Pretty T Girls - Rachel Williston

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Pretty T Girls
October 2013
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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Pretty T Girls
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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In This Issue
Editorial by: Barbara Jean
Sparkle—Europe’s Largest TG Event
4 Tips for Keeping Makeup Fresh All Night Long
Crazy Beauty Tricks That Really Work
How to Pick the Right Tools to Apply Foundation
Tips on Eyeshadow—What Color is Best
Photographs and Memories by: Randy
The Exploits of Barbara Marie
Suzi’s Theroy on Late Bloomers
Tasi’s Musings
Humor
Angels In The Centerfold
Mellissa’s Tips & Tricks
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
Tasi’s Fashion News
A Strange Mystery, Acting vs. Real Life
Dressing Down a Culturee Fore Refusing To Dress Up
Lucille Sorella
What Am I? This is What I Am
Out of One Closet and Into Another.
Oh The Gift That God Would Give Us
Top 10 Shoe Problems & How to Fix Them
River City Sparkle
The Gossip Fence
Shop Till You Drop
Calendar
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What a Mess
An Editorial by: Barbara Jean
On October 3rd of 2003, Rachel Williston created the Pretty T Girls Yahoo Group. This year
marks the tenth anniversary of the Pretty T Girls Yahoo group. In that time our group has
grown to over 3800 members. While many Yahoo Groups are geared toward a local area,
Pretty T Girls has members from all over the world.
Certainly Pretty T Girls has become something rather special of a group for the transgendered.
Over the past ten years it has provided the members with things like a monthly cover girl
contest and I know of no other yahoo group that has a monthly magazine.
When Rachel created Pretty T Girls most other transgender Yahoo groups we geared either to
the crossdresser or the transsexual, but not to both, and many were either geared towards a
darker side of our world. I think Rachel saw a need, a need for a group that united both the
crossdresser and the transsexual, a group that was clean, informative, and fun.
Sadly this is not the editorial that I intended to write. Ten years, it should be a celebration,
certainly a milestone for any Yahoo group.
As I write, I have to wonder what is the future of our group. Recently Yahoo has made some
really big changes to the format of Yahoo Groups, changes that affect many of the things that
made Pretty T girls special.
One of the major changes affecting us is that photos are no longer saved as jpg images, rather
now each photo album is saved as an html file. In the past I could download all the photos for
each months cover girl contest to my computer and then put them in the magazine either as the
Cover Girl, Calendar Girl, or Angels in the Centerfold for the magazine. I could also place the
group cover pages into photobuckets and then from there do editing to our group page so as to
create a new cover girl each month. No longer can I do that. I do not know how I can convert
the html files to bring out the individual jpg images.
This of course creates a big change not only to our group, but also to the magazine. The only
way we will be able to have a cover girl contest, the only way we can have cover girls for the
magazine now is if those who wish to be cover girl send the photos direct to me. I can create
the albums (I think) and upload the images to it for a contest.
But even here I see problems. Have you tried to find your own personal album now that Yahoo
has changed things? No longer are the albums saved in alpha/numeric order, but now you get
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to either look at the albums that have had the latest changes, or search by the oldest albums.
Also you will have to scan each album to see which album it is.
For the time being at least for anyone who wishes to be a cover girl the only answer I know is
for them to send their photo direct to me [email protected] I will create a cover girl
album for voting purposes and the winner as usual we be on the cover of the magazine with
second place as Calendar girl. Also we will still be able to have our Angels in the centerfold
section this way.
With the number of complaint that have been made about Yahoo Groups new format it can only
be hoped that Yahoo will either revert back to the old format or will come up with something
better than their current neo format.
Changing our group to another server is something that I have considered and some of you girls
have made suggestions of other group sites that we may consider. However for the time being
we will stick to the current Yahoo Group and wait to see if things get any better. Changing
servers though will cost us a tremendous number of members and everything will have to be
built back from the ground up. Nothing will be done without first consulting with the other
moderators and consulting with you the members.
Sparkle Europe’s Largest TG Event.
Hi Ladies
Tasi asked me to write a short summary about the largest TG-Event in Europe, the Sparkle.
This is a festival in the Gay village of Manchester, UK every year, this was the 9. Event. On the
festival they are more than 1000 TG-s mainly from the UK, but form the other part of the
world. We had guests from US from LA, from Germany, Austria, and me from Hungary. For me
it was the 5-th Sparkle, and enjoyed myself very much. TG-s are representing in the whole
scale, from the partly CD to the post op transsexuals, so you can meet interesting people. They
are some extremist, but mainly nice looking girls.
I am a CD, who is living with my wife, so mainly I am in the closet at home .So first of all it is
very nice 3 days to be DRAG, they are looking hotels, where we are fully accepted. The Gay
village is quite big, so you can find appr 15-20 venues, where you can stay, and find your
favorite drink, food, and music.
The event begins on Friday afternoon with a welcome party; there you can find your friends
from the last year and some new guest, who are looking for friends. In the evening they are
some parties and a welcome dinner organized by one of the nicest sister Jenny-Anne for newcomers to get contacted for the next 2 days. Then they are a lot of after parties, when you can
meet the local people from the LGBT community.
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Saturday the whole day the local organize a lot of talks and seminars, where you are informed
about the actual legal issues about the Transgender Equality Action plan in the UK or you can
have some free consultations about facial feminization surgery, or have a confidential
chat with a well qualified psychologist. I talked with him the second time, and it was very
nice , than he could confirm, whether I am on the right way or not.
They are always some TG-s who talk about their transgender journey, and also some film and
photo artist, they show the latest production they have.
It is a very interesting seminar form the Manchester police about self defense demonstration
and discussion on the safety of trans people. It is very nice to see, that it is a big city, where
the police was educated about the trans issue. We have also a trance police there. It would be
too long to write about every of the seminars, but you find always what you are interested on
Saturday.
Than from 12 in Sackwille garden you will find a lot of music on the stall and some pavilions by
the local UK organization, who demonstrates what they do. You can buy some nice wigs,
cosmetics and jewelries . The host organize also nice food and drink for the afternoon.
I had a nice lunch with some friends from UK.
The high attraction is the miss sparkle and miss golden sparkle , I attach some pictures about
it, the first lady is the miss Sparkle 2013. I am very proud, that my friend Joy was the winner
of Miss golden Sparkle 2012, and she was one of the jury in 2013.
If you are interested, you can find a lot of pictures on the web:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/sparkle05/pool/with/9282687979/
In the evening we have a ball with some entertainment, where you can wear your nicest
pieces.
On Sunday at noon it was a very interesting event, first time in Europe the local organization
made a
Trans Remembrance Garden, they opened it. It will be really ready on the Trans Remembrance
day in October, but it was a very heart-stirring moment.
I the afternoon we had at the local MCC church a service for trans people, which is always very
nice, and after it we went for the closing meal in a Indian restaurant outside of the village.
Before my summary is too long, I would like to tell you one more personal experience, I found
on Saturday afternoon in Sackville garden a table with a beautiful Russian lady from the queerstudio T, what is a dressing service in St Petersburg. It was very nice to talk with her, and hear,
that also in Russia our T-sisters can begin to do something open an legal.
I hope, I could give you a little about the feeling in Manchester and I can wish every sisters to
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join one time Sparkle .
All the very best from Budapest
Wilhelmina
4 TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR MAKEUP FRESH ALL NIGHT
LONG
by Deven Hopp
We know that the lifespan of some of your favorite beauty looks can be pretty short-lived, but if
your makeup isn’t making it past happy hour it’s time to make some changes. This weekend,
take a page out of our beauty editor’s handbook and try a few of the fresh makeup tips we swear
by.
Block Shine Before it Begins
Sure you can powder and blot all night long, but an easier way to banish shine is to double up
on your makeup setting spray. Mist once before your makeup application—this layer acts as a
glue to will hold your makeup in place and keep oil at bay. Then mist again when your look is
complete to seal the deal. For oily skin, we’re partial to Urban Decay De-Slick Oil-Control
Makeup Setting Spray.
Stop Eyeliner Smears
Nothing says, “I’m ready to go home” like smeared eyeliner. For eyeliner debacles, go to the
source and swap a defined line for a smoky look. Put down the skinny liners, and pick up a
highly pigmented shadow pencil, like Maybelline Master Smoky Longwearing Shadow-Pencil.
Draw a thick line and smudge it out with the built-in smudger for a sultry look that won’t have
you worrying about smears.
Fight Fading Lip Color
Going for a bold lip? Prep your pout and use a lip stain (we love Hourglass Aura Sheer Lip
Stain and Urban Decay Lip Envy), before you apply your chosen hue. Applying a lip stain acts
as your beauty safety net. Even if your lip color fades as the night goes on, you’ll be protected
from the feathered lipstick and outlined lips that are often left behind after a few cocktails.
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Maintain Freshly Mascara-ed Lashes
Another telltale sign that your makeup is past its peak? Dry, flaking mascara. Keep your lashes
looking lush all evening long by choosing a hydrating and water-resistant formula with a glossy
finish. Moisturizing ingredients fight flake-off, and the word ‘waterproof’ is pretty much a perquisite for a night on the town, but the real key to keeping that fresh mascara feel, is the glossy
finish. Sunday Riley The Influencer Extra Volume Glossy Mascara and Lancôme Hypnôse Star
24H Waterproof Mascara will give you hours and hours of enviable lashes.
Crazy Beauty Tricks that Really Work
By Martha Stewart
The best beauty fixes come from the most surprising places. Beer for your
hair, anyone?
Many of today's top spa treatments take their cues from old-fashioned
home remedies, and there's science to back up the ingredients'
effectiveness. Take a look at our favorites.
Beer
Yeast and hops help to swell the hair shaft and plump the cuticle, adding volume. The acidity of
the beer helps remove built-up product residue. In the shower, after you've shampooed, pour a
bottle of beer over your hair. Rinse briefly with fresh water (the idea is to avoid the Eau de
Barfly effect while retaining the beer's body-boosting benefits). A rich beer with a high yeast
content works best. (Read: No light beer.)
Olive Oil
Rich in vitamin E and fatty acids, olive oil is a Mediterranean-inspired favorite for moisturizing
brittle and overstyled hair.
Before showering, comb several tablespoons of "light" olive oil (it will say so on the label)
through hair, working from roots to ends. Cover hair with a shower cap. After showering for 5
to 7 minutes, remove the cap. Shampoo, rinse, and condition as usual. Hair will feel super soft.
Oatmeal
Soothing and anti-inflammatory, oatmeal contains beta glucan, a soluble fiber that creates a
thin, moisture-retaining film on the surface of the skin. Place a handful of whole oats in a clean
washcloth and use a rubber band to secure it. Next, immerse it in a sinkful of warm water and
squeeze the bag four or five times. Once the water is cloudy, splash it on your face and then
air-dry. (If you must towel dry, pat as gently as possible.)
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Avocado Oil
Avocado oil's abundant fatty acids help balance skin's moisture levels, and the antioxidant
vitamins A, C, and E protect skin from further damage. Combine equal parts avocado oil and
evening-primrose oil (which supports collagen synthesis with its gamma linoleic acid) in a
sealable bottle and shake to blend. Massage five or six drops into clean skin, and then cover
your face with a warm washcloth for a minute to help the oils sink in.
Walnuts
Rich in oil, walnuts make for extra-gentle sloughing. Blend 1/4 cup shelled walnuts, 1/2 cup
olive oil (for extra emollients), and a tablespoon of honey (to seal moisture into your skin) in a
food processor set on a slow speed, creating a fine-particle scrub. Standing in the shower (if
you're scrubbing your feet) or over a sink (if it's for your hands), work the mixture thoroughly
over your skin for a couple of minutes. Rinse with warm water.
Oranges
The fruit acid loosens dead skin cells. Cut a fresh orange in half and squeeze the juice of one
half into a bowl. Add 1/4 cup granulated sugar and 1/4 cup olive oil and then blend into a
moisture-rich scrub. Next, rub the exposed side of the other half of the orange over knees,
elbows, heels, and any other dry spots. Last, rub in the sugar mixture to slough off dead skin.
Rinse with warm water and pat skin dry.
Milk
The lactic acid in milk serves as a gentle skin exfoliant, while its natural fat content acts as a
body moisturizer. Add a gallon of whole milk to a tubful of warm water and soak. It's a great
alternative to sugar and salt scrubs, which may be too abrasive for people who suffer from
eczema, psoriasis, or sensitive skin. If you prefer a fragranced bath, add 10 to 20 drops of an
essential oil, such as lavender.
Eggs
Eggs' high protein content helps improve hair's resilience and luster. Whisk together 1 egg, 2
tablespoons coconut oil (rich in moisturizing fats), and 2 tablespoons sesame oil. Apply the
mixture to dry hair and wrap a hot, moist towel around your head. Relax for 5 to 10 minutes.
Without wetting hair first, work in a handful of shampoo, then rinse and condition your hair.
Apple-Cider Vinegar
The high acidity of apple-cider vinegar makes skin inhospitable to blemish-causing bacteria.
Place a handful of parsley (a skin-clarifying herb) into a French press and cover it with 1/2 cup
of boiling water. Steep for 10 minutes, then plunge and let the liquid cool. Transfer to a spray
bottle along with a splash of vinegar and four drops of tea tree oil (an antiseptic), shake well,
and spritz on a freshly cleansed face. Store the spray bottle in the fridge.
Sour Cream
This thick dairy product makes a moisturizing mask and gentle exfoliant, since its lactic acid
(an alpha-hydroxy acid) helps speed cell turnover, brightening dull complexions. Natural fats
restore skin's moisture.
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Using your fingers, smooth 1 to 2 tablespoons of cool, full-fat sour cream in a thin layer over
your clean face and neck, avoiding the eye and lip areas. Wait 7 to 10 minutes, then remove the
mask with a wet washcloth. Splash skin with warm water and pat dry.
Related: Four Fabulous Braids You Can Do At Home (We Swear!)
Chamomile Tea
Use this soothing beverage to make a calming compress. A natural anti-inflammatory,
chamomile reduces redness and puffiness around the eyes. It also soothes irritated complexions.
Soak a clean washcloth in cool chamomile tea steeped to a golden yellow and apply to the skin
as a compress. (To treat puffy eyes only, roll the washcloth to create an eye pillow.) Rest the
compress on your skin for at least 10 minutes before rinsing and drying.
Almond Oil
This nut oil makes a great hand moisturizer. With a light texture and loads of vitamin E, almond
oil quickly penetrates dry skin and protects hands and nails from environmental damage.
