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© Monash Student Association (Clayton) Incorporated (MSA). Lot’s Wife is published on behalf of MSA. All enquiries about the
reproduction and communication of material from Lot’s Wife should be directed to MSA.
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green weeii edition
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volume XXXIX edition 6 printpost approved pp338685/0006
POWDERFINGER
SOMETHING FOR KATE
ICE CREAM HANDS
8 pm Wednesday the 4th, August '99
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EDITION
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H E W Ti P A P f-T R
^ H
Advertising
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^ 1
H
OUTWORKERS
those who gave up ^ 1
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and rocked the free
^ 1
world with us...
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^ H
GENEVA CONVENTION
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POWDERFINGER
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Thanl<-you to all
Typesetters
Tamsin Molesworth
Sub Editors:
News
Alyssa Grant
Sam Harrison
Kathryn James
Mij^ic
iTrUwf V
Anthony Brasher
Nat Oliver
MarkAmess
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Creative Writing
Will King
Don Wan
H
I.T.
Jeremy Tan
Ronny Uew
Entertairjment
Dave 'Dawson' McLay
Georgia Taft
Carly Millar
Graphics/Photography
Annabelle Waldron
•
•
Sport
Erene 'Ren' Braimis
Simon 'Cookie' Cooke
7
B
BELIEF
9
1D
MILLENIUM
LAYOUT
Editorial
5
^ H
NEWS-News In brief
9
^ H
MSA mouthing off
10
FROM THE PULPIT
13
^ M
FEATURES
24
^ M
IT COM
27
^ M
WORDS.WORDS.WORDS
30
^ H
OVATION Entertainment
34
^ H
Reviews
40
^ H
SCORE
44
NIBHTB
2&/D7
4/S & 5/a
1 G/oa
ZS/B
• 6/9
1 5/9 & 1 6/9
2 7/09
e/ia
& 2S/B
& 7/1 a
^H
EDITORIAL POUCY
Resources supplied by;
[4]
rr nr'^'i
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NON CAP
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6
•
Lots publication schedule
DEADLINE
IS
^H
Internet
Naomi Civins
Oliver Daly
ARTICLE
FEMINISM AND THE MEDIA"
Letters to the Editors
^M
EDITION / THEME
GREEN WEEK MEMORIES
24
Editors
Ozan Ibrisim
Claire Hammond
Asha Holmes
MB
Lot's wife is a publication of the MSA
p r i n t e d by'Westemport Printing. We cBBBM
Accept any racist,
sexist,homophot
militaristic material. The views express
the paper are not necessarily those <
editors or the MSA
H
z
H
m
n
7
H
Ul
editorial
jversity pastip-ies such as drinkine fii! you yoim a<'d
feed.The
We realise that with Green We*then re^ionsuming. However, we feel i h j t
a precedent for all studs'-^ •"
: There was a decision.made to anc^t ir.g eoitcis lo piint r.aineo with all letters submitted that refer to another person. On fgce value this
i decision comes across as not all that bad but, the problem lies in the fact that the people making this decision, the MSB members, ar^
those individuals that have been referred to in letters on numerous occasions. Most of these members are office-bearers who voice their\
opinions regularly In Lot's Wife. What many of them forget is that once you voice your opinion in a public forum, you open yourself up to '
criticism. As editors of the paper any piece of work that appears to criticise a group or individuai should be respected as a valid.oplnion that
somebody holds (as long tt adheres to the editorial poljcy^. Based on this it should not matter whether a by-line appears or not^ Often
people that write in to critfcise do not feel comfortable pnnting their name, although they still believe in what they write and should not be
forced to have a "strength of conviction'. By directing us to print "full legal names' we are faced with a situation where there may be
students who no longer feel that they can contnbute to the paper without facing retribution. The MSB should be focusing on what is said
rather than who is saying it.
The MSB has not only shown a latk of faith In us as editors but some members have accused us ofwritingany letter that holds them
accountable and appears without a legal name'. Just for the record, if we wanted to criticise the MSA we would be more than glad to put
our names in capital letters beneath It. ,
The precedent has been set by the MSB that raises the question^of autonomy for Lot's Wife. This MSB needs to realise that we have a role
as an independent media, we do not encourage 'backlash, attacks' and we are more than capable as editors to edit what goes into this
publication. This year's MSB may stop using their constitutional power in regards to lot's Wife after this one-off decision however, with the
precedent set, how far can future MSBs go in directing and, to a certain extent, controlling your student paper?
Claire, Ozan, Asha, Lot's Wife Editors
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B^H
THE WAY IT ARRIVES UNINVITED
THE CHUNKS OF CARROT
THE WAY IT BURNS YOUR
THROAT
THE WAY IT STAINS YOUR
CLOTHES
THE WAY IT COMES OUT YOUR
NOSE
THE BILE WHEN THERE IS NO
VOMIT LEFT
RECONSUMPTION
THE WAY CAF FOOD LOOKS BETTER
THE SECOND TIME AROUND
9
THE WAY THE TASTE LINGERS ON
A BURP
10
THE WAY IT MAKES YOU STOP
DRINKING (UNTIL YOU START AGAIN)
LOTS 'A LET
DOWD
WN-BIAS BLAH
BLAH BLAH
AND THEN THERE
WERE FIVE
PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATE?
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
Although I commend your ingenuity in
conceiving the Bimbo issue, I feel you may
have misunderstood the meaning of parody
and instead gone overboard in your
presentation of women as sex objects. By
mocking Bimbo "retro fashion", telling the
story of "Sophie - How to Get a Hangover"
and fake adolescent letters to the
patronising Dr Nick, you are creating a
group separate from women - the 'bimbo',
stupid, fashion-obsessed and slutty. It is so
important that we realise it is the fashion
magazines Bimbo mimicked that create this
group, and no fault of the women
themselves. 6/m5o did not parody women's
magazines, it mocked the kind of women
who feel the need to read them - the women
who can only see their place in society as
sexually attractive females. The editors had
stated that "the only way to reverse this
trend [of women's magazines] is to alter the
attitudes of society". Aside from Rebecca
Boreham's article, I question whether the
editors really believe that producing the
Bimbo edition was a positive step towards
altering the attitudes of society.
The Monash Democrats oppose the
negotiated GST legislation and the
involvement of five Australian Democrats
Senators in it. The deal contradicts
Australian Democrats' policy, and therefore,
the senators who voted for it did so using a
conscience vote. In voting against the
package. Senators Natasha Stott Despoja
and Andrew Bartlett voted in accordance
with Australian Democrats policy on the
environment, education and social justice.
We congratulate them on their stance.
Firstly, on the recent outrageous antifeminist back-lash in Lot's: Why has such a
mild article on women's culture prompted
such a vitriolic tirade against Rebecca
personally? Could it be that the truth of her
words, reminding us that women are still
oppressed, touched a raw nerve in the
privileged parts of the Uni community, who's
status she challenges? Is this why so many
attacks were made on Rebecca personally,
and not her political content, or the
subsequent actions and comments of the
democratically constituted Women's Affairs
Collective? Further, congratulations to MSB
for its strong stand in compelling Lof's to
print the names of writers of letters which
identify (attack?) other individuals.
In an issue dedicated to teaching sexist
women's magazines to "kiss our perky
arse" we were subjected to an article about
"tasteful", "not sleazy", "immensely
enjoyable" occupation, that of female strip
cabaret. In this women are told there is
nothing wrong with selling our bodies
because after all, it opens doors to careers
in "marketing, promotion, management and
many others". Well, why am I wasting my
time on a degree - if only I could work past
those pesky principles of mine, I could really
kick start my career! What a shame women
like me find it hard to compromise our
dignity, integrity and pride in order to make
a few bucks.
Although Lot's constantly tells us it is
committed to free speech and non-bias
blah blah blah, I suggest that the editors
should exercise more editing. This does not
mean being selective and exclusive about
what you publish, rather monitoring the
relevance or necessity of printing certain
submissions. It also means keeping clear
of articles written in bad taste, such as the
pornography article (edition 4).
Finally, I point out that no one else who
writes in has the opportunity to print a "note"
after every letter they find personally
confronting. Perhaps the Lot's editors
should realise that the letters page is not a
vehicle for them to reply to every view put
forth by readers. If that was the case then
they should publish their home addresses
and discontinue the letters page altogether.
Claire Kelly
Woman XIX
[6]
NONCAF
Daniel Berk, Ciar Foster, Adrian King,
Adam McBeth, Polly Morgan,
Monash Democrats
[
PREZVSPRE2
Dear Lot's,
I am disappointed that Gavin Ryan did not
know better than to attack a staff member
in print. If his intention was to criticise MSA
policy, as I assume it was, why not do so
directly? Or indeed constructively? If he
was so concerned why did he not raise the
issue at MSB, or when the issue was
discussed at the most recent SGM?
It is timely however, to discuss the reasons
behind our decision to share the President's
honorarium with the Welfare Officer. Firstly,
it was a reflection of our desire to reject
hierarchy in the office. Secondly, it was a
recognition of the fact that all office bearers,
not just the President, work very hard.
Thirdly it was motivated by a desire that
students have access to a committed and
full-time welfare activist. As you can see,
the policy was dictated, not by a 'Peter Reith
wet dream', but by student need and a
desire to see equity in the office.
Secondly I write to condemn the Australian
Democrats and Lees in particular.
Undeniably a GST is a socially regressive
tax which penalises the 'have-nots' to the
great and direct advantage of the 'alreadyhaves-but-wanting-more.' Until recently, I
was an office-bearer of the Monash
Democrats, a club not formally affiliated with
the party, but obviously sympathetic to its
social justice and environmental policies.
I've now resigned from the club, unable to
be associated with even the Democrats
name in any way I keenly await the view of
the Democrats on campus on this issue.
How, or if, they continue to support the party
will be interesting to see.
Carolyn Snail,
Arts/Law V
1^*^12-^
''^'v::: , ; . - ^
A FAIRLY OPEN
INDIVIDUAL
Dear Lot's,
Moreover, Gavin's criticism ignores the fact
that the President is still paid more than
many students, and most of them are not
'bankrolled by their parents' either. What's
more, Gavin, it seems, has conveniently
forgotten that the President's honorarium
is now on a par with that of the Lot's Editors,
is only marginally less than that paid to
office bearers last year (with the exception
of the President) and is significantly more
than that paid to the Activities Chairs.
Finally I wonder whether or not, when Gavin
was penning his criticism of the Editor's for
publishing June's letter on the basis that
she is not a student, it occurred to him that
he is not a student either
Andrew Saunders
President, MSA
I am disappointed. I'm disappointed that in
this day and age, and at university none the
less, some people don't know a piss-take
when they see one. I refer, of course, to the
backlash against an article (of which I am
one of the authors) called "Bottom of the
barrel".
I have heard it referred to as homophobic,
heterocentric, pornographic and militantly
anti-women. I have also heard it referred to
as the funniest thing in i.of's for years. As
nobody knew I was a co-author, I got a fairly
good view of the reaction.
If you've found my article offensive, then I'm
afraid you've missed the point. I do not
consider myself to be any of the things that
'bottom of the barrel' has been called. I have
gay friends, I hang out in Wholefoods
occasionally and consider myself to be a
fairly open individual. I do not believe that
any of the concepts expressed in 'bottom
of the barrel' are savory, and if you take them
seriously downright offensive. The thing is
that 'barrel' is supposed to make fun of the
lowest common denominator and guess
what, that lowest common denominator is
sexist, mysoginistic and homophobic. I
believe if you can laugh at them, you're a
tetter person for it.
Duncan Lockle
Barrel Dweller
Arts/Erg III
XOUNTABILITY OR
CENSORSHIP'
Dear Lot's,
I was appalled to hear that our MSA, the
organisation that purports to uphold
students' rights, is now taking them away
In a recent Monash Student Board meeting,
(the apparatus that does much of the
decision making on behalf of you, the
student) a motion was passed directing the
editors of this publication to print, with any
letter that mentions another student (read
office bearer), the full legal name of the
writer of that letter. Supposedly this is an
attempt to promote accountability and stop
slanderous material, which is all well and
good, but what it in reality does Is deny any
writer their right to anonymity.
One of Lot's Wife's many functions Is to act
as a forum for students to voice their
concerns and/or praise for the organisation
and the officials whom they elected the
previous Septemtser. The right to pen a letter
under a false name is theirs because
anyone who has a criticism of the
administration does not, and should not
have to fear recrimination or retribution for
speaking out. If the MSA office bearers have
such fragile egos, maybe they should have
thought about the realities and
responsibilities of holding office before they
ran last year You will be criticised. That is
our right as students, and it is a healthy and
crucial component of any democracy.
If this decision deters any student from
contributing to the paper, to the workings
of student government or to simply giving
their opinion for fear that they will be put on
some sort of 'hit list', then it is a form of
censorship, and cannot be abided. To deter
debate by denying a student their right to
anonymity is undemocratic, and
unacceptable. The MSA is elected by the
students to represent the students. It seems
that now they only represent themselves.
Rory Lane
Arts III
Ipljl^^wi^^
STATIC ATTITUDES
Dear tof's,
In response to "Expecting the backlash" I'm glad you acknowledge womyn's
inequality but the extent to which they are
being "slowly righted" is questionable.
Feminism is not just about equal pay and
material forms of oppression. It is about the
underlying attitudes of society towards
womyn.
The past two editions of Lot's Wife in
particular are evidence of the static
attitudes. The idea that porn is "relatively
harmless"
for
example.
The
commodification of womyn's bodies
equates with the ownership of womyn. I'm
not unaware of womyn's use of pom or
homosexual porn but the fact that some
womyn (and men) find it offensive and sexist
directly contradicts Lot's Wife's editorial
policy
Feminism isn't just a thing that happened
in the 70's that's all sorted out now. As a
man you have to accept that you have not
been oppressed on the basis of sex. You
are more likely to be in the driver's seat.
•Vou are less likely to be raped or have
anorexia.
By the way, feminism should be
"confrontational", or is it too aggressive for
womyn to demand change?
Marie Spyros
Arts II
PS. How are you going to spell "myn" now?
[
^«".:
• I
MSA GIVES HIM
NOTHING
taken. However, at the next Monash Student
Board meeting the Insidious nature of the
current members was revealed when they
attempted to pass a motion under general
business to the effect that Lot's editors must
print names in regards to certain letters.
Seemingly, the only responsible member in
attendance was Will Fowles who pulled
quorum correctly stating that the editors
should be allowed to respond to such a
move.
probably means that I shall no longer be
able to wander around as 1 now can, if I feel
like it, for with so many other
undergraduates paying, and so many other
undergraduates not paying, soon there will
tie guards on the unions doors, and I shall
only be able to enter if I have a special pass,
which I object to. I have no objection to
paying and having a special ID for sporting
facilities, but I am growing too old for them,
preferring elsewhere.
Despite the arguments of the team in Lot's
- the fact that they were democratically
voted into office; the fact that students
should be allowed anonymity; the fact that
the BiTE ticket (whose candidates now
dominate I^SB) Lot's Wife component was
defeated in last years election, hence the
platform the current editors ran on should
be respected. But in pursuing their own
personal vendettas the motion was passed
by MSB,
I do not believe in compulsory Trade
Unionism, but Brother Jeff is showing us
the need for Trade Unions, but please,
Student Unions are not Trade Unions, and
to think the two are the same is either pure
ignorance, or blind prejudice, both of which
appear to be hale and flourishing among
Australia's elites.
This move signifies the nature of many of
this years MSA office bearers. Although the
MSA constitution vaguely alludes to MSB's
right to govern all aspects of the MSA, one
can only feel that a dangerous precedent
has been set. At what point do you now
draw the line? Can any decisions made by
elected editors be reversed or made
redundant? To see a small group drunk on
what little power they believe they hold it's truly pathetic.
Raph Colella
Com/Eco IV
[
BROTHER JEFF
Qggf LQfg
Occasionally I still visit the old place and
pick-up the odd Lot's Wife. But not all, so
what I am writing, has probably already
been answered.
Dear Lot c
Over the past number of weeks the
antagonistic attitude that certain elements
within the Monash Student Association have
directed towards Lot's Wife has intensified.
The rapacious nature of some of our office
bearers and the Monash Student Board in
general has left question marks over the
integrity, commitment and dedication to the
institution to which they were elected.
Recent actions have brought into doubt the
independence of the Lot's editorial team
and the extent to which their mandate is
respected, if at all.
With roughly two weeks left in semester one
the first Media Committee meeting was
held. Not long after moving a WAC meeting
into the Lot's Wife office (a purely
confrontational and negative approach to
resolving any issues), Rebecca Boreham
used this forum to raise her concerns about
Lot's Wife (edn 4). It was here that the notion
of MSB issuing directives to the editors was
first mooted, although no official line was
Last week on such a visit, I picked-up
Edition 3, and perusing it I came across
Katie Lockey's Opinion about Student
Unions. The quote at the head of her writing
struck me, so I read a nice little pro
Government piece.
I do not understand why she thinks as she
does. She equates Student Unions with
Trade Unions.
1. They were not and should not be, having,
I understand, originated from the Oxford
University's Debating Union.
2. It seems they have waxed and flourished,
and taken over many roles once never
thought of.
3. It also seems they are, usually, run by left
wing types. I wonder whether this is
because right wing types prefer to get on
with their studies so as to get that better
job?
4.1 am opposed to the present proposed
change, but I seem to champion lost
causes, so this change will come, which
M I T C H
DOWD
Boxen. Socks, Sleepwear
MITCH DOWD LETTER
OF THE EDITION.
Come up to the office
to collect your boxers.
Your umquhile student,
Nicholas R COLE
Dear Lot's,
Dear Lot's,
Things were so much easier when we were
young and innocent. When you could eat
dirt and pick your nose without being told
off (although Mum still gets on my back
about that). When everybody else wet the
bed and when playdough and clag tasted
great.
Those were the days when you could tell
the checkout chick that boys had penis' and
girls had vagina's without being locked
away Saying "I'll show you mine if you show
me yours" wasn't sexual harassment.
"You're not coming to my party" was a
legitimate threat and you were encouraged
to run naked on the beach in front of
everyonel Those were the times when
people helped you to go the toilet - even
though you were completely sober! There
were no confusing double meanings - a fag
was just a lolly or a pretend smoke. And if
you needed Mum or Dad after bed time,
you didn't get up; you just screamed out
from bed until one of them came into your
room. Then, when you asked them to turn
the light off, they'd actually do It! Those were
the days. I loved it, and I still do. But I guess
university is the time for me to grow up.
Maybe it's time I matured. Surely things will
still be as fun... right?
Starting from now, second semester, I will
no longer drink free Activities beer as If it is
holy water. I won't run around naked with
friends. I won't participate in immature
drinking games and I won't run around the
city terrorising security guards, stealing
signs and pla,ying "stacks on" in front of
parliament house.
So, what Is this Green Week thing anyway?
I am an extremely happy student because
of the fact that I know, although just for the
immediate future, my representation and
services will tie immune from the regressive
anti-union attacks of the Howard
government. Of course my source of
happiness comes from the VSU legislation
not being debated until August when the
Democrats in their own words "keep VSU
off the agenda". I thank them for it, but it
doesn't take long for me to remember that
this is the same party that sold off the
working class in 1996 through the
amendments to the workplace relations act,
and now they have sold off the poor and
the less privilged members of this society
by entering into a deal with the coalition to
pass a GST that excluded the 10%
consumption tax from food. By less
privileged members I mean the
unemployed, the elderly, students, the
disabled and anyone vi/ho may be a lowincome earner and will be paying a tax on
other 'essentials' that the Democrats have
ignored in their tokenistic attempts at
making an inherently regressive tax more
equal and just.
The government has talked about
compensations through PAYE tax cuts,
however people who have been listed in
the 'less-privileged' category often do not
have an income and are dependant on
benefits. Will the government inject money
into the welfare system? I don't think so.
Judging by the millions they have taken out
in consecutive budgets, when the GST is
implemented compensation in the form of
an increase in welfare expenditure will only
aid to bring people back on to the poverty
line. So I hope the Democrats, as the party
with the balance of power, will do their
members and the voters of this country
justice by not becoming one of the bastards
and selling off all their principles and
policies.
Gordon 'Gordo' Oldham
ARTS/ED II
Jason Hughes
Scllll
NON CAF
m
The government's Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU)
legislation has been taken off the agenda much to
the dismay of the government who were trying to get
it through the Senate before the Senators who got
elected in last year's election took up their posts. It
was a hectic week In the Senate with the government
trying to get their tax reform legislation, of which the
goods and services played a central part. The
government also had the further sale of Telstra as a
high priority.
After hundreds of amendments moved by the
Democrats, the Greens and the Labor party, the final
vote for the GST took place on Monday 28"' June.
Despite Senator Stott-Despoja and Senator Bartlett
of the Democrats crossing the floor, the numbers were
still enough for the government to get the majority of
the proposed amendments to the taxation law,
especially the GST through the Senate. The focus on
these legislation meant that the controversial VSU
legislation did not get debated in the couple of sitting
days prior to the changeover of the Senate. This has
been hailed as a victory by students around the
country, who were at the forefront of a variety of groups
that had actively opposed the legislation that was
threatening the survival of student associations.
The government has indicated that it will bring the
legislation into the Senate for debate in the August
sitting at which time the Democrats have the balance
of power, and are committed to voting against the
bill. The government has been criticised for pursuing
an ideological agenda to destroy student
associations, Fergus Vial, State Education Officer for
the National Union of Students (NUS), said that "this
government has a fundamental opposition to
unionism and unfortunately student unions have been
the main target this year, however we have won a
battle. That said, there is still the war to fight
considering VSU is in place in Victoria and still on the
Coalition's agenda. The only way we can ensure that
VSU will stay off the political agenda is to get rid of
the Coalition government."
The government was criticised for its opposition to
unionism, and its reflections on the drafting of the VSU
bill, with some stating that the absurd logic behind
the bill would mean that we could legislate against
Rugby Union and even Marltial Union.
Dave Shepherd
[8]
NON CAF
wages
Following the recent report of the Industrial Relations
Commission on youth wages, it seems that the light
at the end of the tunnel for young workers may in fact
be an oncoming train. The IRC's report was the result
of the government's negotiations with the Democrats
on industrial relations in 1996. Like its Labor
predecessor, the Liberal government was a strong
believer in lower wages for younger workers, on the
ground that employers would overlook young people
if they had to pay them the same as older people,
leading to increased youth unemployment. The
Democrats, who opposed the discriminatory nature
of lower youth wages, pushed for the IRC report to
back their claims that abolishing differential wages
would not increase youth unemployment.
Contrary to the expectations of the Democrats, the
IRC report found that job losses for young workers
would occur as a result of abolishing youth wages.
The report indicated that job losses would be
accentuated due to the fact that the overwhelming
majority of new jobs for young workers are casual or
part-time.
These arguments are familiar; they are the same
arguments that were used to oppose equal pay for
women, and to oppose periodic increases in the
minimum wage.
The result of the IRC report may be a no-win situation
for young workers. If its results are adopted by
parliament, youth wages are likely to spread to
industries where they don't currently exist, and the
difference between a young worker's pay and that of
an older workmate is likely to increase. However, If
the Democrats maintain their opposition to youth
wages on the ground that they are discriminatory, and
if the IRC report is correct, the result may be job losses
tor young people. If the Labor Party's proposal
prevails, youth wages will be renamed "training rates",
to be based on years since leaving school rather than
age, but will remain discriminatory in nature. Whatever
the outcome, it is not likely to be good news for young
people.
Adam McBeth
n e \% s
JABILUKA
The campaign against the Jabiluka uranium mine has been underway for the last 18 months. This campaign is now reaching
a critical stage, with the first phase of the mine construction due for completion in the near future. For this reason anyone
who is concerned about this issue is urged to get involved.
In December last year a UN World Heritage Bureau team - the highest level environmental delegation ever to visit Australia
- investigated the Jabiluka proposal and concluded that the proposal represented a major threat to the cultural and
environmental values of the area, and as such, suggested that the area be classed as Endangered. A World Heritage
Endangered listing would make Jabiluka one of less than 20 such sites worldwide. The UN team delayed its final decision
to give the Australian government time to provide evidence as to why Jabiluka should not be given an Endangered listing.
The UN's final decision was handed down on July 12th, 1999. Ivluch to the surprise of the campaigners, the UN team found
that the Jabiluka mine would not endanger Kakadu National Park. A group of activists blockaded the building of North
Limited in dissent to the UN decision.
On August 6th the world commemorates Hiroshima Day, the date on which, in 1945 an atomic bomb was dropped on the
city of Hiroshima, Japan, killing tens of thousands of people. Uranium provides the essential fuel for these weapons of mass
destruction. Whilst the government claims that our uranium is not used in nuclear weapons, in reality, all uranium ends up in
a global pool, from which it is very difficult to distinguish which is "Australian" uranium. I encourage everyone to attend the
Hiroshima Day Rally, August 6th, commencing 5.30pm at the State Library.
For more info contact Jabiluka Action Group - 9417 6660.
Fiona Thiessen
MSA Environment Officer
n e w s in
brief
Sleeping on the Job
Come Home Skasey
In Mexico recently an employee of a
morgue and his girlfriend decided to
spice up their sex life a little. They
decided that they were going to do it in
the back of the hearse. Sadly their love
ended in tragedy Turning the engine
on to work the air-conditioning, they
were gassed by the exhaust as they
enjoyed a post-love nap.
Some of the Australian contingent at the
World University Games, being held in
Majorca have made a name for
themselves by offering to buy
Christopher Skase his ticket home, and
making public requests for him to
return. Health willing, you never know...
