Issue - University of Sydney Union

ISSUE 06, 2015 / FREE
UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY UNION
13 AUGUST - 26 SEPTEMBER
COMEDY-MUSIC-SILLINESS
ORANGE IS THE NEW
BLACKBOARD: EDUCATION
AND SOCIAL WORK REVUE
Thur 20 – Sat 22 August
7pm, Reginald Theatre
EWEROVISION: VET REVUE
Sat 26 September
7pm, Camden Campus
PULSE FICTION: MED REVUE
DARWINS AND DRAGONS:
SCIENCE REVUE
Thur 27 – Sat 29 August
7pm, York Theatre
GUYS AND DOLLAR BILLS:
COMMERCE REVUE
Thur 27 – Sat 29 August
7.30pm, Everest Theatre
Thur 3 – Sat 5 September
7pm, York Theatre
WE’LL COME UP WITH
SOMETHING LATER, THIS IS
JUST A WORKING TITLE:
ARCHITECTURE REVUE:
Thur 13 – Sat 15 August
7pm, Reginald Theatre
THE ARTS OF WAR:
ARTS REVUE
QUEENGINEERS AND
ENGOBEERS
ENGINEERING REVUE:
STRAIGHT TO HELL:
QUEER REVUE
MIDSOMER MERGERS:
LAW REVUE
Thur 13 – Sat 15 August
7.30pm, York Theatre
Thur 27 – Sat 29 August
8pm, Reginald Theatre
Thur 3 September
7.30pm, Manning Bar
Wed 19 – Sat 22 August
7.30pm, York Theatre
BOOK HERE NOW
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14/07/15 2:55 PM
BULL | EDITORIAL & CONTRIBUTORS
EDITORS’ LETTER
Hello and welcome to another issue
of BULL. What is this, now? Issue
Five? Issue Six? We don’t know. Time
gets pretty nebulous under our fort
of assessment outlines at this time
of semester.
After all of the great feedback he
got on his student housing project,
editor Tom Joyner is back with a new
photo essay, this time talking to twins
on campus about what it was like to
lose the lead roles in The Parent Trap
to a single human being.
Further in, Steph Paglia wants to
know why McDonalds never called
her back, Max Hall spent some time
Quasimodo-ing in the Quad and
Katie Davern chats to pastry chef
extraordinaire Andy Bowdy.
We’ve even got something for the
mums who found this in their child’s
room when they were cleaning it: The
Clovelly Colouring Book. Crayons at
the ready.
Love,
BULL eds x
EDITORS
Bernadette Anvia
Shaza Barbar
Tom Joyner
Sam Langford
Ada Lee
Mary Ward
CONTRIBUTORS
Raz Badiyan
Anja Bless
Ashley Chegwyn
Katie Davern
Max Hall
Rebecca Karpin
Justine Landis-Hanley
COVER ARTWORK
Peter Barclay
Liam Luangrathrajasombat
Stephanie Paglia
Chelsea Paisley
Aidan Quinn
Emily Shen
Katarzyna Aurora Sprengel
Katie Stow
Michael Sun
Barbara Taylor
Bella Wiggs
Alison Xiao
PUBLICATIONS
MANAGER
Robert North
DESIGN MANAGER
Robyn Matthews
DESIGN
Peta Harris
Simon Macias
07
The views expressed in
this publication are not
necessarily the views of
the USU.
The information contained
within this edition of BULL
was correct at the time
of printing.
CONTACT
[email protected]
bullmag.com.au
/bullmag
/USUbullmag
BULL | CONTENTS
FEATURES
Doubling Up 1 2
#Instafamous 20
Wi-fi: Internet Addiction 28
Crowd Fund Me 32
REGULARS
Shutter Up 0 9
What’s On 1 0
Gigs 11
Interview 1 8
The Time I Tried 19
Taste 24
Go 25
Moove 27
Arts 31
Fiction 35
Vox Pops & Campus Chatter 36
Campus Fashion 37
Steer the Herd 38
Have A Cow & Locking Horns 39
Classic Countdown 40
Reviews 41
Club Confidential 42
Student Spotlight & USWho 43
Udder Bullshit 44
Puzzles 46
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY
The USU acknowledges the Cadigal People of the Eora Nation as the traditional
owners of the land we meet on today. The USU recognises that the land belonging
to these peoples was never ceded, given up, bought, or sold. We pay our respects to the
Aboriginal Elders both past and present and extend this acknowledgement to any
other Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander people here with us.
08
BULL | SHUTTER UP
SUITCASE STAIRCASE
PHOTOGRAPHER: ANJA BLESS
Camera: Sony a5100,
16-50mm lens
09
BULL | WHAT’S ON
WHAT’S ON
For the full calendar of events – head to usu.edu.au and click the calendar
MON
WEEK 4 (AUGUST)
17
WEEK 5 (AUGUST)
24
WED
THU
FRI
18
19
20
21
Sunset Jazz
Hermanns Bar, 6pm
Theatresports ®
Showcase
Manning Bar
Band Comp Grand Final
Manning Bar, 7pm
FUNCH
Eastern Avenue, 12-2pm
ASTA + Montaigne
Manning Bar, 8pm
Roller Derby
Peter Forsyth
Auditorium, 4-6pm
GeoSoc Camping Trip
Diamond Head Campground
25
26
27
28
Radical Sex & Consent
Week
Sunset Jazz
Hermann’s Bar, 6pm
Radical Sex & Consent
Week
FUNCH
Eastern Avenue, 12-2pm
Radical Sex & Consent
Week
Science Revue
Seymour Centre, 7pm
Radical Sex & Consent
Week
Commerce Revue
Seymour Centre, 7.30pm
Education Revue
Seymour Centre, 7pm
Queer Revue
Seymour Centre, 8pm
WEEK 6 (SEPTEMBER)
31
1
2
3
Sunset Jazz
Hermann’s Bar, 6pm
FUNCH
Eastern Avenue, 12-2pm
Theatresports ®
Manning Bar, 1-2pm
Engineering Revue
Manning Bar, 7.30pm
4
Med Revue
Seymour Centre, 7pm
WEEK 7 (SEPTEMBER)
7
14
WEEK 8 (SEPTEMBER)
TUE
8
9
10
Sunset Jazz
Hermann’s Bar, 6pm
FUNCH
Eastern Avenue, 12-2pm
The Smith Street Band
Manning Bar, 8pm
Theatresports ®
Manning Bar, 1-2pm
15
16
17
Sunset Jazz
Hermann’s Bar, 6pm
FUNCH
Eastern Avenue, 12-2pm
10
11
18
BULL | GIG GUIDE
MUST S E E :
ASTA
+ MONTAIGNE + SUIIX
THURSDAY 20 AUGUST 8PM
MANNING BAR // 18+
$15 ACCESS // $25 +BF GENERAL
TICKETS AT MANNINGBAR.COM //
ACCESS DESK IN MANNING HOUSE
Tasmanian singer songwriter Asta
hits Manning Bar on August 20
as part of her Dynamite tour with
her soulful vocals and electronic
production. Asta has earned a
reputation for scintillating live
performances at Soundscape and
Pyramid Rock Festival, Falls Festival
as well as national supports for the
likes of Birds Of Tokyo and Angus
Stone. Supported by Montaigne and
SUIIX, this show is one not to miss.
EVERY WEEK
MONDAY
Live Music
3-5pm, Manning Bar
C O M I N G U P. . .
