2011 - International Human Learning Resources Network

What’s in the Pot?
42nd Annual IHLRN Conference
Tours,
France
October 2011
ihlrn.org
Join us for our 43rd Conference! San Diego, California
Oct. 14-21, 2012
For our 43rd annual conference we shall
return to the southwest of the United States,
to San Diego, to The Dana on Mission Bay,
where we were back in 2005. We had a
grand experience there and that, of course,
is a primary reason for returning! It is a
charming and historic hotel that happens to
be within walking distance of the home of
Betty Joan Maly and John Meyers.
The Dana on Mission Bay by SeaWorld is
nestled among ten tropically landscaped
acres in the heart of San Diego's Mission Bay
Aquatic Park. The Dana on Mission Bay is the closest San Diego hotel to SeaWorld and offers
complimentary shuttle transportation to SeaWorld daily. It is just minutes from all of San Diego's
major attractions including the San Diego Zoo, Balboa Park, Downtown San Diego’s Gaslamp
Quarter and more! For more info visit: TheDana.com
The registration packets are out in the mail and all the information is up on our website: www.IHLRN.org
Please share this information with your friends and colleagues; word of mouth has proven the best way to
grow our IHLRN family!
1
IHLRN Board Members
Women (7)
Brenda Parmelee
Brigitte Madeline
Cindy Rosner (2007-)
Diana Hall (2008-)
Vivian Nelson
Lois Gold
Lois Gelbmann
Men (5)
Ron Nelson
Stephen Gomes (2008-)
Harvey Lewis (2008-)
Bob Whitten
Walter Zahnd (2008-)
Rich Dunham
Conference Coordinator
M.A. Bjarkman
Scholarship Committee
Betsy Gast
Mary Martha Christiansen
Editor of What’s In The Pot?
M.A. Bjarkman
Graphic Artist
Janet Bernson
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
no email
[email protected]
Program Chair
Secretary
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
no email
Treasurer
President
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
IHLRN Conference Sites over 42 Years!!!
1970
1971
1972
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1974
1975
1976
1977
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1979
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1990
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (1)
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (2)
Sarasota, Florida (1)
Naples, Florida
Venture Inn, Palm Springs, California
Maui, Hawaii
Ishcia, Italy
Coolfont Conference Center, Berkeley Springs, W.VA
Aspen, CO
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (3)
Several Hotels in Menton, France
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (4)
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (5)
Sheraton-Molokai, Molokai, HI
Esalen Insitute, Big Sur, CA
Hotel Libertas, Sveti Stefan, Yugoslavia
Biltmore Hotel & Resort, Palm Springs, CA (1)
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (6)
Rarotonga, Cook Islands
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (7)
Ramada Resort Hotel, Palm Springs, CA (2)
1991
1992
1993
1994
1995
1996
1997
1998
1999
2000
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2
Hotel Dom Joao II, Portimao, Portugal (1)
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (8)
Longboat Key Hilton, Sarasota, FL (2)
Haven-By-the Sea, Gabriola Island, BC, Canada (1)
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (9)
Hotel Dom Joao II, Portimao, Portugal (2)
Haven-By-the-Sea, Gabriola Island, BC, Canada (2)
Longboat Key Hilton, Sarasota, FL (3)
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (10)
Renaissance Antayla Beach resort & Spa, Turkey
Radisson Poco Diablo Resort, Sedona, AZ
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (11)
Bethel Inn & Country Club, Bethel, ME
Barcelo Maya Beach Resort, Riviera Maya, Mexico
The Dana at Mission Bay, San Diego, CA
The Crossings, Austin, TX
Sueno Azul Resort,, Sarapiqui, Costa Rica
Ashland Springs Hotel, Ashland, OR
Hacienda Vista Hermosa, Morelos, Mexico (12)
Sebasco Harbor Resort, Maine
Tours, France
A letter from our President, Bob Witten
February 2012
My Dear IHLRN family,
WOW! Was France ever tres chic!
We set up camp in Le Grande Hotel right across from the old
Tours gare (train station) and catty-corner from the lovely
Visitor’s Welcome center. We welcomed back a number of
earlier members and warmly greeted seven or eight new
members. But we did miss all of you who could not join us
because of illnesses, schedule conflicts and just because it
was so darn far away.
The energy was high and the
workshops diverse and stimulating. One plenary was even
conducted bi-lingually, and we delighted in the incisiveness of
the intervention and clarity of work done. We witnessed that
Virginia’s processes translated over language barriers as Wally
Zahnd, Eva Holubova and Nada Feketeova guided us through
two plus stimulating hours.
Brigitte arranged for us in small groups to meet with local residents in their homes for dinner and
conversation. These French amis e amies were most friendly and interesting. The week was an
occasion of multiple delights. And the fun did not stop at the Sunday closing because over half of
the participants (35 of us) left for a week in Brittany and its medieval towns and markets. We began
our travels at the grand chateau of Angers with its world famous Apocalypse Tapestry, and we
ended at Omaha Beach and the American Cemetery in Normandy. Tours will be a conference we
will long cherish with fond recollections
Now we eagerly scan the future because we know that we will enjoy the comfort and convenience of
The Dana on Mission Bay in San Diego next October. We look forward to seeing many familiar
faces and welcome additional new friends. IHLRN remains strong and vital and advocates for a
more human life style as we continue to initiate new centers for Virginia’s work and influence such
as the one in the Philippines which is growing out of the Tours conference and the invitation of Sr
Maria Lirio Guillermo.
As we make plans for our October 14-21 conference at The Dana, please make your plans to attend
and invite someone you would like to see to meet you there.
