had, after all, become a barnyard duck.
Sometimes we get tired of being wild ducks—followers of Jesus Christ. It’s not always easy to be obedient to
God and to discipline ourselves to hang in there for the long haul. When we are feeling that way, that’s when
Satan tempts us to “fall out of formation” and to join the barnyard ducks—the world.
But look what happened to Wally. He thought he would just “check it out” for awhile and then leave when he
wanted to. But he couldn’t do it. Sin is like that. Sin is a trap, and it has a way of changing us into people we
don’t even want to become. Eventually we lose touch with who we really are—the sons and daughters of the
Most High. We become barnyard ducks.
The Chicken and the Pig
A chicken and a pig were walking down the street one day and noticed some poor children who looked as if
they hadn’t eaten anything for days.
Moved with compassion, the chicken said to the pig, “I have an idea! Let’s give those children a nice
breakfast of ham and eggs.”
The pig contemplated the chicken’s suggestion and said, “Well, for you, that would involve a small sacrifice;
but for me, it would involve total commitment!”
When Jesus came to save us from sin, he knew that it would cost him his life. He went to the cross anyway to
offer to us eternal life. His commitment to us was total.
Like the pig in the story, our commitment to Christ must be more than a small sacrifice of our time, energy,
and money. It must involve our whole life—all that we are. When we come to Christ, we must be willing to
live out the same total commitment that Jesus modeled. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must
deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).
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The Choice
Centuries ago in China a teacher would call one of his students to the front of the room. He would hold out both hands and
explain to the chosen student that one hand held a valuable gold coin and the other was empty. He would invite the chosen
student to choose one hand or the other. If the student chose the coin, he would be allowed to keep it. But if he chose the
empty hand, the teacher would strike the boy with his clenched fist. If the student decided not to choose at all, he could
return to his seat.
This ritual was practiced each day in the teacher’s classroom. Because the students knew of the teacher’s strength and skill
as a fighter, they were afraid to make a choice. They knew that to be hit by him would result in serious injury.
On the rare occasion that a student would choose a hand, the teacher would ask, “Are you sure?”
As the student looked more closely at the teacher’s hard fist and even harder scowl, he would invariably change his mind
and hurry back to his seat.
Finally, Chin was called to front of the room. Chin’s father had died in the wars five years before and his family was
having trouble getting by. Chin needed the gold coin.
The instructor held out his fists. Chin studied both hands for a long time. His classmates stared at him, expecting him to
simply return to his seat as each of them had done. Finally Chin pointed to the teacher’s left fist.
“Are you sure?” the instructor asked.
Chin nodded.
“Would you like to forget about your choice and return to your seat?”
Chin shook his head no.
The instructor’s fist shot out and struck Chin squarely in the face, knocking him to the floor.
Chin lay on the floor looking up at his teacher in a daze. Then the instructor turned both fists over and revealed that each
of them held a gold coin.
“You can not expect anything for free,” the teacher told his class. “There is a price that comes with everything.”
The teacher helped Chin to his feet, smiled, and placed the gold coins into his hand. He never repeated the exercise again.
People today are afraid to make choices. Like the students in the classroom, they are afraid of failure. They are afraid of
pain. They are afraid of commitment. They are afraid that it might cost them something.
Take marriage, for example. Many young people today choose not to marry because they know that commitment to one
person will require a good deal of effort and self-denial. They would rather live their lives selfishly, not having to sacrifice
to meet the needs of another person.
Life is full of choices like that. And contrary to popular belief, the best things in life are not free. They are always costly—
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but worth it.
The Bible sets before us some very clear choices: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15).
Do you have the courage to step out from the crowd and choose the way that offers the greatest reward?
Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many
enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).
Finish the Race
The Barcelona Olympics of 1992 provided one of track and field’s most incredible moments.
Britain’s Derek Redmond had dreamed all his life of winning a gold medal in the 400-meter race, and his dream was
in sight as the gun sounded in the semifinals at Barcelona. He was running the race of his life and could see the finish
line as he rounded the turn into the backstretch. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain go up the back of his leg. He fell face
first onto the track with a torn right hamstring.
Sports Illustrated recorded the dramatic events:
As the medical attendants were approaching, Redmond fought to his feet. “It was animal instinct,” he would say later.
He set out hopping, in a crazed attempt to finish the race. When he reached the stretch, a large man in a T-shirt came
out of the stands, hurled aside a security guard and ran to Redmond, embracing him. It was Jim Redmond, Derek’s
father. “You don’t have to do this,” he told his weeping son. “Yes, I do,” said Derek. “Well, then,” said Jim, “we’re
going to finish this together.”
And they did. Fighting off security men, the son’s head sometimes buried in his father’s shoulder, they stayed in
Derek’s lane all the way to the end, as the crowd gaped, then rose and howled and wept.
Derek didn’t walk away with the gold medal, but he walked away with an incredible memory of a father who, when he
saw his son in pain, left his seat in the stands to help him finish the race.
That’s what God does for us. When we are experiencing pain and we’re struggling to finish the race, we can be
confident that we have a loving Father who won’t let us do it alone. He left his place in heaven to come alongside us in
the person of his Son, Jesus Christ. “I am with you always,” says Jesus, “to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).
The Glove
(Best presented as an object lesson, this illustration needs only a glove.)
Amazingly, a glove can do all sorts of things—pick up a book, wave good-bye, scratch my head, pat someone on the back,
or slap somebody in the face. (Put a glove on your hand and demonstrate how the “glove” can do these or other similar
things.)
This glove can do nothing if I take my hand out of it, however. (Demonstrate this.) All it does is lie there. I can yell at it,
get mad at it, try to teach it lessons, but to no avail. It can do nothing on its own. Without my hand inside, the glove is
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nothing more than an ordinary piece of cloth (or leather or whatever it’s made of).
People, like this glove, can do little of real consequence on their own. In the flesh we are weak, but with Christ we are
strong. When my hand is inside the glove, the glove can do anything my hand wants it to do. In Philippians 4:13, Paul
teaches me that I am like a glove. On my own I can do nothing. But with Christ in me, I can do whatever Christ wants me
to do. He is the one who gives me the strength and the ability to do it. We can be sure that if we obey Christ, he will be with
us and give us the strength to do his will.
Grandma’s Gift
As a ninth grader, Dave was the smallest kid in his high school. But at five feet tall and ninety pounds, he was the
perfect candidate for the lightest weight class on the school’s wrestling team.
Dave started out as the JV lightweight, but moved up to the varsity position when the boy at that spot moved away.
Unfortunately, Dave’s first year was not one for the record books. Of the six varsity matches he wrestled, he was
pinned six times.
Dave had a dream of someday being a good enough wrestler to receive his athlete’s letter. An athlete’s letter is a cloth
emblem with the school’s initials on it, which is awarded to those athletes who demonstrate exceptional performance
in their sports. Those who were fortunate enough to receive a letter proudly wore it on their school letterman jackets.
Whenever Dave shared his dream of “lettering” in wrestling, most of his teammates and friends just laughed. Those
who did offer encouragement to Dave usually said something like, “Well, it’s not whether you win or lose…” or “It’s
not really important whether you letter or not…” Even so, Dave was determined to work hard and keep improving as a
wrestler.
Every day after school, Dave was in the weight room trying to build up his strength, or running the stadium bleachers
trying to increase his endurance, or in the wrestling room trying to improve his technique.
The one person who continually believed in Dave was his grandmother. Every time she saw him, she reminded him of
what could be done through prayer and hard work. She told him to keep focused on his goal. Over and over again, she
quoted Scripture verses to him, like “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!” (Philippians 4:13).
The day before the next season began, Dave’s grandmother passed away. He was heartbroken. If he ever did reach his
goal of someday getting a high school letter, his grandmother would never know.
That season Dave’s opponents faced a new person. What they expected was an easy victory. What they got instead
was a ferocious battle. Dave won nine of his first ten matches that year.
Midway through the season, Dave’s coach called him into his office to inform him that he would be receiving his high
school letter. Dave was ecstatic. The only thing that could have made him feel better was to be able to share it with his
grandmother. If only she knew!
Just then the coach smiled as he presented Dave with an envelope. The envelope had Dave’s name written on it in his
grandmother’s handwriting. He opened it and read:
Dear Dave,
I knew you could do it! I set aside $100 to buy you a school jacket to put your letter on. I hope
you’ll wear it proudly, and remember, “You can do all things through Christ who gives you
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strength!”
Congratulations,
Grandma
After Dave finished reading the letter, his coach reached behind him and pulled out a brand new jacket with the school
letter attached and Dave’s name embroidered on the front. Dave realized then that his grandmother did know after all.
Christ does give us the strength to achieve great things, and sometimes the power of Christ comes to us through other
people. Dave was motivated to work hard because of the encouragement he received from his grandmother. His
grandmother was, in a very real sense, the power of Christ working in his life. Likewise, when we encourage and
support one another, we are allowing Christ to work through us in a powerful way.
Are you an encouraging person? Too often we are like Dave’s friends and teammates. We cut each other down and
discourage each other so much that we lose heart. But when we have even one person who believes in us, we find the
strength to work hard and to reach our potential.
One person who never stops believing in us is God. Others may put us down, but our heavenly Father believes in us so
much that he gave his Son to die for us.
How to Catch a Monkey
Native hunters in the jungles of Africa have a clever way of trapping monkeys.
They slice a coconut in two, hollow it out, and in one half of the shell cut a hole just big enough for a
monkey’s hand to pass through. Then they place an orange in the other coconut half before fastening together
the two halves of the coconut shell. Finally, they secure the coconut to a tree with a rope, retreat into the
jungle, and wait.
Sooner or later, an unsuspecting monkey swings by, smells the delicious orange, and discovers its location
inside the coconut. The monkey then slips his hand through the small hole, grasps the orange, and tries to pull
it through the hole. Of course, the orange won’t come out; it’s too big for the hole. To no avail the persistent
monkey continues to pull and pull, never realizing the danger he is in.
While the monkey struggles with the orange, the hunters simply stroll in and capture the monkey by throwing
a net over him. As long as the monkey keeps his fist wrapped around the orange, the monkey is trapped.
It’s too bad—the poor monkey could save its life if it would only let go of the orange. It rarely occurs to a
monkey, however, that it can’t have both the orange and its freedom. That delicious orange becomes a deadly
trap.
The world sets traps for you that are not unlike the monkey trap. You hear constantly that if you just have
enough money, enough stuff, enough power, enough prestige—then you’ll be happy. Under that illusion
people spend their whole lives trying to pull the orange out of the coconut. Don’t fall for it. Don’t be trapped
by thinking you must have it all. What the world offers appears delicious, but it eventually robs us of our
freedom, our happiness, even our lives.
Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves
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break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven” (Matthew 6:19-20). Jesus also said, “What
good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36).
Jesus and the Football Team
At a high school summer camp, a mere two weeks before football “hell week,” as the players called
preseason training, several members of the varsity football team made decisions to follow Christ in
response to the camp speaker’s inspirational talk about Jesus turning losers into winners. The next
Sunday morning, those players all showed up for church.
“Great to see you here,” said the pastor when he greeted the boys after the service.
“Yeah, well, we all became Christians,” said one of the boys.
“Because with Jesus on our team, we can’t lose!” said another.
“Well, I’m very happy for you,” grinned the pastor.
The following Saturday night, one of the girls in the youth group noticed one of the football players
standing in front of a neighbor’s house. A party was in full swing, and the boy was staggering around on
the lawn, apparently drunk. She saw him urinate on a friend’s parked car.
“What are you doing here?” she questioned. “I thought you became a Christian!” He snapped back, “Hey,
that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun! I’m not going to let Jesus or anybody else tell me what to do!”
During the course of the season, the football team lost seven of their first eight games. Apparently, Jesus
forgot to suit up. One by one the players who “became Christians” quit showing up for church and youth
group activities. By the end of the season, it was hard to find a single player within ten miles of the
church on Sunday morning.
Yes, Jesus can turn losers into winners, but not winners according to the way the world defines winning.
Jesus said that the only way to win is to lose. (See Matthew 16:25.) Jesus himself lost his own life in
order to achieve victory over sin and death. He is the ultimate winner, but he won by paying a high price.
Jesus is our example; he calls us to become his disciples and follow him in costly obedience. If you are
following Christ for selfish reasons and are unwilling to conform your life to his, you will lose. On the
other hand, if you are ready to lose your life for his sake, you will ultimately win. Faith without
obedience is no faith at all. (See James 2:17.)
Thomas Edison, the Failure
Biographers have written that Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, made over nine hundred light
bulbs that didn’t work before he finally made one that did. Nine hundred times he went to all the trouble of
making a light bulb, plugging it in, flipping the switch, and watching while nothing happened. People
must have thought he was nuts, but he kept on trying. According to Edison, every time he made a light
bulb that didn’t work, he merely found “one more way not to make a light bulb.” Eventually, by the
process of elimination, he made a light bulb that produced light. As a result, he is known as one of the
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greatest inventors of all time.
Most of us don’t realize how many failures successful people endure before they achieve their purposes.
We only hear about the one time they succeed. What made Edison great was his commitment to making a
light bulb. He didn’t let his failures discourage him. He hung in there and kept trying, even though he kept
goofing up.
So it is with the Christian life. Most Christians we look up to failed many times before arriving where they
are today. The apostle Paul admitted as much in Romans 7. “I mess up all the time!” he moaned. “The
things I want to do, I don’t do, and vice versa.” But Paul kept on running the race, striving to reach his
goal, the finish line. (See Philippians 3:14.) He never gave up. That’s commitment. Being committed
doesn’t mean you are successful all the time. It means you hang in there. You keep on making mistakes.
Like Edison, you learn from your mistakes one more way not to live the Christian life. Most of us don’t
realize how many failures successful people endure before they achieve their purposes. We only hear
about the one time they succeed. What made Edison great was his commitment to making a light bulb. He
didn’t let his failures discourage him. He hung in there and kept trying, even though he kept goofing up.
The Tightrope and the Wheelbarrow
The story is told of a great circus performer by the name of Blondin who stretched a long steel
cable across Niagara Falls. During high winds and without a safety net, he walked, ran, and even
danced across the tightrope to the amazement and delight of the large crowd of people who
watched.
Once he took a wheelbarrow full of bricks and amazed the crowd by pushing it effortlessly across
the cable, from one side of the falls to the other. Blondin then turned to the crowd and asked,
“Now, how many of you believe that I could push a man across the wire in the wheelbarrow?”
The vote was unanimous. Everyone cheered and held their hands high. They all believed he could
do it!
“Then,” asked Blondin, “would one of you please volunteer to be that man?”
As quickly as the hands went up, they went back down. Not a single person would volunteer to
ride in the wheelbarrow and to trust his life to Blondin.
Many people say to Jesus, “Yes, I believe!” If you are among those who say that, are you willing
to demonstrate your belief by trusting your life to him? Are you willing to get in the wheelbarrow
and to risk everything on your faith? That’s what it means to believe. Faith is not just an
intellectual exercise. It involves total commitment.
CONFESSION
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True Confessions
Three longtime friends were out fishing on a boat. After a couple hours without so much as a nibble, they were
starting to get bored.
“I’ve got an idea,” the first man said. “Let’s be totally honest with each other and confess our worst sins. I’ll go first.
I have a big problem with the sin of lust. I’ve been cheating on my wife for over a year. I just can’t seem to control
myself.”
The second man said, “As long as we’re being honest with each other, I’ll tell you what my problem is. It’s the sin
of greed. I just can’t get enough money, so I’ve been embezzling funds from my company for years. I just can’t
seem to control myself.”
The third man said, “Well, my problem is the sin of gossip. Not only can’t I control myself, I can’t wait to get
home!”
Confession may be good for the soul, but God is the only one who can forgive us. He does more than just listen; he
also forgives, heals, restores, and saves you from the consequences of your sin. What’s more, he can provide you
with the power you need to overcome temptation and live a holy life.
Go to God with your sins and believe in his Son, who died to set you free from sin’s power. “If we confess our sins,
he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
CONFORMITY
Ramu
In 1954, a small boy was found outside a hospital in Balrampur, India. Doctors were perplexed by his condition and, after many
examinations, were unsure of how to treat him.
The boy had calloused knees and hands, as if he had spent most of his young life on all fours. He had hideously pointed teeth
with cracks in his gums, suggesting that he had bitten into stone or very hard wood. He had scars on the back of his neck,
suggesting that he had been dragged around by animals with sharp teeth. He spoke no discernible language and seemed unable
to communicate with anyone. He had no name, so the hospital staff called him “Ramu.”
Ramu showed no interest in other children and was especially frightened by adults. But one day, a hospital employee took
Ramu and some other children for a visit to the zoo. The employee noticed that Ramu became extremely excited when he saw
the wolf pen. Ramu called to the wolves and seemed to be able to communicate with them.
This led doctors to conduct an experiment. They found that Ramu lapped milk out of a glass rather than drinking it. He tore
apart his food and chewed on meat bones for hours at a time. The doctors finally concluded that Ramu was a ghadya ka bacha,
or wolf boy, who had grown up with the wild animals and, therefore, behaved more like a wolf than a human being.
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Ramu wasn’t actually a wolf boy, of course. He was a human being—a little boy like all little boys—”fearfully and wonderfully
made” (Psalm 139:14) in the image of his heavenly Father. But he grew up with wolves and became just like one of them.
You may not have to worry about developing wolflike tendencies, but if you allow yourself to be surrounded by people who
don’t share your beliefs and priorities, you run the risk of becoming just like them. First Corinthians 15:33 reminds us,“Bad
company corrupts good character.”
Soaring
Everybody is gifted in some way. Patrick’s gift was the ability to fly. He’d had the gift since he was a toddler. Patrick’s
mother found him sitting on top of a bookshelf or the fireplace mantle many times and assumed he had climbed up there.
When he was five, she found him on the roof of the garage and asked how he’d gotten there.
“Flew,” he said.
“Children do not fly,” his mother told him.
Patrick didn’t know that. After that, he didn’t fly anymore. A few times he dreamed of flying and woke up on the front lawn.
His parents said he was sleepwalking, and his mother bought him a nice pair of pajamas in case he should do it again and the
neighbors should see him.
It was when Patrick woke up on the roof of the house that his parents took him to a doctor.
“Children do not fly,” the doctor said when Patrick made the mistake of telling him about the dreams. The doctor gave him
some pills to make him sleep better, but Patrick quit taking them because when he did he couldn’t remembered his dreams the
next morning.
When he was 12 he started having the flying dreams every night. He rarely woke up in his bed, but he didn’t say anything to
his parents about it. He locked the window each night before he went to bed, but sometimes he still woke up outside.
When he was 14 his parents took him to a therapist. The therapist concluded that Patrick’s dreams were symbolic of his need
to escape from something terrible. He thought that some type of long-term abuse was causing Patrick to suppress his
memories and act out his feelings in dreams.
Life at home went from bad to worse. Patrick’s mother was horribly embarrassed by the whole thing, and his father simply
repeated the phrase he’d used since Patrick’s childhood: “Just snap out of it.”
When Patrick turned 16 he was removed from his parents’ custody and placed in a special facility for young people with his
form of dementia. His first night in the facility he stood at his window and gazed out at the sky. When the pretty girl he’d met
in the dining hall floated past his window you could have knocked him over with a feather.
She smiled at him and waved. Soon she was joined by two more teens who briefly worked the lock on Patrick’s window and
opened it from the outside.
“Ready?” the pretty girl asked.
Patrick smiled and flew off with them.
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When God created you, he gave you gifts, talents, and abilities that are uniquely for you. They may not include the ability to
fly, but as you grow older, you’ll discover just what they are. You may have a sharp wit and see the funny side of situations.
You may be inquisitive and want to investigate everything you see. You may be creative and have a desire to invent
something new.
But don’t be surprised if your gifts also cause problems for you. Some people believe everyone should be the same—that
everyone should be normal. If you’re too smart or too friendly or too responsible...well, others may feel a little threatened by
that.
Find out what makes you unique. For some clues, check the Bible—after all, God’s the one who created you. Romans 12:2
says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world.” Don’t be like everyone else. You are God’s special creation,
and he has big plans for your life—plans that are different from everyone else’s. Some of those plans may not even be normal!
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us...If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is
encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him
govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully” (Romans 12:6-8).
Find out what your gift is, and start flying!
CREATION
The Mice in the Piano
Once upon a time a family of mice lived in a large piano. They loved their piano world and the music that often
came to them, filling all the dark spaces with sound and harmony. At first the mice were impressed by it. They
drew comfort and wonder from the thought that there was someone who made the music. Although this
someone was invisible to them, he felt close to them. They loved to think about the Unseen Player whom they
could not see.
Then one day a daring mouse climbed up part of the piano and returned in a very thoughtful mood. He had
made a discovery which revealed how the music was made. Wires were the secret. He had found tightly
stretched wires of graduated lengths which trembled and vibrated. Now the mice had to revise all their old
beliefs. Only the most conservative mice could believe any longer in the Unseen Player.
Later, another mouse explorer returned from an expedition with yet a new discovery about the origins of the
music. Hammers were the true secret! There were dozens of hammers that danced and leaped upon the wires!
This was a more complicated theory, but it all went to show that they lived in a purely mechanical universe. The
Unseen Player came to be thought of as a myth.
Meanwhile, the Unseen Player continued to play.
And meanwhile, God continues to love us and to take care of us.
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The Quaker and the Atheist
Once upon a time, an atheist was arguing with a Quaker about the existence of God.
“Did you ever see God?” asked the atheist.
“No,” said the Quaker.
“Did you ever smell God?” asked the atheist again.
“No,” said the Quaker.
“Well, then,” said the atheist with a smirk on his face. “How can you be so sure that there is a God?”
“Friend, did thee ever see thy brains?” the Quaker asked the atheist.
“No,” said the atheist.
“And did thee ever smell thy brains?” the Quaker asked again.
“No,” answered the atheist.
“Dost thou believe that thou hast any brains?” asked the Quaker once more.
If you have any brains at all, you have to come to the inescapable conclusion that there is indeed a God—
the brains behind this amazing world we call the universe. “No one has ever seen God,” John reminds us
in his gospel (1:18) but he has revealed himself to us in his creation, in his Word, and in the person and
work of Jesus Christ.
What Chair?
Several years ago at a prestigious university, a philosophy professor gave his students a one-question final exam. He
picked up a chair, placed it on top of his desk, and wrote on the board, “Using what you have learned in class this
semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Most of the students dug deep and wrote like crazy for the entire hour. Some of them churned out more than 30 pages of
heady philosophical debate and logic.
One student, though, handed in his paper after less than a minute. As it turned out, he was the only one in the class who
got an “A” on the test.
His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
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Most atheists who believe they can disprove the existence of God using their philosophical and reasoning skills often
unwittingly end up acknowledging his existence. God has made himself known in his creation and revealed himself in the
lives of his people, leaving the atheist with the formidable task of trying to disprove the obvious.
The story is told of an atheist who said to a believer, “I don’t believe God exists.” The believer thought for a minute and
said, “Well, I don’t think God believes you exist, either.” The atheist blurted out, “What do you mean! He has to believe I
exist because he created me!”
DEATH
The Coffin
One episode of the old “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” TV show was about a pretty woman serving a life sentence in prison.
Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.
Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those
prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was
heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death
certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard
and bury it.
Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the
woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with
the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the caretaker returned, he would nail the lid
shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the
coffin. The woman knew that there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker
would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.
The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the
years, he agreed to do it.
The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death
bell ring. She got up, picked the lock of her cell, and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of
times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the
dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin, and pulled the lid shut to wait for
the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.
Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin
with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon
and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn’t make a sound as the
coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and
she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last.
After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free!
Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she
discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.
The final scene faded to black as you heard the woman screaming.
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Typical of Hitchcock’s horror stories, this one has an unexpected ending—an unhappy one.
Many people believe they have life all figured out. They plan to sin, to live their lives by their own rules, and by so doing
gain freedom and happiness. In the end, however, they discover the grisly truth—sin only leads to death and destruction.
Through Christ we may escape from the penalty of sin. We can have freedom and happiness through him: “If the Son sets
you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). Don’t let sin take you to the grave. There is no escape once the dirt is tossed
on top of the coffin. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans
6:23).
Life inside the Womb
Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the womb. Seconds, minutes, hours passed as the two
embryonic lives developed. The spark of life grew and each tiny brain began to take shape and form. With the
development of their brain came feeling, and with feeling, perception—a perception of surroundings, of each
other, and their own lives. They discovered that life was good, and they laughed and rejoiced in their hearts.
One said to the other, “We are sure lucky to have been conceived and to have this wonderful world.”
The other chimed in, “Yes, blessed be our mother who gave us life and each other.”
The twins continued to grow and soon their arms and fingers, legs and toes began to take shape. They stretched
their bodies and churned and turned in their little world. They explored it and found the life cord which gave
them life from their mother’s blood. They were grateful for this new discovery and sang, “How great is the love
of our mother—that she shares all she has with us!”
Weeks passed into months and with the advent of each new month, they noticed a change in each other and in
themselves.
“We are changing,” one said. “What can it mean?”
“It means,” said the other, “that we are drawing near to birth.”
An unsettling chill crept over the two. They were afraid of birth, for they knew that it meant leaving their
wonderful world behind.
Said the one, “Were it up to me, I would live here forever.”
“But we must be born,” said the other. “It has happened to all the others.” Indeed, there was evidence inside the
womb that the mother had carried life before theirs. “And I believe that there is life after birth, don’t you?”
“How can there be life after birth?” cried the one. “Do we not shed our life cord and also the blood tissue when
we are born? And have you ever talked to anyone that has been born? Has anyone ever re-entered the womb
after birth to describe what birth is like? NO!” As he spoke, he fell into despair, and in his despair he moaned,
“If the purpose of conception and our growth inside the womb is to end in birth, then truly our life is senseless.”
He clutched his precious life cord to his breast and said, “And if this is so, and life is absurd, then there really
can be no mother!”
“But there is a mother,” protested the other. “Who else gave us nourishment? Who else created this world for
us?”
“We get our nourishment from this cord—and our world has always been here!” said the one. “And if there is a
mother—where is she? Have you ever seen her? Does she ever talk to you? No! We invented the mother when
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we were young because it satisfied a need in us. It made us feel secure and happy.”
Thus, while the one raved and despaired, the other resigned himself to birth and placed his trust in the hands of
his mother. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks. And soon it was time. They both knew their birth was
at hand, and they both feared what they did not know. As the one was first to be conceived, so he was the first to
be born, the other following.
They cried as they were born into the light. They coughed out fluid and gasped the dry air. And when they were
sure they had been born, they opened their eyes—seeing life after birth for the very first time. What they saw
was the beautiful eyes of their mother, as they were cradled lovingly in her arms. They were home.
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” (1
Corinthians 2:9).
Nobel’s Legacy
The Nobel Peace Prize is the supreme award given to those who have made an exceptional contribution to the
betterment of the world. Other Nobel Prizes are given to those who have made outstanding contributions in the arts
and sciences. There is a story about the Nobel Prize that is rarely ever told.
Alfred Nobel, a Swedish chemist, made his fortune by inventing powerful explosives and licensing the formula to
governments to make weapons. One day Nobel’s brother died, and a newspaper by accident printed an obituary notice
for Alfred instead of the deceased brother.
It identified him as the inventor of dynamite who made a fortune by enabling armies to achieve new levels of mass
destruction. Nobel had the unique opportunity to read his own obituary in his lifetime and to see how he would be
remembered. He was shocked to think that this was what his life would add up to: he would be remembered as a
merchant of death and destruction.
He took his fortune and used it to establish the awards for accomplishments contributing to life rather than death. And
today, Nobel indeed is remembered for his contribution to peace and human achievement—not explosives.
All of us have the ability to leave behind a legacy of peace and goodwill if we choose to do so. Nobel spent much of
his life being “successful” in the business world—only to realize that he had made a huge mistake. Like Scrooge in
Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Nobel got a glimpse of the future and he didn’t like what he saw. So he turned his life
around and gave all that he had made to make the world a better place. What are you living for? If people who know
you could write your obituary, what would they write?
Stephen’s Egg
It was obvious that eight-year-old Stephen’s mental retardation was becoming even more severe. His Sunday school
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teacher did her best to include Stephen in the classroom activities and to avoid situations which might prompt his
classmates to make fun of him.
In April, she gave each of the eight children in the class an empty L’eggs pantyhose container (plastic egg) and
instructed them to place inside the container an object that represented new life in spring. Fearing that Stephen might
not have caught on, and not wanting to embarrass him, the teacher had the children place all the containers on the desk
so that she could open them.
The first had a tiny flower in it. “What a lovely sign of new life,” said the teacher. One of the students couldn’t help but
erupt, “I brought that one!”
Next came a rock. The teacher assumed this must be Stephen’s, since rocks don’t symbolize new life. But Billy shouted
that his rock had moss on it, and moss represented new life. “Very good, Billy,” agreed the teacher.
A butterfly flew from the third container and another child bragged that her choice was the best of all.
The fourth container was empty. This must be Stephen’s, thought the teacher, quickly reaching for a different one.
“Teacher, please don’t skip mine,” interrupted Stephen.
“But it’s empty, Stephen.” said the teacher gently.
“That’s right,” said Stephen. “The tomb was empty, and that represents new life for everyone.”
Later that summer, Stephen’s condition worsened and he died. At his funeral on his casket, mourners found eight
L’eggs pantyhose containers—one from each of his classmates—and all of them empty.
The true story of Stephen reminds us of the hope we all have because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. “For as in
Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:22).
DISCIPLESHIP
Alexander the Great
Alexander the Great, one of the greatest military generals who ever lived, conquered almost the entire known
world with his vast army. One night during a campaign, he couldn’t sleep and left his tent to walk around the
campgrounds.
As he was walking he came across a soldier asleep on guard duty—a serious offense. The penalty for falling
asleep on guard duty was, in some cases, instant death; the commanding officer sometimes poured kerosene on
the sleeping soldier and lit it.
The soldier began to wake up as Alexander the Great approached him. Recognizing who was standing in front of
him, the young man feared for his life.
“Do you know what the penalty is for falling asleep on guard duty?” Alexander the Great asked the soldier.
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“Yes, sir,” the soldier responded in a quivering voice.
“Soldier, what’s your name?” demanded Alexander the Great.
“Alexander, sir.”
Alexander the Great repeated the question: “What is your name?”
“My name is Alexander, sir,” the soldier repeated.
A third time and more loudly Alexander the Great asked, “What is your name?”
A third time the soldier meekly said, “My name is Alexander, sir.”
Alexander the Great then looked the young soldier straight in the eye. “Soldier,” he said with intensity, “either
change your name or change your conduct.”
We who carry the name of Christ and call ourselves Christian must live up to the name. (See 2 Timothy 2:19;
James 2:7; 1 Peter 4:16.)
Alligators in Your Pond
Several years ago, newspapers carried a story about an elderly lady who lived in the Big Cypress Swamp in
South Florida. Her home was an old shack located by a small pond. Every day the lady went out to the pond
to draw water.
In the pond lived an alligator. Despite the danger, the lady allowed this alligator to live in the pond for years.
It seemed tame. She didn’t bother the gator and the gator didn’t bother her.
However, one day while she was drawing water from the pond, the gator swam under the water and then
plunged up, grabbing the old woman’s hand with his mighty jaws. She tried pulling her hand out of his mouth,
but the gator ripped it off. Bleeding profusely, the terrified and stunned old woman crawled back to her shack
and called for help. Paramedics finally arrived and she received medical attention.
The next day, the park ranger found the alligator in the pond and killed it. When they cut the alligator open,
they found the old woman’s hand.
The park ranger told reporters, “Alligators are most dangerous when they lose their fear of humans. By
allowing an alligator to remain in your pond, you unknowingly give it the courage to attack.”
The lady still lives in the swamp. But there are no longer any alligators in her pond.
Scripture clearly teaches us that the wages of sin is death. Yet too many times, we think we can keep sin in
our lives and not suffer the consequences. Eventually it will take a bite out of us.
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The writer of Hebrews warned that we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that
distracts us. If we don’t, it will handicap us and do damage to the cause of Christ.
What are the alligators living in your pond?
Awesome Obedience
A few centuries before Christ, Alexander the Great conquered almost all of the known world with his military
strength, cleverness, and diplomacy. One day Alexander and a small company of soldiers approached a strongly
defended, walled city. Alexander, standing outside the walls, raised his voice, demanding to see the king. The
king, approaching the battlements above the invading army, agreed to hear Alexander’s demands.
“Surrender to me immediately,” commanded Alexander.
The king laughed. “Why should I surrender to you?” he called down. “We have you far outnumbered. You are
no threat to us!”
Alexander was ready to answer the challenge. “Allow me to demonstrate why you should surrender,” he replied.
Alexander ordered his men to line up single file and start marching. He marched them straight toward a sheer
cliff that dropped hundreds of feet to rocks below.
The king and his soldiers watched in shocked disbelief as, one by one, Alexander’s soldiers marched without
hesitation right off the cliff to their deaths. After ten soldiers had died, Alexander ordered the rest of his men to
stop and to return to his side.
The king and his soldiers surrendered on the spot to Alexander the Great.
The king and his soldiers realized that nothing would stop the eventual victory of men actually willing to give
their lives for their leader.
Are you as dedicated to obeying Christ’s commands as Alexander’s soldiers were to obeying Alexander? Are
you willing to be that committed to Christ? Think how much influence Christians could have in the world if they
took seriously the commands of Jesus. “Be careful to obey...so that it may always go well with you and your
children after you, because you will be doing what is good and right in the eyes of the Lord your God”
(Deuteronomy 12:28).
The Battleship and the Lighthouse
In the darkest part of the night, a ship’s captain cautiously piloted his warship through the fogshrouded waters. With straining eyes he scanned the hazy darkness, searching for dangers lurking
just out of sight. His worst fears were realized when he saw a bright light
straight ahead. It appeared to be a vessel on a collision course with his ship.
To avert disaster he quickly radioed the oncoming vessel. “This is Captain Jeremiah Smith,” his
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voiced crackled over the radio. “Please alter your course ten degrees south! Over.”
To the captain’s amazement, the foggy image did not move. Instead, he heard back on the radio,
“Captain Smith. This is Private Thomas Johnson. Please alter your course ten degrees north! Over.”
Appalled at the audacity of the message, the captain shouted back over the radio, “Private Johnson,
this is Captain Smith, and I order you to immediately alter your course ten degrees south! Over.”
A second time the oncoming light did not budge. “With all due respect, Captain Smith,” came the
private’s voice again, “I order you to alter your course immediately ten degrees north! Over.”
Angered and frustrated that this impudent sailor would endanger the lives of his men and crew, the
captain growled back over the radio, “Private Johnson. I can have you court-martialed for this! For
the last time, I command you on the authority of the United States government to alter your course
ten degrees to the south! I am a battleship!”
The private’s final transmission was chilling: “Captain Smith, sir. Once again with all due respect, I
command you to alter your course ten degrees to the north! I am a lighthouse!”
Many of us in today’s world have little respect for authority. We operate as if rules can be (or
should be) changed to fit our personal needs and desires. Commercials egg us on:
“Have it your way.” In reality, we can’t always have it our way. We have to conform our lives to a
higher truth, a higher authority—the Word of God.
God’s truth is like a lighthouse. It’s not going to change to accommodate us. We are the ones who
must change to conform our lives to what God wants for us.
Jesus is also like a lighthouse. The Bible teaches that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today
and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). He will always be there for us. He is absolutely dependable. We
Christians must conform our lives to his will for us. If he tells us to alter our courses, we have no
choice but to obey. That’s what being a disciple is all about.
Bought to Be Freed
Back in the 1800s, a young Englishman traveled to California in search of gold. After several months of
prospecting, he struck it rich. On his way home, he stopped in New Orleans.
Not long into his visit, he came upon a crowd of people all looking in the same direction. Approaching the crowd,
he recognized that they had gathered for a slave auction. Slavery had been outlawed in England for years, so this
young man’s curiosity drew him to watch as a person became someone else’s property. He heard “Sold!” just as
he joined the crowd. A middle-aged black man was taken away.
Next a beautiful young black girl was pushed up onto the platform and made to walk around so everyone could see
her. The miner heard vile jokes and comments that spoke of evil intentions from those around him. Men were
laughing as their eyes remained fixed on this new item for sale.
The bidding began.
Within a minute, the bids surpassed what most slave owners would pay for a black girl. As the bidding continued
higher and higher, it was apparent that two men wanted her. In between their bids, they laughed about what they
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were going to do with her, and how the other one would miss out. The miner stood silent as anger welled up inside
of him. Finally, one man bid a price that was beyond the reach of the other. The girl looked down. The auctioneer
called out, “Going once! Going twice!”
Just before the final call, the miner yelled out a price that was exactly twice the previous bid. An amount that
exceeded the worth of any man. The crowd laughed, thinking that the miner was only joking, wishing that he
could have the girl himself. The auctioneer motioned to the miner to come and show his money. The miner opened
up the bag of gold he had brought for the trip. The auctioneer shook his head in disbelief as he waved the girl over
to him.
The girl walked down the steps of the platform until she was eye-to-eye with the miner.
She spat straight in his face and said through clenched teeth, “I hate you!” The miner, without a word, wiped his
face, paid the auctioneer, took the girl by the hand, and walked away from the still-laughing crowd.
He seemed to be looking for something in particular as they walked up one street and down another. Finally he
stopped in front of some sort of store, though the slave girl did not know what type of store it was. She waited
outside as the dirty-faced miner went inside and started talking to an elderly man. She couldn’t make out what
they were talking about. At one point the voices got louder, and she overheard the store clerk say, “But it’s the
law! It’s the law!” Peering in, she saw the miner pull out his bag of gold and pour what was left of it on the table.
