Issue7 - John Abbott College
Transcription
Issue7 - John Abbott College
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ news ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ bandersnatch It's starting to look a lot like Christmas since 1971 Volume XXXIII Issue 7 Rally at the Gates Of Parliment Thousands of Public Sector Employees protest in the streets of Quebec City ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Nairra Tariq News Editor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Charest was well aware that these changes were bound to cause some upheaval. He stated in his opening address in spring after becoming Premier that he predicted hostility to these adjustments. “There will be (opposition), and it is normal,” Charest then said. ity. CSN President Claudette Carbonneau actively spoke out at the rally last Saturday calling for a province wide “ Day of Destruction” on Dec.11th, which would be a day when all CSN members would not attend work as a form of protest against these newly proposed laws. “We have a government that is attacking everyone, that is going full-speed ahead to pass laws that are anti-union, anti-social, anti-compassion,” said Carbonneau, “We’re not going to let them get away with it - and they are doing it, essentially, with the support of the bosses.” At another rally last week about 7,000 activists protested outside the assembly. They were lead by the Quebec Federation of Labor who was present at this rally as well. The CSN and many of the other organizations involved in this dispute are asking the government to preserve the quality and accessibility of public services and the financing of social programs. They are demanding fair taxing, redistribution of wealth and fiscal equal- Charest’s government believes that by giving tax relief’s to the middle class they will be benefiting the people of Quebec. However, Carbonneau has objected by saying that these plans will only harm the middle-class which greatly benefit’s from union memberships, low-cost day care and other social measures. “I think we will be able to show him that the middle class, which he claims to defend, is in the streets to defend itself, and this demonstration ... 45 of the Quebec Labor Code are; deunionizing home daycare workers as well as an increase of 40% in daycare fees, placing CLSCs under the authority of hospitals and cutting benefits to people who are on welfare. ○ The streets of Quebec City were crowded with 20, 000 to 30,000 displeased protesters on Saturday, Nov. 29th just outside the National Assembly to make their complaints known to the Liberal government. Demonstrators denounced the government’s plans to modify Quebec’s labor laws and allow more subcontracting of government services. The protest was lead by the 280,000 member Confédération des Syndicats Nationaux, whose objections were mainly targeted at Gilles Taillon, President of the Conseil du Patronat du Québec and Jean Charest’s Liberal Government. The Charest government has outlined their plans to alter the labor code, reduce taxes, restructure health care and education and support private enterprises over intervention in the economy, which has angered numerous public sector employees as well as many Quebec citizens. A few of the changes proposed to article is not an isolated incident,” she said. John Abbott teachers have also been actively involved in voicing their discontent with the proposed changes. Charest intends to impose $30 million dollar cuts to CEGEP education and cut $90 million from primary and secondary schools. He and his government are also looking towards particularly under financing universities. The John Abbott College Faculty Association was supplying transportation and lunch to any student or teachers interested in going to Quebec City for the rally. Their worries were clearly stated by Peter Solonysznyj, Professor of History and an executive of JACFA who said, “ We’re concerned with the quality of public services including education in Quebec. We believe these laws proposed by the government will cause a worsening or deterioration of public services”. It seems John Abbott teachers and students in solidarity are willing to take to the picket lines in order to ensure the free and democratic will of we, the people of Quebec. Where in the World is President Bush? President Bush Spends Thanksgiving in Iraq ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Some Bush critics claimed that this trip was nothing more than a publicity stunt. And this stunt was just meant to create plenty of photo opportunities and to raise the president’s popularity because of the recent scrutiny from critics on his policies on Iraq. The main reason for this security stems from his inability to prevent the rising death toll of Americans in Iraq. Zeshan Chisty Staff Writer ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Across the border our southern neighbors were celebrating their thanksgiving on Thursday. President Bush had quite an eventful Thanksgiving. He celebrated the holiday in one of the most unstable countries in the world, he spent it in Iraq. He was there to offer the nation’s gratitude in person to some of the soldiers that are stationed in Baghdad. Bush stated in his weekly radio address that the troops stationed in Iraq were doing good, their morale is high and that their military is confident that they will prevail. The trip occurred in complete secrecy. SUJAC Update ........................ 3 Campus Life ............................ 4 Opinion ................................... 7 Slanderbatch .......................... 9 Arts ......................................... 13 Entertainment ........................ 15 Sports ..................................... 18 Scoreboard ............................ 19 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ The citizens of Iraq, complained that Bush did not come and see how their situation is fairing. Some were further annoyed that their country was being used for what many thought was a stunt for the upcoming elections. ○ White House officials denied any claims that the trip had any political implications. The White House said that they were not troubled by the criticism that women who stand between us and the dangers of the world,” acknowledging the difficulties of their families back home and the loss of families who will never again see loved ones who passed away in the war. Bush is facing for his trip to Iraq. There are also rumors going around that the Secret Service had filed objections against the trip. B u t Condoleezza Rice dism i s s e d t h e s e r u m o r s and said that agents were “prepared to go forward” and w e r e “right of the middle” of the planning. She also further s t a t e d that “I’m not going to try to characterize what they thought, but they were involved in the planning from the very beginning.” In his radio address, Bush paid respects to “such brave men and 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ “The courage of our soldiers and their families show the spirit of this country in great adversity,” Bush said. “And many citizens are showing their appreciation by helping military families here at home.” Bush was not the only head delegate to make a visit to soldiers posted in another country, especially in an unstable region. Earlier this year our very own PrimeMinster visited soldiers’ station in Afghanistan. ○ ○ Much likes Bush’s visit Chretien’s was short. But his trip was short for a very different reason, there had been a supposed threat of a missile attack on the Canadian base. Chretien was briskly evacuated from Afghanistan. Also unlike Bush’s trip Chretien did not keep his trip a secret. 1 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ news ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Abyssinia, Bandersnatch : you have to love a friend with the same passion as you would your soul mate. The lines between kinds of love are never that clear, but since life is nothing but shades of grey anyhow, we'd might as well live, love, loose, but never regret. Regardless of all this, I know for a fact that there is nothing quite like cégep and its influence. This place has taught me the importance of life-altering things such as loyalty, hangover therapy, hydroponics and the value of human kinship. At the end of the day, there's nothing else that matters but the beauty of love and friendship. So, what have I learned? ○ ○ not because of the joy we get, but because of how much stronger it makes us and how much more we appriciate the little things. Most students at John Abbott come from middle, upper-class families and have never known poverty. I came from a neighborhood where poverty was the better option and bullets fly as often as the winds change. I had to learn to appreciate the simple things, like seeing my friends alive the next day. Take a second look at people sitting in the street downtown. Bring them some soup and chat a bit. They have more to teach us than any textbook. I've learned that there is nothing like living on the raw. Every emotion sears through your heart, every minute is precious, and every smile is worth a million dollars. It's a more painful way to get through the years, but it is so rewarding, I've learned that there is a fine line between companionship, love and friendship, but that in the end, to be free and alive, sometimes, you have to love a lover like you would a sibling, and other times ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 2 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Did you know that last Sunday the Santa Clause in a Christmas parade in Laval was knocked off or either fell off the float (we’re not sure exactly what happened, the story is still being covered)? He lay unconscious in a pool of blood until Guy Pelletier, owner of Allégorie Inc. and also responsible for the parade, came to his rescue. Is that traumatizing for a child or what? I mean here you are all dressed up to go and see Santa ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ News Editor Nairra Tariq Campus Life Editor Open Opinion Editor Marc Nakhleh Entertainment Editor Karen Gelsthorpe Sports Editor Naila Jinnah Arts Editor Chris Deslauriers ○ Christine Nadeau Assistant Editor-in-Chief Benjamin Wald Office Manager Open with the Notorious Nairra Tariq tions. Hey, enough of me ranting on about my issues with our provincial government, there’s much more to talk about! ○ I thank them all for that, and thank you, Bandersnatch, you're sending me on my way with many, many gifts in my heart. ○ ○ Editor-in-Chief Christine Nadeau News Editor's Corner Hi again! I hope to find you all in good health, especially with the flu going around. For those of you who don’t know, flu shots are free at your local CLSC. Hurry, because you just never know when the CLSC’s will become hospital owned and you’ll find yourself emptying your pockets. Yes, that’s right, the Liberal party seems to be eager to make many changes to article 45 of the Quebec Labor Code. Never mind that our healthcare system is deteriorated and we have schools closing down by the year no let’s go ahead, privatize most public sector jobs, and allow huge tax breaks to those who are by no means lacking in wealth. Sounds, like my kind of fiscal policy! Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a Liberal supporter for many years now. I even have a membership with them and quite frankly when Charest ran for the Liberal party and dropped his leadership position with a losing Federal party to join a losing provincial party, I saw some hope of Liberals being able to spin our economy around. However, I am unable to see how these changes proposed by Charest are going to benefit us…the middle class of Quebec. I mean we all know that the Liberal party received sufficient funding from many major corporations during the last election. I just hope their not altering their political agenda to suit the needs of money hungry corpora- ○ Tel: (514) 457-6610 Ext 5389 Fax: (514) 457-6091 E-Mail: [email protected] Office: H-041 I've learned to love my friends, not because I could help them, or because I should, but because I do. I simply and truly love each and every one of them, my brothers and my sisters, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. I've learned that love has far more levels than we can ever understand, and perhaps ever can, and if we only drop our walls for a while and let it flood us, we can gather the strength we need to get through the day and follow our dreams, no matter how many obstacles we have to face. ○ BANDERSNATCH John Abbott College P.O. Box 2000 Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue, QC H9X 3L9 A Final Thought, As The Tea Cools In a Glass Cup... All good times eventually come to an end, and I myself must move on from my work at Bandersnatch to greater and grander things, like eating...and sleeping...and perhaps graduating! ○ Production Manager Sarah Jade Aubé and when you get there he’s lying there on the ground like a dead fish. I was really sorry for the little kids who didn’t get the chance to see “Santa”. I guess there’s always Fairview. Meanwhile, Roger Caron or “Santa” received a dozen stitches in the back of his head and is recovering in hospital. Advertising Manager Open Archive Editor Open Foreign Languages Editor Open Games Page Editor Jeffrey Katz Speaking of Christmas and the festive holiday season, remember that this is the time of year when most people do a whole lot of shopping and we don’t always realize how much of excessive consumption we can be guilty of. I know Buy Nothing Day is over, but it’s still a good idea to really stop and think before you go spending away your money frivolously this holiday season. After all, North American’s are guilty of using up 60% of the worlds resources. It’s time we all made an individual effort to reduce the wasteful degree of consumption North Americans are accountable for. Photographic Coordinator Zili Wang Webmasters Ryan Bruyère Nick Foster David Newman ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Bandersnatch is the student-run Alternative Press at John Abbott College. It is published every two weeks and is partially funded by