You might be surprised to learn what is being raised next

Transcription

OUR 69th YEAR / APRIL FOOLS 2015 / Central Iowa’s Alternative Newsweekly / www.dmcityview.com / FREE
INSIDE
urban
LIVESTOCK
You might be surprised to learn
what is being raised next door
by Eleni Upah
Take a whiff of this
LOCKER ROOM sPAGE 10
Goodbye, Des Moines
THE SOUND sPAGE 18
OpeningShot
By Dan Hodges
Achin’ for bacon
Basile
April 1–4
Sandwiched somewhere between macho, tough
guy and eccentric 3rd grader lies the personality of
Basile. On one hand, he’s an imposing presence on
stage. On the other, he boasts numerous cartoon
voice-over credits, including Bullwinkle J. Moose
and characters from Disney films.
Dave
Nickerson
April 8–9
From all 50 states and Canada, to 3 tours in Japan,
Korea and Europe to entertain the troops,
David has headlined clubs all over the world.
A veteran with more than a decade’s worth of
experience as a professional comedian, David is
recognized throughout the comedy scene as an
elaborate story teller with a sharp edge
reminiscent of old school favorites!
Rickey
Smiley
SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT
April 10–11
Comedy legend and entertainment mogul Rickey
Smiley brings uproarious laughter to the world
through his magnetic and sharp style of humor.
The powerhouse performer brings his impeccable
timing to a number of successful media platforms
and has the distinct ability to take everyday
observations and turn them into comedic gold. He is a
top tier “clean” comic with quick wit and energy!
Purchase tickets online at
www.funnybonedm.com
Text DMFUNNY to 68247
for great deals, promotions & giveaways!
560 S. Prairie View Dr.
Suite 100
Ginger Bluming takes a bite out of Michael Mint’s meat melon — a slice of melon wrapped in bacon — last weekend near
Gray’s Lake. The newlyweds are married and have six children together ages 1 to 5. CV
7EST'LEN4OWN#ENTERs7$-
(515) 270-2100
2sCITYVIEWs!02),&//,3
You’re not believing this, are you?
YourView
APRIL FOOLS 2015
6/,s.5-
PUBLISHER
EDITOR
CONTRIBUTORS
Shane Goodman
Darren Tromblay
Eleni Upah
Chad Taylor
Jim Duncan
Bill Frost
Joe Weeg
Brian Duffy
Dan Hodges
David Rowley
Patrick Boberg
Ashley Buckowing
DISTRIBUTION MGR
Brent Antisdel
SALES MGR
Ashley Sohl
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES
Chani Tancredi
Rebekah Olson
Katie Hawley
DESIGN MGR
Celeste Jones
ADVERTISING DESIGNERS
Karen Ericson
Tyler Nash
DIGITAL
Brian Olson
BUSINESS OFFICE MGR
Brent Antisdel
ADDRESS
5619 N.W. 86th St.
Suite 600
Johnston, Iowa 50131
PHONE
515-953-4822
FAX
515-953-1394
WEB
www.dmcityview.com
More coverage, please
I
’m writing to let you know that I am disappointed in the lack of coverage of the
cock-fighting they have every month in
the basement of the governor’s mansion.
When I say “they” I don’t mean to be a snake
about it, but I have to be. They don’t want
anyone to know it’s going on, you see. Anyway, I think it’s an actual league, so right
there I think it warrants coverage. I don’t see
the other paper doing anything with it. Some
of them are small, and some are just dumb
little bastards. But it’s still fun to watch them
peck each other’s eyeballs out. You ever seen
that? It’s getting more popular, too. Anymore, there are more peckers in that room
than you can shake a stick at. I remember
when me and the husband started going back
in ’77, and there were maybe 10 people there.
I was the only woman. We’d laugh and call it
the “Cock House.” God bless the USA!
Myrtle Sumphansen
Des Moines
Never enough
I love your publication. Call me. I’ve got a
deal for you.
Martin Terrill
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All letters received become the property of the publisher.
We reserve the right to print letters in condensed form
and to edit them for libel.
comments from our readers
Point blank
We need more traffic cameras.
Sed Noone
Cancel my prescription
I just got my Des Moines Register bill
dropped from $35 to $26 a month, although
I am sure there are even better deals to be had
on my block — although I am one of the few
on my block who still gets this POS. I think
I will do the same with Cityview — call and “horrible leaps of logic” and “genuinely
threaten to cancel my prescription — and see laughable dialogue.” Preposterous! As opposed to the writer who says that he is not
what they say? What’s the number?
C. McCruz the target audience, I, on the other hand, am
Waukee a teenage girl and I think the movie was fabulous. It had cute boys and a really strong main
character who made very smart life choices.
This is how you do it
The dialogue was great, and for once a movie
There has been a lot of discussion around the
showed conversation that was easy for me to
issue of raising the minimum wage. Both sides
understand. It clearly followed the exact story
of the debate have valid arguments. In one corline of the books (I’ve read them all — twice)
ner are the business owners who, if the wage
so I would know if the movie was accurate or
were raised, would see their expenses rise. How
not, and it totally is!
will they offset this additional cost? Raise pricShaylee Barkley
es on their goods. That’s no good for you and
Des Moines
me. And in the other corner is the worker who
is earning a wage that is basically enough to pay
his or her cell phone bill and little else. That’s a It affects your brain
problem, too. So what do we do? I don’t hold a The Civic Skinny last week (March 26, 1892)
degree from Waldorf, but I do know that this posed a good point. We need to let Iowans
is a good question. I promise you that. But, by know that the people who are appointed to
working together, we can create better paying government jobs are gay. These things matter.
jobs, give our kids the education they deserve When terms just keep getting handed down the
and bring this country together again. I’m not line and people don’t know everything about
for or against anything in this debate, only the new officials in the Branstad administrathe preservation of that which our forefathers tion, it can affect the decisions being made. Befought so hard for. Thank you to the men and ing gay means you have a different mind, right?
women who serve our country. I promise to In fact, the sexuality of an intelligent person in
promise you everything. And nothing. Always power matters so much that we should make
sure that these announcements are more freand forever, Amen.
E. V. Ree Politico quent and direct. You know, “because I’m gay
East Des Moines I’ve decided this.” Because clearly, one’s sexual
preference strongly effects his or her political
decisions and advancements. Obviously.
Movie review was off
target
I am writing in to express my frustrations
with the “Insurgent” movie review (March
26, 1974). The movie was reviewed by Chad
Taylor as a “poorly paced snooze-fest,” with
Char Kasm
Urbandale
Email your opinions to [email protected]. Mail to 5619 N.W.
86th St., Suite 600, Johnston, IA 50131. Fax us at 953-1394. Please
limit letters to 200 words or less. Cityview reserves the right to
edit for length and clarity. The writer’s address and daytime phone
number will not be printed but must be given for verification.
cityview magazine
(comments unedited)
Cityview Magazine: Due to the low snowfall totals
during the winter and potential drought implications
because of it, the Iowa Legislature is considering a bill
that would make it illegal to flush your toilet more than
twice per day. What do you think?
Kurt Pehm: It’s a bunch of crap.
Biana Sold: Bring it on, shitter Nazis.
Steve Prince: That’s fine with me. I like the smell of urine in
the morning.
David Towley: Dear government: Stay out of my ass.
Brent Anterdale: Squirrel!
George Bias: I support it. We need the water for our lawn.
Cityview Magazine: Fake IDs are becoming more
prevalent among adults these days. Why do you think
that is?
Jack Johnson: Cougars are on the prowl for young meat.
Kathleen Sueme: Parents don’t know right from rong.
Bill Taylor: I have one and I’m 44. Says I’m 22, which is a
magnet for the little ladies.
Stephen Lowery: I don’t know. Stupid question. Next.
#)496)%7s!02),&//,3 s
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This week’s question
Does anyone know where my keys are?
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ReTweets
@OBiiieeee: dont google horses wearing jeans unless you have a good
12hrs to spare
@netw3rk: I want to see a movie where a robot gains consciousness and
realizes its a loser and doesn’t want to do anything
@jazmasta: After grandpa’s unfortunate steamroller incident last year,
man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.
@eddiepepitone: I like to sip a cup of coffee on a Sunday, grab a book
and start worrying about Monday.
@peteholmes: i don’t do crossfit, i cross “fit” off my list of goals. way
easier.
Member FDIC
(unedited)
The Boys of Summer are Back!
AND LARGER
THAN LIFE!
The boys of summer return for another
great season of Iowa Cubs baseball and you
won’t want to miss any of the great fun and
excitement. Catch the major-league stars of
tomorrow play today for your Iowa Cubs as the
road to Wrigley runs through Principal Park.
- GetGROUP
OUTINGS
a group together for a great time. Groups of 25 or more get
ticket specials and other benefits.
- PICNICS -
Groups enjoy an all-you-can-eat picnic-style buffet in
one of our four reserved picnic areas.
- SKYBOXES -
Catch the game from the best seat in the house — a luxury skybox suite.
Skyboxes available for groups of 10-125 with great food and drink options.
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PARTIES A birthday to remember. Birthday treats, caps, food and drink,
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Call the Iowa Cubs today
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Joe’sNeighborhood
A good man in desperate times
Look for our new
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in Cityview
April 17!
We offer many Summer classes
in Arts & Crafts, Dance,
Language,
and so much more!
Call
242-8521
or visit our website at
www.dmced.org
By Joe Weeg
T
he grizzled man climbs up out of
the litter-strewn riverbank at dusk.
He hesitates. Flannel shirt wrongly
buttoned over multiple undershirts, pants
bunched on top of long underwear, a tight
stocking cap pulled over a shaggy head with
long white hair hanging from the sides. A
homeless man. The blackened fingers, bitten by frost, are waved in my direction. He
looks down the bike path, his head turning
left and right, and then slowly shuffles towards my car in the gravel lot.
A furtive telephone call brought me
down to the river’s edge. A call promising
too much. I was used to dead ends and sat
resignedly waiting for the man to make his
way over.
I knew this part of town. The homeless
camp on this bank was cleared long before
winter came. Eagles work the waters below
this bridge on Scott Avenue. A few fishermen hang around during the day. And,
occasionally, the laughter and music from
Mullets Bar will drift across and down to
the sandbars. But in this evening gloom,
when the early night air touches the river
creating a low-slung fog, no noise is heard.
Although we are in Des Moines, it could be
the dank and musty Thames flowing below
London Bridge, or a creaky canal in the
warehouse district of Amsterdam. A place
of dark deeds for sure.
The man leans on my car.
“What should I call you?” I ask.
“Is Deep Throat taken?” he says in a low,
growly voice.
Really?
“OK, how about Bill Stowe?”
The man, who has spent his adult life
studying the river up close, saw and heard
a bit too much. He has a secret that refuses
to stay hidden below the layers of flannel
shirts. A secret he wants to share.
“It’s in the Raccoon River,” he says. “Go
check the river.”
So I do.
Down to the river I hike. The water
drifts flat and syrupy. The Raccoon, born
from the joinder of the North and South
Raccoon, feeds into the Des Moines River
at Principal Park. The Raccoon spans Buena Vista, Sac, Calhoun, Carroll, Greene,
Dallas, Audubon and Guthrie Counties. It
is the drain in the tub for northwest and
north central Iowa. It’s here where the water
flows that the man said I would find the secret.
Climbing to the water’s edge, I see that
the muddy river looks darker than usu-
al. Somewhat like the oil on your dipstick.
I take a smell.
Oh my lord. It’s crude oil — with just a
bouquet of nitrates. Bakken Crude Oil. The
man didn’t lie. There is a secret hidden in
the river.
Of course. It is so obvious. Crude oil
from the Bakken fields is gushing down the
Raccoon River. No doubt, the oil refineries
can much more easily deal with the nitrate
runoff. And, as a bonus, no more worry
about oil spills in the middle of farm fields.
Back to the man I go.
Why is Bakken Crude Oil coming down
the Raccoon River?
The man shuffles back and forth. Left
foot, right foot, left foot. Looking down the
entire time. A young schoolboy caught doing mischief.
“The nitrate level was out of control,” he
says as a preamble.
I reassure him that everyone understands
that problem.
“I did everything I could to make the
water safe for the people of Des Moines.
After bringing that lawsuit against the upstream counties, I was at my wits end. So
don’t judge me harshly.”
I was perplexed.
“So I made a deal.”
It began to dawn on me at last. A deal
struck in desperation. Voluntary efforts had
failed. The legislature was not supportive.
The governor was less than helpful. The
man was at the end of his rope.
“We made a swap.”
Ah, so they did. The brilliance and audacity was stunning. Who could have possibly guessed how this man had struggled in
this dance with the devil. He knew nitrates
were poisoning the water. He knew there
was no political will to address the problem.
He knew that his chances of success were
slim at best. But, the bottom line, people
needed clean water.
The land is saved. Hoorah!
But what about our drinking water?
What is the other side of the swap?
“The crude oil pipeline is quite clean.
This isn’t as crazy as it sounds. Rural water
comes through pipes. Your city water comes
through pipes. This is not a new idea.” The
man’s tone has changed. He wants me to
understand. He wants me to see what he’s
seen.
So, down the crude oil pipeline our water comes. Nitrate free. Just as mother nature intended. Wow. American creativity at
its best.
I stare at the man as he mumbles quietly to himself. He then slowly shuffles back
to the river, back below the Scott Avenue
Bridge. His long white hair blowing softly
on either side of his stocking cap — a rock
star leaving the darkened stage. Who would
have guessed?
A good man in desperate times. CV
Joe Weeg spent 31 years bumping
around this town as a prosecutor
for the Polk County Attorney’s
Office. Now retired, he usually
writes about the frequently overlooked people, places and events. But he says
this one is an April Fool’s piece and that Bill
Stowe, the CEO for Des Moines Water Works,
really does not live under the Scott Avenue
Bridge.
Money
SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED!
Compiled by Ashley Buckowing
[email protected]
Paid for by taxpayers…
in Iowa
Paid during the week of March 27
Amount: $125
To: Fareway
For: An undisclosed amount of bread bags
purchased to test the accuracy of Sen. Joni
Ernst’s statements of using the items to keep
her shoes clean as a child.
Amount: $5,389.97
To: Wal-Mart
For: Bottled water purchased by Des Moines
Water Works for employees to drink at work
because “Des Moines tap water is not currently drinkable.”
Amount: $64,001.24
To: Animal Rescue League of Iowa
For: Housing an abnormal amount of farm
animals, leaving the establishment well over
capacity.
Blue Sky Satellite is DISH Network’s
leading service provider with 12 locations in the Midwest.
We offer Paid Training, Top Hourly Rates,
4 Day Work Week, Company Vehicles,
Excellent Company Benefits
including 401(k) and
Performance & Sales Bonuses.
Amount: $40,325.78
To: Merry Maids of Des Moines
For: Cleaning the chicken feathers, hay and
excess dirt out of city buildings, including
the courthouse and City Hall.
If you are looking for a
rewarding career, apply
online TODAY at
careers.blueskydish.com
or call Chris Nine at
319-361-5119.
Amount: $405
To: Iowa Unique Bacon Producers Association
For: Specialty package of new bacon samples, including a new cat bacon variety.
Amount: $9,475.36
To: Public Works Department Street Maintenance Division
For: Mass cleanup of animal manure in the
East Village.
Amount: $2.4 million
To: Apple
For: Two iCar prototypes to be used by city
officials in the Des Moines area.
Amount: $36,996.02
To: Des Moines Critter Control
For: Removing stray and confused pigs from
Raccoon River.
Amount: $400,999.99
To: Apple
For: Repairs to the glass on the iCar prototypes.
BSS is an Equal
Opportunity Employer
LET THE
GOOD LIFE
Salaries and such
IN.
Name .......................... Storm
Title ............................ Drug-Sniffing Dog
Department ............... Iowa Department of
Transportation
Annual Salary ............ 16 bags of Purina
ONE Smart Blend
and a Milk Bone bonus
Years held position.... 4 dog years
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and let the Good Life in.
The Des Moines City Council recently approved travel expenses for the six-member Iowa
Alcoholic Beverages Safety and Tasting Council to travel to Napa, California, from April
8-18 for a 10-day tour of nine Napa Valley wineries. The tour will provide unlimited samplings, wine with complimentary cheese platters. The purpose of the trip is for the Council to
determine which wineries to partner with in order to expand Iowa’s current list of California
wines served at restaurants and available in liquor stores. This comes at a cost of $504,650 to
Iowa taxpayers. CV
Tim Brehm
515-270-4818
2929 Merle Hay Road
Des Moines
[email protected]
Subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Vehicle and Property Insurance Co. © 2013 Allstate Insurance Co.
122979
Travel
#)496)%7s!02),&//,3 s
RapSheet
Compiled by CV Staff
Two of a kind?
America’s sweetheart Taylor Swift, 25, was cited
last week for public indecency. She was reportedly
walking around with her
midriff showing, and the
sight of her belly button
strongly offended several
people. One patron was
shocked enough to report the incident to the
local police. Meredith, Swift’s well-known
cat, was with Swift at the time and held as
an accomplice to the crime.
In a strange act of friendship, Cee Lo Green, 40,
also took to walking the
streets in midriff-baring
attire in protest of Swift’s
arrest. Reports show
that a fan witnessed the
act, and after the sight
of Green’s belly button
making her young daughter cry, she reported to the police. Green was subsequently
cited for public indecency and obstruction
of justice.
Crimestoppers
This information was obtained from the Polk County Crime Stoppers website. All suspects are innocent until proven
guilty in a court of law. Des Moines Police Detective Bureau asks that anyone with information on the location or
identity of this suspect call 515-283-4864 or The Polk County Crime Stoppers anonymously at 515-223-1400.