With what seemed like a look of disgust, the clerk picked up the gold and went in a back room. He came out with
a piece of paper, and both he and the miner signed it.
The young girl looked away as the miner came out the door. Stretching out his hand, he said to the girl, “Here are
your manumission papers. You are free.” The girl did not look up.
He tried again. “Here. These are papers that say you are free. Take them.”
“I hate you!” the girl said, refusing to look up. “Why do you make fun of me!”
“No, listen,” he pleaded. “These are your freedom papers. You are a free person.”
The girl looked at the papers, then looked at him, and looked at the papers once again.
“You just bought me...and now, you’re setting me free?”
“That’s why I bought you. I bought you to set you free.”
The beautiful young girl fell to her knees in front of the miner, tears streaming down her face. “You bought me to
set me free! You bought me to set me free!” she said over and over.
The miner said nothing.
Clutching his muddy boots, the girl looked up at the miner and said, “All I want to do is to serve you—because
you bought me to set me free!”
At one time we were all slaves to sin and to death. But Christ came to redeem us—to pay for our freedom. He
bought us with his own blood, that we might be free. “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as
silver or gold that you were redeemed…but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect”
(1 Peter 1:18-19).
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Clever Hans
In the early 1900s, a German named Herr von Osten trained his horse Hans to count by tapping his front hoof. Apparently
Hans was a quick learner, because von Osten soon had him performing amazing feats in front of paying audiences.
Hans demonstrated a talent for adding, subtracting, dividing, and performing complex mathematical calculations. He was
even able to count the number of people in a room or the number of people wearing eyeglasses.
As his fame grew, he became known as Clever Hans, the smartest horse in the world. But there were doubters. Some
accused von Osten of deceiving the public by using trickery and sleight of hand to make money. They demanded proof of
Hans’ mathematical abilities.
The first test the doubters came up with involved calculating numbers that were randomly selected on stage by people
other than von Osten. Using his hoof, Hans pounded out the correct answers every time. Some of the doubters started to
believe that the horse was indeed a mathematical genius.
Then came the second test. In this one, one person whispered a number in Hans’s left ear and another person whispered a
number in his right ear. Hans was told to add the two numbers and pound out the sum. He couldn’t do it.
On further investigation, it was found that Hans could solve problems only if someone he could see knew the answer.
When Hans was given numbers and asked to compute them, spectators leaned forward and tensed their bodies as Hans
began tapping his hoof. When Hans had tapped the correct number, onlookers relaxed their body postures and nodded
their heads, which was Hans’s signal to stop tapping. Hans was indeed clever—not because he could calculate, but
because he could read human body language!
Clever Hans could figure out the correct answers to complex mathematical equations simply by watching people. If
someone were watching you that closely, what would they discover? Specifically, what would they discover about
following Christ?
You don’t have to say a word about following Christ to let people know what kind of difference he’s made in your life.
All you have to do is live. As St. Francis of Assisi once said: “Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.”
Our actions, body language, and nonverbal communication often do the talking for us. And when our actions contradict
our words, our actions win out every time.
The question has been asked, “If you were arrested for being a follower of Jesus, would there be enough evidence to
convict you?” Sadly, many Christians betray Jesus not with their words but with their disobedience.
Desert Pete
Many years ago, a weary traveler hiked for miles across the desert with the hot sun beating down on his back. His water
supply was gone, and he knew that if he didn’t find water soon to quench his thirst, he would surely die.
In the distance, he spotted a deserted cabin which brought hope that maybe water was to be found there. He made his way
to the cabin and discovered an old well. He frantically pumped the handle of the well to draw water, but all that came from
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the pump was dust.
Then he noticed a tin can tied to the pump, with a note inside. The note said:
Dear stranger:
This pump is all right as of June 1932. I put a new sucker washer in it, and it should last for quite a
few years. But the washer dries out and the pump needs to be primed. Under the white rock, I buried
a jar of water, out of the sun and corked up. There’s enough water in it to prime the pump, but not if
you drink some first. Pour about 1/4 of the water into the pump and let her soak for a minute to wet
the leather washer. Then pour the rest medium fast and pump hard. You’ll get water. Have faith.
This well has never run dry.
When you get watered up, fill the bottle and put it back as you found it for the next stranger who
comes this way.
Pete
Would you have faith to pour the jar of water into the well as the note instructed?
Jesus said, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39). The
same principle applies here. If you live your life selfishly, you will surely die. But if you give yourself away (“lose your
life” for the sake of the Gospel) you will live. Your thirst for happiness and fulfillment will be met.
In his note, Desert Pete wrote, “This well has never run dry.” Likewise, God is faithful and his promises are true. He has
never failed those who have trusted him.
The Emperor’s Seeds
Once there was an emperor in the Far East who was growing old and knew it was coming time to choose his
successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or one of his own children, he decided to do something
different.
He called all the young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, “It has come time for me to step down
and to choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you.” The kids were shocked! But the emperor
continued. “I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One seed. It is a very special seed. I want you to go
home, plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from this one
seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring to me, and the one I choose will be the next emperor of the
kingdom!”
There was one boy named Ling who was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home
and excitedly told his mother the whole story. She helped him get a pot and some planting soil, and he planted
the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three
weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Ling kept going home and checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went
by. Still nothing. By now all the others were talking about their plants but Ling didn’t have a plant, and he felt
like a failure. Six months went by—still nothing in Ling’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone
else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn’t say anything to his friends, however. He just kept
waiting for his seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling
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told his mother that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she encouraged him to go, and to take his pot, and
to be honest about what happened. Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right. He took his
empty pot to the palace.
When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by all the other youths. They were beautiful—
in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kids laughed at him. A few felt
sorry for him and just said, “Hey, nice try.”
When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the
back. “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,” said the emperor. “Today, one of you will be
appointed the next emperor!”
All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to
bring him to the front. Ling was terrified. “The emperor knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!”
When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. “My name is Ling,” he replied. All the kids were
laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then
announced to the crowd, “Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!”
Ling couldn’t believe it. Ling couldn’t even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?
Then the emperor said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it,
water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds which would not grow. All of you, except
Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you
substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me
a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!”
“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it
dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this
world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:24-25). This Scripture reminds us that the person who is willing to
take less now will receive more later. By “dying” to ourselves now, we live forever.
Jesus said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does
the will of my Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21). It’s not enough to just look like a Christian on the
outside. Jesus wants us to be genuine.
The Inheritance
Two old friends bumped into one another on the street one day. One man looked very sad and discouraged, almost on
the verge of tears. His friend asked, “What has the world done to you, my old friend?”
The sad fellow said, “Three weeks ago, a rich uncle of mine died. To my surprise, he included me in his will. His
lawyers sent me a check for $40,000!”
“That’s terrific,” said the friend. “That’s a lot of money.”
“Yes, but two weeks ago, they sent me another check—this time for $100,000!”
“Wow, that’s incredible!” said the friend. “You’ve really been blessed!”
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“You don’t understand,” the man whined. “Last week I got another check in the mail that was larger than the first two.
It was for a quarter of a million dollars!”
The friend was getting very confused. “You’re right, I don’t understand. Why then are you so unhappy? Why do you
look so glum?”
“Because this week I haven’t received anything,” came the reply.
Sometimes we are so blessed that we begin to think we’re entitled to all the good things that come our way. Perhaps
it’s human nature. If you give a small child a gift, he’ll treasure it. But if you give him two gifts, he’ll might wonder
why he didn’t get a third.
What happens when you lose things you’ve come to expect? What happens when there’s a power outage and you can’t
watch TV or operate your hair dryer? What happens when you get sick and can’t do some of the things that you’d
planned? If you’re like most people, you probably become resentful and angry. You don’t realize that the things you
have are privileges, not rights. They are the blessings from God.
None of us deserves the things we have. We live very comfortably while people all over the world suffer. We take for
granted things that other people have never experienced. Yet we still feel like we don’t have enough. We want more.
And we aren’t very grateful for what we do have.
That’s why it’s important for us to practice an attitude of gratitude. We need to take time every day to thank God for
the blessings he has given us (Colossians 3:15). When you’re thankful for what you have, you’ll be able to live every
day with joy—whether you get more or not!
The Lifesaving Station
On a dangerous seacoast where shipwrecks often occur, there was once a crude little lifesaving station. The
building was no more than a hut, and there was only one boat; but the few devoted members kept a constant
watch over the sea. With no thought for themselves, they went out day and night, tirelessly searching for the
lost. Some of those who were saved, and various others in the surrounding area, wanted to be associated with
the station and give their time, money, and effort to support the work. New boats were bought and new crews
trained. The little lifesaving station grew.
Some of these new members of the lifesaving station were unhappy that the building was so crude and poorly
equipped. They felt that a more comfortable place should be provided as the first refuge of those who were
saved from the sea. They replaced the emergency cots with beds and put better furniture in the enlarged
building. Now the lifesaving station became a popular gathering place for its members, and they decorated it
beautifully and furnished it exquisitely because they used it as sort of a club. Fewer members were now
interested in going to sea on lifesaving missions, so they hired lifeboat crews to do this work. The lifesaving
motif still prevailed in this club’s decoration, and there was a memorial lifeboat in the room where the club
initiations were held.
About this time a large ship was wrecked off the coast, and the hired crews brought in boatloads of cold, wet,
half-drowned people. They were dirty and sick, and some of them were foreigners. The beautiful new club was
in chaos. Immediately, the property committee hired someone to rig up a shower house outside the club, where
victims of shipwrecks could be cleaned up before coming inside.
At the next meeting, there was a split in the club membership. Most of the members wanted to stop the club’s
lifesaving activities because they felt they were unpleasant and a hindrance to the normal social life of the club.
A small number of members insisted upon lifesaving as their primary purpose and pointed out that they were
still called a lifesaving station. The small group’s members were voted down and told that if they wanted to
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save lives, they could begin their own lifesaving station down the coast.
They did.
As the years went by, however, the new station experienced the same changes that had occurred in the old
station. It evolved into a club, and yet another lifesaving station was founded. History continued to repeat itself,
and if you visit that seacoast today, you will find a number of exclusive clubs along that shore.
Shipwrecks are frequent in those waters, but most of the passengers drown.
As disciples of Jesus, our primary task is to go and make disciples. (See Matthew 28:19.) To put it another
way, we are to go and save lives. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget our purpose. We need to recover our
passion for lifesaving. We need to be doers of the Word and not hearers only. (See James 1:22).
A Night in the Haunted House
(As you tell this story, embellish it with as many creative details as you wish.)
One spooky Halloween night, a young man approached an old, abandoned house at the end of a
deserted cul-de-sac. His friends had dared him to spend the night in this house that everyone believed
was haunted. Tales of hauntings had been embellished over the years as kids repeated them at campfires
and on late-night excursions. Whenever there was a full moon, they had heard, the three previous
owners of the house, who had allegedly died gruesome and painful deaths, walked about inside the
house, moaning out their anguish and plotting their revenge on the living.
That Halloween night, the young man cringed to see that the moon was indeed full.
Clutching his father’s shotgun a little more tightly, he slung his bedroll and canteen through a broken
window and entered the house. Finding his way through cobwebs and trash to the master bedroom, he
laid out his bedroll next to the fireplace in the very spot where the owners gasped their last, terrified
breaths.
Several hours passed, but he was unable to sleep. He had a strange feeling that someone else was in the
house with him. He felt for his shotgun at his side. The reassurance was small compared to his growing
sense that he was not alone.
At midnight he heard what sounded like footsteps. A few minutes later, he thought he heard something
scratching on the walls. Who or what could it be? Forcing his panic down, he waited until the sounds
stopped. The silence was no comfort, however, and as he grew more and more anxious, he began to
sweat. Within a few minutes the scratching sound returned and was followed by a low, anguished
moan. Ooooohhhhhhh.
Slowly and silently he lifted the shotgun from beside the bedroll. Clutching the gun tightly in his hands,
he strained to see through the darkness what had caused him such mortal fear. The boarded up windows
kept out all but the faintest reminder of moonlight.
Suddenly he saw them. Staring back at him from the foot of his bedroll were two hideous-looking eyes.
Slowly he raised the barrel of the shotgun and tried to steady it with his trembling hands. BANG! (If
you shout this, followed by a loud scream, the effect is great.)
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What happened?
He accidentally shot off his big toe.
Darkness keeps us from seeing clearly. Walking in the dark, it’s easy to stumble and fall, to make bad
decisions. We can end up shooting off our own toes.
Christ warned us about walking in darkness (Matthew 6:23), and offered to give us the light that we
need. “I am the light of the world,” he said. “Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will
have the light of life” (John 8:12). Christians are called to walk in the light, not in darkness.
The Painting of the Last Supper
Leonardo da Vinci painted the fresco “The Last Supper” in a church in Milan. Two very interesting
stories are associated with this painting.
Story 1
At the time that Leonardo da Vinci painted “The Last Supper,” he had an enemy who was a fellow
painter. Da Vinci had had a bitter argument with this man and despised him. When Da Vinci painted
the face of Judas Iscariot at the table with Jesus, he used the face of his enemy so that it would be
present for ages as the man who betrayed Jesus. He took delight while painting this picture in knowing
that others would actually notice the face of his enemy on Judas.
As he worked on the faces of the other disciples, he often tried to paint the face of Jesus, but couldn’t
make any progress. Da Vinci felt frustrated and confused. In time he realized what was wrong. His
hatred for the other painter was holding him back from finishing the face of Jesus. Only after making
peace with his fellow painter and repainting the face of Judas was he able to paint the face of Jesus
and complete his masterpiece.
Story 2
One of the reasons the painting took four years to complete was that when Da Vinci was almost
finished, a friend commented on how incredibly moving the painting was—especially the silver cup
on the table. “It was brilliant, beautiful!” he said. “My eyes were immediately drawn to it.” Da Vinci
got so angry that he immediately painted over the cup, blotting it out. The focus of the painting was to
be Jesus, not the cup. All attention had to be drawn to Him; anything that detracted from him had to be
removed.
Story 1
One of the reasons we may have a hard time accepting the forgiveness of God is that we find it hard to
forgive others. That’s why Jesus said, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14-15). If you want your relationship with Jesus to be all
that it should be, forgive your enemies and do all you can to demonstrate Christ’s love to them.
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Story 2
What is the focus of your life? We need to remove anything that comes before Christ or hinders us
from serving him. Christ must be the center of our lives. (See Philippians 1:21.)
Radical Faith
The following letter was written by a young pastor in Zimbabwe who was later martyred for his faith:
I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the
line. The decision has been made—I’m a disciple of his. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My
past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking,
smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first,
tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on his presence, walk by patience, am uplifted
by prayer, and labor with power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my
Guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or
delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity,
or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of
Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must keep going until he comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until
he stops me. And, when he comes for his own, he will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.
Following Christ is not about joining a church or going to youth group activities or listening to Christian music. It’s not
about wearing Jesus on your T-shirt; it’s about being willing to put your life on the line for him. The decision to follow
Christ is radical, unequivocal, and unmistakable.
How committed to Jesus are you? Will he recognize you as one of his one when he returns?
The Reverse Thread
“We’ll be out until 10:30,” said Chad’s parents as their friends, the Petersons, came by to pick them up for
banquet. “While we’re gone, stay home and finish your history paper.”
“Can’t I use the car for just a little while?” asked Chad. He had gotten his driver’s license just last month. “Um, I
need to borrow a book from Todd. I’ll only be gone a while.”
“Absolutely not,” warned Chad’s father. “You have all the books you need for tonight. You stay home and work
on that paper.”
Darn. Chad really wanted to get together with his friends while his parents were gone. After all, his parents
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weren’t using the car, so why shouldn’t he be able to? It didn’t seem fair. He only wanted to be out for an hour or
so. There would still be time to work on his history paper, he reasoned.
The phone rang. It was Todd. “Hey, come on over,” he said. “All the guys are here.”
Chad decided that he could go to Todd’s and get back early enough so that his parents would never know. He just
had to be sure to put some gas in the car so nothing would look suspicious. He could work fast on his history
paper when he returned.
He got in the car and took off. No one would ever be the wiser, he thought. On the way to Todd’s, however,
disaster struck. He had a flat tire. Oh great, he thought. He had never changed a tire before. Now he was going to
have to not only change a tire, but also get it repaired quickly so that his parents would never find out. He needed
to hurry.
He got out the tire jack and the wrench and went to work. But somehow all of the lug nuts on the wheel were
stuck. He couldn’t get the tire off. He turned the wrench as hard as he could, but to no avail. After what seemed
like hours of trying to the nuts off, he finally gave up and walked to the nearest gas station. He was exhausted.
It was after ten o’clock when the gas station attendant finally put the hydraulic wrench on the lug nuts and
removed the tire. Chad couldn’t believe it. Why couldn’t he get those nuts off? Why were they on there so tight?
Life wasn’t fair! Now he was going to be put on restriction for the rest of his life!
“Which way were you turning them?” asked the gas station attendant. Chad thought it was a stupid question. Of
course he knew how to unscrew a nut. You turn it counterclockwise. “Well,” said the attendant, “the threads on
this side of the car are reversed. To get them off, you turn them clockwise.”
Suddenly Chad felt like a fool.
A lot of people in the world today have a difficult time finding happiness and fulfillment in life because they are
going about it in the wrong way. They are like Chad, turning the nut in the wrong direction—it only gets tighter.
Life doesn’t get better; it gets worse.
The life that Jesus teaches us to live is like a reverse thread—it’s just the opposite of what people think. The
world says, “Get all you can!” Jesus says, “Give and it shall be given unto you.” The world says, “Only the strong
and powerful survive!” Jesus says, “The meek will inherit the earth.” The world says, “If someone hurts you, get
even!” Jesus says, “Turn the other cheek. Do good to those who treat you badly.”
Which way are you turning the wrench? Don’t be a fool.
FAILURE
The Greatest Hitter in the World
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his
baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” he announced. Then he
tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. “Strike One!” he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up
the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball into the air. When it
came down, he swung again and missed. “Strike Two!” he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed
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them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!”
Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. “Strike Three! Wow!” the boy
exclaimed. “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”
Your attitude determines how circumstances impact your life. The little boy’s circumstances hadn’t
changed, but his optimistic attitude prompted him to give an encouraging meaning to what had
happened.
What difficult time are you going through right now? Can you do something to change it? If you can,
don’t wait another day—make the needed changes. If you can’t change the circumstance, however,
change your attitude—you’ll discover that circumstances won’t have the last word.
The Little River
This story is attributed to the late Henri Nouwen.
Once upon a time there was a little river that said, “I can become a big river.” It worked hard to get big, but in the
process, encountered a huge rock. “I won’t let this rock stop me,” the river said. And the little river pushed and
pushed until it finally made its way around the rock.
Next the river encountered a mountain. “I won’t let this mountain stop me,” the river said. And the little river pushed
and pushed until it finally carved a canyon through the mountain.
Next the river came to an enormous forest. “I won’t let all these trees stop me,” the river said. And the river pushed
and pushed until it finally made its way through the forest.
The river, now large and powerful, finally arrived at the edge of a vast desert. “I won’t let this desert stop me,” the
river said.
But as the river pushed and pushed its way across the desert, the hot sand began soaking up its water until only a few
puddles remained.
The river was quiet.
Then the river heard a voice from above. “My child, stop pushing. It’s time to surrender. Let me lift you up. Let me
take over.”
The river said, “Here I am.”
The sun then lifted the river up and turned it into a huge cloud. And the wind carried the river across the desert and let
it rain down on the hills and valleys of the faraway fields, making them fruitful and rich.
Ambition and determination are wonderful attributes, but, apart from God, they won’t get you very far. When you’re
young, you tend to feel invincible. You think you can accomplish almost anything on your own. Who needs God?
But what will you do when you get to the desert? There’s one up ahead, you know. There will come a time when the
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heat will be intense, and you won’t know what to do. You won’t have the strength or the resources to make it through.
Your desert may contain failure, rejection, disappointment, or loss. What will you do then?
When your desert comes, you may not have the opportunity to hear the voice of God saying, “It’s time to surrender.”
But you can hear him now. He wants you to stop pushing and give your life to him today. He wants to lift you up and
make you fruitful for him in ways you never imagined. Can you hear him?
Sparky, the Loser
Once upon a time, there was a little boy the other children called “Sparky,” after a comic strip horse named
Sparkplug. Even though the boy hated that nickname, he could never shake it.
School was difficult for Sparky. He failed every subject in the eighth grade. He flunked physics in high school. In
fact, he still holds the school record for being the worst physics student in the school’s history. He also flunked
Latin, algebra, and English. He didn’t do much better in sports. He made the school’s golf team, but his poor play
ended up costing his team the championship.
Throughout his youth, Sparky was a loser socially. Not that he was actively disliked by other kids—it’s just that
nobody paid much attention to him. He was astonished if a classmate even said hello outside of school. He never
dated or even asked a girl out. He was afraid of being turned down. Sparky didn’t let being a loser bother him that
much; he just decided to make it through life the best he could and not worry about what other people thought of
him.
Sparky did, however, have a hobby. He loved cartoons, and he liked drawing his own cartoons. No one else thought
they were any good, however. When he was a senior in high school, he submitted some cartoons to the school
yearbook and they were rejected. Sparky kept drawing anyway.
Sparky dreamed about being an artist for Walt Disney. After graduating from high school, he wrote a letter to Walt
Disney Studios inquiring about job opportunities. He received a form letter requesting samples of his artwork. The
form letter asked him to draw a funny cartoon of “a man repairing a clock by shoveling the springs and gears back
inside it.”
Sparky drew the cartoon and mailed it off with some of his other work to Disney studios. He waited and waited for a
reply. Finally the reply came—another form letter telling him that there was no job for him.
Sparky was disappointed but not surprised. He had always been a loser, and this was just one more loss. In a weird
way, he thought, his life was kind of funny. He tried telling his own life story in cartoons—a childhood full of the
misadventures of a little boy loser, a chronic underachiever. This cartoon character has now become known by the
whole world. The boy who failed the eighth grade, the young artist whose work was rejected not only by Walt
Disney Studios but by his own high school yearbook, was Charles Monroe “Sparky” Schultz—creator of the
“Peanuts” comic strip and the little boy loser whose kite never flies: Charlie Brown.
We have all experienced rejection and failure in life, but God has gifted each one of us with unique talents and
abilities that enable us to make a significant contribution to the world. What are your gifts? Unless you attempt to
use them, you will never discover how God prepared you to contribute. We need to be like the little boy in Scripture
who offered Jesus his lunch—Jesus in turn used it to feed a multitude. (See John 6:9.)
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Wrong Way Riegels
On New Year’s Day, 1929, Georgia Tech played UCLA in the Rose Bowl. In that game a UCLA player named
Roy Riegels recovered a fumble, but somehow got confused and started running in the wrong direction down the
field. He ran sixty-five yards before one of his teammates, Benny Lom, tackled him just in front of the goal line—
otherwise Riegels could have scored a safety for the opposing team. UCLA was unable to move the ball from that
point in the game. Georgia Tech blocked the punt and scored a safety on the play.
Since that strange play happened in the first half, everyone watching the game was asking the same question:
“What will coach Nibbs Price do with Roy Riegels in the second half?” The players filed off the field, went into
the dressing room, and sat down on the benches and the floor—all except Riegels. He put his blanket around his
shoulders, sat down in a corner, put his face in his hands, and cried like a baby.
A coach usually has a great deal to say to his team during halftime, but that day, Coach Price was quiet. No doubt
he was trying to decide what to do with Riegels. Then the timekeeper came in and announced that there were only
three minutes till play time. Price looked at the team and said simply, “Men, the same team that played the first
half will start the second.”
The players got up and started out—all but Riegels. He didn’t budge. The coach looked back and called to him
again; still he didn’t move. Coach Price went over to where Riegels sat and said, “Roy, didn’t you hear me? The
same team that played the first half will start the second.” Then Roy Riegels looked up and Price saw that his
cheeks were wet with a strong man’s tears.
“Coach,” he said, “I can’t do it to save my life. I’ve ruined you. I’ve ruined the University of California. I’ve
ruined myself. I couldn’t face that crowd in the stadium to save my life.”
Then Coach Price put his hand on Riegels’ shoulder and said, “Roy, get up and go on back. The game is only half
over.” And Roy Riegels went back, and those Georgia Tech players will tell you they have never seen a man play
football as Roy Riegels did in that second half.
(From “A Little Phrase for Losers” by Haddon Robinson in Christianity Today, Oct. 26, 1992.)
The grace of God is like Roy’s coach. At times we feel as if we’ve messed up so badly that we want to give up
and throw in the towel. God doesn’t give up on us, though. He says, “Get up and get on out there. The game isn’t
over yet.” The Gospel of the grace of God is the Gospel of the second chance, and the third chance, and the
hundredth chance. We fumble the ball continually, but God never tosses us out of the game. He just keeps
cheering us on.
FAITH
Chip and Dale’s Big Push
Disney’s Chip and Dale always get the best of Donald Duck. In one cartoon those pesky chipmunks are
taunting him from their little tree hole about fifteen feet above the ground. Putting on some spiked shoes,
Donald Duck attempts to climb up the tree. Fuming and muttering, he reaches the hole. In a flash Chip and
Dale untie his shoes, and he falls to the ground.
Next he tries using a ladder. When he reaches the top, though, Chip and Dale push the ladder over, and
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Donald tumbles down. For his third assault on the tree he straps a rocket on his back and launches toward
the top of the tree. No use. Chip and Dale jolt the rocket off course, and it crashes with Donald Duck still
attached..
Finally, Donald Duck decides to chop the tree down. With steam coming out of his ears he snatches a big ax
and starts swinging. Every time the ax hits the tree, Chip and Dale shake in their perch. In agitated chatter
they wonder how to save themselves this time.
Meanwhile, the tree begins to fall, and Donald Duck quacks with glee, certain of his success. Then, for no
apparent reason, the tree not only stops falling, but it begins to right itself again. A furious Donald circles
the tree trying to figure out the reason why.
The cartoonist reveals it all. Inside the hollow tree trunk, Chip and Dale are pushing with all their might to
upright the tree.
We laugh because it’s physically impossible to push a tree up from inside the tree. You’ve got to brace
yourself against something.
Then again, perhaps Chip and Dale did have something to brace themselves against—their desire to survive.
At one or more times in your life, you will have nothing to lean against or rely upon except your faith in
God and your desire to survive. That’s when God is able to do the impossible.
Get a Bigger Frying Pan
Two men went fishing. One man was an experienced fisherman; the other wasn’t. Everytime the experienced
fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman
caught a big fish, he threw it back.
The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing this man waste good
fish. “Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?” he asked.
The inexperienced fisherman replied, “I only have a small frying pan.”
Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throw back the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, big opportunities that God
gives us. Our faith is too small. We laugh at that fisherman who didn’t figure out that all he needed was a
bigger frying pan; yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith?
Whether it’s a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That
means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way. You can do all things through Christ.
(Philippians 4:13)
Nothing is too big for God.
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Help Is on the Way
One year there was a terrible flood that deluged a small midwestern town located in a valley between two rivers.
Both rivers had overflowed their banks and the rains continued to fall day and night. There was no relief in sight as
the town slowly but surely was being flooded. Everyone was evacuated, except for one old man who refused to
leave his house—which would soon become completely submerged.
“I have faith that God will save me,” the old man shouted at everyone who implored him to leave and flee to
higher ground. The man believed in the power of prayer, and he trusted that God would somehow save him.
As the water covered the roads, making them impassable for cars, a man in a four-wheel-drive truck stopped at the
old man’s house and banged on the door. “Hurry,” he cried out. “Come with me and I’ll drive you to safety! You
haven’t much time!” But the old man continued to pray. He would not leave his house.
Within hours, the water had risen several feet, completely flooding his home. The rain continued. The old man
climbed up on the kitchen table and continued to pray. As the water was lapping at his heels, a man in a rowboat
paddled up to the old man’s kitchen window and shouted, “Sir, get in my boat! I’ll take you to safety!”
“No,” the old man shouted back. “God will deliver me from this flood!”
The water got deeper and soon the old man had no choice but to climb up on his roof. The torrential rains
persisted. While he was praying, he heard the chop-chop-chop of a helicopter in the sky. He looked up and saw the
helicopter hovering over his house. A ladder had been lowered for him to climb.
“Go away,” yelled the man at the helicopter. “You will blow me off my roof! God is going to save me! You go
save someone else!”
The helicopter couldn’t wait forever, so it left the old man on his rooftop, still praying. Eventually, the water
engulfed the house and the old man perished in the flood.
When the old man arrived at the gates of heaven, he asked Saint Peter if he could have a talk with God. Peter took
him to the throne of grace.
“Oh Lord, I prayed earnestly for the rains to stop and for your deliverance from the flood. But you left me there to
drown. I don’t understand!”
“My child, I heard your prayers. I sent you a four-wheel-drive truck, a rowboat, and a helicopter. Why did you
send them away?”
God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we expect. But he does answer. To have faith and trust in God
means that we recognize his activity in our circumstances, regardless of how hopeless they seem. In our eyes,
things may look like they are getting worse and that God has abandoned us. But God sees the big picture and we
can trust that he will never leave us nor forsake us. He is at work, even when we don’t realize it. “And we know
that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”
(Romans 8:28).
We also need to remember that God works through ordinary people like you and me. Just like the rescuers in the
story, when we offer help or an act of kindness to someone else, we may very well be an answer to their prayers.
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The Prince of Grenada
The prince of Grenada, an heir to the Spanish crown, was sentenced to life in solitary confinement in Madrid’s
ancient prison called “The Place of the Skull.” The fearful, dirty, and dreary nature of the place earned it the
name. Everyone knew that once you were in, you would never come out alive. The prince was given one book
to read the entire time—the Bible. With only one book to read, he read it over hundreds and hundreds of times.
The book became his constant companion.
After thirty-three years of imprisonment, he died. When they came in to clean out his cell, they found some
notes he had written using nails to mark the soft stone of the prison walls. The notations were of this sort:
Psalm 118:8 is the middle verse of the Bible; Ezra 7:21 contains all the letters of the alphabet except the letter j;
the ninth verse of the eighth chapter of Esther is the longest verse in the Bible; no word or name of more than
six syllables can be found in the Bible.
When Scot Udell originally noted these facts in an article in Psychology Today, he noted the oddity of an
individual who spent thirty-three years of his life studying what some have described as the greatest book of all
time yet could only glean trivia. From all we know, he never made any religious or spiritual commitment to
Christ, but he became an expert at Bible trivia.
What kind of faith do you have? Is it anything like the faith of the prince of Grenada? There’s a difference
between knowing facts about God, Jesus Christ, and the Bible, and allowing God to change you from the inside
out. Many people grow up knowing a lot about Christianity but never have entrusted their lives to Christ. Have
you?
True or False?
On the Internet, there is a news group in which readers post “urban myths” and discuss whether or not they are true,
false or unanswerable. Below are some of the myths that have been discussed on the Internet and conclusions that have
been drawn about them. What do you think? Are they true or false?
1. A penny dropped from the top of the Empire State Building will embed itself in the pavement. (false)
2. The bubbles in bubble-wrap (the packing material) contain a toxic gas. (false)
3. You can send a coconut through the mail without wrapping it. (true)
4. If the entire population of China jumped up and down at the same time, the earth’s orbit would be disturbed. (false)
5. Welding while wearing contact lenses will cause the lenses to stick to your eyeballs. (false)
6. Unless marked “dairy,” fast-food shakes aren’t milk, but mostly carrageen gel. (true)
7. If your college roommate commits suicide, you get automatic ‘A’s in all your courses. (false)
8. A woman was impregnated by swimming in a pool with loose sperm. (false)
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9. Koalas are always stoned (drunk) from ingesting the alcohol in eucalyptus leaves. (false)
10. Albert Einstein did poorly in school. (false)
11. A woman adopted a stray dog in Tijuana, Mexico, and later discovered it was a sewer rat. (false)
12. Some Oregon highway workers blew up a whale and showered the town with whale blubber. (true)
13. Some people like to eat the placenta of their newborn children. (true)
14. A mime had a heart attack during his act. The audience thought it was part of the act and did nothing. He died.
(false)
15. Bubble Yum bubble gum is made with spider eggs. (false)
16. You can tell if a big operation is under way at the White House by the level of pizza orders that come from there.
(false)
In today’s world, it’s hard sometimes to determine the true from the false. Some things sound true, but they are only
myths. Other things seem hard to believe, but they are absolutely true. And many times, there’s no way to know which
is which.
Myths come and go. But truth endures forever. That’s one reason the Word of God has survived for thousands of years.
No other document has stood the test of time like the Holy Bible. Generation after generation has found that God’s
Word is true. It can be trusted.
You’re Not a Monk
A traveler’s car broke down near a monastery late one night. With no place else to go, he walked to the monastery
and explained his situation. The monks graciously invited him to spend the night, gave him something warm to
drink, and even repaired his car.
During the night, the man heard a strange sound. The next morning, he asked the monks about it.
“We can’t tell you, you’re not a monk,” they replied.
The man was disappointed, but thanked them for their hospitality and went on his way.
Some years later, the same traveler had car problems in front of the same monastery. Once again, the monks were
happy to give him a place to stay, feed him, and fix his car.
And during the night, he heard the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asked again, “What was that noise I heard during the night?”
The monks replied, “We can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.”
The traveler said, “All these years I’ve wondered about that sound. I’m dying to know what it is. So how do I
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become a monk?”
The monks explained, “First, you must travel the earth and learn to speak the language of every culture and tribe
that exists in the world. Then you must do one kind deed for every man, woman, and child on the planet. Finally,
you must climb to the top of the highest mountain and count the number of stars that exist in the heavens. When
you have done all this, you will be well on your way toward becoming a monk.”
Undaunted, the man accepted the task. Some forty-five years later, he returned to the monastery and knocked on
the door. “I have traveled the earth and learned more than six thousand languages. I have performed kind deeds
for nine billion people. I almost froze to death on the highest mountain, where I learned that there are more than
17 trillion stars.”
The monks were amazed. “Congratulations,” they said. “you are very close to being a monk of the highest order.
We shall now take you to the source of the sound.”
They led the man to a wooden door, where one of the monks said, “The sound is right behind that door.”
The man tried to open the door, but it was locked.
“How do I open it?” he asked.
“You must first memorize the Old Testament,” the monks told him.
The man went to his room and, in a matter of just a few months, memorized the entire Old Testament. In return,
he was given the key to the wooden door and taken back to it.
Upon opening the door, he encountered another door made of brass. It was locked. “To receive the key that will
open the brass door,” the monks said, “you must memorize the New Testament.”
Frustrated, the man went back to his room and memorized the New Testament. Within a few months, he had the
key to the brass door. Again the monks accompanied him to the source of the strange sound.
Inside the brass door was yet another door, this one made of gold. It too was locked. The monks said, “This is the
last door. But to receive the key, you must spend one year in the dungeon, with only bread and water to sustain
you.”
The man endured his year in the dungeon. Emaciated and weary, he was once again taken to the source of the
sound. He unlocked the wooden door and the brass door. Then the monks gave him the key to the gold door.
With trembling hands, the man unlocked the door, turned the knob, and opened it. Behind it lay the source of the
sound—and, without a doubt, it was worth all those years of suffering and pain.
Want to know what it was?
Sorry, I can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.
It’s frustrating when people withhold information from us. We want to know everything. Unfortunately, some
things will remain a mystery. For example, we don’t always know why God does what he does or why things
happen that we can’t explain. The Bible describes it as seeing “through a glass, darkly” (1 Corinthians 13:12,
KJV).
The good news is that our questions will be answered in heaven. We just have to be patient.
The better news is that you don’t have to be a monk to get into heaven. You don’t have to jump through
impossible hoops. If you know Jesus and trust him as your Savior, you have the key.
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In the meantime, we must trust God and have confidence that, even though we don’t have all the answers, he does.
FORGIVENESS
All Is Forgiven
In his short story “The Capitol of the World,” Ernest Hemingway tells the story of a Spanish father and his teenage
son. The relationship between this father and son became strained and eventually shattered. When the rebellious son—
whose name was Paco, a common Spanish name—ran away from home, his father began a long and arduous search to
find him. As a last resort, the exhausted father placed an ad in a Madrid newspaper, hoping that his son would see the
ad and respond to it. The ad read,
Dear Paco,
Please meet me in front of the newspaper office at noon. All is forgiven.
Love,
Father
As Hemingway tells the story, the next day at noon, in front of the newspaper office, there were 800 Pacos, all seeking
forgiveness from their fathers.
(From “The Capital of the World” from The Short Stories, Ernest Hemingway, Scribner, 1995.)
Are you like one of those Pacos? Carrying around a load of guilt, wanting forgiveness, but not knowing where to find
it? Your Father in heaven, who loves you very much, has made the first move. Just as Paco’s father ran an ad in the
paper, so God sent his son to die on a Roman cross.
“If I am lifted up,” Jesus said, talking about the cross, “I will draw all people to myself” (John 12:32). And along with
all those Pacos who showed up at the newspaper office, you’re invited to come as well.
Brandon's Mess
There was once a dad who had a three-year-old son named Brandon.
One day, Brandon sees his dad eating chocolate chip cookies in the living room and says to himself, Daddy loves
chocolate chip cookies with milk. So I’m going to give Daddy a glass of milk. With that thought Brandon goes into
the dining room and drags a chair from the dining room into the kitchen, leaving a trail of scratch marks on the floor.
Brandon climbs up on the chair and hitches himself onto the counter to pull at the cabinet door. Wham! It smashes
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against the adjacent cabinet door, leaving a gash where the handle hit it. Brandon reaches for a glass, accidentally
knocking two others off the shelf. Crash! Tinkle, tinkle! But Brandon doesn’t care. He’s thinking, I’m going to get
Daddy some milk!
