Margaret Atwood, "Happy Endings"

l5
. i;o rctrryA.lirs or ,
HappyEndings.
17
"Ilc'll be fine." she'd replied, not Lrndcrstanding,speakinginste
the other lbar. "Don't wc have a traditiorl of bastardsl"
L{c was finc, :r classicallyugly healthy litde boy with that shock white
with my
hair that marked so manv of us. But afterward. it was that bad
sistcr down with pleurisl, then cystitis,and no work, no
having t<l
home to see
mrlvc back horne with mv cold-eyeclstepfbthcr.I would c
l-rcr.tionr itlrc wornan I could not admit I'd been with.
take my infi-
lovin$ you and hating you for your
you have no reason to imagine,
Jesseputs heg hands be
est stories."
lifb, for not asking about what
soft-chinned innocence I love.
y neck, smiles and says, "You tell the funni-
pulsing.
"Yeah,"-{.rdllhei'.tBut I lie."
my slster, no one
bcreamingred-faced,
med the mattress fan-
"Shut upl Shut,upl" With each word her tist
ning thc brby's eirr.
"Don t!" I grelbed her, pulling her back,
ng it as gendy as I could
so I woultln't brcirk the stitchcs fiorn her qd
ion. She had her ottrer
't fight mc at all. She just
.rrnr clanrpcd acr,rsrher abdomen rnd c
kept shricling.
screams.That little bastard.
" fhrt little bastard.just screams
I'l l k ilf hir r . "
.
t
Then rhc words seeped in and she lookcd at me while hcr son kept
cry,in* ano kicking his feet. llla his head the mattressstill showed the im[)act()l hcr tist.
"()h r-ro,"she moaned, "l wabn't going to be like that. I alwayspromiscd rnysel;." She startcd to cry, htilding her belly and sobbing. "We an't
n o d ilic r c r r t .W e r n ' t n o rl i tfc rc n t."
]esservrap; hcr arnr around my stomachi.pressesher belly into my back. I
rehx egair st hcr. "You sure you can't have childrcn?" she asks. 'I sure
would like to see what your kids 'uvouldturn out to be like."
I stifltn, say,"I can't have children. I've hever wanted children."
"Still," she says,"y<lu're so good with children. so gende."
I thinr of all the timcs mv hands have curled into fists, when I have
just barcly held on. I opcn mv mouth, close it, can't spcak.What could I
sav llow) /Jl thc times I have n<>tspoken bcfore, all the things I just could
not tcll hci, the shamc, the sclf:hatred, the fbar; all <lf that hangs between
us uow-.r wall I cannot tcar down.
I wouid likc to turn around and talk to her, tell her .
"I've got a
dust rivc; n my hcad, a river of names endlesslyrepeating. That dirty watcr risey'in nre, all th<-rsc
children screaming out their lives in my memory,
ancl I bec<,mesolllc()ne else, sclmeoneI have tried so hard not to be."
l},rt I don't say anlthing, and I know, as surely as I know I will never
havc a cl-rilJ,that by not spcakingI am condemning us, tiat I cannot go on
(r e88)
,/
M AR G A R E TA T WO O D
MargaretAtwood, born in 1939and raisedin Ontario and Quebec,has publishedmore than thirty acclaimednovelsand collectionsof poems,essays,
and
stories.Anrmportantcritic,she hashelpeddellne contemporary Canadianliterature and has a distinguished
reputationamong feministwriters in North
America and abroad.Her novelsincludeSurfoclng
(1972);TheHondmoid'sTole
( 1986),which receivedCanada'sGovernor General'sAward; Cots Eye (1989):
The RobberBride (1993); A|iosGroce(1995), which won the Giller Prize in
Canada;the Booker Prize-winningThe BlindAssossjn(2000); and Oryx ond
Croke(2003).Atwood s story collectionsinclude DoncingCirlsand Other Stories
(1982), B/uebeord's
Eggond Other Stodes(1983), WildernessTips ond Other
Stories(199 1),and GoodBonesond SimpleMurders(1994).Atwood has said
"l did not know what sort of
about her experimentalstory "Happy Endings,"
creature it was. lt was not a poem, a short story, or a prose poem. lt was not
quite a condensation,
a commentary,a questionnaire,and it missedbeing a
parable,a proverb,a paradox.lt was a mutation.Writing rt gave me a senseof
furtive glee,like scribblinganonymously
on a wall with no one looking....lt was
a little disappointingto learn that other people had a name for such aberrations fmeta{iction],and had alreadymade up the rulesl
HappyEndings
|ohn and Mary meet.
