March - Parents of Murdered Children

Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER
“For the Families & Friends of those who have died by violence”
19620 North 38th Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215
Chapter Phone: (602) 254-8818 Chapter E-mail: [email protected]
* National Organization of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. (POMC)
4960 Ridge Ave. Suite 2, Cincinnati, OH, 45209 (513) 721-5683 Fax: (513) 345-4489
http://www.pomc.com/phoenix/index.html
Toll Free Number (888) 818-7662
Volume 25: No. 3 March 2016
https://www.facebook.com/pages/POMC-Valley-of-the-Sun/
MONTHLY SUPPORT MEETING
LOCATIONS
4th Tuesday - Grief Support Meetings
All Meetings Start At 7:00 PM
◄EAST VALLEY MEETING►
Tuesday, March 22 7:00 PM
Mountain View Lutheran Church
11002 S. 48th Street, Phoenix AZ
Room #8
(1/2 mile West of I-10 at 48th Street & Elliot)
Facilitator: Claudia Marco
480-290-3908
◄WEST VALLEY MEETING►
Tuesday, March 22 7:00 PM
Antioch Church of God in Christ
9600 West Peoria Avenue, Peoria AZ
Family Room
(NW Corner of 96th Ave/W Peoria Ave)
Facilitator: Kathy Hernandez Schofield
623-707-6825
◄CENTRAL VALLEY MEETING►
Tuesday, March 22 7:00 PM
Mountain View Police Precinct
Community Room
2075 East Maryland, Phoenix AZ
Facilitator: Beckie Miller
623-582-2406
◄SPANISH SPEAKING MEETING►
Tuesday, March 22 7:00 PM
Queen of Peace Church
30 West 1st Street Room St. John 7
Mesa, AZ 85201
Facilitators: Sandy & Paulino Navarro
480-695-4789
CRIME VICTIMS LEGAL ASSISTANCE
PROJECT
Free legal aid to help assert victims' rights
through Arizona Voice for Crime Victims @
(480) 600-2661, P.O. Box 12722, Scottsdale,
AZ 85261 or contact Mary Wallace at
[email protected]
◄◄SPEAKER/INFORMATION►►
MEETING
(2nd Tuesday of each month)
Tuesday, March 8, 7:00 PM
*** Mountain View Police Precinct
Community Room
2075 East Maryland, Phoenix AZ
(off AZ 51 at 20th Street between Glendale
Avenue and Bethany Home Road Across from Granada Park)
*Our meeting this month will feature
Colleen Clase an attorney with Arizona
Voice for Crime Victims who provide free
services for crime victims to assert their
rights in the courts process.
NEWSLETTER EDITOR
Mail Memorial Page items for “The Journey” by
the 10th of the month prior to publication month to:
POMC Newsletter
19620 North 38th Ave Glendale AZ 85308-2215
*Please use order form on Page 11
You can also email items to [email protected]
Be sure to place any article or picture in an
attachment, otherwise it can’t be accessed
properly (especially pictures) and may not be
used. Also, be sure to put POMC Newsletter in
the subject line of the email.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.”
Jim Gentry
March 2, 2001
Michael E. Gonzales
March 7, 1996
Michael Christensen
March 16, 1995
Richard Dear, Jr.
March 2, 2002
Sean Alexander Hardman
March 10, 1997
Esteban Jimenez
March 16, 1999
Rachel Dennis
March 2, 2007
Carlos Silva
March 10, 2005
Ruben Espindola
March 16, 2008
Jeffrey Coonan
March 3, 1990
Zoe Ann Sunderman
March 10, 2006
Luka & Dominic Iriarte
March 16, 2012
Scott Hazelip
March 3, 1994
Ashley Erinn Alexander
March 10, 2013
Nathan Floyd
March 16, 2012
Cierra Marie Gonzales
March 3, 2002
Richard Murillo
March 11, 2007
Mike Anthony Stinnett
March 17, 1974
Susan Barber
March 3, 2003
Devon J. HinmanShackelford
March 11, 2004
Jon Brian Norris
March 17, 1996
Zachary Balogh
March 3, 2012
Robert Otis III
March 4, 1998
George Perez
March 5, 2002
Richard Capurso III
March 5, 1995
Fabian Valenzuela
March 5, 2013
Ann Louise Leighton
March 6, 1996
Jason A. Alcorta
March 6, 2005
Yorhan Angullo
March 6, 2013
Larry M. & John D. Heil
March 12, 1991
Ken Hicks
March 12, 2002
Bryan Ring
March 14, 2002
John Houge
March 14, 2010
Olajuwon Milligan
March 14, 2013
Carl Beasley
March 15, 1990
Michael Strode
March 15, 2004
Alexander Cyrus Sunn
March 15, 2008
Kathryn Ann Koger
March 7, 1973
Pattrick Pennington
March 17, 1997
Jermarr Preston
March 17, 2011
Thomas A. Wallander
March 19, 1992
Christine Ann Wood
March 19, 2006
Luis Alberto Valenzuela
March 19, 2010
Nora Fielding
March 20, 1994
Timothy Morrison
March 20, 2000
Ryan Cunningham
March 20, 2004
Marcus Dixon
March 20, 2009
2
Continued. . . .
