arielle bridal

The honeymoon:
a chance to bond
as a couple | T4
Who knew the
Reds could be so
engaging? | T6
A mismatched wedding
and reception make for an
unforgettable event > Inside
Photo courtesy of
Amy Cook Photography
The Courier
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T2
BR IDA L
THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
Couple collects mismatched vintage pieces for a memorable wedding reception
By JEANNIE WILEY WOLF
merchandising and product development. For the past four years, she’s
worked for Zulily in Columbus. Kaelan
VAN BUREN — Kaelan and Alyssa recently completed his degree in
Bell wanted to make their Sept. 6 wed- marine biology.
ding special.
Alyssa said she had no idea Kaelan
So they filled the reception, held in was about to pop the question when
the backyard of Bell’s parents in Van they visited her grandparents in AsheBuren, with elements they’d spent a ville, North Carolina for the July 4
year collecting. Mismatched chairs holiday last year.
“It’s like our favorite place to go,”
and vintage tablecloths lined the
tables, and guests dined on differing Kaelan said. “They live on this mounpieces of china and silverware they’d tain. There’s this lookout where we
found at flea markets and garage sales. always go, so I did it there.”
He proposed
It w as t he
at
sunset
and then
wedding of their
“We thought, why don’t
they watched firedreams, they said.
works.
“We wanted
we incorporate everything
“It was a comever ybody to
that we love. So it was
plete surprise,”
have an awesome
Alyssa said. “I
time. We wanted
like vintage antique
had no idea. I was
to entertain. We
farmer’s market. It was
oblivious.”
wanted people to
be like this is the
They began
awesome because then
coolest wedding
planning for their
we’ve been to,”
wedd i ng soon
we had a reason to buy all
said Kaelan.
after.
this stuff.”
It felt more
“We both have
a love for antiques
like a party than a
ALYSSA BELL
and anything old
reception, Alyssa
and vintage,” said
added.
“And that’s what we wanted. It Alyssa. “Like what do we do on Sunturned out so well. It was so much days? We go to the farmer’s market
and then hit up flea markets and go to
fun,” she said.
The couple, who are both 24, have antique stores. That’s just our thing.”
For the wedding, the couple
known each other since high school
when they worked together at a fast decided to focus on what they enjoy.
“We thought, why don’t we incorfood restaurant. They both graduated
in 2009, Kaelan from Van Buren and porate everything that we love. So
the former Alyssa Phillips from North it was like vintage antique farmer’s
market,” she said. “It was awesome
Baltimore.
They didn’t start dating until the because then we had a reason to buy
end of their sophomore year at Bowl- all this stuff.”
They started by purchasing chairs.
ing Green State University, where
“We had this idea of having misAlyssa earned a degree in apparel
STAFF WRITER
Photos provided to The Courier by AMY COOK PHOTOGRAPHY
WHEN KAELAN and Alyssa Bell planned their wedding, they spent a year collecting antiques and knick knacks
to give their special day a quaint, farmers market-style feel. They even got married in the same one-room brick
church in Cygnet where five generations of Alyssa’s family were wed.
matched chairs at all the tables,” said
Kaelan. “We started going to auctions.
I had only been to a few auctions and
then we started going to auctions
every weekend.”
“We kind of got addicted to them,”
said Alyssa.
Their travels took them to sales
around Findlay and Columbus, and
even into Michigan.
“So my job on the weekends was
just to go and fit as many chairs as I
could in my dad’s truck.
“I put a lot of miles on my dad’s
truck,” Kaelan said.
The couple purchased about 150
chairs, averaging about $3 each.
“When you rent them, you’re
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Sat. 9:30-2:30. Evenings by appointment
www.DecorationsPlusOnline.com
paying sometimes $6 to get a nice
folding chair with padding, so it made
sense to buy them,” Alyssa said.
The couple purchased all styles
of dining room chairs ranging from
wooden to upholstered to those with
cane seats, filling in the remaining
See VINTAGE, Page T3
BR IDA L
THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
Vintage
Continued from page T2
100 seats they needed with wooden
folding chairs.
“Literally any kind of chair that
was cool, we wanted,” Kaelan said.
Kaelan’s parents offered to store
the chairs in their barn.