What happens next?
If you want a happy ending, try A.
l8
. l"largarerAtwood
A
]ohn and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile
anci remunerativc jobs which they find stimulating and challenging.They
buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they
can aflbrd live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted.
'fhe children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challcnging sex lifb and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations togethcr. 'fhey retire . They both have hobbies which they find stimulating
and challenging. Evcntually thcy die . This is the end of the story.
B
.Vlan' falls in love with )ohn but fohn doesn't fall in love with Mary. He
r.ncrcly uses her body fbr selfish pleasure and cgo gratification of a tepid
kind He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner,
you'il noticc that hc docsn't even consider her worth the price of a dinner
out, and aftcr hc's eaten the dinner he fucks her and after that he falls
aslcep,whilc she does the dishesso he won't think she's untidy, having all
thost: dirry dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she'll look
goocl r.l'henhe wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn't even notice,
he p-rts <xr his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie
and lris sh<les.the reverseorder from the one in which he took them off.
FIc coesn't take off Mary's clothes, she takes them off herself,she acts as
if'sh,:'s dying fbr it cvery time, not because she likes sex exacdy, she
doesil't, but she wants fohn to think she does becauseif they do it often
enor,gh surcly he'll get uscd to her, he'll comc to depcnd on her and they
vvill Iet marricd, ['rut ]ohn gocs out the door with hardly so much as a
goocl-night and thrce days later he turns up at six o'clock and they do the
r,r.hoiething over again.
.Vlarygcts run-down. Crying is bad for your f-ace,everyone knows that
and ;o does Mary but she can't stop. People at work notice. Her friends
tell lLcr iohn is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn't good enough for her, but she
can'r bclievc it. lnside fohn, she thinks, is another fohn, who is much
nicer. 'l'his other John will cmerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a )ack
fion a box, a pit from a prune, if thc first fohn is only squeezed enough.
r-)ne evening |ohn complains about the food. He has never complaired about the fbod before. Mary is hurt.
ller friends tell her they've seen him in a restaurant with another
w()nian, whosc name is Madge. It's not even Madge that finally gets to
HappyEndings.l9
Mary; it's tlre restaurant. fohn has never taken Mary to a restaurant. Mary
collects all the sleeping pills and aspirins she can find, and takes them and
a half a botde of sherry. You can see what kind of a woman she is by the
fact that it's not even whiskey. She leavesa note for lohn. She hopes he'll
discover her and get her to the hospital in time and repent and then they
can get married, but this fails to happen and she dies.
lohn marries Madge and everything conrinues as in A.
c
John, who is an older man, falls in love with Mary, and Mary, who is only
twenty-two, feels sorry for him becausehe's worried about his hair falling
out. She sleepswith him even though she's nor in love with him. She met
him at work. She's in love with someone called |ames, who is rwenty-two
also and not yet ready to setde down.
John on the contrary settled down long ago: this is what is bothering
him. John has a steady, respectable job and is getting ahead in his field,
but Mary isn't impressed by him, she's impressed by fames, who has a
motorcycle and a fabulous record collection. But lames is often away on
his motorcycle, being free. Freedom isn't the same for girls, so in the
meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with Iohn. Thursdays are the
only days lohn can get away.
Iohn is married to a woman called Madge and they have two children, a charming house which they bought just before the real estare values went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging,
when they have the time . John tells Mary how important she is to him,
but of course, he can't leave his wife becausea commitment is a commitment. FIe goes on about this more than is necessary and Mary finds it
boring, but older men can keep it up longer so on the whole she has a
fairly good time.