With fond good wishes and many hugs,
Bob Whitten, President
le pot
3
Conference Presentations 2009
2011
Monday morning Plenary
with Liv Monroe, Walter Zahnd and Martha Teeter
Harvey Lewis, recorder
Satir Processes: Temperature Reading, Triads, Stances
This was an introduction to and explanation of the Satir processes including
temperature reading, triad process, coping stances and etc. The
temperature reading divisions were explained and the reasoning behind
them.
Family triad interactions are a
fluid process within which you
are able to learn about
yourself. Coping stances are
blaming, placating, super
reasonable, irrelevant, finding
and minding, hat hanging or
making someone into
something else. Intent was to
provide a broad sweep of
Satir’s important work for the
beginning session of IHLRN.
Also, for the participants, the
future workshops on Satir will
have a more understandable
context.
Monday Afternoon workshops
French 101
Brigitte Madeline, presenter
M.A. Bjarkman, recorder
ou
est le pot?
Our instructor made it known that she would speak only French during this class. Quickly and in creative
ways she had us all counting, reciting the days of the week, colors and other useful terms. Brigitte is a
most dynamic, positive and encouraging instructor, We all left with just a bit more knowledge of French
than when we entered the room. Thank you, Brigitte, for getting us off on the right foot!
4
Helping Clients with Erectile Dysfunction
Walter Zahnd & Diane Lewis, presenters
Peter Vennewitz, recorder
Walter and Diane facilitated a workshop entitled "Erectile Dysfunction and it's Effects on
Relationships." Ten men and sixteen women attended, including four couples. Six men and ten
women spoke. The discussion covered not only erectile dysfunction and it's effects on both men and
women, but lack of desire, decreased pleasure in sex, decreased pleasure with orgasms, pretending
orgasm by both men and women, medications both men and women may use to help with sexual
problems, Tantra, penile implants and vacuums, Chinese herbal aids, and workshops helpful with
sexual issues provided by the Human Awareness Institute and Body Electric School of Massage. The
importance of good communication, having a sense of humor, and playfulness were discussed. Some
sharing was amazingly honest and vulnerable. One participant was inspired to offer another
workshop based on a topic raised during the sharing.
Using Our Gifts as We Age
Linda Leviton, presenter
Sharon Pearsley, recorder
What happens as you age with the gifted?
Throughout life cycle, the Gifted can feel depressed even during what the
world would call a successful life. This is especially true if they have not found
a purpose or passion, or if they have not found people they can
overexcitabilities, which set them apart from other, and can be considered
“too intense” or “pathological” when, in fact, it is typical of this population.
Dabrowski described Over-excitabilities in 5 areas: Spiritual, Emotional,
Psychomotor, Intellectual, and Imaginational. It makes finding people who
relate and connect especially important sources of validation and connection.
As people age, they may begin to lose these longtime peers and soulmates.
Additionally they start to lose some of skills they have used to define
themselves…such as their intellect (recall and memory), or motor skills and agility (disease and atrophy);
their competence and credibility is constantly questioned by Ageism--Getting patronized because of
physical ailment or just because you are old. Even though this is cultural…as their mental and physical
stamina and independence changes, their role is changed in every culture—often to one of dependence.
This brings into play a new type of Self Reflection: “I may not live forever, what is my place in the
universe?” This is especially strong after a loss. We decide how to live out our years, either playful,
sad, funny or whatever. The definition of life, its personal meaning gets reexamined and redefined.
Often, the gifted have been valued by what they do (even in valuing themselves), by their productivity.
As you age productivity changes; the gift is still there, but it can’t help but be affected by the loss of
hearing, sight, independence etc., not to mention the people who understand you best, who share your
history.
The good news, is there are positive models who prove we can stay active and acute well into later
years. We need that unconditional love and acceptance of who we are, but we need boundaries so
we know who we are, independent of others, as well. 80 is the new 60: The truth is that we should
make life more valuable, since we will live longer.
Some of the things that are thought to help maintain mental acuity are games to stimulate our minds,
learning new skills such as a language or an instrument. Exercising the brain and makes more
connections at any age. Doing simple things differently also builds new neural pathways. Find like
people to spend time with and if you have been active, continue to pursue those physical activities
particularly with intergenerational socializing. It’s a good time to be a senior. Society treats you better.
Most important is our attitude towards life, and aging. Listen to your body, and don’t take risks that
could result in long term misery. But stay physically and mentally active, so chronological age will be
irrelevant.
5
Monday, Tuesday and Saturday Evenings
Todd Hart & Improv Games
Many of you asked for a list of games we played. This covers both nights and things we did in the
talent show. I appreciate
you all!
Pass the clap
Whoosh, bang, pow
Big Booty
Alphabet circle
Kitty wants a corner
Moo, meow, Chairman Mao
Story symphony
Wise words
Here's a website with a lot
of games, though many are
not good beginner games.
Yo u c a n a l s o g o o g l e
"improv
comedy
instructional video" to find
some games demonstrated.
You may have classes in your area and not even know it. Google "Improv comedy classes" + your
town name to see what may be around. http://improvencyclopedia.org/
quel
est le pot?
Pre-Conference adventurers
ready to explore Amboise.
