The Farsider - the San Jose Police Benevolent Association
Transcription
The Farsider - the San Jose Police Benevolent Association
The Farsider Nov. 19, 2015 Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher <[email protected]> Leroy Pyle, Webmaster <[email protected]> The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership. SJPOA NEWS Nov. 12th Election Results CFO: Franco Vado Directors: Rob Imobersteg Anthony Kilmer Greg Connolly Sean Pritchard Eddie Chan Howard Johnson PENSION NEWS Following is an excerpt from last Sunday’s “Internal Affairs” column in the Mercury News… City Hall, Unions Still Talking After Measure B Fallout Nov. 15, 2015 When San Jose leaders in July reached a deal with police and fire unions to end Measure B litigation, they promised agreements with the city’s nine remaining unions would quickly follow. But four months later, talks continue. City Hall sources say “daily conversations are happening,” and the two sides are quibbling over minor details. The settlement framework will end a three-year legal battle against Measure B, a 2012 voter-approved pension reform initiative, and replace the controversial measure with a compromise. The settlement with the nine unions, representing more than 3,000 employees, is expected to have similar terms as the police and fire deal. And sources say it’s getting close — they expect to wrap up a settlement before Thanksgiving. “Although in any negotiation there are sticky last-minute issues to resolve, we are close to reaching an agreement that can bring the nightmare of Measure B to an end and begin the restoration of services here in San Jose,” said Tom Saggau , spokesman for five unions, including police and fire. One cause of delay is getting all sides to the table. The nine unions each have negotiating teams of up to seven people — spurring a scheduling nightmare. Critics blame Measure B, crafted by former Mayor Chuck Reed and supported by Mayor Sam Liccardo , for chasing away hundreds of city employees, but the costs of generous retirement plans continue to eat into the city’s budget. “All of us would love to see this finished,” said Vice Mayor Rose Herrera. “But they’re going through their process, and everyone is doing their best.” THE TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD Other than this oops moment, we couldn’t find much going on with the City or the SJPD this week that was outside of normal. THIS item about an Academy cadet losing his duty gun to a car burglar made the NBC Bay Area news yesterday. MAIL CALL Nov. 12th US Defense Watch We’ll provide you with the first few lines of this commentary from the US Defense Watch website sent in by Dean Janavice and you can decide if you want to read the rest of it. “Mean Dean” calls it a good read… It seems nearly every day that the Pentagon is talking to the American people in double, triple and quadruple speak. The truth is a fugitive, on the run from numerous admirals, generals and cabinet members who distort reality and who are sucking down enough Kool Aid to fill Chesapeake Bay. According to the Pentagon, the air war against ISIS is successful, combat in Iraq is noncombat, women can make it through Navy SEAL training and 50 Special Forces soldiers can retake Syria. Who’s running the Pentagon now, Charlie Sheen? Winning! Click HERE to continue… ••••• Nov. 15th A reader who asked that his name be withheld sent in this Crime Alert from the Sacramento State PD… ••••• Bill, Nov. 16th This short message is an update to last week’s article about military veterans who wish to have the title of “Veteran” noted on their California driver’s license. I went to the Veterans Affairs Office on Winchester. You will need to make an appointment to get the paperwork done there, and they were already booked about two weeks ahead for an appointment. When you do go in, you will need to have your current CDL and your DD214 with you. Bruce Morton <[email protected]> ••••• Nov. 16th Hello Bill, Here is what I have sent to my paper hoping they will print it. California lawmakers have socked it to our veterans again! No I am not a veteran, but I sure do know what they have done for me. Lawmakers passed a law where a veteran can have "VETERAN" put on their California driver's license so when someone asks for a photo ID they will know he or she is a veteran. I would say that is a good thing, that it is nice to know when you meet a veteran. But there is a catch: Our good ol’ lawmakers tacked on a $5.00 (five dollar) charge to have “veteran” on their license. Now tell me is that not just great? Veterans, tell the lawmakers what they can do with their five dollar charge! Just go to the local VA office instead and they will make you a veteran card, take your picture, and give you the card for free. It is called a Veteran ID card, and it can be used any time someone wants a photo ID. Thank you for serving. Caroll G. Deaton <[email protected]> ••••• Bill, Nov. 16th I don't know if this is appropriate for the Farsider, but I am reaching far and wide in an effort to not let those who responded on 9/11 be forgotten. If you cannot do this I fully understand. Thank you once again for your continued service, On 9/11/2001, our nation was forever changed by the attacks in New York City, the Pentagon, and the loss of life in an aircraft that crashed over Shanksville, PA when the passengers fought terrorists who were armed