“We wanted to keep it relatively
cheap, too,” Kaelan said. “And I feel
like we did it the cheapest way we
possibly could
because weddings can get
expensive.”
“I think the
average is like
$ 25,0 0 0 or
something.
I t ’s n u t s ,”
Alyssa said.
T hey c ut
corners wherever they could.
“We did the
backyard. We
did everything
we could on
our own. That
was our goal
which was OK
b e c aus e we
love doing that
anyway,” said
Kaelan.
“We spent a year doing everything
we loved, and it was awesome,” Alyssa
said.
“That was almost as fun as the
actual wedding, getting ready for it,”
he said.
They also bought mismatched
plates and silverware, hitting up
garage sales and flea markets.
“If they looked old, they had flowers on them or something, we got
them,” Alyssa said.
Vintage tablecloths were layered
one after another all the way down the
long rows of tables at their reception.
For centerpieces, they used random
vintage items, like
tea cups and
cracker tins
filled with
flowfresh flow
ers.
“Nothi
n
g
matched.
That was
kind of our
t h i n g ,” s a i d
Alyssa.
“A n d w e
d id n’t h ave
colors,” said
Kaelan.
Alyssa
said people
kept asking
about their
wedding colors.
“We’re like, we don’t really have
any,” she said.
“We had lots of them, actually, all
of them,” said Kaelan.
The couple chose an unusual location for their wedding ceremony as
well. They were married in an old
one-room brick church in Cygnet that
has been closed for several years. The
building has special meaning; Alyssa
is the fifth generation of her family to
be married in the former Methodist
church.
“My great-great-great-grandparents got married there,” she said. “It
was cool we got to get married there.
It meant a lot.”
When guests got to the reception,
they found a boardwalk with lights,
farmers’ stands with fruits and vegetables, and even an old pickup truck. A
farm wagon, found by one of Kaelan’s
friends, served as a stage for the band.
“It was really laid back,” said
Alyssa, who changed into a less formal
dress for the reception.
A sign invited guests to kick off
their shoes and go barefoot.
“It was not formal at all,” Kaelan
said. “Everyone had a good time.”
Alyssa’s family raises hogs so
pulled pork with country fixings like
macaroni and cheese and green beans
were on the menu. There was also a
bar where guests could dress their
See VINTAGE, Page T5
T3
AT KAELAN and Alyssa’s backyard reception, mismatched chairs, china,
tableclothes and flatware (above) awaited guests who were treated to
a pulled pork meal with all the fixings. But even the most country folkstyle wedding wasn’t enough to withstand “the force;” small references
to the couple’s favorite movie, “Star Wars,” were apparent, even atop the
couple’s wedding cake (right).
YOUR VISION. YOUR STYLE. YOUR DAY.
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petals
by
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T4
BR IDA L
Try new foods,
be adventurous
and enjoy being
with each other
By SARA ARTHURS
STAFF WRITER
Wedding planning may occupy
much of a bride’s attention, but at the
same time there is also often planning
for what comes next: the honeymoon.
More than just a sightseeing excursion, it can be a chance for the newlyweds to bond as a couple.
Lindsay Dubocq and Kendall Persons got married June 6, and then
took a honeymoon to Portugal and
Spain. Lindsay Persons is a Findlay
native and Findlay High School graduate, now living in Atlanta.
The couple wanted to go somewhere neither of them had ever been
for their honeymoon.
“Both Kendall and I have traveled
a lot,” Lindsay Persons said.
But she’d never been to Portugal,
which was on her “bucket list.”
“And Kendall had always wanted
to go to Spain,” she said.
The planning itself happened relatively haphazardly.
“Typically I’m a very organized
and very planned-out person,” Persons said.
However, in addition to planning
the honeymoon, and planning the
wedding itself, she was also in the
middle of a career change. She said
Kendall was in charge of many of the
honeymoon decisions. They made
sure to figure out where they would
stay, and their transportation, but left
open the decisions on what sights to
see and activities to pursue.
Persons said their favorite lodging
was an Airbnb rental house, a thirdstory flat they stayed at in Lisbon. She
said it felt like a space they could claim
as their own.
The couple had some travel books
to help them decide what to do, but
also asked their host for suggestions,
Persons said.
