Spray of the Falls, February 2013

Volume XXIII Nos. 2, 3, & 4
And Volume XXIV No 1
February 23, 2013
About The Spray of the Falls and the LHS
The Spray of the Falls, the Official Journal of the Living History Society of
Minnesota, Inc,. is authorized to be published whenever the editors
feels like it, and of indeterminate length. Most issues contain some
bit of “advertising”, past event write-ups, a feature article or series, a
review of some kind, and The Whispers Upon the Waters. Submissions
should be sent to [email protected] for review and will be included at the
discretion of the editor. All submissions will be edited for length and
readability. All sources should be fully credited and documented in items
submitted for consideration. Items for The Whispers should be sent to
[email protected]
The mission of the LHS is to educate the public, and ourselves, as to
the lifestyles of mid-nineteenth century Americans through the accurate
portrayal of all walks of civilian life. The main focus for Society activities
centers on the final days of territorial government and Minnesota’s early
statehood up to the end of the US Civil War (roughly 1855 to 1865).
General Information
The Living History Society of Minnesota, Inc.
C/O St. Paul Lodge #3 / 1898 Iglehart Ave / St. Paul, MN 55104-3524
http://www.lhsmn.org Information from [email protected]
Webmaster: [email protected]
Grapevine: [email protected] (Moderated public announcements)
Drawing Room: [email protected] (Internal discussions)
Officers
Chairman and President: Mr. Kit Cusick, Esq., [email protected]
Vice President: Mr. Jeremy Larsen, Esq., [email protected]
Treasurer: Mrs. Maj. Lynn Lucking, [email protected]
Secretary: Mrs. Beth Sandeberg, [email protected]
Entire Board at once: [email protected]
Other Key Contacts
Booking Agent: [email protected]
Dance Master: [email protected]
Grapevine Manager: [email protected]
Lending Wardrobe: [email protected]
Minnesota & Pacific Railroad Company: [email protected]
Sewing Bees: [email protected]
In This Issue
Welcome Messages ....................................1
Classified ..................................................3
Features ....................................................4
Event Write-ups ........................................8
Reviews ................................................... 13
The Whispers Upon the Waters................ 14
Entertainments ....................................... 16
Welcome Messages
About this Issue
By Mrs. H. S. Kåserende and
Herr Klatch Gerüchte
It appears that the previous lengthy
Catch Up—as opposed to Ketchup, or
the supremely ridiculous Catsup—
Issue of the Spray of the Falls made
something of a splash. We hope that
by the time you see this one, you have
managed to read the entirety of the
previous issue—more than The
Whispers upon the Waters, anyway.
It had some great contributions in it.
As does this issue, which is even
longer and is another Catch Up issue.
When judged against the longtime
folded magazine standard, this is not
just a Double, or even a Triple, but a
Quadruple Issue, hence the reflection
in the Masthead. Yes, you’re getting
your money’s worth now.
We hope you, dear reader would not expect this with every issue, but it feels good to get the
first two behind us.
We plan future issues more in line with our longer-term goal, to present something useful in
shorter bursts. Allow us to take a moment to explain what happened here, however. The
original plan was to follow-up the previous Catch Up issue nearly immediately with a
Standard Issue. Then some bits of life got in the way, there were technical difficulties at Steely
Eyed Missile Man (how freakishly ironic is that?) and soon Christmas Day 2012 became the
target release date. That would have been good, as it would allow Major Lucking to contribute
his annual Event Write Up about Dancing with Seventh Graders at the Anoka Middle School
for the Arts, there was a Holiday Party planned, which should have led to a plethora of
Whispers submissions, &c. That date came and went, as did the end of the year, the last of
the bunching of Corporate Holidays, Ground Hog Day, Valentine’s Day, and suddenly Winter
Weekend—IS TODAY! Holy Aspic on a Cracker, we have to get this Rag on the Streets so as to
enhance the Spirit and Ambiance of the Grand Ball. See all y’all next issue. In the meantime,
enjoy this one. We had a blast putting it together. (That’s a lie. They don’t all appear in the
Whispers.)
A Message from the President
After the notice of the retirement of The Spray of the Falls at the [October]
Member's meeting was announced, I received a[n] email with an offer that I couldn't refuse.
An offer of new Editors of The Spray of the Falls!
Their rules of engagement were simple:



It will be in a different format than before;
It will be published on their time table; and
They will get paid twice the salary of the previous editors ($0.00 paid bi-weekly).