Monday Movies
from 6pm, Manning Bar
19 JUL BAND COMP GRAND FINAL
Free popcorn with James
Squire or soft drink
purchase
from 4pm, Manning Bar
20 AUG ASTA + MONTAIGNE
$4 Darling Pale Ale and
5 Seed Cider
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
22 AUG YOB
28 AUG MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK
TUESDAY
29 AUG REGURGITATOR
Live Music
3-5pm, Manning Bar
4 SEPT DUB FX
Trivia
5-6pm, Manning Bar
$7.50 Schnitty and Chips
with James Squire or soft
drink purchase
from 4pm, Manning Bar
5 SEPT A PLACE TO BURY STRANGERS
9 SEPT THE SMITH STREET BAND
$4 Darling Pale Ale and
5 Seed Cider
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
11 SEPT TUMBLEWEED
manningbar.com
#manningbar
/manningbarsydney
@manningbar
11
THURSDAY
Theatresports®
1-2pm, Manning Bar
Live Music
3-5pm, Manning Bar
$7.50 Burger of choice with
James Squire or soft drink
purchase
from 4pm, Manning Bar
$4 Darling Pale Ale and
5 Seed Cider
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
Sunset Jazz
6-8.30pm, Hermann’s Bar
Mixed Tape Local Bands
and DJs
from 4pm, Hermann’s Bar
WEDNESDAY
FRIDAY
Live Music
3-5pm, Manning Bar
Live Music
3-5pm, Manning Bar
½ price Carved Up Special
with James Squire or soft
drink purchase
from 4pm, Manning Bar
$5.50 Beef Nachos with
James Squire or soft drink
purchase
from 4pm, Manning Bar
$4 Darling Pale Ale and
5 Seed Cider
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
$4 Darling Pale Ale and
5 Seed Cider
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
BULL | FEATURE
DOUBLING
UP
WORDS & IMAGES BY TOM JOYNER
ADDITIONAL WORDS BY SAM LANGFORD.
When most people think of twins,
they think of tiny kids in identical
outfits, the ones you always see
together. And then those twins hit
adulthood, and they no longer dress
the same, and you’re left wondering
how that guy from your lecture got
across campus so quickly and found
time to change.
In this issue, we talked to a bunch of
twins at uni to see what twin life is
like outside the nest.
12
BULL | FEATURE
1 . L A N A A ND B EL L A
Lana and Bella have always been two halves of a whole.
The longest they’ve ever spent apart is five days, and the thought
of prolonged separation is visibly distressing for the pair. “Yeah,
I just got anxious thinking about that,” says Lana, turning to her
sister. “I would always expect you to be there. I’d just feel alone.”
Both are wearing near identical clothes out of choice. “When we
were little, Mum would dress one of us in one set of clothes and
the other in a different set of clothes, and then one of us would
say, ‘No, I want to wear what she’s wearing,’ so we’d have to be
the same,” says Bella. “That’s why I think a lot of people dress
twins in the same clothes. It just saves argument, not because it’s
13
BULL | FEATURE
2 . C A S E Y A ND A L I
“We tried to make up our own secret language,” says Casey, looking at Ali.
“We thought it was pretty cool, but we were only six.” Growing up sideby-side has meant constantly dealing with their peers’ difficulty in telling
them apart. “I didn’t mind people calling me Ali,” says Casey. “I mean come
on, we look the same.” Ali frowns: “I don’t like people asking me what the
differences are because it never ends well,” she says. “It always sounds like
you’re talking yourself up or putting her down.” Casey recalls a time when
she scolded a friend for eschewing the bus home from school at night,
telling her off as ‘lazy’. “You guys are oblivious to the fact that you are
always together,” her irked friend had said in response. Casey grins: “It kind
of made me think maybe we need to be a little more self aware.”
14
3 . A I SL INN A ND C I A R A
“Ciara’s absolutely my best friend,” says Aislinn. “We have
no secrets.” Ciara nods: “Ash is like the only person in the
world who I can tell everything to. Absolutely anything.”
Ciara explains that even a major disagreement, or worse,
a heated fight, is forgotten within minutes: “We talk
every day - sometimes it’s about secrets or personal stuff
or sometimes it’s not about anything.” Like many twins,
it’s hard for them to imagine their lives reaching a point
where they might be separated, if not indefinitely, then
at least for a few months. “I’d be lost without her,” says
Aislinn. “Womb to tomb.”
15
BULL | FEATURE
4. B EN A ND N AT H A N
“A great lecturer and friend, Dr Ollie Watts, put
it this way: being a twin is a unique resource,”
says Ben, who is studying fine arts along with
his brother Nathan. “It’s sounds a bit clinical but
it’s true.” An early rivalry between the pair soon
developed into a close working and collaborative
relationship in young adulthood. “We spent a lot
of time apart and actually had quite a rivalry or
hatred even towards each other in high school,”
says Nathan. Ben cuts in: “It came down to
Nathan being the really smart one and he was
also a little bit more introverted, and I was the
more sporty one because I was known for tennis
or being a sprinter.” As they matured, they soon
realised the advantages of being a twin. “There’s
a lot of things you can do as an artist or in your
everyday life where being a twin really helps.”
16
BULL | FEATURE
5 . Z EN A A ND R A N A
When Zena moved out with her husband in 2013, Rana
was left heartbroken. “I’ve got to say, it was the hardest
time of my life thus far. We were actually both at very,
very low points in our lives because of it.” Even though
Zena and her husband were living just 10 minutes away,
the twins’ lives fell apart. “My relationship suffered a
lot because of our separation anxiety. She lost heaps
of weight,” she says. Rana laughs now, though: “It was
like she was married to her husband, but she was also
married to me.” Both Zena and Rana speak of their
difficulty in explaining their close relationship to
others. “People can’t empathise,” says Zena. “You will
never understand unless you’re a twin.”
17
BULL | INTERVIEW
THREE MULES & A MONK
WORDS BY BERNADETTE ANVIA
IMAGE BY JENNIFER JAY
“This way of life goes back thousands of years; it’s where
we want to be and gives me energy to live. Being anywhere
else makes no sense to us.”
There is a man journeying across America on foot.
In another life, he had a name, a house, and employment
The Monk has long known that the natural world provides
him with more happiness than the man-made world ever
could. For him, the only low point of his travels is seeing
the destruction wrought by humanity.
as a tree cutter. But that life ended 13 years ago.
Now he has three mules, a national Declaration of
Emergency (DOE), and a sizeable number of website
and Facebook followers.
“I become frustrated, angry and sad when I see the
destruction all around us,” says The Monk.
He calls himself The Monk – a fitting name considering
his humble lifestyle and his devotion to the protection of
the natural world. Since retiring from work, The Monk
and his three mules – Little Girl, Lady and Who Dee Doo
– have been traversing the United States, carrying their
DOE to people around the country. Their DOE is an urge
for humanity to care for the environment.
“We recently travelled through the Mendocino National
Forest and it appears that half the trees are dead.”
He does not find his travel with the mules lonely, nor does
he regret his relative isolation from the rest of society.
“The last thing on my mind is loneliness,” says The Monk.
“The Natural World – our Earth, our earth’s resources, our
ecosystems – are being rapidly destroyed by humans and
the spreading, sprawling metropolis,” says The Monk.
“I’m never lonely because I’m never alone – I have three
mules with me and talk to many nice people throughout
the day.”
“We need to slow down development, overconsumption
and spend our energy and go back to basics, starting with
a multi-use interstate trail system for those who do not
travel with motorised vehicles, and also providing people
with the freedom to stop and rest outdoors for the night.”
Despite his rejection of the modern materialistic lifestyle,
The Monk has made one single concession: Internet.
He regularly updates his Facebook, website and blog on
his tablet whenever there is an accessible Wi-Fi or 4G
network. The Internet has allowed The Monk and his
mules to spread the message of their DOE far wider than
their legs could ever take it.
At the age of 67, The Monk has adopted a lifestyle most
people would find hard to emulate. Each day the group
can travel anywhere between eight and 32 kilometres,
depending on weather conditions and the welcome
provided by local residents. In the afternoon, they break
their journey and seek any shelter afforded to them by the
surrounding landscape.
“One of the goals is to raise awareness, so that people will
be motivated and take up a lifestyle that money can’t buy,”
says The Monk.
“Imagine 1000 monks with an army of mules walking
purposely all day every day, staying connected to nature
and bringing this awareness to stop the destruction of our
planet earth.”
“We live this way because it is in our bones – I look
forward to waking up every day, and having the freedom
to move in any direction,” says The Monk.
18
BULL | THE TIME I TRIED...
NO MIRRORS
I’m notorious for hogging mirrors. Ask any of
my acquaintances and they’ll tell you that I stare
at my reflection for too long, trying to perfect
my outfit and searching for any facial blemish I
can cover up with concealer. Determined not to
WORDS AND IMAGE BY ASHLEY CHEGWYN
let my preoccupation with appearance dominate
my life, I decided to avoid gazing at any reflective
surfaces for an entire day.
My day began optimistically. I wasn’t tempted to
sneak a peek at myself in my bathroom mirror or
blank phone screen as I prepared for work. Fearing
foundation streaks and jagged eyeliner, I opted for
no make-up. I blindly ran a brush through my hair
and threw on an outfit I knew was flattering before
I headed out into the world.
