The Danger of Unforgiveness

The Danger of Unforgiveness
Week of January 12, 2014
Matthew 18:21-35
Leader, as a rule, answering the questions in “engage it” should take no more than 10
minutes and are designed to generate conversation around the sermon’s main themes.
1. What would you do to celebrate if all your debts were cancelled?
2. Why is extending forgiveness difficult?
Leader, “unpack it” questions help provide an understanding of what happened in the
passage and a deeper analysis of certain themes in it, oftentimes, bringing in
additional passages for comparison or support.
Read Matthew 18:21-35
3. In Jesus day, the rabbis (Jewish teachers) taught that it was only necessary to forgive
one’s enemies up to three times. What does this say about Peter’s question in Matthew
18:21?1
Peter most likely thought that he was extremely generous by offering his “above and beyond”
suggestion of seven. You can almost imagine Peter trying to impress Jesus with his
question/proposition.
4. Read Genesis 4:23-24 and the surrounding context. What does the phrase “seventysevenfold” mean? With this understanding, what, in essence, is Jesus saying in
Matthew 18:22?
In Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, Lois Tverberg and Ann Spangler suggest that Jesus is alluding to
Genesis 4:24 in his reply to Peter that one is to forgive “seventy-seven times.” In Genesis, Lamech
highlights the severity of his revenge against the person who wounded him by saying that his revenge
is “seventy-sevenfold” compared to Cain’s “sevenfold.” Jesus takes this figure and says that his
disciples are to love and forgive proportionately to Lamech’s revenge. Tverberg and Spangler write,
“Once you catch Jesus’ reference, you understand the contrast he is making. He is saying that his
followers should be as eager to forgive as Lamech was to take vengeance.”2
5.
In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:23-35):
a. Who does the “king/master” symbolize?
b. Who do the servants symbolize?
c. What does the money owed by the wicked, unmerciful servant to the king
symbolize?
d. What does the money owed by another servant to the unmerciful servant
symbolize?

The king/master symbolizes God the Father.
1
MacArthur, John. The MacArthur Bible Commentary. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005. p. 1158.
2
Spanger, Ann and Lois Tverberg. Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2009. p. 38-39.
2

The servants symbolize sinful mankind.

The money owed by the wicked servant is symbolic of his sin debt. The amount of 10,000
talents was an amount he could never repay by his own means. The massive debt could never
be repaid, only forgiven.

The very small amount (100 denarii) owed is symbolic of a personal offense/sin against the
unmerciful servant by the other servant.
Because this parable is answering Peter’s question, we know that the debt symbolizes sin. The
unmerciful servant owed the master “ten thousand talents” (verse 24), which is equivalent to
billions of dollars in today’s currency.3 Sin creates a debt that is owed to God. The king is fully
aware of the fact that the debt could not be repaid no matter how much time or work was offered.
The servant may have thought he could repay, but the King’s reaction to the servant’s plea tells us
that the debt was hopelessly insurmountable.
6. When the fellow servants saw what had happened they were greatly distressed or
sorry. What can be said about the importance of grieving over the sinful actions we
observe in each other’s lives?
Grieved is “a strong word for sorry. [It means] excessively grieved, violently grieved. They are very
distressed and this is a beautiful thing when Christians become concerned about another Christian's
sin. They are violently, excessively grieved about this, because there's a lack of response to the law of
God and the will of God and the way of God that's disrupting the fellowship. And what do they do?
"This group in their sorrow came and told unto their lord all that was done."” 4
7. What is the consequence for the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:33-35)? What do you
think the consequence represents on an eternal, spiritual level?

The king ordered the unmerciful servant to jail where he would be tortured until he paid back
the debt. Because the debt is the equivalent of billions of dollars, this, in all likelihood, was a
life sentence.
3
Hagner, Donald A. Word Biblical Commentary: Matthew 14-28. Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 1998. p. 538.
4
MacArthur, John. “Learning to Forgive, Part 3.” Grace to you. 6, March 1983. Web. 5 Jan 2014.