6
Tuesday Morning plenary
Virginia, Carl, Fritz and You and Me
Howard Kahn, presenter and recorder
In Tuesday's plenary, I presented a demonstration of an approach to treatment and to life, which
embodied the thinking of Virginia Satir, Carl Rogers, Fritz Perls, Helmuth Kaiser, and other existentially
oriented theorists. I began with a short description of the evolution of existential therapy, illustrating
fundamental principles of existential work, which included a focus on the therapeutic interaction
grounded in the present time. I said that while historical elements of person's life were always Important,
historical facts were only relevant as experienced in the present moment. This Therapy was seen as
basically non-directive, in contrast with other approaches where the therapist takes a didactic, medical
or problem solving role. The desired outcome of the therapeutic session and the therapy itself is the
maturing of an individual such that the person evolves, through the communicative relationship, into a
more responsible, empathic and ethical person. Helmuth Kaiser wrote that the therapist is solely
responsible for the therapy ,and the patient becomes responsible for him-herself. The healing element is
an accepting, non-judgmental and communicative relationship which promotes and nurtures high self
esteem. High self-esteem is essential for creative personal growth. Psychopathology is not
emphasized, since symptoms are seen as coping strategies which no longer work.
The work of Virginia Satir was presented as embodying the essential elements of this approach. Her view
of the person was to see individuals as striving to be "more fully human". She did not see psychopathology
as relevant to growth, except as a manifestation of ineffective coping with life. Being "more fully human"
meant that one becomes congruent in experience and expression of one's feelings, thoughts, and desires.
Through relationship, in which one was valued and free to experience oneself and others and to feel the
safety of being free to comment and express oneself, there is growth and the capacity to be constructive,
responsible and open to experience and expression of joy and love. In our small community, Virginia
fostered the conditions for growth and development which we enjoy and practice today in our meetings.
I worked with Richard and Lois, who generously offered themselves and their communicative style with each
other to be seen and heard by our group. It was a tribute to the high trust level of our group. After the work
there was a moving, engaging and informative interaction, which developed into a self-revealing and
compassionate discussion. This discussion was as moving to me as the work of the demonstration,
illuminating the struggles of all of us to be "more fully human" in relation to ourselves and our intimate others.
The depth of striving for connection between Lois and Richard proved to me and others to be of great value
in our seeing and feeling our own striving to develop deeper, more trusting, more joyful relationships.
Their work was illustrative of the process of how we in IH LRN strive for communicative intimacy in our
love and family relationships by consciously fostering self-esteem through deep acceptance of each other.
Their open and candid striving to learn and grow was a moving tribute to us and to our teacher Virginia.
7
Tuesday Afternoon Workshops
Nonviolent Communication
Liv Monroe, Presenter
Maia Lirio Guillermo, recorder
In this Workshop, Liv successfully accomplished her objectives which
enabled the participants to:
1. understand consciousness of NVC
2. learn and practice the 4 steps
3. learn and practice wearing NVC (Nonviolent Communication or
Giraffe) ear.
Aligned with the said objectives, Liv gave an overview of her
workshop and proceeded to discuss about one's consciousness to
connect; about how we look at other people and how judgment is
given: that we judge other people by what we see and we judge
ourselves by what we intend to do or by our intentions and that if we
look deep enough, there is always a positive intention and empathy is
always being called for and the presence always felt. We all share the same deep longings and we
can connect by focusing on them. As Virginia Satir said, we connect because of our similarities and
we grow because of our differences. Nonviolent communication suggests a process and words to
help us get into that consciousness.
Liv further discussed the 4 Steps being 1) Observation, 2) Feelings, 3) Needs and 4) Request. When
observing, one just states what happened and not any opinion; as to feelings, one just describes the
vulnerable part inside; needs are defined in a very special way and it is about one's deepest longings
and request, one's request must be doable. Thus, the request states What? And How?
Finally, Liv proceeded with her activity about how we choose to hear with our Giraffe or Jackal Ears
and how we respond or communicate nonviolently when we are questioned in different ways. The
process was very educative and interactive. We learned well
from this workshop.
Jour
de Mauvais
Cheveux
Bad Hair Day
(where did Howard get those locks?)
8
Mystery Talk
Stephen Gomes, presenter
Linda Leviton Gomes, recorder
Steve began the session by explaining the concept of the Mystery
Presentation as established by Nomad University in the 70’s. He talked
about how he is on the board at Nomad, and decided this would be a good
way to create a custom tailored talk for whoever attended. He then passed
out a list of potential topics, his interests and his experiences so that people
could request a topic related to one of his past experiences. Attendees
then proposed topics and Steve began a process of weaving stories from
his past into the suggestions. Finally, after a long list of topics had been
proposed, the group voted, and three primary topics emerged. Steve
began to address the world economic and political situation (one of the
topics was predictions.) In discussing the reasons the economy has been
getting more and more precarious, he discussed philosophy, history,
economics human nature, and current banking and business practices that doom fiat currencies and
low income classes. His predictions were of global economic downturn with a slow long term
prognosis.
9
Virginia Satir’s Magic
Annotated video by Martha Teeter
Bill Roller, reporter
This film “A world of families, Chico, CA, 1982, presents a family therapy
seminar conducted by Virginia Satir and a Family of three – a mother, a
father and a teenage son. Virginia begins by connecting with each of
the family , making contact. She next completed a diagram of the family
structure and asked what each member hopes to accomplish by this
seminar.
She then took a history of the family’s patterns of lying –
showing that each member has done so, each in their own way. Virginia
then posed the Question: What specific change do you want to make?
Going deeper, she explored the father’s difficulties when he was in school.
She placed the son across from his father as a dyad and let that bond
develop apart from the mother.
Virginia’s use of touch and feeling related questions kept the family
present and in context. She reframed the father’s unemployment as a wonderful opportunity to build
a deeper relationship. Virginia helps the family understand how the son would lie about school
attendance just to protect his private feelings
At one point, Virginia assumed the Father’s role and voice psycho dramatically in order to vocalize the
father’s concern for his son. Then, as Virginia, she instructs the son: “Tell your dad what you really want.”