Meanwhile, Brandon’s dad is watching all this, wondering if he should step in and save the rest of his kitchen. He
decides, for the moment, to watch a little more as Brandon scrambles off the chair, dodging the pieces of broken glass,
and heads for the refrigerator.
Pulling violently on the refrigerator door, Brandon flings it wide open—and it stays open, of course. Brandon puts the
glass on the floor—out of harm’s way, supposedly—and grabs, not the little half-gallon of milk, but the big gallon
container that is full of milk. He rips open the top, pours it in the vicinity of the glass, and even manages to get some
milk in the glass. The rest goes all over the floor.
Finally done, Brandon puts the milk carton on the floor and picks up the glass yelling, “Daddy, I got something for
you!” He runs into the living room, trips, and spills milk all over the place—the floor, the sofa, his dad.
Brandon stands up and looks around. He sees broken glass, milk everywhere, cabinets open, his dad with milk from
his eyebrows to his toes, and starts to cry. Through his tears, he looks up at his dad with that pained expression that
says, “What are you going to do to me?”
His dad only smiles. He doesn’t see a kid that just destroyed his house. Instead he sees a beautiful little boy whom he
loves very much. It doesn’t matter what he’s done. Brandon’s dad stretches his arms out to hold his little boy tight and
says, “This is my son!”
When we talk about God as our Father, the kind of father we’re talking about is Brandon’s father. God is a father who
loves us unconditionally, even though we make a real mess of things. Jesus told a similar story about another son who
messed up. We call the story “The Prodigal Son.” It also could be called “The Parable of the Loving Father” because,
just like Brandon’s dad, the father in the story threw his arms around his son and said, “This is my son!” (See Luke
15:11-32.)
The Hopeless Baseball Game
The last time the San Diego Padres played the San Francisco Giants (substitute your favorite baseball
teams here) at the stadium I took my son to the game, expecting to have a good time. We turned in our
tickets at the gate, bought hot dogs, drinks, peanuts, popcorn, Cracker Jacks, and a program, and sat
down in our seats right on the first-base line. We were all set to watch a good game.
At the top of the first inning, though, the Padres’ pitcher walked a batter. He followed that by walking a
second batter. He hit the third batter with a pitch, loading the bases. He pitched the next batter a home
run—a grand slam. Unfortunately (as we soon discovered), the manager left the pitcher in, and he
proceeded to walk two more players. Finally, the pitcher was replaced with a new guy, and bingo! The
next batter hit a triple, scoring two more runs. By the time the inning was over, the Giants were ahead
seven to zero.
Unable to do anything in the bottom of the first, the Padres quickly returned to the outfield. Things went
from bad to ugly. To make a long story short, before the second inning was over, the score was fourteen
- zip.
The players knew it, and we knew it—the game was over. We hadn’t even had a chance to eat our hot
dogs. Some spectators hadn’t even arrived yet. But the game was over. There was no way the Padres
could come back from fourteen to nothing.
The players looked discouraged. Angry fans were booing and throwing things. People started to leave
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the stadium. What a disaster.
Chomping into my hot dog, I set out on a crazy line of thought: What if by some magic I could return
the game to the score zero to zero—right now in the second inning? With that kind of score, the players
would be hopeful once again. Their optimism would motivate them to play with intensity. The resulting
competition would allow the fans to be happily hoping their team would win. The game would once
again be exciting and interesting—and we could finish eating all this junk food.
Starting the score over in a bad second inning is the way forgiveness works. Forgiveness restores our
hope. Many people feel hopelessly weighed down by sin. Things have gotten out of hand. They’re losing
so badly that they feel their life is as good as over. People who feel that way often take their own lives.
The Gospel does a miraculous thing, though. Even given a hopeless score that clearly shows that Satan
is winning, Jesus is able to make the game zero to zero again. When our sins are forgiven, we have a
clean start; it’s a whole new ball game. Once again we have hope.
An old saying goes, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” That’s only true when you can wipe
away the past and get a fresh start with Christ. You don’t have to be burdened with the sins of the past.
With Jesus, today is the bottom of the first, and you’ve got a brand new pitcher!
A Little Problem
John 1:9).
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The Polish Underground
A fighter in the Polish underground resistance movement from 1939 to 1944, Mr. Stypulkowski was captured
by the Russian army at the end of the war. He and fifteen other Poles were taken to Russia to stand trial for
treason. Since these Polish “double-agents” had in fact helped to defeat the Nazis, the prosecutors had no
evidence that they aided the enemy. The only way to convict them would be to get them to make a full
confession.
Prior to the trial, guards rigorously interrogated the men, attempting to break them mentally, emotionally, and
spiritually—to destroy their integrity—so they would confess to anything demanded of them. Fifteen of the
sixteen men broke under the grueling pressure. Only Stypulkowski held out. He endured 69 out of 70 nights
of brutal questioning in a series of 141 interrogations. At one point even his interrogator had a mental
breakdown and had to be replaced. Relentlessly his tormentors examined everything he had done, or hadn’t
done, to find anything that could be used against him. They found plenty of dirt—Stypulkowski was no
saint—but they were unable to extract a confession for the crimes of which he was being accused.
Starving, sleep-deprived, and in constant terror, Stypulkowski resisted even in the face of the signed
confessions of his best friends blaming him for their trouble. His torturers told him his case was hopeless and
as good as closed. They advised him to plead guilty so they could lessen his sentence; otherwise, he could
expect certain death. But Stypulkowski continued refusing to make the full confession they wanted. He
confidently stated that he had not been a traitor and could not confess to something which was not true.
Throughout all these horrors he kept his Christian faith vital by regular prayer. He subordinated every other
loyalty to his loyalty to Christ. Most impressive of all was the completely natural way that he witnessed to his
faith.
At his trial he pled “not guilty,” expecting to pay for the rebellion with his life. However, mainly because of
the Western observers who attended the trial, the Russians reluctantly dropped the charges against
Stypulkowski and he was freed.
Stypulkowski endured because he daily presented himself to God and to his accusers in absolute honesty.
Knowing he was accepted and loved by God, forgiven and cleansed by his Savior, he freely admitted to all
the wrongdoing his enemies uncovered from his past. “I never felt it necessary to justify myself with
excuses,” he recalls. “When they showed me I was a coward, I already knew it. When they shook their
fingers at me with accusations of filthy, lewd feelings, I already knew it. When they showed me a reflection
of myself with all my inadequacies, I said to them, ‘But gentlemen, I am much worse than that.’ For you see,
I had learned it was unnecessary for me to justify myself; One had already done that for me—Jesus Christ!”
He could freely admit his personal failures because he knew they had all been taken care of at the Cross.
All who have that kind of faith in Jesus Christ are also justified—“we have peace with God through our Lord
Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand” (Romans
5:1-2). Counting on God’s justifying grace, we can find the courage to face the truth about ourselves and
experience healing.
The Tractor Pull
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Tractor pulls are increasing in popularity, thanks to television coverage of many live events around the country. For
the uninitiated, the “tractor” in these events is really more like a rocket with four wheels. Some of these tractors have
multiple engines and are longer than a truck. The tractor-like rear wheels are about the only item on the machine that
resembles an ordinary farm tractor.
These high-powered tractors are hitched to a wedge-shaped trailer that creates greater resistance the farther it is
pulled. The tractor, racing toward the finish line, usually starts out strong in pulling the trailer, but quickly labors and
often stalls under the ever-increasing resistance. The wheels of the tractor often spin so rapidly that the tractor
becomes literally stuck in the mud, spinning its wheels and unable to continue. Only when the trailer is unhitched
from the tractor can the tractor move again—and then perhaps only with assistance.
Sin is the trailer in our lives. The effects of sin may be slight at first, but the longer we carry it and struggle with it,
the more difficult it becomes. The weight of sin eventually causes us to stall. Only God can “unhitch” the sin from
our lives, through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Even Christians can labor from pulling a “sin-trailer,” eventually
becoming bogged down in the effects of sin. Not until that sin is released and Christ assists an individual to begin
again can the Christian continue the race unhindered. “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our
Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57).
When Nothing Goes Right
A young man was learning to be a paratrooper. Before his first jump, he was given these instructions:
1. Jump when you are told.
2. Count to ten and pull the ripcord.
3. In the unlikely event your parachute doesn’t open, pull the emergency ripcord.
4. When you get down, a truck will be there to take you back to the airport.
The young man memorized these instructions and climbed aboard the plane. The plane climbed to ten
thousand feet and the paratroopers began to jump. When the young man was told to jump, he jumped. He
then counted to ten and pulled the ripcord. Nothing happened. His chute failed to open. So he pulled the
emergency ripcord. Still, nothing happened. No parachute.
“Oh great,” said the young man. “And I suppose the truck won’t be there when I get down either!”
Have you ever felt like that young man? Have you had so many failures and disappointments in life that
you just don’t expect anything to go right for you?
Well, unlike the young man in our story, there is hope. In Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven for the failures
of the past and we can start all over. Christianity is sometimes called the “gospel of the second chance”
because our failures never have to be fatal. That’s what the grace of God is all about. Even though our
parachutes fail to open, we can always fall into the loving arms of our heavenly Father.
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GOD
1809
Had you picked up a daily newspaper in 1809, you would have read the big news that Napoleon I, emperor of France, had
conquered Austria at Wagram, annexed the Illyrian Provinces (now part of Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the
Federal Republic of Yugoslavia), and abolished the Papal States.
But in that same year, in France...
Louis Braille, who devised a way for the blind to read, was born.
And in Germany...
Felix Mendelssohn, the great composer of symphonies, was born.
And in England...
William Gladstone, the four-time Prime Minister and the father of public education, was born.
Alfred Lord Tennyson, the poet laureate of Great Britain, was born.
Charles Darwin, the most influential scientist of the nineteenth century, was born.
And in America ...
Edgar Allen Poe, the master poet and storyteller, was born.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, the writer and physician who developed surgical techniques still in use today, was born.
Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the United States, was born.
But at the end of the year 1809, the only event anyone thought to be important was Napoleon’s conquest of Austria. That was
the big news.
Today, who remembers the “big news” of 1809? Hardly anyone. Napoleon’s conquest is just a tiny blip on the big screen of
history. But the world was changed forever by a few seemingly insignificant births which took place that same year.
The year Jesus was born, most people missed it. Only a few were aware of the cosmic implications of his presence in a manger
in Bethlehem.
And so it is with all of God’s work. Most of it is behind the scenes—hardly ever visible. It rarely make headlines; instead it
makes a huge difference in the lives of people because it is eternal.
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Better Not Drop That Egg
“The Easter story is nothing but a myth,” Jimmy's high school science teacher announced to his class a few
days before Easter break. “Jesus not only didn’t rise from the grave,” he continued, “but there's no God in
heaven who would allow his son to be crucified in the first place.”
“Sir, I believe in God,” Jimmy protested. “And I believe in the Resurrection!”
“Jimmy, you can believe what you wish to, of course,” the teacher replied. “However, the real world
excludes the possibility of miraculous events such as the Resurrection. The Resurrection is a scientific
impossibility. No one who believes in miracles can also respect science.”
“God isn't limited by science,” Jimmy responded. “He created science!”
Engaged by Jimmy's outspoken faith, the teacher proposed a scientific experiment. Reaching into a
refrigerator, he produced a raw egg and held it up. “I’m going to drop this egg on the floor,” he stated.
“Gravity will pull it toward the floor with such force that the egg will most certainly break.” Fixing Jimmy
with a look of challenge, he concluded his proposal. “Now Jimmy, I want you to pray a prayer right now
and ask your God to keep this egg from breaking when it hits the floor. If he can do that, then you’ll have
proven your point, and I’ll have to admit that there’s a God.”
After pondering the challenge for a moment, Jimmy slowly stood to pray. “Dear Heavenly Father,” he
began. “I pray that when my teacher drops the egg...it will break into a hundred pieces! And also, Lord, I
pray that when the egg does break, my teacher will have a heart attack and die! Amen.”
After gasping in unison, the stunned class sat in silent expectation.
For a moment the teacher did nothing. At last he looked at Jimmy and then at the egg. Without a word he
carefully put the egg back in the refrigerator. “Class dismissed,” the teacher said and sat down to clear his
desk.
The teacher apparently believed in God more than he thought he did. Many people, like that teacher, deny
that God exists, yet they run from him, question him, and attack him whenever they get the chance. Jimmy
knew God wouldn’t strike his teacher dead, but he also knew that his teacher wouldn’t bet his life on it.
As the old saying goes, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” When your life is on the line, the idea of God
suddenly makes a lot more sense.
The Big Rock
A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his
plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel.
In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox.
The lad dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With no little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged
the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy and the rock was very large.) When the boy got
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the rock to the edge of the sandbox, however, he found that he couldn’t roll it up and over the little wall.
Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock
tipped and then fell back into the sandbox. The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, shoved—but his only reward was
to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of frustration.
All this time the boy’s father watched from the living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell,
a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy’s father. Gently but firmly he said, “Son, why didn’t
you use all the strength that you had available?”
Defeated, the boy sobbed back, “But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had!”
“No, son,” corrected the father kindly. “You didn’t use all the strength you had. You didn’t ask me.”
With that the father reached down, picked up the rock, and removed it from the sandbox.
Do you have “rocks” in your life that need to be removed? Are you discovering that you don’t have what it takes to lift
them? God is always available to us and willing to give us the strength we need to overcome obstacles and to
accomplish great things for him. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).
The Bridge Operator
There once was a man who worked in a small town as the operator of a drawbridge on a river. A train track ran
across the bridge, and the operator’s job was to keep the bridge up when no train was coming so that the boats
could pass underneath. When a train approached, he was to blow the whistle and let down the bridge.
One sunny Saturday morning, the man brought his seven-year-old son along to work with him. The boy could
frolic along the river, skip rocks on the water, chase butterflies, or even try to catch a fish.
Shortly before noon, a passenger train was due to come through the area. The man began to make preparations to
let the bridge down so the train could pass safely across the river. As he examined the bridge, he noticed that
someone—a small child—had somehow climbed over the guardrail next to the bridge, and was playing at the
very spot where the bridge would come down. As he looked closer, he realized with horror that the child was his
son. In desperation, he yelled out his son’s name, but the sound of the approaching train drowned out his
screams. He knew he had to make a quick decision. If he lowered the bridge now his son would die. But if he
didn’t, all the people on the train would die as the train plunged into the river. He barely had time to think.
As he screamed in agony, the man thrust forward the lever to lower the bridge just as the train arrived. His son
died instantly. And as the train passed by, the people just smiled and waved as they passed by the man in the
control booth, with his head bowed low, oblivious to what had just taken place.
(Adapted with permission from “To Sacrifice a Son” by Dennis Hensley.)
Isn’t this what God did for us?
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Inside the Fence
William Barclay has written about a group of soldiers during World War II who had lost a friend in battle and wanted
to give their fallen comrade a decent burial. So they found a church with a graveyard behind it, surrounded by a white
fence. They found the parish priest and asked if their friend could be buried there in the church graveyard.
“Was he Catholic?” the priest inquired.
No, he wasn’t, answered the soldiers.
“I’m sorry, then,” said the priest. “Our graveyard is reserved for members of the holy church. But you can bury your
friend outside the fence. I will see that the gravesite is cared for.”
“Thank you, Father,” said the soldiers, and they proceeded to bury their friend just outside the graveyard on the other
side of the fence.
When the war had finally ended, before the soldiers returned home, they decided to visit the gravesite of their friend.
They remembered the location of the church—and the grave, just outside the fence. They searched for it, but couldn’t
find it. Finally, they went to the priest to inquire as to its location.
“Sir, we cannot find our friend’s grave,” said the soldiers to the priest.
“Well,” answered the priest. “After you buried your fallen friend, it just didn’t seem right to me that he should be
buried there, outside the fence.”
“So you moved his grave?” asked the soldiers.
“No,” said the priest. “I moved the fence.”
That is exactly what God has done for us. We don’t deserve a place “inside the fence.” We don’t deserve to go to
heaven when we die. But God has graciously moved the fence. He sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us so that we
could be included in his forever family. “Now we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom
we have gained access by faith” (Romans 5:1-2).
It’s the Water
The islands around Indonesia are among the most beautiful in the world—crystalline tropical water, beautiful reefs with
fish colored in every hue of the rainbow, powerful waves, and tranquil bays.
Tourists, surfers, and scuba divers from around the world have discovered these hidden jewels and pay large sums of
money to enjoy this unspoiled aquatic playground.
But many of the locals won’t swim. Neither will they dive, surf, wade, bathe, or do anything else that places their bodies
in the warm, inviting water. Their fear of the water is so powerful that even though they are surrounded by ocean and
must sail out in fishing boats for their daily sustenance, hardly any of the islanders ever learned to swim.
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Why do they deny themselves the pleasure of exploring the natural wonders all around them? Because a long time ago,
someone told them a lie. Someone told them that the ocean was full of demons and that swimming in it would bring
harm to themselves and their families. And many Indonesian islanders still believe it.
Just as for centuries those island people have missed out on the joy of frolicking in the surf and exploring their
underwater world, so there are many people today who are missing out on the joy of knowing Christ and walking in
fellowship with God. They believe that God is some kind of cosmic killjoy who wants to take away their fun and make
their lives dull, boring, and utterly miserable.
Nothing could be further from the truth. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see
him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy” (1 Peter 1:8). Jesus came to give the
best life possible, life “to the full” (John 10:10). Don’t believe those who want to deprive you of that.
Jump!
A family was awakened by their smoke detector in the middle of the night to discover that their house was on fire. The father
ran into the upstairs bedroom of his children and carried his eighteen-month-old baby in his arms while dragging his four-yearold son by the hand.
They were halfway down the stairs when the little boy remembered that he had left his teddy bear in the bedroom, so he broke
free from his father’s hand and ran back to the bedroom to retrieve it. In the furor and confusion, the father didn’t notice that his
son wasn’t with him until he got outside. By now the little boy was trapped by the flames and smoke in his second-story
bedroom. Smoke swirled around him and he coughed and cried out from the upstairs window, “Daddy, Daddy! Help me!”
His father yelled from below, “Jump out of the window, Andy! I’ll catch you!”
In the darkness and smoke, the little boy yelled back, “But Daddy! I can’t see you!”
Daddy shouted back, “That’s okay, son. I can see you! Jump!”
There is a true saying that goes, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future.” Do you worry about
the future? Are you afraid of what you can’t see? Does it seem dark and smoky? None of us can see what lies ahead, but God
tells us to trust him and “jump!”
King of the Universe
A doctor at a mental institution was making his rounds one evening when he heard shouting from one of the
cells.
“I am the King of the Universe! I am the Ruler of the World! From now on everyone will do what I say because I
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am the Supreme Commander of the Galaxies!”
The doctor investigated, opening a door to find a man in his skivvies, standing on a chair, beating his chest and
yelling, “I am the King of the Universe!”
“Harry!” interrupted the doctor over the man’s shouting. “Harry, get down off that chair! And quiet down!
You’re disrupting people who are trying to sleep!”
“I am the King of the Universe!”
“Harry, you are not the King of the Universe!”
“Yes, I am!” he cried all the louder.
“And just what makes you think you are King of the Universe?” asked the doctor.
“God told me I was King of the Universe!” shouted Harry.
Just then a voice erupted from another cell down the hallway: “I did not!”
You know the type. They may not exactly claim to be God, but they’re convinced that God has given them the
final word on what’s true and not true, what’s right and what’s wrong. Are they candidates for mental
institutions, or simply deluded? Is ego or ambition a factor? Or is it an understandable need for certainty and firm
answers in a world filled with theories and opinions that are constantly changing?
Melody in F
Feeling footloose and frisky, a featherbrained freshman from Fargo named Fred forced his father to fork over the family
fortune. Feeling free, Fred flew far to fancy foreign fields—finding foolish frivolities, frequent fornication, and fabulous
feasting with faithless friends.
Fred frittered away his father’s fortune, fleeced by his friends in folly. Fully fatigued and facing famine, Fred found
himself a feed-flinger in a filthy farmyard with fungus on his face and a fist full of fresh fragrant fertilizer. “Fooey! What
a fiasco!” the frazzled fugitive forlornly fumbled, frankly facing facts. “My father’s flunkies fare far finer!”
Freezing, frightened, and frustrated by failure, Fred fled forthwith to his Fargo family, filled with fear and foreboding.
Falling at his father’s feet, he forlornly fumbled, “Father, I’ve flunked, and fruitlessly forfeited family favor. Frankly, I’ve
flopped.”
Fortunately for Fred, the farsighted father said, “Fantastic!” and forgetting Fred’s failings, frantically flagged the flunkies
to furnish Fred with fashionable flannel, fetch a fatling from the flock, and fix a feast!
But Fred’s fault-finding brother Farley flew into a fit, frowning on Fred’s fancy footwork and his father’s fickle
forgiveness. “Fred’s a fool!” said Farley. But the faithful father figured, “Filial fidelity is fine, Farley, but the fugitive is
found! What forbids fervent festivity? Let flags be unfurled! Find the fiddles and flutes! Let fanfares flare!”
Father’s forgiveness formed the foundation for Fred the former fugitive’s future fortitude.
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Use this as an alternate reading of Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15.
The President and the Little Boy
During the war between the states, a young soldier in the Union Army lost his older brother and his
father in the battle of Gettysburg. The soldier decided to go to Washington, D.C. to see President
Lincoln to ask for an exemption from military service so that he could go back and help his sister and
mother with the spring planting on the farm. When he arrived in Washington, after having received a
furlough from the military to go and plead his case, he went to the White House, approached the front
gate and asked to see the president.
The guard on duty told him, “You can’t see the president, young man! Don’t you know there’s a war
going on? The president is a very busy man! Now go away, son! Get back out there on the battle lines
where you belong!”
So the young soldier left, very disheartened, and was sitting on a little park bench not far from the
White House when a little boy came up to him. The lad said, “Soldier, you look unhappy. What’s
wrong?” The soldier looked at the little boy and began to spill his heart to him. He told of his father
and his brother being killed in the war, and of the desperate situation at home. He explained that his
mother and sister had no one to help them with the farm. The little boy listened and said, “I can help
you, soldier.” He took the soldier by the hand and led him back to the front gate of the White House.
Apparently, the guard didn’t notice them, because they weren’t stopped. They walked straight to the
front door of the White House and walked right in. After they got inside, they walked right past
generals and high-ranking officials, and no one said a word. The soldier couldn’t understand this.
Why didn’t anyone try to stop them?
Finally, they reached the Oval Office—where the president was working—and the little boy didn’t
even knock on the door. He just walked right in and led the soldier in with him. There behind the
desk was Abraham Lincoln and his Secretary of State, looking over battle plans that were laid out on
his desk.
The president looked at the boy and then at the soldier and said, “Good afternoon, Todd. Can you
introduce me to your friend?”
And Todd Lincoln, the son of the president, said, “Daddy, this soldier needs to talk to you.”
The soldier pled his case before Mr. Lincoln, and right then and there he received the exemption that
he desired.
We have access to the Father because of Jesus Christ, who intercedes for us. Because of Christ, we
have peace with God. We can come to him anytime, anywhere. “But now in Christ Jesus you who
once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace,
who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…For through
him we have access to the Father.” (Ephesians 2:13, 18)
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Real Pearls
The cheerful girl with bouncy curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw a circle of
glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. “Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?”
Her mother checked the back of the little foil box and said, “Jenny, these pearls cost $1.95. If you really want them, I’ll
think of some extra chores for you to do and raise your allowance. It won’t take long for you to save enough money to buy
them yourself.”
Her mother was right. After only two weeks, Jenny had enough money saved for the pearls. Her mother took her back to
the store, where Jenny proudly counted out her money to the cashier.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel pretty and grown up. She wore them everywhere—Sunday school,
kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or took a bubble bath. Her
mother said that if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.
Jenny also had a very loving daddy. Every night when she was ready for bed, her daddy would stop whatever he was doing
and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he said to Jenny, “I love you, sweetheart. Do
you love me?”
“Oh yes, Daddy,” Jenny replied. “You know that I love you.”
“Then give me your pearls,” her father said.
Jenny was confused. “Oh, Daddy, not my pearls,” she said. “But you can have Princess, the white horse from my
collection. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me last year? She’s my favorite.”
“That’s okay, Honey,” Jenny’s father said. “Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after story time, Jenny’s daddy said once again, “I sure do love you, sweetheart. Do you love me?”
“Daddy, you know I love you.”
“Then give me your pearls.”
Jenny was confused again. “Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my
birthday. She is so beautiful. You can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper, too.”
“That’s okay,” Jenny’s father said. “Daddy loves you. Good night.” And as always, he gave her a gentle kiss.
A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed. As he came close, he
noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
“What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?”
Jenny didn’t say anything, but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl
necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, “Here, Daddy, it’s for you.”
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny’s daddy reached out with one hand to take the necklace. With the other hand
he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case and gave it to Jenny.
When she opened it, she found a beautiful strand of real pearls.
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What are you hanging on to? What kind of cheap, dime-store jewelry is preventing you from receiving the blessings that
your heavenly Father wants to pour out on you?
Jesus said, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew
6:33). If you truly love Jesus and want to follow him, then you must let go of worldly things that seem so important to you
and trust that he will give you much more in return.
Maybe it’s your friends that are holding you back and keeping you from being the kind of person God wants you to be.
The thought of letting them go, of being rejected, of being alone may scare you so much that you refuse to do anything
about it. But God is faithful and good. He doesn’t want you to be rejected or alone any more than you do. Trust that he will
give you back some new friends—better friends—because you’ve been obedient to him.
Maybe it’s wrong or childish thoughts about God. He’s not waiting for you to mess up, so he can zap you with zits!
Maybe you’re holding onto the fake pearls of popularity or acceptance. You’ve been desperate to be liked and, until now,
have been holding on to fake acceptance from your peers, rather than the unconditional love and unclouded acceptance that
God gives.
What’s your string of cheap pearls? What feels risky to let go of—even though you know it will be better to go for the
perfect pearls?
GOD’S LOVE
The Bus Driver’s Gift
One afternoon a bus driver was taking 40 children home from school. As the bus made its way down a steep
grade, the brakes failed. The driver was unable to steer the bus to the left because of a high embankment or to
the right because of a steep cliff.
As the bus hurtled down the hill, the driver recalled that there was a narrow gate at the bottom which led into a
field. He decided to try to steer the bus through the gate and into the field, figuring that it would eventually
come to a safe stop. He hoped that no cars or other obstacles would get in his way before he got to the gate.
When the bus reached the bottom of the hill, the driver saw the gate approaching fast. But to his horror, he
noticed a small child sitting on the gate, waving at the bus.
It was too late to change plans now. If the driver tried to avoid the gate, 40 children would die. He cried out in
anguish as the bus slammed directly into the gate. The innocent child died instantly in the collision, but the bus
and all of its passengers were saved.
Emergency vehicles were the first to arrive on the scene, followed shortly by relieved parents and grandparents.
Many of them wanted to show their appreciation and gratitude to the driver who had kept the bus under control
long enough to save their children. But the driver was nowhere to be found. They asked a police officer where
he had gone.
“They’ve taken him to the hospital,” the officer said. “He’s suffering from severe shock.”
“Well, that’s understandable,” they replied.
“No, you don’t understand,” said the officer. “You see, that little boy on the fence was his own son.”
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God’s decision to save us came at a great expense to himself. Jesus cried out in the garden, “My Father, if it is
possible, may this cup be taken from me” (Matthew 26:39). But it was God’s love for us that sent Jesus to the
cross (John 3:16). He gave his only son so that we could live.
Come Home
Max Lucado tells this story in his book No Wonder They Call Him Savior:
The small house was simple but adequate. It consisted of one large room on a dusty street. Its red-tiled roof was one of
many in this poor neighborhood on the outskirts of the Brazilian village. It was a comfortable home. Maria and her
daughter, Christina, had done what they could to add color to the gray walls and warmth to the hard dirt floor: an old
calendar, a faded photograph of a relative, a wooden crucifix. The furnishings were modest: a pallet on either side of the
room, a washbasin and a wood-burning stove.
Maria’s husband had died when Christina was an infant. The young mother, stubbornly refusing opportunities to remarry,
got a job and set out to raise her young daughter. And now, fifteen years later, the worst years were over. Though Maria’s
salary as a maid afforded few luxuries, it was reliable and it did provide food and clothes. And now, Christina was old
enough to get a job to help out.
Some said Christina got her independence from her mother. She recoiled at the traditional idea of marrying young and
raising a family. Not that she couldn’t have had her pick of husbands. Her olive skin and brown eyes kept a steady stream
of prospects at her door. She had an infectious way of throwing her head back and filling the room with laughter. She
also had that rare magic some women have that makes every man feel like a king just by being near them. But it was her
spirited curiosity that made her keep all the men at arm’s length.
She spoke often of going to the city. She dreamed of trading her dusty neighborhood for exciting avenues and city life.
Just the thought of this horrified her mother. Maria was always quick to remind Christina of the harshness of the streets.
“People don’t know you there. Jobs are scarce and the life is cruel. And besides, if you went there, what would you do for
a living?”
Maria knew exactly what Christina would do, or would have to do for a living. That’s why her heart broke when she
awoke one morning to find her daughter’s bed empty. Maria knew immediately where her daughter had gone. She also
knew immediately what she must do to find her. She quickly threw some clothes in a bag, gathered up all her money and
ran out of the house.
On her way to the bus stop she entered a drugstore to get one last thing. Pictures. She sat in the photograph booth, closed
the curtain, and spent all she could on pictures of herself. With her purse full of small black and white photos, she
boarded the next bus to Rio de Janeiro.
Maria knew Christina had no way of earning money. She also knew that her daughter was too stubborn to give up. When
pride meets hunger, a human will do things that were before unthinkable. Knowing this, Maria began her search. Bars,
hotels, nightclubs, any place with a reputation for streetwalkers or prostitutes. She went to them all. And at each place she
left her picture—taped to a hotel bulletin board, fastened to a corner phone booth. And on the back of each photo, she
wrote a note.
It wasn’t too long before both the money and the pictures ran out, and Maria had to go home. The weary mother wept as
the bus began its long journey back to her small village.
It was a few weeks later that young Christina descended the hotel stairs. Her face was tired. Her brown eyes no longer
danced with youth but spoke of pain and fear. Her laughter was broken. Her dream had become a nightmare. A thousand
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times over she had longed to trade these countless beds for her secure pallet. Yet the little village was, in many ways, too
far away.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, her eyes noticed a familiar face. She looked again, and there on the lobby mirror
was a small picture of her mother. Christina’s eyes burned and her throat tightened as she walked across the room and
removed the small photo. Written on the back was this compelling invitation: “Whatever you have done, whatever you
have become, it doesn’t matter. Please come home.”
She did.
(Excerpted from No Wonder They Call Him the Savior, by Max Lucado, Mulnomah Publishers, Inc., Copyright 1986 by
Multnomah Publishers. Reprinted by permission.)
Jesus is God’s picture taped to a Roman cross, inviting us to come home. “The Son is the exact radiance of God’s glory
and the exact representation of his being” (Hebrews 1:3). When you look at Jesus, you can’t help but see the Father who
loves you. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’ve become, God invites you to come home. “Come unto me,
all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
God’s Pictures
Sally walked to and from school every day. She loved skipping along the sidewalk, looking at the flowers, and saying
hi to neighbors and shopkeepers along the way.
One morning, the sky was cloudy and rain was forecast for later in the day. But Sally still wanted to walk to school.
Her mother allowed her to but told her to take her umbrella, just in case.
When school was over, Sally began her walk home. As she skipped along, the wind began to howl and raindrops
started falling from the sky. Sally opened her umbrella and continued on her way.
Suddenly a bolt of lightning cut through the sky, followed by the roar of thunder. Sally’s mother quickly jumped into
her car and drove the route to Sally’s school. Aside from the physical danger, she was afraid that Sally would be
frightened by the noise and flashing light, which was now occurring at regular intervals, several times a minute.
Around the corner, Sally’s mother saw her little girl walking along with her umbrella. But at each flash of lightning,
Sally would stop, look up at the sky, and smile.
Sally’s mother watched this routine repeat itself three times. Each lightning flash caused Sally to stop walking, look up
at the sky, and smile. Finally, Sally’s mother called to her, “Sally, what on earth are you doing?”
Sally answered, “I’m smiling. God keeps taking pictures of me.”
It’s been said that if God has a wallet, you can bet your picture is in it. The next time you’re in a storm of life,
remember that God may just be snapping a few pictures of you! Smile.
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Hep Baddy
The weather was perfect—a day made for raking leaves. With his trusty rake, the man began gathering the leaves into tidy
piles. Once they were in piles, he planned to bag them and haul them to the curb. He figured he could get the job done in
about an hour.
Just as the man finished his third pile, his two-year-old son Justin came charging out of the house. The excited boy was
shouting, “Hep baddy! Hep baddy!” at the top of his lungs. Holding a small plastic rake, he ran toward his baddy to hep
rake up the leaves.
Justin’s father was excited about his son’s enthusiasm, but he knew the little guy probably wouldn’t be much hep. Still, he
smiled at his son and said, “Why, thank you, Justin! I really do need your help!”
As the man began raking a fourth pile, he noticed Justin working on pile number three. The little boy swung his rake
vigorously at the leaves, sending them flying everywhere. All the while he repeated the words, “Hep baddy! Hep baddy!”
Justin’s father grinned as his son tried to copy his raking motions. He finished the fourth pile and went back to the third to
try to straighten up the scattered leaves. Just as he was almost finished, Justin threw down his rake and jumped in the
middle of the pile, still shouting, “Hep baddy! Hey baddy!” He buried himself in the pile, laughing and kicking his legs,
scattering leaves everywhere.
This went on for several hours. The man would rake a pile and the boy would mess it up. When it came time to put the
leaves into bags, Justin wanted to help with that, too. Again his father graciously allowed him to participate, even though
the job could have been completed a whole lot quicker—and certainly a whole lot better—if the father had done it himself.
Unfortunately some dads don’t realize that bonding time with a child is more important than a great-looking lawn. They
don’t understand that it’s more important to give a youngster a sense of importance and accomplishment than it is to
complete a job early enough to catch the afternoon football game on TV.
Our heavenly Father doesn’t need our help, but he loves us deeply. Certainly he’s capable of getting things done in the
world much faster and better than we can. However, he graciously allows us to be part of the process. He invites us to “hep
baddy” by throwing ourselves into ministry and service to him. Even though we are apt to make a giant mess of things, he
urges us on.
Remember Moses? God certainly could have rescued the Hebrew children without Moses’ help. But God used Moses and
assured him, “I will be with you” (Exodus 3:12)—and he most definitely was.
God also will be with you as you serve him. You may mess up big time, but he loves you and knows that he can always
make things okay, if necessary. He wants to be with you, and he wants you to experience the joy of serving him!
The Man on the Hill
An old man lived on a hill that overlooked the ocean. At the bottom of the hill was a public campground where
people would come to pitch their tents, hike along the beach, and play in the surf. One day the old man was
looking out at the ocean from his window when he noticed a huge tidal wave bearing down on the campground.
He knew that the people who occupied the campground below were doomed. He had no phone or any other way
to warn them from his hillside perch. And he knew that if he attempted to run down to the campground, by the
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time he got there, he would be wiped out, too.
There was only one thing to do. He grabbed a book of matches and set his house on fire. Within minutes the
people in the campground noticed the smoke from the fire and rushed up the hill to try to save the man. Just as the
campers made it to the top, the tidal wave reached land and completely destroyed the campground and everything
in it. But the people were saved.
The man on the hill sacrificed his home to save the lives of people he didn’t even know. There was no other way.
God did much more than that when he sacrificed his son on our behalf. There was no other way.
Just as the fire on the hill drew people away from the death and destruction of the tidal wave, so the cross draws
people away from their lives of sin.
Jesus said, “But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself” (John 12:32). When we run to
the cross, we escape the death and destruction of sin. It’s the only way to salvation.
New Ears
Guy Dowd tells this story:
Danny was born with no ears. He could hear all right, but he didn’t have ears like normal people. All his life, Danny
endured ridicule and rejection because of his deformity. But he learned to live with it. Thankfully, he had loving parents and
a strong family to sustain him.
When Danny was in high school, his doctor told him of a new procedure that made it possible to transplant ears from one
person to another. That meant Danny could get new ears if someone who was compatible to him ever donated theirs.
This was exciting news. After all, people donated body parts all the time—hearts, lungs, kidneys. But Danny soon found
that donor ears were extremely scarce.
Danny didn’t give up hope, however. He knew that someday he would get new ears. He graduated from high school with
honors and was accepted at a major university thousands of miles away. He kissed his parents good-bye and began his life
as a college student. Again, though, he found it hard to make friends and fit in because of his ears.
One day he got a phone call from his father. “Go to the hospital tomorrow, Danny. A donor has been found.”
The very next day Danny checked into the university hospital where doctors were ready to perform the surgery. A few hours
later, Danny had new ears.
When the bandages came off, Danny gazed into the mirror for hours. He finally had ears like normal people. For the first
time in his life, he wasn’t ashamed of the way he looked. He not only had new ears, he had a new life.
A few weeks later, Danny received another phone call from his father. “Son, your mother is very ill,” his father said. “She
may not live through the night.”
Danny was on the first plane home. When he arrived, his father gave him the sad news that his mother had died.
Together they went to the funeral home, where Danny was able to see his mother for the last time. He leaned over to kiss her
cheek. Brushing her hair back from her face, he noticed that she had no ears.
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It was a mother’s incredible love that provided Danny with new ears. And it was a Father’s incredible love that provided us
with new life. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans
5:8).
