March - The Classic Motorcycle Club of Johannesburg

The Classic Motorcycle Club
P.O. Box 7709, Albermarle, 1410
The Master Link
Vol.48 - No. 3 – March 2013
www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
Contented
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Page: 09
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Page: 12
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Calendar of Events/ New Members/ Notice Board
Perpetual Motion
Editorial
BOTM
Letter
News – Entries for JD Rally Swell to 200
Upcoming Events – Sabie Daffodil Run
Upcoming Events – 27th CMC Convention
Guess the Bike
Feature – Looking Back
Classic Bike – Honda CB750A
Technical – Replacing BMW Air-Head push rod tube seals
Feature – Looking Back
Marketplace
Humour
Faces
CMC Committee
Riding Shotgun
[1]
Calendar of Events
March 2013
03
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: All British bikes except Triumph and BSA
06/09 JD Rally – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
Registration 6 March
Start – 7 March 06H00 at the Carnival City Casino.
Finish – 9 March Hillcrest, KZN
17
Piston Ring Swap Meeting
20
1000 Bike Show meeting
20
Club Night
23/24 Vintage Enduro – Sierra Ranch – KZN
April 2013
07
14
17
21
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Everything Italian – Ducati, Laverda, Moto Guzzi, Moto Morini,
Gilera, Itom
Club Run – SSOB
Club Night
Piston Ring
May 2013
05
12
15
19
TBA
TBA
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Off Road Day
Club Run – Cool Run – Contact Tim 082 629 2961
Club Night – 1000 Bike Show meeting
Piston Ring
Natal Classic – CMC Natal
Ride to VVC – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
June 2013
01
02
09
09
15
16
19
Benoni High School Wheels Day – Contact Charles Gardner 082 824 9731
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Honda
Club Run
DJ Remembrance Run – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
Vintage Moto Cross – Eastern Cape
Piston Ring
Final 1000 Bike Show meeting
[2]
July 2013
06/07
14
21
24
TBA
1000 Bike Show – Germiston High School
Club Run
Piston Ring
1000 Bike Show wrap up and report back
Natal CMC Bike Show
August 2013
04
04
10
11
18
21
TBA
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Triumph
Cars in the Park – POMC
Vintage Moto cross – Gauteng
Club Run?
Piston Ring
Club Night?
Magnum Rally – Contact POMC
September 2013
01
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: BSA
08
Club Ride
TBA SAVVA AGM
15
Piston Ring Swap meeting
18
Club Night?
21/22 Social Vinduro – Clarens
20-24 CMC Convention
October 2013
06
13
16
20
27
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: All other Japanese except Honda
CMC Winter Rally Contact – Pierre 072 513 9432
Club Night?
Piston Ring
Inter Provincial VMX – Venue to be advised
November 2013
03
10
17
20
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: American Day, Harley Davidson, Indian etc
Club Ride
Piston Ring
AGM
[3]
December 2013
01
01
08
13
15
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Scooter Day
Kiddies Xmas Party
Club ride in aid of charity
Chairman’s Braai
Piston Ring
Please note that all CMC rides meet at the Clubhouse at 08:00 and depart at 09:00
unless otherwise stated.
Welcome New Members
Eric Redelinghuys - BMW, Moto Guzzi, Ducati, Laverda, Hesketh and plenty more
Anthony Yates - Sunbeam and Suzuki
Marius Malherbe - Vespa
Andreas Olivier - Suzuki
Derick Prince - No bike yet
Graham James - AJS, Yamaha and Honda
Kevin Nunes – Triumph
Andrews Ward - Triumph
Gavin Lange - Kawasaki, Moto Guzzi and Ariel
Welcome Back:
Frank Louw - BMW
Notice Board
NB: Bank Transfers and/or Direct Deposits - Please note that when paying any amount
into the Club’s account, use your name as a reference. Without this information we cannot
reconcile who paid what for which. It would help tremendously if your transfer/deposit
confirmation could be faxed to the Treasurer on 086 672 8941 with full details!
[4]
Perpetual Motion
It was with sadness that I learnt of the passing of Bob Baker. Our deepest condolences go to
Sally and the family.
A lot of us will remember Bob because of the excellent silencers that he made, whichever
way you remember Bob, he was a great man, a great motorcyclist and he will be missed.
Most of you would have heard about Gavin Walton’s unfortunate accident after the pre DJ
Rally. I am happy to report that Gavin is on the mend.
We have had our first 1000 Bike show meeting and it promises to be another big one this
year. If you can assist with the organization, give me a call please.
By the time that you read this magazine the JD would have come and gone
We have another labour dispute in the Post Office and this means that you will be getting
your magazine late again. I urge you to consider getting the magazine via email. This way
you will get the magazine before club Sunday and it will be in colour.
Safe riding
Pierre
[5]
Editorial
A hundred years is a long time…
So the big event on everyone’s minds at the moment is the Centenary running of the DJ Race/
Run/ Rally, or to be more accurate, the JD. It’s hard to think that 100 years ago the very first
DJ Race was held. Think about that for a moment... One hundred years and still going.
That is quite an achievement.
Think about the things that you’ve used, seen, owned, driven in or on that are 100 years old
or more. Not buildings, those are easy; I’m talking about everyday stuff that has survived a
century or more. I can count them on one hand: We have a silver tea set and a crystal
decanter set in our family; I’ve ridden on the tram in Kimberley; I have a few old coins; and
I’ve driven in a 1907 Model N Ford.
I feel very privileged to have these experiences, but none of it compares to taking part in an
event that is 100 years old and steeped in such history, on machinery that is nearly as old or
even older. That must be quite a feeling. Judging by the amount of effort that has gone into
the planning and running of the event, it can only be a resounding success and it is certain to
run for another 100 years. To all the participants of the 2013 JD Rally, I wish you all the
very best.
On a more modern note, this month also sees the VMX Vintage Enduro (Vinduro?) being
held at Sierra Ranch towards the end of the month. If you’re keen on taking part or
spectating, get in touch with Hamish Ireland (contact details at the back of the mag).
March is also swap meet month at the Piston Ring club, so be sure to show your support.