The Urbandale Police Department is seeking help in tracking down a local
goat regarding an obstruction of correspondence charge at Merle Hay Mall
in Urbandale. The goat was last seen wearing gray fur and large horns. It
reportedly broke into the mall in the evening, presumably in search of hay,
but instead ate every piece of mail in the mall businesses’ mailboxes. If you
or anyone you know has any information regarding the goat involved in
this case, please contact the Urbandale Police Department at 555-GOAT.
Blotter — Des Moines
Stolen baby?
Police responded to a robbery report made
by Theresa Donovan on March 28. Donovan reported that she had been in rehab for
several weeks and when she returned home
it appeared that her house had been broken
into. The victim’s house had been rummaged
through, and several items including a bigscreen television, several bottles of wine and an
old purse that contained money were missing.
Donovan also told police that she hasn’t been
able to locate her 1-year-old daughter. She explained that she had been to Babies ‘n’ Beers
the night before, but the owners have not seen
her child. The investigation is ongoing.
Talk is cheep
On March 27, officials responded to a burglary at the home of Johnny Doolittle. The
victim reported that two nights ago he heard
noises from his basement but ignored them,
thinking he was just hearing things. The
next night he saw a flock of chickens at the
neighbor’s house, but just assumed that they
were the neighbor’s pets. He went away for
a night, and upon his return, he saw that his
front door had been clawed open. Nothing
had been stolen or removed from his home,
but there was a large amount of feathers and
a few eggs left throughout the main floor.
The victim explained that although his father was great with animals, Doolittle himself was always afraid of them. The intrusion
resulted in Doolittle having a panic attack
and being rushed to the hospital.
System update failed
Authorities responded to a burglary report
on March 26 made by Steve Gates. Gates
explained that he was one of the few people
granted permission to test-drive the new Apple iCar. The vehicle had been sitting in his
garage because he had to wait 48 hours for
the car to do a system update, so Gates had
been riding his bike to work. After the two
days, the victim went to his garage to check
on the iCar and noticed that someone had
broken into the garage. The $50,000 iCar
prototype had been left untouched, but all
of Gates other electronics had been stolen,
including two Microsoft laptops and a Zune
mp3 player. Gates says he could think of a
few suspects who may have committed the
crime, including another man who he had
not been getting along with recently. The
investigation is ongoing. CV
Man’s best friend
TREKFEST
R
%8<$75(.%,.(*(7)5((*($5
NewsoftheWeird
esearchers are now preparing a study
seeking to confirm that dog slobber,
by itself (and not just the psychological advantages of playing with and petting a
dog), might provide human health benefits
(such as relief from asthma, allergies and inflammation). Specialists from the University
of Arizona and University of California San
Diego point to existing evidence of the comparative healthiness of dog-owning families
and suspect that canine saliva, like yogurt,
may have unusual probiotic value.
Elf justice
Public policymaking in the United States is
often gridlocked by recalcitrant ideologues,
but at least administrators are not constrained
by elves, as in Iceland. After seven years of
controversy, the country’s Road Administration recently approved a new pathway near
Reykjavik that had been delayed by a troublesome, 70-ton boulder in the right-of-way
— which could not be dislodged because it
is believed to be a “church” for the country’s
legendary “hidden people.” The elves’ leading spokeswoman, Ragnhildur Jonsdottir,
finally declared, to officials’ relief, that the
elves had accepted the boulder’s relocation
(to the side of the road), having “been preparing for this for a long time, moving their
energy to the new location.”
A London man agreed to pay the equivalent of $500 for surgery on a nondescript
office-aquarium goldfish, to relieve its constipation. Subsequently, however, veterinarians in Scotland (charging the equivalent
of $750) performed cancer surgery on two
goldfish, and in September 2014, in Melbourne, Australia, a goldfish received “brain
surgery” (for the apparent bargain of $200).
Recurring themes
Japan may have its cat restaurants (where
loaner felines lounge during meals) and even
its penguin bar in Ikebukuro, and London
(as reported here a month ago) an experimental owl cafe (with specially domesticated
birds perched on diners’ shoulders), but not
to be outdone, an entrepreneur in Seoul,
South Korea, guesses that his Thanks to Nature Cafe will be a big hit — with sheep wandering through the dining room. (After all,
according to the lunar calendar, 2015 is the
Chinese zodiac Year of the Sheep.) Owner
Lee Kwang-ho said his novel business model
has attracted visitors from Macedonia, Saudi Arabia and New Zealand, among other
countries.
By Chuck Shepherd
Come on baby
Near Darwin, Australia, in February, an unnamed woman living in an RV came faceto-face with a snake and decided to encourage the serpent to leave — by lighting a fire
beneath the RV’s floor. The vehicle was
destroyed but, said the police superintendent, “we don’t know what happened to the
snake.”
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Supporting the troops
Federal law prohibits foreclosures and repossessions (unless by court order) against
active-duty military members, but Americans would hardly know that from observing
creditors. A 2012 Government Accountability Office report found at least 15,000 violations by U.S. financial institutions, small
and large, including J.P. Morgan Chase
(violations News of the Weird reported in
2011). In February, auto lender Santander
Consumer USA agreed to pay $9.35 million
to settle charges that it illegally seized cars of
760 service members (some while deployed
in war zones) over the last five years.
%2175$*(512'(WAS $70...NOW $59.99
%2175$*(562/67,&(+(/0(7WAS $40...NOW $32.99
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Smash-mouth competition
Dentist Leopold Weinstein, 63, was arrested in February in Camarillo, California,
and charged with suspicion of setting fire to
three competing dental offices (one for the
fourth time). One victim said the arsonist
even drilled holes in the roof and poured
in gasoline to accelerate the blaze. (Later in
February, in Hua Hin, Thailand, a 36-yearold woman was arrested for scattering screws
on a busy street in order to increase business
for her husband’s tire shop.)
Silicone artists
Padge-Victoria Windslowe, a “Gothic hiphop” performer known as “Black Madam”
who carried out buttocks-enhancement
procedures on the side (“thousands,” she
bragged) using industrial-grade silicone (and
Krazy Glue to seal the injection site), was
convicted in Philadelphia in March of the
third-degree murder of one “patient” whose
silicone leaked to her lungs. During the trial,
Windslowe told the jury she had been called
the “Michelangelo of buttocks injections” —
though the reigning overachiever still appears
to be Ron Oneal Morris, some of whose patients achieved higher booty-circumference
numbers. CV
Read more weird news at www.dmcityview.
com or www.WeirdUniverse.net.
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for real.
!02), s#)496)%7s
#)496)%7s!02),&//,3
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T
he winds of change are billowing.
The age of “we” and “us” are gone,
and it’s time to look out for No. 1.
And there’s no better sport for this than golf.
In conjunction with the City Council,
Des Moines Mayor Frank Cownie is launching the First Annual Whiffle Golf Classic
on April 5. With the recent vote giving each
member of the council a substantial pay
raise, Cownie and the council felt this might
be a novel way to pad their pockets without
overtaxing the citizens.
“I wanted to boost my pay, and when I
found out the city council members felt the
same way, I thought, ‘Why not help each
other out?’ ” said Cownie. “The people of
Des Moines know exactly what we do for
them, so I’m sure they’d have voted yes, too,
given the opportunity.”
The course will consist of one hole with
a length of 500 yards — roughly the same
distance from the house to the tree that derailed Tiger Woods’ career nearly six years
ago.
There will be three divisions. The Laymen Division will start in the skywalk and
end in the hole that used to be Younkers
downtown Des Moines store. Think bowling with inflated gutters.
“We want as many taxpayers — err, golfers — as possible to participate, and the protection from wind, rain and the size of the
hole should accommodate those new to the
game without the requirement to have any
golfing talent,” Cownie said.
The Fat Cat Division (those with a little
experience and a lot of money) will play at
a course in the Woodland cemetery. Those
city second- or third-generation civic leaders
and those with prominent ancestors resting
in Woodland cemetery will be allowed to
start from their family plot. Members of the
Hubbell family are the early favorites.
Participants in this division will face
similar obstacles that Woods faced. The hole
ends near the crashed-in fence of the cemetery on MLK Parkway.
The Municipal Division is the third division and will be held on Court Avenue in the
middle of the season’s first farmers market.
At this course, participants will be able to
make large donations to “PACs” or vendors
selling “Iowa-grown” tomatoes packaged in
boxes from Georgia for exorbitant prices.
“We really wanted this event to happen
in the heart of Des Moines where those participating could see the city in a new way and
The first-ever Whiffle Golf Classic will be
held in Des Moines on April 5.
really have a good time,” said Councilman
Bill Grey.
There has been a little controversy over
the location, but the event passed with a 6-0
vote.
“I don’t speak for the city council, but I
think the citizens of Des Moines would absolutely support the council’s decision,” said
Joe Gatto.
With the high winds and on-again-offagain rain that the city has experienced,
there’s no doubt the whiffle balls will be uncontrollable.
“Just imagine, people swinging away
trying to hit a ball that weighs as much as
a feather,” laughs Christine Hensley. “Folks
won’t know whether to be upset with themselves or the ball, but at least they will be distracted from being upset at the mayor and
council members.” CV
OnTheMove
PoliticalMercury
Submit to Eleni Upah
[email protected]
By Douglas Burns
Kum & Go buys hundreds of Kim Reynolds to pick transgender
properties throughout metro running mate in 2018
A
fter purchasing a large space of real
estate with plans to move its headquarters to downtown Des Moines,
Kum & Go has begun acquiring several
properties and spaces of land throughout
the Des Moines metro. At the time of Kum
& Go’s purchase of the Gas Lamp building
in February, the company had spent about
$14 million on land around the site of the
proposed headquarters. Now, just a month
later, Kum & Go has spent an addition
$48.3 million on properties in Des Moines,
West Des Moines, Ankeny, Johnston and
Grimes. Some of the properties include Legends, Joker’s and The Exchange bars downtown and the Grimes Post Office. Officials
at those places said they are unsure of what
will happen to their businesses at this time,
but Joker’s owners stated that it was in the
agreement that Kum & Go would have to
keep the large, smoke-blowing clown fixtures regardless of what the company does
with the space.
Dahl’s attempts to make early
comeback
After filing for bankruptcy near the end of
last year, seven Dahl’s locations were closed
or sold in the Des Moines area. Now, just
weeks after it was announced that Price
Chopper and Cash Saver would take over
most of the closing stores, Dahl’s has announced it will be building a brand-new
grocery store in Urbandale. While many residents were surprised at the news, Dahl’s has
not yet said how it intends to run the store
following the bankruptcy announcement.
However, a store representative did say the
new grocery store would look exactly like
all of the old stores and that nothing would
change in terms of product offerings, prices,
number of employees or employee salaries.
Retirement plans are still in question.
Bacon specialty store to open
in Des Moines
A specialty meat store will open on April 16
in the space formerly owned by Campbell’s
Nutrition. Called Bacon Bacon Bacon — a
possible jab at Jethro’s BBQ and Bacon Bacon — the store will offer 24 different types
of bacon, including a special section dedicated to various flavors of cat bacon. In addition to the large quantities of bacon, the
store will sell seasonings, bacon cookbooks
and cooking oils. Call 515-BACON or visit
www.catbaconornobacon.com.
Reverse parking on downtown
bridges to be eliminated
Following the test-driving of Apple’s new
iCars in the metro, city officials have decided the reverse parking spots on the bridges
downtown will not work for the driverless cars, which proved to have a hard time
navigating the lines in reverse. While Des
Moines officials said real people have absolutely no troubles backing into the slanted
spots, especially in the midst of heavy traffic
and pedestrians, the spots are not suited to
automatic cars. The parking spaces will instead be changed to forward-slanting spaces.
iCar test-drivers said the vehicles had no
problems pulling forward into spaces. Several residents have voiced complaints, saying
they shouldn’t have to sacrifice their favorite
method of reverse parking for driverless cars.
Babies ‘n’ Beers opens in Johnston
A new bar and daycare combination service
has opened in Johnston across from the
middle school. Babies ‘n’ Beers features all
the elements of a bar, but it also has an attached daycare area where parents can bring
their children while they attend happy hour.
Complete with “beer sitters,” the daycare accepts children up to 10 years old to babysit
while their parents partake in the late-night
fun. Non-alcoholic cocktails, also known as
“mocktails,” are available for children to sip
while guardians drink the hard stuff in the
other room. iCars will soon be available for
a safe ride home. Babies ‘n’ Beers is open
Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m. to 2
a.m., and Friday through Sunday, 6 a.m. to
3 a.m. Call 1-800-DAY-BEERS for more
information.
Animal feed store opens
to serve urban farmers
A new feed store has opened on Court Avenue in Des Moines to accommodate the
growing number of urban farmers in the
metro. City Fresh Feeds offers a variety of
livestock feeds and care items, including
seed mixtures and chicken coops. City Fresh
boasts affordable prices and high-quality
items suited for all sorts of animals, from
chickens to goats. Open 24-hours. Call
515-GOAT-CHOW. CV
I
n what is widely regarded among insiders as something of a political man-made
earthquake, Lt. Gov. Kim Reynolds is expected to select a transgender running mate
for her gubernatorial bid, a bold stroke sure
to sew discord in an increasingly fractured
Republican Party, but a decision Reynolds
insists is essential for positioning herself as a
pioneering leader with national profile.
According to close Reynolds allies, the
two-term lieutenant governor is “sick and
tired” of Democrats racking up barrierbreaking “firsts.” Several of her closest supporters, while seeing the clear risk of adding
a transgender candidate in the 2018 statewide campaign, support Reynolds’ reasoning and are on board with the strategy.
“First African-American this, first woman that, first Hispanic doing something
else,” says one Republican operative with
ties to Reynolds. “It never ends with the
Democrats and all their politically correct
openness. We are going to shatter that paradigm, bury it deep in the Iowa soil, just shell
shock the state with this selection. Some
western Iowa Republicans are going to need
new heart valves after we roll this out.”
A key GOP consultant says the Reynolds
move has one major benefit in terms of daydo-day campaigning: snaring the spotlight
at every parade from Muscatine to Rock
Rapids.
“When we have some chick who used to
be a dude riding around in a convertible, in
like a leather skirt, twirling a parasol into
the summer sun, adjusting a blonde wig in
the wind, it doesn’t matter how many World
War II veterans or local football heroes are
following the candidate in the parade,” says
the Republican source. “All eyes will be on
us. And that’s money in this business.”
This GOP source says a transgender candidate also will bring advantages to socialmedia branding. Many transgender people
are known by just one name — such as
“Chris” or “Kelly.”
“When you only have 140 characters for
messaging, every letter counts, and when
Republicans have a candidate who transcends the need for a surname with his or
her sheer ostentatiousness, we can get more
quickly to the activating issues for voters,”
says a Republican insider.
According to several well-placed Republicans, debate is raging in the party about
whether Reynolds should select a man who
used to be a woman, or go with the opposite
gender-bender.
The prevailing thinking, says one GOP
insider, is that many conservative Republican men are already “in the closet” where
sexuality is concerned, and may be willing
to risk political exile for the opportunity
to wear dresses and feminine accessories
they’ve coveted since adolescence.
“Getting a dude to dress like a chick
will be no problem for the Republican
Party,” says the GOP source. “We have a
deep bench where this is concerned. If we
even just crack that closet door, you’ll soon
see the big reveal. We have a lot of men in
the Iowa Republican Party who go to bed
at night dreaming of hitting the campaign
trail in high heels. The shoe section at
Younkers may be the biggest winner with
this choice.”
There’s another factor at play, campaign
consultants say.
Reynolds is relatively untested as an independent voice in the state as she’s largely
been tethered to Gov. Terry Branstad. Picking a transgender lieutenant candidate will
distract voters from expected Reynolds
gaffes during an exhausting year of campaign events, sources inside the capitol say.
What’s more, the Reynolds transgenderrunning-mate decision is seen by some political professionals as necessary to preserve contracts for highly paid consultants and media
buyers in a multimillion-dollar contest.
“In the last two election cycles, the Democrats fielded flawed candidates for governor,” says the Republican source. “Blowouts
and landslides aren’t the stuff of job security
for the Republican political talking class.
We need to give the Democrats what you
could call a point spread, something to
make this governor’s race closer, because
the Democrats aren’t going to do that themselves. Can you imagine what it will mean
for Iowa Republicans when we win Terrace
Hill with a guy on the ticket who doesn’t
even have a penis? I mean, we won’t even
have to talk about guns. Not that the two
are connected, of course.” CV
Douglas Burns is a fourth-generation Iowa newspaperman who
resides in Carroll. He and his family own and publish newspapers in
Carroll, Jefferson and other neighboring communities.
#)496)%7s!02),&//,3 s
Duffy’sView
urban
LIVESTOCK
You might be surprised to learn
what is being raised next door
by Eleni Upah
G
reg Cabbot started his backyard garden in Johnston with just a few
tomatoes, cucumbers and herbs back in 2006 because he wasn’t satisfied with the produce at local grocery stores. Living in the city all
his life, he never had much experience with gardening. With the help of the
Internet, he quickly became an expert.
“I started out with two small pots of basil and parsley and just one tomato
and one cucumber plant,” said Cabbot, who owns about half an acre of land
just a few miles west of 86th Street. “Now I’ve expanded the garden to include rhubarb, carrots, radishes and sweet corn. Oh, and the chicken coop.”
CITYVIEWs APRIL FOOLS 2015 s
A CHEEP INVESTMENT
That’s right, Cabbot has been raising chickens in his backyard for about three years
now. He bought the chickens thinking that
farm-fresh eggs would taste better, and he
liked that he could have complete control
over how they are raised.
