Current Issue

CONTENTS
Publishers
IN
THIS
ISSUE
Stacy Bridges
Mark Nagel
BOYSTOWN
BOOK SERIES
Contributors
6
ARI
BUTLER
Chris Azzopardi
Dan Chisholm,
Kevin Lee, Omeed Memar,
Roger V. McCaffrey-Boss,
Anthony Morgano,
Mark Nagel, Tom Olah,
Mikey Rox,
Erik Sosa-Kibby
10
Production
Stacy Bridges
James Gumb
TRAVEL
16
TECHNOLOGY
26
DRINK SPECIALS
32
NEXUS DANCE CHART
34
GRAB HOLLY
42
GRAB NEWS
46
GRAB MUSIC
48
GRAB EVENTS
50
GRAB THEATER
52
Bar/Restaurant/
Directory/
54 & 56
GRABBY REVIEWS
55
MAP
57
CLASSIFIEDS
58
GRAB MAGAZINE
3712 N. BROADWAY #315
CHICAGO, IL 60613
TEL: 773-857-2262
WWW.GRABCHICAGO.COM
WWW.GRABBYS.COM
Photography
MOMMY
SMEAREST
Bear Lens Photography
20
Sales
Donny Aldo
Judy Kyle
Todd Wise
Public Relations
Nick Wille
ERIK
SOSA-KIBBY
NATIONAL SALES
REPRESENTATIVE
RIVENDELL MEDIA
908-232-2021
24
CINDY
RUDMAN
38
COVER: Jake Biondi’s
BOYSTOWN Book Series
MODEL:
Cory Zwierzynski
Photo By:
James Franklin
EMAIL:
[email protected]
All rights reserved. Publication of the name, photograph or likeness
of any person, organization or business in this publication is not to
be constructed as an indication of the sexual orientation or
preference of that person, organization or business. The opinions
expressed by writers and other contributors are their own and are
not necessarily those of this magazine, publishers or its staff. GRAB
Magazine is owned and operated by Grabbys, LLC.
4
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
COVER
GRAB A BOOK
Jake Biondi
discusses
his popular
BOYSTOWN
book series
“It’s finally here,” author Jake
Biondi said of the fifth book in his
BOYSTOWN series. “The wait is
over and fans can now discover
what happened to their favorite
characters whose lives were
hanging in the balance at the end
of the fourth book.”
The BOYSTOWN series has a
fascinating history. It began as an
online story released in
installments, each ending with a
cliffhanger that left readers
wondering what would happen to
their favorite characters.
Enthusiastic fans from all over the
world petitioned Biondi to release
the installments more quickly; they
simply couldn’t wait to find out
what happened next. Overwhelmed
by and grateful for the fans’
responses to the series, Biondi
began to write more quickly and
also began to publish the series in
book format. The series has
grown from one to five books
in just three short years.
BOYSTOWN follows the
lives of members for the
feuding Mancini and Ciancio
families (and their friends),
who live right here in
Chicago’s famed Boystown
neighborhood. The series has
become popular with fans due
to its memorable characters
and the constant twists and
turns in its plot lines. Think
Queer as Folk meets
Revenge.
Biondi loves interacting
with fans of his series, who
may reach him through the
website
BoystownTheSeries.com. “I
am so grateful for my readers
and their positive response to
the series. I regularly receive
notes from fans that are
connecting with the
characters and want to know
what the future holds for them. The
broad appeal of the book series is
incredible. It has a really diverse
audience,” Biondi explained
When asked about the fifth
BOYSTOWN book, Biondi said, “I
think the word I’d use to describe
the new book is ‘more.’ It’s the
longest book in the series so far, so
there’s more for readers to enjoy –
more romance, more friendship,
more suspense, more drama and
certainly more twists and turns. I
think readers will be surprised and
excited with each turn of a page.”
Season Five is already
receiving rave reviews. Reviewer
Roger Ward stated, “This latest
book in the series solidifies my
Seth Fornea
Alan Taurus
Jorge Orlando
6
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
belief that Jake Biondi is one of the most
masterful writers of fiction of our time.”
Rainbow Gold Reviews wrote, “If you enjoy
a great soap opera like story, with interesting
and diverse characters, you will love the
BOYSTOWN series and Season Five is the
best one yet!”
Love Bytes Reviews stated, “Jake Biondi
has a way of writing a story that sucks you in
from the first word on the page to the last
word on the last one. I would put his writing
abilities against any screenwriter of any soap
opera that’s on TV today and still call him the
best. His characters are extremely engaging,
his storylines are superb, and the
cliffhangers will leave you breathless and
waiting in eager anticipation to see what
happens next.”
Biondi is working with television producers
Weston Mueller and Gabe Fiscale, owners of
Legal Alien Films, who are interested in
bringing the series to TV. Biondi remains
optimistic that fans all over the world will
soon be able to watch their favorite
characters in action on television. Gay Media
Reviews stated, “This series could
completely be made into a television series. I
believe that it should be, as when reading
this series, I actually felt that I was watching
a drama TV series.”
Autographed copies of the BOYSTOWN
books are available at Unabridged
Bookstore, 3251 N. Broadway. It is also
available in audio book and all e-book
formats on BoystownTheSeries.com.
Photos by James Franklin Photography.
[email protected]
Nick Stracener
8
GRAB Magazine
Kenolivier Gisbert
September 6, 2016
Jo Franco
GRAB ARI
THEATER
Actor Ari Butler
How to Succeed in Business
Without Really Trying
By Mark Nagel
From the bustling streets of
1960’s New York City comes the
Tony Award and Pulitzer Prizewinning musical comedy, “How to
Succeed in Business Without Really
Trying,” continuing at The Marriott
Theatre’s 2016 Season, runs
through October 16 at 10 Marriott
Drive, Lincolnshire.
A high-energy lampoon of “big
business” life, the story chronicles
the rapid rise of young J. Pierrepont
Finch from window washer to vice
president of advertising at the
World Wide Wicket Company. As he
quickly makes a name for himself,
Finch comes face-to-face with the
harsh reality and obstacles of the
business world. From run-ins with
hilarious corporate-world stock
characters, to bad behavior office
parties and, of course, the office
romance, Finch soon realizes his
ascent up the ranks is anything but
a smooth ride. Jam-packed with
witty and wry jabs, this is musical
comedy at its finest, with dazzling
dance numbers and songs
including “I
Believe in You,”
“Happy to Keep
His Dinner Warm”
and “Brotherhood
of Man.”
“How to
Succeed in
Business Without
Really Trying”
stars Ari Butler as
“J. Pierrepont
Finch. GRAB
Magazine recently
had the chance to
talk with this
talented actor.
MARK NAGEL:
Where did you
grow up?
ARI BUTLER: I
grew up outside
Philadelphia, in Cherry Hill, New
Jersey.
AB: Yes. It was at a Jewish
Community Center production of
“The Music Man.” I was Winthrop.
MN: Do you remember the first time
you performed on stage?
MN: Because of your early talent,
did your parents want you to
take singing or dancing
lessons?
Photo by Liz Lauren
AB: My parents never made
me do anything I didn’t want
to do. I did know that I
wanted to be a movie star. I
knew I needed to learn to
dance because I was
introduced to the movie
“Singing in the Rain.” I
thought that is what I had to
do. I thought all actors had
to have talent like Gene
Kelly.
MN: Did you go to college to
be an actor?
AB: In ’99, I went to New
York City to attend NYU.
MN: Other than your staring
role in “How To Succeed …,”
10
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
what has been your favorite
role you have played?
AB: I recently did a
production of “Little Shop
of Horrors” at the
Cleveland Playhouse. I
played Seymour and it was
fantastic.
MN: The Marriott Theatre
puts on the most amazing
shows. Are you having a
good time working with
them?
AB: I have been working
with the most amazing cast
since I got here. The cast is
incredibly talented and the
director is a ton of fun. The
material is excellent and
they know how to put on a
good show. The production
values are high and like
you said, the audience
expects a lot.
Photo by Liz Lauren
MN: You play J. Pierrepont in the
show and past Broadway stars in
this role include Matthew Broderick,
Neal Patrick Harris and John
Stamos. Did you have any fear
12
GRAB Magazine
taking this role?
AB: No. I feel very connected to the
role. It’s about a guy who is
pretending to know what to do in
the business world. He finds out
that if he wears the right suit and
says the right things and is
September 6, 2016
available, open and nice to people,
he will go far. Plus he realizes that
no one in the business world knows
what they are doing. He just plays
the game better that anyone else. I
have had a few life experiences that
have connected me to that
Photo by Liz Lauren
realization as well.
MN: Plus this show is just fun.
AB: It is fun and there is a lot of
truth in what this musical aims at
revealing.
The performance schedule is
Wednesdays at 1 p.m. and 8 p.m.,
Thursdays and Fridays at 8 p.m.,
Saturdays at 4:30 p.m. and 8 p.m.,
Sundays at 1 p.m. and 5 p.m., with
select Thursday 1 p.m. shows.
Ticket prices range from
$50 to $55, including tax
and handling fees. Call
for student and senior
discounts. On
Wednesday and Thursday
evenings, there are a
limited number of dinner
and theatre packages
available, which can only
be purchased through the
Marriott Theatre Box
Office. On Friday and
Saturday evenings, dinner
reservations can be made
at the King’s Wharf
Restaurant. On Fridays,
Saturdays and Sundays,
dinners are available at
the Fairfield Inn. To make
a reservation at either of
these two restaurants,
call 847-634-0100. Free
parking is available at all
performances. To reserve
tickets, call The Marriott Theatre
Box Office at 847-634-0200 or go
to www.ticketmaster.com. Visit
www.MarriottTheatre.com for
more information.
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
13
GRAB YOUR CAR
TRAVEL
It’s time to put
Bloomington, Ind.,
on your gaydar
By Clyde Holland
The forward-thinking college
town is a magnet city for gays in
the Midwest. Advocate named it
the fourth-gayest city in the United
States, and Bloomington PRIDE’s
annual Summerfest includes live
music, drag performances,
workshops, and more than 10,000
participants. And with the famed
Bloomington Sex Salon, dozens of
gay-owned businesses, and a
distillery that makes its own Queer
Vodka, Bloomington is not one to
blush. Rather, it’s the perfect Grain
Belt getaway for the LGBT
community.
Where the Action Is
No matter the month, no matter
the season, there’s always
something to arouse your interest.
This month, head down to B-town
for the Lotus World Music & Arts
The Comedy Attic
16
GRAB Magazine
Festival.
The
festival,
held
Sept. 15
to 18,
includes
yoga, an
arts
Buskirk-Chumley Theater
village,
and
musicians
best 10 comedy clubs in America.”
from Israel
And The Back Door? Yep, it’s
and Ethiopia, Argentina and
pretty
fabulous. It’s Bloomington’s
Australia. You can also catch Dr.
only
gay-owned
gay bar and, on
Ruth at the Bloom- ington Sex
Wednesdays,
it
has
gender-based
Salon on Sept. 14, at the historic
performance
open
mic
night. So
Buskirk-Chumley Theater. Later
get
worked
up
and
give
drag a try.
this fall, the theater will have a “dePetered Out After Partying?
virginization ritual” and a midnight
Stay at the queer-friendly
showing of The Rocky Horror
Grant
Street Inn, a cozy bed and
Picture Show.
breakfast
in the heart of
In January, leave
Bloomington.
