Sergio de Benedetti Manuscript - Chapman University Digital

Chapman University
Chapman University Digital Commons
Sergio De Benedetti Manuscript
Frank Mt. Pleasant Library of Special Collections
and Archives
1940
Sergio de Benedetti Manuscript (English
translation)
Sergio de Benedetti
Follow this and additional works at: http://digitalcommons.chapman.edu/debenedetti
Part of the European History Commons, Italian Language and Literature Commons, and the
Political History Commons
Recommended Citation
de Benedetti, Sergio, "Sergio de Benedetti Manuscript (English translation)" (1940). Sergio De Benedetti Manuscript. Book 2.
http://digitalcommons.chapman.edu/debenedetti/2
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PART ONE
My Italy, though talk is vain
before the fatal wounds
which have so often marred your
lovely body...
Petrarca
1
2
Chapter One
A Strange Education
Although in the records at the registrar's office in the city of Florence, Italy, my birth is recorded
as falling in the month of August of the year 1912, my life effectively began in 1929. In the winter of that
year, after a laborious and very painful reevaluation, I liberated myself of all the ideas -- ideas which were
for the most part nothing more than prejudices -- which had resulted from a strange education. Then, after
a period of much skepticism and pessimism, I began to gradually construct my own conception of the
world on the basis of my experiences. This rebuilding of my personality is far from complete even to this
day, and may well be modified in the future. This state of continual search and eternal doubt is not always
very agreeable; it is, however, more satisfying to me than the acceptance of any of the ideologies that
allow most people to relax lazily with a certain sense of ease.
Even though I tried to construct my personality according to my experiences in the world, it
would be vain to deny that my earlier life history, from the perspective of heredity and education, did not
have a considerable influence on me. The influence of what I saw, heard, absorbed and learned before the
year 1929 is largely confined to my subconscious; none of the doctrines and ideas that I considered to be
mine before that date remained without having been subject to a severe critical evaluation. I think,
though, that it would be fitting to acknowledge, at the start of these memoirs, the experiences of my
childhood, in order to provide some insight into my present and future attitudes.
*
*
*
My family belongs to the Jewish petit bourgeoisie of Florence. I was born and lived the first
years of my childhood in the home of my maternal grandparents Carlo and Bice Passigli. My grandfather
was a businessman who had retired before the First World War with a small savings which he watched,
with truly Jewish trepidation, as it shrank with the inflation. I believe that my great-grandparents, Cesare
and Rosa Passigli, must have lived in the ghetto for part of their lives, and must have been admitted into
Italian society by the liberal reforms of the Risorgimento. My grandfather therefore, perhaps with
reflexive memories of the past, was naturally a liberal: he was always against Fascism, yet as part of the
group who, through free trade, was able to pass from a condition misery to one of relative comfort, he was
equally opposed to any radical movement for social reform.
My mother, Amelia, had the minimal education that every Jewish family feels obligated to give
its children. I consider her to have been endowed with an uncommon intelligence and sensitivity, and
above of all, an insatiable thirst for truth and justice. Until a relatively advanced age, she cultivated an
intellectual freshness and enthusiasm for confronting problems which, in some cases, were superior to my
own. I remember, for example, her passion for learning when she took some courses in Paris at the
Sorbonne and the College de France.
Her overriding characteristic is a need for justice and coherence that prevents her from
compromising, even on trivial matters; and this has resulted in more than a few problems for her. Her
need to delve into problems and to discover new things is not, however, accompanied by what one would
call a rational outlook; on the contrary, she leans towards mysticism and spirituality, which has furnished
us with topics for endless discussions. When my mother is convinced of something, she is fully
convinced, blocking out every doubt, and she is quite capable of sacrificing herself and others for what
she thinks is right. Given that her convictions are not always the fruit of objective reasoning, this
characteristic subjects her to a kind of fanaticism. However in her interactions with me, except during my
adolescence, she left me rather free to develop as I pleased, something for which I will always be grateful.
3
I have very few memories of my father, Guido DeBenedetti, who died when I was only six. He
came from a family that was somewhat more intellectual than my mother's. (My paternal grandfather,
Abraham or "Nino" whom I never knew, was a high school teacher.) Of my father I know only that he
adored my mother; I was told that he was intelligent, but lacking in those qualities required for success in
life. He was an employee at the Post Office. He was a Mason and sympathized with socialist causes. I
regret having no more details about facets of his personality for which my memory does not serve me.
Such was the character of my family.
The life of this family took place in a second floor apartment on a side street in Florence. The
apartment was relatively large, but nevertheless rather modest and furnished in the questionable taste of
an self-made businessman.
The first years of my childhood were spent in this home in a gloomy setting. I only have vague
memories predating the death of my father. I remember some disconnected and unimportant events: Many
days during the First World War my family ate potatoes, but for me there was always good bread and
plenty of good food. I remember that on some evenings my father would stay with my mother and me,
entertaining me by designing and building marionettes that he carved out of wood with a penknife.