The 1000 Bike Show will be the main focus at our Wednesday night meeting; if you’d like to
help with the show in any way please make an effort to attend.
Thank you to everyone who once again
contributed to this month’s magazine. As
always, the quality and variety of articles is
top notch. Judging by the Humour section
this month, you guys clearly needed a few
laughs, so I am only too happy to oblige.
Well, that’s enough blabbing from me. I
wish you all a peaceful Lenten season and a
Happy Easter. See you all at the club.
Till then,
Keep it upright!
T!M
[6]
Bike of the Month
February’s Bike of the Month winner belongs that
serial Zundapp collector: Pieter Snyman. For
February he brought along two of his prized
possessions: a 1974 Water cooled Zundapp; and
the ultimate winner: a 1968 air cooled Zundapp
Super Sport. The detail work on these “Other
Germans” was simply jewel-like, and that is why
it was chosen as BOTM for February.
[7]
Letters
Dear Marlene & The Classic Motorcycle Club
Thank you very much for your donation of R8000 received on 6 December 2012. Our facility
relies on your donations to continue assisting wildlife and your generosity allows FreeMe to
continue this vital role.
The past few months at the centre have been both busy and exciting as we’ve moved through
the peak of the breeding season. Orphaned baby mammals which have been rescued from
threatening situations include Duiker, Small and Large Spotted Genets, Scrub Hares, bats,
and primates. We’ve been lucky enough to raise yet another Honey Badger and Cape
Clawless Otter, both of which are highly intelligent and very demanding animals to
rehabilitate.
We have been amazed at the sheer diversity of species that pass through our hands at the
centre. At one point we had 5 owl species and 6 raptor species ranging from a Brown Chested
Snake Eagle to a Little Sparrowhawk. The myriad of garden birds and reptiles such as
monitor lizards, tortoises and a high number of snakes have kept us busy too.
One of our biggest challenges each year is the meerkat release involving up to 50 meerkats.
These are animals which have been kept as illegal pets and abandoned, dumped or donated to
us when they become unmanageable and aggressive. This next month or so will see us
working hard at the next meerkat release which is difficult but deeply satisfying. One of our
strongest messages is that wild animals are not pets!
Without your donations, none of the animals mentioned here would have the second chance
they’ve been given.
Thank you once again for your support of FreeMe and our wildlife.
Sincerely
Sharon Plint and the FreeMe Team
* RESCUE * REHABILITATE * RELEASE
Wildlife Rehabilitation NPC – Est 1997
138 Holkam Road, Paulshof, Sandton
(Off Witkoppen Road)
PO Box 1666, Cramerview 2060
Tel: (011) 807 6993
Fax: (011) 807 6814
Cell: 083 558 5658
E-mail: [email protected]
Website: www.freemewildlife.org.za
[8]
News
ENTRY FOR CENTENARY JD CLASSIC MOTORCYCLE RALLY SWELLS TO
RECORD 200 RIDERS
By Roger Houghton
The magic of taking part in a
regularity rally
commemorating 100 years
since the running of this
famous motorcycle race
between Johannesburg and
Durban has attracted a record
200 entries with a further five
riders on the reserve list.
This year’s three-day event,
which starts at Carnival City,
Ekurhuleni, on March 7 and
finishes in Durban, has a strong international flavour with 17 riders from beyond the borders
of SA. Six are from the United Kingdom, four from Australia, three from the Netherlands and
one each from New Zealand, Zimbabwe, the United States and Ireland. One of the Australian
entrants, Dorian Radue is a woman and a regular on this world famous event.
“This enthusiasm for an event which requires one to ride a motorcycle made between 1913
and 1937 is astounding and is indicative of the growing interest in classic events for both
motorcycles and cars,” said a delighted clerk of the course, Pierre Cronje, who is also the
chairman of the Classic Motorcycle Club in Germiston, which is attracting a good inflow of
new members these days.
“Classic motorcycle regularity
rallying is certainly not a male
preserve and this year there are 14
women on the entry list,” added
Cronje.
“We are also very pleased that the list
also includes two members of the
Blaque Diamonds Motorcycle Club in
Soweto. They are Thabang Buthelezi
and Khaya Nkonyane, who will ride
an OK Supreme and Zundapp
respectively. The machines have been
loaned to the two enthusiasts by Peter
Hall, curator of the James Hall Museum of Transport in Johannesburg.
“This will not only be a first time entry on the JD Rally, but also their first foray into
regularity rallying on a motorcycle and they are undergoing intensive training in the difficult
task of using a route schedule on a roller to find the way and then calculating arrival times at
[9]
checkpoints based on set average speeds. Early or late arrival at these marshal points results
in penalties.”
This annual event is usually run over two days and in recent years the direction has been from
Durban to Johannesburg. However, due to the significance of the centenary rally the riders
will have three days to complete the route which follows approximately the same roads used
in the days when it was a road race
on public roads. The riders will
overnight in Newcastle on the
Thursday evening and in
Nottingham Road the next night.
The route on the second day will
end in the grounds of the
Nottingham Road Primary School,
which is also celebrating its
centenary this year and there will be
festivities including a braaivleis at
this venue in the evening. The
rallyists will be contributing to a
fund to raise money for a computer
centre for the school.
“We are getting very good cooperation from the authorities in Ekurhuleni and EThekwini
(Durban), which is much appreciated,” continued Cronje. “Their assistance will focus at the
start and finish of the event respectively, with those who reach the final control at the
Hillcrest Corner Centre, Main Road, Hillcrest, going on a mass ride to Durban on the
Saturday afternoon, with the ride ending at the People’s Park near the new soccer stadium in
Durban. EThekwini is, in fact, giving the event a civic reception to honour its centenary.
“I am fortunate as the chief organiser of this major event of having a willing team of
committee members from a number of classic motorcycle organisations and clubs to assist
me,” said Cronje. “In addition we have had very good support from a number of sponsors
which is vital as we do not have an overall sponsor.”
Sponsors include: African Electroplating, Anderson Engineering, Bike SA, Cape Crane,
Castrol, Classic Motorcycle Club, Feltra, Kargo, L & G Tools, Maizey Plastics, Nevsway
Conveyor Supplies, Propsol, Protea
Metering, Randburg Coin, SA Vintage and
Veteran Association, Stick-a-Tile, SherLight, Traditional Triumph and Wynn’s.