After crunching the numbers against the budget with the Treasurer [now that’s got to be funniest
line in the entire issue, Ed.], I decided that I could agree to those terms providing:



I could see a sample of their work;
They understood that no taxes would be withheld from their paychecks; and
Most importantly, that they make themselves publicly known, so that all would know
them
I am very pleased to announce that LHS is now the proud owner of a new team of editors for
The Spray of the Falls.
Let me introduce you to Mrs. H. S. Kåserende and Herr Klatch Gerüchte our newest members
and the editors of your newspaper!
[We would like to emphasis the “your newspaper” portion of this. It will be impossible to keep
up with any type of regular publication without content. Please contribute early and often.
Seriously, we’re literally begging you. Even a paragraph or two related to something you did,
something you saw, something you wondered about… For example, two days ago I was
making my regular morning commute to work in a pretty good snowfall. The journey was
slow. I wondered if my commute time was more like it would have been in 1861, you know,
before the speed of the Mighty Rails cut travel times so significantly for the Citizens of
nucleus of what would eventually become known as The Greater Metropolitan Statistical Area
of Minneapolis and Saint Paul. In my wondering, I realized that even with this slow trek
across the snowpack I was still covering the distance in a little less than half the time it would
have taken in good weather in our day. And I was in a vehicle with heat sufficient enough so
as to allow me to remove my hat and mittens and unzip my coat, and the car has a radio
capable of pulling in news, or music of nearly any variety, and when I arrived at my
destination, all I had to do was park and chirp it locked—I didn’t have to spend an hour
tending the horses… And I thought that the commute wasn’t so bad as it could have been,
and with a bit more thought and a bit of newspaper research I might have an idea for a few
paragraphs on getting to work in 1861—again, before the Railroad made Common Life so
much better for our Citizenry. OK, I’m so done sucking up to the Railroad. Time to do
something with it again, Boys. Ed.]
Winter Weekend is Coming HERE!
After last night’s experience with the Grand Panorama of the Pilgrimage up the St. Peter
(Minnesota) River via Packet Boat, the editors cannot wait to see what the organizers have in
store for the Grand Ball.
As most of you already know, or better already know—especially if you’re planning to be in
attendance, in which case seeing it here is going to be far too late for you—the format is a bit
different. The clock strikes midnight at 6:00 p.m. Central Standard Time, at which time
Dinner will be served. The Morning of Tripping the Light Fantastic Toe until Dawn
commences a couple of hours later, and the Dance Masters have a Full Four Hours to
Unleash their Dastardly Plans. As the previous Dance Mistress noted, “You can get in a lot
more dances that way.” This caused Major Lucking to practically Glow with anticipation “The
card could have over 30 dances on it, easy. We’ve never done seven Schottisches in an
evening before—Ha! Let’s do them all in a row! Call it the ‘Schottische Set of Death’.”
Honestly, if last night’s entertainments, with multiple “encore” calls in the dramatically
revised Panorama production, hours of Whistful diversions, Pick ‘Em Up Stix, and Mrs.
Sandeberg’s wicked combinations of “the worst shot ever” and “skillfully played” on the board
are any indication, then the Grand Ball will be (is now) more fun than the proverbial Barrel of
Monkeys. Eureka!
Features
The Latest LHS Dance Craze
Contributed by Maj. And Mrs. Lucking, former Dance Master/Mistress of the LHS
At the recently completed LHS Lyceum Barn Dance, all in formation (well, those who paid
attention, anyway, President Cusick) learned a new quadrille. Getting to that point is a story
of discovery, perseverance, adaptation, talent, and a bit of luck.
About two weeks prior to the Lyceum, Mrs. Maj. Lucking discovered a piece of video on You
Tube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOo38GBNA68). While not proven to be a truly
period dance, it certainly could be. There are no steps in that aren’t found in other dances of,
or prior to, our period. Mrs. L. watched the video a number of times in order to transcribe it
into a set of directions. You’ll find revised directions below. She tracked down and contacted
Dr. John “Buzz” Jones and asked about the music. He returned regrets that he was traveling
out of the country and would be unable to assist in the endeavor of securing any music.
Enter Mrs. Hennessy. Using the quadrille counts, she located music used at the Lincoln
Inaugural Ball for a quadrille that was somewhat close—except that it was longer, and
movements four and five were in three-four time as opposed to four-four. Mrs. Hennessy
transcribed the music two days before the dance, and the first time the rest of The Camptown
Ladies saw any of it was the night we gathered in the barn. And they played it perfectly. In the
meantime, Mrs. Lucking added filler to make the counts match new music.
Before getting into the steps themselves, please note that unlike our quadrille staples—the
Lancers and French—this quadrille features multiple trade-offs in steps between head
(couples 1 & 2) and side (couples 3 & 4) couples within each movement. Lastly, it is very easy
to adapt this quadrille to a six-couple set (with two side couples per side).