with box cutters. Like many others, I was deployed to Ground Zero New York as part of a "rescue team.” Also like many others, I breathed in too much stuff never meant to be inhaled. Within a couple days, like others on the crew, I had a cough. We just shrugged it off as the flu, but by December I couldn't walk more than a 50 feet without feeling like I had just run a marathon. And I was one of the lucky ones. Roland Kandle, our crew leader, died on 8 March 2002. The site had been closed down less than 24 hours. Another guy named Harry needed a tracheotomy in order to breathe. By June of 2002 I was told, "You need to get your affairs in order." These were grim times. Today I am doing much better, but not everyone who answered the call that day is so lucky, and we need some help. Please take ten minutes to watch the following videos, then contact your members of Congress and ask them to extend the health benefits of the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act. Thank you for taking a few minutes to help us and our families. Dave (Walker) <[email protected]> Click HERE to watch the first video (8:06) Click HERE to watch the second video (2:12) Clicking HERE will give you contact into for your Congressional representatives Ed. — Dave was attached to the Port Authority New York/New Jersey as part of a mutual aid team. His official job was that of a chaplain, evaluating workers for stress and being there to talk with. When bodies and body parts were found, he crawled under the debris with other workers to help load the dead (or what was left of them) and bag the remains, cover them with an American flag and do a brief mini-memorial service topside. He then escorted the remains to a temporary morgue where an attempt was made to I.D. the victims, then rebag them. Others were shipped to Bellvue Hospital for DNA identification. Only one time did he see an exception, and that was when the family of a victim met at Bellvue to be with their son. It will only take a couple of minutes to contact your Congressperson using the link above. Consider lending your support to these heroic rescue workers as you would for the NYPD and NYFD. ••••• Nov. 17th When it was announced a few days ago that Richmond Chief Chris Magnus was selected to head the Tucson PD, I sent the following note to Tucson resident Ron Webster… Looks like your new police chief will be Chris Magnus, the Richmond chief who marched and demonstrated with the Black Lives Matter movement in Richmond a few months ago. I can imagine the comments being made about that decision in the TPD locker room. Ron responded with the following: The Tucson PD POA endorsed the guy from Dallas while a community activist group endorsed Magnus. Since the core inner city area is quite liberal (similar to Berkeley because of the university) I'm not surprised that the mayor and city council (all of whom are democrats) chose Magnus. Tucson is home to a very large Hispanic population (almost 45% according to a recent census) and with Esquivel being Hispanic, I really thought he had the inside track and would have been a good fit had he chosen to stay in the running. Tucson PD is a rough and tumble department and patrols some very tough areas. It seems there is at least one homicide every few days and an officer-involved shooting much too frequently. Since Galios and I live up here in Oro Valley, the choice won't affect us much. Family Circle magazine has rated Oro Valley in the top 10 communities to raise a family, and Money magazine has said it's one of the best places to retire with plenty of recreational opportunities (including golf and tennis), state of the art health care, shopping and fine dining, and a friendly cost of living, including some of the lowest gasoline prices in the USA. A low crime rate here is also one of the reasons. Ron (Webster) <[email protected]> ••••• Hi, Nov. 18th Just received a call from a friend informing me that Judge Ball died. He was a resident of the Portola area for a number of years. The friend said he saw a notice in town regarding same. He made a few calls and heard that he had some kind of virus and passed away in Reno last week. I saw and spoke with John a couple of weeks ago when he was at Nakoma having dinner. Seemed to be his normal jovial self. Sat and chatted him up for awhile. I always enjoyed his friendship. You always knew he was a true patriot as his courtroom walls were covered with historic American flags. Will let you know if I can find out any further information regarding his passing. Mike (Thompson) <[email protected]> ONLY 50 TICKETS REMAINING FOR THE KEITH KELLEY CHRISTMAS DINNER DANCE Saturday, Dec. 12th To reserve yours, or for more information, get in touch with Margie Thompson at 408-421-3785, or send an email to <[email protected]>. ANNUAL RETIREES’ ASSN. CHRISTMAS LUNCHEON Thursday Dec. 10th POA Hall 11:00 AM to 2:00 PM Lunch served at Noon Cost: Members free, spouse and guests $5.00 each Dress: Appropriate for Christmas Optional: Unwrapped toy for "Toys for Tots" donation Please click HERE to sign up online so we can plan appropriately. PAAF’s HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES Congratulations to the 2015 Class inducted into the Police Amateur Athletic Foundation Hall of Fame. Retired Sgt. Bob Kosovilka Nikki Johnson for the late Officer Michael Johnson Retired Sgt. Carroll Blackstock Retired Officer