Arthur Lopez
March 21, 1994
John Flores
March 26, 2001
Jordan Bader
March 21, 2002
Melissa D. Baker
March 26, 2004
Maurice Green
March 21, 2006
Karen Rooney-Jordan
March 27, 2002
Carlos Guerrero
March 21, 2011
Stephone Shay Wickware
March 27, 2003
Susan Marie Schmidt
March 22, 1978
Jalen Sims
March 27, 2010
Robert A. Bukey
March 22, 2005
Isaiah Amari Vargas
March 28, 2007
Armando P. Alvarez, Jr.
March 22, 2006
Kurtland Ma
March 29, 2014
Greg Luecke
March 22, 2012
Raymond R. Dorsey
March 30, 1999
Cathy Small
March 23, 1986
Nathan Lawrence
March 30, 2002
Michael Acuna
March 23, 2003
Skye Moniqua Lee
March 30, 2008
Joseph Barresi
March 24, 1979
Aaron Bacon
March 31, 1994
Cynthia Bernal
March 24, 2000
Nathan Anaya
March 31, 2004
Teri Foster
March 24, 2005
Penelope Montesinos
March 31, 2005
Bartosz Pawel Kaluza
March 24, 2006
Issurah Jackson
March 31, 2008
Delia Rivera
March 25, 2007
Ricky Ray Hernandez
March 31, 2012
"Contrary to what a lot of people
believe (or hope), comfort
doesn't take the pain away.
Comfort slides in beside the
pain, pulling up a chair so that
we have something more than
sorrow in our hearts. Comfort
gently expands our spirits so
that we can breathe again.
Comfort opens our eyes so that
we can see possibility again.
And on those days whether it is
the next day or five years
removed, on that day when grief
rears its dark head, comfort
helps us remember that pain is
not all there is.
(Peggy Haymes)
May you find comfort in the sweet
memories of your loved ones.
Always remember that they also
lived and in doing so you honor
their lives.
Every effort is made to ensure accuracy
on these pages. Please notify us
immediately with any errors or changes.
3
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER NEWS
TRIAL, JUDICIAL & ARREST UPDATES
• Trial for the killer of, Scott Michael Johnson, son of Roberta Johnson, who was murdered in September of
2010 has ended with a guilty verdict. Sentencing was January 12 and he received 21 years.
“Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with each and every family member as they endure this difficult
process.”
IN LOVING MEMORY GIFT DONATIONS (THANK YOU!)
(*All donations are tax deductible: Our chapter exists on the generosity of others, grants, and fundraisers)
♥ Roberta & Brad Johnson in very loving memory of their son, Scott Johnson.
♥ Sandy & Paulino Navarro in very loving memory of their son, Michael Garcia.
♥ Don & Beckie Miller in very loving memory of their son, Brian Ray Miller.
♥ Carolee Holbrook in very loving memory of her son, Brett Holbrook.
CORPORATE & OTHER DONATIONS THANK YOU!
UNITED WAY (Please Note: the write-in number to designate funds to our chapter through your employee
contributions is 0772). You must use this number for designating any funds to go to our chapter. Our chapter
name is not listed except by number.
AMERICAN EXPRESS - donations from Norma Yanez, anonymous, and Lindison Y. Webb in honor of
Del Edward Webb, and Tara E. Williams in memory of her brother Kirk Best and mom, Sally Whitney.