The Lincoln Quadrille
Adopted to different music by Mrs. Maj. Lucking from the original performance by The Victorian
Dance Ensemble, using the “President’s Ball” movement of the “For the People” oratorio by John
William Jones
Movement One
Bow and courtesy to your partner (8)
Bow and courtesy to your corner (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Right, left across (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Right, left across (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Right, left back (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Right, left back (8)
All Forward and back to corners, turn corner to place (16)
Movement Two
Bow and courtesy to your partner (8)
Bow and courtesy to your corner (8)
Gents forward and back (8)
Ladies forward and back (8)
Ladies right hand star, gents half round (8)
Ladies left hand star, gents half round (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Ladies chain across (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Ladies chain across (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Ladies chain back (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Ladies chain back (8)
All Forward and back to corners, turn corner to place (16)
Movement Three
Bow and courtesy to your partner (8)
Bow and courtesy to your corner (8)
All join hands, move in, then out (8)
Circle left all (8) (walking step, not chassez)
All join hands, move in, then out (8)
Circle right all (8)
Couples 1 and 2—across set (gents pass in middle), turn to place (8)
Couples 3 and 4—across set (gents pass in middle), turn to place (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Right, left back to home (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Right, left back to home (8)
Movement four
Ladies in the center facing out; gents on the outside facing in
4 chassez to right, meet opposite, join hands and turn to opposite place (8)
(Ladies are now on the outside, gents on the inside – positions are reversed after each
movement)
4 chassez to left, meet partner, join hands and turn to opposite place (8)
4 chassez to right, meet opposite, join hands and turn to opposite place (8)
4 chassez to left, meet partner, join hands and turn to home (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Cross over (drawers) (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Cross back (drawers) (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Cross over (drawers) (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Cross back (drawers) (8)
All Forward and back to corners, turn corner to place (16)
Movement Five
Grand chain (pause and bow when you meet your partner) (16)
Grand chain home (16)
Couples 1 and 2—Right hand star (8)
Couples 1 and 2—Left hand star (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Right hand star (8)
Couples 3 and 4—Left hand star (8)
All Forward and back to corners, turn corner to place (16)
Concerning Bill’s Blue Dishes
Submitted by Maj. Jos. Lucking
As I understand it, on sometime very shortly before—maybe even the morning of—the
Member’s Appreciation Event, Mr. Cusick found a box of several dishes. He had no
recollection of having had this box previously. He did not recognize the contents. Yet, clearly,
there was only one possible source for this curious collection: Mr. William Kepler. They
appeared to be some kind of commemorative dishware of celebrating some event or
anniversary of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. Yet how could they be? The date stamps on
the back came from a variety of locations and years in the mid 1970’s.
The quest begins: Concerning the Blue China, the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad Company,
Dining Car Department. Yes, that’s correct, the Dining Car Department. In order to celebrate
their 100-year anniversary, in 1927, the B&O railroad started making special dishware for
use in its dining cars. Today it is known by collectors as “Centenary china”, but the B&O
never called it anything but “The Blue China” for the entire 50+ years they continued to have
it made and used it on their dining cars.
During that time the B&O sold this dishware to the public—except during the Second World
War, when rationing limited the Railroad’s supply, and all pieces were required for dining car
service. The below is a price list from 1933. Today the prices go up the older the piece. I’ve
found dinner plates dating back to the 1930’s running as much as $69 each on e-Bay. The
stuff that Mr. Cusick found, dating only from the 1970’s is worth much less: Dinner plates for
$7.00, for example. Replacements.com (http://www.replacements.com/webquote/RARBAOH.htm) has
a fairly decent collection, but prices can reach nearly $200 for a single piece.
Because the pieces were created for so long, the original designs changed, along with their
makers. For example, there were eleven different teapots created by such manufacturers as
Buffalo, Scammell's Lamberton, Shenango, Interpace, Syracuse, and Sterling.
Upon investigation, all of the pieces of Bill’s are Interpace (Shenango) dated either 1977 or
1978. Interpace produced this sesquicentennial celebration china in those two years only
under the Shenango name. The Shenango China name and assets were acquired from
Interpace by Syracuse China in 1988, whereupon the plant in New Castle, PA—site of
manufacture for these runs—was closed. The author also finds it fascinating that the sale of
the china to the public was so popular that its production outlasted passenger service on the
railroad.