“This way, I figure I know exactly what
they eat, how they’re treated,” Cabbot
explained. “And you’ve never had better
scrambled eggs than I make every morning.”
Raising chickens in the city has become
a growing hobby for many health enthusiasts and organic eaters in recent years. Part
of the reason is due to the affordability.
Chicken coops can be purchased for as little
as $2,000, and baby chicks run about $1 to
$5 each. Even fully-grown hens beginning to
lay eggs will cost just $15 to $25 each. Food
isn’t a huge investment either, because they
eat grains and vegetables and grass. Cabbot
said he pays three times more to feed his dog
than his six chickens.
Considering the cheap (pun intended)
cost and quality of eggs that can be produced
right outside one’s kitchen, it’s not surprising that this trend is on the upward move
among the urban and suburban populations.
Caroline Graham has been raising chickens in her backyard for almost four years
and says she’s never regretted her decision to
keep them in the city.
“I’ve lived in West Des Moines for six
years, and I was skeptical at first about bringing chickens into such a populated area,”
she said. “But I really wanted to have them,
and I wasn’t interested in moving out of the
city or to a farm. I like the convenience too
much.”
One of Graham’s concerns was the noise.
Since there’s only about five feet between
her house and each of her neighbors, she
wasn’t sure if the chickens would be too loud
to keep in her yard.
“I did some research about hens and their
noise levels, which is nothing compared to
roosters, but then I still checked with both
my neighbors to see what they thought. If
they were totally against it, I wouldn’t have
bought them.”
But Graham’s neighbors didn’t have an
issue with the thought of having chickens
next door — as long as they wouldn’t be
cock-a-doodle-doodling when the sun came
up.
“We’ve always been animal people,” said
Graham’s neighbor Kent Larson of his family’s response to having chickens next door.
“We certainly appreciated Caroline asking us first, but we never had doubts about
bringing some new friends into the neighborhood. Dogs bark around here all the
time, so we figured they couldn’t be louder
than that.”
Graham now has eight chickens and gives
sCITYVIEWs
APRIL FOOLS 2015
Margot Casey has tried a few extreme measures to prevent her goats from eating garbage
off the streets of Des Moines.
the extra eggs to the people on her block.
“My friends joke that I’m the neighborhood ‘chicken lady,’ ” she laughed.
Living in a family-friendly residential
area, Graham says she has a lot of families
who stop by in the summer because the kids
want to see the chickens. She says it’s been a
great way to meet people.
“I used to give the eggs just to my close
neighbors, but they spread the word to their
friends and neighbors, and now people just
stop by and ask for a dozen or two whenever
they need eggs,” Graham said.
“She was so sad when Trixy died, and I
knew she didn’t want another dog, but I saw
one of my friends had posted about getting
their own teacup pig, and I thought it would
be the perfect pet for Erin,” Thompson explained.
Weighing in at just 4 pounds, the pig,
fondly named Assnose, quickly earned a spot
in Stevens’ heart.
“How can you not love something this
tiny?” she asked, holding up a photo of As-
snose the day Thompson brought her over.
But Assnose wouldn’t stay 4 pounds forever. In fact, she began to grow rapidly, surprising both Stevens and Thompson, who
both had thought the maximum weight for
a teacup pig was about 12 pounds.
As it turns out, Assnose is now a hefty
200 pounds. Instead of sleeping on a soft
blanket in the corner of Stevens’ bedroom
like she used to, Assnose now sleeps on a bed
of hay in the backyard with a new friend.
“We adopted Timmy in spring 2014 because we thought Assnose needed a buddy
since we had to move her outside,” said Stevens. “They’re both about the same size, so
they play together really well.”
To many people, keeping a couple of
200-pound pigs in the backyard might seem
a bit strange. But to Stevens, they’re just two
great pets.
“Actually, we’re kind of hoping they’ll
mate so we can have new little piglets running around,” she admitted. “It might not
be the ideal situation for my neighbors, but
there haven’t been any major complaints
about Assnose and Timmy.”
But there have been a few issues with the
pigs, mainly having to do with smell and
noise. West Des Moines residents are generally accustomed to dogs barking, but not everyone has had the opportunity to live near a
pig that squeals for its dinner.
Stevens said Assnose and Timmy don’t
squeal all the time, and they’re usually good
about keeping quiet during the night. But
sometimes their noises have been enough to
disturb neighbors several houses over.
“We’ve had a few people calling us or
coming to our door and asking us about the
noises,” said Stevens. “When we tell them
about the pigs, they’re a little surprised, and
then they just kind of let it be. Well, except
for this one lady who had a few choice words
to say about us and our pigs. We stopped
answering her calls.”
THE GROWING TREND
When Des Moines resident Erin Stevens’
dog died in the summer of 2012, she thought
she would never find a pet to replace her
furry friend. But when her boyfriend Jason
Thompson surprised her with a teacup pig
the following spring, her house didn’t seem
so empty anymore.
“I honestly thought I was done with pets
after I lost Trixy,” Stevens said of her dog.
“I was just too devastated to go through that
again, but Jason came home with this sweet,
tiny little pig one day, and I fell in love with
him.”
The pig, that is. The couple has since become engaged, so it might have had a positive affect on their relationship, too.
Erin Stevens received Assnose when the teacup pig was just 4 pounds. Now she weighs
200 pounds and resides with her mate, Timmy, in Stevens’ West Des Moines backyard.
INVADING THE CITY
One reason raising animals in the city hasn’t
become the norm is the simple lack of space
to do so. Animals get bigger, and a responsible farmer must take that into consideration when choosing to raise them in the
backyard.
Animals need space to roam, especially
goats, which eat grass and weeds and love to
walk around in search of new plants to feed
on. Goats are social animals, and it is suggested that they be bought in pairs or groups
in order to keep them happy.
So while more and more people are building strong fences around their properties to
keep their goats in, they also understand the
importance of allowing them time in open
spaces.
Many of the urban farmers around Des
Moines who spoke with Cityview were hesitant to take their goats out to the streets at
first, but they soon realized the goats were as
good for the neighborhood as the neighborhood is for the goats.
“We take them out for walks at least twice
a day, usually out by the capitol building and
through the East Village,” said Margot Casey,
who raises goats to sell milk and cheese to local restaurants. “You know why these sidewalks are so clean nowadays? Because goats
are the best maintenance crew around.”
Casey said she hasn’t had to use her lawnmower in years, thanks to her three goats.
When she takes them for walks through the
city, she lets them chow down on the fallen
leaves, flowers and any stray weeds, but they
also manage to get a few pieces of stray garbage if she’s not watching carefully.
“My husband just laughs when he sees
them with a wrapper in their mouths or
something, but I try to stop them,” she
said. “Even if they like it, nobody’s stomach should have a Snickers wrapper floating
around in it.”
Whether it’s good for the goats or not,
city officials don’t mind the extra help in
cleaning up the city — especially when it’s
free. Brady Collins works on the Des Moines
Public Works Department’s Street Maintenance Division and says the growing number of goat farmers in Des Moines is the best
thing to have happened to the city.
“People litter all the time,” he said.
“Doesn’t matter how many signs you put
up, or how many trash cans you put on
each block. People just don’t care. So having
these goats running around the city, it’s like
having extra maintenance people working,
except it doesn’t cost me a dime! I think it’s
great.”
When goats first began roaming the
streets of downtown Des Moines, farmers
were pelted with questions. The Des Moines
Police Department received hundreds of
calls from concerned residents. City Coun-
cil meetings had concerned citizens showing
up and questioning the rights of the urban
farmers, not to mention the safety of Des
Moines residents.
But since there have been no recorded
incidents of goats injuring residents or creating any sort of harm in the area, the city’s
ordinances remain in favor of the horned
ones. The council recently approved the addition of new signs around neighborhoods
with goat farms so residents and visitors will
be more aware of their presence.
Many people who came to the meetings
were concerned as to why people were farming goats in the city. To the farmers, the
answer is simple: They’re close to the restaurants that want to buy their products.
Goat milk and cheese are hot items in
many of the recipes used in the kitchens at
some of the top restaurants in Des Moines.
Having access to both within just a few miles
makes for fresher ingredients, and restaurant
owners like the fact that it’s one more thing
they can buy local.
“We really try to support our local farmers because they work really hard, and farmfresh foods are just so much better,” said
Joseph Kipp, the chef behind the unique
recipes at Alba. “Goat cheese is a really versatile ingredient, so we’ve been using it in a
variety of new and old recipes.”
For Casey, urban farming was a win-win.
Although she runs a store in the East Village,
she had always wanted to get into farming.
“I grew up visiting my grandparents’
farm, and I just remember loving those visits. I really wanted to do what they did, but I
just didn’t think I could give up living in the
city,” said Casey.
That’s why she and her husband Jim
started looking into Iowa law and soon
found it was legal to raise goats in Des
Moines.
“When I learned that I could be a farmer
and keep my job here in the city, I knew
that’s what I had to do,” she said. “Now I
have a job that I’ve always dreamed of, and I
get to serve some of the local restaurants. It’s
the best decision I could have made.”
JUST ANOTHER PET
The goats may have startled the public at
first, but soon people began getting used to
their presence.
And while adults were growing accustomed to the animals about town, their
children were begging to spend more time
outside for the chance to see them roaming
the streets.
Alison Eve lives in an apartment in the
East Village with her husband and two children, ages 5 and 7, who she says are always
sitting by the windows to see if the animals
are on the streets.
“My sons were amazed the first time
Concerned neighbors on Des Moines’ westside have fears that giraffes are being used to
spy on families in their second-story bedrooms.
they saw the goats out on the sidewalk,” said
Eve. “Now they’re always begging me to
take them on walks around the city, which
is great because now they’re getting exercise
and exploring the town instead of playing
video games.”
The mild-mannered goats were receptive to petting, said Casey. She remembers
one Saturday afternoon when a couple of
kids asked to pet the goats and it ended up
drawing a crowd of hundreds of children
and their parents lining up to play with the
animals.
“The animals have all been really friendly
and gentle,” said Eve. “It’s like a city-wide
petting zoo. Even the giraffes have been
great with the kids.”
Of all the urban farms and livestock in
Des Moines, the least common specie — the
giraffes — have caused the most stir among
residents. Police received several calls about
neighbors concerned that the owners were
somehow using the giraffes to spy on them
by attaching hidden Go-Pro cameras to their
heads.
The average newborn giraffe is about
5-foot-9-inches tall, and the average male
can grow to be 17 feet, a perfect height for
peering into second-story windows.
Even for residents who trusted their
neighbors, seeing a giraffe looking through
the window while eating dinner or changing
clothes proved to be uncomfortable.
“Even though I knew (my neighbor)
John would never record me in my house
or anything creepy like that, it’s still a bit
odd to see anything with eyes staring at you
through your window,” said Suzanne Winters, whose Des Moines westside neighbor
raises giraffes. “You might expect people to
kind of peek into your windows when you’re
on the first floor of a busy street, but the second floor? That’s hard to get used to.”
About a dozen giraffes have been spotted with their heads above neighbor’s fences
since the beginning of 2015, and that number is only expected to grow as people realize
the benefits of raising large animals in the
city.
More kids are leaving their digital screens
to play with the animals, and the economy is
thriving with the addition of locally grown
farm foods. Residents are predicting an influx of urban farmers and the types of animals brought into the metro.
“Since I’ve started raising my goats, I’ve
had tons of people asking me questions
because they’re interested in getting their
own,” said Casey. “I won’t be one bit surprised when people start bringing cows and
monkeys into the city, too. Maybe even donkeys and horses, eventually.
“I don’t know if it will ever get to the
point where we see wildebeests and elephants, but, at the rate we’re eating bacon
these days, who knows?” CV
OnTheTube
Fooled again
By Bill Frost
“Outlander” returns, “Bacon House Nation” debuts, and “State Fair Terror!” terrorizes.
“Bacon House Nation”
Wednesday, April 1 (FYI)
The producers of “Tiny House Nation,” the
reality series in which families scale down
their living spaces from McMansions to custom 500-square-foot mini homes, have fried
up the next logical step: houses fashioned
entirely out of bacon. Host Padma Lakshmi
(“Top Chef”) and a team of “meat-construction specialists” (imagine that casting
call) travel the country making bacon-house
dreams come true; first up is a Des Moines
family that wants to simplify its domestic
sprawl, move into a cozy Dutch Colonial
made of locally produced pork loin and
“wake up to the smell of bacon every dang
morning.” Fun factoid: “Bacon House Nation” was rushed into production to get on
the air before the Food Network’s sizzlingly
similar “Home Sweet Ham.”
Fair Terror!” at least features some oddlyspecific casting: Michael Bacon (musical
brother of Kevin) as the mayor, Meatloaf as
the town sheriff, Carrot Top as a shady tilta-whirl operator, John Oates (mustachioed
half of Hall & Oates) as an Army general
and, most impressive of all, Jon Hamm (late
of “Mad Men”) as a local TV weatherman
with a dark past. The setup: It’s just another
pleasant day at the Iowa State Fair — until patrons begin mysteriously turning into
flesh-hungry zombie-vampires (“zompires”
for short) and attacking the still-human.
The cause is soon revealed to be a weaponized batch of Butters On a Stick from a nearby military base accidentally delivered to the
fair instead of the Middle East. Blink and
you’ll miss State Fair grandstand musical
acts like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fiona
Apple and Korn being mauled in the chaos.
“State Fair Terror!”
Thursday, April 2 (Syfy)
It’s no “Sharknado,” or even “Sharknado 2,”
but Syfy’s latest disaster-cheese epic “State
“Bar Rescue”
Friday, April 3 (Spike)
Hospitality expert/yelling machine Jon Taffer has made-over many a dive, but few as
mismanaged as Ballz N ‘Hos, a Des Moines
pool hall with a limited beer selection (“We
got Coors and Coors Light!”), billiards
tables in various states of disrepair (some
players are forced to shoot around knives
pegged into the felt) and waitresses ordered
by management to dress like prostitutes (as
discovered halfway through the episode, a
couple of them really are prostitutes who
perform services on the premises). Heated
exchanges with the bar’s DJ over his musical selections (“Why would I play anything
but Lil Wayne?! Man is a genius, yo!”) and
the bartender who’s never cleaned a glass (“I
meant to, but I kinda zone-out around the
60th Lil Wayne track”) lead to a trademark
Taffer meltdown and new branding for the
club: Sips+Strips, Iowa’s first craft beer and
artisan bacon bar.
“Outlander”
Saturday, April 4 (Starz)
When last we left Claire six months ago
(talk about time travel, Starz), she’d caught
a glimpse of a chance to return to the 1940s,
Summer
only to be pulled back into the 1740s by
Black Jack Randall, the dastardly ancestor of
her 1940s husband Frank, and then seemingly rescued by her 1740s husband Jamie
— following all of this? The second half of
“Outlander”’s first season picks up with —
spoiler alert — Claire making her way back
to the stones of Craigh na Dun and being
transported to the future. Unfortunately, she
goes too far and winds up in the 21st century
as a bacon hostess at Sips+Strips. CV
Bill Frost writes about television for Salt Lake
City Weekly, talks about it on the TV Tan
Podcast (Tuesdays on iTunes and Stitcher),
and tweets about it at @Bill_Frost.
GET YOUR
TICKETS NOW!
$30
ADVANCE
$35
DAY OF
Xk
SATURDAY, MAY 30
2 - 4 P.M.
AT PRINCIPAL PARK
$40 VIP
EARLY ENTRY
AT 1 PM
CITYVIEWBREWFEST
www.dmcityview.com or www.iowacubs.com
16CITYVIEW
APRIL FOOLS 2015
@DMBREWFEST
TechTalk
Apple hits the open road
BookReview
By Patrick Boberg
‘The Cat Bacon Cookbook’
T
I
s there a more terrifying
company in the world than
Apple? Sure, the company
offers bulletproof devices, intuitive software that seems to
know what you want before you
do. And yes, it is continually
two steps ahead of the technology market. The thing is, those
same qualities are a nightmare
for the business world. iTunes
and the iPod flipped the music
industry on its ear, the iPhone
completely redefined what a
phone is, and this coming fall,
the iCar will make whatever is
currently sitting in your garage
look like a horse-drawn carriage.
First things first. Yes, this
fall, as in October 2015. Rumors have been
creeping out to the general public the last
two years including features, patent submissions and car design, but soon enough the
cat will officially be out of the bag following
Apple’s underground iCar tour. See, gadget
and tech rumors may seem like cracks in the
machine, but the truth is, Apple’s reputation
is slyly maintained through covert marketing tactics.
Engineers leaving iPhone prototypes
in bars, the iPad being whispered about
months before it ever existed, and now Audi
clones with grill-placed Apple logos being
seen on country roads across the nation
create maximum buzz for Apple’s future
products. Yet, with the iCar, Apple is doing
something different. Apple has actually invited lower profile tech reporters to its warehouse — iCar walkthroughs — and let this
reporter be one of the first to say the iCar
will blow your mind.
Quick, make a list of the things that
grind your gears about your car. Sure, there’s
maintenance and mileage, but Apple’s innovative magic isn’t in fixing the obvious but
rather in overcoming the issues we’ve subconsciously glossed over. Let’s start with the
basics: your keys. Car keys will cease to exist starting with the iCar, and in their place
will be the driver’s iPhone. A beautiful idea
that will free up pockets across the planet.
Of course, that’s an obvious one, but
beyond unlocking and starting your car,
the iPhone will be the iCar’s wireless brain.
Say it’s a bitter cold December evening and
you’re running out to Jordan Creek Mall for
Review by P.E. Pig
he Internet may be composed of bits of code
and bytes of data, but it is built on bacon.