MESA UNITED WAY (City of Mesa)
COLD CASE REGISTRY FOR HOMICIDES (PHOENIX POLICE DEPARTMENT)
The Phoenix Police Department has a Cold Case Registry on line. The link is
http://phoenix.gov/police/investigations/coldcase/index.html.
COLD CASE REGISTRY FOR HOMICIDES MCSO (SHERIFF'S OFFICE)
The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office has a cold case registry for any victim, victim's family member, or other
lawful representative of a victim of a cold case who requests to be included in the registry. This process
provides law enforcement with an avenue to contact family when there are new developments in the case.
In order to submit a request, please contact the MCSO Homicide Unit. Telephone: 602-876-1087. E-mail:
[email protected]
SPEAKER INFORMATION MEETING (Supreme Court Commission of Victims in Court)
Our meeting in February featured members of the AZ Supreme Courts Commission on Victims in Court or
COVIC. Representing the 22- member commission were retired judge Ron Reinstein, Kirsten Flores who is
director of victim services at the Attorney General’s Office, Jim Markey who is a retired police officer and
National Executive Director of POMC – Dan Levey. They shared about being on COVIC and some of
what they have accomplished as a commission trying to improve the rights of crime victims and the court
process for victims. One thing they worked on was one of their biggest complaints and that was right of
privacy, especially from sexual assault and child molestation cases. It stemmed largely from two sisters who
were molested as children and googled their names years later and they came up with court documents and all
the specific details of the molestation. So victim’s names are now anonymous in court documents especially in
these situations. They have also worked on Restitution issues, automated notification for a victim’s case status
and Domestic Violence Lethality to provide a standard questionnaire for law enforcement to utilize along with
training which will help them to assess how much danger a domestic violence is in. Kirsten and Judge
Reinstein provide trainings for the judges across the state.
Mr. Markey also mentioned that being on a commission for victims gave him a whole new perspective
from what he had in his law enforcement career and he is becoming more victim-centered as COVIC develops
action plans to enhance victims’ rights and the courts process.
Dan Levey has long represented POMC and the voice of victims and continues to do so on this commission
alongside other victims who serve on the commission.
4
FRY'S COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM FUNDRAISER FOR OUR CHAPTER
Our chapter is now a part of the Fry's Community Rewards program. If you shop there, you can simply sign up (one time
only) to connect your VIP card and we will get a percentage of proceeds. Just go to http://www.frysfood.com, select
Register, under Sign In information, enter your email and create a password. Select User Card # and enter your Fry's VIP
number, last name and zip code. Under Select Your Preferred Store, enter zip code of that store. Select Find Your Store
then select Create Account. You will be prompted to confirm your email. Click the hyperlink to finish creating your
Online Account. If you already have an Online Account with Fry's, you can skip this and go to
https://frysfood.com/topic/community?activePage=community-rewards-2. Select Sign In and enter your email and
password. Select My Account and then Account Settings from drop down menu. Click Edit under Community Awards.
Under Find Your Organization, select box next to POMC and enter the NPO number #29432. Save changes and you are
good to go. If you have registered correctly, you should see our organization information listed under "Community
Rewards" on your account summary page. Thanks for your support.
CHAPTER SIBLING COORDINATOR
Amanda Harris is our Sibling Coordinator and provides support for siblings outside of meetings. You can
reach her by phone for more information at 623-866-3189 or email her at [email protected]. Amanda
lost her brother Joshua to murder and understands the sibling grief in a way only a sibling can.
AFFIRMATION OF POMC NON-DISCRIMINATION POLICY
“It shall be the policy of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., to provide equal membership/employment service
opportunities to all eligible persons without regard to race, religion, color, national origin, citizenship, age, sex,
sexual orientation, marital status, parental status, disabilities, membership in any labor organization, political
affiliation, and for employment only, height, weight, and record of arrest without conviction.”
*If you feel you have been discriminated against you may file a complaint with our National Office, 4960
Ridge Avenue, Suite 2, Cincinnati, Ohio 45209. www.pomc.org (513) 721-5683
To refer a complaint to an appropriate investigating entity:
Office for Civil Rights
Office of Justice Programs
U.S. Department of Justice
810 7th Street, NW
Washington, D.C. 20531
www.ojp.gov
In order to file with the federal Office for Civil Rights (OCR) two forms must be downloaded from the internet
and submitted in writing to the ORC. The forms can be found at www.ojp.gov/about/ocr/complaint.htm.