Rub 1 teaspoon of oil into hands and cuticles. Wrap each hand in a small towel, and allow the
oil to penetrate for at least 5 minutes. Wipe the excess oil off hands, but don't rinse them; any
remaining oil will be absorbed over the next few minutes. Follow with a rich hand cream.
Kiwi
The high vitamin C levels in kiwi fight free-radical damage and even out skin texture. When
scrubbed on the face, the seeds act as tiny exfoliators, leaving skin smooth.
Peel and slice a ripe kiwi, then mash the flesh thoroughly with a fork. With circular motions,
work the kiwi paste onto a damp, clean complexion, avoiding the eye and lip areas. After 30 to
60 seconds of scrubbing, rinse skin with warm water and pat dry.
HOW TO: PICK THE RIGHT TOOL TO APPLY FOUNDATION
by Ashley Rebecca
One of the questions clients ask me most frequently, is
whether they should use their fingers, a brush, or a sponge
to apply foundation. My answer? All three methods work,
as long as you know how and when to use each technique.
Here are some guidelines to get you started.
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Brush
A foundation brush should be used when applying liquid foundation to the face. A brush will
give you a flawless finish without wasting a lot of your product, and it also blends much more
evenly than your fingers will. While you can apply liquid foundation with your fingers, you’ll
end up spending more time blending, and usually the results won’t match up to a brush’s ability
to smooth and perfect. Invest in a quality foundation brush and wash it regularly. This will increase the longevity of the brush and make the most of your money!
MDC Tip: Not sure how to clean your brush? Check out our guide to cleaning all of your
makeup tools.
Sponge
If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed, the Beauty Blender Sponge is one of my
favorite tools for blending foundation and concealer on the skin. This is a great tool to use after
you have applied foundation to your face, but want to make sure all areas are buffed to perfection. It also has a tip point that makes blending around the nose and eyes extremely easy if your
brush didn't quite get to those areas. The sponges that you want to avoid using for application
are the white triangular shaped ones. These actually absorb the foundation immediately, causing
you to use more. Utilizing a sponge to help blend instead of applying the product will give you
much better results.
Fingers
The best time to use your fingers is when applying light tinted moisturizers or BB creams.
Since this texture is almost like a moisturizer, the finish is extremely natural, making it easy to
achieve an even skin tone by hand. The most important thing to remember when using your fingers is to make sure they are clean! Wash your hands before every application to avoid spreading oil, dirt, and germs to your face.
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Tips on Eyeshadow – What Color is best
by: Mellissa Lynn
Here's some info on eyeshadow tips and tricks that I've gleaned over time. I'm posting it here
and also in the next issue of the magazine, since you asked. I hope it helps!
"When it comes to picking colors, choose them based on your skin tone and hair color, rather
than trying to match with your outfits. There really are no rules when it comes to this, you can
pretty much choose any shades that you find complimentary to the look you're wearing.
Remember though, it's always best to take the level of formality into consideration when you
choose which colors to use. For example, if you are going for a more dramatic smoky look, it
may be more suited towards evening, and if you are choosing a light summery outfit, you may
want to choose something shimmery, light and more natural, such as bronzes, pinks and
neutrals.
The good news is that you really can't go wrong if you follow a few simple rules. First, you
want to make sure that you always blend, blend, blend! I recommend using duos (sets with 2
shades of a color), since once you begin blending you really are creating a layered, multi shaded
look anyway, and this way you keep the application simple. You would start with the lighter
shade and apply all over the lid, up to the brow bone with the medium size eye shadow brush (I
prefer natural hair brushes, but it really is up to you) and distribute the shadow evenly. You then
take the darker shade and using the tip of the medium brush really pack in the dark shade on the
outer crease, about half way from the outer edge into the centre with a quick "packing" rhythm.
You then take a large, soft bristle shadow brush and just blend it all until you see it's even and
looks the way you want it to. For a more dramatic look you can take a small fine straight tipped
shadow brush and line under your lower lashes with the darker shade. You can then add a light,
metallic spot of shadow on the very inner part of your eye for a bright-eyed look.
It's certainly not important to stock your beauty arsenal with every brush on the market,
however a few key brushes will take you a long way, and the teeny-weeny sponge-tip brush
they include with eye shadow isn't one of them! Just to recap, you will need: one medium size
shadow brush with a fairly sturdy bristle, one larger shadow brush with very soft bristles for
blending, and finally one small angled hard bristle brush for creating a liner effect. (This brush
also doubles as an eyebrow shadow brush, so it's extremely useful!)
Hugz!
Mellissalynn
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Photographs and Memories
By: Randy
Photographs serve a multitude of
purposes. In general, it serves as a memory
maker, a way to look back and enjoy times that
we have had. My desktop runs a slideshow of a
trip that my wife and I took a couple years ago.
In the various groups that I am a part of, photos
are a way for each of us to share who we are to
the rest of the group. Additionally, for myself, it
is a way to see how an outfit or look really comes
together. For me it’s much easier to see the plus
and minus in a photo than in a mirror. When I
view the various photo albums once in a while
various things stand out to me, so I thought I
would throw out a few tips that have worked for
me, not that I am an expert by any stretch of the
imagination. This is of course only my opinion,
your milage may vary, and not in any way meant
to offend.
1) Camera verses Phone
I think that having a phone that takes
pictures is great. The quality of the camera
phone pictures has improved greatly since the
first ones. The thing to remember is that you
have a device that is meant for communication, and picture taking, in spite of the
recent IPhone ads, is secondary. A dedicated camera will give you more control and
better photos. That is their primary purpose, and you can get one that is pretty good
for not much money. The one that I use now is a Kodak that shoots 14 megapixels
and I picked it up at Wal-Mart for about $80. It’s small enough that it fits easily in my
purse. My current phone is a Samsung Galaxy 4 and the camera is a 13 megapixel,
but the photos just don’t seem as sharp and clear to me and being the techno
neophyte that I am, I have trouble figuring out the timer thing on my phone and I have
trouble with the zoom.
2) Ditch the mirror and get a tripod.
If you want good self portraits, get a tripod to affix your camera. You won’t be tied
to a location in front of a mirror. This is also an advantage of the dedicated camera,
because my phone does not have a screw attachment for a tripod. With the use of a
tripod there is not any of the glare or distortion that you get bouncing an image off a
mirror, and you can adjust yourself in a more attractive and lady like pose. You don’t
have one hand holding up the phone in the picture. They have some pretty nifty ones
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for little expense. One I’m considering has legs that you can wrap around and use
about anywhere, and small enough that it’s easy to carry.
3) Quantity gives Quality
Professional fashion shoots the photographer will take hundreds of shots of each
outfit the model is exhibiting. All in the hopes of getting that one perfect shot. One of
the advantages of digital photography is that it doesn’t cost money to take bunches of
pictures. When I do a self portrait session I may take 40 to 50 shots of a single outfit.
Out of that I may only get 2 or 3 that I really like. I gives me the opportunity to try
various poses and stand in differing ways, and differing things with my hands.
4) Be feminine in your poses.
Born with this male body, we have certain attributes that seem to glare in photos.
The shoulders are probably the biggest problem area, and simple to lessen in a photo.
I would not suggest having both hands on your hips at the same time in a photo. That
is how a man stands, and it makes your shoulders seem even wider. An experiment to
try is to stand with both hands on your hips. Point your fingers to your belly button first,
then move your hands so that your fingers are pointing to your spine. If you are like
me, the change seems to bring with it a change in posture to a more feminine stance.
One technique that I have used to help with feminine posture is to stand with one of my
shoulders pointing to the camera, with both feet at a right angle to the camera. Then I
move the foot closest to the camera so it is pointing at the camera. That lessens the
view of your shoulder and puts you in a feminine posture. The photo above may not
seem like I have done that, but if you look you will notice that my left foot is back
farther that my right, and thus my left shoulder is farther away from the camera
lessening the appearance. What to do with my hands has always been the big
problem for me so I do all kinds of things with them. One of the things that has worked
for me is to have something to grasp with one of my hands and in the banister in the
photo above. Experiment and have fun with them, thus the lots of pictures.
5) SMILE
This is the one that gets me the most. So many of the pictures I see are of some
really lovely ladies but for the fact they look like they are at a funeral by the look on
their face. We talk often about the joy we feel when we are able to express our inner
feelings, yet we look depressed. What’s with that? SMILE! Also, women tend to show
their teeth when they smile. This is something that is very hard for me to do, but if I
don’t bear those pearly whites, it looks like a smirk. That’s me, and there are a few of
the ladies that have lovely smiles without showing their teeth. Most of us though need
to open those lips to have a beautiful feminine smile. I’ve also tried that dreamy, looking off in the distance, with the faint trace of a knowing smile on my lips routine. Ends
up looking like I’m lost or drunk. Neither a good look.
Just a few suggestions that have worked for me. Most of all, ladies have fun with it. If
you are having fun, it shows in the photos. See you in the photo albums.
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The Exploits of Barbara Marie
A REFLECTION ON MY TRANSITION
FROM MALE TO A “FEMALE”.
BY
BARBARA MARIE DAVIDSON
I was born in 1943 and it was late in 1945 after the end of WW11 when my father came home.
I remember as a little boy the “ugly” olive drab and brown clothes that boys wore while the
little girls wore the bright and frilly clothes and got all of the “oo” and AA’s” and “Oh how
pretty you are”. I knew then and that I wanted some day to have some of the remarks that the
little girls were receiving. When I was about 8 or 9, I would play in my mother’s make up and
nail polish but was quickly reprimanded as little boys don’t do that short of stuff. I played all of
the boy sports but disliked basketball. In school, I began to notice the girls again and what they
were wearing. It was bad as I was more interested in the clothes they were wearing and would
wonder what I would look like if I were wearing it, than in her. I did enjoy their company
never the less but could never develop that relationship that many of my male friends did.
After high school, I went to the citadel in Charleston, where I stayed for 2 years. I dropped out
in the summer of 1963 and with the help of a family friend went to work in a hospital in the OR
and did ob the job trainingas an operating room technician. The following summer, I went to
nursing school and graduated in 1967. It was a female environment and I enjoyed it. While
there, I met my future wife. Since I had my own apartment and was living by myself for 2 of
the three years I was in school, I could dress while I studied. We got married in November of
1967 after graduation. Since we were basically the same size, I could wear her cloths to a point
and would do it when she was not there. In 1970 about a year after I joined the Navy, she fount
out about my desire to cross dress and was very up set about it. However we loved each other
and I basically sat on the “back burner” for 36 of the 39 years we were married. It is interesting
to note the number of guys that enter the military that are transgendered or transsexual. My
friend in Alabama did 22 years in the air force. I did 20 years in the navy and six years in the
National Guard for 26 years. I know at least 3 more that are retired army, one who is retired
navy and another who is retired air force.
After my wife passed away in 2006, I began my transition. I buried her on a Tuesday, had my
ears pierced on Wednesday and have not looked back. She knew about my desire to cross dress
on occasion but did not approve or even try to understand. Even when she was dying, she tried
to get me to make a death bed promise not to dress. I told her that I would not do it as I could /
would not keep it. Like many “CDER’s” my passion for the finer things in life started at an
early age. After she died, I finally began to learn about make up and how to apply it and of
course practice makes perfect. I sought out a friend that worked at the Clinique counter at one
of the local department stores. She was quite happy to color code me and show me the tips on
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how to use it. After work I would come home and put it on and take it off several times each
day. Once a week I would go to her just before closing for her to give me a critique on my
progress as I had 50 years to “catch-up up on”. I tried cover girl. However, I soon realized that,
in my case – Cover Girl did not always cover guys. It was good to practice with but nothing
else, although I have some “friends” that swear by it.
As time went on I began to become more of a clinique girl as I started using all of their
products. Today I still use all of their products including their moisturizers and cleansing
creams. At about the same time, I began to learn more about taste in cloths and my attitude
about shopping and cloths began to change. In my “Bubba” mode shopping was not in my
vocabulary. As a young boy I hated to shop and would tell my mom, bring it home and I would
wear it. As I got older, some of my friends became more fashion conscious as to boys/men’s
clothing. I could care less. I did however began to respect and pay attention more to the ladies
and girls fashions, but did not know at the time whom or what a cross-dresser was.
After I got married, I began to notice and appreciate what my wife was wearing as she had good
(but expensive) taste in clothes. Most women do as they are taught from an early age how to
mix and match clothes. At their PJ parties, they would teach each other about makeup, outfits
along with their girl talk or occasional pillow fight.. Boys mostly would play army, or play
with the “boy toys”, talk about the girls or occasionally may have a pillow fight as well. I was
no different but there was something always missing in my life. As our marriage progressed, I
begin to learn about women’s sizes and how to mix and match as I would watch my wife shop.
(Now I love to shop, try on stuff mix and match, my taste changed and was no longer in my
mouth but in my head. The one thing I could/can never change is my shoe size. I am a
woman’s 11 - no if’s and’s or but’s, an 11. It is had to find a nice pair of 11 in the stores as most
only go to a 10. The others must be ordered. From 1969 until 1989 I was a nurse in the US
Navy. My dressing was mostly curtailed for obvious reasons.
My daily routine after she passed away was to get up in the morning and after my shave and
shower routine was to moisturize my face and put ob a sports bra as well as a pair of panties,
followed by my scrub suit as I worked in a hospital and went to work. In the afternoon I would
change to something more comfortable. (Even before my wife passed away, I began wearing
androgynous style clothes. as my slacks were women’s as well as most of my tops as there were
either pull over or with buttons but were women’s never the less.). I retired from my regular
(civilian) job in May 2008.
In 2007, I became a member of Tri Ess, as well as a member of Sigma Epsilon, the Atlanta
chapter of Tri Ess. I went to Atlanta for one weekend a month and met the other members. This
went on for about 5 years ever month. I even went to the Southern Comfort Conference three
times, 2008, 9 and 10. As time went on, I began to spend less and less time in my guy mode.
I would occasionally have to be or attend some functions in my guy mode. It was a “pill” to
have to run home change my clothes, hope I got all of the make up off and so fourth. It was
about this same time I began HRT getting my hormones on line at the In House Pharmacy with
out a prescription or being followed by a doctor, which was a mistake as I was not taking
enough hormones due to the cost - $300.00 for about a 3month supply. Once I started it under a
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doctor’s care with the right dose, it was $18.00 co pay every 3 months from wall marts with Tri
Care picking up the remainder of the bill. In October of 2009, I made a decision as I was
getting tired of living s double life. I decided it was time for a change.
