122 - Valley Planet

Transcription

122 - Valley Planet

VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
#060310062310
JUNE 3, 2010 - JUNE 23, 2010
READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE
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(256) 533 • 4613
IN THIS ISSUE:
Party of One
Men in the Mirror
News of the Weird
Neon Grasshopper
The Greatest Calendar on Earth
A Brief History of ALABAMA FOOTBALL
In
The
Planet
JUNE 3, 2010 - JUNE 23, 2010
Letter from the
Publisher
THE VALLEY PLANET
S
NEXT ISSUE JUNE 24, 2010
203 Grove Ave., Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256.533-4613
Publisher
Jill Wood
Calendar
Joanie Williams
Lay-Out
Douglas A. Lange
Contributors
Matthew Pierce
Jessica Penot
Allison Gregg
Auntie Jen
Ricky Thomason
Raven Woods
Tim Benton
Aaron Hurd
Jackie Anderson
Bonnie Roberts
Jennifer Roberts
Elaine Nelson
Michelle Hilbert
Tina Leach
Matthew Kresal
Diana LaChance
Sarah Gorman
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
#060310062310
TABLE OF CONTENTS
2
Letter From the Publisher
2
On the Cover, Caroline Wang
4
A Brief History of Alabama Football, Matthew Pierce
4
Party of One, Allison Gregg
5
True BS, Tim Benton
5
Neon Grasshopper, Jennifer Roberts
5
The Ghostly Beauty of McCandles Hall, Jessica Penot
6
The All Fat, All the Time Non-Diet, Diana LaChance
7
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason
7
Blue Love Diaries
8
Adventures in the Tennessee Valley, Tina Leach
8
The Single-Guy: Communi-Date, Aaron Hurd
9
Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy
9
Men in the Mirror, Raven Woods
10
Influence of Movies, Sarah
10
Music Calendar Begins
12
Music Calendar Continues
14
More Music Calendar
14
Regional Concert Calendar
14
Calendar of Events Begins
16
Calendar of Events Continues
16
To Yuno to Yunohoo
17
Events Calendar Continues
18
More Calendar of Events
18
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
18
ReLit, Ricky Thomason
19
The Jazz Lounge, Jackie Anderson
20
Free Will Astrology
21
News of the Weird
22
What Then Must We Do?, Bonnie Roberts
23
Classifieds
ummer is here again which usually
means I am beachbound!
My
favorite vacation spot is the Gulf. I
am usually picking through my Buffett cds,
rinsing off my snorkelling mask, ziplocking
my sunscreen and counting down the
hours till my bare feet hit the sand. The
disappointment I feel for not getting to go
to the beach is big. It is my rejuvenation, my
escape. The fear, anger, hopelessness and
frustration of the people who live or work
on the Gulf has got to be unfathomable. This
oil fiasco has and will change many people’s
lives forever. It has changed the beach, the
ocean forever. The cost of lessons learned
is too high. Though I am not going to the
beach this summer, my thoughts, prayers
and hopes are.
-- Jill
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing
this one? - Abraham Lincoln
Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every threeweeks by J W Publications in Huntsville,AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the place
or get it free on the web. Copyright2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All
rightsreserved. You can contact me at [email protected]
Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The
views and opinions expressed within these pages and on the web site are
not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet is
not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or art. Back issues are available for viewing on our web site www.valleyplanet.com in the archives
section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613 or by
mail at Valley Planet 203 Grove Ave. Huntsville, AL 35801.
Subscriptions to the Valley Planet are now available for $50 a year in the
USA. 256-533-4613
On the Cover
H
untsville Artist, Caroline Wang, grew up in Taiwan, and grew up again (culturally) in the United States.
She has passions for art as well as science. She found her niche in art when she was five years old. Having
a love for both art and science; she studied art at the University of Minnesota and received a Master’s
degree in mathematics from the University of Wisconsin. Caroline Wang is an accomplished artist and a successful
NASA Engineer and Researcher. She believes that art training can help people think outside of the box, and that
any invention comes from unexpected creativity. Therefore, science and art are truly related.
Many of Caroline’s art lovers call her the most diverse artist. She incorporates Asian cultural into Western art.
She paints what ever subject inspires her. She experiments with different types of materials for her artwork. She
often discovers new techniques to do her work and many of those are not described in books. Caroline said that
the beauty of Asian painting is the simplicity of its design composition and the cleverness of its brush strokes. The
beauty of Western art comes from the freedom of design and the use of a wide range of materials and tools. Her
original paintings have been on exhibition throughout many cities within the Southeastern United States. Since
2004, she has selected a theme for her annual art exhibit. This allows her to focus on specific subjects. Her themes
throughout the past years have included “East meets West”, “A new look for Asian Art’, “Expressions,”, “Tour
around the World”, and “Species around Us”.
Caroline Wang also enjoys public speaking. She is a member of Toastmasters International, and has received the
highest honor as a Distinguished Toastmaster, and also she served as a Toastmaster District Governor in 2001-2002
and made Toastmaster District 48 a Distinguished District. The most fulfilling aspect of her artwork comes from
the opportunities for her to share her experiences and her joy of art with others. Caroline has taught art classes for
a number of years in the past, and has given many inspirational speeches to non-profit organizations and schools.
Through her exhibitions and speeches, she hopes to encourage people to follow their passion and explore their
possibilities.
We need restaurant
reviewers
for our next issue,
Summer Dining.
If you want to
volunteer give me a
call or send me an
email. 533-4613
cwanggallery.com
YOUR AD COULD
BE HERE FOR AS LITTLE AS $57
PER ISSUE
so...why isn’t it??
2
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
Have your
beer and
enjoy it too.
MGD64. A tasty contradiction.™
3HUR]0*'FRQWDLQVFDOVJFDUEVJSURWHLQJIDW
THE VALLEY PLANET
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
3
A Brief History of Alabama Football
By Matthew Pierce
S
ome people say that God invented football, but those people are gall darn liars. God invented Bear Bryant, and
Bear invented football.
A long time ago, before there was money, people in this country used cotton. This worked out well for people down
South, because cotton was everywhere in Dixie. Up North, however, cotton was scarce. Northern people finally got
discouraged with trying to grow the stuff and they built gun factories instead. This came in handy during the Civil War,
which the South lost after we finally realized that we couldn’t shoot cotton.
After the Civil War the South was desperate for a way to regain its pride. One day a man named Bear Bryant was attacked by an actual bear, who I guess was blitzing. Bryant knocked the animal down and figured that that would make
a good game—knocking people down. Bear Bryant hated Yankees more than anything else, so he gathered up a bunch
of Alabama boys and went around knocking Yankees down. It was the first football season.
Back then there was only one bowl game, the Rose Bowl, and the other teams moved it way out to California because
they hoped Alabama wouldn’t come out that far. But Alabama went to California and won a bunch of Rose Bowls
against teams like Washington. Abraham Lincoln was King of America back then, and when he saw that the South
was rising again he tried to outlaw the game of football. Alabama’s quarterback, Joe Namath, ambushed Lincoln at a
Broadway play and shot him until he was dead. Ever since then he was known as Broadway Joe.
For the next thirty years or so, Alabama was the best team in the land. Many national championships were won. The
exact number has never really been determined: some people say that Alabama has won thirteen national titles; others
say seven. Auburn fans say that we haven’t deserved any of them, but you know how that kind is.
Bear Bryant was Alabama’s coach from 1865 until his death in 1982. After he passed away, the Crimson Tide lost a
bunch of games. My great-granddaddy Elmo called this time “the wilderness”, like when Moses and the Israelites
marched in circles in the desert for forty years. Except instead of manna, we were given Ray Perkins.
After a while a man named Gene Stallings arrived to coach the team. He understood that it was God’s will that Alabama
win football games, and he accomplished this by signing Jesus’ younger brother, Jay, to play quarterback. Gene Stallings was grumpy and yelled a lot, like the football field was his lawn and the players were kids who needed to get off
of it. Alabama won the championship in 1992 when they beat Miami in the Sugar Bowl. Everything was good for a
few months.
Unfortunately, one of Stallings’ players cheated, and this led to the Crimson Tide being
punished for the next decade or so. Things were so bad that Jesus’ youngest brother, Tim,
wouldn’t even play for us. He went to Florida instead. If my great-granddaddy Elmo were
still alive, he would have called this the Second Wilderness. And instead of quail, we were
given Mike DuBose.
256-880-6464
Mon 6am - 5pm
Tue - Sat 6am - 9pm
Sun 8am - 2pm
For a while Alabama let everyone take a turn coaching the team. First there was Mike Price,
who got fired for trying to recruit a girl. Then there was Dennis Franchione, who got scared
by Auburn and ran away to Texas. Then Mike Shula came in for a while. He was very
handsome, but unfortunately he was also clinically dead.
That’s when a man named Nick Saban came to coach the team. He was very short, so he
yelled a lot, and this reminded people of The Bear. He made the players run faster and lift
heavy weights. In no time at all Alabama was the best team in the land. This made everybody happy again, except for the Auburn folks, but what can you do. Email Matthew at [email protected].
my knees regularly. I was
a bumbling mess, losing
six pounds, and doing my
share to keep the vodka
industry afloat.
Lily Pads
A
cross the Northern Hemisphere spring is
popping up all around us. Flowers are in
bloom, people are in love, and ponds are filling
with lily pads. Deeply rooted in mud, lily pads sit on
the surface of water and can produce beautiful flowers.
If you look across a body of water that is home to lily
pads, you will see no rhyme or reason to their pattern of
growth. They are random, plentiful, and beautiful.
Reggae singer/performer Sanchez and Terry Linen
will be performing at The Crossroads on June 6th
PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER
4
As a child, stories of frogs on lily pads filled my books
and imagination. Frogs would leap from pad to pad
with no apparent destination in sight. As I grew older,
I found myself relating to the frogs: jumping with no
real destination. Rewind the clock to early January:
the desire for a great leap was within me. However,
no pad was in my line of sight. Along came an email
changing that desire into action. The email (if you
haven’t been keeping up with my column) was about
the White House Fellows program. With all a mixture
of guts and stupidity, I applied. As fate would have
it, I made it past the first cuts, being sent to Miami for
an interview that changed my life. But somewhere
between the initial leap and the ultimate landing pad, I
lingered in mid-air, waiting.
My decision to jump came from a place of fear and
stupidity. Seriously, I had no idea what I was getting
myself into, but I was too complacent to not try. There
were moments of paralyzing humility where I found
myself crying, hiding my face in my hands. Calm pride
overcame me more than once. If I could just find a
hole large enough and well-stocked, I would have
made it home. A gut wrenching anxiety brought me to
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
The waiting came to an
end on a sunny Thursday. I
would not move to the final
round of selections. Shaking
hands dialed the number of my loudest cheerleader.
The disappointment and
bewilderment
poured
through the phone. All the
hours I spent rethinking
my answers combined
with the awareness of my
competitions’
successes
confirmed what my gut
already knew. Disappointed,
yes. Surprised, not at all.
In the two weeks since
the waiting ended, I’ve ridden a wave of emotions:
struggling with what I said in the interviews, sleeping
like it’s an Olympic sport, swallowing my pride when
confessing the results. It’s a mixture of shame and
pride that I’ve never experienced.
I live my life with no pattern, no plan, hopping from
here to there, going where the wind takes me. The path
of pads I’ve landed upon is neither logical nor rational.
Nonetheless, it is beautiful; it is mine. There is no
shame in trying or making it as far as I did. There’s
only shame in not taking the leaps in life.
As I emerge from this experience, I so desperately want
to see the lesson. It’s not here yet. I want the stinging
pain of disappointment to leave my heart, but it’s not
ready. I want to be proud and laugh again, but I’m not
ready. I want to stomp my feet and cry, but the tears
aren’t coming. Until all of that happens, I will rest on
this lily pad knowing I’m better for the leap.
THE VALLEY PLANET
True BS
be useful again because it was such a colossal failure
the first time — as commentator H. L. Mencken said,
“Prohibition is the work of ignorant bumpkins of the
cow states who resent the fact that they have to swill
raw corn liquor while city slickers get good wine and
whiskey.”
How to Win the War on Drugs
by Tim Benton
W
e the people of the United States of America,
in order to form a more perfect union, have
been waging a most courageous war on
drugs for a good forty years now. We have done this for
a couple of reasons. First, we are a god-fearing nation,
which means it’s sinful to get blasted on anything other
than a biblically approved agent of drunkenness. That
would be wine.
Secondly, drugs led to the invention of the hippie
— a most disagreeable type of person noted for his
unpatriotic nature, apathy toward work, and unwashed
hair that smells. Who needs them? Wipe out drugs
and you wipe out hippies. Kind of like wiping out the
buffalo wiped out the Indians. It worked then. It could
work now.
So this is a good war. It employs a lot of people in
law enforcement and helps to keep our prisons full,
which is always a plus. But, this war is costing a lot of
money, which all of us non-hippies have to pay for. So
in these times of exploding government expenditures
and record deficits, it’s time to get serious and win this
war. I know how to do it.
Bring back prohibition.
You remember, the Volstead Act of 1919, that
constitutional amendment that made it illegal to
“manufacture, sell, or transport intoxicating liquors.”
I realized that this is an idea whose time has come again
after reading the words of a man I respect. When Abe
Lincoln talks, it’s best to listen, even if he is fossilizing
in a box in Springfield, IL. So what if he’s been dead for
a hundred forty five years. I was moved by his words.
“Intoxicating liquors came forth like the Eyptian angel
of death, commissioned to slay, if not the first-born,
then the fairest of every family.”
Abe would no doubt have approved of prohibition,
especially since his buddy, Johnny W. Booth, had a
couple of belts in him when he shot Lincoln. But fear
of that angel of death is not why I favor a new legal ban
of alcohol. I see prohibition as something that could
But how would a new prohibition against intoxicating
liquors help win the war on drugs, which if I can
remember back that far, was my original point? You
see, when bumpkin legislators from the cow states got
Prohibition passed into law, they inadvertently created
another law — the Law of Unintended Consequences.
When ninety million people have a strong desire for
a product, somebody is going to supply it to them.
And when that product is illegal, the supplier will be
a criminal who stands to make billions of dollars of
profits. The suppliers of illegal liquor in the 1920s
were called mobsters. The suppliers of illegal drugs
today are called cartels.
So if we want the cartels to stop supplying drugs, let’s
give them incentive to switch to a product that would
be a lot more profitable because it has a lot more
consumers. You see where I’m going with this. Make
beer, wine, whiskey, and Listerine illegal and watch the
criminal elements kill each other to supply it to all two
hundred million Americans who’ll be screaming for
it. The Colombian, Mexican, and Asian cartels won’t
bother with making drugs for hippies when they can
make a trillion dollars supplying good beer, wine, and
whiskey to us city slickers. Imagine an America with
rivers of booze and no drugs. Prohibition, The Sequel,
would do it for us. The only possible drawback I see to
this is if distribution of illegal liquor doesn’t get to the
cow states quickly enough, then we’ll have to listen to
the bumpkins bitch about their corn liquor.
There’s some kind of twisted logic in this, though I
have to admit that it’s actually pretty stupid. Which
means if any goobernatorial candidate reads this, count
on him to endorse the idea and put it in a commercial.
I think the only reason I thought of this is because I’m
almost finished with a bottle of that biblical intoxicant
and I’m mad at the hippie that sold me the “medical
marijuana” that turned out to be oregano and grass
clippings. Forget I wrote this. I’m going to smoke this
oregano and forget it myself. Meanwhile, if anyone
knows an honest Colombian, have him call me.
Email Tim at [email protected]
Neon Grasshopper on
a
Bright Path
By Jennifer Roberts
I
chose to melt in the sun outside Starbucks one
Saturday in May. It was worth every minute, as I
had the pleasure of interviewing bass player, writer,
and vocalist Scott Boss and vocalist/lyrical poet/rapper
and keyboardist Miqel Alexander of
Neon Grasshopper.
I was introduced to their music this past
April at Excalibur Vintage and Vinyl in
Decatur. As a lover of good music, I
quickly realized that Neon Grasshopper
is a rare gem, meant to be heard and
treasured.
Years before he helped build the brilliant
mixed-genre collective that is Neon
Grasshopper, I had already regarded
myself as a true fan of writer, guitarist,
and vocalist Alan Backer. I was long
ago taken with his songs like “Face
Cancellation,” which appears on the
band’s newly-released EP 102. In a
recording session this spring, Neon
Grasshopper
metamorphosed
the
existing genius of “Face Cancellation”
into a present-day masterpiece that is
nothing shy of a melodic and hypnotic
fusion of music and poetry that continues
to awaken emotion in me long after the
track ends.
I haven’t interacted much with drummer
Josh Ferguson, but his onstage rhythm
and intensity spoke right to that soft spot
I have for drums and artists who know how to work
them. He’s also regarded as the “concert pianist” of
the group—usually to be found on drums but with
“phenomenal” skills on the keys, as well, noted Scott
and Miqel.
Talking with Scott, who formed the group alongside
Alan in 2008, leaves you with a feeling of admiration,
as he certainly knows what he wants—and is doing it
and loving it. As Scott stated, “I’m as much a fan of
this band as I am a member.”
Miqel—a self-proclaimed Neon Grasshopper “groupie”
before he completed the band—brings a lot of passion,
wisdom beyond his years, eloquence, and intelligent old
school rap to the mix. He attributes the band’s ability to
create mixed-genre music to “extremely open-minded”
band mates who each bring their own “flavor.”
This exceptional chemistry the members of Neon
Grasshopper share is a chemistry that can exist only
when a group of musicians really respect the perspectives
of one another, understand group compromise, and
believe in what they’re doing. When they’re together, it
shines through. And seeing and hearing them yourself
is proof. If you’ve already seen them live (or already
have their CDs), I feel sure you’ll agree their music
is intellectually-provocative, fun, organic, and—from
time to time—hauntingly bittersweet.
I’d also say the good vibes the men of Neon Grasshopper
share with their listeners and live audiences perhaps
stem from their solid bond as band mates, with exactly
the right blend of talent, creativity, drive, artistic
compatibility, flexibility with instruments and vocals,
and—as they point out here—an ability to leave ego
at the door.
On making music with friends…
The Ghostly Beauty of McCandless Hall
Miqel: “It’s definitely comforting to play with friends
because you can offer up your ideas in their rawest
form, and you’ll get constructive criticism. They’re
able to tell you, ‘Hey man, I really think that sucks.’
It’s someone’s honest opinion you can respect, so you
don’t turn that criticism inward and get down about it.
You sit back and look at it from their point of view
and can be like, ‘Let me get your help on that.’ And it
definitely makes for better music.”