It was liberating at first. Not worrying about how
I looked put me in a good mood – or maybe my
20-minute sleep in was responsible for that. As it
turns out, putting on makeup and styling my hair
consumes a substantial amount of my time in
the morning.
At this point, I began to wonder why I ever bothered
to put effort into my appearance in the first place.
People at my local shopping centre, including my
workmates, didn’t seem to notice any difference.
However, the bliss only lasted for an hour at most.
Panic started to rise when I felt a bump on my
cheek and I became convinced a blemish the size
of Mount Vesuvius was now dominating my face.
A gentle breeze blew my hair around, messing up
my part, and trying to fix it felt like trying to do a
jigsaw puzzle blindfolded.
Not to mention, avoiding any reflective surface was
a challenge. The shopping centre I work at is filled
with glass and mirrors, including long metallic
walls that cover storefronts. I must have looked
particularly odd covering my face and walking
quickly away whenever I came close to catching a
glimpse of myself.
I caved a few hours later and looked into a mirror,
fearing I looked like I’d been lost in the woods
for days. As it turns out, there was no Mount
Vesuvius on my face, my hair was perfectly parted
and I miraculously didn’t even have any pieces of
seaweed stuck to my teeth as a remnant from lunch.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that you can
definitely live without looking in the mirror, or at
the very least, looking at it less.
19
BULL | FEATURE
#INSTAFAMOUS
WORDS BY MICHAEL SUN | IMAGES VIA @ _BELINDALIANA & @ ALISHAYI
Celebrity is an enigma; Insta-fame even more so. It’s a
platform for macaron connoisseurs, lifestyle blogger
extraordinaires, Birkenstock apologists and aesthetic
perfectionists alike. So how do users become so known on
Instagram? We interviewed two #instafamous students,
Belinda Liana (@_belindaliana_, 9.2K followers) and
Alisha Thornley (@alishayi, 31.7K followers) to find out
what makes them tick.
WHEN DI D YOU START USI N G I N STA G RA M A N D WHY ?
BL: I started using it as a social platform and almost like a folio of
my personal style and my photography, such as creating concepts; it
could be based on colour, mood or a story around times or an outfit.
At the very beginning, around two and half years ago, I did it for fun
but then after doing it for a year I started getting jobs out of it.
AT: I started using Instagram almost two and a half years ago. I used
to be a BlackBerry user so I would be borrowing my mum’s iPhone
to upload photos and engage with people! I’ve always taken arguably
pointless photos of my day-to-day, so Instagram ended up being
a really good outlet for that.
HOW DI D YOU AMASS SO M A N Y F O L LO WE RS?
BL: I’ve been asked this question several times and I actually don’t
have an answer! I honestly don’t know how, but I do know that I have
amazing and really supportive followers, friends and family who
continually push me and support me.
AT: I’ve somehow managed to convince people that I’m a lot cooler
than I actually am.
DO YOU HAV E A POSTI N G STRATE G Y ?
BL: My posting strategy is trying to scatter the themes such as food,
lifestyle, flat lay and outfit. This allows your feed to have a better
flow when your viewers are looking at your profile as a whole: very
important as it’s visible to everyone so you never know when a PR
agency stumbles across your feed. Also I try to have similar tones
in my pictures so it has a consistency. When it comes to posting
frequency I try to be as active as possible but without spamming,
usually leaving a minimum of five hours between posts.
AT: I post regularly and try not to post too many of the same
consecutive content pieces – if I posted five images of feet or fries in
a row people could start assuming that I’m either: a) a centipede,
or; b) on the verge of a cardiac arrest.
20
BULL | FEATURE
“I’ve somehow
managed to
convince people
that I’m a lot
cooler than I
actually am.”
@alishayi
21
BULL | FEATURE
WHAT I S I T LI KE B EI N G SO P O P U L A R O N I N STA G RA M ?
DO YOU GET RECOGN I SED AT E VEN TS/ O N THE STRE E TS?
BL: It’s been a really, really great ride so far. This year I was invited
to Mercedes Benz Fashion Week, which is a massive milestone for
me considering I was working it two years ago. I have met amazing
people through Instagram and have been lucky enough to go to
really cool events like T2, Ladurée – press showings and trialling new
food – and being able to view collections! I do get recognised on the
streets by some people, but I get so awkward! However I’m so grateful
that they have so many kind words to say.
AT: Yeah definitely, I�ve had people ask for photos or messages saying
they saw me somewhere but were too nervous to say hi. It’s so surreal
considering I’m honestly the biggest goofball and about as ordinary
as your next door neighbour (unless you’re living next door to
Al Pacino).
WHAT DO YOU THI N K ARE SO M E O F THE B I G G EST B EN E F I TS O F
B EI N G I N STA- FAMOUS? D O YO U G E T SO M E F RE E P E RKS A N D
SAMPLES OUT OF I T?
BL: [Laughs] Yes! I get the opportunity to work creatively with
a wide range of brands. I love seeing two separate brands being
able to produce one final thing that looks so cohesive. Also working
closely with brands and building that relationship is something
I really love! Plus, I got to make my own chai recently with T2.
AT: Definitely the networks and opportunities I’ve had. Some of
my closest friends I’ve met through Instagram and I’ve been lucky
enough to do some really cool things with brands – like particular
events and travel.
DO YOU EN JOY THE FAME?
BL: I wouldn’t say it’s fame, but I do enjoy the fact that people are
enjoying and recognising my work!
AT: Same! I wouldn’t call it fame but I’m definitely thankful for
the opportunities.
AN Y ADV I CE FOR N EW I N STA G RA M M E RS LO O K I N G TO G A I N
A FOLLOW I N G?
BL: Honestly, be nice and be real! Post what you like; don’t be scared
to be creative and wear what you want! Being honest and real is such
a big one; don’t post content that isn’t what you love.
AT: Don’t look at it like a numbers game, just find a niche and do
you. Content aside, I think engaging with others is pretty important
because unless you’re putting yourself out there, how do you expect
people to discover you?
DO YOU SEE YOURSELF EVE R M O VI N G A WAY F RO M I N STA G RA M ,
OR DO YOU THI N K I T'LL C O N TI N U E TO B E YO U R M A I N F O RM
OF COMMUN I CATI ON ?
BL: I honestly think Instagram is only going to get bigger so it will
always be my primary social platform. Also I hope to be working in
social media/PR in the future so I think I’ll always have it in my life.
AT: I think the digital landscape is constantly changing and there
will always be something new – but for now I’m happy.
22
BULL | FEATURE
“I honestly
think Instagram
is only going to
get bigger.”
@_belindaliana_
23
BULL | TASTE
COME WITH
ANDY
BOWDY,
AND YOU'LL BE IN
A WORLD OF PURE
IMAGINATION
WORDS BY KATIE DAVERN
Fast forward a few years and leap back to Australia when
restaurant owner Gregory Llewellyn offered Bowden a job
at his new restaurant, Hartsyard. It was under Llewellyn’s
watch that Bowden was able to experiment with cakes, and
introduce Sydney to the joys of soft serve ice cream, for
which both Bowden and the restaurant are now famous.
Citrus flavours, a little bit of savoury, preferably
“No one was doing soft serves as a dessert in a restaurant
before. It kind of took a lot to convince Greg,” he says.
cheesecake in form, and – very importantly – nothing
too heavy.
“I asked and I asked and I asked every day for about six
months. I was like ‘C’mon, It’s gonna work, it’s gonna
be awesome!”
All are must-have components for the favourite cake
of pastry chef Andrew Bowden. Taking a glance at his
gloriously decadent creations, you would never guess it.
As the demand for Bowden’s cakes grew to be bigger than
what Hartsyard could manage, Bowden realised it was
time to leave.
Bowden has recently left Hartsyard, a hatted restaurant in
Enmore, and is now creating bespoke, out-of-this-world
towers of cakes under the name Andy Bowdy Pastry.
“At the end of the day, Hartsyard is not a cake shop, it’s a
restaurant,” he says.
Bowden says that his grandmother’s cooking was probably
where his love for desserts developed.
“And when people start associating my cake with
Hartsyard, it’d either mean I stop making cakes all
together or I go out on my own.”
“I was young, I wasn’t really excited about seeing my Nan;
I was excited about seeing what she made me,” he laughs.