Some friends had studied in Spain,
and they had gotten suggestions from
them, too. But some of the day-today decisions were made on the spot.
They would walk down a street and go
exploring, and find a restaurant that
looked interesting, and eat there.
Cities they visited included Lisbon
in Portugal and the Spanish cities of
Sevilla, Nerja and Madrid.
“We both agree that Lisbon was
our favorite city,” Persons said.
She said the city was very walkable, and quintessentially Europe,
with cobblestone roads. They spent
six days there, exploring Lisbon itself
as well as some of the surrounding
areas.
They enjoyed visiting Cabo da
Roca, Portugal , the westernmost part
of Europe. Persons said it featured
cliffs and a turquoise-blue ocean. They
went to a secluded beach, for which
there were no signs, and where they
encountered few other people.
In Seville, the couple visited a
large cathedral, and in Nerja, which
is on the Mediterranean Sea, they
went parasailing and ate “amazing
seafood.”
The couple spent two weeks in
Europe. Persons said they are generally frugal, but decided they were
willing to spend more, seeing as it
was their honeymoon. However, they
did find some relatively inexpensive
hotels.
“And we just had the best experience with them,” she said.
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THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
Photo provided by LINDSAY PERSONS
LINDSAY AND KENDALL Persons stopped to pose for a picture in the Plaza de Espana in Sevilla, Spain, on their
recent honeymoon. The couple wanted to be adventurous on the trip, and used some of the monetary wedding gifts
they received to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.
Persons said starting their married
life in a place where everyone spoke
a foreign language helped bond them
as a couple.
“It really made us connect more
as a team,” she said. “You really only
have each other to rely on.”
In addition, they didn’t have wireless Internet access everywhere, and
had to use maps. She said relying
less on technology, too, helped connect them.
Persons said her husband recommended not thinking twice about
“adventures.”
“We wanted to go somewhere that
maybe we won’t ever go back to,” she
said.
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414 S. Main St., Findlay
419-420-3602
She said in normal life, they would
never be able to take two weeks off
from work. Getting married and
starting a life together gives a couple
the chance to do something they had
always wanted to.
Their matron of honor gave them
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BR IDA L
THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
Vintage
support.
“We had so much support from
our family and neighbors and friends
who would just drop everything and
Continued from page T3
help us,” Kaelan said. “We tried to do
biscuits with honey and jam. Alyssa’s as much stuff as we could before. But
grandmother baked the four-tiered when it got to the week before, there
were things we hadn’t even thought
wedding cake.
“Everything was homemade,” she about. If we had not had that help, it
wouldn’t have been the same.”
said. “Everyone pitched in.”
Looking back,
The couple’s
the couple said
love of the movie,
“We tried to do as much
they enjoyed all
“Star Wars,” was
stuff as we could before.
the preparations
included in the
that went into
festivities. OrigiBut when it got to the
making their wednal action figures
ding day special.
week before, there were
of Princess Leia
“It went so
and Hans Solo
things we hadn’t even
fast,” said Alyssa.
were used as their
“ We
keep
cake toppers.
thought about. If we
saying that we
“People kept
had not had that help, it
had so much fun
giving toasts and
doing it, it needed
they kept saying,
wouldn’t have been the
to last longer, so
‘May the force be
every year we
same.”
with you.’ I didn’t
want to have a
realize that everyparty,” Kaelan
one knew that I
KAELAN BELL
said.
loved Star Wars
T he ne wlyso much,” Kaelan said.
The couple credited their parents, weds are moving to Mobile, Alabama,
Craig and Kathy Bell of Van Buren, where Alyssa has accepted a job with
and Jason and Laura Westgate of a flower nursery that works with the
North Baltimore, for their help and QVC shopping channel. Kaelan will be
looking for a job.
Together, the couple also hopes to
start an event rental business using
the items they bought for their own
wedding.
“We loved doing it so much. Our
wedding was kind of like a test run
honestly, and we learned how to do
things better,” Kaelan said.
“Weddings are so expensive. We
want to have people throw the weddings that they want and not have to
spend so much because for one day, it’s
nuts,” he said. “We can’t throw you a
formal wedding, but we can help you
do anything vintage.”