On music without ego…
Scott: “I always joke how our band has no ego. I hate
seeing bands who think they’re the coolest thing to
hit the world ever. That’s not what we are. We love
music. There’s no gimmick to it. There’s no ‘look
at these moves we have.’ I
move because the music
does that—because I want
to. I don’t do it because I’m
such a spectacular dancer—
I’m not. I just like to swing
around while I play because
that’s how it makes me feel.
It’s like dancing in your
bedroom.”
Miqel: “Ego is the farthest
thing from our group. Our
personalities mesh together
so well, there really is
no room for it. It’s so
counterproductive.
We’re
all grown-ass men. There’s
no room for pride or any of
that teenage bullsh*t.”
On creating a smooth
rhyme (like “Love Bus”)
about a personal experience
without
compromising
the integrity of the actual
experience…
Miqel: “It’s all a matter of
being true to yourself. I think if you do that, the music
will just come. Like the music flows together when
we write it together—some of these rhymes, they really
do just kinda spill out. They happen to really hold
relevance. I always recheck everything. Just to make
sure it is true to what happened. There are two sides to
every coin. There’s always going to be someone who
disputes someone else’s truth. It is hard to express the
true intent of an experience and put it to a beat and try
not to be overly-metaphorical. You have to just say
some things plain as they are.”
On working hard and having a story behind the
music…
Scott: “We’re playing better more consistently, writing
more songs than ever before. As much as we’re not
getting the recognition right now…well, that comes
with hard work. I wanna be able to say that [we worked
hard] when we get there, not ‘some guy stumbled into
our garage one day and said ‘hey, I’m from Sony
Records. Want a million dollar contract?’ As good as
that would be—and we wouldn’t turn it down—you
need the story behind the music to tell later on.”
Follow Neon Grasshopper on Facebook for news and
CD release info. Visit their MySpace page for videos
and sample tracks from the very moving EP 102
(which includes a strong and intensified recording of
“For Lack of a Better Word”), plus EP 101 and EP
101 Bonus (feat. other personal favourites of mine like
“Sleep on the Other Side” and “Love Bus”). Some of
these songs may ring a bell, as they’ve been featured
on 106.1 FM’s Home Brew.
And be sure to keep an eye on Valley Planet’s music
calendar for dates, showtimes, and live venues!
June 4 Knuckleheads Sports Bar, 7207 Highway 72
west Madison
June 5 Voodoo Lounge, 9pm, Free, with Fistful of
Beard
June 11 Giant, 222 2nd Ave Decatur, with Lesser S
June 18 Excalibur Vintage and Vinyl, 215 2nd Ave NW
Decatur, 9pm, $5
By Jessica Penot
M
That night Ms. Burns had to leave. There was a terrible storm and lightning painted the black sky with its terrible
wrath. Ms. Burns’ art called her elsewhere and she could not linger any longer in Athens. She met her lover one
last time and made him a solemn promise. “I will return,” she promised. She kissed him and vanished into the
night. That night the storms were worse than usual. Ms. Burn’s carriage was capsized and the lovely Abigail Burns
met her death in the mud and rain.
While Ms. Burn’s was staying in Athens, she met a local attorney. It didn’t take long for the couple
to become completely enamored of each other. The young couple quickly fell into the kind of love
that drives people to do irrational things. In between performances, the two lovers would meet in the
shadows of McCandless hall. Their love blossomed and on the night of her final performance Ms.
Burns sung Verdi’s opera La Traviata with such emotion those that watched wept for the beauty of it.
Ms. Burns kept her promise, however. Her ghost returned to McCandless Hall and went to the room where she
and her lover met and exchanged their vows. According to legend, she still waits in the shadows. She looks
down from the window, waiting for her lover to return to her. Many have seen her face looking out, filled with
longing and desire. Others have heard her footsteps and heard her weeping in the dark. When Ms. Burn died, a
beech tree was planted in her honor in front of McCandless Hall. The tree still stands there today. It serves as
a reminder of the ghostly beauty who still awaits her lost love in the shadowy corridors of McCandless Hall.
cCandless Hall is part of Athens State University. The building is a Greek revival style auditorium.
MCandless today is used to house the theater department and has been used for many contemporary
plays and musicals. In the early 1900’s it was used to showcase the talent of the famous opera singer
Abigail Burns. Ms. Burns was a talented and beautiful young soprano and Athens was excited to have her perform
in their lovely, little auditorium.
THE VALLEY PLANET
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5
The All Fat, All the Time Non-Diet
…or, my culinary tour of New Orleans
By Diana LaChance
W
e all know New Orleans is nicknamed “The Big Easy,” but there seems to be no clear-cut consensus as
to why. Some say it has to do with the city’s relaxed attitude toward alcohol during Prohibition. Others
suggest that it comes from the ease with which a struggling musician can make a living there. Me? I
think it refers to gaining weight – it’s just so darn simple to pack on the pounds in that city! New Orleans is rife
with affordable and excellent locally owned restaurants. Oh, and beignets. Can’t forget the beignets. Nothing like
topping off a 5,000-calorie meal with a few deep-fried, sugared puffs of batter. Mmm-mmm!
tarts – raspberry and apple, a blueberry muffin, and a
chocolate croissant, which we happily ingested from
the comfort of the bakery’s relaxed, sofa seating.
With that, there was nothing left to do but return home,
not only fatter but worldlier for having seen one of
America’s most unique and vibrant Southern cities.
And even though our original intent was to see Pearl
Jam perform, we ended up getting a lot more than we
bargained for, and not just in calories! I am already
looking forward to our next visit. And dieting for it as
I had the pleasure of stuffing myself at several of the city’s finer establishments on a recent trip to the Big Easy.
The real reason for my visit was to attend JazzFest. I didn’t know when I got married that part of my vows would
include following my husband to every Pearl Jam concert within 1,000 miles of Huntsville. But that’s love, people
(and by love, I mean my husband’s love for Eddie Vedder). So after putting up a weak resistance in order to earn
extra credit by “reluctantly” agreeing to go, I joined him for a long weekend there at the end of April.
Never having been to New Orleans before, I was naturally excited to see the famed Bourbon Street. We settled
into our hotel and then went to the front desk to ask for a dinner restaurant recommendation in the French Quarter.
“Deanie’s,” they said. “It has great seafood! The best!” Only after we were seated and our food arrived did I realize
that, by great seafood, they meant fried shrimp that tourists would probably believe is authentic but that no city
resident would be caught dead eating. Right then, I resolved not to waste one more calorie on anything other than
real New Orleans cuisine.
The next morning began a little too early. We maaaay have had an after-dinner hurricane or four at Pat O’Brien’s
the previous night. So we set out for a little breakfast dive on Poydras Street called Mother’s Restaurant. A city
landmark for the last 72 years, Mother’s was devastated by Hurricane Katrina in 2005, but reopened less than two
months after the storm to help “comfort the soul and nourish the spirit as well as the body” of the city’s battered,
but resilient residents. One look at Mother’s menu, ranging from homemade biscuits, multi-egg omelets, and
ginormous fluffy pancakes to spicy jambalaya, seafood gumbo, and crispy fried chicken, and we had no doubt our
own bodies would be well nourished that morning.
well…
With friends in front of Jaques-Imo’s Café.
Naturally, the only thing to do after eating comfort food like that is to take a nap. So that’s what we did before
heading back to the French Quarter for lunch. This time, we ended up at the Royal Street Grocery & Deli, on the
corner of Royal and St. Ann Streets. Like Mother’s, the deli was another little dive somewhat off the beaten path.
But one look at the menu posted in the window and we knew it was the place for us. I kept it simple with a bowl
of creamy tomato basil soup and a side of baguette with brie and apple slices, but Dave went all out with a black
& blue po’ boy stuffed with steak tips, blue cheese, and a spicy sauce. What was left to do but head over to Café
du Monde for a dessert of beignets?
I know, I know! When it comes to New Orleans’ tourists traps, it’s hard to top Café du Monde in terms of notoriety.
But I’d heard a lot about the beignets there, so tourist trap or not, that’s where we were going. By sheer luck,
we managed to get a table amongst the thronging herd, not far from the live band that was entertaining diners
and passers-by alike. We ordered a plate of beignets and it was delivered in record time, despite the crowds. I
brushed off 20% of the pound of powdered sugar topping the stack and took my first bite of beignet (calorie count:
1,353,000). I was in heaven. Café du Monde had totally lived up to its reputation. Then I ate another. And another.
But, really, who’s counting? Apparently my husband was – he accused me of hogging them all. “Who said life is
fair?” I asked, which came out as “Whmph sssz lfs frrr?” because my mouth was full of another beignet.
We spent the afternoon touring the French Quarter, checking out antiques and art that we’d never be able to afford,
and trying on the ubiquitous bedazzled, be-feathered masks that decorate the walls
of almost every retail establishment in the neighborhood. Well, I tried on a bunch.
Evidently, my perception that a glittery hot-pink mask would magically transform me
into a mysterious reveler with a dark and exciting past was ill-founded. My husband
told me that I “just looked weird.” We decided to head back to the hotel to shower and
change for dinner, which would be at Jaques-Imo’s Café on Oak Street in the city’s
Uptown-Carrollton district.
Sign for Jaques-Imo’s Café.
It’s almost impossible to describe the sprawling, eclectic, dramatically lit spaces
that join together to form Jaques-Imo’s Café. Seating ranges from bustling al fresco
street-front picnic benches to cozy tables in an enclosed balcony cooled by lazily
swirling ceiling fans. There’s yet more seating in a nearby building that doesn’t
seem to have any connection to the café whatsoever, in addition to a random table
for two in the back of a pick-up truck parked out front! All are centered around
a bar that churns out hundreds of Jaques-Imo’s iconic mojitos each hour to the
never-ending stream of guests. We waited nearly two hours to be seated, placated
by icy high balls and a plate of the best – greasiest – corn bread we’d ever eaten.
Fortunately, we saved plenty of room for the main course: a rack of lamb for me and
steak topped with oyster étouffée for Dave. It was by far the best meal I’d had in a
very long time, and it went great with the copious amounts of La Crema red wine we
downed.
At last, Saturday arrived and we traversed the city to pay our homage to Pearl Jam.
Turns out we weren’t the only fans with that plan! The Fair Grounds Race Course,
the festival’s host since 1972, was nothing short of mobbed, and nowhere was it more mobbed than at the Acura
Stage where Pearl Jam was performing. I set Dave free to claw his way to the front, while I roamed the fair
grounds to take in the scene. Endless booths offered every type of food imaginable,
from hummus and po’ boys to banana bread pudding and fried chicken livers. There
were vendors for strawberry daiquiris, rum punch, and wine, in addition to roaming
beer sellers. Tents had been erected, under which attendees browsed recordings of
live performances from the festival, clothing, art, and any other manner of souvenirs
for purchase. There was even an on-site post office to mail your wares back home!
Overwhelmed by it all, I decided to stake out a slightly lower-traffic grassy patch
where I could enjoy my rum punch while watching Eddie on the JumboTron. I figured
Eddie would understand, even if Dave didn’t feel I got the total PJ experience!
After fighting through the crowds for most of the day, we opted for a quiet dinner at
Catch, an upscale seafood restaurant on Magazine Street, in the city’s ultra-charming
Garden District. A perfect evening, we sat at an outside table to people watch and
feast on seared yellow fin tuna over angel hair pasta with tomatoes and spinach and
a luscious shellfish stew. We even saved room for a sadly non-low-fat, but entirely
delicious dessert of apple crisp with ice cream! But it was with a heavy heart that
we headed back to our hotel after dinner, knowing that the morning would bring
our departure from the city. Fortunately, the Big Easy held one more ace up its
sleeve: La Boulangerie. We stopped by this authentic French bakery on the corner of
Magazine and Cadiz Streets for breakfast on our way out of town the next morning
and were blown away by its selection of pastries and breads. We ended up with two
6
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
Eddie Vedder on the JumboTron.
Sign for Catch Seafood Restaurant
THE VALLEY PLANET
Unchained
Maladies
by Ricky Thomason
I
tell you folks, these kids are
getting out of hand. I just
heard on a Florence, Alabama
radio station that a group of 12 or
13 year old kids on a field trip to
a park surrounded and beat the
f*** out of a duck with a plastic
bat. They were polite, lacking a
weapon each, they took turns in
the whackaduck game in what
the press may dub the “Fungo
bat duck bludgeoning.”
ornaments handy. Maybe he should have ducked. I’d
hazard a guess that the duck incident was over a bill.
The assaulter got his feathers ruffled and simply just
lost it, grabbed the first thing handy and quacked the
victim up side his head.
About the only thing the kids can plead would be selfdefense. Have you never heard of anyone having a
duck fit? Ducks do have fits, just check the Internet if
you don’t believe it. They are
known to have attacked dogs,
cats and humans, too. There’s
even video to prove it.
Then there’s always the
“copycat” defense. I submit
for your approval this 2007
article from the orange Co.
(California) Register.
June 1, 2007 14-year-old is a
suspect in duck attack
Choking your chicken is a
fairly common childhood game:
whacking your duck is a new one
on me.
By KIMBERLY EDDS and
RYAN HAMMILL
The Orange County Register
At this writing, I don’t know if the
incident was local or not: doesn’t
really matter does it? It comes to
mind that the early profiles of social psychopaths and
serial killers include cruelty to animals. A fascination
with fire is often in there, too. I watch “Criminal Minds.”
I know which ones to look for now. Apparently some
brave adult bystander intervened in the assault before
the duck-whackers reached the point of fiery climax.
Whether fire might have been introduced later remains
an unknown.
HUNTINGTON BEACH A 14-year-old boy has been
artwork by Debbie West identified as a suspect in the
stabbing of a female duck
who was found over the weekend wandering around
with a large pocketknife stuck in her back.
You have your Peking Duck, now there’s also Whacking
duck on the takee-outee menu.
Only time will tell whether or not there are any budding
Jeffery Dahmers or Ted Bundys in this bunch.
“This duck definitely had a close call,” said Lisa Birkle,
assistant director at the Huntington Beach center.
One of the deejays outraged over the duck whacking
suggested the kids’ punishment should be many hours of
community service in the form of working with animals
in shelters. Maybe I’m wrong, but giving the little
duckers more opportunity to abuse animals may not be
the best idea at this stage in their arrested development.
Would you sentence future child molesters to work
with the Boy Scouts or be youth ministers?
Not any need to really. The truly twisted will probably
volunteer eventually. They take to it like ducks to
water.
The ducks struck back – sort of; according to The
Huntsville Times, Police say one man was recently
jailed after he hit another man with a ceramic duck.
Tomas Gutierrez, 22, was arrested on assault charges
after they say he attacked another man with a broken
piece of a ceramic duck.
The man hit by the duck sustained injuries to his head,
back and elbow. The incident happened in the 2900
block of Pulaski Pike. Gutierrez was also charged with
possession of marijuana and resisting arrest.
How the duck do you come to use a ceramic animal
as a weapon? The victim should consider himself
lucky there wasn’t one of those big pink flamingo yard
The duck, nicknamed “Lucky” by workers at the
Wetlands and Wildlife Care Center, is expected to make
a full recovery. The center put up a $1,000 reward for
information leading to a suspect.
“The fact that she’s eating and moving around with
ease is a good sign.”
Lucky was first seen Thursday in Huntington
Beach Central Park near the Breakfast in the Park
restaurant with a large pocketknife in her upper-right
back, Birkle said.
Volunteers looked for the wounded duck for two days,
but the rescue was unsuccessful. Lucky was captured
about 10 a.m. Sunday and taken to an emergency
animal clinic.
The knife, which came within a centimeter on either
side of vital organs, was removed - and the duck
became “Lucky.”
Huntington Beach police and California Department of
Fish and Game officers are investigating the attack.
Lucky, a 3-month-old duck with limited flying ability
was probably an easy target, wildlife officials said.
“I’ve seen birds shot, used as footballs, even doused
with lighter fluid and lit on fire, but never stabbed,”
Birkle said.
Bet he’s never seen one whacked with a plastic bat,
either.
Dear Blue Love Diaries
Send your questions in to [email protected]!
Dear Blue Love Diaries,
I was out shopping today and the cashier was so very rude. I try to understand that people are having a hard time
these days, but enough is enough. She first answered her cell phone while I’m waiting to be helped and then was so
angry with the person she spoke with that she started throwing my stuff and then proceeded to snatch my money.
Do I report this young lady and take a chance on getting her fired or just let it go?
Signed,
Customers Satisfaction
Dear Customers Satisfaction,
There is no way this cashier can justify her rude behavior. I’m with you- enough is enough. We can’t keep letting people use the bad economy as a crutch to do and/or say what ever they please. Someone has to stand up
and make them take responsibility for their actions. If you feel so badly about reporting this individual to the
supervisor, then why not start by filling out one of their customer surveys or send an email to customer care
about your experience in their store. In the suggestion area, suggest that they speak with all of their cashiers
about these particular issues.
Me and My wife were divorced over a year ago and we have continued to be sexually active with each other. Why
have I not totally let her go? Why have I not decided to date others because of feeling like I’m cheating on her? I
still love her but I know that I would not want to remarry her.
Signed,
Still Attached
THE VALLEY PLANET
# 060310062310
Dear Still Attached,
You and Your wife are using sex as a link to hold you both into something that probably should have been disconnected a long time ago. You won’t let go until you get yourself out of the way of that temptation. You have
to refuse to remain in that situation. Whether you are dating others or not isn’t the question. It’s what do you
enjoy looking at and thinking about? That will tell you if you are a cheater or not. Not wanting to remarry her
may just be a good thing right now because getting back together without dealing with real problems is almost
certain disaster. Tough Love may seem harsh, but it is sometimes necessary.
I have had my puppy for 3 years now and have come to be very attached to her. Things are getting a bit tight in the
finance department and my question to you is, would it be a shame getting rid of her to not be one of my options
when down sizing?
Signed,
Help Me Down Sizing
Dear Help Me Down Sizing,
It will not be shameful for you to choose not to down size by getting rid of your puppy. I’m sure there are other
things that you can do without, in order to help with your financial situation. Just make some minor adjustments in some of your spending and it will make a big difference. Getting rid of your puppy (whom you love and
care about) is like getting rid of one of your children and that is not an option.
Disclaimer: The article above, Blue Love Diaries, is NOT meant to replace seeking professional therapeutic assistance. It is hoped that the responses given will be helpful, but this article exists to entertain our readers and is
NOT professional counseling. In all instances, seek the advice of a professional in your life decision-making.
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
7
a good dirty martini. There’s a fitness room near the
pool if you feel the need to work out on vacation. Yeah,
I don’t get it either. And there is a restaurant, but I
didn’t go there so I can’t review it. All I can say for
sure is that they have food (although I didn’t actually
see the food).