However the love of eating desserts didn’t at first translate
into a love of making desserts.
Now, Bowden has a working space in a Gelato Messina
factory, a strong social media following and a firm place
in the local sweet scene, wowing Sydney sweet lovers at
the Sweet Street and Underbelly Arts Festivals, and with a
crafty collaboration with Gelato Messina.
“I don’t think I ever wanted to help [bake], I was only ever
interested in licking the wooden spoon after it’d all been
done,” Bowden admits.
“As much as I cooked at home, I just never saw myself
working in a kitchen.”
Whatever we can expect from Andy Bowdy Pastry in the
future, I am assured by Bowden that, at the very least, it
will taste darn fantastic.
It was only after two unsuccessful attempts at university
that Bowden settled in London and, with a sneaky bit of
CV “adjustment”, managed to convince a restaurant that
he had worked in kitchens before and most definitely
knew how to cook.
24
BULL | GO
CARDBOARD HEARTS
IN BANGKOK’S STRIP CLUBS
WORDS BY ADA LEE | IMAGE BY ROBERT SCHRADER
It’s midnight in Bangkok and the streets are alive.
A male friend and I decide to visit a strip club together.
We walk through Patpong, a supposedly more savoury red
light district aimed at tourists. Foreign men wander the
streets. Neon signs of female figures and club names like
“Super Pussy” blare out from the darkness.
In another club, cardboard love hearts dangle from the
ceiling. A young Japanese man is getting grinded on by
a woman. They’re kissing passionately in the middle of
the bar.
The women are friendly. One asks if I’m American.
“You look American,” she says. “I lived in America for five
years.” Another dressed in red lingerie comes up to talk to
me. Twenty minutes later, she’s dancing completely naked
on stage.
Thai men line the sidewalks with menus, offering a “ping
pong show” for only AUD$4. I say it sounds interesting,
before being informed it has less to do with competitive
sports and more to do with women shooting ping pong
balls out of their vaginas.
The women earn money according to how many drinks
the men buy them. Most are from poor villages in Northeast Thailand and have come to Bangkok to earn money
for their children at home. One woman says she’s a media
student who left her office job because it was too boring.
Curtains decorate go-go bar entrances. Through the cracks,
we catch glimpses of sparsely dressed women dancing
around poles.
Before long, I find myself sitting on a couch with a beer and
watching ten women rolling their hips to upbeat electronic
music. Some look my age.
These bars are fairly respectable by the city’s standards.
But elsewhere in darker back alleys, there are women sold
into sex shops, often fronted as karaoke bars.
To my left sits an older woman who I imagine is the
manager; the mother hen of the young dancing women.
Perhaps it used to be her on that stage.
Whatever this industry is selling – sex, love, companionship
– there are women who choose it, women who choose it
because circumstances dictate they have to, women who
are deceived into it and women who are forced into it.
To my right is a wrinkly Chinese man – likely in his 70s
– with the grin of a 13-year-old boy discovering porn for
the first time. You can tell he’s wealthy by the way the most
beautiful women flock towards him. His hands are firmly
plastered on their bums.
It’s 2am and the bar is closing. The cardboard love hearts
are being removed from the ceiling. Outside, the menu
board men are packing up on the emptying street.
We walk home, leaving the neon lights and cardboard
hearts behind us.
25
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BULL | MOOVE
Before he started training to become a stuntman,
Matthew Gościniak wanted to be a sniper. He attributes his
change in career dream to having “realised what killing
people really is”. I have never dared to ask what exactly he
meant by that.
As Matthew was growing up (and growing muscles at an
alarming rate), it became increasingly obvious that his
passion for the extreme was more than a passing interest.
Once, in Barcelona, I saw him jump from a 20 metre high wall
straight onto the roof of a passing bus. As a spectator, I felt
both petrified and ecstatic.
Regardless, when Matthew’s friends learned about his
career choice they laughed or shrugged indifferently – they
didn’t believe it could happen. Even his own mother wouldn’t
let him train, hurling accusatory remarks and forbidding
him from undertaking any risky physical activities.
However, he remained intractable about his goal. Whenever
possible, he would sneak out to the woods near his home
and secretly exercise.
Today, Matthew is an official member at the adept level of the
Polish online stuntmen database, and has already succeeded
in pursuing a number of job opportunities. He recently
travelled to Potsdam in Germany to gain experience on the
set of a Spielberg film Bridge of Spies (2015).
Now he is studying in Wrocław, Poland, far from his small
home town of Witaszyce, and takes special classes at the Stunt
School 13 to hone his skills. Between attending them twice a
week and training at home, he leads the quiet life of a third
year robotics student. He works hard to make time for both
responsibilities and hobbies, though admits that “reconciling
these two can be difficult at times.”
“Ultimately, I would love to come to Australia and take
a course for stuntmen near Sydney. I’ve heard it’s fantastic
and the level of it is really high,” he says.
With steep fees and difficult training, not to mention the
travel involved, working with the Australian Stunt Academy
would be a challenge.
Unsurprisingly, though, Matthew is up for it.
27
I
DO
ALL
MY
OWN
STUNTS
WORDS BY KATARZYNA AURORA SPRENGEL
IMAGE BY THE ACTION ACADEMY
BULL | FEATURE
28
BULL | FEATURE
WI-FI NETWORK:
INTERNET
ADDICTION
WORDS BY ALISON XIAO AND MAX HALL
In February of this year, a Chinese teenager
chopped off his hand in an attempt to cure his
Internet addiction.
In 2010, University of Sydney researchers investigated
Australian addiction to Internet porn. Dr Gomathi
Sitharthan, Deputy Coordinator of the University of
Sydney’s Graduate Program in Sexual Health, found that
some 70 per cent of men and 30 per cent of women access
Internet porn.
China is the first country to label Internet addiction as a
clinical disorder. The government considers one in 10 of
its minors to be addicted to the Internet. To help combat
this epidemic, the country has designed military style boot
camps to help wean their children off the web. Beijing is
also home to a rehab centre where Chinese teenagers are
taken through a process known as “deprogramming”.
According to Dr Sitharthan, heavy porn usage is a
“hush-hush topic” that carries a heightened risk of harm
because it is “readily available, it is anonymous, and it
is affordable”.
However, Internet addiction is by no means solely an
issue for the Chinese government. In South Korea, the
government has implemented legislation which prevents
children from accessing online gaming after midnight,
famously dubbed the “Cinderella Act”.
The research results found that easy access to porn and
the privacy afforded to consumers in their own home
meant some participants spent 16 to 18 hours a day doing
nothing but watching pornographic material.
These are the days of push notifications and endless
streams of content. As our lives have become increasingly
reliant on the need for a constant Internet connection for
work, recreation and relationships, the phenomenon of
Internet addiction is of growing concern.
Whether excessive use of the Internet ought to be
considered an addiction of the same type as alcohol
or gambling is the subject of significant contention
among psychologists. Traditionally, a mental disorder
or addiction is recognised as requiring treatment (and
funding) when it is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders, the psychologists’ bible
published by the American Psychological Association.
29
BULL | FEATURE
The most recent edition, published in 2013, included an
appendix that called for further research into “Internet
use disorder”. The appendix indicated that future
editions would consider adding Internet addiction as an
official disorder.
Proponents
of
officially
recognising Internet addiction
point to research conducted
at Cambridge that compared
the brain activity of patients
who compulsively watched
porn with that of average users.
Dr Valerie Voon found that the
brain activity and behaviors
of compulsive pornography
users tended to “mirror those of
drug addicts”.
These findings suggest that
there may be similarities in
the mental state of traditional
addicts and heavy Internet
users, but the Cambridge
researchers acknowledge that
the research is far from complete.
DESPITE ONGOING
ACADEMIC DISAGREEMENT,
COMMUNITY GROUPS,
INTERNET USERS AND
GOVERNMENTS HAVE
BEGUN TO ADDRESS THE
PERCEIVED INDIVIDUAL
AND SOCIAL EFFECTS OF
EXCESSIVE INTERNET USE.
“[It is] unclear whether an
individual’s apparent addiction
is the cause of behaviour, or
a symptom itself of another
disorder,” says Murphy.