the Student Activities Commitee and by advertising solicited members. Submissions are welcome in traditionally either English or French and become property of the newspaper. Submissions must be on an IBM compatible diskette along with a printed hard copy and MUST be in Text Format (*.txt) or RichText Format (*.RTF). All submissions must include the full name and telephone number of the contributor, as well as the e-mail address if applicable. The staff reserves the right to reject or edit any submissions for length, legality, or clarity. Letters to Bandersnatch should be a maximum of 500 words but may see print nonetheless if they are longer but worthwhile. Neither spelling nor grammar will be corrected on letters to the editors, it is the responsibility of the contributor to correct them. Submissions and letters should be dropped off at the Bandersnatch office, located in the basement of Herzberg, H-041 (across from the Hallway entrance of the oval). That’s all for me this semester. I’ll be back next semester with loads more to talk about. I hope you all get whatever it is your hoping for this holiday season. As for me, I eagerly await the end of these last two weeks and THE RETURN OF THE KING! bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Stoppin' Your Shoppin' For A day ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ up, and mall rats everywhere to be found, many are saying it makes sense for Adbusters to pick end-November to launch their yearly Buy Nothing Day campaign. Such an event clearly opposes the modern Christmastime commercialism. The day after the American Thanksgiving is said to be their first day of the wintertime holiday season. This is when the shopping frenzy begins. November 28 th , that same day, is then the perfect date for the B N D m o v e ment to express itself. Charlotte Smoley Staff Writer ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Unless you have been living as a hermit for the last little while, you have probably heard mention of Buy Nothing Day either in a newspaper, on a TV show or a radio broadcast, or as I did: in Abbott’s very own Daily Info. The grassroot organisation Adbusters, based in Vancouver, started to work on the idea of a Buy Nothing Day back in 1992. Since then, this concept and event has spread to various organisations in 55 count r i e s worldwide. The concept of this d a y , w h i c h was last Friday, November 28 th , is to take a much needed break from our Western society’s mass- consumerism. Basically, try not to spend any money for 24 hours. To those of you now wondering: “How does she expect me to do that?!” I respond that nothing, even such a challenge as Buy Nothing Day, is impossible. To others who are rolling their eyes at the previous group, I say not so fast! There is always room for growth and improvement. You are under no obligation to go as far as a group of anti-consumerists in Thunder Bay, Ont. who, on the occasion of BND (Buy Nothing Day), recycled ‘garbage’ into useful items. Maybe all you feel like doing is walking (not driving!) past that Second-Cup on the way home today without buying you favourite $4.00 coffee drink. However big or small the action you take, the point will be made. Think about your own spending, and what effect you, as a consumer, are having on the world around you. The objective is to perform an act against the constant appeal to over consume, which is encouraged by advertisements. T h e B N D campaign h a s sparked debate around t h e world. Some oppose the idea entirely, saying that it is bad for the economy, while others just don’t understand how one non-shop day can have an impact on global consumer spending. That the interest of stores would be harmed, is also a concern. Over the past twenty years, savings rates have decreased. People save less and spend more than they used to. Is all this spending necessary? In a recent Opinion Research Corp. survey of 1000 Americans, 35% had an unused Christmas present collecting dust in their closet while 33% admitted to throwing Christmas presents straight into the trash. According to www.buynothingday.co.uk, more than one million people throughout the world were expected to participate in the 2003 event. Whether or not you are the perfect candidate to take part in Buy Nothing Day, I urge you visit www.adbusters.org/campaigns/bnd/ for more info. It is always best to be informed. With the holidays coming ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ news ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Canada Puts Up A Fight Against Aids OTTAWA, Dec. 1 /CNW/ Today, the Honourable Anne McLellan, Minister of Health, released Canada’s Report on HIV/AIDS 2003 - Looking Forward: Focussing the Response. As part of the Government of Canada’s commitment to report annually to Canadians on the progress made under the Canadian Strategy on HIV/AIDS, Minister McLellan released Canada’s sixth annual report on HIV/AIDS to mark the 16th annual World AIDS Day on December 1, 2003. The report highlights Canada’s progress in fighting HIV/AIDS nationally and internationally, but indicates the country is not yet ahead of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. “Canada is taking important steps to advance the fight against HIV/AIDS and is demonstrating its strong support for the United Nations Declaration of Commitment on HIV/AIDS,” said Minister McLellan. “This report, however, makes it clear that we still have work ahead of us and that we must continue to get the message out that HIV/AIDS is fatal and remains a significant threat to the health of Canadians.” HIV/AIDS epidemic in Canada continues to grow in scope and complexity. At the end of 2002, 56,000 people were living with HIV infection - an increase of 12 percent since 1999. The HIV epidemic affects many groups of Canadians, including gay men, Aboriginal people, injection drug users, people in prisons and people from countries where HIV is endemic. In May 1998, the Government of Canada announced a comprehensive strategy to address the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Canada. The Canadian Strategy on HIV/AIDS, with annual funding of $42.2 million, has clear goals: More than 42 million people are living with HIV/AIDS worldwide. Sub- Saharan Africa has been hardest hit, with one in every 13 people between the ages of 15 and 49 HIV-positive. The Government of Canada is working towards giving developing countries greater access to much-needed, low-cost patented - find effective vaccines, drugs and therapies; -prevent the spread of HIV infection in Canada; - find a cure -ensure effective care, treatment and support for Canadians living with HIV/AIDS and their families, friends and caregivers; - minimize the impact of HIV/ AIDS on individual communities; and Medicines for public health problems such as HIV/AIDS. Together with its partners in the Canadian Strategy on HIV/AIDS, the Government of Canada is also leading the development of a new action plan that will strengthen Canada’s ongoing efforts to combat HIV/AIDS. “I am confident that this action plan, once finalized, will help guide us as we collectively continue the fight against the epidemic,” added Minister McLellan. - counter the social and economic factors that increase individual and collective risk of HIV infection. Copies of the World AIDS Day report are available on Health Canada’s website at www.hcsc.gc.ca/hppb/hiv_aids/ index.html The Minister of Health will be marking the day at a vigil to remember the passing of those we have lost to HIV/AIDS. The report shows that the SUJAC Update Greetings fellow Abbotteers! Well the end of the semester is upon us. Exams are approaching fast and stress levels are high. Just remember to take a break every once in a while and things won’t seem so bad. And if they are, don’t forget there are various resources in place to help you at this trying time of the semester. So if you need any help, drop by the Learning Centre, Student Services, or SUJAC. If they can’t help you, they’ll send you to someone who can. to use the machine and the banks get all the money. The proposition we’ve been offered is to get the banks to contribute money to the College Foundation. Now let’s be clear: the money won’t go to the College coffers; it will go to the Foundation. The Foundation is an organization that raises money for the students and student-related things, such as, the new football scoreboard, for which the Foundation was a major contributor. They also fund a lot of scholarships to help students pay for university. SUJAC has been debating an interesting issue this past week: Bank machines. We have been introduced to an interesting proposition. Currently, we have a contract with CIBC, so if you have an account with them you are most likely not paying any transaction fees or less service charges. If you aren’t with CIBC, however, you could be paying up to $3.00 Now I know what your thinking: ”What’s the catch?” Well, it might mean switching banks, therefore, CIBC customers would start paying services fees but customers of another bank might end up not paying fees anymore. Another thing is that if we switch, we might have to switch to an independent company, which means we would all pay service fees. 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ When the question was brought to Congress, another issue was raised: ”If we can negotiate with a bank to contribute money to a fund, couldn’t we negotiate for a lower fee? And if we can, do we want to save around 50 cents or pay the same price as always and contribute to a scholarship?” On these questions, Congress was essentially split with no decisive majority. So now SUJAC is putting the question to you: “What do you think we should try to negotiate for?—a small reduction in bank machine transaction fees or another scholarship? or should we just keep the status quo?” Please come by P-101 with your opinion so we can get an idea of what the student body wants. Good luck with your exams and have a Happy Holiday Season! ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 3 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ campus life Campus ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Life with temporary editor Jeffrey Katz ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ UNJAC Kicks Arse at SSUNS ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ America, but there were still some that came from as far as Trinidad and the Caribbean Islands. Talk about living a permanent vacation! For the major part of the weekend students get to debate different topics that are some of the same topics that are debated by the actual United Nations Committees. This is actually really cool. Imagine spending your weekend debating a serious crisis that is affecting the world, coming up with solutions, and then seeing similar actions to what you had thought up carried out by the UN. It seems like quite the accomplishment. There are various committees; for example, crisis committees, where things are constantly going..... well, Cynthia D'Cruz Contributor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Over the weekend of November 14-16 I had the privilidge of attending The Secondary School’s United Nations Simulation. The Secondary School’s United Nations Simulation was mainly comprised of students from grades 11 and 12 in secondary schools; it also featured various CEGEP students from John Abbott College, Dawson College, and Marianolpolis. This conference took place at the Delta hotel. The entire conference was run and judged by volunteer McGill students. Though this conference might seem somewhat low-key, it has developed into something far from it! People from far and wide came to attend this amazing conference at the Delta Hotel downtown. The majority of students were from Toronto and the United States of press corps and other committees that involve role playing or have situation that have occurred in the past, allowing the students to play roles of people from the past. For example one of our own John Abbott students had the honor of being the infamous Sheila Cops. Needless to say he did an excellent job in portraying her. So other than the little fiascoes, tours, shopping, and committee sessions were fun, fun, fun! One can only hope that MCMUN, the sister simulation that brings people from Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and many others, will be just as splendiferous if not more! If any students are interested in possibly joining this club please not that “newbies” are always welcome and that the people running the show, James and “Z,” are very kind and will not hesitate to make your UN Simulation dreams come true. All you've got to do is ask! not quite wrong, but things usually aren’t too good, and the people are being kept on their toes because of all the stuff that goes on. Then there are general assemblies, which can vary from groups of 30 people, to about 100. Personally I find that the bigger assembly groups are more fun because then you get to meet more people and more thought is put into the subject of the debate. It’s really interesting to see those passionate kids that turn red, and beyond, just to defend their cause. The smaller assemblies are just as fun, since smaller groups tend to make things a little more personal, but unlike the larger groups with such a small group of people, it is often much harder to pull off a scandal. Lastly there are Righteous Insanity with Arpad Nagy any and every chain people tied him up with, and that by night he used to scream and cup himself. When Jesus commanded the evil spirit/s to leave the man, the man runs up to Jesus and kneels before him. Then they (that is Jesus and the evil spirit) have this casual conversation that goes like this: the spirit acknowledges who Jesus is and begs to be spared. Jesus asks it’s name. It answers and, seeing the pigs nearby, begs to go in them (instead of dying, I guess). Jesus gives it permission. The spirit goes in the pigs. The pigs go nuts. The pigs jump off a cliff and die. The MAN is FREE! Another time, the disciples ask Jesus a question about a blind beggar they run into on the street. Jesus Miracles Jesus ran into people in need all the