Wolf: 419-427-8419
[email protected]
T5
A CLOTHESLINE WAS draped in blankets, offering wedding guests the
opportunity to grab one, snuggle in and make themselves comfortable
(though due to the summer heat, there probably weren’t many takers).
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Photo provided to The Courier by AMY COOK PHOTOGRAPHY
AT THE RECEPTION, an old farm truck (above) acted as a table to hold
guests’ gifts for the couple, while homemade farmstands (below) offered
fresh fruit, vegetables, biscuits, honey and jams to those in attendance.
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T6
BR IDA L
THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
Bond
Arlington man pops the question at Reds game
By SARA ARTHURS
STAFF WRITER
It was a baseball game they’ll never
forget.
In August, Felicia Otte and Jon
Boyd got engaged at a Cincinnati
Reds game.
Boyd, of Arlington, won four tickets to the Reds versus Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game on Aug.
21 — and the opportunity to throw
out the first pitch — through a raffle
at Cooper Tire & Rubber Co., where
he works. The package he won also
included dinner, breakfast, a hotel
stay, a tour of the Great American
Ball Park and two personalized Cincinnati Reds jerseys. Boyd decided to
take Otte and two friends to the game.
Otte, of Bowling Green, had originally been going to throw the first
pitch.
“I chickened out,” she said.
So Boyd did it, then came off the
field, grabbed her hand and took her
over to the plate where the batters
warm up. Otte said she almost yelled
at him because everyone else was
going in the opposite direction. Then
Boyd got down on one knee, pulled
out a ring and asked her to marry him.
“I immediately started crying,”
Otte said.
Otte said she had originally been
told that Boyd had won two personalized jerseys, but when they went to
the company party at a hotel rooftop
they were only given one. She was disappointed not to get her jersey. Then,
after he proposed, one of the Reds’
mascots had waiting for her a jersey
with her future married name on it.
“I was surprised that he pulled that
off because he’s terrible at keeping
secrets,” Otte said.
Not surprisingly, Otte was a little
distracted during the game.
Top 2014 wedding statistics
• Average wedding cost: $31,213
(excludes honeymoon).
• Average spent on a wedding
dress: $1,357.
• Average marrying age: bride, 29;
groom, 31.
• Average number of guests: 136.
• Average number of bridesmaids:
4 to 5.
• Average number of groomsmen:
4 to 5.
• Most popular month to get
engaged: December (16 percent).
• Average length of engagement:
14 months.
Information from The Knot.
Provided to The Courier
JON BOYD (right) took advantage of a Cincinnati Reds game package
he won in a raffle sponsored by his employer, Cooper Tire & Rubber Co.
in August, using the occasion to propose to his girlfriend, Felicia Otte
(center). The two were engaged on Aug. 21 and plan to marry in October
2017.
“A lot of it was a little bit of a blur,”
she said.
But she said they had “great seats”
and a great package deal through
Cooper.
“We couldn’t have asked for a more
fun time,” she said.
After the game the couple watched
a fireworks display.
“We are planning it (the wedding)
for two years out, in October of 2017,”
Otte said.
The couple has been dating about
five years.
“Our first date was at Applebee’s
in Findlay,” Otte said.
They had known each other longer
than that, though, and kept running
into one another. They actually met
through a mutual friend on MySpace,
“so if you can imagine how long ago
that was ...,” she laughed.
Otte, 32, and Boyd, 30, have four
children between them.
The Reds lost that game 3 to 6.
But they did gain new long-term fans.
Otte said they hadn’t been devotedly
following the Cincinnati Reds before.
But from now on, they definitely plan
to do so.
Proceeds from the raffle benefited
the Cooper Centennial Scholarship
Fund.
Arthurs: 419-427-8494
[email protected]
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Continued from page T4
a monetary gift to spend on their honeymoon to do something special; they
used it to go parasailing in Nerja.
Sarah Rissler and Joel Crane got
married in May in Findlay and will be
taking a honeymoon this fall. Sarah
Crane is an Arcadia High School
graduate, now residing in Cincinnati.
She said she and her new husband
have both traveled a lot individually.
For their honeymoon, “we wanted to
choose somewhere that neither of us
had ever been,” she said.