For those who have more to spend, there is the
Chancellor’s Club which offers special hors d’oeuvres,
complimentary breakfast and other goodies. Monocles
are required, but the maître d’ can provide you with
one.
by Tina Leach
The Fancy Pants Hotel
T
alk to the experts and they’ll all say “Nothing says adventure like an accounting seminar.” And adventure I
did. I will now recount my entire adventure: from sitting through a four hour seminar on compilations and
reviews to the second four hours on tax-basis financial statements.
Hour one: Compilations of financial information. And while I’m at it I could also describe paint drying, and
we could wait for water to boil. Accounting seminar aside, there was still fun to be had. I had to be at the
Pelham Civic Complex at 8:30, and being terribly opposed to waking up before the cock crows, I decided to go to
Birmingham the night before.
We decided to stay at the Wynfrey Hotel.
Yes, I’m aware that the Wynfrey is nothing new and has been around since the Riverchase Galleria opened in 1986,
but come on! We’re an hour and a half away from Birmingham. I’ve been to Birmingham just to eat dinner. It’s
like staying the night in Florence.
But having to be there at the crack of dawn was the excuse I needed and since I was only going to be there one
night, I could shell out a little more dough, bread, or scratch. (I could also spare a few quid, but then I’d have to
exchange dollars for pounds and then back into dollars, and that would just take too long).
The lobby is beautiful. There’s an escalator, but it
doesn’t really go anywhere. (I checked). I think it’s
for gatherings or banquets. And the front door is a
revolving door. The temptation to play in it until
security comes is great so be forewarned.
The rooms were very nice and very clean. Two great
tastes that taste great together. I had no quarrel with
the bed, as I slept quite well. Of course an hour in the
hot tub and I’m so relaxed I could probably sleep on a
bed of nails.
The other bonus is that it’s in the mall. You can
literally shop till you drop. (Although I don’t think a
full service hotel extends to dragging the unconscious
shopper to his or her room.) Plus it’s nice if you have
a traveling companion that will have nothing to do
while you are off enjoying the excitement that is the
accounting seminar.
So in conclusion: A hotel…IN A MALL! What will
they think of next?
And shell out I did. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time and loved the place, but it ain’t cheap. If you
wanna be Miss Fancy Pants (or Mr. as the case may be) be prepared to spend some C notes. I spent about
$200 on my trip for just a standard king size room. It didn’t sound as bad when I booked it online (wynfrey.
com), but once I got there, I had to pay taxes and all that. Oh, and a parking fee. Yes, a hotel at the mall
charges you a fee to park there overnight. I think it’s a little silly. Couldn’t you just park outside Macy’s
for free?
Ah, but there are some perks for the pay. Rooftop pool: awesome. Rooftop hot tub: awesomer. Going
to the rooftop during the Great Deluge of 2009: not quite as awesome. This was during the rainy season
(which could be any time last year, but more specifically September). Although, rooftop hot tub lounging
during the rain pretty much guarantees a lack of 1970s gold-chain clad swingers coming to join in the fun.
So we waited till it was just sprinkling and had the whole hot tub to ourselves. Good times.
Of course, we had time to kill while the rain poured the equivalent of the Amazon River onto Birmingham
so we decided that a Fancy Pants hotel would be the perfect place to have the snootiest of drinks: the
martini. So it was off to the Ivory Lounge, a quiet little bar with a safari leitmotif. I gotta say, they make
The Single Guy:Communi-Date
By Aaron Hurd
earing from my readers who are “Off Da Hook”!
H
I read the article regarding being on the hook and it really made me think that I have been on the
hook for a long time with a guy that I have been seeing. We went out for a few months, and I thought we
really connected we talked everyday and hung out all the time, and just all of a sudden he stopped calling. I
confronted him about this and he said he lost his phone, we had a fight and now he will not return any of my
calls. Should I try to make it right?
Two things can be happening here. One, Yes, you may be on the hook and something else came along that grabbed
his attention that he wanted to pursue. I know that is hard to hear, but keep in mind it is NOT you and does not
mean you are less of a person. Be happy you’re off it. Two, you may have just scared him with freaking out over
an un- returned phone call…some guys, including me, do not like the feeling of being “trapped” and the minute
a female freaks out over something like a phone call -we start to feel like we are being pressured. Needy is not
attractive to a lot of us, but hey, we have all been guilty of being “Needy” and “Clingy” when strong feelings are
involved, you know I’ve been there recently (Still regret doing that-player card was lost, actually, shown in all its
glory).
Should you make It Right??
Sometimes you just can’t make it right- keep that in mind. Unfortunately, we cannot control others feelings.
Personally, when I have had someone on the hook before that I am ready to shake loose, I try to find a reason to cut
them and get angry with them. This does two things for me…makes me look like a “victim” and like it “wasn’t
my fault”. It keeps me in control to cut them when I want and get them back when I am ready to bait up again. It
takes responsibility away from me. I know what you are thinking-what a jerk! Yes! (I have learned my lesson I
am vowing to change!)
The best advice I could give you (from a male’s perspective) is back off. No calls, no text, emails, etc. Show him
that you CAN live without him. We all want what we can’t have! I have admitted that more than once in this
column. If he is interested at all he just may come back when he cools off. But seriously-do you want him back?
Really? Only you can answer that.
After reading your “on the hook article”, I came to terms with the fact that I have been on the hook and finally
took a stand against it. It has been 2 1/2-weeks and I am having a really hard time…any pointers single guy?
How many hours and seconds has it been, I know you are counting. Stop!
I will tell you, I am not one to give the cheesy text book phrases “Time heals all wounds”, “You will find someone
who deserves your love” Whoa, I am already getting a queasy stomach. Honestly, it sucks BIG time right? It’s a
struggle for sure, a whole new feeling to me...I am not used to being on this side of the playing field. Just know you
are not alone, this “single guy” is dealing with a hurt ego! “What? Someone actually turned me down?” Once I got
past that, I realized I am my own worst enemy. All I can tell you is remember to respect yourself, I have always
8
been known as self-absorbed when I end a relationship
(my first article was about this). RIGHT NOW, I am
Self-Absorbed…I need to be, and so do YOU! This is
on your terms NOW. Best advice I was given was “worry about YOU”. Any fisherman or woman will tell
you the story of “The one that got away” they don’t
ever forget that one and they won’t ever forget you. Just
remember, you chose not to accept the bait anymore.
Now you’re swimming and breathing just fine, no
longer a fish out of water struggling for air.
One cheesy line I will say (with my own ending
attached to it) is “if it is meant to be it will be”…just
DON’T count on it! Pay special attention to the last part
I added. It is not always our will, which is a blessing,
because we don’t always make the right decisions.
Birds and Bee’s and Controversy (Wow- it
rhymes)!
Got an email on my last issue’s article and wanted to
see your thoughts on it:
But reading your article gave me clarification that
southern women have ruined the dating standards for
me. Southern guys EXPECT sex because southern
women give in. Maybe it’s their insecurities and lack
of self confidence that makes them feel that they
have to in order to keep a man, but the lack of good
judgment has made it the dating norm. With this said,
I want to thank you for helping to bring light to one of
my biggest perplexities and for allowing me to realize
that there are still guys out there who think the way
that I do and therefore I do not need to change the
way I view dating. I want to feel special, respected,
and know that sex is an addition to what I have to
offer and not the sole reason.
I am going to leave this one up to you the readers, do
you agree with her? Is it a Southern thing or is she being
biased? You tell me? (Email me: aaronthesingleguy@
gmail.com)
What are your thoughts/opinions… Agree or
Disagree? Email me at aaronthesingleguy@gmail.
com
After reading your article in regards to sex and your
experience with southern women, I came to the
realization that I was not alone with feeling a sense
of astonishment towards the casualty and “Hippie”
style outlook on it. Growing up in the West, I am used
to being courted and “chased” for my affection. Sex
was typically not the subject of a conversation until at
least a few dates of getting to know a person. Maybe
I sound a little old fashion.....and believe me....I am
not old nor someone who looks like something out of
the little prairie. I am truly a city girl who has now
been exposed to the southern ways of dating. When I
began the dating process, I quickly learned the trend
that southern guys EXPECT sex on the first date! At
first I thought that I must just be attracting the wrong
type of guy, but as the dates kept coming, so did the
expectation for it. Baffled, I politely would reject
the offer which caused me to never receive a second
date.
After multiple similar situations, I began to feel “less
of a woman” and thought that maybe I HAD to “give
in” in order to feel like I belonged in the dating world.
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
Men In The Mirror Week
by Raven Woods
D
A
fter ages of soliciting an interview with Chopper Dayton, I finally got my wish—and for my 50th column!
Her dad, Chris, was reluctant for a long while, seeing as how he’s dubbed me a “heathen” for performing
dog weddings and thus questioned exposing Chopper’s “complex hound-dog psyche” to the likes of me
and my “moral turpitude.”
Doing a high-profile puppy interview turned out to be a breeze for Chopper, as she’s always been a social animal,
making appearances at happenin’ parties and her watering hole of choice, the Klatsch, where she likes to howl
between songs to show support of local musicians.
And let’s not forget the limelight that comes with having been “Senior Canine Greeter at Lowe Mill,” where Chris
once operated the greatest little library in the world called the Burning Nun.
So Chris not only caved to my hounding in the end but also gave Chopper the liberty of replying to my questions
without his censorship. As he explained, he “didn’t want to stifle her puppy essence.”
AJ: Please tell me, briefly, how you and your dad met and bonded.
CD: “I spent my youth running wild with my puppy litter pack in the rural backwoods of Owens
Cross Roads. We were on a foraging mission, and had penetrated the perimeter of a notorious pyroplant, looking for grub when I first saw the bearded giant I’ve grown to love. He tricked me with his
kindness, coaxing me into captivity. I have to admit I was initially a bit apprehensive. At first I played
hard to get, but when he held me it felt pretty good, so I went with it, and I have never looked back.”
AJ: What were you like as a puppy, and how have you changed as you’ve matured into a dog?
CD: “Jeeze! Was I ever a puppy! I must have been a paw-full. I had a lot of energy. There was a lot of running
and frolicking…there were just so many things to smell and gnaw on, people to enthusiastically greet. Also,
teething is rough…humans forget that. I’ve mellowed out quite a bit. I don’t bounce off the walls in the same way,
but on the inside I’m still a bit of a puppy…it is a state of mind.”
AJ: Please describe your philosophies on what it is to have a good dog life.
CD: “Two words: Gourmet dining. Pops does this thing with meat you wouldn’t believe. I’m getting Pavlovian
just thinking about it. Unfortunately, I love gourmet dining so much they put me on a diet. I also enjoy long walks
in the woods, sunning in the freshly cut grass, belly rubs and quality lap-time. I like to take it easy. Life’s really
about taking the time to stop and smell the poo.”
AJ: Please share a bit about your friends and family and your connection to the humans (and cat) in your
life.
CD: “I’ve met so many incredible humans. They like to pet me and feed me. That’s how’s I know they’re good.
Dad has the best friends…top shelf…like you, Auntie Jen. Treat? I also like the Grandparents—they’re very
liberal…with the treats. Chairman Meow is alright. At first I wasn’t into interspecies living. I didn’t understand
why Dad was integrating the household. I’m not saying we’re best friends, but sometimes we will curl up together
and snuggle. Nicholas, the Schnauzer next door, is still bent out of shape that Chairman is a ruthless Communist.
I’ve come to terms with it, but I don’t understand why he has to bring the bodies inside. Recently, I’ve been
spending a lot of time with a bitch named Mazzy. Good dog! Reminds me of myself when I was a pup.”
AJ: You’re very popular, Chopper. How do you stay so grounded and mellow with so many people making such
a fuss over how lovely you are? Do you do yoga?
CD: “I don’t do much yoga, but I do get regular puppy massages—that’s a nice stress reliever. With a little
guidance and good role models . . . it all comes in stride. I will often ask myself, ‘What Would Scooby Do?’
Reminders like that help me keep grounded and centered.”
Thanks, Chopper and Chris, for being great friends—and for being part of the reason I have Sharky, who
has taught me the meaning of true love. Had I not stopped at a convenience store en route to their house
on September 1, 2008, I wouldn’t have met that little puppy, wandering alone, waiting for us to choose one
another.
Many thanks to all my loyal readers!
uring the week of May 29th to June 5th, 2010, Michael Jackson tribute artists all over the world will be
honoring the humanitarian spirit of Jackson by giving back to their communities. The idea was inspired
after many fans were outraged by the negative media coverage of the Ricardo West story. West, a Michigan
bus driver who had, on occasion, moonlighted as an MJ impersonator was arrested and arraigned last April on
charges of sexually assaulting a young boy. Many fans were incensed that the media used the story to unfairly
dredge up the old allegations against Jackson—allegations for which the singer was fully acquitted and for which
no evidence was ever found against him. The truth was that the Ricardo West story had nothing whatsoever to do
with the “real” Michael Jackson, yet many media outlets salaciously used the “connection” to put a negative spin
on the story, often resorting to such salacious tactics as using the “real” Michael Jackson’s photo—rather than
West’s—when reporting the story. Obviously, though Michael Jackson had nothing to do with the incident, the
media could not resist the temptation to smear his name unfairly yet again.
The truth is that Jackson was one of the most noted-yet underrated-humanitarians of the past three decades. He
was listed in the 2000 edition of Guinness as the celebrity who had
contributed to the most charities-a list of over 39 charities total,
with over $300 million in donations.
Much of Jackson’s charitable work was done off the record and
beneath the radar. While some celebrities have earned public
kudos for their charity work because they always made sure to
have a camera rolling, much of Jackson’s work went unrecorded
and unrecognized—partly because he wanted it that way, but
also because sadly, in his last years, the media circus that his life
became overshadowed his work as a humanitarian.
Many people don’t know, for instance, that when on tour he would
always visit the orphanages and children’s’ hospitals of every city
he played, bringing toys and gifts. If he found conditions to be
poor (children being poorly fed; living in unsanitary conditions)
he would refuse to do his show until conditions were improved.
There are stories of him making 24-hour turnarounds of the
conditions in such places. When he was notified of children sick
or dying because they needed operations, he would pay for their
operations. In one instance, he spent nearly a year in search of a
liver for a small boy in Romania.
His hit song from 1988, “Man In The Mirror,” reminded us that we
have to look to ourselves to “make that change.”
The idea of the First Annual WorldWide Men In The Mirror Week
is for the millions of MJ tribute artists out there to honor the
humanitarian spirit of Jackson by doing whatever they wish to
do that week, as long as it is something done on a voluntary basis
(without pay) that gives back to their community—or wherever
they happen to be that week.
The call was put out, and many tribute artists have come forward and responded positively to the cause.
Surprisingly, one of those artists is from right here in Alabama, and he is considered to be not only one of the
premier Michael Jackson impersonators in the nation, but the only true MJ “impressionist.” He is Gadsden/
Rainbow City native Bobby Miller, aka B. Jackson. Miller has been impersonating Jackson ever since he was
eight years old. According to his bio page on his website, michaeljacksonimpressionist.com, Miller grew up in
the projects in a broken home, with no father influence in his life. His love for Michael Jackson helped fill some
of that void. But times were tough, since his mother was not only a single parent, but disabled as well. “Bobby
had to provide for himself at an early age, so he would perform for his mother’s house guests and in the local
neighborhood with a bucket to collect funds to help with the finances at home. Bobby made his first “Beat It”
jacket out of a brown paper sack from the local grocery store, where he drew zippers on it with a black magic
marker. He cut a pair of his church pants short at the bottom and wore tube socks with his penny loafers to create
his costume. Everyone was amazed by his dance moves. His moves were authentic and came very natural, as if
he had a special gift like Michael Jackson himself. Bobby studied Michael Jackson his entire life, learning every
song, and every dance move.”
Miller’s contribution to the First Annual WorldWide Men In The Mirror Week is tentatively set to be a visit
(and possible performance) at Children’s Hospital in Birmingham in early June, though the details are still being
worked out as of this writing.
However, a date that is set in stone—and which would give Huntsville residents a chance to check out Miller’s
nationally acclaimed talents without having to travel very far—is coming up on Friday, June 25th, 2010, the 1-year
anniversary of Jackson’s death. Miller is scheduled to perform a tribute show at Center Stage in Rainbow City,
Alabama. The show is part of
his “Tribute To The King” tour.
The show will start at 7pm,
and will also feature as special
guest Elvis impersonator Terry
Padgett. Tickets are $10 or
$20 for a VIP pass, and can
be purchased on Miller’s
website
at:
http://www.
michaeljacksonimpressionist.
com/tour.htm
I would like to extend my thanks
to Bobby Miller and to all of
the Jackson tribute artists from
across the nation and across the
world who are stepping up to
show that imitating “The Man”
means so much more than just
putting on the fedora, glove,
and loafers. It also means being
willing to walk the talk—or
maybe, we should say, to
moonwalk the talk.
THE VALLEY PLANET
MJ “impressionist.” Bobby Miller
# 060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
MJ “impressionist.” Bobby Miller
9
the valley’s most complete
MUSIC CALENDAR
Thursday, June 3
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Hot Rod Otis
CLUB RUSH, DJ Rosco
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Slip Jig
GENO’S PUB (DECATUR), Karaoke
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR),
Chad Reeves
HALF TIME BAR & GRILL, Karaoke
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Scott and Dan
HOG WILD SALOON, Karaoke w/ David
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Reese, duo
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Dave Anderson
KNIGHT MOVES, Talent Quest Karaoke
KNUCKLEHEADS, Bike Night/ Live Music
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
LISA’S LOUNGE, Talent Quest w/ DJ Rockin’
Robin
MAC’S SPORTSBAR AND STEAKHOUSE
(ATHENS), Open Mic w/ Trey
MARIA BONITA GRILL AND CANTINA
(DECATUR), Karaoke with DJ Pollard
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/Sweet T
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, DJ Keibot
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE (GUNTERSVILLE),
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
SPORTS VISION, Open Jazz Jam Session
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Live Music
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Country Grace
THE END ZONE, Open Mic Night
THE STATION, Karaoke
THE STATION 2, The Shake
VIEUX CARRE, Karaoke w/ DJ Brandon
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Barry
Kay
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
Night
WINGS, Clay O’Dell
Friday, June 4
11TH FRAME BAR, Karaoke
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Shametown
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Scott Morgan
BENCHWARMER, Karaoke
BENCHWARMER TOO, DJ Party
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Booga Funk
CARSON’S, Chelvis and the Bean
CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More with DJ
Roger
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (See ad pg.4),
Larry Woellhart
COPPERTOP, Fat Momma
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11) , Live Music
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
ELK’S LODGE, Karaoke
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Sing Along with Nancy
FURNITURE FACTORY, Live Music
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Stiff
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Big Daddy
Kingfish
HOG WILD SALOON, Bonafide
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolf
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Treo El Camino
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Live Music
KNUCKLEHEADS, Neon Grasshopper
LEE ANN’S, Full Circle
LENAE’S PLACE, Karaoke
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ Jimbo
LOWE MILL, Ken Watters
(ATHENS), DJ Chris Slayton
MOODY MONDAYS, Karaoke
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Juke Box Jim
music cont. on pg.11
Influence of Movies
by Sarah Gorman
I
n the past couple of years I’ve netflixed and rewatched some of the movies I remember watching repeatedly as a kid— The Brave Little Toaster;
The Lorax; Horton Hears a Who (the old one, from the
70’s); Mary Poppins; the old Romeo and Juliet and
Schindler’s List (I had unconventional parents). They
weren’t on all the time but I’d definitely seen each
movie more times than one hand full of fingers, maybe
even two.