Original copies of an eight-page publication entitled Concerning the Blue China, which the
Railroad’s Dining Car Department updated from time to time, dating to the mid-1930’s can be
found as a “buy it now” on e-Bay for $10. The text of several editions is available from links
surfaced via both of the market-leading search engines du jour (google.com and bing.com).
It’s interesting to note that even in the 1930’s, the B&O used entertaining spelling variations
and long-ish sentences throughout. The opening sentence serves as an example: “In 1827,
when the idea of transportation by rail was born, when a small group of enterprising business
men adopted this method of bringing the trade of the rapidly growing West to the city of
Baltimore, when the first charter ever drawn up for a public carrier of passengers and freight
by rail was granted to the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, these momentous events were
commemorated by Enoch Wood, of Burslem, England, one of the leading manufacturers of
Staffordshire china, in two beautiful blue plates stamped on the reverse –‘The Baltimore and
Ohio Rail Road.’”
Perhaps a future Spray can feature the entire text, but it’s later than our period.
Bakers-Large
Bakers-Small
Bakers-Medium
.70
.60
.65
Pitcher-2 Qt
Pitcher-12 Oz
Plates-Dinner
2.65
1.35
1.00
Butter Chips
.20 Plates-Tea
Celery Troughs
2.35 Plates-Soup
Chocolate Pots
2.00 Plates-Bread and Butter
Compartment Plate
3.00 Platters-Extra large
Comport
3.15 Platters-Large
Cups-After Dinner
.70 Platters-Medium
Cups-Bouillon
.80 Platters-Small
Cups-Coffee
.80 Saucers-After Dinner
Gravy Boats
1.40 Saucers-Coffee
Ice Cream Shells
.65 Sauce Dishes
Oatmeal Bowls-Large
.65 Tea Pots
Oatmeal Bowls-Small
.70
Now the only question which remains is “Why did Bill Kepler own so little of this
dishware?”
.75
1.00
.60
3.45
3.15
1.70
1.10
.30
.50
.45
2.25
special
Sources:
http://railroadiana.org/china/pgChina_CentenaryTwo.php
http://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/1927-o-pamphlet-concerning-blue-china167485900
http://www.borail.org/
http://www.replacements.com/
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Baltimore-Ohio-Railroad-The-Blue-China-Dining-CarDepartment-Booklet-RR-Plates/261125015831?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3ccc438917
http://www.amazon.com/Concerning-China-Baltimore-Railroad-Company/dp/B003VZYCZ0
Event Write Ups
Pennies Move On
The following sentence is presented courtesy of Major Lucking upon his passing forward the
Founders’ Award at the October 2012 Member Appreciation Event.
The properties of my pesky pondering pertaining to the perpetuation of presentation of the
prestigious peripatetic pennies award is thusly produced and propagated:
Whereas this award is also known as the Founders’ Award and has, at its root, the general
guideline that a recipient is to hold the award only for a period of approximately three
months; and
Whereas, I am completely remiss in my responsibilities to select a new recipient in that
particular timeframe; and
Whereas, this event—being all about member appreciation—presents the very best forum for
advancing the award—and its incalculable prestige, a veritable halo glow surrounding the
owner, and burdensome responsibilities, those of living up to the demands of being the
Chosen One, for however short a period of time, and that of being on point for forwarding the
award along to the Next recipient—I therefore elect today as the day of its passing on; and
Whereas there are a great multitude of members deserving of public recognition and thanks
for a variety of self-sacrifices since the time at which the award was presented to me; which is
one reason for not holding onto this trophy for longer than its allotted time in your hands, as
it is simply easier to select an isolated incident of appreciation and pass the sucker along;
and
Whereas, not least amongst these deserving members are current and immediate past
members of the Board of Directors, each of whom goes above and beyond in various
capacities of selfless generosity, yet in keeping with the spirit of this particular event, in the
form of member—that is, grunt—appreciation, the award shall—for the temporary time
being—pass over members of the Board without any malice or intended future such
prejudices; and
Whereas, there are likewise a number of long-established members—some of whom have held
the honor of holding this award before, and others who have not—who have tirelessly planned
events (sometimes under trying circumstances and with little to no appreciation on their own,
so it is particularly painful for me to pass over some of these as well, and I can only pray and
cling to the belief that eventually these good deeds will be rewarded and duly recognized,
either here in this Kingdom, or in the next), or taken on new responsibilities, or simply
continued on with long-established ones, or in several cases have been pulled into other
service events based solely on their association with the LHS and the—sometimes minimal—
qualifications of being able to perform at least a portion of the anticipated tasks of the loosely
coupled event or opportunity; and
Whereas we as an organization are also blessed with the return to active duty of long absent,
or what we might term “fringe” members, and likewise cursed by other members who will
soon be absent—and sorely missed, I might add—which also hastens to make this selection
all the more difficult; and
Whereas, there are also a number of new-to-newish members of the organization who have
come in ready to hit the railroad tracks running, in a certain manner of speaking, in terms of
their clothing, interest in a variety of activities such as Dancing and Dining;
All of whom are undoubtedly and unquestionable worthy of recognition;
Howsoever, there is one person who has come into our midst with a passion for “getting it
right”, who has, along the way, provided employment or other support for other members
willing and able to provide services or materials toward those ends; and
This individual has also, in a manner similar to Mike
Chyrklund duct-taping his hat to his head so as to
avoid having it slip below his ears at Fort Snelling’s
Civil War Weekend (back in the day), endured his
share of physical discomforts for the sake of the
hobby (and, yes, I realize that we ALL have done that
as well), and
Thought for the Day from the
September 2012 issue of British
Heritage:
Living history museums bring the
past to life by holding time in aspic.