Bacon cake, bacon beer, bacon laced with
extra bacon, bacon shirts that proclaim an undying love for the crispy goodness, bacon candy, even
Kevin Bacon. No corner of pop culture remains
untouched. But have you seen the price of bacon
lately? It’s more than $5 a pound. Do the math. At
this rate, if you’re a bacon lover like many of us are,
you eat yourself straight
$26.99
into the porkhouse.
Bacon Bad Publishing
But never fear, good
4/1/15
Americans, researchers are
123pp
on it. In a recent study,
scientists have found
a substitute for traditional pig bacon in the only
other thing the world may like more than bacon
— cats. With memes aplenty popping up every day
— Grumpy Cat, Keyboard Cat, LOL cats — feisty
felines saturate the Facebook pages and Twitter
feeds of users everywhere. So why not combine the
two and make the ultimate in Internet foodstuffs — cat bacon. Crispy and delicious, this
alternate source of everyone’s favorite meat candy is now available at a store near you. Pick
up this book to help you make all your favorites such as I Can Haz Bacon Cheeseburgers,
Cat Bacon omelets and C.B.L.T.s (Cat Bacon Lettuce and Tomatos). How about some tasty
Kitty Bacon cupcakes? Just like the popular desserts — except made from real cats. Help your
family’s food budget and feel like a hipster all at the same time. CV
Cat Bacon
COOKBOOK
some holiday shopping. The iCar will drop
you at the door, search out a parking spot
autonomously, and when you’re ready to
head home, it only takes a text message to
the iCar for it to find the closest exit to your
phone to drive over and pick you up.
Think about it, in that scenario the
iCar drives and parks itself, waits for notice to turn itself back on, discovers your
location via GPS and notifies you where it
will pick you up! Can your Taurus do that?
As if that’s not enough, when inserted into
the dash, your iPhone turns your car into
a wireless hotspot with 4G data and phone
connectivity. That means you can let your
car do the driving while you search the web
or watch Netflix in the backseat. Plus, it
runs entirely on a special lithium battery, no
need for gasoline.
Of course the iCar isn’t perfect just yet.
The battery life is only 200 miles or 24
hours (that’s not including calls and data
usage). It does not integrate with any device
other than the next iteration of the iPhone.
Its windshield cracks at the slightest bump.
But worst of all, its retail price is more than
$50,000, and it can only be repaired at the
Apple Store.
The huge upside is the iCar will be entirely manufactured and shipped out of
Detroit. That’s right, the city built on the
back of automobile manufacturers like
Ford, Dodge and Chevy will rocket back to
prominence with Apple. CV
4BUVSEBZ
"QSJMUI
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8JOUFSt&UB$BSJOBFt1BQFSPS1MBTUJDt5FBSTPGBO"OHFM
"CV[[JOUIF(BSEFOt"5BOHMFPG.BUUFSBOE(IPTU
5JDLFUTBWBJMBCMFBUUIF)PZU4IFSNBO#PY0ďDFBNUPQN
.POEBZUISPVHI'SJEBZPSPOMJOFBUXXXIPZUTIFSNBOPSH
"EVMU$IJMESFOBOEVOEFSt(SPVQEJTDPVOUTGPSPSNPSF
$PEF4Q4I&%6t'BNJMZQBDL"EVMUT$IJMESFO$PEF4Q4I
Patrick Boberg is a central Iowa
creative media specialist. Follow
him on Twitter @PatBoBomb.
) 0: 5 4 ) & 3 . " / 1 - "$ & 5 ) & "5 & 3
8PPEMBOE"WFt%FT.PJOFT
<BMROB>P:IKBE?HHEL+)*. 17
THE SOUND
DES MOINES
Central Iowa’s connection
to the local music scene
By Chad Taylor [email protected]
Fare thee well, Des Moines
F
or nearly a quarter of a century,
Cityview has been a must-read destination for Des Moines’ music lovers.
And for the past three-and-a-half years, I
have been afforded the great honor of being the person responsible for that coverage. It has been an amazing ride, one full
of wonderful people, one-of-a-kind stories
and a lifetime of memories. But now, sadly,
it is over.
The landscape of local music in the
capital city is changing, and Cityview must
change with it. That is why the decision
was recently made to halt all of Cityview’s
music coverage, beginning immediately.
There was some talk of eliminating the
print coverage and keeping some form of
music writing online, but ultimately, that,
too, was scrapped. Rest assured, however,
that it was not due to a lack of desire: frankly, after some hard soul searching, we came
to the decision that there just would not be
that much worth covering in the future.
The city’s music venue issues have been
well bandied about in this forum and in
social media. With the closing of the Hull
Avenue Tavern and House of Bricks,
coupled with the closing of Raccoon Riv-
The day The Sound went silent.
er Brewery later this spring, the options
for seeing quality music in a quality setting have been greatly diminished in Des
Moines. Des Moines may soon see itself
with just one quality venue in the downtown corridor.
Des Moines is shifting away from local
music. 80/35’s big draws are the touring
acts; the new Hinterland Music Festival features nary a single local band; the soon-tobe lone dedicated music venue in town —
Wooly’s — makes the vast majority of its
money from national acts playing through.
Events like 515 Alive, Gross Domestic
Product, Little BIG Fest and the Turner
Jazz Series have consistently failed to stoke
the popular imagination, while venues like
the Fremont, Greenwood Lounge and
soon-to-be-open Lefty’s are too small and
too out of the way to make much of an
impression. And then there are the bands
themselves to consider. When was the last
time that you remember seeing fliers for local shows on telephone poles or hanging in
public, or, heaven forbid, a live music ad in
Cityview? Local acts feel no need to actually
promote their shows anymore, so it is difficult to justify continuing to devote space
toward doing the job for them.
So what will become of this space? In
keeping with the times, Cityview will devote more page space to things that you,
the reader, care most about. Taking a page
from The Des Moines Register, Cityview’s
computer experts analyzed Twitter in an
effort to pinpoint the things that Cityview
readers talk about most. That is why, in
the coming weeks, you will start seeing the
pages that are currently going to music be
devoted to more Nightlife photos, more
week-old movie reviews and more letters to
the editor from Rick Smith. CV
We’ve got
great racks!
BIG ones. SMALL ones.
PLASTIC ones. WIRE ones.
INDOORS or OUTDOORS.
To add your business to the list of more
than 650 locations that carry Cityview,
call 953-4822, ext. 316.
18CITYVIEW
APRIL FOOLS 2015
THE SOUND
Central Iowa’s connection to the local music scene
By Chad Taylor [email protected]
SOUNDCHECK
SOUND CIRCUIT
Various Artists
Envy Corps calls it quits
“Hooray For Branstad”
Maximum Ames
A
A
rguably the most successful act
not named Slipknot to come out
of Iowa has walked away from
the recording studio where they were
working on their next album and decided to go their separate ways.
In a move befitting central Iowa’s
most intellectually emo act, the official
statement released by the band takes
great pains to avoid using words like
“break up” or “end,” instead calling the
move an “indefinite hiatus.” But for
those close to the action, the writing is
on the wall.
As Corps members have found other
projects to focus more and more of their
time on — Scott Yoshimura and his
band Canby; Brandon Darner and his
production work — The Envy Corp
had become less and less of a priority.
The band had recently gotten together
to work on its long-awaited follow up to The Envy Corps in happier days.
2011’s “It Culls You,” but work on the
continuation of the band unlikely, Envy Corp’s members will
unnamed album was slow going.
“We’d be jamming on a song, and my mind would keep return to the projects that seem to have divided them. And
going back to my other band,” Yoshimura admitted in a while fans may lament the move, Envy Corps’ members are not
phone interview. “I keep feeling like Canby is almost where it missing a beat. Yoshimura, vocalist Luke Pettipoole and guitarneeds to be. I think that, with two more horn players, another ist/synth man Micah Natera all have other bands to focus on,
guitar, an extra drummer, four more singers and maybe a zam- and Darner may soon find himself pulled in two directions.
“I’ve got my production studio, which is busier than ever,”
pogna player or two, the sound could really come together.”
“I was really into being a part of Envy Corps while Envy Darner said. “But now, since Slipknot is considering firing
Corps was a viable, volatile thing,” Darner added. “But the Mick Thompson, Shawn Crahan contacted me about coming
minute it became clear that not everyone’s head or heart was back and playing with them on tour. So, regardless of where
The Envy Corps goes in the future, if anywhere at all, it’s safe
into it, it was like, ‘What are we even doing?’ ”
Now, with the new album’s future seemingly dead and the to say that my plate is full.” CV
SOUND BYTES
T
he Des Moines Music Coalition has announced that all of the free stages at this year’s 80/35 Music Festival will be
populated by Tibetan throat singers... Indie darling two-piece MAIDS announced recently that they have actually just been playing the same song over and over, and they are a little surprised nobody has noticed yet... The Des
Moines Symphony Orchestra has announced the hiring of local street corner icon Smiley as the replacement for outgoing
conductor Joe Giunta... Sam Summers has announced a new, adult-themed addition to the Hinterland Music Festival.
Named “NetherRegions Park,” the interactive area will include a lube slide and something called “Paddle Forrest.”
Finally, the Pick o’ the Week is online. Set your browser to Yahoo.com anytime in the next week to live stream great
concerts from Meghan Trainor, Maroon 5 and Kings of Leon. Mahalo. CV
s the past couple
of state elec- Hooray
tions have clearly for
shown, Iowa loves Terry
Branstad. We might all
give him a hard time for
the ever-present mustache, but at the end of
the day, we think he is a
swell guy who genuinely
wants the best for each and every Iowan. To help vocalize that love, Maximum Ames records has teamed
up with some great central Iowa bands to create a musical celebration of America’s longest-serving governor.
And the label has made sure to include something for
everyone, as the album includes tracks from the likes
of Dark Mirror, Brother Trucker, Rae & The Honeybees, The Envy Corps, Patresa Hartman, Joe & Vicki
Price and Koby Jones. It is hard to pick any one track
as standing out from the rest, because it is clear that everyone involved is singing from the heart and sincerely
giving their all for the man who single-handedly keeps
Iowa out of financial ruin. CV
Branstad
Sean Combs
“Puffy: Cash Money”
Bad Boy
pparently having
PUFFY:
realized that he
is out of posthumous Notorious B.I.G
tracks to release, Sean
Combs has turned his
sights on a new target to
memorialize as only he
can: Johnny Cash. If you
have never heard Cash
autotuned before, here is your chance with Combs’
own rapped “reimaginings” of “Ring of Fire” and “I
Walk the Line.” In a curiously meta move, the album
also includes Nine Inch Nails covering Cash’s cover of
NIN’s “Hurt.” At first blush, it seems like a poignant
remark on the transience of ownership and the futility
of success in a world where the only certainty is death.
But in a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Combs
admitted that he didn’t realize the song was a cover,
and picking NIN for the album was just a crazy coincidence. CV
A
Cash
Money
Chad Taylor is an award-winning news journalist and music writer from Des Moines who would love to take his talents abroad if the
rent were not so much more affordable in Des Moines.
THE SOUND
Lead.
Or
follow.
FRONT ROW
FRED
at Wells Fargo Arena
by Dan Hodges
t m
f @dmcityview
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sign up at
www.dmcityview.com
cityview magazine
Faleswood Mac
at Wooly’s
by Dan Hodges
Look for our new
Summer catalog
in Cityview
April 17!
Language,
and so much more!
Call
242-8521
www.dmced.org
Terry B’s Wax
at Val Air Ballroom
by Dan Hodges
20CITYVIEW
APRIL FOOLS 2015
IG and the Bearded Strangers
at Gas Lamp
by Dan Hodges
Crossword
WhatThe...#!&%?
By Matt Jones
I’m confused
Think you’re funny?
Freestyle, me-style
Send us your best caption...
Email to: [email protected]
Next week’s photo:
This week’s winner:
“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much
love drives a man insane. You broke my will, oh what a thrill.
Goodness gracious great balls of fire.”
C. Butts
Runners-up:
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it
means to me.”
Paul G.
“Billie Jean is not my lover. She’s just
a girl who claims that I am the one.”
Jim McCool
Send your “What The...?” caption and image entries
to [email protected]
Deadline for entries is Monday at noon.
ACROSS
1) Nutty person (and new OED
entry of 2014)
12) Talk freely
15) Ziti and such
16) AP competitor
17) Genre for “The Breakfast Club”
or “A Catcher in the Rye”
18) Cornelius of “Soul Train”
19) People and language in Clint
Eastwood’s “Gran Torino”
20) Waiting for a real person,
maybe
22) “Imagine that!”
27) ___ Popken (plus-size clothing
retailer; hidden in PULLABLE)
28) Abu Dhabi’s loc.
30) Secretly schemed against
33) Ice cream shop item
36) Lot for Londoners
37) Nut
41) Away from the workplace for
good
43) Magician Harry, Sr. or Harry, Jr.
46) Designation ditched after smoking bans
47) Robert Indiana stamp insignia
48) Did some dirty dancing
51) Wipes clean
54) “Does that ring ___?”
57) Like a new coat, at first?
58) Acknowledges, with “to”
63) ___ heartbeat
64) Lacking feeling
65) Roofing sealant
66) 1955 hit about coal mining
DOWN
1) Suffix after sand or Man
2) Director Egoyan
3) Army surplus store stuff
4) Kevin who played Dave
5) 1980s teammate of Bird and
McHale
6) Former UN Secretary General
___ Hammarskj ld
7) “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss” singer
8) Switch status
9) 1950 film noir classic
10) Ad image
11) Genesis locale
12) Ballet star Nureyev
13) Theater with a log rubbed for
good luck
14) Odist with a type of ode named
for him
21) “Sons of Anarchy” star Charlie
23) Noises from chopper blades
24) Old-school comedian Buddy
25) Bouncers ask for them
26) Tourist activity of declining
popularity?
28) Bar code
29) Pie ___ mode
31) Musician on the road
32) “Gas Food Lodging” actress
Skye
34) Rack contents
35) Tetra’s home
38) Looked after
39) Particle suffix, in physics
40) Warehouse qty.
42) AAA job
43) Messed up big-time
44) John Bobbitt’s ex-wife
45) 2009 film set on the planet
Pandora
49) Part of DKNY
50) Guy who was all thumbs?
52) Shield bearing Medusa’s head:
var.
53) Apple tech support?
55) Attachment on property
56) Fords produced until 1991
59) ___ populi
60) Sinus specialist, for short
61) “___ Drives Me Crazy” (1989
#1 hit)
62) Bee chaser?
Solution for last week
CenterStage
FilmReview
By John Domini
Show me the money!
Ball busters
H
P
illary Clinton can wear a director out.
The former Secretary of State, even
in late rehearsal for the PAC-funded
show at Stagewest, keeps quibbling over
stage directions.
“Stage left?” asked Clinton. “That depends on your definition of ‘left.’ ”
With the presidential campaigns beginning to show signs of catching fire, there isn’t
time to go back to basic blocking. Still, soon
enough Hillary raised another objection.
“Why does everyone keep trying to move
me to the left, anyway?” she asked. “Why
can’t I do the whole play from a strong centrist position?”
The director, Christopher McLinton,
sighed and tried again.
“This is drama, Madame Secretary,”
he said. “In drama, see, the people have to
move around...”
“The people?” snapped the former First
Lady. “I’m the only one who can speak for
the people! I’ve promised to represent all
Americans, everywhere, whatever their background!”
Later, when asked her input on what the
show’s title should be, Clinton waffled between “At Least We’re Not the GOP!” and
“Bitches Wear Blue (Dresses)!”
McLinton slumped and stepped away
after a few hours, hoping to get some help
from Todd Buchacker, the man in charge
at Stagewest. But Buchacker couldn’t be
reached. Backstage, in a dim, one-light office
in the deep confines of the venue, Buchacker
was busy swimming — in money.
And it was a lot of money. More money,
by far, than local stages have ever seen.
The checks had arrived. Huge checks.
Once those funds began to flow into Iowa
in 2015, theater companies around Des
Moines saw an opportunity.
“The presidential campaigns have been
nothing but theater for years,” Buchacker
22CITYVIEW
APRIL FOOLS 2015
said. “We’re just trying to provide professional standards.”
When one playgoer at the conference
complained that mounting the months long
productions might mean the city wouldn’t
have a Christmas show, Playhouse Executive John Viars stepped to the podium for a
quick, point-blank response.
“It’s all about the Benjamins,” he said.
“With this kind of cash, we can buy Christmas shows till Jesus comes back.”
At the Playhouse, rehearsals for the GOP
show hit a number of rough patches, too.
Everyone agreed on the title, “Obama Be
Gone!” but continued to squabble over who
belonged in the cast.
“Donald Trump?” Sen. Ted Cruz of
Texas shouted in disbelief during one rehearsal. “Are you kidding? I’ve got hair on
my ass that’s softer than his rug!”
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, former
Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and New Jersey Gov.
Chris Christie huddled offstage awaiting
their cues. The banter between the trio was
relaxed and surprisingly team-like. So much
so that, to an outsider, their pseudo-playful
chatter could have easily been perceived as
somewhat of a strategy session.
“You know what? I’m gonna mosey out
there and say, ‘Read my lips.’ It’s all I got,
boys,” Bush leaned in and whispered with
the pride of former Texan.
Walker paused, took a long drag on his
gold-pated iCig and looked to the rafters in
deep thought. As if on cue, nine seconds later, his moment of clarity arrived. He grinned
and removed the smoking mini-rod from his
lips.
“I’m going to punt,” he said.
Christie managed a small laugh before
adding that he wasn’t going to worry about
it right now either.