After rewatching these movies, I started to see small
pieces of my current self in each of them. I talk to inanimate objects—not in a pathological way, but in the
way that they might care about my absence if I go on
vacation. I try to make art that is enchanting enough
to make the reader or viewer feel like they’re inside
of it—like the chalk painting Bert made that he, Mary
Poppins, Jane and Michael spent the afternoon in.
After rewatching The Lorax, the reality that part of
that story was inside of my current self really struck
me. I turned to my boyfriend and said, “wow, I was
indoctrinated as a kid.” It begins with a paradisiacal
world that ends up degrading into a wasteland because
the Once-ler, an entrepreneur, has found he can make
a great product out of the tops of the truffula trees that
flourish there. The degradation comes in stages and the
impact the factory has on each facet of the ecosystem
is explained by the Lorax who “speaks for the trees.”
It was and still is a favorite of mine, but it seemed so
apparent after watching it again that its impact on me
was epic.
There are small details or themes in each of these movies that I latched onto. Not only did they influence the
books I chose to read and the things I liked to study
later on in childhood; the ideas from these movies linger still in what I value, my politics and how I treat
people (and objects too) now (about twenty years later). Since I have no time machine, I can’t know what
was prior: whether I chose to watch these over and over
again because they espoused things I was interested in
or whether it was just chance that they were on and they
became what I was interested in.
Say it was the latter—that these movies were part of
what surrounded me in my home life growing up and
so the things relevant to those stories became ideas that
were relevant to me and to the adult I would become.
Something to think about while watching Desperate
Housewives or Jersey Shore or 24 while a younger
family member’s finishing their homework in the
room, isn’t it?
What’s strange is none of it was intentional. I know my
parents didn’t think, “well, we want her to grow up to
be a liberal environmentalist and we want her to value
humanity, so we will tailor what she’s exposed to based
on those ideas.” For one, I know my parents didn’t put
that much thought into parenting and two, it’s a strange
belief to hold (that movies you watched when you were
younger are partly responsible for who you become).
With the news that some educators in Texas are amending (intentionally whitening, Christianing and deThomas Jeffersoning) the history books that serve as
the template for books kids in schools all around the
US will learn their history from, it just makes me wonder: if something that seems as insignificant as ideas
from movies can have an impact on who a child becomes, what will happen when the ideas children are
exposed to labeled ‘knowledge’ have been deliberated
on, edited and finalized by a bunch of (not HISTORIANS, but) politically motivated teachers in Texas?–talk
about being indoctrinated as a child.
10
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
music cont. from pg.10
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Pla’Station
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Partner’s Cabaret
Show
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Angry Native
THE BRICK (DECATUR), J Curly Band
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Cheezee
THE END ZONE, Live Music
THE STATION, U4IA
THE STATION 2, David Merriman on the Patio,
Late Show w/Kozmic Mama
VIEUX CARRE, Divas Review
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Toy Shop
Saturday, June 5
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Christina Lynn
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Random Conflict
CARSON’S, Live Music
Open Mic Night
COPPERTOP, Dan Hardin
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Acoustics with Dave
Merriman
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Moondust Big
Band
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), 2
Days Gone
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Sideshow
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Black eyed Susan
LEE ANN’S, Love Child
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ Mike T.S.
(ATHENS), Karaoke w/ Allen
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Betty Roulette
Burlesque
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, The Uglistick
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Breakers
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Ant and Andrew
THE STATION, Handshake Promise
THE STATION 2, KUSH
THE STEM & STEIN, Live Acoustical Music
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Neon
Grasshopper w/ Fistful of Beard
Sunday, June 6
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Red Headed Step Child
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, The Leftovers
CASA MONTEGO, Devere Pride
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11) , Sanchez and
Terry Linen
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Donnie Cox
HOPPER’S, Karaoke with Lee Kearns
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Sunday Blues
Jam hosted by Freddy Earl and the Blues
Mercenaries
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Open mic night with
Marge Loveday and Alli Free
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke with
DJ Brandon Mac
WHISKEY’S, Open Mic Night
Monday, June 7
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Tuesday’s Hangover
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Karaoke w/ Howie
Karaoke w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic / Love
Child
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Acoustic Open Mic
hosted by Greg Rowell
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Dave Anderson
THE STATION 2, Microwave Dave
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Tim Tucker
Tuesday, June 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Marge Loveday
BENCHWARMER TOO, Open Mic Night
BISHOP’S EAST, Open Mic
BRIDGESTREET
(CONCERTS
IN
THE
COURTYARD), Pla’Station
COPPERTOP, HDK Karaoke with Howie
Karaoke w/DW
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Luke Dunkin Band
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
LISA’S LOUNGE, Open Mic
(ATHENS), Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, DJ Jeff Karaoke
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ Sweet T
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Chelvis and the Bean
THE STATION 2, Karaoke
VIEUX CARRE, Karaoke Contest
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Matt
Prater
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dave
Anderson
WINGS, Dave Anderson
Wednesday, June 9
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Dave
Anderson
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Microwave Dave
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Open Mic Night
CAZEDORES, Karaoke Night
CLUB RUSH, Doc Roc
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ LaGrange
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Bourbon and Shamrock
Karaoke w/DW
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Jerry Fordham
HOPPER’S, Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Pla’Station
LEE ANN’S, Proton Joe
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/Jimbo
MELLOW MUSHROOM (See ad pg.13),
Jonathon Laird
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, DJ Sweet T and DJ G
SAM & GREG’S, Open Mic Night
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Framing Handley
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Robert Lee
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Travis and Karlo
THE STATION 2, Ant and Andrew
VIEUX CARRE, Marge Loveday
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, James Irvin
Thursday, June 10
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Fat Momma
CLUB RUSH, DJ Rosco
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11) , Eyes Around
with special guest Review Ghosts
Chad Reeves
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Alibi
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Marge at Large
LEE ANN’S, Crush
Robin
Karaoke Contest
# 060310062310
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey Browder
THE STATION 2, The Redd Letter Duo
Kay
Night
Friday, June 11
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Live Music
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Silver Streak
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Relayer
CARSON’S, Live Music
Roger
Minhow Lu (Oriental Music)
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11) , Kris Allen with
special guest Green River Ordinance
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
GIANT (DECATUR), Neon Grasshopper w/
Lesser S
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Breakers
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Honey Island
Swamp Band
LEE ANN’S, Pla’Station
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/Jimbo TalentQuest
Contest
LOWE MILL, Lucky
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Todd Stovall
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Pac Sand
Show
Karaoke Contest
SPORTS PAGE, After the Crash
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Toy Shop
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Will Dooley
THE STATION, Black eyed Susan
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Live Music
Saturday, June 12
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Destined
CARSON’S, Chelvis and the Bean
Open Mic Night
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
COPPERTOP, Chicken Bonz
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11), DJ Dance Party
Merriman
Days Gone
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Full Circle
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Kozmic Mama
LEE ANN’S, The Letters
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w. Mike T.S.
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Pride of Kings
Karaoke Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Little Memphis Blue Orchestra
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Michelle Malone
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Gus Hergert
THE STATION, Black Label
THE STATION 2, Mambo Gris Gris
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Mississippi
John Doude
Sunday, June 13
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, The Travis Posey
Band
“Hailing from NYC, AGAINST THE WALL have a
take no prisoners approach to their music.” You can
see them June 9th at Sammy T’s!
11
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Bike Night w/
Jason Albert Band
Karaoke Contest
Kay
Karaoke
THE STATION 2, Max Russell
Mercenaries
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Lindsey Hinkle
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/
DJ Brandon Mac
WHISKEY’S, Open Mic Night
Monday, June 14
Karaoke w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic/Love
Child
12
Tuesday, June 15
BRIDGE STREET (CONCERTS IN THE
COURTYARD), The Fat Momma Band
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Missoula
Oblongata
Karaoke w/DW
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Ryan Griffin
LEE ANN’S, Shawna P and Adam Tyler Brown
Karaoke
THE STATION 2, Karaoke Tuesdays w/ Joel
Mullins
Prater
Anderson
Wednesday, June 16
Anderson
CLUB RUSH, Doc Roc
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ Fat Momma
Karaoke w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Black eyed Susan
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
MELLOW MUSHROOM (See ad pg.13), Jason
Herndon
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Brett Michaels with
special guest, Within Reason
SANDY’S
ROADHOUSE
(GUNTERSVILLE),
Karaoke Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Live Music
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Mike Roberts
THE STATION 2, Ant and Andrew
Thursday, June 17
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Bad Substitute
CLUB RUSH, DJ Rosco
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11), Halo Stereo and
Planet Ink
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Chad
Reeves
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, The Flatwoods
LEE ANN’S, The Letters
LISA’S LOUNGE, Talent Quest w/ DJ Rockin’ Robin
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
Friday, June 18
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Jim Cavender
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Snake Doctors
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Hired Guns
CARSON’S, Jonathon Carter
Roger
Mary Justice and Friends
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11) , DJ Fresh
Birthday Bash w/ Lil’ Scrappy and Bone, DJ VA
and DJ Skoot
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
EXCALIBUR VINTAGE & VINYL (DECATUR),
Neon Grasshopper
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Groove
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Pla’Station
LEE ANN’S, Full Circle
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/Jimbo TalentQuest
Contest
LOWE MILL, DJ Tito Nunez
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Cheezee
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Local Orbit
Show
SAM & GREG’S, Chip Gulbro and Friends
Karaoke Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Jason Albert Band
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Shawna P and the
Earthfunk Tribe
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Live Music
THE STATION, Crush
THE STATION 2, Kozmic Mama
Saturday, June 19
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Marge Loveday
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Metal Mania Night
CARSON’S, Gus Hergert
Open Mic Night
COPPERTOP, Donnie Cox
Merriman
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Huntsville
Swing Dance Society
FURNITURE FACTORY, Rob Aldridge
Days Gone
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Jason Albert
Band
THE VALLEY PLANET
Beer
Club
Monday Night is
Family Night
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Toy Shop
LEE ANN’S, Proton Joe
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/Mike T.S.
(ATHENS), Karaoke w/ Alan
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Live Music
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Black Label
THE BRICK (DECATUR), CO Jones
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Chad and Scott
THE STATION, Naked Eskimos
THE STATION 2, Patio Jazz, Late Night w/ Black
Eyed Susan
Sunday, June 20
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Fat Momma
Mercenaries
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke with
DJ Brandon Mac
WHISKEY’S, Devantacion Tour feat: COATL
(California), DIA DE JUICIO (Atlanta, GA) and THE
FACT (Athens GA)
Monday, June 21
Karaoke w/DW
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic/Love
Child
Karaoke
THE STATION 2, Microwave Dave
Tuesday, June 22
BRIDGE STREET (CONCERTS IN THE
COURTYARD), Ashley Smith
Karaoke w/DW
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Christina Lynn and
guest
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
THE VALLEY PLANET
Lunch
Specials
Shrooms 10 and under
Get a free slice and drink
THE STATION 2, Karaoke Tuesdays w/ Joel
Mullins
Prater
Anderson
Wednesday, June 23
Anderson
CLUB RUSH, Doc Roc
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP, Bike Night w/ Live Music
Karaoke w/DW
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Mike and Chad
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Motor City Josh
LEE ANN’S, Crush III
MELLOW MUSHROOM (See ad pg.13), Austin
Jennings
Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Robert Lee
ppy Ho u r
a
HMon thru Fri 3 to 7
Wednesday Night ive M u sic
L
e
r
Groovy A
e
tm os p h
Thursday, June 24
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Munkey’s Unkel
COCKTAILS, Planet 3
CROSSROADS (See ad pg.11) , Paul Thorn
Chad Reeves
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dawn Osborne
LEE ANN’S, Love Child
Robin
# 060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
13
Karaoke Contest
THE BRICK (DECATUR), J Curly Band
THE STATION, Redd Letters
THE STATION 2, The Redd Letter Duo
Kay
Night
Friday, June 25
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Scott Morgan
BANDITO
SOUTHSIDE,
Bourbon
and
Shamrock
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Toy Shop
CARSON’S, Gus Hergert
Roger
Two Old Men and songs
COPPERTOP, Lagrange
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Group 6
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Hashbrown
LEE ANN’S, Gryphon
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/JimboTalentQuest
Contest
LOWE MILL, Live Music
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Trey and Chip
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Munkey’s Unkel
Show
Karaoke Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Blood River
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Cheesebrokers
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Live Music
THE STATION, Radio Tremors
THE STATION 2, KUSH
Saturday, June 26
801 FRANKLIN (See ad pg.17), Pete & Lisa
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Evolfish/Local Orbit
CARSON’S, Marge Loveday
Open Mic Night
COPPERTOP, Tim Risbon
Merriman
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Cigar Box
Guitar Extravaganza
Days Gone
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Bar Flies
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Chris Cavanaugh,
band
14
LEE ANN’S, Second Hand Lincoln
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ Mike D.S.
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Kristy Lee
Karaoke Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Crawfish Bowl w/ 5ive O’clock
Charlie and Tuco’s Pistols
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Black Label
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Tony Brooks
THE STATION, Proton Joe
THE STATION 2, The Redd Letters
Sunday, June 27
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Pla’Station
Mercenaries
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/
DJ Brandon Mac
the end!
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Thursday, June 3
HAL5 (local chapter of the National Space Society) will
hold elections for officers at their monthly meeting
tonight at 7 pm at the Huntsville Madison County
Main Public Library at 915 Monroe Street. For more
information, go to HAL5.org or [email protected].
The exhibit, Encounters by Kathy Chann, will be at the
Huntsville Museum of Art now through August 16th.
This exhibit will emphasize Chan’s exquisite jewelry,
made of precious metals, hard stones and freshwater
pearls, and her painting and couture apparel. For more
information, go to www.hsvmuseum.org.
June 3-23
There will be an open enrollment for Stained Glass
Construction Summer Classes with Becca Mauldin. The
class will be in her studio on the 3rd floor, Pomegranate
Stained Glass, Studio 321, Lowe Mill public hours. For
more information, contact Becca Mauldin at 256-3482893 or go to www.lowemill.net.
The Mentone Arts Council will be having a Fourth of
July Arts Show on July 3-4. They are taking reservations
for artists, please email to Neal Whitt, President of the
Mentone Area Arts Council at [email protected].
Friday, June 4
Jim Parker’s Songwriter Series will be at the Von
Braun Center Playhouse at 6:30pm. The featured
performers will be Sally Barris, Don Henry, Tom Kimmel,
and host Jim Parker. For more information, go to
www.JimParkerMusic.com or jimpakermusic.com/
songwritershowcase.html.
There will be a Fixed Gear bicycle ride behind Bicycles
Etc. at 7pm every Thursday night. This is a casual, fun
paced social ride that usually ends with beer and/or
burritos. For more information, go to www.twofivefix.
blogspot.com
The Huntsville Progressive Alumni Chapter, Inc. 9th
Annual Leadership/Scholarship Banquet will be
held at 6pm at the Earnest Knight Reception Center
on the Campus of Alabama A&M University. For more
information, call 256-372-4719.
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have
Tremendous Treehouses now through summer.
Tremendous Treehouses offers fun, interactive handcrafted tree houses for kids of all ages. For more
information go to www.hsvbg.org or call 256-430-3571
The Alabama Opry will have Country and Western
Dance night every Friday. There is a $5 admission
charge. The Alabama Opry is located at 24861 Airport
Road in Athens, Alabama. For more information, call
George Hill at 256-206-0211.
June 3-5
The Academy of Dramatic Arts Spring Performances
“Doc, Doc, Goose”,“Big Bad”, & “Murder by Indecision”,
There will be a Truck and Tractor Pull at Billy Hunt Park
at 7pm. There is an admission charge. Billy Hunt Park is
located two miles south of AL/TN state line on highway
231. For more information, call 256- 759-1526.
REGIONAL CONCERTS
ATLANTA
June 3, Carole King, James Taylor, Gwinnett Center
June 3, Backstreet Boys, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 5, Daughtry, Gwinnett Center
June 6, Jethro Tull, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 6, Chayanne, Gwinnett Center
June 7, Styx and Foreigner w/ special guest Kansas, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 11, Jeff Beck, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 11, Maxwell, Phillips Arena
June 12, Maxwell and Jill Scott, Phillips Arena
June 13, KC and the Sunshine Band, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 18, The Boys, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center
June 19, Harry Connick Jr. Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 25, Emmylou Harris, Atlanta Botanical Gardens
June 26, Tony, Toni, Tone, Verizon Amphitheatre at Encore Park
June 28-29, Sting with the Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
June 30, Hole, The Tabernacle
July 1, REO Speedwagon and Pat Benatar, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
July 2, Earth, Wind, and Fire, Verizon Amphitheatre
July 3, Phish, Verizon Amphitheatre at Encore Park
July 9, She and Him, Atlanta Botanical Garden
July 14, The Scorpions, Verizon Amphitheatre at Encore Park
July 17, The Offspring, Aaron’s Amphitheatre
July 12, Chicago and the Doobie Brothers, Chastain Park Amphitheatre
July 17, Corey Smith w/ Colt Ford, Verizon Amphitheatre at Encore park
July 23, Melissa Ethridge, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center
BIRMINGHAM
June 11, Zac Brown Band, Verizon Wireless Music Center
June 12, Carrie Underwood, BJCC Arena
June 17, Lynryd Skynyrd w/ Brett Michaels and 38 Special, Verizon Wireless Music Center
HUNTSVILLE
June 4, Jim Parker’s Songwriter Series, VBCC Playhouse
June 5, Plies, Yo Gotti, Bun B, VBCC Arena
June 13, Jewel, VBCC Concert Hall
July 9, Jim Parker’s Songwriter Series, VBCC Playhouse
July 18, Shinedown, Puddle of Mudd, Sevendust, Chevelle, VBCC Arena
1st Friday Monkey Speak will be tonight at 8:30pm at
the Flying Monkey Arts Center. The admission price
is $5. Readers of poetry, short stories and more are
invited to participate. Mature audiences only. For more
information, go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
There will be an Introduction to Painting with Robert
Bean, at 3rd floor classroom, Lowe Mill. Every Friday
in June from 9am until 1pm. The class cost is $115.