Arizona Department of Public Safety
VOCA Administration
Civil Rights Coordinator
PO Box 6638 - MD 1320
Phoenix AZ 85005-6638
(602) 223-2491
www.azdps.gov/services/crime_victims
JANUARY 2016 BOARD OF DIRECTORS ELECTIONS
Our annual elections for positions on your chapter’s board of directors was held at the January Speaker
Information meeting. We had two positions open this term and Sandy and Paulino Navarro were voted in.
They are the facilitators of our new Spanish Speaking meeting in Mesa. Your officers were elected by the
board after the meeting ended and consist of: Beckie Miller, Chapter-Leader, Amanda Harris as Co-leader,
Claudia Marco as Co-Leader and Secretary and Don Miller as Treasurer. Other board of director members are:
Kathy Hernandez, Tim Osolin, Arrow McCullough, Denise Brewer and Mary Wallace.
Serving on the board of directors is a lot of hard, but rewarding work and we appreciate those who volunteer to
do so.
5
NEW FROM NATIONAL POMC
☺ CINCINNATI OHIO OFFICE☺ 4960 Ridge Avenue, Ste 2, Cincinnati OH 45209
888-818-7662 Website: www.pomc.org
•The POMC CATALOG has been added to the home page on the website. Please check out the website www.pomc.org
for our inventory of sale items. Some of the items are new and are available for purchase. Some of the older items are on
sale.
•SAVE THE DATE: The 30th National Conference will be July 21-24, 2016, at the Sheraton Lake Buena Vista Resort,
Orlando, Florida. Call 800-423-3297 to make reservations. The hotel price is $99.00 (includes resort fee of $19.95), so
make sure they do not charge you extra. For brochure and more information, see website www.pomc.org. It’s not too
early to think of silent auction items/table gifts donations. For table gifts donations, you can email Marie Belmontez,
[email protected] to let her know. For silent auction items, contact Carol Leonhardt, [email protected]. If
you would like to donate either, send them to National at:
2016 National POMC Conference
4960 Ridge Ave. Ste. 2
Cincinnati, OH 45209-1075
●SURVIVORS NEWSLETTER: The National Newsletter is going green and we are currently in the process of getting
email addresses and switching over. If you do not have a computer or access to one you will still receive a hard copy if
you notify the National Office. There is a lot of time put in to creating, editing and assembling the Newsletter for
distribution thus we will still charge $10 for the subscription. POMC's effort to be more cost effective, generate some
income, and going green make it a logical step to take.
●DONATIONS AND SUPPORT OF NATIONAL POMC: There are many ways to help with much needed funds for
POMC including any items you buy on Amazon.com, as well as if you shop the Kroger Stores. It is very simple and does
not cost you anything and yet your purchase allows a percentage from these companies to go directly to National. Please
go on-line to www.pomc.org and see how you can sign up for this or contact Bev Warnock - [email protected]
POMC Goodsearch donates money to POMC when you search the Internet, shop online or dine out at local restaurants!
Use Goodsearch.com to search the Internet and they donate a penny per search to POMC. Use Goodshop.com when you
shop online and they donate a percentage of every purchase and offer over 100,000 coupons to help you save money too!
Sign up for their Good dining program and they'll donate a percentage of your restaurant bill when you eat at any one of
thousands of participating restaurants. It's really easy, it's free and turns simple everyday actions into a way to help
POMC. Please sign up today to help support Parents Of Murdered Children - POMC. Go to www.goodsearch.com to get
started.
NEW FUNDRAISER: No need to worry about parking or getting a designated driver-we've partnered with Uber to get
everyone to and from events safely! Uber is evolving the way the world moves. By seamlessly connecting riders to drivers
through our app, Uber makes cities more accessible, opening up more possibilities for riders and more business for
drivers. New to Uber? Sign up with promo code POMCORG to get your first ride FREE, up to $20! Plus, Uber will
donate $5 back to POMC. Check out Uber pro tips here: uber.com/features. Promo Code: POMCORG Sign up Link:
Uber.com/go/pomcorg
●AUTO DONATIONS: We are encouraging all chapters and contact persons to get involved with POMC Debit Authorization. You
can now donate to NATIONAL POMC by setting up an automatic withdrawal from your bank account to National. Contact National
for a debit authorization form. This is a fast and easy way to make a donation to National to help us help others. Your donation is
withdrawn at the same time of the month, each month, and no amount is too small. We appreciate your help during these difficult
economic times.
