voices of hope - Parents of Murdered Children

April 2012
V OICES OF HOPE
For the families and friends of those who have died by violence
Parents Of Murdered Children-MN Hope Chapter, PO Box 516, Circle Pines, MN 55014
pomc.com [email protected] 651-245-6195 or 651-484-0336
Minnesota POMC Meetings Schedule
POMC National Headquarters
National Organization of POMC, Inc
Executive Director, Nancy Ruhe
100 East Eighth Street, Suite 202
Cincinnati, OH 45202
Phone: 888-818-POMC
Fax: 513-345-4489
Email: [email protected]
Online: www.pomc.com
Why we are here…
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
To provide ongoing emotional support needed to help
parents and other survivors deal with the pain of their
loss and facilitate the reconstruction of their lives.
To provide contact with similarly bereaved persons and
establish self-help groups that meet regularly.
To provide information about the grief process and the
criminal justice system as they pertain to survivors of a
homicide victim.
To communicate with professionals about the problems
faced by those surviving a homicide victim.
To increase society’s awareness of the problems faced by
survivors.
Minneapolis/St. Paul Hope Chapter
3rd Friday of Month
512 S Albert St., St. Paul
7:00-9:00pm
Holy Spirit Ministry Center located off Randolph Ave and
Albert St across from Holy Spirit Church. Meetings held in the
library located on the 2nd floor. Handicap accessible. Look for
POMC signs. Questions contact Jim Lym @ 651-484-0336 or
email at [email protected]
Central Minnesota Meetings
Contact Vicky Bolin @ 612.385.4336 for time and place
information.
Southeast Minnesota Meetings
4th Tuesday of Month
th
st
18 Ave & 41 St NW, Rochester
7:00-9:00pm
Pax Christi Catholic Church, Rm 5 to the right of the double
door entrance, lower level on west side of church. Questions
contact: Connie @ 507-358-4017 or
Lois @ 507-367-4646
More info at www.semnpomc.com
We’d like to hear from you!
If you have any questions, comments, or ideas for Voices of
Hope, please let us know.
Contact us either by emailing the newsletter editor at
[email protected]
or by mail to our P.O. Box.
Moving??? Please let us know to keep you on
the mailing list
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. is a self-help support organization for families
and friends who have lost a loved one to violence.
“Membership” is open to those who have been cruelly bereaved by the murder of a loved one. Professionals who are in frequent
contact with grieving families are also welcome to join.
This project was supported by the Office for Victims of Crime, US Department of Justice. Points of view in this document are those of
the author and do not necessarily represent the official position or policy of the US Department of Justice
Page 1
Page 2
Voices Of Hope
April
Anniversaries
Name
Joe McKinney
Dave Shock
Gary Bolstad
Gretchen A Mayer
Loyde William Mincks
Tammi Jo Shappell
Nancy Ellen Bishop-Langert
Richard Alexander Langert
Margaret Ann Bohn
Myra L Adams
Donald O'Neill Glasgow
Michelle Lyann Winter
Michael Lee Sargent
Taylor Louise Rabideau
Bonnie Guthrie
Jennifer Johnson
John Walter Elmore
Michael Combs
Madilyne Wentz
Marlys Ione Crawley
Gabriel Gonzales
Scott M Campbell
Justin Eli Alt
Moses Laron Christian
Cally Jo Larson
Mindy Lynn Berentson
Crystal Ann Berentson
Ruth Ann Berentson
Heidi Marie Berentson
Rick Brenizer
Joshua Pocock
Kathleen French-Balmaseda
Arthur Walace Peterson
Sean O'Brien
Rebecca Lynn Ruppert
Hector Manuel Vazquez
Kimberly Lynette Coleman
Gil Bukrinsky
Michael Coleman