Saving Private Ryan
One of the most powerful films in recent history is Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan. The film begins on
D-Day, June 6, 1944, as the Nazis were advancing across Western Europe. Faced with the ugly possibility of
defeat, the Allied powers staged on the beaches of Normandy the greatest military invasion in history. Their goal
was to cripple the German army and ultimately force Hitler and his army into retreat.
Following the bloody battle, Captain John Miller (played by Tom Hanks) and his surviving company of soldiers
receive very unusual orders from their commander. They must locate and rescue a solder, Private James Ryan
(played by Matt Damon), who is fighting somewhere behind enemy lines. We are told that Ryan and his three
older brothers enlisted in the Army. What Private Ryan doesn’t know is that all three of his brothers perished
during the Normandy invasion. To spare Private Ryan’s mother the anguish of losing all four of her sons, Miller
and his men must find James and bring him back alive.
As Miller and his eight men move deeper into enemy territory in search of Ryan, they engage in an intense debate
about why one man’s life is so important that they should risk theirs. “This Ryan better be worth it,” Miller says.
“He better go home and cure some disease or invent a new longer-lasting light bulb.”
Despite their misgivings, Captain Miller’s band of soldiers bravely carry out their orders, with several of them
paying the ultimate price as they successfully locate and rescue the young soldier. In the final battle scene, Miller
takes a bullet that will ultimately cost him his life. But before he dies, he whispers to Private Ryan, who is
kneeling by his side, “Earn this...earn it.”
The movie ends with a scene set some fifty years after the war, with the elderly James Ryan standing over
Captain Miller’s grave at Arlington National Cemetery. With a trembling voice, he says, “Every day I think about
what you said to me that day on the bridge. I’ve tried to live my life the best I could. I hope that was enough...I
hope I earned what you did for me.”
In the movie, Ryan then asks his wife, “Have I been a good man?” For 50 years, he was tormented by the
realization that he could never do enough to earn what Captain Miller and his men did for him.
Contrast that with Jesus, who gave his life so that we could live. His dying words were not “Earn this.” Instead,
he said, “It is finished!”
Had Jesus said, “Earn this,” you would have quickly come to realize that there’s no way to earn what it cost for
Jesus to give his life for yours. To spend a lifetime trying to earn your salvation only leads to frustration and
despair.
That’s why Jesus said, “It is finished!” He declared once and for all that nothing more needs to be done. You
don’t have to earn it. The free gift of salvation is yours—no strings attached. Just believe and accept him as your
savior and friend.
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Does that mean we live our lives as if nothing happened? Do we go on living as we did before? “By no means!”
writes Paul in Romans 6:2. Instead, we demonstrate that we have new life in Christ by living in obedience to him.
Our good works won’t earn our salvation, but they will provide evidence that we have gratefully received it.
That’s My Child
The Koalas and Cubs were as evenly matched as any two soccer teams made up of five- and six-year-olds could be.
In the first half of the game, neither team scored. The players scrambled all over the field in a clump, falling over
their own feet, stumbling over the ball, kicking at it and missing. But none of them seemed to care. They were having
fun.
During the second half, the coach of the Koalas pulled out most of his starters and sent in his substitutes—except for
Scotty, who was the goalie and one of the team’s best players.
The game took a dramatic turn. Apparently the coach of the Cubs was playing to win, because he left his best players
in the game.
The Cubs took control of the contest and swarmed around Scotty, who was doing his best to guard the goal. Scotty
was a good player but no match for the entire Cubs team. The little goalie gave it everything he had, recklessly
throwing his body in front of incoming balls, trying to stop them. His parents cheered him on from the stands, yelling
encouragement and advice. Eventually, though, the Cubs scored a goal.
A few minutes later the Cubs scored on Scotty again. This infuriated him and he became a raging maniac—shouting,
running, diving. With all of the stamina he could muster, he tried covering two opposing players at once, but it was
no use. The Cubs scored again.
After the third and fourth goals, Scotty’s demeanor changed. He could see it was no use. He completely lost hope.
Desperate futility was written all over his face. In the stands, his father’s demeanor changed as well. He had been
cheering on his son, but now he was feeling bad for him. He kept yelling, “That’s okay, hang in there, son,” but he
was clearly feeling his son’s pain.
After the fifth goal was scored, Scotty did what you would expect any six-year-old to do. He got so frustrated that he
started crying. Huge crocodile tears rolled down both cheeks. He went to his knees, put his fists to his eyes and cried
in anguish. He felt hopeless and brokenhearted.
The boy’s father jumped up and ran onto the field in his business suit, tie, and dress shoes. While the game was still
in progress, he picked up his son, hugged him, and cried with him.
He carried his son to the sidelines and said, “Scotty, I’m so proud of you. You were great out there. I came out here
because I want everyone to know that you are my son.”
“But daddy,” the boy sobbed,” I couldn’t stop them. I tried, Daddy. I tried and tried, and they kept scoring on me.”
“Scotty,” his father said, “it doesn’t matter how many times they scored on you. You’re my son, and I’m proud of
you. I want you to go back out there and keep playing. Finish the game. I know you want to quit, but you can’t. Your
team needs you. And you’re probably going to get scored on again. But that doesn’t matter, because you’re my son.”
When you’re getting scored on, it’s easy to lose hope and want to give up. Chances are good you get scored on every
day. Like Scotty, you may recklessly throw your body in every direction. You fume and rage, you struggle with
temptation and sin with every ounce of energy you have—and Satan just laughs. He’s left in his best players, and
he’s playing to win.
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Perhaps you’ve been scored on a few times lately. You may have found yourself on your knees, crying out in anguish
over your sin, your guilt, your shame. You can count on your Father in heaven to rush out onto the field. He’ll pick
you up, hold you in his arms, and say, “Child, I’m so proud of you. You were great out there! I want everybody to
know that you’re mine and that I am yours. And remember this—because I control the outcome of this game, I
declare you the winner!”
Unbreakable
A collector of rare antiques walked into a curio shop and noticed a beautiful piece of glass art displayed under a sign
marked “Unbreakable.”
“Pardon me,” the man said to the storekeeper, “but what is the price of this piece?”
“One hundred thousand dollars,” replied the storekeeper.
With a gasp, the man asked why the price was so high.
“Like the sign says, it’s unbreakable!” the storekeeper explained.
The man examined the piece carefully and asked, “Are you certain that this piece is unbreakable?”
The storekeeper assured him that it was.
The man greatly admired the piece, so he paid the full price and took it home. There he put it on display in a protective
case. He told everyone who came to admire it that it was very special—an unbreakable piece of glass.
Several weeks later, the man visited the curio shop again and explained to the storekeeper how much care he’d taken to
protect and preserve the beautiful piece he’d purchased.
While looking around, the man noticed another piece of glass art beneath the unbreakable sign. It occurred to the man
that he’d seen the same piece marked $500 the last time he was in the shop. He asked the storekeeper, “How can that
piece be unbreakable, too? Last month when I was here, it was in the display cabinet with those other pieces, and it was
marked $500!”
“No, the price is $100,000,” the storekeeper replied. “It’s unbreakable, now, too.”
“How can you be so sure?” the man demanded.
“Because the schmuck who pays a hundred grand for this thing is going to take as much care of it as you have with
yours!”
When you know something is extremely valuable, you tend to take very good care of it. The Bible tells us that we were
“bought with a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20). God paid a very high price for each of us. He sacrificed his only son so we
could have eternal life. For that reason, every person you meet is of great value, because he or she is of great value to
God.
How do you treat the people you encounter every day? How do you treat the members of your own family? How do you
treat people who are different from you or people who have less than you do?
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GRACE
Armed for Salvation
In three years Harry Ironside moved up the Salvation Army ranks from cadet to captain, but he was constantly
tormented with the thought that he had backslidden and might lose his salvation. To stay saved, he thought, he
must reach a place where he was beyond sin. He heard sensational stories from people who claimed that they had
attained holiness, their lives totally free from sin. He wanted that holiness too.
Harry prayed for and pursued sinlessness, working ever harder, depriving himself of even the simplest pleasures,
convinced that he was making his place in heaven more secure. But the holiness he sought eluded him. Under the
strain of this unbearable pursuit of perfection, Harry collapsed in exhaustion. When he resigned from the
Salvation Army and checked into a rest home, he was 19 years old.
H. A. Ironside learned the importance of being saved early. But it took a physical and emotional breakdown to
make him realize that Jesus does the saving—not us. Only after he discovered this essential truth could his real
ministry begin, resulting in 50 years of powerful preaching, teaching, and writing that included 34 expository
books covering the entire Bible. Among those writings is this simple declaration of the truth that nearly cost him
his life to discover—
Christ and… is a perverted gospel, which is not the gospel. Christ without the and is the
sinner's hope and the saint's confidence…Jesus is not only necessary, but also he is enough.
Jesus gives us unconditional love. Love that cannot be bought or sold, won or lost. It is not deserved, nor can it be
earned. God alone is the source of our salvation. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this
not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Bad Tire, Good Business
An elderly woman walked into a large department store and approached a salesperson. She explained that
she wanted to return an automobile tire she felt was unsuitable for her car. The salesperson discovered that
she had been a longtime customer of his store and that she and her friends spent much of their time there.
But, she said, she was unhappy with the tire she had purchased. The salesperson was surprised, but asked if
she had the tire with her. She told him she had the tire in her car, but that she had lost the receipt.
“Well, that’s not a problem,” the salesperson said after a moment of thought. “You can return the tire. Would
a store credit be okay?”
The woman agreed and the salesperson gave her a store voucher for the full value of the tire.
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You may think there’s nothing extraordinary about how this particular salesperson handled the situation.
After all, he worked it out so that the woman would still end up spending her money in his department store.
And she would probably tell her friends how fairly and respectfully she was treated there. So it was just good
business, right?
Well, yes. But there’s something else you should know. This incident occurred in a store that doesn’t sell
automotive equipment—not even tires.
This is the kind of story that Jesus might have told. Consider the parable of the laborers in the vineyard who
were paid a full day’s wage even though they worked only an hour or two (Matthew 20:1-16). Or the story of
the prodigal son, who received a gala homecoming party even though he had been selfish and rebellious
(Luke 15:11-32). Those are grace stories—stories about people who received good things they didn’t
deserve.
Sometimes you may want to believe that if you’re good enough, you can earn your way to heaven and
eternal life. On the other hand, you may worry that God will never let you into heaven because you’ve been
so bad.
But that’s not how grace works. Grace is not about what you’ve done in the past or about what you can do in
the future. It’s about what God can do right now.
Just as the store salesperson gave the elderly woman store credit because he could, so God credits us with
eternal life because he can. He loves us and will do anything he can to make it possible for us to draw near to
him. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not
perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were
still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
And now Jesus calls us to treat others with grace as well. Hey, if a department store can do it, so can you.
Do Something!
St. Michael’s had always been a very wealthy church. Its 300 members usually gave a combined annual offering of
over one million dollars—because they could afford to.
Over the years, however, the neighborhood around the beautiful old church began to change. Immigrants flocked to the
area, changing the complexion of the community. Steel bars replaced welcome signs in store windows. Homeless
people could be found wandering the sidewalks and streets. The changes made some members of St. Michael’s very
uncomfortable. They usually tried to avoid that part of town except on Sundays.
One Sunday, shortly after a young associate priest had joined the church staff, the church members were gathered after
the morning service for coffee and pastries. In the spring months they loved to gather in the flower garden outside the
church, among its gazebos, fountains, and vine-covered arches.
As the elegantly dressed worshipers sipped coffee and chatted in the garden, a homeless man shuffled in off the street.
He entered through the garden gate without looking at anyone. But all eyes were certainly on him. He quietly walked
over to the table where a spread of expensive pastries were displayed on silver trays. He picked up one of the pastries
and bit into it, keeping his eyes closed.
Then he reached for a second pastry and placed it into his coat pocket. Moving slowly and trying not to be noticed, he
placed another into the same pocket.
The garden buzzed with whispers. Finally one of the women walked over to the new priest and said, “Well, do
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something!”
Still feeling a little awkward in his new position, the young priest handed his coffee cup to the woman, walked over to
the table, and stood next to the homeless man. He reached under the table, where the empty pastry boxes had been
stored. Then he picked up one of the silver trays loaded with pastries and emptied them into a box. He did the same
with a second tray of expensive goodies. Then he closed the lids on the boxes and held them out to the homeless man.
“We’re here every Sunday,” the priest said.
The man smiled at the priest, cradled the boxes in his arms, and shuffled quietly out of the garden and down the street.
The priest returned to his coffee cup, smiled at the woman holding it, and said, “That’s what you meant when you said,
‘Do something,’ wasn’t it?”
What would you have done if you’d been that priest?
That’s an important question for all of us. Jesus looks out at the homeless and weak of this world and says to each of
us, “Well, do something.”
Certainly if Jesus were here in the flesh, you can bet he would have done something very much like what that young
priest did.
But wait! Jesus is here in the flesh. That’s what the church is all about. We are the body of Christ—the hands and feet
of Jesus in today’s world (1 Corinthians 12).
The Three Spinners
Introduce this old tale from Grimm’s Fairy Tales by explaining that spinning was the term used for using a
spinning wheel to make yarn out of flax.
There was once a girl who was lazy and would not spin. Her mother could not persuade her to do it, no matter how
hard she tried. Finally the mother became so angry that she gave her daughter a good beating. While the mother
was beating the girl, the queen of the realm happened to pass by and heard the girl crying. The queen stopped,
entered the house, and asked the mother why she was beating her child.
The woman was ashamed to tell of her daughter’s laziness, so she said, “I am trying to stop her from spinning.
That’s all she wants to do. Day and night, she keeps on spinning, but I am poor and cannot supply her with enough
flax.”
The queen answered, “I like nothing better than the sound of the spinning wheel, and I always feel happy when I
hear its humming. Let me take your daughter with me to the castle. I have plenty of flax, and she shall spin there
to her heart’s content.”
The mother was only too glad to get rid of her daughter, so she agreed to let the queen take the girl with her. When
they reached the castle, the queen showed her three rooms completely filled with the finest flax in the land.
“Now you can spin all of this flax,” said the queen “and if you are able to spin it all to my satisfaction, I will make
you the wife of my eldest son. You will become the princess. But if you fail, you will be banished from the realm
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forever.”
Even though the girl was momentarily excited about the possibility of becoming the princess, she was inwardly
terrified because she knew couldn’t spin the flax even if she were to live a hundred years and were to sit spinning
every day of her life from morning to evening. She didn’t even know how. For three days she sat and cried,
without spinning a single thread. On the third day the queen came, and when she saw that nothing had been done,
she was surprised and asked for an explanation. The girl excused herself by saying that she had not been able to
begin because of the distress she felt from leaving home and her loving mother. The excuse satisfied the queen
temporarily, but as she left she said, “Tomorrow you must begin to work.”
When the girl was alone again, she couldn’t figure out what to do at all. In her frustration, she gazed out the
window and saw three women who were passing by. One had a broad flat foot that caused her to walk with a limp,
the second had a fat lower lip that hung down under her chin, and the third had a huge thumb that looked ugly and
sore. When they saw the girl, they stopped at the window and asked what the girl was doing. The girl told them
her plight, and the three women said, “We are spinners, and we will help you on one condition. When you marry
the prince, invite us to your wedding, and do not be ashamed of us. Call us your cousins, and let us sit at your
table. If you will promise this, we will finish off your flax-spinning in a very short time.”
“Oh yes, I promise with all my heart,” the girl answered. “Only come in now and begin at once.”
The women came in and began spinning the yarn immediately. The first one drew out the thread and pumped the
treadle that turned the wheel; the second moistened the thread with her mouth, and the third twisted it with her
thumb. Soon heaps of beautiful yarn began falling to the ground. Whenever the queen came by, the girl would
hide the three spinsters and keep them out of sight. The queen was amazed at the heaps of well-spun yarn, and
there was no end to the praise that the girl received. When the first room was empty, they went on to the second,
and then to the third, so that at last all the flax was spun.
Then the three women left, saying to the girl, “Do not forget your promise, and nothing bad will happen to you.”
When the girl showed the delighted queen the three empty rooms and the heaps of beautiful yarn, the wedding was
arranged at once. The prince was quite pleased that he was to have such a diligent and hardworking wife.
“I have three cousins,” said the girl, “and they have been very kind to me over the years. May I invite them to the
wedding, and ask them to sit at the head table with us?”
The queen and the prince both said, “Yes, that would be permitted.”
When the wedding feast began, in came the three spinsters and sat down at the head table. The prince was
surprised at their appearance. “Oh,” he said, “I didn’t realize that you had such dreadfully ugly relatives.”
He went up to the first spinster and looking down at her broad, flat foot, asked, “How did your foot become so
large?”
“From pumping the treadle on the spinning wheel,” she said. “From pumping.”
He then went up to the second spinster and said, “How is it that you have such a great hanging lip?”
“From licking the thread,” she answered. “From licking.”
Then he asked the third, “How is it that you have such a huge thumb?”
“From twisting the thread,” she replied. “From twisting.”
The prince considered all this for moment and then announced, “From this day forward, my beautiful bride will
never again touch a spinning wheel!”
And together they lived happily ever after.
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As you were listening to this story, did you keep thinking, Uh oh. Pretty soon she’s going to be found out! She’s
going to be in deep trouble.
That’s not the way the story turns out. Even though the girl is lazy, deceptive, and unworthy of being made a
princess, she gets away with it. Nothing bad happens to her, and she’s off the hook forever. The story has a
wonderfully happy ending.
That’s the story of the Gospel. That’s what grace is all about. Like the girl, you and I are lazy, dishonest, and
undeserving of anything except banishment from the realm. But God in his great mercy sent his Son so that we
would never ever have to pay the penalty for our sin. Just as the three spinsters carried the burden of spinning for
the girl, Jesus bore our sins on the cross and we are set free. God has given us his kingdom. We are adopted into
his forever family. It’s like a fairy tale—the only difference is, it’s true!
HAPPINESS
Finding Happiness in Tibet
A bright young premed student from Harvard University journeyed to the mountains of Tibet during the
summer following his sophomore year. There he met a monk who said to him, “Don’t you see how you are
poisoning your soul with your success-oriented way of life? Your idea of happiness is to stay up all night
studying for an exam so you can get a better grade than your friend. Your idea of a happy marriage is not
finding a woman who will make you whole, but winning the girl that everyone else wants. That’s not how
people are supposed to live. Life is not a competition. Give it up. Come join us in an atmosphere where we
share, live in harmony, and love one another. Here you can find true happiness.”
The young man had completed four years at a competitive high school to get into Harvard and had worked
hard to become one of the top pre-med students in his class at the university. He was ripe for the appeal of
the Tibetan monk. He called his parents and told them that he would not be coming home. He was
dropping out of school to live in a Buddhist monastery.
Six months later, he wrote his parents: “Dear Mom and Dad, I know you weren’t happy with the decision I
made last summer, but I want to tell you that I am doing great. For the first time in my life, I am at peace.
Here there is no competing, no hustling, no trying to get ahead of anyone else. Here we are all equal, and
we all share. This way of life is so much in harmony with the inner essence of my soul that in only six
months I’ve become the number two disciple in the entire monastery, and I think I can become number one
by June!”
Obviously, nothing changed for this young man except his environment. On the inside, he remained the
same person and will probably be as discontent as he was before when the novelty of living in a new place
wears off.
You can’t find happiness or peace simply by changing your external surroundings. What you need is a
change on the inside, and that can only happen by giving your life to Jesus Christ. Scripture teaches us that
when you become a Christian, “the old is gone and the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). The
transformation is complete, from the inside out.
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The Happiest Man on Earth
Once upon a time, there was a king who had more money than he knew what to do with. He owned land
as far as the eye could see. He built dozens of castles and filled them with silver and gold. He had
hundreds of servants at his beck and call.
But no matter how much the king acquired, he never seemed to have enough. As a result he was a
miserable man.
One day the king called for one of his servants and gave him these instructions: “I want you to scour the
land from one horizon to the other and find the happiest man on earth. Once you’ve found him, I want you
to take all that he owns and bring it to me. Kill him, if necessary. I must have what he has, because then I
will be happy myself! By the way, if you fail in your mission, you will be beheaded.”
After many months of searching, the servant returned. The king noticed the servant’s hands were empty
and became very angry. He gave the servant one minute to explain why he had disobeyed the king’s
orders.
With tears in his eyes, the servant looked at the king and said with a trembling voice, “Master, I did as you
said. I searched from horizon to horizon looking for the happiest man on earth, and I finally found him.”
The king stood and shouted at the servant, “Then why didn’t you bring me this man’s possessions?”
The servant replied, “Master, the happiest man on earth didn’t have any.”
It’s no secret that rich people are often unhappy. There is no relationship between an increase in one’s
bank account and an increase in one’s personal happiness. In fact studies show that the majority of state
lottery winners say they regret having won at all. Their sudden wealth actually creates more problems for
them than happiness.
Jesus said, “Blessed [or “happy”] are you who are poor” (Luke 6:20). And he wasn’t just trying to make
poor people feel better about themselves! The Bible tells us that Jesus himself had “no place to lay his
head” (Matthew 8:20). What’s more, he had no possessions of his own.
God may bless you with more than you need to get by in today’s world, and if he does, you can be very
grateful. But never mistake possessions for the abundant life that Jesus offers (John 10:10).
Possessions can’t possibly provide you with happiness or anything else of true value in life. Remember the
story of the rich young ruler? “He went away sad because he had great wealth” (Mark 10:17-22).
Sobibor
The Sobibor Nazi concentration camp was set in the scenic woods near the Bug River, which separates Poland and Russia.
The natural beauty of the setting stood in stark contrast to the stench and horror of the camp, where torture and death awaited
every man, woman, and child who arrived there.
On October 14, 1943, Jewish slave laborers in Sobibor surprised their captors by using their shovels and pickaxes as weapons
in a well-planned attack. Some of the Jewish prisoners cut the electricity to the fence and used captured pistols and rifles to
shoot their way past the German guards. Hundreds of others stormed through the barbed wire and mine fields to the potential
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safety of the nearby forest.
Of the 700 prisoners who took part in the escape, 300 made it to the forest. Of those, less than 100 are known to have
survived. Most were hunted down by the Germans and executed.
One of the former prisoners who lived to talk about Sobibor was a man named Thomas Blatt—or Toivi, as he was known in
his native Poland. Toivi was 15 years old when his family was herded into Sobibor. His parents were executed in the gas
chamber, but Toivi, who was young and healthy, was a prime candidate for slave labor.
In the confusion of the escape, Toivi had attempted to crawl through a hole in the barbed wire fence but was trampled by the
prisoners who stormed the fence and ran through the minefield. As a result, Toivi was one of the last to escape the camp.
Toivi and two companions started their long journey through the dense woods. Every morning at daybreak they buried
themselves in the woods to sleep. Every night they made their way through the trees and thick brush. The boys had much to
drive them on—vigor, youth, determination, revenge, fear, and a deep desire to survive. Most significantly, they had regained
something they’d once lost—hope.
But what they really needed was a guide—someone who could read the stars, someone who knew north from south and east
from west. All three of them were city boys with few outdoors skills.
After four nights of wandering through the cold forest, the three boys saw a building silhouetted against the dark sky in the
distance. With smiles on their faces, they eagerly approached it with the hope that it might provide sanctuary from their
enemies.
As they got closer, they noticed that the building they had seen was a tower—specifically, the east tower of the Sobibor
concentration camp!
They had made one giant circle through the woods and ended up exactly where they started.
Terrified, the three boys plunged back into the forest. But only Toivi lived to tell about their awful experience.
Many people in today’s world work tirelessly to escape from a life without meaning, only to find themselves traveling in
circles. They pursue pleasure, prestige, or possessions, and more often than not find themselves right back where they
started—in a prison of meaninglessness that denies them hope and freedom.
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 16:25).
But there is good news. An escape route exists, and Jesus wants to guide us to it (Matthew 7:14). That’s why he came—to
show us the way that leads to life.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow
me’” (Matthew 16:24).
Let Jesus be your guide.
The Suicide Attempt
A few years ago a woman was standing on top of a fifty-four-story building in New York City, ready to jump to
her death. The police suicide squad took her threats extremely seriously. She didn’t look the type, in her
expensive dress and with her distinguished appearance, but regardless of her appearance, every attempt to
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convince her to get down from the ledge ended in failure.
One of the police officers called his pastor to come to the scene and pray for the woman. His pastor came, and
after appraising the situation, asked the police captain if he might try to get close enough to talk with the woman.
The captain shrugged and said, “Sure, what have we got to lose?”
The pastor started walking toward the woman, but she screamed as before, “Don’t come any closer or I’ll jump!”
He took a step backward and called out to her, “I’m sorry that you believe no one loves you.”
This got her attention and also the attention of the suicide squad—it was such an unusual thing to say. “Your
children and grandchildren must not love you. Apparently they never give you any attention,” he continued.
With this, the woman took a step toward the pastor and said, “My grandchildren do love me. My whole family
does. My grandchildren are wonderful. I have eight grandchildren.”
The pastor took a step toward the woman and said, “Well then, you must be very poor, or you wouldn’t want to
take your own life.”
The woman, who was obviously overweight, said, “Do I look like I go without meals? We live in a very nice
apartment in Central Park. I’m not poor!”
The pastor then took another step and was now only three feet from her. “Then why do you want to kill yourself?
I don’t understand.”
The woman thought for a moment and said, “You know, I don’t really remember.”
This true story ended with the pastor escorting the woman off the ledge while she showed him pictures of her
grandchildren. She eventually became a volunteer on the city’s suicide hotline, helping others to choose life. The
pastor helped her get her eyes off herself and onto the many ways that God had blessed her. She learned that
thankful people are happy people. “Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever” (Psalm 136:26).
HEAVEN
A Bad Future Investment
Ancient Egyptians fervently believed in an afterlife. So much so that Egyptian burial rituals are the only
custom familiar to most moderns. For thousands of years their misguided faith motivated them to build
immense tombs with an ingenuity of design, as well as a cost in labor, money, and blood, that still astonishes
people.
Over the centuries the Egyptians prepared each other for eternity by mummifying countless people, animals,
and even insects. Within a few centuries, Egypt had a critical excess of mummies reverently wrapped in
joyful anticipation of the afterlife. With mummies showing up everywhere, later Egyptians got creative.
Nineteenth century European travelers exploring Egypt sent home reports of household roofs thatched with
mummies or ground mummies used for fertilizer. Hustling Egyptians sent mummies by the ton to Americans
who used their linen wrappings to make paper. Even more bizarre, millions of mummies were used in place
of scarce timber for Egypt's wood-burning locomotives—a far cry from the destiny that the original
embalmers imagined for their beloved departed and a reminder of the fallacy of holding to a well-intentioned
but baseless belief.
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Ancient Egyptians were right to believe there's life after death, but it's downhill from there. Almost every
world religion, in fact, teaches that death is not the end. They go wrong, however, with their belief that we
can prepare for eternity through our own efforts.
Many current false religions, cults, and New Age philosophies offer elaborate schemes for achieving eternal
life or for managing your reincarnation. The Bible teaches that there's only one way to gain eternal life,
though—it's through believing that Jesus Christ gives eternal life to those who have faith in him. (John 3:16)
Uncle George
The children of a well-to-do family decided to give their father as a birthday present a book containing their family’s
history. They commissioned a professional biographer to write the book, carefully cautioning him about the family’s
“black sheep”—their Uncle George had been executed in the electric chair for murder, and they felt that it would be best
if the biographer left Uncle George out of the book.
“No need to do that,” said the biographer. “I can report the situation in such a way that there will be no embarrassment
to your father or to you. I’ll merely write that Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important
government institution. He was attached to his position by the strongest ties, and his death came as a real shock.”
How would a biographer write about your life? Would he have to disguise the truth? What do you think people might
say about you after you die? Answering questions like these will help you recognize the kind of life you’re living right
now.
The Bible teaches us that when you die, there’s nothing else you can do to get ready to meet God. (Hebrews 9:27) It
won’t matter what people write about you or say about you to make you look good (or look better than you actually
were). God knows all about you, and you will be judged by him.
JESUS CHRIST
The Art Auction
Years ago a wealthy man shared a passion for art collecting with his devoted young son. Together they traveled
around the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by the likes of Picasso, Van
Gogh, and Monet adorned the walls of the family estate.
The widowed elder man looked on with satisfaction as Mark, his only child, became an experienced art collector. The
son’s trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors
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around the world.
As winter approached, war engulfed their nation, and Mark left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his
father received a telegram: his beloved son had died saving the life of a fellow soldier. Distraught and lonely, the old
man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season, a season that he and his
son always looked forward to, would visit his house no longer.
On Christmas morning a knock on the door awakened the old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art
on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home. At the door was a soldier with a large package.
“I was a friend of Mark,” the soldier said. “I was the one he rescued. If I may I come in for a few moments, I have
something to show you.”
The two were soon deep in conversation. From the soldier the old man learned that Mark had rescued dozens of
wounded soldiers before a bullet stilled his caring heart. The unfolding image of his son's gallantry awakened a
fatherly pride that eased his grief. The soldier then recounted how often Mark had spoken of his father’s love of fine
art. Placing the package on the old man's lap, the soldier told him, “I’m an artist. I want you to have this.”
The old man unwrapped the package, pulling the paper away to reveal a portrait of his son. The canvas featured the
young man’s face in striking detail, though the world would never consider the painting the work of a genius.
Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier.
Once the soldier had departed, the old man set about hanging the portrait above the fireplace, pushing aside paintings
by masters that had cost thousands of dollars. Then seating himself in his chair, he spent Christmas gazing at the gift
he had been given. In the weeks that followed, the man grew peaceful realizing that Mark lived on because of those
he had touched. The soldier's gift soon became his most prized painting, its worth to him far eclipsing the value of the
pieces in his collection for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift
he had ever received.
The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world stirred in anticipation of the public
auction of the old man's estate. He had stipulated that his collection be sold on Christmas Day—the day he had
received his greatest gift. On the appointed day art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on the
spectacular paintings. Many who coveted the reputation of owning the greatest art collection waited eagerly for the
auctioneer to open the bidding.
The auction began with a painting not on any museum’s must-have list—the soldier's painting of the old man’s son.
“May I have an opening bid,” the auctioneer requested. The room was silent. “Who will open the bidding with
$100?” he prompted. Minutes passed and still no one spoke.
“Who cares about that painting?” shouted a bidder from the back of the room.
“It’s just a picture of his son,” commented another. More voices echoed agreement. “Let’s forget it and go on to the
good stuff.”
“No, we have to sell this one first,” replied the auctioneer. “Now, who will take the son?”
Finally, a friend of the old man spoke. “I'd like to have the painting. I knew the boy. Will you take ten dollars for it?
That’s all I have.”
“I have ten dollars," called the auctioneer. “Will anyone go higher?” More silence. “Going once.” The auctioneer
raised the gavel. "Going twice," he said looking around for any takers. “Gone,” he said at last, letting the gavel fall.
Cheers filled the room. “Now we can get on with bidding on these treasures!” remarked the man from the back of the
room.
Over the microphone the auctioneer said. “Thank you for coming. The auction is now over.”
Stunned disbelief quieted the room.
“What do you mean it’s over?” growled an irate bidder.
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“We didn’t come here for a picture of some old guy’s son!” said another.
“What about all of these other paintings?” shouted the irate bidder coming to his feet. “There are millions of dollars
of art here! I demand that you explain what’s going on!”
“It’s very simple," replied the auctioneer. “According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son...gets it all.”
And that is the will of the Father today. Whoever takes the Son...gets it all. When you take Christ as Savior, you will
have the riches of life to its fullest. (John 10:10, Matthew 6:33) Jesus is God’s greatest treasure, his “pearl of great
price” (Matthew 13:45-46).
Bobby’s Valentines
Bobby was a special-education boy. He was just bright enough to remain in a regular classroom but was still
noticeably different. He was the constant butt of jokes by his classmates, but he never seemed to mind. Every day,
as the neighborhood kids walked home from school, Bobby’s mother would look out the window to see them all
laughing and joking together—all except Bobby. He was always walking behind the others, all alone. It was
obvious that the other children felt uncomfortable around Bobby and shunned him.
One day Bobby burst into the kitchen after school. “Mom, guess what?” he said. “Valentine’s Day is two weeks
away, and our teacher said we could make valentines and give them to the other kids in our class!”
His mother’s heart sank as she pictured yet another opportunity for Bobby to be excluded. “Mom,” Bobby
continued, “I’m going to make a valentine for every person in my class!”
“That’s very nice, Bobby,” his mother answered, fighting back the tears.
Over the next two weeks, Bobby worked every afternoon on those valentines. They were truly labors of love.
When the big day finally came, he was so excited about taking his valentines to school that he couldn’t eat
breakfast. But he was also a little worried.
“I hope I didn’t forget anybody,” he said as he dashed off to school.
Bobby’s mother made a fresh batch of his favorite cookies and prepared herself to comfort her son when he
returned home brokenhearted from the valentine exchange. She knew how disappointed he would be with the
response he got from the other children.
That afternoon she saw the same cluster of neighborhood kids walking home together. A half block behind them,
all alone, was Bobby. Bobby’s mother turned away and placed a plate of cookies on the table.
Much to her surprise, Bobby came through the door with a huge smile on his face. “What is it, Bobby?” she asked.
“How did it go?”
With a shout of pure joy, Bobby said, “Guess what, Mom! I didn’t forget a single kid!”
Bobby was so focused on giving that he didn’t consider the response he would get. He was so concerned about
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others that he was blind to the fact that he was being slighted.
Sometimes when we give, our motive is to make people think we’re wonderful or to prompt others to give
something in return. But that’s not the way of Christ.
Jesus gave his life for us knowing that we would “not receive him” (John 1:11). That’s agape, God’s love. It is
unconditional, unselfish, and given with no strings attached. “For God so loved the world that he gave...” (John
3:16), and he didn’t forget a single one of us.
May we all be more like Bobby.
Columbus’ Legacy
For hundreds of years before Christopher Columbus was born, the motto of Spain was ne plus ultra. This is Latin
for “no more beyond.” You see, the Spaniards believed that they'd already discovered everything worth
discovering.
One of the most beautiful monuments to Christopher Columbus today is a statue in Spain of a huge lion with the
words ne plus ultra underneath. However, the lion is eating the first word ne. All that can be read is “more
beyond.” This was Columbus's greatest legacy—he proved that there was more beyond.
Jesus, too, has shown us that there is more beyond. Like the Columbus monument's lion eating the words, the Lion
of Judah erased the notion that death was the end. Through Christ's death on the cross and resurrection from the
dead, we can all say with assurance that there is plus ultra--more beyond! “Death has been swallowed up in
victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of
sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:5457).
Dr. Drew’s Discovery
For much of its history, the United States of America has not been so united. For centuries, American society
was racially segregated. From schools to buses, public restrooms to drinking fountains, restaurants to churches,
the country was divided into black and white.
Hospitals were among the last institutions to desegregate because many people were afraid they might get the
“wrong blood” during a transfusion. They feared that if they received blood from a person of another color or
ethnicity, they might actually develop the characteristics of that race.
All that changed when Dr. Charles Drew came along.
In the 1930s Dr. Drew created the process we now use to make plasma. Plasma comes from blood, but it is not
type-specific, which means it can be used to treat bleeding patients without the need for whole blood.
Dr. Drew’s discovery was so noteworthy that he was asked to head the Blood for Britain campaign during
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World War II. After the war, Drew founded the American Blood Bank, which is still in operation today.
Ironically, Dr. Charles Drew died in 1950 at the age of 46 because he did not receive a blood transfusion or
blood plasma in time.
Dr. Drew was injured in an automobile accident and taken to a hospital that was still segregated—a hospital that
would not admit black people.
And since Dr. Drew was a black man, he bled to death.
Dr. Charles Drew dedicated his life to saving lives—yet he was unable to save his own.
Sound familiar?
When Jesus was hanging on the cross, the leaders of the religious establishment mocked him.”‘He saved
others,’ they said, ‘but he can’t save himself! He’s the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross
and we will believe in him!’” (Matthew 27:42).
It is only in retrospect that we can appreciate the injustice of Dr. Drew’s death. Because public policy has
changed, we may believe we’re different from the people of 1950. We cling to the belief that we would have
behaved in a more caring manner than those who turned Dr. Drew away during his time of need.
But can we be sure of that?
What about Jesus’ death on the cross? Are we any different today than those who mocked the Savior and drove
nails through his hands and feet? Unless we truly appreciate what he did for us, we aren’t different at all. We
have to put our faith in Jesus and make him Lord and Savior of our lives. Only then can we be changed by him
from the inside out.
A Great Man
History records that he was great man. Yet he had humble beginnings. He grew up in a small village, an ordinary boy
who did nothing to draw attention to himself.
Like most boys his age, he attended school. He also worked in the family business and did his best to grow up strong and
healthy. Deep inside, however, he knew he had a special purpose, a destiny to fulfill.
As he grew older people began to notice that there was something special about this young man. He had talent and
charisma. He was gifted like no other. It wasn’t long before he started attracting crowds. Thousands came to see and
listen to him.
He chose a small band of loyal companions who traveled with him everywhere he went. Many of them had given up
their jobs just to be with their idol and take care of his needs.
As his fame spread, some grew jealous of him. Others thought he was leading people astray, and they plotted against
him. But his popularity only increased. He touched the lives of young and old alike and brought joy and laughter to the
weak and downhearted. Many hailed him as king.
Toward the end of his short life, he suffered quite a bit. Some who had followed him fell away and turned to worshiping
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others.
He died alone. Those closest to him were left discouraged and confused. They never expected his life to end that way.
Soon after his death, there were rumors that he didn’t really die. His followers spread the news all around. “He lives!”
they said. “He is not dead!” Some claimed they actually saw him. Even today, many believe he is still alive.