Noel Lanctot Retired Sgt. Chuck Wall Officer Michael J. Johnson Memorial Award Sgt. Jason Pierce HOLLYWOOD AND THE MEDIA'S CREDO: WHO CARES ABOUT THE FACTS? As a rule, we have tried to cut back on passing along political opinion pieces in the Farsider. But once in a while, one comes along that jumps off the page, slaps us upside the head and says "Print me!" Such was the case with this one from last Friday's paper... ‘Truth’ Movie a Piece of Hollywood Fiction By Victor Davis Hanson — Syndicated Columnist Mercury News — Nov. 13, 2015 We live in a weary age of fable. The latest Hollywood mythology is entitled “Truth.” But the film is actually a fictionalized story about how CBS News super-anchor Dan Rather and his “60 Minutes” producer supposedly were railroaded by corporate and right-wing interests into resigning. In reality, an internal investigation by CBS found that Rather and his “60 Minutes” team — just weeks before the 2004 election — had failed to properly vet documents of dubious authenticity asserting that a young George W. Bush had shirked his duty as a Texas Air National Guard pilot. The fabulist movie comes on the heels of the Benghazi investigations. An email introduced last month at a House Benghazi committee hearing indicated that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — just hours after the attacks on the consulate that left four Americans dead — knew almost immediately that an “al-Qaida-like group” had carried out the killings. Clinton informed everyone from her own daughter to the Egyptian prime minister that the killings were the work of hard-core terrorists. Yet officially, she knowingly peddled the falsehood that a video maker had caused spontaneous demonstrations that went bad. Apparently, the truth about Benghazi clashed with the 2012 Barack Obama re-election narrative about the routing of al-Qaida. The Black Lives Matter movement grew out of the fatal shooting of Michael Brown by thenOfficer Darren Wilson in Ferguson, Missouri. The protesters’ signature slogan, “Hands up, don’t shoot,” evolved from the belief that Brown raised his hands after Wilson had fired the first shot and told the officer, “I don’t have a gun, stop shooting” in the seconds before his death. Yet the Justice Department exonerated Wilson, concluding that Brown was shot after struggling with, and then charging toward, Wilson; Brown neither put up his hands to surrender nor was shot in the back while fleeing. Utter disregard for old-fashioned truth is now deeply embedded in contemporary America, largely because it advances a particular agenda. It reminds of an earlier age of politically correct fable, when evidence in the Alger Hiss case and the Julius and Ethel Rosenberg case got in the way of ideologically useful mythologies. In another example of fantasy reinvented as reality, a Texas teen, Ahmed Mohamed, brought a strange contraption with dangling wires to class. He was promptly detained, understandably so in a touchy post-9/11 climate. Ahmed claimed that he was a young inventor and was just showing off his clock creation. He became a cause celebre, a victim of anti-Islamic bigotry. President Obama invited him to the White House. Silicon Valley’s zillionaire techies pronounced him a budding genius. But the bothersome truth again was not so glorious. A number of experts have shown how Ahmed had simply taken out the insides of an old Radio Shack digital clock, put it in a different case with some wires hanging out and passed it off as some sort of new electronic timepiece. Subsequent fact-finding doesn’t dispel these untruths. The legends are created and persist because they further progressive agendas, and thousands of lucrative careers invested in them. “Noble lies” alter our very language through made up words and euphemisms. In our world of fable, there can be no such people as “illegal aliens” who broke federal laws by entering the United States. “Workplace violence” is how the Obama administration described the Fort Hood shootings, rather than calling it terrorism. American servicemen who shoot and die in Iraq are not supposed to be called “combat soldiers.” The enlightened ends of seeking racial and religious tolerance, equality of opportunity and political accountability are never advanced by the illiberal means of lying. What makes this 2016 election so unpredictable are fed-up voters — in other words, Americans who finally are becoming tired of being lied to. Victor Davis Hanson is a syndicated columnist. THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES Nov. 11 — 17 Nov. 11: Last night was the fourth Republican debate. And if you thought it was exciting to watch on TV, imagine being Jeb Bush watching the whole thing from his podium! After some controversial statements recently, a lot of people had their eyes on Ben Carson last night. And at one point, he said that his 3-year-old granddaughter was at the debate because she said she wanted to go. And also because she's his most reliable fact-checker. Last night, Donald Trump said that he actually supports Russia's fight against ISIS in Syria. Yeah, Trump teaming up with Putin. Or as that's also known, the best "Amazing Race" team EVER. The World Giving Index released a report yesterday that found for the first time ever, men are more likely than women to donate money to charity. And even MORE likely to donate to Charity's friends Crystal, Bambi, and