Illustrating the need for direct communication in the family as a hallmark of health.
The film shows how elegantly and skillfully Virginia facilitated the family’s capacity to relate
meaningfully with each other – and the capacity to grow as individuals - and pursue their dreams.
Knowing Yourself: Personality and Negotiation Types
Stephen Gomes, presenter
Linda Leviton Gomes , recorder
Steve presented the history and process of using the Kiersey Personality Inventory (a self-scoring
version of the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory) that came from the theories of Carl Jung. He administered
the test and discussed the implications of different type combinations to interactions and relationships.
He also gave out the Kilman Conflict Resolution inventory and discussed the different resolution styles.
to,
čo je v banku?
10
The Use of Sculpting
in the Satir Model
Nada Feketova & Walter
Zahnd, presenters
Eva Hulobova, translator
Linda Leviton Gomes,
recorder
Sculpting is a tool to
enhance the growth of the
individual, couple, and
family. Specific sculpts for
individuals were created
and examined, within a
framework of trust
between the Therapist and
the individual.
The therapist worked with
the individual to create
insights into the sculpt.
This entire exercise was
done through translation.
ou est le pot?
Chateau Chenonceau
11
Wednesday Morning Plenary
Family Rules & ReDecision Therapy
Vivian Nelson and Bill Roller, presenters
recorder
Walter Zahnd,
Vivian and Bill presented on Family Rules and ReDecision
Therapy. They have been working as a co-team for 36 years and you
have to applaud them for their efforts and contributions to the world
and to IHLRN. Vivian and Bill presented a brief didactic lecture on
family rules and the work of Fred Ford and Marie Doyle. They also
reviewed the work by Eric Berne (Transactional Analysis,) and the
Gouldings on ReDecision Therapy. Did you know the definition of
Family Rules? Family Rules are redundant patterns of behavior in
families that are non-verbal and often unwritten.
Family Rules create five distinct family systems or patterns with wide variations.
They consist of:
1. Two Against the
world.
2.
Children come
first
3. Share and share
alike.
4. Until death do us
part.
5. Every man for
himself.
They each described
their own individual
family patterns from
their families of
origin. Bill led a
group exercise on
using the Mapping of
Rules developed by
Fred Ford. It was
followed by a group
discussion of family
rules and a brief
question and answer
session.
This led into a deeper
piece of work with a
star demonstrating re-decision therapy with an individual.
12
As a team the star was
invited to go back into
her childhood and revisit a trauma and was
moved toward a redecision. This process
was followed by
soliciting the observers'
experience during the
work with the "star."
Participants were
encouraged to share
their emotions and to
discuss them and the
experience in their
triad. The group was
moved
by
the
experience and thanked
Vivian and Bill for a
superb demonstration of
Re-Decision Therapy
and its connection to the
foundational work of
Virginia Satir.
Wednesday Afternoon workshops
Psychotherapy Tool Kit
Elsbeth Martindale, presenter
Dr. Martindale uses a comprehensive set of psychoeducational material to enhance her therapy practice. The
working premise is to equip, empower and encourage her
clients. Information, often in form of a single sheet, illustrates
the “how to” of goal setting, self observation, conscious
thinking, self-management, connection and self care/
enhancement. Given the pressures of limiting time with the
client, the therapy work is continued between sessions in a focused manner. To manage this focus,
the client must list his/her goals. Once goals are established, Elsbeth selects the tools that best
address the goals. She has a large selection to work from. She passed around material which
included: How to self observe, Words that connect, Mood Chart, Circle of Concern/influence, Steering
thoughts is empowering, Thoughts can change our physiology, Thoughts effect mood. These are not
just visual handouts, because the client is told they will be reviewed and challenged to discuss with
the following week.
13
One set included Distorted Thinking Cards which have 15 ways to be negative and 12 to be positive.
The emphasis is for the client self-management. Non-violent communication is taught with one title
(Things You Need to Know Before You Give Your Heart Away). Also discussed were Basics of needs
& strategies, Five Finger Communication, Paths Through Conflict, Five Ways to Say It, Anger
Continuum, Selfishness, Managing the Critic, Critic Catcher – Catch & Retrain, Practice Gratitude,
Keep Your Personal Cup Full, Know Your Strength, Ask for Help, Letters to Yourself When You’re
Depressed, Give Yourself a Hand, Gratitude Homework, Letter Requesting Support and more.
Elsbeth views these tools as methods to intensify the work and teaching experience with clients.
Individually, the material was professionally prepared with the emphasis on concepts and language
that a non-professional would easily understand.
Geopolitics of the United States:
Why American geography dooms the U.S. to be a global power.
Ron Nelson, Presenter & recorder
This workshop was based on the work of an organization called Stratfor, which
claims to be the largest private intelligence gathering entity in the world. The
following analysis is a LONG-TERM ANALYSIS, showing long-term trends, not
short-term distortions like the one we are currently experiencing.
In introducing the subject, the following points were made:
•the geography of the United States is probably the most favorable in the
world, in terms of economic and trade resources;
• the Midwest is arguably the largest and most productive agricultural area
in the world, in terms of favorable climate, good soil, and dependable
rainfall;
• the flow of rivers in the heartland of North America provides very cheap
transportation for exporting the production of this region;
•the U.S. has two small, mostly friendly nations to the north and south, and
two of the world's largest oceans on the east and west. We have no national
enemies to defend our homeland against, and plenty of natural protection. North America is a
remarkably safe place, compared with the rest of the world.