As they were discussing it they
came up with the idea of Peru, and
will travel this fall to Machu Picchu,
a historic mountaintop city from the
Incan Empire.
Crane, too, said her husband did
much of the honeymoon planning as
she was planning the wedding. Joel
Crane has been to South America
before, but Sarah never has.
She is particularly looking forward
to a sunrise hike up to Machu Picchu.
The Peruvian government limits how
many people a day are allowed up the
mountain, in order to preserve the
site. However, the Cranes have signed
up with a tour group.
“We get early access,” she said.
The Cranes’ trip will be 10 days,
during which they will also visit the
cities Lima, Cusco and Puno.
Crane said planning the trip was
relatively easy. The hardest part was
finding flights to and from Peru.
“That, to me, was a lot harder,”
she said.
They considered several options
but found that it would take at least
three different flights, and in some
cases four. Flying out of Cincinnati,
the trip will take them a total of about
15 hours, with two layovers.
Crane said she speaks “just a very
little” Spanish, but the people in the
tour group will speak English.
“We’re really outdoorsy people, so
we’re just really looking forward to the
adventure and the nature aspects and
the beauty,” she said.
She said she is also looking forward
to “getting away from technology.”
Persons, too, said stepping away
from computers and cell phones
helped her and her new husband connect. Her advice to other couples planning their honeymoons?
“Just be present in every moment,”
she said. “We turned off our cell
phones. ... We shut the world out
because you only get this time exclusively together, really, once.”
Persons said many brides work
to slim down before their wedding,
but once on their honeymoon they
shouldn’t be afraid to try new foods.
“Just eat,” she said.
After all, traveling abroad will
give you the chance to taste things
you might not be able to elsewhere.
“We just ate whatever we wanted
whenever we wanted. ... Eat that
second croissant,” she said.
Arthurs: 419-427-8494
[email protected]
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THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
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BR IDA L
THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
T9
Formal or footloose?
Think versatility when choosing a destination wedding dress
By KIM COOK
ASSOCIATED PRESS
Getting married on a beach, mountaintop, remote villa or rustic rural
setting is a romantic ideal for many
brides.
But what does that mean for the
wedding dress?
Should you go formal or footloose?
Will your gown fit in your suitcase?
A bride having a “destination wedding” should think about versatility
when choosing a gown. She must be
“concerned about being comfortable,
more so than your typical bride. She
has to contend with weather and terrain, making her gown choice critical
to how at-ease she feels on her special
day,” says Lori Conley, senior buyer
for David’s Bridal.
Christine Pagulayan of Toronto
and her fiance, Ian McIntyre, jetted
to Costa Rica in 2013 for a resort
wedding.
“I had a (dress) style in mind:
strapless, low back, white with ruching. Initially, I thought about going
short, since we were going to get
married on a beach, but I then realized that even if it may be heavy or
sweaty, I wanted a real wedding dress.
So we found one that had a gorgeous
train, but it also had a bustle so I could
dance,” Pagulayan says.
Some dress trends for destination
brides:
Light fabrics and short hems
Many traveling brides favor lightweight, airy fabrics.
“Chiffon and organza are always
favorites. Full trains can be cumbersome if you’re navigating sand or
grass,” says Conley, of David’s.
“A lot of brides opt for the ease of
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a sweep train,” which just grazes the
floor.
Dav id’s destination-friendly
dresses include styles in full or tealength tulle, soft lace or chiffon,
Conley says.
Fabrics that travel well for brides
wanting a more structured gown
include silk gazar, georgette and
crepe, which are “lighter-weight versions of silk faille and Mikado,” says
Carrie Goldberg, associate fashion
editor for Martha Stewart Weddings.
Short styles, meanwhile, can be
fun, and have the added benefit of
showing off a pretty pair of shoes.
J. Crew’s Karina short dress, for
instance, has a flapper-esque fringe,
and is covered in corded lace.
Separates
“Tops and bottoms are not only
easier to pack, they allow for mixing
and matching fabric and fit to get a
silhouette that feels unique to your
personal style,” says Goldberg.