“I’ll close that bridge when I get to it,”
he said. CV
By Darren Tromblay
int-size producer and documentarian
Dick “The Stick” Prix (pronounced
“Pree”) is renowned for his ability to
take seemingly innocuous, clean-as-a-lilly
subjects and find their dark sides. Take for
instance his 2011 critically acclaimed documentary “Finders Keepers, Losers Sweepers,” a fascinating look the secret world of
nighttime high school janitors, which provided insight and answers to the decades-old
question of, “What the hell do they do in
there every night with the doors locked?”
Following an 18-month sabbatical in
which Prix gained 147 pounds and “more
chins than a Chinese phone book,” he strode
back into filmmaking with a vengeance. On
Feb. 29, 2015, he released his latest gem,
“Kicked in the Nuts: Elementary Dear Watson,” a gut-wrenching flashback-based story
of how a rubber ball altered the lives of nine
second-grade boys during a game of kickball
at a local elementary school.
In the film, Prix took a great amount
of skillful-yet-risky artistic license in filming from a vastly underused viewpoint —
ground level. By taking things to a new low,
he made his pint-sized subjects look almost
— for lack of a better word — real. His skillful capturing of an 8-year-old John Hockett
punching a comparably diminutive Danny
Turdstill in the nose after Turdstill pitched
him a “bouncer,” was as shocking as it was
insightful, giving viewers a grim look into
the world of an all-too-ignored elementary
playground thug’s life.
Equally as disturbing were the hidden
microphone recordings of the pony-tailed
girls that were captured near the merry-goround while the boys went about their ballbusting ways. Viewers will no longer see the
spinning wheel of laughter as a place of merriment after hearing phrases such a “yucky
poopy head,” and “dumb-dumb stinky butt”
emerge from the mouths of these babes.
But the side
“Kicked in the Nuts:
plots
aren’t Elementary Dear Watson”
enough to cast
Rated PeeG (language
shadow
over arts, stimulated violence)
Prix’s intent to
122 mins.
expose the game
****
of kickball as
something much
more devious than it has been portrayed
in the public eye across the years. In Prix’s
film, kickball is but a homonym wrapped in
a pseudonym that hatches into a tyrannical
haiku — a gentle alienation of alliteration.
Prix’s trademark directorial move — the
cessation of reality where reality should cease
— is still a part of his celluloidal arsenal.
Again and again, the round, reddish, basketball-sized rubber object is demonized in
multiple sets of slow-motion sequences. In
one achingly auspicious moment, we see an
awkward, athletic-less 8-year-old Lyle Robertson approach a pitched ball with ferocious
intent, only to have the rounded red demon
take an odd hop at the last second, causing
a “leg whiff.” Prix expertly catches the ensuing moments by placing multiple Go-Pro
cameras on Robertson’s tears as they fall in
slow motion to the ground toward the nowstopped kickball, which looks up at the boy
with newly-formed eyes, a nose and a deviant, smiling mouth in place of the air pressure valve. Simultaneously, on the pitcher’s
mound, Teddy Rogers’ Spiderman Underoos fill with a coarse offering of yellow-ish
“liquid joy.”
And that’s just the first 15 minutes.
Much like opening moments of the Academy Award-Winning “Saving Private Ryan,”
“Kicked In the Nuts,” will grab your attention from the outset and refuse to let go of
your testicular fortitude. That’s a blessing in
blue, served round, sound and shaven. See
this movie and head to your local chapel afterward to thank God for Prix like Dick. CV
Cityview
Bacon lust bottoms out
I
t’s been almost four
years since American economics
lost its biggest
food star. In July
of 2011, pork
bellies were removed from listed
commodities traded
on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. For 50 years before then, they
served as a kadigan for all commodity trading
and the butt of most jokes about commodity
futures. They also helped farmers and traders manage risk at a time when bacon was
a much more seasonal food, because frozen
bellies could be stored for long periods.
Pork belly futures ironically became a
casualty of the meteoric rise in the popularity of bacon. As fat paranoia was alleviated
by updated nutritional science (that has to
be an oxymoron), people rushed to indulge
their lust for bellies (which are 92 percent
fat). Like cheese before it, bacon began appearing in all kinds of dishes, from salads
and potatoes to ice cream and chocolate.
And bacon no longer referred exclusively to
pig meat, at least in America. One can easily
find bacon today that is made with soybeans,
coconut, tempeh, elk, deer, buffalo, beef,
turkey, duck, seitan, lamb and combinations
of all the above. Colorado marijuana farmers
are branching out into pork bellies from pigs
raised on a diet of the wacky weed.
Until marijuana is legalized in Iowa, our
farmers cannot compete for that coveted
Bites
Local dining guide
By Jim Duncan
FAYE’S FREE RANGE SNAKE BACON
U.S. Highway 30, Sanborn, Iowa
Food
Dude
Faye Newman of rural Sanborn raises a variety of snakes in her garden.
market. Instead, they are concentrating on
better pigs — Berkshires, Tamworths, Black
Beauties, Iowa Swabian Hall, etc. The latter
is so celebrated that Backpocket Brewing has
named its newest ale after it. One controversial farmer is harvesting bellies from something that makes perfect sense to her but has
neighbors trying to shut her down.
Faye Newman of rural Sanborn says that
free-range snake belly bacon is a sustainable
food of the future. “Snakes and bellies are
practically synonymous. I am pretty sure the
Bible says so. The Creator gave the snake a
Buy one 1/4 pound Barbeque Bacon Cheddar Burger and medium soft drink
and get one 1/4 pound Barbeque Bacon Cheddar Burger
FREE!
body — a beautiful sexy body — that has
a higher percentage of belly than any other
of God’s creatures. Even if you don’t believe
in Scripture, you have to have noticed that,”
she told Cityview in an exclusive interview.
“I don’t like talking to the agricultural
press anymore. They all are bought and sold
to the Farm Bureau, which is bought and
sold to industrial agriculture. That is why
they’re against anything that is organic and
natural.”
When asked how she could be sure her
free-ranged snakes were consuming an or-
$
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off
GREAT FOOD!
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any order of $50 or more
SERVICE!
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1105 - 73rd Street s 1500 E Euclid Avenue
4820 SE 14th Street s4565 - 86th Street, Urbandale
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3635 - 8th Street SW, Altoona
ganic diet in a county that is heavily planted
with GMO crops, Newman replied. “I mean
organic in the Biblical sense, not as Farm
Bureau’s lackeys at the Department of Agriculture define it. Snake belly is far more
Biblical than pork belly, which the Hebrews
won’t eat. Even the Arabs won’t eat it, neither the Suni ones nor the Shiitey ones. That
ought to tell you something.”
Asked if she was claiming her snake bellies were kosher, Newman said she didn’t
really delve too deeply into the way the Hebrews and Arabs interpreted Holy Scripture.
“My deacon is the only voice I listen to, even
when I spend the whole weekend camping at
Okoboji,” she said.
Newman added that her free-ranged
snake bellies are selling quite well, “particularly in Brooklyn, Appalachia, Northern
California and Portland, Oregon.” She also
has a smokehouse shop in Spencer. “I’ll tell
you why I will never live in a big city like
Spencer. Those people act like us farmers are
disgusting. Where do they think their food
comes from? All the time people come into
the shop and complain about the smell. I
hate that. My snakes don’t smell. I explain
to them that they are smelling the rats and
mice I raise there to finish the snakes. They
give them a much fattier belly. It gets me really mad when people think snakes are dirty
and smelly. That’s what I mean about the
ignorance of city folk.” CV
Try us for a fast and
delicious lunch!
STOP IN TO
CABO SOL
TODAY!
5010 Mills Civic Pkwy. in WDM t 223.6319
For real.this, are you?
You’re not believing
1 coupon/party. Not valid with any other offer.
Valid with coupon only. Expires 5/15/15.
1/2
price
Lunch or Dinner
Combination
Buy 1 lunch or dinner combination,
get the 2nd, of equal or lesser value,
at 1/2 price!
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2 - 8, 2015 s#)496)%7s 23
CityviewBites
American
B-Bops: We have the best burgers in town! For 21
years we’ve won Cityview’s “Best of Des Moines” readers’ poll and are proud to serve these burgers at more
than seven locations throughout the metro. Multiple locations in Des Moines, Ankeny, Altoona, Urbandale and
Ames. www.b-bops.com.
Big City Burgers and Greens: Located on the
first level in Capital Square in Downtown Des Moines,
Big City is fresh, healthy and socially responsible. Serving local meats and greens, using organic beef and freerange poultry and being one of Iowa’s first 100 percent
compostable restaurants, Big City is “green.” Catering
also available. 400 Locust St., St. 195, 537-8433. Order
online at www.bigcityburgersandgreens.com.
The Club Car: While great food and service may be
the “primary products” of The Club Car, the casual atmosphere also elicits captivation from the moment you
walk in the front door. Railroad memorabilia, original
framed posters, model train cars and signs from “way
back” always draw attention. 13435 University Ave.,
#200. Clive. 226-1729. www.clubcardining.com.
Food Arcade: The Food Arcade offers a wide array
of grab-and-go food options like whole or by-the-slice
pizza, burgers, tenderloins, wings, fries, hot beef sandwiches, homemade soups, subs, ice cream and much
more. Open 10 a.m.–7 a.m. daily. Meskwaki Bingo and
Casino, 1504 305th St., Tama. (641) 484-2108. www.
meskwaki.com.
Holiday Inn Cityscape Lounge: Discover the
delicious Cityscape Lounge for downtown dinner and
drinks… with a view! Located in the Holiday Inn downtown, Cityscape Lounge offers daily Happy Hour drink
specials and half-price appetizers Monday-Friday during
Happy Hour. From our almond-crusted tenders and skyline platter to our cowboy steak and old-world, baked
cavatelli pasta… whatever you do, make sure you save
room for dessert! Come escape the day and enjoy the
view. 1050 Sixth Ave. 283-0151.
Jackpot Buffet: The Jackpot Buffet at Meskwaki
Casino is one of the largest buffets in the Midwest with
more than 20 homestyle entrée choices along with our
fresh, never-frozen, broasted chicken, many homemade
desserts and, of course, our famous Friday Seafood
Night featuring jumbo snow crab, shrimp scampi, fried
whole catfish, fried shrimp, herbed-baked fish, clam
strips and many other seafood favorites. The Jackpot
Buffet is also well known for an outstanding breakfast, which is served daily Monday through Saturday.
Meskwaki Bingo and Casino, 1504 305th St., Tama.
(641) 484-2108. www.meskwaki.com.
Quinton’s: Located at 506 E. Grand in the East
Village, Quinton’s is open seven days a week from 11
a.m.-2 a.m. and serves food until midnight. Our unbeatable all-day drink specials are supplemented with a daily
happy hour from 3-7 p.m. featuring $3 23-oz. domestic
Big Girl beers, $4 premium Big Girls, $5 Big Girl mixed
drinks and half-price chips and salsa, C.C.Q. and spinach artichoke dip. We can accommodate groups of up
to 60 people. Visit us at www.quintonsdm.com to check
our menu of unique sandwiches, breadbowl soups, giant loaded spuds, fresh salads and gourmet burgers,
with take-out always available.
Trostel’s Greenbriar: Trostel’s Greenbriar is offering a new menu featuring five seasonal specialties,
cracker-crust pizzas, and of course, your favorite entrees. Not just for special occasions but for every occasion when you want… Simply the best! Reservations
accepted. 5810 Merle Hay Road, Johnston. 253-0124.
www.greenbriartrostels.com.
Twin Peaks: Twin Peaks is your ultimate man cave.
48 big screen TVs, made-from-scratch comfort food, 29
degree beer; all served up by our beautiful Twin Peaks
girls. Eats-Drinks-Scenic Views. 4570 University Ave.,
West Des Moines. 528-8294.
Asian
King & I: Authentic Thai cuisine as well as sushi bar at
86th Street and University Avenue in West Des Moines.
Dine in or order to go. Head Chef Mao Heineman. Beer,
wine and sake served. Select American menu items for
kids of all ages. Our 11th year! Please come and enjoy
with our Thai family. 1821 22nd St., West Des Moines.
440-2075. www.king-and-i-thaicuisine.com.
BBQ
Jethro’s BBQ ‘n Bacon Bacon: Featuring all of Jethro’s World Famous BBQ along with a large variety of
specialty bacon entrees and “Breakfast Always,” our
900-pound smoker slow-smokes the bacon and all of
the “amazing slow-smoked meats” that have made Jethro’s the largest independent purchaser of pork in the
state of Iowa. Jethro’s has built a national reputation
with our slow-smoked meats, and we serve and sell our
own branded, thick-cut hickory and oak smoked bacon.
Jethro’s BBQ ‘n Bacon Bacon features 22 big screen
high-definition TVs showing every sports channel available. Bacon, bourbon and specialty bloody mary’s are
featured in the full-service bar, along with local specialty
craft beers from around the State of Iowa. We are everything “Bacony.” 1480 22nd St., West Des Moines.
868-0888
Jethro’s BBQ: If you’re looking for some of the best
BBQ in town, this Drake neighborhood sports bar is the
place to go. Jethro’s racked up the awards in Cityview’s
2011 “Best Of Des Moines” readers poll, winning Best
BBQ and runner-up for Best American Food and Best
Nachos. Serving ribs, pork, beef brisket, whole chickens
and turkey that is smoked daily in our 750-lb. capacity
smoker. Stop by and see why we are the best. 3100
Forest Ave., Des Moines; 2601 Adventureland Drive,
Altoona; 9350 University Ave., Waukee; 1425 S.W.
Vintage, Ankeny, and 5950 56th St., Johnston. www.
jethrosdesmoines.com.
under new ownership 3ATURDAY(APPY(OUR
Every weds and Sundays are 2.99$ 16 OZ margaritas
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Fish bowl margaritas ..frozen
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5NIVERSITY!VENUEs#LIVEs
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CityviewBites
Jethro’s BBQ Pork Chop Grill: The State Fair
Pork Chop, Pork Chop on a Stick, The Shake and Bake
Pork Chop, a Stuffed Pork Chop, a double cut Smoked
Pork Chop — you will find them all here as Jethro pays
homage to the 21 million pigs in Iowa. This brand new
Johnston Jethro’s features 29, huge 60- and 70-inch TVs
that will bring you all the sports. Twin 900-lb. smokers cook all of Jethro’s award-winning “Amazing Slow
Smoked Meats.” Jethro’s Pork Chop Grill, Your Johnston
Neighborhood Sports Bar. 5950 N.W. 86th St., Johnston. 421-4848. www.jethrosdesmoines.com.
Woody’s Smoke Shack: Woody’s has championship BBQ and offers catering, dine-in or carry out options. Home to the best corn bread in Iowa. Come early,
call ahead or even fax your order! 2511 Cottage Grove
Ave. Phone: 277-0005. Fax: 277-0022. www.woodyssmokeshack.com.
Catering
CateringDSM: Catering DSM, located in Capital
Square in downtown Des Moines, offers a full range of
catering services and cuisine options. With partnerships
with venues such as Dos Rios and Big City Burgers and
Greens, Catering DSM can do it all; from playoff parties
to office parties to wedding receptions. Contact us to
plan your next event! 400 Locust St., Suite 193, 5080829. www.CateringDSM.com.
“Amazing Slow Smoked Meats.” The Cajun Creole Creations made famous at Jambalaya are proudly served.
Imagine how good the taste of walleye served fresh
from the lake is at Jethro’s LAKEHOUSE, Your Ankeny
Neighborhood Sports Bar. 1425 S.W. Vintage Parkway,
Ankeny. 289-4444.www.jethrosdesmoines.com.
Coffeehouse
Smokey Row: Open Monday through Thursday 6 a.m.10 p.m., Friday 6 a.m.-11 p.m., Saturday 7 a.m.-11 p.m.
and Sunday 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 1910 Cottage Grove,
Des Moines. 244-2611.
Deli
Palmer’s Deli & Market: At Palmer’s, we believe in
“Great Food. Great Health. Great Life.” Palmer’s Deli
is about community, family, and quality food — quality
products and quality ingredients. We offer many delicious choices to eat right and live healthy. We use fresh
products when preparing our sandwiches, soups and
salads. Our breads and desserts are baked from scratch
every day. Classic favorites… irresistible tastes! 4949
Westown Parkway #180, West Des Moines. 223-0123.
7509 Douglas Ave. #1, Urbandale. 270-6561. 655 Walnut St. #219, Des Moines. 288-4466. 110 N. Ankeny
Blvd. #200, Ankeny. 963-4500. 2843 Ingersoll Ave., Des
Moines. 274-4004. www.palmersdeliandmarket.com
Jethro’s BBQ Jambalaya: What a concept! Barbecue
and Cajun Creole Creations all served in Your Waukee
Neighborhood Sports Bar. It doesn’t get any better than
this made-from-scratch cooking. Serving all of Jethro’s
“ Amazing Slow Smoked Meats” plus Cajun food favorites like Jambalaya, Red Beans ‘n’ Rice, Crawfish Etouffe
and Spicy Gumbo. Try the Alligator or the BBQ Shrimp;
the blackened Mahi is as close as you will come to the
Big Easy in Iowa. The Cajun sampler platter will tickle
your tummy. Jethro is hooping and hollering excited
for you to come visit. 9350 University Ave., West Des
Moines. 987-8686. www.jethrosdesmoines.com.
