18th Issue (TV)

Official OPS Publication of
Sittner and Meske Halls
I S S U E
1 8
A P R I L
3 ,
2 0 1 6
BIBLE FOR DUMMIES
“GIVE YOUR BURDENS TO THE LORD AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF
YOU. HE WILL NOT PERMIT THE GODLY TO SLIP AND FALL.”
PSALMS 55:22
©
30 second story
UPCOMING
EVENTS:
Two guys were in a store, and
they were both watching the television when the news came on. It
showed a guy on a bridge who
was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump,"
said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he
won't," said the second guy. Then,
the guy on the television closed
his eyes and threw himself off the
bridge. The second guy hands the
first guy the money. "I can't take
your money," said the first guy. "I
cheated you. The same story was
on the five o'clock news." "No,
no. Take it," said the second guy.
"I saw the five o'clock news too. I
just didn't think the guy was dumb
enough to jump again!"
10 Facts about TV!
1. By the time the American child reaches 14, on an average they have seen around
11,000 murders on television.
2. NASA has announced that they have lost all of their original tapes of Apollo 11’s
TV transmission in August, 2006.
3. Jim Carrey was offered the role of the 8th doctor in Doctor Who but declined
4. In every episode of the cartoon ‘adventure time’ there is a small hidden snail waving at you.
5. Yoda and Miss Piggy were voiced by the same person.
6. HBO passed up The Walking Dead because they thought it was too violent.
7. Heath Ledger asked Christian Bale to actually beat him for the interrogation scene
in the Dark Knight.
8. The police were called 91 times during the filming of “Borat”.
9. For each word he said in Terminator 2, Arnold Schwarzenegger was paid $21,429.
10. In 1997, a 15 million dollar movie named “Trojan War” only made $309 in ticket
sales.
11. If you arrange the first letters if the names if main characters in Inception, you
would get DREAMS
Q U OT E O F T H E W E E K
“ONE CRIES BECAUSE ONE IS SAD. I CRY BECAUSE OTHERS ARE STUPID, AND
THAT MAKES ME SAD.” — SHELDON COOPER
R A N D O M E S T FA C T YO U L L E V E R R E A D
“NONE OF THE SHOPS IN DISNEY WORLD SELL GUM, WHICH IS WHY YOU NEVER SEE
ANY STUCK TO THE RIDES OR SIDEWALKS.
S H OW E R T H O U G H T
“CLAPPING IS JUST HITTING YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU LIKE SOMETHING…”
Created and edited by Andre Gonzalez
S H OW E R T H O U G H T 2
“MY STOMACH THINKS ALL
You’re gonna cry as to
how bad these are —>
POTATOS ARE MASHED…”
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Questions, Comments, Concerns, Ideas? Text (805) 905-1015 to ask or submit!
 “I just story a
car!” = Grand Theft
Autocorrect.
I saw a guy hold up his
little boy to shield his
eyes from the brightness
and I thought, I hope he
doesn’t lose those
songlasses.
I can’t eat breakfast without a couple slices of
wheat on the side because I’m lack-toast intolerant.
Fall clothing really wears
on my bank account. I
want to stop buying, but I
always end up swiping
my debit cardigan.
Pizza chefs who have
flour on their face at the
end of a long shift call
that a 5-o’clock
shadough.
My puns may be cheesy
but I still think they’re
pretty gouda.
Created and edited by Andre Gonzalez