Separates work for any destination, she says: “A full organza skirt
may appeal to a bride getting married
on the beach; pairing it with a delicate
silk camisole suits the location. The
same skirt would suit a mountaintop
affair when paired with a fur bolero
or a fine knit.”
J.Crew’s Sloane poly-cotton long
skirt has a simple, draped profile; a
silk cami top embellished with beads,
crystals, sequins and paillettes in a
floral motif creates a dressy look,
albeit more relaxed than a form-fitting
gown.
At David’s Bridal, there’s the
crisp Mikado cropped top balanced
by a flowing, organza ball-gown skirt,
creating a modern silhouette.
Color
Let the venue inform your choice
of hue, Goldberg says.
“A sunset wedding in Napa pairs
beautifully with a blush gown, while
the colors of an Amalfi Coast wedding
may inspire the bride to opt for something blue.”
Versatility
For bridesmaids — or perhaps
even the bride — White House Black
Market has a clever option: a short or
long pull-on gown with a customizable
top. You can adjust the straps on the
“Genius” dress to make a halter, oneshoulder or cap-sleeved version. Easy
to pack, affordable and available in a
range of colors, these might be a good
option for a group of bridesmaids.
Footwear
Flats or wedges are ideal for beach
or garden: “The more surface area the
sole of your shoes have, the easier it
will be to walk,” says Conley.
Keep in mind that satin or grosgrain might get stained by grass or
sand.
Another option for beach brides is
“foot jewelry,” an accessory that does
away with the need for an actual shoe.
Fashioned of pearls, silks, rhinestones
and shells, these can easily be made to
complement the gown.
Style
If your wedding destination is, say,
a villa or castle in Europe, you might
want to go full-on princess with the
dress.
For wintry venues, think of a cream
coat trimmed with sparkle; sheer or
opaque long sleeves; an embroidered
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DAVE ABREAU PHOTOGRAPHY / via Associated Press
CHRISTINE PAGULAYAN is shown getting dressed for her 2013 wedding
to Neil McIntyre, in Sardinal, Costa Rica. Destination brides are often
advised to forego high heels for footwear that’s more sand or grass
friendly. “I wore beautiful satin white wedges that I swapped out for flip
flops at the reception,” she says.
bolero jacket; satin or silk gloves.
On your feet, satin pumps are classic but ivory suede boots might add
dash.
Transporting the dress
Pagulayan was able to stow her
gown on the plane in a special compartment for wedding dresses. Some
carriers might let you store your dress
in business class even if you’re flying
coach; check with the airline ahead
of time.
Experts recommend packing the
dress in a sturdy garment bag rather
than a box, so it can be stored more
places. Label the bag both inside and
out, and add a “Fragile” sticker. Arrive
early at the airport, as the dress bag
might require extra screening.
You can also ship the dress ahead
of time.
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BR IDA L
Author of ‘Stuff Every Groom
Should Know’ shares tips
By LEANNE ITALIE
the same place. Maybe the answer
won’t be yes,” San Juan said in an
interview.
If you want the proposal photographed or filmed, find a photographer or videographer willing to shoot
in secret to preserve the moment.
Also, consider going old school
and asking your partner’s parents
for permission to pop the question.
And never steal another couple’s
thunder. Proposing at the wedding of
a friend, relative or colleague is not
a good idea, he said.
for him to chip in, the interest won’t
be there,” Ley said.
Let him put that tool chest or
NEW YORK — Kate MacHugh George Foreman grill on the wedhas a fabulous fiance, except when it ding registry, or don suspenders or
comes to wedding planning.
wacky colored socks on the big day
“When I was a little girl I always if he so chooses, Ley suggests.
envisioned it as ‘my wedding,’ where
Above all, grooms can’t have their
I would make all the decisions and wedding wishes fulfilled if they don’t
my faceless groom would show up speak up, said Danielle Rothweiler, a Picking a tux
when I told him to in the suit that wedding and event planner in West
Do you even need one? TraditionI picked out and he paid for,” said Orange, New Jersey.
ally, they’re worn after 6 p.m. Mornthe Beachwood, New Jersey, social
“The No. 1 thing I always tell ing or afternoon weddings call for a
worker and bride
grooms is that they morning suit, usually dark gray.
to be.
