AIN`T IT THE TRUTH? - Rights Reserved © 2016

3
All Rights Reserved © 2014
2012
AIN’T IT THE TRUTH?
A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a
bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it.
Inside was a genie. The genie said, "I will grant you
three wishes and three wishes only."
The man thought about his first wish and decided,
"I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a
Swiss bank account.”
The man thought about his second wish and
said, “Next I want a red Ferrari.” POOF! There
was the car sitting in front of him. Finally he asked for his
final wish, "I wish I was irresistible to women."
“No problem,” said the genie and POOF! He turned him
into a box of chocolates.
PLANE AND SIMPLE
A popular airline recently introduced a special half
rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great feedback, the company sent out letters to all the
wives of businessmen who had used the special
rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters
are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143
ALL I WANT IS A LOG CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWEHERE WITH REALLY FAST INTERNET SERVICE
PEOPLE WHO SHINE FROM WITHIN USUALLY DON’T NEED A SPOTLIGHT TO BE IN
WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US. — ROMANS 5:8
‘PSITHURISM’ - THE SOUND OF THE WIND THROUGH THE TREES
I ALWAYS WONDER WHY BIRDS STAY IN THE SAME PLACE WHEN THEY CAN FLY ANYWHERE. THEN I ASK MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION
YOU CAN TELL HOW SMART SOMEONE IS BY WHAT THEY LAUGH AT
LIFE IS A TCKET TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH
¥ It was physicist Albert Einstein who made the following sage observation: ‘Few people are capable of
expressing with equanimity opinions which differ
from that of their social environment.’
¥ Unlike humans, birds see everything in focus all the time.
¥ You might be surprised to learn that the bagpipe did not
originate in Scotland. This ancient instrument existed in Asia
in the pre-Christian era. Those who study such things say that
the Emperor Nero was a bagpiper, even performing publicly
at Roman athletic events.
¥ Sharks have existed for 50 million years
longer than trees.
I WOULD RATHER DIE OF PASSION THAN OF BOREDOM
¥ From ancient times in China up until the
19th century, the upper classes considered
very long fingernails to be beautiful and a
mark of distinction, indicating that one
with such long nails never had to perform
manual labor. Cracking was a problem with these long nails,
though, as they sometimes were grown in excess of 2 inches
long. To combat the problem, the ruling classes would wear
special gold and silver covers on their nails.
¥ Even cows have best friends, and they will
spend most of their time together.
¥ Your heart circulates a million gallons of
blood a year.
¥ You almost certainly have a Social Security
number, but did you ever wonder what the numbers mean? The first three numbers indicate what
part of the country you were in when you applied (or when
your parents applied for you), the next two numbers are a
code indicating the year of your application, and the last four
numbers are considered to be your citizen’s number.
Thought for the Day: ‘and the public know. / What all schoolchildren learn. / Those to whom evil is done. / Do evil in return.’ -- W.H. Auden
(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.
WE MET FOR A REASON; YOU’RE EITHER BLESSING OR A LESSON
FOR WHOEVER WANTS TO SAVE HIS LIFE WILL LOSE IT, BUT WHOEVER LOSES HIS LIFE FOR ME WILL SAVE IT. —LUKE 9:24
BOOKS ARE PROOF THAT HUMANS CAN WORK MAGIC
NO, I’M NOT ADDICTED TO COFFEE...ALTHOUGH WE ARE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP
IF YOU DO NOT ASK THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE NO
WHEN YOU STUMBLE MAKE IT PART OF THE DANCE
CHRIST DIED FOR THE UNGODLY - ROMANS 5:6
TIPS & TRICKS FROM BITS N' BYTES COMPUTERS
Facebook’s main business is selling ads based on its user base. I
mean me and you! A lot of privacy violations occur because people
don’t protect themselves. These are great tips for you – and for
your family. Kids should understand the importance of these privacy protections early. And if there are less tech-savvy folks around,
go over these tips with them, too.
Facebook Search - Yes, Facebook keeps a record of your entire site search
history. On your Facebook home page, click the down arrow in the upper
right-hand corner, and select Activity Log. In the left-hand column where it
lists Photos, Likes and Comments, click the More button below those. Then
at the bottom of the list click Search. Once you’ve clicked on that, you’ll be
able to see everything – and everyone – you’ve search for on the site. Up at
the top of the page, click on Clear Searches, and then again in the dialog
box to confirm. The search area should now be empty. You can’t turn this
feature off, so you’ll have to do this regularly.
Advertising - If you let it, Facebook will use your picture to endorse or sell
products. Believe it or not, Facebook’s terms of service allow your image
to be automatically used if you’ve said you “liked” a particular product, or
“checked in” at a particular store or restaurant. To stop this, let’s go back to
the Activity Log page and, again on the left-hand side, click on the Likes
link. You’ll see all your likes listed.
Privacy Settings - Third, we need to dive into privacy settings. We all
have to take responsibility for our online privacy. So go to the padlock icon
in the upper right corner of your profile and under “Who can see my stuff?”
set “Who can see my future posts?” to Friends. So you might think about
weeding out your friends list.