There’s also Hyatt
behind the cold-asPlace,
one
of
Bloomington PRIDE’s
balls Chicago
sponsors.
And
for an out-of-theweather and head to
box
overnight
stay,
check out the
B-town for the annual
cottages
at
the
Tibetan
Mongolian
PRIDE Film Festival.
Buddhist
Cultural
Center.
They
The three-day festival
resemble traditional Mongolian
will feature
gay,
lesbian,
bisexual
and
pansexual,
transgender and
genderexpansive,
and LGBTQ
films. And
while you’re
at it, drop
by The
Comedy
Attic,
which Amy
Schumer
deemed
“one of the
September 6, 2016
yurts, but boast
modern amenities and
are located on the
center’s wooded, 108acre site.
Fork Around
Have breakfast,
second breakfast,
elevenses, lunch,
afternoon tea, dinner,
and supper at B-town’s
gay-owned eateries:
Bloomington Bagel
Company,
FARMbloomington,
The Owlery
(vegetarian), and BLU
Boy Chocolate Café &
Cakery. Indulge in a
caramel almond
crunch donut from
Rainbow Bakery, an
all-vegan bakery, or sip
one of Upland
Brewing Company’s
sours, which made Huffington
Post’s list of the most sought-after
craft beers in America. Or check
out one of Bloomington’s 40-plus
Asian restaurants. And don’t forget
NOCO, where chef Sasha Divine
18
GRAB Magazine
Rainbow Bakery
dishes out oysters and jumbo
Campeche Bay shrimp. You also
can order a fresh mango sorbet
and have a foodgasm. Your choice.
When it comes to quieting your
caffeine craving, Hopscotch has
September 6, 2016
you covered. It’s located on the BLine Trail, across from Cardinal
Spirits. The distillery offers tours
and craft cocktails, and created
Queer Vodka to support
Bloomington PRIDE. (Ten percent
of all proceeds from
Queer Vodka sales go to
PRIDE.) Drink up,
buttercup.
A Bicycle Built for
Two
Admit it. You want
one. You’ll settle for
matching bikes from
Bikesmiths, though.
Located in downtown
Bloomington, the shop
opened in 1975. The
owner, Jeanne Smith,
transitioned from John a
few years ago. Siosi is
another brand to check
out. Partners in both life
and work, Audim Culver
and Ivy Siosi build custom
pieces—desks, tables,
seating, and kitchen
islands, as well as
longbows and axes. And if you’re
dreaming of wedding bells, visit
Liby Ball and Andrew Davis. They
create tailored wedding attire for
hard-to-fit bodies—plus size,
athletic build, transgender-bodied,
women interested in wearing a suit,
and men in need of a gown.
Liby Ball
Bloomington PRIDE’s
Summerfest
Already planning next year’s
summer vacation? Escape the
concrete jungle and come to
Summerfest—a free celebration of
queer people. This year,
Summerfest featured two drag
queens from Orlando’s Pulse
nightclub, and headliner Will
G.I.A.N.T. Sheridan. So plan ahead.
In Bloomington, there’s always
room to dance, drink up, and dick
around.
See you in B-town!
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
19
GRAB A BOOK
BOOK
JOAN CRAWFORD HAS
THE LAST WORD IN
MOMMIE SMEAREST
When Joan Crawford is
stopped at the gate to Hollywood
Heaven and ordered to Hell “for
reasons well known to her,” she
charms (acts) her way past the
aspiring-rapper guard and
manages to enter Heaven on
probation. To get off parole, she
must return to Earth to both explain
her Mommie Dearest sins and
perform good works, most notably:
rescue true celebrity back from
today’s reality starlets and civilian
selfies.
In her riveting posthumous fake
autobiography, MOMMIE
SMEAREST: See Joan Crawford In
Bitch Selfie Ain’t Make You No
Movie Star, Joan, writing as L.
LeSueur, reinvents herself as the
rap artist mo.m.m.i.e.D. From a secret base
at a Florida trailer park,
Joan Crawford
launches a raucous
plotline that parodies
today’s rich and
famous − including
reality starlets from
Hollywood,
Washington, Wall
Street and the mall –
many of whom
Crawford finds lacking
as true stars. As part of
her good works to gain
entry to Heaven, Joan
plots to unmask a
corporate executive
blowhard in a miniskirt-power-suit she
views as a personalbrand-building
fraud. And most
significantly, Joan
takes aim at the
newest form of
“d”-lebrities: everyday people
who think they’re
stars because their
YouTube video has
gone viral or their
selfies have a
thousand likes on
Facebook. In addition to trailer
parks and a
chickenprocessing factory,
readers are
whisked into
phony-fabulous
locales including
Trump Tower, profootball stadiums,
boardrooms, and
the New York
Times social
columns. In
between her
20
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
squabbles and plot twists, Joan
offers hilarious flashbacks from
her own rich Hollywood life,
including a never-revealed (until
now!) audition for TV’s The Brady
Bunch, and a feature-length lie
called Monster Dearest: Keeping
Up with the Crawfords, in which
Crawford sort of, but not really,
explains herself as Mommie
Dearest. She even records her
first rap song and video, “Bitch,
Selfie Ain’t Make You No Movie
Star”, viewable now at https://
youtu.be/8OlFhBeRD0g.
In the end, multiple story
lines converge into an affirming
crescendo celebration that
includes criminal indictments, a
high-profile gay society wedding,
and the final verdict on Joan’s
entry into Hollywood Heaven. It
all serves as a reminder of the
‘realness’ of fame, especially in
today’s celebrity-obsessed
culture where anyone with a
smartphone can be a star.
MOMMIE SMEAREST: See
Joan Crawford In Bitch Selfie Ain’t
Make You No Movie Star is
available digitally and in softcover
now at https://www.amazon.com/
Mommie-Smearest-CrawfordBitch-Selfie/dp/0989380521.
Joan Crawford’s single,
“Bitch…Selfie Ain’t Make You No
Movie Star”, voiced by famed
celebrity impersonator Bonnie
Kilroe, is available on iTunes.
For more Visit
mommiesmearest.com
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
21
COLUMNIST
GRAB ERIK
How I spent my summer
By Erik Sosa-Kibby
How I spent my summer. By:
Erik Sosa-Kibby. What? I figured
since I’ve been gone for several
months and I also just helped two
little boys finish their summer writing
assignment, I would start mine in the
same fashion because, literally, I
think I have forgotten how to
critically think and write. No joke.
So, before you go critiquing this
material, please be advised that it’s
not my best. In fact, it may be one of
the worst. However, I must point out
that it wasn’t due to a lack of trying.
But, on a positive note, the bridge
has been crossed and I can only
improve from this point. I swear,
summer vacations, much like
technology, are becoming a burden
and really beginning to cramp my
style!
Technology is not my strong
suit. For example, I still don’t
understand Minecraft. Snapchat
took me a really long time to learn to
operate. And Twitter, in my opinion,
is still for Twits. Today, face is
everything. Facebook. Face
recognition. Face crimes. Tyra
Banks. Who knew George Orwell’s
1984 would be so 2016? With that
said, I think it is safe to say that I
have a love/hate relationship with
technology. I’m sorry, but I really
believe that electronics are more
temperamental than human beings.
But the intellectuals will argue that
24
GRAB Magazine
it’s the user. And I will retort
with, well, some people are
more electrically charged
causing some sort of
interference. I guess I just really
miss my light switches and my
simple television and an old
fashioned plastic remote with
working buttons. The world is
getting “smarter”and too
complicated for me. It’s literally
leaving me in the dust. I mean,
seriously, why does everything
have to be controlled by our
smartphone nowadays. I can barely
keep one attached to myself. And, I
am convinced that out of all the
smart televisions out there, we
somehow managed to purchase the
dumbest ones.
If I’m being negative, it’s
because I am overwhelmed and at
my wit’s end with these
technological gadgets taking over
my home. And when it malfunctions,
the user is always to blame. At the
beginning of summer, LED lights and
motion sensors replace my
supposedly archaic light bulbs
throughout the house. This
upgraded system was supposed to
make my life easier. Not! Four
months in and still struggling to have
it work appropriately. You try
dressing yourself in the dark as you
wave your hands and body around
in the hopes that you trigger a
motion sensor. I mean
really, did the light
switches have to go?
Why do we
complicate things or
am I just that inept?
Fudge! This article
was supposed to be
about our summer
vacation and how
exhausting then can
be. Unfortunately, I
have seem to have
derailed that of
course. Ugh. Okay.
Let’s start over and
put my emotions
aside.
Summer is officially
over for me and I am
pretty excited to
return to my
everyday. Thank God
because this summer
September 6, 2016
was off the chain in so many ways.
Honestly, I have never been so busy.
But what was I busy doing?
Because right now, I can’t even
recall a thing. All I can do is relish in
the dark silence of the house and
the fact that I’m not running around
doing something for Cole and
Parker. Instead, I’m focused on one
of my projects that I had, again,
pushed aside in order to ensure that
the boys’ and their friends had a
memorable season.
If I really contemplate about
what we did this summer, I would
say that things started steamrolling
in May, the month before school was
out. In our household, May is a very
special month because we celebrate
two birthdays, Cole’s is on the 15th
and Parker’s is on the 28th.
However, this was no ordinary year
because Cole and Parker reached a
milestone in their lives by turning 10.
And, in celebration of this occasion,
Mark and I wanted to do something
special for them, so we began to
think outside the box. Instead of a
birthday party and presents this
year, we surprised the boys and their
classmates by taking them to iFly, an
indoor skydiving facility in
Rosemont, IL. Last, we topped the
excursion by giving them first row
tickets to see their favorite band,
Twenty One Pilots.
Yes, May was full of surprises
but not only for the boys, but also
for 15 years of being with Mark. I
was finally proposed to at an ever
appropriate Quinceñera party. For all
intents and purposes, it was
unromantically romantic, just like our
courthouse wedding.
WTF! The lights just went out
again. I need to regain composure
and get a drink before I lose it!
(To be continued)
GRAB AN APP
TECH
SURGE
The location-based app
has been called the
“gay Tinder™
By Jackie Beat
Launched in November 2015,
SURGE has quickly grown to more
than 1.3 million users sending over
10 million messages each month.
SURGE is the place for gay, bi and
curious men who are looking for Mr.
Right or Mr. Right Now. The locationbased app has been called the “gay
Tinder™! ”, and has the highest
user ranking among gay dating and
social networking apps within both
app stores.
Built using the latest technology,
users benefit from a clean interface
where users can see who's nearby,
or in a specific city, where they can
view other users’ stats, location and
quickly share photos with pre-loaded
galleries, with the ability to send
additional photos and video chats
that can only be viewed a specified
period of time (think Snapchat) and
later instantly deleted. Soon, SURGE
will also allow users the ability to
search among users who are looking
Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now, see
mutual connections, create verified
profiles and more.