Jethro’s BBQ Lakehouse: Jethro has built his very
own LAKEHOUSE in the booming city of Ankeny. Two
patios overlook the serene water of Prairie Trail Lake
as a giant moose and trophy elk gaze. 22 big screen
TVs bring you all the sports action. Twin, 750-lb. hickory fired smokers cook all of Jethro’s award-winning
Greek
Yanni’s: We offer a wide variety of fine Greek and Italian dishes prepared by a team of professional chefs and
wait staff. Our commitment is to provide a high-quality,
authentic dish at an affordable price. Our menu offers a
rainbow array of Greek and Italian dishes that are guaranteed to please the most demanding taste. Not only do
we offer Des Moines and Ankeny fine Greek and Italian
cuisine, but we also have a fully stocked wine menu and
full bar/lounge. Have a business meeting, reception or
just a get together? We have private facilities and meeting room available for the asking. 3160 8th St. S.W.,
Altoona (515) 957-9391. 410 S. Ankeny Boulevard,
Ankeny, (515) 965-7802. Tues-Fri: 11 a.m.-9 p.m.,
Saturday 4-10 p.m., Sunday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. (Brunch).
Closed Monday.
Indian
Diner
Cajun
of commercial kitchen equipment and supplies to the
foodservice industry. 2701 Delaware Ave. 265-2554.
www.boltonhay.com
Law Equipment: Serves all your restaurant, food
service and bar equipment needs. New and used equipment, smallwares and glasswares in stock. Full line
dealer. If we don’t have it, we can get it. Ground up
design services available. Special orders welcome from
one piece to complete build out. 10095 Hickman Court,
Suite B, Clive. 334-5036. www.lawequipment.com.
Crouse Cafe: Crouse Café is located off Indianola’s
Town Square – just a short drive from Des Moines’ south
side. The third-generation, family-run eatery is proud to
offer the best in homemade. Whether stopping by for
breakfast, lunch or dinner, Crouse Café is serving up
all your favorites including biscuits and gravy, hot beef
sandwiches and pork tenderloins. Or stop by for just a
piece of homemade pie – you won’t be disappointed.
115 E. Salem Ave., Indianola. 961-3362.
India Star: Welcome to India Star, offering the best
Indian cuisine in Des Moines. Here you delight in the finest variety of authentic North Indian dishes. Come and
enjoy an exceptional and memorable dining experience!
Dinner reservations accepted. We also offer take-out
and catering services. Lunch buffet is Monday-Saturday
11:15 a.m.-2:15 p.m. Dinner is Monday- Saturday 5
p.m.–9:30 p.m. Closed on Sundays. 5514 Douglas Ave.,
Des Moines. 279-2118.
Italian
Food / Restaurant
Products
Bolton & Hay: Established in 1920, Bolton & Hay Inc. is
a locally owned and family operated foodservice equipment business based in Des Moines. Bolton & Hay’s
mission is to provide quality foodservice equipment and
supply products at discounted factory direct prices to our
valued customers. Bolton & Hay is your leading source
Biaggi’s Ristorante Italiano: Biaggi’s is a fun, casual, white-tablecloth restaurant that offers an extensive
menu featuring a full selection of house-made and imported pasta, soups, salads, pizza, seafood, fresh fish,
chicken, veal, steaks and desserts. Fresh. Affordable.
Italian. 5990 University Ave., West Des Moines. 2219900. www.biaggis.com.
Cosi Cucina: Under new (old) ownership and
Find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter @El_AguilaReal for
DAILY
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“NADA ES IMPOSIBLE”
LENTEN SPECIAL
Every Friday during Lent
BEAN FLOUR TACOS
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3520 Beaver Ave.
Des Moines
MONDAYS
$1.99 MARGARITAS
SAVE ON LUNCH
SAVE ON DINNER
*Dine in only
*Dine in only
Buy one
Lunch
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Frozen Strawberry, Lime, Mango and Peach
– or – On the Rocks
$1.502nd off
Lunch
$3.00 off
newly remodeled, enjoy a romantic atmosphere with
cheerful service. A Des Moines favorite for more than 21
years, try a house favorite pasta or pizza from the original wood-burning oven. Make sure you save room for
Cosi’s famous cheesecake! They offer a variety of wineby-glass and select bottles. 1975 N.W. 86th Street,
Clive. 278-8148
Noah’s Ark Ristorante: Noah’s Ark Ristorante
has been a well-known Ingersoll tradition for decades. It
offers a comfortable, relaxed, inviting atmosphere combined with a friendly and helpful staff. Serving up a full
menu of delicious Italian cuisine, you are sure to find
something you love. 2400 Ingersoll Ave. 288-2246.
Tumea & Sons: Don’t feel like cooking dinner?
Come to Tumea & Sons for a tasty Italian meal. With
a host to choose from including traditional pasta dishes
and homemade Italian pastries – the whole family will
be satisfied. 1501 S.E. First St., Des Moines. 282-7976.
www.tumeaandsons.net
Mediterranean
Fresh Mediterranean Express: Fresh meets Waukee.
When you enter our doors you will be greeted by the
sights, sounds and scents of the Mediterranean. Send
your taste buds on a journey of discovery with our fresh
menu items. Now open at 15 N.E. Carefree Lane, Waukee. 987-6870. www.freshmediterraneanexpress.com.
Mexican
Cabo Sol: Cabo Sol is a great place to eat — combining a family-friendly atmosphere with great tasting,
authentic food that will make your taste buds have a
fiesta. Come in to enjoy our daily specials. Inside dining,
carry-outs, catering and full-service bar. 5010 Mills Civic
Parkway, West Des Moines. 515-223-6319.
Dos Rios: More than just a typical Mexican restaurant, Dos Rios offers tableside guacamole, homemade
corn tortillas, top-notch margaritas with house sour and
100 percent blue agave tequilas, chocolate and pumpkin inspired moles, fried plantains, fresh herbs, local
produce and free-range chicken, beef and pork. You
won’t be disappointed! 316 Court Ave., Des Moines.
282-2995. www.dosriosrestaurant.com.
Tasty Tacos: A family-owned Des Moines-based
Mexican restaurant serving family recipes for 50 years!
Most everything is made daily. Six convenient locations
throughout the Des Moines metro. 1418 E. Grand Ave.,
MONTERREY
& MAZATLAN
8801 University Ave. #29, Clive s 457-8900
9974 Swanson Blvd., Clive s 334-9693
6630 Mills Civic Pkwy., WDM s 224-5989
NEW WEST DES MOINES LOCATION!
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APRIL 2 - 8, 2015 s#)496)%7s 25
CityviewBites
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2900 Euclid Ave., 5847 S.E. 14th St., in Des Moines,
8549 Hickman Road, Urbandale, 2401 S.E. Delaware
Ave., in Ankeny, and 6326 Mills Civic Parkway in West
Des Moines. Go to www.tastytacos.com for more information or join them on Facebook.
Pizza
FAN
Orlondo’s: At Orlondo’s we make everything from
scratch, often utilizing fresh veggies from our onsite garden. We have daily lunch and dinner specials available,
along with pizza by the slice. Tuesdays are $11 large,
one-topping pizza. Also, try one of our delicious appetizer items. 4337 Park Ave., 244-3637.
RedRossa: A passion for flavor — RedRossa began
with a passion for fresh, flavorful and authentic Italian/
American dining. Offering affordable Italian and American cuisine, RedRossa’s signature recipes highlight the
finest ingredients, prepared in the tradition of old-world
Italy, in a comfortable and festive atmosphere. 12695
University Ave., Clive. 221-2529. www.redrossa.com.
Sam & Louie’s: Sam & Louie’s is a family owned,
casual, New York-style pizzeria and Italian restaurant.
Specializing in hand tossed pizza, pasta, burgers, chicken sandwiches, calzones, stromboli, salads, gluten free
options and more! They are experts in catering for all
types of corporate and family events. Party room available at no charge. 8561 Hickman Road, Urbandale in
the Cobblestone Market. 515.537.8361. samandlouiespizza.com.
Seafood
Splash Seafood Bar and Grill: Splash Seafood Bar
and Grill is a great place to enjoy fresh fish, oysters and
hand-cut steaks all in a fun and vibrant surrounding
right in downtown Des Moines. Visit our oyster bar for
some of the freshest original menu items or our famous
clam chowder. 303 Locust St., #100. 244-5686. www.
splash-seafood.com.
FAN
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dmcityview.com
10 off
%
entire meal
Meals starting at $6.99 exp. 4/30/15
Breakfast
9am-12pm Sat & Sun
304 5th Street
West Des Moines
515-274-0904
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Bites
Local dining guide
Call 953-4822
Small Plates
Trostel’s Dish: You’ll love the unique dining experience
at our restaurant. We offer small dishes with fresh flavor
from around the world and new seasonal selections every three months. Enjoy wine flights and cheese flights.
Private dining area for business meetings or intimate
gatherings. Bar opens at 4 p.m. Monday–Saturday. Dinner starts at 5 p.m. 12851 University Ave., Suite 400,
Clive. 221-DISH. www.dishtrostels.com.
Specialty Stores
Vom Fass: VOM FASS has earned the reputation as the
shopping destination of choice for your extra virgin olive oils, balsamic vinegars and nut oils. Also, check out
their amazing selection of single-malt Scotch and Irish
whiskies, brandies and fine liqueurs. Imagine the fun as
you taste your way through the shop! 833 42nd St., Des
Moines. 244-5020. www.vomfassdsm.com.
Steakhouse
Jethro’s ‘n Jake’s Smokehouse Steaks: Now in
Altoona. Still at Drake. No Australian or Texan spoken
here. These steaks are corn-fed, Iowa-raised, USDA
Choice meat, hickory smoked over a campfire and
For real.
broiled to perfection in our 1,600 degree Jethro’s ‘n
Jake’s fire machine. This seals in the juices and flavors.
All our steaks are seasoned with black pepper and salt
and finished with a touch of smoked garlic butter. Your
Altoona Neighborhood Sports Bar. 2601 Adventureland
Drive, Altoona. 957-9727. www.jethrosdesmoines.com.
John and Nick’s: After 30 years, John Jaeger left
his family business and opened John and Nick’s Steak
and Prime Rib in Clive. Enjoy his famous salad bar —
bigger and better with more than 60 fresh homemade
items, including homemade shrimp and crab salads,
a wide selection of olives and too many more to list.
The best part is the salad bar comes with your meal.
Enjoy hand-cut black angus, USDA choice steaks, aged
21 days for maximum taste and tenderness, including
Shot gun Blackened Rib-eye, New York strip, filet mignon, Steak De Burgo, and many others. Try the amazing selection of incredible seafood, such as Parmesan
crusted Mahi Mahi, Salmon Florentine, Yellow Fin Ahi
Tuna, Bacon Wrapped Scallops, and many others. The
offerings continue with chops, pasta and John’s house
specialty, Prime Rib, USDA choice ribeye slow roasted
and carved to order, plus many other tasty menu items.
The cozy atmosphere and delicious food will make your
dining experience unforgettable. 15970 Hickman Road,
Clive. 987-1151. www.johnandnicks.com.
Johnny’s Italian Steakhouse: Features steaks,
chops, seafood and Italian specialties. Enjoy the vintage cool atmosphere with the sounds of Frank, Dean
and Sammy Davis, Jr. as well as contemporary crooners
like Michael Buble and Harry Connick Jr. Enjoy classic
martinis, specialty cocktails or our extensive wine list at
the Blue Bar. Private dining, banquet and meeting space
make it perfect for any occasion. 6800 Fleur Drive, Des
Moines, 515-287-0848; Mills Civic Parkway, West Des
Moines 515-333-5665 and Bass Pro Drive, Altoona 515957-9600.
Prime Cut Grill: At the Prime Cut Grill, we serve
the best steaks available along with a full line of pasta,
seafood, sandwiches and cocktails, open Wednesday
through Sunday nightly. Some of our guests’ favorites
include hand cut boneless ribeye steak, bacon-wrapped
filet mignon, hand-breaded deep-fried jumbo shrimp,
pan-fried walleye fillet, traditional French onion soup,
and of course our slow-roasted prime rib, which is served
every Friday and Saturday night. After dinner don’t forget to stop by the lounge where we have live bands
every Friday and Saturday night with no cover charge.
Meskwaki Bingo and Casino, 1504 305th St., Tama.
(641) 484-2108. www.meskwaki.com.
Tapas
Stuffed Olive: The Stuffed Olive is all about the entire “Martini Experience.” From your favorite classics
to new and exciting blends you’ve never seen before,
you’re sure to find a cocktail to love on our vast martini menu. Add a warm, comfortable atmosphere, great
wines, beers and top-shelf spirits, and The Stuffed Olive
will become your favorite place to start, end or spend
your evening. Our tapas menu offers appetizer-sized
portions of globally influenced entrees, for a sampling
and sharing dining experience. 208 3rd St., Des Moines.
243-4456. CV
www.dmcityview.com/nightlifephotos
Your guide to... highlighted calendars, drink specials
and photos of people on the town.
Suckle Mama’s Punch at Babies ‘n’ Beers
T
he struggle of being
an adult is real:
you have kids,
but your friends want
you to go out and grab
a couple of drinks.
The problem is that the
babysitter is sick, and Mom
and Dad are out of town. So weekend after weekend, you have to tell your friends,
“Sorry, I can’t, I have the kids tonight.” Every Monday you get notifications of a silly
picture your friend posted on Facebook at
the bar or the guys going to that new place
down the street that just opened that you’ve
just been dying to try. You love your kids
and you always want to be with them, but
sometimes you just need a break. You can’t
always have the babysitter over because your
kids need you. But you can’t always get
stuck inside, either.
Never fear, overworked moms and soccer
dads, Scott Hamms and Steve Burley have
a solution to your sober-woes: Babies ’n’
Beers. This newly-opened bar in Windsor
Heights allows you to bring your children,
no matter the age, to the bar with you. Before you gasp, keep reading.
Upon entering the bar, you walk into a
hallway. Down to the right is the bar, and
down to the left is the BNB Lounge (the
KARAOKE
By Ashley Buckowing
Hours: Monday – Thursday: 10 a.m. – 2
a.m. Friday – Sunday: 6 a.m. – 3 a.m.
Happy Hour: Monday – Wednesday:
Half-price bar care, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.
Thursday: $3 for a cup of Mama’s Punch
all day. Friday: BOGO bar care; bring a
child, get a care free.
Families love to spend quality time together at Babies ‘n’ Beers.
child care center). You give the teller at the
door you and your children’s information,
and the teller then finds you a beer-sitter.
The beer-sitter connects with you and your
children and brings the toddlers to the BNB
Lounge. In the lounge are toys, movies and
everything that babies need to keep them
content while you’re in the “fun” end of the
building. Bring the older kids (ages 6-10)
in on Sunday so they can try the house beer
juice! Don’t worry; there is no alcohol in
these beverages. This mocktail is a special
6 NIGHTS A WEEK!
STARTING AT 9PM TUES-THU-SUN
STARTING AT 7PM WED, FRI & SAT
Double
Bubble!
DRINKS
ALL DAY ON MONDAY 3PM-CLOSE!
2 FOR 1
EVERY DAY 3-6PM
SUNDAY, TUESDAY-THURSDAY 11PM-1AM
JEANNIE’S
BOTTLE
3839 Merle Hay Road Ó 278.9797
that Babies ’n’ Beers makes for your kids so
they don’t feel left out when you have your
barley pop. They also have free kiddie cocktails and milk on Sunday.
While your child is safely in the care of
your beer-sitter, enjoy the bar’s specials. Signature drinks include: Diaper Surprise (a
blended drink that includes white chocolate,
Kahlua and heavy cream), Nursery Rhyme
Mule (a house rendition of a classic Moscow
Mule), the Twinkle Twinkle Martini (a mixture of citrus and lemon flavors, can be com-
pared to a lemon drop martini; garnished
with star fruit), The Cookie Monster (another blended cocktail that includes milk,
cookies and Rum Chata), and so many more
that you need to try. Stop in for $2 off all
beer on Saturday, but remember, you have
to drink it out of a sippy cup like good little
boys and girls. And definitely don’t forget to
try Mama’s Punch.
Have to go to the bathroom and you’re
afraid your friend will chug your beer while
you’re gone? Stay calm! Contact your beersitter, and he or she will simultaneously
watch your child and your beer so neither
are lost from your caring hands.
And when you finally decide to go home
at the end of the night, the bar provides you
transportation. The BNB iCar will transport
you safely to your house and your beer sitter will tuck your children into bed. After
that’s done, your sitter will even hold your
hair while you throw up in the toilet. CV
r
y
r
e
’s
D
Voted BEST
NORTHSIDE BAR
s Monday
$2.50 Domestic Bottles
$3 Domestic Tall Boys
$3 Shots of Fireball, Jager & Rumple Minze
s Tuesday
7ELL$RINKSsOFF,ONG)SLANDS
s Wednesday
2 for 1s from 9pm to 11pm
(calls, well, and bottles)
$3.50 Jack, Crown, Devils Cut, & Jameson
s Thursday
3PICE2UMs$OMESTIC4ALL"OYS
Check our Facebook for more daily specials!
2014
Drink
us on
Specials Find
Facebook
Daily [email protected]
Located back behind Day’s Inn
4845 Merle Hay Road, Suite B s Des Moines s 278-2810
Thursday, April 2
LYNN’S ON MERLE HAY
Lunch Special 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Hand Breaded
Tenderloin $6.75. Dinner Special 6-9 p.m.
12 oz. Iowa Chop$9.95. Happy Hour 3-6
p.m. 50¢ off drafts, mini and large pitchers
and wells. $3 Fireballs 6 p.m.-close. 6 p.m.close $2.50 Captains.
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPOt
TOAD’S TAVERN
Price-is-right happy hour 10 a.m. - 6 p.m.