Drawing experience is needed. For more information,
call Robert at 256-880-2006, email robertedwardbean@
hotmail.com, or go to www.lowemill.net.
June 4-5
The 5th Annual Watrace MusicFest, will be at the
Wartrace Horse Show grounds beginning Friday
at 2pm. Claire Lynch and Riders In The Sky will
perform. Tickets for this year’s festival are $15 for Friday,
$20 for Saturday and $30 for both days. The performers’
schedule and ticket information is available at www.
wartracemusicfest.org.
June 4-6
The Melodrama Dinner Theater presents, Belles
& Whistles. It will be at Trinity United Methodist
Church. The times are Friday at 6pm, Saturday at 2pm
and 6pm and Sunday at 2pm. For more information call
256-533-6606.
Saturday, June 5
The 2010 Summabamma Jam will be at the Von
Braun Center at 8:30pm. The Hip-hop/rappers, Plies, Yo
Gotti and Bun B will perform. For more information call
256-533-1953.
NASHVILLE
June 4, Puddle of Mudd, Wildhorse Saloon
June 5, Imogene Heap, Ryman Auditorium
June 7, Darius Rucker and Friends, Wildhorse Saloon
June 9, Marty Stuart, Ryman Auditorium
June 10-13 CMA Music Festival, LP Field
June 10, Blake Shelton Fan Club Party, Wildhorse Saloon
July 14, Ted Nugent, Wildhorse Saloon
June 15, Patty Griffin, Ryman Auditorium
June 29, Hole, Ryman Auditorium
#060310062310
The Flying Monkey First Friday Open
House will be tonight from 5pm until 8pm.
Local artists and others are invited to set up a booth at
the Flying Monkey Arts Center and sell their wares to the
public.There will be art, jewelry, vintage clothing, records,
and more interesting things for sale inside our facility.
For more information, go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.
org.
The HAMACON (Huntsville and Madison Anime
Convention) will be at Holiday Inn downtown 401.
There will be Williams Amy and Cosplay Contest, Gaming
Tournaments, Voice Actor Guests, Festival Drums and
much more. For more information, go to www.HAMACON.com.
MEMPHIS
June 5, Dianna Ross, Live at the Garden
June 5, Erykah Badu, Orpheum Theatre
July 9, Pat Benetar and REO Speedwagon, Live at the Garden
will be at Thespis Theatre, 8402 Whitesburg Drive. For
more information call 256-270-9636.
The Mentone Area Arts Council is proud to present a
series of four woodcarving workshops on Saturday
mornings during the month of June. It will be from
9:30am until 11:30 am at the Wildflower Café’ in
Mentone, Alabama.
events cont. on pg.15
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
events cont. from pg.16
The Decatur-Morgan County Convention and Visitors
Bureau is pleased to announce the return of free
guided walking tours in the month of June. The
one-hour walking tour will begin at 10 am at the Old
State Bank located at 925 Bank Street Northeast. For
more information, call the Decatur-Morgan County
Convention and Visitors Bureau at 256.350.2028 or
800.524.6181.
The Huntsville Ghost Walk will begin at the Harrison
Brothers Hardware Store promptly at 6 pm. Admission
is $8.00 for adults and $6.00 for children 12 and under.
For more information call 256-509-3940 or go to
huntsvilleghostwalk.com. Tickets are sold in advance at
Harrison Brothers.
The Madison County Democratic Women’s 4th Annual
Wine Party will be at the Terry Hutchens Building at
102 West Clinton Avenue. It will be from 5-7pm.
Tickets are $25, for more information email to,
[email protected].
The Legendary Alabama Coach Gene Stallings will
speak at Merrimack Hall, at 4pm. Coach Stallings will
speak about his career and life experiences as the father
of a child with special needs. The cost is $25 per person.
For more information, call 256-534-6455 or go to www.
merrimackhall.com.
There will be a Miniature Rose Show at Parkway Place
Mall from noon until 4pm. There is no admission charge
for this event. For more information, call 256-882-0899.
There will be a Contra Dance with live music by
Waxwing with calling by Gary Nelson. It will be in the
gym of Faith Presbyterian Church at the corner of
Airport and Whitesburg Drive. There will be a workshop
at 7pm and the dance from 7:30pm until 10:30pm. Go
to http://secontra.com/NACDS.html or call 256-8370656.
There will be a Youth Fishing Rodeo from 8:30 am until
noon. It will be at Braham Spring Park. There is no
admission charge for this event. For more information,
call 256-883-3728.
The Lucky Cat Alleycat Bike Race, a grassroots,
checkpoint type bicycle scavenger hunt/race, will begin
at 7pm. The proceeds will go directly to the non-profit
group Life Cycles Bicycle Co-op. For more information,
go to www.twofivefix.blogspot.com or http://twofivefix.
blogspot.com/2010/04/huntsville-lucky-cat.html.
The Handlers will be playing behind the Mentone Inn
at 7:30pm. It is $10 per person with proceeds benefiting
the Mentone Area Arts Council. The Handlers are a band
that is becoming the talk of their hometown of Fort
Payne, Alabama.
Art on Main will be in historic downtown Madison
from 9am until 4pm. It is sponsored by the Madison
Arts Council. For more information, go to www.madison
artscouncil.net.
June 5-6
The Huntsville Stamp Show will be at the UAH Bevill
Conference and Hotel. It will be Saturday 10am until
5pm and Sunday 10am until 4pm. There is no admission
charge for the event. For more information call 256-5367785.
Sunday, June 6
A preview party and reception for the Antiques
Roadshow Event will be from 6-8pm at the home of
Randy and Kelly Schrimsher. Tickets are $100 per
person. Reservations are required and can be made by
calling 256-536-2882.
There will be an art talk on The Many Facets of Jewelry
Making and Understanding Pearls, by Kathy Chan will
be in the Great Hall at the Huntsville Museum of
Art at 2pm. A tour of the exhibition will highlight key
examples touched on during the Art Talk. For more
information, go to www.hsvmuseum.org.
Bicycle Polo is played every Sunday at 4pm at the
corner of Lincoln/Holmes in downtown Huntsville.
More details are available at the facebook page for
Huntsville Bicycle Polo.
The Film Co-op monthly workshop meets in Don’s
Studio, at the Flying Monkey Arts Center from 2pm until
4pm. Admission is free and open to all. Also, if you have
a work in progress that you would like to discuss, bring
a sample to show. For more information, call Don at 256457-5371 or go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
THE VALLEY PLANET
Monday, June 7
The Burritt Museum Guild is hosting an “Antiques
Roadshow” event with J. Michael Flanigan from the
PBS program “Antiques Roadshow” at Burritt on the
Mountain.
Cost is $50 for each program. VIP admission is $125 and
includes lunch in the Mansion from noon until 1 pm
with Flanigan. The mansion will open after lunch for
touring. Reservations are required for all events and can
be made by calling 256-536-2882. For more information,
go to www.burrittonthemountain.com.
The Monaco Theatre at Bridgestreet will have
free family-friendly films at 10am. Every Monday
& Wednesday now through August 4th. For more
information, go to www.monacopicturesusa.com. (See
ad pg.10)
The United Cerebral Palsy of Huntsville and
Tennessee Valley, Inc. (UCP) invites young adults,
ages 18 to 30, with disabilities to join Marilyn Lands,
licensed professional counselor, on the first Wednesday
of each month, from 11:30 am-1 pm, for the Young
Adult Connections group. There is no cost to attend.
The meeting will be at the UCP Therapy Center
Conference Room, located at 2075 Max Luther Drive,
Huntsville. For more information, call UCP at 852-5600,
or go to ucphuntsville.org.
Concerts in the Park will be each Monday night now
through August 9th. The concerts are held in the East
Park section of downtown Huntsville’s Big Spring
International Park. The concert will be from 6:30pm
until 8pm. There is no Admission Charged and it is
open to the public. For more information go to, www.
artshuntsville.org, or call 256- 519-2787 (ARTS), ext. 205.
The Concerts by the River will be at Rhodes Park in
Decatur, Alabama from 6-8pm. Admission is free and
open to the public. There will be live music by Akoustik
Juice and the Terry McNeal Band. For more information,
go to www.decaturparks.com.
Tuesday, June 8
There will be an Artist Critique at the Flying Monkey
Arts Center at 7pm. Admission is free and open to all
visual artists. Bring an open mind. Leave your feelings
at the door. For questions, contact Mark Blevins at 256509-6545 or go to www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Sam and Greg’s Pizza and Gelato Café will have Improv
Games every Tuesday night. It is located downtown on
the square, in Huntsville. It will be at 7:30pm. Tickets are
$5. For more information, go to www. face2faceimprov.
com
The Dance Club presents the best in ballroom dancing
every Tuesday night at Roller Time skating rink, 707
Arcadia Circle with free lessons (East and West Coast
Swing) beginning at 7:30pm and dancing continuing
until 10:15pm. The cost is $5 for regular and $3 for
students. For more information email to Muriel email to
[email protected].
There will be a new painting class with Ginny Erickson.
It will be at 6pm, in Studio 324, Juxta Dream Gallery, at
the Lowe Mill. This class will be similar to the “paint
and take” classes happening all around the nation right
now. The cost is $30 and includes all materials. For more
information call Ginny at 256-479-7985 or go to www.
lowemill.net.
Wednesday, June 9
Come play Scrabble every Wednesday evenings from
6pm to 8pm at Panera Bread on Airport Road. All skill
levels are welcome and a board is not required. For more
information email [email protected] or go to
meetup.com.
ad pg.10)
There will be Shag Dance Lessons held at Hog Wild
every Wednesday night from 6:30pm to 7:30pm, with
dancing continuing until 8:30pm. The lessons are free
and partners are not required. For more information,
contact 256-533-7446 or go to www.hogwildcountry.
com.
Robert Bean will have an Introduction to Drawing Class
on the 3rd floor classroom at the Lowe Mill. It will be
every Wednesday in June. This workshop will consist of
# 060310062310
IMP Presents
BIG RIVER
The magnetism of Mark Twain’s timeless classic
sweeps us down the mighty Mississippi as the
irrepressible Huckleberry Finn (Brad Howard) helps
his enslaved friend Jim (Tyrone Sumlin) escape to
freedom.
Their adventures along the way are hilarious,
suspenseful, and heartwarming, bringing to life
everyone’s favorite characters from the novel—Huck’s
partner in crime, Tom Sawyer (Jonathan McDowell
), and their rowdy gang of pals; the uproarious King
(Dave Schulte) and Duke (Patrick Johnson/Jeff
Stricklin), who may or may not be as harmless as
they seem; Huck’s drunken, ne’er-do-well father, the
sinister Pap Finn (Jim Zieli ski); the wealthy Widow
Douglas (Amy Jackson) and her stern sister, Miss
Watson (Susan Stricklin); and the lovely Mary Jane
Wilkes (Mary Becher) and her trusting family.
Propelled by a multi-award-winning score (“Waiting
for the Light to Shine”; “River in the Rain”; “Hand for
the Hog”) from country music king Roger Miller, this
riverine ramble is a brilliantly theatrical celebration of
pure Americana. Big River’s many honors range from
Tony Awards for “Best Musical,” “Best Original Score,”
and “Best Book of a Musical” to Drama Desk Awards
for “Outstanding Music,” “Outstanding Orchestration,”
and “Outstanding Lyrics.” It’s proven a favorite with
professional and community theaters nationwide, even
winning multiple awards in its previous IMP and Lee
High School incarnations, including the 1998 WINGS
Award for “Best Production.”
Jim, a runaway slave trying to find his family up
North. Setting out on Jim’s raft, the duo soon gains
two new compatriots, the Duke and the King…who
have their own agenda. After a series of adventures
and reuniting with his best friend, Tom, Huck discovers
that Miss Watson has passed away and, in her will, has
given Jim his freedom. Thus, Huck’s liberated friend
can search for his wife and children on his own…while
Huck himself decides to move out West, where no one
can “sivilize” him.
Directed by P.J. Sligting with assistance from IMP
founder Vivienne Atkins, the show runs Friday-Saturday,
18-19 June and Thursday-Saturday, 24-26 June at 7:30
p.m., with 2:30 p.m. matinées on Sunday, 20 June and
Saturday, 26 June. Big River is being performed in
tandem with the Huntsville-Madison County Public
Library’s BIG READ Program. All shows take place
at Lee Lyric Theatre, Lee High School, 606 Forrest
Circle, NE in Huntsville. General Admission Tickets
are $22 – Adults; $20 – Students/Seniors/Military;
and $15 – Children under twelve. A Family Pack
(six tickets) is $75. They may be purchased at the
following ticket outlets or by calling (256) 337-9071:
Harrison Brothers Hardware; A.B. Stephens Music;
Off Campus Bookstore; The Greenery; and The Arts
Council, Inc. Visit www.imphuntsville.org for more
info on this and future IMP productions.
In Big River, as Huck continues his reckless, adventureloving ways, the alcoholic and violent Pap Finn
demands custody over the boy. Unable to prevent the
inevitable, a Judge forces the boy to comply. Fearing
for his life, Huck flees, eventually meeting up with
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
15
demonstrations, instruction and hands on experience.
For more information, call Robert at 256/880-2006 or
email [email protected], or go to www.
lowemill.net.
Thursday, June 10
The Tennessee Valley Civil War Round Table: Richard
M. McMurry will speak on “A New Framework for Civil
War Military History”. The presentation will examine
the study of Civil War military history from a new
perspective. McMurry will speak at the Elks Lodge, 725
Franklin SE, North entrance, at 6:30pm. It is free to the
public; a chicken dinner buffet is available at 5:30 pm
for $7.95. For more information, call 890-0890 for more
information.
June 11-19
The 2010 Riverband Festival will be in Chattanooga,
TN. Some of the featured performers are: Sheryl Crow,
Alison Krauss, Darius Rucker, Billy Currington, The Charlie
Daniels Band, Drivin’ n Cryin’, Dan Baird, Uriah Heep,
and many more.The festival features five stages of world
class music, fabulous fireworks, a 5K & 10K Run and a
fun-filled Children’s Village. For more information and an
updated list of performers, visit www.riverbendfestival.
com.
Friday, June 11
Angel’s Island Coffee will have Scene Dominoes and
Improv Games at 7pm. It is located at 7538 Memorial
Parkway in Huntsville. It is beside Rosie’s Cantina. Tickets
in advance are $8 and $12 the day of the show. For more
information, go to www. face2faceimprov.com
The American Red Cross hosts, The 7th Annual, Touch
of Red Gala. It will be at 6pm at the Von Braun Center
North Hall. Individual tickets are $100. There will be a
dinner, live auction and live music by Juice. For more
information go to, www.redcrossrelief.org or call 5360084, extension 221.
The City Lights Concert #3 will be at Burritt on the
Mountain. It begins at 7pm featuring guitarist, Jason
Vieaux. For more information, call 256- 536-2882 or go
to www.burrittonthemountain.com.
June 11-13
The Opera: The Ballad of Baby Doe will be at the Von
Braun Center Playhouse.
It will be Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday at
2:30pm. For more information call 256- 535-6564.
Saturday, June 12
State Bank located at 925 Bank Street Northeast.
Knowledgeable guides will escort participants through
the Old Decatur Historic District, sharing neighborhood
history, entertaining stories and even some “tall tales”
from Decatur’s past. For more information, call the
Decatur-Morgan County Convention and Visitors
Bureau at 256.350.2028 or 800.524.6181.
The Alabama Democratic Conference 11th Annual
Golf Tournament will be at 1pm at Colonial Golf
Course. The entry fee is $ 260.00 per team of four or
$65.00 for individual. For entry form and additional
information, contact Eddie Sherrod, Tournament
Director, 256- 881-9529 or 256-508-1782.
The Alabama Opry will have a Country Music Concert
featuring, Charlie Louvin, Trey Young, Brenda Best, and
others. It will begin at 7pm. There is a $10 admission
charge. The Alabama Opry is located at 24861 Airport
Road in Athens, Alabama. For more information, call
George Hill at 256-206-0211.
Sunday, June 13
The Huntsville Museum of Art is excited to announce
a new juried exhibition of artwork, Imagine Tomorrow,
which looks ahead toward the mystery of tomorrow.It will
be on view June 13 through September 12,2010. Imagine
Tomorrow features selections from children, university
students, art teachers/professors and professional artists
– all residents of the Huntsville/Madison community. For
more information, go to www.hsvmuseum.org.
June 13-20
The Tennessee Valley Jazz Society’s 24th Annual Jazz-NJune Festival, will take place throughout the HuntsvilleTennessee Valley area. There will be a variety of activities
and artists’, performing 8 days and nights, of some of
the Southeast’s best jazz. For more information about
this event, call the Jazz-Lin at 256-604-8172 or email
[email protected]. (See ad pg.2)
16
Monday, June 14
through August 9th. Tonight’s concert is Armed Forces
Week and the concert will be at Joe Davis Stadium.
There is no admission charge and it is open to the public.
It will be from 6:30pm until 8pm. For more information
go to, www.artshuntsville.org, or call 256- 519-2787
(ARTS), ext. 205.
ad pg.10)
open to the public. There will be live music by Dorothy
Cole as Tina Turner. For more information, go to www.
decaturparks.com.
June 15-16
There will be a US Army Soldier Show at the VBC
Concert Hall. It will be Tuesday at 7pm and Wednesday
at 3pm and 7pm. Tickets are free and may be picked up
at the Chamber of Commerce. For more information,
call 256-876-5431 or go to www.redstonemwr.com.
(See ad pg.20)
Send in your random encounters today. It’s FREE!!
Choice 1. I Saw you, but you didn’t catch my name
Choice 2. You saw me or you think you were seen
Choice 3. Cheers: Pay your respect to those who deserve it
Choice 4. Jeers: Frustrated? Tell us all about it
To send in your FREE ad
1. Pick a category, word limit is 40 words. No names, just initials if you want.
2. Meet the deadline.
3. Get it to us: Put “To Yuno from Yunohoo” in the subject line of the email and send to [email protected] or phone it in 564-7017.
I Saw You/ To Yuno
Wednesday, June 16
Club Rush will have Salsa Night with Salseroblanko
on the first and third Wednesday’s of each month. Club
Rush is located at 109 North Side Square. For more
information email to salseroblanko@salseroblanko.
ccsend.com
I think I’m in love with the bartender at the Station/Bridgestreet – I’m the one at the end of the bar all the time!!
ad pg.10)
To the Freak in the Home Depot parking lot – no one wants to see it AND I will call the police again!