By now, you’ve probably figured out who this great man was.
His name was Elvis Presley.
If you word things generally enough, you can find a lot of similarities between Jesus and Elvis. In fact, you can find a lot
of similarities between Jesus and you. That’s because Jesus was a human being, just like you. He was fully God, but he
was also fully human.
That’s where the similarities end, however. Elvis came to sing; Jesus came to save.
There is only one Jesus Christ, Son of God, who was born of a virgin, died on a cross for the sins of the world, rose again
on the third day, and today sits at the right hand of the Father, making intercession for everyone who calls on his name.
While others have been hailed as “king,” there is only one “King of King and Lord of Lords.” His name is Jesus.
The House in the Dark
The O’Learys and the MacMillans lived as neighbors at the turn of the century. One day a young man in a suit
came to their village to explain that they would soon have electricity for the first time. The MacMillans
responded with their typical enthusiasm and filled out the appropriate papers to have their house wired.
The O’Learys were more cautious. After all, they had lived for generations without electricity and had managed
just fine. They weren’t about to throw money after every passing fad. So they decided to wait. If electricity was
as good as everyone said, they could always sign up later.
In the weeks that followed, the MacMillans busily prepared their house for electrical power. They clamped
wires and sockets to the walls and hung bulbs from the ceiling.
When the big day finally came, the MacMillans invited their neighbors, including the O’Learys, to a grand
lighting party. With a dramatic flourish, Mr. MacMillan threw a switch and the bulbs began to glow for the first
time. The MacMillan house was illuminated more brightly than it had ever been lit before.
There was a gasp. “How lovely!” someone said.
Then another gasp. “How filthy!” someone else said.
It was true. No one had noticed it before in the dim light, but years of oil lamps had left a film of dingy soot
over everything. The walls were grimy, there were cobwebs in the corner, and dust covered the floor.
The O’Learys decided right then and there that they would never install electricity in their home. They would
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never suffer the humiliation of having their dirty home exposed by the light.
After the party, the MacMillans went to work. They scrubbed the soot off the walls and ceiling, cleaned the
cobwebs, and swept away the dust. They had indeed been embarrassed by their dirty home when the lights
came on, but within a day, their house was cleaner than it had ever been.
Meanwhile, the O’Learys continued to live comfortably in their dimly lit home filled with soot, cobwebs, and
filth.
Many people today choose to live in the dark. They don’t want anyone to see the dirt—what’s really going on
in their lives. Sometimes they don’t want to see it themselves. They avoid the light for fear that they will see
the truth and be forced to clean up their acts.
“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds
were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be
exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has
done has been done through God” (John 3:19-21).
Just Some Old Birds
Murmurs rippled through the congregation when Reverend George Thomas placed a rusty old bird cage on the
pulpit. The church members weren’t used to their pastor using props in his sermons—especially not on Easter
Sunday.
Sensing the congregation’s confusion, Reverend Thomas explained how he had obtained the cage.
It seems that the day before he had been walking through town when he noticed a young boy carelessly swinging
the cage around. Thomas noticed that there were three obviously frightened little birds inside the cage.
The pastor stopped the youngster and asked, “What have you got there, son?”
“Just some old birds,” came the reply.
“And what are you going to do with them,” he asked.
“Take ‘em home and have some fun with ‘em,” the boy said. “I’m gonna poke ‘em and pull out their feathers and
watch ‘em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time.”
“But those birds don’t belong to you,” said the pastor.
“They do now,” the boy responded. “I found ‘em and I can do anything I want with ‘em.”
“But you’ll get tired of playing with those birds, son. What will you do with them then?”
“Oh, I’ve got some cats,” grinned the boy. “They like birds. I’ll give ‘em to my cats.”
The pastor was silent for a moment. Then he asked, “How much do you want for those birds, son?”
“You don’t want these birds, mister,” said the boy. “They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing. They ain’t
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even pretty.”
“How much?”
The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, “Ten bucks.”
The pastor reached into his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy
was gone. The pastor set the cage down, opened the door, and gently coaxed the birds out, setting them free.
The congregation listened quietly as the pastor told of his encounter with the boy. Then he told them another
story.
One day Jesus and the devil were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, grinning
and boasting. “I just caught me a bunch of people down there. Set me a trap! Used bait I knew they couldn’t
resist! Got ‘em all!”
“What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.
“Oh, I’m gonna have fun with them. I’m gonna teach them how to hurt and abuse each other. I’ll teach them how
to marry and divorce each other, lie to each other, and kill each other. Oh, I’m gonna really have a good time!”
“But those people don’t belong to you,” said Jesus.
“They do now! I can do anything I want with them.”
“And what will you do when you get through with them?” asked Jesus.
“I’ll kill them.”
“How much do you want for them?”
“Oh, you don’t want these people,” said the devil. “They’re no good. You may love them, sure, but they’ll just
hate you back. They’ll spit on you, curse you, and kill you. You don’t want these people.”
“How much?” Jesus asked.
Satan sized up Jesus as if he were crazy and said, “Your life.”
The pastor ended his story this way: “Jesus paid the price. And on that first Easter Sunday morning, he picked up
the cage, opened the door, and set us free.”
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a
yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
The Puppy Nobody Wanted
The sign on the door said “Puppies for sale” and so the little boy went inside to look. The man inside the
pet shop showed him five little puppies that were ready now to leave their mother. They were about the
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cutest dogs the little boy had ever seen.
“How much are they?” the little boy asked.
The man replied, “Some are fifty dollars, some are more.”
The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. After counting it, he said, “I have a
dollar and forty-seven cents.”
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t sell you one of these puppies for a dollar and forty-seven cents, little boy. You’ll
have to save your money and come back next time we have more puppies for sale.”
About that time, the pet store owner’s wife brought out another puppy that had been hidden in the back of
the store. It was smaller than the other puppies, and had a bad leg. It couldn’t stand up very well, and
when it tried to walk, it limped very badly.
“What’s wrong with that puppy?” asked the little boy. The pet store owner explained that the veterinarian
had examined the puppy and had discovered it didn’t have a hip socket. It would always limp and always
be lame.
“Oh, I wish I had the money to buy that puppy!” exclaimed the little boy with excitement. “That’s the
puppy I would choose!”
“Well, that puppy is not for sale, son. But if you really want him, I’ll just give him to you. No charge.”
But the little boy got quite upset at this. He looked straight at the pet store owner and said, “No, I don’t
want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as the other dogs you have for sale.
I’ll give you a dollar and forty-seven cents now, and I’ll give you fifty cents a month until I have paid for
this dog in full.”
The pet store owner was perplexed. “You don’t really want to spend your money on this little dog, son.
He is never going to be able to run and play with you like the other puppies.”
Then the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg,
supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the pet store owner and said, “Mister, I don’t run and play
too good myself. I figure this little puppy is going to need someone like me who understands.”
Scripture says that you were “bought with a price.” Jesus paid a very high price for you when he went to
the cross. He did it because he loves you and wants you to be with him. And he understands what you are
going through. As it says in the book of Isaiah, he was the “Suffering Servant” who “bore our iniquities.”
He took all of the pain we deserve upon himself.
You may feel like an outcast, a nobody. You may think nobody likes you, that nobody wants you. You
may be suffering, going through difficult times. Through all of that, you can be sure that Jesus
understands. He knows exactly how you feel.
A Stranger at the Door
It was a snowy Christmas Eve. Inside the warm house, the Christmas tree was cheerfully ablaze with lights and
surrounded by dozens of presents.
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The man’s wife and children were dressed and ready to leave for church. “Come with us,” they urged, for they
loved him.
“Not me,” he snapped. “I don’t believe all that religion garbage.”
For many years the man’s wife had been trying to tell him about Jesus Christ and the salvation he offers. How
God’s Son had become a human being in order to show us the way to heaven.
“Nonsense,” the man always said.
The family left for church and the man was all alone in his cozy country home. He glanced out the window at
the cold snowy scene outside. He turned to warm himself by the fire.
But as he turned, his eyes caught a movement in the snow outside. He looked. Cats! Three young cats walking
slowly past his window.
“The fools,” he thought. “They’ll freeze for sure!” The man put on his hat and coat and opened the door. A
blast of wintry air sent a shiver through his body.
“Come here, cats! Come inside where there’s warmth and food. You’ll die out there.” But the cats ran away,
frightened by the stranger at the door.
He walked outside. “Come back! Don’t be afraid, I want to save you.”
But the cats were gone. It was too late.
“Well, I did everything I could for them,” the man muttered to himself. “What more could I do? I’d have to
become a cat myself in order to reach them and save them. If I became a cat, I could tell them and show them.
They would have to believe me then, unless they were fools.”
Just as he reached the door, the church bells rang in the distance. The man paused for a second and listened.
Then he went in by the fire, got down on his knees, and wept.
And that is what the Christmas story is all about. The Creator of the universe loved us so much that he came to
earth to show us how to be saved. And if we listen to him and follow him, we will not perish, but instead will
be given everlasting life. (John 3:16; Philippians 2:6-8)
Through Thick and Thin
The Sydney Swans were the joke of the Australian Rules football league. They had the worst record, the
worst players, the worst coach, and the worst fans. Most of their home games were played in front of empty
seats.
But a strange thing happened. The team got a new coach and a few new players—and started winning. Before
long, the team that had been the laughing stock of the league was a powerhouse.
And since everybody likes a winning team, you can imagine what happened next. The stands began to fill.
Thousands of people who had no interest in the team before began to attend games religiously. The Sydney
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Swans became the talk of the town. Everyone wanted to be identified with them.
Downtown Sydney was awash in the team’s colors, and people could be seen wearing Swans merchandise
everywhere! Soon it became almost impossible to get a ticket to a Swans game.
One Sunday afternoon the Swans were playing a rival team in front of a capacity crowd. As the TV cameras
zoomed in on the revelry and joy in the stands, one focused on a single man who was cheering and waving a
sign that he had obviously made himself. Grinning proudly, he held up his sign for all the world to see: I
WAS HERE WHEN NOBODY ELSE WAS!
What an awesome picture of Jesus. When you’re not winning, when all the odds are stacked against you,
when you’ve become the laughing stock of your school or family, when you feel like the biggest loser of all
time, Jesus is cheering you on. He’s there when nobody else is. “And surely I am with you always, to the
very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).
Wayward Sons
A Jewish man named Levi was troubled by the life his son had chosen, and he went to see his old friend Mordecai
about it.
“Mordecai,” he said, “I brought my son up in the Jewish faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, and paid a
fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he’s decided to be a Christian. Where did I go wrong?”
“Funny you should come to me,” said Mordecai. “I too brought my boy up in the faith, sent him to the best schools at
great expense, only to find that he converted to the Christian faith. I have been in great turmoil over this.”
The two men decided to ask their rabbi for advice.
“Funny you should come to me,” said the rabbi after hearing the men’s stories. “Like you two, I brought my boy up in
the faith and put him through the university, which cost me a fortune. Then one day he too tells me he has decided to
become a Christian.”
“And what did you do?” the men asked.
“I turned to God for the answer” replied the rabbi.
“And what did He say?” the two men questioned.
“He said, ‘Funny you should come to me...’”
The apostle Paul wrote, “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be
saved...Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes” (Romans 10:1, 4).
The good news of the gospel is for everyone. “The same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for,
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everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:12-13).
In our age of political correctness, we sometimes tend to avoid telling people about Jesus because we don’t want to
offend them. We may have been led to believe that there are many paths to God and that no one religion is better than
any other. But while it is important always to treat others with respect, the Bible does not support the claim that there
are many paths to God. Jesus himself said, “No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).
Paul continues in Romans 10 by writing, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can
they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?”
(10:14). It is the responsibility of every Christian to tell everyone we meet about Jesus, the only way to God.
LIFE
What Life?
He saw people love each other, and he saw that love made strenuous demands on the lovers. He saw that love required
sacrifice and self-denial. He saw that love produced arguments, jealousy, and sorrow. He decided that love cost too much.
He decided not to diminish his life with love.
He saw people strive for distant and hazy goals. He saw men strive for success and women strive for high ideals. He saw
that the striving was often mixed with disappointment. He saw strong and committed men fail, and he saw weak,
undeserving men succeed. He saw that striving sometimes forced people into pettiness and greed. He decided that it cost
too much. He decided not to soil his life with striving.
He saw people serving others. He saw men give money to the poor and helpless. He saw that the more they served, the
faster the need grew. He saw ungrateful receivers turn on their serving friends. He decided not to soil his life with serving.
When he died, he walked up to God and presented his life to him—undiminished, unmarred, unsoiled. The man was clean
and untouched by the filth of the world, and he presented himself to God proudly saying, “Here is my life!”
And God said, “Life? What life?”
God doesn’t want us to insulate ourselves from the pain and suffering of the world. When we love others, serve others, and
strive to be all that God wants us to be, we get dirty, we get hurt, we get used. But those are the battle scars that God wants
to see when we face him someday. God wants us to get in the game and get our uniforms dirty. That’s what Jesus did when
he came into the world. He didn’t choose to play it safe; neither should we. “To this you were called, because Christ
suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” (I Peter 2:21).
The Window
Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thayer, both seriously ill, shared a small room in a hospital. The room was just large enough for the
pair of them—two beds, two bedside lockers, a door opening on the hall, and one window looking out on the world.
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Mr. Wilson, as part of his treatment, was allowed to sit up in bed for an hour in the afternoon (something to do with
draining fluid from his lungs). His bed was next to the window. Mr. Thayer, however, had to spend all his time flat on
his back. Both of them had to remain quiet and still, which was the reason they were in the small room by themselves.
They were grateful for the peace and privacy, though. None of the bustle and clatter and prying eyes of the general ward
for them. Of course, one of the disadvantages of their condition was that they weren’t allowed to do much. No reading,
no radio, certainly no television. They had to pass their days quiet and still, just the two of them.
They passed the long morning hours talking about their wives, their children, their homes, their jobs, their hobbies, what
they did during the war, where they’d been on vacations. Every afternoon, however, when Mr. Wilson was propped up
for his hour, he would pass the time by describing what he saw happening through the window beside his bed. Mr.
Thayer began to live for that hour.
The window apparently overlooked a park with a lake where there were ducks and swans, children throwing them bread
and sailing model boats, and young lovers walking hand in hand beneath the trees. There were flowers and stretches of
grass, games of softball, people relaxing in the sunshine, and right at the back, behind the fringe of trees, there was a fine
view of the city skyline. Mr. Thayer would listen to all of this, enjoying every minute of it—a child nearly fell into the
lake, beautiful girls in their summer dresses strolled in the park, a ball game came to an exciting conclusion, a boy played
with his puppy. It got to the place that he could almost see what was happening outside.
One fine afternoon when there was a parade passing by, Mr. Thayer thought, Why should Wilson get to be next to the
window and have all the pleasure of seeing what was going on? Why shouldn’t I have the chance too? He felt ashamed
for thinking like that, but the more he tried to put the thought out of his mind, the more strongly he wanted to be the one
to see all those sights. He would do anything, he felt, for a chance to be by the window. Within a few days Mr. Thayer
had turned completely sour. He should be by the window. He lost sleep brooding about it and grew even more seriously
ill, which the doctors couldn’t understand.
One night as Mr. Thayer stared at the ceiling, Mr. Wilson suddenly awoke, coughing and choking, the fluid congesting in
his lungs. His hands groped for the call button that would bring the night nurse running. Mr. Thayer didn’t move. The
coughing racked on and on in the darkness. Mr. Wilson choked one final time, and then stopped breathing altogether.
Mr. Thayer continued to stare at the ceiling.
In the morning, when the day nurse came into the room with water for their baths, she found Mr. Wilson dead. With no
fuss, his body was quietly taken away.
As soon as it seemed decent, Mr. Thayer asked if he could be moved to the bed next to the window. The doctor agreed to
let him be moved, and the nurse tucked him in, making him quite comfortable. The minute he was left alone, he propped
himself up on one elbow, painfully and laboriously, to look out the window.
It faced a blank wall.
When you watch TV or go to the movies, do you ever get the feeling that everybody in the world is experiencing a lot
more of life than you are? That they are having all the fun, doing all the exciting things, winning all the prizes, getting all
the good stuff? That’s exactly what the media wants you to feel like. That’s what keeps you coming back for more.
When we live our lives vicariously through the media, which is many people’s window on the world, we begin to feel as
Mr. Thayer did—resentful and envious. We become dangerously self-centered. We begin to feel deprived of what should
rightfully be ours, and we become more and more dissatisfied with life.
More often than not, we’re taken in by the images of a reality that doesn’t exist—images the media projects on a blank
wall. These images represent a world that doesn’t exist. When we try to live like the images that we see or try to obtain
all the stuff that the commercials tell us to buy, we end up terribly disappointed. Why? Because it’s nothing more than an
illusion flickering on a blank wall.
Jesus came to set us free from illusion. He came so that we could live life to its fullest, as it really is. (See John 10:10.)
He doesn’t tease us with empty promises. Instead he came to tell us the truth about ourselves, the truth about the world
we live in, and the truth about God. “I am the way and the truth and the life…” (John 14:6).
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LIGHT/DARKNESS
In the Dark
A young soldier and his commanding officer got on a train together. The only available seats were across from an
attractive young lady who was traveling with her grandmother. As the four engaged in conversation, the soldier and the
young lady kept eyeing one another. There was an obvious mutual attraction.
Suddenly the train went into a tunnel, sending the train car into darkness. Immediately two sounds were heard: the smack
of a kiss followed by the whack of a slap across someone’s face.
The grandmother thought, I can’t believe he kissed my granddaughter, but I’m glad she gave him the slap he deserved.
The commanding officer thought, I don’t blame the boy for kissing the girl, but it’s a shame that she missed him and hit
me instead.”
The young girl thought, I’m glad he kissed me, but I wish my grandmother hadn’t slapped him for doing it.
And as the train broke into the sunlight, the soldier couldn’t help but smile. He had managed to kiss a pretty girl and slap
his commanding officer and get away with both!
It’s hard to get away with anything in the light. That’s why so many people love the darkness. (John 3:19)
The Littlest Candle
Once upon a time a little candle stood in a room filled with other candles, most of them much larger and much
more beautiful than she was. Some were ornate and some were rather simple, like herself. Some were white, some
were blue, some were pink, some were green. She had no idea why she was there, and the other candles made her
feel rather small and insignificant.
When the sun went down and the room began to get dark, she noticed a large man walking toward her with a ball
of fire on a stick. She suddenly realized that the man was going to set her on fire. “No, no!” she cried,
“Aaaaagghhh! Don’t burn me, please!” But she knew that she could not be heard and prepared for the pain that
would surely follow.
To her surprise, the room filled with light. She wondered where it came from since the man had extinguished his
fire stick. To her delight, she realized that the light came from herself.
Then the man struck another fire stick and, one by one, lit the other candles in the room. Each one gave out the
same light that she did.
During the next few hours, she noticed that, slowly, her wax began to flow. She became aware that she would soon
die. With this realization came a sense of why she had been created. “Perhaps my purpose on earth is to give out
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light until I die,” she mused. And that’s exactly what she did.
God created you and I to produce light in a dark world. Like that little candle, we all can produce the same amount
of light, no matter how small we are or what color we might be. But we can’t produce light until we receive it from
an outside source. That source is Jesus Christ, the light of the world.
Also like the little candle, we have to die in order to produce light. If we try to preserve ourselves, our lives will be
meaningless. But if we are willing to “lose our lives for Christ’s sake,” (Matthew 10:39) we will find our true
purpose and meaning.
The Mirror
Author Robert Fulghum tells this story of one of his professors, a wise man whose name was Alexander Papaderos.
At the last session on the last morning of a two-week seminar on Greek culture, Dr. Papaderos turned and made the ritual
gesture—“Are there any questions?”
Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for a lifetime, but for now, there was only
silence.
“No questions?” Papaderos swept the room with his eyes.
So, I asked.
“Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?”
The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.
Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and
seeing from my eyes that I was.
“I will answer your question.”
Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about
the size of a quarter. And he went something like this.
“When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I
found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.
“I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And
by scratching it on a stone, I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could
reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine—in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a
game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.
“I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge
of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child’s game but a metaphor for what I might
do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light—truth, understanding,
knowledge—is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.
“I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect
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light into the dark places of this world—into the black places in the hearts of men—and change some things in some
people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of life.”
And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright rays of daylight streaming through the
window and reflected them on my face and onto my hands folded on the desk.
(From It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It by Robert Fulghum. Copyright 1988, 1989 by Robert Fulghum. Adapted by
permission of Villard Books, a division of Random House, Inc.)
Jesus said, “I am the light of the world” (John 9:5) and as his followers, we are to be like that little mirror, reflecting the
light of Christ into the dark corners of the world. That is the meaning of the Christian life. “Let your light shine before
men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
LOVE
Are You God?
Shortly after World War II came to a close, Europe began picking up the pieces. Much of the Old Country had been
ravaged by war and was in ruins. Perhaps the saddest sight of all was that of little orphaned children starving in the
streets of those war-torn cities.
Early one chilly morning an American soldier was making his way back to the barracks in London. As he turned the
corner in his jeep, he spotted a little boy with his nose pressed to the window of a pastry shop. Inside, the cook was
kneading dough for a fresh batch of doughnuts. The hungry boy stared in silence, with his nose pressed against the
window, drooling and watching the cook’s every move. The soldier pulled his jeep to the curb, stopped, and got out.
“Son, would you like some of those?”
The boy was startled. “Oh yes…I would.”
The American stepped inside and bought a dozen, put them in a bag and walked back to where the lad was standing in
the foggy cold of the London morning. He smiled, held out the bag and said simply, “Here you are.”
As he turned to walk away, he felt a tug on his coat. He looked back and heard the child ask quietly, “Mister…are you
God?”
When we love people with no strings attached, we are doing something quite godly. We are demonstrating in a very
real way what God is like. God loves us with an unconditional, agape, love which is gracious and kind and rare.
Many people find it hard to believe in a God they can’t see. They want a God “with skin on.” That’s why God sent his
Son, Jesus—and that’s also why he established his church. We are God’s agents in the world—and when we are
serving others, and loving them with a godly love, we are showing people what God is like. We are helping them to
understand that God loves them like we do—only even more so.
Someone once said, “You may be the only Jesus a person ever sees.” That’s true. As Christians, it is an honor to be
able to represent Christ to the world. Let’s make sure we represent him accurately.
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The Blind Date
(A joke for guys to tell—in the first person, as if it happened to you.)
Since I was a little shy when I was in high school, I didn’t ask many girls out on dates. So my friend came up to me
one day and said, “Hey, I’ve lined you up with a great date for Saturday night. It’s all set.”
“Who is it?” I asked. It turned out to be his cousin Doris. I had never met her. In fact, I had never met any girl named
Doris. “Oh, no,” I said, “I’m not going on a blind date.”
“Hey, don’t worry about this one,” my friend said. “Doris is a terrific girl. And trust me—she’s a real looker. But if
you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you how to get out of the date if you don’t like the way she looks. This is what I do: I go
to a girl’s front door to pick her up, and when she opens the door, I check her out. If I like what I see, then great, we’re
all set. But if she’s ugly, I fake an asthma attack. I go ‘Aaahhhhgggggg!’ (Hold your throat like you’re having trouble
breathing.) The girl asks, ‘What’s wrong?’ And I say, ‘It’s my asthma.’ And so we have to call off the date. Just like
that. No problem.”
“Well, I don’t know...but okay, it sounds easy enough. I’ll do it,” I said.
So I went to pick up Doris. I knocked on the door, and she came to the front door. I took a look at her, and to my
surprise, my friend was right. She was beautiful! I stood there not knowing exactly what to say.
She took one look at me and went, “Aaahhhhgggggg!”
Chances are you’ve also been rejected by other kids because you weren’t good looking enough, or athletic enough, or
rich enough, or “cool” enough—whatever that is.
God doesn’t look at us that way, though. When he takes a look at us, he thinks we’re beautiful. He accepts us the way
we are. God isn’t concerned with how we look on the outside. He’s much more concerned about what’s inside: “Man
looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7b). God wants us to have a heart like
his—one that reaches out and loves all people, regardless of their looks.
The Boat in the Window
A young boy spent many hours building a little sailboat, crafting it down to the finest detail. He then took it
to a nearby river to sail it. When he put it in the water, however, it moved away from him very quickly.
Though he chased it along the bank, he couldn’t keep up with it. The strong wind and current carried the boat
away. The heartbroken boy knew how hard he would have to work to build another sailboat.
Farther down the river, a man found the little boat, took it to town, and sold it to a shopkeeper. Later that day,
as the boy was walking through town, he noticed the boat in a store window.
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Entering the store, he told the owner that the boat belonged to him. It had his own little marks on it, but he
couldn’t prove to the shopkeeper that the boat was his. The man told him the only way he could get the boat
was to buy it. The boy wanted it back so badly that he did exactly that.
As he took the boat from the hand of the shopkeeper, he looked at it and said, “Little boat, you’re twice mine.
I made you and I bought you.”
In the same way, we are twice God’s. Our Father in heaven both created us and paid a great price for us. (See
Colossians 1:16 and Romans 5:8.) With the blood of his Son, we have been redeemed and reunited with God.
Jesus Christ gave his life to get us back, yet so often we show such little gratitude for what he has done for
us.
Car Jacking Foiled!
Not long ago in California, an elderly woman went to the grocery store to do some shopping. When she returned
to her car, she noticed four men getting into it.
The woman dropped her shopping bags, reached into her purse, and pulled out a small handgun that she carried for
protection. She ran to the front of her car, aimed the pistol at the men, and began screaming at them at the top of
her lungs. She ordered them out of the car and warned that if they didn’t, she would blow their brains out.
“I know how to use this gun, and don’t think I won’t!” she screamed.
The four men didn’t hesitate. The threw open the car doors, scrambled out, and started running as fast as they
could.
The woman was trembling, but kept her composure. When she was certain the men were gone, she put the gun
back in her purse, picked up her bags, and loaded them into the back seat of the car. She then climbed into the
driver’s seat and decided to go immediately to the police station to report the incident.
But there was a small problem. Her key wouldn’t fit in the ignition. A quick glance around the interior confirmed
that she was in the wrong car! Her vehicle was parked four spaces away in the same aisle of the parking lot.
She loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station to confess what she had done. When she told
the story to the sergeant, he couldn’t control his laughter. He just pointed to the other end of the counter where
four very shaken men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly white woman.
The woman apologized, and no charges were filed.
Things are not always as they first appear, are they? Have you ever jumped to conclusions about someone only to
later find out that you were badly mistaken? You may not have pulled a gun, but you may have hurt someone with
unkind words or gestures. You may have spread a rumor that wasn’t true or refused to include someone in your
circle of friends.
Like the woman in the parking lot, many of us have a tendency to assume the worst about people. We don’t think;
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we just “know” that we are right and they are wrong. Until we find out otherwise.
Jesus taught his disciples to avoid judging others or accusing them falsely (see Matthew 7:1; John 7:24). If you
follow that example, you won’t have to worry about being embarrassed or having to apologize later.
Giving It Up for a Friend
Kay Poe and Esther Kim grew up as best friends and fierce competitors. Their sport was tae kwon do, a form
of martial arts that was featured for the first time in the 2000 Sydney Olympics. As Kay and Esther got older,
they found themselves in different weight classes, so they rarely met in competition. In the pre-Olympic
trials they were each favored to win their classes.
There was just one problem. The United States would be sending representatives from only two of the four
weight classes to the Olympics, so only one of them would be able to go to Sydney.
In the final moments of the final bout in her weight class Kay seriously dislocated her kneecap. In spite of
her injury, she fought strongly enough to win the match and her division. As she hobbled off the floor her
Olympic dreams seemed over. She still had one more match to win—this one against her friend Esther Kim.
Esther saw her coach carrying her friend Kay back to the dressing room. The outcome of the final match was
a no-brainer. All Esther had to do was show up, and she was on her way to the Olympics. Her injured friend
didn’t have a chance. Esther knew that she, not Kay, would be going to the Olympics.
But in a moment of incredible love and sacrifice, Esther made a decision to bow out of the final match and
concede victory to her injured friend. She gave up her Olympic dream so that Kay could realize hers.
When Esther informed Kay of her decision, Kay protested.
“Don’t you dare argue with me about this,” Esther told her. They held each other and cried. “Please don’t
think I’m throwing my dreams away,” Esther said, “because I’m not. I’m putting my dreams in you.”
Esther signed the scorecard, withdrawing from the match. Then the two friends had to bow to each other on
the mat to make it official. Kay’s coach helped her walk to one side of the mat. Esther walked to the other.
By the time they reached the referee in the middle, tears flowed freely. The two young women bowed. The
referee signaled Poe the winner. Then the women locked arms, sobbing. As they slowly walked off the mat
together, the tae kwon do officials stood and bowed while fans applauded them both
Esther later told stunned reporters, “There’s more than one way to be a champion.”
Esther Kim may not have competed in the Olympic Games, but she is a champion nonetheless. Not only is
she a champion in her chosen sport, she’s a champion in love. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this,
that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Esther laid down her life’s dream so that her friend
could have hers. That makes her a champion indeed.
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The Kiss
In his book Mortal Lessons (Touchstone Books, 1987) physician Richard Selzer describes a scene in a hospital room after he
had performed surgery on a young woman’s face:
I stand by the bed where the young woman lies…her face, postoperative…her mouth twisted in palsy…clownish. A tiny twig
of the facial nerve, one of the muscles of her mouth, has been severed. She will be that way from now on. I had followed
with religious fervor the curve of her flesh, I promise you that. Nevertheless, to remove the tumor in her cheek, I had cut this
little nerve. Her young husband is in the room. He stands on the opposite side of the bed, and together they seem to be in a
world all their own in the evening lamplight…isolated from me…private.
Who are they? I ask myself…he and this wry mouth I have made, who gaze at and touch each other so generously. The
young woman speaks. “Will my mouth always be like this?” she asks. “Yes,” I say, “it will. It is because the nerve was cut.”
She nods and is silent. But the young man smiles. “I like it,” he says. “It’s kind of cute.”
All at once I know who he is. I understand, and I lower my gaze. One is not bold in an encounter with the divine. Unmindful,
he bends to kiss her crooked mouth, and I am so close I can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate to hers…to show
her that their kiss still works.”
God accommodated himself to us by coming down from heaven as a little baby. He came to us, and then he allowed his body
to be twisted on the cross to show us that the love of God still works. Regardless of the scars that you bear from the ravages
of sin, you are loved by God. You are beautiful to him. You were created in his image, and you bear the likeness of his Son.
He will never stop loving you. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son” (John 3:16).
Mother Teresa
A tiny woman in a white sari peered over a podium across a sea of influential leaders who had come to the National
Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C.
“It is not enough for us to say, ‘I love God,’ but I also have to love my neighbor. St. John says that you are a liar if you
say you love God and you don't love your neighbor. How can you love God whom you do not see, if you do not love
your neighbor whom you do see, whom you touch, with whom you live? It is also very important for us to realize that
love, to be true, has to hurt. I must be willing to give whatever it takes not to harm other people and, in fact, to do good
to them. This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise, there is no true love in me and I bring injustice,
not peace, to those around me.”
In these few words, spoken in 1994, Mother Teresa preached what she had spent a lifetime living.
Like any celebrity, Mother Teresa’s public image was shaped by the media for mass consumption: peacemaker,
servant, saint. She was worthy of these titles, but there was more to her that did not make headlines. Many world
leaders who met her came expecting to be blessed, but they received a lecture instead. In her passionate love for God’s
children, she spoke boldly against policies that persecute his children—violence, oppression, abortion. This judgmental
side of her seemed out of character to some. On the contrary, it was evidence of her integrity. Deep love fosters deep
conviction, righteous actions are the prerequisite to true authority. Mother Teresa could say what she said because she
had lived her words first.
She comforted the dying. She didn’t seek power, fortune or fame, but in her meekness, she received the prayers of the
world and the respect of its most powerful leaders. She counted the cost of following Jesus, and then followed him
wholeheartedly, leading thousands of men and women to do the same.
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Above all, Mother Teresa loved God. We don’t have to read her own words to know that. We have pictures to prove
it—photographs of this remarkable servant of God as she held dying children, hugged lepers, caressed tired and weary
faces with broken teeth and wrinkled cheeks, greeting everyone in God’s name. The world caught Mother Teresa in the
act of loving God: loving in action, loving till it hurt.
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:
Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:36-39).
New Ears
Guy Dowd tells this story:
Danny was born with no ears. He could hear all right, but he didn’t have ears like normal people. All his life, Danny
endured ridicule and rejection because of his deformity. But he learned to live with it. Thankfully, he had loving parents and
a strong family to sustain him.
When Danny was in high school, his doctor told him of a new procedure that made it possible to transplant ears from one
person to another. That meant Danny could get new ears if someone who was compatible to him ever donated theirs.
This was exciting news. After all, people donated body parts all the time—hearts, lungs, kidneys. But Danny soon found
that donor ears were extremely scarce.
Danny didn’t give up hope, however. He knew that someday he would get new ears. He graduated from high school with
honors and was accepted at a major university thousands of miles away. He kissed his parents good-bye and began his life
as a college student. Again, though, he found it hard to make friends and fit in because of his ears.
One day he got a phone call from his father. “Go to the hospital tomorrow, Danny. A donor has been found.”
The very next day Danny checked into the university hospital where doctors were ready to perform the surgery. A few hours
later, Danny had new ears.
When the bandages came off, Danny gazed into the mirror for hours. He finally had ears like normal people. For the first
time in his life, he wasn’t ashamed of the way he looked. He not only had new ears, he had a new life.
A few weeks later, Danny received another phone call from his father. “Son, your mother is very ill,” his father said. “She
may not live through the night.”
Danny was on the first plane home. When he arrived, his father gave him the sad news that his mother had died.
Together they went to the funeral home, where Danny was able to see his mother for the last time. He leaned over to kiss her
cheek. Brushing her hair back from her face, he noticed that she had no ears.
It was a mother’s incredible love that provided Danny with new ears. And it was a Father’s incredible love that provided us
with new life. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans
5:8).
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Onion Breath
For a long time Jerry had admired Kate—a really attractive girl who rarely dated anyone. He dreamed of dating her, but
it took him weeks to work up the courage to ask her out. When he did, he was surprised at how graciously and warmly
she accepted. He wished he’d asked sooner. He learned she was an outgoing person, fun to be with, and she seemed to
enjoy his company.
The following week Kate readily accepted Jerry’s invitation to a second date, which turned out even better than the
first—until they stopped for something to eat. Embarrassed, he told her he couldn’t afford much besides hamburgers.
She assured him that she loved hamburgers. Unfortunately for Jerry, she hated the smell and taste of onions. In fact, she
was allergic to them. This was a real problem because Jerry just had to have onions on his hamburger! He loved onions!
Suddenly faced with this dilemma, Jerry pondered what to do. Do I order onions? What’s more important to me? The
girl or the onions?
Kate clearly liked him and wanted to continue the relationship. She was everything he ever wanted in a girl. But to give
up onions! Boy, I sure do like onions, Jerry thought to himself. Maybe I can have both.
It was time to order. He had to make a decision. “Two hamburgers, please. Hold the onions...on one of them.”
Jerry never saw Kate again. She didn’t return his phone calls or seek him out at school. Their relationship was clearly
over. Sadly, he discovered to late that you just can’t have your Kate and eat onions, too.
Some behaviors are no big deal to people. Like eating onions—as long as no one cares you’re eating them, they taste
good But if eating onions offends the one you love, then eating onions is wrong.
The Bible teaches us that some things are pleasing to God and other things are not. For example, Colossians 3:20 says,
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Of course, plenty of kids disregard that
commandment and get away with it—but Christians want to please the Lord. That means they do their best to be
obedient.
Do you really love the Lord? Then do what pleases him.
You’re Gonna Die
A sick man went to the doctor’s office with his wife. The doctor examined the man and ran some tests while his
wife waited in the reception area. When the doctor emerged with a concerned look on his face, the wife became
anxious.
“Doctor, will my husband be okay?” she inquired.
“I’m afraid your husband is very ill,” the doctor replied. “He has a rare form of anemia, and if it is left untreated, he
will most certainly die from it. However, there is a cure.”
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“A cure?”
“Yes. With rest and proper nutrition, the disease will go into remission and your husband should live for many
more years. Here’s what I want you to do: Take your husband home and treat him like a king. Fix him three homecooked meals a day, and wait on him hand and foot. Bring him breakfast in bed. Don’t let him do anything that you
can do for him. If he needs something, you take care of it. Give him a back rub in the morning and full-body
massage every evening. Oh, and one more thing. Because his immune system is weak, you’ll need to keep your
home spotless at all times. Do you have any questions?”
The wife had none.
“Do you want to break the news to your husband, or shall I?” asked the doctor.
“I will,” the wife replied.
She walked into the examination room. The husband, sensing that something was wrong, said, “It’s bad, isn’t it?
What have I got?”
His wife answered with a tear in her eye, “The doctor said you’re gonna die.”
Some of us are like the wife in this humorous story—we say we love others, but we bow out when it comes to
putting that love into action. Jesus loved us by serving us and laying down his life for us. His love in action brings
opens up the way for us to have an abundant life. Do you care about others the way Jesus cares about you? When
we turn our backs on those who don’t know Christ because we don’t want to be inconvenienced, it’s like we’re
saying to them, “Too bad. You’re gonna die.” True love requires action.
PURPOSE/MEANING
The Greyhound Races
Greyhound racing, a popular betting sport in some parts of the country, attracts crowds who enjoy watching
incredibly sleek and beautiful dogs run as fast as they can around a track. Unlike racehorses, greyhounds run
without the assistance of a jockey. To keep the dogs running in the right direction, they are trained to chase a
mechanical rabbit made of fur as it zips along the track in front of them. A man in the press box electronically
controls the speed of the rabbit, keeping the rabbit just out in front of the dogs. The dogs never catch up to it.
