8 Critical Mistakes to Avoid in Planning a Destination Wedding

8 Critical Mistakes to Avoid in Planning a
Destination Wedding
Having a destination wedding and trying to do it all yourself is a LOT of fun, but it can also be
fraught full of disasters. These are some pitfalls that some of my brides almost fell into before
finding me and getting everything fixed.
So, who am I? I’m Amanda Peterson with Ocean Breeze Weddings and
Events, and I help busy, career-driven couples who are struggling to find
time to plan their destination wedding in Florida’s Gulf Coast and I help
them create that ultimate wedding vacation experience for themselves and
their guests.
What makes me different from other coordinators in the area is that I don’t
plan cookie-cutter one-size-fits-all weddings. Instead, I specialize in
custom event and entertainment planning which allows my clients to not
only have the personalized wedding of their dreams, but also
accommodate their out-of-town guests who are looking to have some fun and relaxation while
they’re away. Because of this, couples who work with me have a flawless wedding that reflects
their unique style; they save time, money and have free time to enjoy a fun-filled, stress-free
getaway with family and friends.
I want to help you not make the mistakes that could hinder a truly enjoyable wedding experience
each bride deserves. I hope these experiences from past brides help you avoid any issues that
may taint your lovely wedding day.
1. Guests arrive 3 days early with nothing to do.
When guests travel for a wedding, it is rare that they fly in, go to the wedding the next day and
then leave the day after. Most guests make a mini vacation out of it, and why not? They’re
buying plane tickets and hotel rooms so why not have a vacation? A smart bride will take
advantage of this and plan some things for everyone to do together. Think about it, when will all
of these people EVER be together again?
There are so many things to do at any destination you pick. Look around – why did you pick
that location? There is a reason you chose that destination for your wedding, so share the
experience. What activities do you enjoy doing? Plan some of those for your guests. Why not
have a wine tasting, group cooking class, day of water sports, guys vs. girls golf tourney or the
grand Stag and Hen outings?
Instead of socializing for only 4 hours on your wedding day, spend a few days with all of your
friends and family. This will make your wedding experience all the more memorable and all of
your guests will agree that they spent both their time and money wisely!
True Story:
I had a bride that told me this story of her brother and she did not want to make this same
mistake. Her brother and fiancé decided to have their destination wedding where his
family vacationed each year. The bride’s family had never been to the area before and
was looking forward to discovering a new place. Of course, several guests came in early
because they decided to turn this into a mini vacation and they all separately made plans
to go deep sea fishing, snorkeling, diving and play some golf. However, since they did
not know anyone else had arrived early, they all went on little adventures by themselves.
The wedding day arrived and while mingling with other guests, they discovered that
others had arrived early and were doing the same things by themselves. It was
commented that if they had known that, they could have been doing these activities with
other wedding guests and they would have had more fun.
For this enlightened bride’s wedding after learning from
her brother’s mistake, we planned a different outing
each day for her guests including a wine tasting, private
cooking class, a girl spa day while the guys went deep
sea fishing. One night they decided to grill the fish they
caught and have a movie set up on the beach with a
bonfire and made s’mores. Everyone LOVED this
wedding vacation and it made some lasting memories
and new friendships.
2. Guests do not know any local attractions or restaurants.
Out of town guests have usually never been to the place you are having your wedding at and
have no idea anything to do. If you do not plan any outings except the wedding itself, then you
need to provide a list of local attractions, restaurants, maps and other things that will help your
guests get around and do something other than hang out at the hotel.
True Story:
A couple had their wedding in the new town they were living in which was a suburb of a
large city. Their friends and families (I was a part of that family) arrived and stayed at a
lovely Marriott Courtyard (the largest hotel in this small town) which did not have a lot
of things to do or even great close restaurants. Because the guests had no idea where they
were in relation to anything they might want to do, they stayed in the hotel and played
cards with each other. By the way, I won most of the hands…
Whereas, a couple of mine was doing the same type
of wedding, but this time we designed a welcome bag
that included a map of the area by the local tourism
council that showed many different businesses tourists
might be interested in, a map made by the bride and
groom of their favorite spots and listed activities they
had set up for the whole group if they wanted to
attend.