●PAROLE BLOCK PROGRAM: To date, this program has kept more than 1509 prisoners who committed murders
from being released early. Parole Block was begun in 1990 and all members across the United States whose loved one’s
killer is up for early release/parole consideration can file a petition with National that is sent nationwide for signatures
protesting their release.
SECOND OPINION SERVICES: A program that provides second opinions on unsolved or complicated cases by a
national board comprised solely of experts in the medical, law enforcement and investigative fields.
MURDER IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT (MINE) PROGRAM: Through this program, POMC raises public awareness to the
insensitivity of murder as entertainment through toys, games, murder mystery weekends, drive-by shooting fashions, serial killer
trading cards, and anything that glamorizes violence.
BIG TURN OFF: This is an annual event, each January, in which citizens are asked to turn off their televisions for one evening
during prime time hours to protest the violence on television.
MURDER WALL: A traveling tribute honoring the memories of murder victims. A photo album is also available with each plaque.
Currently, the cost is $75 to add your loved ones’ names to the Walnut Plaques that comprise the Murder Wall. You have two pages
for the photo album to add information, poetry or pictures.
SILENCED VOICES: A program begun in January 2002, which advocates for the vigorous investigation and
prosecution of those responsible for the murder of abused children. The first case was that of Brandi Conley. POMC was
instrumental in bringing charges against her parents.
6
“IN THE SPRING OF MY GRIEF”
A TIME TO MOURN
(By: Jill Taylor)
(Reprinted with permission from Bereavement Publishing, Inc.)
I am lost in grief, numb with shock,
filled with disbelief and, at times, rage Besieged by an army of rebellious emotions,
My instinct is to retreat.
I want to hide under a blanket and sleep,
awakening only to your smiling faces.
But the nightmare is real –
And you are not coming back.
I am a worry to my family,
and a stranger to our friends,
Adrift in a sea of despair
and marooned in an unwelcome reality.
Please don’t rush my grief
Or tell me to move on with my life. I need time.
My loss must be processed,
My pain must be healed.
Please be gentle and kind.
Offer a hot meal – not advice!
Share a cup of tea.
Understand my silence may be from
fatigue and emptiness within.
Please don’t shy away
When I vent anger and frustration.
I may even seem bitter and
envious of those around me.
Have patience as I reminisce
And gaze fondly at old photographs.
Speak my beloved’s name
And smile as we reflect shared memories.
I am not afraid of tears
Only the loneliness each day brings.
Grieving takes time.
Grieving requires support.
Embrace me with love.
Companion me with hope.
My faith gets me out of bed – Your support keeps me going.
7
THE COURAGE TO GRIEVE
(A Weekend Retreat of Hope and Healing in the Pines)
April 29 – May 1 in beautiful PINE, ARIZONA
Our chapter is hosting our twenty-fifth, self-help, rewarding weekend of the courage to grieve, to
face the many overwhelming and difficult emotions that are the aftermath of murder and are often
compounded by the intrusion and frustration of the judicial process. Beneath the explosive
emotions of rage, hate, and revenge lay the more primary feelings of pain, fear and helplessness.
Unresolved these emotions can cause survivors to feel they are losing their minds. The isolation
survivors feel from those who will not or cannot deal with the impact of the loss, leave survivors
alone with their grief or discourage them from grieving at all. An integral part of this weekend will
be an examination of love, tenderness and affection, relaxation techniques and the encouragement
to move forward, uncover and experience within a safe environment of others who truly
understand. The retreat has been designed to influence the reconstruction of a new life - a life that
has a renewed sense of purpose, though forever changed by murder.
The weekend begins with dinner on Friday night. Those attending will all meet at the cabin in
Pine at 5:00 p.m. with introductions to the group. This cabin was purchased by the Fornoffs
specifically for retreats. Roger and Carol, whose daughter Christy Ann was killed in Tempe in 1984
while collecting money for her newspaper delivery route. Our chapter has hosted 25 retreats at the
Fornoff’s cabin in the beautiful and peaceful pines surrounding it.