Despite ongoing academic
disagreement,
community
groups, Internet users and
governments
have
begun
to address the perceived
individual and social effects
of excessive Internet use. Internet self-help forums such
as Reddit’s NoFap and NoSurf subreddits have emerged
as spaces where heavy Internet users support each other
in easing their habits. In the offline world, The Cabin, a
private rehabilitation centre in Sydney, has begun offering
treatment programs aimed at curing Internet addiction,
while The World Health Organisation has begun working
on draft guidelines for healthy Internet use.
“Simply substituting certain
behaviours that are commonly
observed among substance users and applying them
to those who view excessive porn cannot justify it as an
addiction,” says Dr Sitharthan.
In an article for The Conversation, University of Sydney
Philosopher of Science Dominic Murphy expressed
the additional concern that the inclusion of Internet
addiction in the DSM “opens the door to labelling normal
interests and passions as mental disorders”.
A lack of awareness remains a significant barrier to
discussing the potential harms of Internet addiction.
Dr Sitharthan says that “appropriate education and
guidance” are necessary to making young people aware of
the risks of excessive reliance on the web.
As research progresses and Internet use continues to
entrench itself in daily life, it is necessary that we confront
the dark side of our constant access to information
and stimulation.
30
BULL | ARTS
THE
CARILLON:
BY THE NUMBERS
WORDS BY MAX HALL
131
170,000kg
Exactly 131 steps lead from the closely-shaved grass of
the Quad to the top of the clock tower where a student
(after navigating three floors of philosophers) will find
Australia’s oldest carillon. The bells were installed to
commemorate students and staff who died in World
War I. Eight carillonists, led by University Organist and
Carillonist Amy Johansen, share the responsibility of
ringing the bells at 60 graduations and biweekly recitals
throughout the year.
Each note that can be played on the carillon corresponds
to an individual bell. The largest and lowest bell, a G#,
weighs a cool 4.5 tonnes. All up, BULL estimates the
combined weight of the carillon at somewhere around
170 tonnes. That’s the equivalent of 43 elephants hanging
over your head each time you walk through the front
gates of the quad – and you thought that Courtyard pasta
was the heaviest thing on campus.
54
That’s the number of times a video of Honorary Carillonist
Isaac Wong performing the Game of Thrones theme song
has been viewed on YouTube. For every classic piece
played – think Brahms, Bach, Beethoven and other
traditional composers who don’t enjoy a name starting
with ‘B’—Johansen says she is happy to take requests for
modern arrangements. Harry Potter has featured in the
past; I’m tipping ‘Crazy Frog’ and ‘Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)’
for Semester Two.
198,473
A total of 54 wooden handles, known as batons, are
arranged like the keys of a typical piano overlooking the
front lawns. In a motion not dissimilar to how one might
play whack-a-mole without a mallet, a carillonist strikes
the batons with loosely closed fists. Wires that stretch to
the ceiling and the bells in the tower above connect the
player’s movements to cast-iron clappers that strike the
bells, which are so loud that hearing protection is required
for anyone in the belfry while the carillon is played.
You can hear the Carillon played every Tuesday and
Sunday, at 1pm and 2pm respectively. Visitors are
welcome and songs can be requested in advance by
emailing [email protected].
31
BULL | FEATURE
CROWD
FUND
ME
WORDS BY CHELSEA PAISLEY
You may know crowdfunding from such projects
as your favourite indie artist’s newest EP, the
proposed Marina Abramović Institute, or the
Statue of Liberty (which was crowdfunded back
in 1885). The financing method has been used
to fund just about everything, from the making
of a potato salad to a Greek bailout, and is only
growing in popularity.
But one place you may have seen a contribution
link lately is on your social media site of choice,
posted by a friend or follower in need.
32
BULL | FEATURE
Cal is a transgender teen who took to crowdfunding to
raise funds for chest surgery. His story made the rounds
of social media, accruing over 3,000 notes on Tumblr and
reaching half of his financial goal in a month.
It’s a process that involves vulnerability and exposure.
Explaining a difficult financial situation to a crowd of
online strangers is not a pleasant experience, especially
when it’s been your escape from the harshness of reality.
But without a story and without a legitimate need for
support, it’s that much harder to acquire funds from
cynical citizens of the internet.
“I’ve seen plenty of trans guys use crowdfunding to
raise money for their transitions, so I didn’t think of it
as strange,” he says. “My followers on Tumblr have…
reblogged [it] a tonne.”
For the uninitiated, crowdfunding is an investment
model whereby a community of people (usually online)
each pledge some money towards a larger, overall goal, to
be reached within a certain timeframe. “There’s no time
or place people are obligated to show up at, and it’s not
limited to people in my area. Literally anyone can donate,”
says Cal.
The website of American business
magazine
Inc
reports
that
investment in crowdfunding has
more than quintupled since 2011.
But beyond that, it’s diversified
with a proliferation of new websites
emerging to cater to specific
audiences: Kickstarter for creative
and tech projects; Indiegogo for
businesses and charities; and
GoFundMe for individuals.
“Stigma definitely exists,” says Cal. “I was afraid people
might think of me as lazy, like I was ‘asking for handouts’.
I don’t think anyone will, but I am afraid.”
“WITHOUT
CROWDFUNDING,
I DON’T KNOW WHAT
I WOULD HAVE DONE.
PROBABLY SENT MYSELF
EVEN DEEPER
INTO DEBT.”
The
latest
offshoots
of
the
crowdfunding model, like Indiegogo
Life, are less commercial in nature. Individual fundraisers
respond to emergency expenses, university or medical
bills, or cover uninsured personal necessities like food,
equipment or gender reassignment surgery. Young
people, transgender people and people with disabilities
are overrepresented here, reaching out to their followers
(and their followers’ followers) as a helpline: many of
these posts will cite unemployment, physical and mental
health complications, and insufficient welfare support as
factors that led them to seek support online.
This cynicism extends beyond simply
not donating. It’s not unheard of for
(usually anonymous) people to call
out, interrogate and generally harass
fundraisers over the details of their
situation and their spending habits.
As an emerging practice, there are
no rules and no shortage of people
offering criticism. “I’m still afraid to
buy anything that costs more than
$40 because I’m terrified someone
will look at me and go ‘why don’t you
save that money for top surgery?’”
For
many
fundraisers,
the
funding potential outweighs the prospects of censure.
Homelessness and unemployment disproportionately
affect young, mentally ill people, and people of colour,
and are daunting possibilities. For a generation raised on
the internet, crowdfunding presents a creative alternative
to often inaccessible, intrusive and insufficient welfare
support systems.
Since 2005, the number of people with access to welfare
in Australia has generally reduced, and payments like the
Newstart Allowance come with their own rules and quotas
(for example, 20 job searches per month is considered
a standard requirement, according to the Department
of Social Services). Unlike arbitrary, inflexible avenues
of support like welfare, a crowdfunding project’s only
middle man is the selected online platform, which
generally collects between five to 10 per cent of donations,
and is otherwise self-directed. As Cal says, “It’s completely
controlled by you. You get to choose how to tell your story.”
Cal found himself in a similar position. “[Without
crowdfunding], I don’t know what I would have done.
Probably sent myself even deeper into debt.”
“I think of my desire for top surgery… crowdfunding
makes sense. I need this surgery, and my insurance
isn’t going to cover it. Physically, my body could survive
without it, but honestly I don’t think I could live the rest
of my life without it. Then again, I’m sure someone who
needs a heart transplant might look at my campaign and
say, ‘Does he really need that surgery?’”
But with thousands more to be gained from a Centrelink
payment, there comes considerable uncertainty. As a
public venture, marketing and popularity matters, and
since online personal fundraising is still a relatively new
idea, its character and mechanisms are still developing.
However, this doesn’t stop multitudes of young and
disadvantaged people logging in and signing up to escape
abuse, weather a tough time or realise their dreams.
33
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BULL | FICTION
FIREPIT
WORDS BY RAZ BADIYAN
The aching hole in my core loved you
It called out your name
Longed for your soul
Lived off the pain
My burning heart needs you
You’re feeding the flame
In your hands you catch it all
Catch all the embers that fall like rain
My life is yours
Whoever you are mine to be
Listen softly to the whispers
The ones that give us hearts to see.