I get it, we’re all busy. Too busy
to even leave the house and meet a
person the “normal” way by making
eye contact, flirting, buying them a
drink, making small talk and then
maybe exchanging phone numbers
or simply cutting to the chase and
going home with them to fuck their
brains out. But thankfully we now
have dating apps – or as I like to call
them, the “microwave oven” of
romance. I mean, when I want a Hot
Pocket I want it NOW! And when
most Gay men want a Hottie, they’re
like that woman, Sweet Brown, who
went viral after being interviewed by
the local news outside the apartment
fire: “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
Dating apps make it possible to
sit at home while bingeing on
Stranger Things – and tater tots if
you’re a Bear – in your underwear
while perusing photos of eligible Gay
men like your straight
girlfriends shop online for shoes. But
even when we’re using an app,
26
GRAB Magazine
we’re like
super busy. So
we use
“acronyms.”
That’s what
you call it when
you take the
first letter of
each word in a
phrase to make
a cute little
time-saving
code. If you’ve
ever been to a
cheesy
wedding
reception you are familiar with not
only one, but two well-known
acronyms: RSVP and YMCA.
So, let’s take a look at 20 of the
most popular acronyms you may
encounter while cruising for cock on
your smart phone. I will tell you what
they actually mean, and what those
letters could stand for if you’re not
careful. I call them...
Jackronyms!
1. A3 - What it means: ANYTIME,
ANYPLACE, ANYWHERE. This is a
very cute way of saying “I’m a total
slut.”
What it could mean: I’M AN
ALIEN WITH 3 ASSHOLES. Yes, this
sounds like a lot to deal with until
you realize you can finger, rim and
fuck this guy all at the same time.
2. ASAP
What it means: AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE. Two words: “Hot
Pocket,” remember?
What it could mean: ALL SEMEN
IS PINK. Um, I ain’t no doctor but no
it isn’t, dude. You’re bleeding “down
there” and I’m outa’ here.
3. ASLP
What it means: AGE, SEX,
LOCATION, PICTURE. Like I said,
we’re all busy. So cut to the chase
and let me be as shamelessly
shallow as I like please.
What it could mean: ASS SAGS,
LOTSA PIMPLES. It’s tragic when
you’re old enough to have a saggy
September 6, 2016
ass, but you still suffer from acne like
a hormonal teenager.
4. BDB
What it means: BIG DICK
BOTTOM. “I’ve got a really big dick
but I only bottom!” To me, this is like
if Adele quit singing and just did
voiceovers for tampon commercials.
In other words, what a fucking waste!
What it could mean: BEER,
DORITOS, BURGERS. Because
before I chow down on your cock or
eat your ass, a manly snack would
be nice.
5. BRB
What it means: BE RIGHT BACK.
The guy you’re chatting up is
obviously multitasking.
What it could mean: BALLS
REALLY BIG. Don’t let this one get
away! Unless of course, they just
look really big in comparison to his
dick.
6. HMU
What it means: HIT ME UP. No,
this is not an invitation to S&M. It
usually simply means “I’m
interested.”
What it could mean: HUNG
MEXICAN UNICORN. Again, don’t let
this one get away! Do you know how
rare a Unicorn is? Well, imagine just
how rare a Hung Mexican Unicorn
is... Yes, you guessed it, it’s mucho
rare!
7. HU
What it means: HURRY UP. This
is the “microwave oven” of dating,
remember?
What it could mean: HAIRY
aggressive and rude. Something
UDDERS. This person is letting you that should only be said by an 8
know that he not only has moobs,
year-old or an irritable, dieting
but they are delightfully furry. Enjoy! Kardashian.
8. ILYK
What it could mean: MESS
What it means: I’LL LET YOU
YOUR OWN BOXERS. Two words:
KNOW. Not hard to figure out. A
Scat queen. (Again, no judgment
nice way of buying a little time. You here... Knock yourself out, Señor
never know, something better may
Poopy-Pants!)
come along...
14. NBD
What it could mean: I LIKE
What it means: NO BIG DEAL.
YELLOW KALE. Uh oh, you are
This is a very easy-going person.
dealing with a vegan into water
sports. I am not judging... Just
know what you’re getting yourself
into, that’s all I’m saying.
9. ITAI
What it means: I’LL THINK
ABOUT IT. Usually only used by a
wishy-washy type who thinks that
even answering a fucking question
is a commitment.
What it could mean: I TAKE
ARMENIAN INCHES. Unless you’re
porn star Adam Ramzi, move on.
10. J4T
What it means: JUST FOR
TODAY. They are either very
existential or just extremely noncommittal.
What it could mean: JACK
FOR TATER TOTS. This means “I
will give you a hand-job for hot ‘n’
crispy potato goodness. Throw in
some ranch dressing and I’ll lick
your balls a little while I do it, too.”
11. LOL
What it means: LAUGHING
OUT LOUD. This seldom means
the person you are chatting with is
actually laughing out loud. It
usually means they can’t think of
anything else to type.
What it could mean: LOVES
OLD LADIES. You are trying to
Quite possibly a chronic pothook-up with a hardcore Golden
smoker. Or a surfer. Or both.
Girls fan. Hey, nothing wrong with
What it could mean: NO BLUE
that but just plan accordingly and
DILDOS.
Yes, this is very specific
maybe work on perfecting your Bea
and I know what you’re thinking:
Arthur impersonation.
That you will never ever see this
12. M4M
acronym, right? But what if I told
What is means: MASCULINE
you I was once molested by a
FOR MASCULINE. Only the
Smurf? Yeah, now you totally get it.
butchest, most-rugged real men
need apply. Because there’s
15. NMHJC
nothing sexier than a self-hating
What it means: NOT MUCH
homosexual.
HERE,
JUST CHILLIN’. Laid-back.
What it could mean: MAD FOR
Cool.
More
than likely unemployed.
MADONNA. Warning: He’s going to
What it could mean: NO
talk about her. All. The. Time.
MORMONS, HINDUS, JEWS,
13. MYOB
CHRISTIANS. Hey, at least he’s
What it means: MIND YOUR
OWN BUSINESS. Very passive
28
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
open to Atheists and Islamists,
right?
16. NPNC
What it means: NO PICS NO
CHAT. “Show me what you got or
take a hike!”
What it could mean: NERDY
PRIEST NEEDS COCK. Hey, as
long as it’s between two
consenting adults, who am I to
judge? I’ll let God do that.
17. NSA
What it means: NO STRINGS
ATTACHED. I’d like to think anyone
using a hook-up app already knows
this is the situation, but thanks for
clarifying. I mean, we’re talking
cock rings not wedding rings,
right?
What it could mean: NATIONAL
SECURITY AGENCY. If you have a
fetish for emotionless middle-aged
men in black suits and aviator
sunglasses you’re in luck!
18. SG
What it means: SOUNDS
GOOD. Thank God for this one,
huh? I mean think of all the time
you’ll save typing just “SG” instead
of “sounds good” over your
lifetime.
What it could mean: SAW
GHOSTBUSTERS. This guy saw
the all-female reboot of
“Ghostbusters” despite the online
backlash and bad reviews. This is a
good sign because it means he not
only likes women, but can think for
himself.
19. YOYO
What it means: YOU’RE ON
YOUR OWN. The ultimate dis. Take
the hint, it’s time to move on.
What it could mean: YOU’RE
ORANGE, YOU’RE OLD! Let’s be
honest, this is really the only way to
respond to an unsolicited cock shot
from the racist human Cheeto
known as Donald Trump.
20. ZZZ
What it means: I’M BORED
WITH YOU.
What it could mean: A ZEBRA
GAVE ME THE ZIKA VIRUS AT A
ZUMBA CLASS!
Looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right
Now? Over 1.3 million gay men
are waiting for you. Download
SURGE today and use promo
code SURGE for a free 1-month
premium membership.
http://m.onelink.me/e7109022
Daily Specials
GRAB YOUR FRIENDS
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Charlies: Free Two-Step Line Dancing Lessons @ 7:30pm, Country Dancing until 11pm, Bingo with Darla
Dae 11pm-1am, Dance Music with Lightning LuLu Until 4am. $2 Wells & Draft Pints, $13 Absolut Pitchers.
Crew: Pub Quiz 8pm $5 chicken strips $4 Hopothesis beers $5 Absolut Cocktails. Hydrate: $2 Drinks,
$5 Cover after Midnight, DJ Laura B. Kit Kat: Half-priced drink menu & 33 percent off entire food menu.
Lucky Horseshoe: Open at 3pm, Dancers 7pm. North End: Open at 11am, Free pool, $10.75 Miller
Lite Pitchers. Phoenix Bar: Karaoke Night 2.50 Mystery Shot special, $3 Miller Lite Bottles. Progress
Bar: 9PM EVERY MONDAY Gia's Gunns and Roses Drag Show, $5 ABSOLUT vodka cocktails, $5
Jameson, $3 Blue Moon Drafts Scarlet: $3 PBR Tall Boys, $5 Select Martinis. Shakers: $13 Mix &
Match Buckets, $4 Jager Shots. Sidetrack: Open at 3pm. Musical Monday Show Tunes 8pm-2am.
SoFo Tap: $5 Jameson Shots, $3 Well and Select Call Cocktails, $3 All Draft Beers, $2 SIN (Service
Industry) Feature, 8PM – Close, SIN – Service Industry Night. Steamworks: $5 off w/Student ID, Quick
Trix 9a-1p $7 lockers, The Office: $5 Martinis (you-call-it). Touche: Big Game Night Come Out & Play.
@mosphere: 1st Tuesday of the month Killer Cabaret 9-11pm. 2nd & 3rd Tuesdays Killer Open Mic
9-11pm 3rd Tuesdays of the month is Killer Babes Drag Show 10pm, $4 Freball Shots $6 Stoli Cocktails.
Charlie’s: Rockstar Karaoke with Jeremiah 9pm-1am. Top 40's Dance Beats with Lightning
LuLu 1am-4am. $2 Draft Pints, $3 Fireball, $13 You-Call-It Pitchers. Crew: $1 Tacos, $5 Beergarita
Pints, $5 Michelada, $20 mexican beer buckets. Kit Kat Lounge: Half priced martinis & 33 percent off
small plates; Tarot Card Readings by Therese Murphy. "Burger, Beer, Bitch!" $14.95 Burger & Sam
Adams. Lucky Horseshoe: Open Auditions for male dancers 7pm. Open at 3pm, Dancers 7pm.
North End: Open at 11am, $5.75 22 oz Lites. Phoenix Bar: Dollar Drink Night (Well liquor only), $5
Manager Shot Special. Progress Bar: Industry night 50% off everything for industry people with a valid
pay stub $4 Fat Tire drafts, $5 Jack Daniels products. Replay Beer & Bourbon: Tat-Tuesdays with
Keith, Ryan and HO-sted by Debbie Fox, Richard on Door, FREE Tattoo weekly! Sidetrack: Open at
3pm, TRL Tuesday: Totally Rad Line-up of 90's and early 00's Music Videos 8pm-2am. SoFo Tap:
$5 Absolut cocktails, $6.50 Big Beers (all drafts), 9PM Tringo (Trivia Bingo) with host Sister Margaret
Cootersnatch. Scarlet: $4 You-Call-Its, $4 Jager, Jameson, Rumpleminze Shots. Steamworks: Come
Back Tuesdays Use your weekend receipt to get $4 off anytime Tuesday or Wednesday, 4p-7p-Howard
Brown Open Testing To the Public. $5 off w/Student ID. The Call: Vodka Night & Music Videos. $5 Skyy
Vodka Cocktails. Touche: Hardcore Cruisin’ $1 off drinks for those in leather, Club Room Open.