You Ought to be Congratulated.
A big hand this month goes to John
Howard! Opinion Polls indicate that a
great many people approve of his
leadership. Guys, Johnnie isn't actually
here at the moment - he's overseas...
What Offal?
Pies, yes, the humble pie will be taxed
under the GST However, perhaps the
most alarming news is the move afoot
to lower the 25 percent meat minimum
in pies, thus allowing for more offal to
be added. Hang on - more offal?
Kiwi Extinct
Jeff?
The Herald-Sun's phone-in opinion poll
for 8/7 displayed some results which
begs scrutiny To the question "Do we
need a new State Parliament House?"
out of 601 calls, only 9 voted in favour.
We would like to know which members
they were.
The card that keeps
the family^
together^
Tragic news for nature lovers - at least
if Ansett's latest newsletter is to be
believed. The brochure says; "The kiwi
may be extinct, but Ansett's latest
packages are very much alive and on
sale." While rare, the kiwi is certainly
not extinct, you dodo's.
Sam Harrison
Cost per
Country
i l l l i H l B W y minute
Price per
CflrO:;jgggg
China, Thailand, Indonesia
$0.83
$8.30
Hong Kong
$0.30
$3.0(H
Singapore, Japan, Taiwan
$0.40
$4.00
Philippines, Korea Sth
$0.67
$6.70
Malaysia
$0.56
$5.60
$0.27
$2.70
USA, Canada, UK, Ireland, N2
AVAILABLE NOW FROM:
Campus Pharmacy, Union Building, Clayton Campus
Caulfield Newsagency, 14 Deiby Rd, Caulfield East
Monsu, Peninsula Campus & Caulfield Campus
Or call 1800 817 639 for your nearest store
.
banner unfurled across his window, the stage was set for
the Kemp pinata smashing to begin. Many Bentleigh
shoppers, disgusted with their Federal representative,
grasped the hockey stick firmly in hand and belted the
pinata like mad. Mmmmmm, jelly beans...
The NUS National Education Conference was held in
Adelaide over the weekend of July 10-11. A number of
Monash students attended, and participated in workshops
on the direction of higher education and how to achieve
a more equitable system. It was a great opportunity to
share experiences with other education activists and learn
a wide range of practical skills.
Wk 2: International students in the wori<place. (Highly
exploited group, education campaign)
Wk3: Violence.
Wk 6: Campus Security.
Wk 8: Health (including: Youth suicide, sexual health,
diet, and more)
Wk 11: Mental Health, (depression, dispelling myths,
coping and more)
If you are Interested In any of these (or have an issue or
campaign you would like us to run with), then give me a
call on 9905 1122 or come up and see me in MSA.
Welcome back to MonashI Semester two promises to
Individually this semester I'll be working on childcare
be very exciting. The various committees and divisions
issues (with WAC and MPA), access and equity policy
have a whole range of exciting campaigns and activities Many of you will have noticed the reduced opening hours for the Uni and ensuring the Co-op Book shop remains a
planned. Activities will be doing lots of stuff; Green Week of libraries on this campus, with libraries closed weekends cheap place for students.
of course, will be in week two, featuring Powderflnger, over the holidays and only open 1 -5pm during semester.
who will headline an excellent Union Night bill. Also, look Weekday hours have also been reduced. This of course, Next week is Green week. Now I enjoy a drink as much
out for 'MSA Week' In week three and Club Week in week is great news for students with employment or childcare as the next person, but I've also seen the results of chronic
four.
responsibilities, or with course-required wori< experience alcohol abuse and alcoholism. It is not pretty. I urge
to complete, who have assignments due first week back. everyone to be mindful of the health implications of binge
As you have no doubt heard, we have won the VSU battle, This joy is surpassed only by the 333% increase in fines drinking and constant high alcohol intake. One's liver is
at least for now. The legislation was not debated in the for overdue material. Weekly materials are fined at $1 not a renewable resource and neither is one's brain cells.
Senate before the changeover. Now that the Democrats per day, overnight materials at $5 per day, and short loans Elsewhere in Lot's is an interview conducted with a longhave the balance of power we can be confident that, if at a mere $5 per hour. This rise in fines, with no student term alcoholic, please read it, I hope it inspires some
the legislation is debated, it will be voted down. But, there consultation and no visible advertising, is an outrage.
sobering thoughts.
Is no doubt that VSU Is still on the Coalition agenda. And
of course, we still have the Victorian VSU legislation to The Education Affairs Collective will continue the work Please keep your eyes open for some information
contend with. This legislation Is almost as dangerous, as done over the holidays to address these issues, regarding next weeks campaign for international students.
events at Gippsland this year have shown. However, demanding accessible library opening hours and more This Is the most highly exploited group of students in the
students at Chlsholm TAFE's Frankston Campus appropriate and equitable deterrents for late returns. An work force, often not aware of minimum award rates,
demonstrated that university and TAFE bureaucrats can action will be held on Tuesday 3rd August, with more worker protection and the role of Unions. If you are an
be defeated. Students successfully occupied, stopping details to come.
international student come to the MUlSS office and ask
the administration from evicting the student union and
about syourrightsas a worker.
from withholding the amenities fee.
The Education Affairs Collective, open to any Clayton
Matt Bell
student, meets every Tuesday at 1:00 in the MSA meeting
Although the Democrats must be congratulated for their room (upstairs Union building opposite Wholefoods and
defence of student unions, they must be condemned for the JML) to plot and plan a more democratic society and
passing the GST. It is a regressive tax that will do nothing equitable higher education system. So If there's
but penalise the already disadvantaged. Students will something bothering you, don't just get angry, get active.
PUBLICITY
also be hard hit, as will student unions. In fact, because We'd love to see you.
the amenities fee will attract the GST, services such as
REPORT
childcare which would otherwise be GST exempt, will Any problems, queries, or salutations, contact Danni
attract the tax when provided by a student union.
Ujvari on ext. 51122 (add 990 from external phones), emall [email protected], or come up to Wow. It's hard to believe the year Is half over. Just thirteen
We have also been very busy working on reforming the the MSA.
weeks to go - and so much to do! Now that we've all
MSA itself. Election regulation reform is progressing well
Dannl Ujvari recovered from the rush of last minute essays and
and MSB last week voted to implement the 1997
cramming a whole semester's worth of wortt Into two days
referendum questions, thus making NQS an MSA
study, it's time to get busy in the MSA again. Semester
committee and giving the Sexuality Officers a vote on
two is shaping up well at MSA Publicity. Week Three will
MSB. We will also be setting up a working group to amend
be the second 'Know-Your-MSA' week, and it's gonna be
the MSA Constitution, so if you would like to tie involved
huge! With the threat of Federal VSU now extinguished,
come up and see me, give me a call on x53141 or e-mail
the week will be a celebration of our student association,
me at [email protected].
as well as a reminder of the necessity of maintaining our
opposition to Victorian VSU, which still severely constrains
WELFARE
Andrew Saunders
our activities. All areas of the MSA are planning special
REPORT_
events, so be on the lookout for daily events. During this
week, the MSA will also be launching a number of
initiatives which we've been woridng on throughout the
EVP
A great big welcome back to everyone from the Welfare year.
Committee and from me, your Welfare Officer. We have
REPORT.
returned to Uni with the political landscape of Australia The all new, improved MSA website should be up and
Irrevocably changed. It has been a mixed bag for running, and the Student Delegate Network (SDN) will
Welcome back to second semester. Well, its been all students: VSU has been stopped in Its tracks (Hurray) also iOckoff for the first time. Check out the article in this
rorts and Inefficiencies here. Just kidding. I only wanted and we will soon have a GST (Boo) on books. Amenities edition of Lot's for more information about the SDN and
to give all those "Concerned 3rd years" something Fees, rent, and many other things. The Democrats have a sign-up form. Last, but definitely not least. Is MUTVision.
legitimate to jump up and down about, and save them proven themselves to be more Interested In political power Yes, the in-house television station you've all been waiting
the trouble of concocting wild stories they know to be games than the genuine welfare of the poorest for will be in operation this semester! If you are interested
Australians. It is a pity, but I guess it teaches us a lesson: in being part of it, and you haven't already filled out an
untrue.
Never rely upon politicians to protect your welfare, get application form, just drop into the MSA and grab one
from reception. Remember to keep In touch: read msa
After concerted protests and lobbying, plans to introduce out onto the streets and do it for yourself.
matters, visit us in the offices, become a delegate, or
Voluntary Student Unionism legislation have been
shelved. On Tuesday 29*' June, the day the legislation However, the Welfare Committee is committed to the email [email protected]. 'Till next
was scheduled for debate, an action was held outside genuine welfare of all students and have an exciting time...
Ciar Foster & Natascha Boehm
Dr. Kemp's electoral office. With the magnificent anti-VSU semester planned aimed at promoting welfare Issues:
[10]
NON CAF
WOMYN'S
AFFAIRS
REPORT—
Weteome back everyone, I hope Semester One went well.
As you read, hordes of Monash womyn have just retumed
from the 1999 Networ1< of Womyn Students Conference
energised and excited - the Womyn's Room is a hive of
feminist activism at the moment. Semester Two Is going
to be busy and rewarding so get involvedl Fight for a
feminist future!
DISSENT
Dissent is the annual publication of the Womyn's
Department. Every year womyn on campus write and
produce articles, fiction, artwork... everything and
anything... and then lay it out. This year the Dissent
Collective and the Womyn's Affairs Collective is trying to
produce Dissent earlier in the year so that more womyn
can be involve in the laying out process. All womyn on
campus are Invited to submit - there is a box in the
Womyn's Room or you can leave stuff at MSA reception
in the Womyn's Officer pigeon hole, please leave contact
details (but you don't have to) - and to be a part of the
Dissent Collective check the notice board in the Womyn's
Room, it will be meeting regularly this semester.
Submissions close the end of Week 4 and there will be
writing workshops in Week 3 which all womyn are invited
to attend - see Ret>ecca If Interested. Layout wort(shops
will be held during Womyn in the Media week (late August)
with layout happening in Weeks 7&8.
BLUE STOCKING WEEK - August 1999
Blue Stocking Week is a feminist tradition. It Is meant to
be a celebration of womyn's participation and
achievement In education - traditionally, this is what
happens. This year the Womyn's Affairs Collective wants
to question the relevance of Blue Stocking Week. The
whole concept of Blue Stocking Week comes from
reference to the English womyn who fought and geiined
the right to study at University who were then derided as
"Blue Stocking's' - for some reason they all apparently
wore blue stockings. Grateful though we may be that we
now have the right to study at University, it is important to
ask questions about how Blue Stocking Week functions
to change womyn's position in society and especially
atjout how relevant it is to the everyday struggles of most
womyn. Womyn who actually make it to University in the
first place are in an extremely privileged position. That is
not to say that if you're a womyn who is at University you
are a ruling class womyn, or that you are rich - I'm
certainly not - what it means is that we are lucky to be
able to get here and stay here. At Monash Clayton there
are about 20,000 students, a rough guess would be that
a little over 10,000 of these students would be womyn.
100,000 womyn getting a tertiary education Is fantastic,
but Australia has a population of about 14 million (or at
least it did when 1 last did Geography in Year 9) and there
are billions of people in the world - j u s t over half of them
womyn. How much does my tertiary education change
the situation of a womyn in East Timor whose biggest
daily concern may be what she can feed her children
tomorrow or how to protect them from rape by Indonesian
soldiers? We need to recognise our privilege and the
ways that Blue Stocking Week excludes working class
womyn and womyn who aren't white and work towards
changing this.
So... Blue Stocking Week will be Womyn In Education
week this year (and hopefully will t)e forever more). During
the week the Womyn's Department will be holding several
forums on the participation of wori<ing class and NonEnglish speaking background womyn in higher education,
the position of womyn in University staff hierarchies and
examining how University prepares womyn for the
workforce and the 'real world'.
Blue Stocking Week 1999: Glass Ceilings or Dirt Floors?
Rebecca Boreham
TRANSPORT
REPORT
MSA is preparing a submission to the University Car
Paridng Policy Committee seeking funding for a number
of transport initiatives from the Alternative Transport Fund.
NQS
REPORT.
Rebekah Copeiand is the new Female Sexuality Officer.
Rebekah and I are already planning for second semester.
If you would like any issues or concerns raised please
contact either of us.
NQS is now a Committee of MSA, along with voting rights
on Monash Student Board (MSB). On behalf of NQS I
would like to thank Andrew Saunders, President of MSA,
for his effort, and for assisting in the implementation of
the 1997 referendum questions. Thank you to all the
students who voted in favour of the 1997 referendum
questions. Without your support it would not have been
possible.
The Alternative Transport Fund was established to ensure
that a percentage of income from the sale of red and
blue parking permits (presently 8%) is directed towards
initiatives that promote alternatives to single occupant
car use.
We can now took fonvard to queer students having a
voice within MSA and on MSB. However, there are still
many inequalities existing on campus and within MSA,
so it is up to all students to continue pushing for equality.
In the first year of the scheme, funding was allocated
towarxls trialing new caipool technology, which has proven
successful, and the design of a comprehensive Monash
Transport Infomation Web Site which will be launched
later this year. A proportion of this year's fund has been
used to trial the improved Intercampus Bus service
between Clayton and Caulfield campuses which has been
very well utilised by students and staff.
Students have recently come back from Queer
Collaborations (QC) which was held in Adelaide. QC is
an annual conference relating to exchanging queer
information and issues, educating and raising awareness
about queer issues both in queer and broader
communities, and organising queers nationally and
politically. We all had a fab' time and I hope to see more
students attend next year.
Project ideeis presently being considered and developed
include:
improved pedestrian/cyclist access to the south-west
of campus.
' shifting of the carpool carpark closer to buildings on
campus.
' a study and concept design for improvements to the
train/bus interchange facilities at Huntingdale Station.
It was also the first meeting of the National Sexuality
Committee (NSC) which is part of National Union of
Students (NUS). Well, it's about time NUS established a
queer committee. Good luck to NSC in the future.
MSA Transport is also developing a proposal for bikelanes
on North Rd between Huntingdale Station and Monash
University. This will be submitted to VicRoads in the next
few months seeking project funding.
Week 4 (9-13 August) is this semesters Queer Week.
Events will be taking place during this week on campus,
so keep a look out and join in the fun. Queer Week Is to
provide visibility to queer students on campus, and
highlight the injustices existing on campus which this
institution promotes and reinforces.
Nathan Boyle
We would like to hear from Monash students and staff
with ideas for improvements to public transport, cycling,
carpooling, motor-cycling or pedestrian facilities. Specific
project funding tends to be in the $500-$30,000 range.
Please forward ideas, even undeveloped brainwaves to
MSA Transport, 1st floor, Union Building Clayton.
Jim Black & Simon Hail
QUEER
WEEK =
9-13 August
Fab events throughout the week.
For further information contact t h e Female & Male Sexuality Officers,
R e b e i o h & Nathan. 9 9 0 5 4 1 9 5 or come to the N Q S Office in MSA.
Reinventing Atiiens?.
Participatory Democracy & you.
As a high school politics student, I used to marvel at
descriptions of ancient Athenian democracy. Accustomed
as I was to calling the representative political system
under which we live 'democracy', the Athenian ideals and
practices seemed at once hopelessly unrealistic and
utterly fantastic. Of course, I later learned that Athenian
democracy was only operational via the exclusion of all
but free men - in that time, a relatively small proportion
of the population - from the political process: hardly an
ideal situation. However, the principle of participatory, as
opposed to merely representative, democracy is still
highly relevant. Our current system of politics is, like most
Western democracies, largely non-participatory. The
democratic ideal of empowennent to all citizens extends
only so far as choosing from a usually narrow field of
political representatives once every two to four years.
Public space - the 'polls' of Ancient Athens - is becoming
increasingly privatised and mediated, taking with it true
public debate. More than ever before, we live a politics of
images. Governments and Oppositions alike employ
increasingly sophisticated media management
techniques in an attempt to shape public opinion. In its
mediated form political debate is stylised combat, with
the process and the participants no more real to us than
the Worid Wrestling Federation 'superstars'. Is it any
wonder then, that disenchantment with politics and
politicians is rife? It is not just disgruntled One Nation
supporters who criticise our political process. A sense of
distrust and disempowerment comes from all over the
political, social and cultural spectrum.
This distrust and disempowerment expresses itself, I
believe, in an Increased individualism and political apathy
which extends to all spheres of life. When we feel
powerless we are less likely to become involved in
activities which seek to create change. Rather, we
establish boundaries for ourselves, within which we feel
we can have control. We become increasingly concerned
with our immediate activities, and isolate ourselves from
the extended social ties of the broader community. This
isolation occurs not just within the international and
environmental communities, but within the Monash
community as well. In order to address it, we must seek
greater empowerment, greater involvement in the
processes which shape the communities. One way that
we can do this is by encouraging participatory democracy.
The Monash community, and the MSA's political
processes, are often no more participatory than those at
a national level. We vote for representatives once a year,
and then often forget about our student association until
the next election time. At Monash, it shouldn't, and doesn't
have to be this way. There are many ways in which you
can become involved in the decision-making processes
and activities of the MSA. Student General Meetings
(SGMs) are one example of participatory democracy in
action. SGMs are open for all students to raise issues,
move motions, take part in debate, and vote. They are
held every few weeks during semester, and items for the
agenda can be submitted at any time to the General
Secretary. Furthermore, this semester will see the
establishment of the Student Delegate Network (SDN),
which is another key in making the MSA's democratic
process more open and participatory. All students are
welcome to nominate to become delegates for their
lecture or tutorial group. Delegates will act as a liaison
between the MSA and the student body, passing on vital
information and, most importantly, getting feedback from
their classmates about the MSA's activities. They will
receive full training, both in public speaking and in the
operation of the MSA, and there will be regular delegates'
meetings in which information will be given and feedback
received and discussed. The SDN is one way in which
we can help to make the MSA more participatory, and to
redress some of the sense of disempowemient which
we all experience at some time. If you would like to be
involved in the SDN, please fill out the form on this page,
and return it to the box at MSA reception. If you have any
questions, please don't hesitate to visit the MSA, call me
(Ciar Foster, Co-Publicity Officer) on ext. 53140 (add 990
if
phoning
from
off
campus)
or
email
[email protected].
Ciar Foster
•T
YES, I want to be a part of the Student Delegate Network!
Name:
. Phone No:.
Address:.
Email:
Which class do you want to be a delegate for?
Faculty:
Subject Code:
Class Time & Place:.
Teaching Staff:
Please return this fonn to the box in MSA Reception, preferably by Week 3 (although it's never too late!)
Thanks! We'll be in touch soon!
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Club Week is a great opportunity for you to check out
what"s going on in the thriving and happening club scene
at Monash. There are around 100 clubs here at Clayton,
covering many aspects of the musical, cultural, political,
religious, academic, performance and general interest
spectrums. Chances are you didn't get an opportunity to
see all of them during 0-Week, or perhaps you were
lulled into thinking that Uni was only about study - come
along to Club Week and let us show you otherwise.
What Is Happeahf?
On the Tuesday and Wednesday (10*'-11'' August), a
number of clubs will have display tables and exhibitions
set up In the main upstairs foyer of the Union Building.
This will be taking place between 12pm-2pm. The Club
Week stage will be operating on the Wednesday, with a
variety of performances and displays from various clubs.
In addition to this, several clubs have planned special
Club Week activities throughout the week. You will have
the chance to chat to club members, see what different
c!ut)s are all about, and if you like what you see, you can
sign up and become a club member yourself.
On Thursday 12"' August, between 12pm-2pm, there will
be a Food and Wine Fair in the Fomm area, between
the Union and Menzies buildings. A number of clubs will
have stalls set up, and will be selling foods from all over
the world. A wine tasting will also be taking place for
those of you wanting to sample some great quatfers.
If you don't come across a club that relates to your
particular interest, and you'd like to start one up, pop
into the Clubs and Societies office, ask for Brian and
we'll see what we can dolll
Club Week programmes will be available from the Clubs
& Societies office on Monday 9 " August, and will be
available throughout the Union Building as the week
progresses. If you're interested in being part of Club
Week, or you have any general queries, contact Brian at
the Clubs & Societies office on 9905 4160.
Brian Poll!
Club Development Officer
Are just outcomes obtainable
t
by all?
Access to the legal justice system and the repercussions of restructuring
community legal centres: are just outcomes obtainable by all?
Accessing professional legal advice can often be
has improved access for people who would otherwise be
strenuous and costly. As a result, these difficulties create
unreachable and unable to achieve justice at all.
barriers in obtaining simple legal advice, which often
Mainstream sources of legal advice and representation
results in injustice and unfair verdicts within our adversary
in the private legal profession or Statutory legal aid
system.
schemes can often be expensive or unwilling to take on
We should all be equal In the eyes of the law; whether
small clients. Therefore, upon ascertaining the spread of
we are rich or poor, black or white, regardless of what
unmet legal needs the question as to how best to service
background we come from or whether we are educated
all Victorians must be answered with care.
or not.
Often however, this is not the case as many innocent
Presently, the low cost operation of CLCs is possible via
people receive harsh sentences or unfair judgements
significant voluntary contribution and goodwill. At a n " . .
in other catchment areas this would not be the case. Also
simply because they are underprivileged or have not had
. estimated $690, 274.41 worth of volunteer work
logistical factors Involving communication and the size of
access to a fair and unbiased hearing. A fair and equal
annually*...", legal and non-legal volunteers help provide
the regions would affect client access creating dilemmas
legal system is vital In the attainment of justice and the
services beyond any possible funding that can be
with public transport and telephone access. The need for
conventional functioning of our democratic society.
provided. However, volunteers are not a commodity and
additional human and financial resources required to
Without it, justice would be impossible and the result of
as such, volunteers and the centres that they volunteer
provide any degree of a quality service spread over
individuals taking the law into their own hands would be
for, provide
potentially huge regions and the repercussions of staff
inevitable. However, for the current legal system to
a valuable link with intimate local knowledge and
and volunteer recruitment, retention and the lack of
maintain its credibility to attain justice, it must be sure to
community resources that will be lost if CLCs are
transferability become problems. Existing social problems,
Vietnamese interpreters is high at the FLS, while for CLSs
enforce the principles allowing for just outcomes to occur.
amalgamated. To attempt to provide state-wide coverage
together with legal and economic need in communities
This means legally educating members of the public and
with existing funding would result in significant loss of
where CLSs are presently located stipulates the obvious;
allowing access to free legal advice when necessary. The
unfunded social capital exemplifying that "...to provide
that enlarging regional boundaries or amalgamating
proposed restructuring, amalgamation and redistribution
state-wide coverage with existing financial services Is akin
services does not address the fundamental issue - that
of Community
Legal Centre resources by the
to spreading the vegemite too thin that it can't be
there will still remain a critical shortage of resources to
Implementation Advisory Group, Is certainly not the
tasted^..." as the analogy in the submission by the FLS
the legal needs of economically and structurally
answer. If anything this will marginalise just outcomes to
to the Implementation Advisory Group explains.
disadvantaged people in these communities.
The possibility of proposed changes such as defunding
Tinkering around the edge by enlarging regional
those that have access and can afford It.
Community Legal Centres (CLC) located around the state
existing centres or amalgamation, while the aim may be
boundaries or amalgamating services does not address
of Victoria, counsel and advise many Victorians from
to gain efficiency, it will result in the loss of social capital
the fundamental issue of the critical shortage of resources
different cultural, social and economic backgrounds every
and intellectual property as well as Incosted resources.
to meet underprivileged peoples need of obtaining equal
day which has " . . . increased by 9.4% in the past twelve
One would think the answer is simply retaining existing
justice. What is needed In this grossly under resourced
months' . . . " exemplifying the need for local Individuals
services and strengthening this foundation by
sector of our community is additional resources in a
to have access to CLCs. The Fitzroy Legal Service (FLS)
supplementing funding in order to create new services
coherent social policy framework, not a redistribution of
established in " . . . December 1972^...", is just one of
as the FLS presently has strong relationships with many
already inadequate funds. Perhaps then just outcomes
the various efficient and successful CLCs, that stands
agencies which deliver direct client service and strategic
may be obtainable by all.
today as a valuable community resource for victims of
alliance extending to every level of the legal profession.
Injustice In legal trouble allowing individuals to receive
Fitzroy continues to house a number of key community
the appropriate legal advice in order to achieve the
health and welfare organisations which support the
outcome they desire. Today, even though most CLCs are
diverse needs and concerns of a significant number of
under funded with only: " . . . 42% of overall expenditure
disadvantaged local residents. The upgrade of already
Gregoria Todargo
provided by the government CLC funding program^...",
existing services, together with the culture of voluntarism
they always provide more than their worth and thus, are
which has been firmly embedded in CLCs both within the
' Source N IS Report for activities up to 1 /05/97 compared
valuable outlets to the communities they advise, allowing
community and affiliated agencies would not only allow
with activities between 1/05/98 and 30/04/99. p.7
^ ^
CLCs like the FLS to be efficient, flexible, responsive and
access to legal advice but further allow for just outcomes
^ Spreading the Vegemite too thin - Submission to the
^ 9
innovative to their clients needs so that just legal outcomes
to take place.
can be obtained.
With an integrated approach including casework, law
reform oolicv and communitv leaal education, the FLS
Implementation Advisory Group of the Review
o^^J
Community Legal Centres in Victoria. Fitzroy Legal
« ^
Homogenisatlon also denies acknowledgment that the
Sen/ice. May 1999.p.6.
^S
legal needs of one community often differ significantly
^Id.