UNTITLED
WORDS BY RAZ BADIYAN
Love is symmetrical
Reflection upon reflection
Twists and folds won’t crack
The clear eyes that pierce my soul
Tesselate
Your glance is like no other
Separate truth from disorder
Honey, you are it all
I see your waves
They break as mine do
The waters speak of pure
They are our testimony
As the storms ease
You find me there
Or is it you
Symmetrical in our stare
35
BULL | VOX POPS & CAMPUS CHATTER
VOX POPS
IF YOU WERE TO GET A TATTOO, WHAT
WOULD IT BE AND WHY?
Cliantha Dessay
MECO II
Sarah Nicole Ambrose
Peter Pan because he taps into our
inner child. I associate Peter Pan with
a nostalgic sense of enchantment,
imagination and quirk!
MASTER OF PUBLISHING I
I’d get a treble clef and my
favourite lyrics “I am not afraid to
keep on living” because music and
life go hand in hand for me.
Konrad Ryzak
MECO II
It’d be an illustration of a burnt house by Brett
Helquist. It’s from A Series of Unfortunate Events
and reminds me that bad beginnings don’t always
lead to bad endings. It also looks really cool.
CAMPUS
CHATTER
To the soft-skinned elephant I met in Thailand,
You are the only one who kissed me during the winter break.
Trunk on Love
To my Winter School fling,
To the man-bunned beauty I met in Barcelona,
With Spring approaching, maybe we can blossom this
fling into a thing?
Please come on Exchange to USyd. You’ll fit right in
with the hipsters, and I promise I’ll protect you from the
spiders and box jellyfish.
Heating Up
Waiting on you with a can of Mortein
To the Government and International Relations
Coordinators,
To my Instagram account,
Lectures on Fridays… y u do dis??
Sorry I had no “sun-kissed in Europe” or “road-tripping
across America” photos to embellish you with over the
winter holidays. I promise when I become a billionaire
with my Arts degree, I will travel the world with you.
Five days a week Arts student
Staycation for life
Send your anonymous love confessions, rants
and sightings to [email protected]
36
BULL | CAMPUS FASHION
RUBAIYA SAMAD | COMMERCE III
DENIS WU | COMMERCE/ARTS III
JAKE ABELA | COMPUTER SCIENCE II
Jacket: Boohoo Jeans: Cotton On
Shoes: Converse
Hat: Roger David Jumper: Connor
Pants: Industrie Shoes: Converse
Cologne: Nautica Voyage Jumper:
Jay Jays Jeans: Topman Shoes: Vans
Why did you choose this outfit?
It’s comfortable and it keeps me warm
during this season.
Why did you choose this outfit?
The hat is for days that I haven’t got
time to do my hair. It’s easy. The whole
outfit is just about keeping things
casual on a normal day of uni.
Why did you choose this outfit? The
striped top is warm and comfortable
for winter and the jeans are just my
staple pants, and I’ve been wearing
Nautica voyage since I was in year 8.
What is the worst fashion trend
you’ve seen on campus? Jellies!
Definitely jellies!
What is the worst fashion trend
you’ve seen on campus? Crocs and
socks, tracksuit pants, and those
flano shirts.
What is the worst fashion trend
you’ve seen on campus? Jeggings
that actually look like tights and not
proper jeans.
Who is your fashion icon/celeb
crush? Gigi Hadid would have to
be my fashion icon/celeb crush. She
is absolutely stunning and has an
amazing fashion sense!
What is your favourite tip for
styling winter fashion? Pick a scarf
and beanie in the same shade to pull
your look together.
Who is your fashion icon/ celeb
crush? Emilia Clarke.
What is your favourite tip for
styling winter fashion? When in
doubt, add a scarf. It’ll keep you warm,
and it looks good.
REBECCA KARPIN, EMILY SHEN & KATIE STOW
brighten up your whole look. From
Van Gogh to sushi, and superheroes
to dinosaurs, there’s a whole world
of patterned and printed socks to
choose from.
This one’s for the lads just as much as
it is for the ladies – if the cold weather
is killing your style game and you
feel like your outfits are all a bit beige
because they’re hidden under layer
upon layer, try some funky socks to
Rather than wearing little sockettes
with your cut-out boots, try a pair of
bright purple socks with little orange
tigers on them. Instead of white
ankle socks with your sneakers, put
your best foot forward with some
PUTTING YOUR BEST
FOOT FORWARD
37
Who is your fashion/celeb crush?
Cara Delevingne because she is Cara
Delevingne.
What is your favourite tip for
styling winter fashion? Wearing
comfortable things with a nice jacket
to elevate the look to classy.
bold rainbow argyle. If you want to
really toe the line, go for some glitter
or ruffled frills to doll up those
neglected ankles.
And best of all, for the social
snappers, instead of #ootd, step out
from the crowd and insta your feet
instead looking their very best. We’ll
show you ours if you show us yours...
#sockporn #sockgamestrong
BULL | STEER THE HERD
WE CAN'T STOP
(WRECKING MILEY'S REP)
WORDS BY JUSTINE LANDIS-HANLEY
Every now and then, I like to Google myself. The
It’s as if her philanthropic good behaviour can never be
truly associated with her for fear of shattering her “bad
girl” image. Cyrus recently founded the Happy Hippie
Foundation, a charity organisation that aims to celebrate
“love, support and resilience with portraits of transgender
and gender expansive individuals from all walks of life”.
Caitlyn Jenner aside, it’s one of the first times that a young,
successful artist of Cyrus’ level of fame has publicly
advocated for acceptance of gender diverse individuals.
results are consistently ordinary: they show that I
sometimes write things for publication, went to high
school, and that none of the other Landises or Hanleys
of the world have been driven to procreate and name
their offspring Justine.
But for those who take permanent residence in the public
sphere, online identity is more remarkable, and often
more damning. Googling the phrase “Miley Cyrus”, for
instance, returns a first page of to-be-expected results: an
article about her “Wild 24 hours on Instagram”, another
article about how she dissed Taylor Swift online, and a
Rolling Stone piece entitled “Miley Cyrus: Confessions of
Pop’s Wildest Child”.
The worst part of this public image, however, is not
what it includes, but what it leaves out – mention of the
charitable work Miley consistently undertakes to advance
the interests of homeless youth and the LGBT community.
MILEY CONSISTENTLY
UNDERTAKES TO ADVANCE THE
INTERESTS OF HOMELESS YOUTH
AND THE LGBT COMMUNITY.
Last year, Miley was escorted to the VMAs by Jesse Helt, a
young homeless man, whom she had accept her Video of
the Year award in order to allow him to deliver a touching,
publicly broadcasted speech about the trials of living on
the streets. While this received some media attention,
publications like the Daily Mail Australia continued to
implicitly discredit the singer’s actions and character,
opening the story with “mega star and controversial
singer Miley Cyrus took a break from her risqué image
in August to draw attention to homelessness at the MTV
Video Music Awards”.
Rather than demonise Cyrus for her “raunchy” behaviour
and explicit imagery, we should be celebrating her in
every sense for her outspoken advocacy and inspiring
confidence. Very few artists speak so openly about
their sexuality and gender identity. And yet, the media
provides a disappointing reflection of the pop princess’
endeavours, prioritising controversy over meaningful
content. This erasure, more than any casual nudity, is the
real scandal.
38
BULL | HAVE A COW & LOCKING HORNS
JOB
UNANSWERED
APPLICATIONS
WORDS BY STEPHANIE PAGLIA
–
you’ll catch the phone call from
soul-destroying
Target; that if you refresh your email
desperation of the part-time job hunt.
one more time maybe there will be
You spend valuable time formatting
a response from McDonalds. Hell,
a
I’ve even checked the letterbox a few
We’ve
the
all
been
gruelling,
resume
filled
through
with
it
personal
achievements that are 78 per cent
true. You print out numerous copies
and roam the local Westfield for some
good old fashioned resume pimping.
times too many.
There’s something so crushing about
never receiving a response. More
frustrating than not getting the job is
the
the feeling of not knowing whether
frustration of waiting for a reply from
you’ve gotten the job. A simple
a job application. You try to convince
courtesy email is all that is needed
yourself if you wake up early enough
to resolve the anxieties of desperate
But
nothing
compares
to
But it’s more than just courtesy;
it’s a necessary requirement for
the applicant. If I know I haven’t
gotten the job, I can apply for other
vacancies and have a better chance at
contributing to the economy.
The part-time job search is cruel, but
it’s made worse by the unnecessarily
prolonged wait for a response.