@mosphere: Naughty Stripper Bingo 8:30pm $5 Rosebud Shots, $5 Sultry Shots. Baton Show
Lounge: Shows at 8:30pm, 10:30pm & 12:30am. Charlie’s: Shower Contest Hosted by Carlos $100
Cash Prize for first place! Sign up by 11pm. $2 Wells $1 Draft Pints, DJ Alex Cabot spins till 4am. Crew:
$5 off all pitchers of beer (Beer buddy Wednesdays) $5 stoli cocktails. Kit Kat Lounge: Half-price
Cocktails & Martinis, Buy one entree get one free. Lucky Horseshoe: Open at 3pm, Dancers 7pm.
North End: Open at 11am, $5.75 22 oz Lites. Phoenix Bar: Hump Day! $5 Absolut Vodka, $5
Manager Shot Special Progress Bar: $4 Svedka Flavors and $3 Coronas. Scarlet: $3 Miller Lite, $4
Svedka, $4 Old School Shots. Shakers: $1 Off Craft Beers, $1 Off Long Island Iced Teas and Flavored
Teas. Sidetrack: Open at 3pm, Woof Wednesday 1st Wed of Month, monthly All Things Beyonce and
Sync It Parties other Wed.'s 9pm-2am SoFo Tap: $4 Fat Tire Drafts, $6.50 Fat Tire Big Beers, $4
Fireball Shots, 9PM Live Game Show with host Dick Guhzinya. Steamworks: Come Back
Wednesdays Use your weekend receipt to get $4 off anytime Tuesday or Wednesday, $5 off w/Student
ID. The Call: Showtunes Absolut & Skyy Martini Specials. The Office: $3 Wells & $2.50 16oz Draft
Beers. Karaoke at 9pm Touche: Jockstrap Night Free Pants Check $1 off drinks for those in jocks.
Thursday
@mosphere: Male Dancers 10pm. Baton Show Lounge: Shows at 8:30pm, 10:30pm & 12:30am.
Charlie’s: Industry Night! Dancers, $3 You-Call-It Drinks, Shots, and Beer All Day! (Excludes
LongIsland) Dart League 8pm. Dart Tournament 10pm. Afterhours Dance Music with Ron G from
11pm-4am.. Crew: Karaoke 10pm, $3.50 Draft beers (not including high ABV). Hydrate: $5 Effen
Cocktails & Bombs. Kit Kat Lounge: Half-priced martinis and $5 mojitos; Tarot Card Readings by
Therese Murphy. Lucky Horseshoe: Open at 3pm, Dancers 4pm. North End: Open at 11am,
$10.75 Miller Lite Pitchers. Phoenix Bar: Dancers and Go-go Boys! $5 Bacardi, $5 Vegas Bombs.
Progress Bar: 1st Thurs Illuminaughty Party, Every Thurs $4 Fireball and $3 Miller LIte drafts.
Scarlet: $5 40 oz. Miller Lite, $5 24 oz. Corona, $5 Long Island Mini-Pitchers, $5 Old School Shots.
Shakers: $4 Fireball Shots, $2 Miller Lite Bottles, $4 Well Drinks. Sidetrack: Open at 3pm, RuPaul's
Drag Race All Stars Viewing Party 7pm, Comedy Videos after till 12am, Music Videos 12am-2am. SoFo
Tap: $6 Miller Lite Draft and a Shot of Jameson, $3 Blueberry or Raspberry Vodka Lemonades, $1 Jello
Shots Steamworks: $5 off w/Student ID. Touche: Handballer Night Red/White Hanky Specials Club
Room Open. 9/15 LA&M 25th Anniversary Registration 8pm.
32
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
Friday
@mosphere: Male Dancers 10:30pm. Baton Show Lounge: Shows at 8:30pm, 10:30pm &
12:30am. Charlie’s: Free Two-Step Line Dancing Lessons @10pm Country Dancing until 1:30am,Top 40
Dance/House Mixes with Lightning LuLu till 4am. $5 Draft Pitchers & $13 Long Island Pitchers.
Crew: $4.25 Lagunitas IPA pints, $2 PBR cans, $4.50 Skinny Lemonade F.O’Mahony’s: $15 All-U-Can
Eat Fish & Chips. Hydrate: $4 Jameson Shots. Kit Kat Lounge: $32 three course prix-fixe menuincludes a martini, salad and entree. Lucky Horseshoe: Open at 3pm, Dancers 4pm. North End:
Open at 11am, $5.75 22 oz Lites. Phoenix Bar: Dance Night with Go-go boys! $5 Three-Olives Vodka, $5
Fireball. Progress Bar: 9PM to 10PM POWER HOUR $2 All Svedka Cocktails, No Cover EVER DJ starts at
10PM. Shakers: $3 Molson Golden Bottles, $5 Cosmos. Sidetrack: Open at 3pm, T.G.I.F. Show Tunes
5-9 pm, High Energy 9pm-2am. SoFo Tap: $6 Big Miller Lites, $4 Red Stag Shots or Cocktails, $4 Fireball
Shots, $2 PBR Cans, 3PM – 7PM, Customer Appreciation – Free Food (while supplies last), Free Darts, first
10 people in get a scratch off Lotto Ticket 9PM – Close, GRR… It’s Friday – Bear Party. Steamworks:
Quick Trix 9a-1p $7 lockers, 9p-12a TPAN HIV Rapid Test. The Office: DJ’s @ 10pm. Touche: 9/9 Great
Lakes Drummer Welcome Party 9pm, M.A.F.I.A. Club Night. 9/16 LA&M 25th Anniversary REception 10pm,
Full Moon Punk Rock Party Hot Rock, raffles & contest for cash.
Saturday
Daily Specials
GRAB YOUR FRIENDS
@mosphere: Male Dancers 11pm. Baton Show Lounge: Shows at 8:30pm, 10:30pm & 12:30am.
Charlie’s: Smoke & Mirrors hosted by Khloe @ Midnight, Lightning Lulu spins Top 40 mixes till 4am. $3 ApplePie
Moonshine Shots, $5 Draft Pitchers, $13 Long Island Pitchers. Crew: $4.25 Coors Lite tall boys, $7-9 Crew Bloodies,
$15 bottomless mimosas (with entree purchase). Hydrate: $5 Effen Bombs. Lucky Horseshoe: Dancers all
day! 2pm. Mid City Cocktail & Supper Club: 5/21 $6.00 Long Islands, $3.00 Diva Shots. North End: Open at
11am, Welcoming CMSA and AAC teams. Phoenix Bar: Dance Night with Go-go boys! $5 Svedka Vodka, $5
Fireball. Progress Bar: No Cover Ever. DJ starts at 10:30 p.m. Scarlet: $5 Well Drinks, $5 Imported Beers, $95
Classic Stoli Bottle Service. Shakers: $5 Jager Shots, $4 Fireball Shots, $1 Off all Imports. Sidetrack: Open at
1pm, Sidetrack Video Mix 1-9 pm, High Energy 9pm- 3am. SoFo Tap: $4 Stella Drafts, $4 Fireball Shots, $4 Skinny
Lemonades, Noon – 3pm Doggy Days – Afternoon Dog Party, First Saturday of the Month - 9PM – Close, DILF, Last
Saturday of the Month – 9PM – Close, GEAR. Steamworks: DJ Jim Belanger 10pm-6am. The Office: DJ’s
@ 10pm. Touche: 9/10 Great Lakes Drummer Contest, CWB 5-9pm, 9/17 Oktoberfest! Gear Night, Celebrating
LA&M 25th Anniversary with Bluf/Chicago, BNC 6pm.
Sunday
Funday
@mosphere: Best Music of the 70‘s, 80‘s & 90‘s every week with Monthly Special events & Drink
Specials. Baton Show Lounge: Shows at 7pm, 9pm & 11pm. Charlie’s: Euchre Club 5pm-8pm.
Rockstar Karaoke with Jeremiah 9pm-1am. Top 40's Dance Beats with Lightning LuLu 1am-4am. $5 Draft
Pitchers, $13 You-Call-It Pitchers. Crew: $5 Beergarita pints, $12 Miller Lite pitchers, $7-9 Crew
Bloodies, $15 bottomless mimosas (with entree purchase). F.O’Mahony’s: $20 Mimosa Brunch.
Hydrate: $4 U-Calls Its Kit Kat Lounge: Half priced martinis, 33 percent off small plates;
Divalicious Brunch staring Madam X, 11am-4pm; $29.95 prix-fixe; $14.95 “Build your own” cocktail
package. Lucky Horseshoe: Dancers 2pm. North End: Open at 11, Playing all the Sunday
Funday games! Phoenix Bar: Latin Night / Variety Latino Show! $4 Corona Bottles, $7 Long Island,
$5 Patron Silver Shots. Progress Bar: Sunday Funday! $10 Bottles of Bubbly/Mimosas $10 Pitchers
of Miller Lite or Coors Light $3 Miller Lite or Coors Light drafts, DJ Chip every Sunday playing all of your
favorite music videos and always taking requests. Shakers: $6 Bloody Mary Bar, $4 Mimosas, $13 Mix
& Match Buckets, $5 Chocolate Martinis. Sidetrack: Open at 1pm, Show Tunes 4-9pm, Flashback
Videos 9pm-2am Retro with a beat. SoFo Tap: $5 PBR and a Shot of Jameson, $3 Miller Lite Drafts,
$5 SoFo Marys, $4 Skinny Lemonades. Steamworks: DJ Jim Belanger 10pm-6am. The Office:
$2.50 Bloody Marys, $2.50 Champagnes, & $2.50 16oz Draft Beers. Karaoke at 9pm. Touche: BEER
BUST $1 Bud, Bud Light Drafts & Sodas After the Beach Party 3-7pm, Movie Night at 7pm.
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
33
DANCE
GRAB A HIT
Top 15 Dance Chart this week
Visit nexusradio.fm
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
34
Artist
Sir Ivan
Nervo
Mowe & Daniel Nitt
BRKLYN
Joachim Garraud
Pitbull
Calvin Harris
Adam F
MK & Becky Hill
Cedric Gervais
Jaded
Kristine W
Billon
Yaysh
Hardwell
GRAB Magazine
Title
Imagine (Roger Shah Radio)
Did We Forget ft. Amba Shepherd
Lovers Friends (John Dahlback Remix)
Steal Your Heart ft. Lenachka (The Spacies Edit)
Don't Cry ft. Chris Willis (No Tv No Radio Remix)
Messin' Around ft. Enrique Iglesias (Richard Vission Deep House
This Is What You Came For ft Rihanna
Harmony ft. Rae & Kokiri (Kideko & George Kwali Radio Mix)
Piece Of Me (Radio Edit)
With You feat. Jack Wilby (Intro Edit)
4000Hz (Radio Edit)
Out There (Giuseppe D M.E. Radio Edit)
Slave To The Vibe (Radio Edit)
Wild One (Mike Cruz Radio Nexus Clean Edit)
Mad World feat. Jake Reese (Olly James and Ryan & Vin Short
September 6, 2016
Photos by
Anthony Meade
36
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
37
PRIDE
GRAB CINDY
Northalsted Business
Alliance Pride Person Cindy Rudman
CR: I have been a
for three
NoteworthyNotes Commissioner
years. I enjoy being able
Q: Have long have owned
NoteworthyNotes?