June 16-17
The Madison/Marshall County Chapter American
Red Cross is now enrolling participants in the Lay
Responder Instructor Course. Learn to teach
American Red Cross first aid and CPR/AED courses. Find
schedule information and online enrollment at www.
redcrossrelief.org or call 536-0084 x 210.
Thursday, June 17
The Sidewalk Arts Stroll will be in downtown
Huntsville around the Courthouse Square. It will be
from 4:30pm until 8:30pm. For more information, go to
www.sidewalkartsstroll.com.
The Thursday Evening Concert at the Library will
be at 6pm on the first floor Atrium at the HuntsvilleMadison Public Library. Jim Cavender & Ivy Joe Milan
& Friends will perform. For more information, call 256532-5975
5 points steakout girl – I will be ordering more delivery!!
Kassy - I really did want to come in, but was afraid I’d get fired or your boyfriend would come home. Woman, you
are some kind of hot. You can just look at some women and know they’d be good.
hey you, playing the drums with your sunglasses on at the kaffeeklatch last saturday night..i sent you a shot of
tequila but you never got up to thank me..i will be there next time you play, please stop and talk to me!
To the hottie with the short dark hair who works the morning shift at the Shell Mart on Danville Road in Decatur.
Your voice is as deep as a man’s and that drive’s me crazy, I love man voices when they aren’t attached to one. I’ll
get my courage up soon.
Lynn S., will you marry me? From Yunohoo
SC – Enjoying your “free” jeans, I know I am!
JEERS
I guess alone time means alone time; you didn’t even want to share cyber, phone or text sex while you were gone.
I get it.
Nicole, know we still think you are a lowdown, manipulating, lying, heartless slut for what you did to J. I’ll write
part two of that story soon. Count on it.
To the Hardees girl at the pick up window, keep your bad day to yourself!
To the idiot who lets his pit bull run loose near Chadwell St in Decatur. Keep him out of my yard! What part of
leash law do you not understand?
Friday, June 18
Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center will host Parents’
Night Out from 5:30-9pm. Parents can drop off their
children where they will enjoy dinner, age-appropriate
science activities, and time with Sci-Quest hands-on
exhibits. This program is for children ages 4-12. The cost
is $20 for the first child and $15 for each additional child
in the same family. For more information call, 256-8370606, ext. 252 or go to www.sci-quest.org.
P - I’m never shaving this thing again for you, ever. It itches like hell and the 8 yr. old look you like makes me
wonder about you anyway.
June 18-20
The musical adaptation of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn,
Big River, will be presented by Independent Musical
Productions (IMP) at Lee Lyric Theater located at Lee
High School. It will be Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm
and Sunday at 2:30pm. For tickets and information go to
www.imphuntsville.org. (See ad pg.15)
Thanks to a butterfly that showed me a competitive game in which everyone wins. :) BEC
The Renaissance Theatre presents Wedding Belles on
the Alpha Stage. It will be Friday and Saturday at 8pm
and Sunday at 2:30pm. For more information, call 256536-3117 or go to www.renaissancetheatre.com.
Saturday, June 19
Bureau is pleased to announce the return of free guided
walking tours in the month of June.The one-hour walking
tour will begin at 10 am at the Old State Bank located at
925 Bank Street Northeast. For more information, call the
Decatur-Morgan County Convention and Visitors Bureau
at 256.350.2028 or 800.524.6181.
Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center will have a new
exhibit Space: A Journey to Our Future, opening
Saturday, June 19th. It is one of the largest touring exhibits
ever produced on space exploration.This exhibit will be at
Rex, word’s out you’re telling everyone you got eight inches; if you do, spit it out, it’s not yours. I’ve seen it.
L - i was just having fun and didn’t mean to push you beyond where you wanted to go. No wonder people hide their
deepest fantasies. They don’t want to end up feeling sad and stupid. - R.
Cheers
Cheers to Thomas at Krogers – you are always so friendly!!
Sci-Quest until September 6, 2010. For more information,
go to www.sciquest.org or call 256-837-0606 for current
information
The 2nd Annual Rollin’ on the River Car Show will be
in Downtown Decatur from 3pm to 9pm. The familyfun event also features a kids’ play area, food vendors,
door prizes, and live music by The Decoys beginning at
6 pm. Admission is free. The pre-registration fee to enter a
vehicle in the show is $15 per car until June 1. After June 1,
the registration fee is $20 per car to participate. For more
information, visit www.morganhabitat.org or call Landis
Griffin at 256-340-9609.
There will be a Contra Dance with live music by Wolves A
Howlin’and calling by Rob Harper. It will be in the gym of
Faith Presbyterian Church at the corner of Airport and
Whitesburg Drive. All ages are welcome: singles, couples
and families. There will be a workshop at 7pm and the
dance from 7:30pm until 10:30pm. Admission is $10/$5
students and free for ages 12 and under. Go to http://
secontra.com/NACDS.html or call 256-837-0656.
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
The Alabama Opry will have a Rock and Roll Review
featuring songs of Rock Legends. It will begin at 7pm.
There is a $10 admission charge. The Alabama Opry is
located at 24861 Airport Road in Athens, Alabama. For
more information, call George Hill at 256-206-0211.
Crash Boom Bang! Theatre presents “Connector
Lounge” - music and standup at 9pm, downstairs at the
Lowe Mill. There is a $5 cover. For more information, go
to www.crashboombangtheatre.com.
June 19-20
There will be a Military Collector’s Show at the Jaycee’s
Building, at 2180 Airport Road in Huntsville. For more
information, call 256- 651-7302.
Sunday, June 20
Come fly with Madison United Methodist Church, 127
Church Street, Madison. (the third Sunday of each month
in 2010) from 1:30 - 4 pm, inside the MUMC Christian Life
THE VALLEY PLANET
The time is right for the patio at 801!
Happy Hour Specials
4-6 Monday through Friday
Live Music Friday & Saturday
Center Aerodrome. Free for all ages. Bring your small
electric R/C planes and helicopters and fly, or learn to fly
on the FSOne flight simulator. For more information call
Jim Marconnet at (256) 772-3946 or visit http://www.
rcgroups.com/forums/showthread.php?t=898132.
Monday, June 21
The Huntsville Traditional Music Association, Coffee
House will be at 7pm at Burritt on the Mountain. The
performer will be Ken Hinkle and then Shane Adkins.
For more information, go to www.huntsvillefolk.org.
through August 9th. The majority of our concerts are
held in the East Park section of downtown Huntsville’s
Big Spring International Park. The concert will be
from 6:30pm until 8pm. There is no Admission Charged
and it is open to the public. For more information go
to, www.artshuntsville.org, or call 256- 519-2787 (ARTS),
ext. 205.
ad pg.10)
open to the public. There will be live music by Reginald
Jackson and Friends. There will also be a free movie,
Where the Wild Things Are. For more information, go to
www.decaturparks.com.
Tuesday, June 22
There will be a new painting class with Ginny Erickson.
It will be at 6pm, in Studio 324, Juxta Dream Gallery, at
the Lowe Mill. This class will be similar to the “paint
and take” classes happening all around the nation right
now. The cost is $30 and includes all materials. For more
information call Ginny at 256-479-7985 or go to www.
lowemill.net.
Flying Monkey Arts will have Artist’s Round Table at
7pm. Admission is free and will be at the Amen Break
Studio (Studio 263). For more information, go to www.
flyingmonkeyarts.org.
June 21 -25
There will be a Watercolor Workshop with Stan Miller
at the Huntsville Museum of Art. It will be from 9am
until 4pm. The cost for the workshop is $500. For more
information or registration, contact, Donna Campbell,
256-880-9466, email: [email protected] or Judy
Roper, 256-536-8962, email: [email protected].
June 21-June 25
The Arts Council’s 13th Annual Summer Day Camp
will be at the Lowe Mill. Attendees choose between
photography, drama, dance, music, and literary
arts. There is Full-day camp cost is $150 and early pickup
camp cost is $125. The sessions are available for ages 6 15 years of age.The Deadline for applications is Monday,
June 14. Call Vicky at 256- 519-2787 (ARTS), ext. 206 for
further information.
Wednesday, June 23
ad pg.10)
THE VALLEY PLANET
June 23-27
ATHFEST arts and music festival will be in historic
downtown Athens, GA...This year, close to 200
bands and artists will perform over the course of
festival. For more details go to: www.
ATHFEST.COM
<http://www.ATHFEST.COM>
Thursday, June 24
The North Alabama Songwriters workshop is an
official Nashville Songwriters Association International
(NSAI) regional workshop. Meetings are 4th Monday
night of each month. For more information, go to
www.northalabamasongwriters.com, email info@
northalabamasongwriters.com, or call 256-682-2564.
Burritt on the Mountain will have a Murder Mystery
Game and Dinner. It will be at 6:30pm at Burritt
Museum. For more information, call 256- 533-1365 or
go to www.burrittonthemountain.com
The Thursday Evening Concert at the Library will
be at 6pm on the first floor Atrium at the HuntsvilleMadison Public Library. For more information, call 256532-5975
June 24-26
The musical adaptation of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn,
Big River, will be presented by Independent Musical
Productions (IMP) at Lee Lyric Theater located at Lee
High School. It will be Thursday and Friday at 7:30pm
and Saturday at 2:30pm. For tickets and information go
to www.imphuntsville.org. (See ad pg.15)
June 24-27
The University of North Alabama’s Summer Theatre
series presents the Production of Greater Tuna. The
comedy is about small town American life, with two
actors portraying all of the characters in the play. The
performances will be in the Guillot University Center
Performance Center at 7:30 pm June 24-26, and at 2
pm, June 27. For more information go to,www.una.edu/
summer-theater for additional information.
The Renaissance Theatre presents Wedding Belles on
the Alpha Stage. It will be Thursday, Friday and Saturday
at 8pm and Sunday at 2:30pm. For more information,
call 256-536-3117 or go to www.renaissancetheatre.
com.
Friday, June 25
Ars Nova will have Scene Dominoes at 7pm. It is
located at 7908 Charlotte Drive in Huntsville. Tickets in
advance are $8 and $12 the day of the show. For more
information, go to www.face2faceimprov.com.
June 25-27
The Christian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses
(CCJW) announced that Huntsville will host three
conventions this summer. The CCJW conventions are
scheduled to be held June 25-27, July 2-4 and July 9-11.
For more information contact Charles Winters at 256551-2235.
Saturday, June 26
State Bank located at 925 Bank Street Northeast. For
more information, call the Decatur-Morgan County
Convention and Visitors Bureau at 256.350.2028 or
800.524.6181.
# 060310062310
Kenny Mangos will have Short Scene from 7-9pm. It is
located at Madison Market at
97 Hughes Road, in Madison. Tickets in advance are $10
and $14 the day of the show. For more information, go
to www.face2faceimprov.com.
Summerfest will be in downtown Huntsville from
5pm until 2am. There will be live music with Drivin’ n
Cryin’ and Corey Smith. There is an admission charge for
this event. For more information, call 256-539-9974.
Sunday, June 27
There will be an Art Talk on the Discovery of Silk and
its Use in Fashion by Kathy Chan. Mrs. Chan explores
the world of silk, the fabric of royalty. It will be at 2pm
in the Great Hall of the Huntsville Museum of Art. A tour
of the exhibition with a focus on fashion will follow. For
more information, go to www.hsvmuseum.org.
Monday, June 28
Concerts in the Park will be each Monday night
now through August 9th. Most concerts are held
in the East Park section of downtown Huntsville’s
Big Spring International Park. The concert will be
from 6:30pm until 8pm. There is no admission charge
and it is open to the public. For more information go
to, www.artshuntsville.org, or call 256- 519-2787 (ARTS),
ext. 205.
open to the public. There will be live music from the
Sophisticated Swingers and Taylor McClain. For more
information, go to www.decaturparks.com.
June 28-30
The Princess Theatre will offer a variety of a variety of
different summer camps for children. For registration
forms, camp costs and more information, call 256-3401778 or go to, www.princesstheatre.org.
June 28 – July 2
The Arts Council’s 13th Annual Summer Day Camp
will be at the Lowe Mill. Attendees choose between
photography, drama, dance, music, and literary
arts. There is Full-day camp cost is $150 and early pickup
camp cost is $125. The sessions are available for ages 6
-15 years of age. These workshops focus on one area of
study taught by local professionals and will take place
based upon registration. The Deadline for applications
is Monday, June 14. Call Vicky at 256- 519-2787 (ARTS),
ext. 206 for further information.
the end!
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VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
Sci-Fi Review:
Dead Romance
by Matthew Kresal
“All right, let’s start with the basics. The world ended
on the twelfth of October, nineteen seventy...”
With that sentence begins the novel Dead Romance by
Lawrence Miles. Originally published in 1999, it has
gained a strong reputation over the years that has only
grown with this reprinted edition from Mad Norwegian
Press. Though written originally as part of a series of
Doctor Who spin-off novels, it can be enjoyed now
for a different reason, for being the best science fiction
novel you’ve never read.
The two protagonists of
Dead Romance are two
fascinating characters.
The first is Christine
Summerfield, a 23 year
old London based drug
addict who, after waking
up in an empty lot, finds
herself caught up in an
incredible tale of aliens,
time
travelers,
and
universes in bottles. Yet
despite all the incredible
events going on around
her, Christine retains
her wit and sarcasm
even when the end of the world is literally at hand. It
is Christine’s characterization and how she interprets
both the world and the incredible events around her that
makes up much of the novels success.
Not that she’s alone, mind you, as we are soon
introduced to Chris Cwej. Working for a mysterious
alien race of time travelers, Chris is the man who leads
her through this incredible world, and who becomes her
lover as well. Chris is a damaged man with distorted
memories of his past who harbors a secret about
Christine’s past that gets shockingly revealed towards
the novel’s end. In fact it is the relationship between
these two characters that make up the emotional and
physical center of this science fiction story. Together
they put a human face on this epic story.
Dead Romance stands out because of its format and its
plot. Christine’s notebooks show us how she interprets
both the world and the incredible events around her.
That helps make the novel’s plot even better. Inside
Dead Romance is an incredible tale of universes
and worlds on the brink of destruction told from the
perspective of a 23 year old drug addict forced into an
incredible world of aliens, time travelers, and universes
in bottles where nothing is what it seems - yet all the
while giving frank opinions on both society and the
science fiction genre at large.
With its characters, narrative approach and fantastic
plot (it’s got aliens, time travelers, universes in bottles,
sex, drugs and the end of the world all in less then
two hundred pages) author Lawrence Miles, through
Christine Summerfield, shows us what science fiction
can be at its best. Even though technically a Doctor
Who spin-off, if you know nothing about the show you
can still enjoy Dead Romance. Why? Because Dead
Romance is the best science fiction novel you’ve never
read.
17
ReLit: Smokin’ Hot Reads
Worth
a ReKindle.
by Rick Thomason
D
irty Work by Larry Brown. This isn’t your
summer beach read, unless you are like me, and
want something to get your mind off the sand
in every orifice you brought with you, something to
help block the glare of the Gulf Coast sun on the oily
waters and the few patches of snow white sand that still
stand like innocent little islands among BP’s crude on
the beach.
Brown’s Dirty Work is one of the most compelling
and powerful novels I have ever read. If you want to
know about war and the aftermath, and the effects of the
Vietnam War on the physically and mentally maimed
veterans this book is for you.
It is, frankly, disturbing in its realism and profoundly
touching in the manner Brown leads men of different
races with different injuries to lose their distrust, become
friends, and ultimately gain the understanding only your
best of best friends might ever understand.
I was reading reviews and came across the words of a 17
year old, who like many students hate being assigned to
read anything other than IMs and Texts.
“I was assigned to read just one chapter of this book
as part of an advanced high school English class. The
teacher had used a marker to blot out all the curse words.
That one chapter affected so many people in the class
that, over the next few weeks, many of us went out and
got the book. The characters were that rich and the plot
was that compelling that it got high school kids to read
it on their own! That was when I was 17. Now I give the
book often as a gift to friends at Christmas. I am now a
literature major at a major university and still regard this
as simply one of the most powerful novels I have ever
read and constantly enjoy returning to it.”
A
s untold millions of Valley Planet readers know,
the Dr. Anarcho music reviews are all about,
“Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck.”
You gotta love Wikipedia for obscure stuff that few casual music lovers know.
Mick Jagger wrote “C***sucker Blues” and it was recorded in 1970 to be the Stones’ final single for Decca
Records as per their contract. Its context and language
was chosen specifically to anger Decca executives. The
track was refused by Decca, although promotional 12”
singles of it were pressed in the US, and was only officially released later on a West German compilation in
1983, although the compilation was discontinued and
since re-released without the song.
C***sucker Blues was also an unreleased documentary
film directed by Robert Frank chronicling The Rolling
Stones’ North American tour in 1972 in support of their
album Exile on Main Street. The film itself is under a
court order which forbids it from being shown unless
the director is physically present. This ruling stems from
the conflict that arose when the band, who had commissioned the film, decided that its content was inappropriate and didn’t want it shown. The director felt otherwise
and thus the ruling. However, bootleg copies of the film
are available. And No, I don’t have a copy.
That bit of trivia aside, there was another momentous
Stones’ release in 1972.
Exile on Main St. was the tenth studio album by The
Rolling Stones. Released as a double LP in May 1972,
it draws on many genres including rock & roll, blues,
country and soul and calypso. Exile on Main St. was
initially greeted by reviewers with condemnation or
high praise, but it has since become almost universally
regarded as a masterpiece. You may have noticed that
critics are often full of s**t.
There was a momentous occasion on May 18th, 2010;
the Rolling Stones’ Exile on Main Street was rereleased,
repackaged, redone, revised, reBBC lived stuff added
and a whole ‘nother reassortment of bells and whistles
and other rethings to reinflate the reprice of the Supderduper Vinyl LP / CD /DVD set to a list price of only
$179.95.
WTF? That cheap?
I was damn near trampled at the CD store when I queued
up for my copy.
“BUT WAIT!” Billy Mays screams from the grave,
(Didn’t you expect him to scream that as they lowered
him into the ground?) “For a limited time only, Amazon
.com will sell you a limited number of bargain copies
for a mere $136.89 – an unbelievable 24% saving of
$43. 09, but you have to order by midnight June 1st,
2525 to take advantage of this special offer.
“But there’s more!” The first 100 lucky callers who prepay by credit card get an exact life-sized rubber mask
replica of Keith Richards’ face, the wrinkles of which
are guaranteed to hold a three-day rain, enough water to
sustain a family of four for up to two months.
& roll history. The group, which formed in London in
1962, distilled so much of the music that had come before it and has exerted a decisive influence on so much
that has come after. Only a handful of musicians in any
genre achieve that stature, and the Stones stand proudly
among them.”