FOR AIDAN QUINN, THE BATH IS A LIFESTYLE
CHOICE
BARBARA TAYLOR THINKS YOU CAN SOAK WHEN
YOU’RE DEAD
Even if you’re partial to an occasional
soak in the tub with that $6 bath bomb
you got at LUSH that’ll probably give
you a UTI, there’s no way a shower
isn’t the superior option by far. It
might not look cool on Instagram,
but it actually gets you clean, instead
of just marinating your body in its
own filth.
part-timers across the country.
Imagine what could be achieved with
that stress free lifestyle. Maybe we’d
finally be able to find a part-time job!
BATHS VS.
SHOWERS
Relax and indulge; baths make your
day and life a little easier. Forget
the ‘convenience’ of a two minute
shower; invest in yourself for a
lot of long term health benefits! A
luxurious soak can bestow a range of
mental and physical health benefits.
Baths do it all better; the slow and
steady increase of your body and core
temperature is a natural mood booster
proven to reduce stress. Sinking
into that warm water is therapeutic
for the nasal passages, alleviating
cold and flu symptoms that dog the
winter months. The improved blood
circulation does wonders to alleviate
deep muscle tension and joint pain
whilst improving muscle elasticity
and can even alleviate that killer
study migraine.
Other than the added cleanliness
benefits, a shower is a fantasyfulfilling enclosed space. Everything
sounds better in the shower, whether
it’s an argument or an aria. That’s just
science. In the bath you’re just a sad,
naked, dehydrated person stewing
in your own juices. In the shower,
you’re Adele.
Lastly, while a bath can ‘relax’ you,
nothing is more cathartic than
letting it out in the shower. Having a
rough day? Sobbing uncontrollably?
No, those aren’t tears. That’s just
the cleansing spray from your
showerhead. You are purified. Amen.
No one’s disputing that showers are
cheaper and more economical, but
it’s important to remember you get
what you pay for, and that matters
when you’re investing in yourself!
39
BULL | CLASSIC COUNTDOWN
CLASSIC
COUNTDOWN:
SHOPPING CHANNEL PRODUCTS
5
Ab King Pro’
Do you want the abs of a KING? Does
that KING have rock hard abs and in no
way resemble an actual king who was
probably a fat slob (here’s looking at you,
Henry VIII)? You need the Ab King Pro! The
ab machine so great, it folds flat so you can
store it under your bed and forget you ever
paid five instalments of $39.95 for such a
ridiculous thing.
4
Proactiv
3
Thin Lizzy
Fact:
Jessica
Simpson’s
most
marketable body part is her clear skin.
That’s why she was cast as Daisy Duke,
y’all. Those Double Ds she’s always
talking about are her DD face creams. But,
she wouldn’t be anywhere without her
Proactiv 3-step solution. So, there’s hope
for you yet, woman eating chocolate and
watching infomercials at 4am.
More Kiwi than a sheep eating a
pavlova, the Thin Lizzy (“Thun Luzzy”)
is a foundation, a blush, a bronzer, an
eyeshadow, a contour, and a face framer
(which is definitely a thing and definitely
different from a contour) ALL IN ONE.
2
Snuggie
“Blankets are okay, but they can slip
and slide. And, when you need to reach
for something, your hands are trapped
inside.” Liberate your hands with the
Snuggie: the “blanket with sleeves”. Why
wear your dressing gown backwards
when you can buy a Snuggie; it comes
with a free book light!
1
ShamWow
Still buying paper towels? You’re an
embarrassment to the human race. If
someone put a couple of ShamWows
on the beaches of Tuvalu and Kiribati,
there’s no way rising sea levels would
flood those islands. All we can say is,
“Sham… WOW!”
40
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Adam Lamberg – Gordo, Lizzie McGuire
(2001-2004)
Adam Lamberg found fame as a 13-yearold, appearing as Gordo, best friend
of Lizzie McGuire (Hilary Duff ) on the
Disney Channel show of the same name.
After Lizzie McGuire wrapped up in 2004,
Lamberg appeared in two low-profile
indie films before quitting the business.
According to his LinkedIn profile, he
works as a “development associate”
in NYC and has a Master’s in Public
Communication. When you type in his
name, Google asks if you meant “Adam
Lambert”, which is a bit sad.
GOING UP:
Cinnamon scrolls at Parma. We don’t know when
this started (we have received unverified reports
from as early as Week 10 last semester), but they
are there and, if they aren’t from Oregano Bakery,
they sure taste like they are.
Sportsball. Very sports. Much finals approaching.
So excitement. -INSERT TIMELY SPORTS
REFERENCE HERE- (Ed’s note: I got nothing.
Does George Gregan still play? He was great.)
GOING DOWN:
The M2. (Those who live south of the bridge can
read ahead, no offence taken.) Is it just us, or is
peak hour on the M2 now 3pm-8pm? Madness.
The Sunday night profile picture change. Go
on; take your 100 likes, you filthy Facebook fiend.
We all know you’ve been saving that well filtered
picture for the past six days.
BULL | REVIEWS
REVIEWS
WATCH:
WATC H:
INHERENT VICE
PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON
INSIDE OUT
PETE DOCTER
Pixar’s Inside Out is a wonderfully touching, though
simplistic, dive into the intricacies of human emotion.
The film follows a young girl as five of her emotions come
to life inside her mind. Inside Out largely succeeds in
offering a fun family movie, however it is dragged down by
a barebones story with a poorly constructed complication.
Loved by critics, panned by viewers, Inherent Vice marks
the return of director Paul Thomas Anderson after 2012’s
acclaimed The Master.
Dripping with bright and vivid colours, Anderson’s
film explores the drug-saturated Los Angeles of 1970.
Private investigator Larry “Doc” Sportello ( Joaquin
Phoenix) draws viewers in on his journey to find his
missing ex-girlfriend in an increasingly abstract and
absurd adventure.
Amy Poehler’s lead, Riley, is funny, smart and sweet, but
there’s no magic here, no butterflies in our stomachs.
For a movie that looks at our emotions, it does so with
modesty and a lack of ambition. Nevertheless, Pixar have
delivered on a compelling film for children and adults
alike, even if the script fails to explore its full potential.
Inside Out is as ingenious as it is simple, which stands as a
blessing and a curse.
Creative cinematography and dialogue pair up to fill the
viewer with the same building confusion and paranoia
that Doc feels as he bumbles through hippy conspiracies,
drug cartels, McCarthyist G-men, white supremacist
bikers and dental rackets, all whilst high out of his mind.
LIAM LUANGRATHRAJASOMBAT
Anderson delivers a fun and hectic story that ultimately
satisfies, even if it leaves you wondering what it was you
just watched.
AIDAN QUINN
READ:
WATC H:
GO SET A WATCHMAN
HARPER LEE
SUITS
AARON KORSH
Over 50 years since Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird was
published, the sequel Go Set A Watchman follows an adult
Scout returning to Maycombe at a point in American
history where dynamics between the races in the South
are changing.
Based in New York, legal drama Suits follows the trials
(literally) and tribulations of fictional law firm Pearson
Hardman/Darby/Darby Specter/Specter/Specter Litt,
depending on which stage of the series you’re up to.
And if the number of times the firm’s name has changed
isn’t enough to give you a sense of the show’s drama,
try throwing in forbidden love, astronomical wealth,
the brains of Harvard graduates and a Will Hunting
reminiscent boy-genius turned fraud protagonist.
The book is reminiscent of a coming of age novel as Scout
sees other characters in a new light and makes her own
decisions, even if they differ to those of her loved ones.
Today’s women will relate to her struggle to find her place,
as she attempts to reach her goals while dealing with
changing gender roles.
Now available in Australia for binge-watching on
Netflix, Suits more than passes the bar. The writing
is eminently witty and entirely un-clichéd and the
characters are ones you’ll end up caring about more than
you probably should.
Ultimately, the book brings an adult complexity to
characters and issues initially seen through the eyes of a
child – reminding us to be individuals, and form our own
ideas and opinions about the society we live in.
BELLA WIGGS
ASHLEY CHEGWYN
41
BULL | CLUB CONFIDENTIAL
BUSINESS
INTERVARSITY
SPORT DAY
Returning to highschool
heyday
WORDS AND IMAGES BY
LIAM LUANGRATHRAJASOMBAT
Sausage sizzles cure everything
*insert heated conversation*
No sport garnered more attention than basketball, with
the on-court clash between UNSW and UTS drawing big
crowds as passions overcame rational thought. What started
as a friendly game quickly turned aggressive. Basketball
isn’t meant to be a contact sport, but the players seemed
intent on changing the rules with a number of serious
fouls throughout the game. Anger exploded when one
UNSW player got blocked violently with a swipe to the head.