On November 1st, 2009, I walked out of my front door as Barbara and left Bill on the floor or in
the closet forever. I have not looked back. About the same time I had a friend who was a
clinical psychologist at Georgia southern, but she could not help me professionally as I was not
a student enrolled at the College. She did the next best thing as she put me in touch with a
friend of hers who was also a clinical Psychologist in Statesboro. I saw her several times and
expressed my feelings and desires. She wrote me a letter of reference to a Family practice
doctor in Aiken SC who had about 25 or 30 transgendered patients. After seeing him, my HRT
bill when down to the cost mentioned above. After a year of living my daily life as a female, my
psychologist wrote me another letter stating that I had met all of Benjamin’s guidelines should I
desire further exploration and possible SRS surgery. I have not regretted the decisions that I
have made since my wife of 39 years passed away. I am beginning to feel like a whole person
again. I am still heterosexual, SRS(GSR) is out of the question as I am also 70 years young.
There have been some us and downs among the folks my wife and I associated with in the past.
Some will speak to me and some will not. It(I) is their loss as far as I am concerned. However,
closer to home, I have two granddaughters I have not seen in over three years because my son
in law will not let my daughter tell the girls about me. Her twin brother got married 2 years ago
to a wonderful lady with twin girls. They (the twins) never knew me as a male thus they have
no problem with me keeping the girls, ect. My oldest son is getting married shortly and she has
two children from a previous marriage. They have not told her children about me either and I
am not sure when or if they will tell them. There are a number of you who may be able to relate
to this due to things that may have occurred in your transition.
In 2011, I had the photo on my driver’s license changed to reflect my feminine profile and did
away with my Transgender ID card, as I no longer needed it. Early in 2012, I decided that I
was ready for another change and I started the paperwork for a name legal name change. By
doing it my self it was only $320.00. If I had done it through a lawyer, it would have been
twice that much or more. That was easy. The aftermath was horrible, as I had to change my
driver’s license, social security card, bank accounts, Medicare card and all of my credit cards to
reflect my new name. I did find out that as “Bill” I had an excellent credit rating. But, as
Barbara, I had no credit rating although I had the same social security number. After sending a
letter of explanation and a copy of my name change, and a copy of each of my social security
cards to Equifax, Barbara had “her” excellent credit rating restored.
However the name change was not the only change I made in 2012. I had been on HRT for
about 3 or 4 years and had very little breast development. I did not make even make it to a
small A cup. A friend who started about a year after me developed basically a small A cup. She
is also 15 years my junior so that might have had something to do with it. In December of 2011,
she went to Plano Texas and came back to Alabama a female. In May of 2012, we both saw a
plastic surgeon and in June, we both had a augmentation mammoplasty. I had mine in Savannah
and am a 38C. She had hers in Texas and is a 36 D (guess they do things bigger in Texas). I am
quite happy now with what I have.
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Have I regretted what I have done with my life over these past few years? The answer is NO as
for the first time I feel like a whole person again. I was about 63 or 64 when I started my
transition and I just turned 70 in May. The only thing that still reminds me of being male is that
useless appendage (due to age and HRT) between my legs. It is never too late to have happiness
in your life. I do miss the times when I was younger being able to do the girl things that now I
am trying hard to learn. Things that comes natural to a female of my age. Since 2008, I have
written over 50 articles about my life during my transition. Below are a few of my titles.
A FRIENDS TRANSITION FROM MALE 2 FEMALE
A QUICK HISTORY – 2011
MY NON TRADITIONAL MAKEOVER
HAVE YOU EVER CHANGED YOUR NAME
HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR CLOTHES ALTERED?
THE DAY THE SISTERS WENT SHOPPING
THE NIGHT MY SON AND I WENT SHOPPING
MY 50TH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION
The rest are some of the day-to-day activities that helped me in my transition and most can be
found in previous PTG Magazines.
Yours
Barbara Marie Davidson
AUGUST 2013
Suzi's Theory on Why So Many "T" People Seem to Pop from
the Closet Later in Life
By: Suzi Jet
One possible cause for suppression of fetal testosterone activity could be maternal stress. When
a person is under stress his/her adrenal glands secrete high levels of another steroid called
corticosterone (or hydrocortisone). This hormone, being a steroid, readily crosses the placenta
and travels to the fetal brain, where it suppresses the release of the pituitary hormones FSH and
LH, resulting in turn in a reduction of testosterone production. The first demonstration of a
linkage between maternal stress and incomplete fetal masculinization came from a study
examining males born in NAZI Germany during the latter stages of World War II. Because of
the crumbling of the Third Reich and the intense bombing operations, mothers were under
extreme stress throughout their pregnancies. The records reveal an extraordinarily high
incidence of male homosexuality in this population, compared with control populations, thus
supporting the maternal stress hypothesis. (Suzi note - I've seen references to the same cause
and effect in Russia during the war.)
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Homosexuality may or not be very different from transvestism in origins, but I believe that both
conditions may have a connection. I further believe that transsexualism is related to these
underlying factors. What then determines the outcome of perturbations to one's hormonal
environment in utero? I would say that two factors are critical. First, obviously, is the
magnitude of the perturbation. Different brain and body systems may require different levels of
testosterone in order to be masculinized, and masculinization may not be an all-or-nothing
phenomenon. Thus, different testosterone levels may be associated with different magnitudes of
masculinization and with different combinations of masculine and feminine development
throughout the brain and body.
Perhaps more critical is the timing of the testosterone suppression, as different body systems
develop and sexually differentiate at different times throughout fetal development. Testosterone
suppression very early in pregnancy may result, for instance, in a failure to masculinize the
hypothalamus, which arguably could result in female-patterned sexual preference, hence
homosexuality, during adulthood. Testosterone insufficiency at later stages could result in
failure to masculinize numerous other brain systems, including perhaps the cerebral cortex very
late in development. As a result, the adult's cognitive patterns could be very feminine, although
socialized artificially into masculine patterns. This condition could underlie gender identity
disorders such as transvestism and transsexuality.
Sarah asked about 50 "T" people about the possibility that their mothers had stressful
pregnancies. I continue to ask that of "T" people that I know and there seems to be a high
correlation. The overwhelming majority of those people, including myself, can identify
conditions that might have caused their mothers to be stressed during pregnancy. Maybe some
"T" in a PhD program could make this a thesis topic so it gets a bit more scientific.
Why the late blooming CD/TV/TS? My theory is simple - if a boy gets patterned a bit towards
the female side of the spectrum he may be covered by the available testosterone (and maybe a
lot of other factors like not fully understanding his "feelings" or the options) until sometime
later in life. However, when the testosterone level drops then the female side will come popping
into his life with all kinds of consequences. It may be a mid-life crisis that seeks to cover the
issue with more sex (and maybe a new, younger partner.) Or it may be "feelings" that can no
longer be contained in the closet. Drugs, alcohol, depression and a bunch of other problems
have been reported by "T" people that I know, which were "cured" when they finally let their
other personalities out of the closet. Some go all the way to transition while others are satisfied
at something that is far short of a transition (like just being Suzi occasionally.) The response is a
scale not a set of absolutes, as is the underlying condition.
I think the same thing may apply to people who transition young. If they "feel" like girls (or
guys) but are in the wrong body, then as the hormone levels change they may quickly get to the
point where they are so in the wrong body that it is either death or fix the problem. Talk with
enough people who have transitioned and you hear this same story over and over again.
Let me sum up what Sarah has already said. If there are physical causes for being anywhere on
the "T" spectrum (and by that I mean other than cleanly at the male/female ends) then it has
implications for a lot of things like legal treatment/rights and health insurance coverages.
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Courts in divorce cases shouldn't hold being a TV/CD/TS against someone if it isn't a "choice"
but has a physical basis. Likewise for transsexuals who require HRT, electrolysis and
eventually SRS, it should all be covered as if they have any other birth defect.
This is probably more than I know and now you know it also. It may or may not be scientific,
but is is based on a lot of stories that seem to fit the pattern. If you read this, the light came on
and you found yourself in the picture - welcome to the club. You actually have a lot of company
and if you come over to Susan's Chat you will find a lot of nice people who understand and can
maybe answer some of your questions. Just tell them that Suzi sent you :~).
If you have any comments, do send me an email. But please don't ask me any deep, technical
questions because what you have here is about all I know.
Tasi’s Musings, October, 2013
Greetings from Merida
I have a close male friend that is Mexican to the bone who enjoys writing about daily life here. I thought this piece about “What Does Mexico
Mean” was particularly interesting.
The word Mexico is the combination of the words in Nahuatl
“moon” (Metztli) and “navel or belly button” (Xictli). So Metztlixictli
with the pass of time developed to its modern form of MEXICO. This
"navel of the moon" concept has tortured scholars for many years.
While the Aztec moon is a symbol of the never ending battle between
good and evil. It represents for me that no matter the pain, the suffering, even in the darkest scenario there will always be a light.
Navel is the earliest and most intimate connection of any living creature to life. Through that
mystic bond we are finally connected to mother earth. No man has ever provided a child with a
navel. Early Mexican women who died giving birth were literally considered goddess since
they had the sublime first duty of bringing men to life.
While women are meant for life, men are meant for war according to the Aztecs. With such a
combination of elements, I believe Mexico’s destiny is where both men and women are meant
to suffer, to struggle endless challenges of life but no matter how hard it gets, how helpless all
our daily efforts might seem. We, all children of this chosen land, can be confident that we
made the right choice. As any loving mother We, Mexico's children, are hopelessly condemned
to be led by her moonlight in the dark to a safer new bright beginning
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In the News
Cassidy Lynn Campbell, Transgender Teen,
Named Homecoming Queen. Campbell, a 16year-old student at Marina High School in
Huntington Beach, was shocked when blue and
gold balloons revealed she had won the crown on
Sept. 20, according to KTLA. "I instantly just
dropped to the ground and started crying," she
said.
She is the first transgender homecoming queen at
Marina High School and hopes that her win
echoes outside her town. Unfortunately, a You Tube video one day later has Cassidy crying
over the volume of hate mail received, but fortunately the positive mail was much greater.
On Trial in Texas: The Transitioned Status of Trans People….the case of Nikki Araguz. This
one could have impact on all of us.
On Passing as a Woman. This is not a how to but rather a serious blog post on how the criteria
of passing is it’s own form of transphobia. Of course it’s written by a transsexual, one who
faces the world every day as a trans-woman.. Certainly cis-women come in all shapes and sizes
and degrees of beauty, yet trans-women are held to a higher standard. Should we be concerned?
You decide!
We won one. Chris Penner, the owner of this Portland, Oregon bar, then
called the Portsmouth Club, was given numerous opportunities during
this year long investigation by the state to resolve the issue, but he
remained defiant to the end, believing he did not discriminate against
trans people. The state disagreed, and as a result, Oregon Labor
Commissioner Brad Avakian’s office ordered Penner to pay $400,000
to the trans patrons he booted from his bar.
European Court Rejects Religious 'Right to Discriminate'. The
European court of human rights flatly rejected an appeal Tuesday requested by a trio of British
Christians, two of whom were hoping to receive a
religious
exemption
from
the
county's
nondiscrimination law because they did not want to
counsel or serve same-sex couples.
The case was brought by three Christians who each
allege they were unfairly disciplined by their respective
employers for their beliefs, according to London's
22
Guardian. On Tuesday, judges in the court's grand chamber, its highest court and the last
chance for appeals, rejected the requests, effectively ending the legal challenge.
Transgender Latina creates safe haven for multicultural LGBT community. When 42-year-old
Ruby Corado was 16, her parents had her immigrate to the United States from El Salvador to
escape the civil war. She says that when she arrived in Washington D.C. in 1986, she noticed
that there were very few resources for Latinos in the area, and none for LGBT Latinos. Read
this amazing story.
Indonesian Care Home Looks After Elderly
Transgender People. This is one really
wonderful story. JAKARTA, INDONESIA
- MAY 10: Indonesian transgender Mami
Yuli (L) jokes with fellow transgender Oma
(Grandma) Yoti Oktosea at Mami Yuli's
home for elderly transgender people, or
'waria' as they are referred to in Indonesian
language, on May 10, 2013 in Jakarta,
Indonesia. Yulianus Rettoblaut, or Mami
Yuli as she is called by friends, a 51 year
old transgender activist has founded a home
for elderly waria, who he says have
particular trouble when they become older
as they often have no family to help them in
old age. (Photo by Ed Wray/Getty Images)
Books and Movies
Kinky Boots, on Broadway,. What Is Kinky Boots Like? Winner of six 2013 Tony Awards,
including Best Musical, Kinky Boots features the first-ever Broadway score by Grammy winner
Cyndi Lauper (who became the first female solo songwriter to win a Tony) and a hilarious yet
moving book by four-time Tony winner Harvey Fierstein. The new musical packs a punch and
provides everything audiences look for in a night at the theater: catchy songs, top-notch
performances, colorful costumes, big sets, dazzling dance sequences and even a few scenes that
could make you cry. Despite numbers set at a drag club, Kinky Boots is much more than a drag
queen musical; it touches on the universal themes of father/son relationships and accepting
others for who they really are.
Dressed To Kill. A new TV show sponsored by Glamour Magazine. Getting the look just right
is an overall challenge in the first competition of Glamour's head-to-head stylist showdown.
Watch as Whitney Port and a panel of Glamour editors decide which stylist knows how to
Dress to Kill. This episode, What to Wear to the Ballpark, is one of four shows so far. You can
see it on You Tube
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Fashion and Beauty
This is just a feel-good piece by Helene Barclay who bills herself as a transvestite. Outside the
U.S. the term “transvestite”, or whatever the local language equivalent is, is a commonly accepted term and doesn’t carry quite the negative connotations as here. But listen to Helene tell
why she loves to crossdress
Real Life Barbie. We’ve had stories of women turning themselves into replicas of a Barbie
Doll, now read how one trans-person spent 200,000 British pounds to become a Barbie
Why fashion designers hate Plus-Size. When online fashion retailer ModCloth decided to
expand its plus-size offerings, Chief Creative Officer Susan Koger reached out to the company's
1,500 vendors for help. Only 35 responded that they were willing to do plus-size collections.
"Our community drives most of our decisions, and they were giving feedback that they wanted
plus-size clothing," Koger told us. "The hesitation [from vendors] was surprising to me as a
business person because I see an opportunity to sell a lot more clothing."
Despite the initial setback, ModCloth is charging forward to offer a variety of plus-size clothing. Now, about 100 vendors have agreed to do the lines. .Check our ModCloth ad in the Sister
House Library
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Comportment, demeanor, dress, grooming, and overall appearance
constitute the first levels of information about ourselves that we
offer to the observing world.