This consequence appears to be symbolic of eternal damnation when there is no forgiveness of
sin and a person takes the full punishment of hell which is eternal suffering.
8. Summarize the main action and the big takeaway of the parable Jesus tells.
The servant did not seem to truly grasp the extent of his master’s forgiveness. He owed the master
“ten thousand talents” (verse 24), the equivalent of billions of dollars in today’s currency.5 Notice
how in light of the master’s punishment the servant pleads with his master promising repayment. But
there would be no possible way of repaying such a great debt. The master graciously cancels the
servant’s debt and lets him and his family go (verse 27).
In the latter half of the parable, the servant seeks out a “fellow servant,” chokes him and demands
that he repay the measly hundred denarii, an amount 600,000 times less than he owed his master. 6
When word reaches the master, he confronts the unmerciful servant; calling him “wicked,” he has
him thrown in prison. Clearly the servant did not learn forgiveness from his master. He did not have
a proper understanding of or response to his master’s gracious forgiveness.
9. Read Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 23:34, Romans 5:8 and Colossians 3:12-13. What do we
learn about forgiveness from these passages?

Matthew 6:14-15; This clearly states that the Father will not forgive our sins unless we forgive
those who have sinned against us.

Luke 23:34; Jesus asks the Father to forgive those who are carrying out His brutal crucifixion.
His plea for forgiveness is even more extraordinary because He is suffering this punishment for
sin He never committed.

Romans 5:8; Tells us that Jesus died for our sins while we were still sinners; we were
undeserving.

Colossians 3:13; As chosen and beloved children of the King, we are told to forgive any
grievance we have with another. It goes on to say that we are to forgive like the Lord forgave
us. He forgave us of all our sins.
5
Hagner, Donald A. Word Biblical Commentary: Matthew 14-28. Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 1998. p. 538.
6
Hagner, Donald A. Word Biblical Commentary: Matthew 14-28. Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 1998. p. 539.
4
10. Jesus ends the parable saying that you must forgive “from your heart.” What does this
mean?
Jesus does not haphazardly choose tangible money to illustrate forgiveness and unforgiveness. The
nature of a monetary debt nicely highlights what it means to forgive from the heart. As Donald
Hagner says, ‘“from your hearts,’ means in all sincerity, not just in word or appearance.” 7 To
forgive from the heart then means to not expect any type of repayment. When speaking about
monetary debt, there is little room for only a nominal display of forgiveness, one either pardon’s the
debt or exacts payment. Forgiveness, for whatever the offense must be sincere, genuine and
complete.
11. Is forgiveness dependent upon whether or not one asks for forgiveness? How can
Matthew 5:43-44 help in answering this question?
No. When Jesus speaks about loving enemies, this implies that we need to extend love even to one
who opposes us. There should be no stipulations to our forgiveness.
12. What are some reasons why Christians struggle with forgiving other believers?

Hard heartedness. We easily forget the massive sin debt we were forgiven and the incredible
gift of eternal life we don’t deserve.

We may think that another believer should be above such “sinful” behavior.

We don’t feel the offender is worthy of forgiveness.

Pride. We feel we are better, more mature, and more spiritual than someone who sins against
us.

We rationalize that the offender should only receive forgiveness if he/she jumps through
enough hoops.
7
Hagner, Donald A. Word Biblical Commentary: Matthew 14-28. Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 1998. p. 540.
13. Read Matthew 18:34. The king turned the unmerciful servant over to torturers, not
executioners. How can God’s severe disciplining of you for unforgiveness affect you
and those around you?
Answers will vary but John MacArthur says, “This pictures severe discipline, not final
condemnation.”8
14. Is simple obedience to Christ command to “forgive seventy-seven times” enough
motivation to do it? Why or why not? What else might motivate you to forgive?
Answers will vary.
Leader, “live it” are generally designed for individual application after small group
time; though, some may be appropriate for group discussion, if desired.
15. Is there any harbored bitterness or unforgiveness in your life today? How can you
extend love and forgiveness to those who have sinned against you?
16. Memorize and reflect on Colossians 3:12-13. Spend time in prayer asking the Lord to
give you the strength to live a life of repentance and forgiveness.
8
MacArthur, John. The MacArthur Bible Commentary. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005. p. 1159.
6