Conversations were heated and many feared (and perhaps
secretly hoped) for punches to get thrown. In the end, UNSW
came out on top with a close score of 35-34.
If you thought you knew what being competitive looked
like, you were dead wrong.
On a frosty Saturday morning at Sydney Boys High School,
UNSW, UTS and USyd students took part in an InterVarsity Sporting competition run by each of their respective
Business School societies. Teams went head-to-head in two
full rounds of futsal, touch footy and basketball with teams
of ten students for each sport.
If anything was going to disrupt the calming experience
university holidays provide, it was bound to be the passion
and competitive streak each set of teams brought to their
respective sports.
UNSW went on to come first in the basketball comp,
while UTS came first in touch, and USyd came first in
futsal. USyd was also awarded the victor’s crown for the
overall competition. But with a free sausage sizzle for all
participants, we all went home feeling like winners.
I turned up – on time I am pleased to say – at a basketball
court filled with participants from the other universities,
more than a bit afraid to be seeing my competition in the
flesh. My teammates were clearly saving themselves for a
grand (and late) entrance.
42
BULL | STUDENT SPOTLIGHT & USWHO
NATHANIEL WARE
WORDS BY AIDAN QUINN
Nathaniel Ware pauses for a moment thoughtfully
“I’ve always been an independent learner, someone
who worked through one text book then another until
I understood the concept,” says Ware. “Class time was
great for refining ideas and expanding them, but most of
my learning took place by myself.”
over Skype. When he answers, he grins and chuckles.
“I do drink too much coffee, but there was no magic
formula to my success”.
This is extraordinary given Nat Ware’s impressive
achievements as a recent economics graduate of Sydney
Uni. Not only did he place first in 12 subjects, he also
started a global consultancy out of high school, became a
Rhodes Scholar and a world champion debater, and swam
the English Channel, as well as winning countless other
awards. He’s now back at Oxford studying for a PhD.
In terms of advice for study, he recommends doing one
subject over a day rather than a different one every half
hour: “I know that doesn’t work for everyone, but for me
focus takes time and getting into that zone is important”.
“I’m grateful that I made a few good friends that were
smarter than me and whenever I was caught or anything,
I’d call them up and get them to explain stuff to me,”
he says.
As such an impressive alumnus, it may come as a surprise
that Ware’s university life was often anything but orderly.
“I tend to be a very last minute person,” he says. “When
there’s no space for procrastination you’re not tempted
to procrastinate.” Nat credits his academic success with
being able to put in the hard yards and go beyond the
course reader.
JASON TONG
PRESIDENT OF THE DISNEY
APPRECIATION SOCIETY
Now studying for a PhD at Oxford University, opportunity,
he says, is his answer to what sets Sydney Uni apart.
“I think Sydney Uni is much better at providing that
thanks to all the clubs and societies available to you.” But,
more importantly, it’s the people that made his time so
memorable. “There’s a common saying. If you want to go
fast, go alone; if you want to go far, work together.”
Why should we join your club?
Whether you’re a fan of Classic
Disney, Pixar, Star Wars or Marvel,
there’s
something
for
everyone.
Friends, food and fun with the magic
of Disney – hakuna matata! To top
it off, our logo is a Disneyfied Quad,
and we think that’s pretty cool.
What upcoming events should we
pencil in our diary?
be a whimsical night of merriment.
Be our guest – we have a castle-full of
events in store.
When does your club meet?
We
usually
host
weekly
events
throughout the year.
How can we get involved?
Like our Facebook page and join our
Facebook group to share in all things
Disney – a whole new world awaits.
Our famous movie marathons are
You can also sign up at any of our
a food lover’s paradise. Don’t forget
events. Join our circle of life and let
our annual Disney Ball, it’s sure to
us bring some joy to your life!
43
BULL | UDDER BULLSHIT
THE
CLOVELLY
COLOURING
BOOK
A WELLNESS SOLUTION BY
ARABELLA WORTHINGTON-CROSS
Colouring is very now. It seems like every
mum on the New South Head Road
school run has swapped her quiet coke
habit for a set of crayons, and it’s little
wonder why; not only does colouring
reduce your stress levels after a long day
in the change room at Bassike, it’s also
delightfully cheaper than hard drugs,
which leaves your wife bonus intact for
the things that matter most… like a girls’
night at Quay! Four courses, of course.
COLOURING GUIDE
1. Ascham red
2. Cerise
3. Stevia white
4. Royal Sydney green
5. Scots gold
6. Kincoppal turquoise
7. Cranbrook blue
8. Rose Bay rose
9. American Express Centurion black
10. Sunday brunch chartreuse
11. Liberal party blue
12. Harbour-view ennui magenta
13. Organic yoga afterglow
14. Deconstructed superfood muesli
health shake with added goji berry beige
15. Money tree green
44
BULL | UDDER BULLSHIT
BY TOM JOYNER
DEFINITELY 100% NOT FAKE TWEETS
VCSpencey1962
@VCSpencey1962
One Direction have become activists. I don’t
know how to feel. #Action1D #StopInequality
#ButAlsoDeregulateFeesMaybe
43 things only people born in the 1900s will
remember: http://bit.ly/ghsdtd8kdf
Joe the Locksmith
@JoetheLocksmith
Hate lockout laws? Hire a locksmith.
Solving the Israel-Palestine conflict? How very
unMcDonalds.
How many millennia will it take for you to
purchase a house? Use our house deposit
calculator! http://bit.ly/bshjkfyb6
Whopper burgers and Pepsi? How very
unMcDonalds.
45
BULL | PUZZLES
THE QUIZ
100% MORE EDUCATIONAL THAN
YOUR MOST RECENT TUTE
1. Which actress played Rue in the 2012 film adaptation of The Hunger Games?
2. What do vexillologists study: A) blood vessels, B) potatoes, C) flags, D) smoke signals?
3. The typical human cervical spine has how many vertebrae: A) 5, B) 12, C) 2, D) 7?
4. The typical giraffe’s cervical spine has how many vertebrae: A) 5, B) 12, C) 2, D) 7?
5. What is the capital of Kazakhstan?
6. “Checking”, “chirping” and “icing” are common parlance in which sport?
7. What is the off-peak concession Opal fare for train journeys of up to 10km?
8. What is the official language of the United States of America?
9. What are the three colours of the genderqueer flag?
10. Which television show received the most Emmy nominations in 2015?
11. On what level of Fisher Library is the 2-hour loan section?
12. What is the official currency of Croatia?
13. Dwight Schrute is a character from which US TV show: A) Parks and Recreation,
B) The Office, C) 30 Rock, D) How I Met Your Mother?
14. Which actor has won the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role the most times:
A) Leonardo DiCaprio, B) Tom Hanks, C) Daniel Day-Lewis, D) Dustin Hoffman?
15. Which Indigenous nation traditionally owns the land on which Sydney University is situated?
16. What is the common name for non-identical or dizygotic twins?
17. What element on the periodic table has the symbol Sb?
18. Finish this quote: “I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, ______.”
19. What is Tony Abbott’s middle name?
20. What is the point of Tony Abbott?
21. Who wrote the story The Giraffe and the Pelly and Me?
22. Who is the 2015 Senior Australian of the Year?
23. Which company owns Tumblr?
24. Which is heavier, a baseball or a softball?
25. What is the name of the comedy section in Honi Soit 2015?
Roald Dahl; 22. Jackie French; 23. Yahoo! Inc.; 24. A softball; 25. The Garter Press.
People of the Eora Nation; 16. Fraternal; 17. Antimony; 18. Sam-I-Am; 19. John; 20. Let us know if you find out; 21.
and green; 10. Game of Thrones; 11. 3; 12. Croatian kuna; 13. B) The Office; 14. C) Daniel Day Lewis; 15. The Cadigal
ANSWERS: 1. Amandla Stenberg; 2. C) flags; 3. D) 7; 4. D) 7; 5. Astana; 6. Ice hockey; 7. $1.18; 8. None; 9. Purple, white
46
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