Dressing with care means finding clothing that fits and suits your unique
figure, giving thought to the day’s activities and participants before
choosing your ensemble, and selecting garments that make you feel
comfortable, powerful, proud, and truly yourself.
Flattering clothing doesn’t pull, pinch, or subdivide. Flattering clothing
works with your eyes, hair, and skin tone. Hold a solid block of color
next to your gorgeous visage. Wrap it all the way around your face with
a thatch of your hair peeking out. Look in a mirror in a well-lit room and
ask yourself these questions: Does it brighten or dull your eye color?
How does it play off your hair color? Do you look healthy and robust, or
wan and sickly?
Training your eye to identify flattering styles takes time and practice.
But it also takes an intimate knowledge of your figure. Understanding
your body’s unique shape is essential to locating clothing that will flatter
your shape,… You need to know about your shape and proportions to
effectively evaluate clothes—
Learn how by following our astounding writers at Sister House.
Humor
13 HYSTERICAL Pictures Of Kids Who Did Their OWN MAKE
UP! You don’t want to miss these. Click the next button to the
right of each picture to see all thirteen amazing photographs.
How do you make a guy wear a dress. To some this story is a
dream come true. It sounds just a little unbelievable to me, but it’s
a fun read.
So until next month
Hugs……Tasi
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Humor
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair
styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange
clothing, entered... It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so
she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic
hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry... Had to mow the lawn.'
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies and sagging
pants, arrive. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I’ll be right back."
St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to
Peter:
"How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are
loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's
chambers and says, “Well, they're gone."
“The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.
"No. The Pearly Gates."
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De
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Angels In The Centerfold
Sally
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Br
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Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks
It’s October, ladies! Fall is in full swing, the pumpkins are carved and sitting on the porch
steps, and very soon it will be time for the fun of donning scary or special or sexy costumes and
wandering the streets! If you can’t tell, I’m talking about my favoritest of all holidays,
Halloween.
It’s been a long hard month leading up to getting ready for the holiday, though. I’ve been
feeling rather poorly recently, mainly due to a lack of sleep. Some issues have come up with
the family (mainly financial), that have had me
puzzling on ways to improve our situation, and
frankly, sleep has been hard to come by. But the
light at the end of the tunnel is beginning to shine,
and I think we’re out of the woods.
One of the biggest parts of the issue is that we’re
going to have to move away from our happy little
country home soon. My wife’s job has migrated to
a different city and now she’s driving an hour each
way to keep it. On top of that, my military health
care is undergoing a radical change in October;
essentially, I have to move within forty miles of a
base or a base that was closed by the Pentagon in the
1990s to continue receiving health care affordably.
So, bottom line, I’m trying to work out the finances
of my family moving when I graduate. Oh, did I
mention that I’m on track to finish school in
December? That’s another stressor; I’m busting my
cute girly butt to be able to graduate on time. So
far, I’m doing well.
And how is life with all of you? Any great stories to
share, or issues, or just well wishes to me on my
impending graduation? I’d love to hear them!
E-mail me at [email protected]. I’ll
answer any and all mails I receive. I love hearing
from you!
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Our faces lose color as we age, leading to a washed out complexion that makes blush all the
more important. Blend a cream formula onto the apples of your cheeks for a lit-from-within
glow. There are other factors that can contribute to this, such as smoking, which can cause your
face to appear dull due to the substances in cigarette smoke that get trapped in the skin. And of
29
course, the sun always plays a factor. But age is the one point that we have absolutely no
control over; all we can do is try to counter its effects. Here are some pointers on how to do
that.
Dark bags under the eyes can age you, but caking on the concealer can draw attention to the
problem. Choose a richly pigmented, creamy stick concealer, which gives you coverage without
having to cake on product.
As we age, our lips become thinner, and dark lip colors actually make the mouth look smaller.
Stick to bright or light-colored lipsticks and add a dab of gloss in the center to plump your pout.
Solid dark eye liner can be very harsh, creating sharp lines that can bring out crow’s feet and
make eyes look smaller. Thick liner on the upper lashes can also make lids look heavier.
Instead, line only the outer three quarters of the eye, and smudge your liner with a Q-tip or
angled brush to soften the look. Use a brightening shade to highlight the inner corners.
You’ve been told time and time again, applying mascara on the lower lashes will make your
eyes look bigger. But when you get older, this trick can actually make eyes look droopy.
Instead, stick to emphasizing the upper lashes to keep your look from becoming bottom-heavy.
Eyebrows actually thin and fade with age, which is why fuller brows make most faces look
more youthful. Use an angled brush to fill in sparse brows with a powder one shade lighter than
your natural brow color.
Wearing bronzer over the entire face can make you look older. Instead stick to the ‘C’
formation: on the temples, along the sides of the face and right under the cheekbones.
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Here's a professional tip for making your lipstick last longer. After applying your first coat,
blot. There is a lot of oil in lipsticks, and by blotting, you remove some of that oil without
taking the color off. This leaves a drier a surface for the second coat to grab. An alternate
method of doing this is to fill in your entire lip with a lip pencil first, then apply your color.
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While I'm on the subject of lip liner, let me toss out a small reminder. There are two ways to
choose your liner; it should either match your lipstick perfectly, or match the skin tone of your
lips. The line of demarcation where your lip liner is visible against your lipstick should be
avoided at all costs!
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A client named Rhonda came into the school a few weeks ago with makeup questions regarding
her glasses. She's of the opinion that her makeup routine needs some tweaking to make her
glasses complement her appearance instead of detracting from it (those were her words). After
30
we convinced her that her glasses weren't a problem for her at all, we did some research and
found a few tips that might help others with this question as well.
1. Use a soft shade to play up the eyes. Rhonda has rather dark frames, which already add
definition to her eyes. A heavier liner or smoky dark eyes will create too heavy a look. Instead,
choose a medium-toned neutral.
2. Keep lashes streamlined. Lenses can accentuate and magnify any clumps. Instead of using a
volumizing mascara, which can look too heavy when accentuated by glasses, opt for a
lengthening formula and remember to comb and separate.
Lighten up your concealer. Just as lenses put lashes on display, they emphasize the under eye
area as well. Watch out for cakey concealer under the eyes, and instead opt for sheer, light
reflective pigment concealers.
Prettify the look. Since thick frames like Rhonda’s can look a tad masculine, try adding a
feminine girly touch in contrast to dark glasses with pretty cheeks and lip stains in berries or
melon shades.
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Georgia May Jagger, model and Mick’s daughter, broke a beauty rule at a party in Australia
recently, and now I'm dying to try this out on someone. The model extended her black eye liner
all the way down past the inner corners of her eyes and onto the bridge of her nose. I've always
been told that liner should start just outside the inner corners of the eyes and a highlight shade
should go in that little triangle...but this little trick gave her eyes more of an almond shape. You
learn something new every day! One note: this look can create the illusion of the eyes being
closer set than they really are, which is fine for wide set eyes; if your eyes are close set already,
this may not work so well for you.
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This tip comes from a recent hair experience at school. A lady came in with so much fringe
(fringe = bangs) on her forehead that we could barely see her eyes. She was an older lady, and
this look really aged her even more. A too-heavy fringe closes off your face and makes your
eyes look smaller. What we did was to give her a more broken up, feathery fringe that let her
face show. It took ten years off her looks!
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Here are a few ideas on how to make thin lips look more full.
1. Use a lip liner. Select a liner that is just a fraction of a shade darker than the lipstick you’re
using — no darker — to draw around the outside line of your lips. By applying the darker liner
on the outside of the mouth, it will create a subtle 3D effect that makes lips look plumper.
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2. Highlight the outline. Making the outline of the lips lighter will create the illusion of
bringing them forward. Use a highlighter to outline the top lip and the groove that runs from the
top of the lip to nose, as well as the Cupid’s bow.
3. Try blending two lipsticks. When your lipstick gradually gets lighter in the center of the lips,
it creates the appearance of fuller lips. Apply your lipstick to the entire lip, then add a slightly
lighter shade or a shimmery gloss in the center of both your top and bottom lips, blending with
a brush.
4. Try a lip plumper. Many lip plumpers have special ingredients that help to increase the lips’
natural production of collagen, while others temporarily swell the lips.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
This tip is for the ladies who can wear their polish for a longer period of time. To keep it fresh
and ship-proof, use a top coat with amino acids. The amino acids give the polish some
flexibility, and lets it bounce back from light nicks, as well as the stretching that comes with
new growth.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Do you do a lot of hard work with your hands that
leaves them rough and, well, manly? Here's a home
remedy to soften the skin and give you a more
feminine feel. Soak your hands for about ten
minutes in a mixture of honey and orange juice,
then wash off and pat dry. Apply a hand cream or
lotion and let it soak in for a few minutes. After a
few applications, your skin will become much
softer, and will feel better as well.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
And now, in this month's episode of Mellissa's
Germ Phobia, a quick dermatology lesson for you
all! This is how to tell if you have dry, normal,
combination, or oily skin. Take a good magnifying
glass, preferably one that has a built in light, and
look at your face in the mirror. What do your pores
look like, specifically the pores on your forehead,
running down and alongside your nose, and on your
chin? This is the area that's called the T-zone.
Let me clarify something before I go further. When I say dry skin, I'm not referring to moisture
as in water. This refers to how much sebum, or oil, the skin is producing. The oil the face
produces is what keeps the skin elastic and wrinkle-free. As we age, the skin produces less oil,
32
and the wrinkles begin to appear.
Conversely, if your skin makes too much oil, you can see breakouts of either whiteheads or
blackheads. This is what truly happens when you have acne; the skin is producing too much
oil. While cleansing the skin certainly helps in regards to keeping off dirt and removing dead
skin cells, removing the excess oil is what really helps prevent breakouts. And this is why,
girls, I always tell you to be careful about getting things on your skin. Germs can be trapped in
the oils your face produces and cause more serious breakouts.
Back to the T-zone! If your pores are small, you have dry skin. Normal skin (the rarest type,
and the most coveted) will have pores ranging from medium-sized to smaller as you spread out
along the sides of the face. Combination skin will have larger to medium sized pores.
Therefore, oily skin will have larger pores all around.
One last note about cleansing your skin. You can in fact over-cleanse. If you feel your skin get
all squeaky and smooth, you've removed too much oil. The skin needs some to be able to
lubricate itself. Apply a moisturizer if this happens.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
This is a pro trick from the New York Fashion Week. You can use this to open up your eyes
and make them appear larger. Apply a sharp black stroke of eye liner along the top lashes, and
pair that with a smudged black pencil along the lower lash line. Don’t go all the way to the waterline, though; take a nude pencil for that area, and don’t connect the black liner at the corners.
What this will do is to not close the eye up, but to create the illusion of a bigger eye.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
One of my instructors showed me a trick to applying nail polish that haz drastically increased
the quality of my work on nails. It's nothing that none of you can't do; it's a matter of being
patient. SO often, especially with a client in the chair, I tend to try to rush through my polish
applications, and that's where you can go wrong. Let a coat dry before applying the next. My
instructor says anywhere from one to two minutes between coats is an ideal wait time. So far,
this seems to be accurate; I've been trying to be more patient now for the last two weeks, and
the nails I've done have dramatically improved, so much that I'm starting to get repeat
customers for my nail work.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
You’ve heard it time and time again. The trick to makeup is that it should look natural — the
“no makeup makeup look.” But that flawless look is impossible to achieve if foundation and
blush lines are visible. These tips will show you how to blend your makeup seamlessly without
a smudge or line in sight.
1. Never blend your eye shadow with the same brush you used to apply it. Instead of blending,
you’re just applying more shadow because there is still product on the brush. And if you’re
33
working with more than one shade, i.e. a smoky eye, you are spreading all of the colors around
the entire eye area. Instead, use a clean brush and blend by sweeping the brush back and forth in
a large windshield wiping motion, followed by smaller circles.
2. When applying bronzer, never brush the product in a straight line. Instead Sephora Pro David
Thibodeau recommends applying in soft, sweeping motions. This sculpts angles on the face,
such as under the cheekbones and along the jaw line, without looking harsh.
3. Before you apply foundation, prepare your skin with a moisturizer and primer to create a
flawless canvas. Then apply foundation with a damp sponge. Blend starting in the center of the
face and work your way out. Apply the product by dabbing, not brushing across. This
eliminates any lines along the forehead or jaw. Also, don’t forget to blend foundation into the
neck for more realistic coverage.
4. While smiling, sweep a medium-size brush with powder blush from the apple of your cheek,
up along your cheekbone and to the top of your ear. Again, make sure to always swirl the
product so you don’t end up with harsh lines. An important tip to remember: skip the big
powder brushes. The bigger the brush, the less your blush will register on the skin because it’s
being applied to such a large surface area.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
And so, the column comes to an end. Go forth and
enjoy your Halloween! I know I'm going to.
While I'm not at all certain if I'm going to get to go
to the CUI meeting this month, due to there being
a very important birthday on that date, I will at
least get to dress up for the day itself, and at
school, no less! While Supergirl is pretty much
retired for this year, as all and sundry feel I've
been in her uniform too many times, I have my
Starfleet costume to wear as an alternative. Of
course, there WILL be pictures...and here’s a
recently discovered one of my Supergirl from last
year, just to kind of say farewell to the Maid of
Might.
If you have pictures to share, or Halloween stories,
or just want to talk, you know how to reach me.
The address is [email protected] ; the in
-box has plenty of room, so fill it up!
All right, ladies, have a great month and we'll chat
again next month about fall and turkeys and other
wonderful subjects. Bye!
34
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
by: Judy Danials
The doctor meets Judy
Twice a year I visit the doctor, once for a physical, the other for a full blood screen. If
you will recall I came out to my doctor on my last visit as I discovered shortly before my
appointment that I couldn't get my toe nail polish off due to it being baked on under UV
light, that and I was wearing acrylic nails. So I figured since she already knew she
might as well see the real thing on this visit.
My outfit of choice was a blousy camisole top, short shorts and sandals. I was a bit
nervous as I entered the hospital and made my way to the 3rd floor, but it didn't seem
that I had brought any unwanted attention to myself so by the time I had gotten to the
registration desk I was feeling just fine.
I told the women behind the desk that I had an 8:40 appointment with Dr. Juhl and she
replied, Dan? I said yes, she then asked my last name and birth date and I replied.
Next she asked if I wanted to take care of my co payment now and I said sure and
handed her my credit card. She then directed me to the far end of the waiting area and
said a nurse will be with you shortly.
About 5 minutes later a familiar face came out from the hallway and called out Daniel!