time. Once the word got out that he could heal all kinds of diseases, he became a really powerful people’s magnet. The sick would come to him to get healed, and the physically healthy would go and watch people get healed, and listen to this very interesting guy speak of God and of heaven and tell great stories that made them think. Once, after crossing a lake by boat, Jesus runs into this man who is possessed with (an) evil spirit/s. The Gospel of Mark writes that this man lived in tombs away from the nearby village, that he could break free from 4 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ease… Jesus healed many more people. Many blind, many leper, fever, the lame, some dead, some demon possessed, … Jesus had compassion on people. Jesus healed people… physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is why many times before healing them, Jesus forgave their sins and talked to them. I encourage you to read up on what I tell you. The 2 first stories are from Mark 5 and John 9. I base all that I write for ‘Righteous Insanity’ on the word of God found in the Bible. If you have any questions, comments, if you agree with something, or disagree, or want prayer, please e-mail me at [email protected]. God Bless you! Have a great Christmas break! answers, and like always, Jesus has compassion on the man (compassion being a deep concern for people’s sufferings and an urge to help). Jesus just couldn’t bear seeing people in desperate need and not do anything about it. So Jesus spat on the dirt road, picked up some dirt with his saliva, and put it in the man’ eyes. Then he told the man to go to the pool and wash. And then Jesus left the man. So the man went and washed off the saliva with the dirt from the street… AND COULD SEE! Jesus touched a outcast with leprosy to heal him. Imagine this man, who has not even shook anyone’s hand in years because people were afraid of his contagious skin dis- bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ campus life Access Code: Herzeberg ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ can get results that are posted in both languages. Using “Smart Search” is also a smart option – no pun intended. “Smart Search” uses synonyms (words that are similar in meaning) to increase the number of results you get. In other words, if you type in “Office Work”, it will also display “Clerical” results. Imagine if you use all the aforementioned tips! Your job searching time will be drastically decreased, and will prove to be much more fruitful. There is one more Workoplis Campus feature that can make a difference in who gets the job. Posting your C.V. online in the “My Resumés” section makes it easier for you to apply for jobs online, and also makes your C.V. accessible to employers. Let them match your profile with their open jobs instead of you doing all the work. Not to mention that having your C.V. stored in a private online location means that you can print it from anywhere! Last but not least, why not visit the “Resource Center” at www.workopoliscampus.com? It offers great tips for writing your C.V. and gives great interview tips. This section is fun to visit during your spare time to learn more about what employers expect from serious job seekers. However, to take advantage off all these cool features, you need to register! Just log on to www.workopoliscampus.com and click on “New Job Seeker”. Follow the easy steps to complete the 5 minute registration process. Don’t forget to select the boxes that make it possible for the JAC Student Employment Center to contact you with new features, job openings and upcoming events. If you’re having problems, contact your JAC representative at: [email protected]. Oh, and for the access code… It’s all about Herzberg. ○ Are you looking for a job, but can’t seem to find one? Why not get someone else to do your work? Remember the Student Employment Center – located in H-138 – near the Herzberg entrance? Well, maybe you should drop in and see the new layout. All jobs are now posted only online at www.workopoliscampus.com. The billboards in the SEC can now give you more information on other types of job-related info, such as great interview tips. Some of you might be asking yourselves what this Workopolis Campus thing is… and I’ve got the answer! It’s a job search website that is so easy to work with that will make the time you spend on job searching substantially decrease. It’s loaded with cool features that make your life easier. For example, whenever you search for jobs, save your searches under “Saved Searches”. This feature will allow you quick access to new jobs under the same search terms. An extension of this feature is “Career Alerts!” It’s just like “Saved Searches” except that it e-mails you the results. Instead of you running after non-existent jobs, the jobs will find you! There are many different options to choose from, and selecting the right ones is sometimes confusing. Let’s say you’re job searching and you’re not getting any results. Try generalizing your search by selecting broader job Categories and Job Industries. Also, searching for “Montreal and area” rather than just Montreal will give you results for openings in the West Island, in NDG, and even off Island! “Montreal” is just one of the boroughs of the city. Also, you can get more results by ticking off both the English and French boxes at the top right of your search screen, you ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ The Skinny on StNick ○ Naila Jinnah Sports Editor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Martha’s Christmas party. Start a routine and continue it through the year. 2) Eat regularly: If you know that you will be going to a party later that night, don’t starve yourself all day so that you will be hungry for the big meal. By doing this, you will be more likely to indulge and over-eat. 3) Balance your plate: Avoid filling up your plate with rich, calorieladen foods. Instead, have a bit of everything including some fruits and vegetables. This way, you will still be able to eat what you enjoy. 4) Watch out for sugary foods: The fact is that rich, sugary foods only make us crave more sugary foods, which leads to feeling bloated and sick and promising ourselves never to eat again… If you make sure to practice some form of healthy eating over the holidays, along with a dose of regular exercise, you can reduce your cravings and gain more energy to do fun stuff, like snowball fights! 5) Moderate your alcohol intake: Okay, we all know it… For many, holidays + New Year's = lots of drinking. But don’t forget that alcohol is fattening too. 12 ounces of regular beer? 150 calories. 8 ounces of rum and coke? 200 calories. 8 ounces of piña colada? Try a whopping 520 calories. Ouch. 6) Learn to say no thank-you: Is your mom’s friend pushing you to try some of his or her creamy rice pudding, even though you’re stuffed to the brim? It’s okay to say no thanks. You don’t have to feel as though you have to say yes to everyone who offers you food and drinks. Don’t let yourself be bullied into eating something you don’t really want to. 7) Leave what you don’t want: Though you might have grown up thinking it is impolite to leave food on your plate, when you feel full, stop eating. Take small portions of everything when you fill your plate to avoid waste. Hopefully with these handy tips you can enjoy a delicious holiday season and avoid rolling into class next semester. Happy Holidays! Tara Millman Contributor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ When it comes to the winter holidays, all I can think about is how much I want to relax. I can’t wait to sleep in, go skating, and watch the snowfall with a big cup of hot chocolate. I always look forward to holiday celebrations, when good food is always present without fail. Who can resist moist, fried potato latkes, gooey apple pies fresh from the oven, creamy eggnog, and all of those cute, little gingerbread men? December is a paradise for all those who love to bake, and not to mention eat. However, with all of these appealing foods comes an unappealing waistline. After sitting on our butts for fifteen weeks, minus the exercise for a lot of students, we get into December with one main idea in our heads: sleep. And while Jolly ol’ St-Nicholas’ potbelly seems to accentuate his gorgeous rosy glow, for many unlucky souls, such as us students, the effects aren’t as flattering. Want a pretty scary fact? According to a recent Weight Watchers report, the average American gains around 7-10 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, and reassures themselves that they will make it a New Year’s Resolution to drop a few pounds. Most people don’t have such luck. Researchers at Washington University have reported that only around 22% of New Year’s diet resolutions make it to February. So how can you survive the yummy holiday season, without having to pass up that slice of rich chocolate cake? Read these tips from Better Health USA and you’ll (almost) be in tiptop shape for bathing suit season (only 6 months away!). 1) Exercise: Most people have a lot more time during the holidays to work out. Use this time to burn off excess calories and fat gained at Aunt 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 5 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ super power of its time. The Foundation for Science Technology and Civilization returns to the story of this remarkable Muslim warrior and adventurer who lived in the 15th Century called Zheng He or Ma He as he was originally known. He was born in 1371 to a poor ethnic Hui (Chinese Muslim) family in Yunnan, Southwest China and grew up speaking Chinese and Arabic, with an extensive knowledge of the geography and customs of Nairra Tariq News Editor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ campus life The prophet said to his Ummah (nation) to travel to China if they had to for Knowledge, and so they did but what perhaps no Muslim had ever predicted was that someday Muslims from China would be embarking on fascinating journeys to all corners of the world. Zheng He was a Muslim naval admiral who sailed in ships the Europeans would not be seeing for the next few decades. From East Africa to Mecca, the Persian Gulf and all through the Indian Ocean, Zheng He’s armada helped change naval history and put China on the map as a world ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ the west. He worked his way up from a servant in the palace of the Imperial Ming family to being the Supreme Commander of the Imperial Household Agency. In 1405, half a century before Columbus’s voyage to the west Zheng He, who was said to be an impressive figure over eight feet tall, set sail in a great fleet of large ships, manned by 500 men. There were great treasure ships over 300 feet long and 150 feet wide, the biggest was 440 feet wide and was 180 across. It was capable of carrying 1000 passengers. Most of the ships were built at ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Dragon Bay shipyard near Nanjing, the remains of which are there to this day. Zheng He was an extraordinary Muslim man who truly followed the advice of the Prophet (P.B.U.H) and sought to expand his horizons for the sake of Islam. Though little is known of his remarkable feats in the West, his name and glory continues to flourish in the Zheng He Institute in China today. Zheng He or Cheng Ho was undoubtedly one of China’s greatest navigators. He died in 1433 and was buried in the southern outskirts of Bulls Head Hill (Niushou) in Nanjing, with the words Allahu Akbar (God is Great) piously inscribed on his tomb. ad goes here 6 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ opinion ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Awakening ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ you view yourself and the world around you is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. A little butterfly Contributor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the mist of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after the blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening! You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view, You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and who you’re needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that the principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundations upon which you must build a life. You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella, or vice-a -versa, and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. And in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are - and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions) and you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process, a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not our job to save the world, and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship, or base your importance on the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them to be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it’s not always about you. (Ah, but it is!) So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and, in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. And you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you You realize that much of the way ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you lean not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening. And you learn to deal with the devil in the most primal state - the ego. will never be a size 8 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up” You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK, and that it is your right to want things and ask for things that your want, and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness and sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for anything less. You learn that, so called negative feeling such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. Your learn to be thankful and to take comfort in may of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about, a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. And you allow only the hands of love that cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch, and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul, so you take more time to laugh and play. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less that your heart’s desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You learn that, for most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve, and that much or life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline and perseverance. Finally, with courage in your heart and presence of God within and around you, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live, the life you desire, knowing it’s in your highest good! You also learn that no one can do it alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time, FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’talways fair, you don’t always get what you think you 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 7 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ opinion ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Pride and Prejudice ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Sadly, even the civilian Polish population who had surrendered and were occupied, betrayed their own citizens because of fear. They let their neighbors, teachers, doctors, and even musicians be dragged off, resettled, tortured and humiliated, and finally, exterminated. Of course, there was an underground; Polish fighters, many of whom gave up their lives to protect and keep in hiding Jewish people, many they didn’t even know. Jeffrey Katz Student ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ One night I decided to watch a film called The Pianist. I’m not exactly sure what it was that made me want to watch it. I suppose it could just be that I heard it was an excellent film. It’s about Warsaw, Poland during World War 2. More specifically, what the Jewish population endured. I myself am Jewish, or at least born so. Truthfully, I don’t practice my religion, nor do I feel tight kinship with other Jewish people. I don’t go to synagogue, nor really do anything that could makes me feel Jewish. People say that it’s over now, so why all the hype? I mostly agreed with them. But then I started thinking about it. If it’s over, why do I constantly hear jokes that are purposefully discriminatory? If there is no chance of ethnic persecution, then why do I see on the news that hate-crimes still exist? If our society is so politically correct, and morally just, then why do we allow ourselves to mock others based on their differences? However, despite all of this, after watching the film, I felt..... proud. I’ve seen Schindler’s List, and a host of other films dramatizing that war, and many about the Plight of the Jewish People. In fact, now it’s almost required viewing in some class or another. This film brought out a feeling in me that was different than just pure sadness and disgust. It made me think about myself, and what I would do in the same situation, and if it could have happened before, could it happen again? I constantly hear, “Well I’m Irish, so it’s okay to make fun,” or “I can say that because I have Jewish friends.” How does that make it okay? If I had been through the Holocaust, and heard you say a “Jew” joke, I would be disgusted. All they fought for, all they suffered, all they sacrificed, so that we can squander our freedom and our rights by breeding hatred. I’m sure a lot of readers have heard about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. A few thousand Jewish people decided to fight back, after losing their families, homes, everything they had, including their respect. They fought back because they had one thing left; their dignity. I’m not exactly sure on the details, a fact I’m not very proud of, and will remedy as soon as possible, but these few wretched people held out against the German occupation for weeks. The only weapons they had were some guns they smuggled in, along with anything they could pick up or make themselves. It’s NOT okay to discriminate. It’s NOT okay to make fun of others based on their differences. It’s certainly NOT okay to take lightly what others before us had to die horribly to fight for. Pzople don’t even realize what they are doing. If it’s okay for them to make a joke, then what’s the problem with their children thinking it’s okay to make jokes? We naively assume that humour is a good way of making racism history. All it does is make racism a joke. If we don’t take racism seriously, then why should our children? What’s to stop the next generation from growing up, not realizing that they’ve been bred to believe that all that has been fought for, once gained, can never be lost? These people had been through years of curfews, foul treatment that wouldn’t even do them respect to try to put into words. They were beaten for no reason, and killed indiscriminately. The old, the young, and anyone that was unable to be worked to death, were murdered in front of their families. Babies were not seen as infants, that should be spared, they were seen as “Jews,” not worth the air they breathed because they were sub-human, pieces of garbage, just because of who they were. 8 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ It had taken her three precious months to get a passport and a work permit. She hadn’t seen or heard from any of her family, and when I spoke to her, wasn’t even sure if they were still alive. She told me that she didn’t really expect to ever see her daughter again, but that she would try until her dying day to bring her family over. She was holding two part-time jobs and trying to save up for an apartment. crumble, and kill a few thousand of our citizens. Where even those problems can be solved safely away from home, by sending ships to bomb, and soldiers to kill, not really realizing what we are doing, not experiencing the terror as others feel it, day by day. We are so self-absorbed, so intent on our own security, that we are growing blind to the atrocities around us. As long as we are warm, have full bellies, and feel secure, then why should we worry about anything else? So, what are we going to do about it? Are we gonna wait, and pretend it’s not happening until it gets so bad that something affects the US? Then, we’ll be the hero, and rush in to save the day. We’ll really only know what happened twenty years later, though. When we watch movies about it. The same thing we did in Somalia, Kosovo, WWII, Korea, Vietnam. I went to Toronto last summer. I stayed at a youth Hostel, and was fortunate enough to meet a young girl who had just arrived from Congo. That country is torn by war, massacres, and a Human Right’s crisis that is completely unacceptable in a world that has set up an international forum for countries to deal with their problems, and international criminal court and laws, and the resources and ability to help countries in desperate need, and more importantly, the people living in those countries. So are we going to wait for the next film to come out, about events that we are ignoring now? Or are we going to stop them from ever happening again? First by stopping the hate we experience everyday, and the use of the veil of humour to hide the underlying maliciousness. She told me that her father was killed and tortured by soldiers. Bodies on the street are a normal sight, and anyone who is seen on the street after dark is shot, no questions asked. Next time you hear someone make a joke about “Jews”, or “Blacks”, or “Pakis”, tell them you won’t stand it, and that it’s unacceptable. You don’t have to be the butt-end, and it doesn’t matter whether the person is the butt-end, or one of their friends. It’s not a joke, and it will never be a joke. For as long as Humanity exists, we will have that flaw that makes us tend towards violence and hate. As long as we have that flaw, we can never let our guard down, can never allow hate to creep up on us and take the controls. No matter how funny the punch-line is. Her entire family, aunts and uncles and siblings and mother, somehow scrounged up just enough money for her to be smuggled out of the country, and to Canada, since the U.S. wouldn’t take her. Their only hope was that she would make it, and that she might possibly be able to build a life for herself here. They didn’t dare expect, or even hope, that she would be able sponsor one of her siblings, or her husband, or her daughter. Those of us lucky enough to live in countries such as ours, where we are able to move forward in the areas of Human Rights and Equality at a comfortable pace and take for granted our liberties. We think that we live in a Golden Age, where our worst problems arrive in airplanes to make our economy ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ slanderbatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ slanderbatch awaiting alien abduction since 1971 Volume XXXIII Issue 7 "Vive la booze, vive le Québec!" A drunken Landry bets on the future of our province. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Nairra Tariq Kung-Fu Ninja ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ party they attended a hockey game at the Molson Center, where Landry was reported to have exclaimed “Vive la booze, vive Québec!” and throw a squid at the Ottawa Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson, because he just couldn’t save the best for last. Martin, outraged at the violence carried out against his fellow Englishmen and confident in their athletic ability, decided to place a bet with Landry. He said that if the Ottawa Senators lost, Québec would finally gain sovereignty. Landry being only half as drunk, asked, “ Shouldn’t we run this by Chrétien first?” And to this Marti replied, “Who?” Landry then swore upon José Theodore that the Canadiens would not lose. Thanks to some unexplainable The good old hockey game has affected Canadian politics, or should we say geography as two of the country’s leading politicians have decided to separate the nation over… a hockey game? Apparently Premiers Paul Martin and Bernard Landry decided the relationship was over. No, no not that kind (we have yet to receive confirmation on that note), they mean the relationship between Canada and Québec has come to an end. The premieres had a few too many drinks at a good-bye party for Prime Minister Chretien where Arnold Schwarzenegger made a guest appearance and affectionately wished him “Hasta la vista, baby.” After the super natural phenomena, they didn’t. That’s right, the Canadiens won the game and an entire province as a part of their victory. dered asked how he may prove the reliability of his story and Chretien calmly stated, “ Well, a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It’s a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it’s because it’s proven.” Martin in his fit of anger began to moon the Canadiens at which point he was escorted out of the arena. Landry was now beginning to feel the symptoms of a hang over and began vomiting everywhere, it was suggested he be taken to the nearest hospital but knowing it would be a four hour wait before seeing a doctor (like most Canadians) they decided to leave him at his favorite hang out place, La Belle Province. Meanwhile, Alliance leader Stephen Harper merely stated, “I don’t know, we should have asked the Americans first”. The new currency of Quebec will be the Frankor and the national food will be poutine. The national slogan is “ Vive le Québec, vive la booze... Oh, oui, et vive la liberté.” When Prime Minister Chrétien was informed of this new change in beaurocracy overnight, he simply refused to believe it. Martin bewil- Bandersnatch: Revolutions It's The End of The World and We Missed it ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Take, for instance, the Ads manager, a.k.a Bander Orc. One day, the Bander Orc and his Orc-ette decided to embark on a trip to, you guessed it, a world far, far, away. They were supposed to notify Jester upon their arrival. Unfortunately, due to what we think might have been technical issues - humans only have a limited number of hands, no matter how technologically advanced they are - Jester never received a transmission. Jester’s not the type of person to really care much of people disappear off the face of the Earth, but in this case, he was left with very specific instructions. In fact, before his departure, the Bander Orc had become increasingly suspicious of the true nature of Art Liberale. Unfortunately, because he had no evidence to prove his theory,the Bander Orc could not prevent what he thought was about to happen. So, according to his instructions, Jester brought a very important letter to the Miss. Notalldere, who proceeded to go insane upon reading it. However, right before she broke down and broke up - she literally fell into pieces before Jester’s eyes - she pointed to the last word in the letter. Starshine Narrator ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Believe it or not, there was a time when all Bandersnatch positions were occupied. It was a time of great rejoicing, as the Bander office was always full of life... and not just those dust mites and silverfish. It was a time when the newspaper was something students would read, rather than use as pillows in class. It was a very great time indeed. Then came the invasion of the “Keepers”. All the politics associated with them was something that the Banderites never had to deal with before. And that’s when all the weird stuff started happening. All of a sudden, instead of having a crowded and noisy office, local H-041 was silent and deserted. It’s almost as if all the members had died. However, our investigators went to, well, investigate the situation. First off, they noticed that a predominant number of the Bandersnatch core group was composed of computer science students. After further, well, investigation, they reported that the comp. sci. geeks had departed for a world far, far, away. However, we believe that they did not leave alone. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Jester, also scared out of his wits, but smart enough to have created a backup copy of his brain, proceeded to advise the remaining leadership of the Bandersnatch of the course of events. Oddly enough, the only Banderites he could find were The New Man, and his sidekick, Tomato Boy. As both were engrossed in some kind of computerized task, Jester leaned in to see what was on the screen. Once again, he had to revert to the saved version of his brain. On the computer screen was an all-new-and-updated “learning” program, containing dynamic programing. There was only on problem: it looked horrible. As Jester attempted to minimize the damage the program had already shortcircuted the brains of all the female Banderites, including Death - The New Man and Tomato Boy were informed of the gravity of the situation. The faithful duo created another of their crazy schemes and decided that their next move should be to put Art Liberale in a situation where he would have to confess his crime. There was only one problem. They needed to find a way to get around the countless “Keepers”. late Côté decided that it would be a good idea to involved the Sisterhood in the battle. It was a smart decision too, because apparently, while the “Keepers” were fighting for equal rights, they forgot to fight their primitive urges. Not that Côté was expecting any less. So as he lead the Sisterhood in the room, two “Keepers” lifted him above the Bander girls and locked him into the Production office, where he remained until he was discoverd by the Anonymous Wax Operator. Meanwhile, the rest of the “Keepers” were charmed into dropping their arms and begging for a quick death. Unfortunately, because of circumstances out of our control and one slightly larger leader, the “Keepers” were doomed to suffer a fate worse than that of Côté’s. The investigators believe that if we were to search the closet in Production, we would discover more bodies, but that remains to be confirmed. Still marked as missing are Little Miss. Bundle of Joy, the Leprechaun and his Fuzzy friend, the Starcraft Operator, J. Mac and good ol’ Cabbage Boy. Here’s where the investigators’ report gets interessting. Apparently, the 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ We hope that this mystery will be solved by the next time the Bander crew will have to use Production. If not, they’ll just have to live with us - I mean - the Ghosts of Bander Past.1 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ slanderbatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Access Anime ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Chris(chuckles): I thought that seemed a little off. By the way, do you happen to have any of those alcoholic peaches on you? Chris Deslauriers The Scapegoat ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Good day everybody! I’ve got a great article set-up for you today! I’ll be interviewing the actors from one of my favourite anime movies, Houshin Engi, or Soul Hunter! Chris: Hello? Raishinshi? Nataku? Nataku+Raishinshi: WHAT? Chris: Can I have one? First up, we have the star of the whole shebang, Taikobou (Tie-ko-bo)! Well, that went well. Oh, there is the villainess of it all, Dakki! Oi, Dakki! Chris: So how are you today? Dakki: Oh, look, a reporter... and a cute one at that! Taikobou: Fine thanks... just a little hung over... Taikobou: Well (blushes).. when I zap the old guy in the beginning... that was for real. He had just ticked me off that morning by putting Jalapenos in my coffee, so I may have put a little too much emotion in that shot. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 6th - “It does so @#$%ing look like her!” - Picasso, 1926 9th - “How the @#$% did you work that out?” Pythagorus, 126 BC 5th - “Where the @#$% are we?” - Amelia Earhart, 1937 8th - “You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?” Michelangelo, 1566 4th - “Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that.” Einstein, 1938 7th - “Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?” - Custer,1877 3rd - “What the @#$% was that?” - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 2 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Song Without a Name Karen Gelsthorpe Shiny Naila Jinnah The Scapegoat Chris Deslauriers Nataku: Liar. Raishinshi: What? You are challenge the hero?! Joshua Benjamin Wald I think I should leave before this gets ugly. Well, that’s all the time for today! This is Chris signing off and saying “Go watch Houshin Engi!” Nanny Open Girl Nerd Sarah Jade Aubé ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Bouncer Open ○ ○ by The Sunburnt Kid 10th - “Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!” - Noah, 4314 BC ○ Silent, but Deadly Marc Nakhleh TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE ○ ○ Present, but not all here Open Raishinshi: Ya! When I’m beating Nataku in the fight! Dakki: Where? Oh, Johnny, I coming for you! (runs off) ○ ○ Kung-Fu Ninja Nairra Tariq Chris: Really? Do you guys have a favourite scene? Chris: Oh, look over there, it’s Johnny Depp, voted the sexiest man alive! ○ ○ Miss Congeniality Christine Nadeau Raishinshi: I think they’re great. They’re all cool, just that Youzen is so slow! My old man is faster! Dakki: Well, of course I did. All the adorable guys made it worth it. I think being the woman behind it all, with the men being manipulated by me was the great part. So, what will you be doing in about an hour? I’ll show you my trailer... Chris(grumbles): Anyways, where there any accidents during this movie? Or something interesting? ○ Nataku : Most of them are strong. You seem to be the weakest here. Chris: Moving right along, did you enjoy the making of this movie? What was your favourite part? Taikobou: I sure did! Especially, learning to fight while drunk and getting my hands on those peaches! ○ Chris: Kay! So d’you like working with the people here? Dakki: Oh, never mind him. He’s such a cute boy. You just can’t get mad at him. Chris: No prob! So, did you have fun doing this movie? ○ Raishinshi: Shut up you! No problem, just ask! Taikobou: I’m the only star, dammit! She plays a minor part compared to me! Taikobou: Well, their all rather different. Youzens’ pretty laid back, Raishinshi is rather noisy and obnoxious, Nataku is.. well.. rather, shall we say, has a one track mind. I won’t even get started with Dakki and her sisters! ○ Nataku: You look weak. I don’t like weak people. Chris(blush): Err...thank-you. So, I was just talking with one of your costars... Chris: I can understand that! So, how is it working with those other guys? ○ Tel: (514) 457-6610 Ext 5389 Fax: (514) 457-6091 E-Mail: [email protected] Office: H-041 Chris: Sorry for bothering you in one of your personal training bouts, but I’d like to ask you a few queries? Taikobou(runs off): No! Their mine! All mine! Ha ha ha ha! ○ SLANDERBATCH John Abbott College P.O. Box 2000 Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue, QC H9X 3L9 A brilliant ploy on my part. We have time for one more interview. ‘BOOM!” I know just the thing. Taikobou(glares): Yes. Why? ○ ○ ○ Dusty Old Book Open ○ 2nd - “I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!” JFK,1963 Oreignfay Anguageslay Editorway Open Moved to St-Anne's Jeffrey Katz And the number 1 most appropriate time for using the “F” word... Paparazzi Zili Wang “Aw c’mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?” - Bill Clinton, 1997 bandersnatch Masters of the Web Ryan Bruyère Nick Foster David Newman ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ slanderbatch ○ Horrorscopes by Scapegoat Leo lines, and any attempts to hit on someone will come flying back at your head, in the shape of a boot, with steel-toes. Business– wise, you’ll do better, because no one will expect you burnt down the place accidentally. The month has probably started off well, but that won’t last for long.Your schoolwork will fall; any relationships you start will be blown off with laughing and other random mishaps.Also, if you drive and/or walk, you will be chased by a large pack of dogs… who have rabies… and while it’s that time of the month….Twice. Taurus Your new expression will be ‘Grab the bull by the horns!” Because a spiteful person that you pissed off in Grade 4 will get back at you since their parents work in the transportation industry.They will ship you off to Spain, to be the new matador against the bull. Without a cape. I think irony bites like a rabid monkey! Pisces Did you ever know a fish could drown? Nuff’said. Sagittarius Your new romantic interest will be fun… for a while. Then you will notice that things are getting kinky, like a interest in bondage, whips and black leather…and you will be enchanted by the sorcery of sado-masochism. She will start smacking you on your haunches and the ilk.Also, your money will diminish like a farmer’s income in a livestock boycott during the epidemic of hoof-and-mouth disease in England, 2002. Virgo You will be giving off the wrong vibes for this month, having unwanted intrusions in your personal space. Then you will wake up one morning next to an older man named Bill, and you’ll swear you’ve seen him before. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Bander Suffers We mourn the loss of our fellow member Dear readers, one of our dearly beloved friends here in Bandersnatch has moved on to a better place. The ever hard worker, Andrew Côté was once again sitting in the Production Room when the unbelievable happened. As he sat down to work, he accidentally knocked the printer known as Alice, as a severely traumatized Bandesnatch official has told us. “It was an accident! He didn’t mean it!” Well, it seems that was the accident that fried the Pentium motherboard, or something like that. Immediately, Mr. Cote was set upon by ‘Alice’. He managed to dodge the blow, but unknown to him, Evil Pentium, Evil Pentium X and the wax machine were in this vicious conspiracy. Pentiums held him down, with their cohorts, the mice. Just as the eyewitness thought it was over, the main computer sucked him in through its’ hard drive. “He didn’t stand a chance,” Ms. Anonymous said, “I tried to help, but it was so fast!” According to this statement, Alice paper-cutted Mr. Cote incessantly, the wax machine waxed his arms and legs, in the OPPOSITE direction, as the For some reason, God calls those who make a difference back early. As I needed proof to believe this calamity, I rushed off to the scene of the crime. I arrived, and carnage awaited me. Papers scattered everywhere spots of wax on the floor, with upon further inspection, hair of the victim. There were scattered blood drops and bloody papers too. The hardware were all back in their place, but where humming maliciously. All that was left of our friend was... his shoe. Scorpio You feel the sting of evil this month. Remember the 7 plagues of the Bible? Well, guess what, you pissed off the wrong higher-up this time, and their motto is ‘Vengeance is sweet!’To avert this fate, you will have to take on the task of taking the wandering Jehovahs into your home, and listen to every ones’ speech. Even if you do, the only people who will be attracted to you will be old church ladies, that keep pinching your *cough cough* cheeks. Aries You think you’re stubborn?Your new acquaintance will be worse than you are, winning arguments and then holding them over your head forever.And it will just keep getting worse for the rest of your life.As they say, “Life’s a bitch, than you marry one, then you die.” Cancer You have just been dumped into a pot of boiling water.After the initial hard work, you’ll make it through…then you’ll fall into the fire. This applies to everything in your life! Sucker! Capricorn You will be constantly stalked by a large French man with a cattle prod, and you will start giving off the odor of goat cheese.Your “urges” might become uncontrollable…around animals that is… Libra Just because your sign is neutral doesn’t mean that you won’t have problems.You will break out into a late version of acne, and creams won’t help. They will become infected, and spread over your entire body.After this initial anguish, you will be hit by a car because of your skin condition. Thrice.And still live. With your lumbar dislocated. Aquarius Asmalllightningstormwillfollow you around for 4 weeks, raining non-stop, making you fail all tests and homework. Just as it is about to clear, you will be struck by lightning and eaten by a sasquatch…no…TWO Sasquatches! Gemini You think these other people have it bad, well you’re in for double trouble! If you were Newton, and the apple fell on your head, it would have been the tree instead!You will be incapable of pick–up ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 3 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ slanderbatch HEALTH AND WELLNESS CENTRE ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ARE YOU SICK? Stay away! We forgot to get our flu shots this year, and we don’t want your germs, we have enough here already. FIRST SEMESTER STUDENTS JOHN ABBOTT COLLEGE Wednesday, December 3, 2003 Don't Try; Trying is the first step to failure Anonymous WORD OF THE DAY: Punane Drop by the Anime Club for the definition. ON CAMPUS HAVE YOU suffered burnout yet? You should have! If not, don’t worry, you have all of next semster. Trust us, no one gets out in one piece. Oh, and watch for Bill. He seems like a nice guy, but ever wonder why the hallways are less crowded after the first few weeks? Don’t be a victim! STUDENT EMPLOYMENT CENTRE AGORA HAPPENINGS THIS WEEK: Wed., Dec. 3 :Giant Banana Display Thurs., Dec. 4 :Erotic Poetry Reading Fri., Dec. 5 :Film: “The Virgin Suicides” 9:00 - 5:00 After 23h Class Time SPRING BREAK! Getting wrinkles is fun!! Join us on the white sand beaches of South Beach Miami, and help us seduce the Snow Birds. ID CARDS are needed if you want to go anywhere in life. Get yours today! If you don’t, we’ll just keep on reminding you until you do, you lazy bastards! CONDOMS! CONDOMS FOR ALL! Are you cheap? Unwilling to pay the extra cash for the latex baby stoppers? You’re in luck! It’s World AIDS day!! Cum learn about how to put on one of these delightable devices at the Giant Banana Display today! JACADEMICS NEW COURSE on how to take care of your Hobbit. Yes, those hairy little bastards need love and care, just like you do. For a course outline, check out: www.uglyhobbitsneedlove.org/jac/your/doom.html COME LOOK at our website. Obviously it has more use than we do. Oh well, at least WE have a job! SUJAC/CLUBS THE CHINESE CLUB would like to remind everyone that "Chinese" does not include people that are not actually Chinese. Foreigners, go away! UNJAC needs people now! Please, come help us, we can’t go to another conference without your brains. Mmmmmm..... Brains....... GAMERS: Need to get someone beaten up? Come to Gamers and ask about Mystery Fistage... PAGINGS Melanie, Brian, Zackery, Joyce, Ben, James, Cathrine, John, Jordan, Zeshan, Madeehoo, Selima, Jake, Nick, Lishinator, Harrold, Hanulah, Marie-Anne, Whitey, Pasty, Ben-David, and anyone named Chris. Please come to Student Activities to pick up your bus pass. STUDENT SERVICES LOST AND FOUND COUNSELLING LOST: Bandersnatch is still looking for last issue’s SUJAC Update. If found, return to sender. DROP INS: Mon. Tues. Wed. Thurs. Fri. Nope Nope Nope Closed for religious holiday Are you depressed yet? LOST: Barb is gone. Please, for God’s sake, somebody find her! FOUND: Cats. Lots of cats. Please take away before we get the needle! And no, YOU can't have them. You know who you are! PLEASE COME to see us, we need your advice on how to deal with you little putzes! We pay Abbott rates! 