For more information:
www.djrun.co.za
Pierre Cronje (Clerk of the Course) 072513-9432
[10]
Upcoming Events
SABIE DAFFODIL RUN
The Daffodil run up to Sabie is on again this year for
the weekend 19th, 20th & 21st April 2013
For those who have not been on one before it is a social
gathering of Classic and Italian motorcyclists in the
beautiful surroundings of ET enjoying some of the
greatest roads in RSA.
Wives, girlfriends welcome.
Inexpensive self-catering accommodation
If you haven’t a Classic or Italian bring your modern
The Venue is the Sabie Star self-catering Chalets located 2.5 kays from Sabie on the RHS of
the Hazyview road.
Those who ride together usually meet 8 for 8:30am on the Friday at the Argent Total
Petroport on the N12 ( 80 kays out of JHB ) and take the Schoemanskloof route turning off
towards Sudwala Caves to Sabie.
COSTS
This is an informal gathering so there is no entry fee and no sweep
The Chalets are self-catering with fridge hotplates kettle crockery and cutlery – bring your
own towels. Bedding is supplied.
Accommodation: R 180 per person per night
Two bed chalets are also available
You must book directly with Nick at Sabi Star Chalets 079 387 1868 [email protected]
FOOD
Food will be available at the Boma Friday and Saturday at R85 per head
A cash bar will also be available at the Boma
Braaiwood is supplied free and the Woodsman is just up the road, with a well-stocked SPAR
and bottlestore opposite
PROGRAM
Arrive Friday settle in meet friends, ride or hit
the Woodsman…
Friday evening socialize in the Boma
Saturday Morning 9:30 gather for an outride to a
lunch venue.
Saturday evening socialize in the Boma
Queries: Jan Minnaar 073 203 6460
[11]
Upcoming Events
27TH CMC CONVENTION 2013
20 TO 24 SEPTEMBER 2013
Due to popular demand, we have secured Jock Sabie Lodge for the above event. This will be
our 11th Convention at their venue. The whole venue has been booked out to our Club and
we had to put down a rather large deposit. Accommodation is limited and will be done on a
“first come, first served” basis.
Accommodation will be R250.00 per person per night. The Gala Evening’s dinner is at a rate
of R160,00 per person. Details of this will be available at a later stage.
Regalia still have to be sorted out, where after rates will be available on the bookings forms.
It will consist of a Golf Shirt, Cap and Badge.
Due to the large deposit made to the lodge, it will be necessary to raise a R500.00 booking
fee from participants, which will then be deducted from the final sum as per the booking
form.
Our suggested agenda will be as follows:
Friday 20th – Arrival and a braai in the evening. Bring your own meat. The Club will supply
pap, sauce, bread rolls and a green salad.
Saturday 21th – In the morning a run will be arranged, details to be announced later. In the
evening we will be entertained by Ken Thomas.
Sunday 22th – Another run will be organized for the morning. I am sure similar braai
arrangements can be made for the Sunday evening or maybe a lovely meal in the Restaurant
at own expense.
Monday 23rd – A free leisure day, unless something interesting crops up in the meantime.
The same forms as two years ago will be forwarded on request for completion and return to
the Organizing Committee. There will be NO CAMPING FACILITIES!
As most participants prefer the same rooms as they had in the years before, it is necessary for
you to contact Rita on: 083 774 6798, 011 764 3798 or email: [email protected] at
your earliest convenience.
[12]
Guess The Bike
This machine was built in West Germany in 1949 and featured single sided front and rear
suspension, no down tube and an exhaust pipe that formed a part of the frame. It produced a
whole 4.5 hp and could reach the top speed of 47 mph.
Can you guess what it is? The answer is on the last page.
Farewell
It is with great sadness that I heard of the death of Bob Baker. My thoughts are with Sally
and the family at this sad time. A quiet man, always ready to help with any problems. He
was a perfectionist in anything he did. Quite a few of my bikes were built with a little help
from Bob.
He will be dearly missed by everyone who met him.
Goodbye my old friend
Wally Errington
UK
[13]
[14]
Feature
Looking back
You can’t teach an old dog………………
Sometime last year, in an edition of this magazine, “Dislodged Rocker” released to a
breathlessly expectant world my secret disability. In common with (I suspect) many more
members of the CMCC I have a body which has matured at a more or less normal rate but a
brain the maturing process of which is much slower. In more simple terms then I have an
18year old brain in a 73 year old body. What this means practically is that there are times
when my brain writes cheques that my body finds difficulty in cashing.
This problem is exacerbated by my firm belief that a vehicle is built with a certain potential
in terms of its performance, so, if one doesn’t use that potential to the full, one is actually
wasting the hard earned cash expended on said vehicle.
Now, the Historic Motorcycle Group (hereinafter referred to as the HMG), is an organization
devoted to the restoration and non competitive use of old/ historic racing motorcycles. To this
end they organize events wherein one can stretch the legs of older racing machinery in a
controlled environment at a speed with which the rider feels most comfortable. By
“controlled environment” I mean on a race track, where everyone is normally travelling in the
same direction, where the participants mostly know what they are doing, where alcohol is
used only after the event, where all vehicles are subject to a technical inspection and there are
no taxis. (Because they can’t pass the technical inspection?)
When I became aware of this organization it became obvious that it was practically tailor
made for one who possesses my affliction and beliefs so I joined up.
The question which immediately arose was what to ride?
Back in the early 90’s youngest son Paul built himself a little 200 Suzuki with which he
competed very successfully in classic racing for several years. He never sold the bike
preferring to hang onto it for reasons of sentiment, so a plan was hatched to re-decorate it, so
to speak, in a livery as close as possible to that of a late 60’s (it’s actually a 1968 T200)
Suzuki factory racer. (Successfully I might add, to the extent that a few spectators have
actually asked us whether it was an actual factory racer.) So there we are: Paul is going to set
up something else for HMG so Dad is the nominated rider.