At a Florida track some years back, a big race was about to begin. The dogs crouched in their cages, ready to
go, while betting spectators finished placing their wagers. At the proper moment, the gun went off. The man in
the press box pushed his lever, starting the rabbit down the first stretch, while the cage doors flew open,
releasing the dogs to take off after the little rabbit. As the rabbit made the first turn, however, an electrical short
in the system caused the rabbit to come to a complete stop, to explode, and to go up in flames. Poof! All that
was left was a bit of black stuff hanging on the end of a wire.
Their rabbit gone, the bewildered dogs didn’t know how to act. According to news reports, several dogs simply
stopped running and laid down on the track, their tongues hanging out. Two dogs, still frenzied with the chase,
ran into a wall, breaking several ribs. Another dog began chasing his tail, while the rest howled at the people in
the stands.
Not one dog finished the race.
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Like racing greyhounds, people pursue their chosen rabbit. Humans need some reason for living—for running
the race. What is your goal, your purpose in life, your hope? What if it were taken away? Sadly, many young
people chase an illusion, a mechanical rabbit of sorts, that ultimately turns out to offer no hope at all.
Paul the apostle wrote out what kept him motivated to run the race: “For to me, to live is Christ” (Philippians
1:21). Jesus is the only one who can give us lasting purpose, meaning, and hope. Paul later wrote, “I press on
toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).
To know Christ is the only lasting, eternal goal.
The Littlest Candle
Once upon a time a little candle stood in a room filled with other candles, most of them much larger and much
more beautiful than she was. Some were ornate and some were rather simple, like herself. Some were white, some
were blue, some were pink, some were green. She had no idea why she was there, and the other candles made her
feel rather small and insignificant.
When the sun went down and the room began to get dark, she noticed a large man walking toward her with a ball
of fire on a stick. She suddenly realized that the man was going to set her on fire. “No, no!” she cried,
“Aaaaagghhh! Don’t burn me, please!” But she knew that she could not be heard and prepared for the pain that
would surely follow.
To her surprise, the room filled with light. She wondered where it came from since the man had extinguished his
fire stick. To her delight, she realized that the light came from herself.
Then the man struck another fire stick and, one by one, lit the other candles in the room. Each one gave out the
same light that she did.
During the next few hours, she noticed that, slowly, her wax began to flow. She became aware that she would soon
die. With this realization came a sense of why she had been created. “Perhaps my purpose on earth is to give out
light until I die,” she mused. And that’s exactly what she did.
God created you and I to produce light in a dark world. Like that little candle, we all can produce the same amount
of light, no matter how small we are or what color we might be. But we can’t produce light until we receive it from
an outside source. That source is Jesus Christ, the light of the world.
Also like the little candle, we have to die in order to produce light. If we try to preserve ourselves, our lives will be
meaningless. But if we are willing to “lose our lives for Christ’s sake,” (Matthew 10:39) we will find our true
purpose and meaning.
The Man Who Changed the World
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Once upon a time, a man set out to change the world. Before long he discovered that the world was
far too big for one person to change. So he decided to change his country. Crooked politicians and
special interest groups unfortunately thwarted his efforts, so he decided to change his
neighborhood. But his neighbors simply closed their doors and shut their windows, so he decided
to change his family. Instead of changing, his children rebelled and his wife threatened a divorce
and things only got worse.
Finally, the man decided to change himself.
And when he did that, he changed the world.
Change starts with you.
PRAYER
God’s Donuts
An overweight man decided it was time to shed some pounds. He informed his coworkers that he was going on a diet
and would no longer be bringing donuts to the office. He knew it would be hard to resist stopping at the bakery on the
way to work, but he committed himself to remaining strong and resisting temptation.
His coworkers were surprised one morning to see him arrive at the office with a big box of donuts. When they reminded
him of his diet, he just smiled.
“These are very special donuts,” he explained. “When I left for the office this morning, I knew I was going to drive by
the bakery, and I wondered if maybe the Lord might want me to have some donuts today. I wasn’t sure, so I prayed,
‘Lord, if you want me to stop and buy some donuts, let there be an open parking place directly in front of the bakery.’
As you know, parking places in front of that bakery are hard to get!”
“So the parking place was there?” one of his coworkers asked.
“It was a miracle,” the man replied. “The eighth time around the block, there it was!”
We need to remember that God’s will is not always our will. When we pray for God’s will to be done, we shouldn’t be
trying to manipulate God into rubber-stamping what we have already decided to do. The Bible tells us that our hearts
are wicked and “deceitful above all things” (Jeremiah 17:9). Most of the time, what we want to do is not what God
wants us to do.
Jesus did not want to die on the cross, but rather than demanding his way, he prayed, “Father...not my will, but yours be
done” (Luke 22:42). God always knows what’s best for us. We must submit ourselves to doing what he wants, not what
we want.
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Jimmy’s Ranch
When Jimmy was a little boy, he wanted to be a cowboy. He spent countless hours in front of the television, watching
reruns of “Gunsmoke” and “Bonanza.” He just knew that someday he would live on a ranch, wear a big cowboy hat,
and ride the range just like all his cowboy heroes.
When he was seven years old, Jimmy said, “Dad, I want to be a cowboy when I grow up. Will you help me be a
cowboy?”
“Sure, son,” said his dad, smiling down at his little cowpoke. As the years went by, Jimmy grew into a fine young
man. As you might expect, he outgrew his childhood fantasy of becoming a cowboy, and turned instead to girls,
sports, studying, and preparing himself for a career in the business world.
One day Jimmy went to his father again and said, “Dad, I want to go to college and get a good education. Will you
help me?”
His dad said, “College? Son, you can’t go to college. When you were seven, you said you wanted to be a cowboy. So I
bought you a ranch in Texas with 50 head of cattle! There’s no money for you to got to college. Besides, you need to
take care of that ranch. It’s all yours.”
“But Dad!” said Jimmy. “I was just a child when I said that! I didn’t know then what I know now! I don’t want a
ranch! I want an education!”
Have you ever wondered why God doesn’t answer your prayers exactly the way you want him to? Maybe it’s because
we’re like Jimmy. As God’s children, we don’t always know what’s best for us.
Instead of grumbling about “unanswered” prayers, we should be thankful God doesn’t always answer our prayers the
way we think he should. If he did, we might end up like Jimmy—with a ranch instead of an education. God knows
exactly what you need, even when you don’t. In fact, the Bible teaches that when you pray, the Holy Spirit actually
prays for you, too. (Romans 8:26-28) Because of this, we can relax and know that whatever happens will be according
to God’s will.
Psychiatric Hot Line
A man experiencing a crisis in his life called the toll-free Psychiatric Hot Line listed in the phone directory. This
is what he heard:
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hot Line.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, repeatedly press 1.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, and 5.
If you are suffering from paranoia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line until we trace the
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call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are bipolar, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are depressed, push any button you wish. It won’t make any difference anyhow.
Thank you for your call.
Next time you need help, keep in mind that God always hears and answers your prayers. When you call on God,
you aren’t going to get a voice-mail system, nor will you be put on hold. God wants you to come to him every
day to tell him what’s on your mind.
And if you’re in the middle of a crisis, remember that you’re not the only one who can pray you through it—
people in your church will pray with you and for you. That’s why the church is called the Body of Christ. The
church is the visible presence of Jesus in the world, providing advice and support based on Jesus’ teaching. In the
same way that Jesus cares about you, members of your church care. Professional counseling is appropriate, of
course, when you face serious problems; but Christians have been commanded to “bear each others’ burdens”
(Galatians 6:2).
The Tomato Frog
Deep in the Costa Rican jungle lives the small tomato frog. Red in color like a tomato, he has a unique defense
against predators. Once he’s attacked, he emits a deadly, milky white poison all over his skin. As the attacking
animal bites into a tomato frog, it tastes the poison and spits the frog out of its mouth.
Unfortunately, by the time the predator spits out the frog, the traumatized amphibian dies anyway.
Without question, the tomato frog’s poison is effective. The only problem is—it’s too late. It’s utterly useless in
protecting the tomato frog safe because it’s activated after an attack and after the damage is done.
Believers in Jesus often suffer from the tomato frog’s bane. We wait to pray and employ our spiritual defenses or
offenses until after Satan has already attacked and caused damage in our lives. Only after making a bad decision,
breaking a significant relationship, or committing a sin with long-term consequences do we call on the Lord for
help. Of course, God can help us in times of trouble. Yet we do ourselves a favor to be in constant prayer and
devotion so that the enemy is repelled before the damage is done.
Too Polite
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Hannah Whitall Smith tells the story of the man who was walking along a road, carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders.
A wagon overtook him and the driver kindly offered to give the man a ride. The man happily accepted the offer, but even
when he was seated on the wagon, he continued to carry the heavy load on his shoulders.
Perplexed, the kindhearted wagon driver said, “Sir, why don’t you put down your burden? There’s plenty of room.”
“Oh, no,” said the man. “I feel it’s almost too much to ask you to carry me. I wouldn’t think of asking you to carry my
burden also.”
(From The Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life, Hannah Whitall Smith, as quoted in Safe within Your Love: A 40-day
Journey in the Company of Hannah Whitall Smith, David Hazard. Bethany House, 1992.)
Maybe you are like that man. You’ve allowed Christ to carry you—to be your Savior—but you are unwilling to entrust
certain areas of your life to his care. Jesus wants control of your whole life: “Come unto me all you who labor and are
heavily burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). If there are problems in your life too heavy for you to bear
alone, give them to Jesus. He will carry your load.
REPENTANCE
A Little Problem
John 1:9).
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SACRIFICE
Amy Carmichael
As a young Irishwoman working in England in the late 1800s, Amy Carmichael decided to answer God’s call to
serve in the mission field. Twice rejected for medical reasons, she eventually found a mission agency willing to put
her on a ship and send her to India. She arrived with a tropical fever and a temperature of 105. Some missionaries
who met her believed she wouldn't last six months. But Amy recovered, and she never went home.
The young missionary soon discovered that the way to reach the Indian people was not through preaching but
through sacrifice. She wrote, “If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me, if my fellows hesitate to ask it and
turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”
So she reached out to the poorest, youngest, and most despised among them, especially the babies and children given
to the Hindu temples who were forced to serve as slaves and were tortured if they were caught trying to escape. She
said, “There were days when the sky turned black for me because of what I heard and knew was true. Sometimes it
was as if I saw the Lord Jesus Christ kneeling alone, as he knelt long ago under the olive trees. And the only thing
that one who cared could do was to go softly and kneel down beside him, so that he would not be alone in his sorrow
over the little children.”
Amy not only felt sorrow for the children, but she was spurred to action. She rescued them, built a home, and
recruited a staff to care for them. The ministry became known as Dohnavur Fellowship, and the children called its
headmistress Amma—the Tamil word for mother. To those who profited from the enslavement practices, she was
known as “the white woman who steals children.”
Amy Carmichael’s mission trip ended 55 years later, when she died at the age of 83. During that time she rescued
over 1,000 abused, abandoned, and enslaved children. And though her stories, prayers, and devotions filled 35 books
back in Britain, not once did she return to hear the praises of her friends and supporters. To Amy anything that called
attention to herself stole attention from the God she served. In fact in 1919, her name was published in a British
honors list. When she found out about it, she wrote back to England asking to have her name removed. It troubled
her to “have an experience so different from his who was despised and rejected—not kindly honored.”
Ironically, the woman who wanted no honor other than that of being Christ’s servant became famous nonetheless, as
tens of thousands of readers in Britain and America were moved by her writings. Her example of sacrificial love has
encouraged countless numbers of Christians to follow her into the mission field.
Many around the world are crying out right now against injustice, poverty, and prejudice. As God's children we are
called to carry each another's burdens (Galatians 6:2). Jesus himself told us that when we care for “the least of
these,” we do it for him (Matthew 25:31-46).
The Bear in the Cave
Two adventurous teenage boys who were good friends were out spelunking (exploring caves) when they found
what appeared to be huge bear tracks deep inside a long, cavernous tunnel. They bravely decided to keep going,
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but they moved ahead slowly and with extreme caution, keeping their eyes and ears open in case they actually
encountered a bear.
Suddenly, from the darkness behind a rock jumped the biggest, meanest-looking grizzly bear they had ever seen.
Standing squarely in front of them, the bear beat on his chest and roared like a lion, sending a terrible sound
echoing off the walls of the cave. Scared to death, the two boys decided they had better run for their lives. They
immediately turned to make a dash for daylight.
Just then, one of the boys dropped to the floor and started untying his hiking boots. He whipped the boots off,
jammed on his running shoes, and began tying the laces.
His exasperated friend yelled at him, “Come on, man! Let’s get out of here! Why in the world are you changing
shoes? We don’t have much of a chance of outrunning that bear anyway!”
Lunging to his feet and starting to run, the first boy replied, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. All I have to do is
outrun you.”
Do you ever feel like your friends treat you like bear bait? When the going gets rough, they bail out on you.
They remain friends with you until it costs them something—then they ditch you.
One of the great things about having Christ as your friend is knowing that he will never leave you nor forsake
you. (See Matthew 28:20 and Hebrews 13:5.) He is the friend who is not only willing to lay down his life for
you, but he has done exactly that. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”
(John 15:13).
One Amazing Kid
If you saw Daniel Huffman at the local McDonald’s, you’d never realize what an outstanding and unusual young
man he was. When he was 17, he stood 6 feet 2 inches tall, weighed 275 pounds, and football meant the world to
him. He was a defensive lineman for his high school team in Rossville until his senior year. In July of that year,
Daniel decided to skip his senior year of football to give his ailing grandmother one of his kidneys.
That’s right, a kid who loved football set it aside to give life to another. People who know Daniel would tell you he
was just that kind of kid. He was an honor-roll student, member of the school chorus, class vice president, writer of
poetry, cocaptain of the football team, and he’s also The Screamer—a one man pep rally!
Yet he had no designs on stardom. Daniel once told his team’s star running back, “It will be my privilege to block
for you.” That’s how Daniel was. He really believed it was a privilege to help others. He loved to set the stage for
others’ good and blessing. So, it wasn’t out of character for him to give one of his kidneys to his diabetic grandma
who had raised him since eighth grade.
High school students are great. They can do wonderful deeds of kindness in this world, and their hearts can be as
big as Texas. Here’s what’s great about Daniel’s case—even though he had to quit the football team, the team
didn’t quit on him. As he recovered from surgery, the team insisted he wear his jersey each Friday. And that he ride
on the senior players’ float at homecoming. And that he make the speech at the pep rally before the game. On
Friday nights, people at the games could hear his voice all over the field. “C’mon, everybody!” he’d shout to his
teammates.
One Sports Illustrated writer said, “It’s funny, how somebody who wasn’t even playing could be the toughest kid
on the team.” Doctors said he’d recover from the operation, and his kidney would soon be twice the size it used to
be. Knowing this the writer said, “They may be able to measure the size of his kidney, but they still haven’t figured
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out how to measure Daniel’s heart.
It would be enough if that was the entire story, but it’s not. Daniel had always dreamed of playing for the
powerhouse Florida State University football team someday. When Daniel donated his kidney, that became
impossible. Still, during his freshman year of college, Daniel found himself right in the middle of the Florida State
Seminoles football team every Saturday afternoon. He was a student trainer. How did that happen?
The December following his senior year, as he was receiving an award at Walt Disney World for most courageous
student athlete of the year, Daniel mentioned to the crowd that he was a huge Seminoles fan. Florida State
Seminoles’ head coach, Bobby Bowden, heard about Daniel and arranged a full scholarship to the university for
Daniel and gave him a position on the team as a trainer.
FSU head trainer Randy Oravetz says they don’t regret their decision. “I feel lucky the kid’s working for me,” Ray
said. Daniel feels lucky too—mentioning that he feels a little like Forrest Gump. “I’ve gotten to work for Bobby
Bowden and travel and meet all these people. It’s like a fairy tale.”
And here’s the icing on the cake. In 1999 Daniel’s story was told in Gift of Love: The Daniel Huffman Story, a
made-for-TV movie. The entire nation was inspired by his kindness, sacrifice, and love.
How many of us are willing to sacrifice what we most enjoy for another person? But that’s exactly what Christ asks
of us. If we want to be Jesus’ disciples, if we truly want to follow him, then we may be asked to give up the very
things we cherish the most. We can choose not to, settling for lukewarm Christianity. Or we can let go, surrendering
all to the one who gave up everything for us. Perhaps doing the hardest thing, sacrificing self, is also the most
Christ-like we can ever be. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
SALVATION
All-Points Bulletin
Thousands of cars are stolen every year in California, but in 1981, there was one car theft that made all the local
papers and was the lead story on the evening news. The police had issued an all-points bulletin to find the missing
car and to make contact with the person who stole it.
Why was this car theft getting so much attention?
The owner of the stolen car had informed the police that on the front seat of the car was a box of crackers laced
with a deadly poison. The car owner had planned to use the crackers as rat bait. So the police were desperately
trying to find the thief—not to punish him, but to save his life. They were afraid he would eat one of the crackers
and die.
In the same way, our Heavenly Father pursues us—not because he wants to punish us but because he wants to save
us. You may be running away from God because—like the car thief—you are a sinner. You have broken God’s
law. But what you may not realize is that God is trying to rescue you, not condemn you. The penalty for your sin
has been paid by Jesus Christ on the cross, and God wants to give you your freedom. So stop running and turn
yourself in. Your life is at stake!
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The Art Auction
Years ago a wealthy man shared a passion for art collecting with his devoted young son. Together they traveled
around the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by the likes of Picasso, Van
Gogh, and Monet adorned the walls of the family estate.
The widowed elder man looked on with satisfaction as Mark, his only child, became an experienced art collector. The
son’s trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors
around the world.
As winter approached, war engulfed their nation, and Mark left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his
father received a telegram: his beloved son had died saving the life of a fellow soldier. Distraught and lonely, the old
man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season, a season that he and his
son always looked forward to, would visit his house no longer.
On Christmas morning a knock on the door awakened the old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art
on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home. At the door was a soldier with a large package.
“I was a friend of Mark,” the soldier said. “I was the one he rescued. If I may I come in for a few moments, I have
something to show you.”
The two were soon deep in conversation. From the soldier the old man learned that Mark had rescued dozens of
wounded soldiers before a bullet stilled his caring heart. The unfolding image of his son's gallantry awakened a
fatherly pride that eased his grief. The soldier then recounted how often Mark had spoken of his father’s love of fine
art. Placing the package on the old man's lap, the soldier told him, “I’m an artist. I want you to have this.”
The old man unwrapped the package, pulling the paper away to reveal a portrait of his son. The canvas featured the
young man’s face in striking detail, though the world would never consider the painting the work of a genius.
Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier.
Once the soldier had departed, the old man set about hanging the portrait above the fireplace, pushing aside paintings
by masters that had cost thousands of dollars. Then seating himself in his chair, he spent Christmas gazing at the gift
he had been given. In the weeks that followed, the man grew peaceful realizing that Mark lived on because of those
he had touched. The soldier's gift soon became his most prized painting, its worth to him far eclipsing the value of the
pieces in his collection for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift
he had ever received.
The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world stirred in anticipation of the public
auction of the old man's estate. He had stipulated that his collection be sold on Christmas Day—the day he had
received his greatest gift. On the appointed day art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on the
spectacular paintings. Many who coveted the reputation of owning the greatest art collection waited eagerly for the
auctioneer to open the bidding.
The auction began with a painting not on any museum’s must-have list—the soldier's painting of the old man’s son.
“May I have an opening bid,” the auctioneer requested. The room was silent. “Who will open the bidding with
$100?” he prompted. Minutes passed and still no one spoke.
“Who cares about that painting?” shouted a bidder from the back of the room.
“It’s just a picture of his son,” commented another. More voices echoed agreement. “Let’s forget it and go on to the
good stuff.”
“No, we have to sell this one first,” replied the auctioneer. “Now, who will take the son?”
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Finally, a friend of the old man spoke. “I'd like to have the painting. I knew the boy. Will you take ten dollars for it?
That’s all I have.”
“I have ten dollars," called the auctioneer. “Will anyone go higher?” More silence. “Going once.” The auctioneer
raised the gavel. "Going twice," he said looking around for any takers. “Gone,” he said at last, letting the gavel fall.
Cheers filled the room. “Now we can get on with bidding on these treasures!” remarked the man from the back of the
room.
Over the microphone the auctioneer said. “Thank you for coming. The auction is now over.”
Stunned disbelief quieted the room.
“What do you mean it’s over?” growled an irate bidder.
“We didn’t come here for a picture of some old guy’s son!” said another.
“What about all of these other paintings?” shouted the irate bidder coming to his feet. “There are millions of dollars
of art here! I demand that you explain what’s going on!”
“It’s very simple," replied the auctioneer. “According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son...gets it all.”
And that is the will of the Father today. Whoever takes the Son...gets it all. When you take Christ as Savior, you will
have the riches of life to its fullest. (John 10:10, Matthew 6:33) Jesus is God’s greatest treasure, his “pearl of great
price” (Matthew 13:45-46).
Baboons on the Loose
In eastern Africa a troop of about 50 baboons made themselves at home right next to a farm. The baboons were
amusing at first but soon wore out their welcome. Before long they were ravaging the corn and other crops and
helping themselves to anything they could get their hands on.
The frustrated farmers in the area made plans to have the animals destroyed. To do this they set up cages with
food in them. Their plan was to capture the baboons and then kill them once they were trapped.
Baboons, however, aren’t stupid animals. Sensing that the cages were dangerous, they refused to go in.
But the farmers were patient. After several days, one of the hungry baboons ventured into the cage and sampled
the food. It was good—very good. And nothing bad happened.
The next day, the same baboon returned for more food. Other baboons soon followed. After a few days, the
entire troop of baboons were going into the cages to feast on the food that had been put there by the farmers.
Rather than being afraid of the cages, the baboons started to like them.
For several weeks, the baboons went into the cages every day to get their food. One day, however, the food was
tied to the door latch. When the animals grabbed the food, the doors of the cages slammed shut.
The baboons were spooked at first, but quickly went back to finishing their meal. They showed no real concern
for the fact they had been trapped in a cage.
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Sin is a lot like those baboon traps. Down deep you know it can harm you, but just like the food in those traps,
it looks pretty good. And you’re hungry! That’s the sin nature.
You may try to resist temptation and do the right thing at first. But then you start to see other people indulging
themselves without anything bad happening. And just like the baboons, you start to believe that you can get
away with it yourself.
But the devil is very patient. He’ll let you get away with sin for a while—maybe even a long time. Then he’ll
slam the door shut, and your life will be destroyed.
Fortunately, our story has a happy ending. The baboons didn’t die. A wildlife biologist found out about the
farmers’ plan to destroy the baboons and rescued them. The foundation that supported the rescue effort actually
paid the farmers for their losses and the expenses they incurred to trap the baboons. The baboons were then
transported by truck to a remote location in the wild and set free.
In the same way, God sent his Son Jesus to rescue us from sin. We couldn’t rescue ourselves, so Jesus came and
paid the price for our salvation. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). See also
Colossians 1:13-14; 1 Thessalonians 1:9-10.
The Bee Sting
A vacationing family drives along in their car, windows rolled down, enjoying the warm breeze of the sunny day. All of
a sudden, a big black bee darts in the window and starts buzzing around inside the car. A little girl, highly allergic to
bee stings, cringes in the backseat. If she is stung, she could die within an hour.
“Oh, Daddy,” she squeals in terror. “It’s a bee! It’s going to sting me!” The father pulls the car over to a stop, and
reaches back to try to catch the bee. Buzzing around toward him, the bee bumps against the front windshield where the
father traps it in his fist.
Holding it in his closed hand, the father waits for the inevitable sting. The bee stings the father’s hand and in pain, the
father lets go of the bee. The bee is loose in the car again. The little girl again panics, “Daddy, it’s going to sting me!”
The father gently says, “No honey, he’s not going to sting you now. Look at my hand.”
The bee’s stinger is there in his hand.
Paul exulted in 1 Corinthians 15:55, “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” Jesus says to us,
“Look at my hands.” He has Satan’s sting, the sting of death, the sting of sin, the sting of deceit, the sting of feeling
worthless. Jesus has all of those stingers in his hands. When you see that nail-scarred hand, realize that, on your behalf,
Jesus took all the pain that Satan could throw at Him. He reduced Satan to a big black bee that’s lost its stinger—all
Satan can do is buzz. That’s the victory that Jesus won for you.
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The Beggar’s Rags
A beggar lived near the king’s palace. One day he saw a proclamation posted outside the palace gate. The king was
giving a great dinner. Anyone dressed in royal garments was invited to the party.
The beggar went on his way. He looked at the rags he was wearing and sighed. Surely only kings and their families
wore royal robes, he thought.
Slowly an idea crept into his mind. The audacity of it made him tremble. Would he dare?
He made his way back to the palace. He approached the guard at the gate. “Please, sire, I would like to speak to the
king.”
“Wait here,” the guard replied.
In a few minutes he was back. “His majesty will see you,” he said, and led the beggar in.
“You wished to see me?” asked the king.
“Yes, your majesty. I want so much to attend the banquet, but I have no royal robes to wear. Please, sir, if I may be
so bold, may I have one of your old garments so that I, too, may come to the banquet?”
The beggar shook so hard that he could not see the faint smile that was on the king’s face.
“You have been wise in coming to me,” the king said. He called to his son, the young prince. “Take this man to
your room and array him in some of your clothes.”
The prince did as he was told and soon the beggar was standing before a mirror, clothed in garments that he had
never dared hope for.
“You are now eligible to attend the king’s banquet tomorrow night,” said the prince. “But even more important,
you will never need any other clothes. These garments will last forever.”
The beggar dropped to his knees. “Oh, thank you,” he cried. But as he started to leave, he looked back at his pile of
dirty rags on the floor. He hesitated. What if the prince was wrong? What if he would need his old clothes again?
Quickly he gathered them up.
The banquet was far greater than he had ever imagined, but he could not enjoy himself as he should. He had made
a small bundle of his old rags and it kept falling off his lap. The food was passed quickly and the beggar missed
some of the greatest delicacies.
Time proved that the prince was right. The clothes lasted forever. Still the poor beggar grew fonder and fonder of
his old rags.
As time passed people seemed to forget the royal robes he was wearing. They saw only the little bundle of filthy
rags that he clung to wherever he went. They even spoke of him as the old man with the rags.
One day as he lay dying, the king visited him. The beggar saw the sad look on the king’s face when he looked at
the small bundle of rags by the bed. Suddenly the beggar remembered the prince’s words and he realized that his
bundle of rags had cost him a lifetime of true royalty. He wept bitterly at his folly.
And the king wept with him.
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We have been invited into a royal family—the family of God. To feast at God’s dinner table, all we have to do is
shed our old rags and put on the “new clothes” of faith which is provided by God’s Son, Jesus Christ.
But we cannot hold onto our old rags. When we put our faith in Christ, we must let go of the sin in our life, and our
old ways of living. Those things must be discarded if we are to experience true royalty and abundant life in Christ.
“Behold, the old is passed away; the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
The Blood of an Overcomer
Louis Pasteur’s coworker in the demonstration of what used to be called the germ theory was Dr. Felix
Ruh, a Jewish doctor in Paris. The physician’s granddaughter had died of black diphtheria, and Dr. Ruh,
vowing he would find out what had killed his granddaughter, locked himself in his laboratory for days. He
emerged with a fierce determination to prove, with his colleague Louis Pasteur, that the germ theory was
more than a theory.
The medical association had disapproved of Pasteur and had succeeded in getting him exiled, but he did
not go far from Paris. He hid in the forest and erected a laboratory in which to continue his forbidden
research.
Twenty beautiful horses were led out into the forest to the improvised laboratory. Scientists, doctors, and
nurses came to watch the experiment. Ruh opened a steel vault and took out a large pail filled with black
diphtheria germs, which he had cultured carefully for months. There were enough germs in that pail to kill
everyone in France. The scientist went to each horse and swabbed its nostrils, tongue, throat, and eyes
with the deadly germs. Every horse except one developed a terrific fever and died. Most of the doctors
and scientists wearied of the experiment and did not remain for what they thought would be the death of
the remaining horse.
For several more days this final horse lingered, lying pathetically on the ground. While Ruh, Pasteur, and
several others were sleeping on cots in the stables, the orderly on duty had been instructed to awaken the
scientists should there be any change in the animal’s temperature during the night.
About two o’clock in the morning the temperature showed a half-degree decrease, and the orderly
awakened Dr. Ruh. By morning the thermometer had dropped two more degrees. By night the fever was
entirely gone, and the horse was able to stand, eat, and drink.
Then Dr. Ruh took a sledgehammer and struck that beautiful horse a deathblow between the eyes. The
scientist drew all the blood from the veins of this animal that had developed the black diphtheria but had
overcome it. The scientists drove as fast as they could to the municipal hospital in Paris. They forced their
way past the superintendent and the guards and went into the ward where three hundred babies lay,
segregated to die from black diphtheria. With the blood of the horse, they forcibly inoculated every one of
the babies. All but three lived and recovered completely.
They were saved by the blood of an overcomer.
We have been saved by the blood of an overcomer. Jesus Christ overcame sin and death on the Cross, and
by his blood we are saved. (See Ephesians 1:7.)
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The Bottle
A small bottle containing urine sat upon the desk of Sir William Osler, the eminent professor of medicine at Oxford
University. Sitting before him was a class full of young, wide-eyed medical students, listening to his lecture on the
importance of observing details. To emphasize his point, he announced: “This bottle contains a sample for analysis. It’s
often possible by tasting it to determine the disease from which the patient suffers.”
He then dipped a finger into the fluid and brought it into his mouth. He continued speaking: “Now I am going to pass the
bottle around. Each of you please do exactly as I did. Perhaps we can learn the importance of this technique and diagnose
the case.”
The bottle made its way from row to row, each student gingerly poking his finger in and bravely sampling the contents with
a frown. Dr. Osler then retrieved the bottle and startled his students by saying, “Gentlemen, now you will understand what I
mean when I speak about details. Had you been observant, you would have seen that I put my index finger in the bottle but
my middle finger into my mouth!”
Many people live their lives just like the students in Professor Osler’s class. They think they have life all figured out, but
they have forgotten one important detail: the need to allow Christ to change them into the kind of people that God wants
them to be. As a result, life is toxic and bitter.
God doesn’t hide the way from us, however, or try to deceive us as Professor Osler did his students. The Bible clearly gives
us instructions for living a life with purpose and meaning. All we need to do is to open our eyes, to think, and to pay
attention to what God has to say to us. “Taste and see that the Lord is good!” (Psalm 34:8).
But, I Have Not Yet Gone to College
The following essay was actually written by a student applying for admission to New York
University in response to the question “Are there any personal accomplishments or significant
experiences you have had that have helped define you as a person?” The author was indeed
accepted into NYU.
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel
train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I
translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas. I manage time
efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike
trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30minute brownies in 20 minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in
the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by
the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension
bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays after school I repair electrical
appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over
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my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the
weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force
demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international
botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise
Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire
dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I
have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I
sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists
who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I
participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write
it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri
Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart
surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
This young man went to great lengths to convince the admissions department at NYU that he
was good enough for their school.
Are you among the many people who think you’re going to have to convince God that you’re
good enough to get into heaven? Are you pushing yourself to accomplish as much as possible
during your lifetime in order to prove to God you’re worthy of eternal life?
God doesn’t pay any attention to our resumes. When it comes to eternal life, our
accomplishments don’t makes any difference. Only one thing that matters: Do you know Jesus
Christ? If you’ve let him become Lord of your life, you don’t have to worry about making
yourself look good—Jesus has already done that.
Come Home
Max Lucado tells this story in his book No Wonder They Call Him Savior:
The small house was simple but adequate. It consisted of one large room on a dusty street. Its red-tiled roof was one of
many in this poor neighborhood on the outskirts of the Brazilian village. It was a comfortable home. Maria and her
daughter, Christina, had done what they could to add color to the gray walls and warmth to the hard dirt floor: an old
calendar, a faded photograph of a relative, a wooden crucifix. The furnishings were modest: a pallet on either side of the
room, a washbasin and a wood-burning stove.
Maria’s husband had died when Christina was an infant. The young mother, stubbornly refusing opportunities to remarry,
got a job and set out to raise her young daughter. And now, fifteen years later, the worst years were over. Though Maria’s
salary as a maid afforded few luxuries, it was reliable and it did provide food and clothes. And now, Christina was old
enough to get a job to help out.
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Some said Christina got her independence from her mother. She recoiled at the traditional idea of marrying young and
raising a family. Not that she couldn’t have had her pick of husbands. Her olive skin and brown eyes kept a steady stream
of prospects at her door. She had an infectious way of throwing her head back and filling the room with laughter. She
also had that rare magic some women have that makes every man feel like a king just by being near them. But it was her
spirited curiosity that made her keep all the men at arm’s length.
She spoke often of going to the city. She dreamed of trading her dusty neighborhood for exciting avenues and city life.
Just the thought of this horrified her mother. Maria was always quick to remind Christina of the harshness of the streets.
“People don’t know you there. Jobs are scarce and the life is cruel. And besides, if you went there, what would you do for
a living?”
Maria knew exactly what Christina would do, or would have to do for a living. That’s why her heart broke when she
awoke one morning to find her daughter’s bed empty. Maria knew immediately where her daughter had gone. She also
knew immediately what she must do to find her. She quickly threw some clothes in a bag, gathered up all her money and
ran out of the house.
On her way to the bus stop she entered a drugstore to get one last thing. Pictures. She sat in the photograph booth, closed
the curtain, and spent all she could on pictures of herself. With her purse full of small black and white photos, she
boarded the next bus to Rio de Janeiro.
Maria knew Christina had no way of earning money. She also knew that her daughter was too stubborn to give up. When
pride meets hunger, a human will do things that were before unthinkable. Knowing this, Maria began her search. Bars,
hotels, nightclubs, any place with a reputation for streetwalkers or prostitutes. She went to them all. And at each place she
left her picture—taped to a hotel bulletin board, fastened to a corner phone booth. And on the back of each photo, she
wrote a note.
It wasn’t too long before both the money and the pictures ran out, and Maria had to go home. The weary mother wept as
the bus began its long journey back to her small village.
It was a few weeks later that young Christina descended the hotel stairs. Her face was tired. Her brown eyes no longer
danced with youth but spoke of pain and fear. Her laughter was broken. Her dream had become a nightmare. A thousand
times over she had longed to trade these countless beds for her secure pallet. Yet the little village was, in many ways, too
far away.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, her eyes noticed a familiar face. She looked again, and there on the lobby mirror
was a small picture of her mother. Christina’s eyes burned and her throat tightened as she walked across the room and
removed the small photo. Written on the back was this compelling invitation: “Whatever you have done, whatever you
have become, it doesn’t matter. Please come home.”
She did.
(Excerpted from No Wonder They Call Him the Savior, by Max Lucado, Mulnomah Publishers, Inc., Copyright 1986 by
Multnomah Publishers. Reprinted by permission.)
Jesus is God’s picture taped to a Roman cross, inviting us to come home. “The Son is the exact radiance of God’s glory
and the exact representation of his being” (Hebrews 1:3). When you look at Jesus, you can’t help but see the Father who
loves you. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’ve become, God invites you to come home. “Come unto me,
all you who are weary and burdened, and I
G.I. Life Insurance
There was a second lieutenant during World War II who graduated from Harvard University and went into the
military. Having been in the R.O.T.C. program, he was very proud of his alma mater and proud of his new position
as a second lieutenant. His first assignment was to take a group of raw recruits from the hills of Oklahoma and
convince them that they should buy G.I. Life Insurance, a policy that was offered by the U.S. Government that
would pay their families $10,000 if they died while on duty. He marched in with his freshly pressed uniform and
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shining brass, wanting to do well in his first assignment as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army.
With great eloquence and rhetorical ability he appealed to these men’s responsibility, their love of family, and
loyalty to country. He came to the end of his presentation and asked for a response. “How many of you will buy
G.I. Life Insurance before you go overseas?” Nobody responded.
Well, he was facing failure, but he was a plucky young lad and not one to give up easily. So he redoubled his
efforts and with even greater brilliance rose to the occasion and gave a straightforward, clear, convincing
presentation as to why they should buy G.I. Life Insurance before they went overseas. And again he came to the
close and got no response.
At this point, he lost it and began to share a portion of his mind he could ill afford to lose. The situation was
deteriorating rapidly when a wise old master sergeant walked up, put his arm around the second lieutenant’s
shoulder and said, “Sir, let me speak to the men. I don’t think you convinced them they have a need.” He turned to
the men and said, “Gentlemen, it’s like this. You go overseas and you don’t buy G.I. Life Insurance and you get a
bullet in the head, the government doesn’t have to come up with anything. On the other hand, you go overseas and
you buy G.I. Life Insurance and you get a bullet in the head, the government has to come up with ten thousand big
ones. Let’s go over this again. You go overseas, you don’t buy G.I. Insurance, you get a bullet in the head, the
government doesn’t have to come up with anything. On the other hand, you go overseas, you have G.I. Insurance,
you get a bullet in the head, the government has to come up with ten thousand big ones. Now tell me, gentlemen,
who do you think the government will send to the front lines first?”
Well, he sold some life insurance.
You may be rejecting Jesus Christ because you don’t think you need him. You think you can get along fine without
him. But you have needs that you don’t even realize you have. The French philosopher Blaise Pascal once put it
this way: “In every human being there is a God-shaped vacuum which only God can fill.” You can try to fill that
empty place in your life with friends, possessions, sex, popularity, money, achievements—and the void in your life
will remain, because only Jesus can satisfy the lonely place in your heart.