The retreat cost is normally $150 but we received a grant to cover it and this includes all meals
while at the cabin, home-cooked and served family style as if you were at home. Roger is a very
good cook and he loves doing so. Space is limited to 19, so reserve your spot now. *While no
charge this year we do need a deposit of $25 which will be refunded to you after your participation
that weekend. (check or cash please)
Many of those who have attended the weekend retreats will tell you, though it is hard emotional
work, it is very beneficial and rewarding. Husbands and wives, as well as siblings should attend
together and learn that while we each grieve differently and had our own relationship with our
loved ones, we all share the pain and the trauma of losing a loved one to murder.
Please sign me up for the grief retreat in Pine. Deposit $25 cash or check only for deposit
Name:_________________________________________________________________________
Address:___________________________________City:__________State: _____Zip________
Phone: Home:____________ Cell:_____________ E-mail: ___________________________
Check enclosed ______ Requesting Scholarship _____ Need to Carpool _____
CREDIT CARD INFO:# __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ TYPE________ EXP DATE _________
3 number code on back __ __ __
Any questions, please call Beckie @ (602) 254-8818 or E-mail [email protected]
*Mail to POMC, Valley of the Sun Chapter, 19620 North 38th Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215
*Map, info on what to bring and other information will be mailed after sign up.
MEMORIALIZING
(By Judy Hawk/Scottsdale Arizona)
In the time following a loved one’s death, a time when individuals and families are in the process
of grieving the loss, they will begin to make attempts at establishing ways to remember the loved one.
This usually begins with the funeral/memorial service where family and friends recognize and
remember the person. The service is a time of sharing memories and saying last good-byes.
A touch point can best be described, according to the dictionary, as “a mark or effect left... a place
that will emphasize or bring notice to a person at a special moment when a tender touch or
remembrance is needed.”
Deep within the human spirit is the need to honor and remember the people we love. It is almost
an unheard cry of the soul to pledge never to forget the person and his or her part in our lives.
Because of this desire to keep memories alive, people are impressed to make touch points (places to
remember their loved ones). These touch points are not only physical reminders, but they also
contribute to bringing comfort and peace to the heart and soul. Some touch points help bring closure
in a loss. Others serve to provide an ongoing source of remembrance whenever they cross our paths,
our minds and our thoughts. Touch points become a valuable part of grief recovery and a return to
moving into a place of acceptance and restoration. Following are some suggested ideas for touch
points:
The cemetery gravesite is a good place to begin. Choosing a marker and meaningful inscriptions
are important. Give yourself enough time after the service to sit down and put the
name/dates/symbols and additional words together before you make a decision to order the marker.
Markers usually take a number of weeks for completion, so you have time to think about what it will
say about your loved one. Give yourself time!
For families who choose cremation, there are a number of options that can help to build “touch points”
for you. You may choose to use an urn/box for the ashes and keep them at home. You may choose
to scatter the ashes, and when doing so, the time, place and people involved can be a memory
builder for everyone. Photos, poems, etc., can become a part of the family’s good-bye to their loved
one. The place and time you choose will set in motion a yearly remembrance of your loved one that
will provide sweet memories.
In situations where a death has been an accident, one way that many families choose to
remember is to put a cross/flowers at the location where the accident occurred. These sites are
healing for a family member to see, and the public will be made aware of the death. Most families will
replace the flowers or cross on a regular basis for many years. Sometimes in cases of homicide,
drowning, etc., a memorial place can be established at the location.
When a death occurs at a location where a permanent memorial cannot be placed, then a family may
choose to plant a tree in a park, along a roadside, at their church, or at their home. A living tree/plant
represents a life well lived and a promise that life goes on. A memorial at a church, youth center,
community center, and park are also options. Many times a family can place a memorial marker at
the site with their loved one’s name.
No matter what the cause or situation of death, there are numerous ways a family can make their
loved one’s life remembered. Your home is usually the most important place to remember your loved
one: pictures on the wall, maybe a wall of pictures from childhood up to the present. Keepsake boxes
with personal items are good. Making the memory in your home can be suited to highlight your loved
one’s interests and personality. For instance, if he or she liked race cars, the “picture wall” could
reflect this with cars and banners. If a woman is a homemaker, then add items to the wall that reflect
her talents, such as quilt squares, pictures of children, a favorite necklace, a hat or recipe (framed).
Let your imagination flow! Each time people come into the home, they will be drawn to what that
person’s life reflected.