* Ibid. p.3a
from another. For example the need and demand for
NON CAF
[13]
("••^
— - —
I I .
O u t w o r k e r s - Exploited
Workers
While so-called 'post-feminists' disciain further need for feminist activism on the
basis that we're all equal now: women continue to be paid, on average,
somewhere between 50% and 75% of men's salaries.
This Is for a range of reasons, including that women still
haven't broken through the glass ceilings, and are yet to
be sufficiently represented in senior, high-paying
positions. Often, this is specifically because they are
mothers, but also because they still don't have equitable
access to higher education. Women are also extremely
over-represented in casual and part-time work, and they
form the bulk of workers in the clothing industry, where
they are generally outworkers, labouring under incredibly
oppressive conditions.
peculiarity of labour law is that the very factors which children also work to keep the family, especially if
render outworkers most vulnerable also reinforce their outwori<ers develop RSI, or severe eye strain, or suffer a
vulnerability, by classifying them as contractors, as distinct hand injury, only then to find that they are not entitled to
from employees, and therefore ineligible for much WorkCover, or other compensation. Such injuries are
legislative protection at all. An outworker who owns her common with oufworicers often worfgng in oppressive heat
own equipment, is paid by the pieces she produces and or cold, with extremely loud, vibrating machines, for very
not hourly rates, works for several different businesses long periods of time without breaks.
according to who has work at different times, is entitled
to no sick leave, super-annuation, annual leave, long If Australia is now a country of equal opportunity, why Is it
service leave, or WorkCover insurance, who works from that so many women are forced to work in such pitiable
her own home, is likely to be classified as a contractor, conditions? Why is It that successive state and federal
The Australian clothing Industry is one of the most well- and therefore making a generally financial, business governments have failed to legislate to make outworkers
protected of our industries and yet, has one of the shadiest transaction. In contrast, an employee working In a factory employees, and entitled to protection? Why is it that they
foundations. Best guestlmates indicate that there are up which must conform with Occupational Health & Safety provide disgracefully inadequate resources for inspection
to 200,000 outworkers in Australia today, very few of them standards, who is entitled to leave and super-annuation and enforcement of awards to protect those who are
registered, and far too many being paid under-award benefits, is also entitled to extra legal privileges because legally entitled to award rates? Could It be that the clothing
rates. The problems are many The average outworker is her relationship is that of employment, and therefore industry is a more powerful lobby group than women in
likely to be either unskilled, from a non-English speaking subject to special legal protection.
garages who don't speak English?
background, a recent migrant or from a t " ' generation
migrant family, a woman, a mother, poor, desperate, or It matters not that the outworker may only be able to It seems then, an insupportable argument which says
a combination of these. She is unlikely to believe that contract for $3.00 per piece she sews, which takes her that Australia is an equal opportunity nation, and woman
she has any other viable employment opportunities, (she forty-five minutes, and will later retail with a label attached can be anything they want. It is aridiculousargument
may have been told this by her employer), and she for $179 in a major department store. It makes no indeed which claims that there's no longer such a thing
probably believes that if she complains about her pay or difference under the Workplace Relations Act that her as women's systematic and legal oppression, and that
conditions there are dozens who'd like to take her place. ability to enter prudent and profitable business deals Is the days of activist feminists are gone.
She is almost certainly not a union-member, and if she is somewhat hampered by her family's reliance on the
covered by an award, she may not know it.
income she is able to generate working 70 hours per If you'd like more information on Women and Work, and
week.
For outworkers who are covered by an award, they may
still be grossly underpaid, and work for as little as $1.50
per hour. Clothing manufacturers are able to do this
because unions have no way of contacting and protecting
vorkers who are unregistered, and the government is
1 (or unwilling) to track them down. Unfortunately,
\he bigger problem of Australian labour law is that many
^ggji^utworkers are not covered by awards, because they are
private contractors,' according to legal definitions. A
[14]
NONCAF
outworkers particularly, look out for the campaign by the
Women's Affairs Collective, in the next week or so. There'll
Australian labour law is In a disgraceful state indeed. We be pamphlets, posters, and probably a couple of
live in a country which generally celebrates Labour Day speakers. Also, available from MSA is a list of clothing
with a public holiday and rejoices over the triumph of the companies which have signed an agreement with the
eight-hour day, while 6 year old children are kept home CFfi/IU that guarantees their products are not made by
from school to care for baby brothers and sisters as their exploited labour.
parents work in the garage. Are these children's absences
Carolyn Snell
from school condemning them to the same career
prospects? Unfortunately, it Is sometimes the case that
Co-operation,
•»MMiM»not corporation
" ^
Part 2 continuM In the next issue of Lot's Wife.
By 1976 the demand for a Co-op Bookshop, and for other
co-operative shops had reached fever pitch. Letters in
Lof's Wife detailed, discussed and debated the issue,
and direct pressure was applied to the Union Board
Committee. The defence of monopoly practices
Btive Saokshop is currently
~ facing a cnppting rent increase, which will seriously
threaten its long-term viability.
eventually gave in under increasing student pressure and
The Co-op is obliged to inform its members of this
Warden Graham Sweeney allocated space for the
threat,
establishment of a Co-op Bookshop. This decision was
immediately overturned by the University Council.
The Co-op is one of the largest voluntary student,
iuden^H
Part 1 of The Inspiring Epic Saga of a Cooperative's Wiii to Be, and to Be Good at It.
run organisations on campus with over 10,000
0.000^
The Co-op's instigators and supporters tried every official
memtjers. It is a not for profit service which exists
means to respond. A petition of 2,000 students and staff
Surveying the Airport Lounge, li^onash Union building,
was not accepted; a referendum of 5,820 students that
one could be forgiven for glancing twice at the MSA Co-
voted 82.57% for the removal of the policy of monopoly
operative Bool<shop: it doesn't quite fit in. Despite the
in the Union, and 83.12% in favour of a Co-op Bookshop,
numerous refurbishments of the Union, each more sterile
was ignored. On the 16th of September a SGM of 1,700
than the last, a pocltet of the past has remained at the
students unanimously censured University Council,
end of the main corridor. For over twenty years the MSA
demanded an end to rip-off book selling, and voted for
Co-operative Bool(shop has defied obstacle, opposition
direct action.
solely to provide an outlet for the sate and purchase
of second-hand books and for the sale of stationery
at the cheapest prices.
The MSA Co-op Bookshop caters dirsctly to the
needs of Clayton students in a way that a corporate
Victor could never do.
and great change, at Monash and in the education system
generally, to maintain a serious commitment to non-profit,
tlon to Rs main objective of keeping prices
With the political and economic support of MAS (now
student-run, student services. The MSA Co-operative
MSA), a plan had been prepared to facilitate direct action.
Bookshop offers a link to the past and together with
The University Bookshop was occupied as a diversion.
Wholefoods continues to provide a successful alternative
Meanwhile a caravan of cars waited loaded with books
model for student organisation and activity. A model
and stationery. Shelves and equipment were hidden in
designed by students for students.
the tunnels under the Union. The plan was to establish a
as tow as possible for cash-strapped students H
makes rontnbutions to the campus community
through sponsorship of student organisations such
as Student Theatre, 3MU and the Short Courses
Centre.
bookshop under the auspices of MAS in defiance of
Origins: The Fight To Co-operate.
UniversityCouncil until a Co-op Bookshop was accepted.
The idea of a Co-operative Bookshop was first proposed
It was a time of some paranoia, and the plan was
by students and staff in 1965, but to deaf ears. University
appropriately secretive, elaborate and structured. Scouts
Council established a commercial bookshop instead. The
with walkie-talkies posing as hitchhikers watched to
proposal was repeated to the Council in 1970 and was
ensure that at no stage the plan was threatened. The
rejected, for fear of the threat it would pose to the
final go ahead was given at the SGM; "We're going to
University Bookshop's financial viability.
the pub this afternoon." And the response, "You can't,
It also supports NGOs in the wider community.
i
For example we recently conducted a drive to
gather legal texts to help Eritrea establish a legal
system, and donated unsold books to The
University of East Timor and Mackay Integrated,.
fvlental Health Sen/ices.
you've got to deliver the books!"
must not let the ideals of the 70'8 be
As the eariy 1970s (a period of student confidence and
activity) raged on the demand for a Co-operative
The University Bookshop was secured in response to the
Bookshop was raised ever stronger. Students faced highly
occupation. The convoy passed security at the main
inflated prices, long delays and understocking at the
entrance and many hands made light work of transporting
University Bookshop, a result of monopoly and profit
and organising the shelves and equipment, books and
maximising. (This is not a comment on the current
stock. The Co-op's fight to exist was tiegun in eamest.
University Bookshop).
The ball was now In University Council's court.
llowed by 90's style economic rationalism,
The MSA Co-op Bookshop, your student
not-for-profit bookshop, Is under th.'eat,
Come In to the bookshop this week and show
your support.
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1362 Centre Rd, Clayton. 3168
o
Fifty years of the Geneva
Are the victims of war being protected?
Many people think It Is Impossible to control the seemingly
the part of its combatants, but its consequences for the
Like any law, the Geneva Conventions will be broken with
irrational acts of war. Reports of civilian deaths in recent
civilian population are also greater.
impunity unless adequate enforcement mechanisms
Since 1945 civilians have made up 90 per cent of the
the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda, established by the
The Geneva Conventions go some way to contradicting
casualties of war. This can be contrasted to the First World
Security Council of the United Nations, have been trying
this perception.
War where the casualty rate was the complete reverse.
and convicting the criminals.
exist. In the 1990s the International Criminal Tribunals of
conflicts such as Kosovo suggest that wars are lawless.
On the 12th August this year, the
international community will commemorate 50 years of
the Geneva Conventions, which were elaborated
The Geneva Conventions have often been applied in
In 1998, in Rome, delegates from around the world signed
significantly on that date in 1949. These Conventions,
internal or 'civil' conflicts in recent years and attempts have
the Statute to create a permanent International Criminal
their Additional Protocols and customary law (ie. practice
been made to adapt them to the new circumstances.
Court. To date, the Treaty has received over seventy-three
of states) form 'International Humanitarian Law.' These
signatures but only three ratifications. It requires sixty
laws limit military operations according to principles of
The First and Second Geneva Conventions: Protecting
humanity, proportionality and prevention of unnecessary
the Red Cross
suffering. They have been significant in the conduct and
ratifications to enter into force.
Dissemination
use of weaponry in recent conflicts and in establishing
The First and Second Conventions focussed their attention
the International Committee of the Red Cross.
on protecting the basic human rights and combatants on
The laws set down In the Geneva Conventions can work,
the field and at sea. They also established the basic
but combatants need to know them first. Often it falls to
f ramewori< for the protection of the Red Cross symbol and
the ICRC to attempt to disseminate and teach combatants
such as Somalia, Iraq and Kosovo without an
personnel. These basic principles have now become
the laws of armed conflict and the role of the ICRC.
understanding of the Geneva Conventions. This
virtually fundamental in internal or external conflicts.
It is impossible to obtain an understanding of conflicts
Conclusion - more work to be done.
semester, an International Humanitarian Law group will
be established at IVlonash which will liaise with the Red
The Third Geneva Convention: Prisoners of War rights
Cross Victoria Division to discuss and find out more about
respected
The next fifty years will continue to test the relevance
The Second Worid War showed mixed results in the
conflicts' which will continue for the foreseeable future.
and effectiveness of the Conventions in light of the 'new
these important Conventions. It will also commemorate
the 50" Anniversary on 12" August.
success of the Third Convention which was first signed in
However, ultimately, the group will consider the
1929.
Monash students can and should take an active role in
The subsequent fifty years have also had successes and
They should become involved on the 12* of August. As
failures. While the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi POWs
long as armed conflict exists, the rights of the victims will
discussing the Conventions and in suggesting change,
fundamental question: Do these laws actually protect the
victims of war?
The Geneva Conventions - Universal Acceptance
The Four Conventions have been signed by 188 of the
in the Gulf War were properiy treated, hundreds of
need protection and the Geneva Conventions must be
thousands of detainees in Rwanda suffered terrible
continually reconsidered to remain the best statement of
deprivations.
these rights.
191 countries in the world. This statistic makes the
Penny Martin and
Conventions one of the most universally accepted bodies
The Fourth Geneva Convention: Under the Greatest
Chester Cunningham
of international law.
Strain
In conjunction with
Victoria Division of Australia Red Cross
Adherence to the Geneva Conventions
As previously noted, the vast number of civilians being
'.tfffrt.
killed points to the continuing abuses of the Fourth
While the Conventions may claim universal acceptance,
Convention. The 'group identit/ conflicts are often in direct
unfortunately there can be no claim of universal
defiance of the Convention. From 'ethnic cleansing' to
adherence. However, it would not be unreasonable to
genocide, the requirements to protect civilians from harm
conclude that in fifty years of the Geneva Conventions,
and not to make them objects of attack are being abused.
^ . W ^ | M B H » ^
t
millions of lives have been saved.
Are the Conventions Adequate?
l^k
*
-"^^.tJ^
The Changing Face of War
Recently great advances have t)een made in International
Today's conflicts are not so much about territory or
Humanitarian Law. In 1997, blinding laser weapons were
resources, but terror and population control. IVIany of
banned. Also in 1997, the International Community took
these conflicts can be categorised into two broad camps:
the unprecedented step of attempting to ban a weapon in
widespread use - landmines.
'Anarchic conflicts': Anarchic conflicts are characterised
by the weakening or even total collapse of state
The current laws may be adequate - it is the adherence
Structures. With a plethora of amis within the area, groups
to them that is not.
seek to take control or exert influence in a 'neo tribalist'
Enforcement
Qi^iBinianner.
['Conflicts aimed to assert group identity': This style of
The most problematic aspect of International Humanitarian
lonflict may involve greater structure and discipline on
Law and the Geneva Conventions is that of enforcement.
[16]
NON CAF
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1
Womyn?
I am a woman. I am one part of the half of the species that are known collectively as
women. I need no quirky spellings. I feel no need to remove the 'man' from who I am,
and become wimmin or womyn in order to feel more comfortable with myself. I can, to
some extent, understand the desire to remove 'man' references, but I don't like it. In
fact, I really hate it.
I dislike womyn on an aesthetic level. I hate the way
it looks. I hate the way it sounds. Say it, out loud wimmin, womyn, it sounds like a whiny uneducated
voice. It brings to my mind the image of a housewife,
not that of a strong, independent woman.
feel no need to remove the 'man
from who I am, and become
womyn, in order to feel more
comfortable with myself.'
Secondly, I hate It for linguistic reasons. The letter
y would more correctly represent the 'o' sound in
the word women. Then - what is the singular of
^'
womynl We talk about one woman, two women,
now is it two womyn, one... what? Woman is one of a few words that English has
retained for a very long time. It derives from the Old English wifmann, a compound
word consisting of the elements "wif (woman/wife) and 'mann', with the intended meaning
of female person'. The word man itself is thought by some linguists to be historically
related to the word mind, thereby making it possible that the original sense of the word
was not 'human with an XY chromosome combination', but instead meaning the thinker',
referring to Homo Sapiens in general. I see nothing wrong or inherently derogative
about a designation of lemale thinker'. And to the prescriptive linguist in me, changing
it to womyn is as culturally insulting as covering Uichaelangelo's 'David' with a figleaf.
Then, the third problem I have with womyn. It's totally illogical. It the aim is to empower
oneself, and remove any male-orientated sense, why isn't it followed through? Why
don't women 'mynstruate' every 28 days? Why don't we have 'hymyns'? Not only is it
illogical, it is also totally irrelevant to issues that affect women today. Whilst we have
feminists of varying degrees advocating the use of terms such asfterstoryandwomyn,
and suggesting that this is a way in which to empower ourselves, other women have far
more pressing problems. Violent spouses, genital mutilation, lack of choice over
abortions... The last thing on their minds is the minor concern of the word 'man' appearing
in the term woman. Also remember, that this is something that only seems to affect
English speakers - I've yet to hear of complaints from Japanese feminists about being
called anna no hito, or of French speakers taking a violent dislike to the word femme.
Finally, I take the temn womyn as a personal affront to myself, to what we as women
have achieved in the worid, and also as an insult towards the male half of the population.
I am interested In women's affairs, but the pedanticism and the fanaticism which reduces
women to womyn leaves me cold. I consider it to be an 'exclusive' term. Under the
label of woman we have achieved an awful lot. The use of woman in such set phrases
and terms as are used in English, serve only as a reminder to myself of just how far the
notion of being a woman has come. The exclusion of 'men' and 'man' from words, also
seems to serve as a denial of half the human population. Man, Woman, we are here
together - as Humans. I have no problems with woman, the 'man' in it simply reminds
me of the fact, that basically he and I are not that different.
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The recent publication of article and letters in Lot's Wife
concerning the topics of Feminism and women's issues
clearly indicate that feminism as a discourse is still very
relevant and necessary, not only to address people's anger,
but also to dispel the many myths and distortions of women's
language which people have used in addressing this heated
political issue.
This article attempts to address some of the concerns
raised as well as to provide political arguments against
ideas and concepts of "equality feminism". Wfhile not
everyone will agree with my comments, I hope that people
will gain some understanding of what some feminists see
as inappropriate and/or offensive media and material.
1. Statements about "equality feminism"
Examples include: "Yes, women still are paid less than
men on average, and yes inequalities still do exist in many
facets of today's world. But only a fool would argue that
these wrongs are not slowly being righted." Another
example is "Acting as though everyone is against us just
undermines us and keeps us further away from gaining
equality with men."
objectives and a wide spectrum of women. It is diverse,
dynamic, complicated, and has no central organisation,
leader or manifesto. No woman who describes herself
as a feminist should be belittled and labelled as
'unfeminist' or 'so called feminist'. There is no "true" form
of feminism and there are not true" feminists. Instead,
you will probably find that many women will usually identify
themselves within a more complex fonm of feminism which
embraces different aspects of feminist labels while still
respecting the right of other women to identify with other
types of feminism. So while I may politically disagree with
'equality feminism" I still respect women's rights to identify
as "equality feminists" and therefore to call themselves
feminist.
3.
These
comments
indicate
a
fundamental
misunderstanding, on the part of some feminists, that all
women are equal. Many women from different
backgrounds and nationalities who study at f^onash are
often disadvantaged. For example, during the 1998
student elections I spoke to two international students
whose lecturer had ignored their problem with English
and refused to give them information necessary for them
to do their assignments. He also made racial taunts and
threatened them with expulsion if they made any
complaints. Given that they were paying $50,000 for the
'privilege' of an education they were scared and very
reluctant to make a complaint.
Can you say that these women have the same experience
and opportunities therefore 'strength' to fight back as other
women? Before women can stand united with 'strength',
they must first learn to recognise that different women
experience sexism and racism differently and that access
to opportunities to fight back is often limited.
The notion that women should work towards gaining
"equality with men" is not one many other feminists or I
chose to believe in. tVlany feminists do not seek to be
equal with men because to be equal to the dominant
'white-male power' within the current structures of our
education system and workplaces is to work 80 hour
weeks in corporate companies which exploit lower-skilled
workers, women's bodies and the environment. They also
fail to recognise and support the responsibility, time and
access to childcare needed to raise children.
Equality is not about becoming 'equal with men' but is
about equality of opportunities within a society which
doesn't discriminate against different groups of women
and which doesn't devalue and dismiss the experiences,
(.language and culture of all women.
Feminism
and Student l\/ledia
Statements that feminists are men bashers and see
men as the enemy such as; "I'm sick of hearing men
are the enemy that women should shun the male
population and in their independence, achieve
freedom"
Firstly, if a woman or a number of women choose to shun
male population and seek to achieve freedom
independently of men then that is their right. I don't agree
with political separatism. I don't believe I can radically
change society and structures within society without
sometimes working together with men. However, many
political separatists are not interested in living within maledominated structures. That they may reject men
altogether is their political choice and their political right.
Secondly, the feminism that has been presented within
this article can hardly be labelled 'male-bashing'. Rather
it has sought to critique the structures of our society, which
while dominated by white middle-class men often devalue
and discriminate against different women because of their
gender, class, race and sexuality. Not all men can be
called inherently sexist or racist. However, men who
accept and refuse actively criticise the dominant, negative
and sexist images of women in the media, who wear
clothes made by slave labour and female outworkers,
who remain silent or laugh when women are put down in
class, who make offensive jokes about different
sexualities, are being sexist, racist or homophobic.
Because, they are condoning and upholding the current
structures and belief systems which discriminate against
women. A feminist critique of our system of largely male
power does not exclude input from men. However, first
all men should analyse how their behaviour and actions
can be seen as racist, sexist or homophobic and then
how they can actively challenge and change the privileges
that discriminate against other people. This is something
all women should also do.
B
I2.
Statements which define feminism as a homogenous
thing such as "Many of today's so called feminists..."
eminism is a social movement, political movement and
iberation movement. It represents a diverse range of
[18]
NON CAF
4.
Personal rather than political attacks such as - "This
waste of ink just reaffirms the sexual insecurities,
which so many people thought your feeble existence
hartioured."
This is a perfect example of someone that should be a
politician. You know the ones 1 mean, that sit in pariiament
and refuse to debate about different political perspectives.
Instead, they stoop to the common denominator or to
paraphrase a recent Lot's article "From the bottom of the
article" and attack someone personally rather than their
political views. This is no way to win a political argument
it makes you look like an idiot. A good writer who
disagrees with radical feminist politics would provide a
critique that represents other feminist views on different
issues such as pornography, women's culture in course
curricula, or men's involvement in feminist movement.
They would not write or print something that blatantly
attacks a person's sexuality and right to exist in whatever
way they chose to either socially or politically.
5.
Parodies of violence against women - fvlaterial that
is offensive and/or inappropriate and should therefore
be considered very carefully before it is published.
Articles that make parody and/or make light of violence
and intimidation of women including reducing it to a
problem which will be fixed by drowning your sorrows at
the pub and making fun of very traumatic warning signs
and experiences are offensive and inappropriate. Last
year as MSA Women's Officer I often had to counsel and
offer advice to women who were being stalked and/or
abused by their boyfriends, friends, housemates and
teachers. Anyone, who has experienced violence first or
second-hand would not consider it to be a laughing matter.
It is an issue that deserves publicity in student
newspapers but as serious articles not as a parody,
regardless of the good intentions of the author.
Not everyone who reads this article will agree with my
analysis of the arguments and information presented in
Lot's Wife. I don't expect that men or women will hold the
same feminist views as myself.
My intention has not been to present a "true feminist"
viewpoint, Rather, I hope that everyone will consider my
arguments and the effect of publishing material, which
may be offensive to other groups of people, because it is
racist, sexist or homophobic. Our society in many has
changed to allow for greater media representation of their
social perspectives. Student media which regularly
publishes "narrow" majority perspectives of gender,
racism and sexuality Is no better than the "mainstream"
media because, it fails to adequately address and present
the breadth and diversity of political opinions, images,
cultures and l a n g u ^ e of the ditlerent groups of people
in our university environment.
Sandra Roennfeldt
Women's Officer
tiational Union of Students Victoria.
NUS
• from factionalism to student power.
As students we are all automatically a member of our
Where to from here?
Student Union (MSA) and reap the benefits according to
our interests and needs (whether these be representation,
Whilst the National Union of Students has not in my mind
services, activities, or welfare).
fulfilled its potential in representing students and being
MSA is affiliated to the National Union of Students (NUS)
democratic potential and is present upon many
an activist body at change, it is a structure which has
and so you are also a member of the National Union of
campuses. It is therefore a body worth building and
Students. Individual Student Unions affiliate through either
working towards the greater success of.
referendum or decision of a Student General Meeting
and disaffiliate accordingly. This is to guarantee an actual
The Monash Student Board on Friday the 7* of May,
link between the campus and NUS.
passed several motions in an attempt to provide
accountability of elected NUS delegates and to provide
A National Union through which we as students can co-
a greater link between those from Monash elected to NUS
ordinate knowledge, campaigns and mobilise students
and the MSA.
is without doubt an essential component of an active
student movement. Ideally, this body would be highly
representative and democratic due to the election of
delegates from every campus who then vote to determine
the policy and campaigns of the Union.
This reads:
Liberals: Considering the record of the Liberals in
"MSB directs and invites the Monash Clayton NUS
decimating public utilities and attacking workers and
delegates to regularly attend MSB, EAC, Welfare
Committees and the Womyn's Affairs Collective (if they
students, hopefully no more needs to be said.
are womyn) and to participate in both State and National
Unfortunately, our current National Union of Students
does not entirely live up to this description. It is at present
a highly factlonalised body at which almost all Office
Bearers and policy decisions are detenmined by numbers,
that Is the priorities of factions and the amount of
delegates each faction has from different campuses and
how they can deal with other factions to obtain their
desired results. The reasons for this are twofold.