Mrs. Maj. Lucking asks: “What does
that make us?”
Furthermore, this individual has forced himself out
of a shell of comfort and into the public foray by not
only showing up, in new threads, but by engaging members of the general populous in
manners and forms heretofore unimaginable and unfathomable to him a mere few months
ago;
Therefore, I offer forth this award to this outstanding individual without further delay or any
extemporaneous expounding upon the reasons for this selection;
Except to offer this caveat to all listeners, and hearers, and potential future readers, of this
work and these words;
That is not under any circumstance necessary for this recipient to endeavor to concoct more
than a few words of presentation to the next recipient in line—the recipient of his choosing,
which I do encourage to be a mite quicker than I managed—and so, without further delay, I
call forward Lawrence, with all my appreciation, gratitude, and humble thanks.
Major Lucking, Sans Drawers, Gets
Rise from Fashion Talks
Submitted by Major Lucking
December 14th found a great contingent of
LHSers bound for Anoka Middle School for
the Arts for the umpteenth consecutive
year for a full day of dance demonstration,
fashion discussion, and shepherding of
Seventh Graders. My deep gratitude to the
following:

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


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The Clan Pestel—Aviana elicited
“oohs” from 50 girls at a time upon
each entry;
Mrs. Dosh;
Miss Weinhold—and Mrs. Maki for
supplying wardrobe items;
Mrs. Thornton;
Miss Connolly—extra credit for LHS for having a silk ballgown in presence;
Mr. Geraghty; and
Mr. Larsen-demerits for shoes, sir.

This year we did things slightly
differently. First we lined the
students up across the gym
floor in a series of rows instead
of around the perimeter.
Secondly, we presented the
classes in five parts: men’s
fashion; group dance
demonstrations; women’s
fashions; couple’s dance
demonstration; and all-class
dance participation. Both of
these changes worked well, as
they led to better eye contact
with the students, and the
ability to line up for the Grand March more quickly.
The quality of the observations and questions related to clothing and the dancing were,
overall, quite good this year, though one young lady made the observation that the dresses
were constructed of such volume for the purpose of keeping men away. Major Lucking’s new
way of presenting “every article of clothing I have on” followed by the query “did I miss
anything?” nearly always (five out of six classes) lead someone to mention the “missing”
unmentionable. It also helped a greater percentage of the students “get it” on their own,
without the need to whisper it down the line.
Classes started at 8:20 a.m. and we finished our day about 2:50 p.m. We also had a full hour
break midday for lunch, which this year featured more “healthy choices”, and roasted chicken
over the carved turkey of previous years. That, and the fact that students did check-in with
their teachers in the classroom before heading to the gym, meant we had about 35 to 40
minutes per class to present all the material. A fairly tall order, to be sure. Class sized ranged
from a low of about 60 for the final session of the day to a high of around 130 for the second
and third hours.
The photos accompanying this article were taken by the Anoka Middle School’s Event
Photographer and show three ladies relaxing before the fashion presentation and part of our
assemblage (and one unidentified student) starting to get set for the Grand March CHE.
[Extra Credit for the first one to e-mail the correct deciphering of that particular TLA—three
letter acronym—to [email protected]. Ed.]
In 2013 we will need at least an equal number of volunteers on one of the final two Fridays
before Christmas—actual date to be determined sometime in March.
And—if you needed a reminder of how we fit into the curriculum of the school for the week—
the following is an excerpt from A Christmas Carol dealing with the Fezziwig Ball as provided
by Miss Connolly. As the students have just read this Dickens work, we fulfill our mission of
public education by augmenting the book with some added practical instruction.