A touch point can be established by finding a special place or a corner of your home where you
can go to be alone with your loss. For instance, a quiet patio with plants, comfortable chairs, a view of
the clouds and the sky could become your “touch point” place for remembering. You could place a
candle, a small picture or a vase with a rose on a table nearby and use this area for your daily
devotions and prayer. Tell your family that this is your place to be alone. Find a corner with a
comfortable chair in your bedroom or living room and do the same. Finding a place of your own is
important. Men may find that the outdoors is good—a familiar walking path in the park, a chair in the
garage or workshop, a bench in the backyard. Be creative and think of what your needs will be for a
“touch point” place of your own. Sometimes you may decide to plant flowers in a planter/flower bed,
and as they bloom, place holiday items with them, such as plastic windmills that move with the wind,
Easter eggs, flags, pumpkins, anything seasonal. On birthdays and anniversaries, release balloons
with notes, fly kites or fly seasonal banners. Children especially enjoy visual remembrances. Let them
decorate, make pictures, write songs or poems. Help them make memory books to use as touch
points for themselves.
Listed below are many different ideas for making memories. With an infant, child or teen’s death, I
suggest purchasing a type of chest (like a hope chest) or a decorative box and begin to build
memories by placing personal items of the child’s inside the chest or box. Some people may prefer to
make their own boxes if handy with wood or other materials. Inside the boxes place items like favorite
stuffed animals, dolls, cars and toys. Select a favorite outfit, like a shirt, sweater, dress or hat to place
in the box. Put together a favorite book, the child’s own creative work, a favorite picture, tape or CD,
jewelry, school items and a blanket/quilt or pillow. In other words, you are building a chest of your
child’s favorites things. As you select these items, you will find so much to treasure as memories. It
will be difficult, so take your time. If it takes a year or two, don’t worry. You can always go back at any
time, sit down and open the lid and allow yourself to enjoy that special child and add another memory
item.
Making photo albums or scrapbooks are ways of preserving a person’s life for now and future
generations. However, I recommend that you wait for a period of time after your loss before you begin
these projects. Most of the time, this type of project brings memories rushing in before a person has
had enough time to heal from the loss. Usually the second or third year after a loss is manageable for
most people. Be good to yourself and try not to rush into a project that you are not ready to handle.
Scrapbooks and photo albums can be set aside until the time is right.
Deciding how and when to make a memory or memories of loved ones will differ with each
individual. Each person can be creative in his or her own way. Some women will design and make a
quilt, while others may make individual quilt squares with pictures/verses and frame them for a picture
wall. Some people will write a poem, keep a journal or have a shirt made (with a picture) or a cap with
the person’s name on it (kids love to wear these). Internet sites for high schools, colleges and clubs
are available to post pictures/info about a loved one’s death. Most high schools have website
postings of alumni who have died. A flower or vegetable garden can be planted and provide a yearround opportunity for memories. This type of memory provides not only beauty and gifts of food, but
opportunities to be outdoors and for exercise. Post a sign, “Sally’s garden,” and provide a place for
others to remember.
Holidays and seasons provide many opportunities to make touch points. Because holidays, like
birthdays and the anniversary of a death, are so difficult to experience, especially the first year, it is
important to find one or two ways to remember your loved one at these times. The simpler, the better!
At Christmas, try buying an ornament for the tree that makes a statement about the loved one. For
instance, you can buy one for the music lover, the fisherman, the hockey fan, the cook, etc. Start a
practice of purchasing a different ornament each Christmas with the same theme. As you decorate
the tree each year, you will make a special place for each ornament, and your family will remember. If
you hang stockings, don’t change your tradition. Try having family members write a little note to put in
the loved one’s stocking. At Thanksgiving, have each person take turns around the dinner table
sharing a special memory about the loved one. With all the holidays, use your imagination to do
something creative and special.
Memorial Wall Order Form
Please add my loved one’s name to the “Valley of the
Sun Memorial Wall in their Memories.” Each
Nameplate is $10. Our wall is displayed at many
special events across the valley during the year.
NAME__________________________________
Age:___________ Murder date: _____________
Picture Board
___ Check here if sending picture for the picture
board & Holiday Memorial Video (no cost).