It was Jan, the nurses assistant I had while I was seeing Dr. Fischer. As you might
recall, I've had 3 different doctors since she left to take a job with BCBS. As she took
me down the hallway to get weighed in she said, you look a little different from the last
time I saw you, I said, just on the outside, I'm still the same underneath with a chuckle,
she said, well good, that will save me a few questions then.
She then took me further down the hallway to another room and processed to go over
the medications I'm on and take my blood pressure, which I was afraid was going to be
a little high due to being a nervous. I'm one of those people that have an extreme case
of white coat syndrome and on top of being dressed I figured it might be high. She
said, not bad 132/70, but I'm sure the doctor will want to take it again. She then left and
said the doctor will see you in a few minutes.
Well, it was more like 15 minutes, but eventually Dr. Juhl appeared and didn't seem
thrown by my appearance a bit. I assume as a doctor she's probably seen more
unusually sites. After going over medications and all the vitals of my blood work she
took my BP again, this time it was 124/68, so it was determined that I would live to see
another day, perhaps several. She told me to sit tight and Becky would be in to set up
my next appointment for my annual physical
35
A few minutes later in walks a 20 something young thing and asks how I have been, I
said fine with a little hesitation, she said, you don't recognize me do you, I said no. I'm
Becky, Tom's girlfriend, I said Tom ?, you know Trevor's brother, I said oh, OK, I'm
sorry, but I'm not used to seeing you outside a social setting, seeing people at work
kind of throws me. To be truthful I think I had only met her once and that was only a
very brief visit, but I let on like I remembered her well. You do what you need to do in
situations like this, but frankly it’s probably a lot easier for people to remember a guy in
a dress than the other way around. We set my appointment, said our goodbyes and I
made my way out to the waiting room and elevators.
By now it was quite busy and that nervousness returned, none the less I entered the
elevator with a gentlemen on a scooter and all was well. My thoughts now turn to my
next visit, not sure if it’s worth going dressed as it’s a physical and everything will have
to come off. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Judy (what's next) sometimes
10 Shoes Can Become 100 Shoes at Very
Little Cost
Tasi Zuriack | (Reprinted from TG Forum)
I recently did a poll on Sister House about the number of shoes
that our ladies own and while the results were not surprising,
they were interesting. Of 133 respondents about half owned 10
pairs of shoes or less. Two ladies owned more than 100 pairs
which put them into the realm of having a home shoe store. I
personally have between 11 and 20 pair, but a girl always needs
more and it has been a struggle not to whip out the ole credit
card when I see all the fantastic shoes my buyer has found for the
Sister House Boutique. I could easily become a shoe maven.
So that raises the question on the title of this article — how do I
turn those ten shoes that most of us have into the 100 pair of
shoes that is my heart’s desire without breaking the bank? And
the answer is “Shoe Jewelry.”
36
Now we all know that shoes are one of life’s necessities for most of us women, and in
reality we have no intention of getting along with just a few pair, but even if you have
an Imelda Marcos shoe closet, wouldn’t you like each of those sweeties to take on
multiple lives? Why shouldn’t your favorite black strappy sandals have the chance to
go out one evening wearing chiffon flowers or rhinestone bows? You can even turn
that $29.95 Target special, basic black heel into a marvelous looking and dressy
evening shoe that will have people thinking you spent $150 for them. That’s where
shoe clips come in.
And it becomes doubly important if you are unfortunate enough
to have large feet and finding a well fitting size 15 to 17 shoe
just limits the number and style of shoes in your wardrobe. Voila,
no longer a problem. Or if you are long waisted (that’s me) like
many men, then your legs are proportionately shorter and you
need to project the image of longer legs (without a mini-skirt,
ladies). A beautiful rhinestone on the tip of your toes draws the eye downwards and
lengthens the look of your legs.
So, from fancy crystal brooches to simple bows, chic shells, or giant flowers, there are
shoe clips for nearly every style of shoe — including bridal appliqués and clips. It takes
but a few seconds to fit the shoe clips and the transformation is a revelation, the old
friend is ready to face the world once more. The used shoes are, to any admiring eye,
simply new shoes.
A shoe clip can blend with similar color shoes or be contrasting in
color for more impact, the choice is yours. Conservative and
classy for day or office wear, extensive use with the ‘flatties’ for
smart casual , glamorous and chic for evening wear or a
selection to suit any mood. You have the ultimate diversity for
the entire wardrobe. It really isn’t just about the high heels. You
will be amazed at the impact on your ‘flatties.’ Comfortable now
becomes glamorous.
The best thing about shoe clips is that you can try them out with any shoes you like
until you find winning combinations. But as a general rule, use more decorative clips
37
on simpler shoes; for more elaborate shoe styles, stick with simple clips — like solidcolored bows. Check out this short video clip on How to Use Shoe Clips.
Shoe clips can expand your shoe closet to dimensions only dreamed of. Let your
imagination soar and you’ll be the envy of your friends who really will think you’re
Imelda reincarnated! And don’t forget that clips can be used lots more places than just
on shoes. Purses, hats, slippers, belts — all are waiting in line for a chance at a bit of
extra zing. The versatility of shoe clips for the renewal and transformation of shoes
can also extend to the leather boot and handbag and other innovative uses. They are
fantastic fashion accessories which adds enormous value not only in enhancing so
many aspects of the wardrobe but through the intangible benefits of bringing the used
shoes back into use.
It is so easy to carry shoe clips in the handbag to vary your
footwear when you are out and about, or to change your mood,
or adapt a day shoe into evening wear. The permutations are
endless with the simple solution of having a variety of shoe clips.
They also make wonderful gifts for any lady who loves their
existing shoe wardrobe and could revive some of those old
friends.
While most shoe clips will not mark your shoes, I suggest making
sure the shoe clips are free of any dirt or oil before using them,
and trying them out on less expensive shoes first, just to be
sure. And while shoe clips won’t normally cause rubbing sores on
your foot, a little moleskin goes a long way in insuring you don’t
have sores at the end of the day.
You can also revitalize your shoes with these fashion heel rings, which will keep you
looking and feeling strong all season long. Heel rings are made with special elastic that
helps them stay on heels. They are great for casual, evening or bridal shoes and can
also be worn as regular rings. Look at these Rhinestone round heel rings and tell me
they aren’t glamorous. Or check out these heel chains. OMG, you will be the envy of
all your girlfriends and you too will be seen as a fashionista.
38
A strange mystery - Acting vs real life.
By: Teri Lynn Richards
Why does society accept me, dressed as a woman, on Halloween, but not on other
days? (That's the one day of the year I don't "dress" anymore. I don't want folks to
think I'm acting.)
One of my friends, John, once dressed as a woman (hula dancer) on Halloween, on a
cruise. He brought the pics to the office. No one ridiculed him for dressing as a
woman. They all thought it was a hoot.
This is the same guy who just told me that my [fem] pics hurt his eyes. In other words,
he can't stand to see me in fem-mode. He even said that it's Ted he wants to see, not
Teri. It was he, along with the other guys in the office, who used to bad-mouth
crossdressers whenever they appeared on TV or in the news. And their comments
weren't kind.
Once, on Halloween, our Chief Investigator dressed as a woman - in the office. His
secretary helped him. Of course, he looked like sh-t because he did not remove his
beard, mustache or caterpillar-eyebrows. He wore a dress, full make-up, heels, wig even had long nails glued on. Except for the facial hair, all else was feminine. And
that's exactly the perception society still has of crossdressers - that we're weird/crazy.
What did that say? Just as the idiots who appear on TV (Springer /Maury), his
appearance was a mockery of women. No one called him a "sissy" or "fag", etc.
Everyone understood that he dressed that way as a joke. But if someone like me, who
"dresses" to emulate women, not to mock them, appears, dressed as a woman, they
would get a totally different and negative reaction. The harassment would have been
instant - Halloween or not.
As a joke, society is willing to accept us in a feminine appearance. As being representative of how we truly feel, generally, we are not accepted.
I agree and have always said, that acceptance is far more important than passing" [appearance]. I don't believe that as CD/TGs we should go out in public, not
looking our feminine-best. We should seriously try our best to look totally presentable
as a woman, not a man-in-a-dress. Why? Because we don't need society making fun
of us. They may not agree with our desire to present a feminine image, but they will
respect us (in time), if they see that we are serious about our presentation. Society
needs to understand that we don't want to look like freaks, but rather, that we want to
present a true feminine image. Their apprehensions will dissipate when they discover
that we are normal - like them.
To make my point, I have to re-tell a story of my trip to the Mall. One day I walked into
Kohl's. I noticed that the sales staff was mostly very young girls. As I browsed the
39
isles, I noticed that two of the girls caught on to me and were whispering about me. I
idled over to them and casually said, "So, am I someone in an appearance you
normally don't see?" They blushed and replied, "We've never seen a crossdresser,
other than on TV." I told them that I understood that and asked whether they had any
questions. My, they had a ton of questions. First they asked whether I was married.
Does my wife know? Did I have kids? Did I have a job? Do I dress as a woman at
work? Do my friends know, etc, etc?
When I answered their questions, they smiled and said that they appreciated that I
took the time to chat with them. Then they commented: "So you're a normal guy,
except that you sometimes dress as a woman." Before I departed, they invited me to
come back anytime. That made my day, and I left, having educated several sales
clerks - not even my intention for the visit.
Wow! Such instant acceptance! Why did these gals accept me? Did I "pass"? No, or
they would not have been talking about me. But, they accepted me because they
learned that I was serious about my presentation. They saw that I presented a
respectable image as a woman and they learned that I was not a freak, but actually, as
they said, "a normal [person]."
Our battle/challenge is this - How do we get society to view both sexes as equal? If
men did not think of a man, who dresses as a woman, as stepping down the socialladder, then crossdressing would not be an issue.
I've mentioned this before - In law enforcement, lesbians are accepted and treated as
"one of the boys." Because it is still considered a step up the social-ladder, men feel
that a woman who wants to look and act like a man, is trying to improve herself.
However, a man, giving up his "manhood" is viewed as being a sissy because he is
stepping down the social-ladder and that demonstrates weakness - something to be
shunned/avoided.
Until men and women are viewed as equals, our journey will remain challenging.
Meanwhile, we have to educate society, in order to dispel the many misconceptions
and fears they have about crossdressers.
Go out this week with this challenge - Make it your intention to start "coming out" to
one friend, co-worker, or family-member.
Enjoy your feminine moments!
40
Dressing down a culture for refusing to dress up
CBS News) Dressing elegantly for the most routine matters is a tradition from a distant past -and our Nancy Giles thinks that's a shame.
There was a time when a woman really made an entrance! Remember? Skirts swished, heads
turned . . . and it wasn't for a red carpet event, either.
It was for dinner, or going shopping. What happened?
These days, anything goes. Shorts and flip-flops are fine for any occasion. And so are pajamas.
Dressing up? A quaint and bygone custom. Have we become a nation of slobs?
Professor Linda Przybyszewski teaches a class called "A Nation of Slobs" at the University of
Notre Dame, in South Bend, Ind.
Vintage dress patterns, from a time when gloves and hats
were more than simply accessories.
"My students very often are floored by the beauty of some of the vintage pictures that I show
them," she told Giles.
Przybyszewski's mission: to revive the lost art of dressing.
"I think we've just lost of lot of the kinds of design details, color details that used to be part of
our design vocabulary," she said.
Proper dressing was so important, it was taught in school, from first grade through college. And
baring all, she says, is not an artistic ideal.
"There's got to be a happy medium between wearing a burka and running around half-naked,"
said Przybyszewski.
Professor P. sews her own clothes. She has to, she says, because dresses with beautiful details -like sleeves with six button cuffs -- are hard to find.
41
And gloves! What happened to gloves?
"Up until the 1960s," Przybyszewski said, "gloves were considered a requirement."
And what about hats?
"You were considered slightly undressed if you didn't have a hat on," she said.
So, Giles asked, were the Sixties involved in taking us down this spiral of slobby?
"The '60s were involved," Przybyszewski laughed. "Actually, because of the suburbs, casual
clothing became more normal for people to wear all the time."
... and a demand for simpler, and cheaper clothes.
"I think style just moved toward simplicity. and eventually slipped into stupidity," said
Przybyszewski.
To judge from Professor Przybyszewski's students, her one-woman crusade to rescue the nation
from its own sloppiness is bearing fruit.
"My supervisor told me, 'Always dress up for Linda's class, because she thinks Notre Dame
students dress like slobs,'" said Karina Reich.
"I don't sleep in pajama bottoms, I wouldn't wear them to the dining hall," said Emma Terhaar.
Jared Clemmensen said dressing sloppily is an intentional "I don't care" statement. "I see people
in the dining hall, and they're wearing pajama bottoms. I'm like, 'Are you really wearing those?
Like, are you trying to make a statement?'
"The worst," added Terhaar, "is when they have makeup on. 'Oh, you put makeup on, but you
couldn't change out of your pajamas?' Yeah, I don't believe you."
Ten Hidden Benefits of Crossdressing & Being Transgender
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl)
who teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender
females how to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal
is to help T-women express their inner and outer femininity
and increase their confidence as women. She has a
professional background in fashion, beauty, dance, and
natural healing and has been working with the transgender
community for the past 12 years. Her website is loaded with
useful information and is located at http://www.flat2fem.com/
index1.html .
Wow, my last post about guilt associated with cross-dressing really struck a nerve with
people! If you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender, then maybe you
42
consider the whole thing a ‘curse’. But I believe there are some amazing benefits to
being a ‘two-spirit’ person.
In this post, I want to share what I
believe are the hidden benefits of
crossdressing or being transgender.
Some of these apply more to
crossdressers, but the sentiment is
the same: Being TG can make you a
better person overall – in girl mode
AND guy mode.
1. It allows you to integrate the best
of both genders into your
personality.
2. It motivates you to stay in shape and take care of yourself. (A girl’s gotta look good,
right?)
3. It makes you more empathetic towards women.
4. It brings you closer to the people who support you.
5. It’s easier to be faithful when *you* are the other woman (though I hope your
empathy towards women would prevent you from cheating in the first place!).
6. It allows you to get to know yourself in a deep and meaningful way.
7. It makes you an interesting person. (Normal is boring!)
8. It gives you more compassion towards others who don’t fit the norms of society.
9. It offers a healthy and non-destructive way to relieve stress.
10. It makes you a more creative, resourceful, and courageous person than you might
be otherwise.
So what do you think? Am I missing anything on this list? I’d love to hear what YOU
feel are the hidden benefits of crossdressing or being a TG woman.