Factionalism is the first reason. There is nothing inherently
While not disagreeing to the existence of these factions,
NUS executives and committees. Further ,that the
unfortunately many of the above run in campus elections
Monash Clayton students who are elected to NUS State
without students upon the campus that elects them being
and National Committee are requested to attend the
aware of the faction and/or political ideology which they
relevant MSA committee meetings. Further, that they
are supporting. Even more unfortunately, students on
submit a bi-semesterly report to MSB."
campuses are encouraged to run without any knowledge
of the nature of NUS and then due to the complex nature
Unfortunately, this will not be enough to create an activist,
of the Union are encouraged by factions to proxy their
participatory union. The answer to that is one of an
votes with little political knowledge about what they will
increased student movement both on and off campus
actually mean.
and greater participation within NUS. The Left must stop
The solution to this can only be that of greater knowledge
avoid the issues of a NUS in which they (partly through
about the functions of NUS for both students on campus
choice, I believe) have no voice. The Right on the other
and those running in elections. The implementation of
hand must work towards an allowance of greater
wrong with factions. In fact, I would argue that it is quite
strategic and natural to organise with those that have
similar politics to yourself. The only problem is when
factionalism prevents the participation of all students or
the functioning of the Union.
quasi elitist participation around NUS and an attempt to
forums and policy discussion on campus could help
participation from students within the NUS. In general,
greater awareness of the nature and running of NUS.
we must all work towards greater accountability to create
The major factions present within the Union are:
clear processes whereby all may participate without the
The other problem within the National Union of Students
Independents: these people claim to have no ideology
and to just be a broad caucus, this does not prevent them
generally voting together but does mean that they can
swing abstractly between left and right.
Non Aligned Left: Similar to Independents, except that
these people pride themselves upon their apparent
environmental politics.
demoralisation of "number-crunching".
at present is its unattached nature from campuses and
activism. Whilst we have all (hopefully) seen the posters
Regardless of its faults, it is our Union and therefore our
and campaigns put out by NUS, very few activists are
voice. Let's be heard, fight VSU and work towards an
involved within the campaign formulation process.
active progressive National Union.
Lynette McBrlde
Similarly, very few students on campus have an
awareness of their membership to the National Union of
Students.
Unity: Labour right, in fact the same section of the ALP
as Paul Keating, John Brumby and others within the ALP
which have been remarkably regressive on issues such
as the invasion of East Timor by the Indonesians in 1975.
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Considering themselves 'socialist" without any
understanding of the inherent contradiction between real
social change and the ALP.
National Organisation of Labour Students (NOLS Inc):
Slightly less active and more regressive than NOLS Left
generally disliked since their split from NOLS Left for
betraying their own caucus.
Left Alliance: a broadly "socialisr faction which relies upon
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Intervention into the Union rather than participation.
mM
Queering the media.
Does the media and all its mediums - newspaper,
television and radio etc. provide a true representation
of queers?
and government forces. Since gay men were
marginalised during this time, and still are today, they
became the likely and easy candidates for the blame. As
a result the media would publish articles and screen
stories on cases of gay men spreading the disease
knowingly through unsafe sex practices. From such
reporting, queers were, and still are, typified as being
gay men who practice anal sex. Consequently, society
blamed gay men if they contracted HIV even to the point
where they desen/ed the disease for participating in such
practices. However, we don't see such treatment towards
people who have cancer resulting from cigarette smoking.
Does the media, and all its mediums - newspaper,
television and radio etc. provide a true representation of
queers? I would have to say. No. The media attempts to
represent all facets of society, yet fails miserably.
Instead, a simplistic and stereotypical perspective is the
result, especially towards womyn and queers.
Consequently, society is left with negative images, as is
the case with queers, leading to prejudicial and
discriminatory actions acted out towards queers.
The majority of queer images portrayed by the media
highlights society's ignorant and prejudiced views.
Queers still remain portrayed negatively within the media,
thus continuing the victimisation and discrimination which
exists towards us. Because the media refuses to depict
queers as being 'ordinary' people and not 'glamour
queens' and 'bull dykes', I can't say that there is any true
or real perspective of queers within the media. Instead,
the media has people like Sam Newman portraying gay
men as 'camp queens'; lesbians as 'truck drivers'; and
neglects bisexuality.
Queers are only portrayed
as drag queens or or men
with bronzed, muscular
bodies.
Queers are seen as primarily men, being either drag
queens or with bronzed muscular bodies - which is
evidenced by photographs of IVIardi Gras and Pride
March, and disregards any depiction of queers as
'ordinary' people. You only have to look at Lofs Wife
edtion 3 to see such portrayal of queers. The Editors
placed such pictures alongside queer articles and NQS
Office Bearer's report. Their decision may have been
with good intentions, however, once again the media this time a student newspaper - has resorted to
stereotypical images in portraying queers for the sole
cause of 'grabbing readers' attention'.
When the media picked up on the HIV/AIDS disease, gay
men were blamed for it. This was fuelled by the medical/ Why can't queers be seen for who and what they are.
scientific community who were forced to find someone or Mmmm... I'd like to see that!
something to blame because of the push from political
Nathan Boyle
Car parking- Whaf an outrage
Recently, a friend of mine received a $60 partying fine
for an "illegal park" in the university car park. Entering
the gravel area from Wellington Road and unable to find
a park, he instead parked on a stretch of grass next to
the wire fence on the right, perpendicular to a row of
cars facing the fence. Returning to his car later, he found
he had been issued with the fine for parking in a No
Standing zone.
Womyn tend not to be depicted within the media. This is
because womyns' sexuality is rarely acknowledged,
especially anything which goes against mainstream
society, namely womyn defining themselves as lesbian.
In the unlikely event of lesbians being highlighted within
the media, they are usually shown as being large, shaved
I was outraged. Firstly, the university has the gall to
hair, and topless whilst riding motorbikes.
charge us $65 for paridng in an area which is ridiculously
unkempt (here I refer specifically to the gravel car park
All of the above is offensive to queers, because it is solely
where my speedometer iine was destroyed as 1
done to obtain ratings, money and readership through
attempted to exit), offers us no guarantees of a parking
sensationalising individuals into specific labelled groups.
spot - indeed, has a shortage - and then fines people
I'm not saying that there are no gay men or lesbians which
the same amount for partying in an area that shouid have
fit such stereotypes, however, when such stereotypes are
been utilised efficiently for more spots anyway.
portrayed as being the 'norm' for all queers, it devalues
queers into being solely an object for entertainment which
Personally, I don't think it isrightto charge us in the first
is to be gazed and laughed at. This in turn, increases the
place - at $65 a pop, the/d probably be making between
arginalisation and segregation of queers, because they
a quarter and half a million dollars. Where does that
[are perceived to be not just different, but fundamentally
money go? Toward patching the mts or refilling the holes
nferior to heterosexuals because of the portrayal by the
in the car park? Or toward the salaries o^ the parking
^ ^ e d i a . Subsequently, any animosity or disgust towards
officers so they can scrounge more of our hard earned
^Bqueers becomes intensified, increasing the likelihood of
money from us? Get stuffed!
vilification and discrimination.
[20]
NONGAF
Two weeks ago, visiting my grandmother in hospital, I
was also shocked to find myself being charged for parking
there as well. Of all the moral indignationsi Surely this is
some forni of blood money How can this be acceptable?
'Oh, sorry about your Nanny. Half an hour, that's two
bucks.' No!
M
^m
And then there's the footy, an Australian past time. Paridng
•mm
at Waverley is five dollars, on top of the entry fee and the
overly inflated prices they charge for snacks. Five bucks
just to leave your car. 1 wonder where that money goes?
Between Hawthorn and St. Kilda, Waveriey hosts 21
home games this season, multiplied by the thousands of
cars, multiplied by $5 each. Whoa.
^B
3m
What is a society coming to when they charge you to
visit hospitals? Or when they give parking fines after
you've fortced over the money for the^right to park in that
area? It is utterlyridiculous,and frankly, I believe it is the
major institutions over-exerting their "power" in order to^
milk more money from Ihe little people."
. Jodi Sanders
' ^
"Theatre of Warfare"- Kosovo
versus the American Trans Globals
I seem to see bad times for the future of a free, hopefully
President Clinton needs to convince Congress to approve
progressive worid, a world connected and aligned as a
the use of Seventy Billion dollars to build Twenty-Four
power of those countries leading up to the change over
peace bearing era. A nation that conceives to being the
new Stealth B-bombers. He also has to prove that there
to Euro-dollar
literally, is to take control of the economics and political
tore-leader in helping to bring peace toward a better future
is such a need for the Stealth's (in an era heading toward
for the greater good of mankind is now using the cover of
peace), and to have the buyer's for the Stealth Missiles
the lamb to deceive us.
and Apache helicopters. Hence the entrance of the Lamb
lines, refineries, roads, virtually the whole infra-structure
(the Nato Coalition countries and the future buyer's of
will have to be rebuilt on borrowed money, the money
American made plans), to purchase Apache helicopters
given straight back in the form of materials needed to
A country whose prime number one financial asset Is the
Every Bridge, school, factory, important buildings, rail-
creation of Militaria equipment, is now using the NATO
rebuild the infra-structure, to American and Euro Trans
forces to further enrich it's own power and economic
nationals and their associated banks.
status, is now displaying it's greatest air capacity,
capabilities of one great air show, but using a real
America and its Trans globals have seized upon an
war stage to sell off it's latest and newest technologies
opportunity to capitalise and control another group of
to it's NATO allies.
Euro countries by taking advantage of civil conflict.
Then, there is the abundance of Gold and Minerals
Kosovo and Yugoslavia have become the "Weapons
on the Kosovo northern region, wealth which America
of Warfare" air show. These countries have been
wants to own and control.
quietly going through their own civil conflict or war
since the Thirteenth century. Two countries, worlds
So, wanting the approval of Seventy-two billion dollars,
appart - knowledge of the conflict was reported in
with a need to sell such goods, with the lending of the
brief, if at all. Then in came the Lamb (alias America
finance needed for the rebuilding, and the sale of
and its allies), the wolf dressed in sheep's clothing, to
goods tax for rebuilding the nations, and invariably,
help the small Euro country sort out its problems.
the control of another part of the globe, financially and
politicaily through future NATO presence, the worid
Since that intervention we have seen religion used to
and missiles subject to their performance in the current
police force, with the hidden wealth, the elimination of
divide the people of those countries even further than
Yugoslavian conflict. (Herald Sun, 27-4-1999)
local business competition, one can start to see why
broken into pieces. Now those same countries that NATO
Then we have the re-structuring and the infra-structure
the Wolf, dressed in Lamb's clothes.
divided are seeing NATO (the Lamb), choose who it and
of those countries. What the Serb's and Albanian
that which existed before. The people divided, the country
NATO, the Lamb, is involved in doing the dirty work for
it alone, is right or wrong in this crisis, and choose who
refugee's have not destroyed in their anger (that is, a
This War Is worth billions, hundreds of billions of dollars
lives, and who dies, civilians on both sides included.
few remote houses in some smaller villages), America,
to America and the Trans Globals after, repeat, after the
through the use of NATO, is destroying the real infra-
war Is over, plus a uniformed control of that part of the
NATO divided the Albanians further through their
structure of those countries. America is now
worid.
religions, to become refugee's into Kosovo, the same
systematically destroying the heart (that is the factories),
Why are they punishing nations for the sake of one man?
refugee's it is now allegedly trying to help. Once you divide
to make way for new, technically low labour-run, owned
The Trans globals do not care who dies, they only want
the people, you then have control of them.
and controlled factories that are Trans-global corporation.
money and power
The money these countries will now have to borrow from
All the time that this planned long term program of control
the World Bank, through its IMF branch, will never be
is happening, America (whose own wealth is generated
able to be repaid as It will be used to buy raw material's,
NUOVO SECULAR ORDOS, that ex Pres. Bush quoted
through Militia production and the sale of Seventy percent
tools, dies, and machinery, and the knowledge from the
in the Gulf war is upon us.
of the worid's military capacity) along with Britain (who
American Trans-global corporations.
control Twenty percent of the remaining supply of military
The brave new world, and the New World Order, or
Nuovo ordo secular meaning New Earthly Order, or non-
capacity), have found a dual purpose war, air display
Therefore, the real reason for the attack of the aeroplanes
stage.
and technology against a nation of horseback riders,
heavenly, material world.
Mario
^n^mlUMkM
t^KKHMW
Thrifty
,„
ts the official Car Rental Supplier lo
students and staff of
Monash.
For a free membership
come up to the Lot's Wife
office or our local branch and grab your Club ThriftlJ Card.
GO WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST
Phone: 9544 2411
-isaa
I walked into a screening of Two Hands over a month
and a half ago now. I knew nothing of the film nor
nothing of the actors. A brief press release explained
that it was a new Australian film from first time
writer/director, Gregor Jordan. It mentioned a few
names including wellknown Aussie actor Bryan
Brown, but the cast list didn't seem to include any
of Australias predictable young actor film choices.
The two young co-stars named in the press release
were praised as 'the best new talent' in Australian
film. One could say that I was a little less than convinced. It wasn't until I had seen this film that I
had to agree whole hartedly.
New stars Health Ledger and Rose Byrne, having
only appeared in a few Australian T V series and a
couple of minor screen appearances prior to this
film, made a brilliant feature film debut. From the
writing to the casting, cinematography, acting and
sound track this is a top quality Australian film and
comprabic to any American arthouse film. Certainly
this is not in anyway belittleing the Australian film
indusrty, and without doubt there is an increasing
quality and standard in production, but so frequently Australian film is not as popular (even
within Australia). This is clearly evidenced in box
office takings and distribution options. Happily Two
Hands has broken the trend and is to be released in
the megaplexes as well as the smaller arthouse type
cinemas.
There is no suprise about Two Hands success. It is
an interesting combination of the darker side of comedy, a touch of thriller with a clear moral motive.
The script is deaverly written, while depicting the
over generalised aspects of Australian culture, it also
tells the story of a good hearted boy, often over eager to please. While this type of Australian genre
has been overdone in the past - Two Hands certainly
does not drag nor does it follow the plot line of
other Australian culture comedy's.
Following the story of naive yet street tough boy
Jimmy (Ledger) you get taken through the journey
of his will to succeed in the underworld of the Kings
Cross district. Jimmy gets an opportunity to be 'in',
but not unpredictably fucks up the job because of
his quest for love. What follows is a comic tale of a
struggle to right his wrongs.
Now, Perth born Heath Ledger Qimmy) is the hottest property in Hollywood. At only 20 years of age
Heath has already scared in his first Australian feature film as well as the already released (but filmed
after Two Hands) 10 Things I Hate About You.
What is partiduaily noticable during Two Hands is
some very tight directing from Jordan. Two Hands
is Jordans first feature film. So where did this guy
come from? He has not only won the prestigious
Tropicana Short Film Festivi for his film Swinger,
he collected the Jury Prize at the 1995 Cannes Film
Festical, and went on to win the Australian Film
Institue Award (AFI) for the Best Screen Play - Non
Feature, for his second short film Stitched. Jordan is
about due for feature success.
Diector Gregor Jordan does a brilliant job. There
are some truely comic moments, great photography and Australian cityscapes.
The film is accompanied by a brilliant soundrack
which features solely Australian bands. The like of
Powderflnger, Alex Lloyd and Crowded House contribute to the movies music. It is just brilliant that
filnaly an Australian fjm is accompanied by a soley
Australian soundtrack.
This is a really amazing film - support the Australian film industry, support some of Australias great
new talent. Go and see Two Hands, in cinemas Jidy
29.
Asha Holmes
122]
NON CAF
r-
XI
Um^mmt
ivlem^esTjrUreenWeeKXi
Green Week XI kicked off with a bang last year with the
huge launch at Silvers. The place was packed with
Monash people. We danced, we sang, we laughed, we
cried and we hurled. Enough said. The real thing began
with the traditional Champagne breakfast. Free pancakes
and icecream, topped off with champagne laybacks, all
made for interesting pavement art provided by one of the
Infamous Lockie brothers. Yum, Yum!
Still slightly trashed from breakfast, it was time for the
games to begin. New entrants into the teams competition
Included Legion of Malevolence, Team Dodgy, MUA, Pom,
JAFFY, Van Basten, Lot's (Bundy) and Team 2, who all
breathed fresh life into an othenwise traditional team line
up of Shitscared, AOPOS and the Halls teams. Trike races
were on, with the beer coming up shortly after that (all
hail the funnel chunder). The next day's premier event
was Centurian. This event saw competitors pitted against
their stomachs as they downed a shot o' beer every 30
seconds for 50 minutes (we're sure you know how it
goes). The crowd got right into this, with plenty of non
competitors trying to keep pace. Spectators were so
keen, they even found their way onto the roof of the
Union to watch as inflatable furniture surfed atiove the
crowd. Air hail King JAFFY, coming second after a
mammoth effort, finishing in a skull off. That evening,
things were a bit blurry at the Cellar Night, but we're
told we had a good time playing free pool and being
very sociable.
Wednesday came and went, seeing another JAFFY
reach fame and fortune with his efforts of digestion in
the Iron Gut. Wednesday Night...TISM Union Night.
Those guys went off like a frog in a sock. As TISM
stripped their clothing and demolished parts of the Union
roof, the insulation become a souvenir of the night.
Thursday saw the finalists on the Interchange Bench, as
well as the Boat Races and Fourlegless. Everyone
needed a bit of detox after that though, because it was
hard to remember much of the Scav Hunt. Heaps of
people were at Flinders Street for the night time activities,
not to mention the stacks-on on Pariiament House. Each
year's scav hunt list includes many items from the
Melbourne metropolitan area or even some from your
own home. A great highlight was riding the Gumbuya
Pari< pheasant and trying to find Poowong (yes it does
exist) all while drinking to excess In the passenger seat
or trying to stay awake in the drivers seat. Shitscared
ended up winning the "premiership" for the third and final
year in a row, as the remaining student members have
been scattered amongst new and existing teams. Green
Week King was Crackers from MUA and Queen was
Bessie Abbott from Team 2.
Keith, Kristlna and Alex,
Activities '99
An appology from
the activities office
Rogainning was left out of the green week guide. It is
being held on Tuesday 2 7 * July at 2:30pm at the
marketplace.
Roganing:
Today's PE lesson will involve ROGAINE (Rugged
Outdoor Group Activity Involving Navigation and
Endurance). However, very little remains from the original
and this has more to do with regurgitation, staggering,
regurgitation, stupidity and regurgitation. To find only the
fittest little vegemites, we replace compasses with beer
and groups with a single competitor. Competitors start at
the market place with a social beer before navigating their
way to three other beer stops, then returning to the mari<et
place (where peer group pressure dictates they must have
a final drink). The fastest two then get to slog it out in an
all or nothing final. Be warned, anyone can skull a few
beers or run a few meters, but very few can combine the
two without spectacular results.
r
Munch Me
Fair dinkum, you can't get away with anything nowadays.
Political correctness is the norm. Just the other week, I
called my Auntie a 'fat old slut', and she cracked the shits.
What gives!?! Has the whole world just fucken lost it?
Another example of political correctness gone too far
concerns my visit to the Doctors the other day. I
complained about a sore rectum, so my doctor put on
the gloves and a bit of lube and started giving me a bit of
arse-fingering. I said 'hey Doc, you don't mind if I pull
myself off whilst you're doing that do you?' Now I have a
fucken lawsuit on my hands, and my arse is still sore.
You just can't win in this day and age.
[24]
NON CAF
Well exams are over and thank the fuck they are. I had
a particulariy disturbing experience in one of my exams,
which I would like to relate to you all. The night before
my Financial Econometrics exam, not a fucken easy
subject I can tell you, I had a hot Indian curry, and just
to calm the nerves, I washed It down with a six-pack.
The following morning, 1 had a good breakfast of baked
beans and prune juice, and I made my way to exam. As
I entered the exam room, I started feeling a bit crook in
the guts. As I sat down, 1 was experiencing faecal
urgency, and once reading time staried, I had already
shit my pants several times. I was not the only one who
was worried about my anal leakage either, as everyone
in the next two rows obviously though that someone had
just killed a fucken horse in the exam room and were
looking at me. It sure was the wrong day to wear those
beige jeans too. So with my teeth and bowel clenched, I
soldiered on, and managed to soil my pants only another
two or three times for the rest of the exam. I have applied
for and expect to get special consideration, as has
everyone else in the exam room who was unfortunate
enough to smell my cabbage gas.
The Munchkiry
Alcoholism...
The Stories of two Alcoholics
Another Green Week. Another week of hardcore drinking, throwing up, drunken
frivolity and prizes. Sounds great. But let's pause and think about what
undoubtably lies on the other side of this coin for many. Alcoholism.
I've had about fifteen jobs, but have either been told to fuck off because I'm
always drunk or just haven't shown up. I enjoy artworit and do quite a lot of
drawing. Being a drunk has never really affected that side of my life.
What follows is the stories of two alcoholics that I know. The stories have been
pieced together from an interview conducted in a rooming house in Fitzroy.
Life as an alcoholic is like a dream. No. More like a nightmare. It's one extreme
or the other; either the horrors or a nice dreamworid. I need to drink to cope with
the daily pressures of life. It's not a false courage, many people say it is, but it's
not. I've got plenty of courage, don't worry about that. I only hang out with other
people with the same disease as me and we tend to support each other. We go
to AA meetings together at least twice a month and try to support each other.
There are plenty of people in the same boat as me.
Barry's Story:
"I am 45, was bom in Sydney, but spent most of my childhood in Tarcutta near
Wogga. I started drinking at 12 because my dad was always drinking and he
seemed to be having a wonderful time and I wanted to have a good time as well
because my life was miserable. Dad would go off and drink alone and not spend
much time with me so I thought that if I started drinking he would like me and
spend time with me. I'd been getting dad's beers for him from the fridge for
years. It seemed to help my relationship with dad. I could out drink dad so when
he passed out I would keep going.
By the time I was fifteen I knew I was an alcoholic. I couldn't concentrate at
school anymore, especially with social studies, instead of studying I was drinking.
I left school at fifteen and two years later started work as a landscape gardener.
After that I was a timber worker for 5 years. When I started that job I would only
drink Friday and Saturday nights. Then it went to Sunday night, then Monday
night etc. etc. until I was drinking seven nights a week and I got the sack. I was
a builders labourer for a while, but that didn't last long. I applied for other jobs,
but couldn't get them because I was always drunk. Now I am on a disability
pension and am classified as unemployable.
I have two kids. One dead of a drug overdose at age 17. The other is 15 and I
see him about twice a year. Being an alcoholic has affected my family and
relationships heaps.
I've got three kids; Melissa (22), Shelley (20) and Nadia (7). My alcoholism has
meant that I have not been able to look after my family property. I've tried to give
it up at least twenty times and it is probably only my kids and the possibility of
having my youngest one back that could help me get out of it. I believe that I
couldn't get off the grog without, God or a Higher Power or whatever.
I'd say to anyone who has a history of alcoholism in their family or thinks that
maybe they could be one that they shouldn't have a first drink because it'll grab
hold of you."
Matt Bell
savd
I drank metho for ten years, one litre a day. I was bloody lucky to survive it. If I
were to go back to drinking it now it would kill me. I only survived it because I
ate a lot. When you're drinking metho you have to eat otherwise you're fucked.
It was a big hassle for my body when I gave up metho. I would have fits, get the
sweats and the shakes. But now I'm alright, I only get the shakes. I now drink
one bottle of Port a day, I would drink more, but the person who buys it for me
won't let me.
iblood
I get along alright with in Fitzroy, but often walk past me in the street and don't
want to know me. That makes me feel terrible, like an outcast. I have extensive
frontal lobe damage which has resulted in a loss of short term memory. I've
been in hospital more times than I can remember and I've fallen asleep in the
street heaps. I've fallen over heaps and done injuries to my back, hip, angle
and arm. I sometimes shit or piss myself, I can't control it.
Engineering Building
EH4/60
Union Loop Road
Wednesday July 21
Thursday July 22
Friday July 23
between
9.15am & 3.30pm
I've tried to give up four times, but have not succeeded 'cos I felt like I wasn't
enjoying life. For me to get off the grog I'd need dramatic life change- marry
again, have kids, get a job and get some money. I reckon I'll live till 80. At this
point I said: That's another 40 odd years ofdrinking, and Barry replied: No. It's
another 40 years of life, I won't make it if I keep drinking."
Linda's Story:
"I am 40 and have drinking since I was 12. An older friend offered me a drink
when me and my family were over at a neighbours place oqe time. Straight
after that first drink I needed another and the same the next day I was an
alcoholic since my first drink. My parents found out I was drinking and told me
that alcoholism was genetic in our family. I didn't know what that meant at the
time. It turns out that there were five alcoholics in our family already. Alcoholism
is a disease. I left school in year nine and did some tertiary education in typing.
Ja^^m
giVd
I AiutnOian Red Croa
H.M.«J:l'iMJ
Free movie tickets
to all new donors
and current donors
wiio bring a new
donor to this
location.
MSAActivities
Last CUB Green Ring
Pull Draw for 1099
Star wars
^" June at 12,0lain. 44X Star Wars lanatics
to lrc;i( Ihcmsclvcs lo the lirsl scivening of Star Wars: Kpisodc
One "The Phaniom Menace".
Although the reviews were varied, the oserall reaction to the
night was very good. Most people came out thinking that thci
night had been well worth the wait. e\eii if they had Ihoiight
thai a few things in the movie shouldn't have happened. Just
going into n cinema with a couple of hundred friends is a great
The alnuisphere at such an Activities event was so comfortable and friendly that you were ubie to enjoy the movie even ol
you didn't like e\ eiy facet of it.
Rating: 4 '/i vSmiles
Committee Member Profile
I Warren Ng, Eng HI —__—_^_>_______
iMost Memorable Moment
I at an Activities Event:
llf I could remember it, it
[wouldn't be a memorable AcItivities event.., (How's that for
Itiippy?!)
•Most embarrassing moIment in previous Green
IWeeks:
IAOPOS, the Green Week team
I of which 1 was a member of,
Ideciding that me mooning the
Icrowd gathered at the Scav
I Hunt presentation would qualify
las Warrick Capper. (Wazza's
ICrapper)
If you were stuck on a
desert island, who would you
take and why? Lou Cooper...
I'm morally opposed to suicide
so maybe Lou could annoy me
to death...