All through its active competitive career apart from being quite quick the little Suzuki’s
strongest point was its refrigeratoresque reliability. In three years racing it had only two
involuntary stops: A broken ignition wire and a crash. But this has not quite been the case
since its rebirth. It has suffered from a strange flooding problem with the RH carburetor.
Quite suddenly and for no apparent reason it will start to pour petrol out of the overflow pipe.
Other times it will stand in the pits like an old bloke with a prostate problem and quietly drip
fuel onto the ground. Possibly even more annoyingly, sometimes it will go very rich on the
RH carb and produce an obvious misfire and quite a lot of smoke from that side exhaust. By
Piper day on the first Sunday in February I had reached the stage of lowering the RH float to
an unacceptably low level which seemed to largely cure the flooding, although because of the
[15]
low float it was cutting out on the RH cylinder after a long period of full bore (and still came
into the pits after the last event pouring fuel all over the concrete again).
Drastic measures required!
A full strip of the offending instrument revealed nothing. So after cleaning all the parts I left
them to dry on the bench and called up No 2 son to come around for a technical discussion.
The pieces of the carburetor were all nice and clean and dry when he got here so imagine my
surprise when I found one of the floats quite wet with petrol to the extent of dripping onto my
hand. Then at last the light went on, and suddenly all the pieces fell into place. When I shook
the float it was quite obviously full of liquid. My gast was totally flabbered. My first leaky
float in 58 years of mucking about with engines. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new
tricks?
The really sad aspect of the whole sorry mess was the unpalatable fact that this was not one
of the dreaded Monoblocs or Concentrics from Mr Amal, oh no it was one of those incredibly
reliable Mikuni’s. Still, shouldn’t complain really; it is 45 years old.
Break a leg
Interesting photo of Robert Alan Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan) in last month’s mag. Some
say he was quite an accomplished entertainer and some say that he didn’t seem to know a lot
about riding a motorbike. Please guys don’t try that at home. Mr Dylan should have been
made to write out at least 100 times “it is bloody dangerous to ride a motorcycle with my legs
IN FRONT of the footrests.”
Very lekker Triumph though.
Ref: A bit on the side
Bruce Watts’s piece on sidecars last month really got me going. Thanks mate! Sidecars never
really caught on in South Africa, not for street use anyway. I really don’t know why unless
the majority of motorcyclists looked on them like I did. I feel that they carry the
disadvantages of both cars and motorbikes. Namely they are too big to slip through the gaps
but you still get wet when it rains. More storage space though! When it comes to competition
however everything changes.
Some fiftyish years ago sidecar racing was quite active in the then Transvaal. We used to race
on what we called grasstracks (although at the end of a Highveld winter there was precious
little grass). I might be wrong here but I believe that all British grasstracks were left handed
(a la speedway) but S.A. grasstracks were AC/DC (they went both ways). I got involved early
on in mid 1961 by getting a job as a passenger for a bloke who built a JAP (J A Prestwich,
not Japanese) engined outfit. Subsequent total inversion of the outfit at a practice session
convinced my pilot that this was definitely not his mug of Joko and convinced me that if
anyone was going to be responsible for inverting the thing it was going to be me.
So I bought my ex pilots sidecar and bolted it on to my Norton grasstrack solo and had 3
years of some of the best fun ever.
Now for a solo rider his first try on a sidecar outfit can be something of an ordeal. Practically
speaking you don’t tip it into corners you initiate the turn by turning the handlebars in the
[16]
direction you want to go. Directly opposed in fact to what you do on a solo. The sidecar outfit
unlike almost any other vehicle is a two track vehicle with two wheels on one side and one
out of line on the other, which except for a few special military outfits drives on only one
wheel. So with a left hand sidecar position, to turn left you actually have to ride around the
un-driven wheel whilst on right handers you have to force the un-driven wheel to run around
you. To negotiate a left hand bend then you open the throttle and steer left. On tar the result is
a nice steady left hand turn (or if you’re being silly the sidecar wheel lifts frighteningly off
the deck and in extremis will come all the way over the top of you).
On dirt however it takes little effort to produce a totally enjoyable power broadside which can
be with practice controlled merely by the amount the throttle is wound on. Right handers
need exactly the opposite treatment. Close the throttle, put a relatively strong right pull on the
bars and the sidecar obediently runs around the bike. Get this wrong when trying to go fast on
dirt and the outfit will head determinedly straight towards the outside of the corner with
steering on full lock. Closing the throttle too abruptly at this point will cause the entire outfit
to pivot about the front and sidecar tyre contact patches and lift the rear wheel of the bike
right off the ground (been there done that) and if you’re unlucky turn right over on top of
you. Oh what fun we had!
You see sidecar passengers are not just for ornament, without their mobile balancing act the
whole thing would go pear shaped very quickly, ask anyone who has accidentally lost a
passenger (not me I’m pleased to say). Getting a racing sidecar outfit completely sideways
flat out in third gear with all three wheels going in different directions is for me is one of
life’s greatest, satisfying and most secret pleasures (with my clothes on). Thanks again for the
memories.
MIKE WHITE
[17]
Classic Bike
Honda CB750A: Honda's Automatic Motorcycle
By Ian Lee
Hondamatic. To most Australians it is associated with the Honda automatic cars that were
sold in the country in the late 1970’s and early 80’s. It seems a little known fact in Australia
that Hondamatic is also the term given to Honda motorcycles equipped with automatic
transmissions, and that Honda attempted offering these automatic motorcycles to the
Australian bike riding fraternity with no luck. The feature bike in this article is a relic from
this era, a California-spec CB750A brought to Australia for testing in the local conditions.
Even though Honda Australia decided against selling the model here, the bike stayed, and has
found its way into safe hands.
At the start of 1977, Honda was producing two automatic motorcycle models: The CB400A,
known in the U.S. as the Hawk, and the CB750A, a reworking of the CB750F. These bikes
were initially conceived as a way for learner riders to get comfortable riding motorcycles
without fear of stalling. This allowed for the novice to practice staying upright, braking and
riding in traffic, all without having to focus on changing gears constantly as well.
