Gena Lee Nolin


Gena Lee Nolin
for the woman in every mom
Winter Health Issue
The skinny on skin fillers
allergy relief for children
smile makeovers & more!
Gena Lee Nolin
Spending Valentine’s Day where we first met
Artistry, Craftsmanship, Serenity
Simply Beautiful, Simply Royal
Family owned and operated since 1969
TEL: 650.325.3533
2258 Camden Ave. San Jose, CA 95124 (408) 371-8000
2 M • for the woman in every mom
U.S. Pat. No. 7,007,507 • © • All rights reserved • PANDORA-JEWELRY.COM
M • for the woman in every mom 3
Don’t settle for fad diets.
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In our Los Gatos clinic, Dr. Angela
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Our physicians are part of the
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700 W. Parr Ave., Suite I Los Gatos, CA 95032
4 M • for the woman in every mom
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6 M • for the woman in every mom
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table of contents
features | departments
Jan • Feb 2010
Electric Company 34
Make an electrifying fashion statement with pale and neon hues.
Date Night 44
Fun and inexpensive ideas for a night (or day) on the town.
Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson 47
Exploring the cougar phenomenon.
First Comes Love 68
Gena Lee Nolin talks about motherhood.
the M list 17
academics & development 80
image health & beauty 26
momentum 88
emporium 50
Spend alone time with your special someone at
one of these cozy and romantic restaurants.
Fun games that will make your next family gathering or cocktail party a hit. Also our
favorite movies, music, and more!
Advanced technologies in the dental field
and tips on skincare for a beautiful new you
in the New Year.
Shop for date night essentials—clothing and accessories that will dazzle him.
home 52
Bright & sunny spaces for kids and low
maintenance swimming pools.
food & merriment 58
Savory or sweet—soup is good food.
community 64
Dr. Korb helps set realistic expectations for our
children. And January Handl helps us teach kids
that life is a package deal.
The importance of estate planning and helpful
tips for putting together a babysitting co-op.
sampled 90
roam 92
The hottest winter activities—from the ballet to
the circus—don’t miss out on the fun!
laughing matters 96
Chickysara shares dirty laundry.
a moment with... 98
A conversation with fun-loving Dominic, age 6.
Join M Magazine for a pajama party! How
needy children benefit from warm pajamas and
a bedtime story and how you can help.
8 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 9
letter from the editor
on the cover
ime flies when you’re having fun and 2009 just flew by! It’s
hard to believe that 2010 is already upon us. The New Year
brings so much to look forward to. Many of us have resolved
to take better care of ourselves and this issue has some useful information on ways to beautify and care for ourselves and our families. In
this issue, M Magazine explores the cougar phenomenon. What is
this fascination with single women in their 30’s and 40’s lately? We
also took some time to find out what former Baywatch star, Gena Lee
Nolin, has been up to since she put her Hollywood career on hold in
favor of being a full-time mom. We’ve also included some great cold
weather activities for the whole family as well as activities just for you
and your one and only. For some good old fashioned indoor fun on
these cold winter evenings, what better way to spend the night than
in front of the fireplace playing games with the whole family? For
this issue’s M List we’ve found the best games to entertain family and
friends. And with Valentine’s Day around the corner, we have done a
little research on what to wear, where to go and what to do to celebrate
the most romantic day of the year. Both this issue’s Emporium and
fashion spread offer sexy and sophisticated options to wear for that
special night out on the town. Check out our date night ideas and the
romantic restaurants we’ve sampled and get ready to share some fun
and romance with your Valentine. There’s a lot more to peruse in our
winter issue so fix yourself a cup of tea and settle into a cozy chair and
enjoy your latest issue of M Magazine! And don’t forget, we want to
hear from our readers. If you have something you want to share with
us send an email to [email protected]!
Editor in Chief
Master instructor Dave
Photos by Phyllis Lane
Gena Lee Nolin & daughter, Stella Monroe
Group Fitness on 6,000 sq ft floor!
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10 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 11
Creative Director
Shooting still life and products is therapy
for me. Don’t get me wrong—working with
people is great, especially working with amazing models like Ashley Yin, featured in our
fashion spread on page 34. But with a crazy
schedule, still life photography is like yoga to
me; very physical activity in slow motion with
a lot of concentration. That’s why shooting
some of the games for the M list on page 17
was an added bonus, not to mention fun.
Lana Bowers
Lana Bowers holds a Masters of Fine Arts
(MFA) degree in creative writing and enjoys
writing creative non-fiction (not an oxymoron!). She is an international businesswoman
and is currently working on a novella for
fourth- and fifth-grade readers. She and her
husband live in Los Gatos, CA along with
their 4-year-old son, Ben. She admits to being
a bit of a pushover when it comes to Ben,
though she’s committed to getting better.
Damon Korb MD
Dr. Korb is the director of The Center
for Developing Minds (CDM) and board
certified behavioral and developmental
pediatrician. The CDM is a multidisciplinary pediatric clinic that provides
care for children and young adults who
struggle with behavior issues, learning
difficulties, attention problems, social
skill deficits, autism spectrum disorders,
developmental delays and psychological
Sarah Lucas
Sarah has been creating unique events—both
small and large scale—for more than a decade.
While her non-profit events have entertained
hundreds of guests, raising over $4 million for
local charities, it is the creation of special cele­
brations for family and friends that truly inspires
her. She is a wife, mother of four children, and a
hostess who loves bringing people together in
a relaxed and elegant manner to celebrate life’s
events, both ordinary and extraordinary.
Monina Wright
For the past 13 years, Monina Wright has catered to some of the Bay Area’s most discerning
clientele and has had her work featured in
several publications and films. Monina combines
her makeup artistry and results-oriented skin
care to help her clients achieve the look and
image they need to stay fresh, authentic and relevant. Monina is the owner of Monina Wright
Skincare & Beauty Lounge in San Jose. Learn
more about Monina and her results oriented
skincare treatments at
for the woman in every mom
Norma Lopez Molina
Publisher | Editor in Chief
Cindy Cruz
Publisher | Creative Director
Norma Lopez Molina
Public Relations
[email protected]
Contributing writers:
April Malmborg
Bruce Hartley, M.D.
Cindy Cruz
Damon Korb, M.D.
January Handl
Kimberly Cockerham, M.D., F.A.C.S.
Lana Bowers
Monina Wright
Robert Bellavance
Robert P. Bergman, Esq.
Sarah Lucas
Lana Bowers
Monina Wright
Contributing Photographer
Phyllis Lane
Copy Editors
Cecile Cruz
Christina Howell
Advertising Account Managers
Bethanne Grisham
Charlene Rudee
Jill Penna
Kelly Christensen
Marie Barry
Mary Dokter
Online Production
Leman Uyuklu
Jeff Muhleman
President, M Magazine
M is published by M Magazine LLC.
P.O. Box 2486
Morgan Hill, CA 95037
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Santa Clara/San Jose
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M magazine the magazine for every mom is published bimonthly by M
magazine LLC. M magazine will not assume any liability or responsibility
for unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or any other materials.
© 2009 M magazineLLC. All rights reserved Printed in the USA.
12 M • for the woman in every mom
Losing weight has never been so easy!
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receive 3 free weeks with a minimum 8 week purchase, pay no
registration fee and save 10% on one Lite Market shop.
Find out more at
M • for the woman in every mom 13
1. Holding the view that the ego is the
center, object, and norm of all experience
2. Taking one’s own self as the starting
point in a philosophical system
3. The effort to get personal recognition even
through socially unacceptable
behaviors: as in“My husband was upset that
my new egocentrik hair style was
getting me too much attention from the other
men…. like extra attention is a bad thing.”
Ego Mechanix
34 South 1st street
2nd floor suite
San Jose, Ca. 95113
14 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 15
Monina offers results oriented skin care treatments
to address a large array of skin conditions.
First -time clients receive a 1.5 hour
Deluxe Facial using the latest anti-aging
Age-loc technology for only $99. Call to book your
treatment and see how we can transform your skin today.
Express Acne or Rosacea Facial Packages:
A series of 3 treatment facials for only$120.
Get your head in
the game.
Fun games for your
family and friends.
the M list
Skincare . Facials . Professional Make-up . Body Treatments . Waxing
Even the youngest of youngsters can join in a game of
Pictureka. Begin by rolling the dice and drawing a mission
card. Complete the mission on the card by finding specific
objects on the gameboard—but find it fast or lose the card.
The first player to collect six cards wins!
Game on!
3097 Moorpark Ave. Suite 102 San Jose, 95128
16 M • for the woman in every mom
Photos by Norma Lopez Molina
M • for the woman in every mom 17
From getting to know you
to testing your mental abilities
Games that will break the ice or become a family tradition
Charades A tried and true classic. Act out the movie, TV show, song, book, or play shown on
the card and get your teammates to guess your charade. The team with the most correct guesses wins!
Bananagrams Family and friends will go bananas for Bananagrams. A new spin on old-school word games, Bananagrams doesn’t require
a board, calculating points, or a dictionary. Each player arranges the tiles to make words. The object of the game is to arrange your tiles the
fastest and to exhaust all unused tiles. Flexible rules allow everyone, young and old, to join the game.
Grippa Sink or Swim
Octopi Games are a collection
of quirky, easy-to-learn dice
games for the whole family.
Each game comes complete
with dice and a
unique treasure
stored in a plush octopus
head. To play Sink or
Swim, players roll
the dice and try
to score the most points.
Fun and simple for even the
youngest players.
18 M • for the woman in every mom
Table Topics
Looking for a way to mix it up
at your next dinner or
cocktail party? Get
guests mingling by
breaking the ice with
Table Topics. Game comes
in a clear acrylic
“ice cube” containing
conversation starting cards.
Different themes give
crowds a
chance to play.
Games that reward
pop-culture junkies
Mexican Train Dominoes
Hop on board the Mexican train!
Spice up your next party with
a twist on a classic game of
dominoes. Build your train
by matching dominoes end
to end. If a player is unable
to make a match, he must
draw from the boneyard.
The object is to be the first
to get rid of all of your tiles
while accumulating as few
points as possible. Easy to learn
and fun for ages 8 to adult.
A Bit of Banter Jr.
Get to know your kids with A Bit of
Banter Jr. One player draws a card
and each player must answer the
question. There are
no right or wrong
answers—but there
may be some surprises. Learn about
your children’s
hopes, dreams, and
aspirations without
even having to pry! The
best banterer wins the game!
M • for the woman in every mom 19
the M list
media cabinet
On disc or download
On the tube
This unsuspecting comedy has worked its way up to a top three spot on my list of weekly
must-watch shows. The sitcom centers on Jeff Winger (Joel McHale, from The Soup),
a suspended lawyer, who must return to school after being disbarred for practicing with
an invalid law degree. At Greendale Community College Jeff befriends a group of quirky
misfits, all attending Greendale with something to prove. The entire cast brings laughs
but highlights include Spanish teacher, Senor Chang, played with side splitting skill by
Ken Jeong (Knocked Up, The Hangover) and dotty old man, Pierce, played by veteran
comedian, Chevy Chase. For a good laugh, make sure to add Community to your list of
must-see TV. Wednesdays at 8:00 PM on NBC. -c.c.
On the page
Enigma : The Platinum Collection
Enigma, known for their celestial sound which incorporates Gregorian chant with electronic melodies and rhythmic percussion,
releases this much anticipated 3-disc collection. The set contains Enigma’s greatest hits and includes remixes and previously
unreleased tracks. The music of Enigma fails to be categorized
with its unique and unlikely mix of soothing new-age sounding
music, multi-lingual lyrics, and the ethereal and dramatic cadence of Gregorian chant. Ambience music to be listened to with
a glass of wine or to enhance a candle-lit dinner for two. -c.c.
Dangerous Liaisons: Fashion and Furniture in the Eighteenth Century
By Harold Koda, Andrew Bolton, Mimi Hellman
Oh la la! History buffs, fashionistas, and lovers of the finer things in life can indulge their
‘gilty’ pleasures with the eye candy in this delicious book. In the fall of 2004, The Metropolitan
Museum of Art opened a spectacular exhibit displaying its extensive collection of 18th Century fashion, furniture, paintings, and decorative arts, all assembled in sumptuous vignettes
portraying the splendor of an era when everyday fashion and objects were not only meant to
please the eye, but to seduce all other senses as well. This book contains detailed photos of
decadently appointed rooms and exquisitely dressed mannequins depicting the daily life of
the 18th century aristocrat and not a single detail is overlooked. Photos vividly portray welldressed mannequins indulging in the life of leisure and luxury—playing card games, enjoying
music, yielding to amorous flirtations, and other light hearted amusements—in splendidly
beautiful settings. Each photo is accompanied by detailed descriptions and essays explore
18th century intrigues and etiquette. This
book is a sweet addition to the stack on
your coffee table.
2030: A Day in the Life of Tomorrow’s Kids
By Amy Zuckerman and James Daly
Illustrated by John Manders
Kids will love reading this book to find out what the
technology of the future will bring to the lucky kids in
the year 2030. Dogs that can speak perfect English,
broccoli spears that taste like French fries, skateboards
that fly, and a data orb, which according
to my eight-year old, is “like a cell phone
but you can do a lot more stuff with it,
like turning off your dog’s collar so you
don’t have to listen to him talk,” are just
a few of the fantastical advances that the
future has in store. A bright look at life in
the future includes eco-friendly living, energy efficient transportation and housekeeping robots. A fun read with bold and
colorful illustrations that will ignite the
imaginations of kids of all ages! -c.c.
20 M • for the woman in every mom
On DVD & Blu-Ray
Julie & Julia
Meryl Streep, Julia Child, and fine
food—what more
can a fan of all three
ask? This is a movie
with a dual story
line—one about the
life and marriage of
famous chef and
cookbook author,
Julia Child, and the
other about writer, Julie Powell, and her struggle
to become a published author. Powell decides
that in order to jump-start her writing career,
she will cook and blog her way through Julia
Child’s cookbook. Both stories fluidly portray the
lives and loves of Julie & Julia and their fervor
for cooking and good food. The good: Meryl
Streep’s portrayal of Julia Child is so authentic,
it leaves you wanting more. The bad: The Julia
storyline is far more interesting than that of Julie,
leaving viewers wanting more of Julia and less of
Julie. The Ugly: It’s hard to sympathize or even
like Julie Powell at times because she is portrayed as a spoiled, pity-party throwing whiner
in this film. Nevertheless, the romantic moments
between Julia and her hubby, played by Stanley
Tucci are enough to redeem Julie & Julia as an
entertaining and enjoyable movie, perfect for a
date night at home. -c.c.
M • for the woman in every mom 21
. 18
th -
22 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 23
health & wellness experts
Rafi Balabanian, D.D.S.