Favorite Beer?
A Boilermaker... Nothing
makes lager go down like a shot
of bourbon. Furthermore, the
AGB is the most satisfying
bowel movement you'll ever
have,
What Green Week Event
would you introduce?
Keg Skull!!!
•Michael Lowe, Eng HI.
I Most Memorable Moment at
Ian Activities Event:
l l h e end of Green Week when
II reward myself with a lot of
I sleep.
•Most embarrassing moment
lin previous Green Weeks:
iThrowing up in an Activities
I Chairs house at a post-Green
I Week party.
[Favorite Beer?
IcoldBeer!
W0V^
Up and Coming
Events
Fri ^-^ July
Green
Week 12
Preview
Wed
•0
Aug
POWDERFINOER
U N I O N NIGHT
WITH
SOMETHING FOR KATE &
ICECREAM HANDS
Main Dining Rooin, Union
Building, Monash Clayton, 8pm I
Let the shenanigans begin!
Green Week is almost upon us Mon-Wed
Aug
again. Next week the carnage
will begin as always with a
1999
champagne breakfast with a
splash of Cornflakes (mmm?)
at 10am. From there we have
• national Campus Band I
Trike Races, Mastermindless, Cellar Rooms, Monash Clayton [
VB Hunt, Irongut, Rogaining,
8pm each night - Come and
Tug 'o' war, Billy Cart Races,
support Monash Bands!
Centurion, Boat Races,
Thurs
Fourlegless, Shot Of Green ,
Scavenger Hunt and a Cellar
Night with a Pool Competition
Balll
and Band. If you have never C o c k t a i l
participated in a Green Week
in conunction with the Monash
event before then now is the
European Language Clubs
lime to do so. Bring your student card and head up to the
Activities Office to register at
Thurs
12 noon on Thursday 22"'' July.
Sept I
Not all the events involve
drinking beer, including VB
Hunt, Tug 'o' War, Billy Cart C U B G r e e n Rlngpuil|
Competition
Races, the Pool Competition
and Scavenger Hunt. Don't
Free Union Night
want to participate? Be a spec- More Details t o come..
tator. All events are spectator
oriented and are great fun to
watch!
Cdipetition^,
$35
0.
desert island, who would you
take and why?
My girlfriend. If there wasn't
So come and see die festivities
any food I could nibble on her
unravel.
ear.
What Green Week Event
would you introduce?
Synchronised Beer Skulling.
CUB Green
If you were an animal, what
Ring Pull
would you be and why? Any,
Tally
animals don't get homework or
have to study for exams.
9796
Fri
^-v Sept
0—
OCTOBEStFESr
Cellar R o o m s , S p m
All y o u c a n drink
w i t h dinnersupplied
$17
graphic
accelorators
>>>surfing the
net for b e e r
>> tricking t h e
miilenium bug
I everyonel Given the recent surge in 3D games and the hype around the release of the new Quake 3 game, I thought I might \ake a look
into the world of 3D graphics cards.
What is 3D?
3D computer graphics that are generated with more than your stock standard Windows and Microsoft Word graphics where you are
basically looking at a piece of paper, 3D images allow you to explore shapes and give you a perception of depth. For a computer to draw
these shapes, It requires many complex mathematical calculations. This is why In the past old graphics cards have been less than adequate
with coping with such demands and ttius the 3D graphics accelerator was born. Instead of your computer's processor doing ttie work, the
graphics card would do the number crunching. You can get 3D only cards that work with a regular 2D graphics card, or you can get 2D/3D
combo cards. You can also get these cards in two different slots: AGP (Accelerated Graphics Port) and PCI (Peripheral Component
Interconnect).
Since there are so many different types of cards out there I'm going to focus on a few popular brands in AGP (many are available in PCI) and
2D/3D combo cards. Some say why waste another slot when you can get one kick arse card? But then again some feel Ihe more the
merrier'.
At a glance - Here's what I looked at: 3dfx's Voodoo 3 2000, Creative Lab's Graphics Blaster RIVA TNT, Diamond's Viper V550, Matrox's
Millenium G200 SD. These are all basically AGP 2D/3D combo cards for the PC with at least 16 MB of video RAM.
Here are just a few interesting facts about these cards:
Voodoo 3 2000
GB RIVA T N T
Controller Chip
Nvidia RIVA TNT
3dfx Voodoo 3
Video Ram
16MB
16MB
RAM Type
SDRAM
SDRAM
RAf^DAC Speed 300 MHz
250 MHz
Viper V550
Nvidia RiVA T N T
16MB
SDRAM
250 MHz
Miiienium G200
Matrox MGA-G200
16MB
SDRAM
250 MHz
3dfx Voodoo 3 2000 (AQP)
Diamond Viper V550
What's good?
3dfx claims to have the 2 best selling cands in North
America. That's not all that hard to believe given that
they are a nice package. The maximum resolution you
can get out of this card is about 2048x1536 and can draw
6 million triangles per second. This will also support the
common OpenGL and Direct3D standards as well as
3dfx's Glide standard. The other things I like about this
card are that It has DVD (Digital Versatile Disc) support
and apparently carries a lifetime warranty.
As with the Creative Card, this is based on the Nividia
RIVA TNT and so supports OpenGL and DirectSD. This
also has a maximum resolution of 1920x1200 so there's
not much difference there either. The thing I really like
about this card though is that it has an S-Video connector
so you can plug your computer into your TV to play Ouake!
Better still you can add on a TV tuner and watcti TV on
your computer as well. The downside, well there isn't a
huge punch in the 3D speeds and resolution compared
to the Voodoo 3.
Well just at a glance I would go for the 3dfx card. It's a
great performer and has plenty of features. The only
drawback to this comparison is that these are only midranged cards. Each manufacturer has even better cards
on offer. The newest chips out are the Voodoo 3 and the
RIVA TNT 2. So given I have only looked at one such
card it was always going to have a big advantage in terms
of processing power, but as you can see the older RIVA
TNT chip in the Creative card can pretty much match the
redraw rates of the Voodoo 3 so it's not a bad comparison
still. Anyway, what It all boils down to is money; the more
you spend, the better the end result.
Creative Lab Graphics Blaster RIVA TNT
Matrox's Miilenium G200 SD
Since this is based on Nividia's RIVA TNT chip this
supports OpenGL and Direct3D games. This offering
from Creative seems to only be able to hit 1900x1200 in
resolution which is rather poor compared to the Voodoo
3 card, on the other hand this also appears to be able to
hit speeds of up to 6 million triangles per second. This
card also has DVD support, which is always handy but
one of the drawbacks to this card Is that It only has a 15
pin monitor output.
Ronny Liew
riiel Sstudent.monash.edu.au
Matrox has gone out on if s own and used their own video
chip. This doesn't seem to be a great deal better than
the Nividia RIVA TNT chip though. It's able to produce
1920x1200 resolution. This card also comes equipped
with a 15 pin monitor output and also supports DVD
upgrades. Overall this seems like a pretty basic card.
MOTORCYCLE LEARNER
PERMIT
MONASH
DRIVING
SCHOOL
•
Plerce^e^Resistance
^@ David S. Nolte
»
Pharmacy
7 0 r - 7 0 3 Rothdowne Street,
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Mo&ile: 0418 394 464
E-fTiDil: [email protected]
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Specialising in overseas cliange-over
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10000101010101001101101010101011111101010101010101010101011111111010101010101010101000001111110010
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111110100000011101010101011110101001111111010101010110000101010100101010101101010101010
I debated what to write in this article, I truly did. Do I concentrate on beer, vomit, and drinking games, oblivious to the fact that the majority
of y'all out there will be concentrating slightly more on drinking that on whatever the hell I write, or do I say to hell with you all and write
whatever I like? The answer is obvious. So for those who actually intend to be online for even a mere second while beer flows fast and free
around Monash, I have included a few links to drinking related sites online, and for those who blearily twitch for the thousandth time in front
of their flickering monitor, I have included some various useful online blatherings.
Most importantly, I have to draw your attention to the issue of Internet censorship. For those of you who haven't heard, the Broadcasting
Services Amendment (Online Services) Bill 1999 was introduced to the Senate on the 2 1 " of April this year. On May the 26" the Bill was
passed in the Senate, and it has just recently been hastily shoved through the House of Representatives with Alston's usual aplomb in
dealing carefully and sensitively with the troublesome concepts that underlie this complex issue.
I could write for pages and pages about this legislation, pointing out the millions of irrationalities, stupidities, and questionable motives, that
have marked this Bill as being as close as possible to the epitome of the spirit of the Howard Government's 'reign'. However, much has
already been written on this topic, by concerned individuals, politicians, activists, and organisations, such as Electronic Frontiers Australia,
which is primarily concerned with freedom of speech online. I therefore advise you to make your way to EFA's homepage since their site is
a great place to start your readings about censorship and the 'net'. So, as they say in all those tacky little Internet columns, point your
browsers to www.efa.org.au. and get educated.
Incidentally, one of the words that triggers a ban on the page that contains it, on one of the filtering programs that Alston is so keen to
integrate into the workings of the Australian internet, is beer. This means that if this program is instituted on 1/1/2000, you won't be able to
access these sites. On that happy note, I bring you to Site by Taste.
www.beercow.com/home.html
Beer Cow Industries
The Trace brothers in Hempstead, Texas, have created a revolutionary animal that gives forth not milk, but instead a wonderful dark
amber ale, using the magnificent patented PullTap FlexiFlow technology
The sites includes information about the brothers, the Trace families history (including a secessionist father who had attempted to
establish the Republic of Marifloras in Texas), and a description of the birth of the Beer Cow industries ('and suddenly he was touching all
over us like we were Wilbur and Orville looking for bicycle chain money").
aremis,eng.monash.edu.au/-mills/waterski/newsletters/vomitdic.html
Vomit Dictionary
For the inevitable . . . you know you're going to want to describe precisely what comes under the category of "drinkable" to that
intemational student next to you, and how you will be able to If you don't know that Americans say keck? Well ok, the dictionary is only in
English, but the number of different ways to describe making pavement asterisks is absolutely astonishing. And a big thank you to Monash
Waterskiers for putting this page up. You guys are the best.
www.fezlne.com
STOP
I Fuck Everything
I Guaranteed to offend absolutely everyone and anyone, the Fuck Everything e-zine is peppered with 'shitty poetry'
l a n d articles such as 'suicide is the best revenge'. Does absolutely nothing to further the education, development, or
levolution of the human race. Is immature, obscene, pen/erse, and pointless. Truly the archetype of a website.
www.leftbank.com/-antia/pooh.html
Pooh Goes Apeshit
A story of how one day Pooh just lost it and went on a killing spree in the 7-acre wood, after sniffing "a large dose of
[the white powder". Graphically describes his various ways of killing the inhabitants of the wood, including 'that manic
depressive donkey', Christopher Robin, and Piglet. Waming: there isn't a happy ending.
www.trenchcoat.orq/
... into Ultra Tune Clayton and have your late model
car's brakes replaced this month only for just $99. Offer
includes machining and use of quality pads.
Book now!
9545 6066
When your whole car's singing it's
UltraTuned.
ULTRA TUNE CLAYTON
U 6 2 Centre Road, Clayton VIC 3168
rr Phone (03) 9545 6066
Trench-coat Mafia Confidential
A page that apparently was started as a typical sick joke, post-Columbine-shootings. Its authors received so much
hate mail that they completely dedicated the page to some of the more choice ones, including comments such as
"You mother fucking cock suckers I am going to kill your shanky ass you mother fuckers!", "I got suspended for
wearing [ a black trench-coat ] after some physco went scholastic", and "You will wori< as a gas station attendant
I until your 90 and fingers fall off."
Naomi CIvlns
let's do the time uuarp again
Unless you have been living in a cave with no phone, TV or sewerage you will be aware
of the "Millenium Bug", a gigantic beetle-like creature that threatens to launch nuclear
missiles, destroy the world's banking infrastructure, and knock out power and water to all
of the major cities in the world. The problem of course is that two-digit year counters will
spit the dummy when it clicks over to 00, not recognising that 00 = 2000. If you're not sure
whether the Millenium bug applies to you, there are a few ways of checking. There are a
plethora of software testers you can buy whteh will test whether any of your applications
are a risk. Perhaps better and the cheaper option is to take your machine down to the
nearest large computer store, as most of them now offer free y2k testing. However you
will have to put up with the hard sell from the sales assistant when you find that your
machine is as reliable as an Aeroflot aircraft. If you can put up with this then free testing
is the way to go.
Stepi:
Don't Rank;
Step 2:
Turn on machine, and watch the numbers increase. Once this
has stopped you will be given the option of entering the bios setup, usually this is done
by striking a particular key. Press the key as soon as the message comes up though
because you only have a two second window of opportunity.
Step 2a:
if you have a later verston of Bios, then you will have to select the Bask;
Bios setup, not the advanced Bios setup
Step 3:
Once you enter the bios you should be confronted with a screen full of
figures, the top most one should be the date and time. Follow the instructions on the
bottom of the screen to move the highlight to the date box, then wind back the years.
Do not alter any other values in any other box. If you do, you may find yourself up poo
creek without a toilet duck.
Step 4:
Confirm settings and exit bios.Your computer should then re-boot and
proceed nomnally with the revised date. If however it does not boot up, enter Bios
again and reset the settings that were altered (apart from the date) using the copy of
the values that you made before you changed anything!
Step 5:
Finish your history assignment, return Socrates, Ghengis Khan, and the
most excellent medieval babes to their respective times, bid farewell to Rufus and
"Party On Dudes!"
Jeremy Tan
1501 i o o i i o i o j »
m\-[Qioiit
l o t i o i o n / 10U!
Siv^^^^^""" SS^'^F" SJ^n"''' '''
Those of us running on a typical student budget (slowly building up a healthy VISA debt,
and eating two minute noodles) who can't afford to upgrade to a new computer, could
end up as fucked as one of Bill Clinton's cigars. It is certain that anyone with a processor
slower than a 486 is in for a bumpy ride when the Bios clicks over to the big 00. The most
obvious way of combating this problem is to go out any buy a new computer, preferably
something with a celeron processor and DVDrom drive. However if bios sounds like an
unspoiled Amazon rainforest, celeron sounds like Celery soup, and DVDrom reminds
you of a cure for syphilis, read on... There Is a simple solution, which won't cost you a
cent. Just as bloody well because it attracts no GST.
The Bios is the thingamy that tells the rest of the computer what its all about, it's sort of an
identity bracelet and medical records for the computer. It tells the computer what hardware
is Installed, the date and time. The most important thing to remember when buggerizing
around in the bios, any incorrect changes to the setup can prevent your computer from
functioning. If you tell the computer that it has something it hasn't, it will spit the dummy,
and kamikaze. A good tip to remember is to write down all of the figures before you alter
anything, that way if you bugger anything up accidentally at least you'll be able fix the
mistake.
If you set your bios clock exactly 50 years in the past you will have 50 years of computing
pleasure before you have to worry about the millenium's licence to kill. On the up side we
can fulfill Cher's fantasy and tum back time for your computer. On the down side, any
program that uses the date or the time will think that it is the 40's - SO's, and will date
documents accordingly. However this is more an inconvenience, whereas the millenium
bug will prevent your software from running. If being stuck in the past isn't a major problem
for you, and you don't mind doing the time warp again then follow the yellow brick road.
As they say the greatest journey begins with the smallest step...
the coolest way to get yonr tax refiind
this year!
Use futuretax this year to get the maximum possible tax
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Have your tax return prepared using our specialised e-mail
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a working title
The year that was. That's what the newspapers often
called it. The life that was. I thought that was more
appropriate. I wondered whether it was possible to live
an entire life in the course of one year. Forty, maybe fifty
years compressed into twelve months. I was twenty
years old, and yet I had been married, seen the birth of
my first child, been separated, thrown out of university,
been readmitted, had my first volume of poetry
published, kicked a potentially dangerous drug habit
and had taken religion. The latter, only for five days. I
had definitely aged. This year had made sure of that.
My father admitted as much when he agreed to meet
me for dinner at the university local. He knew what he
was talking about. My parents had married when they
were nineteen, they had mamed more out of convenience
than love although, they were in love or believed
themselves to be. My mother's parents had promised
them a large allowance if they agreed to live together.
My father dropped out of university. My mother stayed
on and continued her course until I was born. They were
both writers. My father had two volumes of poetry, three
books and a series of essays published before his talent
left him at the ripe old age of twenty-seven. After that
he simply couldn't write.
"Everything left me that year." He once told me. "My
inspiration, my motivation, and then Julianne walked
out as well." Julianne was my father's second wife, my
mother having divorced him when he was twenty-two. 'I
had lived a lifetime before I was thirty, the light had
begun to glow at eighteen burned with an intense
brightness then went out and stayed out." Somehow
he had managed to eke out a living as university lecturer
but nothing he did seemed to matter. His students found
him stale and uninteresting, as any passion he might
have been able to instill in them had already been
expended. "I should really withdrawfrom life." He said
contemplating his beer. "I've done my dash, reached
my peak, done everything that 1 should have, could have.
I've got nothing to live for because I've managed to
accomplish it already." My father was forty-nine. I asked
him what this meant for me. Was I following the same
pattern? Would I end up as he had? "It might be worse
for you." He replied. "Your life Is already out of control."
weeks I had fallen in love and quickly confessed that I loved that person more
than anyone I had ever met or was likely to meet. They were the one. I had
proposed before she discovered she was pregnant. It had seemed as if a course
had been predetermined, that someone had selected a path for me and was now
intent on my following it with great rapidity. I had lost interest in my studies. I was
a good student but compared to the rate at which everything else was travelling,
anything academic was lost in the blur. Subsequently the university informed me
that unless my performance improved I would be invited to leave. During a period
of intense stress I had told a lecturer, who kept annoying me with requests for
work that was long overdue, to go and fuck himself. I was kicked out on the day
I found out that the collection of poems I had been writing for the last two years
had been accepted for publication. Overjoyed I ran to tell my wife, we had been
man-ied just three months, the news. She told me that after a lot of thinking,
although she still loved me, she was too young to be married and was going to
live with her parents in Far North Queensland. She called it a "trial separation".
She left the next day. Two weeks ago she gave birth to our son. I thought the fact
that I was now a published poet would fill this emotional void. It didn't. I resumed
any early interest in hallucinogens. Taking a full scale regimen of hard drugs
every week I thought might make it easier to write that being my full time
occupation. Full time writer, full time user. In due course the drug habit gave way
to religion. I went to church. I renounced sin. I was blessed. I left the church.
Praise the Lord. I hadn't completely given up on religion - 1 knew that I might need
a place of worship again before the year was out.
I took down my father's first book from my shelf. It had some bizarre counterculture title. The endorsements on the back read: the voice of his generation ...
a superb debut... we have witnessed the arrival of a new talent,' and so forth, all
so laudatory, all enough to make him believe that his future was secure. I lay on
my bed and tried to imagine just what else could happen in the next month and a
half. The year was running out, was my life running with it? I'd write some more,
I knew that. I had to. This creative buzz that was driving me might disappear at
any minute. 1 decided that I'd start on a novel. It wouldn't take me long to write it,
or a memoir? Something told me I 'd be dead come December 31.1 had no future,
I was having the only real creative period of my life right now, the kind of period
that for most writers might stretch to ten or fifteen years was happening in the
space of five months. I had to make as big a mark as possible. Fuck everything
else, this was what I was going to do. So I wrote...
As I walked back to my room after dinner I thought about
my father's rather bleak forecast. Everything had
happened with amazing speed. In January I had begun
my second year at university and my life had a regularity
and security that was comfortable. Then within a few
[30]
CAF
creative writing
Will King
penguin
She was just like any other girl at her new school. Rrst day of school. Grade 2.
She was dressed almost the same as the others, except for her new maroon
school jumper that she wore on a hot Melbourne day in late January. A jumper
disguising a series of red welts up and down her left arm, welts about the size of
five cent pieces, the kind that are made by the grinding of cigarette butts into an
eight year olds arm.
She played with the other girls, she played chasey, she played elastics, she played
jump rope. But she never took her jumper off, and she always made sure her
dress never flew up, she never hung upside down on the monkey bars. And
whenever one of the boys tried to look up her skirt or tapped her on the shoulder
or pulled her ponytail she wouldn't just try to kick them once and then think
nothing more of it, like the other girls did. No, she would turn around and fight
them until they bled or begged her to stop, and at other times she would just
turnaround, runaway and cry, and remain for the rest of the day in a sulk that no
one, no matter how hard they tried, could bring her out of.
On Wednesdays she was different from the other girls, she had a note from
home that let her come to school already dressed In her sports uniform Instead
of getting changed at school in front of the other girls and boys, in front of her
teacher. A note that was written by her dad, not her mum. Her mother worked
early till late, and was always away on business trips. A note that was written well
and neatly in firm blue ink that smelt of stale smoke and fresh bourbon.
page
mostly fear she felt as she stared at the wall. The matron |
contacted the principle who in-turn contacted the mother.
The girls mother confronted the father who, responded |
by beating her, breaking her nose and singeing her hair.
The father beat and raped the girl one last time as he I
fled the house leaving the unconscious bodies of mother |
and daughter all bloody slumped on the living room floor,
just before he set the house on fire.
The father was caught and arrested 3 years later, he
was tried and convicted. He got out of jail 5 years later I
on a good behavior bond, he married straight away and
had a baby giri that grew up in much the same way as |
his first daughter.
The mother escaped with her daughter from their burning
home. She never was really able to recover from what
happened, she turned to the bottle. She went on with
her successful job by day and a dry gin in her hand at
night, up until the day she died, up until her ex-husband
shot her in the head, he then shot himself, he had shot
his new wife half an hour eariier.
The little girl grew up.
It was on a Thursday in mid Autumn, at the end of 1 " term of Grade 3, she was
running and she slipped on the grass and hit her knee on a piece of wooden play
equipment, her knee bled, she said it didn't hurt. She went on playing while all
the children watched, while the hem of her skirt and her socks turned crimson
and pink. They wondered why she wasn't crying, although they had only seen her
cry once, last year when Simon Parker In 2G tried to look up her skirt. When they
asked her why she didn't cry she simply told them that she had been hurt more
at home before.
The other children took her to the matron. The matron noticed as she was bandaging
the little girls leg that she had bruises up and down her thighs and a little blob of
dried blood at the edge of the little girls "Barbie" panties. The matron asked the
girl what had happened to her private parts, she just said "daddy" and then
stared at the wall in an extreme case of catatonic shock. She wasn't sure If what
she felt was joy or fear of the fact that she finally told someone the answer. It was
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>
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Leonard Volkov
Why I Want To Be King of Australia Edward de Bono O-I4-OIS7D6-X 119.9s
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The little girl knew far more of pain and suffering than
anyone should ever have to.
next millenium. Why I Want to be King of Australia is about
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creative writing
Every week, the glorious occasion accompanying your lectures,
the humble tutorial session, can be seen to be a bit of a croc of
shit. Many people attend tutorials only to ensure they can rebut:
"But I attend all the tutes" when they face the relevant faculty's
satisfactory completion board after failing miserably. I am here to
provide my fellow scum-bags and dead-beats at Monash some
reliable policies to help you get through the weekly torture of
tutorials.
and join a charity servicing the disadvantaged persons overseas,
realising their full (but limited) potential.
fer*®*^-^
Criterion One: Antagonise the tutor (or Assistant
Lecturer as they are sometimes overrated).
The majority of tutors are masters students who are only tutoring
undergraduates for the money and perks, such as free stationary,
an office and a better computer than they can afford on their
piss-weak wage, so make sure you try to make their job as difficult
as possible. Unfortunately, this may require a bit of research,
such a producing evidence to prove that the tutor Is talking absolute
crap, completely contradictory to the lecture notes. Then,
complement your Viatural ability' in the subject by opening a comic
or pornographic magazine and not listening, only contributing again
when your so-called tutor fucks up again. Ultimately, the
satisfaction received from embarrassing the loser into submission
is worth the time spent setting him/her up and will lead to any
poor marks being able to be cast aside as a biased view, due to
your triumphant victory over their stupidity.
Criterion Two: Don't have any friends.
I hate everyone at university hence I have a little difficulty becoming
social with people at uni. However, this ultimately works in my
favour. Having no friends will ensure that you can look down on
all the sad losers who think they are in some kind of fulfilling,
meaningful relationship. You know that at the end of the day, the
only person who is your true friend, and provider of ultimate
pleasure, is yourself. Therefore, take all opportunities available
to embarrass members of your tute involved in meaningful
friendships. The law of probabilities suggests that your tutor is a
loser with no friends, who also hates seeing other people having
a good time, and will be quite impressed with your direct attack
on the superficiality of university friendships. This will ultimately
work in your favour come time for an extension, as you can claim
you were beaten by an angry mob of MSA activities-loving losers.
Criterion Three: Go to your tutorial drunk.
I have done this and have managed to offend everyone in the
room with my low-brow humour and even shadier logic, with very
little effort required. Needless to say, it was the highlight of my
week. In most cases, your tutor will feel sorry for you, dismissing
you as a social outcast with no friends and hence having no
choice but to get pissed on your lunch break (in my case, they're
generally correct). Otherwise, they will probably not kick you out
of the tute in fear that you will turn around and beat them up,
using your ever reliable Dutch Courage. After appearing at your
tute drunk, always remember to attend the next tute as a silent,
depressed hermit, only muttering "here" when your name is called
for attendance. This will shock your fellow students into feelings
of guilt for having such nasty feelings towards you in the past
week and hopefully some of the idiots will drop out of university
[32]
CAF
Criterion Four: Hold up the class asking questions you
know everybody knows the answer to.