The situation in my family certainly was not ideal for a growing boy. My grandfather had a heart
of gold, but an irascible temper. He was prone to violent outbursts at the dinner table about the amount of
salt in his soup. My parents were certainly not completely happy living in my grandparent's house (as my
mother later confided to me) but they were forced to live there due to financial problems.
The apartment did not have adequate air or light for the healthy physical or spiritual growth of a
young child. All in all, however, the conditions in which I spent my childhood were quite a bit better than
those of most of my peers in Florence. Now, familiar with life in an American suburb, airy and full of
greenery, with its neat little private homes, my old apartment in Florence seems dark and unhealthy.
Spending my childhood in Florence certainly has had a marked influence on my personality: my
maternal language is Italian, the pure Italian which is spoken on the banks of the Arno, and my artistic
sensibility cannot but be influenced by the beauty of the artistic and natural treasures of my native city. It
is therefore natural that, without undue patriotism or provincialism, I retain a certain attachment to my
Italian and Florentine roots.
The education that my mother gave me in my early childhood years was, as far as I can
remember, exemplary. She tried to develop a sense of responsibility and to instill a certain seriousness
about life. On the rare occasions when she punished me, she tried to point out what I had done wrong, so
that the outcome would be a desire to better myself. Besides, she never used corporal punishment; her
disapproval was mostly symbolic. The most common form of punishment, and the one that had the most
profound effect on me, was refusing my good-night kiss at bedtime; also, occasionally she withheld my
fruit at the end of a meal. I don't remember many details of my behavior in this first phase of my life, but I
have been told that my family was more concerned by my inactivity than by tantrums or bad behavior.
At five years of age my favorite form of play was building with blocks. I had a box full of
wooden blocks and little columns with which I built unstable architectural structures on the floor. These
inspired the admiration of my indulgent relatives and when someone wondered aloud whether I might
grow up to be an engineer, this comment stuck in my mind to the point that those wooden structures
directed all my future studies. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I could not imagine myself
going into any other profession than engineer. I prepared to enter the polytechnical high school and only
changed my mind when I was on the verge of entering the School of Engineering.
A man's whole life can be determined by a single casual statement overheard during his
childhood. Until I was twenty years old, because of this statement, I considered the profession of engineer
as that best suited to my intellectual abilities. And so, to prepare me for polytechnical school, even before
the death of my father, my mother began to teach me to read and write. Her instruction was caring; she
was serious without being rigid, and I seem to have learned without much difficulty, using my pen and
books as though they were toys.
I had no religious instruction whatsoever, and I am grateful to my family for having spared me
the painful effort of liberating myself from it. My grandfather was aware of being Jewish, but he was not
4
observant. He fasted on Yom Kippur and, although prosciutto was admissable at our table, he would not
permit pork to be cooked in our kitchen. This minimal respect for tradition -- truly minimal, as is clear to
those who know how rigid and numerous are the laws of the Jewish religion -- had no religious content: it
was simply an affirmation of his own Jewishness that he cared to hold onto. But I remember that my
parents did not respect even those last residual traditions, and during Yom Kippur they would take their
meals in another room out of respect for my grandfather.
I was taken to the synagogue a few times, but this experience made no great impression on me. I
was surprised when I found out that our acquaintances included both Jews and non-Jews, and it took me a
while to figure out what that meant. Even now, though I know what it means, I don't know the difference.
*
*
*
At about six years of age I was faced the first turning point in my life, due to the death of my
father and the start of school. My father died of the Spanish influenza which was a consequence of the
First World War; his disappearance overturned my mother's life so completely that it inevitably had a
profound effect on my own.
During my father's illness I was removed from the house for fear of contagion. When I went back
home, I was told that my father was convalescing in a nursing home and that he would be gone for some
time. But I knew the trick, which had already been used on a little cousin whose father had been killed a
few months earlier in the war. I immediately suspected just what kind of home my father was in. I did not
express my doubts to anyone, perhaps not wanting to complicate the already difficult family situation
with the need to comfort me, or perhaps also because I preferred to remain in doubt rather than have my
fears confirmed.
But upon reflection, I can't rule out the possibility that my silence was somewhat more
egotistical. I didn't know what kind of behavior was expected from a boy who had just learned that he was
an orphan and, afraid of not being up to the demands of the occasion, I preferred to feign ignorance. This
way at least I was left in peace, otherwise I would have become the center of attention, and thus might
have created an embarrassing situation for myself. I didn't want to cry, and was afraid that this might be
considered shameful. Furthermore the idea that the old ladies who came to pay their respects would also
try to comfort me, was a horrifying prospect. The only way I could be left alone, it seemed to me, was by
keeping silent, and so I stuck to it.
A little while later, maybe a few weeks later, we went to the country, as we did every year during
the hot summer months. That year my grandparents rented a flat in a little villa in Fiesole. I do not
remember spending much time with my mother during that sad summer. As she did in all the following
years, my mother spent most of her time shut in her room dwelling on her grief and her memories. From
that time on, even though she was still young, her life as a woman was over. She kept herself busy
exclusively with spiritual problems and humanitarian activities, and of course, with my education.