Dr. Bruce Hartley
1961 Pruneridge Avenue, Suite A
Santa Clara, CA 95050
[email protected]
Peninsula Center of Cosmetic Dentistry
99 3rd Street
Los Altos, CA 94022
Ph: 650.948.5524
Fax: 650.948.1887
Email: [email protected]
Herrera’s Cleaning
Relax! your house is clean
“Trust your home to us”
Rafi Balabanian D.D.S.,
F.A.G.D. is a fellow of
the Academy of General
Dentistry, he has been
practicing general and
cosmetic dentistry in
Santa Clara since 1990,
providing quality up-to-date care to his patients. He
is enrolled in the academy’s prestigious Mastership program to obtain MAGD, a degree that is
awarded to only 1% of all the dentists in the nation.
Dr. Balabanian restores smiles by using Lumineers®,
and has been voted “the best Invisalign® dentist” by
the readers of San Jose Magazine. He goes the extra
mile for your smile.
Dr. Angela Pollard
700 W. Parr Ave., Suite I
Los Gatos Ca 95032.
“Caring for the whole
woman” is the motto
of Dr. Angela Pollard,
FACOG. Dr Pollard
received her BA degree
from Stanford University, her medical degree
from the University of
California, San Diego,
and completed residency in Obstetrics and
Gynecology from the
University of Colorado. She specializes in comprehensive obstetrical care, gynecological and obstetrical ultrasound, laparoscopic and
noninvasive surgery, hysterectomy alternatives, cancer screening,
urinary incontinence and pelvic prolapse, pelvic pain management,
menopause, infertility, and weight management. Whether the
treatment is medical or surgical, Dr. Pollard and her team provide
a caring environment to address the physical, psychological and
behavioral needs of the whole patient.
24 M • for the woman in every mom
Since opening his
cosmetic dental practice
in 1986, Dr. Bruce
Hartley has been committed to providing
the highest standards
of quality and care to
his patients. As a master craftsman and dental
artist, he has bonded over 20,000 porcelain
restorations to renew and create beautiful
smiles for his patients. Dr. Hartley’s cosmetic
dentistry has been featured on NBC’s Today
Show, KNTV11 News, and published in Shape
Magazine, San Francisco Chronicle, and many
other publications.
Serving all of the South Bay for over
5 years, HC Herrera’s Cleaning Service
is your resource for weekly, biweekly,
or monthly cleaning. Our complete
services include kitchen and bath, floors,
dusting, and carpet cleaning. We pay
attention to the extra details that really
make a difference. We are licensed,
bonded, and locally owned and operated.
Call today for a
custom quote and find
out about our special
offers for new clients.
Take 25% off Your First Cleaning with this Ad
Dr. Kimberly Cockerham
Los Altos
762 Altos Oaks Drive , Suite 2
Phone: 650-559-9150
3351 El Camino Real, Suite 200
4170 Gross Road Extension
Dr. Cockerham is a board certified
ophthalmologist with advanced
training in facial
aesthetics, lasers and surgery. For
two decades, she has provided expert
care for children, women and men with eyelid problems that
vary from congenital changes to aging changes and trauma to
cancer. Initially eyelid focused, she has expanded her product line,
KCMD, to include options for all of your skin. KCMD is safe
for you and the environment; natural preservatives not paraben, is
vegan and even has a refill bar. Her eboutique will be available
soon for your convenience ( Dr. Cockerham
was raised in San Mateo and lives in Los Altos with her husband
Glenn, two kids (Drew 9 and Alex 6) and pug dog, Yoda. M • for the woman in every mom 25
image & health
first impressions
Perfecting Your Smile
New advances in porcelain veneers
By Dr. Bruce Hartley
Since the mid 1980’s, veneering teeth with porcelain laminates
has given people the opportunity to change an important aspect
of their persona—their smile. Studies have shown that when
meeting someone new, our eyes and our smiles are noticed first.
The impact of a nice smile speaks volumes about the person in
thin. In two visits, gapped, chipped, discolored, and short teeth
can be successfully treated using TPV technology. Even minor
rotations or crookedness can be corrected. In most cases, little or
no anesthetic (numbing) is necessary during the procedures.
A successful outcome depends on the artistic skills of the
cosmetic dentist. A full contour, tooth colored composite mockup should be made on the patient’s teeth to preview the desired
changes. The patient and doctor can both evaluate the preliminary result and make changes as needed. It takes only about 30
minutes to develop the mock-up in the mouth, and it allows the
You’re Invited!
Please join M Magazine,
ChAngels, Books Inc.
and the Pajama Program
Pajama Party!
regards to their personality, approachability, healthiness, and selfimage. For those that are self-conscious about their smile, their
true personality and likeability may be hidden behind a reluctance
to show their teeth. This in turn often leads to an inhibition in
forming relationships, and not being able to take risks where selfconfidence is needed.
Smile makeovers with porcepatient to confidently move forStudies have shown that when
lain veneers has provided a reliward knowing what the smile
able, effective, and long lasting
will look like once treatment is
meeting someone new, our eyes
solution for people who want to
complete with veneers. This step
and our smiles are noticed first.
perfect some aspect of their teeth
helps avoid getting bulky or chiand smile. In as few as two visits, a
clet-like looking teeth. Pictures,
smile that you are embarrassed by can be transformed into a beautiful
measurements, and models of the mock-up are then sent to the
new smile that allows you to confidently meet new people, go to job
laboratory so they can copy the desired shapes, lengths, and characinterviews, or perform in front of audiences.
ter of the new teeth. After a few weeks, the Thin Prepless Veneers
For twenty years, the huge upside potential of having veneers
(TPVs) arrive from the lab, and are tried on to insure they have
has been offset by the need to reduce the natural tooth by grindfaithfully reproduced the desired new look. Once the patient has
ing or “preparing” the tooth. For many people, the desire for a
approved the TPVs, they are bonded in place. Happy smiles ensue!
new smile with veneers was dampened in light of having to sacrifice tooth structure.
Now, a new technology has addressed this fundamental need
Dr. Bruce W. Hartley is the founder of the Peninsula Center of
to provide the results of beautiful veneers, without having to grind
Cosmetic Dentistry in Los Altos, California. His practice is limor reduce the teeth. The solution has finally come with Thin Prepited to smile makeovers and full-mouth reconstructions. His
less Veneers (TPV). TPVs are the latest development in cosmetic
work has been featured on NBC Today show, KRON 4 News, and
dentistry, and they are appropriate to treat 50-80% of the patients
numerous national and local magazines and newspapers. Adrequiring veneers.
ditional information on Dr. Hartley and the Peninsula Center of
No grinding or major tooth reduction is necessary to achieve
Cosmetic Dentistry can be found on He can be
the transformation. They are laboratory fabricated and papercontacted at: [email protected] or 650-948-5524.
26 M • for the woman in every mom
M Magazine, in conjunction with Books
Inc. and local mother-daughter philanthropy group, ChAngels, will host a Pajama
Party to collect books and pajamas for
local children in need. Children can create an art project, hear stories from local
authors, and enjoy yummy snacks. Please
bring new pajamas to donate and/or purchase a new book at Books Inc. to add to
the donation baskets. Books Inc. will donate 20% of the sales during the event to
the local chapter of the Pajama Program.
Guests are welcome to wear their coziest
PJ’s and slippers! Please join us for this
event and help us to share the warmth and
comfort of a good nights’ sleep!
Friday, February 5th 2010
between 4 pm-7 pm
Books Inc. in
Town & Country Shopping
Center, Palo Alto
The Aesthetics Research Center
525 Chesapeake Drive • Redwood City
Please contact Stephanie for more information:
800.442.0989 or [email protected]
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[email protected]
M • for the woman in every mom 27
image & health
healthy kids
Visit Our New State of the Art Facility
Living with Food Allergies
1515 Walsh Avenue
Santa Clara CA 95050
Resources for parents of children with food allergies
By April Malmborg
28 M • for the woman in every mom
ally manufacture it. It is important to always check with the actual
manufacturer to verify allergen and manufacturing information. Once
you become more familiar and comfortable shopping allergy-free, local grocery stores are usually more economical.
Popular brands of allergy-free foods to explore include Enjoy Life
Foods, Ener-G Foods, Envirokids, Cherrybrook Kitchen,
Tinkiyada, Amy’s, Van’s and Ian’s. These manufacturers also make food
that is not allergy-free (i.e. Van’s makes both a wheat and wheat-free
waffle) so always be sure to read the labels carefully and never assume.
Living with food allergies or a food allergic child can be isolating.
Avoid isolation. Discuss, at length, the details of your child’s allergies
with his physician. Be sure you clearly understand the severity, how
to recognize a reaction, and what do in the event of one. This information can give you the necessary confidence you need to handle a
reaction should it occur. Seek out information and support. Finding
support, whether it’s a family member, a friend or a support group, is
critical to coping with the stresses of food allergies. And finding safe,
allergy-free food that tastes good is important for your family and
your child.
ImmuneTech Corporation
888 Oak Grove Avenue, Suite 4
Menlo Park, California 94025
Phone: 800-807-1968
NEW FOR 2010
• Incredible Birthday Parties
• Martial Arts Classes
• Adult Group Fitness / Zumba
• Personal Training
©istockphoto/ MentalArt
When our son had an anaphylactic reaction at 11 months from
eating a bite of French toast and was later diagnosed with severe multiple food allergies, our lives immediately changed. Neither my husband, nor I had any experience with food allergies. It was challenging
to know where to start and there were many questions. How do I
identify a reaction? How do I know when to administer epinephrine?
Where do we find support? How do we know which foods and/or
ingredients are safe and where can I purchase these foods?
First, your doctor is an invaluable resource. He can explain the severity of your child’s allergies, describe what actions should be taken in
the event of a reaction, and detail when epinephrine should be administered. Outside of your doctor, there are several national organizations that can help guide you through the challenges your family will
face including The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN and Kids With Food Allergies (KFA -www. From education to advocacy to research,
FAAN is an essential resource to the family who has a food allergic
child. Additionally, KFA provides parents with support forums, information, news and allergy-free recipes.
Besides national organizations like FAAN or KFA, there are also
many local support groups. For example, the San Francisco Bay
Area Food Allergy Support Group (, also
called PeanutFreeSF, provides online advice and support. Additionally, they hold monthly meetings in San Mateo County, (typically
the first Wednesday of each month) for members to discuss day-today issues in a supportive environment.
Another challenge to living with food allergies is in understanding
what foods and/or ingredients are safe and where to purchase them.
FAAN offers a variety of products that can assist you in shopping. A
favorite are the “How to Read a Label” cards, which are offered for the
top eight allergens and can help you decipher whether ingredients
are afe for that particular allergen (such as whether casein or casein
hydrolysate are safe for your milk allergic child; casein is a milk
protein and is not safe for a child with an allergy to milk).
Once you understand how to read ingredient labels, where
do you find allergy-free foods? Local stores such as Whole Foods and
Trader Joes offer a wide variety of allergy-free foods including store
brands. Allergy-free foods are becoming increasingly easier to find;
you no longer have to shop at specialty food stores to find safe food
(for instance, Safeway now carries allergy-free foods). You may also
shop online. Several sites including, www.,, and
provide allergen and manufacturer information for food and ingredients. Note: Many online stores distribute products and do not actu-
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M • for the woman in every mom 29
image & health
Skin Deep
Recapturing youthful-looking skin with dermal fillers
By Kimberly Cockerham, MD, FACS
Dermal fillers have become an increasingly popular way to help
reverse changes associated with aging. Though dermal fillers can not
necessarily take the place of a face-lift, they can allow patients to put
off a surgical face-lift for years. Other advantages to dermal fillers,
besides postponing invasive surgical procedures, are the instant and
natural-looking results and the minimal time required to complete
the procedure. A patient can have a treatment during the lunch hour
and the results are immediate. There are several types of dermal fillers currently on the market, but which one is right for you?
What is a dermal filler?
A dermal filler is a natural occurring substance that is used to
fill and flatten lines on the face that are there when the face is not
moving (i.e. smiling or frowning). They can also be used to fill lines
of motion – such as the one between your eyebrows – if that area is
treated with Botox to soften or freeze the muscle action. Fillers injected into the skin increase elasticity and plump up saggy skin leaving patients with a naturally youthful appearance. Fillers can also be
used to create increased volume and enhance the shape of the lips.
The cheeks, nose, and areas around the eyes can also be enhanced.
Types of dermal fillers
While there are many different fillers available, the most commonly used ones currently are either hyaluronic acid (e.g. Restylane,
Perlane or Juvederm) or calcium hydroxyapatite (Radiesse). Calcium hydroxyapatite is terrific for the lines that extend from the nose
to the lateral aspect of the lips. These products fill more, last longer
and are preferred for nose augmentation (get rid of your bump!),
30 M • for the woman in every mom
cheek, or chin implants. Hyaluronic acid fillers are also a good option because hyaluronic acid is naturally produced in the body and is
less likely to cause an allergic reaction resulting in a smoother, more
natural appearance. There are now fillers that also have lidocaine to
make the injection less uncomfortable (Hydrelle).
Pre-treatment precautions
If you are considering having a filler and want to avoid bruising, stop things that enhance bruising including aspirin, pain relievers (except Tylenol), fish oil, flax seed, vitamin C, E, and even
garlic supplements. Stop aspirin, pain relievers and all nutritional
supplements two weeks prior to surgery. If you tend to bruise easily, consider starting oral arnica the day before the injection and
continuing until any bruising has resolved. These same precautions
should be considered with Botox and surgical procedures.
Temporary or permanent fillers?
What is really fun about fillers is that you will see the result immediately and it lasts for at least six months and sometimes as
long as a year or more. Although there are “permanent” fillers
available – any side effects would be potentially permanent. Patients should consider temporary fillers as a starting point until
they feel comfortable with the look and also are willing to potentially have permanent side effects like a lump, bump or redness.
Kimberly Cockerham, MD, FACS
Atherton – Los Altos – Capitola
M • for the woman in every mom 31
©istockphoto/ keeweeboy
image & health
More than 10 years of experience
Commercial photography
Hospitality industry
Still life
Norma Lopez Molina
Winterize Your Skin
Protecting your skin during the winter months
By Monina N. Wright
After a long, hot summer, skin goes from contending
with over-active sebaceous glands and oily skin to adjusting to cold dry weather. During the winter months it’s important to keep the moisture in your skin from evaporating. That’s because sun exposure or cold, dry air can cause
skin to become dehydrated. During the winter months
dry skin becomes the norm for most people. However
you can counteract unpleasant irritation through the winter cold by “winterizing” you skin.
Drink lots of WATER; your skin is 75% water so
make sure you are hydrating your skin from the inside
out. A good rule of thumb is to take your weight and
divide by two. This is the minimum amount of water in
ounces you should be drinking. And if you work out often
or are active in sports during the winter, then you should
drink a bit more. Omega-3s (essential fatty acids found
in foods such as salmon, walnuts, flaxseed, soybeans, and
broccoli) also help keep skin supple.
Don’t take extremely hot baths or shower or soak in the
tub for more than 10 minutes. Doing so breaks down your
skin’s natural protective oils which keep it soft and smooth.
32 M • for the woman in every mom
Turn on those humidifiers if you have your heater on.
Central heating and space heaters can dry out the air in
your home and make the air throughout your house as
dry as the Sahara Desert. And it’s even more important if
your children suffer from respiratory problems to turn on
their humidifiers too.