There is nothing more irritating than having tute time wasted by
asking simple questions. Generally, the tutor will enjoy answering
it because it is one area of the course they actually remember
from three years earlier when they took the course, so it will win
you brownie points ("that student makes me look clever"). This
makes all other members of the tutorial who are In need of
assistance irritated, because they are being subjected to crap
they already know. Be sure to continue to ask even more simple
supplementary questions until five minutes to the hour, when
the tutorial is over.
Criterion Five: Make eyes at the most attractive
member of the class.
Surprisingly enough, it is possible to become successful with the
opposite sex by being an arsehole. A person will be quite flattered
if the resident arsehole takes an Interest in them. While they
may be flattered that they have softened the class bastard, make
sure you fuck them at the soonest opportunity, abandon the person
at their most vulnerable moment and start making eyes at the
second best looking member of the class. If you're worried about
your reputation spreading, don't worry. Generally, the first person
you used for sex will be so disgusted they let your genitalia
anywhere near theirs, they would not dare increase the humiliation
by telling anyone. "Vou will be able to continue until you reach the
point of ugliness, then it is time to change tutorials and begin a
new prowl.
^"'W*''^-
Mmn
creative writing
Criterion Six: Produce work of a quality standard.
The only thing that motivates me to produce work of a reasonable
standard is surprising my tutor that even though 1 am an angry
young man who hates the worid, 1 am still capable of achieving
good marks. This is especially good for when all the uni-loving
losers start comparing marks, and you can go up to them, citing
thatyou beat them all.
So, what is to be learnt from my little lesson in university tutes?
Basically, make yourself as Irritating, successful and mean as
possible and you will enjoy your time at uni. The only other advice
I have is always take subjects which don't have tutes at all (a-ha,
they do exist!). Remember, success at uni is not measured by
the amount of societies you are a member of or how many people
you have lunch with. Rather, success is measured by how many
people want to be like you, because you are able to take care of
yourself so well, without being friends with anyone (good marks
also help). Don't forget your high school friends: they're the best
friends you'll ever have.
Be sure to read next time when 1 explain to you the best way to
make lectures interesting.
Bitter and Twisted,
Comm/Eco 11
A Calm Stotm
relationships
The sun denies its daily fill
Birds do not sing their joyful song
a wcy dbseivatian
The trees remain silently still
Unease like mine does not belong
Relationships. There's just one thing about them I don't get, and that's why.
Ultimately, I suppose we're all looking for someone with whom we can "settle
down". As in, marry, have kids, and eventually retire with. Alright then. One could
understand the search being quite lengthy and varied. But I can't comprehend
why people remain in long relationships that have no apparent end in mamage.
Explain to me, please, how can it be at all beneficial to stay with someone when
an enduring relationship Is a non-possibility. Why don't you break up, move on,
keep an eye out for a prospective life partner, instead of wasting years in a dead
end, go nowhere arrangement?
Well, flip side of the coin. Mark and I have been together for a year and a half now
(though admittedly, there have been periods where we... weren't.) Lying in bed
the other night, we got to discussing "us", and while we agreed that marriage
would never be an option, neither of us wanted to break up. And I'm still asking
myself, Vvhy not?' If we're not going to get married, then a split is inevitable...
why not get It over and done with now? Surely that would be much better for us in
the long run. That's what I don't understand.
At the tender age of eighteen, we're way too young to consider mamage anyway
(though it was a different story with the generation before us). It is beyond me,
why then do so many young people choose to maintain their participation in these
seemingly stagnant relationships... or maybe it's not. To the extent of my
experiences, I do love Mark, and I enjoy spending time with him, and the sex is
very good. Then again, maybe that's what it's all about. Not sex, or at least, not
just sex, but learning. Learning what it's like to love someone who's new to your
life, and building yourself back up when it's over and going on, stronger. Maybe
it's a practice run for when we do actually embark upon a lasting relationship.
What I would be Interested in discovering, is whether having a relationship like
this, at this age, will be beneficial to relationships in the long run, as opposed to
the experiences of those that are more "flighty" and enjoy a flurry of short interludes.
JodI Sanders
Rain does not fall, but that of mine
Storms are only of thoughts inside
Heavens reveal no truthful sign
Burden remains mine to decide
Tears un-cried
Commit to memory her eyes
They will no longer burn your heart
Let her voice echo through the mind
For it will cease to haunt your soul
Take souvenirs as recompense
Do not mourn the loss of her touch
Confide in stars that nightly burn
Solace once found in her is lost
Cry your remorseful tears alone
The tears you hid well from her sight
Rnd comfort in yesterdays passed
Tomorrow holds no love like this
Poems by Glang Do
Commerce I
JUST A SHORT CRAWL AWAY
RMIT
UNIVERSITY
Faculty of Biomedical and Health Sciences and Nursing
Bachelor Degree Program in Chinese Medicine
for the Year 2000
Applications are invited from persons who have completed a degree in medicine or an appropriate
health science discipline such as nursing, physiotherapy, occupational therapy, anatomy and
physiology, medical laboratory science etc, for places in a Ivt-o year (plus bndgmg studies}, fuli-time.
funded degree program m Chinese Medicine which includes Acupuncture
The final year of the program is to be offered in conjunction vi/ith Nanjing University of Traditional
Chinese Medicine, China and will be conducted primarily in China, for a clinical internship m the
hospital setting under supervision of qualified and experienced Chinese Medical Practitioners.
iRiSh BaR
Master of Applied Science (Acupuncture)
for the Year 2000
A Masters by coursework program is offered to primary health professionals with a relevant degree
or equivalent. This course offers a unique opportunity to undertake practical and relevant clinical
education and training in an integral Chinese and Western Medicai approach tapatient assessment
and acupuncture treatment.
Each year of this program includes four residential blocks of four days each for intensive theoretical
teaching and clmical instruction. Self directed learning packs include highly structured print
materials and guides are available
The three year, part-time, fee-paying course incorporates a Graduate Certificate for year one,
Graduate Diploma for year two and Masters for year three
Be among the Hrst to sample
//
the
DOOLEYS IRISH BAR / / at
all
new
Monash
Hotel
•Try one of our twelve beers on tap
• Select from our Irish pub grub menu (available 12 noon - 10pm
•daily)
For further informatton: Mrs Elena Trigg, Administration Officer, The Chinese Medicine Unit,
Bundoora West Campus, RMIT University, PO Box 71, Bundoora, Vic. 3083.
Telephone: (03) 9925 7746; Fax: (03) 9925 7178.
YOUR FUTURE STARTS HERE
DOOLY'S IRISH BAR
12 - LATE (3AM LICENCE)
2 0 7 7 D a n d e n o n g Road, C l a y t o n , p h o n e : 9 5 4 4 8 0 1 1
(on the h i g h w a y b e t w e e n W e l l i n g t o n Rd & Blackburn Rd)
creative writing
this
island
mine
powdemingen
As the new Powderfinger tour, known as the 'P2K' tour, swings into action, playing all capital
cities and even our own fair University, Lot's Wile's Nat Oliver got a chance to have a word to
Australia's leading exponents of pure Australian roci<.
The first thing I found myself asl<lng Powderfinger drummer, Jon Coghlll, was at»ut the
lyrics to the song 'Celebrity Head'. For anyone who doesn't know Powderfinger's
Internationalist album, this song is all about a sleazy music reviewer who uses their power for
evil rather than good and also who abuses their position to make their ego a great deal
bigger. I thus informed Jon that I had never before met him or any other member of the band
and was curious as to how they nailed me so precisely. Powderfinger's lyrics are generally
as precise and biting as any satirist could hope for. In the world of the musical double
entendre, Powderfinger's clarity sets them apart from the rest.
Each year the highlight of Student Theatre's play season takes place at The Beckett Theatre in
the CUB Malthouse, Southbank. In 1998, John Britton adapted and directed a spectacular
version of Julius Caesar in which twenty-two students explored, with alarming physicality, the
nature of "the public", while the politicians of the piece struggled valiantly to contain them.
This year John has re-invented Shakesfjeare's The Tempest to become This Island Inline. This
Island Mine is an exciting and energetic new play that re-examines the characters and themes
of Shakespeare's play It's new, it's challenging and it's completely accessible.
As with "Caesar", this year's production reflects the energetic and organic relationship that
the Student Theatre Department has fostered with the student body The philosophy of "open
access" productions, that has been introduced by Britton and Elliott, is tased upon maximising
access to those students who wish to make a commitment to being involved in a chosen
production. The level of experience throughout the cast is varied, some students laeing on the
verge of professional careers, whilst for others this is their first foray into theatre.
The cast is over forty students strong, coming from both Clayton and Caulf ield campuses as
well as from a wide range of disciplines including; Medicine, Engineering, Commerce, Ms,
Drama and Theatre Studies, and one PHD Science Student! Workshops tieing conducted as
part of the rehearsal process are exploring dance, contact improvisation and image making.
One would assume that the pressure vrould have been immense for their third altxjm. However, Director Hilary Elliott is looking to create a highly physical and visual production. /Another key
they didn't feel too much pressure during the creation of Internationalist, even though there aspect of the project is the team work involved. Elliott says, "everyone involved has a
was huge demand for the follow up to the '96 release. Double Allergic, to be superior to it. You commitment to the tselief that the ensemble is at the heart of the piece."
see Jon has this philosophy.. "Yeah, Sledge hit all the other bands and it will make you feel
really good about yourself, then you don't have to worry." But was Internationalist a happy or Prospero and his daughter Miranda live isolated in the heart of the central Australian desert. In
sad process for Powderfinger? "Well a bit of both I 'spose, there were happy times and
this dry and seemingly lifeless place, Prospero is given power by the spirits of the land to work
sad times and painful times."
on horticultural projects forthe good of mankind. With their assistance comes power and with
this power, the possibility to revenge himself on those that stole his fortune and made him an
Powderfinger have also recently released a new single, These Days which will feature in the outcast
new movie Two Hands with Bryan Brown. The process they took to write it was to watch the
scene over and over again and to write specifically for that scene.
Meanwhile, hisdaughter, Miranda, learns about life (well...sex and drugs anyway) underthe
tutorage of Calit>an, another outcast caught in his own cycle of loss, longing and revenge.
Compared to the small step up in qualltyof the songs from Parables for Wooden Ears to
Double Allergic, Jon found that the jump in popularity was perhaps not worthy of the acclaim Then, high overhead, a private plane flys, carrying the men and women who first destroyed
it received. "It was just a fluke so we really didn't think about anything like that - it just
young Prospero -the prospect of revenge beckons.
happened, it was lucky," Is it still a fluke now that you've done it again? "It could be but I'm not
sure... .maybe it's not a fluke. Oh yeah it's not, 'cos we just use those Triple M formulas now." For more information alDout this production call Student Theatre on 9905 3108. To book
tickets, call the CUB Malthouse on 9685 5111.
Powderfinger often go out of their way to avoid using bad language, 'Just to piss people
off". It kind of sums up the way the band waks, they seem to be making music for themselves, To keep in regular touch with Student Theatre activities (such as free workshops, auditions
and productions) as well as to be in the running for free film give aways etc, join the Student
therefore they won't stoop to cheap tricks to sell more albums. Jon cites Frenzal Rhomb's
song Get Fucked You Fucking Fuckwit] as a good example of what a few swear words can do Theatre E-mail list tiy visiting our weljpage at http://www.monash.edu.au/studenls/msa/stc.htm
or e-mail [email protected].
for your career.
The 'P2K' tour is swinging by Monash and you will see them at the Union Night on August 4*,
they are playing with Something For Kate so it will certainly prove to be a night not to miss.
c
o
(0
>
o
Fav Band//\rtist as a child? Michael Jackson.
Fav Band/Airtist as a teen? Toss up between Dead Kennedys and Radio
Blrdman,
Song to lay at your funeral? That Bette Midler song? LW: 'Wind Beneath My
Wings'? Yeah that's the one... or some Elton John (laughs).
Greatest album ever? Something by Queen... What's the one with 'We are the
Charhpions'?
Playstation or Nintendo? Nintendo but I've gone off it... I have to say PC games
now.
Boxers or Briefs? Wha... Briefs.
If you were a tree what tree would you be? A rose tree.
Favourite musician of all time (you can't say yourself)? AJihh, Bernie Fanning.
Favourite drummer? "Stevle Wonder, he sort of knows what's gonna work,
considering he vwote the songs. What he plays is perfect for the song."
[34]
CAF
MSA Student Theatre is proudly supported by the Monash Student Association Inc. and
MONSU Inc.
Season Dates for This Island Mine (Written by John Britton & Directed by Hilary Elliott) after
Shakespeare's The Tempest
Performing at the Beckett Theatre at the CUB Malthouse
8pm Wednesday 11th August Preview
8pm Thursday 12th August Opening
8pm Friday 13lh August
Matinee Saturday 14lh August
8pm Saturday 14th August
$15 Adults, $9 Concession.
Photos: Richard Crompton
something for
kate
l<
•y li.l
entertainment
ne Wp
Something for Kate's first album released in 1997, Elsewhere for Eight Minutes (a Stephen Hawking quote wouldn't you
know) created a great deal of fen/our in the musical establishment. The 'raw' musical sounds that the three members of SFK
produced were enough to see sales fly and a die hard bunch of fans soon folloviflng their careers closely Dempsey is already
touted as a rock god.
In 1999, complete with a new bassist Stephanie Ashworth (previously in Sandpit), SFK have released their latest,
Beautiful Sharks, for all the world. Lot's Wife spoke with Stephanie who has now been in the Ijand for one year. The album 'took
six to eight months to write and around three months to record'. Ivlost of the album was written while the band was in America,
where SFK was taking a break from their hard touring schedule. "We decided to go overseas to write the album so that we
wouldn't be distracted. We were exhausted, we'd been touring and touring and touring and Paul was going to Dublin to be
with his family and Ciint and I decided that we would have a break as well. I just really needed to get out of the country. We had
a holiday in LA and met up with Paul in Toronto and we wrote half the album there. We wrote the other half on the road".
With the relatively new line-up a sweeping change occurred that has given SFK a brand newcreative style. "I felt it was kind
of a natural progression, a new member is always going to change the sound of a band especially in a three-piece". Previously
Dempsey had held carte-blanche of the creative and musical styles that SFK had followed, he had said of himself "in terms
of writing I'd been the obsessive perfectionist coming in and telling everyone what to do, but the process has changed and
freed up since Stephanie joined the band".
This had been the first album for the new line up and the processes had changed a great deal. Ail members of the band feel
that this had opened up SFK to be much more focused on the music than they had been before. The trip to LA was also a
manner by which they allowed themselves room to work in. "It was just about not t>eing distracted 'cos when you have
something really focused to do like write an album, it's really easy to stay home every day and be distracted by phone calls
and friends and family and watching TV and that way you can squander your time away But if you remove yourself from your
environment, go somewhere completely different on the other side of the world...Clint started writing more too, we really
changed the process, there were no rules it was like a fresh new deal."
At this point our conversation slipped to the topic of Britney Spears and the problems her religious beliefs create considering
the marketing of her image. But we shan't go into that.
Something i was very interested to know was whether the band listens to similar music to the music they write... "No, not at all,
i listen to Pavement and a lot of stuff off the Matador label and experimental stuff. The new Blur album, Radlohead and I'm
going on a big Fieetwood Mac thing at the moment and Nell Young, always Neii Young." And unlike the scurrilous
rumours, that I started, SFK are very happy with the inclusion of Stephanie and they have become best friends. "Yeah we'd
been friends for a while, they'd asked me to join SFK a year early and I loved SFK but I still had Sandpit and couldn't do it",
but now Paui and Stephanie live together and Ciint lives dovwi the street. They are just as close off tour as when they're on
tour.
SFK is heading on another touring round of instores and album launches, they are currently touring with Powderf Inger and
will be at the Union Night at Monash on August 4". There are also copies of the new altxjm. Beautiful Sharks, to be given away
- to get yourself a copy, just come up to the Lot's Wife office and give us one good reason why sharks are Ijeautiful.
Nat Oliver
the buck stops here.
He hasn't sung since Grease, and he's hardly danced since
Saturday Night Fever (I don't think the little dance he did in
either Look Who's Talking or Pulp Fiction count). But John
Travolta will be doing both in Standing Room Only, in which he
will play a real life lounge singer, Jimmy Roselli. The film will be
directed by Gus Van Sant and will also star Travolta's
wife, Kelly Preston. The couple also look to be starring
together later in the year in the movie version of Annie L
Proulx's best seller The Shipping News.
Cameron Diaz, known for taking on slightly off-beat roles,
will be doing it again in Invisible Circus, in which she plays a
dead women. The film, which is shooting in France, is about
a young women who heads to Paris to find out what happened
to her sister (Diaz), who committed suicide there.
Jim Carrey has been a busy bee recently. He recently
wrapped The Man on the Ivloon, directed by Mllos Forman
(director of One Flew O^era Cuckoos Nest). After that he will
team up with Peter and Bob Farrelly, directors of Dumb
and Dumber, for Me, Myself and Irene, about a man with
multiple personality disorder Irene, the character who both
his personalities fall in love with, is yet to be cast. The other
two projects that he is to star in are the big screen remake of
the 60's sitcom Gef Smart and the Dr Suess movie How the
Grinch Stole Christmas, directed by Ron Howard.
Rumours are that Woody Alien, inspired by working on
kiddie movie Antz, will star in a movie, made by the afore
mentioned Farrely brothers called Stuck on You. The part
lined up for him is one half of a Siamese twin who, because
his sibling has the liver, is ageing at a faster rate. His other half
will be played by someone like Matt Damon.
High security was in force at the special screening of the
classic bikie film Stone and Stone Forever during the Sydney
Film Festival - but not to protect the people. A security guard
and Rottweiler were employed to watch hundreds of thousand
of dollars of motorbikes parked out the front of the cinema,
while their owners enjoyed the film inside. On its release in
1974, Stone and Stone Forever broke out box office records
across Australia.
Georgia Taft
SOUTHERN
#UTON
MCTORY
Australia. What Isetter place is there to make a movie? Ttiat seems to be the w a d in Hollywood at the moment. First there
was the announcement that George l^cas intends to shoot parts of the next two Star Wars films in the Fox Studios in
Sydney, then there was the world wide success of the film, The liAatrix, which was shot entirely in Sydney, both location
and studio. Somewhere in there we also had Jackie Chan shooting parts of his film in Melboume. Following all this was
the leak that another large studio complex is tDeing planned for just out of Brisbane, and now a new film from New Line
Cinema is rumoured to be shot here over the summer. Is it our smiles? Is It our beer? Perhaps it's just the fact that our
technical guys are just as good as those in LTK except for the fact that they don't get paid nearly as much. Lucas was
honest and when he signed the deal said that cost reduction was one of the main reasons he was here. Hey, look on the
bright side, our actors get more work and world wide exposure. Don't tielieve me? Try asking Hugo Weaving,
Belinda McClory, Paul Livingston, Bruce Spence, Damian Angei, and many other Australian actors that have
made it into films recently.,.
Dave McLay^
CLAYTON BED CENTRE
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A/like Myers:
Shagging H|
UJoy to the
Box Office
"I still believe that at any time the
no-talent police will come and
arrest me" - Mike Myers.
For those who haven't noticed the shagadelic return of
Austin Powers in The Spy Who Shagged Me, it's time to
crawl out from under that rock. The media hype and cult
status surrounding the Mike Myer's Bond piss-take have
reached new heights. Distributor New Line Cinema has
decided to cash in on the craze by auctioning off several
items from the sequel. Felicity Shagwell's (Heather
Graham) Union Jack emblazoned 1965 Corvette has
received an amazing offer of US $200,100- seven times
its actual value. Other items up for grabs are Dr. Evil's
trademark suit. Fat Bastard's deliveryman's uniform and
Mini-Me's toy grand piano.
lookalike sporting vast amounts of chest hair. The quote
"Do I make you horny, baby, do I?" was written on the
packaging. Toys 'R' Us have since removed this 'adult'
version of the doll and replaced it with a fully clothed
Powers and the new more appropriate slogan "Would
you fancy a shag?" (yeah, baby, that's so much better).
Furthermore, the New York Post has reported that Austin
Powers is set to be immortalised in 'toon kingdom'. New
Line Cinema has committed to an animated series of the
films. Apparently, Mike Myers has also been signed on
to provide the voices of Powers and his nemesis Dr. Evil.
So, why so much fuss over what some might describe as
just a crappy spy spoof? What is it about Austin Powers:
The Spy Who Shagged Me that has sucked audiences in?
Is there more to the movie's growing cult status than just
slick advertising and a groovy soundtrack? Melbourne
Uni English professor Simon During believes that the
film's mocking of 'Englishness' and Bond-era movies is
especially important and "will particularly appeal to the
ex-British colonies who feel that love-hate resentment [of
Britain]." (Source: The Age, 24/6/99, p.3)
From here Myers' career as an actor, writer and producer
took a downward turn with the complete failure of So I
Married An Axe Murderer (1993) at the box office. He
then quit Saturday Night Live and took a year off from
comedy. It was during this period that he hooked up with
Matthew Sweet and Susanna HofEs to form the 60s retro
band Ming Tea. The group played the L.A. club circuit
including Johnny Depp's Viper Room, where they became
the house band. It was here that Myers developed and
refined the Austin Powers character that he had first
stumbled upon while listening to Burt Bacharach in his
car. Eventually, Myers' wife, writer Robin Ruzan, grew so
sick of the Powers persona (imagine "Do I make you homy,
baby? Groovy, baby, yeah!" over breakfast) that she
cajoled him into writing a script.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1999)
became an unexpected hit. It not only provided Myers
with his first opportunity to play a serious role as a 70s
club owner in 54 (1998), but paved the way for this year's
cult sequel The Spy Who Shagged Me.
In its first week of opening in Australia, Austin Powers:
The Spy Who Shagged Me grossed $7.5 million at the box
office. Not only has Myer's latest cinematic venture
Feeling very pleased with himself (and the balance of his
displaced Star Wars: The Phantom Menace from its No, 1
bank account), Myers permanently resides in L.A. with
position, it has entered the all - time Top_ 5 first week
But just who is the man behind Powers, the mojo-weilding his wife and 3 dogs. Given the runaway success of the
earnings list. Amazingly, in the United States the sequel fighter of evil? How did the character come into existence, new movie (and the fact that Dr. Evil still isn't dead yet
has raked in more over one weekend (US $54.7 million) and is it merely incidental that Myers has more than a but merely cryogenically frozen) don't be surprised if
than its predecessor's entire takings (US $53.9 million).
little English blood in him? Mike Myers, 36, was bom another Austin Powers film appears in the near future to
and grew up in the suburbs of Toronto, Canada, the son suck us in all over again: Austin Powers: Just keeps
Sadly, not everyone agrees that Austin is simply of Liverpudlian ex-patriots. His father, an encyclopedia making us homy, baby, yeah!
smashing. Last May the Singaporean Board of Film salesman who died of Alzheimer's disease in 1991,
Censors decided the quintessentially British term 'shag'
nurtured the young Myers' love of British comedy with
was too racy for their liking and adjusted the movie's title Monty Python, Benny Hill, and Peter Sellers' films. His New projects for Mike Myers:
to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shioked Me. 'Shiok' is mother, a data processor, encouraged her young son's • An adaptation of Scooby Doo in which he'll star as
slang in Singapore for 'nice' or 'good' (work that one early flirtations with the small screen. By the age of 8,
Shaggy.
out?). Happily, the board has since come to its senses, Myers had already appeared in ads for Pepsi, Datsun and • The big-screen version of his Sprokets skit from
given the global monster success of the film, and reverted Nestle's Kit Kat. After graduating from high school, he
Saturday Night Live.
to the film's original title.
performed with Canada's distinguished Second City • A role with Janeane Garofalo in the comedy
Comedy Troupe for eight years. By 1989 Myers was living
McClinlock's Peach.
Additionally, an Atlanta mum, Tamatha Brannon, was in the States and had landed a gig on Saturday Night • A serious role in the Irish drama Pete's Meteor.
outraged and disgusted by the lewd spectacle of the Live. There he created many memorable skit characters • Two upcoming comedies It's a Dog's Life (Warner)
Austin Powers action figure. She happened to be including Wayne Campbell, who would provide the basis
and Just Like Me (New Line).
shopping in her local Toys 'R' Us store with her 11-year- of his 1992 starring vehicle and huge blockbuster Wayne's
old son when she sootted the semi-naked Mike Mvers World, and its not so successful 1993 seauel.
Carlv Millar
coming soon < < < <
IN THE CENTRE FOR DRAMA AND THEATRE STUDIES
mad forests
by caryl churchill
the musical
the hired man
the comedy of sisters
^
by
Shakespeare's little sister
- . watch
this space
for details
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.-»-
*> ^,
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•
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,
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strongw^limellow
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LW: Sorry. Earthcore is an event....
H: It's a fucking emulation of just outdoor parties that happened around the UK and around
Europe.
LW: Ok wen in Australia they tend to play trance, how did you feel tjeing a techno artist...
H: You know, they don't play trance! I'm not saying you're wrong, but they don't just play
trance, earthcore is just full of fucking hippies, you could play any form of music be it
electronic dance or rock and they would still dance because that what hippies are like.
LW: Don't you like hippies?
H: Oh no I love them (sarcastic laughter).
LW: They love you too.
LW: Um, alright I just want to ask about your exposure in Australia, you're one of a select
bunch who's getting quite a bit of airplay on Triple J an other youth networks, have you
noticed the crowds at your shows changing, does this bother you or excite you?