That summer many of our friends and relatives were in Fiesole scattered in various houses and
villas not far from our own. From time to time I went on walks with my grandfather and I was frequently
taken to friends' houses where I could be with boys of my own age. Among these were Giuliano Treves
and Gualtiero Procaccia, who were distant relatives, and my best friends. Giuliano had lost his mother to
the influenza and Gualtiero's father, Giorgio, had died in the war.
That summer, and in the following summers, my mother spent much of her time with Gualtiero's
mother. The two widows became close because of the similarity of their situations. Together they began
to practice spiritualism, hoping to make contact with their departed loved ones. One of Giuliano's aunts,
who was reputed to be a medium, wrote letters which she claimed were inspired by, or dictated by, spirits
of the departed. She put her hypothetical powers at the disposal of my mother and Gualtiero's mother, and
they brought home bundles of paper covered with scrawled letters. Some of the pages actually bore
written messages from their dead husbands presumably channeled through Gualtiero’s aunt. The
messages were written in a hand that at times strangely resembled the writing of the purported authors.
These were of utmost importance to my mother, who would read me a few lines. One day she brought
5
home a prayer which I was supposed to learn and to repeat every night before going to sleep, and which I
did for many years. The prayer was neither religious nor morbid; it appealed to a "great omnipotent God,"
who, even though he may not have done any good, at least he didn't do any harm.
But otherworldly concerns absorbed my mother more than it was reasonable to expect. In this
dejected and debilitating period she undertook, together with Gualtiero's mother, the search for a faith
which could comfort her in her grief and give her the will to live. Thus the two friends began to go to
lectures and to frequent the strange haunts of mystics, until finally they believed they had found the
"truth" in Theosophy.
Those who wish to know about theosophy can read the vast literature on the subject. The
Theosophical Society is an international organization whose general beliefs entail universal brotherhood
and the search for truth. But behind this organization, whose principles are so broad, is a fantastically
complicated doctrine, a doctrine in which many of its members believe blindly and observe faithfully. It is
a strange mixture of Indian mysticism and Western bigotry, of high ideals and crude superstition. The
doctrine of Theosophy includes all areas of science and ignorance, from reincarnation to the structure of
the atom, from the hereafter to the evolution of the species, from the cosmos to the kitchen. The believer
has access to a whole pseudo-scientific literature based on the beliefs of people who claim to have
extraordinary supernatural powers and who provide the most extravagant explanations on any subject
whatsoever. Occasionally science, with its progress, has proved a few details wrong: the theosophical
authors had all too rashly approached a subject that was verifiable.
In any case, the rest of my education was steeped in theosophy, and this eventually necessitated
an intense re-evaluation to destroy its effects. I do not regret this aspect of my education: it gave me an
intellectual flexibility, awakened in me an interest in fundamental principles, and allowed me to clearly
see how easily once can get lost in the strangest of fantasies when reason is abandoned.
During my childhood my grandfather took me on long walks in the enchanting environs of
Florence. These walks continued for a while after I started elementary school, on Thursdays and Sundays
which were vacation days. As he walked, my grandfather talked: although I do not remember the gist of
what he said, I am convinced that these walks had a marked influence on my development. I think
especially that this was how I acquired my solid middle class common sense.
My grandfather talked about political events and tried to instill a sense of patriotism. Once,
returning from Piazzale Michelangelo, he spoke of the events in Fiume, portraying Yugoslavia, which had
recently been created, as a nation of ingrates towards Italy, whose sons had spilled their blood to allow
Serbia to expand its borders.
A few chance encounters during these walks illustrate my grandfather's unconscious reactionary
ideas. Once, for example, he complained that the peasants no longer acknowledged the better dressed city
residents with a "good day, sir" as they had done in the past -- as though they should feel honored that we
deigned to visit the fields that were bathed in their sweat. This took place near Fiesole.
Another time we met a man who was walking with his wife on the Viale dei Colli. The two were
fairly well dressed, but my grandfather observed that the man was from the working class because his
hands bore the signs of manual labor. My grandfather took the opportunity to comment upon how life had
improved for the proletariat. While he approved of this, he also expressed doubts about pushing these
positive changes too far. At this time, the proletariat was called the "fourth class" and my grandfather
pointed out that in every history book, only three classes were mentioned -- the clergy, the nobility and
the bourgeoisie -- and the fourth class was nothing but a dangerous invention of socialist demagoguery. In
other words he completely denied the existence of the proletariat as a social force.
Meanwhile, immediately after the war, Italian politics was being disrupted by workers and
peasants who, returning from the front, expressed their dissatisfaction with the existing social structure
and were determined to change it. This was a one of the most favorable periods for socialist propaganda
because it resonated with the less affluent classes who were disillusioned by the outcome of the war and
embittered by the contrast between their poverty and the wealth squandered by the profiteers.