Use moisturizers that have a good amount of humectants
and hyluronic acid to help bind water to your skin. Your skin
readily absorbs oil better than water, so try a body cream that
contains oil (Vitamin E, Olive, Soybean and Safflower oils)
to help seal in moisture and replenish dry skin. Look for
fragrance-free products with alpha hydroxy acids, bamboo,
or pea extracts which gently exfoliate dead, dry skin to allow
more water and moisture into the skin.
Even though it’s winter, you still need to wear your Sunscreen. UVA, or the aging rays, still penetrate the skin no
matter how cold it is outside. And since dry skin is extrasensitive, it’s important to protect it from the sun, especially if it’s snowing (snow can reflect as much as 80 percent
of the sun’s rays). Remember to reapply every two hours
if your sunscreen does not use encapsulating technology.
Go to to order your test today.
Enter code “ 332” to receive a special M Magazine promotional rate!
M • for the woman in every mom 33
Trina Turk belted hot pink
dress $298 at Bloomingdale’s
Cool neutrals and shocking neon for a look of electrifying beauty
Photos by Norma Lopez Molina
Makeup by Renee Sanchez
Hair by Daisy Tan from La Belle Day Spa
Location: Oshman Family Jewish Community Center
34 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 35
Lapis Sundress, $59; That’s So Cute
Affordable Boutique Los Gatos.
Knotted Necklace, $34.50; Express.
Marc by Marc Jacobs black
coat with gold buttons $498.
BCBG sequined gold and black top
$198. Free People sequined skirt $68.
John Hardy Palu Collection 22K hammered gold shrimp earrings $450. John
BCBG cream satin dress $128 Bloomingdale’s Stanford
Hardy Palu Collection hammered gold
quartz and rutillated beaded
large round
ring $995.
$3000, quartz & ruby Palu
Gleim the
Jeweler in
Palo Alto, Los Altos and
bracelet $2000.
All available
Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
36 M • for the woman in every mom
Above center
Kova & T black poncho $164 and
Kova & T grey leggings $129 at
Boutique Harajuku Santana Row
Theory ruffled top $335
Calvin Klein chain top $59
All available at Bloomingdale’s Stanford
M • for the woman in every mom 37
Aqua white jacket $98 at Bloomindale’s Stanford
Robin’s white denim jeans $214 from Boutique Harajuku at Santana Row
Copcopine grey corset tank $184 from Boutique Harajuku at Santana Row
52 inch pearl and 18k gold lariat $4800 from Gleim the Jeweler in Palo Alto,
Los Altos and Stanford Shopping Center
Modern Elegance
Aqua gray blazer $108. Free People blue sequined shirt $68.
BCBG shirred
$128. Betsey
silver belt $40.$449.
Kenna black
T. fauxskirt
fur leopard
print Johnson
shrug at
ABS Allen Schwartz
$85. Allhat
at Fino Fino,
Menlo Park.
18K gold swirling earrings with beads $859.
22K gold hollow bead necklace $858. Both at PNG Jewelers, Sunnyvale.
38 M • for the woman in every mom
Tadashi black lace gown at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $408.
Handcrafted Gold Kanga cuff $2806 from PNG Jewelers.
Vintage style gold earrings $2950 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels.
Pretty in Pink
BCBG darted sleeve dress in fuchsia
$248. Carolee long black necklace $60.
Subtle GlamAt Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
M • for the woman in every mom 39
Sugar and spice, ruff and sweet
Velvet Tahari jacket
Black mini dress with jewel appliqué by
Deep Los Angeles, $63; That’s So Cute
Affordable Boutique Los Gatos.
BCBG lime green lycra dress $98
from Bloomingdale’s Stanford
40 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 41
We Are Math Specialists.
Mathnasium is a learning center in your
neighborhood where kids go to catch
up, keep up, and get ahead in math. The
Mathnasium Method was developed
over 30 years of hands-on instruction.
Mathnasium is Tutoring That Works.
Sophisticated assessments shape a
customized learning program for each
student. At each lesson, passionate,
specially-trained instructors provide
one-on-one teaching to ensure success.
Mathnasium achieves outstanding
results in just 6 to 12 months.
Membership costs as little as $215 per
month with unlimited attendance that’s less than $20 per session!
Ravi Pillai
Director, Mathnasium Cupertino
1035 S. De Anza Blvd.,Cupertino, CA 95129
[email protected]
Commercial and
Product photography for catalogs and advertising
More than 10 years of experience
Norma Lopez Molina
Call Today! 408.973.8281 Learn More at
Advertise with M Magazine
call 408-834-5434 or email
[email protected]
M Magazine is the place where the
very best businesses really stand out.
42 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 43
Live, Love, Laugh!
Saturday night is abuzz with entertainment options in downtown
San Jose. For those who believe laughter really is the best medicine,
check out Comedy Sportz. Located in San Jose’s Camera 3 Cinema,
Comedy Sportz is a live, interactive, improv show that’s exactly the
same— but completely different—every time. To quote their website:
“Not comedy about sports but comedy as sport.” Comedy Sportz hosts
two teams of improvisational actors who compete against each other
in games such as “Shakespeare,” “Forward/Reverse” and “Elimination
Rap.” Bring a tissue—you’ll need it to dab your eyes as you laugh your
way to a winner. Come back another time and bring the kids along—
they’ll enjoy it as well. But this time it’s just for the two of you.
When the show’s over, put on your coat and scarf and stroll arm in
arm, three blocks over to the Fairmont Hotel. Grab a seat in the plush
Lobby Lounge where you can enjoy a snack and a drink—a glass of
wine, a martini, herbal tea, or a late-night espresso. Sit back. Relax.
Chat about the show, the kids and life in general, while live music
plays in the background. You just might remember why you fell in love
in the first place!
By Lana Bowers
New Year’s Resolution #14: This year, I do hereby
resolve to spend more time with my significant other.
Comedy Sportz
Camera 3 Cinema
288 S. Second Street
San Jose, CA 95113
Saturday Showtimes: 7pm and 9pm.
Tickets: $15/Adults
The Lobby Lounge at
the Fairmont San Jose
170 South Market Street
San Jose, California 95113
Live music is free. Drinks vary in price.
All Dressed up with Somewhere to Go
The Bay Area is famous for its casual atmosphere, but sometimes
dressing up makes all the difference! Shine up those black, strappy
heels and don the little black dress and a spritz of perfume. Pull out
his favorite tie. Is a boutonnière too much to ask? Also located in the
heart of downtown San Jose, is Azucar!, featuring Nuevo Latino cuisine, an impressive list of fruit-infused mojitos and upbeat salsa music
beginning at 9pm (on weekends). Cozy up over a table for two by the
window, raise your mojitos in a toast and enjoy your dinner. When the
music starts, take his boutonniere in between your teeth, throw your
head back and kick up your heel. Ole!
71 E. San Fernando Street
San Jose, CA 95113
Reservations recommended and can be made online through
their website or at Entree prices are under
The endless hours
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café or,
that you
are. TV
want to watch.
Sure, it would be great to spend a little “alone time” with the one you love but now,
the demands on your time can make it seem impossible to break away. Plus, what would
you do? The hours are no longer endless. There’s limited time and limited budget and
sometimes it’s simply easier...
Remember what it was like before you had kids?
The Great Outdoors
For the outdoor lover in all of us, this date begins late-afternoon.
Bundle up in layers and ask the sitter to come early while you enjoy
a hike and dinner. Best done on a clear day (and even better in the
springtime), the Sneath Lane Trail to Sweeney Ridge in San Bruno
offers stunning, panoramic views. Visit the San Francisco Bay Dis-
covery Site, a National Historic Landmark that identifies the very
spot in which members of Gaspar de Portoló’s 1769 expedition first
sighted the San Francisco Bay. You can also see some amazing views
of the Pacific Ocean from here and, if you’re lucky, you may catch a
glimpse of the famous shark-infested Farallon Islands. Bring your
water bottle and be prepared for a workout as this hike has some strenuous uphill climbs. The out-and-back trek covers approximately three
miles and should take about an hour to an hour-and-a-half. Follow
Skyline Blvd. north in San Bruno (off 280) to access the Sneath Lane
Once back in your car, cut over to Highway 1 and head south to
Sam’s Chowder House in Half Moon Bay. Arrive just before 5PM so
you have plenty of time to grab a drink, order an appetizer and settle
into a table with a view. This restaurant-bar holds court to some of
the most stunning sunsets in the world. The executive chef promotes
fresh, seasonal dishes with local ingredients when available. Stay for
dessert—you’ve earned it! Sam’s also features live music in the bar.
The Sweeney Ridge Trail and Sweeney Ridge are part of the National Park Service US Department of Interior’s Golden Gate National Recreation Area in San Bruno, CA. Plan your visit and learn
more about the area at this link:
The Golden Gate National Parks Conservancy also has information:
Sam’s Chowder House
4210 North Cabrillo Hwy,
Half Moon Bay, CA 94019
Price: moderate to expensive—with tax and tip you could easily
reach $100 for the two of you
Day Trippin’
Who Says “Date Night” has to be only at night? Planning a midweek, mid-day break can re-energize both of you. While the kids are at
school, daycare, your mother-in-law’s house, or with a sitter, take a halfday from the office, the chores and the errands. Head over to Pluto’s in
downtown Palo Alto for lunch. Customize a salad made fresh just for
you. Once you’ve finished, cozy up for a post-lunch latté at the University Cafe. Take a seat by the window and watch the people go by.
After lunch, stroll down University Blvd. to the Aquarius theater
on Emerson. Featuring independent and foreign films, the Aquarius
offers offbeat fun that’ll make you think. Bargain pricing is available
for most matinee showings.
482 University Avenue @ Cowper
Palo Alto, CA 94301
University Cafe
271 University Avenue
Palo Alto, CA 94301
(650) 322-5301
Aquarius Theater
430 Emerson St.
Palo Alto, CA 94301
Bargain pricing for all shows before 6PM, M-F ($7.00)
M magazine
Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson
call 408-834-5434 or email
[email protected]
Cougars, Cubs & Dating after 40 By Cindy Cruz
46 M • for the woman in every mom
© chemc
M Magazine is the place where the
very best businesses really stand out.
M • for the woman in every mom 47
owrrr! There’s a new cat in town and she’s a cougar.
In case you haven’t noticed, cougars have been getting a lot of attention lately, and unless you’ve been
living under a rock, you’ve heard this term before. Lately
there has been a deluge of “cougar” shows on TV including
“Cougar Town” with Courtney Cox as a 40-something single
mom who returns to the dating scene with a vengeance. And
according to, the word ‘cougar’ is #1 on the list
of top ten buzz words.
a remarkable shift about who’s more excited about whom. Now
the cubs want the cougars more than the cougars want the cubs.
The cubs have basically discovered that there are millions of
attractive older women out there that would be great to chase
after. And I think part of it has to do with the leader of the cubs
who, ironically, is a Yankee. It all changed with Alex Rodriguez
when he started dating Madonna. All of a sudden, here’s the
$250 million man, a man who could have any woman he wants,
the most famous baseball player in the world, and he’s dating a
50-year old woman. And what’s happened [too] is Hollywood is
the trendsetter. Women in Hollywood are dating younger guys
so now it’s socially acceptable for women to date younger guys.
And the younger guys are starting to date the older women. It’s
socially acceptable to go either way. Celebrities are always the
trendsetters. Whatever the celebrities are doing this year, the rest
of the world is going to do next year.”
What is a cougar?
In case you’re unfamiliar, defines a
cougar as:
“A 35+ year old female who is on the ‘hunt’ for a much
younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can
frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up
against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting,
watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path.”
Supply vs. Demand
Rich also credits supply vs. demand to the sudden phenomenon. “The critical mistake that women make is that they are
conditioned to go for older men. The problem is that once a
woman hits 40, she finds that the pool of eligible men shrinks
dramatically. And the basic mistake that women have been making for years is dating older men. That works fine when you’re 19,
but it just doesn’t work when you’re 40-plus. And the solution
is very obvious. Instead of dating older men who are in short
supply, why not date younger men who are in heavy supply? So
that’s where the cougar phenomenon comes from. It’s just out of
necessity. If a woman over 40 wants to find a man, she has to go
younger rather than older because there just aren’t enough older
men to go around. They’re either all married—or dead. In all seriousness, the average man in the United States lives five years less
than the average woman, so every year that a woman gets beyond
40, the pool of available men shrinks and shrinks until eventually it’s non-existent. For years and years, the intelligent woman
knew that if you want to get a man you have to go younger rather
than older—there just aren’t enough men available that are older.
Women over 40 have to date younger men or stay home alone.
That’s their choice.”
Often, she is pictured as a botoxed, breast-implanted,
lonely, and desperate bimbo, but this is not always the case.
Younger men, referred to as ‘cubs,’ are often attracted to cougars because not only are these women attractive, but they
are successful and confident and they know what they want
both in life and in the men they date.
Carrie, age 40, an attractive and successful statuesque
blonde defines being a cougar as “…a woman who is ageless
whom guys of all ages are going after. ‘I’m a cougar and I
don’t seek out young men, but they are always asking me out
and pursuing me. There is this definition I don’t like which
is the older woman who is chasing after 20-somethings and
that’s not me. And then there’s this other perception that it’s
an older woman who is ageless but whom guys of all ages
are going after and that’s how I look at it now and that’s the
experience I’ve had.’”
But being labeled a cougar did not always sit well with her.
“I was horrified. I didn’t think I would fall into the ‘cougar’
category and I kind of thought of cougars as these Orange
County facelift ladies. I did not think it was flattering at all.
The more media attention the term gets though, the better it
gets for us. Like Jennifer Aniston is a cougar; and for the TV
show, Cougar Town, to come on and Courtney Cox, oh my
God, she’s so hot! It’s not so much associated with age anymore. I take it as a compliment—it’s kind of like somebody
saying you’re totally hot. It’s different than it used to be.”
48 M • for the woman in every mom
Happily ever after?
Although playing the dating game is exciting, most people
eventually hope to find love and a permanent relationship—can a
cougar-cub relationship have a happy ending?
According to Rich, “Some people are looking for a one-night
stand and some are looking for marriage. The amazing thing is
that a lot of the cubs are now marrying cougars. And, of course,
the greatest example of that are Ashton Kutcher and Demi
Moore. There are a lot of younger men today who are marrying
older women so it’s not just about a romp in the hay.
And while Carrie is enjoying the dating scene, she does feel
that she would like to be in a relationship again someday. “I always said, after I got separated, ‘I want to get into a relationship,’
but recently I’ve been saying ‘It’s been 3 years since I’ve been
single and I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.’ Now,
if the right guy came along, I could shift that mentality but right
now I’m dating so many people. So for now I’m just dating and
I’m really happy with it. “
Cougars vs. Bobcats
© NejroN
© dimafoto
The Cougar Phenomenon
Rich Gosse, Executive Producer of,
the world’s largest non-profit singles organization says, “The
media can not get enough of cougars. It’s just phenomenal
worldwide.” While has been throwing
younger men-older women parties and events for several
years, it’s not until lately that these ‘cougar’ parties have
become all the rage. Rich attributes this to the recent mindshift in the men in America. “They now realize there are a
lot of hot women out there who happen to be older rather
than younger than they are. All of a sudden the cubs have
discovered the cougars.”