H: Well I've always played to a diverse crowd, you know, the dance music, the electronic
Lot's Wife's Russell Cohen and Tracy Richter spoke to the man behind the music.
dance musk; crowd, The audience will always come to see you cause they're quite loyal, txit
I do get a lot of diverse people from guitar based music and think oh fuck this guy's fucking
amazing, its like, WAKE UP AUSTRALIA THIS HAPPENED FUCKING FIREEN YEARS AGO
OVERSEAS!
It Is generally an axiom of the music business, whether In recording LW: Here, here.
or performing, that when at the bottom, you should be grateful and H: Oh no I do think it's great and there's a lot of focus on those kinds of audiences as well.
appreciative of any (free) publicity you attain. Obviously, not so In LW: Um I saw you play live about three weeks ago, I really enjoyed it. I was just wondering
the case of David Haberfeld (Honeysmack). David Is lucky that, as do you enjoy playing live or is there an attraction to the vinyl mixing style, growing up with hip
he puts It, 'the music Is faceless', because If he relied on his hop that appeals to you more?
personality and charisma to sell his music, his releases would H: Yeah I suppose live is you know kinda more of a challenge.
probably struggle to make the bargain bin at Sanity.
LW: We were talking about the dance scene in Melbourne in particular and it appears to us to
have exploded lately with heaps of big parties. Do you think it's the fashion, the drugs, or just
a wider acceptance of techno in general that's...
LW: Is that Honeysmack?
H: heah! If you print drugs, you're fucking idiots
H: Yeah.
LW: Oh really?
LW: Would you like to be called Dave?
H: Now drugs have got fucking nothing to do with any form of music what so ever!
LW: Hello.
LW: Have you tieen to a rave lately?
H: You're gonna have to come closer to the fucking telephone cause I can't hear shit!
H: Have I been to a rave lately? Well let me just fill you in a little t>it of information because you
LW: Um alright, the first question is about your first release on Kickin' records, that inspired
have just exposed to me your age. Ok now all forms of music pre-recorded music have
you, according to your press release to set up your own "empire". Was it more the creative
always has some kind of relation to drugs.
LW: I know that.
freedom you wanted or was it essentially the money or financial control?
H: Geez haven't we studied arts.
H: No form of fucking music, period, has anything to do with drugs. Now if you say that, 'it is
LW: Commerce actually.
damaging and it is inconect.
H: Commerce?
LW: So it's otjviously a sensitive issue for the techno scene.
LW: Science.
H: No because it's fucking dumb, and it's people like you who say that kind of stuff, and I
H: Um, fuck I don't know, I had a release on Kickin', and then you know they were a UK label know what you think, you don't mean any harm by it but it is very fucking damaging.
It was faceless music and the music I liked came from you know small homebased labels that LW: I'm just inquiring as to the popularity of the scene in Melbourne recently
I couldn't get on because it was basically groups of mates who started a label and u m . . .
H: You sound like some fucking community group or politician, saying that' oh yeah it's all
LW: Are you going to name names?
full of drugs", you know people...
H: But you wouldn't know them. It's irrelevant.
LW: I didn't say it was all full of drugs, I was just inquiring as to why you think there's been an
LW: Ok
explosion in the scene.
H: You know, we're talking about overseas labels, not local labels, there's nothing in Australia H: Because people are fucking ignorant.
LW: That's where I was going.
is there?
LW: No.
LW: Do you think it's drugs, fashion or music and if it's dnjgs or fashion then they're
obviously ignorant?
H: So I just thought hey, this is what I'm doing as well and began Smelly Records.
H: Yes.
LW: Excellent, I visited your web page, it's lovely.
H: Thank you.
LW: That's what I was asking.
LW: In the press release we got sent, it mentioned you grew up listening to hip hop and punk. H: God bless you.
LW: How old do you think I am?
Hip hop appears to be the most clear sonic influence on your tunes what particular hip hop
H: Doesn't matter now!
artists were you growing up with that influenced you?
H: Anything kinda like Arthur Baker and Africa Bambatta produced in late 70s and eariy
LW: And we've just got one final question, you're probably going to resent to the word rave
80s.
tseing used, but did you start as party goer and then get into the music or was it, you wanted
to be the DJ, you wanted to be worshiped?
LW: Yeah. Have you heard the new Electronic record?
H: No (laughing), you just told me, you just read from some press release I was listening to
H: Ah, I've heard just a very small snippet of it. Arthur Baker is the reason why we have
electronic dance music from like the seventies.
electronic dance music today
LW: Thanks for you time.
LW: Here Here
H: Natural progression.
LW: Just back to hip hop, was it more the scratching or the rhyming, or the image even that
LW: Natural progression.
left an impression on you as a youngster?
H: Thank you Russell, thank you Tracy.
H: No it was the fucking music, who gives a fuck about rappers, who gives a fuckatxjut you
LW: Thank you, bye.
know sneakers and vandalism.
LW: Ok, about earthcore, earthcore is traditionally tased on psychedelic trance, how dkJ you H: byyyyel
feel being predominantly an acid...
LW: (to each other) What a fucking prick!
H: It's not based on psychedelic trance.
''
\\\l
In
interview.
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more than just
secondary
Lot's Wife's Lou Cooper
caught up with
Jamie Fonti from Primary.
What does Disneyland, Irish citizenship and Caligula have to do with Aussie rock band
Primary? With their debut EP 'Vicious Precious' behind them and forthcoming debut album
This is the sound soon to be released, I spoke with Jamie Fonti, (keyboard player and
vocalist) in person about life and the band.
Primary, consisting of brothers Saen (bass) and Jamie Fonti and South African-born
Connie Mitchell (vocals) began in 1995 just as the brother's previous band. Caligula was
folding. Connie sang with Caligula on their last song before the band split, but it was not
until a chance meeting on a Sydney beach that Jamie and Connie met again about a year
later. Jamie told me that when he literally bumped into Connie on the beach and reminded
Connie that they were going to do some more work together Connie had thought that it was
just a week ago that they had last seen each other. So they left the beach together and went
back to his house, which was right near by and started recording together.
Due to Caligula's previous contract with Polygram, Primary first tjegan under the label.
After getting out of that arrangement they only needed to make one demo Isefore they got
signed to Warner Music Australia. Jamie noted that Warner provided a good niche into both
the Australian and international markets but that "record companies are a means to an end".
They started recording for the album in March of 1998, the first track recorded was Brazillian
but they released 'Vicious Precious' first. It sparked a lot of interest in the band. The recording
of the album came in stages partly due to the hectic schedule of Nick Launay who was busy
producing for Silverchair and other bands. Also, after the release of the two hit singles
'Vicious Precious' and 'This is the sound', the personal pressure to produce an album was
evident.
Jamie admits that they're new, original sounds, which have been compared to Skunk
Anansie, has made It hard for them to find support bands when touring. "We've found two
Sydney bands, Vapour Wear and World Ink that have their own sound that compliments
ours". The band is not part of the old Australian attitude such as Farnsey and Barnsey
which once dominated (and still does) the Australian charts. "We have an International feel.
Most of the interest expressed towards our CD has been from overseas. People are not
realising that we are Australian." Jamie admits that Australian audiences don't want to idylise
like American audiences do. And he is speaking from experience. Having lived in America
after completing his schooling, Jamie worked as a busboy in Disneyland earning $50 US per
week and relying on tips for survival. "There is a real sense of ambition in America - medical
costs are so expensive, when I was really sick with the flu it cost $130 US to see a doctor, not
to mention the cost of medication. People appreciate what they are listening to more over
there because it is a means of escape from reality for them."
The band intend to spend some time in the states, all three of them having Irish passports,
due to one of all three's parents being Irish. The added bonus for them Is that it makes it easier
for them to stay in the US. With the US calling. Primary has a big future in store. But they will
never forget their roots in Australia, one fond memory tieing their performance on everyone's
favourite Saturday night show. Hey Hey It's Saturday. Jamie told me that they were approached
after doing a gig at Revolver, about doing the show. "We thought why not? So we did it. They
are trying to be hip, having Aussie bands on, and if Custard can do it, so can we." When I
asked him how much miming was involved in their so-called "live" approach to music,
(especially after the Reef incident last year) he told me that the vocals are live, but the music
isnot. 'This is the Sound'is a good album. As Jamie puts it, "this is our second album first."
Pollyanna "Feeding Circles (Mushroom)
Well Pollyanna return with another fine track that is very.. .um.. .Pollyanna. Sitting in
the same vein as "Brittle Then Broken" it seems to just be sitting on it's laurels, and not
going anywhere fast. It gives the feeling of just re-writing old hits with no new inflictions.
But their cover of "Love Is A Battlefield" redeems them somewhat.
Pretenders "Human" (Wamer)
Ever wondered how it would feel to have your eyes pushed into your head by a
deranged elderly lady with diesel on her hands? Well sitting through this track is
something akin to that. Actually its more like being strapped to a chair with bamboo
shoots getting shoved under your nails, while the entire Barry Manilow collection is
played through head-phones strapped to your head.
Ash "Numbskull EP" (Infectious)
Though "Numbskull" is a fine track, the real reason to go and grab this EP is Ash's
covers of both Nirvana's "Blew" and Mudhoney's "Who You Drivin' Now?" Both of
these being hella cool, especially with the scratching throughout "Blew". But having the
S&M video for "Numbskull" put on the EP would have finished this off nicely Oh, there
are some live tracks here as well.
Seputtura "Tribus EP" (Roadrunner)
This Is a damn fine EP to get your hands on, mainly for the guest vocals of Mike
Patton (ex-Faith No More) on "The Waste". And with two remixes, two demos and
another new track, as well as the Patton collaboration, this is a ' must have' for fans of
Sepultura, and since it's a limited tour edition, I recommend getting this quick.
Single of the Edition.
Aphex Twin "Windowlicker" (Warp Records)
After scaring us stupid vwth "Come to Daddy", Aphex now takes a stab at the US R&B
sound with this new track, and using the imagery of his goateed head on a bikini girts
body, is making sure that some of us don't w^ant any lunch. But not only is "Windowlicker"
a slap in the face of the most boring genre to assail the ainwaves, but using an
unpronounceable, illogical mathematical equation as a song title on one of the b-sides
makes it one of the most radio-unfriendly singles to come out in a long time. Kill any
annoying people who get in your way for a copy
Anthony Brasher
GIVEAWAYS ^ ^ _ ^ ^ _ _ ^ . ^ ^ ^ _ _ _ _ ^ ^ ^ _ ^ _ _ _ ^ ^ ^
Our good friends at Roadrunner have beer kind enough to give us a wad of Slipknot
stickers to give away Don't know who Slipknot is? Well, they're the most insane band
to come out of the US in a long time. If you can imagine the roar that a nine-piece band
could produce (and not a single horn player in sight) then you might be coming close
to the brutality of Slipknot. So if you want a sticker, come up t'nd pester our lovely
editors, and prepare for the Slipknot assault in August.
What are you going to do for a job
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at UTS
Leading Australia in postgraduate
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R | I I J T*
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3
reV1ew s
DELORIS [music]
The first record by Melbourne band Deloris
is tops. Maybe that's all that needs to be
said, but I feel like crapping on - so I will.
Having been together for four years and
playing around the traps for the last two,
Deloris have certainly cemented their sound
since their humble beginnings in Frankston.
Their debut release 'Fraulein' comprises of
13 tracks which span over fifty minutes
covering more ground in one record than
most bands cover in a career The songs are
a combination of diverse and dynamic
songwriting, serving to keep listeners
intrigued. 'Gasolight' opens the record
strongly and continually develops until the
song reaches it's intense climax. '50 cotton
stars', one of the two super standout tracks,
continues in this fashion, twisting at every
break and travelling in search of that intense
finale. There is no waning in intensity during
the emotion-driven 'Death of a horse', a
transfixing song which grips you until the end
of It's seventh minute.
I suppose there will be those of you out there
looking for a comparison because you
"haven't heard the name Deiorls before, in
which case brilliant Melbourne band
Something For Kate immediately spring
to mind. Musical similarities exist also with
the likes of Archers Of Loaf, Sunny Day
Real Estate, Built To Spiil and Jets To
Brazil. Not bad company eh? Comparisons
aside, Deloris are a name of the future so
watch out for future gigs from these talented
lads. _ ^ ^ ^ _ ^ ^ _ _
James Bellas
SEIRRA QUEST FOR GLORY
V: DRAGON FIRE ACTION/
RPG [computer]
BEDROOMS AND
HALLWAYS [film]
One critic has referred to this film as 'hyperstylised'. That's one way to describe it (I'd
prefer to call it paper thin), though it does
deliver some sort of satisfaction. The action
centers around a gay man, Leo, played by
Kevin McKidd of Trainspotting fame. Leo
is interested in Brendan (James Purefoy),
a handsome Irishman who happens to be
straight, but is on the rebound from a
heterosexual relationship with Sally
(Jennnifer Ehle). Brendan decides to give
homosexuality a whirl after his seven year
hetero relationship. Other happenings in the
film consist of Leo's flatmate Darren, (Tom
Hollander) having adventurous sex with
Hugo Weaving's character, a smarmy
estate agent that loves to have sex in the
houses he's selling. The main comedy
comes from the "men's group" scenes where
Simon Callow performs well as a new-age
male counsellor The plot is convoluted,
setting up loose ends and tying up some somehow leaving the viewer with a feeling
that it was all basically contrived in order to
present gay men as average and normal
members of society. As an advert for
harmless homosexuality, this film is perfect
propaganda. As a film hov/ever, it falls just
short - just. Some interesting ideas in this
one, but a little lacking.
James Lyons
I really like this game, it's terrific. You can be
a Warrior, Thief, Magic User, or a Paladin. It's
about getting into the Right of Rulership to
be King. You need to pay 1,000 drachmas to
get in. You have to fight monsters to get it,
like Goons on land and Tritons under the sea.
In the Right of Rulership you need to fight the
Hydra. I like stealing things as the Thief best.
A couple of things I don't like are how you
have to go through the menu every time to
sell all the stuff in your inventory and how
much talking there is. I want to fight and steal
stuff, not talk. Saving and loading your game
is easy which is good. The pictures are fantastic and the animation is great. The jokes in
it are terrific too.
Nina Fernando-Bowen
Grade 1
ALEX LLOYD, live [music]
Widely known for his single 'Black
the Sun' featured on the Scream
2 soundtrack, Alex Lloyd's
presence in the Australian music
sceen is about to grow with his
forthcoming album Black ttie Sun.
I was lucky enough to see him play live at
Revolver on Thursday 9" July Judging by
the crowd's response, Alex Lloyd has a big
fan base here in Melbourne. His lyrics
combine a mix of love affair angst with a
positive outlook on life. His music is mellow
in some ways, but rock when he combines
an electronic sound which produces a big
overall sound. The atmosphere was fantastic - everybody was digging his vibe, most
notably when he played' Black the Sun' and
'Lucky Star'.Theywent off. Alex's live sound
INCOGNITO - NO TIME LIKE
THE FUTURE [music]
While technically a band, this UK acid jazz
outfit is the brainchild of Jean-Paul 'Bluey'
Maunick, who uses a host of musicians to
bring his music to life. Incognito developed
a sizeable following in Australia with the success of their 1993 album, 100 degrees and
rising. Indeed it appears that Incognito (as
with much of the acid jazz genre) has been
increasingly in vouge over the past few years.
If you don't recognise the name, chances
are you would have heard some of their
music on a car or a coffee commercial, or
while someone was cutting your hair.
As you tend to hear a lot more of this style of
music around, any new material would have
to be distinctive in order to warrant any sort
of attention. Incognito's previous album,
Beneath the surface, was highly criticised as
simply being too similar to their earlier releases, the same could be said for this album. There are little differences, Maunick
has made use of more electronic beats in an
attempt to go for a 'future' sounding album.
While this works to some extent, you tend to
loose the 'live appeal' that earlier Incognito
recordings had. Most of the songs, with the
exception of the opener 'Wild and Peaceful',
lack any sort of life, the groove is there but it
seems lost in the production. As usual, the
musicianship on this album is first class.
Maunick picks his players well, all impressing when their solo opportunities arise. Vocals are again shared, but the majority of the
work done by Maysa, whose voice at times
becomes a tad annoying.
All in all, this is a decent acid jazz album.
There is nothing here overly new, but if you
don't have an acid jazz album, you could
certainly do worse. To those looking for
something new and different, stay clear. Perhaps it is the whole genre rather than any
particular band, but it's all starting to sound a
bit the same. The only thing new and exciting
coming from acid jazz musicians seems to
tie in remixes, where these songs are given a
second life on the dance floor. For those
interested, try Incognito's remix cd, but
don't look to this album.
Mike Salvaris
013077'iiOyD
was powerful. Sometimes he mumbled his
lyrics, but overall his acoustic sound
reminded me of the legend Jeff Buckley.
He Is definitely worth checking out live.
Lou Cooper
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE,
Bell Shakespeare Company
[play]
The latest installment from the Bell
Shakespeare Company, The Merchant of
Venice, questions the merits of strict law
versus justice, of prejudice versus humanity.
A young man, Bassanio, asks friend,
Merchant Antonio for a loan. As Antonio does
not presently have the money, he seeks the
help of a wealthy Jew Shylock, intending to
have the money soon when his ships come
in from abroad. Shylock sees this as a great
irony considering Antonio had previously
made slanderous comments about him and
his people. Despite this, Shylock agrees to
lend him the money, the bond for which shall
be a pound of Antonio's flesh. Predictably,
Antonio's ships sink and he is left penniless
and in forfeiture of his agreement. Bassanio
returns with twice the sum from his new
wealthy bride, Portia, but Antonio is still put
on trial.
The controversial, and as some have said,
anti-Semitic nature of the opposing parties in
the play is one of the major themes, and is
worth discussing. Indeed the portrayal of
Shylock as the stereotypical Jewish
moneylender, which can be seen especially
by this production's choice of thick accent
and flashy costuming, does little to alleviate
such criticism. Shylock is portrayed as the
bad guy for his malevolence, his inability to
be merciful, and by simple virtue of his
opposition to the noble and true Antonio (as
he is described). What Shakespeare does
do however, and it is a saving grace, is
present a side of Antonio and his friends as
prejudiced also.
Themes aside. Bell Shakespeare's
Interpretation lacked something. The seeming
tragedy and pathos of Shylock's demise is
not fully expounded, and it seemed to rely
heavily on Antonio taking off his shirt and the
comic interjections of Gratiano. While he is at
times funny, it especially irked me that they
chose to portray him as the hotheaded,
leather clad, sexually demonstrative, young
Italian (complete with dark sunglasses). I
mean pleasel This is a sensitive play about
prejudice and cultural difference - enough
with the stereotypes. I suggest you read the
play because while this rendition was good,
it should have been much better.
Rory Lane
reviews
BEN FOLDS FIVE The Unauthorised Biography
of Reinhold Messner [music]
TRIPLE J HOTTEST 100,
volume 6 [music]
the song 'Narcolepsy', which is a great track
that sort of swirls around before coming to a
neck-breaking halt. From there on we have a
few songs reminiscent of BFF's past and
they are more than enjoyable, but for mine it
A lot has been made of the title of this album,
apparently BFF didn't know that there actually sort of goes a bit off track, but there's nothing
wrong w\t\ that. Ttiere is very definitely a rrxxe
was a Reinhold Messner before releasing
heavy tone to this album and it's nowhere
the allxim.,.pretty funny huh? Anyway inwhat
Is the follow up to their 1997 release, Whatever near as happy as their old stuff. Nor does it
have that humour that they are famous for.
and Ever Amen, BFF have hit back with the
new one. The first released single was 'Army'
Still, all in all a damn fine album and well worth
and Triple J's been playing quite a bit of the
your time. Try to have a listen to it and see
rest of the album.
what you think because as I mentioned it is
different. _ ^ ^ ^ ^ _ _ _ _
Ever since 'Brick', there has been a huge
interest in BFF. In that vein BFF, in my view
have slowed their music down quite a bit, it's
definitely got a very different feel than the
previous two albums. This one opens with
Mark Arness
INTO THE DARK By Victor
Keiieher [book]
The increasing fascination with the lives and
loves of the various incantations of Count
Dracula has produced books and movies
for many decades. The greatest of all would
have to be the tender love story written by
Bram Stoker himself. So, what would this
book have to offer that none of the other
Dracula traoks have not offered? Not much
really.
Written along the guidelines and folklore of
Stoker, the story is that of a character who
was not observed in Stokers book, but incorporates all the traditional and well know
MY NAiVIE IS JOE [film]
Stoker characters. We see the life and love
of the Count through the eyes of one of his
Thank Christ for independent film makers like
servant boys. Ox. Although it is a unique
Ken Loach who actually want to make their
perspective and one that Keiieher has comaudience think. Loach has a reputation as a
pleted without changing any of the original
director of gritty, visceral films such as
LadyBird, LadyBird, Raining Stones and Riff story - w e all know what will happen. Well, to
an extent.
Raff that examine the decay of the human
spirit in conditions of terrible moral and physical poverty.
My Name is Joe continues with this idea and
centers around the attempt of a recovering
alcoholic, Joe, to rebuild his life. Joe realises
that his self-renewal is dependent upon helping others to stay on the straight and narrow.
This leads him into contact with Sarah, a social worker. It also leads him to adopt the
cause of Liam, an young ex-heroin addict
with a wife and small child. Joe is now faced
with the possibility of making a new life with
Sarah or returning to his old one in order to
save Liam. Loach wants to remind us that in
the poorest suburbs of Glasgow altruism is
destructive, saving yourself is more important than saving others. In an environment
such as this you cannot possibly hope to
rebuild or redirect your life. Peter Mulian
and Louise Goodall are superb in the two
main roles and once again are an example of
the talent that Loach is able to attract. My
Name Is Joe is an excellent and forceful depiction of the hopeless battle to try and make
something out of the shitty life that you have
been left with,
1 Will King
OUT - X-Position, Roadrunner
[music]
When you think about the type of music to
come out of France, w/hat's the first thing you
think of? Air? Daft Punk, or some other
cheap disco rip-off? Do any metal bands
spring to mind? No. Well Out have exploded
from Northern France to change your perceptions of the snobby French and their
tastes in music.
Burning out like the bastard child of Fear
Factory and Korn, Out's debut X-PQS*on
fires off with the explosive "Lie No Limits"
giving an indication of the force and power to
come. Though comparisons to the afore
mentioned bands abound. Out have enough
new tricks up their sleeves to make these
Keiieher uses Ox, the character he has introduced as a way of altering images and story
lines for in Stoker's book it all ends with the
death of the Count. Yet, in 'Into the Dark' the
main character is mortal and did not die with
the count.
The imagery is vivid and the story engulfs
you. Although it has been said before, the
story is one you will find difficult to turn away
from as you want to be sure the ending we
are familiar with is the one that we are given.
The novel is unique in how the perception of
the characters are depicted, maybe even
courageous in the way the writer takes on
know personas and adds to them. It is different and recommended to the die-hard
vampire lover as the lore that is abided by in
the novel is along the old fashioned traditional lore.
Ren Braimis
similarities small and insignificant. Though it
is the impressive voice of Christophe
Lamouet that shines the most on this album,
going from the guttural roars of "Will" to the
almost machine-like falsetto of the title track,
Lamouet keeps the album above the mire of
also-rans that have come to populate the
metal scene as of late. And with the inclusion
of a samplist. Out have added a textural depth
that most bands would be pressed to
matched.
Perhaps the only let down on this album is
the highly disappointing "Bio Burger", a provegetarianism rant that would be better suited
on an Atari Teenage Riot album. Other
than this, X-F^siHon is something that will show
most people that the French can do better
than the boring disco sounds that they are
known for now.
Well, what can I say? It doesn't have
Offspring's 'Pretty Fly for a White Guy',
and that has to be a good thing. It may have
been number one on the countdown but the
most over-played song of the year will not
grace your speakers curtesy of this album.
Ttiis time it's 36 tracks that revertierate around
your room as you play air drums/guitar and
vocals. A fairly solid double CD from start to
finish, it really is a good way to remember the
summer that was 1998/9. With 14 of the top
20 songs making it on you will either be loving
it or hating it. As with the last 5 hottest 100
compilations this one manages to select
songs from all the way through the
countdown. With everything from Hole's
'Celebrity Skin' to Ben Folds Five's 'Brick',
from Pauline Pantsdown's 'I Don't Like It'
to 'Teardrop' by Massive Attack, this latest
Triple J instalment manages to appeal to
practically anyone's taste. On the whole a
well rounded compilation that is worth the
money you spend. It may not be the best
hottest 100 album, but it's close.
Dave H^'^Lay
COOKIES FORTUNE [film]
With splashes of hilarity, an interesting plot
and some fantastic acting, this is a film you
cannot ignore. Decrepit Jewel Mae 'Cookie'
Orcutt (Patricia Neal) is on the verge of
senility. Her 'fortune' is a necklace studded
with rubies and diamonds which her deceased
husband Buck won gambling. Cookie loyally
commits suicide lor Buck. The suicide turns
into a murder investigation as Cookie's nieces
Camille (Glenn Close) and Cora (Julianne
Moore) believe Cookie has committed a
shameful act. Cora's daughter Emma (Liv
Tyler) was Cookie's favourite but rejected
by Camille as a 'shame to society'. Willis
(Charles S. Dutton), Cookie's housemate,
is the prime suspect for murder. Jason (Chris
O'Donnell) is the incompetent deputy and
Emma's boyfriend.
I was surprised that I loved this film. So w4iat
if it isn't all part of some Hollywood hype.