Toni Ann Bachman
Shemeka Lott
Mariah Madison Flaskerud
Natosha Katrina Flaskerud
Cindi Ann Schram
Anthony James Basta
Justin Wesley Smiley
Richard T Bender
Brandon Mann
Jade Harmony Moore
Lewis James Wilczek
Robert Joseph McGinnis
Lived Until
April 1, 1994
April 1, 1994
April 2, 1996
April 4, 1989
April 5, 2002
April 6, 1986
April 7, 1990
April 7, 1990
April 7, 1996
April 7, 1998
April 8, 1994
April 8, 1995
April 10, 1995
April 10, 2004
April 11, 1984
April 12, 1982
April 12, 1989
April 14, 1994
April 14, 2005
April 15, 1987
April 16, 2005
April 17, 1982
April 19, 1998
April 20, 1998
April 20, 1999
April 22, 1991
April 22, 1991
April 22, 1991
April 22, 1991
April 22, 1991
April 22, 1995
April 23, 1987
April 23, 1994
April 23, 1998
April 24, 1994
April 24, 1995
April 25, 1987
April 25, 1995
April 25, 1995
April 25, 1997
April 25, 2003
April 25, 2004
April 25, 2004
April 26, 1990
April 26, 2000
April 26, 2005
April 28, 1992
April 28, 1995
April 28, 1996
April 29, 2007
April 30, 1998
Birthdays
Name
Clarence Raymond Paulson
Vincent Joseph Grazioli
Rita Hogendorf
Jerri Ann Matteson
Jessica Lynn Turner
Script Henderson
Rachel M Jones
Sidney L Roberts III
Todd Allan Mimbach
Justin Eli Alt
Jesse Alvarez Jerr
Lyle Philblad
Marjorie Amundson
Kathleen French-Balmaseda
Gary Robert Daniels
Diane Brom
Bliss Ursula Verdon
Linda Erickson Shoebottom
Robert Paul Nachtsheim
Michelle Marie Hartfiel
Brian David Klinefelter
Richard T Bender
Byron Earl Pruitt
Matthew Marc Sterlow
Michelle Lynn Andrews
Erika Marie Dalquist
Steven Paul Olberding
Mary Helgeson
Timothy George Benton
Jeanie Ann Childs
Raymond Arthur Banks
Germaine Lacosta Chatkana
Ronald Luke Singer
Holly Jean Paul
Ramona Lynn Berger
Matthew Joseph Conroy
Terry Goetsch
Rick Brenizer
Brian Donovan Glick
Adrian Morrison
Vicky Lynn Shelton
Robert John Hendrickson
Shane Michael Swanson
Bonnie Guthrie
Michelle Lyann Winter
*If you do not see your loved one’s name in these lists and
would like to please let us know at
[email protected] or send a letter to our P.O Box.
Birth Date
April 1, 1907
April 1, 1977
April 3, 1955
April 3, 1963
April 3, 1986
April 4, 1940
April 5, 1973
April 5, 1973
April 6, 1968
April 7, 1975
April 7, 1978
April 8, 1936
April 9, 1927
April 9, 1955
April 9, 1958
April 10, 1974
April 12, 1972
April 14, 1961
April 15, 1929
April 15, 1966
April 15, 1970
April 16, 1959
April 17, 1958
April 17, 1974
April 18, 1977
April 18, 1981
April 19, 1964
April 20, 1951
April 20, 1952
April 21, 1958
April 22, 1951
April 22, 1978
April 22, 1980
April 22, 1981
April 23, 1948
April 24, 1971
April 24, 1980
April 25 1956
April 25, 1972
April 26, 1969
April 28, 1956
April 28, 1958
April 28, 1978
April 29, 1950
April 30, 1982
Page 3
Voices Of Hope
Remember April 22
Book Recommendation:
Using my wonderful skills of observation, it has
dawned on me that the brunch is approaching much
faster than I thought.
At my age, I can’t afford to age any more quickly than
just normal. As always, at this time in the brunch
planning I become convinced that everybody hates me,
nobody loves me and we will never get to the 100
people we guarantee to the hotel…we always do.
Therefore I should be able to turn off my brain and not
fret about it. Now turning off a brain requires that I
first make sure that I have one.
In any event, the reservation form is once again
included in this issue and we would be enormously
grateful that all of you who intend to attend, fill one
out and send it to our very empty P.O. box. We need
to give the hotel a body count a couple of days ahead.