There’s even a nasty underground argument that The
Rolling Stones have had more influence on Rock Music
than The Beatles. If someone has to be number one, a
compelling case may be made for either group. IMHO,
I can see both sides of the argument and refuse to take
one because each group was more influential than the
other for different reasons in different areas.
I will go out on a limb and say there’s little doubt the
Rolling Stones continue to do more in the Rock Music
world than The Beatles, but with two of them dead, it’s
hard for the Beatles to compete.
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck is: The
Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street (Super Deluxe
CD/DVD/Vinyl) [Box set] [Colour] [Enhanced] [Extra
tracks] [Limited Edition]
I have but one stipulation to this recommendation; while
I love the music, if I’m going to shell out 180 bucks on a
remastered box set from any group of old c***suckers,
that c***sucker with the blues Jagger wrote about in
1970 better jump out of the box and get to work.
Side one
1.“Rocks Off”
2.“Rip This Joint”
3.“Shake Your Hips”
4.“Casino Boogie”
5.“Tumbling Dice”
4:31
2:22
2:59
3:33
3:45
Side two
6.“Sweet Virginia”
7.“Torn and Frayed”
8.“Sweet Black Angel”
9.“Loving Cup”
4:25
4:17
2:54
4:25
Side three
10.“Happy”
3:04
11.“Turd on the Run”
2:36
12.“Ventilator Blues” (Jagger/Richards/Taylor)
3:24
13.“I Just Want to See His Face”
2:52
14.“Let It Loose”
5:16
Side four
15.“All Down the Line”
3:49
16.“Stop Breaking Down” (Robert Johnson) 4:34
17.“Shine a Light”
4:14
18.“Soul Survivor”
3:49
2010 bonus CD tracks
1.“Pass the Wine (Sophia Loren)”
2.“Plundered My Soul”
3.“I’m Not Signifying”
4.“Following the River”
5.“Dancing in the Light”
6.“So Divine (Aladdin Story)”
7.“Loving Cup” (Alternate take)
8.“Soul Survivor” (Alternate take)
9.“Good Time Women”
10.“Title 5”
4:54
3:59
3:55
4:52
4:21
4:32
5:26
3:59
3:21
1:47
Music critics can agree on this much; “It is hard to overestimate the importance of the Rolling Stones in rock
18
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
W
elcome to The Jazz Lounge. It’s June, which
means we’ve officially hit the halfway mark
of 2010. It’s been quite a year, and I hope
you’ve been able to accomplish some of the goals you
may have set for yourself. June also marks the start
of summer. School is out. You may be looking at
vacations, picnics, the beach, music concerts, sports
events, reading the latest bestseller, relaxing, or just
finding ways to have fun – while keeping it safe. The
list goes on and on.
I thought for this session of The Jazz Lounge we’d
check out what a few of the jazz artists will be up to. I
asked each one the same question, and they graciously
answered. Here’s the question: WHAT ARE YOUR
PLANS FOR THE SUMMER?
DAVE KOZ: “I will be happily out on our annual
Summer tour this year, “The Together Again” Tour,
along with Jonathan Butler and Sheila E. I can’t think of
a more fun way to spend the summer months! Visit the
www.davekoz.com tour page for the full list of dates.”
JACKIEM JOYNER: “All summer I plan to tour
mostly. Hopefully, a few overseas vacations added to
really fill my summer.”
ALEX BUGNON: “I’m the new host / MC of the
Montreux Jazz Festival – the biggest most legendary
musical jazz festival !”
The 44th Montreux Jazz
Festival will be July 2nd – 17th, 2010, in Switzerland.
(www.montreuxjazz.com; http://www.facebook.com/
montreuxjazzfestival)
PAUL HARDCASTLE, JR.: “This summer I will be
playing in Ibiza and Spain, mainly Ibiza. The names of
the clubs that I’m performing at will be Eden, Privilege,
and Hush. I have a few more not confirmed yet. One
that I have always wanted to play at is “Space”. I have
been in talks with someone that might be hosting a
night there on a regular basis, and he is very interested
in me playing. I will also be playing smooth jazz in
the chillout beaches and restaurants – some songs taken
from Hardcastle volumes and The Jazzmasters.”
AKIKO TSURUGA: “”This summer I have great gigs
with my group that will be coming up, including from
July to September: Jazz Mobile-Staten Island, NY; Pine
Grill Reunion-Buffalo, NY; The Green Mill-Chicago,
IL; Jazz Mobile Grant’s Tomb-New York City, NY;
and Dizzy’s Coca Cola-New York City, NY.” (www.
akikojazz.com)
I always have fun hearing the various responses.
Special thanks to Dave, Jackiem, Alex, Paul, and Akiko
for being a part of The Jazz Lounge.
KYLE EASTWOOD: “The summer is often a busy
time for me work wise. I will be on tour in Europe
supporting my newest CD, Metropolitain from now
through August. I am planning on recording a new
album during this time as well. Hopefully during a few
breaks in the schedule, I will get a chance to have a little
vacation time in Italy or France. All the best and have
a great summer.”
JAZZY TIDBITS:
Live jazz every Tuesday night from 8 – 11 PM, with
the jazz quartet Planet 3, at Cocktails, 3701 Governor’s
Drive, Huntsville, Alabama. For more information:
(251) 404-2307 or (205) 587-7583.
The Sports Vision Open Jazz Jam Session is every
Thursday night, starting at 6 PM, at Sports Vision
Restaurant, 4701 Meridian Street, Suite N, Huntsville,
AL, 35811. For more information: (256) 715-1878.
All musicians and music lovers are invited.
You smooth jazz aficionados should know that the Grover
Washington, Jr. CD “Grover Live” was just released.
Be on the lookout for new CDs from: Bob Baldwin,
Jeff Lorber, Stanley Clarke, Brian Simpson, George
Duke, Kenny G, Esperanza Spalding, Tim Bowman,
Lee Ritenour, and Ricardo Scales.
Remember, you can reach out to me at: teekynyc@
yahoo.com.
Until next time, stay cool, and keep it jazzy!
Dave Koz
Alex Bugnon
THE VALLEY PLANET
# 060310062310
Jackiem Joyner
Paul Hardcastle Jr.
Akiko Tsuruga
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
Kyle Eastwood
19
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
June 3-June 23
© Copyright 2010 Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you’d like to be in supreme alignment with cosmic rhythms in the coming weeks,
I suggest that you completely avoid using the f-word. Likewise, you’ll maximize your chances for taking advantage
of fate’s currents if you refrain from ever using the s-word, the c-word, the m-word, and the b-word. As a general
rule, the more precise and the less lazy you are in using language, the more willpower you’ll have and the better able
you’ll be to attract the experiences you want. It’s always invigorating to choose your words creatively and kindly,
of course, but especially now.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you grow a mere acre of peanuts, in a good year you’ll harvest a big enough crop
to make 30,000 peanut butter sandwiches. That might be more than you need. If you just plant enough peanuts to
fill a basketball court, you’ll still have enough to make over 3,200 sandwiches, which would provide you with more
than eight every day for a year. This is a good phase of your astrological cycle to be thinking thoughts like these,
Taurus. You will have more insight and motivation than usual if you formulate long-term plans to create abundance
for yourself.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As they orbit the planet, astronauts witness as many as 15 sunrises and sunsets each
day. Time isn’t really sped up for them, but it seems like it. I expect you to experience a similar feeling in the coming
weeks, Gemini. You may have the fantasy that you’re living the equivalent of four days every 24 hours. The light
will be brighter, the emotions richer, and the teachings more highly concentrated. If you give yourself to the surge
with relaxed enthusiasm and focused receptivity, your evolution will be expedited.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I think you’re ready to stand up and reclaim your power from the soul-sucking
influences that have been swindling you. But you don’t have to turn this showdown into a melodramatic epic that
brings down the house or blows up the world. In fact, I think it’s better if you stay low-key as you transform the
dynamics that have been grinding you down. The adjustments may be nowhere near as major as you imagine.
Why? Because most of what you need to do is make shifts in your own attitude. The necessary changes in outer
circumstances will arise naturally once you’ve done that.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If I were writing the story of your life as a fairy tale, the current chapter would be filled
with enchanted events. You’d hear animals’ thoughts in your head and you’d remember your past lives. You’d be
able to find accurate oracles in the shapes of clouds, the ringing of distant bells, and the patterns of shadows on the
sidewalk. You would see the help that’s invisible to everyone else and know what to do in order to get the love you
want. Take advantage of the available mojo, Leo. Use it to set people free, including yourself.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): How skilled are you at getting things done and making things happen? This is different
from just being busy; it’s not the same as scrambling around attending to whatever tasks are at the forefront of
your attention. I’m talking about actually cranking out excellent results that manifest a comprehensive vision
of your intentions. I’m talking about working hard and smart to serve the big picture, not working frenetically
and mechanically to rid yourself of nervous mental energy. You’re in a phase when these themes are especially
important, Virgo. Be a master of the details; don’t let the details master you.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In her essay “Write Till You Drop,” author Annie Dillard offers advice to aspiring
writers. I’m going to quote a certain passage that happens to be apropos for you Libras right now. “Spend it all, shoot
it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for later . . . give it, give it all, give it
now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will
arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse
to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely
and abundantly becomes lost to you.”
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a Rolling Stone interview, musician John Mayer suggested that Tiger Woods
could have avoided his terrible troubles if he had just chosen to masturbate more. Rather than literally acting out
his obsessive sexual urges with a jillion women who weren’t his wife, why not contain them in the fantasy realm?
I suggest you consider applying this principle as you make your decisions in the coming weeks, Scorpio -- not just
in regards to your sexual life, but in other areas as well. There may be times when you could prevent an influx of
unnecessary chaos simply by conducting a conversation in your imagination rather than by having it with the actual
person who seems to be agitating or enthralling you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are very few people who can lick their own elbows, and up until now you
have probably not been one of them. Judging from the current astrological configurations, however, I’m guessing
that a lot of you Sagittarians are about to be more flexible, limber, and acrobatic than usual -- not just in your mental
attitudes but possibly even in your physical abilities. At least metaphorically speaking, you’ll be able to bend over
backwards without damaging your dignity. You could also stretch and twist yourself into poses that have previously
been impossible. So who knows? Maybe you’ll find a way to plant a kiss on your own elbow.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The TV comedy series “Community” takes place on the sleepy campus of a
community college. It features the hijinks of seven misfits who are older and weirder than their fellow students. In
one episode, an inept female security guard chases the lead character, Jeff, hoping to catch and cite him for a farcical
misdemeanor. As she races along, shouting for him to stop, she takes out her can of pepper spray and shoots several
streams in his direction. The cloud of noxious stuff doesn’t reach him, but she runs face-first into it as she continues
her pursuit. It irritates her eyes and forces her to halt. Later, in telling her associate what happened, she says she was
the victim of “self-inflicted friendly fire.” I worry that you’ll soon be tempted to carry out a metaphorical version
of that, Capricorn. Please don’t.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s how author Leo Buscaglia described the rigorous requirements for being
a great lover. You must “continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity
of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar, and the
fortitude of the certain.” I’m sorry to report that no one I’ve ever known has met those high standards! In the coming
weeks, however, you Aquarians will have the potential to get halfway there. Life will conspire to boost every effort
you make to be a great lover.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Recently I was remembering the names of streets near the house where I grew up
in Allen Park, Michigan. Although I didn’t register it at the time, they were lyrical, euphonious, and evocative:
Philomene, Shenandoah, Osage, Luana, Cleophus, Gahona. As I walked and played on them day after day for years,
my imagination breathed in the magic of their exotic sounds, unobtrusively nurturing my poetic sensibilities. I bring
this up, Pisces, in the hope of inspiring a comparable rumination in you. Think back on the riches of the past whose
importance to your development you may have underestimated. It’s a good time to re-connect with the power and
glory of influences that brought out the best in you almost without your knowledge.
Homework: Psychologists hypothesize that the best way to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a good one.
Tell how you’ll do that. Go to Freewillastrology.com and click “Email Rob.”
20
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY
Briton Robert Dee, feeling humiliated
at being called the “world’s worst tennis pro”
by London’s Daily Telegraph (and other news
organizations) sued the newspaper for libel
last year. After taking testimony in February
2010, the judge tossed out the lawsuit in April,
persuaded by Dee’s having lost 54 consecutive international tour matches (all in straight
sets). Fearful of an opposite result, 30 other
news organizations had already apologized to
Dee for disparaging him, and some even paid
him money in repentance, but the Telegraph
had stood its ground (and was, of course, humble in victory, titling its story on the outcome,
“’World’s Worst’ Tennis Player Loses Again”).
The Continuing Crisis
-- Mexican police, raiding a suspected
hideout of drug kingpin Oscar Nava Valencia in
the city of Zapopan in December, found the expected items (weapons, drugs, cash) but also
38 gold- or silver-plated guns emblazoned with
ornate designs and studded with diamonds,
which it placed on public display in May. Included were seven bejeweled assault weapons.
-- In war-torn Gaza, with little relief
from the tedium of destruction and poverty,
the Mediterranean Sea offers some relief, especially for about 40 people who belong to the
Gaza Surf Club, riding waves on secondhand,
beaten-down boards. While the waves might
not be as challenging as those in Huntington
Beach, Calif., the surfers nonetheless must be
skilled enough to avoid the estimated 60 million liters of raw sewage that Gaza city, with
no practical alternative, has routinely emptied
into the sea.
-- An April ABC News TV report featured a Westford, Mass., couple as the face of
the “radical unschooling” philosophy, which
challenges both the formal classroom system
and home schooling. Typically, home-schooling
parents believe they can organize their kids’
educations better than schools can, but “unschoolers” simply put kids on their own, free
to decide by themselves what, or whether, to
learn any of the traditional school subjects.
There is no punishment, no judgment, no discipline. The key, said parent Christine Yablonski,
“is that you’ve got to trust your kids.” For example, “If they (decide that they) need formal
algebra understanding ... they’ll find that information.”
-- Bolinas, Calif., north of San Francisco, is famously reclusive, even to the point
of residents’ removing state highway signs
pointing to the town, hoping that outsiders will
get lost enroute and give up the quest. It limits
its population to about 1,500 by officially fixing the number of municipal water hookups
at 580, but in April, one of the meters became
available when the city purchased a residential lot to convert to a park. The meter was to
be sold at a May auction, with a minimum bid
of $300,000.
Uh-Oh!
-- A recent French documentary in
THE VALLEY PLANET
the form of a TV show called “Game of Death”
mimics the notorious 1950s human-torture
experiments of Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram, who would coax test subjects to administer increasingly painful jolts of electricity to
strangers to assess their obedience to an “authority figure,” even if contrary to their own
moral codes. As in Milgram’s experiments,
the Game of Death “victims” were actors, unharmed but paid to scream louder with each
successive “shock.” According to a BBC News
report, 82 percent of the game’s players were
willing torturers, a higher percentage than
Milgram found, but the TV show’s subjects had
greater encouragement, cheered on by a raucous studio audience and a glamorous hostess.
-- According to an April lawsuit filed
by an employee of the five-star Ritz-Carlton resort in Naples, Fla., the hotel complied with a
February request by a wealthy British traveler
that, during their stay, his family not be served
by “people of colour” or anyone who spoke with
a “foreign accent.” The hotel has apologized to
the employee, but denied that it had complied
with the traveler’s request. (Lawyers for the
employee told the Associated Press that nine
witnesses and a copy of a computer entry
prove their claim.)
-- Good News/Bad News: Based on
April federal indictments of organized crime
members in New York and New Jersey, it appears that any “glass ceiling” to management
in the exclusively male Gambino family has
been cracked in that at least one woman, Suzanne Porcelli, 43, was indicted among the 14
family members and associates. However, the
Gambino “farm system” is apparently weak, in
that with the imprisonment of John Gotti and
other experienced capos, the organization appears headed in historically unfamiliar directions, most notably in child prostitution. Until
now, even the most vicious of Mafiosi historically, heroically, protected women and children
from the families’ “business.”
Oops!
Spectacular Errors: (1) Milton High
School beat Westlake, 56-46, for the Georgia
5A boys’ basketball championship in March.
Westlake’s chances evaporated during the pregame warm-ups, when their Georgia-playerof-the-year candidate Marcus Thornton was
forced to sit after spraining his ankle leaping
to ceremonially hip-bump a teammate. (2) Two
North Carolina surgeons were issued official
“letters of concern” in January for a 2008 incident in which they performed a C-section on a
woman who was not pregnant. (They relied on
an intern’s confused diagnosis and followed an
ultrasound with no heartbeat and several obviously failed attempts to induce labor.)
Bright Ideas
Frustrated customers frequently
challenge bills, and occasionally, “rescission” of
the original deal is a suitable remedy. However,
it’s not suitable for some services. Deborah Dillow was late with the $150 she allegedly owed
to The Bomb Squad dog waste pick-up service in
Bend, Ore., in April, and appeared to be avoiding calls at her home. The Bomb Squad owner,
frustrated by the delays, simply returned all
the work done to that point on Dillow’s property in one big pile, in her front yard.
Alcohol Was Involved
The Wonder Drug: (1) Donald Wolfe,
55, was charged with public drunkenness in
March in Brookville, Pa., after neighbors spotted him giving, as he described it, mouth-tomouth resuscitation to a roadkill possum along
Route 36. (2) A 62-year-old man suffered second-degree burns after launching himself on
a makeshift, rocket-powered sled in Independence Township, Mich., in January. Witnesses
said he put on a helmet, then strapped a contraption consisting of a motorcycle muffler, a
pipe, gunpowder, match heads and gasoline on
his back, and had someone light the wick to
send him blasting through the snow.
Least Competent Criminals
Overconfident “Artists”: (1) Clair Arthur Smith, 42, of Cape Coral, Fla., was charged
with forgery in May after he allegedly tried to
doctor the amount of a check he had received
from Bank of America. Converting the “$10.00”
check to $100, or even $100,000, would seem
plausible, but Smith tried to deposit the check
into his account after he had marked it up to
“$269,951.00.” (2) A 17-year-old was arrest-
# 060310062310
ed in College Station, Texas, in January and
charged with trying to pass a homemade $5
bill at a restaurant. Police said the bill’s front
and back had been computer-scanned and then
pasted together but that the front of the bill
was longer than the back.
LEAD STORY
American families from certain Asian
and African cultures continue to ritually “circumcise” their young daughters, though the
practice is illegal in the U.S. and most of the
world. In May, the bioethics committee of the
American Academy of Pediatrics changed its
policy from absolutely banning such surgery to
one which would sanction a minor “pinprick”
on girls’ genitals (comparable, it said, to earpiercing), with the hope of satisfying parents
so they would not opt to send the girls to the
home countries for full genital “mutilation.”
U.S. anti-female-circumcision support groups
were outraged. Said one advocate, “We don’t
let (husbands) beat their wives a little bit” just
because their cultures permit wife-beating.