Rich goes on to say that, “In the past, it was not socially
acceptable for younger men to go after older women in
America. Their buddies would make fun of them. For years
and years a younger guy wouldn’t be caught dead dating an
older woman. It would lower his self-esteem and his stature
in the bachelor community. In the last year there has been
lot of these younger guys are discovering that these older women
are more mature, they have their act together, they don’t play games
and they’re just more appropriate for a permanent relationship,
whereas a lot of the younger women they date aren’t mature and
are game players, and they aren’t ready to settle down.”
So if it’s a matter of supply vs. demand, wouldn’t it stand to
reason that cougars and their 20-something counterparts, referred to as Bobcats or Pumas, are competing for the same men?
Carrie explains that “…an attractive guy is an attractive guy and
he will get attention from all age groups. I was at Sino last week
and my girlfriend and I were talking to a group of [younger] guys
and this youngster, like early 20’s, cut in on the conversation and
I tell you, and this is where I can say with confidence, that there
is a difference in attitude. This girl was over the top just trying to
get this man’s attention and throwing herself at him and he was
not interested in this desperate girl who couldn’t even just hang
and have fun. And that happens all the time. He wanted to hang
out with us [cougars].
It seems that we get more attention than the younger girls,
and I know that it has to do with our attitudes. We’re not out
there chasing men. We’re out there to have a good time and if we
meet people while we’re doing it, all the better. So there’s definitely a difference in women that are in their late 30’s and early
40’s in terms of what they’ve established, like their confidence.
Also, some of us have already had kids—like in my case. I’m not
in a race to get married, my clock’s not ticking. I’ve already been
married. I’ve already had kids, so that is something that differentiates us. On the other side, there are the younger ladies who
haven’t been married and their clocks are ticking big time.”
Rich agrees that attitude and confidence make a difference. “A
Famous Cougars (Past and Present)
& their Cubs
Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry
Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher.
Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer
Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake
Madonna & Alex Rodriguez
Madonna & Carlos Leon
Eva Longoria & Tony Parker
Janet Jackson & Jermaine DuPri
Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi
M • for the woman in every mom 49
Date night essentials
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Woven silk belt in navy with multicolored Swarovski
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Givenchy Urania Feather and
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Sexy feather-embellished textured
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everything you need for that come hither look
50 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 51
Let the sun shine in
Sunny yellow and vivid neon green fabrics and
accessories punctuate the austerity of a bright, white
space. Simple, modular style furniture, a textured rug
in a subtle, natural color, and the minimal addition of
decorative pieces lends sophistication to a cheerful
room that a young child can easily grow up in.
Bold and Bright
Sunny colors that
add warmth and
cheer to any
child’s space.
© Auris
Don’t let your decorating fears and
inhibitions get the best of you when
decorating a space for your child. This
is the time to experiment with colors
and designs that you may not otherwise
consider in another space in your home.
Bold colors that may be over-the-top
in your living room can make a child’s
room cheerful and inviting.
52 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 53
It’s hip to be square
No need to think out of the box
when using quadratics as the
focal feature of your design. There’s
nothing square about squares when
they are partnered with hot pink.
Tangerine dreams
The addition of simple wall panels painted in
a vivid orange matched with brightly colored
bedding adds a punch of color to an
otherwise neutral space.
A child’s room is a multi-functional space—a
place to play, sleep, read, and study. Make
sure you include elements in the room that
will accommodate these activities—a desk
for doodling and doing homework, an inviting and well-lit seating area for reading, a
roomy play area, and, of course, a comfortable place to sleep.
54 M • for the woman in every mom
© Auris
Space case
Sky blue, sunny yellow, and bright orange accented with touches of
grey and silver and mixed with curved angles and circular shapes make
for futuristic surroundings.
© Auris
Rich text
It’s no secret that kids accumulate a lot
of stuff so take this into consideration
when selecting pieces to furnish the room.
Thoughtful storage ideas include under-thebed drawers, cubbies, bookshelves, overhead
cabinets, and free-standing floor-to-ceiling
closets and armoires.
M • for the woman in every mom 55
outdoor living
Swimming Pool Innovations
By Robert Bellavance
It’s not too early to begin considering
the benefits of having your own backyard
oasis, featuring a pool for everyone to
enjoy. Imagine your own outdoor retreat
complete with a beautiful swimming
pool, perfect for entertaining friends,
family and neighbors. With the latest
in swimming pool innovations, it’s less
expensive and easier to maintain a swimming pool now more than ever.
Energy Efficiency
Variable Speed Pumps
With the rising costs of energy, the
swimming pool industry has had to evolve
to produce new ways of building swimming
pools that are more energy efficient. In light
of recent California energy laws that mandate
new standards regarding filtration equipment for swimming pools, all
pumps sold in California must now be able to operate in two-speed or
multi-speed mode. Variable speed pumps can cut energy costs up to
90% by using a much lower speed—similar to driving a car at a slower
speed to increase gas mileage. The pump can be programmed to meet
the varying requirements of the pool, spa, water feature or solar powered heating system. Computer systems are now available to customize
different water features to run at intervals throughout the day to allow
for the optimal amount of filtration while keeping energy costs down.
Solar Heating
Heating a swimming pool is an ideal solar application because
the systems are simple and relatively inexpensive. Pool systems usually use simple, low cost, unglazed plastic collectors and the pump
already used for filtering pool water will also circulate water through
the solar collectors. Once you set the temperature of the pool on
the automatic controller, the sun will do the rest. Solar energy will
heat the water as it flows through each panel and the heated water
will then flow back to into the pool. Most solar systems pay for
themselves after a few years.
56 M • for the woman in every mom
Swimming Pool Maintenance Made
Low Chlorine Water Management System
For many years, the most common method
of sanitizing pool water has been to add large
amounts of chlorine to kill algae, bacteria
and viruses. Unfortunately, because chlorine
is highly toxic, it is also unhealthy and highly
irritating for swimmers. One of the best new
systems is a three-fold method utilizing ozone,
ionization and low chlorine residual. First,
ozone, a powerful oxidizer, is created in the
water and does not add any dissolved solids
to the water. Next, the water is sent through
ionization sanitizing using minerals of zinc,
copper and silver. These natural purifiers are
released into the water to stop algae, bacteria,
and virus growth. Finally, a small residual of
chlorine is added as a back-up purifier. This
system results in sparkling pool water, a healthy
and non-irritating swimming experience, and 80-90% reduction of
chlorine in the water with the least work and the lowest cost to the
Interior Surfaces
The latest innovations in interior swimming pool surfaces allow for
visual appeal as well as easy maintenance and are the newest alternative to traditional plaster surfaces. Pebble Tec® superior quality pool
finishes offer greater life expectancy and long term color consistency,
making maintenance almost unnecessary. Beadcret® is another alternative to glass tile at one-tenth the cost. Similar to a pebble surface,
Beadcrete® uses small glass beads resulting in a surface as smooth as
glass. Again the design possibilities are endless and the quality and
durability makes pool resurfacing a thing of the past.
The May Family Home — Almaden Valley, CA
featuring their Akeena Solar Power System
Mention M Magazine and receive a Special Offer
Royal Pools
2258 Camden Ave. San Jose, CA 95124 (408) 371-8000
M • for the woman in every mom 57
food & merriment
comfort food
Soup’s On
When there’s a chill in the air and you can feel the
cold in your bones, there’s nothing better to warm
you, body and soul, than a big bowl of homemade
soup. So, come in from the cold, light up the fireplace, and cozy up to a big bowl of comfort.
Easy Carrot Ginger Soup
Recipe and photo courtesy
2 lb. carrots, peeled and cut into 1 inch pieces
4 cups water
1 tablespoon olive oil
1-1/2 cups chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons freshly grated ginger
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon ground fennel
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
3-4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
3/4 cup toasted cashews
1. Place the carrots in a medium saucepan and add the water.
2. Bring to a boil, cover and cook until the carrots are very
tender (10-15 minutes).
3. Heat the olive oil in a small fry pan. Add onion and
cook over medium heat until translucent.
4. Add ginger, garlic, salt, and spices.
5. Lower the heat and continue to saute for another 8-10
minutes, until the onions are soft.
6. Stir in lemon juice.
7. Combine the spice-onion mixture with the carrots and
the cashews.
8. Use a blender to puree the mixture until smooth.
9. Once smooth, pour back into the saucepan and prepare
to serve.
10. Top with a dollop of sour cream.
Casual, Contemporary Global Cuisine
1 tablespoon butter
4 cups fresh corn (see cook’s note regarding frozen corn)
1/4 teaspoon granulated sugar
Salt and pepper to taste
Garnish: chopped basil or parsley
Caramelized Corn Chowder
Recipe and photo courtesy Mary Bergfeld author of
1 teaspoon canola or vegetable oil
6 slices slab bacon, diced
1 large onion, diced
4 teaspoons chopped garlic
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 quart chicken stock
4 large Yukon gold potatoes, diced
1 cup heavy cream or half-and-half
1 to 2 teaspoons hot pepper sauce (e.g. Tabasco)
1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
58 M • for the woman in every mom
1. Heat oil in a 5 to 6-quart stockpot. Add bacon and cook
until bacon is brown and crisp. Transfer to paper toweling.
Set aside.
2. Add onion to pan and cook until onions are tender, about 5
minutes. Stir in garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute.
Blend in flour and cook until it begins to brown. Whisk in stock.
Add potatoes and cook until tender, about 10 minutes. Add
cream, hot pepper sauce to taste and basil. Keep warm.
3. Meanwhile, heat butter in a large skillet. Add the corn and
sugar; stir to distribute sugar. Cook, without stirring, until underside is brown, about 4 minutes. Turn and cook until reverse
side is brown, about 4 minutes longer.
4. Add corn and reserved bacon to soup. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Simmer for 10 minutes. Garnish with parsley or
basil. Yield: 6 generous servings.
Cook’s Note: Thawed frozen corn may be used if patted dry.
Sample Tasting Menu
Pan-Seared Foie Gras w/ Rhubarb Compote
Butter Poached Halibut w/ Caramelized Fennel & Caviar
Rare Ahi w/ Baby Bok Choy and Citrus Soy
Grilled Skirt Steak w/ Pearl Pasta & Figs
Grilled Lamb Chop w/ Mediteranean Flavors
11 College Ave Los Gatos, CA 95030 (408) 395-2808
[email protected]
M • for the woman in every mom 59
food & merriment
Comfort food
Optional Fruit Salsa
1/2 cup strawberries, diced
1/2 cup fresh pineapple, diced
1/2 cup kiwi, diced
1 teaspoon sugar
Whipped cream
Chocolate Soup
Recipe and photo courtesy Mary Bergfeld author of
4 cups whole milk
1 can sweetened condensed milk (14 oz)
1 bag Ghirardelli bittersweet choc chips (11 1/2 oz)
1/4 cup Kahlua or other coffee-flavored liqueur, optional
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon espresso powder, optional
1) Combine whole milk, condensed milk, choc chips, liqueur,
and salt in a saucepan.
2) Bring to a simmer over medium-low heat, whisking
constantly. Reduce heat to low and cook, whisking often,
until chocolate melts and mixture is smooth, 20-25 minutes
(as the chocolate melts, it may look a little grainy but don’t
worry-it will smooth out, but whisk it often as it heats).
Remove soup from heat.
3) Whisk vanilla and espresso powder together in a small
bowl until dissolved; stir into the “soup.”
4) If using salsa, toss strawberries, pineapple, kiwi and sugar
together in a bowl.
5) Serve soup warm and top with “salsa” and a dollop of
whipped cream, if desired.
Cook’s Note: You can make the “soup” ahead and reheat
(over LOW heat) but make the “salsa “ right before serving
so it is fresh.
$20 Off
your first month in class
San Jose locations & new members only
Expires FEB-13-10 bap 12.09
San Jose:
Great Oaks (408) 360-9400
Race (408) 280-5437
60 M • for the woman in every mom
Malone (408) 269-5437
Cambrianna (408) 377-1005
Sunnyvale Gym (408) 823-8492
Sunnyvale Pool (408) 732-2257
Santa Clara Gym (408) 615-3199
M • for the woman in every mom 61
Makeup Artist
As seen on the covers and fashion spreads of M magazine
nket beauties
Makeup artist for Weddings, Special Events,
Fashion Shows, Advertising, and Editorial
e bright & beautiful swimsuits!
For consultation and more information
Call 408. 204.7918 or email
[email protected]
62 M • for the woman in every mom
Travis Whitfield ESQ
Thoughtful, Decisive Legal Representation
Going through a divorce is
difficult enough. Finding an
attorney who is knowledgeable
and understanding doesn’t make
things any easier. That’s why,
for many people who are going
through the difficult process of
divorcing, Travis Whitfield is
the attorney you need to provide
thoughtful, decisive legal
With seventy percent of his clients being women, Whitfield is sensitive and
thoughtful in dealing with his clients’ circumstances and needs. In most cases,
his clients are married to businessmen or professionals and have two or more
children. Many of the women he represents have become dependent on their
husbands and, when it comes to divorce, they don’t question what their husbands have told them regarding their rights and obligations.
During the initial consultation, Whitfield informs clients of what they are entitled
to and what their rights truly are. Whitfield doesn’t consider himself to be a hero
though. He has only his clients’ best interest in mind when educating them on the
issues of child custody, spousal support and property division. “If women proceed
with the divorce promptly,” he says, “the results are good.” When a woman spends
too much time considering divorce and doesn’t file right away, she loses out financially. “What happens in this case,” says Whitfield, “is that while the woman
has not yet decided to file, her spouse has already been advised by his lawyer to
liquidate his assets.” “If a woman is ready to divorce, she owes it to herself and her
children to inquire about her rights. She should not believe what she is being told by
her friends and her husband because that information is almost always inaccurate.”
Though many of his clients are women, Whitfield counsels many Bay Area men.
Whitfield encourages male clients not to be overly generous but also to avoid being so
combative that the assets are ground up in the divorce. From the husband’s perspective, it’s important to get the matter to court as quickly as the law allows. “The idea is
to get everything on the table, make a reasonable offer and insist that the matter get to
trial without delay. If you do that, you hold overall costs and the loss of equity down.”
Whitfield does not discriminate when it comes to his clients but there is one
exception to this rule. “I will not defend a man who does not pay child support.
It’s just not right.”
“When an individual is considering divorce, especially women, time is of
the essence,” Whitfield stresses. “From a legal standpoint, I will not be able to
do as a good a job for the client who waits as for the client who acts promptly.”
• Sitters
• Hotel Sitting
• Special Occasions
• Corp. Events
• Nannies
Serving the Greater Bay Area - Call 866-685-0450
Mediation or Traditional Litigation?