Alternate application
As this story demonstrates, you can’t sell anything to people unless you can show them that they need it. In the
same way, you won’t be successful sharing Christ with your friends unless you are able to understand their needs
and help them to see that Jesus can meet their needs.
The Grocery Store Clerk
Jim Davis, a grocery store clerk who loves his job, prides himself on his good work. One of his pet peeves is
out-of-control toddlers and parents who yell at their kids but do nothing to correct their children’s obnoxious
behavior.
One evening, Jim was checking out a customer who had a shopping cart full of groceries. While ringing up
the sale, a child behind him began screaming very loudly, and an angry man responded by shouting, “Get
down!”
What a jerk, thought Jim, without even looking up. He kept on calling out prices and moving the groceries
past the scanner. The kid behind him was still crying, and again he heard the man yell, “Get down!” Sheesh.
Talk about poor parenting, thought Jim. This guy is a total jerk. He kept on checking groceries without
looking up.
Finally finishing the customer’s cart, Jim looked up and said, “That’ll be $89.95, ma’am.” Seeing no one, he
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looked around and noticed that everyone, including his customer, was lying face down on the floor.
He turned around just in time to see a gunman leave the store. The checker behind him, still lying on the
floor, calmly said, “Jim, you know the second time you heard ‘Get down,’ his gun was pointed right at your
head.”
We can get so accustomed to the noise of our culture and the distractions of the world that when we hear
someone telling us something important, we blow it off as if it were of no significance. How many times has
a parent, a teacher, or a youth leader warned you about the dangers of abusing drugs and alcohol or of doing
other behaviors that can kill you? We hear so much of that, we sometimes ignore the messengers, assuming
the warning is meant for someone else. We go on with business as usual.
You put yourself at great risk when you blow off an important message, one that can save your life. The time
will come when there’ll be no more opportunities to act on the message. “Now is the day of salvation” (2
Corinthians 6:2).
Hannibal’s Fire
In 218 B.C. the Carthaginian king, Hannibal, stood atop the lofty Col de la Traversette pass in the Alps and looked
down upon the mighty Roman Empire, the kingdom he had come to destroy.
Inflamed with hatred, he drove his tattered army down the mountainside. Before his quest for glory could be realized,
however, he had to overcome the last obstacle blocking his path—an enormous rock, wedged into the valley floor that
prevented his passage. It was impossible to move his chariots and wagons through the pass unless the rock was
dislodged and moved out of the way.
Attempts to crack the rock with picks and hammers failed. Sacrifices and incantations likewise produced no results.
Desperate and impatient, Hannibal cried out, “Burn it!” To his half-dead troops, this irrational command seemed mad.
Surely Hannibal wasn’t serious.
Nevertheless, within a few hours felled trees were clustered around the rock to fuel the fire that Hannibal had
commanded. When the wood was laid, the soldiers lit the fire and watched in fascination as the flames formed an
inferno around the rock. Finally, unable to withstand the heat, the rock yielded with a deafening “CRACK!” heard
down the valley. The impenetrable rock had split in two. Hannibal and his army descended upon Rome, and the course
of world history was changed forever.
Many people believe it’s possible to change bad people into good people with education, an improved environment,
increased economic assistance, or special programs. As helpful as those things may be, they are merely picks and
hammers scratching an enormous rock. Only God is able to change the human heart. In one sense, when we spread the
good news of the Gospel of Christ (or when we serve others in the name of Christ), we lay around the hearts of people
firewood to be lit by the power of the Holy Spirit for the purpose of changing people from the inside out.
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Immunity
On the hit TV show Survivor, 16 people were marooned on a tropical island in the South China Sea to compete against each
other for a million-dollar prize. Their goal was to “outwit, outplay, and outlast” each other for 39 days—without getting
voted off the island by their fellow castaways. Each week the group met as a tribal council to decide which person would be
eliminated from the game and forced to go home empty-handed.
One way to avoid being voted off the island was to achieve immunity. If you had immunity, you were safe—at least, for one
tribal council meeting. To get immunity, however, you had to win the week’s challenge, a contest that pitted contestants
against each other.
One challenge involved eating beetle larvae without squirming. Others involved obstacle courses and endurance events.
Every contestant was required to participate in the challenges, but only one could win immunity.
Survivor is an example of reality-based TV. That doesn’t necessarily mean the show depicts anything resembling reality; it
simply means that the show is relatively unscripted and, therefore, relatively unpredictable.
Obviously, some reality is involved in the concept, which is undoubtedly why the show became so popular. We all know
how it feels to be rejected by a group because we aren’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, or courageous
enough. We all know about people who have immunity—those who have accomplished more, accumulated more, or
cheated more to get to the top. Our culture’s survivor mentality is stressful and discouraging.
Fortunately, you don’t have to play Survivor to get to heaven. You don’t have to outwit, outplay, or outlast anyone to win
the prize of eternal life. Though Satan may try vote you off the island, you have nothing to worry about. You have immunity
because of what Jesus Christ has done for you on the cross.You don’t have to compete for it; all you have to do is accept it.
Jesus won Satan’s challenge when he died for the sins of the world and then rose from the dead. When he did that, he won
immunity for everyone who would believe in him and trust him as Savior. Do you have immunity?
Inside the Fence
William Barclay has written about a group of soldiers during World War II who had lost a friend in battle and wanted
to give their fallen comrade a decent burial. So they found a church with a graveyard behind it, surrounded by a white
fence. They found the parish priest and asked if their friend could be buried there in the church graveyard.
“Was he Catholic?” the priest inquired.
No, he wasn’t, answered the soldiers.
“I’m sorry, then,” said the priest. “Our graveyard is reserved for members of the holy church. But you can bury your
friend outside the fence. I will see that the gravesite is cared for.”
“Thank you, Father,” said the soldiers, and they proceeded to bury their friend just outside the graveyard on the other
side of the fence.
When the war had finally ended, before the soldiers returned home, they decided to visit the gravesite of their friend.
They remembered the location of the church—and the grave, just outside the fence. They searched for it, but couldn’t
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find it. Finally, they went to the priest to inquire as to its location.
“Sir, we cannot find our friend’s grave,” said the soldiers to the priest.
“Well,” answered the priest. “After you buried your fallen friend, it just didn’t seem right to me that he should be
buried there, outside the fence.”
“So you moved his grave?” asked the soldiers.
“No,” said the priest. “I moved the fence.”
That is exactly what God has done for us. We don’t deserve a place “inside the fence.” We don’t deserve to go to
heaven when we die. But God has graciously moved the fence. He sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us so that we
could be included in his forever family. “Now we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom
we have gained access by faith” (Romans 5:1-2).
The Long Jump
Imagine that you’re out jogging one day with Mike, a world record holder in the long jump at twenty-nine feet, four
inches. While you’re running along, you hear a low rumble, and your feet sense a steadily increasing tremor that alerts
you to the start of an earthquake like no other you’ve experienced.
Suddenly, a mere stride ahead of you and Mike, the earth splits open. You both come to a full stop to discover that
you are isolated on a small sliver of earth, separated from safety by a deep crevasse that is about thirty feet across. The
little patch of earth you’re standing on is crumbling in the continuing upheaval, and you see that it’s a matter of
moments before you both are cast into the crevasse where you’ll be crushed by the lurching earth. Things look
hopeless.
Your only hope is to jump across the canyon. Mike judges that the jump is about eight inches longer than his recordsetting long jump, but he decides to try it anyway. He gets back as far as he can so that he can gather as much speed as
possible. He crouches into a three-point stance, and you yell, “On your mark! Get set! GO!”
Mike runs as fast as he can. Right on the edge of the crevasse, he kicks off and launches himself into the air. It’s a
perfect jump. Sailing over the crevasse, he lands with the toes of both feet barely on the edge of the other side. His
jump is an amazing twenty-nine feet, six inches—two inches farther than his world record! Unfortunately, the jump
isn’t far enough. His feet slip off the edge, and for a moment he scrambles to grab the edge with his hands. It’s no
good, though. As you watch he falls into the crevasse and dies. Poor Mike.
Now it’s your turn. You crouch into a three-point stance as far from the take-off edge as possible. Mentally giving
yourself the signal, you spring forward. Huffing and puffing, you pound up to the edge, kick off, and jump—straight
down into the crevasse. You’re dead too.
It didn’t matter that Mike nearly got to the other side with a perfect, world-record long jump. It simply wasn’t far
enough. Judged by its final outcome, Mike’s jump was no better than yours. Both of you died.
Getting to the heaven side of eternal life works much the same way. It doesn’t matter how good you live, how many
church services you attend, or how much better you are than other people. You can’t save yourself. The best people in
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the world can’t save themselves, “for all have sinned and fall short” (Romans 3:23). No one is good enough on his or
her own.
That’s why Jesus came. He’s the only one who ever lived a perfect life. When we put our faith and trust in him and
make him Lord of our lives, his perfection becomes ours. He’s the only one who can get us safely to the other side.
The Man on the Hill
An old man lived on a hill that overlooked the ocean. At the bottom of the hill was a public campground where
people would come to pitch their tents, hike along the beach, and play in the surf. One day the old man was
looking out at the ocean from his window when he noticed a huge tidal wave bearing down on the campground.
He knew that the people who occupied the campground below were doomed. He had no phone or any other way
to warn them from his hillside perch. And he knew that if he attempted to run down to the campground, by the
time he got there, he would be wiped out, too.
There was only one thing to do. He grabbed a book of matches and set his house on fire. Within minutes the
people in the campground noticed the smoke from the fire and rushed up the hill to try to save the man. Just as the
campers made it to the top, the tidal wave reached land and completely destroyed the campground and everything
in it. But the people were saved.
The man on the hill sacrificed his home to save the lives of people he didn’t even know. There was no other way.
God did much more than that when he sacrificed his son on our behalf. There was no other way.
Just as the fire on the hill drew people away from the death and destruction of the tidal wave, so the cross draws
people away from their lives of sin.
Jesus said, “But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself” (John 12:32). When we run to
the cross, we escape the death and destruction of sin. It’s the only way to salvation.
One Expensive Pearl
Lord’s jewelry store had thousands of beautiful gems on display. Some were reasonably priced, others were very
expensive. But one stone in the store was more prized than all of the others. It was a flawless pearl, so beautiful
that it was displayed in its own specially designed case at the front of the store. People from all over the world
would travel to Lord’s just to gaze upon this particular pearl’s amazing beauty.
Of course people wondered about the pearl’s value. No price tag was visible. Most people knew they couldn’t
afford it anyway, so they didn’t bother to ask. Occasionally, though, someone would inquire about the price.
The owner of the store would always answer, “It will cost you everything you own.” That was a high price,
indeed, and those who had hoped to add the pearl to their jewelry collections went away disappointed. The cost
was simply too high.
One day a homeless man came into the store to escape the bad weather outside. He noticed the pearl in its display
case and, like everyone else, was fascinated by it. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. After a while, he approached
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the owner of the store and asked about its cost. He received the same answer as everyone else: “It will cost you
everything you own.”
The homeless man didn’t own much, but he was still shocked by the price. He didn’t leave the store. He
continued gazing at the pearl. And the more he looked at it, the more he longed to have it. Finally, he took off his
overcoat, placed it in the shopping cart with his other possessions, and offered all that he owned to the owner of
the jewelry store.
“I’ll take it,” he announced.
Without the slightest hesitation, the jeweler unlocked the case and presented the magnificent pearl to its new
owner.
When Jesus said that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the
kingdom of God, he wasn’t kidding. The pearl of great price costs all that you have (Matthew 13:45-46). The
more you have, the more it will cost you.
Remember the rich young ruler? He wanted that pearl very badly but turned it down because of his wealth
(Matthew 19:22). That’s why Jesus warns us against acquiring too much money or possessions. We might make
the mistake of valuing them more than we value the kingdom of God.
Are you afraid to let go of your possessions in order to have the pearl of great price? Keep this in mind: the pearl
of great price comes with everything God owns. You will be trading what you have in exchange for what God
has. And he, of course, has everything. You can trust that God will not only provide you with what you need, but
also bless you with much more.
Out at Home Plate
It was during post-season playoffs that the baseball team found itself batting in the bottom of the ninth and tied at
5-all. The first batter flied out to right field, the second batter struck out. Up to the plate stepped the team’s last
hope. He let the first pitch go by—ball one. Two foul balls and an outside pitch later, the count was 2-2. On the
fifth pitch the batter connected with a crack that told him the ball was really going somewhere.
The center fielder faded back fast, hoping the ball would fall short of the fence. By the time the runner reached
second, the ball had caromed off the top edge of the fence and onto the grass, where the fielder scooped it up, and—
scanning the infield and grasping the situation in an instant—made his throw. As the runner rounded second, the
third-base coach gauged the odds of his man scoring—and waved him home. The shortstop took the cutoff, twirled,
and rifled the ball to home plate just as the runner attempted to slide under the catcher’s glove.
The umpire pumped his fist at the plate. “You’re out!” he yelled.
The dugouts went ballistic. In the grandstand there was nothing short of mayhem. In all the cheering and booing,
only a few spectators saw the plate ump remove his mask and walk out towards second base. But by the time he
gestured the other two umps toward him, the crowd had quieted—half of them dreading and half of them hoping for
the plate ump to reverse his call after conferring with the other men in black.
Finally the plate umpire spoke. “The runner is out,” he shouted, “not because he was tagged at home, but because
he didn’t touch first base!”
It was true. Not only had the batter failed to beat the ball home—he had run so hard that he hadn’t even touched
first base.
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You can do a lot of religious things in your life. You can do a lot of good and noble things, but unless you touch
first base, it won’t matter too much.
Nicodemus was a good man, but he hadn’t touched first base. The rich ruler of Luke 18 was a good man, but he
also missed something in his life. To Nicodemus Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of
God unless he is born again” (John 3:3). Jesus doesn’t want good people; instead, he wants new people, changed
people who have made him first in their lives.
The Painting in the Warehouse
As owner of the world’s most influential newspaper, William Randolph Hearst was a very rich and
powerful man. He was also an art collector. He loved beautiful paintings.
One day, Mr. Hearst saw a picture of two particularly exquisite works of art and decided that he just
had to have them for his personal collection. He summoned one of his staff members and told him to
mount a search to find out where those paintings were located and to purchase them, regardless of the
cost.
His staff spent weeks traveling, writing letters, and making phone calls to locate the two paintings.
Finally they were found—in a warehouse on the other side of town in the very city in which Hearst
operated his newspaper.
Hearst was filled with anticipation as his staff led him to the warehouse where the paintings were
located. When they arrived at the warehouse, Hearst was suddenly confused.
“This is where the paintings are located?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes,” responded his staff member. “Is something wrong?”
“Well, I already own this warehouse and everything in it!” he said. “Those paintings have been mine
all along!”
You can spend your entire life looking for that “certain something” that will give you happiness and
fulfillment. But all you need to do is look in your own backyard. God has given you a precious gift
which is yours for the taking—a relationship with Jesus Christ. All you have to do is receive him.
Alternate application
Have you ever felt like you were a nobody, a person who would never amount to anything? When you
are feeling that way, it’s easy to look with envy at other people who are more talented, more gifted,
better looking, and feel bad about yourself. But it’s likely that you haven’t checked out the “painting in
the warehouse.” God has given you talents and abilities that you probably don’t even realize you have.
The key is to discover them and to use them.
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The Saucer
San Francisco is home to hundreds of little stores that sell both worthless junk and valuable antiques. Savvy shoppers can
find some real treasures among all the debris.
One day an antique connoisseur walked into one of these stores. Browsing the items for sale, he came across an
unremarkable cat drinking milk from a saucer on the floor. The man immediately recognized this saucer as genuine Ming
Dynasty, worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And here it was on the floor, with a cat drinking milk out of it! The shop
owner obviously did not know its worth.
Immediately, the man started scheming how to get it for cheap, without the shopkeeper knowing what he was selling. He
turned to the shopkeeper and said, “You know, that’s a very striking cat you have there. I’d really like to buy your cat.”
“Well,” answered the shopkeeper, “the cat is not really for sale.”
“I insist,” the man replied. “Would you take $100 for the cat?”
“That’s very generous,” said the shopkeeper with a shake of his head. “I don’t think this cat is worth $100, but if you want
the cat that badly, you can have it.”
The man paid for the cat and then, as if he’d just thought of it, said, “Oh, one more thing. I’m going to need something to
use as a feeding dish for the cat, so I’ll give you another $5 for that little saucer there on the floor.”
“Oh, I could never do that,” said the shopkeeper. “You see, that’s no ordinary saucer. That’s a piece of rare china from the
Ming Dynasty and its worth is incalculable. But amazingly enough, ever since I started feeding my cats out of it, I’ve sold
12 cats.”
That shopkeeper degraded something of great value to upgrade the worth of his cats. God also used something of great
value to redeem us and to give us life—Christ, who was degraded on the cross so that we could be upgraded to eternal life.
As a result, we have become priceless treasures.
On the other hand, customers who didn’t know any better walked by the cat’s milk dish without realizing that they were
walking past a treasure. Next time you walk past what look like ordinary persons, don’t be fooled. They’re treasures—
people God loves so much that he sacrificed his Son on their behalf.
Too Many Engineers
One of the worst train disasters in history occurred in the El Toro Tunnel in Leon, Spain, on January 3, 1944.
Over five hundred people died.
The train was one of those long passenger trains with an engine on both ends. On this particular day, when the
train went into the El Toro Tunnel, the engine on the front stalled. When the front engine stopped, the engineer
on the back engine started up his engine to back the train out of the tunnel. At the same time, however, the front
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engineer managed to get the front engine started again and attempted to continue the journey. Neither engineer
had any way of communicating with the other. Both engineers thought they simply needed more power. They
continued to pull in both directions for several minutes. Hundreds of passengers on the train in the tunnel died of
carbon monoxide poisoning because the train could not make up its mind which way to go.
The people on that train died because the train had one too many engineers. Many of us struggle as to which way
to go with our lives—whether to come to Jesus or to remain in our sin. This indecision can cause us to miss out
on the most important decision in our lives. Sometimes we think we can have it both ways, but we can’t. We
can’t serve God and also serve the devil. Jesus himself warned us against trying to live a double life: “No one can
serve two masters” (Matthew 6:24a).
Wayward Sons
A Jewish man named Levi was troubled by the life his son had chosen, and he went to see his old friend Mordecai
about it.
“Mordecai,” he said, “I brought my son up in the Jewish faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, and paid a
fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he’s decided to be a Christian. Where did I go wrong?”
“Funny you should come to me,” said Mordecai. “I too brought my boy up in the faith, sent him to the best schools at
great expense, only to find that he converted to the Christian faith. I have been in great turmoil over this.”
The two men decided to ask their rabbi for advice.
“Funny you should come to me,” said the rabbi after hearing the men’s stories. “Like you two, I brought my boy up in
the faith and put him through the university, which cost me a fortune. Then one day he too tells me he has decided to
become a Christian.”
“And what did you do?” the men asked.
“I turned to God for the answer” replied the rabbi.
“And what did He say?” the two men questioned.
“He said, ‘Funny you should come to me...’”
The apostle Paul wrote, “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be
saved...Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes” (Romans 10:1, 4).
The good news of the gospel is for everyone. “The same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for,
everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:12-13).
In our age of political correctness, we sometimes tend to avoid telling people about Jesus because we don’t want to
offend them. We may have been led to believe that there are many paths to God and that no one religion is better than
any other. But while it is important always to treat others with respect, the Bible does not support the claim that there
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are many paths to God. Jesus himself said, “No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).
Paul continues in Romans 10 by writing, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can
they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?”
(10:14). It is the responsibility of every Christian to tell everyone we meet about Jesus, the only way to God.
SEX AND DATING
Donuts at the Back
I was holding a notice from my 13-year-old son’s school announcing a meeting to preview the new course in
sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and take part in an actual lesson presented exactly as it would be
given to the students.
Arriving at the school, I was surprised to discover only about a dozen parents gathered, waiting for the
presentation. I picked up a teacher guide and thumbed through page after page of instructions in the prevention of
pregnancy or disease. Abstinence was mentioned only in passing.
When the teacher arrived with the school nurse, she asked if there were any questions. I asked why abstinence did
not play a noticeable part in the material. What happened next shocked me. Speaking over a great deal of laughter,
someone suggested that if I thought abstinence had any merit, I should go back to burying my head in the sand.
The teacher and the nurse said nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment. My mind had gone blank, and I
could think of nothing to say. The teacher explained to me that the job of the school was to teach facts; the home
was responsible for moral training. I sat in silence for the next 20 minutes as she explained the course to parents
who seemed to give their unqualified support to the materials.
“Donuts at the back,” announced the teacher during the break. “I’d like you to put on the name tags we’ve
prepared—they’re right by the donuts—and mingle with the other parents.” Everyone moved to the back of the
room. As I watched them affixing their name tags and shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I was ashamed that I
had not been able to convince them to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the materials.
I uttered a silent prayer for guidance. My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher’s hand on my shoulder. “Won’t
you join the others, Mr. Daniels?” The nurse smiled sweetly at me. “The donuts are good.”
“Thank you, no,” I replied.
“Well then, how about a name tag? I’m sure the others would like to meet you.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” I replied.
“Won’t you please join them?” she coaxed. Then I heard a still, small voice whisper, “Don’t go.” The instruction
was unmistakable. “Don’t go!”
“I’ll just wait here,” I said.
The teacher called the class back to order and, looking around the long table, thanked everyone for putting on
name tags. She ignored me. “Now we’re going to give you the same lesson we’ll be giving your children,” she
began. “Everyone, please peel off your name tags.” I watched in silence as the tags came off. “Now then, on the
back of one of the tags, I drew a tiny flower. Who has it, please?”
The gentleman across from me held it up. “Here it is!”
“All right,” she said. “The flower represents disease. Do you recall with whom you shook hands?” He pointed to a
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couple of people. “Very good,” she replied. “The handshake in this case represents intimacy. So the two people
you had contact with now have the disease.” That produced another round of laughter and witty comments.
“And with whom did the two of you shake hands?” the teacher continued. She had made her point. “This
demonstrates for students how quickly disease is spread. Since we all shook hands, we all have the disease.”
At that moment I heard again the still, small voice. “Speak now,” it said, “but be humble.” Noting wryly the latter
admonition, I rose from my chair and apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier. I then congratulated the
teacher on an excellent lesson that would impress the youth, and concluded by saying I had only one small point I
wished to make.
“Not all of us were infected,” I said. “One of us...abstained.”
When you are tempted to do what you know is wrong, listen for that still, small voice. It will likely be the voice of
the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) prompting you to obey God. And when you obey, you will have nothing to regret.
Eskimo Wolf Hunters
According to tradition, this is how an Eskimo hunter kills a wolf:
First, the Eskimo coats his knife blade with animal blood and allows it to freeze. He then adds layer after layer
of blood until the blade is completely concealed by the frozen blood.
Next, the hunter fixes his knife in the ground with the blade up. When a wolf follows his sensitive nose to the
source of the scent and discovers the bait, he licks it, tasting the fresh frozen blood. He begins to lick faster,
more and more vigorously, lapping the blade until the keen edge is bare. Feverishly now, harder and harder, the
wolf licks the blade in the cold Arctic night. His craving for blood becomes so great that the wolf does not
notice the razor-sharp sting of the naked blade on his own tongue. Nor does he recognize the instant when his
insatiable thirst is being satisfied by his own warm blood. His carnivorous appetite continues to crave more until
in the morning light, the wolf is found dead on the snow!
Many kids begin using drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or engaging in unsafe sexual behavior for
the same reasons that the wolf begins licking the knife blade. It seems safe and delicious at first, but it doesn’t
satisfy. More and more is desired, leading to a crisis—or death.
Don’t be fooled by the temptations of sin. Like the wolf, we can get away with it for a while. Eventually,
however, its true character is revealed. Sin leads to death and destruction. “For the wages of sin is death”
(Romans 6:23).
The High Dive
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Charley and Matt lived in a nice neighborhood where the people were friendly—except for one man who lived at the
end of the street in a big house with a gigantic swimming pool. His pool had the highest diving board they had ever
seen—so high they could see it over the big fence that surrounded his property.
Every day Charley and Matt walked past the man’s house wishing they could dive off that diving board. But the man
didn’t allow anyone on his property, especially kids. The No Trespassing sign made that very clear, but the prohibition
only made the boys want to get inside all the more. They made a pact with each other that the next time their neighbor
went out of town they would sneak over the fence late at night and dive off his incredible high dive.
Two weeks later they noticed the man load a couple of suitcases in his trunk. Peeking through the blinds in Matt’s
bedroom, they saw him drive away. Charley and Matt felt a rush. They knew that tonight they’d get to experience the
thrill they had been dreaming about.
Around 11:00 p.m., dressed in their swimsuits and wrapped in their towels, they snuck out of their bedrooms to meet at
the old man's house. Although it was a moonless night, they didn’t use flashlights in case someone might see them.
They definitely didn’t want their parents finding out.
Climbing over the fence, they entered the man’s yard. Even in the pitch dark night they could make out the form of a
second fence right next to the pool—which they immediately climbed over.
Inside the pool area they couldn’t see a thing. Charley was feeling his way along, looking for a place to put his towel,
when Matt bumped into the diving board. He immediately started climbing to the top of the ladder. “Last one in is a
rotten egg!” he called to Charley, laughing.
“Be quiet!” Charley said as he felt his way to the edge of the pool. He wanted to check the temperature of the water. He
sat down on the edge and tried to lower his foot in the water when he heard Matt spring off the board. And just about
the time Charley made his discovery, he heard a thud and a blood-curdling scream.
What Charley discovered was that there was no water in the pool. The old man had drained it. Matt hit the bottom of
the pool feet first and suffered a broken back and other serious injuries which left him paralyzed the rest of his life.
Charley and Matt chose to ignore the fences that the owner had put up to protect people from the danger on the other
side. God puts up a different kind of fence to protect us from getting hurt, physically or spiritually. When we choose to
ignore God’s fences—whether it’s in the area of sex, drugs, drinking or honesty—we will experience consequences
that could seriously hurt us.
Only in the Movies
Here’s a list of things you can learn from watching too many movies or TV shows:
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Most dogs are immortal.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there’s someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off—even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for
you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition—even if you haven’t been
carrying any before now.
You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.
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Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the
language. A German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by a natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the
tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to
clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill—just grab one at random and
hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing
garments.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so that you know exactly
when they’re going to go off.
It’s always possible to park directly outside the building you’re visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading
alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts—your enemies will
wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have
knocked out the ones before them.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or
brain damage.
No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption, or alien invasion will ever go
into shock.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a
partner who is their total opposite.
When they’re alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chain saw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked in seconds by a credit card or a paper clip—unless it’s the door to a burning
building with a child trapped inside.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.
You can always rely on your car keys already being in the ignition when you get in the car, but if it’s an
emergency you can’t find the keys anywhere.
No one locks doors, and if they do, chances are there’s a hatchet about to come through it.
TV and the movies rarely depict real life accurately. The electronic media’s primary purpose is to entertain, not to
teach. For that one reason alone, never take TV shows or movies seriously—especially in their portrayal Christian
values and beliefs. Even though millions of people in America profess faith in Christ, there are few Christians
portrayed in the movies. And even though the vast majority of people in our country believe that sex should be
reserved for marriage, few married people in the movies ever have sex—only unmarried people do.
When you watch TV or go to the movies, keep in mind that what you just saw probably shouldn’t happen in real
life. Don’t let yourself be influenced by a lie.
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Two Scoops of Anti-Freeze...
...and Lice-Killer with Chocolate Sauce!
Have you ever thought about what you’re putting in your mouth when you eat that delicious ice cream
sundae? Never mind the calories or the fat grams—we’re talking about some serious ingredients.
For example, today’s commercial ice cream usually substitutes dimethyl glycol instead of eggs—a
chemical that is also used in anti-freeze and paint remover. Most of the time, piperonal is substituted for
vanilla, but it’s also used in larger quantities to kill lice. And then, when you top off that sundae with
strawberry flavor, remember that you are probably ingesting benzyl acetate, a chemical that is used as a
solvent for nitrate, one of the main ingredients in fertilizers and cheap explosives.
This information shouldn’t stop us from eating ice cream or make us want to start boycotting Dairy
Queen. Ice cream is fine and wonderful as long as we enjoy it the way it was designed by its creator. But
if we just decide that we are hungry for ice cream and start scarfing down anti-freeze and lice medicine,
we would probably die (although it might be with a nice clean scalp, and a circulation system that is not
affected by cold weather!).
Why would we die? Because we are attempting to quench a normal desire for ice cream in a way that
was never intended by the designer.
Lust can be an awful lot like ice cream.
You see, lust is any desire which leads us to satisfy a normal hunger in a way never intended by our
designer. Lust is what happens when good God-given appetites consume us, control us and become our
point of focus—so that we try to satisfy that God-given appetite in a way God did not design. Maybe sex
outside of marriage has some of the same ingredients, and it may not seem that harmful right away, but
that’s never way the designer intended it.
God never said “Sex is bad” any more than he ever said “Thou shalt not eateth ice creameth.” But God
makes it clear that this God-given desire for sexual intimacy must be fulfilled within God-given
guidelines. Or, the result can be poisoned lives and poisoned relationships.
SIN
Alligators in Your Pond
Several years ago, newspapers carried a story about an elderly lady who lived in the Big Cypress Swamp in
South Florida. Her home was an old shack located by a small pond. Every day the lady went out to the pond
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to draw water.
In the pond lived an alligator. Despite the danger, the lady allowed this alligator to live in the pond for years.
It seemed tame. She didn’t bother the gator and the gator didn’t bother her.
However, one day while she was drawing water from the pond, the gator swam under the water and then
plunged up, grabbing the old woman’s hand with his mighty jaws. She tried pulling her hand out of his mouth,
but the gator ripped it off. Bleeding profusely, the terrified and stunned old woman crawled back to her shack
and called for help. Paramedics finally arrived and she received medical attention.
The next day, the park ranger found the alligator in the pond and killed it. When they cut the alligator open,
they found the old woman’s hand.
The park ranger told reporters, “Alligators are most dangerous when they lose their fear of humans. By
allowing an alligator to remain in your pond, you unknowingly give it the courage to attack.”
The lady still lives in the swamp. But there are no longer any alligators in her pond.
Scripture clearly teaches us that the wages of sin is death. Yet too many times, we think we can keep sin in
our lives and not suffer the consequences. Eventually it will take a bite out of us.
The writer of Hebrews warned that we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that
distracts us. If we don’t, it will handicap us and do damage to the cause of Christ.
What are the alligators living in your pond?
All-Points Bulletin
Thousands of cars are stolen every year in California, but in 1981, there was one car theft that made all the local
papers and was the lead story on the evening news. The police had issued an all-points bulletin to find the missing
car and to make contact with the person who stole it.
Why was this car theft getting so much attention?
The owner of the stolen car had informed the police that on the front seat of the car was a box of crackers laced
with a deadly poison. The car owner had planned to use the crackers as rat bait. So the police were desperately
trying to find the thief—not to punish him, but to save his life. They were afraid he would eat one of the crackers
and die.
In the same way, our Heavenly Father pursues us—not because he wants to punish us but because he wants to save
us. You may be running away from God because—like the car thief—you are a sinner. You have broken God’s
law. But what you may not realize is that God is trying to rescue you, not condemn you. The penalty for your sin
has been paid by Jesus Christ on the cross, and God wants to give you your freedom. So stop running and turn
yourself in. Your life is at stake!
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Baboons on the Loose
In eastern Africa a troop of about 50 baboons made themselves at home right next to a farm. The baboons were
amusing at first but soon wore out their welcome. Before long they were ravaging the corn and other crops and
helping themselves to anything they could get their hands on.
The frustrated farmers in the area made plans to have the animals destroyed. To do this they set up cages with
food in them. Their plan was to capture the baboons and then kill them once they were trapped.
Baboons, however, aren’t stupid animals. Sensing that the cages were dangerous, they refused to go in.
But the farmers were patient. After several days, one of the hungry baboons ventured into the cage and sampled
the food. It was good—very good. And nothing bad happened.
The next day, the same baboon returned for more food. Other baboons soon followed. After a few days, the
entire troop of baboons were going into the cages to feast on the food that had been put there by the farmers.
Rather than being afraid of the cages, the baboons started to like them.
For several weeks, the baboons went into the cages every day to get their food. One day, however, the food was
tied to the door latch. When the animals grabbed the food, the doors of the cages slammed shut.
The baboons were spooked at first, but quickly went back to finishing their meal. They showed no real concern
for the fact they had been trapped in a cage.
Sin is a lot like those baboon traps. Down deep you know it can harm you, but just like the food in those traps,
it looks pretty good. And you’re hungry! That’s the sin nature.
You may try to resist temptation and do the right thing at first. But then you start to see other people indulging
themselves without anything bad happening. And just like the baboons, you start to believe that you can get
away with it yourself.
But the devil is very patient. He’ll let you get away with sin for a while—maybe even a long time. Then he’ll
slam the door shut, and your life will be destroyed.
Fortunately, our story has a happy ending. The baboons didn’t die. A wildlife biologist found out about the
farmers’ plan to destroy the baboons and rescued them. The foundation that supported the rescue effort actually
paid the farmers for their losses and the expenses they incurred to trap the baboons. The baboons were then
transported by truck to a remote location in the wild and set free.
In the same way, God sent his Son Jesus to rescue us from sin. We couldn’t rescue ourselves, so Jesus came and
paid the price for our salvation. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). See also
Colossians 1:13-14; 1 Thessalonians 1:9-10.
The Balloon Man
Everywhere he went, the man carried brightly colored balloons. He enjoyed watching them float above his head.
And it was easy to hold the string in his hand or wrap it around his wrist and take his colorful balloons wherever he
went. The other people where he worked were accustomed to seeing them. They didn’t mind; it brightened the office
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a little. Even at night the balloons would float above the man as he slept.
One day he went to the fair and had a great time. At the fair he could blend into the atmosphere of the rides and
lights and noise. Oh, sometimes people tried to buy his balloons, thinking he was a vendor, but of course he
wouldn’t sell even one.
At one of the booths he filled in a ticket to see if he could win a free ocean cruise. He certainly didn’t plan on
winning, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Yet two weeks later a telegram came—he had won! He would enjoy great
entertainment and the world’s finest chef providing his meals. Talk about excited! The man started packing
immediately. He was ready to go days before it was time to leave.
On the morning of the big day, he called a taxi and had the driver take him to the dock very slowly. He had to go
slowly because the balloons wouldn’t all fit in the taxi and he had to hold some of them out the window. At the dock
he unloaded his luggage, went aboard ship, and was welcomed by the officials who had planned his trip. They even
had someone take his suitcases down to his cabin while he stayed on deck and enjoyed the activity. The ship was
crowded. Many people were aboard just to say goodbye to friends. Confetti, horns, streamers—and lots of balloons.
He felt right at home.
Eventually the visitors left and the voyage was begun. It was great! Sailing on a big ocean liner was really
refreshing. It also made him very hungry. Someone told the balloon man that the evening meal was in just one
hour—a welcome relief!
When they rang the bell, he started to walk toward the dining room on the second deck. The aroma of the food was
so enticing. There was one problem, though. Whoever had designed the ship hadn’t left enough room for a man with
a handful of balloons to get down the passageway. He could do it if he released some of the balloons, but the balloon
man just couldn’t do that. He had seen some crackers and cheese on the upper deck earlier, so he went back and ate
that instead. It was good. Maybe not as good as the chef’s dinner, but it was good enough. Besides, he had his
balloons. That night the sunset was beautiful and it was exciting to walk along the deck. But it sure got cold quickly
after that. Sea air not only made him hungry, it made him tired as well. He asked one of the ship’s crew where his
room was, and the crewman took him down a wide hall and opened the door of his cabin.
It was beautiful. They had given him one of the classiest rooms on the ship. He could see that the interior decorating
was the best. And the bed looked inviting. Unfortunately, the door to the cabin was so designed that he couldn’t get
all the balloons in without breaking some. He tried, but it just wouldn’t work.
Back on deck he found some blankets and a deck chair. He tied the balloons around his wrist and the arm of the
chair and tried to sleep. The next morning he was still tired. All that day he ate crackers and cheese and that night he
slept on deck again.
The next morning the balloon man received an engraved invitation from the captain of the ship. He had been invited
to sit at the captain’s table and enjoy the specialty of the world famous chef. He would prepare it especially for the
balloon man. All that day the man watched as the crew made preparations for the evening banquet, and at 8:00 p.m.
the ship’s bell rang and the passengers began to go to the dining room. The man watched them go. Soon he could
hear the murmur of voices, the sound of silverware, and the clink of glasses. The aroma of the food became even
more enticing.
He stood at the end of the passageway for some time. Finally he walked to the back of the ship. He could still hear
the dinner in progress. He reached in his pocket and felt the engraved invitation. He knew there was a special place
reserved for him at the captain’s table. Then he looked up at his balloons. It was hard to do, but slowly—very, very
slowly (he hadn’t unclenched his hand for years)—one at a time he uncurled his fingers. One by one the balloons
began to drift away.
As he watched, the wind caught them and blew them out of sight. The man turned and walked down the
passageway. That night, as a guest at the captain’s table, he enjoyed the finest meal and the best companionship he’d
ever known.
Are you hanging on to a handful of balloons that keep you from being close to Jesus? What are the names of your
balloons? Are they friends? Bad habits? Sex? Possessions? Your pride? Your popularity? Maybe it’s time to just let
those balloons go so that you can enjoy the relationship with Christ that is yours for the taking. “Let us throw off
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everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us” (Hebrews 12:1).