• for much of our history and until recently, the efficiency of our economic production and
transportation has enabled us to be exporters of capital to the world; and part of the reason for our
overwhelming military establishment, particularly our naval fleet, is to protect those investments.
This fleet polices the oceans and makes international maritime trade possible.
• as the nation expanded westward, an almost unlimited amount of good land was waiting for the
settlers who came. Success and wealth were virtually assured. Each succeeding generation
experienced life as getting better, and we came to believe that this state of affairs is normal. That is
a rather unique attitude, which has directly contributed to both our positive belief in a better future
and our ability to create it, as well as our arrogance about our superiority over the rest of the world
(often called American Exceptionalism).
• because we believe things should always go right, we tend to panic when things go wrong. We tend
to over-react when someone else in the world does something we don't like. This is a wellspring of
modern American power, because our sheer size, diversity, wealth and dynamism means that when
we throw all of our ample strength at a problem, it can reshape the world, for good or ill.
All economic power is fueled -- and limited -- by the availability of three things: land (and resources),
labor, and capital. Because we have all of these in abundance, we probably have decades of growth
ahead of us.
14
Land
Our population density is relatively low as is the cost of land. More than half of our 50 largest
American metropolitan centers face no expansion constraints with lots of room to grow. Our climate is
relatively benign, our soil mostly rich. Our infrastructure, although currently in disrepair, spans and
connects a huge land mass positioned between two enormous maritime oceans.
Labor
Demographically, the U.S. has the youngest and
fastest growing population of all the industrialized
nations except China, with that gap closing as China
ages rapidly. We are much less likely to have the
massive qualitative and quantitative labor shortages
that other nations will face within a generation.
Because we were settled by people from somewhere
else, and still have a significant inflow of immigrants,
our population tends to be younger and more open
to adopting a new, American identity. We assimilate
more easily. We also have a more open acceptance
of our multicultural nature, so we can integrate larger
i m m i g r a n t p o p u l a t i o n s m o r e q u i c k l y. E v e n
immigration from Mexican is a net gain for the U.S., because it helps keep the rising cost of American
labor per unit of output lower than most other industrialized nations. Since education is one of the
most expensive things we engage in, immigrants who come with any education at all, even from
Mexico, are a net gain for the system.
Capital
Because we have historically generated a high supply of investment capital, while having a lower
demand for capital, this has allowed our government to take a relatively "hands-off" approach to
economic planning. We are the only large country in the world with such a laissez-faire economic
system. National planning is somewhat alien to Americans. We have no "state champions,"
corporations that receive significant state assistance, as Europe and Asia do. Hence, we have more
competition and tend to be more efficient and productive, generate more capital, and have higher
employment over the long term. Small firms have fewer barriers to entry, so we tend to have a
business culture of smaller companies.
Our laissez-faire economic model also
into the American system. We are more
levels of social stability and an
system is far more efficient in
results in a boom-and-bust economic cycle which is built
tolerant of economic change, resulting in high
increasingly more capable work force. Our
allocating resources over the long term.
In conclusion, there is a
American long-term growth,
that power to protect, promote ( a n d
o r d e r, f o r b e t t e r a n d
is no geographic basis to expect
foreseeable future.
It has been said that the 20th
we may be in decline. We will
and resume our historic role in
AMERICAN CENTURY.
geographic and geopolitical basis for
prosperity and power. We project
take advantage of) the world
sometimes for worse. And there
this condition to change in the
century was
come out of our
the world, thus making
15
the American century, and that
current difficulties eventually
the 21st century the TRUE
Braveheart Women: Secrets to Successful Aging
Chrystal Carroll and Betty Kilpatrick, presenters
Ann Steiner, recorder
About the Big O: “ It’s not what you might think!”
The Big O = Oxcytocin . Women have to have it in their body. The
workshop leaders presented research that has shown these crucial
factors for quality of life:
1. Keep moving, i.e. exercise (hippocampus and forebrain is kept from
2.
3.
4.
5.
atrophying, ping pong is good for hand-eye coordination.) Gyms for
those who can’t afford it= Silver Sneakers for Medicare and AARP
many gyms honor… Walking or aerobic exercise helps. Learning also
helps.
Nutrition, proper, healthy, fresh foods
Stop smoking – shorter lives confirmed among smokers
Social network, family, friends improve longevity and quality of life
Today’s 60 year old is yesterday’s 40 year old.
Key is to find and maintain both Meaning and Purpose, especially after retirement Life needs
meaning to have reason to continue living, goals. Oldsters benefit from volunteering or sports. That
gives us meaning, passion.
The leaders suggested we rethink our definitions of old age
Definition of old age = when people give up
Don’t like phrase “old age” -- preferred terminology = being older.
or “Chronologically advanced age”
The leaders asked us to share humorous stories we’ve experienced.
A few highlights:
• “Miss Martha, your skin doesn’t fit anymore” says young child, examining grandmother’s arm
• “Divorce? No. Murder? yes”
• Elderly woman on cruise standing by railing, the wind was blowing wildly as she was holding
her hat a young man nearby by said,” ma’am, your dress is showing your unmentionables” to
which she replied “Young man what you see under my dress you see is 75 years old, but I just
bought my hat yesterday!”
• “I cleaned my house last week - sorry you missed it.”
• “I planned to do nothing today. So far am right on schedule.”
Surprising facts:
•
•
•
Taking cruises is less expensive than being in a nursing home
When invited to join her on a cruise, Brenda’s mother said, with her southern belle accent: “I
cannot swim and I cannot pray that long” re why she can’t go on cruise with her.