(Note from Mellissalynn: If you have a comment to add, this article originally appeared
at http://feminizationsecrets.com/benefits-of-crossdressing-being-transgender/ ; you
can respond there.)
43
This Is What I Am
Created by Amanda Hawkins
This caption picture was created by Amanda Hawkins, a transgender artist whom I met on deviantArt. I
think that many of us can relate to this caption. When I asked her for her permission to show this caption in our magazine, she asked that we include a link to her page, so here it is: http://
amandasreadingroom.wordpress.com . Thanks for letting me share this, Amanda!
44
Out of One Closet, and into Another. . .
Graham | reprinted from TG Forum
It was the Summer of 1999. The small Felixstowe Girls crossdresser support group —
FXG — held its monthly meetings in the local headquarters of a mental health drop-in
centre (much to the amusement of its members) in the English seaside town of the
same name. This building had limited parking facilities out-front, and it wasn’t
unknown for members to turn around and drive straight back home if they were
unable to get a space, especially when the evenings were light. Being one of the more
confident members, therefore, I habitually left my car in the supermarket car-park just
across the road.
Graham as Sally “The Tart” with blue hair.
On this particular evening, however, I was taken aside
by the meeting’s co-ordinator, Mary, who raised
concerns from a couple of members that my very short
skirts and big hair — which was frequently coloured a
shade of emerald green or electric blue — was drawing
unwanted attention from the public to the fact that there
were crossdressers in the building. “Our members rely
on the fact that they can get in and out of the building without being seen.” She went
on to say that I wasn’t presenting an appropriate image for a crossdresser —
specifically, that I wasn’t making sufficient effort to “pass.”
This wasn’t by any means the first time I’d been accused of being “improperly
dressed” (sic). That honour was reserved for an incident the previous November. I’d
driven to a “tranny weekend” organised by the UK’s Beaumont Society in Rotherham,
South Yorkshire, wearing a short pleated skirt and opaque tights, with painted nails
and some light make-up, but without a wig. This had been my first time out presenting
as mixed-gendered, and whether or not anyone believed it, it had been a completely
innocent action on my part. I naïvely thought that the journey might be a bit
dangerous, but that I’d be on “safe ground” once I reached the hotel, which was
closed to the public for the duration of the event. However, later that evening, Mary
45
informed me that the Society president, Janett Scott, had spoken to her concerning
complaints about my earlier mode of dress from several attendees — apparently, they
were angry that I might have been seen in public “half-dressed” (sic) on my way to
the hotel. I asked Mary to tell Janett that, while she may have the final say about what
constituted suitable apparel in the hotel, how I choose to dress in public is no-one’s
business but my own, and that I wasn’t going to be lectured to anonymously by
cowards.
Several things about these criticisms set me thinking over the following months

I’d been seen in public on many occasions sporting hair which might just possibly
be construed as belonging to a real woman … that is, had she spent hours in a salon
having it spiked and dyed an unnatural colour. But my unusual clothes, conspicuous
make-up, and male body-shape — tall, thin, amazing legs, no backside, no hips —
would have drawn attention to the fact that I certainly wasn’t a woman. Yet contrary
to the dire warnings from other crossdressers, I’d rarely been harassed and never assaulted.

One might expect crossdressers to understand the trauma of one of their kind
growing up with an irrepressible desire to wear women’s clothes, and to be tolerant of
alternative presentations. Yet some were claiming — albeit on behalf of a public that in
my experience was pretty-much unconcerned — that my appearance was “offensive,”
and that I should “dress properly” (sic). Why is one type of presentation deemed
acceptable while others aren’t? Who decides, and on what basis? And why can’t my
critics be honest and admit that it’s them who are offended, not some hypothetical
members of the public?

The idea that the average crossdresser could put on a dress and a wig, and in-
stantly look like a woman, is absurd … as is the belief that they might be fooling
anyone but themselves. The FXG meetings, the Beaumont Society weekend, and all
the parties and clubs I’d been to, were full of what can only be described as “men in
dresses,” yet we were all supposed to lie through our teeth and say how convincing
they looked as women.
It didn’t seem to matter to the tranny hierarchy that most crossdressers can’t pass so
long as they made the effort — very few were overtly criticised for trying, however
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alarming the result. But someone like me — who, incidentally, always took great care
to look immaculate — came under attack because the image I portrayed wasn’t
mainstream, and could never have led to me being able to pass.
From my earliest memories, I’d always had the impression that the British public was
indeed hostile to crossdressing; my parents had certainly been hostile to my
crossdressing when they first caught me, aged five, wearing my sister’s dance outfit.
This had resulted in the creation of the one-man closet in which my crossdressing
resided for the next three decades. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, knowledge, and
a newly-found confidence in a female persona of my own creation, it occurred to me
that FXG, the Beaumont Society, and all the other crossdresser support groups I knew
of were simply extensions of their members’ personal closets. It made perfect sense —
few “outside” people knew of the existence of these groups, members were frequently
sworn to secrecy, attendees dressed like women and used women’s names to avoid
being recognised, few released their male names, surnames, addresses, telephone
numbers, or any other means of identification unless you got to know them really well,
and so on. What other explanation could there be except that they were hiding from
the public and from each other, and maybe even from themselves? It didn’t take much
of a leap of imagination to work out why “passing” is the crossdressers’ highest
achievement: it’s the ability to blend in so well as a “real” woman — in other words, to
hide behind a physical disguise — that one can go out in public supposedly without
being detected.
So … having spent thirty years hiding in a one-man closet denying to everyone — including myself — that I had a “feminine side,” I was now expected to join the ranks of
crossdressers hiding in a larger closet denying to everyone — including myself — that I
had a “masculine side.” This was a far cry from the enlightened step that I’d been
looking forward to taking, and I quickly decided that I wasn’t prepared to go down
that route. In any case, all my friends knew that I crossdressed — it was a badge I
wore with pride rather than embarrassment. So there was no need for me to be concerned with blending into the background — I wanted to have fun doing what I’d been
unable to do for nearly forty years. Electric-blue spiky hair may not have helped me to
pass as a woman, but I already passed amazingly well as a crossdresser having a
great time; this was in stark contrast to my critics, who passed amazingly well as
crossdressers being miserable and judgmental.
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Based on my emerging political beliefs, and the inability of the crossdressing community to respond convincingly to my philosophical arguments, the essential elements of
my female persona soon became superfluous. I’d already decided, on an unusually
warm night in Blackpool in March 1999, that a bra and false breasts were
uncomfortable … so they’d remained in my room while I went clubbing. It had been
liberating, and I never wore them again. My female name fell out of use in the latter
half of the year — Sally “The Tart” Watson had served her purpose — and shortly after
that, the wigs went too. During this time, I was continually experimenting in my
everyday life, looking for a presentation with which I was comfortable — in effect, this
meant mixing male and female, masculine and feminine, in various combinations. I
wore unisex items such as sleeveless vests and sarongs, while keeping my jewelry,
perfume, and a modicum of make-up. However, crunch-time came in the form of two
Millennium Concerts at Ipswich Town Hall on 28th and 29th January 2000, and being a
musician, I was told at the eleventh hour that I’d have to wear a dinner jacket. It was
too late to pull out, and the experience — as I’d feared — made me physically ill. So it
was that on Sunday 30th January 2000, I vowed to never again wear male clothes,
and particularly trousers … and with one subsequent exception to help an old friend,
I’ve honoured that promise ever since. I’m convinced that it’s kept me from selfdestruction.
I “femmed-up” for a few tranny functions over the next couple of years, but with
decreasing conviction. The last time was as a maid for a non-tranny themed party in
2005, but it felt fake and uncomfortable. Do I miss it? Not really … now that I can
wear whatever I want any time of the day or night, indoors or outdoors, I no longer
have the craving to crossdress in the way that I used to, and “being Sally” doesn’t hold
the thrill that it once did. But I still love my lacy lingerie, short skirts and stilettos, and
wear them whenever the mood takes me … much as any woman might. And the
response from the real world? While I occasionally get abuse from yobs in the street,
the trick is not to “play victim” — most people will leave me alone if they think they’re
going to get the shit whipped out of them in public. However, my friends in amateur
theatre, my neighbours, my colleagues in the Police, my professional business clients
… they all accept me for what I am. Most have never seen me wearing trousers. Most
have never seen me wearing a wig except in photographs. And while I make it quite
clear that my mode of dress shouldn’t be regarded as “off-topic,” most of them aren’t
even curious enough to ask.
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The crossdressing community has got it wrong: its members don’t have to “pass” as
women to be able to wear the clothes they like in public — I’ve proved that beyond
doubt. That’s because passing isn’t about false tits, make-up, and a feminine gait, but
simply about self-confidence … if you have that, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.
As for “coming out,” very few crossdressers get to experience that for real because
they’re too concerned with jumping between their male and female closets, and hoping no-one sees them in transit. True “coming out” means demolishing your closets —
all of them.
Oh the gift that God would give us….
Robert Burns, the poet said, “Oh the gift that God would give us to see ourselves as others see
us.”
I recall my mother imitating his brogue while quoting the great Scotsman, and then saying,
“And God help us if we could!”
Think about that for a minute!
When I was a little girl I thought others saw us as we see ourselves in the mirror. However I
learned as I grew up that what we see in the mirror is a reflection, and it’s not even three
dimensional; it is also in reverse. I’ve learned also that we are seen through the eyes of the
beholder’s individual lenses and other elements of their perceptual equipment.
I have also wondered what it would be like to hear ourselves as others hear us; although I must
assume that the same perceptual equipment would be working for hearing as for seeing. I am
sure there are as many different perceptions as there are people who see and hear us; and to
some degree a consensus of whether or not we are likeable and loveable etc. It’s why we all
have different ears/tastes for music as well as for so many other sounds. I.E., some people love
the sound of running water and others find it annoying.
Now I am wondering how it would be if our voices could be reflected for us as are our images
are in a mirror. How do we really sound? I don’t mean hearing ourselves in the same way as
hearing our voices on a tape recording. That would not be the same because we usually hear the
sound of our own voices mostly though bone conduction, other people’s voices come to us
through bone and nerve conduction; in other words via a fuller range of auditory input. That’s
why we often sound different to ourselves on a recording.
Actually, there is no way we can know how others see us and hear us, except by the various
forms of feedback we receive, and how they treat us. It has been said by those who know
Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) systems that the meaning of our communications is the
response we get. However, I would modify that perception by adding that we respond based on
interpretations of what is said, and those are based on our own internal processing equipment
and styles, preconceptions, misconceptions and even expectations. And in reality people are not
always forthcoming in their true thoughts and feelings about us. That is unless they are angry or
upset and then often the truth of their feelings and thoughts will be revealed. Or that they are
required to assess us for some reason.
We can have many perceptual distortions about ourselves, about others and the world we live
in. We see and hear based on many psychological factors; for example when a woman sees a fat
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body in the mirror when she is actually slim, or visa versa. How we see ourselves depends on
many factors, not necessarily facts at all.
Many people have told me, based on the insights I am able to share with them, that I know them
better than they know themselves. But I don’t feel this is possible. It is they who have revealed
those things to me, one way or another, often through subliminal and psychic interactions as
well as their verbal and non verbal expressions. I’ve also heard from some people that if others
really knew them, or saw them as they see themselves, they would not like or respect them so
much: For they often feel they are different on the inside than what they portray to the world.
(This could be the subject of next month’s blog: the imposter syndrome).
Looking in the mirror at ourselves we often inflict either too much criticism and/or harsh
judgment on ourselves, or not enough objective critical appraisals to be useful for us.
It is also true that people don’t know them selves all that well either, for they have not gone
deep into themselves to learn from their subconscious what they truly think or feel, or to
understand their subconscious motivations. This explains the reason people often wonder why
they did this or that when that behavior doesn’t make sense to them on logical rational levels.
The fact is the image we have of ourselves consciously is not always in tune with how our subconscious sees us either. Therefore neither we nor others see us as we truly are in every aspect
of ourselves.
I must say here, that as much as it is vitally important that we not be influenced by what we
think others think of us, or how we think they see us, because as I’ve said, we cannot really
know; nor can we please everyone and ought not to try to. We have to live with ourselves so we
must respect and approve of ourselves to live comfortably within. We also need to have a truer
sense of what we are communicating to others in what we say and how we say it, and about
what we do, and whether or not it truly is what we want to convey. If we misrepresent ourselves
there is always an undesirable repercussion.
There is a link in the chain of command in my Mind Mastery course that deals directly with the
issues of how we need to be, and how we can be in touch with how we come across to people,
and be more in control of that. This is a powerful tool for self awareness and insight and a
wonderful opportunity to be sure that our inner voice and outer expression match each other.
And there is a link in the chain of command that enables you to look at yourself differently than
you ever have before, from the inside and even from outside of yourself. It is impetus to
appreciate as well as to improve ourselves. Also there are links that facilitate an open honest
relationship with your subconscious so that you not only know yourself, you can grow yourself.
So although you may never see and hear yourself exactly as others do, the gift of being able to
step outside of your personalities and see and hear yourself as objectively as is humanly
possible has already been given. May I suggest you open that gift and use all of its potential for
self awareness and understanding, as well as for self improvement?
Be well, TTFN from Elaine Kissel.
Susan
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The 10 Most Annoying Shoe Problems-Solved!
By Woman s Day |
Shoes that feel as cozy as slippers in the store can become just
the opposite after an evening out or a couple weeks of wear. And
few stores allow customers to return worn shoes. The shoe's
material and construction could be the problem, or it could be fit.
"Sizes in even the most expensive shoes don't accommodate
individual lengths and widths of feet," says Linda O'Keefe,
author of Shoes: A Celebration of Pumps, Sandals, Slippers and
More. Rather than burying the pair in the back of your closet,
check out these 10 fixes for the most common is shoes.
1. Too Tight Straps
While many leather straps stretch with wear, you can shorten the breaking-in process with
water. H2O can gently stretch leather, molding it to the shape of your foot, says Meghan
Cleary, author of Shoe Are You? Before you wear shoes out the first time, spritz them with "a
light spray of plain water," she says. "Wear them around until dry."
2. Blisters
These are most likely to crop up on the bottoms of feet because of friction between your feet's
soles and the shoe's. To avoid blisters, line each shoe with moleskin foam, which creates a
cushion. The padding absorbs friction with a layer of cotton over the foam. "Adhere it to the
inside of each shoe before the first time you wear them," suggests Cleary.