The leftist movement took a typically Italian form, it was loud and disorganized. The people had
not found leaders to follow, or a party with the theoretical groundwork to guide them to success. As a
6
result they took advantage of political demonstrations to plunder stores of food and other necessities;
workers occupied the factories, but couldn't organize production. The disarray and disorganization of the
movement spelled its defeat, and soon the people realized that a stolen piece of bread or pair of shoes
could not solve their problems, and that the movement created disorder without imposing any order of its
own. And so the effect of the strikes and the "red days" was simply to scare the bourgeoisie.
During our walks my grandfather explained that the "right" was better than the "left," speaking of
checks and balances and rates of international currency exchange to bolster his point of view. My young
mind concluded that the rightists were "good" and the leftists were "bad." One day, walking along a road I
saw the slogan, "Long Live Fascism" scrawled on a wall. I asked my grandfather the meaning of Fascism
and he answered that it was a political party which was against liberals. In response to my insistent
questioning as to whether the party was on the right or the left, he replied that Fascism was on the
extreme right. I concluded that the Fascists were the best of all the political parties, and none of my
grandfather's protestations against the dangers of extremism could change my mind. This was my first
contact with Fascism, an episode which demonstrates the effects of "right-wing" propaganda.
I judged political events on these grounds until the day I began to think for myself. In my youth,
I believed in the claims of the party propaganda -- Fascism was the defender of the nation and the law. On
the other side were the "reds" who represented only violence and evil. As a consequence I was indignant
about the blood shed by the socialists, and I thought that Fascist reprisals were heroic acts by pure
defenders of justice. The insults to the national flag, the strikes, the late trains -- often the trainmen
refused to proceed when a priest or military official was discovered on board -- all seemed unjustified. It
never occurred to me that these acts might be the result of disillusionment about the war or a commitment
to social justice.
When Giovanni Berta was killed I was profoundly moved and angered. An industrialist's son,
Berta was thrown into the Arno from the Ponte Sospeso by thugs provoked by the tricolor flag on his
bike. It is hardly surprising then, that at ten years of age I greeted the news of the March on Rome with
great joy.
*
*
*
When I was about six years old I started school. I was placed second grade since I already knew
the basics of reading and writing, and from then on I was always a year ahead of my classmates. I started
school after the start of the scholastic year and for that reason I was not admitted to public school. I was
sent to a very snobbish Catholic school, which I can barely remember, run by English nuns. But at the end
of the year my mother had me take the exam to be admitted to public school, where I completed the next
two grades of elementary school.
During this time, I had no contact with any of my classmates. I was accompanied to and from
school by a family-member as befit a young "gentleman" who was not considered capable of crossing the
street by himself. This privilege was reserved for the sons of working class families who were then
disparaged as "street-boys." "You're like a street-boy!" my mother would say when my attire did not
conform to the requisite esthetics and cleanliness appropriate to my class.
After elementary school I attended middle school for four years; I remember these four years as if
I warmed the school benches for just a few hours. In the second year my schoolmates clued me in on the
secrets of sex, in a most disgusting way, and for several years my language was quite foul, even though I
didn't always know the meaning of the words I was using.
After middle school, since I was going to be an engineer, I attended the Science High School
instead of taking the traditional classical curriculum. As a result my education in the humanities is not as
good as it could have been, and my scientific education did not benefit either since, in any case, I would
have studied science later.
Everything I was taught in middle school was completely lost on me, even though my teachers
were satisfied with my performance and gave me decent grades. I didn't appreciate any of the literature
we studied -- The Illiad, Eneide, I Promessi Sposi -- nor do I remember anything about ancient history. I
7
learned geography later, I would say "experimentally" and so, too, with French. Those four years of
school were wasted on me.
However, things were different in Science High School. I was passionate about chemistry,
biology, and mathematics from the beginning. History was taught by a teacher who had a very subtle and
quick mind, who tried to infuse into our immature brains the significance of events and the character of
various historical periods. Professor Porzio was an old populist who loved to spice up the historical
narrative with interesting stories. In this manner, he awakened our interest and taught us, without being
obvious, to sympathize with the oppressed against the oppressors, with the exploited against the tyrants.
According to the curriculum in those days, history professors were also assigned to teach history
of philosophy. But the good man was a historian, and he had no interest in philosophy. From the first day,
he told us sarcastically that this discipline searched for first principles and final purposes, but that no two
philosophers agreed with each other -- his own position was between agnosticism and skepticism -- and
he restricted his course to the exposition of various systems, from the ancient Greeks to Bergson, without
taking any of them too seriously and without missing any opportunity for sarcasm. This caldron of
opinions created quite a bit of confusion in my young mind, but I fondly remember my grey-bearded
professor of history of philosophy, convinced that his lessons had a considerable influence on my later
development.
As to literature I always did rather well, without ever having been too deeply moved by it.