I say changing gears constantly because the automatic transmissions offered on Hondamatic
motorcycles were not automatic in the true sense of the word. A shift lever in the same
position as a gear changer on a manual Honda allowed the rider to shift between neutral, low
and drive. The ability to manually shift between high and low made sure the bike wouldn’t
shift gears through a corner, throwing a rider off balance. Also built into the automatic
models was a linkage from the kickstand to the gear lever, so when the kickstand was
operated, the bike would put itself into neutral. This would stop the bike from starting in gear,
something someone new to riding might overlook after getting back on the back.
[18]
The automatic motorcycles lacked the performance of their manual brothers. Quarter-mile
times and top speeds were slower, the added weight of the transmissions not helping. The
CB750A didn’t allow enough acceleration on the downshift to pass cars, and the CB400A
transmission allowed too much chance of over run when heading into corners at speed.
Performance issues and a change in the demographic of bike buyers meant Hondamatics only
got a 3-year run before being dropped from the lineup.
In an engineering sense, the CB750A wasn’t just a CB750 with an automatic transmission
fitted. Much work went into this model to make them stand apart from their CB750 stable
mates. The engine gained different rocker covers and crankcases to suit the different
engine/transmission combo. The engines were changed from dry sump to wet sump, the same
oil going from the torque convertor through the engine to be cooled. The torque convertor is
of the same design as the Civic cars of the time, as well as the Moto Guzzi V1000, which
would have been a competitor to the CB750A. A three-part unit, the convertor was made up
of a centrifugal oil pump, a turbine wheel and a stator. The oil pump, driven off a primary
drive connected to the crank, would spin inside the turbine wheel, both of these components
being bowl shaped. The oil from the pump would travel along the vanes of the turbine wheel,
where it is then directed to the cup-shaped vanes of the stator wheels, and deflected back to
the oil pump hub. Simple but rugged, the Hondamatic motorcycles gained a name for
reliability that still stands today.
In regards to the
fuel system, the
standard CB750
fare was not going
to suit the
Hondamatic. Four
24mm slide/needle
Keihin carbs are
fitted, along with
an accelerator
pump so when the
bike is accelerated
from idle it does
not suffer from the
“Honda Burp” of
the period. On top
of this an
electronically controlled diaphragm on the throttle linkage automatically bumps up the revs
as soon as the transmission is engaged to make sure the bike doesn’t stall. Breathing out is
taken care of by a 4-into-2 exhaust system, the silencers swept up and back in the custom
style of the time.
Aesthetically, the Honda CB750A looks very different to the other CB750 models, the
designers looking to the GL1000 for inspiration. GL-style rims are fitted front and rear, a
19.5 litre GL-styled tank is fitted, and the handlebars are high and wide. The larger GL rims
give more ground clearance, but they also make the bike look bulkier than it really is.
Stopping duties are covered by standard Honda fare, disc in the front, drum in the rear. The
front caliper is slightly different to standard CB spec. A road test of the period rates the rear
[19]
drum as adequate and the front disc as “not being the best disc brake, but for the design of the
bike it works well.”
Instruments are basic, the tachometer making way for a large light readout showing whatever
gear the bike is in at the time. The speedometer gives the range for both low and drive gear to
ensure the rider does not overwork the engine. Drive gear is good from 0 up to 100mph, the
low gear being only from 0 to 60mph. Although it is possible to use high gear all the time,
using low gear in traffic is the better option, leaving drive for the open road. A large 20-amp
hour battery takes the traditional place of the Honda oil reservoir, fed by a 290-watt
alternator. Kickstart is in case of emergency only, with a kickstart lever mounted under the
seat in.
The Australian Automatics
In early 1977 Bennett
Honda, Australia’s Honda
motorcycle importer,
brought in two Californiaspec CB750As for
evaluation in regards to
selling them on the
Australian market. These
bikes were given to local
motoring journalists on the
proviso that no one was to
write up a road test. One
magazine broke the pact,
and published their thoughts
on the CB750A. This prompted Honda Australia, who had taken over from Bennett in
importing bikes, to release the bikes for a second full road test. This time journalists would be
allowed to do a full review and publish their view of the automatic motorcycle. This was all
for naught, as in the end Honda Japan decided that it would be a waste of money to specify
[20]
such a small batch of bikes to sell on the Australian market, and the two test bikes were the
only CB750A bikes brought into the country by Honda.
After Honda Australia gave up on the
idea of importing CB750As into the
country the test bikes were sold to Jim
Airey’s dealership in Sydney. One of
the Hondamatics was purchased by a
local car dealer, who painted it white. It
was stolen not long after and hasn’t
been seen since. The second test bike
found its way into the hands of the
current owner, who after 35 years is still
happy with the purchase. Modifications
over the years include an oil cooler,
lower handlebars for better riding
position, and the original exhaust pipes
put away for safekeeping. The only
other noticeable modification is the
retrimmed seat; foam doesn’t last
forever and this bike has racked up
some miles.
The bike being California spec, the
indicators and headlight come on as
soon as the ignition is turned on, not
something you normally find on bikes
in Australia. The bike looks immaculate
for all its years, looking no worse than
pictures of it taken for a magazine
review in late 1977. This CB750A is
definitely no trailer queen, either; if it goes somewhere, it is under its own power, and the
owner likes to take it out at least once a month to stretch it’s two-speed legs. This remnant of
an attempt to produce a whole new class of motorcycles is in good hands, the owner showing
it is possible to have a rare bike and not hide it away in the garage under a cover.
Ultimately, the automatic motorcycle craze did not take off. The CB750A was classed as too
heavy for novice riders and too slow for experienced riders. The bulk of the transmission
worked against both classes of riders, leaving the over-engineered CB750A without a
demographic to sell to, thus prompting its demise in 1978. Interest in these Hondamatic
models is rising, with riders realizing they aren’t bad bikes per se, they just require a different
riding style. It’s good this CB750A has found its way into the feature bike owner’s hands and
that he is willing to show it off. Or to put it in Motorcycle Classics terms: To ride it, not hide
it.
Thanks to the owner of the bike for his time and information. Also to Tom Day and Stewart
MacDonald for their assistance researching this piece.
Read more: http://www.motorcycleclassics.com/mc-dispatch/honda-cb750a-automatichonda.aspx#ixzz2LoHmQttE
[21]
[22]
MOTOR BIKE EXHAUST PROBLEMS?