For Parents - Here’s a tip for parents. Facebook originally didn’t let the
Facebook pages for kids be viewable by the general public – just their
friends. That’s changed. If your kids are minors, it’s a good idea to go in
and adjust their privacy settings to make sure they are set to “Friends.” You
should also go to the down arrow in the upper corner, select Settings and in
the left-hand column choose Privacy. Then click the Limit Past Posts link
and set that to Friends as well.
Plan Ahead - And finally, this is a tiny bit sobering, but if Facebook and
your Facebook profile is a big part of your life, you should start thinking
about what you want to happen if you were to pass away. Facebook rules
decree that the status of your page will remain the way you had it in life; it
will be “memorialized,” as the company puts it, when they are presented
with evidence of your passing. Stay Safe My Friends
THE LESS I NEED THE BETTER I FEEL
WHEN YOU FORGIVE YOU DON’T ALTER THE PAST, YOU CHANGE THE FUTURE
‘TARANTISM’ - THE UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO DANCE AND BE HAPPY
¥ On April 30, 1888, a hailstorm devastates
the farming town of Moradabad, India, killing 230 people and thousands of farm animals. Most of the victims died instantly when
hail the size of oranges rained down from the
sky, striking them.
¥ On April 28, 1897, the Chickasaw and Choctaw, two of the
Five Civilized Tribes, become the first to agree to abolish
tribal government and communal ownership of land. By 1902,
the other three tribes -- the Cherokees, Seminoles and Creeks
-- followed suit, finally throwing open all of Indian Territory
to white settlement.
¥ On May 4, 1916, Germany responds to
a demand by U.S. President Woodrow
Wilson by agreeing to limit its submarine
warfare. However, on Feb. 1, 1917, Germany announced the resumption of unrestricted submarine warfare, and the United States formally entered World War I.
YOUR NAKED BODY SHOULD ONLY BELONG TO THOSE THAT HAVE ALREADY FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOUR NAKED SOUL.
¥ On May 2, 1933, although accounts of
an aquatic beast living in Scotland's
Loch Ness date back 1,500 years, the
modern legend of the Loch Ness Monster is born when a sighting makes local
news. The Inverness Courier newspaper
related an account of a local couple who
claimed to have seen "an enormous animal rolling and plunging on the surface."
¥ On April 29, 1968, "Hair," the now-famous "tribal love-rock
musical" that introduced the era-defining song "Aquarius,"
premieres on Broadway. "Hair" quickly became not just a
smash-hit show, but a genuine cultural phenomenon.
¥ On May 3, 1980, 13-year-old Cari Lightner of Fair Oaks,
Calif., is killed by a drunk driver while walking along a quiet
road when the car swerves out of control and strikes her.
Cari's tragic death compelled her mother, Candy Lightner, to
found the organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving
(MADD).
¥ On May 1, 1941, months before its release, Orson Welles'
landmark film "Citizen Kane" begins generating such controversy that Radio City Music Hall refuses to
show it. "Citizen Kane," now revered as
one of the greatest movies in history, made
its debut at the smaller RKO Palace Theater and was a failure at the box office.
(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.
COMFORT ZONES ARE GREAT; BUT NOTHING EVER GROWS THERE
THE SMALLEST DEED IS GREATER THE LARGEST INTENTION
BY HIS WOUNDS YOU HAVE BEEN HEALED. — 1 PETER 2:24
Answers
1. Magma
2. Four on each foot
3. 3.1 miles
4. Between southern Italy and
Greece
5. 38
6. The twins
7. Saul Bellow
8. 2002
9. "Christmas Vacation"
10. Black Sabbath
(c) 2013 King Features Synd.,
Inc.
NO ONE GETS SICK ON WEDNESDAYS
1. SCIENCE: What is another word for molten rock below the
Earth's surface?
2. ANIMAL KINGDOM: How many toes does a hippopotamus have?
3. MEASUREMENTS: How many miles are run in a 5K
(kilometer) footrace?
4. GEOGRAPHY: Where is the Ionian Sea?
5. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: How many colleges are
housed at Oxford University?
6. ASTROLOGY: What is the symbol of the Gemini sign?
7. LITERATURE: Who wrote the novel "Humboldt's Gift"?
8. MUSIC: In what year did singer Kelly Clarkson win the
"American Idol" competition?
9. MOVIES: What Chevy Chase movie featured the tagline
"yule crack up"?
10. ENTERTAINERS: What band is Ozzie Osbourne associated with?
IF ANYONE WOULD COME AFTER ME, HE MUST DENY HIMSELF AND TAKE UP HIS CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW ME -LUKE 9:23
HE HIMSELF BORE OUR SINS IN HIS BODY ON THE TREE, SO THAT WE MIGHT DIE TO SINS AND LIVE FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS— 1 PETER 2:24
UNICORNS ARE REAL; THEY’RE JUST SHORT, FAT AND GREY...WE CALL THEM RHINOS
A GROUPING OF SHARKS IS CALLED A SHIVER