When you kiss someone of the opposite sex you get testosterone, or men get oxcytocin
Hot Tips
1. Wise state of Mississippi gives free registration to universities for those over age 65 – Check
your state for similar programs
2. Oxcytocin is activated when nursing, when making love either alone or by yourself. Dr. Ruth’s
comment “So you don’t have a partner - you have 2 hands!”
3. Oxcytocin Enhancing Exercise: Breathe in through your nose -- Breathe out from diaphragm.
When you have a depressed person do oxcytonic breathing, practice with yourself see how many
breathes you need. It clears your brain, oxygenates your brain, as good as a walk outdoors!
16
The Use of Virginia Satir Parts Model in Individual Treatment
Richard Kennedy, presenter & recorder
Linda Leviton Gomes, art work
Although Virginia frequently
worked with groups of
individuals when doing parts
work, the solo practitioner
doesn’t usually have the
luxury of the support of many
individuals. I presented a
way that a Therapist might
focus on 1-2 parts with an
individual.
This also
connects with Michael
White’s work on externalizing
problems in order to see
them clearly and gain more
control over them. The use of
this model also uses
recognition and challenge/
change of internal irrational
negative thoughts addressed
in both Cognitive behavioral
Therapy (CBT) and EMDR.
This workshop presented the
idea of helping a client
e x t e r n a l i z e t h at c ri tical
internal voice within them.
The first step is to help the
client identify patterns of
negative cognition and the resulting emotional impact on them. This leads to teaching the use of the
cognitive/emotion cycle that addresses our interpretations/thinking about an event/behavior “such as
you are stupid for making that mistake” that lead to our emotional responses and then to behavior.
In this workshop I focused on the critical perfectionist part that many people experience. I discussed
the internal negative self cognitions such as “you or what you are doing is not good enough”, “you are
worthless”, etc. that create shame and depression. I expanded on the concept of perfectionistic
tendencies to give a broader perspective of my work in this area. This included the perfectionist
unrealistic expectations of self and others, poor personal boundaries, and the sense of being an
anxiety driven individual because “nothing is ever good enough”. The latter is connected to the
underlying irrational thinking that if I am not perfect then I am not good enough to be loved.
I presented examples of clients (unnamed) and their parts in which I have successfully used this
method.
We also discussed the issue of the need to normalize this parts process so that the client doesn’t feel
they are crazy as they face the internal conflict of the logical left brain thinking vs the irrational parts
(right brain). This included the therapist sharing some of the various parts that they have identified in
themselves that have been helpful in their own growth.
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Music Therapy
Maria Lirio Guillermo, presenter
Liv Monroe, recorder
Maria offered a therapy session for each of us using music from John Michael Talbot, "One Dark
Night." We were given all the words to the song listed in short phrases with lines to the right for
notes. First the song was played with the words and we were instructed to underline words that
we were drawn to. The next time through we wrote phrases about the pictures in our minds or the
thoughts as we listened to the music without words. Then once more with words and without.
We each shared our writing and experience drawing out the main points such as, "there is joy in
darkness." We discussed the main points in our lives and turning points.
Maria related experience with Virginia's Change Process. She shared her own acronym which is
also her initials: SMLLG or Status Quo, Movement, Leave, Learn, and Generative.
Friday morning plenary
Human Kaleidoscope
Walter Zahnd & Nada Feketova, presenters
Eva Hulobova, translator
To present the major way Virginia Satir viewed a
person, called the Human Kaleidoscope, which
emerged and was developed through her work
with individuals and families.
Participants observed the application of the
Human kaleidoscope to an individual in their
current context. There were triad, and small group
discussion of the Human Kaleidoscope and its
application to individuals, couples, and families.
There was time for questions and answers, and
comments from the “star.”
New Directions in Education:
Personality Measurement &
Assessment Systems
Stephen Gomes, presenter
How to take and administer the following
personality assessment:
1. Myers, Briggs Type Indicator
2. Kieney Temperament Sorter
3. Thomas-Kilmana Conflict Mode Instrument.
Learning how to interpret MNT1 results and
learning the background, origination and principles
behind the creation of MBT1
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The Rollercoaster of Chronic Illness: How to add Joy to the Ride
Ann Steiner, presenter
Marietta Voglis, recorder
I feel very fortunate to have attended Ann Steiner’s session on how to deal with
chronic illness — albeit not from the practitioner’s viewpoint. In this case, the
attendee was the patient! If you can deal adequately with chronic illness, you
gain “freedom”. Freedom depends upon who you are talking to.
Does freedom mean autonomy, mobility, choice?
Dr. Steiner discussed the “wheelchair syndrome”, noting that if you can’t stand
up, stand out! There are 95 million people who suffer from chronic illness; 50
million are caregivers. The impact of the illness itself: lose your identity, loss of
social status, also of friends. The stages of chronic illness: crisis, isolation,
anger, reconstruction, intermittent depression, renewal, “improvement distress”.
Try to remember: When you clench your fist no one can put anything in your hand. Nor can your hand
pick up anything!
The (schools ??? – I cannot read this word) of comfort include distraction, being talked out of how you
feel, stoicism, there is someone suffering more than you.
What kind of family support do you have? There are caregivers vs care partners. The pain isolation
cycle was discussed.
Questions of treatment included such subjects as identity depression, chronic pain medication
complications; risk of self- destructive behavior.
Dr. Steiner emphasized encouraging responsibility — noting that choice plus chance will bring about
change! Learning the language of limitations means lifestyle changes.
She also took a penetrating look at end of life issues which entail special challenges. Most prominent
theme: Walking the walk and Having an action plan.