CINDY RUDMAN: I have owned
NoteworthyNotes since November
of 2000. I’ve been on North Halsted
since the beginning of 2010. Before
I opened my business here, I
worked from home, and then
opened an office on Kingsbury and
was in that space until I moved to
Boystown.
Q: What made you decide to open
your business in Boystown?
CR: I felt there was a need for my
type of business at the time, which
was more invitation oriented. I do a
lot of invitations for weddings and
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and the proximity
to the Anshe Emet Synagogue and
the Temple Sholom, and I wanted
to put myself on the “Mom’s
Route.” If they had to drop their
child off at their tutoring for their
Bar/Bat Mitzvah, they could easily
come in and order their invitations.
My business was expanding, and it
seemed like a great location.
Q: Why did you decided to get into
this type of business?
CR: I’ve always had a soft spot for
paper. When I was little, I received
my first piece of personalized
stationery and fell in love. When I
went to sleep-away camp, I would
never use the last piece from each
set. I kept it for my collection.
About 10 years ago, my mother
gave my niece my treasured box of
paper, and she started writing me
letters from camp on my old
stationery.
Q: How long have you been a
member of the Northalsted
Business Alliance?
CR: I joined the NBA immediately in
2010.
to assist improvements in
the community as a
whole and not just the
business aspect. I like
working with Randy
Shingledecker of RS
Design Studio and work
with local businesses
regarding façade
improvement.
MN: Where do you see
the future of the
neighborhood?
CR: I would like to see
more retail come in and
to make the street more
of a shopping
destination. Even though
everyone is welcome in
our neighborhood, I think there is
some misinformation that you have
to be LGBTQ in order to shop in
this community. That isn’t the case.
I think it is important for people to
realize that shopping local isn’t just
important for food and drinks, but
for retail as well.
Q: How do you exude pride every
day?
CR: I run a business where
everyone is welcome. We get a lot
of visitors, and I know that is partly
because we are in Boystown, in
addition to being close to Wrigley
Field. I want every person who
walks through the doors to leave
feeling like they had a positive
experience. I take pride in that. If
you are getting married, we are
happy for you and enjoy being part
of setting the tone for your wedding
day with an invitation that reflects
your day and personal style.
Q: Will you tell the readers about
your family?
CR: I’ve have been married for 18
years. I have two kids, a daughter
Q: How long have you been an SSA who is 15 and a son who is 12. Our
Commissioner?
new puppy, Sammy, is now our
38
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
store dog and greets everyone, but
her favorite daily visitor is Jose, our
UPS driver (he brings her treats).
We live in Lincoln Park, but a lot of
our life is in Lakeview – from school
to my business. I am originally from
Montreal. I came here for business
school and never left.
Q: Do you enjoy being part of the
Soup Walk (part of our annual Frost
Fest)?
CR: I think it’s a great idea, giving
people an opportunity to get
outside in the winter. This year,
thankfully, the weather was
amazing. The year prior was chilly,
but we still saw a lot of new faces.
It is a really fun day for us to be part
of an event that is geared for
everyone, including families.
MN: What is something people
don’t know about you?
CR: I’m the daughter of the Hot
Dog King of Montreal! Even there,
we don’t put ketchup on our hot
dogs.
NoteworthyNotes, 3629 N.
Halsted Street and online at
www.noteworthynotes.com
TRANSGENDER
GRAB HOLLY
Vote for
Sassy Pants!
By Holly Maholm
This past Saturday, I visited my
favorite gay bar, where I went in and
headed to my favorite booth in the
back. Unfortunately, I saw the booth
was already occupied, but despite
this unforeseen setback, I had a most
rewarding experience, which I will tell
you about.
Already ensconced in the booth
was a fluorescent pink unicorn!
Somewhat smaller than a proper
“horse,” but larger than a mere pony,
the animal was as colorful as she was
exotic. (Yes, I looked around quickly
and verified it was a filly.)
She was, as I say, bright pink in
color, and she had a long and lovely
jet-black mane and tail. The irises of
her eyes were a vivid -green and her
lashes were lush and coquettish. And
I must not forget the single ivorycolored horn that graced her
forehead, an embellishment which I
soon learned contributed materially to
her frequent, compulsive efforts to
seek out others of her kind who are
likewise blessed with an urgent and
irresistible urge to propagate the
species (the species, in this case,
being “Unicornicus slutti”).
I walked up to the booth and
prepared to introduce myself. I was
momentarily distracted by the halfdozen or so posters tacked on the
wall around the booth. Each showed
42
GRAB Magazine
a flattering head-and-forelegs photo
of the very unicorn that stood before
me, and each poster bore the words
“Vote For Sassy Pants!” Thus, I
ventured to introduce myself, “Hi,
my name is Holly. You must be
Sassy Pants.”
We were soon deep in
conversation, and though I will not
be able to repeat everything we
discussed, I can tell you we quickly
got to know one another quite well. I
found her to be cheerful, pleasant
and engaging and, in only a short
time, I began to think of her as a
friend. Then being prompted by the
posters that surrounded us, I asked
her to explain. Here is what she said:
“Oh, I will be happy to tell you about
my campaign!” she enthused. “As
you can see … I’m running for
Pope!”(I must have looked shocked,
because she rushed to elaborate.)
“The fact is, the current Pope is 79
years old, and – without being too
ghoulish about it – we cannot expect
him to go on being Pope for too
awfully much longer. At some point
they will need to elect a new Pope,
and I have decided to throw my hat in
the ring! And by starting my
campaign early, I hope to get
everyone used to the idea of me – a
big pink unicorn – serving as Pope!
“Here in this country, black
people have for many years been an
important voting group in the
Democratic Party, so finally, a
representative of that minority was
chosen as the party’s Presidential
candidate – and he won. The same
thing applies to me: If
they are only going to
choose the new Pope
from the same small
group of rigid, ultraconservative old men,
they will just keep
getting the same sort
of Pope they always
get. Whereas if I – a
unicorn – run for that
office, we unicorns will
(before long, I hope) be
considered fullyqualified to serve, and
at some point in the
future, a unicorn will
be elected Pope!
“When that
happens – and if I am
the one elected – you
can be sure that all
members of the
LGBTU community will
September 6, 2016
finally be granted full equality in the
Catholic Church. It just seems … the
way things are going now, a unicorn
will be elected Pope before an
ordinary ‘woman’ is even allowed to
serve as a priest. Why this is I cannot
understand, but then there are a lot of
things about the Catholic Church that
my poor little unicorn-brain cannot
figure out.
“For example, we know every
new Pope is elected from that small
group of Cardinals – every one of
them male, and every one of whom is
supposed to be both ‘straight’ and
‘celibate.’ But who really checks on
this? The current Pope even said
there is a large and influential minority
of church officials who are gay. So
when you think about it, it wouldn’t
be impossible for one of those gay
Cardinals to be elected Pope. (Maybe
they already had one, but we just
don’t know.)
“So how is it that a gay man –
who Church Doctrine says is not
allowed to receive Communion, or
become a priest, or celebrate Mass –
could be elected Pope (!) while all
those people who were born with a
uterus (‘women’) cannot hold any sort
of office in the Church – no matter
how loving and forgiving they may
be?”
At that, Sassy Pants indicated
she needed to go to the Ladies Room
and so rushed off in that direction.
(To be continued)
Holly Maholm is a transgender
woman living in Cleveland, Ohio.
Look for Holly’s up-coming book
Brave in Leather, or Miss Sissy
Whip… rescues the Queen of the
Fairies from Impending Doom! Other
articles by Holly can be found at
www.hollymaholm.com. Photos By
Anthony Meade
44
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
45
NEWS
ARTS ALLIANCE ILLINOIS
NAMES CLAIRE RICE AS
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Claire Rice, a nationallyrecognized leader with expertise in
the areas of arts policy, datainformed decision-making, and
organizational design, has been
named Executive Director of Arts
Alliance Illinois.
“Claire is a collaborative and
strategic leader with a deep
understanding of the opportunities
and challenges facing our sector
here in Illinois,” said Kassie Davis,
Board Chair of Arts Alliance Illinois.
“With Claire on board, we are
confident that the Alliance will
remain a strong and vocal advocate
for the arts statewide.” Rice brings over 18 years of
professional experience in non-profit
and corporate sectors, largely
focused on arts education,
community engagement, and
cultural ecosystems, to Arts Alliance
Illinois. Since 2012, Rice has built
capacity and resources for cultural
ecosystems around the country as
National Program Director of
Harvard University’s Sustain Arts
Project, a cultural data, research,
and policy initiative.
Prior to her role with Sustain
Arts, she held several roles with the
University Musical Society (UMS) of
the University of Michigan, including
program development and
implementation of over 100 annual
educational and social events as
Interim Director of Education and
Audience Development, project
management of the Royal
Shakespeare Company residency,
and coordination of large-scale
productions including over 400
performers. Throughout her time
with UMS, she built and sustained
relationships with artists, students,
educators, and arts and community
organizations locally and nationally.
Rice holds a Master’s in Public
Administration from Harvard
University’s John F. Kennedy School
of Government. Early in her career,
she served over 200 government
clients in a consulting practice,
developing strategy, organizational
design, and business processes for
offices in the US Department of
Treasury and US Department of
Housing and Urban Development. 46
GRAB Magazine
“I’m thrilled for this opportunity to
lead Arts Alliance Illinois, as we look
to the future of the arts sector and
how our field can more meaningfully
engage and support vibrant
communities around the state,” Rice
said. “I look forward to working with
the board and other key
stakeholders to continue to expand
the impact and relevance of this
critical organization, putting the arts
at the center of critical
conversations about the
development of Illinois.”
Rice was selected following a
highly competitive nationwide
search conducted by The
Himmelfarb Group, chaired by
Jason Palmquist, Vice Chair of the
Board of Arts Alliance Illinois. Rice’s
service to the creative sector
includes serving as a frequent grant
panelist and conference speaker
and currently, as Board Chair of
Blair Thomas & Co. She was also
selected as an author for 20 Under
40, an arts leadership book, in
December 2010. She will join Arts
Alliance Illinois full-time on
September 19th, 2016.
For more information visit
www.artsalliance.org
CAMPUS PRIDE RELEASES
NEW SHAME LIST WITH
“THE ABSOLUTE WORST
CAMPUSES FOR LGBTQ
YOUTH” IN THE NATION
Charlotte, NC: Campus Pride
released its 2016 “Shame List,”
highlighting for the first time a
national list of “The Absolute Worst
Campuses for LGBTQ Youth.” The
national listing includes 102
campuses that openly discriminate
against LGBTQ youth in policies,
programs and practices as
documented on the site listing. Find the detailed list online at
CampusPride.org/ShameList
“Most people are shocked when
they learn that there are college
campuses still today that openly
discriminate against LGBTQ youth.