Government in Action!
-- The local government of Bolton,
England, responding in March to a citizen’s
report of a discarded mattress on the side of
a road, sent an official to assess the scene. He
wrote a work order for four men (a driver,
an assistant and two supervisors) and a 1.7ton construction vehicle, and the pickup was
scheduled for the following week, according to
a report in the Daily Telegraph. (When a Bolton
councilman saw the schedule, he, with the help
of a friend, drove a council van to the scene and
hauled the mattress to a dump site.)
-- A Hollywood, Fla., leukemia patient on Medicaid had endured six months of
grueling chemotherapy in order to be healthy
enough for a long-awaited bone marrow transplant when, in March, a Social Security Administration caseworker called her up out of the
blue to inform her that her son was eligible
for disability payments, which the woman immediately signed up for. However, almost as
immediately, Medicaid removed her from its
rolls because the disability check raised her income beyond the qualifying maximum, and her
transplant was, life-threateningly, canceled.
(In April, the hospital persuaded Medicaid to
cover the transplant.)
-- In April, officials in Hudson, N.Y.,
proudly unveiled their state-of-the-art water
fountain for the disabled in the county courthouse, a fixture whose installation was agreed
to in a 2003 settlement with federal officials
enforcing the Americans with Disabilities
Act. However, the fountain was installed on
the courthouse’s second floor, which is accessible only by stairway. In defense, county officials said the fountain had several features for
handicapped people other than those in wheelchairs.
-- Apparently, the death penalty is
so important to Californians that they spend
$125 million a year administering it, plus
$400 million recently for a new death row and
execution chamber even though the state is notoriously nearly bankrupt and even though, in
a death-row population of more than 700, only
13 have been executed in the past 30 years.
(As News of the Weird mentioned last year,
one killer demanded the death penalty instead
of life in prison because death row has better
facilities and because, like nearly everyone on
death row, he expects to die of disease or natural causes before the state can execute him.)
Said the outraged mother of a raped-and-murdered teenage boy, of her son’s killer, “(Scott
Erskine) is (in) there watching television
knowing I am going to die before he does.”
Great Art!
-- Susan Collis’ conceptual art, “Since
I Fell for You,” debuted at the Ikon Gallery in
Birmingham, England, in May, consisting of an
empty room with pieces of lumber on the floor,
along with a broom propped against a wall and
an empty laundry bag. Though the Birmingham Mail quoted several annoyed visitors, Collis defended her work. “Often a work that looks
very careless ... takes a long time to produce.”
-- Just finishing up in May at New
York City’s Museum of Modern Art is a tribute
to performance artist Marina Abramovic for
her lifetime achievements in making patrons
uneasy. Videos played, including one in which
the artist screams at the top of her lungs until
such time as she loses her voice, and visitors
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
faced unsettling live demonstrations, including being asked to enter a room by squeezing between a naked man and woman facing
each other in the doorway. The artist herself
planned to attend the entire run sitting at a table in the museum’s atrium, silent and motionless, all day long, during which time patrons
could stare back at her.
Police Report
-- A 2009 Minnesota law gives local
police the authority to make traffic stops to
enforce the stand-alone offense of failure of a
passenger to wear a seat belt. According to a
report in the Pioneer Press, police in the St.
Paul suburb of Maplewood take it seriously.
An undercover cop, posing as a homeless man
with a “will work for food” sign, roamed an
intersection, peering into cars and secretly
signaling colleagues, who subsequently pulled
over violators, and all unbelted passengers
were issued $108 tickets: $25 for the violation,
$75 for a brand-new “surcharge” for petty misdemeanors, and an $8 general state fee (none
of which, according to the legislative history,
represented a “tax increase”).
-- Veteran Dallas attorney Sandra
McFeeley, 67, was arrested in April after refusing to stop pruning the excess vegetation and
dead tree limbs at her neighborhood’s Wynnewood Parkway Park, which she had been
doing regularly for three years, thus violating
a municipal trespass ordinance. McFeeley remained upbeat. “I met some neat people (at the
police station). I’d never been in a perp walk
before. It was cool.” Said a supporter, “It’s hard
enough to keep that neighborhood nice without
having the police haul people off for felonious
gardening.”
Chutzpah!
-- Galena Park, Texas, high school
teacher Fernando Gonzalez, 35, was sentenced
to seven years in prison in March as a result of
his being caught using his classroom computer
to watch child pornography from his many
disks. He tried to explain that he had no other
choice, in that his wife had already banned him
from watching child porn at home.
-- Mary Merten, 43, pleaded guilty in
March to four felonies in connection with an
eight-year-long spree in which, as bookkeeper
for a two-lawyer firm in Kingston, N.Y., she
stole over $800,000 via embezzlement and
theft of the lawyers’ identities. However, as
she awaited sentencing, she wrote her former
bosses: “I would ask that you consider keeping
me employed. ... I truly enjoy my job and want
to continue to work for the both of you to make
up for my imperfections.” (At press time, she
was still awaiting sentencing.)
Everyday Prophets
(1) James Fall, 58, told police in
Mound, Minn., in March that his “marriage” to
his 10-year-old niece was perfectly acceptable
in that he is a “prophet of God,” citing Corinthians 6:12. (2) Terrill Dalton, 43, who refers
to himself as the Holy Ghost, moved his small
congregation to Fromberg, Mont., in March as
the latest stop in avoiding law enforcement investigations in Utah and Idaho. He credits his
holiness to his collection of rocks, several of
which he said are powerful “seer stones.” (3)
Adam Disabato, who said he is “the Messiah,”
was arrested in Pittsburgh in April after he
drove his car into the Poale Zedeck synagogue,
causing about $30,000 in damages. “I’m not
crazy, and I don’t hear voices. I just got a feeling sent by God to drive real fast for some reason.”
In December 1994, the Air Force
Times reported that Army soldier Joseph Cannon had recently ended his six-year career
having not received a single military paycheck
after boot camp. Officials said Cannon’s records
were lost at his first duty station, but that he
had never complained, though he missed 144
paychecks totaling, in 1994 dollars, about
$103,000. Apparently, Cannon lived only in
the barracks, ate only in the mess halls, and
borrowed money from relatives whenever he
had special needs.
Send your Weird News to [email protected]
or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.
COPYRIGHT 2006 CHUCK SHEPHERD
DISTRIBUTED BY
UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111;
(816) 932-6600
21
and illiterate, the homeless, the street people, runaway
teens, single mothers, victims of A.I.D.S., victims of
hard economic times, and the mentally and emotionally
ill.
I also think of organizations such as Habitat for
Humanity, the Rescue Mission (which was once called
“The Downtown Rescue Mission”), the Red Cross, the
Senior Center, the Alzheimer’s Association, Food not
Bombs, the Salvation Army, Help Line, and UNICEF.
These are a few organizations of hundreds that come
immediately to mind. Annually, A&M University hosts
the Writers’ Harvest to collect canned goods to replenish
our local food banks--another service often provided by
our local churches.
A
ccording to Noam Chomsky--noted linguist, philosopher, political activist, intellectual, professor, author of
dozens of books about the precarious state of democracy--one of the first signs of the decline of an empire,
in history, has been a lack of caring and compassion within the individual communities that have made up
that empire.
The community of Huntsville is full of caring and compassionate organizations. I was justly called to task by a
reader of my last column for placing quotation marks around the word “Christians.” In that article, I was referring
to “so-called Christians.” I was not referring to the many Christians who provide food, shelter, clothing, counseling,
education, guidance, and unconditional love to those who are in need, such as abused women and children, the poor
However, when I think about Huntsville, which is one
sprawling city, I often think of roads and cars. There is
little charity or mercy in the cars of Huntsville, and the
cars are driven by “good” (meaning “so-called” good)
people.
Can nine out of ten in Huntsville be ill-tempered,
cold-hearted, nasty, destructive, uncaring, murderous,
me-me-me-me, get-outta-my-way-you-old-buttercup
ONLY when on the roadways?
In the last few weeks on University Drive, I have
witnessed or experienced the following:
1.
Individuals volunteer time sitting with the ill in
Huntsville hospitals and work in our schools to help ease
the burden of the immense paperwork on our teachers.
One of my neighbors delivers blankets and hot coffee to
the homeless throughout the winter.
Huntsville is obviously filled with worthwhile
organizations and good people who work within them.
And caring people who work on their own.
Because a man slowed his car to keep from running
down a man crossing on foot, the man behind sat
on his horn. Which is more important? Getting to
where he was going or allowing the driver ahead to
save someone’s life? Obviously, getting to where
he was going. A no brainer!
2. I am sitting at a light, first in line. The light changes,
and one nano second later, the car behind me, driven
by a fiendish woman (a cigarette hanging from her
Cruella de Ville mouth) swerves around me--IN
THE INTERSECTION--smoke blowing from her
tail pipe. (That is not a metaphor, but--well--it
could be.) I make my way gently through traffic
to find myself right beside her at the next light. I
open my door, step outside my car, look over the
roof of my car with my do-gooder head, and say in
the kindest voice possible, “Well, well, well. Was
it worth it?” I quickly get back in before she can
hurl words back. Or open fire. (This was foolish,
albeit satisfying, behavior on my part. Don’t try
this yourself! It could be dangerous. In the crack
up of this empire. Really.)
3. A woman on her cell phone doesn’t notice the
light has turned red in the left turn-lane to Target.
She hits her brakes so hard, the screech is so loud,
several drivers cover their heads in the defensive
posture. The woman’s two shiatsus, who have been
sitting like little queens--blue bows in their hair--in
the backseat, momentarily disappear. The woman
puts her car in park in the middle of the left turnlane, stomps in high heels to the window of the
driver in front of her. I suppose he is still recovering
from fear, but must now also endure a shrill beating
of words about his irresponsible, sudden stopping.
He looks like a nice man (one of the ten on the
roadway), attempting to explain himself--when
that really isn’t necessary. Meanwhile, the traffic
light has changed to green to red and back to green,
several times. Other cars are switching to the righthand turn-lane--when they can--or when they can’t-almost causing wrecks--and shouting words that
make one’s day sunny and bright, or giving anyone
and everyone in their way a delightful variety--big
and small--of obscene hand gestures. A road rage
incident can turn into a road rage melee--just like
that.
4. As I am coming out of an exit onto University Drive,
a young pizza delivery boy screeches his brakes as
he makes an incredibly wide turn in order not to
miss his entrance. It is night. I see him coming
straight at me. Other than his headlights, which
blind me, I do see my life flash before my eyes. (A
lot happened in my life because, later, when I return
home, I write it down in a 48-page poem.) He
misses my car by, perhaps, an inch. My defibrillator
is in a “gearing-up” mode (Defcon 8) to shock me
to the other side of the car. Was the pizza getting
THAT cold? Save a human life or make certain you
get that tip? Hm? Hard decision?
Unlike Noam Chomsky, I think the decline of an empire
is truly indicated by the way people engage each other
on the roadways. After all, roads and highways are
symbols of our journey together in this community, and
in this country. If this metaphor holds, this empire is in
the ultimate pile-up, no one has Triple AAA or cash, and
no tow truck is on its way.
Be careful out there, good people.
Where is the
next Valley
Planet Event?
Follow us on
Facebook!
22
#060310062310
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
THE VALLEY PLANET
Orange Cub is another gorgeous boy and is an orange
tabby with a tiger tail. He is 9 weeks old and is full of
energy! He loves to climb his cat tree, chase toys and
play with other friendly cats and my kitty loving dog.
He has been neutered, has current vaccinations except
rabies and is litter box trained. He can be yours for a
$25 donation to a local animal non profit organization.
Call 531-5846.
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual looking to buy, sell, trade or find
bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for the low, low price of nothing. If you wish
to embellish your ad further, say, with a small photo (add $5) or more words (add $1 per line),
it’s up to you. Now, if you are a business, you gotta pay a little something, $12 per column
inch. Please call Jill Wood at (256) 533-4613 if you would like to put your business in the Exchange. Email your ads to [email protected] or send them by snail mail to Music
Exchange,203 Grove Ave. Huntsville AL, 35801.
NO AD WILL RUN UNTIL PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECEIVED!
MUSIC EXCHANGE
Daisy Rock Guitar,$300. Stardust Elite Guitar
has a lightweight mahogany body w/pearloid
top and a 22-fret, 24 ¾ scale set-in, slim profile,
mahogany neck with rosewood fingerboard
and piano key inlays. Includes high output
humbuckers, master volume, master tone-tap,
3-way selector, and Grover tuners.In Great
Condition, Great Beginner guitar for everyone
smaller frets fit for a womans hand.
[email protected] or 256-777-5335
Experienced mature drummer looking for
working band. Rock, Southern Rock, R&B,
Blues, other genre. Huntsville, 256 881-0755
Producer/Composer Looking for Reggae/RB
Lead Singer (Recording Artist) Looking for Versatile lead Singer for Reggae/RB Album and Band.
Complete recording studio (Album all original music). Perform vocals and write lyrics for unfinished
tracks. Contact at 714-5089.
[email protected]
Looking to start sludge/stoner metal band with
influences like eyehategod, weedeater, grief, etc.
I play a little guitar, bass, and drums. Looking for
other like-minded, individuals (over 21) with minimal skill level and high love of this genre. email:
[email protected]
Starting a band. Auditions open until March
31st, so call me at 1-256-654-0392 or email me
at [email protected] asap, if you are
interested. Any musical talents welcome- no lead
female vocalists, though. that role taken
Additional lead guitarist needed to complete
southern rock band. 256-508-0245
Well seasoned keyboard, guitar, bass player
looking to join a church choir.Can add a lot of
flavor and have worked at many local churches
and have done some spirtual recordings. Give me
a call or send text; 256-361-6184
15 inch Mackie Sub 1 year old in good condition….. Purchased at $1,000.00 Will sell for
$750.00 cash only Phone 337-8105
Bassist and Keyboards needed to complete
Zydeco/Blues/Swing band. Keys should be versatile, replicating Cajun accordion on some tunes
- taking blues solos on others. Intent is to play
private dances & parties. Prefer mature musicians,
but this is not 40’s music! [email protected]
Guitarist looking to start or join a band. I have
over 15 years of live performance experience and
my influences include bands such as 311, Sublime,
Ballyhoo, Incubus, Rage against the Machine, and
POD. Would prefer an all original band or maybe
even a 311 tribute band. For more info, contact
AJ at 256-520-8352 or email me at dj_krayola@
yahoo.com.
Upright Bass Chinese/very fine
$1200, please call 337-0108
Toneworks Pandora PX4B
$100, please call 337-0108
Yamaha GA10 Practice amp
$45, please call 337-0108
Marshall Bi-chorus 200 Valve state w/2x12,
$425, please call 337-0108
Yamaha PSR140 49 key electric $40, please call,
337-0108
Baby Girl Kat is a precious 9 week old orange
tabby who adores lying on her back in your hands
and playing with your hair and loves my cat loving dog! She is curious and playful. She loves to
climb and loves boxes! She has been spayed and
has current vaccinations except rabies she’s not old
enough yet. She is litter box trained. She can be
yours by making a $25 donation – call 531-5846.
Guitarist and Drummer looking for a bass player
and singer/guitar player for a rock/reggae/
funk type band. Must have own equipment. Style
closely related to 311 and Sublime. Contact AJ at
520-8352 or email at [email protected].
Producer looking for rapper/keyboard to partner up with Email [email protected]
Local Artist seeking folk/indie band or similar.
Play intermediate guitar and keyboard; vocals and
songwriting. Email [email protected]
Sylvester is an absolutely charming black and white
male kitten who has a personality to match! He is
very vocal, playful and loves to be held and loved a
lot! He is as gorgeous as they get! He is 9 weeks old
and is current on his vaccinations except rabies and
has been neutered. He is also litter box trained. He
can be yours for a $25 donation to a local animal non
profit organization. Call 531-5846.
Aria Pro Bass for sale: Cherry Woodstain Red,
small gouge on back from belt buckle. Includes
Epiphone Hardshell case. $200 obo Sharon Grant
(256) 734-7129
Do you have talents as a
musician?
Do you have a heart for worshiping God? Then...
you need to be playing in our Praise and Worship
band at First Baptist in Gurley, AL (www.fbcgurley.
org) Our worship team is looking for gifted members with these talents:
-electric guitar
-bass
-percussion
-other (synth/wind instruments)
We practice once a week on Wed. nights (7-8PM).
Please email Norman @ [email protected]
My name is Sinbad. I was living in a
Walmart parking lot until recently. I had
a home at one time. I’m blind in one eye
from an old injury. I’m looking for company. I’m not demanding, although I really
like to be petted. He has been neutered,
wormed, tested and vaccinated. A $50
adoption fee is requested. Call 541-4840
or 536-4002.
Goth, Metal, Pop Band seeking female singer
Contact; [email protected]
Lead singer/rhythm guitar and keyboard
player needed for established Decatur Christian
rock band Paul Says Hello. Youth, talent and
experience a plus, but spiritual maturity a must.
Will require reference from your church pastor.
Call Cameron at 256-227-5377 or email [email protected]. View band at www.myspace.
com/paulsayshello.
Band seeking guitarist. Must be willing to do
gigs . Stlyles Hard rock, Metal. Contact mark @
(256) 616-4275
Rhythm guitartist seeking to join/form
alternative/rock band
ask for dave 256-682-7663
Need a pet sitter? “If
you’re not home to play
Mommy or Daddy, Auntie
Jen will take care of your
furry family.”
Detailed info at
auntiejenpetsitter.com,
or call (256) 566-2020,
5am-9pm, 7 days/wk.
THE VALLEY PLANET
Uggs is a 9 week old adorable multicolored kitten
who needs a home. She can go from playing wide
open to being loved and held close in a nano second!
She is a very smart, loving girl .She loves love! She
has been spayed, has current vaccinations except rabies, she’s not old enough yet. she must be 3 months
and is litter box trained. She can be yours for a $25
donation to a local animal non profit organization.
Call 531-5846 if you are interested in Uggs.
Alesis compressor
$160, please call 337-0108
# 060310062310
Dottie Mae is a doll! She is a black and white 14 pound rat terrier. She has
been homeless since her owner passed away. She has a lot of energy and a lot
of love to give! Dottie enjoys snuggling on the couch and being petted. She
walks on a leash, will sleep in your arms or a crate, she is a very good listener
and loves to play! She needs someone to love her like she used to be loved
(adored) and needs to have a forever home. If you want a dog who adores you
and she will - Dottie Mae is the one. She is 4 years old, has been spayed, has
her current vaccinations and can go home with you for a $25 donation to a
local animal non profit organization. Call 531-5846.
VOLUME 8 ISSUE 8
23

122 - Valley Planet

Transcription

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