Cinnamon. Nov. 12: Today at Starbucks, they refused to give me a cup that had "Happy Thursday" printed on it. I’m thinking of starting a boycott. After the debate this week, online polls show Donald Trump is still in the lead, but critics say the poll is unscientific. Because even science can't explain how Donald Trump is still in the lead. In a recent interview, Donald Trump hinted that he might consider Chris Christie for his ticket if he wins the nomination. Not to be his vice president — to be his wall between America and Mexico. GOP candidate Carly Fiorina is being criticized for repeatedly changing the story of how she met Vladimir Putin, where they met, and what they talked about. In other words, they DEFINITELY met on Tinder. I heard that a couple weeks ago, Rick Santorum and Ted Cruz spent some time hunting pheasants in Iowa. When Donald Trump heard that, he was like, “Why wasn’t I invited? I love hunting peasants.” Nov. 13: Tomorrow night is the second Democratic debate! It's the perfect way to spend a Saturday night if you're single. And it's raining. And every movie theater is closed. And you only get one channel. This time, the debate will feature just three candidates: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O'Malley. Or as viewers call them, “Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Bathroom Break.” Bernie Sanders got an endorsement from the American Postal Workers Union. Well, Bernie Sanders' neighbor got the endorsement, but it was meant for Bernie. He’ll get it eventually. I read about a pub in England that has 15 cats that just walk around, so you can play with them while you drink beer. Customers said it's really fun and cozy, while the bar's owner…has been dead upstairs for months. Nov. 16: The Democratic candidates went head-to-head Saturday night in their second debate, where unlike the Ronda Rousey fight, we saw a woman knock out TWO opponents. CBS actually ended the debate seven minutes before it was supposed to finish. Or as Bill Clinton put it, “Oh my God, you're home early!” Data from social media and Google showed that Bernie Sanders was the most talked about of the three Democratic candidates after the debate. Bernie came in first, Hillary came in second, — and somehow Martin O'Malley came in fourth. The man who invented ibuprofen said that he knew it worked when he tested some out to cure a hangover before giving an important speech. While the man who invented Viagra unfortunately also tested it out before giving a wedding toast. “I COULDN’T be more excited for you guys! I just caught the bouquet!" Nov. 17: Donald Trump went on Twitter today and mocked Ronda Rousey for losing her fight this past weekend. In response, T-Mobile's CEO said he'd pay to see Trump fight her in the ring — at which point, Trump started building a wall around himself. President Obama is overseas this week joining other world leaders in Turkey for the G-20 summit. Which is unusual, because normally when people are gathered around Turkey debating Obama, it's just a bunch of drunk uncles at Thanksgiving. In Pope Francis' latest weekly address, he criticized people who use their phones at the dinner table. Which begs the question: Who is on their phone while they eat dinner with the Pope? Marriott reached a $12 billion deal to buy Starwood Hotels and Resorts, which now makes Marriott the world's biggest hotel chain. At first the deal only cost $9 billion, but then they celebrated with a tiny bottle of champagne from the minibar, made it $12 billion. Nov. 11: Donald Trump said he got to know Vladimir Putin very well because they were on "60 Minutes" the same night, even though they were interviewed by different hosts in different locations. Then he said it was a pleasure to meet Flo the Progressive lady during the commercial break. It’s come out that many Christians who are angry about Starbucks' plain red holiday cup are now taking their business to Dunkin' Donuts. One pastor said, "The more we eat at Dunkin' Donuts, the sooner we get to meet Jesus." During the debate last night, Marco Rubio said, "We need more welders and less philosophers." Graduates with a philosophy degree were so furious, they got on their parents' computers and wrote angry emails. Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off. Apple announced a plan to create 1,000 new jobs in Ireland. Irish people were excited, until Apple told them, "It’s a Genius Bar, not a Guinness Bar." Nov. 12: Donald Trump’s latest attack on Hillary Clinton is that her hair isn’t real. Trump says he knows this because he saw her in line at his wig store. The CEO of Disney is now getting involved in bringing an NFL team to Los Angeles. So football fans, get ready for the crushing defense of the Los Angeles Little Mermaids. The American Postal Workers Union has endorsed Bernie Sanders. They like Bernie because he’s the only candidate who’s old enough to still be using the U.S. Postal Service. First Ben Carson said he attacked his mother with a hammer, now Ben Carson’s mother is saying she’s the one who attacked Ben with a hammer. I don’t know about you, but that’s going to be one awkward Thanksgiving at the Carson house. Nov. 11: Indonesia's anti-drug chief is proposing that the country puts narcotic offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. When I heard about the plan, I was shocked it came out of Indonesia, and not last night's Republican debate. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch. In Indonesian prisons, if you break out of prison, I do not recommend telling your cellmates, "Later, alligator." Because after a while, you'll end up in a crocodile. Nov. 12: We all know being an adult is hard. When you were a kid, having your mom around made things a lot easier. Which is why one woman in Brooklyn is offering her services for $40 an hour as a rent-a-mom — sewing buttons on your shirts, baking your favorite dessert, and calling you at 6 a.m. on a Saturday because she can't remember how to set the DVR. It's got to be uncomfortable when your real mom notices all your shirts are ironed and your bed is made and goes, "Wait a minute — have you been seeing other moms?" You know somewhere out there, a prostitute is watching this, saying, "Wait a second, you're telling me I could just be folding shirts?" If renting a mom isn't for you, but you still want to feel like a kid again, don't worry because someone in Brooklyn is offering enrollment in a preschool for adults. Why is it that any time you have "Adult" before something, it immediately becomes creepy or sad or both? Think about it. Adult bookstore. Adult diapers. Adult Michael Jackson. Nov. 16: During a moment of silence at the Packers game, one very misguided fan yelled out "Muslims suck." Which is obviously awful. This guy probably thought he had everyone's support when he yelled it out, but you just know as soon as he said it, he looked around and was like, "Oh no." If you're thinking of yelling something out during a moment of silence, here's what you can do to curb that urge. Hold your breath, count to 10, and then just keep holding your breath forever. In a press conference after the game, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers had some words for the offending fan. Just when you thought you couldn't love Aaron Rodgers any more, he goes and throws in the words "prejudicial ideology." Usually a football player's postgame comments are, "We worked really hard. We played really hard. We tried to win by playing hard. And working hard. So in conclusion, playing hard and working hard was how we tried to win." Nov. 17: There is a new Barbie doll called Hello Barbie that is a high-tech interactive version of the toy. The Hello Barbie has more than 8,000 phrases she uses to keep up conversation with you. In order for it to work, you have to speak right into her breasts. For 37 years, women have been telling me not to do that. People are making a huge deal about this. But all they've done is put Siri in a Barbie doll. Big deal. I put feet and googly eyes on my iPhone and you don't see me having a press conference. She speaks 8,000 different phrases, which is incredible because real fashion models only have three or four phrases. Nov. 11: 13.5 million viewers watched the debate last night, which was a record for the Fox Business channel. By the way, is Fox Business always a channel or is that a one-night thing? I've never seen that one before. The debate was about the economy and I have to say it was not as much fun as the last one. It was mostly boring. And there are too many people on stage. It might be time to split the candidates into teams and make them play dodgeball or something to see who stays. Jeb needed a big win last night but he really disappeared. He finished seventh of eight in total talking time. He was the least-Googled candidate in the debate. The only person who Googled Jeb Bush last night was his mother, Barbara, because even she forgot who he was. Dr. Ben Carson is still the front-runner despite the fact that many experts say he had a bad debate. I thought it went fine. His mouth kind of moved, words came out so we can hear him. Ben Carson did say he's tired about answering questions about his personal history. The last thing Ben Carson needs is to be even more tired than he already appears to be. Nov. 12: One Direction and Justin Bieber are both releasing new albums tomorrow, which has tween girls all over the world asking, “What's an album?” Walmart announced this Black Friday they're doing away with their highly sought-after and fought-over doorbuster deals. I guess this is a good thing. But I feel like as a society we might need these doorbuster deals. One night a year we get out all our aggression by savagely beating our fellow shoppers. Like the movie "The Purge" — now Walmart's taking the fun out of it just because we trampled a few of their elderly greeters. Walmart will be open at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving this year, as will most of the major retailers. And let's be honest, the truth is we don't really want to shop on Thanksgiving. We just want an excuse to get away from our families immediately after the pie. Nov. 16: It occurred to me that football is essentially a very organized version of a game I play with my 16-month-old daughter called "I'm going to get you." Next time you watch football where a quarterback hands the ball off to a running back, imagine everyone on the other team is saying, "I'm going to get you!" Not that anyone seemed to notice, but there was a Democratic debate on Saturday night. It was Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O'Malley, who is either a presidential candidate or an Irish pub where they all went to drink afterwards, I'm not sure. If you watched the debate on mute, it