Mediation generally is most advantageous for the spouse who has the superior
financial power. In short, if one spouse earns a large proportion of family income
and controls most of the community assets, that person would want to “mediate.”
The spouse who has little knowledge of financial affairs, makes little or no family
income, and has spent the marriage caring for children or a spouse, would generally
suffer severely by mediating. The legal costs of traditional litigation are generally
very low when compared to what the disadvantaged spouse may lose by mediating.
Phone 408-879-9039 Fax 879-9327
2055 Junction Avenue, Suite #118 San Jose, California 95131
M • for the woman in every mom 63
Congratulations to Best Friends
Diana and Monica!
Have you been through thick and thin together? Is she the one you can count
on for anything and everything? Does she know all of your dirty little secrets
and seen you at your worst, but she still loves you? Have you always wanted
to thank her for being your BFF but just don’t know how to? Well, this is your
chance! Send us a photo of you and your best gal pal and tell us in 500 words
or less why your best friend deserves a day of pampering and a fresh new look!
If your pal gets chosen, both of you will have the opportunity to win a fabulous
prize package including:
A hair cut and style for you and your BFF by renowned
stylist, Paulo Candido, owner of Ego Mechanix Salon in
San Jose.
Facial and professional make-up from Monina Wright
Skincare & Beauty Lounge.
From the top
Fashion Show by Red Haute & Co. and Santana Row retailers.
Cindy Fisher, Chairman Christmas Tree Elegance 2009. Barbara Campisi,
Public Relations Chairman and Past President. Cindy Fisher and Heidi
Bonneau, President of Valle Monte League. Acrobats from Earth Circus
Production. Models from Look Model Agency and Halvorson Model
Agen­cy. Laurie Woodward, Christmas Tree Elegance Chairman (2010).
Valle Monte League
Girlfriend Getaway Package at the Hotel Valencia Santana
Row. The package includes an overnight stay at the Santana Row luxury hotel, two complimentary cocktails, deluxe
continental buffet breakfast for two in the hotel’s restaurant,
Citrus, and two Valencia shopping bags filled with goodies
to make the slumber party complete.
My name is Monica and I met my best friend, Diana,
a little over 20 years ago. It was the summer before
the 8th grade. We’ve been best friends every since.
I am a single mother of two beautiful children and
I am in college getting an Associates degree in Administration of Justice. Diana has been there every
step of the way. She has given me amazing support
in everything I do and gives me strength when I need
it most. She always seems to be there to pick me up
when times get hard. She goes above and beyond
when it comes to me and my children.
I think Diana deserves this makeover more than
anyone. She has overcome some terrible hardships in
her life. Her mother passed away from breast cancer
ten years ago and two years ago, she lost two babies
within 6 months of each other. We’ve been through
thick and thin together and I would love to show her
how much I love and appreciate her by giving her this
best friends makeover. It would just add to the fun
times we’ve shared throughout the years and really
show her how much she truly means to me! I would
love to add another memory to the many we already
share together!
I am forever grateful for her and everything she has
done for us, and I am thankful that she is my best
Thank you for this opportunity,
Monica Vann
Christmas Tree Elegance Event
M Magazine was delighted to be a guest at the Valle Monte League’s Christmas Tree Elegance event at the San Jose Doubletree Hotel this
past December. Beautiful Christmas trees, a silent auction, and an exciting fashion show were all part of the festivities to benefit the following
charities: Family & Children Services, The John XXIII Senior Center, The Centre for Living with Dying, The Alzheimer’s Activity Center,
and Services for Brain Injury.
64 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 65
Why It’s Important
Dr. Charlotte Yen Aderman,
PsyD of Children’s Health Council,
wrote that “For most children, bedtime represents separation, whether
from an alert state to one of slumber
or from caregivers to one’s own bed.
This is why bedtime often involves
comforting rituals and transitional
objects, such as a favorite story,
blankie, or stuffed animal. Separation anxiety for children who have
been abandoned in one form or
another is even more pronounced.
I believe that gifts of pajamas and
bedtime stories would help begin to
create a sense of security for children whom this has been severely lacking, and to make bedtime a more anticipated and pleasant moment.”
How you and your children can help
On February 5th, M Magazine, in conjunction with Books
Inc. and local mother-daughter philanthropy group ChAngels, will
host a Pajama Party to collect books and pajamas for local children
in need at Books Inc. in Town and Country, Palo Alto between
4pm and 7pm. Children can enjoy making an art project, local authors’ readings and yummy snacks. Guests are encouraged to bring
new pajamas to donate and/or purchase a new book at Books Inc.
to add to the donation baskets. Books Inc. will donate 20% of the
sales during the event to our local chapter of the Pajama Program.
Guests are welcome to wear their coziest PJ’s and slippers! Please
join us for this event and help us to share the warmth and comfort
of a good nights’ sleep!
Accrediting Commission
66 M • for the woman in every mom
Girl Scouts, and church youth
groups—all who have given the
children in their organizations an
opportunity to raise donations for
other children,” said Zambrano.
“It’s such a great opportunity to
teach children how important it is
to help each other when you can.”
A simple solution
Seeing that a basic need could be easily filled, the Pajama Program
was founded in New York in 2001 by Genevieve Piturro and Alice
Quirk to offer warmth and nourishment for underprivileged children by providing them with pajamas and books. With 77 chapters
in 44 states throughout the United States and six in California alone,
the Pajama Program has provided more than 410,000 pairs of PJ’s
and 140,000 books to children nationwide in the past 8 years.
In December of 2006, local moms and best friends April FuchsSmith and Pallie Zambrano took over the Northern California
chapter. “As moms, we both enjoy the special time when the kids are
in their PJ’s and cuddled up sharing a good bedtime story,” shared
Zambrano. “It’s heart breaking to know that there are thousands
of kids in Northern California who do not get to have that magical
moment every night. The Pajama Program gives us a way to touch
hundreds of children in our own community each year.”
The Northern California chapter works with over 35 local organizations, including Edgewood Center for Children, First Steps
for Families, and Shelter Network. While donations are down
from previous years, “…we have had a lot of support from schools,
Pajamas. Whether they are
footy or fuzzy, striped or plain,
just the word conjures up feelings of warmth, security and
happiness. Pajamas are a comfortable end to a long day, or
what we don’t want to slip out
of on a cozy morning. Throw
in a fairy tale or a tale of adventure, and sweet dreams will
surely follow.
But what if you never knew
this comfort, this feeling of being tucked into bed in clean,
comfortable clothing? Of drifting off to sleep to the sounds of
pirates’ swords clashing or fairies fluttering about? What if
you went to bed at night in the
clothes you had spent your entire day wearing? What if there
were no bedtime story—no
tales of adventure or escape or
of learning or hope? The night
would be filled with restlessness
and discomfort.
By Sarah Lucas
at our Open House!
Bringing sweet dreams to kids in need
For a child, nothing is more important than
a good night’s sleep for proper growth,
health, and cognitive function, and fresh
pajamas and a wonderful tale can send
them on their way to sweet dreams and a
healthier, happier, brighter morning.
Join Uß
The Pajama Program
SEngaging curriculum
using accelerated Core
Knowledge Sequence
SInfusing music,
fine arts, and science
SPromoting high-
expectations and
SFull and half day
kindergarten and
preschool programs
SExtended care
©istockphoto/ Bolot
the important things
until 6:00 p.m.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
SSafe, nurturing
10:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.
Fremont • (510) 438-9745
Los Gatos • (408) 371-3020
Morgan Hill • (408) 776-8801
Palo Alto • (650) 493-1151
San Francisco • (415) 333-3134
San Jose • (408) 363-2130
San Jose Middle School • (408) 626-0001
g Santa Clara Pomeroy • (408) 244-4073
Openi0n10!Santa Clara Middle School • (408) 244-4073
Sunnyvale DeAnza Park • (408) 732-4424
Fall 2
SDaily tours
Saturday, February 6, 2010
10:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.
Voted one of the
“Best Private Schools”
by readers of Bay Area
Parent magazine
Sarah Lucas is a wife and mother of four, local philanthropist,
event designer and proud member of ChAngels. To see what
else the ChAngels are up to, visit their blog at
Santa Clara • (408) 244-2121
Sunnyvale Washington Park • (408) 737-1500
Learn more, visit
C e l e b r a t i n g 10 y e a r s i n e d u c a t i o n
Preschool State License Numbers: 073402482, 013417816, 434404890, 434408056,
434407977, 434404336, 434406722, 434408877, 384001837, 434410807, 434410816.
S The Best Preparation for a Lifetime of Learning MS
• for the woman in every mom 67
Gena Lee recently took some time to
share her perspective on motherhood
and her plans for the future.
First Comes Love
Interview by Cindy Cruz
Photos by Phyllis Lane
Best known for her former role as the sexy and conniving Neely
Capshaw on the international smash hit, Baywatch, Gena Lee
Nolin put her Hollywood career on hold to dedicate her time
to raising her children, Spencer, 13, Hudson Lee, 4, and Stella
Monroe, 12 months. She is also stepmother to Caia, 8, who is
the daughter of her husband, NHL hockey player, Cale Hulse.
After spending the past few years as a stay-at-home mom, she
is now ready to revamp her career and is set to host a new television series, currently in development. Also in the works, the
stunning mother of three is working on a book which delves
into her own experiences with motherhood and touches on the
trials and triumphs of postpartum depression.
68 M • for the woman in every mom
Was it difficult to give up your career to raise your family?
No, I never felt like I gave up anything. In seven years I did
three amazing shows, so a part of me was just simply burnt out.
12-16 hour days, six days a week, traveling for press meant not
being present for my son (Spencer), who was 18 months to 5
years at the time. The deal breaker for me was coming home
after a two-week press trip to Hong Kong and India; I ran into
Spencer’s arms and he said, “Hi Gia (Gina)!” I was devastated
and knew right then and there what I had to do. However, I do
have an enormous amount of respect for other actresses like, Jennifer Garner, Cate Blanchett, Heidi Klum, etc. There’s certainly a
price for fame and it’s not easy, believe me. I feel what I’m doing
with my book and mommy show gives me a sense of who I am
and what I really want to do, which is hosting a meaningful
show that helps others. It’s on my terms and I’ve never felt better
about work than I do now.
Do you plan to return to acting or do you have
other career aspirations?
I had a blast acting. It’s a funny story. I moved to Los Angeles to go to school and had no ambition to become an actor.
I waitressed, did a little modeling to pay the bills, but an actor?
No way! I was sent on an audition for The Price Is Right, the
“old school” original cast, I might add. I remember Bob Barker
coming up to me one day after rehearsals saying, “Gena Lee,
you remind me of Carol Baker. She was the most beautiful
actress of her time.” After that comment, I could have gone
home right then and there. I happily continued filming TPIR
for two years when Baywatch called. I didn’t have an agent or
manager and made it very clear that I’d never acted before. A
couple of days later, I was face-to-face with David Hasselhoff.
I got the part of Neely Capshaw! It all just rolled into one
adventure after another. I was blessed to be a working actress.
I think being a day-to-day mom has helped me focus on what
I really want to do this go-round, which is host. Bringing my
quirky personality to a feel-good show that makes a difference
in people’s lives? Can you say ‘home run?!’
Many moms have a hard time going back to work after being
away for a period of time to stay home with the kids. It can be
daunting to try to go back out there and “start over.” Do you
find it challenging to go back to work?
I know what to expect now. I also know what I want to do.
I think it’s being very clear as to knowing who you are and
where you are going. Are you going back because you need to
or because you want out of the house? Different situations for
everyone and, believe me, none of them are easy. I know what
I want this time, and I think that comes with age and experience. Writing my book, working on my show, and hosting
makes my tummy get butterflies—good ones! I am with my
kids full-time and will allow a schedule that permits that.
How are you dealing with the challenges?
I think that going back to work will definitely be a challenge
for everyone in the family, but I have set boundaries and my
family comes first. Creating boundaries for myself was a hard
lesson to learn and it’s so important that we have them for our
work place, relationships, etc. I have 3 kids who look up to me
and expect me to be the best I can be. Sure, we’ll make mistakes
M • for the woman in every mom 69
Gena Lee Nolin
From page 68
along the way, but it’s how we handle them that
truly define us.
What is a normal day like in your home?
I wake up between 6 and 7 AM, get everyone
up and fed, Spencer showered and ready to go, and
then its off to the middle school, then preschool.
I usually take Stella to a mommy and me class.
Sometimes my husband will take Hudson & Stella.
It all depends on the day and what’s going on.
Becoming a stepmom, was it a difficult transition
to have an instant family?
We are all so lucky to have Caia in our lives.
She’s such a beautiful little girl inside and out. I
never, for one moment, felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed by being her stepmom. She’s an amazing
sister [to her siblings] and I feel so blessed to call
her my daughter.
What advice do you have for other step-parents?
My advice to other step-parents is to let the
parents do the schedules and ground-work. We
are there to love and support, sometimes it can get
ugly, but I strongly believe kids will always come
around at some point and love always conquers all.
On raising a teen…what are some of the challenges? Rewards?
Spencer’s been great. He’s mature and very
understanding of the chaos in our house right now.
He’s close to his dad as well, which is wonderful
and helpful to me in the parenting department. I’m
so proud of him and his zest for life; he’s into music
and gets A’s and B’s at school. We’re always talking
about everything under the sun—which I demand— talk, talk, talk! He’s asked a lot of questions on some unfortunate topics I’ve had to deal
with regarding his father and I... I dreaded the day
it would come and when it did, he just said, “Mom,
I love you... You don’t have to explain, you were
married!” Is that a great kid or what?
Many women don’t understand what post-partum is while they are going through it or that they
are even going through it. What are some of the
symptoms you experienced?
When I had it with Spencer, I didn’t know I had
it. I was a happy-go-lucky girl who had a beautiful
baby. Why on earth would I be crying, sad, bedridden? When you have PPD, you’ll know it by the
helplessness that you feel. Some woman have anger
towards their babies, some cry and are clinically sick
with sadness. Any of these signs, reach out to your
Ob-Gyn and seek help immediately.
When did you realize you were suffering
from PPD?
I knew I was suffering after the 5 months of
crying and becoming an emotional wreck. I went to
talk to a therapist and he diagnosed me right away.
He saved my life. I call him Dr. Feel Good-LA!
What should new moms be aware of if they
believe they are suffering from PPD?
Warning signs: be aware of feeling helpless,
inconsolable crying, extreme tiredness, anger, hurt, goes on and on! These are some good
indicators that something needs to be dealt with.
What are some important life lessons that
becoming a mother has taught you?
Being a mom means learning lesson after lesson.
No one is perfect. We’ll make mistakes along the
way and so will our children. Growing means learning and learning is living! Just continue to love and
be open to a screaming fit in the middle of Target
with a boiling cup of Starbuck’s in your hand!
Has motherhood changed you?
Motherhood has changed me in so many ways.