It is an unspoken secret in higher
education, how they use religion as
a tool for cowardice and
discrimination,” said Shane
Windmeyer, Executive Director of
Campus Pride. “This lists uncovers
the religion-based bigotry that is
harmful and perpetuated against
LGBTQ youth on these campuses,”
continued Windmeyer.
The Shame List was first
published online December 1, 2015
as a way to highlight fifty-seven
campuses who had received or
requested Title IX exemptions to
freely and openly discriminate
against LGBTQ youth. At that time,
the campuses applying for these
September 6, 2016
discriminatory waivers did so
privately. It was not public
information. According to Campus
Pride, often times even faculty, staff
and students did not know.
“I attended Westmont College
in California. While they have not
applied for a Title IX waiver, it is
clear that their past and current
policies and practices are antiLGBTQ,” said Donald
Scherschligt, a Campus Organizer
working on this project with Campus
Pride. “Nobody should have to live
my experience. I hope this listing will
help colleges like Westmont realize
the future is one of inclusion,
especially within higher education. We need to call out these shameful
acts.”
Since then the United States
Department of Education has
published online the letters of
campuses related to Title IX
exemptions. Campus Pride spent
the last six months compiling a
database and researching all public
records related to anti-LGBTQ
policies, programs and practices at
these campuses. The criterion to be
the “absolute worst” campus
includes either of the following: 1)
Received and/or applied for a Title
IX exemption to discriminate against
LGBTQ youth and/or 2)
Demonstrated past history and track
record of anti-LGBTQ actions,
programs and practices. “Ultimately these campuses are
dangerous for vulnerable LGBTQ
youth and others. All families and
youth deserve to know this
information – and so do
corporations who do business with
these campuses – from those who
hire and recruit, vendors who
contract food service, sell books,
make donations and in any other
way provides goods or services to a
college or university,” Windmeyer
said.
This is the first-time Campus
Pride has released a listing of the
worst anti-LGBTQ campuses across
the country. Every year Campus
Pride releases a “Best of the Best”
listing highlighting college campuses
with the most inclusive LGBTQfriendly policies, programs and
practices. The 2016 Best of the
Best list can be found online at
CampusPride.org/
CampusPrideTopCampuses. The
full listing of 250+ LGBTQ-friendly
campuses can be found online at
CampusPrideIndex.org
“If your values and religious
belief system include bigotry or
discrimination toward any group of
people, put it on your Admission
brochure. Otherwise Campus Pride
will do it for you,” Windmeyer
concluded.
The Shame List can be found
online at CampusPride.org/
ShameList The listing will be
updated annually. Jennifer Knapp Joins Forces
Once Again With Pledge
Music For New Record
MUSIC
Nathan Sykes Releases New
Single "GIVE IT UP"
Featuring G-EAZY Music furthers the conversation
about the importance believing in
one's own story, whatever that may
be.
To pre-order the record, visit:
www.pledgemusic.com/
newjenniferknapp.
PARRI$ launches music
career / "Nasty" music video
premieres / Debut EP out
October 17
It's official - legions of Nathan
Sykes' fans can celebrate the
iTunes release of his single "Give It
Up," featuring rapper G-Eazy. The
track is available on streaming
partners and is the latest single
from Nathan's eagerly anticipated
debut album, due for release this
fall via Global / Def Jam. Following sold out tours in the
UK, and his debut solo show at
New York's Gramercy Theatre,
which sold out in under ten
minutes, Nathan will be hitting the
road supporting Def Jam
sensation Alessia Cara on her
headlining 21-city U.S. tour,
beginning September 29th at The
Fillmore in Silver Springs, MD. The
one month tour, with shows at
prestigious venues including
Boston's Orpheum Theatre, The
Wiltern in Los Angeles,
Nashville's Ryman Auditorium, and
the Jackie Gleason Theater in
Miami Beach, will wrap up at Hard
Rock Live in Orlando on October
29th. A complete list of tour dates
is below.
Written and produced by the
likes of Diane Warren, Harmony
Samuels, Ldn Noise and
Babyface, Nathan's debut album
includes fan favorite "More Than
You'll Ever Know," in addition to
"Kiss Me Quick" and "Over And
Over Again," both of which hit
number 1 on the Billboard Dance
Club charts. "I'm so proud of this
album, it's time people got to know
100% of me, rather than 20% of the
Wanted," Sykes states. With People
Magazine dubbing him 'The Voice'
in this years 'Ones To Watch' and
stunning TV Performances on the
likes of X Factor, Kelly and Michael,
GMA and the Late Late Show with
James Corden, Nathan Sykes is
ready to conquer the industry as a
breath of fresh air in the form of a
groundbreaking pop artist.
Nathan Sykes on Tour with
Alessia Cara will be in Chicago
October 7 at the Chicago Theatre.
Download "Give it Up"
here: http://smarturl.it/
dNSGiveItUp 48
GRAB Magazine
Folk-rock singer/songwriter,
Jennifer Knapp who left her
Grammy-nominated Contemporary
Christian Music career behind for a
music career set on her own terms. Knapp's last campaign with
PledgeMusic was so successful,
she has decided to go with the
frontrunner of the direct-to-fan
platform once again for her next
release.
"So it's about time to start
talking about a new record! Due to
the fun and success of our last
PledgeMusic campaign, we're going
to do it again! I'm super excited
about it. And from the many
conversations I've had with you all
about it, sounds like you are excited
too!"
Knapp is also a strong voice for
the LGBT community, having come
put publicly as a lesbian who is still
a strong believer in her faith. Her
candid memoir Facing the Music:
My Story on Howard Books/Simon
and Schuster, released in 2014,
demonstrates Jennifer's
uncompromising willingness to be
open in the spotlight.
In 2015, Knapp toured
nationally in support of her 2014
release, Set Me Free. She
presented a musical TEDx talk on
LGBT issues of faith at University of
Nevada and performed at GLAAD's
Concert for Love and Acceptance
with Ty Herndon and Meghan
McCain. Knapp also wrote about
the Supreme Court's ruling on
marriage equality for The Huffington
Post.
Since coming out as a lesbian a noteworthy story that made her
the featured interview subject of an
episode of Larry King Live Jennifer's poised willingness to
speak on behalf of LGBT people of
faith has created a new role for her
as one of their foremost advocates.
In 2011, she launched the Inside
Out Faith series to engage this
social justice dialogue. At these
presentations, conducted mainly in
churches and universities, Jennifer
weaves her narrative with her music
while sharing candid revelations of
her experiences as a gay person of
faith. Her memoir Facing the
September 6, 2016
Over the last year Parris Goebel
- stylized PARRI$ - has been
working hard on her crossover
career path from sought-after
choreographer, to recording artist.
After working with some of the
biggest names within the music
realm (Rhianna, Janet Jackson,
Missy Elliot), plus directing,
choreographing and starring in
Justin Bieber's "Sorry" music video
(which is nominated for 3 VMAs,
including "Video of the Year"),
PARRI$ has been itching to show
the world it's not just all about her
art as a dancer. Her debut EP, Run
& Tell Your Friends, will be released
on October 17th, and she has
unveiled her self-directed music
video for hip-hop single "Nasty" via
The FADER.
Set from dusk till evening on a
farm in New Zealand, PARRI$
comes out of the gate strong, and
dominating with her entire dance
crew featured within the new music
video. The video's fierce energy is a
raw mixture of complex dance
moves visually paired with PARRI$'
memorable rhymes, and intriguing
style. Her unique talent combination
rings true to the "Nasty" song lyric "I'm the type you've never met
before." "Nasty" is the follow up single to
track "Friday." In one week, the
music video for "Friday" has already
garnered close to 500K views on
YouTube, and hit #1 on New
Zealand's Spotify Viral Chart. For more information visit
http://www.parrisgoebel.com
Visit Us online
www.GrabChicago.com
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
49
EVENTS
MACY’S PRESENTS
FASHION’S FRONT ROW
FEATURES HOTTEST FALL
FASHION
WITH TV HOST & FASHION
DESIGNER GIULIANA RANCIC
superstar Flo Rida. For more
information about Macy’s Presents
Fashion’s Front Row including a
listing of local events, Visit
macys.com/FrontRow.
CGMC SINGS DIVAS, DRAG,
AND BOY BANDS IN
UPCOMING 34th SEASON
Macy’s Presents Fashion’s
Front Row will take center stage as
a fabulous in-store celebration
bringing the fashion week
experience closer to fashionistas in
Chicago with Giuliana Rancic, who
will share style advice and reveal
Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus
her favorite looks for fall. The first
(CGMC) embarks on their 34th
100 customers to check-in at store
Season with a series of shows that
opening on September 15th will
are sure to enlighten and entertain.
have the chance to meet and take
According to Artistic Director James
a photo with Giuliana Rancic.
J. Morehead, the vision for the
Thursday, September 15 at
season is all about combining solo
5:30 p.m. Macy’s State Street – 3rd
singers with groups. The fall shows
Floor, Women’s Impulse Dept. 111
bring us music from individual
N. State Street, Chicago, IL 60602
composers and singers and the
Giuliana Rancic is a New York
second half of the season focuses
Times best-selling author and the
on the plural; girl groups and boy
winner of the Fan Favorite award at
bands. Even all of the titles are
the 2014 Daytime Emmy Awards,
mashups! “I am very excited to take
Giuliana Rancic is an entertainment
the chorus even further in their
journalist, author, fashion and
musical, performing, and outreach
beauty expert and television
capabilities,” said Morehead. “I
personality with over 3.5 million
want people to walk away singing a
devoted followers on Twitter and 10
song they knew and having learned
million followers across her social
a song they didn’t know.”
media platforms. She is the co-star
THE GREAT GAYMERICAN
of E!’s hugely popular Fashion
SONGBOOK
Police team and is on the red
The annual fall cabaret will
carpet for every mega-event in the
feature several performers with
entertainment industry (Oscars,
duets, solos, and some original
Grammy Awards, Golden Globes),
music. The show is a gay pun on
interviewing the stars and getting
the Great American Songbook and
the breaking Hollywood scoop as
honors the last 100 years of music
well as fashion tips, diet and fitness
by openly gay artists including
advice, travel tips and all things
Sondheim, Jennifer Knapp, Cole
pop culture.
Porter, Sam Smith, Melissa
Before the in-store celebration,
Etheridge, Lesley Gore, and more!
fans nationwide will receive their
“The cabaret will probably educate
own VIP Fashion Week experience
some on people they didn't know
as they tune-in to E! for the
were gay, lesbian, transgender,
broadcast of Macy’s Presents
queer or anywhere in between,”
Fashion’s Front Row on Thursday,
said Morehead. The show will be
September 15th at 8 p.m. ET
performed at: Mayslake Peabody
(check local listings). The
Estate - Oak Brook, IL Friday,
broadcast hosted by E!’s Giuliana
September 16, 2016 at 7:30pm
Rancic and Brad Goreski, will
and the Uptown Underground include highlights from the live
Chicago, IL Saturday, September
show at the Theater at Madison
17, 2016 at 8:00pm & 10:00pm
Square Garden® in New York City
HOME FOR THE HOLIDIVAS
and will feature sensational
From musical theatre to pop
presentations of designs from
and even opera, this divalicious
I.N.C. International Concepts,
show is sure to rev up your holiday
Kenneth Cole, RACHEL Rachel
engines. Audiences can expect a
Roy, Ryan Seacrest Distinction,
few traditional songs, but the
Tallia, Tommy Hilfiger, and William
program will include several
Rast. The glamorous spectacle will
original holiday songs by our
also include special performances
favorite divas. “The range of style
from international pop sensation
will make it very inspiring,” said
Ariana Grande, as well as
50
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
Morehead. “It’s very glamorous,
glitzy...diva.” And we even have a
little treat in store...an actual diva!