The cost is identical to the past years except that
children ten and under will be $12.00.
As I indicated in prior issues, our speaker will be Patrick
Poirier, Katie’s brother who will be talking from a
sibling’s perspective.
In addition, we will once again have a silent auction
and we’d love it not be too silent. If any of you have an
idea for something to include and would like to donate,
please call Joanie at 651-484-0336. Remember POMC
is totally self-funded and the proceeds of the auction
pay for many months of the newsletters.
Also, if any of you who are coming, are unsure if your
loved one’s picture is in the video, call me and I’ll
double check our listing. For those who know their
particular picture was not included in the past, send
one quickly and we’ll make sure it gets in. We need the
name, birth date and murder date for inclusion. This
can be mailed to our PO Box or emailed to
[email protected].
Thanks for your concern for my mental health.
Jim Lym
Don’t Take My Grief Away From
Me
By Doug Manning
In his warm, personal style, Manning walks us
through the first few days after a death and
all the plans and decisions that need to be
made. He then picks up the grief journey
and provides guidance, assurances and
hope for healing. A classic.
Amazon.com - $10.95
Coping With Death and Grief
by Patricia Johnson
Death is inevitable, yet the loss of a close friend
or family member always showers us with a
range of emotions. One day we might
desperately try to avoid the pain, anxiety and
feelings of helplessness we feel when a loved
one dies. Other days, we feel like life has
returned to normal—at least until we realize
that our life has changed irrevocably.
Despite the gamut of emotions we feel, grieving
for a loved one helps us cope and heal. The
intense, heart-breaking anguish indicates that a
deep connection has been severed. Without a
doubt, grieving is painful. But it is also
necessary.
Continued pg 7
Page 4
Voices Of Hope
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
Minnesota Hope Chapter’s
14th Annual Victim’s Rights Brunch Registration Form
Victims’ Rights: Every Victim. Every Time”
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Name(s):________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Address:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
City:
____________________________________________________________________________State:_____________Zip:______________
Phone #:
(______)_________________________Email:_________________________________________________________________________
Number of Tickets:___________ Amount Enclosed: $____________(22.00/adult, 12.00/child)
(Payment at time of registration is requested.)
Professional_____ Or Survivor_____ Loved One’s Name_______________________________
DOB:____/____/____ DOD:____/____/____ Picture Enclosed: Y____ N____
Members, professionals, family, and friends are all welcome to attend!
If you haven’t already done so, please submit a picture for the Victim’s Rights Brunch Memorial Slide Show of our loved ones.
Mail to: Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. MN Hope Chapter, PO Box 516, Circle Pines, MN 55014
LIST ALL GUESTS SEPARETELY WITH ADDRESSES BELOW
Guest 1:___________________________________________________________________________________
Last
First
Address
City, State, Zip
Guest 2: ___________________________________________________________________________________
Last
First
Address
City, State, Zip
Guest 3: ___________________________________________________________________________________
Last
First
Address
City, State, Zip
Guest 4: ___________________________________________________________________________________
Last
First
Address
City, State, Zip
Guest 5: ___________________________________________________________________________________
Last
First
Address
City, State, Zip
Page 5
Voices Of Hope
Sponsor Page
Love Gifts
A special thanks to all who have generously donated in
memory of their loved ones.
Patricia Jenny in memory of Brian Edward Jenny
Stanley and Beverly Toikka in memory of Lori Beth Lewis date
of death 3-13-98
John Schram in memory of daughter Cindi Ann Schram
Darlene Moen in memory of son Devin Moen
Bev and Stan Toikka in memory of daughter Lori Beth Lewis
Joan and Jim Lym in memory of son Michael Lym
Costco donation through United Way
MN Hope Chapter Board of Directors
Sharon
Huberty-Wiggins
(Chapter Leader)
Chris E Dahl
(Chapter Leader)
Jim Lym (Co-Leader)
Chris
(Co-Leader)
ChuckDahl
Winter
(Co-Leader)
Darlene Moen (Treasurer)
Joan
Lym
(Member)
Sharon
Huberty-Wiggins
(Secretary)
Frank
Baumgardner
Joan Lym
(Member) (Member)
Phyllis
Baumgardner(Member)
(Member)
Frank Baumgardner
Mike
(Member)
PhyllisSchumacher
Baumgardner
(Member)
Mike Schumacher (Member)
651-245-6195
612-789-5947
651-484-0336
612-789-5947
651-285-1872
612-840-8522
651-484-0336
651-245-6195
651-224-3114
651-484-0336
651-224-3114
612-348-5368
651-224-3114
612-348-5368
If you would like support or have information
on upcoming hearings, trials, or sentencings
please call Jim Lym at 651-484-0336.