You go from living a carefree life to worrying about
the simplest of things. When I board a flight, the
first thing I think about are my children. When I see
something amazing and inspiring, I wish they were
there to share it with me. Everything changes; your
outlook on life has a whole new meaning. I believe it’s
one of the most beautiful things a woman can do.
Tell us about your book.
My book is a tell-all—I’m letting everything
out! What I went through from before having
Spencer to current issues. How I dealt with PPD
(post-partum depression), my divorce, my mistakes,
basically my life and all my pregnancies. Some
stories will make you laugh and some cry, but all in
all, if you’re a woman, you’ll feel it!
In your book, you talk about post-partum
depression. What has been your experience with
I had PPD with all 3 of my children. It was a
long, hard journey. My advice to any woman going
through PPD is to get the proper help immediately.
70 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 71
This is what fun looks like!
Year-round preschool enrollment
starting at 2 years 9 months
Pay-as-you-go tuition
Half-day and all-day programs
Join Us for an Open House!
Thursday, January 21
Saturday, February 6
Tuesday, February 9
Thursday, February 18
9 a.m.–2 p.m.
9 a.m.–Noon
9 a.m.–2 p.m.
9 a.m.–7 p.m.
© 2009, Barbara B. Baker
Look closely. While she’s drawing animals, counting with puppets, singing jingles, and
frolicking on the playground, she’s learning.
By building on what they already know, Challenger guides children to a lifetime of confidence
and achievement.
Almaden (408) 927-5771
19950 McKean Road, San Jose
Saratoga (408) 378-0444
18811 Cox Avenue, Saratoga
Shawnee (408) 365-9298
500 Shawnee Lane, San Jose
Sunnyvale (408) 245-7170
1185 Hollenbeck Avenue, Sunnyvale
Harwood (408) 723-0111
4949 Harwood Road, San Jose
Middlefield (650) 213-8245
3880 Middlefield Road, Palo Alto
Strawberry Park (408) 213-0083
730 Camina Escuela, San Jose
Newark (510) 770-1771
39600 Cedar Boulevard, Newark
Berryessa (408) 998-2860
711 East Gish Road, San Jose
Ardenwood (510) 739-0300
35487 Dumbarton Court, Newark
Licenses: 434400459, 434408058, 434408059, 434404888, 434400467, 430700130, 430710539, 434403575, 010212301, 013412399
Preschool • Elementary • Middle School
Open Enrollment Begins February 1
M • for the woman in every mom 73
academics & development
M magazine education guide
Hillbrook School
Amidst hundreds of trees, a creek, and rolling hills is a stateof-the art school that provides children with a twenty-first century
education. Hillbrook’s small class sizes, expansive program, and
outstanding faculty ensure the school graduates articulate, empathetic, inquisitive, and creative students ready to take on any and all
challenges that come their way.
With a commitment to the highest academic standards, Hillbrook defines success one child at a time, nurturing each student
to reach their full potential. Learning at Hillbrook extends beyond the four walls of a classroom to include the natural setting
of the campus and the world beyond. Hillbrook students not
only love to learn, but they are also committed to improving the
world around them.
The Value of an Independent School Education
Hillbrook is a Junior Kindergarten through 8th grade independent coeducational day school accredited by the California
Association of Independent Schools (CAIS) and a member of the
National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS). NAIS is
a national network of approximately 1,500 independent schools
whose graduates are the most sought after students in the country.
Hillbrook’s affiliation with this organization demands the highest
academic standards and allows the school to attract faculty nationally who have studied and taught at some of the most prestigious
institutions in the country.
74 M • for the woman in every mom
Middle School
Grades 5 through 8 are a time of serious academic preparation as
well as self discovery. Students are challenged by increased academic
responsibility. Faculty and administrators work with parents to support students through this dynamic time. Leadership opportunities
in student government, yearbook, sports teams, service learning, and
mentorship in our Buddies Program keep middle-school students
engaged and prepare them to be active and valuable members of
their high school communities. A healthy approach to competition
through afterschool team sports allow students to experience victories and defeat while depending on teammates.
Strong Academics
Even the youngest students at Hillbrook are immersed in an expansive curriculum which includes core subjects such as Language
Arts, Mathematics and Social Studies as well as Science, Art, Music
and P.E. In first grade, students begin a study of world languages
with Spanish. By fourth grade, they are also introduced to Mandarin. By design, the curriculum challenges students of varying interests and abilities reflecting the school’s commitment to the growth
of each child in the school. With an emphasis on experiential learning, Hillbrook students have access to multiple science laboratories,
a state-of-the-art library, art studios, a woodshop, a technology
classroom, outdoor gardens, multiple play spaces, a creek, and even
a chicken coop.
A Caring Community
At Hillbrook every student is known and valued. Each morning, when
students arrive, they are greeted by teachers and administrators who know them
each by name. The connection between school and families is reinforced each
day through these casual interactions as well as frequent formal feedback about
each child. The Hillbrook week starts with a gathering of our entire community
in a short assembly called Flag. 8th grader Boo Yuen cried nearly every day his
first month at school in kindergarten, clinging to his mom and terrified of getting on stage. Today, Boo towers over his mother and he is one of the school’s
co-presidents leading the entire community each Monday at Flag. Hillbrook
alumnus, Wes Heeter is, now a senior at Los Gatos High and a champion
water polo player. He is being recruited by colleges all over the country and is
looking for the opportunity to excel both in the classroom and the pool, as he
did at Hillbrook.
Hillbrook is an inclusive environment with families from over 25 zip codes.
Last year, over 20% of families received financial aid, showing the continued
commitment to socio-economic diversity. Hillbrook welcomes this range of
experiences in families and faculty as it creates a richer environment for all students. Hillbrook is a joyful community where a sense of humor and boundless
curiosity comfortably thrive amidst a challenging, academic program.
What the parent of a recent graduate has to say:
“I am…happy to report that beyond academics, [he] is fully engaged…in
his new environment. I attribute much of [his] early successes and positive
attitude concerning learning to his experience at Hillbrook and the kind of
mentoring he obtained while there. Thank you!”
Hillbrook School
JK - 8th
300 Marchmont Drive
Los Gatos, CA 95032-5659
(408) 356-6116
Hillbrook at a Glance
Established in 1935
315 students
Junior Kindergarten through 8th grade
90% of students are accepted at 1st choice high schools
Average class size: 15
Over 20% percent of students received financial aid last year
M • for the woman in every mom 75
academics & development
M magazine education guide
“We believe that our child is getting a wellrounded religious and academic education
in a healthy and nurturing environment. We’re
happy being part of the St. Cyprian School
and Church community.”
Lenida Vorwerk, Parent
“To my way of thinking, one of the primary strengths of St. Cyprian School
is its teachers. Our children have attended St. Cyprian School since 1995.
Our two oldest are currently attending college. Both were well prepared for
college prep high schools and have been academically successful. St. Cyprian
School is a large part of their performing successfully in college. Our youngest
is in third grade and is following in his siblings’ footsteps. One thing all of
their teachers have had in common is that each one worked with us to help
our children to be as successful as he or she could be. We have found that St.
Cyprian School truly works in partnership with parents. St. Cyprian School
welcomes parental involvement and has been able to make this work to the
benefit of all their students”.
Mary Hamilton, Parent
St. Cyprian Catholic School
Studies have shown that spirituality can be an important tool
in helping many people overcome life’s many challenges. Giving
our children a strong spiritual background can help them resist peer
pressure, avoid negative influences, and deal with difficult situations.
That’s why it is important to nurture spirituality in children.
St. Cyprian Catholic School provides a spiritually based education in a multicultural environment founded in an atmosphere of
respect that is family oriented and supports the needs of today’s
family. It strives to meet the needs of local and commuter families
and is committed to the individual growth of each student - spiritually, academically, physically, socially, and morally.
St. Cyprian teachers include excellence with the school’s curriculum and their personal attention to each student. Its teachers are
passionate about the subjects they teach and care for their students.
The educational program of the school follows the California State Framework and the San Jose Diocese Department of
Education Guidelines. Students in the upper elementary grades
experience departmentalized teaching with emphasis on high
school preparation.
St. Cyprian School maintains a strong academic standard
and is accredited through the Western Catholic Educational
Association (WCEA) and the Western Association of
Schools and Colleges (WASC).
The curriculum consists of core competency courses, but also
has enrichment courses that teach the students the social, analyti-
76 M • for the woman in every mom
cal, and technology skills that are essential in a technological and
diverse world. The enrichment courses not only add educational
value, but also teach the students discipline skills and add fun to
their daily student life.
Parental support through volunteering is an integral part of
the life of St. Cyprian School. Children learn from us, and by
volunteering, we are educating them in our faith of giving and
following in Jesus’ footsteps. Whether the volunteering activities
are inside the classrooms or outside, the children are directly benefiting from parental dedication.
St. Cyprian is proud of the new upgrades to its school facility,
especially the Computer Lab, library, science lab, and the addition of the preschool and its new playground. The newly expanded
St. Cyprian Preschool is in its 2nd year of operation. St. Cyprian
takes pride in themselves knowing the campus is an intimate and
family oriented environment, yet up to date on the most current
technology and teaching methodologies.
St. Cyprian currently has an enrollment of 180 students in Grades
Preschool–8 and a staff, which includes the principal, vice-principal,
lay teachers, instructional aides, a counselor, and teachers for Spanish,
art, band, computer, music, and P.E., as well as Extended Care staff
members. Extracurricular activities include a number of afterschool
enrichment classes ranging from dance to martial arts. Choir and
sports are offered for grades 4-8. Sports for Kindergarten through
3rd grade are offered through Junior Spartans.
“Our family has found strong faith, a welcoming community, and an excellent school in St. Cyprian. We are active parent volunteers and parishioners
and, as a result, have made many new friends—it’s almost like having
another family. Our children are thriving in the school’s environment, and
they have asked us repeatedly if they can stay at St. Cyprian and eventually
graduate there, something we would be happy to see happen. We are very
happy to have made the decision to send our boys to St. Cyprian School.”
Fran Say, Parent
“St. Cyprian School feels more to us like our extended family and not just a
learning institution. The school, church, and parents work together to educate
our students and help them to be successful. St. Cyprian is a smaller school
with smaller classroom sizes, so we feel that our child gets more individual
attention than he might otherwise receive attending a larger school. It’s also
a good feeling knowing the teachers and most of the students by name, and
they knowing us in return”. Lenida Vorwerk, Parent
St. Cyprian Preschool, Elementary and Middle School
are located off Mary St. between Central Expressway and
El Camino Real in Sunnyvale.
195 Leota Ave. Sunnyvale, CA 94086
M • for the woman in every mom 77
academics & development
M magazine education guide
Challenger School
“We can’t say thank you
enough—not only for being a
child’s wonderland, but also for
being a parent’s dream come
true . . . Our family looks forward
to many years of growing,
learning, and developing with
you.” —Sheetal and Rajneesh,
Challenger parents
Helping children find joy and self-worth through achievement
Something is in the air at Challenger School. Down the hallway,
bulletin boards showcase incredible student writing and artwork. In
the multi-purpose room, spirited preschoolers sing the “206 Bones”
song. On the state-of-the-art playground, energetic kindergartners
skip and gallop like horses. An animated fourth-grader excitedly
describes the nobility of Aslan’s actions in The Lion, the Witch, and
the Wardrobe, and engaged students in an eighth grade classroom
good-naturedly race to solve equations using trigonometric functions. It’s obvious at every turn that Challenger students love learning and achieving.
The Challenger Difference
The Challenger difference is evident from the moment you set
foot on a campus. By virtue of its long-standing history in the private
school arena, Challenger has honed its original, proven methods for
nearly five decades. Students bubble with enthusiasm as they make
connections between their prior knowledge and new concepts. Challenger helps children become individuals led by neither peer pressure
nor common sentiment but by the strength of their own thinking.
Challenger accepts students as young as 2 years, 9 months in order to
take advantage of the best window of opportunity for setting the patterns
of learning. When very young children receive this kind of intellectual
stimulation, they establish a foundation for a lifetime of achievement.
78 M • for the woman in every mom
“When [our son] came home on Monday with the little book, we didn’t
expect him to read yet, as English is not his first language, and this is only
the fourth week of school. [Then he] opened up the book and began to read
each word out loud by applying the phonics principles that you’ve been
teaching in class. . . I made the best decision of my life to send [him] to
Challenger. He is already much more advanced than others at his age and
I am sure this is only the beginning.” —May, a proud Challenger parent
Breathtaking Results
Challenger’s curriculum and proven teaching methods provide the skills each student needs to excel. As students learn
foundational concepts and apply reasoning skills, the results are
spectacular. Challenger students achieve scores on average in the
90th percentile on national tests. Challenger graduates continue
their education in accelerated high school programs and at distinguished colleges and universities.
Since 1963, Challenger School has grown from one small preschool in San Jose to 20 schools in four western states, educating
more than 10,000 preschool through eighth grade students annually.
New students are accepted year-round, and Challenger offers a variety of preschool options to fit various schedules. Come see for yourself why Challenger is the clear choice for discriminating parents.
Challenger School
San Jose (408) 927-5771
19950 McKean Road (PS-8)
San Jose (408) 365-9298
500 Shawnee Lane (PS-8)
Saratoga (408) 378-0444
18811 Cox Avenue (PS)
Sunnyvale (408) 245-7170
1185 Hollenbeck Avenue (PS-8)
San Jose (408) 723-0111
4949 Harwood Road (PS-8)
Palo Alto (650) 213-8245
3880 Middlefield Road (PS-8)
San Jose (408) 213-0083
730 Camina Escuela (PS-8)
Newark (510) 770-1771
39600 Cedar Boulevard (PS-K)
San Jose (408) 998-2860
711 East Gish Road (PS-8)
Newark (510) 739-0300
35487 Dumbarton Court (PS-8)
Open House:
January 21, 9 am-2 pm
February 6, 9 am-Noon
February 9, 9 am-2 pm
February 18, 9 am-7 pm
M • for the woman in every mom 79
Great Expectations
The gift of childhood—letting kids be kids
By Damon Korb, MD
Everyone knows that parents
want their children to be happy,
but sometimes we lose sight of
what it means to be a happy kid
and we end up placing our own
values of happiness upon our
children. Parents tend to measure happiness in tangible terms
like good grades, starring roles,
and athletic victories. Parents
often want happiness for their
children so desperately that they
neglect to realize that wins and
test scores do not equate to happiness, particularly when the
process of obtaining those achievements stops being fun.
As parents, we have learned many lessons the hard way. So,
there is a tendency to push our children to avoid the mistakes
we’ve made as kids (i.e. “If only I studied more when I was
younger, I could have made it to medical school” ). But remember, your child is not you. Children need to go through
their own growth and development and, yes, occasionally learn
things “the hard way.” They need to discover their own passions and learn how to achieve their own success. These things
happen with patience, experience, and developmental readiness.
Some believe that children are too young to know what is
best for them and so parents must push them — even do homework for them or run their student government campaigns —
so that they can excel during the elementary and middle school
years. This kind of perspective is actually doing the child a disservice. The following information highlights five rules for parents to help them guide their children to happily and healthily
pursue their individual interests.