Dr. Scholl's Molefoam Padding, $28.46 for an 8-pack; Amazon.com
3. Arch Pain
Shoes that cause this likely don't provide enough support in the middle of your foot. Stick to
brands known for supportive kicks, including Cole Haan, Clarks and Onex, suggests Kimberly
Ade, a stylist at Keri Blair Image Experts in Denver. Or at the very least, "opt for wedges
instead of skinny heels," she says. Wedges distribute weight away from the ball of your foot
and more evenly throughout the shoe. And when you wear heels, choose ones that are shorter
than three inches, adds Ade. But if most shoes make your arches ache, orthotics, custom-fitted
shoe inserts from a podiatrist, may help…for a price. They can set you back $800.
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4. Sweaty Feet
Too-small shoes can heat up your tootsies and cause blisters. To get a better fit, "only buy
shoes at the end of the day when your feet may be swollen and tired," suggests O'Keefe. Even if
the shoe fits, the material may turn up the temperature. Save patent leather and rubber for colder
times of year, and opt for breathable canvas and natural leather in warmer weather. And if
you're wearing socks, choose cotton ones, rather than those with artificial fabrics, to absorb
sweat. One more trick: Cleary recommends sprinkling baby or shoe deodorizing powder in
shoes before wearing them to soak up moisture while they're on your feet.
5. Cuts on the Back of Your Heels
Shoes that dig into your skin can be some of the most painful to wear. While you may think
they're too snug, the problem is more likely that they're too big. Overly spacious shoes let feet
shift around and are the biggest reason for cuts, says Ade. Consider taping heel pads into the
back of your shoes. The cushion "prevents your heel from moving in and out of the shoe and
skin from getting cut," Ade explains.
Foot Petals Heavenly Heelz, $6.95 for a pair; FootPetals.com
6. Calluses
The hard, dead skin that can form on the soles of feet and the sides of big toes can be tough to
get rid of. But prevention starts with choosing well-fitting shoes. "Avoid jamming your foot
into a shoe that's too small or narrow," says Cleary. Another good idea: Wear socks or tights in
shoes, which can thwart unwanted friction. "If you already have calluses, soak, pumice and
moisturize your feet often." Or use a foot file to slough them off.
Diamancel Diamond File for Foot Calluses, $38; Sephora.com
7. Heels Sinking into Grass
Attending a dressy outdoor wedding? Rethink the stilettos. Many types of heels sink into the
ground and even thick carpet, making maneuvering tricky and dancing next to impossible. If
you must wear skinny heels, tack on a heel cap that adds surface area to the bottom of your
heel, lowering your chances of getting stuck in the ground. Otherwise, stick to wedges, which
elongate legs like heels do, but are more comfortable outdoors.
Solemates High Heelers, $19.90 for two pairs; Solemates.com
8. Scuffed Leather
A single visible scratch can make nice, new shoes look like old, poorly made ones. While
there's no way to completely avoid scratching leather shoes, polishing shoes you wear often can
help, says Ade. "The more you polish, the less likely scratches are to form," she explains. For
best results, once a month, wash the shoe before polishing; then, use a cream-based polish and
buff with a soft cloth. Keep in mind that patent leather is more prone to deep scratching, Ade
adds.
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9. Wobbly Heels
You're walking around when BAM-your heel detaches from the sole. How embarrassing. Not
all shoes have a sturdy metal shank that connects the inner sole to the heel. So before you buy,
walk around the store to make sure the heels aren't wobbling. Ade says chunkier heels are better
bets. Whatever shoes you purchase, "don't rock back and forth in them; that'll weaken the attachment," Ade points out. If heels do detach, a cobbler can reattach them for about $20-which
may or may not be worth it depending on the original shoe cost.
10. Soles Wearing Off
Dressier shoes' soles can quickly become scuffed from hitting the street, resulting in tatteredlooking footwear. Try sole protectors, which make soles extra-durable and slip-resistant.
"Adding rubber soles to the bottom of shoes or heel taps can extend the life of the soles and
heels," Cleary explains. Ask a cobbler to add rubber soles; the service runs anywhere from $15
to $30.
Join us for Northern California's most glamorous transgender event of the year, River City
Sparkle 2013! Tickets are on sale now! Celebrate transgender unity and experience an elegant
evening of dinner, dancing, and entertainment for the whole transgender community.
Time: Doors open at 6:00pm - party 'til midnight
Location: Suite 302, Red Lion Hotel Woodlake
Address: 500 Leisure Lane, Sacramento, CA 95815
CD, TG, TS, MtF, FtM, family, friends, and allies – everyone is welcome, so don't miss this
opportunity to dress in your finest attire and party the night away! Whether it be a prom dress, a
ball gown, a cocktail dress or a cute LBD (Little Black Dress) you'll look fantastic!
Arrive at 6:00pm for a classy no-host cocktail reception accompanied by a professional live
saxophone player playing smooth jazz and classic ballads. There will be a private bar inside the
room. There will also be an open chocolate bar featuring a selection of complimentary milk and
dark chocolates. This will be followed by a short welcome address before guests sit down to a
sumptuous 3-course dinner artfully prepared by the Red Lion's award-winning chef.
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Feeling lucky? Enter our Speed Raffle for your chance to win fantastic prizes! The main raffle
prizes are a new Google Nexus 7 tablet PC, a large HD flat screen television, and a premium
Nordstroms gift basket filled with cosmetics! In addition there are two free door prizes of gift
certificates for Macy's valued at $50 each! After dinner, get ready for some fun live
professional entertainment, and then end the night with a sizzling DJ dance party! River City
Sparkle is going to be the transgender event of the year! You can't afford to miss it!
Schedule of Events:
6:00-7:15 - Cocktails
7:15-7:30 - Welcome and opening remarks
7:30-9:00 - Dinner and Cocktails
9:00-9:45 - Entertainment
9:45-10:00 - Raffle and closing remarks
10:00-Midnight - Dance party
Don't forget to capture your memories of this special night with a professional portrait package
from Branden Chism of Style N’ Photos. Click on the menu option for "Pro Photography" at
the top left of this page to get all the details of the packages available.
Regular Price:
River City Gems Member Price:
All Tickets at the Door:
$55
$50
$60
You can check out the website here: http://www.rivercitysparkle.org/index.html
For attendees who need to change on-site, a free changing room will be available. Or better still,
why not book your own hotel room and stay overnight. To reserve your room, call the Red Lion
reservations desk at 800-RED-LION (1-800-733-5466) There is a special River City Sparkle
room rate of just $89 (normally $129) for a standard room with 1 or 2 beds for 1 or 2 guests.
The discount code is "River City Sparkle".
To make on-line reservations, click on the link below:
http://www.redlion.com/our-hotels/california/woodlake-sacramento/ and use the discount code
RIVE1012.
Check the Red Lion web site for their special internet rates, as occasionally, for a limited time
only, there may be even be a lower rate than the Sparkle rate!
On Sunday morning join us for a special post-Sparkle breakfast at the Lakeside Bar & Grill inside the Red Lion Hotel, where we can recount our stories and experiences of the night before!
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The Gossip Fence
Transgender In The News
Top 10 Actions That May Constitute Discrimination Against Transgender Workers
1. Terminating or failing to hire someone because they are transgender.
2. Limiting a transgender employee’s interaction with customers because they might not be
“comfortable” with the person’s gender expression.
3. Prohibiting a transgender employee from dressing or appearing in accordance with their
gender identity. Common variant: Applying a dress code more strictly for a transgender woman
than for other women.
4. Denying a transgender woman access to the women’s restroom, or denying a transgender
man access to the men’s restroom. Common variant: Requiring a transgender employee to use
a gender-neutral restroom.
5. For sex-segregated jobs or tasks, requiring a transgender man to work as a woman, or a
transgender woman to work as a man. Example: A transgender man who worked as a police
officer was frequently asked by coworkers to pat down female suspects.
6. Repeatedly calling a transgender person by the wrong pronouns or name.
7. Asking inappropriate personal questions about a transgender person’s medical treatment or
their body parts.
8. Outing” a transgender person to others without permission. A person’s transgender status is
private medical information that is protected under laws like HIPAA.
9. Requiring a transgender person to present a birth certificate or a court-ordered name or
gender change before the employer will agree to respect their gender identity.
10. Having discriminatory exclusions for treatment related to gender transition in an employee
health plan.
Have you been discriminated against? You have rights. Check out our new resource on filing a
complaint with the EEOC
<http://transgenderlawcenter.org/issues/employment/eeoccomplaint> .
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Transgender People Being Murdered At A Rate Almost 50 Percent Higher Than Lesbians
And Gays
Transgender people were murdered last month at a rate that is almost 50 percent higher than the
murders of lesbian and gay people. From Canada to the United States to Central and South
America, in the month of July alone, 23 transgender people and 16 gay men and lesbian women
— a total of 39 people — were murdered, according to a study from the Organization of American States. The OAS represents all 35 countries of the American continent. In just the U.S., an
estimated .3 percent of the total population openly identify as transgender, and 3.5 percent of
American adults openly identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, with bisexual people making up
1.8 percent of that 3.5 percent, according to the Williams Institute.
The report adds, “the majority of these victims were shot, most of them multiple times.”
Additionally, the IACHR was informed of 13 cases of murders of gay men of all ages in Brazil
(8), Honduras (1), Mexico (1), Peru (2), and Venezuela (1), the vast majority of which were
beaten to death. It also received information on the murders of three Brazilian lesbian women,
two of them less than 25 years of age.
In all likelihood, these numbers are just the tip of the iceberg. In many countries, including in
the U.S., not all hate crime violence is reported or investigated as such.
To be clear, any murder is one murder too many. And it’s important to remember that each
number represents a person. So when gays and lesbians outnumber transgender people about six
to one, yet transgender people are being murdered at a rate that’s about 50 percent more than
the murder rate for gays and lesbians, well, it’s beyond comprehension.
TUCSON - The University of Arizona is expanding its transgender studies courses.
Four professor positions are being created for the program. The U of A hopes the program will
develop into a leading resource.
Michael Woodward said he is ready for the world to see transgender people like himself in a
different light, and he thinks this program will help do that. Looking at Woodward now, you
would never guess for 36 years he lived as a woman.
According to the Williams Institute, around 700 thousand people identify themselves as
transgender in the United States.
Susan Stryker, director of the Institute for LGBT studies at the University of Arizona, said now,
not only the nation, but the world is starting to pay more attention to the transgender population.
"'Oh, we know that there are transgender people, we should be able to count them, we should be
able to provide for their health services, we need to be able to serve this part of our population.
How do we even find out who these people are and what their needs are?'" she said.
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Stryker said the University of Arizona is prepared to be a world leader in transgender studies.
"It's a completely globally unprecedented thing," said Stryker. Woodward said he can't wait to
see the impact.
"It's huge for our community, and it's huge for trans people everywhere because now we can
actually be understood and studied just like the rest of the population," he said.
Stryker said the U of A is hiring two transgender studies professors this year, and two next year,
but she said they are still looking into what kind of degrees will be available for undergraduate
and graduate students.
The program will be based in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences starting 2015.
Bar fined $400K for keeping transgenders away
PORTLAND, Ore. (KOIN) — A north Portland bar owner will have to pay a big fine, after the
state finds he tried to keep some cross-dressing transgender customers away.
Chris Penner is owner of the Twilight Room Annex, formally known as the “P Club.” Bureau
of Labor and Industries investigators found Penner left voice mails asking the customers to not
come to his bar, fearing people would think it’s a gay bar. He now must now pay $400,000 to
the group of people he banned. He’ll also has been ordered to pay a $5,000 penalty for violating
the “Oregon Equality Act.”
Announcing the First Comprehensive Statewide Transgender Resource Guide
We’re proud to officially unveil the first comprehensive New York State Transgender Resource
Guide! Its home at nytransguide.com is the culmination of a months-long project of finding,
vetting and procuring a wide range of transgender resources across the state.
Prominently outfitted on the site is a “Do you need support right now?” link that takes the
visitor to a page with crisis resources, including a list of local hospitals, mental health services,
and crisis lines. The guide is the first to provide information for transgender and gender nonconforming New Yorkers throughout the state in one easy-to-use space.
American Apparel issues open call for transgender models
American Apparel is being heralded for its support of LGBT rights after issuing an open call for
“transexy” models. The fashion brand famous for its provocative advertising posted an ad
Saturday on Instagram, asking transgender and transsexual models to visit its Chelsea store.
According to the ad, models need no previous experience, just to be over age 16 and wear
“simple, fitted clothing.”
“This is seriously cool,” one fashion fan wrote, echoing others who gave props to the Los
Angeles-based brand for recognizing that models come in all shapes, sizes and sexualities.
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American Apparel, which has used transgender models in ads before, is famous for its strong
stance on gay rights, carrying gay culture magazines in its stores and piloting the “Legalize
Gay” movement in support of same-sex marriage in California.
The brand also launched “Legalize LA” in 2008, an ad campaign to promote amnesty for
undocumented immigrants.
AFL-CIO Adds Transgender Protections To Its Constitution
WASHINGTON — The AFL-CIO, the country’s largest labor federation, amended its
constitution Monday to add a provision banning discrimination based on gender identity or
gender expression.
The decision to ban transgender discrimination at its 2013 convention followed the decision of
several unions within the federation already to have made the addition of similar nondiscrimination policies into their own policies. The federation is made up of 57 national and
international unions representing more than 12 million workers.
The language of the AFL-CIO’s constitution now reads “To encourage all workers without
regard to race, creed, color, sex, national origin, religion, disability, sexual orientation, gender
identity, or gender expression to share equally in the full benefits of union organization.”
HUD pursues anti-LGBT discrimination charges against RV park owner
SEVEN POINTS -- The Department of Housing and Urban Development issued a charge of
discrimination in August against an Athens RV park owner after investigating a complaint by a
transgender woman and her female partner who now live in Seven Points.
The action is believed to be one of the first few investigations by HUD to proceed to the trial
stage since the federal agency adopted a new policy in March 2012 banning discrimination
against LGBT people.
If the charge of discrimination is upheld in a federal administrative hearing or a U.S. federal
district court the park owner could be fined $16,000 and be required to reimburse the
complainants for damages. The damages could include moving expenses and compensation for
emotional distress.
Federal officials found "reasonable cause" of "discriminatory housing practices" by the park
owner in the case, according to HUD documents in the possession of the complainants. But the
officials rejected the complaint against the owner's wife and the allegations of intimidation and
harassment.
San Antonio city council updates anti-bias laws to include gays
San Antonio, the second most populated city in Texas, now has anti-discrimination laws that
include sexual orientation, gender identity and veteran status.
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The city's anti-bias laws cover public public accommodations, fair housing, city employment,
city contracts and appointments to city boards and commissions.