We are thinking about creating a
sponsor page to be included in our
newsletter each month. This would be a
spot for advertising local businesses and
organizations who in turn would donate
a contribution to the POMC Hope
Chapter. This would benefit both us and
those advertising. Their contributions
would help fund the publishing of Voices
of Hope and go toward other events put
on by the group. Our newsletter is sent
out to hundreds of readers throughout
the Twin Cities and more in greater MN
who would see your advertisement.
If you or anyone you know would be
interested in advertising please contact
Matt Bierwerth, Voices of Hope Editor, at
[email protected] for more
information on pricing and space
availability.
Thanks for your support.
If you would like to memorialize your loved
one on the MN Hope Chapter Memorial
Wall, please mail the following to our P.O.
Box.
o Victim’s Name
o Date of Birth
o Date of Death
o 2”x3” colored photo
o $25 check to POMC/MN Hope
Chapter
The walls are 2’x3’ and consist of thirty
photos each. Underneath their photo is a
brass nameplate with their name, date of
birth, and date of death. The walls travel
to POMC functions. We currently have 5
panels.
“Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as
indignant as those who are.”
Page 6
Voices Of Hope
LOVE GIFTS are a living memorial to our children, siblings and grandchildren,
usually given on anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc. There is no charge for
our newsletters or meetings. We depend solely on your contributions.
I wish to make a donation in memory of:
_____________________________________________
Amount Enclosed $ __________________
DOB: ____/_____/_____
DOD: _____/_____/____
Age at Death: ______________
Donated by: ____________________________________
Relationship to: _________________________________
Please make your tax deductible check payable to: POMC Minnesota Hope
Chapter and mail to: PO Box 516, Circle Pines MN 55014
In case of inclement weather please contact Jim Lym
@ 651-484-0336 for meeting changes.
This is for all bad weather conditions…storms in
summer and winter, extreme temperatures and other
conditions.
Thank You
Directions to Holy Spirit Church
From I-94:
Exit Snelling Ave and travel south to
Randolph Ave. Turn left on to Randolph.
Holy Spirit is on the south side of the street at
the corner of Randolph and Albert.
From 35E:
Exit Randolph Ave and travel west. Holy
Spirit is located on the south side of the street
at the corner of Randolph and Albert.
Meetings are the 3rd Friday of every
month
7-9pm
MN Hope Chapter Digital Photo Frame
A very special thanks goes out to the family and loved
ones of Joshua Haglund who generously donated a
digital photo frame to our chapter to help create a very
moving memorial to all our fallen loved ones. It will
be on display at our monthly meetings and any special
functions such as the annual brunch. Below is a
consent form that needs to be completed to have your
loved ones photo included. Please sign and return it to
us by mail or at the next meeting. Include an uncropped photo of any size. The clearer the picture, the
better. The photo will be returned.
MN Hope Chapter Memorial Digital Photo
Frame
CONSENT FORM
(please print clearly)
I give the Minnesota Hope Chapter of POMC
permission to use my loved one’s photo for
the Memorial Digital Photo Frame that will
be displayed at chapter meetings and
events.
Your Name:_________________________
Loved One’s Name:
__________________________________
DOB___/___/___ DOD___/___/___
Relationship to Loved One:
__________________________________
Address:
__________________________________
City:______________State:___Zip:______
Phone(area code):___________________
Email:_____________________________
Donation included (optional):
$_____________
We are sorry for the circumstances that bring you to POMC, but we hope that we can be of assistance to
you as you work through your grief. You are cordially invited to attend our meetings each month.