I REPAIR AND MAKE UP EXHAUST SYSTEMS FOR ALL TYPES OF
BIKES & QUADS
STAINLESS OR MILD STEEL
WHY IMPORT - WHEN YOU CAN SUPPORT LOCAL
PHONE ANDRÈ ON 072 456 6161
[email protected]
[23]
Technical
Replace BMW Airhead Twin Pushrod Tube Seals
By MC Staff
Introduced in 1969 for the 1970 model year, BMW's "Slash 5" line of air-cooled twins was
the Bavarian maker's most successful new offering to date. Well made and incredibly
durable, the /5 and subsequent /6 and /7 models in all their various guises were built in record
numbers, with almost a quarter million churned out from the BMW factory between 1969 and
1980.
Today, more than 40 years after the series' introduction, there are still tens of thousands of
these venerable "airheads" plying the roads. Legendary for their ability to run forever, they
are rolling testimony to BMW's excellent design. But good as they are, they're not immune to
the sort of common problems that can afflict just about any machine. Eventually, any
motorcycle that's used will develop leaks of one sort or another at critical sealing points, and
with these BMWs the pushrod tube seals — the focus of this How-To — are a common leak
area.
Visible below the cylinder, the pushrod tubes, two on each side, house the valve pushrods.
The tubes are pressed into the cylinder at their outer end for a permanent seat and are sealed
at the engine block with pliable rubber "pillow" seals. Over time, these seals harden and
crack, with sometimes extensive oil leaks the result. Replacing the seals requires cylinder
removal, so it's not surprising that many owners let them fester for years before finally
replacing them.
However, thanks to these engines' relatively simple and extremely accessible design,
replacing pushrod tube seals is within the scope of a competent weekend warrior. Specialized
tools are limited to a good torque wrench, and if you do it our way you won't even need a
piston ring compressor. As always, a good shop manual for reference and needed torque
specs is critical. We suggest ordering the parts you know you'll need before you begin,
[24]
including new pushrod tube seals, cylinder base gaskets, cylinder head gaskets and, if they're
suspect, new valve cover gaskets. You'll also want four new piston pin clips (never reuse old
ones if you can help it), and make sure to have a tube of Permatex Ultra Grey for the base
gaskets. Before you begin, consult your manual for exhaust and carburetor removal, which
we won't cover here. Remember to clean each and every part as well as you can.
Although a seasoned mechanic can do this job in around four hours, we'd suggest budgeting
two weekend days; one for disassembly, an intervening week for cleanup and parts ordering,
and a following weekend day for reassembly. Importantly, this How-To assumes your engine
is otherwise in good running order, with good compression and no oil burning that would
require fitting new piston rings or refinishing the cylinder barrels. If you discover serious
issues inside, you'll want to reassess your options.
This engine is from our Race to Rebuild 1974 R90/6,
removed to refinish the frame. The steps are the same
otherwise, starting with removing the exhaust and
carburetors, followed by the valve cover, which is held
by three nuts, one on the face and two behind, as
shown.
Removing the valve cover shows the four studs with
nuts that secure the rocker arm assemblies and the
cylinder head and cylinder to the block. There are two
more studs at 12 and 6 o'clock. Remove the spark
plug, then loosen the nuts a quarter turn at a time,
working in a cross pattern. Back them off completely.
Here's what the cylinder head looks like with one
rocker arm assembly removed, the studs at 12 and 6
o'clock just barely visible. Note the pushrod just visible
to the left of the lower right cylinder stud.
[25]
Noting their original position, remove the rocker arms,
followed by the pushrods. Mark the pushrods for their
orientation in the engine and keep the rocker arm
assemblies in order of intake/exhaust so that
everything goes back together just as it came apart.
The cylinder head and cylinder can now be removed.
Tap the head and cylinder with a rubber-faced mallet
to break their seal. They should separate fairly easily.
Remove the head followed by the cylinder. Here is a
pushrod tube and its seal releasing from the block.
If your engine is like ours, you'll find the pistons caked
with carbon, which is quite normal. We removed and
cleaned our pistons, which actually makes reassembly
easier as you don't need a ring compressor for
assembly. Inspect the piston and rings carefully for
wear.
Our cylinder head (in the background) was similarly
carboned up, so we had Doc at our local machine shop
clean it and check the valve seats and guides, which
were fine. We're showing the cylinder only to note the
two chamfered locating dowels visible here at roughly
11 and 5 o'clock. These must be removed before
reassembly.
[26]
Here are the two dowels removed from the cylinder
barrel. Ours came out fairly easily using simply a pair
of pliers. Why remove them? BMW decided they were
unnecessary and has since changed the head gasket
to suit. New head gaskets will not fit over the dowels,
hence their removal.
Piston removal requires prying out the wrist pin clips so
you can remove the wrist pin from the connecting rod
and piston. Gently heat the piston with a hair dryer to
aid wrist pin removal and assembly. Before piston and
cylinder reassembly, install one new clip in the piston.
It doesn't matter which one. This will facilitate
installation of the piston/cylinder assembly, as we'll see
shortly.
At reassembly, lightly oil the cylinder bore. Ensure the
piston rings are staggered (no end gaps lining up) per
the manual, and insert the piston into the cylinder bore
from the bottom, which has a pronounced chamfer.
Ensure the arrow stamped in the piston crown will face
forward on final installation. Using your fingers,
compress the rings and gently work the piston into the
cylinder until the rings are completely in the barrel.
Leave the wrist pin area of the piston visible.
[27]
Rotate the crankshaft until the connecting rod is
extended, then gently pack a rag around the
connecting rod at the block. Lightly coat the base
gasket with Permatex Ultra Grey sealant and install it
over the studs. Note: The wrist pin is installed here
only to hold the connecting rod up from the engine
case.
Carefully slide the cylinder barrel with piston over the
studs until the connecting rod lines up with the piston.
Install the wrist pin until it passes through the piston
and connecting rod and butts up against the clip
already installed. Install the other wrist pin clip to
secure the wrist pin in place.
Remove the rag around the connecting rod and gently
push the cylinder over the piston. Note the pushrod
tube seal orientation, ribbed side toward the engine
with its offset at bottom. You can install the seal at this
juncture, but it's easier prior to the previous step.
