SO, IS IT ANY GOOD?

SO, IS IT ANY GOOD?
UMM is your friend. We here
at the magazine want you
to value our opinions and
look to us when you need
guidance. Month after month,
we will continue to sit around,
listening to music, watching
movies and playing video
games, just to make sure you
can have the most nformed
reviews around. Don’t bother
thanking us; we were going to
be doing all of this anyway. It
sure beats working.
REVIEWS - MUSIC
MUSIC
REVIEWS
By Rob Brown
So … I’ve been thinking lately
that we here at UMM should
drop a letter from our name.
Maybe call ourselves UM, or
maybe even just MM. I mean,
really, one of those solitary
letters is getting between us
and our fans. Which reminds
me - if you need an extra
letter for anything, Sean
Combs freed up some ‘P’ for
you. Diddy? Yes, he really did.
It’s the end of the year, for
you guys at least. To let you
in on a journalistic secret,
it’s the end of September for
me at the time of this writing,
so I figured, hell, let’s take a
stab in the dark and write a
year-end ‘Best of’ list. Here’s
hoping nothing decent comes
out after I write this.
So, here are a bunch of
albums that I think topped
the list this year in terms of
originality, quality and overall
greatness. Enjoy and happy
holidays!
Fiona Apple
Extraordinary Machine
Sony Music
V2
Ever been angry, yet serene,
all at the same time? Elevator
displays that emotion quite
cleverly, weaving some very
strong lyrics through delicate
deliverance, creating a very
strong album that tops my
list this year. From the catchy
and intriguing ‘Goodnight
Goodnight’ to the downright
ear-candy-licious ‘You Owe
Me An IOU’, this album delivers
the absolute best from start to
finish.
Long story short: Fiona Apple
makes a CD (2003), Label says
“thanks for the shelf fodder”
(also 2003), fans get leaked
album and spread it like
wildfire (2004/2005), Label
realizes money can be made,
releases album (2005), this
review says if it weren’t for Hot
Hot Heat’s … well … heat, this
would easily be the album of
the year (2005).
Once again, Jack and Meg
White have gone to the far
edges of the musical spectrum
to create a stellar album that
simply dazzles. Some will pass
them off as an experimental
garage band that is riding
the wave, but this album truly
shows how diverse the band
can be, giving them many
options to continue their
success in the future.
Sire Records c/o Warner Music
92
White Stripes
Get Behind Me Satan
Hot Hot Heat
Elevator
WINTER 2005 • UMM.CA
System Of A Down
Mesmerize
Sony Music
The Game
The Documentary
Aftermath Records
Stars
Set Yourself On Fire
If you weren’t cool enough to
pick up the last issue of UMM
to know what I thought of this
album, you aren’t cool enough
to know how good this album is
either. But it’s my job to tell you
… so I’ll just say these words:
melodic, screaming, political,
socks, amazing, gouda,
astounding, boobies. Purple
monkey dishwasher. BUY THIS
ALBUM!
Instructions: Grab a large
pot. Throw in some gin and
juice, some blunts and bowls,
an array of guest artists and
producers and one deftly
skilled lyricist. Simmer and
stir occasionally to bring
out the full flavour of all the
ingredients. Remove from pot,
sip gin and juice, spark up the
blunts and bowls and throw the
remaining items into your CD
player and be amazed by one
of the best Hip Hop albums
released in awhile.
Picture yourself out for a walk
on a brisk Winter day. It’s
cold, you’ve been walking for
hours and you just need to sit
down and gather some heat.
You find a nice little coffee
shop with warm people and
a warm atmosphere. The hot
chocolate you get soothes
your weary soul and you feel
relaxed and awake to the world
yet again. This album is that
feeling.
Arts and Crafts
The Arcade Fire
The Arcade Fire
Merge Records
This is the perfect example of
the little guys making it in the
big leagues. Based off a small
label, the band totally hit it big
through word of mouth and a
strong promotional campaign
dominating the airwaves. Of
course, an absolutely stellar
album helped the cause. A
totally different modern-rock
sound than what has been
making the rounds lately, but
it creates such a chillaxin’
atmosphere that you just can’t
get enough of it. Well done
guys!
Mindless Self Indulgence
You’ll Rebel to Anything
Metropolis Records
This album is what I look for
in a woman – fast, fresh and
able to make me scream. For
some, it takes about as much
time to acquire a taste for MSI
as it does to acquire a taste
for Buckley’s cough syrup, but
for the others that can handle
the brashness of it, this is
definitely an album to add to
your collection. And hey, as a
bonus, it takes about as much
time to listen to this album as
it takes George Bush to say
“nuclear physicist” properly
(estimated time; 30 minutes).