'Hilli-ho!' cried old Fezziwig, skipping down from the high desk with
wonderful agility. 'Clear away, my lads, and let's have lots of room here!
Hilli-ho, Dick! Chirrup, Ebenezer!'
Clear away! There was nothing they wouldn't have cleared away, or
couldn't have cleared away, with old Fezziwig looking on. It was done in a
minute. Every movable was packed off, as if it were dismissed from
public life for evermore; the floor was swept and watered, the lamps were
trimmed, fuel was heaped upon the fire; and the warehouse was as snug,
and warm, and dry, and bright a ball-room as you would desire to see
upon a winter's night.
In came a fiddler with a music-book, and went up to the lofty desk, and
made an orchestra of it, and tuned like fifty stomach-aches. In came Mrs.
Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile. In came the three Miss Fezziwigs,
beaming and lovable. In came the six young followers whose hearts they
broke. In came all the young men and women employed in the business.
In came the housemaid, with her cousin the baker. In came the cook
with her brother's particular friend the milkman. In came the boy from
over the way, who was suspected of not having board enough from his
master; trying to hide himself behind the girl from next door but one,
who was proved to have had her ears pulled by her mistress. In they all
came, one after another; some shyly, some boldly, some gracefully, some
awkwardly, some pushing, some pulling; in they all came, any how and
every how. Away they all went, twenty couple at once; hands half round
and back again the other way; down the middle and up again; round and
round in various stages of affectionate grouping; old top couple always
turning up in the wrong place; new top couple starting off again as soon
as they got there; all top couples at last, and not a bottom one to help
them! When this result was brought about, old Fezziwig, clapping his
hands to stop the dance, cried out, 'Well done!' and the fiddler plunged
his hot face into a pot of porter, especially provided for that purpose.
But, scorning rest upon his reappearance, he instantly began again,
though there were no dancers yet, as if the other fiddler had been carried
home, exhausted, on a shutter, and he were a bran-new man resolved to
beat him out of sight, or perish.
There were more dances, and there were forfeits, and more dances, and
there was cake, and there was negus, and there was a great piece of Cold
Roast, and there was a great piece of Cold Boiled, and there were
mincepies, and plenty of beer. But the great effect of the evening came
after the Roast and Boiled, when the fiddler (an artful dog, mind! The
sort of man who knew his business better than you or I could have told it
him !) struck up ' Sir Roger de Coverley.' Then old Fezziwig stood out to
dance with Mrs. Fezziwig. Top couple, too; with a good stiff piece of work
cut out for them; three or four and twenty pair of partners; people who
were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of
walking.
Reviews
Hell on Wheels1
Submitted by Major Lucking
Season two of AMC TV’s Hell on Wheels ended in October after ten episodes. This is the
dramatization of the building of the first transcontinental railroad from the Union Pacific side
of the continent. Now, one might think that not too much dramatization would be required to
relay this story: After all, the real Hell On Wheels, a town of anywhere from two-to-four
thousand men that followed the building of the line across Nebraska, and into the Rocky
Mountains beyond, would provide sufficient material on its own. In reality, it featured a
murder a day, ten-mile construction days where fortunes were made, prostitution income of
ten times what a man earned, integration of former Union and Confederate soldiers into
single work crews with one shared goal, hostilities with the Sioux (Dakota) and the Cheyenne
once the Road went past Columbus, Nebraska, and Doc Durant and his infamous financing
schemes under the Credit Móbiler.
Hell On Wheels, the real town, constructed mostly of canvas tents with some portable wooden
buildings, could be completely packed, moved and unpacked in a single day, as the End of
Track moved. This happened with great frequency. Not so in the dramatization. The town has
stayed put this entire season. The town is also far too small. They get the filth factor close
much of the time—at least for the men.
For the first episode or two of season one I really thought we might see something that stuck
to something akin to historical fact, with the fictitious storylines of Cullen Bohannon (Anson
Mount) and Lilly Bell (Dominique McElligott) thrown in for some Deadwood-like plot and
interest. In support of this were early conversations about the importance of the surveyor’s
maps; Thomas “Doc” Durant (Colm Meaney) following a serpentine route across the prairie so
as to maximize the number of ten-mile segments completed, and thereby maximizing the
federal government’s cash payouts to the UP; and the patent manipulation of press coverage,
the books, and the payroll. Yet, from the beginning there were signs that this wasn’t going to
be a primarily historic account.