This bride and groom had several comments at the wedding thanking them for the local
info and of the great souvenirs they had found. The guests also commented that they
would be coming back to the area to vacation again because it was so much fun and there
was so much more to explore in the area.
3. Relying on self for vendors without local knowledge.
I used Google all the time when I had to find vendors in cities I was not used to. However, I also
made sure I checked the reputation of any vendor I wanted to talk to with other people in the area
I trusted. The same is true with weddings – online I have found vendors with an inconceivable 5
stars next to their name that I would not do business with even if forced by gunpoint.
I have discovered lately that several people have decided they want to go into the wedding
business, decide on a name and then hang a shingle out and are then open for business. I’m
always wary of businesses that don’t show what experience they have or give you a reason to
trust them. You should be the same way because this is the largest and most important party you
have ever thrown and you want to make sure you trust the right people.
True Story:
A colleague of mine’s sister decided to book all of her
vendors herself without discussing things with her
wedding planner sister. I thought the sister was going
to kill the bride when she discovered which cake
baker the bride chose and had already made full
payment for the cake.
The bride insisted the items she tasted at the bakery
were great and on the web the baker had 5 stars. My
colleague agreed, the items at the bakery are great, but they are not wedding cakes and
that company has a bad reputation for their wedding cakes.
The day of the wedding arrived and the baker brought the
wrong cake and the interior was frozen. Additionally, when the
sister called to get it corrected the baker refused to
acknowledge the mistake and told the sister to “deal with it”
and hung up on her.
Be wise when choosing your vendors. When you do it yourself,
you run a risk of booking disreputable companies, especially
when you book your wedding cake. I am a firm believer that
wedding cakes should taste yummy and it is becoming my pet
peeve when people think all wedding cakes taste bad and you
shouldn’t expect anything more.
The cake is a HUGE part of your reception – there is even a special time to cut the cake! Make
sure it tastes good, looks great and, in the South, we have Groom’s Cakes too.
4. Booking the perfect house may turn out to be a scam.
In Northwest Florida, we have hundreds of beach houses for rent to have your wedding and
reception at. You can find Home Owners Associations listings, management companies’ listings
and also private owners renting out their beach houses during the summer. However, there are
con artists everywhere and they have even started stealing from prospective brides and their
families.
Online is a wealth of information as you know, but you are also trusting the website you are
looking at is real and honest. When looking for beach houses, I always tell my brides to check
out Vacation Rentals by Owner (VRBO) or stick with property management companies. Those
houses can be verified and their business practices checked out.
True Story:
One of my brides found a beautiful house online in a great neighborhood to hold both the
wedding and reception. I insisted before she signed the rental agreement, I wanted to go
check it out to make sure it was feasible for everything she wanted.
I set up an appointment with the renters via email to view the house, but when I showed
up I found out the house was under construction and their website had been hacked. The
hackers had set up a new website and this was huge scam. Apparently the hackers had
rented the house out to 10 different families for around $4,000 each in the past month.
The families had paid upfront and then showed up for their vacation only to find out they
were scammed and had no place to stay.
Do you really want this to happen to you a few DAYS before your wedding?
If you are finding a house online and it is not from a
major property management company, have someone
in the local area go check it out just to be sure they
are legitimate or ask around. There are several
beautiful homes where the owners are wonderful to
work with and that will only enhance your wedding
experience.
If you don’t have anyone, give me a ring and I will be
more than happy to help!
5. Deciding to bring your décor or guest favors on the airplane.
Almost every bride wishes to bring some of their own décor or
give something back to their guests for coming to their
wedding like koozies and welcome bags. Finding décor and
favors are big part of the fun in planning a wedding and you
shouldn’t have to miss out on it.