With the cylinder pushed home, place the new
cylinder head gasket in place. The factory gasket
comes with sealant already applied. Before going any
further, make sure both pushrod tubes and their seals
are properly positioned in their respective seats.
[28]
Oil their ends and install the pushrods, ensuring
they're properly located. Make sure the threaded
valve adjusters are backed off. Install the rocker arms
in their respective places, followed by the six stud
washers and nuts. Following a cross pattern, slowly
work the nuts down until they just seat.
Check that the pushrod tube seals are properly
seated, then torque the six cylinder head stud nuts in
two stages to their specified torque. In our case
26lb/ft, with the first torque at 15lb/ft.
Adjust the valves per the manual. Turn the engine
over several times and recheck the valve adjustment.
Install the valve cover gasket and valve cover.
Assuming your engine is in the bike, it's now time to
reinstall the carburetors and exhaust system. If
already drained, refill the engine with clean oil. It's
time to start it up, free of oil leaks!
Read more: http://www.motorcycleclassics.com/mc-how-to/bmw-airhead-twin-pushrod-tubeseals.aspx#ixzz2LouRBmJh
[29]
Marketplace
For Sale
Honda VFR 800 - Less than 15000km on the clock, two new tyres, FSH, Honda Custom
touring Panniers (visible in the picture) Price R 65 000 negotiable
David Watson
082 551 5147
I have a XS650 Yamaha. All standard original equipment. Stood in garage for 10 years. Won
prizes on CMC 1000 Bike Show.
It is SAVVA Registered, licences and running.
Forced sale due to my retirement. R30 000.00 on C O.
Phone Gordon : 0718875538
[30]
I'm selling my GS1000G
Very neat and well looked after
1982 model.
Tyres still have 70-80% life on
them
MRA screen with a 1085cc
wiseco kit.
Bike has plenty power for a
classic.
License and paperwork are in
order.
Asking R20000 Neg.
Pls contact Sakkie
0760679038
[email protected]
2 x KAZUMA QUAD BIKES FOR SALE
Yellow, good condition, needs minor service
1 x 80cc @ R4000.00 - Negotiable
1 x 100cc @ R4200.00 - Negotiable
Contact: Rui on 082 444 8179
BMW R 50, 1961, in good condition, matching numbers, running, registered and
licensed R30 000
BMW R 50, 1960, project for restoration, matching numbers, no papers, R15 000
BMW R 60/2, 1967, project for restoration, matching numbers, no papers, R15 000
BMW R 67/3, 1956, project for restoration, numbers not matching, no papers, R20 000
Victoria KR 25, 1956, project for restoration, no papers, R5000
Contact Janus 073 228 0224 Benoni or email [email protected]
[31]
Wanted
Battery box cover for BSA- B25 Fleetstar 1970-71 model
For Barry Allen on 082 494 9678
Honda C110 Petrol tank and any other spares.
Please contact Gary on 083 226 8456
Norton 1946 model 18 back wheel or parts thereof. Cash or select from quite a few Norton
bits.
Contact John Wakeling cell 082 457 8327 or home 011 768 6793 work 011 433 8502.
Services
Reg Assist. Need help with getting your machine on the road? John Muller is able to help.
Services offered include:
•
•
•
Trailer introductions, Licensing & Registrations
Change of Ownership
Advice on Natis & Roadworthy Problems
Contact John on 083 239 2293
Library
The CMC library now holds a copy of most of the CMC magazines from the inception of the
club but a couple of editions are missing.
Can anybody assist in completing the full set? The magazines missing are:
•
Number 1 to number 7 which was from May 1970 to November 1970.
•
January 1981, January 1990 (although these might have been incorporated in the
December editions but were not stated as such) and August 2007.
I do not have the following, recent copies (in hard copy): 2010 May, July, August,
September and December plus January to July 2011.
If anybody has any motorcycle related books or magazines that they would be prepared to
donate to the CMC library please contact the librarian or one of the committee members.
Thanks
Bob Harpin
[32]
Charity
Gwyneth Cronje is looking for donations of wool for use in a charity project. If you are able
to donate to the cause please bring wool donations to the club either on Club Sundays or
Wednesday night club meetings for collection. Your assistance would be greatly
appreciated.
For more information contact Gwyneth on 011 849 3008
G.J. Electroplating
We specialize in the restoration and chrome plating of vintage &
classic motorcycle and car parts using the triple chrome plating
process that generates concourse quality results.
Other processes include: polishing, copper, brass, nickel, cadmium
and zinc.
P.O. Box 16055 Atlasville 1465
Unit 16 & 17 Middle Park cnr Craig & Dormehl Roads,
Anderbolt, Boksburg
Tel: 087 941 0637/8 or 011 894 4525 Fax: 086 622 6342
Greg Cell: 082 680 0740
E-mail: [email protected]
[33]
Humour
Amazingly Simple Solutions
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING
WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY
REMOVE ITSELF
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING
SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT
- USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND
BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.
REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT
YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE
SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN
YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - Q20 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE Q20. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE
THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL
PROBLEM.
From Bruce Watts
Little Bruce
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him
for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to
ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only
10.....where will you two live?"
[34]
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger
than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then, but how will
you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowances.....Jenny makes five bucks a week and I
make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month so that should do us just fine."
Mr. Smith is impressed that Bruce has put so much thought into this.
"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more
question.....what will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.
From Brian Hough
Ex Wife?
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One
evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his leather boots.
His wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of
silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I've been thinking, now that we
are married I think it's time you quit biking. Maybe you should sell
your bike.”
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, “Darling, what's wrong?”
“There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
“Ex wife!” she screams, “I didn't know you were married before!”
“I wasn't!”
[35]
Acronyms
Young people have theirs,
now Seniors have their own texting codes:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
TOT - Texting on Toilet
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)
From Henny Steyl
Squashed Testicles
There was a man who had had a headache for twenty years and was at the point where he
wanted to end his own life, but he decided to go to a specialist first.
No doctor could solve his problem, until finally one of them said "You have a very rare
problem, your testicles are pressed up against your spine causing your headache. The only
way to remedy it is to remove your testicles."