One day lames breezes in on his motorcycle with some top-grade
California hybrid and fames and Mary get higher than you'd believe possible and they climb into bed. Everything becomes very underwater, but
along comes |ohn, who has a key to Mary's apartment. He finds them
stoned and entwined. He 's hardly in any position to be jealous, considering Madge, but nevertheless he's overcome with despair. Finally he's middle-aged, in two years he'll be bald as an egg and he can't stand it. He
purchases a handgun, saying he needs it for target practice-this is the
thin part of the plot, but it can be dealt with later-and shoots the two of
them and himself.
f0
TheLesson. 2l
l'at,garetAtwood
TO N I C A D E B A M B A R A
lvla.lgic, after a suitablc period of mourning, marries an understanding
cailJ,l Frcd and .u".yihing continues as in A, but under different
'ra'
namcs.
for her civilrightsactivismas well as herfiction and essaywriting,Toni
in
(1939-1995) grew up in Harlem and Bedford-Stuyvesant
Cade
D
New
well and
Fred an.I Madge have no problems. They get along exceptionalla
charmtheir
.rre gooJ ,t..riking our any little difhculties that may arise.But
Real
i,rglouse is by the scashori and one day a grant tidal wave approaches'
tidal
the
estatc vrlucs go rJown. The rest of the story is about what caused
but
wavc arrd how they escapefiom it. They do, though thousands drown'
clasp
they
F'rcd and Maclge arc virLous and lucky' Finally on high ground
A'
as
in
continue
and
gratefi'rl,
and
clripping
and
wci
cach otire r,
ln 1977 she publishedthe short story collectionGorillo,My Love,
which has
widespreadcriticalattention.Her other work includethe
collection
BrrdsAre Still Alive (1977) and the novels The Solt Eoters
the American Book Award, and /f 8/essingComes(1987).
Shewas alsoan
including
of and contributorto severalessaycollections,
Anthology( | 970) and Tolesond Storiesfor Black Folks
( 197l).In additionto
adivism and writing,Bambarataught in collegesand
The BlockWomon:
rndependent
WomenWriters
otWok
E
explainedthe valueof her varietyof experiences:
artist,a cuhuralworker. .,
and honor-to
be a write[ an
you call this vocation.One's got to see
what the factory worker sees,
the prisonersees,what the welfarechil-
dren see,what the scholarsees,
mythmakers
to see what the ruling-class
see as well,rn order to tell the truth
not get trappedl'
F
Mary a
lf vou think this is all too bourgeois, make John a revolutionary and
this is
coul.Itei'espionageagent and sie how far that gets you' Remember'
a
lustful
(lanacli. You'll still cnd up with A, though in between you may get
sort of.
brawling saga Of passionate involvement, a chronicle of our times,
you,ll lraveto flce it, the endings are the samehowever you sliceit. Don't
fake'
be dch,ded by any other endings, they're all fake, either deliberately
with n,alicious intent to deceivc, or just motivated by excessiveoptimism
if not 1,ydownright sendmentality.
Tl,c only authentic ending is the one provided here:
nnd' Mary d'ie'
frt,tn nnd Mary d'ie.lohn nnd' Mnry d'ie'John
So mu,h filr cndings. Beginnings are alwaysmore fun. True connoisseurs'
hardest
howev:r, are known t<, fivor the stretch in between, since it's the
with.
to do r,nything
just one
Tl ,ai's abiut all thar can be said for plots, which anyway are
thing rLfteranother, a what and a what and a what'
(Ie83)
N'rw try How and WhY.
ack in the dayswhe n evervone was o
stupid or young and fooljust right, this lady moved
and me and Sugar were rhe only
-fDirn
on our block with nappy hair and proper
and no makeup. And
quite naturally we laughed at her, laughed the
we did at the junk man
who went about his business like he was some bi -time president and his
sorry-ass horse his secretary. And we kinda hated
r too. hated the wav
we did the winos who cluttered up our parks and
on our handball
walls and stank up our hallways and stairs so you
n't halfway play
hide-and-seekwithout a goddamn gas mask. Miss
was her name.
The only woman on the block with no first name.
was black as
hell, cept fbr her feet, which were fish-white and spooky.
d she was always planning these boring-ass things for us to do, us be
my cousln,
mosdy who lived on the block cause we all moved North
same time
and to the same apartment then spread out gradual to
. And our
parents would yank our heads into some kinda shape and
f)
al
i,
hools in numerouscities.ln an interview in B/ock
"lt's a tremendous
kind and
Ycs,bu : Fred has a bad heart. The rest of the story is about how
devotes herself
un.jerstanding they both are until Fred dies' Then Madge*Madge"'"canto charity w,rik until the end of A. If you like, it can be
ccr," "11uilryand confused," and "bird watching'"
I,
t
t