(Note: It might be effective to allow the youth to blow up and release some balloons that represent the things they
are willing to “let go of” so that they can have a closer relationship with Jesus.)
The Beggar’s Rags
A beggar lived near the king’s palace. One day he saw a proclamation posted outside the palace gate. The king was
giving a great dinner. Anyone dressed in royal garments was invited to the party.
The beggar went on his way. He looked at the rags he was wearing and sighed. Surely only kings and their families
wore royal robes, he thought.
Slowly an idea crept into his mind. The audacity of it made him tremble. Would he dare?
He made his way back to the palace. He approached the guard at the gate. “Please, sire, I would like to speak to the
king.”
“Wait here,” the guard replied.
In a few minutes he was back. “His majesty will see you,” he said, and led the beggar in.
“You wished to see me?” asked the king.
“Yes, your majesty. I want so much to attend the banquet, but I have no royal robes to wear. Please, sir, if I may be
so bold, may I have one of your old garments so that I, too, may come to the banquet?”
The beggar shook so hard that he could not see the faint smile that was on the king’s face.
“You have been wise in coming to me,” the king said. He called to his son, the young prince. “Take this man to
your room and array him in some of your clothes.”
The prince did as he was told and soon the beggar was standing before a mirror, clothed in garments that he had
never dared hope for.
“You are now eligible to attend the king’s banquet tomorrow night,” said the prince. “But even more important,
you will never need any other clothes. These garments will last forever.”
The beggar dropped to his knees. “Oh, thank you,” he cried. But as he started to leave, he looked back at his pile of
dirty rags on the floor. He hesitated. What if the prince was wrong? What if he would need his old clothes again?
Quickly he gathered them up.
The banquet was far greater than he had ever imagined, but he could not enjoy himself as he should. He had made
a small bundle of his old rags and it kept falling off his lap. The food was passed quickly and the beggar missed
some of the greatest delicacies.
Time proved that the prince was right. The clothes lasted forever. Still the poor beggar grew fonder and fonder of
his old rags.
As time passed people seemed to forget the royal robes he was wearing. They saw only the little bundle of filthy
rags that he clung to wherever he went. They even spoke of him as the old man with the rags.
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One day as he lay dying, the king visited him. The beggar saw the sad look on the king’s face when he looked at
the small bundle of rags by the bed. Suddenly the beggar remembered the prince’s words and he realized that his
bundle of rags had cost him a lifetime of true royalty. He wept bitterly at his folly.
And the king wept with him.
We have been invited into a royal family—the family of God. To feast at God’s dinner table, all we have to do is
shed our old rags and put on the “new clothes” of faith, which is provided by God’s Son, Jesus Christ.
But we cannot hold onto our old rags. When we put our faith in Christ, we must let go of the sin in our life, and our
old ways of living. Those things must be discarded if we are to experience true royalty and abundant life in Christ.
“Behold, the old is passed away; the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
A Bucket of Money
One fine evening a man walked into a fast-food chicken place and bought a nine-piece bucket of chicken. He took
his chicken to the park for a romantic picnic under the moonlight with his girlfriend.
Upon reaching into the bucket, however, he received a surprise. Instead of chicken he discovered what was
apparently the restaurant’s night deposit—nine thousand dollars. Being basically honest—and really hungry
besides—the young man brought the bucket back to the store and asked for his chicken in exchange for the
money. The manager, in awe of the young man’s honesty, asked for his name and told him he wanted to call the
newspaper and the local news station to do a story on him. He would become a local hero, an example of honesty
and morality that would inspire others!
The hungry man shrugged it off. “My date’s waiting. I just want my chicken.”
The manager’s renewed amazement over the young man’s humility almost overwhelmed him. He begged to be
allowed to tell the story on the news. At this the honest man became angry with the manager and demanded his
chicken.
“I don’t get it,” the manager responded. “You are an honest man in a dishonest world! This is a perfect
opportunity to show the world that there are honest people still willing to take a stand for what is right. Please,
give me your name and also the woman’s name. Is that your wife?”
“That’s the problem,” said the young man. “My wife is at home. The woman in the car is my girlfriend. Now let
me have my chicken so I can get out of here.”
It’s easy to look good to people who don’t know you. Many of us do a good deed here and there, go to church, say
the right words, and everyone thinks we’re something that we’re not. But God sees your heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) It
really doesn’t matter how much you do or what other people think of you. What matters is what’s on the inside.
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Deadly Marbles
(This is based on a true story.)
The Mexican man who loaded the scrap metal from a southern Arizona junk pile into his beat-up pickup truck bed
was excited. This big haul would mean food on the table and money in his pocket once he transferred the metal into
cash at the scrap metal recycler in Mexico.
As the truck pulled onto the highway, little steel balls from an antique dental X-ray machine began to drop onto the
ribbed bed of the truck. These tiny, radioactive marbles bounced among the shifting sheets of metal and rolled back
and forth in the truck bed. Some of them spilled along the highway.
After the scrap metal had been transformed into pesos, the man hurried back to his village, metal balls still rolling in
the grooves of the truck bed. In no time at all the children discovered the shiny, bright treasures—and the game of
marbles was a popular sport in the village. The balls were a coveted addition to any child’s collection of glassies, cat’s
eyes, peewees, and jumbos.
Before long, many in the town began to complain of similar symptoms: red rash, fatigue, loss of hair, vomiting. After
many months and several deaths in the village, the truth was discovered: dozens of people were suffering from severe
radiation poisoning.
The pretty little balls, held, traded, and treasured, turned out to be both delightful and deadly.
Sin is a lot like those little metal balls. Although it often appears to be harmless, innocent, and fun to play with, it’s
always a deadly poison. (See Job 20:12-15.)
Dr. Drew’s Discovery
For much of its history, the United States of America has not been so united. For centuries, American society
was racially segregated. From schools to buses, public restrooms to drinking fountains, restaurants to churches,
the country was divided into black and white.
Hospitals were among the last institutions to desegregate because many people were afraid they might get the
“wrong blood” during a transfusion. They feared that if they received blood from a person of another color or
ethnicity, they might actually develop the characteristics of that race.
All that changed when Dr. Charles Drew came along.
In the 1930s Dr. Drew created the process we now use to make plasma. Plasma comes from blood, but it is not
type-specific, which means it can be used to treat bleeding patients without the need for whole blood.
Dr. Drew’s discovery was so noteworthy that he was asked to head the Blood for Britain campaign during
World War II. After the war, Drew founded the American Blood Bank, which is still in operation today.
Ironically, Dr. Charles Drew died in 1950 at the age of 46 because he did not receive a blood transfusion or
blood plasma in time.
Dr. Drew was injured in an automobile accident and taken to a hospital that was still segregated—a hospital that
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would not admit black people.
And since Dr. Drew was a black man, he bled to death.
Dr. Charles Drew dedicated his life to saving lives—yet he was unable to save his own.
Sound familiar?
When Jesus was hanging on the cross, the leaders of the religious establishment mocked him.”‘He saved
others,’ they said, ‘but he can’t save himself! He’s the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross
and we will believe in him!’” (Matthew 27:42).
It is only in retrospect that we can appreciate the injustice of Dr. Drew’s death. Because public policy has
changed, we may believe we’re different from the people of 1950. We cling to the belief that we would have
behaved in a more caring manner than those who turned Dr. Drew away during his time of need.
But can we be sure of that?
What about Jesus’ death on the cross? Are we any different today than those who mocked the Savior and drove
nails through his hands and feet? Unless we truly appreciate what he did for us, we aren’t different at all. We
have to put our faith in Jesus and make him Lord and Savior of our lives. Only then can we be changed by him
from the inside out.
The Giant
For 35 years the Giant sat abandoned in the work yard of the cathedral of Florence.
The Giant was a block of pure white marble, 18 feet tall and weighing several tons. However, a gaping hole that penetrated
deep into the column’s side made it virtually useless. Many sculptors had examined the Giant, hoping they could find a use
for it, but they all eventually rejected it because they couldn’t figure out a way to work around the gouge.
However, when Michelangelo spotted the Giant, he saw a magnificent rough-hewn stone from which he could carve what
would become his masterpiece, David the Giant Killer. In 1501, his petition to sculpt the Giant was granted.
As Irving Stone wrote in his book The Agony and the Ecstasy, Michelangelo solved the problem of the gouge by “tilting his
figure twenty degrees inside the column...so that David’s left side could be fitted into the remaining marble. With hammer
and chisel in hand, he found [himself] impatient for that first moment when a flicker of a buried image shone through, when
the block became a source of life that communicated with him.”
Are you like the Giant? Do you have a flaw that you or someone else believes renders you useless? Have you felt rejected or
abandoned and wondered if you’ll ever do anything significant with your life?
While others may overlook you, God is the supreme artist who looks beyond your flaws and sees the image buried inside
that’s waiting to come out. He wants to chip away at what doesn’t belong—perhaps a sin in your life, a bad habit, or a
negative attitude that keeps you from being what God wants you to be. He wants to get started today.
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Don’t forget: that buried image inside each one of us is the image of God himself.
In the Dark
A young soldier and his commanding officer got on a train together. The only available seats were across from an
attractive young lady who was traveling with her grandmother. As the four engaged in conversation, the soldier and the
young lady kept eyeing one another. There was an obvious mutual attraction.
Suddenly the train went into a tunnel, sending the train car into darkness. Immediately two sounds were heard: the smack
of a kiss followed by the whack of a slap across someone’s face.
The grandmother thought, I can’t believe he kissed my granddaughter, but I’m glad she gave him the slap he deserved.
The commanding officer thought, I don’t blame the boy for kissing the girl, but it’s a shame that she missed him and hit
me instead.”
The young girl thought, I’m glad he kissed me, but I wish my grandmother hadn’t slapped him for doing it.
And as the train broke into the sunlight, the soldier couldn’t help but smile. He had managed to kiss a pretty girl and slap
his commanding officer and get away with both!
It’s hard to get away with anything in the light. That’s why so many people love the darkness. (John 3:19)
Jenny
Jenny was 13 and wild. Everyone agreed that she got wilder each passing month. Taller and more physically mature than many
of her friends, she found it easy to attract older guys by merely tossing back her long, strawberry-blond hair and giving a faint
smile. By the time she hit junior high school, she was experienced in all the vices the world could dangle before her.
Considering her home life, it would have been amazing if she would have turned out any other way. Her father, long out of the
picture, had left her with her drug-using mother, who, in a warped attempt at bonding, actually provided drugs to Jenny so they
could get high together.
Somehow, in spite of the blur of sex, drugs, and alcohol abuse, Jenny agreed to go with a friend to a junior high game night put
on by a local church. Even though she didn’t return in the following weeks, something in the youth pastor’s short message found
its way into her mind. He told a story about a prostitute, so sorry about the way she was living, that she cried at the feet of Jesus
and wiped his feet dry with her hair.
Several years passed. Jenny grew more out of control, “raging” night after night.
At two one morning, a very stoned Jenny and her small clutch of girlfriends roamed the back roads of their little town after a
party, when God began to break through to Jenny. Suddenly the guilt, self-loathing, and despair that had been pressed down and
layered with numbing narcotics for so long exploded in her mind. She was sick of her life, ashamed of her behavior, and
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desperately wanted God.
“Perhaps a church could help,” she reasoned, not considering that at two in the morning no one would likely be there who could
help her. Breaking from her group of friends, Jenny made her way to the nearest church, a magnificent Catholic church set in
finely manicured grounds.
Then she saw him. It was Jesus. He was standing on top of a concrete pad in a small garden next to the parking lot. His arms
were outstretched. Jenny went to him.
Jenny dropped on her knees in front of this life-sized statue of Jesus and began to weep. Then the story she had heard years ago
came to her. With tears of repentance she washed the feet of the statue, and with her long hair she dried off the immovable feet.
For a few moments the act of a broken heart made the feet of the statue as real as if they had been the very feet of the Savior
himself.
The arms of Jesus are also outstretched for you. If you come to him, he will forgive you for your sins, release you from your
guilt, and give you eternal life. He is not a statue in a garden but a living, risen Savior who wants to be your constant friend and
companion.
Don’t wait until you hit rock bottom like Jenny did. Come to Jesus today.
Midnight and the Porcupine
Dave and his family, on vacation in northern Wisconsin, were sleeping soundly when their dog, Midnight,
began whining. It was five o’clock in the morning. Dave got up, stumbled to the door, let the dog out, and
then stumbled back to bed. About half an hour later he was awakened again, this time by loud thumping
from under the cottage—as though someone was hitting the underside of the floor with a board. Dave
pulled on some clothes and went out to investigate.
At first Dave didn’t see anything, but then Midnight slowly rounded the house toward him. Bending down
to the dog, Dave could make out about a dozen quills sticking out of the dog’s fur, mostly on the side of
his neck and near the back of his head. Evidently, Midnight had gone after a porcupine under the cottage,
gotten nailed with quills from its tail, and the tussle that followed explained the thumping noises on the
floor of the cottage.
Stunned, but not in any real pain, Midnight submitted to Dave’s handling. But when Dave got the pliers
and tried to pull out the quills one at a time, Midnight howled and pulled back. Removing the quills
caused excruciating pain, and the dog wanted no part of it.
Dave finally took Midnight to a veterinarian in town, who anesthetized Midnight and then surgically
removed the quills. The vet explained to Dave that although Midnight felt no pain from the quills, if they
were not removed they would eventually work their way further into his body and head and kill him.
Although the surgery was painful, the only way to save Midnight’s life was to remove the quills.
Midnight’s ordeal illustrates how we often respond to sin in our lives. Like the quills, bad habits and
sinful acts become imbedded in our lives. When confronted with the reality of those sins (through
conscience, confrontation by a friend, or the prodding of the Holy Spirit), we tend to recoil. We don’t like
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the pain; we don’t want to deal with reality. But we must allow God to perform his radical surgery, or
those sins will kill us. (James 1:13-15)
The Mud Flats
Just outside Anchorage, Alaska, there is a place called the Turn-Again Arms. This particular area has one of the fastest
tide rates in the world. The tide rushes in and out at about ten feet per minute. The water is so cold that if you got
caught in it you would die within a few moments. When the tide is out, there is a huge flat area of mud. It looks like a
great place to ride off-road vehicles. But this area—called the mud flats—is not just mud but also glacial silt. When the
tide rushes out, the water that is left settles quickly. When it settles, it leaves air pockets, and those air pockets form
vacuums. You never know where they are and they are never in the same place twice. If you step in one of them, it will
suck you in and you can’t get out. It’s not exactly like quicksand but more like superglue as it locks you in.
In the summer of 1991, a couple who had just gotten married decided to spend their honeymoon in this part of Alaska.
They went out riding ATV’s and decided to ride around on one particular mud flat. The bride’s vehicle stalled and she
jumped off to see what the problem was. She jumped into one of these areas of glacial silt and sank in up to her knees.
As she struggled to get out, she sunk to her thighs. Her husband rode up on his ATV and she warned him not to get off
his vehicle. People on the road above them saw what was happening and called for help, yelling at the man not to get
off his vehicle. Within moments the fire department arrived and tried to blast her out of the mud flat by using water
hoses. It didn’t work. Then they brought in an army helicopter from the Air Force base. They tried to pull her out with
a rope and harness attached around her waist. As the helicopter pulled up her legs dislocated. They knew if they pulled
any more they would have ripped her legs from her body. They tried to put a wet suit around her, thinking that when
the tides came in, it would keep her warm. But they could only get the wet suit around part of her body. When the tides
came in she died while her husband helplessly watched.
This tragic true story illustrates what sin is like. It looks so good. It is so inviting. You see it and you just want to get
out there and have fun. But it turns out to be glacial silt. It sucks you in and ultimately ends up taking your life.
Trapper John
Living in a remote forest at the northern edge of Canada, Trapper John’s closest friend was his faithful German
Shepherd, Duke. Every few days he and Duke would take the overnight trek to check the traps. Selling animal pelts at
the trading post in the distant town sustained their simple life.
Trapper John and Duke had shared each other’s company for over ten years since he had traded a couple furs for the
puppy. The dog loved the man, often protecting him from wild animals when they were out on their all-night treks. Duke
even seemed to listen attentively to Trapper John share his feelings as he sat by the campfire. Although it was a lonely
existence, Trapper John had chosen it.
On one trip into town to sell his furs and purchase more goods, he met her. New in town, this young woman immediately
caught his attention. She worked at the trading post and seemed anxious to engage him in conversation. They enjoyed
dinner together, and after that John started making more frequent trips into town. That spring they married, and she
moved her things out to the trapper’s cabin in the woods.
Their first child was born the following winter—but tragedy accompanied the birth of their beautiful daughter, for
Trapper John’s wife died in childbirth. Broken-hearted, he had no choice but to take his baby girl into town to live with a
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kind family willing to take care of her until she was old enough to return to the cabin.
She was almost a year old when Trapper John brought her back to his cabin in the woods. Now he was faced with the
challenge of raising a child while sustaining their existence with trapping. During his overnight trips, he would leave
Duke with the sleeping baby, knowing that he would protect her if she were in any danger. On one such trip tragedy once
again visited this small family.
Returning home early in the morning after checking his traps, John came to the top of the hill overlooking his cabin. His
heart pounded wildly when he noticed the front door of the cabin pushed open. Throwing down his pelts, he raced to the
open door to check on his daughter.
As he entered the cabin, his worst fears were realized. The baby’s little bed was covered with blood. In that moment he
caught sign of Duke cowering in the corner, covered with blood. Enraged, the man cocked his rifle and pointed it directly
at Duke.
“You killed my baby! You killed my baby!” John’s anguished roar awoke the child, who started out of sleep with a little
cry from underneath the bloodied blanket. John, his finger on the trigger and his dog in the gunfight, turned his head
toward that cry—and with a sweep of his hand, uncovered his unharmed baby. It was only then that he saw the dead
bobcat behind his daughter’s bed. In a heartbreaking moment of understanding, he realized that he had almost killed the
one who had saved his baby’s life.
If Trapper John had taken time to get all the facts, he could have avoided this near tragedy. How many times are we
guilty of the same thing? We jump to conclusions about other people and judge them before we know the whole story.
We sometimes hurt each other because we haven’t taken time to get all the facts. In most cases, our understanding of
another person’s situation is only fragmentary. We need to stop, look, listen and think before we act.
When Jesus died on the cross, he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
It was ignorance that nailed Jesus to the cross. Don’t make the same mistake today. Don’t crucify Jesus all over again by
turning your back on him. He is your Savior and friend.
THE CROSS
Just Some Old Birds
Murmurs rippled through the congregation when Reverend George Thomas placed a rusty old bird cage on the
pulpit. The church members weren’t used to their pastor using props in his sermons—especially not on Easter
Sunday.
Sensing the congregation’s confusion, Reverend Thomas explained how he had obtained the cage.
It seems that the day before he had been walking through town when he noticed a young boy carelessly swinging
the cage around. Thomas noticed that there were three obviously frightened little birds inside the cage.
The pastor stopped the youngster and asked, “What have you got there, son?”
“Just some old birds,” came the reply.
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“And what are you going to do with them,” he asked.
“Take ‘em home and have some fun with ‘em,” the boy said. “I’m gonna poke ‘em and pull out their feathers and
watch ‘em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time.”
“But those birds don’t belong to you,” said the pastor.
“They do now,” the boy responded. “I found ‘em and I can do anything I want with ‘em.”
“But you’ll get tired of playing with those birds, son. What will you do with them then?”
“Oh, I’ve got some cats,” grinned the boy. “They like birds. I’ll give ‘em to my cats.”
The pastor was silent for a moment. Then he asked, “How much do you want for those birds, son?”
“You don’t want these birds, mister,” said the boy. “They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing. They ain’t
even pretty.”
“How much?”
The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, “Ten bucks.”
The pastor reached into his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy
was gone. The pastor set the cage down, opened the door, and gently coaxed the birds out, setting them free.
The congregation listened quietly as the pastor told of his encounter with the boy. Then he told them another
story.
One day Jesus and the devil were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, grinning
and boasting. “I just caught me a bunch of people down there. Set me a trap! Used bait I knew they couldn’t
resist! Got ‘em all!”
“What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.
“Oh, I’m gonna have fun with them. I’m gonna teach them how to hurt and abuse each other. I’ll teach them how
to marry and divorce each other, lie to each other, and kill each other. Oh, I’m gonna really have a good time!”
“But those people don’t belong to you,” said Jesus.
“They do now! I can do anything I want with them.”
“And what will you do when you get through with them?” asked Jesus.
“I’ll kill them.”
“How much do you want for them?”
“Oh, you don’t want these people,” said the devil. “They’re no good. You may love them, sure, but they’ll just
hate you back. They’ll spit on you, curse you, and kill you. You don’t want these people.”
“How much?” Jesus asked.
Satan sized up Jesus as if he were crazy and said, “Your life.”
The pastor ended his story this way: “Jesus paid the price. And on that first Easter Sunday morning, he picked up
the cage, opened the door, and set us free.”
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“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a
yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
No Basket!
Many people who were there called it the best basketball game they’d ever seen: Westwood High versus Valley Center, to
determine who would advance to the state basketball championship.
From the opening whistle the contest was a nail-biter. Players from both schools turned in the game of their lives—
running, dribbling, passing, rebounding, shooting, and playing defense with an intensity that their fans had never seen
before.
The momentum of the game seesawed back and forth, with the lead changing hands more than a dozen times.
With only ten seconds to go, Westwood scored a basket that put them ahead by a single point. Valley Center called
timeout. The team huddled with their coach, who drew up what would most certainly be the final play. The plan was to
work the clock down to two seconds, set a few screens to get their best shooter a good look at the basket, and let him try to
win the game with a last-second shot.
When the whistle blew, the crowd rose to its feet. Their cheers were deafening. Westwood positioned its defense, and
Valley Center brought the ball up.
As the clock ticked down to its final seconds, the Westwood fans chanted along, “FIVE...FOUR...THREE...TWO...”
The Valley Center players executed the play exactly as the coach had drawn it up. With only two seconds remaining,
Valley Center’s star player took his shot. The ball bounced off the rim and ricocheted off the backboard—right to a Valley
Center player, who tipped it in!
The Valley Center fans went wild. Their team was going to the state finals!
Or so they thought.
While the players and fans celebrated, the referees ran to the official scorer’s table to make sure that the time on the clock
had not expired when the ball was tipped in. With all of the noise, the referees had been unable to hear the buzzer to
determine whether or not the shot was good.
The official scorer, an older man who had held the position for many years, suddenly had the game in his hands. He
hesitated for a moment, but finally leaned over the table and said, “Tell the Valley Center coach I’m very sorry, but the
shot was no good. Time on the clock had expired .”
That news changed everything for both teams. The Westwood players and fans started celebrating their victory while those
from Valley Center were left to deal with the agony of defeat. The stunned Valley Center coach sat down on the bench
with his head in his hands.
The official scorer left his table, walked over, and sat down on the bench beside him. With a tear in his eye, the older man
embraced the distraught young coach on the bench and said, “Son...I’m so proud of you.”
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This story, which is based on actual events, is a powerful example of the cost of living with integrity. It would have been
very easy for the official scorer to give the game to his son’s team. Instead, though, he chose to preserve his integrity. He
did the right thing.
This story is also a powerful illustration of what God did when he allowed Jesus to die on the cross. God could have
thrown the game, but he took the loss of his precious Son in order to preserve his integrity and to provide salvation for the
whole world. He did the right thing.
Telemachus Goes to Rome
Saint Telemachus, a fourth-century monk who lived in a monastery, felt God calling him to Rome. He
couldn’t figure out why God would want him in Rome, but he felt the pressure to go. Putting his
possessions in a little satchel, he threw the bag over his shoulder and started out over the dusty, westward
roads to Rome.
When he got to Rome, people were running about the city in great confusion. He had arrived on a day
when the gladiators were going to fight both other gladiators and animals in the amphitheater. Everyone
was heading to the amphitheater to watch the entertainment.
Telemachus thought this must be why God had called him to Rome. He walked into the amphitheater. He
sat down among 80,000 people who cheered as the gladiators came out proclaiming, “Hail Caesar! We die
to the glory of Caesar.”
The little monk thought to himself, Here we are, four centuries after Christ, in a civilized nation, and
people are killing one another for the entertainment of the crowd. This isn’t Christian!
Telemachus got up out of his seat, ran down the steps, climbed over the wall, walked out to the center of
the amphitheater, and stood between two large gladiators. Putting his hands up, he meekly cried out, “In
the name of Christ, stop!” The crowd laughed and jeered. One of the gladiators slapped Telemachus in the
stomach with his sword and sent him spinning off into the dust.
Telemachus got up and again stood between the two huge gladiators. He repeated, “In the name of Christ,
stop.” This time the crowd chanted “Run him through!” One of the gladiators took his sword and stabbed
Telemachus in the stomach. He fell into the dust and the sand turned red as blood ran out of him. One last
time, Telemachus weakly cried out, “In the name of Christ, stop.” He died on the amphitheater floor.
The crowd grew silent, and within minutes they emptied out of the amphitheater. History records that,
thanks to Saint Telemachus, this was the last gladiatorial contest in the history of the Roman Empire.
Saint Telemachus changed the course of history. So can you. God loves to use one person to make a big
difference in the world—and God wants to use you.
The best example we have is when God sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. One man made
the greatest difference in the history of the world. God still works through individuals to accomplish his
will. Will you be the one he uses next?
308
TRUSTING GOD
The Carpenter’s Gift
Grandpa Nybakken loved life, especially when he could play a trick on somebody. At those times his large
Norwegian frame would shake with laughter while he feigned innocent surprise, exclaiming, “Oh, forevermore!”
But on a cold Saturday in downtown Chicago, God played a trick on him.
Grandpa Nybakken worked as a carpenter. On this particular day, he volunteered to build some crates to hold the
clothes his church was sending to an orphanage in China. When he finished building the crates, he helped pack
them full of clothing and load them on the trucks that would take them to the shipping docks. He felt good that he
could contribute to the project, even in a small way.
On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses. They were gone. He mentally replayed his
earlier actions and realized what had happened. The glasses had slipped out of his pocket unnoticed and fallen
into one of the crates. His brand new glasses were heading for China!
The old carpenter had very little money, certainly not enough to replace his glasses. He was upset at the thought
of having to buy another pair. “It’s not fair,” he told God as he drove home in frustration. “I’ve been very faithful
in giving of my time to your work, and now this happens.”
Several months later, the director of the Chinese orphanage came to speak at the old carpenter’s small church. He
began by thanking the people for their faithfulness in supporting the orphanage.
“But most of all,” he said, “I must thank you for the glasses you sent last year. You see, the Communists had just
swept through the orphanage, destroying everything, including my glasses. I was desperate. Even if I had the
money, there was simply no way to replace those glasses. My coworkers and I were much in prayer about the
situation. Then your crates arrived. When my staff removed one of the covers, they found a pair of glasses lying
on top.”
The missionary paused long enough to let his words sink in. Then, still gripped with the wonder of it all, he
continued, “Folks, when I tried on the glasses, it was as though they had been custom-made for me! I want to
thank you for your thoughtfulness and generosity!”
The congregation listened, pleased about the miraculous glasses. But the missionary surely must have confused
their church with another, they thought. There were no eyeglasses on their list of items to be sent overseas.
But sitting quietly in the back, with tears streaming down his face, was an ordinary carpenter who on an ordinary
day was used in an extraordinary way by the Master Carpenter himself.
(First published as “The Perfect Mistake” in Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul, copyright © 2000 by
Health Communications. Story reprinted by permission of Cheryl Walterman Stewart.)
God can use us in ways we might not expect. Even when things go wrong, we can trust that “in all things God
works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
It’s hard to explain why bad things happen to God’s people. But we can expect that they will. Rain falls on good
people the same way it falls on bad people (Matthew 5:45). As Christians, what sustains us is knowing that God
is capable of turning the bad into good. He just asks us to trust him.
The Carpenter’s Gift was first published as “The Perfect Mistake” in Chicken Soup for the Christian Family
Soul, copyright © 2000 by Health Communications. Story reprinted by permission of Cheryl Walterman Stewart.
309
You’re Not a Monk
A traveler’s car broke down near a monastery late one night. With no place else to go, he walked to the monastery
and explained his situation. The monks graciously invited him to spend the night, gave him something warm to
drink, and even repaired his car.
During the night, the man heard a strange sound. The next morning, he asked the monks about it.
“We can’t tell you, you’re not a monk,” they replied.
The man was disappointed, but thanked them for their hospitality and went on his way.
Some years later, the same traveler had car problems in front of the same monastery. Once again, the monks were
happy to give him a place to stay, feed him, and fix his car.
And during the night, he heard the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asked again, “What was that noise I heard during the night?”
The monks replied, “We can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.”
The traveler said, “All these years I’ve wondered about that sound. I’m dying to know what it is. So how do I
become a monk?”
The monks explained, “First, you must travel the earth and learn to speak the language of every culture and tribe
that exists in the world. Then you must do one kind deed for every man, woman, and child on the planet. Finally,
you must climb to the top of the highest mountain and count the number of stars that exist in the heavens. When
you have done all this, you will be well on your way toward becoming a monk.”
Undaunted, the man accepted the task. Some forty-five years later, he returned to the monastery and knocked on
the door. “I have traveled the earth and learned more than six thousand languages. I have performed kind deeds
for nine billion people. I almost froze to death on the highest mountain, where I learned that there are more than
17 trillion stars.”
The monks were amazed. “Congratulations,” they said. “you are very close to being a monk of the highest order.
We shall now take you to the source of the sound.”
They led the man to a wooden door, where one of the monks said, “The sound is right behind that door.”
The man tried to open the door, but it was locked.
“How do I open it?” he asked.
“You must first memorize the Old Testament,” the monks told him.
The man went to his room and, in a matter of just a few months, memorized the entire Old Testament. In return,
he was given the key to the wooden door and taken back to it.
Upon opening the door, he encountered another door made of brass. It was locked. “To receive the key that will
open the brass door,” the monks said, “you must memorize the New Testament.”
310
Frustrated, the man went back to his room and memorized the New Testament. Within a few months, he had the
key to the brass door. Again the monks accompanied him to the source of the strange sound.
Inside the brass door was yet another door, this one made of gold. It too was locked. The monks said, “This is the
last door. But to receive the key, you must spend one year in the dungeon, with only bread and water to sustain
you.”
The man endured his year in the dungeon. Emaciated and weary, he was once again taken to the source of the
sound. He unlocked the wooden door and the brass door. Then the monks gave him the key to the gold door.
With trembling hands, the man unlocked the door, turned the knob, and opened it. Behind it lay the source of the
sound—and, without a doubt, it was worth all those years of suffering and pain.
Want to know what it was?
Sorry, I can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.
It’s frustrating when people withhold information from us. We want to know everything. Unfortunately, some
things will remain a mystery. For example, we don’t always know why God does what he does or why things
happen that we can’t explain. The Bible describes it as seeing “through a glass, darkly” (1 Corinthians 13:12,
KJV).
The good news is that our questions will be answered in heaven. We just have to be patient.
The better news is that you don’t have to be a monk to get into heaven. You don’t have to jump through
impossible hoops. If you know Jesus and trust him as your Savior, you have the key.
In the meantime, we must trust God and have confidence that, even though we don’t have all the answers, he does.
TRUTH
It’s the Water
The islands around Indonesia are among the most beautiful in the world—crystalline tropical water, beautiful reefs with
fish colored in every hue of the rainbow, powerful waves, and tranquil bays.
Tourists, surfers, and scuba divers from around the world have discovered these hidden jewels and pay large sums of
money to enjoy this unspoiled aquatic playground.
But many of the locals won’t swim. Neither will they dive, surf, wade, bathe, or do anything else that places their bodies
in the warm, inviting water. Their fear of the water is so powerful that even though they are surrounded by ocean and
must sail out in fishing boats for their daily sustenance, hardly any of the islanders ever learned to swim.
Why do they deny themselves the pleasure of exploring the natural wonders all around them? Because a long time ago,
someone told them a lie. Someone told them that the ocean was full of demons and that swimming in it would bring
harm to themselves and their families. And many Indonesian islanders still believe it.
311
Just as for centuries those island people have missed out on the joy of frolicking in the surf and exploring their
underwater world, so there are many people today who are missing out on the joy of knowing Christ and walking in
fellowship with God. They believe that God is some kind of cosmic killjoy who wants to take away their fun and make
their lives dull, boring, and utterly miserable.
Nothing could be further from the truth. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see
him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy” (1 Peter 1:8). Jesus came to give the
best life possible, life “to the full” (John 10:10). Don’t believe those who want to deprive you of that.
The Love Life of the Frog
A congressman once publicly criticized the Department of Agriculture for wasting the taxpayers’ money
printing useless pamphlets. According to the congressman, they printed pamphlets about “everything except
the love life of the frog.”
Following the congressman’s speech, the Department of Agriculture began to receive orders for The Love
Life of the Frog. As more and more orders arrived, the department eventually had to make a public
statement announcing emphatically that no such pamphlet existed.
After the public denial, letters requesting The Love Life of the Frog began to arrive by the hundreds.
Finally, the Secretary of Agriculture, in a national address, stated that the department had never printed such
a pamphlet and had no intention of ever doing so.
Following the broadcast, thousands of orders for the pamphlet arrived in the mail.
When a company approaches an advertising firm about marketing its product, one of the first things the
advertising folks tell them is to get the name of the product in front of the consumers. Name recognition is
usually the single best indicator of the number of consumers who will purchase a product. This is true even
in the political arena—people tend to vote for someone whose name they recognize, even when they’re
ignorant of the candidate’s position on important political issues.
Just because you hear a statement over and over again doesn't make it true. Those looking for truth need to
look to Jesus. “I am the way and the truth, and the life.” (John 14:6)
Proverbs to Live By
A first-grade teacher gave her students the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here
are just a few of the responses she received:
312
Better to be safe than...punch a fifth grader.
Strike while the...bug is close.
It’s always darkest before...daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of...termites.
You can lead a horse to water but...how?
Don’t bite the hand that...looks dirty.
No news is...impossible.
A miss is as good as a...mister.
You can’t teach an old dog...arithmetic.
If you lie down with dogs, you...stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than...the pigs.
An idle mind is...a good way to go to sleep.
Where there’s smoke, there’s...lung cancer.
A penny saved is...not very much.
Two’s company, three’s...the Musketeers.
Children should be seen and not...spanked.
If at first you don’t succeed...get new batteries.
You get out of something what you...see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind...get out of the way.
There is no fool like...Uncle George.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and....you have to blow your nose.
Many people today are like those first graders when it comes to the truth of Scripture. For example, Jesus said,
“No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). But how many people think that verse says, “No
one comes to the Father except through attending the right church...or staying away from drugs and alcohol...or
giving money to the poor”?
Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew
16:24). But how many people believe this version: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself nothing,
because God wants us to grow rich!”
You can’t rewrite the truth of the gospel to suit yourself. That’s why it’s so important to study God’s Word and
memorize it. Only then will you know the truth that can set you free.
313
VII.
RESOURCES
GOOD YOUTH MINISTRY WEBSITES
1. At http://www.gospelcom.net/yfc/campuslife/ there are a couple great resources,
like their 22 Great Printable Crowdbreakers.
2. Also helpful is the Youth Specialties Update sent out weekly. Write to “[email protected]” and ask to be added. 5-10 good sites and/or
helpful things each week. Sometimes MP3 songs, sometimes ideas, events, etc.
3. http://www.fea.net/bobsnook/ is a Christian Scripts website. Not melodramas, but
more serious, thought-provoking scripts. Free.
4. http://www.diamante.com/extreme/links.html is a good site for checking out
Christian music and getting a little blurb on what each band is about. Rap-core,
hard, urban, etc. Contemporary music that truly competes with mainstream music
(Korn, Marilyn Manson, etc.). Audio clips available for each CD listed. Speaking
of CDs, Interlinc’s Youth Leaders Only is an excellent service. For about $300
per year, they send out a quarterly box filled with 8-10 CDs, a few videos, lots of
Bible studies and events based on songs in the box, posters, stickers, etc. Also a
lot of opportunities to buy events-in-a-box, etc. Call Eric Charnquist at (615) 7909080 or fax at (615) 790-3829. Great service. Comes in Hot or Mild, depending
on what kind of music you want to get. Really good stuff. http://www.interlinconline.com/home.cfm
5. http://www.textweek.com/movies/movies.htm is a movie concordance that has
up-to-date movies matched up with scripture references and possible themes for
lessons and which characters in movies match up with different Biblical
characters—sometimes a bit of a stretch.
6. http://www.vaxxine.com/steveb/menu.htm is a huge site that was made at home
by loving hands. Lots of cute buttons and stuff, but once you get past all of that,
there is some silly stuff for illustrations such as How to Raise a Brat and other
dumb things to laugh at during Club. Also a favorite Polka button—haven’t tried
that one...
7. The top sites in Links2Go awards are:
Youth Specialties
Youthpastor.com
See You at the Pole
Group
The Youth Assistant software
Youth for Christ
Christian Youth Resources
8. Mikey’s Funnies (http://www.MikeysFunnies.com) is clean humor on a daily basis
http://www.YouthSpecialties.com/special/lists.html will get you a periodic delivery
of cool youth ministry stuff.
9. http://www.egadideas.com/ . Great game resource.
10. http://www.pastor2youth.com/gamesindex.html . Another game site.
11. Wanna know why that movie is rated R or PG-13? Go to
http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/ .
12. For Bible Study helps use these: http://bible.gospelcom.net/bible? ,
http://www.biblestudytools.net/ , http://www.bible.org/ .
314

The Complete Leader Handbook-05

Transcription

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