[36]
The man hesitantly agrees and gets them removed.
On his way home he walks past a tailor shop with a sign saying "ALL SUITS HALF PRICE"
Being in need of a new suit he walks in where a man greets him and says "Hello Sir I see you
want a suit, I would say that you are a 34 sleeve and a 24 pant."
"Wow! How did you know that?" said the man.
"Why Sir I've been in this business for 40 years. Would you like shoes to go with that?"
"Sure" says the man. "Okay I'd say that you're a size 10 wide."
"OK, now you're freaking me out...That's a great talent" says the man.
"Thanks" replied the shopkeeper, "Now how about some undergarments?"
"OK see if you can guess my size", said the man.
"Easy 36" said the shopkeeper.
"Nope 34" replied the man.
To which the shopkeeper exclaimed "Impossible a size 34 would swish your testicles against
your spine and you'd get a headache".
Condom
I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant
behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No,
this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me
to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all
around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She
unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time
to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and
KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.
[37]
She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.
Checkmate
A guy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl answered with a loud voice, "I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH
YOU!!!!!"
All of the students in the library started staring at the guy. He was very embarrassed, and
moved to a different table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and told him, "I study
psychology and I know what a man is thinking. Let me guess, you were embarrassed, huh?"
The guy responded with a loud voice, "200 DOLLARS FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO
MUCH!!!"...and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy leaned over and whispered, "I study Law, and I know how to make people look
guilty."
Warning about Bid-or-Buy
Be careful what you buy on Bid-or-Buy.
If you buy stuff online, check out the seller carefully.
A friend, Barry, has just spent R995 plus VAT on a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight."
From Phil Moser
Brakpan Zoo
A small zoo in Brakpan acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the
gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination the vet discovered the
problem.
The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse there was no male gorilla available.
Pondering over their problem the zoo-keeper thought of Frik van Wyk, a local lad and parttime worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Frik, like many of the Brakpan menfolk, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The zookeeper thought they might have a solution.
Frik was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for
R5000?
Frik showed some interest but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under 4
conditions:
[38]
“First”, Frik said “I’m not going to kiss her on the lips!” The keeper quickly agreed to this
condition.
“Second”, he said, “You can never tell anybody about this.” The keeper again readily agreed
to this condition.
“Third” said Frik “I want all the babies raised as Blue Bull supporters.” Once again it was
agreed.
“Fourth and last of all,” Frik said, “You’ll need to give me another week to come up with the
R5000.”
Puns for the educated....
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites.
His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the
ancient world.
Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the
king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know
for whom the Tells bowled.
3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
4. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the Medicine man. After a brief
examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the
chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a
month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.
The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
5. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from
the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized
profusely, saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
6. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one Slept on an elk skin, and the
third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby
boy.
The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the
squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
7. A sceptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the
assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure
for any case of constipation.
When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let
me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
[39]
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have
been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at
the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a
few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall
stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.'
Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it
only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a
word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a
mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
"What's for dinner, Zorro?"
THE BEST EVER LAYOFF LETTER
No wonder this guy is the boss, he is sharp! You can't be any fairer than this guy...
Dear Employees:
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Jacob Zuma is our
President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.
To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.
But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we
will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.
This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn 't know how
to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did.
I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'ANC ' bumper stickers on our employees '
cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.
I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change... I gave it to
them.
From Phil Moser
[40]
Faces
You’d swear these guys are famous or something…
Can you guess who this is? His machine in this photo is a little different to his other ride
which was covered in black sails and packed some mean fire power. Not to mention the
GPS that had a mind of its own.
Answer on the last page.
[41]
CMC Committee 2013
Chairman
Pierre Cronje
[email protected]
Tel: 011 849 3008 Fax: 011 425 1284
[email protected]
http://www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
072-513-9432
Vice Chairman
Hamish Ireland
H: 011 827 1670
Fax: 011 827 1670
[email protected]
082-772-0141
Secretary
Bob Hooper
W: 011 452 4737
Fax: 011 452 4738
H: 011 452 6070
[email protected]
083-381-0695
Treasurer
Rita Grové
H: 011 764 3798
Fax: 086 672 8941
[email protected]
[email protected]
083-774-6798
Banking Details:
Account Name: Classic Motorcycle Club
Standard Bank – Benoni
Bank Code No: 013042
Account No: 420 188 738
Charity Organizers:
Marlene Hooper
082-925-1447
H: 011 452 6070
[email protected]
Bob Hooper
083-381-0695
W: 011 452 4737
Fax: 011 452 4738
H: 011 452 6070
[email protected]
Japanese/Honda Spares:
Alan Green (Honda Shop)
[email protected]
Dave Carroll
Spares:
Brian Roulstone
W: 011 828 0716
[email protected]
Brian Neethling
Fax: 011 768 6829
Bob Linell
073-804-2970
083-461-3303
082-950-3766
082-546-7155
082-756-7155
[42]
Event Organisers
Racing Section
Trials Organiser
Timothy Romans
W: 011 661 1517
Alan Bayley
[email protected]
Graham Kendall
[email protected]
Gary Hunter
H: 011 475 2179
[email protected]
Peter Nicholl
Tel: 011 971 1759
[email protected]
082-629-2961
078-137-5609
083-468-1753
083-720-8688
W: 011 882 8030
082-940-1457
Fax: 011 392 4438
Off-Road Rides
Trials
Dave Haines
W: 011 803 1159
H: 011 465 1306
Fax: 011 803 0970
[email protected]
082-895-5259
SAVVA Reps
Freddie Viljoen
082-336-5590
Liaison Officers
Terry Hack – Members
[email protected]
082-697-6058
Webmaster
JAWS
[email protected]
083 459-7802
Museum Custodian Brian Neethling
Fax: 011 768 6829
Barry Allan
082 546 7155
082-494-9678
Trophy Officer
Rusty Thorns
Editor
Timothy Romans
W: 011 661 1517
[email protected]
[43]
082-629-2961
Riding Shotgun
Easter Bunny Express Delivery Service
Answer for Guess the Bike: 1949 Imme R100
Answer for Faces: John Christopher “Johnny” Depp II
[44]