M UST be vocal
Renting a tuxedo is cheaper and
“If he doesn’t feel
“Flash forward
when planning a ensures groomsmen will match, but
to now — my fiance
wedding,” she said. a custom tux is a nicer fit and worth
included, he won’t be,
has an opinion on
It’s been awhile the investment if a groom thinks he’ll
EV ERY T H I NG,”
and when it comes
since Eric San Juan wear it again, San Juan said.
M ac Hu g h s a id ,
was a groom. He’s
With arms down at the sides,
time for him to chip in,
e n d o r s i n g t h at
been married for 15 fingertips should reach the bottom
approach with this
years, but he wrote of the jacket, he said. Pants should
the interest won’t be
caveat: “He’s a huge
a new book aimed hit the tops of the shoes. Silk is the
there.”
procrastinator and
squarely at grooms: desired tux fabric for summer, while
doesn’t understand
“Stuff Every Groom cashmere, wool and flannel are poputhat planning a
- WEDDING BROKER
Should Know,” part lar for winter.
wedding takes a
KRISTEN LEY
of a series of handy
Rock the bowtie. It’s the classic
boatload of work,
m a n u a l s f r o m option. And don’t fear the cummertime and coordinaQuirk Books.
bund. Modern ‘bunds are sleeker and
tion. He believes every small detail
Try these pro tips from San Juan: more flattering than they used to be.
will fall into place without any effort
“Most men are not particularly
on our part.”
well-versed in getting a tux,” San
Popping
the
question
So goes the dilemma of many
Juan said. “Don’t go into the promodern-day grooms. No longer on
San Juan acknowledges there’s no cess with the I’m-not-going-to-askthe sidelines, they’re ready, willing one way, but he’s not a huge fan of
for-directions mindset.”
and able to participate, but what’s stunt proposals. The kind that actua groom to do when he hasn’t been ally involve the public, that is, like
planning every detail of his dream asking via Jumbotron at a ballpark. The man cry
wedding since boyhood, has never Your proposal may just go viral for
There may be tears and they may
shopped for or worn a tuxedo and the wrong reasons.
be yours, guys.
doesn’t know his carats from his
“The ideal man cry is a cry that is
“You risk putting the person
karats?
you’re asking in a really awkward in control. It’s not blubbering,” San
“My advice for all you grooms situation. Maybe he or she isn’t in Juan said.
out there? Listen to your bride. She
knows what she’s talking about. If
she tells you that at the eight-month
mark you should have picked a venue,
she’s right. If she’s droning on about
getting your frat brothers’ addresses
for save-the-dates, you really need to
get them to her. And never, I repeat,
• Banquet Facility Available - Seating up to 90
never call her a bridezilla,” advises
• Rehearsals, Receptions or Anniversary Parties
the 26-year-old MacHugh, who’s getting hitched Oct. 10.
6%URDG6W
Some grooms are happy to leave
.DOLGD2+
the details to their partners, said
Kristen Ley, a “wedding broker” who
works with couples and vendors in
the Atlanta area. But if you want an
active groom in the lead-up, get him
in the planning loop from the get-go,
she urges.
“If he doesn’t feel included, he
2:1(5672''/$8',&..$5/0,//(5
won’t be, and when it comes time
ASSOCIATED PRESS
THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
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MEL EVANS / Associated Press
KATE MacHUGH and fiance CJ (Christopher John) Ecke sit together on a
seawall in Pine Beach, N.J. MacHugh said she been planning her wedding
since she was a girl and was just waiting for her “faceless groom” who
would “show up when I told him to in the suit that I picked out and he paid
for.” Brides shouldn’t assume their groom doesn’t want to be involved
in the planning process, and grooms should know they need to take their
responsibilities seriously.
A groom should avoid talking if
his voice is going to crack. He should
pause to compose himself. Man tears
are awesome; “squeaky man voice,
not so much,” San Juan said.
Dab, don’t rub. Surely the best
man remembered the handkerchief
to gently pat at tears. Rubbing reddens eyes.
And avoid loud honking when
nose-blowing.
“If you really can’t stop sobbing,
visualize something totally un-sad to
get yourself back in the game,” San
Juan advises.