looked like Bernie Sanders spent two hours angrily sending his soup back at the deli. Donald Trump is out in front of the pack again. According to a new Reuters poll he's in first place among likely Republican voters with 42 percent. Ben Carson is in second with just under 25 percent. Only 4 percent now say they would support Jeb Bush. That number dropped to 2 percent when the pollster asked, "Really?" I think Donald Trump will drop out once he finds out how much money the president actually makes. I think he pays his hair flap engineer more than $400,000 a year. Nov. 11: According to several online polls, Donald Trump was the winner of last night’s presidential debate. When reached for comment Trump said, “Melania, keep clicking!” According to Politico, the new most-searched-for phrase associated with Jeb Bush is “is Jeb Bush still running for president?” Even worse, it’s the most-searched-for phrase on Jeb Bush’s computer. Hillary Clinton this week has begun telling the story of her attempt to join the Marines in 1975. But the closest she ever came to the Marines was buying a pantsuit at Old Navy. New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don’t think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it. Nov. 12: An early copy of The New York Times best-seller list obtained by Buzzfeed shows Ben Carson's "A More Perfect Union" is edging out Donald Trump's "Crippled America." And a little further down the list is Jeb Bush's "I Don't Want to Do This Anymore." I highly recommend chapter three, "Why is this happening to me?" It was reported that the Republican candidates said Hillary Clinton's name more than 40 times during the debate on Tuesday. Though usually you only have to say it three times before she appears. Donald Trump said in a new interview, "We started off with 17 and one by one they're disappearing. It's a beautiful thing to watch as they go out." Which begs the question, have we actually just been watching "The Apprentice" this whole time? The next Democratic debate is being held this Saturday in Des Moines, Iowa, and will be broadcast by CBS News. And if that doesn't do the job, try Ambien. Nov. 16: Bernie Sanders announced today that he has joined Snapchat. Sanders said he’s excited to see his photos disappear, “JUST LIKE THE MIDDLE CLASS!” In an interview this morning, Donald Trump said that mosques need to be “watched and studied,” because he believes they may spread hateful views. In related news, Donald Trump needs to be watched and studied. After one of Google’s self-driving cars was pulled over this weekend, the company released a statement touting that the cars have the human equivalent of 90 years behind the wheel. Which also explains why the left blinker was on for 17 miles. A pair of zebras got loose in downtown Philadelphia this weekend after escaping from a nearby circus. They were chased down and captured almost immediately by Eagles fans who mistook them for referees. “The Voice” star Blake Shelton this weekend rescued four men who got stuck in a mud hole in Oklahoma. Shelton almost left the men, but then one of them hit a high note, and he just had to turn around. Nov. 17: Governor Chris Christie said in an interview yesterday that New Jersey would not accept Syrian refugees. Which is too bad, because Syrian refugees would be the first people ever to arrive in New Jersey and say, “Hey, this is MUCH better!” McDonald’s this week unveiled a successor to its Dollar Menu that will allow customers to pay $2 for two items, which include a double cheeseburger, a chicken sandwich, small fries, or mozzarella sticks. They’re calling it the “Type 2” Dollar Menu. Florida police arrested a woman this weekend in a storage unit facility after she had assaulted her husband during an argument over which sex position is best. She had argued for missionary, while he had argued for “in a storage facility.” Friday was “World Vasectomy Day.” Which meant that Saturday was Frozen Peas Day. Guess what, there are just 361 more shopping days until we get to pick a new president. For the next few months they're going to be coming at us fast and Fiorina-ous. Saturday will be a particularly special Democratic debate because CBS has partnered with Twitter to bring in live reactions and questions. This is supposed to be the biggest Twitter debate since Ben Affleck was cast as Batman. Nov. 13: Check your calendars, Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I'm a little worried because there is a turkey shortage this year. There is an outbreak of deadly avian flu that killed eight million turkeys. It's so sad to see so many turkeys dying in a way that doesn't render them delicious. That’s not the only thing the avian flu has cost us this fall because there's an egg shortage too, which has caused egg prices to rise 50 percent this year. It's gotten so bad that 7-Eleven has begun using eggless mayo in their food, which is a shocker. I always assumed 7-Eleven used foodless food in their food. In the face of this egg crisis, we shall not crack. As a country, we must scramble and whisk it all because it won't be over easy. Lately, Trump has been pretty cranky about losing his lead in the polls over retired neurosurgeon and "Guy who sits next to you in an otherwise empty theater," Ben Carson. Evidently, people have been looking at Trump and thinking, "Maybe we shouldn't elect a man who shouts crazy things. Maybe