Destination weddings should be no different however, it’s a bit
harder to get items to the destination city unless you’re driving
or renting everything. If you have to fly to your wedding, then
ask your planner if you could mail your items to them. Most
brides find their favors online and have it shipped – just ship them everything to your planner
and they will bring it all to you. This way you don’t have to pay the extra expense for bringing
an extra bag on the airplane!
True Story:
A bride and groom of mine were travelling cross country for their destination wedding.
They arrived 2 days before the wedding and were going to stay 5 days after the wedding
for their honeymoon.
Their guests were coming from all over the world and they decided to have welcome
bags for their guests to receive upon their arrival that included maps, koozies and other
goodies. Most of the wedding party was arriving early too so they were going to spend
the first day with everyone putting together the welcome bags. We had already decided
they would ship the items to me instead of carrying them on the plane and I would bring
them to the house so they could have fun assembling everything with their bridal party.
The time came for the wedding and the bride and groom arrived in grand fashion.
However, the luggage with the last minute goody additions decided to take their own
vacation and did not arrive until the day after the wedding.
My best advice here is have a planner or a venue that will allow you to ship your items to them
so you don’t have to pay extra for baggage and you can also make sure it will arrive on time.
6. Not knowing you are having your wedding on public access.
In Florida we have a LOT of cookie cutter wedding
companies. You pick which wedding you want, pay a fee
and then show up on the day you choose and you get
married. This sounds like a great package for a laid back
bride who does not want all the fuss and muss of planning
an extravagant wedding. However, most of these weddings
are on public access and unfortunately there are so many
wedding companies that do this, that it becomes an
assembly line for weddings on the beach.
I want to cry when I see weddings on public access that when their guests arrive, they don’t
know which wedding they are to go to and the guests are greeted by the “planner” who is
wearing jeans and a T-shirt doing nothing to direct the guests. I have even seen groups lined up
and they have to wait until the wedding next to their ceremony site is finished or a battle of vows
and music with each other ensues.
Not only are these cookie cutter weddings at the same spot, but it is PUBLIC ACCESS – this
means anyone can come to that beach and set up what they want and where.
True Story:
A bride and groom wanted a very intimate wedding and they decided the only item they
needed for their ceremony was the arbor. Since it was so small, they didn’t think about
an issue that could arise on a public beach.
The wedding day arrived and the ceremony went well. However all around them were
very large people in very small outfits or questionable outfits, lots of beer, children
running around and it all ended up in their pictures!
If you decide you want to use one of these companies, please go with a reputable one. I’ll give
you a name of my favorite company that does this and they NEVER have these problems! Also
ask about beach access and how to avoid the assembly line wedding.
7. Not knowing the legal rules for your ceremony and reception sites.
Florida is an ideal location for destination weddings but there are different rules for different
counties and you need to know what you can and cannot do for an outdoor wedding and
reception. Each county has different rules, regulations and yes, permits required for having a
wedding, reception and even a general party on the beach. Some even have a noise ordinance
that states you must end any music played outside and any loud noises promptly at 10:00 PM.
In my area in Northwest Florida, some of the counties have added new permits and fees strictly
for weddings since this is a favorite wedding destination. This idea for increasing their revenue
has continued to grow into some Home Owners Associations and you may not even be aware of
this when you sign your contract.
Make sure when you are looking at a venue, you find out any and all problems, fees and permits
needed before you sign on the dotted line so you can include these in your budget. Then check
back a month or two before the ceremony date and ask if anything has changed.
True story:
A bride and groom wanted to have an intimate wedding
ceremony on the beach with the reception back at the house
they rented a few blocks off the beach. We had private access
to the beach that was deeded to the property, so we knew we
would not encounter any permits needed for use of a public
beach.