Before casting his vote in favor, San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro noted the additional
protections meant the city was open to all. 'San Antonio is prosperous, fast-growing city,'
Castro said, as reported by the Dallas Voice. 'This ordinance is about insuring whether you are
white or black, Christian or Jew, straight or gay, this city belongs to you.'
The ordinance revision takes effect immediately.
Appleton adopts ban on sex-identity bias in housing
APPLETON — Appleton has added its name to a list of cities adopting new housing rules that
push past federal protection on gender identity. Appleton is the third city in Wisconsin,
following Madison and Milwaukee, to adopt the rule.
Seventeen states and 160 cities and counties nationwide prohibit housing discrimination based
on both sexual orientation and gender identity, where individuals identify or present as male or
female, regardless of the sex assigned at birth, according to the Department of Housing and
Urban Development and the Transgender Law and Policy Institute.
Landlords who deny rental space to transgender individuals face a penalty of up to $10,000
under the new code. Gender identity augments the list of other protected classes: age, color,
family status, national origin, race, religion, disability, sex, sexual orientation and source of
income.
Wisconsin became the first state in the nation to adopt anti-discrimination protections for gay
and lesbian residents in 1982. But transgender residents still experience discrimination while
shopping for housing statewide, said Katie Belanger, president of Fair Wisconsin, a state
advocacy group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues. “Trans people have twice the
rate of homelessness, twice the rate of unemployment, and a vast majority of trans people have
faced discrimination in every aspect of their lives: employment, housing and in public spaces,”
Belanger said.
HUD adopted stricter rules in 2012 that add sexual orientation and gender identity to the
protected classes addressed under the 1968 Fair Housing Act.
California Legislature Passes Bill to Remove Barriers for Transgender People to Change
Name and Identity Documents
(SACRAMENTO) Assembly Bill 1121, authored by Assemblymember Toni Atkins and cosponsored by Equality California and the Transgender Law Center, passed the Assembly today
by a bipartisan vote of 56-18, with an official vote count pending. The bill will help ensure
people who are transgender have better access to legal name changes and identity documents
that accurately reflect their gender identity. The bill will continue to Gov. Jerry Brown’s desk.
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“The bill provides transgender people with a simple, inexpensive, and private process for
changing their names and documents to be consistent with their gender identity.
“Every Californian deserves the freedom to live as their authentic selves, and AB 1121 removes
significant barriers to that freedom,” said John O’Connor, Equality California executive
director. “Having documents that reflect who you really are is crucial to achieving full equality,
and EQCA is proud to see this bill advance to the Governor’s desk. We thank Assembly
member Atkins for her continued leadership.”
In 2011, the National Transgender Discrimination Survey showed that 44 percent of
transgender people reported having been denied service, harassed or assaulted when presenting
identity documents that did not match their gender presentation.
In 29 US states you can be fired for being gay, Obama says this must end
President Obama has reignited the campaign for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act
(ENDA) that will make it illegal for employers to sack workers for being gay.
The US currently has very few states with anti-discrimination laws. Few states have a law
which prohibits an employer from firing or refusing to hire someone because he or she is gay,
lesbian, bisexual or transgender. In 29 states it is legal to sack someone for being LGBT.
ENDA would change that by adding sexual orientation and gender identity to federal workplace
discrimination protection, including race, religion, gender and disability.
It has been illegal to sack someone for being gay across the whole of the UK since 2003.
HRC Joins Over 40 Organizations in Call for Improved Media Coverage of Transgender
Community
It is time for journalists and media outlets to cover the transgender community with the dignity
and respect that they deserve. For too long, we have allowed the media to disregard the
journalistic standard set out by the Associated Press and to continuously insult transgender
people.
Despite the fact that the Associated Press Style Guide states that when referring a transgender
people, to “Use the Pronoun preferred by the individuals,” many renowned and respected
outlets continued to use hurtful phrases and contrived confusion over pronouns.
The media has the opportunity and the responsibility to improve its reporting and accurately
reflect the lives of transgender people.
New Report Reveals 'Broken Bargain' for Trans Workers
A new report <http://lgbtmap.org/transgender-workers> reveals startling inequities for
transgender people in the American workforce.
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The study, titled “A Broken Bargain for Transgender Workers,” was coauthored by the
Movement Advancement Project, the Center for American Progress, the Human Rights
Campaign, and the National Center for Transgender Equality.
Discrimination in the hiring of transgender workers is widespread, and only 17 states and the
District of Columbia have employment nondiscrimination laws that protect this demographic,
according to the study. Currently, there are no federal protections for workers against
discrimination based on gender expression or identity, despite the fact that 77% of voters would
support such a law. The lack of legal protection has resulted in a number of problems,
including employment and income inequalities as well as the unequal access to health insurance
benefits. Transgender workers are twice as likely to be unemployed than cisgender workers, and
those who are employed report significantly lower salaries. Fifteen percent of transgender
adults make less than $10,000 per year.
In addition, the report reveals rampant discrimination against transgender people in the
workplace. Nearly 80% of workers reported discrimination or maltreatment in the form of
verbal abuse or ridicule. One in 14 claimed they were the victims of physical violence in this
environment.
In order to address these inequalities, “A Broken Bargain” recommends systemic change on the
federal, state, and local level that would provide protections to transgender people in the
workplace and access to affordable health insurance benefits, including coverage for gender
transition procedures. It also advises employers to adjust their policies to address the needs of
their transgender workers, which may include medical leave.
“Fixing the broken bargain for transgender workers will help ensure that they are treated fairly
no matter where they work, that they receive the same compensation for the same work, and
that they can access important benefits available to other workers to protect their health and
livelihood. It is time to send transgender workers the message that they matter, and to show that
our nation and our economy are stronger when we treat all workers fairly.”
Research targets transgender issues
IU researchers are working to end the silence surrounding transgender injustice in the military.
IU associate instructor Joshua Trey Barnett and research associate Brandon Hill accepted a
$12,000 grant to study issues surrounding transgender-related healthcare in the U.S. Military.
The institute’s research focuses on gender and sexuality issues in the military. Ten other
nationwide studies relating to uniform regulations, cost and complexity of care and transgender
sports are included in the project, which is the first of its kind.
Hill said the attitude-based questionnaires are designed to get a sense of what changes would
affect service members the most. In-depth interviews will provide information on what changes
are necessary to accommodate a transgender person’s healthcare needs.
Cross-sex hormone administration and reconstructive surgeries require specific types of
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medical care unavailable to active service members. “As an active-duty person, you cannot
receive special medical treatment, psychiatric or physical care if you identify as transgender,”
he said. “It doesn’t exist.”
The researchers aim to pinpoint significant differences between active duty and veteran
transgender healthcare resources. Barnett said active-duty service members often hide medical
needs from their government-commissioned doctors for fear of discharge.
“Once you become a veteran, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs provides mental and
physical transition-related healthcare,” she said. “That includes mental healthcare, hormonal
replacement therapy and also gender-specific care.” Director of IU Veterans Services Margaret
Beachtold said the only medical support not available to veterans is sexual-reassignment
surgery.
Even with the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” active-duty service members are not allowed
to serve as transsexuals. “Transgender service members are understood through a psychosexual
disorder lens,” said Barnett. “The Department of Defense takes a very different approach to
them as human beings and categorizes them as not fit for
service.”
Researchers will publish initial results of the survey in January 2014.
Introducing GLAD Answers: Our Updated Legal Information Line
GLAD today unveiled “GLAD Answers”, an updated version of our venerable Legal InfoLine.
GLAD Answers is an information and referral service that GLAD has run since our inception,
in recent years receiving more than 2,000 inquiries annually from LGBT people and people
living with HIV.
The new features of GLAD Answers are:
• A dedicated URL, www.GLADAnswers.org <http://www.gladanswers.org/>
• An enhanced live chat function
• A new, direct email address: [email protected]
• Use of an interpretation service for non-English speakers
• And a snappy new name and logo:
GLAD Answers retains its regular phone hours of 1:30-4:30 p.m. Monday-Friday, and its phone
number of 1-800-455-GLAD. The service is staffed by highly trained volunteers who provide
callers with legal information and referrals that can help resolve issues ranging from school
bullying to employment discrimination.
In addition to empowering those who make use of the service, GLAD Answers enables GLAD
to identify new legal issues, patterns of discrimination, and cases to litigate.
Although GLAD Answers specializes in LGBT/HIV legal information for the six New England
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states, the service provides help to anyone who contacts it.
Report: LGBT youth face higher rate of dating abuse than straight peers
LGBT teenagers are at much greater risk of dating abuse than their heterosexual counterparts,
with transgender teens especially vulnerable to victimization, according to a report issued
Friday by the Urban Institute.
According to the report, victims are more likely to be females or transgender youth who are also
more likely to be depressed, have lower grades, have committed delinquent acts, and to have a
history of sexual activity.
Procter and Gamble announces support for federal US employment nondiscrimination
legislation
Consumer goods company Procter and Gamble has joined a coalition of businesses backing a
bipartisan effort of end workplace discrimination based on sexuality and gender identity.
The company is backing the Emloyment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), and has joined other
Fortune 500 companies, as well as small businesses and politicians both Democratic and
Republican in doing so.
The US currently has very few states with anti-discrimination laws. Few states have a law
which prohibits an employer from firing or refusing to hire someone because he or she is gay,
lesbian, bisexual or transgender. ENDA would change that by adding sexual orientation and
gender identity to federal workplace discrimination protection, including race, religion, gender
and disability.
New trans support service launched in Liverpool
Liverpool Community Health NHS Trust has launched a new Trans Support Service.
The new local community health service has been designed to support the trans community in
Merseyside, offering them help by “listening to them, providing them with information about
their options and empowering them to move forward with their lives.”
The service offers sessions with trained councillors, is able to refer clients on to Gender Identity
Clinics should they decide to undergo hormone treatment or surgery, and will help to refer
those suffering from mental health, employment, housing or substance-abuse problems to the
relevant support networks.
The service has been well-received by the local trans community and support groups in the
area. “We have long awaited an initiative such as this in Merseyside, and want to commend
LCH for its innovative and forward thinking approach.”
Montgomery Co. Police Searching for Trans Teen
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Montgomery County Police are asking the public to be on alert for a missing transgender teen,
asking for any information related to the teen's disappearance.
According to the Montgomery County Department of Police website, Nathaniel Martin-Malone,
15, of Silver Spring, was last seen Saturday, Sept. 7, at 5:50 p.m. in the 2700 block of Norbeck
Road in Silver Spring. The MCDP describes Nathaniel as an African-American male,
approximately 5'3'' and 160 pounds, wearing black pants and a black sweater over a
leopard-print shirt.
Family members told police that the teen is transgender and may be presenting as female.
According to MCPD, the Family Crimes Division and the teen's family are particularly
concerned due to a medical condition that requires medication. MCPD offered no other names
or identifying characteristics that might help identify Martin-Malone as female.
As of Sept. 13, MCPD Public Information Office reported that there have been no
developments in locating Martin-Malone.
Anyone with information regarding the missing teen is asked to call the Montgomery County
Police non-emergency number at 301-279-8000. Callers may remain anonymous.
Transgender widow denied Harris County marriage license
HOUSTON -- The transgender widow of a Wharton County firefighter, whom a judge ruled
was not entitled to her late husband’s death benefits because she was born a man, is challenging
Texas law once more by attempting to get married again.
Nikki Araguz, 38, was the transgender wife of Wharton firefighter Thomas Araguz. He died
fighting a blaze at a Wharton County farm in 2010. His family, when they found out Nikki
Araguz was born a male named Justin Purdue, challenged her rights to the benefits. They
argued that the marriage should be declared null and void because the Texas Constitution
effectively bans same sex marriages. A judge agreed that although Araguz had her original
California birth certificate amended to show that she is now female, that Texas law goes by the
original birth certificate that shows Araguz/Purdue was born male.
Araguz, with a documentary film crew following her every move, went to the Harris County
Clerk’s Office in downtown Houston on Thursday with her new fiancé William Lloyd to obtain
a marriage license. "I'm the transgender widow of the firefighter,” she announced to the clerk
and presented as her form of identification a proof of sex change document. Under the state
family code it is listed as an acceptable form of identification along with a driver’s license or a
passport. And it was the crux of Araguz’ argument that she should be allowed to get a marriage
license.
Harris County Clerk Stan Stanart, after conferring with the Harris County Attorney, denied her
marriage license application. "Unfortunately we're not going to be able to issue this,” he told
Araguz as the film crew, taping for a documentary about Araguz, recorded the entire exchange.
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"This is an acceptable form of identification according to your 2009 family code but you're
denying me one,” Araguz said. "Denying it per the constitutional amendment,” Stanart said.
"The law on whom can marry whom in the state of Texas it’s very clear under our constitution,”
Treece said. “You have to have one man and one woman." Araguz’ reference to the family
code that allows sex change documents as proof of identification for a marriage license was an
invalid argument according to Treece. The only way it could be successfully used as a form of
identification for the marriage license, under current Texas law, is if Araguz were marrying a
woman. "The constitution will trump the family code,” Stanart said.
Next week the original ruling that denied Araguz death benefits from the first marriage will be
heard by the 13th Court of Appeals in Corpus Christi. Araguz says she and Lloyd will take part
in a wedding ceremony immediately after that hearing, marriage license or not.
Idaho Falls city council approves partial protections for LGBT residents
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho — The city council in Idaho Falls, Idaho, has passed an ordinance
prohibiting discrimination against LGBT residents in the areas of housing and employment.
The council, however, defeated a clause that would have added public accommodations to the
ordinance.
Unlike the other six cities that have passed similar ordinances — Sandpoint, Boise, Ketchum,
Moscow, Coeur d’Alene and Pocatello — Idaho Falls is the first not include public
accommodations.
AFL-CIO pledges to ‘redouble’ efforts to pass ENDA
The nation’s largest federation of labor unions on Wednesday passed a resolution pledging to
“redouble” its efforts to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.
The AFL-CIO approved the measure, Resolution 37, to reaffirm its support for ENDA at its
constitutional convention this week in Los Angeles.
“The AFL-CIO will redouble our support for the passage of ENDA and continue this work until
every worker — gay or straight, transgender or not — is treated with dignity and respect on the
job,” the resolution states. “We urge all national and international unions to join in the effort to
pass ENDA and to use their influence to sway those members of Congress who will be
instrumental in the bill’s passage.”
The resolution was initiated by the American Federation of Teachers, an organized headed by
Randi Weingarten, a lesbian and Democratic activist.
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