At that time the Italian curriculum was based on the reforms of Gentile. Gentile was an idealistic
philosopher who placed himself at the service of the Fascists and oriented Italian schools along the lines
of his philosophical principles. From a certain perspective, Gentile's reforms were not terribly bad. The
purpose of learning was to shape the student's personality, rather than to grasp practical ideas; humanism
was emphasized, as well as the study of literature and Latin. Boys and girls at the age of ten or twelve
wrote essays on esthetics, and were invited to express their opinions on a given piece of poetry or prose. I
succeeded reasonably well with these tasks, even if I did not resonate under the influence of certain
literary works.
From my perspective, the shortcoming of Gentiles' reforms was to minimize the importance of
scientific culture. Like any idealistic philosopher, Gentile must have considered science to be a dry
subject -- a collection of disconnected thoughts incapable of molding a mind. In my opinion, however,
science can give not only intellectual satisfaction, but can also inspire a young mind, more so even, than
can be gleaned from reading a piece of poetry. No work of Italian or Latin literature has ever inspired me
as much as when I learned the laws of evolution, or when, in natural science class, I became aware of the
presence of the simple and pure beauty hidden in nature. And the harmony of the laws of nature is for me
far superior to any strains of Dante.
From the advent of Fascism and through the first few years of its ascendance, the administration
of Italian schools was sound. The professors' integrity was truly extraordinary, especially considering
their meager earnings. As a general rule, they were no longer young and they had considerable
experience; often they were also very knowledgeable and had a real interest in their subject matter.
Schools were completely divorced from religion until the time that the Fascists reconciled with
the church. At that time, Catholic religious instruction was introduced into the schools for one hour a
week, from which students could be excused at the request of their parents. On the bare walls of the
schoolrooms, there had always been a photograph of the king; after a while a crucifix came to keep him
company, and later still, a photo of Mussolini made its appearance, with eyes bulging out of their sockets.
Upon leaving high school, so much culture was stuffed into the poor head of an 18-year old boy
that he could not have assimilated, or at least marginally learned, anything more without resorting to
physical violence. Unfortunately, it was a "scholastic" education, which aimed at teaching what had been
written in books, and not actual life in the real world. Well-turned phrases, resonant words, and lots of
adjectives were the marks of a classical education. The purpose of the system was to teach us to write
well about what had already been written by others, instead of to express our own thoughts about the
world around us, or our own observations and reactions to the world. The result was that we appeared to
8
be educated to those who, in turn, had been educated in the same manner. Rhetoric and pompousness,
these sorry Italian traits infected us from our first years on the school benches.
The only religion that I was taught in school, perhaps the only religious education that I ever had,
was the religion of the Greeks and Romans. This is the religious education which most educated Italians
receive -- to the extent that, it could be said that Italy is more pagan than it is Catholic.
*
*
*
Relations with my classmates were simple and cordial. There was some profanity and lots of
cheap humor, but beneath it all, much solidarity and friendship. I wonder what happened to my high
school classmates. How many of them were sent away, far from their homes to fight and perhaps to die?
In school the subject of politics surfaced relatively infrequently, but Fascism's hand became
steadily heavier, and already in the early years when I was in school, it was possible to foresee a time
when the schools would be completely subservient to the Fascist regime. In my last year of high school
all the students in my class, with only one or two exceptions, were members of Fascist organizations. Our
principal actively engaged in propaganda, but none of the professors ever discussed politics in their
classes, and the education which was imparted to us was not yet twisted by a political agenda. In fact,
most of the teachers were suspected of having anti-fascist views.
The hours I spent on the high school benches were mostly quite pleasant. Though I did not study
much at home, I was always able to make decent grades. I spent several years without many worries in
this regard. I was never a timid student; on the contrary I often went to the opposite extreme of becoming
impertinent. If I lacked energy in my earlier years, I acquired a goodly dose of it later on. At school I
could not keep still, and my conduct was not at all disciplined. This unruliness, though, did not displease
either my friends or my teachers, who reproached me good-naturedly, and occasionally made me leave
the room without thinking any less of me.
During my last years before college, I was less isolated than I had been, and I spent much time
with my schoolmates and other boys of my age. My friends in high school were not very remarkable and
none of them, as far as I know, made a name for themselves in the years that followed. In general they
came from the petite bourgeoisie of Florence and were perhaps of a slightly poorer class, the recently
formed Science High School being less "refined" than the Classical High School.
Therefore, my friends at the time represented a cross-section of Florence, with no snooty
pretensions or foreign contacts. My high school friends had all the virtues and defects of our common
Florentine mentality: they were brilliant, vivacious and skeptical. We prized a witty saying more than a
good deed: there was a real manic quality to our wittiness, and everyone constantly teased each other, not
out of mean-spiritedness, but for the sheer pleasure of sharpening one's wits in quick verbal repartees of
insults and retorts.
None of my friends had any serious or profound ideas or aspirations. Fanaticism of any kind,
including any political or religious fervor, was unknown in our class. Only one of my schoolmates,
having been educated by Jesuits, truly believed in Catholicism, and all the others saw him as a strange
specimen of some nearly extinct species.