Make expectations realistic.
Children are not small adults, they are works in progress.
Everything about children is under development. Most preschool aged children, for instance, haven’t developed the visual
tracking skills to catch or hit a baseball. Young children have
short attention spans and require short periods of music instruction. Very few eight year-old have developed the planning
skills needed to “anticipate the play” in sports. Skills in each
of these domains are acquired in a progressive sequence. Not
every child will acquire every skill equally or at the same rate.
There are no studies to suggest that pushing children to obtain
skills early forecasts greater success later in life.
Parents should objectively note the skill level of their child
and concentrate on what can be done to improve skills at that
level instead of prematurely focusing on the next. For instance,
in theatre, perhaps a child could focus on projecting her voice,
or in soccer, kicking with either foot. Focusing on age appropriate skill acquisition is a key component to eliminating pressure. Realistic expectations can be used by parents to support ob-
80 M • for the woman in every mom
tainable goals, like effort and skill
improvement (e.g. “I like how
you dribbled the basketball using both hands,” “You did a nice
job looking at the audience while
giving your speech”) instead of
wins and losses, which tend to be
more outside of a child’s control.
Encourage but be honest.
There is only one Tiger
Woods, Miley Cirus, and Dakota Fanning… and he or she is
not your child. Precociousness is something these people were
born with. They are, in a sense, talented freaks of nature: mutants. More likely than not, your budding singer, dancer, actor
or athlete is not going to be a world-class performer. But, you
are responsible for helping him become a world-class person.
Parents can make their child feel self-assured and confident by
being proud of accomplishments and efforts. Encouragement
is motivating. Pump your child up any way you can: school
work, chores, art projects, music performance or playing sports
all warrant praise. The better your child feels about himself, the
more apt he will be to take risks, try new activities, and learn
from his mistakes.
Most importantly, be honest. Kids can recognize false praise.
When your child forgets her lines in the school play, don’t say, “You
were great, you were the best.” This will undermine the value of
your future praise. Instead, point out the things she did well. Consider using a compliment sandwich: a critique surrounded by two
compliments. For example, “You really looked special in your costume. Maybe we can work on your lines tonight to get ready for
tomorrow. If you can deliver the ones you forgot as well as the ones
you remembered, you are really going to be great.” While parental
pressure is a problem, children do appreciate parent support. Don’t
push, but be present. Cheer, but not too much.
© creativepictures
academics & development
childhood development
Have patience and do not fear struggle or failure.
Any good refining process takes time. As obvious as things
may seem to you, they may not be to your child’s developing brain.
Screaming at them from the sidelines does not help their learning
process. Learning comes in spurts and when a child struggles, it is
usually not the fault of the teacher. Even the best coach cannot help
a player who is not mentally mature enough to visualize the game or
to attend to the lesson. So, don’t get mad at the piano instructor and
keep an open mind about your child. There is an opportunity for
students to learn more from the feedback given after a “C+” performance than what they learn when their parents do their elementary
school science fair projects for them. The analogy of picking a fruit
before it is ripe describes the consequences of forcing kids to advance
too quickly. The end result is sour, and rarely sweet.
Continued on page 82
M • for the woman in every mom 81
OPEN HOUSES at all locations:
SAT., Jan. 23 • 10am to 3pm
Since 1968, we’ve been helping children aged birth to 8th grade learn, discover and
grow through free and structured play, with the personalized attention you know
they need. All of our ten programs are fully accredited, and rank academically in the
90%+ percentile for the state of California.
Come and see for yourself how you child could thrive at ACTION DAY l PRIMARY
PLUS today!
San Jose (Birth-12 yrs.)
5845 Allen Ave.
Mountain View (Birth-K)
333 Eunice Ave.
San Jose (Birth-Jr.K)
3030 Moorpark Ave.
*San Jose Primary Plus
Preschool (2-5 yrs.)
Elementary School
(Jr. K-4th Grade)
3500 Amber Dr.
San Jose (Birth-12 yrs.)
801 Hibiscus Lane
Santa Clara (18 mos-5 yrs.)
2001 Pruneridge Ave.
*San Jose West Valley
Middle School (Grades 5-8)
801 Hibiscus Lane
Saratoga (2-5 yrs.)
13560 Saratoga-Sunnyvale Rd.
Saratoga (Birth-K)
18720 Bucknall Rd.
Campbell (Birth-K)
1125 West Campbell Ave.
Willow Glen
(Birth-5 yrs.)
2148 Lincoln Ave.
82 M • for the woman in every mom
Great Expectations
From page 80
Let your child follow their passions
and “back off.”
Children will do their best when they are doing
what they love to do. Encourage her to experiment with karate, take cooking classes, or whatever she enjoys. Communicate with your child
about his or her desires. If she says she wants to
be the best at something, help her to map out a
plan. Have her take responsibility for her success
by managing aspects of her activity, such as maintaining her own instruments or sports equipment,
setting the alarm clock to wake for early practices,
and establishing personal goals. Children will suffer “burn-out” if the goals are too high or the pace
is too fast. Allow activity changes, take breaks between seasons and avoid the push for your child
to become a one-sport athlete before high school.
Remember, parents need to monitor their child’s
overall schedule and pursue diverse after-school
activities without over-booking each week. Children and pre-teens need unstructured play time
and free moments to engage in creative activities
that aid in brain development.
Avoid excess pressure.
Parental pressure is defined as the discrepancy between parents’ and child’s expectations.
For example, a parent may expect their child to
play sports in college, even though in reality that
is a very rare accomplishment. The child, on the
other hand may just want to have fun and play
with friends. This sets up a conflict with the parent expecting practices to be serious and wins to
be more meaningful than they really are. When
parental love and approval are perceived as dependent on adequacy of performance, activities
are bound to be stressful for children. These unnecessary levels of stress and anxiety initiated by
parents have proven to be a major reason why
75% of youths drop out of sports by age 13. Avoid
excessive pressure: parents pushing too hard may
actually delay some of the natural acquisition of
skills and maturation of self-confidence. Treating
your child to extra lessons or private coaching will
defeat the purpose of giving your child an advantage if it becomes too much for him. Remember,
childhood is a time for experimenting with new
activities, learning different things, developing social skills and having fun.
Certainly, your children are a reflection of your
parenting skills. The ability to cope, interact with
others and maintain a healthy self-esteem are all
traits that develop best from a successful parentchild relationship. Don’t make the mistake of
thinking that you are getting a “do-over” in life
through your child. Share in your child’s developmental process, but do not interfere. When you
catch yourself putting lipstick on your five-year old
before her play auditions, designing the graphics
for a 5th-grade book report, or writing a juniorhigh campaign speech, it’s time to back off. Remember, your child is not you.
M • for the woman in every mom 83
M School Open House Directory
H illbrooK
Saint Andrew’s Episcopal School
13601 Saratoga Avenue
Saratoga, CA 95070
Hillbrook School
JK - 8th
300 Marchmont Drive
Los Gatos, CA 95032-5659
(408) 356-6116
Open House:
PreK-4th Grade families: January 21, 2010 9-10:30 am
All Grade famlies: January 30, 2010 2-4 pm
Open House: February 6, 10 am to 12 pm
Lower Campus (Pre-K - 3rd)
1980 Hamilton Ave
San Jose, CA 95125
Phone: (408) 626-8008
Stratford School
Preschool • Elementary • Middle School
The Best Preparation for a Lifetime of Learning
Open House: Saturday, January 23rd from 11 am to 2 pm
Open House: January 30, 10 am to 1 pm
Fremont • Morgan Hill • Palo Alto • San Francisco
San Jose • Santa Clara • Sunnyvale • Los Gatos
Open House: February 6, 10 am to 1pm
Santa Clara • Sunnyvale
Private Infant Care, Preschool, Elementary,
Middle school Eleven locations including San
Jose, Campbell, Saratoga, Mountain View,
Willow Glen, and Santa Clara.
Upper Campus (4th - 8th)
1570 Alta Glen Dr.
San Jose, CA 95125
Phone: (408) 448-2700
St. Cyprian School
Grades K - 8th
195 Leota Avenue Sunnyvale,
CA 94086-7031 - (408) 738-3444
Open House: Sunday, January 31 12:30 to 2 pm
Open House at all locations: SAT., Jan. 23 , 10am to 3pm
Open House: January 21, 9 am-2 pm
February 6, 9 am-Noon
February 9, 9 am-2 pm
February 18, 9 am-7 pm
84 M • for the woman in every mom
Shir Hadash Early Childhood Center
Ages 2 years to Kindergarten entry
20 Cherry Blossom Lane
Los Gatos, CA 95032
408-358-1751 ext. 115
Open House: Sun., January 31, 2010 11 am to 2 pm
Wed., February 10, 2010 10 am to 12 pm
Challenger School
San Jose, Saratoga , Sunnyvale , Newark , and Palo
Alto-10 convenient locations
(408) 377-2300 or 1-888-748-1135
M • for the woman in every mom 85
Children at Risk
high school
The importance of estate planning
By Robert P. Bergman,
Attorney at Law
If you have a young child, you need
to ask yourself this question: “If
I went out to dinner tonight and
didn’t come home, what would happen to my child?” If you can’t answer
that question with any certainty,
consider the following:
Robert P. Bergman is an estate planning attorney in San Jose
whose practice focuses on families with young children,
including special needs children.
sports & activity
middle school
Here are the facts. When your child loses both parents, it takes
time for the Court system to get involved in appointing a guardian
to care for her. In the short term, the authorities (i.e. police and
Child Protective Services) may leave your child in the temporary
custody of an adult relative. However, they will only do this if they
believe that she will not be in any danger.
If you do not have any relatives who live locally, your child is
at risk of being placed in the foster care system until a responsible
adult can apply for and obtain some form of guardianship over
him. A temporary guardianship can be obtained relatively quickly,
but a hearing on a permanent guardianship takes longer. If the
guardians you would want live in other states or even other countries, it can easily be 24 to 72 hours before they can arrive and start
the guardianship process.
With proper planning, you may nominate those persons you would
want to raise your child, and you can even provide for the exclusion of
those you would not want. You can also appoint temporary “caretakers” like close friends or neighbors who can care for your child until
freshman experience
advanced sports
• Will he end up in foster care
until somebody can be appointed by a Court to care for him?
• Will she be raised by relatives or friends that you would
want, or by relatives that you
would not want to raise her?
• Who will handle his inheritance and decide how to feed, clothe, shelter, educate and
otherwise provide for him?
• Will she receive her inheritance outright at age 18 years
(i.e. legal adulthood), or should she get it when she is older?
• Can his inheritance be protected from being lost because
of his later death or divorce, future bankruptcy, or from
lawsuits and creditors’ claim?
• Can you protect her inheritance from her own emotional
or financial immaturity, or possible (or existing) drug, alcohol, gambling or other abuse problems?
• If you have a special needs child, can you protect his
inheritance from destroying his eligibility for government
benefits, or from reimbursement claims for benefits already received?
their guardians can arrive. The
Court will ultimately decide who
will raise your child, and unless
you have made provisions ahead
of time, who will handle her inheritance as well.
Your child’s inheritance can
be lost in many ways. For example, if your child receives an
inheritance before he has sufficient maturity to handle the
inheritance, poor financial decisions may lead to the inheritance
being lost due to bad investment
decisions, a lack of judgment in
spending, or “friends” of the child
borrowing or otherwise spending
the inheritance. The result can easily be that an inheritance received
when your child turns 18 years of age is gone by 19 years of age.
Your child with an abuse problem such as drugs, alcohol or
gambling can easily burn through thousands of dollars of an inheritance supporting the addiction. In extreme cases, the receipt
of an inheritance can lead him into greater addiction problems,
new addiction problems, or even death due to the financial ability
to buy enough drugs or alcohol to overdose.
Your child who receives an inheritance and is married can find
that half or more of the inheritance may end up going to a divorcing spouse in the future. If the inheritance is used to pay for
debts and obligations of the marriage such as mortgage payments,
property taxes, family vacations, etc., the divorce Court may declare
the inheritance as part of the marriage and divide it up with the divorcing spouse. Even without a divorce, if your child does no estate
planning for her inheritance, some or all of it could end up with
her husband instead of going to her children or back to your family.
If his inheritance is distributed to him the wrong way, your special
needs child could lose eligibility for his health insurance, his housing,
and any program he is in to help people with his kind of disability.
Finally, your child who has financial problems, creditors after her,
owes the IRS or other tax authorities, or is facing bankruptcy could
easily lose an inheritance coming to her.
Proper estate planning is essential to assure as much as possible that
your child and their inheritance will be properly cared for.
Every day that passes without proper planning leaves your child at risk.
© IsaacLKoval
Summer at Saint Francis
family matters
bea part of it now
86 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 87
The path to success starts at
Life is a Package Deal
By January Handl
Dear January,
My third grade daughter has always fretted over every decision. She seems to agonize, and then when she finally chooses,
she immediately expresses regrets and starts to waffle. I have also struggled with this my entire life. I know that every time I
choose something, I am losing something else. How can I help her so she doesn’t spend so much time and energy making her
mind up about things?
Wishy-washy or washy-wishy?
Dear WWOften the worst “flaws” we perceive in our children are the
ones around which we ourselves have experienced great pain. In
our parent-heart we want to save our child from the things with
which we have struggled. We would love to just hand them all
the things we have learned through our hard-fought experience
and say “here, you don’t need to go through all this- here is the
answer.” Unfortunately, human beings are experiential learners,
and it just won’t work that way. That doesn’t mean you don’t offer
your ideas with words like “well, I remember feeling that way,
and what has worked for me is….” Or commiserating and saying,
“And another idea might be…”
But each individual must be developmentally ready, and make
their own coping skill set- and some day the child may come back to
you, and tell you they have discovered the same strategy you tried to
offer in the past- but now they are ready, and now they can “own” it.
The thing about making decisions as modern day Americans in
a consumerist society is we are faced with literally hundreds of
choices each day. Part of our learning must include the concept
that EVERYTHING: people, things, events, relationships- EVERYTHING is a package deal. The rose comes with thorns. The
long term relationship entails compromise. The best job in the
world comes with difficult or tedious aspects. Nothing is freefreedom comes with a cost as well.
We human beings are package deals as well. Whenever parents
tell me a trait they wish to have vanquished from their child,
I try to point out that every characteristic has a functional and
dysfunctional part of the scale. All characteristics hold strengths
and struggles as part and parcel of the whole. The shy child? Also
the keenest observer in the classroom. Your lovely daughter with
leadership abilities? Sometimes the kids think she is bossy. We
don’t get to separate out the strands and say “I want a sensitive
child who is also tough.” Or “I want my child to assert their needs
88 M • for the woman in every mom
with their peers, but not with me.” Or “I want my spouse to be
organized and efficient at work, but to be easy going with the
household mess.” I have many creative, artistic friends…who are
never on time. I can spend a lot of time aggravated about the
“shortcomings” I perceive, or accept that they, like me, are a package deal of flaws and fabulousness. We all need to continue the
self reflection to stay aware when our strengths have gone over
that mark, and are now getting in the way of relationship or goals.