First, General Grenville Dodge, the UP Chief Engineer and likely the most influential
individual in getting the railroad built, isn’t even mentioned, let alone having a major
character presence—as he should. Second, well, the clothing is pretty typical Hollywood stuff,
but that nearly goes without saying. Though, I do have to say that instead of getting better in
this regard it has gotten far worse, especially the stuff they put Mrs. Bell into—or should I say
let her run around in? Uff Da. Third, Nebraska doesn’t look much like the landscape used for
production. Fourth, let’s talk locomotives and rolling stock. Well, OK, let’s not; except to say
that I’m pretty sure the UP had more than two locomotives and six boxcars. Fifth,
anachronistic language, the lack of certain formalities in business relations, and the excess
space the working men are afforded. Sixth, there is simply no way that Mr. Bohannon could
afford all the whisky he drinks (it was 50¢ a shot and he takes on entire bottles at a time).
Seventh, well, are you getting the idea yet?
You really cannot watch this show expecting historical accuracy or to learn things from the
pages of history. I also cannot help but notice that the only 2012 Primetime Emmy®
nomination the show received was for its theme music (http://www.emmys.com/sites/emmys.com/files/
EmmyNoms64-Press-Release-6.pdf)—and that it didn’t win. But if you’re willing to set aside, and see
past, the more annoying aspects, and realize that it’s really a prime-time soap opera fixed in a
Western setting with a built-in excuse for (very mild) sex and (often excessive and disturbing)
violence, it can be a mildly entertaining way to spend a portion of your Sunday night.
In this article the author presents several Railroad related items as fact. All of
them are drawn from either direct reading of, or mathematical extrapolations of
material in, the book Nothing Like it In the World: The Men Who Build the
Transcontinental Railroad by Stephen E. Ambrose, ISBN 0-684-84609-8. The
author previously reviewed this work for The Spray of the Falls.
1
The Whispers Upon the Waters
Oh, thank goodness! The LHS is back to only one Major. But not because Major Lucking did
the honorable thing; rather because Major Murray is now Colonel Murray. Congratulations on
your promotion, sir. Not only that, the Colonel is on a quick pace to be appointed General.
Wouldn’t that be something? A General, right here amongst the lowly. It’s enough to put a
smile on everyone’s face. [This submission is rather old, and the Editors have not had a
chance to confer with the Colonel, so you may already be seeing him in General Attire at
Winter Weekend.] After nearly three-hours of award giving and story-telling at the Member
Appreciation Event, there was so much smiling and laughter that attendees’ cheeks hurt. And
so much sitting that attendees’ cheeks hurt. Props must go to Miss Korsmo, Seattle-bound as
she is, for some very creative and thoughtful awards and certificates. As we hear it, one of the
hits of the evening was her “letter of recommendation” for Mr. Larsen, suitable for a position
of Under Butler or Chauffer. One of the lines proclaimed that he is not prone to public
drunkenness. For some reason there were murmurs around the room that sounded
suspiciously like “Pipestone”. It seems that whenever Pipestone is mentioned, there are
missed Whispers items. Perhaps it is best to leave those to the oral history of the LHS,
though, as the more we hear, the more we don’t want to know. But we DO want to know what
is happening in the Dosh household. First, Elsa. Recently graduated from the University of
Minnesota, she is now employed in software development for the Big G on their expansive
headquarters campus at I-394 and Highway 169. She has also spent some considerable time
in Norway since graduating, and is now looking for her own domicile. Charlie is on the cusp of
completing his six-year commitment to active duty with the US Coast Guard and is looking
forward to three things: 1) finding a civilian job; 2) selling or renting his Duluth home; and 3)
getting married. Yes, he and Emily—a newly minted Chemical Engineer out of the University
of Minnesota—will wed next fall. Meanwhile, Mark approaches high school graduation next
spring and has college applications pending, including West Point. Mrs. Pestel continues to
have a lot to learn about being the “most mentioned” in this spread, as the family makes more
progress towards spending a significant portion of their lives in Peru over the coming years.