Spin the wheel to drink for cheap! $2.50
any rum, 6 p.m.-2 a.m.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
TAPZ PUB
Buy one get ones 4-6 p.m. $5 Moscow
mules, $3 Three Olives, $4 bombs.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
THE DERRY’S LOUNGE
$3 spice rum, $3 domestic tall boys.
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
JOKER’S
Two-4-ones, $4 domestic bottles, $4 wells
and bombs.
$PVSU"WFttXXXKPLFSTETNDPN
sCITYVIEWs
APRIL FOOLS 2015
VOODOO LOUNGE
Happy hour 4-6 p.m. $2 off select tapas.
$2 off all martinis. $2 off select wine. $2
Fireball, beers, drinks 6 p.m. - 12 a.m.
5IJSE4UttXXXWPPEPPETNDPN
THE STUFFED OLIVE
$2 off all martinis. $2 off select wine. Half
price C-martinis 6 p.m. - close.
5IJSE4Ut
XXXUIFTUVòFEPMJWFDPN
Friday, April 3
BEER CAN ALLEY
BEER CAN ALLEY
JOKER’S
BEER CAN ALLEY
TOAD’S TAVERN
Price-is-right happy hour 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Spin the wheel to drink for cheap! $3
Fireball all day.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
Lunch special 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Grilled Steak
Sandwich $6.75. Dinner Special 6-9 p.m. ¼
lb. hamburger $2.50 add cheese for 40¢.
Happy Hour 3-6 p.m. 50¢ off drafts, mini
and large pitchers and wells. $3 Fireballs 6
p.m.-close. Lunch 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Dinner 6-9
p.m. 9 p.m.-close $4 select bombs.
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPOt
BEER CAN
BIRTHDAYS!
HAVING A BIRTHDAY
THIS WEEK?
RUSTLE UP 3
OF YOUR FRIENDS
AND YOU DRINK FOR
FREE!
DON T FORGET
LIVE THURSDAY
MUSIC! NIGHT
THURSDAY NIGHTS AT BCA
216 COURT AVENUE
$2.50 dom. bottles, $4 select bombs.
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
VOODOO LOUNGE
Happy hour 4-6 p.m. $2 off select tapas. $2
off all martinis. $2 off select wine. $3.50
Captains and Vodka Redbulls, $10 potions
6 p.m. - 12 a.m.
5IJSE4Ut
XXXWPPEPPETNDPN
TAPZ PUB
Buy one get ones 3 - 6 p.m. $3 Fireballs, $4
vodka Red Bulls.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
THE STUFFED OLIVE
off all martinis. $2 off select wine. $2 off F,
R and I martinis 6 p.m. - close.
5IJSE4Ut
JOKER’S
$1 domestic bottles 8-11:30 p.m., BOGO
bottle service (buy one get one free).
8-11:30 p.m., power hour $4 bombs, $4
fireball shots midnight - 1 a.m.
$PVSU"WFt
XXXKPLFSTETNDPN
JOKER’S
Industry night, $1 domestic bottles, $1
wells and $1 fireball shots 8 p.m. - close.
$PVSU"WFt
XXXKPLFSTETNDPN
TAPZ PUB
Buy one get ones 4-6 p.m. $2 domestic
draws, $3 captains, $3 jagermeister.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
TAPZ PUB
$12 buckets during games, $4 bombs, $3
tallboys.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
Monday, April 6
VOODOO LOUNGE
priced potions 6 p.m. - 12 a.m.
5IJSE4Ut
XXXWPPEPPETNDPN
VOODOO LOUNGE
off all martinis. $2 off select wine. $3 cider
beers, $3 Kinkys, $3 bombs 6 p.m. - 12 a.m.
5IJSE4UttXXXWPPEPPETNDPN
JOKER’S
All mixed drinks are served as doubles
8-11:30 p.m., POWER HOUR $4 bombs and
$4 fireball shots midnight - 1 a.m.
$PVSU"WFttXXXKPLFSTETNDPN
Double Cheeseburger $6.75. Happy Hour
3-6 p.m. 50¢ off drafts, mini and large
pitchers and wells. $3 Fireballs 6 p.m.close. Lunch 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Dinner 6-9 p.m.
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPOt
TOAD’S TAVERN
Spin the wheel to drink for cheap! SIN night:
late night happy hour from 10 p.m. - 2 a.m.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
$2.50 domestic bottles, $3 dom. tall boys,
$3 shots of Fireball, Jager, Rumple Minze.
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
THE STUFFED OLIVE
off all martinis. $2 off select wine. $2 off S,
A & T martinis 6 p.m. - close.
5IJSE4Ut
Sunday, April 5
Saturday, April 4
$10 domestic buckets during Iowa, ISU
and NFL games. 6-9 p.m. steak and shrimp
dinner your choice: 16 oz. top sirloin
$14.45, 8 oz. top sirloin plus four jumbo
shrimp $14.45, eight jumbo shrimp $14.45,
8 oz. top sirloin $8.95 *served with baked
potato and Texas toast. 9 p.m.-1 a.m. singa-long with Steve Hill and $3.50 calls.
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPO
TOAD’S TAVERN
5 minute happy hour every hour from 10
a.m.-2 a.m.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
$3 assorted Bacardi flavors, $3 shots of
Fireball, Jager and Rumple Minze.
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
$10 domestic buckets during all games
and Nascar races. Free munchies/
appetizers. Free pool
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPOt
THE STUFFED OLIVE
THE STUFFED OLIVE
TOAD’S TAVERN
TOAD’S TAVERN
JEANNIE’S BOTTLE
JEANNIE’S BOTTLE
TOAD’S TAVERN
All day happy hour. Free pool, 10 a.m. - close.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
TAPZ PUB
$12 buckets, $2 domestic draws, $2 wells,
$3 fireball.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
$2 PBR, Busch Heavy, Natural Light tall
boys, $3 domestic tall boys. Free pool.
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
All-day Happy Hour and FREE pool
EVERY SUNDAY!
8 HOUR HAPPY HOUR
MON-FRI 10AM-6PM
VOTED BEST
EASTSIDE BAR!
3002 State Avenue
30sCITYVIEWs
APRIL FOOLS 2015
THE STUFFED OLIVE
price martinis 6 p.m. - close.
5IJSE4Ut
TOAD’S TAVERN
Price-is-right happy hour 10 a.m. - 6 p.m.
Spin the wheel to drink for cheap! Mug
night: $5 for a mug then $2 refills all day.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
VOODOO LOUNGE
priced top shelf liquors 6 p.m. - 12 a.m.
5IJSE4Ut
XXXWPPEPPETNDPN
Tuesday, April 7
TAPZ PUB
Buy one get ones 4-6 p.m. $3 import
draws, $4 Guiness, $6 domestic pitchers.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
THE STUFFED OLIVE
price beers 6 p.m. - close.
5IJSE4Ut
Grilled Chicken Sandwich $6.75. Happy
Hour 3-6 p.m. 50¢ off drafts, mini and large
pitchers and wells. $3 Fireballs 6 p.m.close. Lunch 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Dinner 6-9 p.m.
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPOt
GAS LAMP
$2.50 well drinks, $1 off Long Islands
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
GAS LAMP
DERRY’S LOUNGE
Wednesday, April 8
Lunch Special 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Giant
Graziano Sausage Sandwich $6.75. Dinner
Special 6-9 p.m. Steak Night $14.45. Happy
Hour 3-6 p.m. 50¢ off drafts, mini and
large pitchers and wells. $3 Fireballs 6
p.m.-close.
/8UI$PVSUt+PIOTUPO
DERRY’S LOUNGE
THE STUFFED OLIVE
price wine 6 p.m.-close.
5IJSE4Ut
TOAD’S TAVERN
Spin the wheel to drink for cheap! $3 youcall-it on wells and calls, 6 p.m. - 2 a.m.
4UBUF"WFt
XXXUPBETUBWFSOOFU
TAPZ PUB
Buy one get ones 4-6 p.m. $3 Captains, $3
tallboys.
)JDLNBO3PBE$MJWFt
VOODOO LOUNGE
priced Moscow Mules with purchase of a
cup 6 p.m. - 12 a.m.
5IJSE4Ut
XXXWPPEPPETNDPN
2-for-1’s 9-11 p.m. (calls, well, bottles),
$3.50 Jack, Crown, Devils Cut, Jameson.
.FSMF)BZ3PBE4VJUF#t
sCITYVIEWs
APRIL FOOLS 2015
GAS LAMP
GAS LAMP
THE EXCHANGE
THE EXCHANGE
JOKER’S
JOKER’S
TheWeek
,IKE&ATHER,IKE3ONlLM
April 2 through April 8
All entries must be submitted by 7 a.m. on Monday.
Online at www.dmcityview.com/calendar, or email
entries to [email protected].
Thursday
2
ART & GALLERIES
s-AKING!RT0UBLICMaking Art Public explores the
beauty and history of public art in Iowa, 9 a.m. State
Historical Museum of Iowa.
s !DVENTURE !WAITS 4RAVEL THROUGH THE
#AMERA OF 6ICTORIA (ERRING Enjoy a scenic trip
through some of the world’s most beautiful places!
Monday - Friday, 11 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Polk County
Heritage Gallery.
s 7ALL OF )OWANS -USEUM %XHIBIT This new
interactive exhibit display uses a large projection to
show images and biographical information of nearly 30
Iowans – from Peggy Whitson and Meredith Willson to
Carrie Chapman Catt and Alexander Clark – who made
important contributions to our state, nation, world,
or respective fields of work. 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. State
s "ATTLE &LAG (ALL -USEUM %XHIBIT Explore the
stories behind more than a dozen battle flags from the
Museum’s collection, including national and regimental
flags from the Civil War (including a Confederate flag),
Spanish-American War and World War I. These battle
flags have been fully stabilized and preserved, and will
be on display through summer 2015, 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
State Historical Museum of Iowa.
s #HRIS 6ANCE PLUS 3CULPTURE %XHIBIT One of
the region’s most prolific artists returns for his annual
exhibit with new works that are reminiscent of his past
while hinting at a future style and new direction. A back
gallery installation focused on sculpture will accompany
the exhibit. 10 a.m. - 4 p.m., Moberg Gallery.
%6%.4
s "EGINNER "RIDGE ,ESSONS Whether you are a
beginner or returning to bridge, it’s a perfect place to
start. Learn the basics of bidding, play and defense. Join
the fun at these weekly classes. $40 for an eight-week
course (plus bonus lesson); or $5 per week as a refresher
course. Course book price = $15. Contact instructor
Mike Smith, 515-991-3193, 6 p.m. Greater Des Moines
Bridge Center.
&!)4(0(),/3/0(9
s 4HE #OMMON 4HREAD Discussions pertaining to
Spiritual/Metaphysical studies, 10:30 a.m. 414 31st St.
in basement of Unity Church.
s ,AST3UPPER$RAMA Living depiction of Leonardo
da Vinci’s painting of The Last Supper, in which Jesus
announces that one of his disciples will betray Him. The
disciples talk about their roles and ask, “Is it I?” 7-8:30
p.m. West Des Moines United Methodist Church.
s $INNER #HURCH As did the earliest Christians,
participants will gather around the tables for fellowship,
worship and a simple meal as the family of God. Call
the church office as soon as possible so the church can
accommodate all. 6-7 p.m. Faith Lutheran Church, Clive.
&//$7).%
s 4OUR 4ASTING The price is $20 per person and
includes: Cellar Wine Tour, Tasting of Summerset Wines,
Cheese Platter, Summerset Logo Wine Glass to take
home, 3 p.m., Summerset Winery.
(%!,4(3500/24'2/503
s /PIATE 3UPPORT 'ROUP FOR 7OMEN Call 633-
7968 or 274-3904 for questions and to RSVP. 7 p.m.
Friends House Conference Room. 4211 Grand Ave.
4HURSDAY!PRIL
$RAKE5NIVERSITYWILLBEHOSTINGTHE*APANESElLMh,IKE&ATHER,IKE3ONvSUBTITLEDIN
%NGLISHPM$RAKE5NIVERSITY
BOOKS/AUTHOR
s -EET THE !UTHOR +ARMEN "UCHANAN 7-8
KARAOKE
p.m., Beaverdale Books.
s4HURSDAY.IGHT+ARAOKE 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s on
#(),$2%.&!-),9
s)CESKATINGOur warm and safe synthetic ice surface
called “Super Glide” is easy for beginner skaters, 1 p.m.
The Ice Ridge.
East Court. 419 East Court Ave. Des Moines.
s +ARAOKE 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. Beaver Tap. 4041
Urbandale Ave. Des Moines.
s +ARAOKE!T4HE#AMELOT 7-10 p.m. Family hour
from 7-8 p.m. The Talent Factory. 1114 6th St. Nevada.
#/.#%243,)6%-53)#
,%#452%7/2+3(/0
s 4HE 3OUL 3EARCHERS Blues, no cover, 9 p.m., The
s "USINESS,AUNCH Class runs 12 sessions, meeting
Greenwood Lounge.
s$AN4RILK Live acoustic music, 8 p.m. - 12 a.m., Bar
Louie.
s 7ELCOME TO THE $OPE 3HOW Performances
by: RCA Recording Artist (Sicko Mobb), Chicago’s only
rapper with his own drum line (NoTryDo Sincere), Also
Features: Des Moines’ Top Indie Hip Hop Artist, Des
Moines Top Beat Maker CYPHER, MC chyper with the
Kaotic Drum Line, 7 p.m. Vaudeville Mews.
every Tuesday and Thursday evening for six weeks, $350,
6 p.m. ISED Ventures Women’s Business Center.
THEATRE AND COMEDY
s /PEN -IC The Last Laugh Comedy Theater’s open
mic night for aspiring comics. Admission is free. 8-10
p.m. The Last Laugh Comedy Theater. 1701 25th St. West
Des Moines.
Friday
3
ART & GALLERIES
MISCELLANEOUS
s ,IKE &ATHER ,IKE 3ON &ILM As part of the
International Film Series, Drake University will be hosting
the Japanese film “Like Father, Like Son” subtitled in
English. 7-9 p.m., Drake University.
For real.
s #HRIS 6ANCE 3CULPTURE %XHIBIT One of the
region’s most prolific artists returns for his annual
CITYVIEWs!02), s
BOOKS/AUTHOR
s-EETTHE!UTHOR-ICHAEL+AUFFMANMichael
W. Kauffman, one of the foremost Lincoln assassination
authorities, takes familiar history to a deeper level,
offering an unprecedented, authoritative account of the
Lincoln murder conspiracy. 4:30-6:30 p.m., Beaverdale
Books.
#(),$2%.&!-),9
The Ice Ridge.
#/.#%243,)6%-53)#
s&INAL-IX3HOW"ANDCome Party with the Hottest
Antonio Vivaldi’s THE FOUR SEASONS
ARTSAMPLER FUN+FREE
SUNDAY, APRIL 12 1 – 4 PM
Show Band in town! 9 p.m., The Brewhouse No. 25.
s &IRESIDE-USICWITH&EDERAL#HEESE 7-10 p.m.
Hotel Pattee.
s *EFFREY 3COTT "AND Jazz, 8 p.m. - 12 a.m. Finish
Line Show Lounge.
s #OURTNEY +RAUSE Singer/songwriter with uplifting
rhythm, soul, and sultry vocals. The shows are interactive,
revolving around bringing people together to celebrate
the great city of Des Moines. 6-8 p.m. Firetrucker Brewery.
s3TEVEN0ELLOW&RIENDS9:30 p.m. Star Bar.
s"OB0ACE4HE$ANGEROUS"ANDWorld Famous
Work Release Party with guitar-driven blues, R&B, funk
and classic rock. Always a Blast! 4:30-7:30 p.m., Gas
Lamp.
s-ICHAEL(OPEAcoustic Guitar and Vocals, 9:30 p.m.
Star Bar.
s #HARLSON 4RIO WITH 3COTT 3MITH 7-10 p.m.
Chuck’s Restaurant.
s 4HE4IGHTEN5P2EDUX Des Moines’ freshest and
funkiest rhythm section, an all-star line up of the area’s
finest musicians, including Jesse Villalobos, Rob Ankum,
David Altemeier and Michael Woods. 9-11:45 p.m., Extra
Innings.
s (EATH !LAN "AND Blues, no cover, 9 p.m., The
Greenwood Lounge.
&!)4(0(),/3/0(9
s'OOD&RIDAYWORSHIPFaith will present the Way of
the Cross in music and scripture with hands-on elements
for our youngest worshipers. 6-7 p.m. Faith Lutheran
Church, Clive.
KARAOKE
Families are invited to attend a fun-filled afternoon of art, dance,
music, and science at the Art Center. Enjoy multidisciplinary activities,
demonstrations, student performances, and museum experiences.
Light refreshments will be available.
A collaboration between
Des Moines Art Center,
Des Moines Danzarts Studio,
Des Moines Symphony Academy,
and Science Center of Iowa.
Des Moines DanzArts Studio
s&RIDAY.IGHT+ARAOKE9 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s on East
Court. 419 East Court Ave. Des Moines.
s &IREBALL&RIDAY+ARAOKE 9-11:45 p.m. Overboard
Sports Bar. 1101 Army Post Road.
s+ARAOKE9:30 p.m. - 1 a.m. Striker’s Sports Bar. 655
N.E. 56th St. Pleasant Hill.
s +ARAOKE Weekly karaoke challenges with prizes to
be won. 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Okoboji Grill Ankeny. 2010 S.E.
Delaware. Ankeny.
s+ARAOKEWITH,IVE-USIC6IDEOS9 p.m. - 1 a.m.
Mickey’s Irish Pub Waukee. 50 S.E. Laurel St. Waukee.