You may email picture to [email protected]
Act of Kindness Cards
10 for $2 # ordered: _______
(attach these when giving acts of kindness to others in
memory of your loved one)
Chapter Bracelets
Red and black with words “Always in our Hearts.” $3
each # ordered _____
Chapter Window Decals
$10 each for auto or home with our logo and chapter
information: # ordered _____
*Make all checks or money orders out to POMC
*Mail to 19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
♥♥♥ THANKS FOR CARING ♥♥♥
To the Mountain View Police Precinct for donating
our meeting room, as well as Antioch Church of God
in Christ, Mountain View Lutheran Church. To the
Department of Public Safety (VOCA), for the grant
for our newsletter, and everyone who has donated
gifts of their time, talents and energy to our chapter
activities. With your help we are able to continue the
outreach that is needed by our community.
“The Journey” Memorial Page Order Form (newsletter)
Please reserve:
□ ½ page (suggested donation of $10)
□ Full pg (suggested donation of $20)
Month you wish memorial to appear in: ________________
Loved One’s Name________________________________
Age _____
Date of Death_______________
YOUR Name_____________________________________
YOUR Phone Number______________________________
YOUR E-MAIL __________________________________
A half page will hold a picture and short poem OR message,
depending on space. If a photo is included, please provide
identification of the person on the back. If you wish the photo to
be returned include a self-addressed stamped envelope, big
enough for the picture to fit in. Unless otherwise specified,
location, size and structure of the text and picture will be at
editor’s discretion and space permitting.
**We also, if space is available, print "Survivor to Survivor"
stories if you would like to send in a one page, single spaced and
typed document. Also, if you have written poetry about your loss
or have a favorite poem to share with others. We do edit for
misspellings and or profanity. There is no charge for these
items, either poetry or shared stories.
*Return this form with your material for The Journey by the 10th
of the month preceding the issue you wish it to appear in; for
example: September 10 for October's newsletter, etc.
*A donation for the memorial page can be made by sending a
check made out to POMC and mailed in care of:
Newsletter Editor
Valley of the Sun POMC
19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
CONTACT NUMBERS
VALLEY OF THE SUN
BOARD OF DIRECTORS (2016)
Beckie Miller, Chapter-Leader .......... .(623) 582-2406
Don Miller, Treasurer ....................... .(623) 582-2406
Claudia Marco, Co-Leader/Secretary..(480) 290-3908
Amanda Harris, Co-Leader..................(623) 866-3189
Kathy Hernandez,................................(623) 707-6825
Tim Osolin ....................................... ...(602) 615-7096
Mary Wallace……………………….…..(480) 695-4789
Denise Brewer..……………………......(917) 696-2928
Sandy Navarro.....................................(480) 695-4789
Paulino Navarro...................................(602) 828-1106
Arrow McCullough................................(602) 588-9834
(Volunteers)
Carolee Holbrook - Office Assistance
Denise Brewer - Anniversary Note Writer
Kathy Hernandez - Facebook Page Coordinator
SIBLING SUPPORT: Amanda Harris is our chapter's
Sibling Coordinator providing support for siblings. Her
contact info is 623-866-3189 or email:
[email protected]
POMC VOICE MESSAGING)....................(602) 254-8818
Chapter E-mail.……………………. [email protected]
Chapter Fax: .................................................(623) 582-0917
CRISIS LINE/MOBILE CRISIS TEAM
Empact Crisis Line ............................ ..(480) 784-4949
OTHER HELP LINES
Teen Lifeline.......................................…...(602) 248-8336
GrandCare (Grandparents help line) .....(602) 274-5022
Crime Victims Legal Assistance Project (480) 600-2661
MCAO Victim Services.............................(602) 506-8522
Crime Victim Compensation....................(602) 506-4955
11
Return Address
PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN, INC.
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER
19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
(602) 254-8818
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., is a self-help organization dedicated to the aftermath of
murder. The success of its mission depends upon the participation of the families and friends of
those lost to murder.
POMC number (602) 254-8818
WHY WE ARE HERE:
MISSION STATEMENT: “POMC makes the difference through ongoing emotional support,
education, prevention, advocacy, and awareness.”
VISION STATEMENT: “To provide support and assistance to all survivors of homicide victims while
working to create a world free of murder.”
This project is supported by Grant No. 2014-VA-GX-0018 from the US Department of Justice - Office for Victims of Crime.
The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of
the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the US DOJ or the Arizona Department of Public Safety.