Satsang with the Beloved – Thy Self
Barbara Carpenter, presenter
Harvey Lewis, recorder
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Saturday morning plenary
Empathic Listening - NVC Fish
Bowl
Holley Humphrey, presenter
To be a good listener, you need to help
identify for the Speaker the difference
between feelings and needs . Needs
are typically security, creativity,
n u r t u r i n g , p l a y, s e l f - c a r e a n d
independence.
Listening strategies
are designed for moving from the head
to the heart, and these methods will be
discussed.
A role play will demonstrate how these
methods are used.
Saturday Afternoon Workshops
Mirror Therapy— Phantom Pains and the Human Brain
Walter Zahnd and Harvey Lewis, presenters
Harvey Lewis, recorder
Basic research into how the mind works has recently found that the brain can be remolded by
creating a sensory discrepancy in the flow of information. With mirrors, in a clinical setting,
researchers have found phantom limb pain could be reduce or eliminated. Promising studies have
shown this technique useful in treating stroke victims with similar pain issues.
The presenters had each of the participants carry on three simple experiments using a mirror.
Experiment consist of creating a mirror image of the left hand/arm with the right hand/arm.
Immediately, the instructor had the participant move his right hand vigorously while keeping the left
hand still and observing the mirror image of right hand.
Participants experience various level of
strangeness. While in the same position, the instructor increases the level of visual and touching
clues, that influence the brain to accept the mirror image as its true hand/arm.
These experiments allow the participant to feel their brains doing mental gymnastics to solve sensory
discrepancy. On the conclusion of the mirror experiment, each participant moved to become the next
mirror instructor. These mirror experiments created improbable data that the brain flags as suspect.
The brain is not using a higher level intellectual knowledge of the mirror optics to recognize the
data’s improbability, but is instinctively reacting to inconsistencies. If the participant feels touch in the
real left hand, the phenomenon is called inter-manual touch referral. This phenomenon has been
adapted to treating phantom pain in missing limbs and CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome).
20
Understanding how the brain functions informs why sculpting Is so effective in changing perceptions.
Sculpting can create a seductive visual picture with imagery, movement, boundaries, spatial
distancing, and non-verbal communication.
Exploring the Process of Healing Old Wounds
Elsbeth Martindale, presenter
Elsbeth showed the process she uses in healing emotional wounds in clients. She gave a handout
that explained the nine steps she uses and then
discussed each step she uses:
1) Finding compassionate witness
2) Telling the Story of the wounding
3) Identify feelings
4) Build connection between the wounded child and the wise man or women
5) Reflect the hurt of the child
6) Establish empathic bond
7) Explore and expose beliefs
8) Offer replacement beliefs
9) Translate healing into day to day life
Elsbeth led the group in discussion of how this process is similar and different from other therapists
and healers. They then identified core ingredients for healing.
Saturday Night Celebration
Women’s
Chorus
La Femme Brigitte!
Men’s
Joanne & Richard
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A postscript from Walter
Dear IHLRN participant's at the Tours, France Conference:
This is a letter of appreciation to the participants of the IHLRN Conference in
Tours, France. I appreciate each of you for being there and for the support and
acceptance I received from each of you. In looking back, I am aware that I said
things and behaved in ways that might have offended several of the
participants, if so I apologize. I may be getting older, I have not stopped
learning, stumbling, or growing, Again thanks for your support during my
struggle with becoming more fully human. Virginia Said "We need to focus
more on our delivery than our intentions." Hope to see and hug each of you in
San Diego at the 2012 Conference.
With affection, Wally Zahn
Let’s just
sit awhile!
B@jksv?xzt!
Murray
Mickey
A Post-Conference tour sing-along song from Holley & Brigitte
C’mon along, C’mon along
We’ve got a great chateau for you.
It’s up a hill
And then a ramp
And oh yes — stairs… there are a few—
It’s just up a hundred steps
but you haven’t hit the top,
Down a hundred more, will it ever stop?
We’re out of breath and panting now,
Let’s take a bow.
C’mon along, c’mon along,
A great adventure you’ll agree—
We’’ll take a train — and then a cab
(that’s if the motor starts tout suite).
But if you care to join us
Be a good sport and keep going —
You’ll have a ball. For after all —
We’ve got a great chateau for you!
22
Yeah Mickey!
A note of interest from Betty Joan and John
Since many of the IHLRNers are fans of Garrison Keillor and Prairie Home Companion we'd like to
tell you about our 7-day cruise in July with him and the entire cast of the program. We joined about
950 other fans on Holland America's Ms Maasdam for a cruise from Boston to Montreal, with stops at
Bar Harbor, Halifax, Sydney, and Quebec City.
It was a wonderful experience! Every night they put on an hour and a half show. And every day
the cast and individual musicians played for several hours at various locations on the ship. It was
great fun to have a snack or a chance encounter with the cast members and get to know them on a
more personal basis. They were very relaxed, available, and interesting to be with. We particularly
enjoyed the several encounters we had with Fred Newman, their incredible sound effects guy. He is
fascinating!
We had a nice extended personal conversation with Garrison, talking mostly about his stroke
and Betty Joan's. He was particularly interested in what she had to say because she is both an MD
specializing in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation and a recovering stroke patient herself. Only
drawback was the ship - not in great shape - and we don't recommend that vessel if you ever cruise
Holland America!
Their next chartered cruise, on the Ms Ryndam, will be in August 2012 from Amsterdam to Barcelona.
We have missed everyone at the recent meetings, and we're looking forward to seeing you next year
here in San Diego!
Betty Joan and John
Coconut oil is amazingly good for you.
Put two teaspoon in your tea every morning,
Good for your memory, immune system and metabolism.