Your fortune says see this film. Tfie casting is
superb and the acting is brilliant. I was
engrossed in it. However, the plot did take a
while to form. This is a must see.
Catherine Telfer
lAnthony Brasher
CAF
~m\
r e V1ews
NO BOUNDARIES - A benefit
for the Kosovar refugees
[music]
In times of turmoil, band benefits always raise
some much needed relief as well as allow
bands to help in the best way possible. The
album can be purchased at all music retailers
for around $29.95, but it's money well spent,
both for the relief of the refugees and for your
listening pleasure.
We start off with Pearl Jam who have two
songs, both fantastic, then there's a cool arse
remix of 'Freak on a Leash' by Korn. Then
there's Rage Against the Machine,
Bush, Jamiroquai, Ben Folds Five, and
Oasis. For those of you with underground
tastes there are the Indigo Girls, Alanis
Sean R Hayes is the charming, goofy star
of this gay romantic comedy that made
waves at the Sundance Film Festival. Billy
(Hayes) is an out-of-work photographer
vrfio is more concerned with finding Mr.Right
than a steady income. He falls for Gabriel
(Brad Rowe), a pretty coffee shop boy who
may or may not be gay Billy persuades
Gabriel to pose for his planned photo spread:
an artistic vision that involves a gay spoof on
the perfect Hollywood screen kisses of the
40s and 50s. The issue of Gabriel's sexual
orientation provides much of the film's romantic tension. Unfortunately, however,
Rowe occasionally seems ill at ease in his
role as the would-be lover
«iMt«-
^F
Nathanael Oliver
Some of us may have liked the
previous sounds of Texas - '1 don't
want a lover' and 'You can say what
you want.'. Well, this CD is more of the
sounds we love to hate. The CD's first
single, 'In our Lifetime' features in Hugh
Grant's latest work of artistic genius,
Notting Hill and the CD does not
progress from here. More popple
tunes and try-hard beats follow the
opening track. This CD is very
.«#)i!Ktffeft,
WHAT BECOMES OF THE
BROKEN HEARTED [film]
What becomes of the Brol^en Hearted is the
long awaited sequel to the emotionally confronting Once Were Warriors.
Yet, Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss is certainly
a visual treat. First-time director Tommy
O'Haver has stretched his limited production budget to new heights. His use of
widescreen and polaroid stills in his storytelling
as well as the outrageous Prisc/y/a-esque drag
queen dream sequences are clever and re^freshing. Hayes is excellent and the support• • i n g cast is very solid, however, this remains a
O'smair film on many levels. O'Haver's world
• P»is a narrow one: self-obsessed and intro. .spective. Ultimately, Screen Kiss is enjoyable,
^"^light froth without much substance.
flj
1 ^ — I
Carly Millar
o
n
[42]
We meet up with Jake, Beth, Nig and Sonny
a number of years after Beth took the children and walked out. With award winning director Ian Hume at the helm, and most of
the original cast reassembled, this film can't
go wrong. Temuera Morrison, Jake the
Muss, is back and he is brilliant. After all, this
sequel would not have gone ahead without
him on board,
This film is a must see for anyone who 'went
through' Once Were Warriors - bare in mind
it has an MA rating, unlike its R rated predecessor. Although it is still emotionally draining, to miss this film would be a mistake.
Amazing acting, a powerful plot and a feeling of 'knowing' the characters all contribute
CAP
This wonderful novel is set in the English country side in the late 18" century. A story about
two men - one who has a seating in life as a
Lord and his best friend who would do anything for him. Although they both grow and
learn together and from each other, it is the
inevitable introduction of the women in their
lives who prove that true friendships last
longer than a life time. In a tale of adventure,
catastrophe, enemies, friendships, love and
loss, bloody revenge and lasting love, this
book hias everything that one would want from
a tale of life and learning.
Wo Boundaries was created in support of
humanitarian relief efforts for the Kosovar
refugees forced from their homeland by the
war in the Balkans. So,
remembering that the
proceeds go to a good
cause, how can anyone go
past it and as far as
compilations go, it's pretty
damn good.
TEXAS - The Hush [music]
BILLY'S HOLLYWOOD
SCREEN KISS [film]
BLACK FOXES By Sonya
Hartnett [book]
Morissette and Tori Amos. Some older
players also turn up in Neil Young, Peter
Gabriel and Black Sabbath. Australian
bands are also represented by an excellent
new song, 'Trapdoor', byJebedlahand little
ol' Bic Runga is there somewhere as well.
We meet the main characters in their early
20's as they come to terms with the paths
they have chosen. Tyrone is a Lord, who is
orphaned and with enough wealth that he will
disappointing. At aglance it appears that there never be obligated to work for as long as he
is only one person in the band, the lead singer. lives. An attractive young man with a short
It may seem that to compensate for the
fused temper, his best friend is the timid and
crappiness of the music on this CD, the
well mannered young Oscar, who lives in the
publicists decided to provide us with ample
manner down the road.
vision of the chick lead singer - Sharleen
Spiteri. She provides us with face, full body
When Tyrones' cousin, Silke, comes to visit
stomach and wet tee-shirt tit shots on the CD
and the inevitable romance between Oscar
sleeve. I have to say that Texas' try-hard
and Silke begins, Tyrone feels rejected and
beats are trying to imitate the standard
forgotten. Believing that he has lost his friend
presented by Australia's very own living
for good, we are surprised at the strength of
legend, Kylie Minogue. Kylie's latest album,
their friendship when Tyrone's life is threatImpossible Princess set a precedent that
ened. However, when the tables are reversed
many female vocalists have tried to live up
and it is Tyrone's heart on the line as he falls
to. Basically Texas' Ttie Hush is very
for a mere servant girl who no one else aprepetitive in style and
proves of, the depth of Oscars devotion to
content. I really tried to
his friend spans beyond his lifetime.
like it because I have
liked their previous
It is well written and one of those books that
commercial success,
you, as the reader, will find hard to put down.
but it is poor chick pop.
The book is divided into three parts or phases
of their lives, and as we journey through the
Lou Cooper maturing of Tyrone and Oscar we see how
and why they are endeared to each other As
they travel from their town to England, face
hate, anger and revenge and their travels to
Italy We see that as they grow up they will
inevitably grow apart, but never lose their true
to this film that will keep you thinking for weeks
friendship^
after you leave the cinema.
m
Ren Braimis
Claire Hammond
reviews
EPISODE 1 - PHANTOM
MENACE [film]
Apparently Lucas' ideal audience was the
eight year old. I have seen higher calibre acting in Neighbours (no offence Pinhead), letter editing in a porno and more content in a
Naomi Wolff book. Sorry girls, but the
combined charisma of Ewan and Rob Roy
would struggle to rival that of John Howard.
On a positive note, I walked in tired but walked
out refreshed. Episode 1 - an insult to eight
year olds.
B
I I I I Michelle Coleman
SOMETHING FOR KATE Beautiful Sharks [music]
THE DEBATE CONTINUES...
Levithan Niall's aged gaze wandered around
his small private chamber, but mist-blue eyes
hazed with thought saw nothing. Tattered wall
hangings, once bright murals of his youth,
faded into the dark grains of the ochre wood
paneling laid over large stone blocks, thick
even here in the Fortress of the Tide. The
single chair in the room - average weight,
high-backed, and supporting two armrests
-was as invisible to him as the two scattered
tables completing the furnishings. Even the
man kneeling before him on the great water
drop set in the wide wooden planks had
escaped his thoughts for the monr«nt, though
few would dare ignore him. Sighing, he leaned
forward, bringing his thoughts back to the
scrolls and maps laid out before him,
grimacing as his old bones creal'.ed in
xotest. Niall's skin, as thin as the papery
more so, and now all I have to wait for is
more of the brilliant live performances that
Something For Kate are offering over the
next month.
Ben Cas
"Whatever you want" from a band,
Something For Kate have the ability to
deliver. After one EP and a brilliant debut
album. Elsewhere For 8 Minutes, the
Ivlelbourne trio have shifted their focus from
aggression to a more quiet and moody
journey with their second major release
Beautiful Sharks.
Long awaited by fans, expectations were high
based on performances of their new material at live shows throughout the year, and it is
a great relief to finally be able to put this
album In the CD player and enjoy ail it has to
offer.
While not nearly as innovative as Elsewhere,
Beautiful Sharks is accessible in every
respect, and has provided a medium for the
strong song writing abilities of the whole
band. Previously the task had been left to
guitaristA'Ocalist Paul Dempsey.
From the hard-hitting first single 'Electricity'
to the beautiful 'Anchorman', Something
For Kate still show signs of the creative ability
which has set them apart from other bands
today, this facet perhaps most ably
demonstrated by the curiously floating 'Big
Screen Television'.
Something For Kate play with Powderfinger
and Icecream Hands at Monash University
on August 4.
parchment before him, hang tightly to thin
bones and muscles. But there was nothing
of frailty to him, for none had held his office
for as long. Scanning the scroll, musing over
its relevance, he kindly addressed the man.
"So, my Child, you deem your news worthy
of my presence?" His mouth quirked up in a
smile, as if he found his own question
amusing.
Fliant, the man kneeling on the tear drop, still
wore the grime of travel, having had no time
to clean himself In light of his news. "Father of
Tides, I am but your humble servant, I wished
no disrespect." Unsteady hands brushed his
insignia in a private prayer. "Father, a child
has been discovered. He was trapped
beneath the Tidal Gate for nigh on four days."
The slight smile on Levithan's face vanished
slovi4y, lips curled downvi/ards in displeasure.
"You mean, my Child, that you come to tell
me of a dead child? It is a grievous loss, I
know, but it hardly warrants my personal
REEF - Rides [music]
Well I'm not gonna be holding back with this
one. Reef are one of my favourite bands
and I 've been waiting a fair while for this new
album. For weeks we had been teased with
'I've Got Something To Say' and now that the
album's hit, it's palpitation time.
Reef's albums are the sort of music that are
just unclassifiable. They are a jumble of all
sorts of styles and energies. Ttieir music is
made up of a lot of soul and beauty but still
manages to be cutting and forthright. In my
experience Reef's albums take a lot of
listening before you really get into them, but
once that's done there's no stopping you.
They were in the country not long ago and
played one of the best live shows I've seen,
(they're hopefully touring before the end of
the year). They have had a great deal of
mainstream interest with their 'Place Your
Hands', and Triple Ivl have got their filthy little
hands on them now so they won't be ours
for long. So I guess you'd better get into
them now before every fellah with a flannle's
gotten all the copies,
Seriously, Rides is a damn good album, it's
still on par with their previous releases,
Replenish and Glow and they haven't faded
one bit. They remain one of the most downto-earth bands around and really go all out
for the punters It's damn good to see.
Nathanael Oliver
This album deserves more than a judgement
based on a first listen. Even listening now, the
strengths of the songs come through even
attention."
Tiny beads of sweet formed at the top of the
messenger's head despite the late winter chill,
shining under the warm glow of the twin
hearths at either end of the room. "Father,
this is different." His pupils dilated, he took a
deep breath, "The boy is alive."
A heavy blanket of silence coated the room.
Frorr} seedy desert spaceports and
lush tropical forests to underwater cities surrounded by the blackest depths
of space spans a tale that became
legend.
That legend mas Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.
Warren Markham
TOM WAITS - Mule Variations
[music]
Nobody has heard from this mild-mannered
fellow for quite some time, six years in fact. In
the interim he has been acting in major films
like Robert Altman's Shortcuts and,
although he is a remarkably attractive guy,
he makes a remarkably good actor and also
makes some seriously remarkable music.
On this album each song is so wrell developed
and evocative that any listener with half an
imagination can clearly see the wald that Tom
Waits creates in his music. Apart from this,
Walts' music is so bluesy and groovy that
it's almost hard to imagine that it is written by
the world's most famous barfly Waits has
been around forever, in his career he has
made many albums in his self-created
'husky' style of music. Many of his previous
recordings were a lot less rhythmic than this
album and were definitely more lyrics based.
This album adds an enormous amount of
musical support from many famous blues
musicians, but (and this is just to freak people
out) Les Claypool, of Primus fame, is also
one of the main musical contributors.
This is one of the funkiest and soulful releases
of this year. This album gets right through the Q
layers of crap that commercialism h a s ^
excreted and catches the listener with t h e ^
power of real music, with all the power thatOI
music can create, to conclude. Six years i s ^ ^
six years too long.
Chris B"^'
o
CAF
[43]
3
world cup
encounters
It's been roughly a month, but as far as I'm
concerned no true Aussie sports fan, whether they
be of the playing or couch potato variety, could avoid
the roller-coaster of emotions that a certain event
was able to inspire. I am, of course, referring to the
Cricket World Cup. During the past weeks almost
every superiative that could possibly be used, has
been used, in an effort to extrapolate the efforts of
the Australian one-day side. Celebrations in honour
of the team have ranged from ticker tape parades in
Melbourne and Sydney to John Howard's Prime
Minister's Dinner at Parliament House in Canberra.
As a part of the Lot's M/ifeteam I was invited to the
Prime Minister's function with the press entourage.
Well, to be totally honest that isn't exactly true. On
the day in question an unescorted visitor pass
happened to be in my possession, basically allowing
me access to any part of Pariiament House. Upon
leaming of the cricketer's dinner function I took the
chance to gate crash the event, hoping that the visitor
passes would deter any unwanted attention. Getting
to the point, all I can say is that security within
Australia's seat of government isn't all it's cracked
up to be.
So what do you say when you've managed to insert
yourself into a conversation between Steve Waugh
and Tim Webster? After a quick snapshot (can't miss
the photo opportunity) I had just enough time to ask
how his 130 not out against South Africa felt. He
told me that It was like a childhood dream, coming
in to bat with what is only the slimmest hope of victory
resting on your shoulders. To hit 130 off 120 balls in
such an important match was fantastic, not just for
him but for the whole team, it was an unforgetable
moment. In the next instant Waugh and the rest of
the team were whisked onto the stage to accept the
congratulations of John Howard and Kim Beazley.
[44]
CAF
Passing over that somewhat boring and cllched
interiude and with the mingling of cricketers and
guests continuing for a while longer before they
disappeared for dinner, I managed to collar a few
more members of the team into giving me a minute
of their time for some souvenir photos of course. I
overheard McGrath talking about all the attention
and how great it was. At that stage he turned towards
us and told us that in England no one realised how
much we were being supported back home. The
last week of celebration had been one of the most
tiring for him. He mentioned that the whole team
was very tired, and that all the boys were looking
forward to leading more of a normal life.
It was obvious that they were all exhausted from the
week's celebrations yet they still took the time without
hesitation to talk, or to take photos, or to sign
autographs with your average sports fan such as
myself. Continuing with the conversations I asked
Bevan whether the team ever felt they didn't have a
chance. He told me that after the loss to New
Zealand they were at there lowest. But they never
gave up. He told me that they knew that they had
just made it harder for themselves to win the cup
and so they would just have to wort< that much more
harder.
Finally, Shane Warne was close enough to talk to
without a small gathering attached to him like velcro.
A glass of champagne in one hand and a broad,
larrikinish grin on his face, Wame appeared the most
at ease with the public interest and intercourse. After
SPORI,
introducing myself (and, of course, getting a photo
taken with the great one) I spoke to Warne about
his bowling and his apparent return to form. He said
that he's been bowling well for a while now. He was
a little stiff after the [shoulder] operation and it took
a while to find his rhythm. The topic of the Herschelle
Gibbs dismissal was also discussed. It was one of
the best leg breaks of all time. Pitching well outside
leg it took the bail from off-stump. To those less
literate in the sport it is sufficient to say that Warne
caused the ball to turn practically 90 degrees to bowl
Gibbs out. Wame seemed proud. It was one of the
better games in his career he thought, the best in a
fair while that's for sure.
A few more snatched conversations with Ricky
Ponting, Mark Waugh and Adam Gilchrist and the
team were shuffled into their dinner function. Three
weeks on I still feel chuffed to have met a few of
them and to have grabbed a brief insight into their
personalities. So to the Worid Champions a hearty
congratulations to an everyday group of guys who
have done Australia proud.
Raph Colella
be told not to throw flares because their club gets fined?
I suppose thirteen year olds aren't that cluey anyway.
Speaking of those that aren't usually cluey, one must also
wonder how incompetent security guards can be twcause
every person and bag was thoroughly searchedl
strong^(SUmellow
POOIV
Good luck to South Melbourne as they attempt to qualify
for the World Club Championships to be held in Brazil at
the end of the year. South must defeat teams from other
Oceanea countries, including teams from football giants,
New Zealand, Solomon Islands, Vanuatu and Fiji.
It is not a common occurence that a sporting team will
achieve a super feat like winning three highly competitive
championships. Manchester United exceeded all
expectations by achieving the Incredible feat of winning
the English FA Cup, the European Champions Cup and
the English Premier League. The FA Cup is the most
sought-after domestic trophy in England as every team
from every division competes for the glory of playing off
at Wembley in front of the world's watchful eyes. The
European Champions Cup/League (whatever you call it)
features the elite of the elite, from European club
competitions playing off against each other to achieve
European domination and the honour of being the best
team in Europe. Finally, the English Premier League Title
is a gruelling test of team-character, overall consistency,
and squad-quality in just under forty games against the
best teams in England.
Manchester United won all three competitions and is
arguably the best club team in the world, despite what
the FIFA World Rankings tell you (Sao Paulo of Brazil
are no. 1 in this). The sheer volume of games they played
in the latter part of the season is astounding and Alex
Fergusson should be made king for his efforts.
The achievements of Bayem Munich cannot go without
mention as they almost won a treble too (German Cup
and League Champions), despite falling short against
Manchester United in one of the most intense and exciting
games in living memory.
In other major European Leagues, Feyenoord were
crowned Dutch champs (oh my God, Ajax didn't winll),
Genk took out the exciting Belgian title race, Olympiakos
were far too strong in Greece, and Bordeaux scraped
home in France. Rangers won the usual two horse race
in Scotland, and in Italy, AC Milan returned to glory as
did Barcelona in Spain.
In the highly competitive Australian league. South
Melbourne battled it out at an overcast Olympic Park
against Sydney United with the Sydney travellers one-nil
up after a boring first half. South Melbourne were a
different side after the break (maybe a scotch at half time
did it?) because super-sub John Anastasladls gave
South the lead within 15 seconds of coming onto the park
after captain Paul Trimboli had levelled the scores. An
incrediljle last ten or so minutes saw South further
increase their lead before Sydney gave some hope to
their army of travelling supporters by scoring once more.
But South Melbourne were not to be denied back to back
Championships and their third National Championship
of the nineties, further highlighting that they are now the
greatest force in Australian football. Surely A n g
Postecoglou must be a candidate for Australian national
Coach after this great feat. For those interested, the flare
count was 20-19, with Sydney supporters winning (or
losing, because the clubs get fined when their supporters
throw flares). How many times must dick-head supporters
We now anticipate upcoming friendly matches, with the
Socceroos being pitted up against Manchester United,
and Brazil. Hopefully the Manchester United games will
be more interesting than the Worid Allstars Game. One
of my informers assures me the atmosphere was
incredibly electric in Sydney (cheers Matty) despite the
presence of some shitty band with some shitty lead-singer
providing pre-match 'entertainment'. For the record, the
pitch was an absolute disgrace to Australian sport as was
the turn-out of just under 90,000. It's little wonder really,
why Melbourne is the sporting capital of the Southern
hemisphere.
Even during the soccer break, the sporting public will
enjoy this upcoming feast of football and you can read all
of my unbiased opinions right here in Lof'sll
cheers,
James Bellas
rOQVY
wmo
The winners from rounds 6 - 1 5 can
now come up to the office to collect
their prizes.
AGROTIS, ANNE
BOHTE. JOHN
CHALMOS. DAVID
CHISHOLM, MARK
COULTER, IAN
DAVENPORT, GIL
DEMETRIOS, GEORGE
JONGEBLOED, MARC
KHAN, ASIF
LEVETAN, DOUGLAS
MCBETH, ADAM
MCKEE. CORRIE
OLDHAM, GORDON
ROBINSON, DAN
SANCHEZ, D.
SATTLER, TOMOKO
SAUNDERS, A N D R E W
SCOTT, IAN
SHEERS, NICK
SIERAK, MATTHEW
SWEETERS, BEVAN
THATCHER, M
WALLIS. EDWARD
Roiindl?
MBnbySpiv
RHaHl2M
CounaiMlYMVL.
PnlMrail OifDk: _
Melbourne
St Kilda
Draw
Essendon
Kangaroos
Draw
Geelong
W. Bulldogs
Draw
Sydney
Richmond
Draw
Fremantle
Port Ad.
Draw
Adelaide
Hawthorn
Draw
Brisbane
West Coast
Draw
Collingwood
Carlton
Draw
strong^'Msmeilow
0
Round 18
ratmbySnni
MAuMvllHii
Bi
HMW:
in-
PhPiW'
Coiirsand Vaar:
PnlerredDlink:
Kangaroo;>
Richmond
Draw
Melbourne
Geelong
Draw
St Kilda
Adelaide
Draw
Sydney
Essendon
Draw
W. Coast
Collingwood
Draw
Port Ad.
Brisbane
Draw
Cariton
W. Bulldogs
Draw
Hawthorn
Fremantle
Draw
strong -imellow
^ ^ 1
Round 19
(^^Sfffj
1 ^ ^ ^
raonkiSpMi
FiUnlliigDstBili
Hi
Mann:
ID-
PflMlf!
Course and)roar
PrafanvdDrInk
Essendon
W. Coast
Draw
Geelong
Port Ad.
Draw
Richmond
Collingwood
Draw
Kangaroos
Sydney
Draw
Fremantle
Carlton
Draw
Adelaide
Brisbane
Draw
Hawthorn
Melbourne
Draw
W. Bulldogs
St Kilda
Draw
stron^H ^j-mollow
strong^©(^mellow strong^@Qmellow
^AT
145]
SPORTS
green week: the extreme
sport of champions
1
m
Many have come, many have played - but in the end there is only one Queen and one King. The aim
- to be the fastest drinker, to have the strongest stomach, to reconsume anything you have regrettably
regurgitated. And why? Why has this tradition of Green-lovin' been adamant, not only for the past
twelve years, but for as long as Monash has stood with honour? Because as the representative of the
leaders of tomorrow, we have to act like the leaders of today - moronic idiots who make rash decisions
while over-powered by the desire to drink, run, eat and scavenge so that they can be the best.
Green Week originated many eons ago when the Neanderthal man still walked Monash (in the 1960's)
and like the event It was based on, the champions came from all around to compete. In teams
representing intelligence, fitness, cunning and the engineers they would battle for one week a year to
gain the title as Winners of Farm Week.
Way back in those days, the Clayton campus was in a remote area of country as suburbia had not yet
overrun the area. As time progressed and the campus grew. Green Week was bom. So, why Green
Week? The mythology surrounding the name is as ludicrous as the answer is. Many say it is because
of the green lawn that the events were held on. Others believe that it is because of the main event of
Iguana Bashing. However, to those in the know, it is said to be because the Beer God sent the magical
parcel to be used for the events to Monash lovingly wrapped in a green package. As a form of homage
we named the entire sporting event after the gift.
Like the Olympics, Green Week is an amalgamation of many hours of training at the Uni. Bar, the
Netting Hill Pub or Doleys. However, in recent times the great's have admitted to training at home.
They learn to consume a can in one gulp, to run and drink, to swim In their vomit and to fall to the floor
with grace. The events are many, all offered to both men and women of the Monash species.
So, as we prepare for the Southern Hemisphere's most prestigious event, what can we look forward to? Drinking,
stupidity, nudity and the average Neanderthal to emerge and prove that University Is the greatest time of our lives.
So, with wamn love and tenderness we pay homage to the past King and Queen of Green Week as they offer us
the most entertaining five days of second semester (not counting election week).
Ren Bralmis
MONASH KEI-SHIN-KAN
KARATE-DO
The Monash Kei Shin Kan Karate-Do Club has been in
operation for over twenty seven years. During this time,
many students have studied the martial art of Kei Shin
Kan Karate-Do under the instruction ofSensei Takasaka,
Director of Kei Shin Kan Karate-Do in Australia.
Training sessions consist of warm ups, basic striking and
blocking techniques, application of techniques through
non-contact prcairanged attacks with appropriate defence
techniques, kata (or forins) to enable practice of selfdefence techniques alone, weapons and sparring for
advanced students.
The club also participates in social functions during the
year and a copy of the program of social functions may be
obtained from the club.
Training times are Tuesdays and Thursdays between
12:45pm and 2:15pm in the Martial Arts Hall at the Sports
and Recreation Centre, and we welcome any visitors who
may wish to observe our training sessions. A demonstration
will also be held during Monash Open Day on Sunday 8th
of August at 11am. If you have any inquiries please feel
free to contact the club captain, Michael Jones on 9544
1364.
D O U G ELLIS
SWIMMING POOL
sports a n d r e c r e a t i o n centre
^ Two pools means there's always
a lane f o r y o u !
fer aerobic
twimming lessons
MGiUna,%pa & steamroorrt
fixi aHybsidised prices for students
f w i m w e a r & beachwear at l o w prices
www.monash.edu,au/sra/pool.htm
Enquiries: 9905 4115 9905 4113
^:
, ,««e(<ul W ' ™ ' * ' ' ' ' ^ '
„
Ntw HB« »•'<*
For Australia's most qualified source of business information, see The Australian Rnancial Review at your Unl Newsagent, and sharpen your view.
jHH
FIXAIVCfAniEVIEW
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