4 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ arts ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ What If Anne-Marie Staff Artist ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ There are no words What if Too many feelings… Mutual Blissful What if Like bluebirds What if Sightings & Cravings Emotional Suicide ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ i lie on my back looking at the sky my wrists laying at my side blood falling from their sides visions of the past as I close my eyes as a smile forms on my blood stained lips as my last thought is of you ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ over a grave i kneel head bent in silent prayer tears of blood falling from my cheeks staining this unmarked grave the grave of my silent emotional suicide ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ a goddess walks on toe tips, hovering over the still waters of a lake. her fiery red hair, a blaze catching the orange glow of the setting sun. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ And here I am, frozen in a moment in which I began to rise up on my feet and forgot the mechanisms behind motion, and the way my thoughts mesh with my joints. And as she walks triumphant, over the icy pool, the waters shiver from her power, her will. She turns round and round, summoning a storm to cleanse the earth of its sins unbound. and the wind whispers words of adoration to her.... The breeze comes soft at first, and glimpsing her in her dance, it does thirst. now joining her in a powerful ballad. The deity dances with the wind by her side and in the background the pines move and abide, shaking with laughter. Arms raised high, ○ ○ But I do love you, I repeated. She would have none of it; it was time to answer for my insecurities, and the lady who cannot help being pure would not look into my eyes. Her gaze rested a few millimeters underneath my eyelid, grazing my eyelashes and softly laughing. I doubt she was inducing me in a fit of mockery, however, because as her hands laid tightly around my waist: I thought I would never need to stand on my own alone. A deity dances, in the light of the moon, the rays lighting her powder blue eyes and giving the milk white skin a fantasy bluish tint. Smokey eyes, empty and sullen, her expression is one of far off dreaming and suffering. ○ ○ Deity of Fire Tina da Morada Contributor Tristen Gratten Contributor ○ ○ ○ Patrick Colle Staff Writer What if it wasn’t meant to be What if it’s never you and me What if Love ends Love misspends Like a clumsy mistake What if another heartbreak ○ ○ ○ Vivaciously Repined But What if Love so strong What if Love’s so wrong What if What if What if Like Romeo and Juliet What if A fatal duet ○ ○ randomness Naila Jinnah Sports Editor ○ ○ Theme: Fallen ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 13 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ arts ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ False Angel ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Editors Note: There was a slight mix-up.. ok a large one. The part of this story given last week was the final one.. not the second. Hope you kept the issue! Sorry for the inconvienience! Chris :P Shannon Snyder Contributor ○ ○ Flights of Fantasy Part 2 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Kathleen Stanhope Staff Writer ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ That night I dreamt of flying over the city, dancing in the snow with wondrous creatures straight out of any fairie tale, magical enough to put Disney to shame. The next day was dull and gray, no snow, and that night no dreams of wonder. The next few days were much the same, get up, go to work and help supercilious little girls find books about proper tea time etiquette. I’m a librarian by the way, at a small girls finishing school, who knew they still existed, let alone here? Needless to say it’s all very practical no ‘flights of fantasy’ there. After work I would go home and look for my snow devil and not find it. Then about a week after my first ‘sighting’ when I was no longer looking for it and had almost convinced myself that mother might be right, I saw it. It was there on the same roof top as before. If possible it was even more wonderful than last time. A swirling vortex of diamond bright snow crystals, a whirling winter rainbow, dancing, weaving across the roof top, at once careening wildly out of control, and sedately meandering along. As I watched a shape began to form in the heart of the spiraling snow. Slowly it grew in definition, until I could see that it was human like in form. Tantalizing it would draw closer giving glimpses of what hid in the snow, and then it would move away frustrating my attempts to fathom its depths. I was under a spell, unable to move or look away, it could have been hours, days, eternity, I didn’t care. Not until the door bell rang. Startled I turned towards the door, fogy like waking from a dream, I answered the door. No I did NOT want a life time subscription to ‘Home and Garden’, when I turned back it was gone. The dreams were even more incredible that night than they had been before, and lasted longer. This time it was two nights before they went away, and I was back in my now dull and dreary seeming life. I was a little alarmed that something as simple as a snow eddy could evoke such feelings of wonderment, and joy, watching it was blissful, almost what one would call a ‘religious experience’. It was so perfectly peaceful, so amazingly soul deep profound that I could not imagine anything better. It was almost like a state of ecstasy, something that if shared with the world, it would solve all problems it would end all fighting… The Violinist ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Tina da Morada Contributor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ the passion that the plucked notes evoke in me burns as if he himself is the devil. he pours forth his soul with emaculate tempo intertwining every ounce of his life into the musical entity. the violin sings, feeding off the flames of his fire, leaving him empty when alone. it’s voice sends shivers uncontrolled down the listeners skin. how i would give anything to be one with the melody as he and be able to place into simple notes, the emotions that have overcome me. oh how his music recalls it’s long life with the determination that drips from his fingers, his forehead. and how the sounds of it’s tale enter into your empty body filling each crevice with the intense feelings.. the violin using man to bring mournful tears or to create a savage angered dance. the violinist curse for he is to love only his instrument for what else could create such beauty. 14 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ It would be idolized; it would be placed on a pedestal and worshiped, it would be misunderstood, it would be feared, it would be destroyed. It would lose all meaning, it would become a fad. I had no desire to share my special wonder with anyone else, not that they would believe me. After all, if I did share, it would invariably get back to my mother, as she seems to know everyone in the whole world, and that was one conversation I did not want to have. So my snow devil stayed just that, mine. To be continued… Pixels ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Lucky Spencer Contributor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ entertainment ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ E n t e r t a i n m e n t with Karen Gelsthorpe ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Weird, but is it Good? ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ of music. I don’t even know what genre it is. It is definitely not Rock, Pop, or C-Rap. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Reggae either, though who can really be sure. I can, because I actually listened to it, and it definitely wasn’t Reggae, or Bluegrass for that matter. If I had to say something, I would have to say that it was Soft-Rockesque, but that would be kinda like saying that Steak is Pizzaesque. So I really can’t say what it is. Just listen to it, you’ll either like it or dislike it, or think that it is some kind of alien message. Who can really be sure? All I can really say was that I enjoyed listening to it, and that it was an interesting use of my time. Would I say that its been a waste? No, I wouldn’t think so. Just something that I wouldn’t have bought with my own money, Janet Nardella Contributor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ When I first heard the CD, I found it quite strange. I’ve a very open taste in music, so if you’re looking for a review that would be biased, then this is not for you. To first introduce you to the CD, it was called “Lost Sides” by the group “Doves”. I popped the CD into my player and sat down on my bed to listen to the enchanting music held within the plastic disk. The first track was very strange, it was an instrumental, it reminded me a lot of the group called Boards of Canada. The next track actually had lyrics. To be honest, I don’t remember any of them, but I found them to be quite interesting. As the CD rolled on, I listened to track after track, and was mesmerized by the music. It was very relaxing and enjoyable. It is not to everybody’s taste, but I think many people could learn to enjoy this genre which doesn’t mean I’m telling you not to buy it with your own money. Because downloading music is evil! Speaking of which, that was one of the first things I noticed about this CD. When I opened up the jewel case there was a little leaflet that fell out. It was a thank you for having actually bought music. Guess what, it was f r o m “keepmusiccoming.com”. I haven’t even gone to the site, but the title just gives it away I guess. People like that just make me want to download music even more, just to spite them. Besides, who can really justify paying 25$ for a CD nowadays? It only takes like MAYBE $0.50 to make the bloody thing, and they sell it for 19.99$ plus taxes. What kind of turn around is that? Someone is getting the Royal Screw-job, and I’m thinking that it is probably us consumers. Maybe I should start talking about the CD again... So yeah, it was pretty good, you might want to go out and buy it, if that REALLY is your kinda thing. Or download it, but for legal reasons, you realize I can’t condone that kind of action. Sigh. To give it a rating, I’d give it seven on ten. 7/10 for people that aren’t familiar with numbers being written as words. Anyhow, this isn’t what I had had in mind for this review, but I think it works, and I’m going to go with it. I might try writing another review at another time, but for now I’ll leave you with this. If you do want to find out more about this unheard of group, they actually have a website: www.doves.net You might actually be able to find something out about them. At least more than I know about them. Which is NOTHING! Win!!!! Donnie Darko = Great ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ scared, its just the implications of the movie. Its’ ending was just so... very weird. I will keep saying this, “My mind has been blown away! And I don’t know when it will come back.” I stopped shaking about, 16 hours after the movie. Christoper Deslauriers Arts Editor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Well, this week there is some good news! I’m going to talk about the movie ‘Donnie Darko’, in my opinion, a great movie! It fits into a suspense type movie, sort of like the ‘Sixth Sense’, but much better! Rated R, for its’ language, I think its’ just a little too harsh. There is a star studded cast here, with Patrick Swayze, Noah Wyle(ER) and others I’m too lazy The movie is about a paranoid schizophrenic, Donnie Darko (played by Jake Gyllenhaal) who seems to be having a rather rough time lately. The movie takes place in October, 1988. He has started seeing things, even though he is on medication. One of his recurring visions is seeing a man, clad in a bunny suit with a VERY frightening and sinister bunny mask. The rabbit, named Frank, tells him to do stuff, and Donnie willingly complies. to talk about. The acting done in the movie was awesome. I think they all played their parts wonderfully, especially Donnie. He had the ‘nut job’ act down pat, even the insane laugh! His acting made chills go up my spine. Donnie is the primary character, and the rest of the actors seem to fade into the background, slightly helping the plot. This is a really strange movie, for one, I nearly could not get up the stairs, since I wasn’t able to stop shaking so badly. I wasn’t ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Win passes to see the phenominal movie House of Sand and Fog Wednesday December 10th at 7pm at the eatons center downtown. (705 rue StCatherine). Drop off your ballot at the Bandersnatch office H-041 by Tuesday December 9th so we can contact you The movie is overall well done, the setting is realistic, and the situations in the movie are completely probable. There are a few comic moments during the movie. One of my favourite moments was the theory about the Smurfs, the little blue people, remember them? Donnie is also incredibly intelligent, and makes people look stupid, it’s fun to watch! Name:_______________ Phone:_______________ Email:________________ Be warned, if you get headaches while pondering the workings of the universe and the theories about them, like time travel, do not watch this movie. I had a really difficult time making sense of the movie cause it must be watched several times to be completely understood. I believe the movie is meant to mean something. I think I understand now. This movie has altered my perception of reality big time. I really think you all should go out and see it! I think I give this movie a 9.5 on 10! Three cheers for the schizo! So, till next semester, have fun! 