When we were not talking about our studies or involved in pointless teasing, our main topic of
conversation was sports, or rather, il tifo. This word describes the attitude of those who read the "Sports
Gazette," and made a noisy fuss over this or that particular team, or this or that particular athlete, without
ever going onto the playing field themselves. This fictional enthusiasm was probably the outcome of the
dearth of the kind of ideals that might inspire real passion.
Mainly our enthusiasm revolved around the "Fiorentinas," the local soccer team; when Italian
teams or athletes competed internationally, the tifo took on a nationalistic tinge. All the so-called
patriotism shown by Italians during the Fascist wars was never substantially different from rooting for
their sports teams. The average Italian never made an in-depth study of what was best for our country. He
wanted victory for the Italian army, just as he yearned for a win for his soccer team.
9
Our conversations were often colored by extreme profanity, which delighted most of the class,
almost as though it was proof of one's virility. In our scholarly life, lack of discipline was valued over
good behavior, and whoever received a grade of ten for good behavior could not expect any respect from
his peers. The most prized intellectual gifts were wit and the ability to get ahead without too much effort.
Persistence and concentrated effort were scorned.
The character of an Italian class is profoundly different from that of an English or American
class. In Italy the class is bound by ties of solidarity against the school authorities. A student does not
perceive himself as an individual who wants to learn; he is not interested in loyal collaboration with his
teachers. Rather he sees himself as part of a group whose interests are opposed to his professors. Thus,
deceiving them by copying, or by allowing one's work to be copied, or by suggesting answers to a
classmate who is being interrogated, is considered not just legitimate, but even commendable.
I frequently passed answers to my neighbors, and I devised a particularly ingenious method for
signaling answers to students who were being questioned. I remember once, in my first year of high
school, I took a written chemistry exam with an extremely strict professor -- one who was considered
impossible to cheat. I wrote a long list of formulas on my thigh, which was normally covered by my short
pants, and it so happened that the test covered exactly the formulas which I had written down. Naturally I
received an outstanding grade. All my friends considered this scheme to be quite an achievement, rather
than the act of disloyalty that it really was.
Such a scholastic ethic shows an inability to impose discipline upon oneself and a disregard for
the importance of individual responsibility. These attitudes do not completely disappear as the years pass
and the little scholars become adult citizens; and one can't deny that this state of affairs contributed to
creating the conditions which allowed the victory of Fascism.
Unfortunately, with or without Fascism, the lack of a civic sense has always been one of the
dominant weaknesses of the Italian people, probably originating in centuries of foreign occupation, during
which Italians came to regard government as the enemy. This lack of civic pride is cultivated in the
schools where the child learns to cheat his teacher so that later he will be able to cheat the tax collector.
The character of my high school class, which I have tried to reconstruct in my mind,
corresponded to that of the general population of Florence. Furthermore while there are differences
between various parts of Italy, the "scholastic ethic" which I describe above, is the same throughout the
country. The Florentines are a people with an old civilization and they have seen much water flow under
their Ponte Vecchio. Many governments have come and gone; many illusions vanished. So they are
fundamentally skeptics, but they still have a quick wit and an active intelligence. The extraordinary
natural and artistic beauty of their city has nurtured their good taste; but there is but one small step
between refinement and decadence.
*
*
*
And now let's go back home to see what happened in my family.
During the entire time that I was in school, my life at home was influenced by my mother's
theories on theosophy. In turn, I was introduced to the theosophical groups, instructed in its doctrine, and
initiated into its various mysteries.
In the early years, theosophical gatherings were held in the home of an elderly woman who
insisted on being addressed as "Countess" even though she was no such thing. She loved to strut through
her rooms posing as a patron of the arts. The leader of the Florentine theosophists was a French professor,
Emile Marcault, who was employed in the philosophy department of the University of Pisa. I remember
him as an intelligent, articulate man, certainly a person of much greater breadth than the theosophists
whom I subsequently met. Later, when the Fascists expelled foreign professors from Italian universities,
Mercault returned to France where he was director of the Theosophical Society of France until the
German invasion.
I was introduced to the theosophists of Milan when my mother took me to the city to visit my
aunt. There, I was invited to attend a meeting of a recently formed para-theosophical society called "The
10
Ideal Knight." At the meeting, members were dressed in strangely embroidered blue and white tunics and
they referred to each other as Pages, Squires and Knights. They entered the room following a predetermined ceremony and sat in a circle while executing complicated rituals: they appeared to be
reenacting the knights of King Arthur sans peur et sans reproche. It was a painful spectacle of cheap
mysticism, based on the most absurd medieval traditions. But my childish imagination was swept up in
this exercise of nobility and gallantry, and when a knight placed his hand on my head as I kneeled before
him, and proclaimed me a Page of The Ideal Knight, I was profoundly moved. This ceremony, this
vestige of feudalism, stirred up such enthusiasm in me, that I returned to Florence eager to spread the
word of this ridiculous organization.