,%#452%7/2+3(/0
:KHUHGDQFHLVDQDUWIRUPQRWDFRPSHWLWLRQ
This event recognizes the generosity of the Meier Bernstein Foundation for making this opportunity available for our students and the community.
entirelyunexpecteddesmoinesartcenter.org
s %NRIQUES *OURNEY !MERICAS #HILDREN
)MMIGRATION$ILEMMAFree public lecture by Pulitzer
Prize-winning journalist and author Sonia Nazario.
Class discussion in Spanish about her book La travesía
de Enrique. 12:30-1:30 p.m., Meredith Hall 101, Drake
University.
MEDIA SUPPORT PROVIDED BY
FREE ADMISSION IS SUPPORTED BY PRINCIPAL
FINANCIAL GROUP AND ART CENTER MEMBERS
MISCELLANEOUS
s/PEN-IC+ARAOKE.IGHTOpen Mic Poetry Night.
sCITYVIEWs!02),
For real.
Come enjoy original poetry and other performances by
local poets, artists and musicians. 6-8 p.m. Java Joes
DART Bus Station. 620 Cherry St. Des Moines.
s 3TAMMTISCH $ES -OINES 'ERMAN #LUB
4REFFENBEI(ESSEN(AUS6-9 p.m. Hessen Haus.
.)'(4,)&%
s-IXOLOGY.IGHT3CIENCEOF,IGHT Mix. Mingle.
Music. Science. 21- plus. $5 admission. 5:30-9 p.m.
Science Center of Iowa. 401 W. Martin Luther King Jr.
Parkway. Des Moines.
30/243
s 87 3PRING 3HOWDOWN The Justice Corps
of Iowa will be making a special appearance and you
can get photos with your favorite superheroes! We also
encourage everyone to dress as your favorite superhero
or wear superhero shirts and join in on the fun! Tickets:
VIP - Row 1 and 2 (kids or adult) $15 advance tickets or
$18 at the door; adult general admission $12 advance
tickets or $15 at the door; kids general admission 10
and younger $6 or kids 3 and younger FREE Admission.
7:30 p.m., Kum & Go Theater.
THEATRE AND COMEDY
s4HE,AST,AUGH-AINSTAGE3HOW We perform
games like those seen on TV’s “Whose Line Is It,
Anyway?” getting the audience in on the action by
using their suggestions and even getting them up on
stage, 7:30-9 p.m./9:30-11 p.m. The Last Laugh Comedy
Theater.
s #OMEDY 80ERIMENT 0RESENTS 4HE $ANCE OF
3PRING The Dance of Spring features the local cast
presenting a fan-favorite mix of short-form and longform improvisation. Actors will book-end a thirty to forty
minute improvised “play” based on a few suggestions
from the audience with a barrage of high-energy and
stylized short games. 7:30-9 p.m. Stoner Theatre.
Saturday
4
downtown/Court Avenue area to enjoy specials from
local establishments, all in support of homeless pets!
Registration is $10 in advance and $15 the day of the
event. Grab your bunny costume, invite your bunny
friends and join us starting at noon at The Stuffed Olive!
Must be 21 or older, 12-5 p.m. The Stuffed Olive.
ART & GALLERIES
BOOKS/AUTHOR
s-EETTHE!UTHOR$EBRA&RANKLIN
s Debra Closner Franklin has been an Addiction
the region’s most prolific artists, returns for his annual
"%.%&)4#(!2)49&5.$2!)3%2
s "UNNY (OP We will be hopping around the
Counselor for more than 30 years. During this time
she has assisted hundreds to overcome their addiction
problems. 2-4 p.m., Beaverdale Books.
#(),$2%.&!-),9
s-USEUM4REK!#LOSER,OOKATTHE%XHIBITS
11 a.m. to noon. Get interesting facts and a closer look
at artifacts on display with a museum guide. Free for
visitors of all ages. State Historical Museum of Iowa. 600
E. Locust St. Des Moines.
The Ice Ridge.
s &AMILY %ASTER 0ARTY Fun for the entire family
including: toy hunts, preschool Bunnyland, live animals,
horse and wagon rides, traditional games, and free
refreshments. Selected townsfolk will open their doors
for spring visitors in the town of Walnut Hill. Get a
discount when you buy tickets in advance, 9 a.m. - noon
Living History Farms.
s %ASTER %GG (UNT Bring your family to an Easter
Egg hunt in Pleasant Hill, hosted by the Pleasant Hill
Fire Department and Pleasant Hill Parks and Rec. The
event is for children ages 3-12. 10 a.m., Doanes Park,
Pleasant Hill.
#/.#%243,)6%-53)#
s4HE0APA0ROFlTT"ANDRock, 9 p.m., Boggs’ Hull
Ave Tavern.
s&INAL-IX3HOW"AND9 p.m., Crossroads Tavern,
Kelly.
s-IKE!CETO9 p.m. Ruby’s Pub.
s *OEL $ANGEROUS "AND Rock & Roll, 9 p.m.,
Mickey’s Irish Pub, Waukee.
s -AX7ELLMAN"AND Jazz, 8 p.m. - 12 a.m. Finish
Line Show Lounge.
s "*OHN"URNS 7-9 p.m. Friedrich’s World Coffees.
4632 N.W. 86th Street
3TOKKA 4RIO Acoustic/vocals, 7-10 p.m. Chuck’s
Restaurant.
s -ICHAEL (OPE Acoustic Guitar and Vocals, 9-11
p.m. Saints Pub & Grill - Jordan Creek.
s3AM3ALOMONE(IS*AZZ$ISCIPLES&EATURING
*ESSE 6ILLALOBOS Sam Salomone, Hammond B-3
Organ; Rob Ankum, guitar; Michael Woods, drums;
Jesse Villalobos, vocals/keys. No cover charge. Tips for
musicians are highly encouraged. 9-11:45 p.m., The
Continental.
s4HE(IGH#REST8-11 p.m. Trostel’s Dish.
s !LL4HINGS+ING&EST Crunchiest three-piece, ‘90s
cover band, 9 p.m. Bourbon St.
s *EFF "ANKS "AND Rock, no cover, 9 p.m., The
Greenwood Lounge.
&!)4(0(),/3/0(9
s 7ORSHIP The theme of this Saturday’s service of
prayer and song will be “Preparing for Easter Sunday”.
5-6 p.m. Faith Lutheran Church, Clive.
(%!,4(3500/24'2/503
s
$"3!
$EPRESSION"IPOLAR
3UPPORT
“We’ve been there, we can help.” Contact Debbie at
Have an event coming up?
Let our readers
know about it!
Look for our new
Summer catalog
in Cityview
April 17!
Language,
and so much more!
Call
242-8521
www.dmced.org
www.dmcityview.com
For real.
CITYVIEWs!02), s
[email protected] for more info. 2 p.m. Lutheran
Hospital. Penn & University Level B Private Dining Room.
KARAOKE
s3ATURDAY.IGHT+ARAOKE 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s on
s #OFFEE+ARAOKE We will play any clean song you
can find on Youtube.com. 7-9 p.m. Java Joes DART Bus
Station. 620 Cherry St. Des Moines.
s*-+ARAOKE9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. Fazio’s University
Tap.
,%#452%7/2+3(/0
s#IVIL7AR2OUNDTABLETH!NNIVERSARY'ALA
Free. A keynote lecture, afternoon seminars and live Civil
War music and a book fair. Participation in a social hour
and banquet requires pre-registration and costs $35/
person. 1 p.m. Iowa Historical Museum.
-EETTHE!UTHOR-ICHAEL+AUFFMAN
MISCELLANEOUS
s )OWA $ANCE 4HEATER 0RESENTS -ELANGE A
#(),$2%.&!-),9
unique blend of dancers, teachers, choreographers and
art enthusiasts who combine their talents to produce
high-quality artistic dance productions. Tickets: Adults
$15, kids 12 and younger $10. 2-4 p.m. Hoyt Sherman
Place.
OUTDOORS
s'EOCACHING%ASTER%GG(UNTCome join Warren
County Conservation and learn how to find them with
a GPS (global positioning system) unit! There will be
an easy egg hunt and a more challenging one! All ages
are welcome! Please register by Wednesday, April 1.
You may register at www.warrenccb.org/egghunt or by
calling (515) 961-6169, 10-11:30 a.m. Annett Nature
Center.
30/243
s)OWA%NERGY"ASKETBALLVS-AINE7 p.m. Wells
Fargo Arena.
THEATRE AND COMEDY
The Ice Ridge.
#/.#%243,)6%-53)#
s3UNDAY4UNES3-6 p.m. Summerset Winery.
s4HE4IGHTEN5P2EDUXW$*3KYPUKE"UNNY
Des Moines’ freshest and funkiest rhythm section, an
all-start line up of the area’s finest musicians, including
Jesse Villalobos, Rob Ankum, David Altemeier and
Michael Woods. 9-11:45 p.m., The Lift.
&!)4(0(),/3/0(9
s"IBLE3TUDY#LASSES7ORSHIP3ERVICESAll ages.
Nursery provided. 9:30/10:45 p.m. New Life Center.
1057 23rd St. Des Moines.
s &ESTIVAL 7ORSHIP Easter Festival Worship, 10:3011:30 a.m. Faith Lutheran Church, Clive.
s &ESTIVAL 7ORSHIP Easter Festival Worship, 8:159:15 a.m. Faith Lutheran will also serve Easter breakfast
from 7:15-10:30 a.m. Faith Lutheran Church, Clive.
s 4HE ,AST ,AUGH -AINSTAGE 3HOW The Last
Laugh Comedy Theater’s signature show. We perform
stage, 7:30-9 p.m./9:30-11 p.m. The Last Laugh Comedy
Theater.
s #OMEDY 80ERIMENT 0RESENTS 4HE $ANCE OF
3PRING The Dance of Spring features the local cast
presenting a fan-favorite mix of short-form and longform improvisation. Actors will book-end a thirty to forty
minute improvised “play” based on a few suggestions
from the audience with a barrage of high-energy and
stylized short games. 7:30-9 p.m. Stoner Theatre.
s)MPROV#OMEDYWITH4RABAJOS$E-ANOSAND
#HOWDOWN We will take audience suggestions and
use monologues to inspire improvised comedy scenes
that will dare you not to laugh. 7-9 p.m., 4th Street
Theater.
Sunday
5
ART & GALLERIES
sCITYVIEWs!02),
(%!,4(3500/24'2/503
&RIDAY!PRIL
PM
"EAVERDALE"OOKS
s!DULT#HILDRENOF!LCOHOLICS!#!-EETING
Free. Anonymous meeting. 11:15 a.m. Central
Presbyterian Church. 38th Street and Grand Avenue Second Floor
KARAOKE
s 3UNDAY .IGHT +ARAOKE 7 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s on
s#USTOMER!PPRECIATION+ARAOKE9 p.m.- 1 a.m.
AJ’s on East Court. 419 East Court Ave. Des Moines.
s 0ARTY 0ARTY 4HE 5LTIMATE +ARAOKE "AND
9:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. Hessen Haus. 101 4th St. Des Moines.
MISCELLANEOUS
s/PEN(OUSE2-4 p.m. Urbandale Historical Society.
Monday
6
ART & GALLERIES
the exhibit. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Moberg Gallery.
BOOKS/AUTHOR
The Ice Ridge.
COMMUNITY
s&REE#OMMUNITY-EALFor families and individuals
of all ages. 5:30-7 p.m. New Life Center. 1031 23rd St.
Des Moines.
#/.#%243,)6%-53)#
s*AZZINA&UNKY0LACE Jazz, no cover, 8:30 p.m.,
The Greenwood Lounge.
KARAOKE
s-ONDAY.IGHT+ARAOKE 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s on
s4HE0ANTS/FF3ING/FF9 p.m. Whiskey Dixx. 215
4th St. Des Moines.
,%#452%7/2+3(/0
s@(ANDBAGSTHROUGHTHE9EARSPRESENTEDBY
"ETH(AIGH7 p.m. Urbandale Historical Society.
s $-!## #ELEBRATION OF THE ,ITERARY !RTS
Rebecca Hazelton, Bret Anthony Johnston, Rebecca
Makkai and Roger Reeves, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Beaverdale
Books.
Tuesday
7
#(),$2%.&!-),9
ART & GALLERIES
For real.
the region’s most prolific artists returns for his annual
4HE(IGH#REST
#(),$2%.&!-),9
The Ice Ridge.
COMMUNITY
s&REE#OMMUNITY-EALFor families and individuals
of all ages. 5:30-7 p.m. New Life Center. 1031 23rd St.
Des Moines.
&!)4(0(),/3/0(9
s 4EEN 9OUTH 'ROUP !CTIVITIES!LL !GES
#LASSES Nursery provided. 6:30 p.m. New Life Center.
1057 23rd St. Des Moines.
(%!,4(3500/24'2/503
s %! 0EER 3ESSIONS FOR 0ERSONAL )NVENTORIES
3UPPORT Contact Duane at 243-1742 or
[email protected] for more info. Skywalk
accessible. 1 p.m. 7th and Walnut. 1st Floor, Suite 131.
Des Moines.
s %MOTIONS !NONYMOUS Des Moines Emotions
Anonymous Chapter, EA fellowship of weekly meetings in
a warm and friendly environment. Emotions Anonymous
is a Step 12 program of recovery for emotional issues
and maintaining emotional health. 12:15-1:15 p.m. Java
Joes. 214 4th St. Des Moines.
3ATURDAY!PRIL
PM
4ROSTELS$ISH
KARAOKE
s #HRIS 6ANCE 3CULPTURE %XHIBIT One of the
region’s most prolific artists, returns for his annual
#(),$2%.&!-),9
The Ice Ridge.
Finish Line Show Lounge.
s 4HE2EEFERSEED%XPRESS Rock, no cover, 9 p.m.,
The Greenwood Lounge.
(%!,4(3500/24'2/503
s.!-)Support group for persons coping with mental
health conditions. Peer oriented. 2 p.m. Plymouth
Church. 42nd and Ingersoll, Burling Room. Des Moines.
s %MOTIONS !NONYMOUS Des Moines Emotions
Anonymous Chapter, EA fellowship of weekly meetings in
a warm and friendly environment. Emotions Anonymous
is a Step 12 program of recovery for emotional issues
and maintaining emotional health. 12:15-1:15 p.m. Java
Joes. 214 4th St. Des Moines.
KARAOKE
s4UESDAY.IGHT+ARAOKE 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s on
s &LAVAPRODUCTIONS$*2OD Karaoke and dancing.
8 p.m. - midnight. Yo Yo’s Bar and Grill. 2400 East Dean
Ave. Des Moines.
s +ARAOKE Weekly karaoke challenges with prizes to
be won. 8-11 p.m. Benchwarmers. 705 S. Ankeny Blvd.
Ankeny.
s +ARAOKE 7 p.m.- 1:45 a.m. RockStar Bar and Grill.
2301 S.W. 9th St. Des Moines.
,%#452%7/2+3(/0
#/.#%243,)6%-53)#
s-APLE3TREET*AZZ Big band/jazz, 11 a.m.-3 p.m.
s "USINESS,AUNCH Class runs 12 sessions, meeting
every Tuesday and Thursday evening for six weeks, $350,
6 p.m. ISED Ventures Women’s Business Center.
s 4HE%VOLUTIONOF0ARKINSONS$ISEASE Join us
as Ludwig Gutmann, UI clinical professor of neurology,
discusses the many complex features of this illness,
including impairment of motor abilities, compulsive
shopping and gambling, and memory loss, 6-7:30 p.m.
John and Mary Pappajohn Education Center.
s#ITIZENSHIP4HE3OLUTIONTO'LOBAL7ARMING
Learn how to become an effective advocate on climate
issues from Citizens’ Climate Lobby founder and
president, Marshall Saunders. Introduced by Mayor
Cownie. Free. 6:30-7:30 p.m. Franklin Avenue Library.
s7EDNESDAY.IGHT+ARAOKE 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. AJ’s
on East Court. 419 East Court Ave. Des Moines.
s &LAVAPRODUCTIONS$*2OD Karaoke and dancing.
9 p.m. - 1 a.m. Down Under Bar and Grill. 8350 Hickman
Road. Clive.
s+ARAOKE9:30 p.m. - 1 a.m. Striker’s Sports Bar. 655
N.E. 56th St. Pleasant Hill.
s 0ARTY 0ARTY 4HE 5LTIMATE +ARAOKE "AND
9:30 p.m. - 2 a.m. The Keg Stand. 3530 Westown
Parkway. West Des Moines.
s*-+ARAOKE7-11:30 p.m. Fazio’s University Tap.
.)'(4,)&%
Wednesday
8
s4RIVIA.ITEGame starts at 9 p.m. every Wednesday.
The Blazing Saddle. 416 E 5th St. Des Moines.
s ,IVE4EAM4RIVIA Round-by-round prizes. 7-9 p.m.
Mickey Finn’s. 7020 Douglas Ave. Urbandale.
ART & GALLERIES
THEATRE AND COMEDY
s )MPROV 3HOW Performers create instant comedy
For real.
with games like those seen on TV’s “Whose Line Is It,
Anyway?” Audience interaction and hilarity ensues.
Different show every night guaranteed. Free. 8 p.m. The
Last Laugh Comedy Theater. 1701 25th St. West Des
Moines.
s 4HE,AST,AUGH-AINSTAGE3HOW We perform
stage. Every Wednesday is free. Friday and Saturday $14,
8-9:30 p.m. The Last Laugh Comedy Theater. #6
CITYVIEWs!02), s
PERSONALS
MEET LOCAL SINGLES Browse & Reply FREE! Straight 515-226-1100 Gay/
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