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 15 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ entertainment ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Barenaked Ladies the Next Dylan ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Another postcard, which has so invaded the monkey-obsessed minds of music listeners everywhere, is an enigma. I have inspected it quite closely, thought about it for some time, and decided that the songs deeper meaning, its hidden message, is about.... Monkeys. I am honestly quite sure this song is just about monkeys, and specifically monkeys on postcards. It’s heartening to see that BNL hasn’t succumbed to the urge to become overly serious. They can still cut lose and have fun. That being said, they can do the serious stuff as well as anyone. War on Drugs is one of the most moving and emotional songs about suicide I have ever heard. It contains a dose of the lyricism of classic poet songwriters such as Leonard Cohen, or Bob Dylan that is so notably absent in most contemporary bands. As bizarre as that may seem to say about a band like BNL, I swear its true. You have to hear it to see. The languid sadness of the delivery is heart wrenching, dragging the listener into the mood of Benjamin Wald Assistant-Editor-in-Chief ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ When I purchased the new Bare Naked Ladies CD for myself, as a two month late birthday present to myself on behalf of my brother, I hadn’t actually heard the much discussed monkey song that has saturated the airwaves. My radio at home is tragically disabled, and I have felt horribly isolated from all popular music. However, being an ardent fan of the group’s earlier efforts, I was anxious to hear this newest creation. The songs on this CD vary widely in seriousness and quality. It contains some of their wackiest songs since If I had A Million Dollars, as well as some very serious takes on suicide and relationships, although all the songs have the signature BNL oddness. It has some of the best songs I have ever heard from BNL, as well as some songs I am forced to skip through each time they come up. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ An excellent movie for those who have opened minds and are willing to take a step into a darker world, and those of you who already have the basics down when it comes to vampires and werewolf lore. The battle between lycanthrop and vampire has been waging for centuries, and it’s finally coming to a conclusion, the story is told from the over all point of view of both sides. Filled with ancient customs and new aged technology, both the vampires and werewolves increase their warring and destructive capabilities to fight their enemies, in this case each other. The system in the story depicting the vampire hierarchy is impressive, and intuitive. This movie will even satisfy those white-wolf table top gamers who follow vampire lore to a T, it is mixed with classic white-wolf lore and completely new ideals, coming up with a winning combination. The introduction of the abomination is outstanding, half wolf, half vampire the character is portrayed beautifully. The mix of science 16 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Despite all it has going for it, there are still some disappointments. Some of the songs fall more then a little short. Shopping, for example, is dull, repetitive, trite and predictable. Celebrity is barely better. All in all there are ○ into the picture to enhance weapons, (including everything from silver nitrate ammunition to enhanced phosperous rounds), although used often in vampiric flicks, gives this film an edge. The film also uses the classic vocabulary to describe vampiric age, Methuselah, Elder ecetera. For all of those hard core vampire fans to the everyday regular Joe, everyone will appreciate this movie if they have a liking of the occult. To learn new things and to just get a first jab into this newly explored world, although vampire films have been in great abundance recently, this film brushes on a brand new genre in the film world, it strays away from the classical Anne Rice films and shows the, less romantic beauty of the kindred and lycanthrop side, focusing more on the darker, mystic beauty of these night creatures. In a world of darkness where the perfection of immortality and death, shape shifting and pain are depicted in a raw beauty seldom, if ever shown in this type of film. In short, this is a movie for everyone to enjoy, well… anyone not to faint of heart anyway. Danny Beaulieu Contributor Although there is something of a dichotomy in the quality of the songs, more so then on their previous albums, the average quality remains the same. The good songs on this album more then justify the purchase price. If you’ve felt the lack of witty, intelligent lyrics in music lately, this is just the thing for you. Likewise, if so called serious songs are getting to be too much for you lately, give this CD a try. All around an excellent buy. In The Zone? Underworld ○ about four songs on this CD that I skip past more often then not. Not a terrible ratio, perhaps, but there is still room for improvements. The main problem with the songs I disliked is the obvious, predictable subject matter. It is devoid of the usual spark of wit and the sense of a new perspective on things that Bare Naked Ladies so effectively conveys in their better songs. Could it be (shudder) that they are actually running out of ideas? Let us pray that it is not so. the suicidal girl, and the singer’s memory of her. The mix of the tragic and the absurd is omnipresent, with lines such as; “Near my house there’s a viaduct/ Where people jump when there out of luck/ Raining down on the cars and trucks below.” What else can be said? Pure genius. This song alone is worth the price of the CD. This is far from the only good song on the CD, although none of the others reach the emotional heights of War on Drugs. From the fun of songs like Maybe Katie (What’s so maybe about/ What’s so maybe about/ What’s so maybe about/ Katie?) to the more serious, like Upside down, to a mix of the two, like Aluminum, this CD has something for everyone. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ music is actually mind numbing. If you actually try to sit through the whole album by the end the songs have all melded and you won’t be able to decipher one track from another. It kind off reminds me of the music they play in the background of the stoner scenes in cheesy teenage movies. The background music sounds entirely electronic, don’t worry kids, no actually music here. Karen Gelsthorpe Entertainment Editor ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ The new Britney Spears album “In the Zone” is quite possibly the worst album I’ve ever had the misfortune of stumbling across. This album sounds like hiphop meets techno meets dance in a collision of styles that were not quite mixed properly. If Britney’s old music was marketed to twelveyear-old girls, than this album is marketed to hip-hop wannabees that have no clue what actual hip-hop is meant to be. If the intent was to make her seem more grown up than I find that they failed. Singing only in soft, high pitched, “sexy” tones for a total of thirteen mindnumbing tracks Now in Britney’s defense I did manage to find three WHOLE songs I like. Sadly this is not exactly an entirely redeeming statement. Also this album would be fun to dance to a song here or there in a club environment. This is not an album designed for every day listening, or even house parties. Plus, I generally try to avoid albums hyped by lesbian kissing between Britney and Madonna, followed by the release of the single (has Britney ever fallen far). Think J-Lo, subtract the variety and the class and you’ve got this album. In fact when looking at the cover art I’m almost possible I’ve seen J-Lo in that same pose and in almost the same clothes. Speaking of the cover art on the exterior of this album Britney is featured eight times, each sporting approximately the same “attractive” expression. Some one needs to explain to dear Britney that just staring at the camera devoid of emotion does not qualify as a unique expression, plus I’m almost positive they used the same picture twice, either that or she’s a robot. Britney sold out her original fans too make this album. Unbeknownst to the rest of us is the reason that she’s decided this crap is more grown up, and sadly once again for Britney to look more grown up, more clothes have come off. This shameless sales mongering brings nothing new to the table, but pseudo-hip-hop is in style right now. I get this feeling that if spiritual or folk music came back in style Britney would jump on that bandwagon too. Anything to make a dollar or two. Now on to the actual music, this ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ sports ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Habs: Changes or No Playoff Run ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ The Habs kicked off the regular schedule with an impressive start. Collecting 5 wins in the first 7 games, the Habs seemed like they finally played with their full potential. Offence was rolling, Julien’s defensive system was working well and everything looked well in Montreal. All this took a turn for the worse in the following weeks: losing 6 games out of their next 8 games, the Canadiens showed a complete breakdown in every one of their assets. During this collapse, Montreal played over three games without scoring a goal, the numbers of shots from the opposition rarely went below 30 a game, and quite frankly, the Canadiens played like they didn’t belong to the NHL. Youssef Lahkmiri Staff Writer ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ The NHL season progressed past its quarter mark, and already the Montreal Canadiens are faced with adversity. A disappointing record of 9-11-1-1 tells it all, and the casual Habs fan is only left with doubt and despair at the sight of yet another early exit. However, this time the poor performance of this team is not due to injuries or talent-depleted rosters. No, the Canadiens can make the playoffs this year -or at least says GM Bob Gainey. But, why isn’t this showing at the rink? Perhaps a look back at the Canadiens’ early going will enlighten this puzzling matter... The Habs never fully recov- ered from this bad stretch, struggling to pull itself over .500 and ending the first quarter mark of the season with only 20 points. As a result, the Habs have a lot of issues to address, and dealing with them will be key to a good start to the second quarter. Here are a few that strike to mind almost immediately... Perhaps the biggest worry for the Habs right now is their offensive output. In 22 games, they have scored 46 goals, one of the fewest totals in the league. Keep in mind that 20 of these goals were scored in the first 7 games of the season. The forwards of this team are simply not producing enough; players like Audette, who only have 3 goals this year, or Sundstrom, who only lit the lamp once this season. Last year, Saku Koivu was the Canadien’s scoring leader with 71 points. This year, he is yet to record a goal. Given the contracts of these players, their play needs radical improvement. Last but certainly not least, the team needs to cut down on shots per game from the opposition. In the last 5 games, the Canadiens allowed 191 shots, which comes out to an average of 38 shots per game. This ridiculous amount of shots spell disaster for a team whose goaltender still hasn’t regained his Vezina form. Don’t get me wrong here; Josee Theodore hasn’t played poorly, but he hasn’t played great either. But this is not the only worry for the Canadiens. Even with the addition of enforcers like Gordie Dwyer and Darren Langdon to the team at the beginning at the season, Montreal is still considered a soft team. They’ve also received criticism for general lack of effort on the ice. If you must know, Craig Rivet has become the favorite target for this matter. If the Habs want to succeed, they need to display the same grit and intensity they showed during the first 7 games of the season. As, you’ve surely noticed, the Habs have tons of improvement to make. But before giving up hope on your favorite hockey club, remember that the season is still young, and come May 2004, we might very well be in the playoffs. But that’s going to require a hell of a record from here on! Ed's Note Last issue! Yey! without pictures? What is there to say that I haven't already said? Maybe you're a fan of sports that are less mainstream in Canada: Extreme sports, Europeen Football, skiing, boxing, vollyeball, surfing...It's up to you to make sure your favorite sport is represented in YOUR school paper. If you've never seen an article on your sport in Bandersnatch, maybe you should stop whining and start writing. Because that's all we really want: WRITERS! We're not weird, we're not overachievers or perfectionists... We're nice, "normal" people, just like you. And we don't bite. Well, not hard. If you're tired with the same old topics being discussed in the Sports Section, then do something about it! Send us your comments and/or suggestions at [email protected], Why not even submit an article or two? You don't need to be a Staff Writer to submit. There are no strings attached to a submission. In fact, we don't even expect a second submission, although we'd never turn it down! I've heard Abbott Sports Team Members complain about how they're never featured in the sports section. Unfortunately, we don't have staff, and it's impossible for one person to attend all the sporting events, let alone all of them at once. Why not get a teammate or a friend to write a little something about your accomplishments? You can even include photos. I mean, what's a Sports Section 18 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ So let's all get over Finals without failing too many classes, and maybe next semester, the Banderstnach e-mail will be full of submissions on interesting topics. And hey! If you own a business or know someone who'd like to promote theirs, why not place an ad in the paper? Till next time... ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Ah... Good old issue 7! COOL QUOTE: Defensemen Eric Weinrich on former New Jersey Devils teammate Scott Stevens approaching the 40years-old benchmark: "He’s quite a machine. Incredibly fit. Best on the team. If he played 25 minutes a night, he’d go into the coach and say, ‘I’m not playing enough, I need to play more.’" HERITAGE RECAP: Last weekend’s MegaStars game between alumni from the Edmonton Oilers and Montreal Canadiens outdoors at Commonwealth Stadium was so well-received by the capacity crowd of 57,167 on hand, as well as the players involved, that thoughts immediately turned to an encore. Some suggestions include a rematch at the Big O, and the Winter Olympic Games. JAGRRRRRRR: The Washington Capitals are still trying to liquidate their huge salaries, and one of them is Jaromir Jagr. Washington is apparently willing to assume $20 million of the $45 million guaranteed Jagr is owed on his contract beginning next season, where he to be traded to the ever-so-rich New York Rangers. Apparently, the Detroit Red Wings are also interested in a similar deal. loosing streak by beating the Los Angeles Kings with a 6-4 score. OVERTIME EFFORT: Is it just me, or does every overtime period end up being the most exciting 5 minutes of the game? Just last Saturday, the Montreal Canadiens and the Florida Panthers fought for a 1-1 tie, which was mostly due to an amazing performance by the goalies, and fluke goals on both ends. Sure, there were incredible saves and fun rushes, but nothing really happened until AFTER both teams got their point. I wonder what would happen if the NHL gave 1 point for just showing up... maybe the WHOLE game would be exciting. MEAN STREAK: The AHL’s Hamilton Bulldogs have set yet another record. Saturday night’s 3-1 victory versus the Rochester Amerks consisted of Hamilton’s eighth consecutive victory on home ice, setting a new franchise record. The Bulldogs, the Montreal Canadiens’ farm team, is 14-81-1 so far this season, a record that is earning them the first spot in their division. NAGY TRADITION: No, not Arpad from CF. Ladislav Nagy added his name to an unusual American Thanksgiving tradition for the Phoenix Coyotes last Thursday. Nagy recorded his first career hat trick as Phoenix snapped a three-game bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ So this is our last issue this semester... but it’s not like that means less work! Study, study, study... and watch hockey! It’s time for all of us to give our own overtime effort. See you all next semester! ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ sports ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ scoreboard WOMEN’S HOCKEY DEFEATS MARIE-VICTORIN On Saturday night the Lady Islanders notched their sixth win of the season defeating the Trappeurs de MarieVictorin by a score of 5-2. Playing their best hockey of the season, the 65-0 Lady Isles have won 3 game sin a row and are now tied for 5th place and will host 4th place Brebeuf (6-7-0) on Friday night at the Macdonald arena. BASKETBALL MONTMORENCY On Sunday the John Abbott College women’s volleyball competed in their 4th league tournament at Vanier. The Lady Isles entered the tournament no longer as the number one seed due to their performance the previous tournament and were looking to regain the throne. The day started with a match against a revamped team from Bois de Boulogne. Unfortunately for the Abbott team, the early morning match got the better of them and they lost the match 2-0. They had a match break to wake themselves up before playing the rest of the games and entered their next 3 matches on fire and defeated Mont. Laurier in 2 and both St. Jean and Ahuntsic in 3. ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ AT The John Abbott basketball teams traveled to Laval on Sunday to challenge the Nomades from Montmorency. The Lady Isles battled the unbeaten Nomades, ranked number 1 in Canada, for nearly 40 minutes but came up short 77-61. The teams were tied at 33 at half time before the Lady Isles ran into foul trouble in the second half. Point guard Rikki Bowles led the way with 13 points, Catherine Parent had 11 points and 8 rebounds and Tiffany Hunting chipped in 9 points. In men’s action the Islanders struggled in a 95-68 loss. Jason Ratchelous had a season high 29 points and Alex McCooeye had 9 rebounds. Star performances were turned in by Marie-France Chartier who had 29 kills, 14 digs, 9 stuff blocks and 2 aces; Gabrielle Heroux had 16 kills, 20 digs, 5 aces and a serve reception ratio of 2.2, Sofia Marques had 15 kills, 10 digs and 8 stuff blocks, Veronique Riopel had 13 digs and 7 kills and Jacky Hertner had 10 kills and 6 digs. Setter Patricia Riopel had an exceptional day, not only setting the ball, but also added 9 kills, 4 aces, 4 stuff blocks, 13 digs and a 50% kill ratio to the stat sheet. ○ Offensively the Islanders could only muster 86 yards on the ground and 104 in the air, good enough for 9 first downs. Meanwhile, the Vulkins had 372 yards on the ground, 146 in the air and they had 21 first downs. The all-stars will be presented with their awards on Saturday, December 7 at the first annual league evaluation camp hosted by College AndreGrasset. WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL 3-1 IN 4th TOURNAMENT ○ The Islander football team had 4 players named to the league all-star team. Selected unanimously by the coaches were middle linebacker Tom Kuchiran and cornerback Steven Holness. Kuchiran was second in the league in tackles with 73.5 and Holness led the league with 7 interceptions for 155 return yards and a touchdown. Lineman Philip-Patrick Lalonde was the only player on the offense selected to the team. Lalonde is a graduate of the Lakeshore Cougars program and was a rookie with the Islanders this season. Clement and Lalonde will both be back next season with the Islanders. In the third period the Lady Islanders played solid defensive hockey and kept possession with excellent passing as the game wound down. Later during a late penalty to Marie Victorin the power play failed to score but Lisa Agozzino managed to seal the win with an unassisted empty-netter for her thirteenth goal of the season to make it 5-2. ○ ished the season 7-5. Louis-Pierre Clement was also named to the defensive all-star team at the defensive back position. A captain on the defense, he was10th in the league in tackles with 44.5 and 3rd in interceptions with 4 for 51 return yards. Vanessa Davidson opened the scoring early in the first period after a nifty pass from Mary Maglieri. Julie Dumoulin tied up the game before Lisa Agozzino made it 2-1 with assists from Myrianne Chailler and Maglieri. In the second period Maglieri scored two goals within five minutes and could easily have had a third except for the fine work of Catherine Boulay in the Marie Victorin net. Assists on the goals came from Lindsay LubellSmith, Bianca Chartrand and Vanessa Davidson. ○ FOOTBALL ALL-STARS ISLANDER FOOTBALL SEASON ENDS In shocking fashion the Islander football season came to a sudden end on Saturday as the Vulkins from Victoriaville overwhelmed the Islanders 50-0. The Vulkins, who took advantage of the windy conditions and a flat John Abbott team, led 21-0 at half time and 36-0 after three quarters. The Vulkins had the wind in both the second and third quarters and during that time scored 36 points. The defending BOL D’OR champions fin○ ○ kills, 5 stuff blocks, 2.33 reception ratio, 69% kills, and an incredible 54% hitting efficiency, Mathieu Pariseau had 22 kills and 4 aces Alex Cayer added 4 aces and 6 stuff blocks, Brian Gariepy had 4 stuff blocks to go with his 100% serving day and libero Steve Fournier filled in admirably as a power hitter. Running back Alex Bussandri carried the ball 16 times for 57 yards and JeanFrancois RicherDesjardins had 4 catches for 68 yards. The Islanders used 3 quarterbacks and each of them had 2 completions. Starter Kevin Solarik completed 2 of 9 passes for 58 yards and an interception, Ryan Kastner 2 of 9 for 31 yards and Mike McNair 2 of 6 for 15 yards. TENNIS The Islander tennis team lost 8-7 to rival Brebeuf yesterday. Although it is the 3rd close loss of the season for the defending provincial champs, the results show that the Islanders are poised to compete at that the provincial championships on December 8th. The men’s side won 3 of 4 matches led by their top player JF Talbot. Jean Francois won 6-2, 6-4 playing 1st singles. Julien Grimard lost a close 2-6,63,6-4 match playing 2nd singles. In doubles, Abbott won both matches in straight sets. Team captain Rob D’amico and Fabian Bogazzi won 64,6-3 playing 1st doubles, while the team of John Franquet and Seb Alovisi took second doubles 6-4,6-2. Defensively the Islanders missed their leading tackler, middle linebacker Tom Kuchiran, who sat out the game with an injury. Scott McMillan led the Isles with 12 tackles; Tomas Gauthier had 9 and Louis-Pierre Clement 6. Clement and Justin Mongeon each had a fumble recovery. On the women’s side, # 1 singles players Stephanie Eckerth lost 6-1,6-1 while rookie Meagan Ivanowski fought hard but was also on the losing end of a 6-1,6-1 score. The women’s doubles team of Stephanie Petizian and Maria Rosak took a 6-1,6-1 loss. WOMEN’S HOCKEY WINS OVER LEVIS-LAUZONPaced by two goals from Vanessa Davidson the Lady Islanders came up with a solid 5-1 win over the Faucons de Levis-Lauzon at Macdonald Arena. The win moves John Abbott ahead of Levis-Lauzon in the standings. Other goal scorers were Lisa Agozzino assisted by Bianca Chartrand and Mary Maglieri, Donna Ringrose unassisted and Lindsay Deliva assisted by Bianca Chartrand. BASKETBALL DOUBLEHEADER The John Abbott basketball teams dropped a doubleheader to unbeaten Dawson at home on Friday night. Marie-Eve Poliquin had 13 points and Catherine Parent had 12 for the 2-3 Lady Islanders in a 65-50 loss to the Lady Blues who led 24-20 at half time. Ariella Klieman had 14 saves in goal and was only beaten by a wicked shot from Melanie Potvin in the first period. The Lady Islanders looked particularly good in the third period with some great passing especially on the power play. Kelly Feehan, Gaby RoySavard, Lisa Agozzino and Mimi Chailler assisted on Vanessa D’s goals. Poliquin had a team high 9 rebounds and 5 steals and Parent had 8 rebounds. The men were only down 34-33 at half time but were outscored 46-24 in the second half and lost 80-57. Jason Ratchelous led the way with 18 points and had 5 threes. Nickolas Pronovost chipped in 13 points and Mark Nixon added 12. Nigel Peters was high rebounder with 9. MEN’S VOLLEYBALL MOVES BACK TO D-1 The Islander volleyball team competed in their 3rd league tournament on Sunday at Cegep Ahuntsic. After moving down from division 1 after the last tournament, the team was out to prove that they belonged in the top division. The boys played a terrific tournament dropping only 2 sets to a talented team from Champlain. With a record of 3-1, they will now move back up to Division 1 for the next tournament. OTHER SCORES Tennis 6 St-Lambert 9 JAC swim team won the 3rd meet of the year JOHN ABBOTT IN ACTION THIS WEEK DATE TIME OPPONENT Fri., Nov. 28 8:00pm StLambert at men’s basketball 8:10pm Brebeuf at women’s hockey Sun., Nov. 30 9:00am Men’s volleyball tournament at St-Lambert 1:00pm Tennis at Victoriaville Outstanding performers in the tournament were Sandy Thomson with 38 2003-12-03 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 19 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ sports ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Sport Shots Australia’s Mark Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Tim Philippoussis collapses to the court as Wansley (31) brings down New York he wins his match against Spain’s Giants’ running back Brian Mitchell (30) Juan Carlos Ferrero to clinch the Davis during NFL action in Tampa, Florida, Cup final for Australia, in Melbourne November 24, 2003. The Buccaneers November 30, 2003. Philippoussis won edged the New York Giants 19-13 in an in five sets 7-5 6-3 1-6 2-6 6-0 to give error-filled match-up Monday to keep Australia a their slim 3-1 win in the playoff series. Part of the Olympic stadium with the hopes alive. glass-and-steel structure is reflected in Athens, Monday, Dec. 1, 2003. Spanish Montreal Canadians goalie Jose architect Santiago Calatrava, after Theodore wears a touque on top of his touring the stadium complex, assured mask to stay warm under freezing organizers that his glass-and-steel roof temperatures during the NHL heritage over the main stadium will be classic against the Edmonton Oilers completed in time. November 22, 2003 in Edmonton’s Commonwealth stadium. Over 55,000 people attended the first ever NHL game played outside. 20 ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson Washington Capitals’ Ivan Ciernik acts like he is praying after being collides with Montreal Canadiens’ called for turning over the ball against goalie Mathieu Garon behind the the Detroit Pistons during second Canadiens’ goal, during third period quarter NBA action last week in NHL action in Montreal's 5-3 victory at Philadelphia. the MCI Center last Friday. bandersnatch ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○