My enthusiasm would probably have spent itself without any unpleasant consequences if, one
awful day, my mother had not received a visit from one of the most narrow-minded men I have ever met.
This man insisted on being called Professor Dammeno although he had never completed his coursework
in mathematics at the University of Pisa. He was a recent convert to Theosophy and a zealous proponent.
In his small way, he was ambitious, and he was tickled at the thought of becoming president of a group of
boys.
At twenty-four Dammeno was still young, small, dark, with a large red nose and low forehead. To
compensate for his small stature, he wore heels that were two centimeters higher than those worn by other
western males; to compensate for his intellectual insignificance, he abused the title of professor. His pants
were always hitched up above the ankle and his jackets always too tight. His smile, which reached from
ear to ear, was affected and unspontaneous. His quick and lively eyes never had a moment's rest, and his
whole being was in a state of constant agitation, always bustling with matters of no importance.
Professor Dammeno knew how to do anything and everything better than any other mortal, but he
was too modest to brag about it. In his goodness, though, he was generous enough to demonstrate to the
inexpert common public the correct way to approach various problems. Dammeno taught us boys how to
sleep in the correct position, how to breathe, how to walk and so on. He taught my mother how to wrap
her packages, how to knock on the door, how to use a penknife, and many other equally precious things.
This individual was for many years my mother's and Gualtiero's mother's best friend, and our education
was in part entrusted to his capable hands.
Naturally Dammeno was enthusiastic about the whole idea of The Ideal Knight, and in no time
the other child theosophists and I were garbed in white tunics. We made the rounds of all the antique
stores in the city--and there is no scarcity of them in Florence--to find old lamps, old swords, old goblets
and other articles needed for the ceremonies. Having obtained all the necessary accessories, we held our
first meeting under the presidency of Dammeno who, with his large nose and red face emerging from his
blue tunic, looked more like a strange mother hen than a proud knight of King Arthur. Under Dammeno's
leadership the Ideal Knight flourished and prospered for several years. Under the irresistible impetus of
his profoundly original personality he created new ceremonies, collected dues, produced festivals for
charity, organized pitiful performances, and cared for poor children and stray animals, all in same spirit.
Meanwhile Dammeno gave us moral advice and taught us the mysteries of theosophy with an
outlook that would be considered narrow-minded by the most bigoted country curate. I remember one
time, when I was about thirteen, he proposed the formation of an inner group from among his favorite
students, to secretly initiate us into some mysterious rites. I refused to join a group whose purpose I didn't
know. This was perhaps my first act of rebellion, and at the same time my first affirmation of democratic
principles. My mother considered me a rebel, but Dammeno had to give up one of the victims for his little
group and was forced to carry on his important activities without my participation. This affirmation of
independence was, however, my only one for several years.
All the while, my mother had been attending meetings and lectures. She translated literature from
French and English into Italian (she had begun learning English expressly for this purpose); she typed
programs, articles and invitations (she had also learned to touch-type for the same reason); she mailed
books, argued, studied sacred texts, proselytized and was herself proselytized. For several years all the
enthusiasm of which she was capable, and it was considerable, revolved around theosophy or related
activities.
11
Meanwhile, I was growing. One summer vacation I developed pleurisy which, as I learned later,
was thought to be tuberculosis. Against the advice of the doctors and of all our friends and relations, my
mother suddenly had me become a vegetarian (as a good theosophist, she was, and is still, a vegetarian)
and had me take cold showers in winter. (This was Dammeno's idea.) In spite of all this, I did not develop
tuberculosis since I was not predisposed to it, and now I am in excellent health. But during my entire
adolescence my height and weight were below average. My physical development was always slow and at
school I was always the smallest in my class -- this was partly because I was a year younger than my
classmates. I don't think, however, that my slow development and relative weakness at the time were in
any way related to the practice of vegetarianism or taking cold showers. In any case, these events have not
left a trace on my physical condition, and despite my slow development I am endowed with a body that I
have no reason to criticize, although I am neither an athlete nor an Adonis.
My family life was very sad while I was in high school. My grandfather suffered from arterial
sclerosis and his condition deteriorated steadily. Little by little he lost his hearing, which made him
suspicious of everyone and more irascible than ever; unfortunately the friendly talks we once shared were
now a thing of the past. Later he developed cataracts which made him almost blind. He was successfully
operated upon, but his tired body did not allow him to benefit from the operation, and he carried on for
several years with very limited vision. Even worse, he had a stroke which left him partially paralyzed and
mentally impaired. He died when I was in my third year of high school, followed to his grave by my
grandmother, who survived him by only a few weeks.
But even when my grandparents were in relatively good health, our home life was far from
serene. When my Milanese uncle, Vittorio Levi, was in financial straits, my Aunt Luisa came to live with
us. My aunt's personality did not contribute to family harmony, and thus, between my mother's obsession
with theosophy, and my grandfather's bad temper, life at home was a living hell.