Drunk college friends
A groom’s side is often full of the
ȱǭȱ
’–˜ǰȱ
guys he used to raise hell with. A
generous tip for the bartender will
help ensure they get cut off before
the point of no return, San Juan said.
Stay on top of the toasts prereception to avoid the colorful or
awkward ones. And grooms should
rely on their best men to police the
unruly.
“You can’t completely avoid some
degree of madness when it comes to
your friends, but hopefully the best
man can handle it,” San Juan said.
As for a groom’s imbibing, he
should pace himself. Don’t down a
full drink after every toast. Old buddies taking an open bar to the limit is
one thing. Joining them is a mistake.
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THE COURIER
MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015
T11
First comes
love, then
comes
marriage —
years later
SOLVEJ SCHOU / via Associated Press
Couples waiting longer to wed
By SOLVEJ SCHOU
ASSOCIATED PRESS
“First comes love, then comes
marriage, then comes baby in a baby
carriage.” So the old playground
rhyme goes.
These days, however, many couples are taking a long time getting
from step 1 to step 2. They’re waiting
until they’re in their 30s or 40s to
wed, with or without kids, after five,
six, seven, eight or more years being
in a relationship and living together.
The trend of long cohabitation before marriage in the United
States is becoming part of the norm,
according to family expert Arielle
Kuperberg, an assistant professor of
sociology at the University of North
Carolina at Greensboro.
Jun Yanagimachi and David
Semien, both 38, of Pasadena, California, got married in 2010, 12 years
after they started dating and seven
years after they moved in together.
When they were in their 20s, none of
their friends were married, and they
also didn’t feel pressured by their
parents.
“We were happy then, and we’re
happy now. Marriage is like agreeing
to be more responsible. You kind of
have to reach a certain age first,” said
Semien, a composer.
Yanagimachi, a business research
specialist, agreed: “I think that’s kind
of how we felt. We didn’t feel mature
enough to get married earlier.” Soon
after they married, they had two
children.
Kuperberg found that from 2009
to 2013, 17.6 percent of women polled
by the National Survey of Family
Growth had lived with their partner
for more than five years before tying
the knot; 5.4 percent had cohabited
more than eight years; and almost
3 percent more than 10 years. Just
20 years earlier, from 1989 to 1993,
an NSFG survey found that those
numbers were 7.8 percent that had
lived together for five years before
marrying their partner; 1.9 percent
more than eight years; and 0.7 percent more than 10 years.
“Is it culture or cost of living that
keeps people from getting married?”
mused Kuperberg. “Cohabitation is
much more socially acceptable now.
We also find that financial instability
makes people put off marriage. Part
of maturity is emotional maturity, but
also financial maturity.”
The recent recession has had an
impact on many couples, Kuperberg
said.
And very religious people are still
much less likely to cohabit before
marriage, added D’Vera Cohn, a
senior writer at the Pew Research
LONGTIME COUPLE Jun Yanagimachi (right), 38, and David Semien, 38, who married in 2010 after dating for 12
years and living together for seven of those years, are shown at home with their 3-year-old son Sage and 8-monthold son Ren, in Pasadena, Calif.
Center.
In states where gay marriage
has recently become legal, longtime
same-sex couples can now decide too
whether they want to tie the knot.
As for Yanagimachi and Semien,
when they finally wed, they did so
with friends and family at a Japanese
Buddhist temple they had visited for
years in the Little Tokyo neighborhood of Los Angeles. Yanagimachi
wore a white kimono that her mother
had received as a gift when she married. Semien, raised Catholic, wore
a suit.
“We wanted it to have meaning
for us, and make sense for us, and be
personal,” Yanagimachi said.
Jen Tunac Camarena, a 42-yearold architect in Fullerton, California,
eloped to Las Vegas in 2008 with her
chef boyfriend, Armando Camarena,
after eight years of living together.
He wanted to marry sooner, she
said. She wanted to elope to avoid
the potential stress of a wedding, and
social pressure from her large family.
“Our marriage felt like a natural
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step,” she said. “I wanted to leave
Armando what little I have, should
anything happen to me. It does feel
different, for some reason. It feels like
you are legitimately tied to someone else, and I felt a greater sense of
responsibility to him as my husband
rather than my boyfriend.”
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MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2015