Helping your child understand this takes talking out loud
about your own struggles with seeing the bright side of a situation. Pointing out that all change involves loss and gain will support your child building a foundation of compassion for themselves and others about the inevitable package deals with which
they must engage during their entire lives.
Also, making a habit of listing out pros and cons is a great way
to weigh intellectually any choice that must be made. In addition,
honoring the inner intuition that may add itself to the pro and con
list with little logic, but with much satisfaction, is important as well.
Sometimes our hearts DO know best. What we are looking for is
the best package deal for our unique needs at any given time.
And then, after a choice has been made, teach your child (and yourself) to make that the very best decision you could have made. Torturing oneself with “what ifs” and “ I should haves” does little except
keep the yearning for “greener grass” hindering one from gratitude
and enjoyment of what is right on the lawn in front of you.
January’s highest qualification as a parent educator is her
own experience as a stay-at-home, mother of two who have
made their way to adulthood. January has been an educator
to children and parents for over 30 years and is a member
of PEN(progressive educators network), N.A.EY.C. (National
Association for the Education of Young Children), ASCD (Association for supervision and Curriculum Development), and
the Positive Discipline Association.
© jlmatt
family life
Carden Day School
of San Jose
Our students have been accepted to:
UC Irvine
UC Berkeley
UC Davis
UC San Diego
Cal Poly
and High Schools like:
Notre Dame
St. Francis
Pinewood and
Valley Christian
And More!
Open House
Saturday, January 23rd from 11 am to 2 pm
Please call and schedule a campus tour today !
Lower Campus (Pre-K - 3rd)
1980 Hamilton Ave
San Jose, CA 95125
Phone: (408) 626-8008
Fax: (408) 626-8044
Upper Campus (4th - 8th)
1570 Alta Glen Dr.
San Jose, CA 95125
Phone: (408) 448-2700
Fax: (408) 448-4789
M • for the woman in every mom 89
Looking for a place to have a romantic dinner with your one and only this Valentine’s Day? Choices abound in the Bay Area but here are some sweet spots we’ve
sampled where you and your honey can enjoy a bite to eat while enjoying a romantic ambience. Fine food, an intimate setting, and the one you love—even Cupid
couldn’t ask for more.
Tapestry, a California Bistro
11 College Avenue
Los Gatos, CA 95030
The night my husband and I went to Tapestry, we
weren’t actually alone. We came to Tapestry with
our two boys and my mother-in-law for a belated
birthday celebration. Housed in a quaint bungalow,
Tapestry is on a quiet side street next to a cigar
shop on College Avenue in Los Gatos. And although we had no plans for romance on this particular night, as soon as we walked through the door,
I knew that Tapestry would be a place my husband
and I would return to enjoy an evening alone in
the near future. But on this night, all of us—kids
included—had a very pleasant evening. The food
was delicious from the breadsticks and the warm
bread basket (on which the boys happily munched
while we waited for our dinner orders) to the sticky
toffee pudding and sour cream apple pie at the end
of the meal. We all loved the shared appetizers,
especially the roasted beets with goat cheese ravioli, and I couldn’t resist ordering the lasagna “voted
‘the best’ by the writer of the menu.” The lasagna
was indeed tasty, but after sharing bites around the
table, I ended up falling in love with my husband’s
skirt steak with butternut squash and arugula.
While Tapestry is perfect for a romantic dinner for
two, a menu available with yummy options for the
little ones is also available and the service is warm
and accommodating to diners with children. If you
do manage to sneak away without the kids, ask
to sit at one of the cozy candle-lit tables for two
tucked away in a corner near the window and prepare to enjoy a delectable dinner for two.
90 M • for the woman in every mom
Photo: James Fong
© bethwickerson
time for two
The Melting Pot
2 North B Street
San Mateo, CA 94401
The Plumed Horse
14555 Big Basin Way
Saratoga, CA 95070
What better way to warm up on a chilly evening
than by snuggling up together in a cozy booth? And
where better to go than to The Melting Pot in San
Mateo where there are intimate booths for two in a
softly lit semi-private space upstairs where couples
can share cocktails like The Love Martini and The
Yin & Yang over steaming pots of fondue? There
is truly something romantic about sharing tasty
morsels while intertwining fondue forks. And that’s
basically how a meal at The Melting Pot goes from
start to finish. Start with chunks of bread and veggies dipped in hot, gooey, melted cheese and let
the flirting begin. Oops, is this your fondue fork?
Well, let me feed this to you then, my darling. Yes,
it’s a bit cheesy (no pun intended) but it’s so much
fun sharing and interacting with one another. The
next course involves lobster, shrimp, and steak,
along with a variety of other proteins and veggies
to be dipped and cooked in a steaming hot pot of
savory broth or oil, then plunged into drawn butter
or a myriad of interesting sauces. Shrimp in Teriyaki sauce, steak dipped in Gorgonzola sauce, or
try the chicken in the curry sauce—it will add just
the right amount of spice to an already spicy evening. And is there any dessert more romantic than
strawberries dipped in chocolate? Maybe—if you
add cheesecake, brownies, and other confections
to be swirled in warm chocolate flavored with your
choice of liqueur. Though The Melting Pot is perfect
for an evening of romance, it would also makes for
a lively interactive dining experience, perfect for a
group date or a girls’ night out.
The Plumed Horse is definitely a place for special celebrations. Housed in a contemporary building in quaint
downtown Saratoga, the newly revamped restaurant is
simultaneously simple yet extravagant. Start your romantic evening with a cocktail or a glass of champagne
beside the fireplace in the elegant bar before making
your way to a table for two. The Plumed Horse has an
extensive collection of almost 2,000 wines from all over
the world—make sure to peruse the wine list carefully
and don’t hesitate to request the assistance of the sommelier to ensure that your meal is paired with the perfect
wines. We began this special meal with champagne
and the caviar service before deciding to leave our palates in the able hands of renowned chef Peter Armellino and splurging on the eight-course Grand Tasting.
Though we’d already enjoyed a full caviar service, we
were not disappointed with the encore appearance of
caviar in the first course of Caviar & Ahi Tuna. The quail
egg, paired with the caviar and supremely fresh Ahi was
sublime in taste and texture and we knew from that moment forward that only good things were to come. There
were many delicious dishes that were brought to us that
evening, but my husband and I couldn’t help wishing
for another helping of the second course of Black Pepper and Parmesan Souffle even though we knew we
had six more courses ahead of us. However, we gladly
moved on and each subsequent course and wine pairing did not disappoint. Everything we were served that
night was absolutely divine. There’s no doubt that the
Plumed Horse has a very romantic atmosphere but we
had to admit that we were easily distracted from one
another by the amazing meal.
M • for the woman in every mom 91
things to do
dazzling skating, special effects and beloved characters
certain to create a lifetime of memories. Tickets $16-$70.
Visit for more information.
Saturday, January 30
Monday, January 18
Cow Wow
Winter Whale Watching
Monterey Bay Aquarium, Monterey
10:30 am – 12:30 pm & 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm
Observe the magnificent Gray Whale during the
peak of its southern migration! Other sea life you’ll
be likely to spot include otters, sea lions, dolphins,
and, of course, birds! Cost: $25/person for SCVAS
members, $30/person for non-members.
Saturday, January 23
Star Trek: The Exhibition
The Tech Museum, San Jose
8:30 am – 10:30 am
The extraordinary Exhibition includes the
original costumes, genuine props and authentic
recreations of sets from all five Star Trek television
series and 11 Star Trek feature films, including
the new box office smash hit, which chronicles
the early days of James T. Kirk and his fellow U.S.S
Enterprise crew members. Visit
for ticket information and prices.
92 M • for the woman in every mom
Saturday, February 13
Hidden Villa Farms, Los Altos
9:00 am
For ages 5 and up. Rise early and milk the cow!
Learn fun cow facts, proper milking techniques and
how to make butter. Dress warmly. Space is limited
so register early! Location: Wolken Education
Center. $20 per person. Register online at
Friday, February 5
Toddlers on the Farm Series
Hidden Villa Farms, Los Altos
3:00 pm – 4:00 pm
For ages 1.5 to 3.5 and parents/caregivers. Bury
your hands in sheep wool, throw corn to the
chickens, and more. Be prepared to get dirty!
Rain or shine. Space is limited so register early!
NOTE: No charge for siblings under 18 months
old. This class meets on 2/5, 2/12, and 2/26.
Please note: no class on 2/19. $30 per person.
Villa & Grounds Tour
Montalvo Arts Center, Saratoga
10:00 am
Walking tours are led by volunteer docents. Learn
about Senator Phelan’s country home, his life and
his friends, the arts center, and more. Tours last
approximately two hours. Recommended for ages
12+. Space is limited and advance reservations are
required two business days in advance by calling
the Montalvo Box Office at 408.961.5858. Free
for Montalvo members and their guests; $10 per
person for non-members.
Saturday, February 27
Disney On Ice “World of Fantasy”
HP Pavilion, San Jose
11:00 am
Thrill to high-speed stunts as Lightning McQueen,
Mater and the crew of Disney/Pixar’s CARS race
across the ice. Dive into The Little Mermaid’s
enchanting undersea kingdom and experience the
‘Circle of Life’ with The Lion King. Then enter into the
magical world of Pixie Hollow with Tinker Bell and
all her fairy friends. Favorite Disney moments will
come to life at Disney’s Worlds of Fantasy with
Thursday, March 4
San Jose Ballet Presents
Romeo & Juliet
San Jose Center for the Performing Arts
8:00 pm
This is Ballet on a grand scale with forty-five dancers,
full symphony orchestra and three-acts of glorious
spectacle featuring lavish masked balls, electrifying
sword-fights, and secret rendezvous culminating in one
of the most moving tragedies in stage history. Ballet San
Jose proves that love needs no words. Tickets: $25-82.
Saturday, March 13
Cirque du Soleil - Ovo
Taylor Street Bridge, San Jose
4:00 pm
OVO is a headlong rush into a colorful ecosystem teeming with life, where insects work, eat, crawl, flutter, play,
fight and look for love in a non-stop riot of energy and
movement. The insects’ home is a world of biodiversity
and beauty filled with noisy action and moments of
quiet emotion. An extraordinary spectacle of amazing
acrobats, spectacular sets and dazzling costumes.
Tickets available at
M • for the woman in every mom 93
M marketplace
New facility, small classes
Diverse community of families
Reggio-inspired curriculum
Joyful Reform Jewish environment
Innovative play yard
Children of all faiths welcome
Robin Adelman
Preschool Director
Shir Hadash Early Childhood Center
Congregation Shir Hadash
20 Cherry Blossom Lane
Los Gatos, CA 95023
for information: 408-358-1751 ext. 115
or [email protected]
Advertise with M Magazine
call 408-834-5434 or email
[email protected]
M Magazine is the place where the
very best businesses really stand out.
94 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 95
laughing matters
a day in the life of chickysara
Laundry Wars
HIM: Where’re my socks?
ME: They’re in the hamper.
Are you all “Pumped” Out?
Try something new!
HIM: Why?
ME: Cause they’re dirty.
HIM: Well are you going to do the laundry?
Parties start at just $195 and include:
© mikessss
ME: Oh yes! Definitely!
HIM: When?
ME: Ummm…soon?
HIM: Like when?
ME: How about Wednesday?
• 2 Hours for 10 Jumpers
• Pizza and Drinks
• Really Clean Environment all participants recieve free jump socks
• Mention M Magazine and receive
an additional FREE XL PIZZA
offer expires 3/30
616 South Main St., Milpitas
[email protected]
HIM: That’s two days from now. I need socks today.
ME: Do you want me to run to Target to get you
Drop in Rates
are just $9 per hour
2nd hour is 50% off, expires 3/30
Call for Special Rates for Non-profits and fundraising events
HIM: Never mind! You know what? From now on, I’ll
be in charge of laundry!
ME: Oh goody!
HIM: Really?
ME: Well, aren’t you going to fold them and put them away?
ME: Sure.
HIM: I thought you would want to fold them since you hate
the way I fold.
HIM: But you hate the way I sort clothes.
ME: Eh, I don’t care. As long as they get washed!
HIM: (Dramatically lifting a heaping laundry basket and lugging it downstairs): Hmph!
A few days later:
ME: Where’re all the towels?
HIM: Uhhh…I think they’re in the washer. I forgot to put
them in the dryer I guess.
ME: Sigh. I thought you said you were in charge of laundry
HIM: I am! I washed all the socks!
ME: Well, technically socks don’t require folding…you just sort
of put them in pairs. I thought you said you would be in charge
of laundry!
HIM: I am! I washed the socks, didn’t I?
ME: But doing the laundry isn’t just throwing things in the
washer and dryer. It’s the actual folding and putting away that’s
so time-consuming. I could’ve thrown everything in the washer
and dryer. That’s why I didn’t want to start the laundry. Because
the backlog of clean laundry would’ve taken up all my time! So
anyway, now I can’t take a shower because all of the towels are
still wet!
HIM: Well, you’re going to get the towel wet anyway so it’s
okay if it’s still a little wet!
ME: Where are they?
ME: Is this your way of getting revenge for my not washing
your dirty socks???
HIM: In that laundry basket over there.
HIM: All is fair in love and laundry.
96 M • for the woman in every mom
M • for the woman in every mom 97
a moment with
Sunnyvale Massage Envy 408-737-9888
413 E EL Camino Real at Cezanne.
Spalding Square Shopping Center,
Sunnyvale ,CA 94087
Melt the Day Away
Dominic, age 6
What are three words that describe you?
Happy, playful and silly.
What’s the most important quality in a friend?
Somebody that listens.
If you could be an animal, what animal would you be?
A dinosaur because I can eat people!
What do you do when you get mad? I stomp.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A Yahoo helper.
If you had to be stuck on an island with only one person
forever, who would you pick and why?
Daddy because he plays games with me.
What grown-up do you admire most? Why?
Mommy because she loves me.
What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up?
That never happens to me!
What’s your favorite breakfast food?
The food mom does not let me buy.
What kind of car do you want to drive someday?
A green truck.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would that
be? I will go to India. Is that a real place?
98 M • for the woman in every mom
Sunnyvale Massage Envy has a Great Massage for Every Body. We’ve made relaxation
convenient by offering flexible appointment
times to fit the busiest of schedules, and professional Massage Therapists to customize
the perfect massage designed to fit your life.
Oh, and did we mention the great price? Call
today and try us out for just $49.*
Are you afraid of the dark? NO!
What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made so far?
When I confused the number 34 with 30.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Open and close, open and close the shutters.
What is the nicest thing that happened to you today?
Cuddle up with mommy!
What is your latest achievement?
I learned how to ride my bike.
Do you ever get stressed out?
Yes, yes I do. When I get tired!
How do you handle stress? Go to sleep!
Do you believe in love at first sight? YES, YES!!!
Do you have a girlfriend? NO!!!!!!
*Introductory offer for first time visitors.
M • for the woman in every mom 99
100 M • for the woman in every mom

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