Nothing is required of you. There are no dues or fees, and you need not speak a work. Attending your
first meeting takes courage, but most find a comforting network of support, friendship, and
understanding that only those who have “been there” can give.
Page 7
Voices Of Hope
Coping contd…
Going forward doesn’t mean forgetting about the loved one who died. Enjoying life again doesn’t imply that the person is no longer
missed. Piecing together your shattered emotions doesn’t mean you, somehow, betray a friend or family member. It simply means
that your grief has run its course.
While no single pathway through grief exists, people do share common responses.
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief,” which represent feelings of
those who have faced death and tragedy.
Based on her years of working with terminal cancer patients, Kübler-Ross proposed the following pattern of phases many people
experience:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what has happened.”
Although these are common responses to loss, there is no structure or timetable for the grieving process. That said, understanding
grief and its common symptoms are helpful when grieving. Recognizing the difference between trauma and depression is also
beneficial.
Besides understanding how stress can take a toll on us physically, emotionally and spiritually, we need to understand the practical
guidelines to ease the process. These include taking care of our bodies, spending time with others and reaching out to the church
community.
Finally, there will come a time when someone close to us experiences a significant loss. Knowing how to respond to a grieving friend is
a good first step in acting as a reliable companion.
The death of a loved one is a shattering experience with far-reaching implications. As difficult as the loss may be, it is possible to move
forward with hope for the future.
Copyright @ Patricia Johnson, www.focusonthefamily.com
Central MN Chapter News
From the Heart of Minnesota
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
For the families and friends of those who have died by violence.
National POMC Headquarters: 100 E 8th St, Suite 202, Cincinnati, OH 45202
phone 888-818-7662. Email [email protected], Web www.pomc.com
Announcements:
1. Our new location is at the "Life Transitions Building" at 312 2nd Avenue North in Sauk Rapids, please contact Sue with
meeting dates as they vary monthly at: 320.333.1445
2. If you want to remain on the mailing list please contact [email protected] and or to add your loved ones name, DOB
& DOD.
Meetings:
1. We now have a new location for our meetings, a wonderful site provided to us from Catholic Charities and a special Thanks
to Lois Rengel. There is a handicapped access behind the house with a wheelchair ramp for those that might be in need of it, I
am certain everyone will be very pleased with our new location, which is also requesting donations at each meeting. Our
regular meeting time is 2:00 PM the 3rd Sunday.
Leader- Central MN POMC
Vicky Bolin
612.385.4336
Page 8
Non-Profit Org.
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
Minnesota Hope Chapter
P.O. Box 516
Circle Pines, MN 55014
Voices
Of Hope
U.S. Postage
PAID
Permit No. 334
Circle Pines, MN
Address service requested
MN Hope Chapter
Upcoming Events
Meeting: Friday Apr 20th
13th Annual CVRW Brunch:
Sun, Apr 22nd
Newsletter Mailing List Update
This is an effort to update our mailing list. We are asking for your cooperation.
To continue receiving the POMC, MN Hope Chapter VOICES OF HOPE
newsletter, please fill out the information below and return.
We hope you will continue to want to receive the newsletter and future
mailings. Thank you, MN Hope Chapter Board of Directors.
Name:____________________________________ Newsletter Donation: $____________
(optional)
Address:_____________________________City:_____________St:_____Zip:__________
Home Phone: (____)_____________ Work Phone: (____)____________
Permission to send info to POMC National: Yes:______ No:______
Email Address:______________________________________________________________
Do you wish to remain on the mailing list? Yes____ No____ If yes, by Mail____Email___
Survivor/ Professional/ Both If Professional, Company Name:_____________________
(circle one)
Victim’s Name:_____________________________________________________________
Last
We’re on the Web!
Visit us at:
Pomc.com/minnesota
First
Middle
DOB:____/____/____ DOD:____/____/____ Age at time of death:____
Your relationship to the Victim:_______________________________________________________
Mail to: POMC, inc. MN Hope Chapter, PO Box 516, Circle Pines, MN 55104
Or email us at: [email protected]