I called to confirm everything was still good with the beach
house rental company 2 months before the wedding and found
out the Home Owner’s Association decided to charge every
couple planning a wedding in that neighborhood a $500.00 fee
to use their beach access whether or not their rented house was
a member of that Home Owner’s Association. This fee was
also made retroactive to include any previously signed contracts that have yet to be
completed.
You do not want to find out the day of your wedding that you are not in compliance and have
angry people disrupting your celebration. Call 2 months out, 1 month out and again 2 weeks out
to confirm you are in compliance with everything just to be on the safe side.
8. Unknowingly order curbside service and not set up service from a rental
company.
One of the main problems I have heard from brides that booked their own vendors is that they
didn’t know what they needed to ask their rental company. Some companies believe the bride
knows exactly what they are ordering and they don’t ask more questions about service. Brides
order tables, linens, chairs and whatnot, but they didn’t ask for anyone to set these up and the
rental company did not fully explain that set up is an extra fee. Then the day of the wedding
comes and all of the items are dropped off by the ceremony or reception site with no one to set
everything up.
Some brides also want to save some money and think that if they order the drop off service they
can set things up themselves. Unfortunately, the day of the wedding arrives and they
underestimated the time to get ready and especially how much help they really will have.
On your wedding day, you should really be spending time with your family and friends and
enjoying the time you have getting ready. Make sure the vendors you hire are going to finish all
the little details for you.
True story:
A bride was having her wedding and reception at a beautiful local resort but she wanted
some extra linen that the resort did not provide. She contacted a local company and
ordered beautiful linens to dress up her reception. Unfortunately, she ordered the linens
for delivery only. The day of the wedding arrived and
there were so many beautiful linens but nobody to set
them up. The resort refused to help set them up
because it was not their responsibility. Thankfully, her
“day of” planner was there early and called in extra
staff and set up all the linens for the bride.
Remember – at most resorts and venues, if you do not
pay for set up of items, it will be up to you to set those
up.
9. BONUS - Not having help from a local planner
If you are a “Do It Yourself” bride and decide to book your own vendors, PLEASE hire a
planner at least for the day. Make sure your planner will review your contracts to make sure you
have ordered all of the correct items and have not overlooked anything. Also, ask for their
preferred vendors list if you still need to find some vendors so you know you are getting a
reputable company.
True Story:
A bride from out of town hired all of the companies needed for her wedding. She had
thought of everything: linens, flowers, musicians, DJ for reception and guest favors. She
had her entire ceremony and reception mapped out and the timeline was complete.
She thought she had finished everything and was done
earlier than expected. However, she forgot to order a
microphone and speaker system for the minister so all
of her guests would be able to hear the ceremony.
Thankfully, her planner insisted on seeing all of her
contracts and discovered the oversight of the audio
package in time.
It is always a good idea to have a local planner so you
can pick their brain for good contacts and they can also fix anything you may have
overlooked.
“Amanda Peterson with Ocean Breeze Weddings was
my life saver throughout my wedding planning process!
She spent so much time helping us find the perfect place
for our wedding and working out all the details!”
“The wedding day was perfect, and to be able to relax
and know that everything was taken care of was worth
more to me than I can explain. I could not have asked for
a better wedding planner!”
- Karen and Michael
“Our beautiful wedding would not have been possible without
Amanda. Living out of town, it would have been impossible to pull
off, but thanks to Amanda's knowledge of the area vendors and her
creativity made it the most beautiful day. She has a gift for making
your dream wedding come to life :)”
- Casey and Jefff
If you want to avoid other common mistakes that couples make when planning a destination
wedding from afar and make sure that your event is the most fun, memorable and stress-free
possible, my team and I would love to serve you!
To find out how we work with busy couples like you to pull off a flawless event that reflects
your true style and is a blast for your guests, feel free to schedule a complimentary Vision
Session with me. Our calendar fills up fast, so be sure to get on it while you can.
Get started here: http://oceanbreezeweddings.com/consultation
Lastly, congratulations on your engagement, and as always, Happy Planning!
Smiles,
Amanda Peterson, PBC