Love and light, Solveig from England
Photos courtesy of Ann Steiner, Harvey Lewis, Wendy Silver and M.A. Bjarkman
Graphics: Janet Bernson
23
Exciting News!!! ... introducing Hiroshi ( Hiro) M. Sasaki PH.D.
I would like you to meet my son Hiro who recently has been invited to be a
board member of AHP. Thinking about Virginia's beautiful connection with
AHP, I am feeling so grateful that Hiro was chosen to be a board member.
Hiro is fluent in Japanese, English, Compassion and Enthusiasm.
My wish is that he would make time for our San Diego IHLRN and could meet
each one of you in person this October!!
Our family had our holidays in Japan (Dec. 2011~ January 2012) and I would
like to share just one of the many pictures.
I will be there in San Diego! Cannot wait to Be with You!!!
Big Hugs, Gratitude, Laughter and Love, miko
Hiro and Miko at the Osaka Castle, Japan ( January 2012)
10 Laughs for our IHLRN Buddies
Joan Herrick-Hansen, the Silent Joker
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
Sr. Maria
Murray & M.A.
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Maria Rosa and Ron Reifler Update
Ron and Maria Rosa want everyone to know that Ron is doing much better now. The radiation
treatments are now just history. They thank everyone for the loving kindnesses shown and ask that
friends continue to send energy, healing prayers and love. They expect to be with us all in San Diego
next October – and they remind us to cherish each day!
les jardins de Villandry
News about our associate, Ann Steiner
Looks like Ann’s been busy: She was just elected to the American Group Psychotherapy Society’s
Board of Directors, in November she was given the Arthritis Foundation’s Northern California
Chapter’s Exceptional Service Award for 2011, she was an invited contributor about the Therapist’s
Professional Will for 3 publications and is surprised to find that her manual, Starting and Sustaining
Groups that Thrive: Workbook and Planning Guide, has started to "get legs"- she is getting orders
from all over the country.
Invited Contributor: Preparing Your Clients and Yourself for the Unexpected: Therapist Illness,
Retirement, and Death, The Therapist, Vol. 23, Issue 6, November/December, 2011.
Invited
Contributor: Therapists Need a Strong Back-up Plan, The National Psychologist, July/August 2011.
Invited Contributor: The Therapist’s Professional Will: A Back-Up Plan Every Clinician Needs,
GROUP Journal of the Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society (Special Issue: The Aging of Group
Therapists), Vol. 35.1, March 2011.
La crêpe blé noir est merveilleux
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Yes! We ARE International !!!
IHLRN was true to its name this year — very international! We were in
France and we were graced with two people from Slovakia (thanks to
Walter) Eva Holubova & Nada Feketeova and one from the Phillipines, Sr.
Maria Lirio Guillermo. Maria teaches at her convent and at several
universities. She uses Virginia's
materials in her classes and brought
Virginia to life in her classes in such
a way that her students thought
Virginia was indeed still alive! They
sent a huge,16x20, lovely Thank
You card to Virginia with Maria!
Many students wrote personal notes
in the card. Some examples:
Madam Virginia, I am really very thankful for having the chance to
learn your modules on family development. It personally helped me
to understand why a certain person acts as such just by knowing
his family background. It also helped me build stronger ties with my
own family and my friends. Thank you for being an instrument of inspiration. Sincerely, Sem. Rendell Pena
Madam Virginia, I would like to thank you for the wonderful sharing regarding family mapping. "We are not
alone" as we journey toward our vocation. Thank you, Ariel Batondo
Thanks be to God! The Human Development course of Sr Lirio
helped me in understanding myself better. Before entering the
convent I never get to appreciate
the kind of family God gave me, not
that I do not love them, but I never
realized that how my parents
persevered in giving love and care
to 7 children will affect our entire
lives. To the Satir Module which Sr.
Lirio used in her course, I was able
to process more my emotions and
behaviors which I never knew how I
could either reform or develop. I
pray that your conference would be
able to discover more about human
development and help more
people. Thank you and God bless
your gathering, Sr. Jean
Madam Virginia Satir, Thank you for learning about coping mechanism which
I am sure it will help me to live a life to the fullest. Thank you for revisiting my family, I become ever more close
to them. The change model metaphor serves as my guide on my journey to offer my life without reserve.
Gratefully yours, Sr. Lety
Maria, Walter, Eva
& Nada
26
Silent Auction Results I just wanted to thank everyone who participated this year
in our annual Silent Auction and for being willing to cart
your treasures all the way to France. I think for that reason
it was one of our smaller earning years, but over the past 5
years that I have been involved and keeping records we
have collected over $14,000.00 for the Scholarship Fund.
I believe the Silent Auction first happened in San Diego in
2005 and became a great success.
I have enjoyed
working with Joanne Kennedy and all of our helpers over
the years. It is a very rewarding way of giving back. It also
helps a great deal toward people being able to attend our conferences.
Wendy & Sharon
We will be back in San Diego this year where it all started and I am hoping it will turn out to be one of
our record years for the Auction.
I cannot wait to see all of your wonderful faces in the fall.
Hugs & Love
Wendy Silver
Liv @ lunch (dejeuner)
Mickey & Sandy @ Chenonceau
Barbara and Bob
Todd & Carol
27
Nada & Walter
Brigitte, Lois & Holley
Curtiss & Roseann
Judy & Lois
?
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y
rve
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r
&B
.. w
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o
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v
ha
o
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igi
International Human Learning Resources Network(IHLRN)
is an organization that was begun by Virginia Satir in 1970 to
foster human growth and development by means of a conference
that focuses on innovations in family therapy and intervention tools
that she and others had developed, and other recent developments.
28