Opera singer extraordinaire
Cynthia Clarey will grace the stage
to round out this holiday
experience. Performances will take
place at:
Harris Theater for Music & Dance Chicago, IL Friday, December 2,
2016 at 8:00pm and at the North
Shore Center for the Performing
Arts - Skokie, IL
Saturday, December 3, 2016 at
8:00pm
For a complete list of the 34th
Season and for Season
subscriptions visit www.cgmc.org. Single tickets for each show go on
sale approximately 60 days prior to
opening.
NEWTOWN WRITERS READ A
LIVE LIT, OPEN MIC EVENT
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 14,
7-9PM HOSTED BY CHUCK
KRAMER
The NewTown Writers will host
an open mic reading featuring
cutting-edge LGBTQ lit by
NewTown Writers as well as
authors appearing in the Off the
Rocks anthologies, These are
stories and poems which deeply
explore the contemporary American
experience. This is an Open Mic event for
all writers. Even non-members can
bring their work and share it from
the stage! Everyone's welcome but
if time becomes a factor, preference will be given to those in
the group or the anthologies.
Writers can sign up early by
email (southside6167@yahoo.
com) or in person the day of the
show at 6:30pm. Each writer can
read up to 3 poems or 8 minutes of
prose.
There is no cover charge or any
fee to attend or participate, so
please feel free to come out and
enjoy the work.
Updates on this event will be
posted on the NewTown Writers
facebook page (https://
www.facebook.com/search/top/?
q=newtownwriters).
Volumes Bookcafe 1474 N.
Milwaukee Avenue Chicago, Il has
a full selection of coffees and
pastries and also serves beer and
wine.
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
51
THEATER
Akvavit Theatre Presents “HAND IN HAND”
September 14 – October 16,
2016 at The Den Theatre
Akvavit Theatre will present
Swedish playwright Sofia
Fredén’s dark comedy Hand In
Interrobang Theatre Project
Presents “STILL”
September 29 – October 30,
2016 at The Athenaeum
Theatre
Interrobang Theatre Project opens its 2016-17 Season,
exploring “Flesh and Blood,”
The NEO-FUTURISTS Ask,
“Can you learn to believe?”
Premiere of Tif Harrison’s
Saturn Returns
October 13 – November 19
Hand, in a world premiere
translation by company
member Chad Eric Bergman and
directed by company member Breahan Eve Pautsch. Hand In
Hand will play September 14 –
October 16, 2016 at The Den
Theatre, 1333 N. Milwaukee Ave.
in Chicago.
In this madcap black comedy
from Sweden, six accidental
roommates struggle to find
money, love and – hardest of all –
their own apartment in Stockholm.
Each works hard
to manipulate the system in their
own ways, but all of them are
willing to go to extreme lengths to
find a place (or person) to call
home. They look for shelter
in the wilderness, the bedroom,
and, – in their most desperate
moments – the government. As
the characters lives spiral
hilariously and disastrously out of
control, they discover just how
painstakingly high the cost of
living really can be.
Hand In Hand features
company member Derik Iverson
with Scottie Caldwell, Kamille
Dawkins, Todd Michael
Kiech, Jae K. Renfrow and Johnard Washington.
For additional information,
visit www.akvavittheatre.org.
Tickets are currently available
at brownpapertickets.com.
with the Midwest premiere
drama “STILL” by Jen Silverman,
directed by Co-Artistic
Director Georgette Verdin,
playing September 29 – October
30, 2016 at The Athenaeum
Theatre (Studio 2), 2936 N.
Southport Ave. in Chicago. Winner
of the 2013 Yale Drama Series
Award, STILL is a profoundly
oblique journey through
womanhood, grief and the triumph
of saying goodbye.
Constantinople has been dead
for two days, but that's the least of
his worries. He has to find his
mother before it's too late, and his
already stiff body shuts down for
good. As he searches an
unfamiliar world filled with women
he doesn't understand, his
mother, Morgan must learn to
grieve the son she never knew.
Comments Director Georgette
Verdin, “Still, at its core, is about
the relentless bond between
mother and child. Morgan and
Constantinople long for each
other; for the little they've shared
and for everything they never will.
In this unexpected dark comedy,
Silverman blurs the lines between
life and death, bringing voice to a
topic rarely explored and proving
that the relationship between
‘Flesh and Blood’ isn't just for the
living.”
STILL will feature Interrobang
Theatre Project Company
Members Laura Berner
Taylor, Elana Elyce, Sarah Gise
and Matthew Nerber.
Tickets are currently available
at www.interrobangtheatre.org.
Six months after turning
29, Saturn Returns creator, Tif
Harrison, received a crash course
in loss. Her mother’s crosscountry move, the death of her
father and a break-up had
Harrison reaching into the corners
of the universe for anything that
would stand still. Saturn
Returns is a Neo-Futuristic
exploration that asks larger
existential questions about time,
patience and the vast expanse of
an unknowable universe. Tif
Harrison and the ensemble look
upward and outward, offering
observations on the silence and
solitude of space, on the
uncrossable distances between
celestial bodies and the intimacy
of standing next to somebody you
love. Saturn Returns examines
both the astronomical and
astrological implications of
Saturn’s solar orbit— a 29-year
journey— to observe various
dramatic changes that have
manifested in the lives of the
individuals on stage.
Saturn Returns, a part of The
Neo-Futurists new work
residency Neo-Lab, held open
workshops and showings for the
past year, culminating in a final
workshop performance at The
Neo-Futurist Kitchen: a microfestival on art and
performance. Writer and Creator
Harrison says, “Taking the time to
search for the core of the show,
while sharing our progress with
audiences along the way, has
helped us discover the new
questions. This project began
with, "Why do we look up?"
Spending over a year pondering,
the answers have led us to now
wonder, "Can you learn to
believe?" and "What do we
choose to believe in and what do
we dismiss?"
Tickets and information are
available at neofuturists.org or
773-275-5255.
The Neo-Futurists present the
world premiere of Neo-Futurist
Ensemble Member Tif
Harrison’s Saturn Returns, A
Neo-Lab production, supported by
The National Endowment for the
Arts, October 13 – November 19,
at The Neo-Futurarium, 5153 N.
Ashland. Saturn Returns is
created by Tif Harrison, directed
by Jen Ellison.
52
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
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HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN 312-252-0012
LAKEVIEW EAST CHAMBER
OF COMMERCE - 773-348-8608
LAMBA LEGAL - 312-663-4413
LESBIAN COMMUNITY CANCER
PROJECT (LCCP) 773-561-4662
NEW TOWN ALANO CLUB
773-529-0321
September 6, 2016
GRAB HELP
OAK PARK AREA LESBIAN AND
GAY ASSOCIATION • Oak Park, IL
708-557-3003
PARENTS, FAMILIES & FRIENDS
OF GAYS & LESBIANS (PFLAG) 773-472-3079
PRIDE CHICAGO (Pride Parade
Organizers) - 773-348-8243
QUARE SQUARE COLLECTIVE
(Nonprofit for queer artists of color)
www.quare2collective.org
RAINBOW SASH MOVEMENT
[email protected]
ST. JOHN’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH
3857 N. Kostner - 773-725-9026
TEST POSITIVE AWARE
NETWORK (TPAN) •
5050 N. Broadway - 773-989-9400
UNITY LUTHERN CHICAGO
1212 W. Balmoral - 773-878-4747
VITAL BRIDGES
5543 N Broadway • 773-271-5110
GRAB A LAWYER
PETER S. CLEARY - 708-361-6900
Attorney at Law, D.U.I.• Criminal
ROGER V. MCCAFFREY-BOSS
312-263-8800 - 33 N. Dearborn
Street #800
ERICKSON & OPPENHEIMER
773-935-3130 - 217 N. Jefferson
GRAB A MOP
CHESTNUT ORGANIZING &
CLEANING SERVICE 312-332-5575
FROGS ON STARS CLEANING
SERVICE - 773-271-3764
GRAB A VIDEO
BANANA VIDEO - 773-561-8322
4923 N. Clark
SPECIALTY VIDEO - 773-878-3434
5307 N. Clark
FIND
GRAB
MAGAZINE
ONLINE AT
WWW.GRABCHICAGO.COM
WWW.GRABCHICAGO.COM
WWW.GRABCHICAGO.COM
GRABBY REVIEWS
Drive Shaft
Ever have the hots for a mechanic? Co-workers
Sean Zevran really wants Tegan Zayne's ass, but
Zayne is going to have to suck some Zevran dick
first. Zevran fucks Zayne every which way
and Sunday, and the
next time I get my car
fixed I think I am
going to have a
chubby. Johnny V
walks in on co-worker
Ricky Decker rubbing
one out on his break,
and the good guy that
Johnny is he gets
down on his knees to
help out. Decker gives
a new definition of
lube job before he
fucks Johnny over the
hood of the car. Now
we have Boomer
Banks working under
the car and Bruno
Bernal can't wait to get some Banks dick in his
mouth! When Banks finally comes out from under
the car, Bernal better be ready because Banks
wants more than some sucking. Thank goodness
Bernal has one of the juiciest asses in porn because
the pounding he takes from Banks is amazing! Next
is Logan Moore who's a real ass of a customer...
let's just say Jimmy Durano takes it out on his ass. If
an auto mechanic has ever turned you on, this
movie is for you.
3.85 Stars!
mind... and it's saying 'oh shit I am going to have to
sit on that thing.' I will say that Taylor shot an
amazing amount of
cum on Conners' face.
Now it's time to see JJ
Knight's big dick (he
has a Grabby for it!)
and Skippy Baxter
(how the hell did he
pick the name
Skippy?). It's almost
funny because when
Baxter sees Knight's
dick for the first time he
just smiles. Knight is
kind enough to loosen
Baxter's hole before he
puts all ten inches up it.
Last but not least we
have Jimmy Durano
and Ryan Rose. I really enjoy watching Durano
pounding Rose's mouth with his big dick. And it's no
surprise when Durano starts munching on some
Rose ass because Durano is always the top (on film
at least!) and gives Rose one hell of a pounding. I
did not see "Ultra Sex" but I did see good sex.