REVIEWS - DVD’S
DVD
REVIEWS
By Anthony Morizio
Chick Flick
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
My choice for chick flick is Mr. &
Mrs. Smith. Brad Pitt and Angelina
Jolie are Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a
regular average married couple
with more than just skeletons in
their closets. They are assassins
for hire, but they hide it from each
other, until they are
hired to kill each other. Let the cat
and mouse game begin, while one
misses the other, there are bombs
and lights and so much non-stop
action that you’ll be glued to your
seat. Add Vince Vaughan for a bit of
comic color and the hit will present
itself.
Television
Undiscovered
White Shadow: Season 1
Ken Howard plays Ken Reeves, pro
basketball player who suffers a
serious knee injury and is forced
to quit basketball. A friend offers
Ken some sage advice, “Those that
can, do. Those that can’t, teach”
and gives him the chance to teach
basketball at an inner-city high
school where he is the principal. Ken
accepts and a show is born, talk
about white men can’t jump! A white
coach with a black basketball team.
“White Shadow: Season 1” finally
comes to DVD.
Undeclared
This is a great show, cancelled too
early. Undeclared tells the story
of Steven Karp and his dorm mates
during their first year of college. It’s
funny enough to make you laugh
out loud, and engaging enough
to keep you watching the whole
season in one sitting. This was
created by Judd Apatow, known for
his work on Freaks and Geeks and
last summer’s best comedy The 40
year old Virgin. There are great
cameos here by Adam Sandler, Will
Farrell, Ben Stiller, Amy Pohler and
Fred Willard. The four disc set is
comprehensive, adding extra scenes
and commentaries to almost all the
episodes. If I have any complaints,
it would be that they’re presented in
the order that they were filmed, not
broadcast. From one episode to the
next, continuity can get skewed. But
so was my first year of college…
C It’s basketball, but basketball with
drama thrown in. $54.98 CDN
Rating A- (was handed in late)
$59.95 CDN Dreamworks
As far as chick flicks go, the ladies
will watch this for Angelina kicking
Pitt’s ass. $43.98 CDN
The Man Movie
The Warriors
Take nine tough guys, put them in a
tough city, blame them for a crime
they didn’t commit, let them run wild
while being chased by hundreds of
guys with bats and chains, mix it all
up and you have the greatest gang
movie ever made, The Warriors.
This ultimate director’s cut features
the original movie cut with a comic
book look to it. It also includes four
featurettes about the movie, actors
and script. If you’ve wondered what
happened to them? Look no further,
there are cast interviews. This one is
definitely for the boys.
A++ This movie shaped my life, I
wanted to be Ajax. Even the Popsicle
line still holds up today. $21.99 CDN
94
WINTER 2005 • UMM.CA
UBI SOFT SQUEEZES THE TRIGGER IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS
GAME
TIME
By Brad MacNeil
For this edition of Game Time,
we’re going to look at three
games from Montreal’s Ubi Soft.
Coincidentally all three are First
Person Shooters (FPS). If you find
yourself frustrated by your family
this holiday season, use these
games to release the tension.
Brothers in Arms:
Earned in Blood
Occasionally I play a game that I
know I should like. This is such a
game. It is beautiful in it’s re-creation
of WWII battle fields. It accurately
portrays the weaponry and lets you
view the situation from multiple
angles before sending your men into
the firefight. I appreciated the fact
that you can only fire one bullet at
a time, forcing you to choose your
shots more carefully. I know most
of you will really enjoy this game
but I could not get into it. There
are some issues with sound cutting
out, but the design of the game is
gorgeous. In the end, it just wasn’t
for me.
Rainbow Six: Lockdown
This game is great. Other reviewers
have said that is a step back for the
series, but I disagree. I admit that I
prefer an arcade feel over a realistic
simulation. As Ding Chavez, you
command your squad through a
variety of volatile, politically sensitive
scenarios. The game gives you a
variety of high tech devices, such
as heartbeat detectors and night
vision with which to take out the bad
guys. It also has a new feature where
you can take the sniper position and
clear out the path for your team.
This game feels less realistic than
other instalments, but more fun. As
someone who occasionally makes
boneheaded moves in these games,
I love it when my AI team mate reins
me in with a “Bad Move Sir”.
Farcry Instincts
Jack Carver is alone on an island,
surrounded by well trained
government soldiers. This sounds
like the beginning of a lot of games,
but this one lets you shoot your way
out, then use your sci-fi abilities to
bash someone over a tree.. Far
Cry is a well designed game, giving
you multiple options to overcome
every obstacle. There are vehicles,
multiple weapons, traps that can
be laid, stealth attacks and the fact
that you develop superpowers. The
game provides you with just enough
information to make its solution
frustrating and rewarding. Every
magazine has chosen this as one
of the top games of the year. We
agree.
UBISOFT GAMES TO
WATCH FOR:
King Kong, Prince of Persia 3