However, she continues to do her best with behaviors worthy of note, not the least of which
was all the snorting and chortling—seriously, this was milk out the nose type laughter—at
Mrs. Lucking’s expense at the Friday Night Entertainments of Winter Weekend 2013 [we told
you we were on deadline here!]. As the story goes, a group of Ladies stood in the Library with
punch cups in hand discussing birthdays, of all things. One would think, first of all, that
Ladies would know better than to even broach such subjects in public, lest their greatest
secrets be revealed. Mrs. Lucking commented that it was not so difficult for her to calculate
her age correctly for any given year, as she was born in a year ending in a zero, so
remembering the decade and using the current year’s last digit would get her close enough,
much easier math than someone born, say in a year ending in an eight. Mrs. Pestel
immediately jumped upon the situation in an effort to offer Mrs. Lucking a compliment, which
clearly backfired, saying “You look remarkably good for someone born in 1950”. This is
precisely why Ladies should not discuss such things in public. [Wait a minute! Now you know
that’s not what Mrs. Pestel meant, and it’s probably close to slander to slant this exchange
this way. I know, but it’s fun. Dueling Eds.] As noted elsewhere herein, but worthy of note in
the Whispers as well, Mr. Larsen must learn not to gather his period attire in the dark, as he
did in preparation for his Day of Dancing at the Anoka Middle School for the Arts. Yes, he
remembered every article of clothing this time, even shoes. They were two different shoes from
two different pairs of shoes, but he had shoes. Technically. He had two left shoes from two
different pairs of shoes. Perhaps it is suboptimal for an individual doing a dance
demonstration to do so with two left feet on. Miss Connolly endeavored to self-report
something (isn’t that sweet of her?) from her trip to Georgia(?) related to underpinnings.
Regrettably, this submission never made it to Herr Klatch, as that was during a time when
the Steely Eyed Missile Man accounts were under vicious attack by agents of a foreign
government, and it never arrived intact. So, we would like to call upon her—and all others
who do not see something they submitted appearing herein to re-submit, as if you don’t see
it, we didn’t get it. We do so wish we could write about things Lodge Related in terms of Mr.
Cusick. Suffice it to say his immersion into the sacred mysteries within our favorite Event
Venue have lead him to positions of leadership far beyond those he thought possible at the
start of his journey. “Way to go, Idaho.” [Oh, Aspic, now we’re going to have the Disney/Pixar
Lawyers crawling all over us like pissants on spilled olive oil. Nice going, Mrs. Kåserende.]
How about some Lyceum Stuff? Oh, why, oh why does no one write this aspic down? [Have
you picked up on the fact that we’re using Major Lucking’s word substitution of “aspic” for
“cra—er, something else”?] Surely someone has something pithy to say about the conversion
of the Grassy Expanse into Kitchen Stadium, where Iron Chef Cusick [stop it with the
lawsuit-invitations, will you? Did you learn nothing in Journalism School? I didn’t go to
Journalism School. Oh, me neither. We’re in a heap o’ trouble here, aren’t we? Yes.] and an
army of minions sliced, diced, chopped, washed (sort of), mixed, folded, blended, and
otherwise combined Vast Quantities [now you’re wanting the Coneheads to get us too? Those
guys played hockey for crying out loud!] into a variety of delights for the evening’s dance and
other meals. But what we really want to know are the juicy tidbits that kept everyone
laughing and entertained. And we close on a few serious notes. First, we wish Mr. Cusick,
and anyone else searching for work these days, all the very best of luck. Our hearts are with
you in that difficult and often humbling task. Second, we continue to wish the Sandebergs
recovery from their respective surgeries. Mr. S’s injury is nearly a year old, and he appears
steady enough on his feet these days, but a full night of dancing may be more than he’s ready
for. Thirdly, our prayers follow Mrs. Lucking daily as she completes her round of intensive
radiation treatment and continues to recover from surgery (hence her appearance in morning
household attire at an evening public event; special dispensation granted, dear). And, finally,
congratulations to Major Lucking: On Sunday January 13th, the third anniversary of the
passing of Mr. Kepler, the Major received his Commissioning as a Verger in the parish of St.
Clement’s Memorial Episcopal Church. While he is still undergoing his Liturgical Studies, he
is official, and following in at least a few of the footsteps of the late, great, Mr. Kepler, whom
we all still miss very much. “I only hope I can do honor to his memory with this gift of service
to the Ministries of Hospitality, Organization, Documentation, and Security”, the Major stated
to members of his congregation. Get it on, Major.
Entertainments
Name That Event!
Tundra by Chad Carpenter
Name that Railroad!
F-Minus by Tony Carrillo
—30—
[Hey, I thought you said you never went to J-School. Bing search of the day, my friend. Until
Next time, remember that 50 pairs of eyes and ears are watching and listening to everything
you do and say. They just aren’t submitting it to the Whispers like they should be.]
[This issue contains many trademarked, saying marked, copyrighted, and otherwise protected
material. Much of it is even used by permission. Where failure to acknowledge, or follow due
process, has fallen by the wayside, we beg forgiveness, and sincerely hope that everyone will
just have a good time, and not sue anyone. Legal actions directed against The Spray of the
Falls won’t get you anything anyway, unless we decide to countersue the Idaho Falls
newspaper for stealing our great name for one of their regular columns. You can look that
up.]
—31—
[What’s that mean? Again with the lawyer material! Stop it now, I mean it! Anybody want a
peanut? GAH!!!]