3.75 Stars!
PORN
2016. Raging Stallion Studios
Directed by Tony DiMarco
Starring: Sean Zevran, Tegan Zayne, Johnny V,
Boomer Banks, Bruno Bernal, Jimmy Durano, Ricky
Decker and Logan Moore
Ultra Sex
2016. Falcon
Directed by Nick Foxx
Starring: Jacob Taylor, Sebastian Kross, Ryan
Rose, JJ Knight, Skippy Baxter, Jimmy Durano,
Derek Bolt and Josh Conners
Starting with Sebastian Kross and the beefy
Derek Bolt in matching camo jockstraps making out,
the way Kross is playing with Bolt's juicy ass you just
know what's going to happen. First the guys have to
take some time and suck on each other's dicks, and
when Kross starts eating Bolt's ass it's clear Kross
has some major pounding to do! Next up is Jacob
Taylor who is just a fucking muscle stud and Josh
Conners in the same matching camo jockstraps (I
think Falcon got a deal!). When Conners is sucking
on Taylor's thick cock you can almost read his
September 6, 2016
GRAB Magazine
55
GRAB A DRINK
16 @MOSPHERE • 773-784-1100
5
6
26
15
24
47
20
27
49
19
67
51
3
10
31
8
68
29
44
2
48
13
41
63
35
58
5355 N. Clark
2ND STORY BAR • 312-923-9536
157 E. Ohio
BATON SHOW LOUNGE
312-644-5269 • 436 N. Clark
BERLIN • 773-348-4975
954 W. Belmont
BIG CHICKS • 773-728-5511
5024 N. Sheridan
BOBBY LOVES • 773-525-1200
3729 N. Halsted
BRIANS SPEAKEASY
312-464-1400 • 440 N. State St.
CELL BLOCK • 773-665-8064
3702 N. Halsted
CHARLIES • 773-871-8887
3726 N. Broadway
CLOSET • 773-477-8533
3325 N. Broadway
CREW BAR • 773-784-CREW
4804 N. Broadway
ELIXIR ANDERSONVILLE
773-975-9244 1509 W. Balmoral
ELIXIR LOUNGE 773-975-9244
3452 N. Halsted
FANTASY NIGHTCLUB
773-325-2233 • 3641 N. Halsted
GRANVILLE ANVIL
773-973-0006 • 1137 W. Granville
HYDRATE • 773-975-9244
3458 N. Halsted
JACKHAMMER • 773-743-5772
6406 N. Clark
JEFFERY PUB • 773-363-8555
7041 S. Jeffery Blvd
L.J’s (Little Jims) • 773-871-6116
3501 N. Halsted
LUCKY HORSESHOE
773-404-3169 • 3169 N. Halsted
MANHANDLER • 773-871-3339
1948 N. Halsted
MARTYS MARTINI BAR •
773-561-6425 • 1511 W Balmoral
MARYS ATTIC •
773-784-6969 5400 N. Clark
MINI-BAR • 773-871-6227
3341 N. Halsted
PROGRESS • 773-697-9268
3359 N. Halsted
REPLAY • 773-975-9244
3439 N. Halsted
ROGERS PARK SOCIAL
6920 N. Glenwood
• 773-281-3355
34 ROSCOES
3356 N. Halsted
56
GRAB A DRINK
GRAB Magazine
• 773-348-1053
38 SCARLET
3320 N. Halsted
• 773-528-3253
1 SCOT’S
1829 W. Montrose
66 SEVEN • 872-206-2052
3206 N. Halsted
ON CLARK •
45 SHAKERS
773-327-5969 3160 N. Clark
39 SIDETRACK • 773-477-9189
3349 N. Halsted
52 SOFO Tap • 773-784-7636
4923 N. Clark
CALL • 773-334-2525
12 THE
1547 W. Bryn Mawr
23 THE NORTH END •
773-477-7999 • 3733 N. Halsted
7 TOUCHE • 773-465-7400
6412 N. Clark
62 TWISTED VINE • 773-388-0952
3530 N. Halsted
GRAB A BITE
21 F.O’MAHONY’S • 773-549-0226
3701 N. Broadway
MARY’S
14 HAMBURGER
773-784-6969 • 5400 N. Clark
CAFE
55 HORIZON
773-883-1565
3805 N. Broadway
KIT KAT LOUNGE & SUPPER
22 CLUB • 773-525-1111
3700 N. Halsted
Open Daily 5:30pm-2am
32 LARK • 773-348-9696
3441 N. Halsted
36 NOOKIES • 773-248-9888
3334 N. Halsted
ANDERSONVILLE
67 REPLAY
773-654-1369 • 5358 N. Clark
SOCIAL CLUB
65 REVIVAL
773-293-6435 • 1133 W. Granville
• 773-935-9663
43 WOOD
3335 N. Halsted
CULTURE
ON HALSTED
25 CENTER
3656 N Halsted • 773-472-6469
GERBER/HART LIBRARY
11 AND ARCHIVES •
6500 N. Clark 773-381-8030
ARCHIVES &
9 LEATHER
MUSEUM • 6418 N. Greenview
773-761-9200
GRAB SLEEP
BEST WESTERN PLUS
33 HAWTHORNE 773-244-3434
3434 N Broadway St
September 6, 2016
GRAB A TOWEL
53 BANANA VIDEO 773-561-8322
4923 N. Clark
17 MANSCOUNTRY BATHHOUSE
773-878-2069 • 5017 N. Clark
RAM BOOKSTORE &
28 ARCADE 773-525-9528
3511 N. Halsted
40 STEAMWORKS BATHHOUSE
773-929-6080 • 3246 N. Halsted
SUBURB BARS
BOXERS N’ BRIEFS •
55 Four Corners Ln
618-332-6141 (Centreville, IL)
CLUB KRAVE •
13126 WESTERN AVE
708-597-8379 (Blue Island, IL)
MANEUVERS •
118 E. JEFFERSON ST.
815-727-7069 (Joliet, IL)
MID CITY COCKTAIL/SUPPER •
124 Main Street
(West Chicago, IL)
PHOENIX •
1932 E. HIGGINS ROAD
847-258-3087 (Elk Grove, IL)
THE OFFICE •
513 E. State Street
815-965-0344 (Rockford, IL)
PICK UP GRAB IN
OTHER CITIES
CALIFORNIA
Street Bar - 760-320-1266
224 E. Arenas Road, Palm Springs
INDIANA
Gregs Indy- 317-638-8138
231 W 16th St, Indianapolis (Bar)
Talbott Street 317-931-1343
2145 N. Talbott St, Indianapolis (Dance)
MICHIGAN
Dunes Resort - 269-857-1401
333 Blue Star Highway, Douglas
FIVE 15 - 248-515-2551
515 S. Washington, Royal Oak (Bar)
MISSOURI (ST LOUIS)
ClubSt. Louis - 314-533-3666
2625 Samuel Shepard Dr (Bathhouse)
Erney’s 32 - 314-652-7195
4200 Manchester Ave (Bar)
Rehab Bar & Grill - 314-652-3700
4054 Choteau Ave (Bar)
WASHINGTON DC
DIK Bar - 202-328-0100
1637 17th Street NW
Annie’s Paramount Steakhouse 202-232-0395 1609 17th Street NW
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CLEANING SERVICES
CHESTNUT ORGANIZING &
CLEANING SERVICE 312-332-5575. We are a home and
office cleaning service. But more
importantly, we are an organizing/
cleaning service for people who
need that service. Often, cleaning
services don’t organize and
organizing services don’t clean, but
we can do both at the same time!
Please visit us for more information
and “before” and “after” photos.
www.ChestnutCleaning.com
and call today 312-332-5575.
STARK NAKED MALE Housecleaner 45 year old white male, full
head of straight brown hair, blue
eyes, weight proportionate to height,
completely smooth in the genital/
anal area due to the hair having been
permanently laser removed. I will do
a very thorough job for you, and give
those floors, area rugs and runners
lots of TLC down on my hands and
knees. Call me at 708-280-8022
CONTRACTOR
ALL INTERIOR & Exterior home
remodeling & handyman service.
Bathrooms, kitchens, basements,
siding, roofing, gutters, painting,
drywall, tuckpointing, brick
work ,framing plumbing , electric
Etc. Call Sean 773-908-9054 or
[email protected]
CONTRACTOR
BODYWORK
GREAT CHICAGO
CARPENTRY offers you custom
finish carpentry, all trim and
millwork install ations, expert door
replacement and installations. Let
me create your custom cabinets
and built-ins to maximize your
storage space. My customers are
people like you who enjoy
the satisfaction of real wood
craftsmanship in their homes
Check out my facebook page !!
https://www.facebook.com/GreatChicago-Carpentry-56897498233/
timeline Call Mitch at
773-350-3850.
PILAS' GO4MEN PARADISE
Rent Me Service! Versatile,
Youthful, Energetic, Affectionate!
Strong Healing Hands! Relaxing,
Refreshing, Indulging! 10 yrs. of
excellence! Outcalls-Hotel, Motel,
Private Home! Credit Cards
Accepted! Details At:
HELP WANTED
STYLIST FOR CRAM
FASHION Join Chicago’s Premier
Men’s Boutique: Cram Fashion is
accepting applications for energetic,
determined, and fashionable
candidates who have an eye for
fashion and knowledge of current
trends, must have weekend, evening,
and some holiday availability, and a
minimum of 2 years retail/
customer service experience or
coursework in the retail
management/fashion business fields
are preferred. Opportunity for
growth is available within the
company. Please e-mail your cover
letter and resume to
[email protected]
http://tinyurl.com/gnlmmde
By Appt. (Call or Text)
773-991-8728
GET RUBBED THE RIGHT
way Straight, (has girlfriend) 38yr.
old, masculine, good looking, hairy
male stud. Seeks men of all kind.
Gives extra-erotic massage, thats
skillful and playful. I like to have
fun, and being adventurous.Expert
in the art-of-touch, lets discover
each other in ecstacy! In my home
or yours. 1 hour+ in/80.00 out/
95.00 Call 708-945-4940
MASSAGE
SUMMER SPECIAL: 2 hour
massage Head to toe in Rogers
Pk. Deep Tissue/Reflexology,
reserved parking. $75, thats right!
Please call Brian 847- EDUCARE. Gratuities accepted and
appreciated.
MASSAGE THERAPY IN
PALATINE I have 25 years
experience in the industry. $60
per hour. Call 847-202-3234 or
Cell: 630-542-8657 for an appt. MALE DANCERS WANTED;
The Lucky Horseshoe Lounge 3169
N. Halsted. Open Auditions every
GRAB A MASSAGE: Improve
Tuesday at 7pm. 21+ I.D. Required. your mind, body & soul with a 45
minute Swedish Massage for $45.
Relax & unwind with the sounds
STEAMWORKS - Come work at
and aromas of the East by a
the hottest club in town.
Licensed Massage Therapist
Steamworks is accepting
LMT, NCTMB, AMTA
applications for all positions and
Member. Flashes Hair &
shifts. Stop by and fill out an
Bodywork, 3740 N. Broadway
application at 3246 N. Halsted.
773-472-3355. Appointments
please.
TRAVEL
DUNES RESORT - Saugatuck,
Michigan Just a short 2 hour drive
from Chicago, Check out
www.DunesResort.com or call
today 269-857-1401 and be sure to
tell them GRAB sent you.
FLAMINGO RESORT, ST.
PETERSBURG Florida's largest
GLBT resort features 120 rooms, 6
unique bars, restaurant, large pool,
and minutes from beaches. Call
727-321-5000.
58
GRAB Magazine
September 6, 2016
Place your ad in this
section for as little as
$15 an Issue,
call today
773-857-2262
or email us
[email protected]