we should elect a man who whispers crazy things." Nov. 16: People are trying to find any way they can to show support, however small, to the people of France. For instance, Twitter was deluged with statements of support — from #Prayforparis to messages like "My wife and I are watching #Ratatouille in support of what is happening in Paris." Is “Ratatouille” a French film? No. Is it a valid expression? Absolutely. So go drink a bottle of Bordeaux, eat a croissant at Au Bon Pain, slap on a beret and smoke a cigarette, and go eat some French fries. To destroy ISIS, President Hollande has said that he will form a big unified coalition. But today President Obama said it would be a mistake for the U.S. to send troops to Syria. So the international community agrees on two things. One, the only way to wipe out ISIS is to send in ground troops. And two: “Not it!” Nov. 17: Robots are progressing fast and I fear the eventual enslavement of the human race by the metal man. I know what you're saying: "Oh, they'll never do that. Teddy Ruxpin was my friend." No he wasn't, and neither was Tickle Me Elmo. Think about the name. Why wasn't it Tickle You Elmo? Who is in control here? It sounds like a one-sided relationship. There's shocking news out of Japan — robot designers have now created an artificial robot that passed the standardized exams, like the SATs. The only silver lining is they might avoid a robot uprising. In medieval French literature, the robots won't be able to enslave us because they'll be too busy paying off their student loans. WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE Click HERE for the most current update. ••••• Thank God there are two oceans that separate us from the European continent. Some will say this video about the European refugee issue that was posted on the ultra conservative Breitbart website with music and ALSO on YouTube without music last week was edited with the intent to inflame; others say it is simply showing the facts about what is going on in Europe. You are likely to experience an emotional difference depending on which video you select, even though the footage itself is identical. Either way, we think you will be looking at a mind numbing history of the world in the making. And finally, don’t assume that all of the refugees in this video are from Syria. (19:31) Click HERE to watch it on the Breitbart website, narrated with music. Click HERE to watch it on YouTube, narrated without music. ••••• Is this list of 190 U.S. cities scheduled to receive Syrian refugees accurate? Looks legit, and although we had no way of vetting it, the same list shows up on several other sites we Googled. The cities are listed in alphabetical order. Click HERE, scroll down and see if there are any cities near you. ••••• Moving to the lighter side, and to my personal delight I’m pleased to present two flashmob videos that haven’t yet been in the Farsider. This first one from Stan Miller up in Seattle took place at the Hadassah Hospital where the Jerusalem Academy of Music orchestra PERFORMED one of my favorite classical pieces by Tchaikovsky. (5:33) This second one received from Chuck Blackmore is a vocal flashmob as opposed to an instrumental. It took place in a shopping mall in (my best guess) HUNGARY. (5:10) ••••• If you can’t see the humor in this classic Tim Conway elephant story from the old Carol Burnett Show that became a famous blooper, you may need to seek some help. Stick to the end and listen to Vicki Lawrence utter a word that should have been bleeped, but wasn’t. It had CONWAY and guest star Dick Van Dyck rolling on the floor. (4:56) For the curious among you, this is Vicki Lawrence’s EXPLANATION of how she came to deliver her line that included the word a - - hole. (4:33) ••••• Donald Trump may have received just 12 minutes of airtime during his recent hosting gig on “Saturday Night Live,” but the GOP front-runner also spent one more minute recording a skit that never made it to air. NBC unexpectedly uploaded an unaired sketch entitled “Donald Trump’s Hair” to SNL’s YouTube channel. The five-minute short features four SNL cast members as Scalp Team 6 — an elite unit of follicular protectors “dispatched to protect [President] Donald Trump’s hair when a windy situation arises.” Don’t be prepared to laugh; with the exception of a couple of funny lines provided by SNL’s writers and delivered by The Donald during the regular show, this skit is also a DUD in our opinion. (4:56) ••••• We were surprised to learn that Dr. Ben Carson is much older than we thought. But perhaps that’s a good thing when you consider who he had a personal relationship with 2,000 years ago… Dr. Ben Carson posing as the right-hand man of Jesus… http://www.snopes.com/ben-carson-jesus-painting/ ••••• This footage from the Japanese Tsunami is a little spooky. Either the video captured a strange creature (ghost?), or someone went to a lot of work to plant it in the clip. Whatever the case, the video has drawn over 28 million viewers. The clip fast-forwards by itself. When it returns to normal speed, LOOK for the white blob in the image below that repeats several times. (4:42) ••••• (Language warning) When it comes to providing examples of Euphemisms, some will argue that THIS is the late George Carlin at his best. (He passed away from heart failure on June 22, 2008.) (9:00) ••••• For the record, I am a Seenager (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, and they do not use drugs. And I don’t have acne. Life is great! ••••• Guys: We suggest you pick up a pair of these for your better half if El Nino is as bad as it's predicted to be. ••••• At almost 27 minutes in length, this LAPD pursuit of a guy on a bike runs too long to watch in its entirety unless you have time to kill, but if you use the scrubber bar and FAST-FORWARD to the 20-minute mark you will find the end of the chase very entertaining. (26:47) ••••• In putting together a video to promote their upcoming tour, the Harlem Globetrotters set out to break seven Guinness World Records at the Talking Stick Resort Arena in Phoenix last week. They even had a representative from Guinness to document the records. Each ONE is repeated from three different camera angles. (4:57) ••••• As Guinness World Records are concerned, don’t sell this BULLDOG short. He has a record of his own, and you will never guess what it’s for. (1:07) ••••• Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY! Don’t be misled or put off by the pic above that we chose for this item. Take a chance that you might like the clip we received from Bill Leavy by clicking HERE. You will not be disappointed. If you enjoyed that short video, THIS is a longer, more detailed clip on the same subject. ••••• If there is anything that can match a Puppy or Kitten on the cuteness scale, it’s a baby Orangutan. This one’s name is Rickina, and in 2013 when THIS clip was posted on YouTube she was available for adoption. Watch as she meets the rest of the babies and teenagers for the first time. (4:26) ••••• Speaking of animals, clicking HERE will take you to a website with some of the best animal pics you are likely to see. At least that’s what it says. If you have an issue with that, take it up with Don Hale. ••••• Think you know a lot about Space? What you will see in THIS video may surprise you. Have a look. (8:52) ••••• Here’s another idiot with a death wish who decided to stare death in the face in Dubai. A native of Southampton in the UK, James Kingston has been free-climbing various buildings, bridges and towers for the past seven years. He says he used to be scared of heights, but was motivated to challenge his fear and face it head-on. In this climb he chose a construction crane atop a SKYSCRAPER in Dubai. (2:19) ••••• The tradition of the family dinner has been around for centuries. For many people, it invokes fond memories of sitting around a table and sharing stories about their day. But how have family meal choices changed over time? This video sets out to answer that question by showing how DINNER has evolved from 1915 to 2015. ••••• Have a cat? If you do, remember to check it into a kennel on your way to bringing home a Christmas tree, then retrieve the feline the day you put the dying TREE out at the curb. (Many dog owners will say the first point is far more important than the second). (1:06) ••••• Speaking of Christmas trees, have you ever wondered why those grown on Christmas Tree farms look so perfect? Suffice to say that it wasn’t Mother Nature’s doing. Check out THIS one minute clip. (0:59) ••••• Imagine you are running through the forest and a guy driving one of these is chasing you with the intent to turn you into mulch. Based on this clip it wouldn't do much good to try and hide behind a tree. The machine is the EcoLog 590, and it is able to cut down, trim, and segment a fully grown tree in just 30 seconds. With its 240 kW engine and a 31-ton lifting capacity, almost any tree can be quickly processed with THIS piece of industrial machinery. (3:26) ••••• Remember the days before we had streaming music, mp3 players like the iPod, CD’s, cassette players and even 8-track tapes? We wondered what people did a HUNDRED years ago if they wanted a portable music player and found this mega music box. (If anyone knows the actual name of this instrument, please let us know.) (4:12) ••••• As you can see by this Jetpack test flight dubbed the JB-9, work has already begun on the JB10. JetPack Aviation promises that its next version will lift the pilot 10,000 feet in the air and travel at 100 mph. This means we are very close to the day when workers will have to decide whether to take their self-driving car to work in the morning or their jetpack. The decision, of course, will DEPEND on the size of his cajones. (2:04) ••••• Want to see the what is widely considered the most famous photograph in the world and experience how it was captured? It’s called Earthrise, and it was the result of Apollo 8’s mission to the moon over 45 years ago. Click HERE and take a fascinating trip back in time thanks to this video sent in by Phil Norton. (6:43) ••••• July 24, 2010: Here is a fitting end to this week’s Farsider. Meet 83-year-old Elizabeth Laird, an Air Force veteran who is also known as the “HUG LADY.” (2:13) Nov. 15, 2015: THIS is a short sequel to the above. ••••• C’ya Pic of the Week Leroy and I say bring 'em on. Like all retired cops, we have been training for decades to take them out... THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 11/19/15 Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name): No changes To receive the email address of anyone on the list -- or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses -- send your request to <[email protected]>. 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