I closed myself off, almost pretending not to see the tragedy within my family. I went to school
and came home only to study. My mother bore the brunt of the situation, caring for her parents in
exemplary fashion during their protracted and painful illnesses, dedicating all of her time and energy to
them. As if this weren't enough, she carried on continuous discussions, which sometimes degenerated into
arguments, with my aunt. The two sisters' personalities were diametrically opposed to each other. My
mother was always dedicated to spiritual matters, and my aunt, who loved the luxuries and joys of the
world, found it impossible to adapt to her financial difficulties.
In the afternoons I would often visit my best friend Gualtiero, not without giving his family some
trouble given that, after the inactivity of my early childhood, I had become quite a noisy child.
On Sundays, I often spent time with Giuliano who was a few years younger than I, but
intellectually rather precocious. When the weather was good we would take drives in the Florentine
countryside with his family. Those were the grand years of the automobile when we drove down dusty
roads in an open convertible wearing sport's caps and driving goggles, removing the muffler to better
impress the peasants and chickens, who scurried off in fear.
Nevertheless, these drives around Tuscany were pleasant. We went to Siena, Viareggio, Lucca,
Pisa, Pistoia, Chianti, Casentino, Mugello to admire the natural and artistic treasures. The green hills,
blanketed by lovingly tended fields imbued with the sweat of generations; the villages in every valley
with their little churches overlooking some piazza or noble statue; the castles on every hilltop with
Guelph blackbirds or Ghibellines--these have all become a part of me, in whatever part of Italy or of the
world that I happen to be. I long for this countryside, a countryside filled with the vestiges of an old and
uninterrupted civilization.
Gualtiero and Giuliano's families were large, extended families of Jewish businessmen. Having
held on to their businesses during the war, their financial situations were better than my grandfather's:
they were the nouveau riches, or, in the post-war slang, pescecani -- sharks or profiteers. Gualtiero's
relatives were good people, unabashedly proud of their money, loud, unsophisticated and good at heart.
Giuliano's relatives, who branched out endlessly in every direction, often put on a show of being refined,
and despite the newness of their wealth, some did have a quiet dignity about them.
12
*
*
*
Such was the ambience of my childhood and adolescence, in which I chose my friends and toys.
All these people, or, as my mother would sometimes call them, this tribe, were vaguely related to my
family. Of actual relatives other than my mother's sister, mentioned above, I had only an uncle, my
father's brother Emilio DeBenedetti, who was a high school teacher in La Spezia, and his wife Fernanda
and their two daughters Fiorella and Ninetta who were a little older than I.
Almost every year, during the summer vacation I went to La Spezia for a few weeks to swim in
the blue Mediterranean with my uncle and cousins. I was a guest in their house, but every morning we
took the ferry across the gulf to the pure water beyond the dam, at San Terenzio, Lerici, or Portovenere. It
was a magnificent excursion, in the company of other children, to be repeated on the return trip towards
the setting sun. I learned to swim distances from my uncle, to love the rocks and deep water and to
disapprove of the sedentary life of the beach.
My frequent contact with my uncle during these vacations influenced me rather more than I
realized at the time -- not that I felt either the desire or the need for guidance, and much less for some
fatherly authority figure. As to guidance, I had plenty from my mother. But my uncle, though he lived in
the more provincial city of La Spezia, had perhaps the most far-reaching perspective of any person that I
had yet encountered. He was a classicist, a devoted humanist, a free thinker, a patriotic Italian, and a
liberal in the best sense of the word. He had a broad historical perspective and followed world events,
upon which he made precise and sensible judgments. A monarchist by tradition, he felt highly honored
one time when the king, on a visit to La Spezia, shook his hand.
Although he was actively interested in current affairs, his integrity prevented him from
participating in politics or taking a position in favor of any politically endorsed ideology. He was
disappointed by their shortcomings, imperfections and corruption. Even before Fascism, so as not to
compromise with the political parties, he refused to vote in any election. During Fascism his distrust of
political parties transformed itself into an increasingly bitter disdain for the only remaining party. He
never joined the party and never hid his sentiments, despite the benefits that would have accrued to his
career.
The most humiliating day of his life came when, at one of the obligatory elections in favor of the
regime, he could not refuse to participate. But at home, in the safety of his family, he retold with pride his
modest feat of heroism: "Although I put the yes card in the ballot box, which could be seen from the
outside, in the privacy of the booth, I crossed out the yes and wrote NO!"
*
*
*
Except for some distant echoes, political events never affected me. At the time of the March on
Rome I was a boy of about ten and I remember greeting the event with joy. I had no information about the
"reds" except stories of their murderous violence and I had no knowledge of their social program. In the
years that followed however, I began taking note that the Fascists did not refrain from violence either.
Only steps from my house, the offices of the Nuovo Giornale, a newspaper guilty of not being sufficiently
enthusiastic about Fascism, were broken into, looted and burned. The police naturally did not intervene.
A few years later, in October of 1925, a Fascist leader, a certain Luporini, went to the house of a
socialist worker in my neighborhood to teach him the significance of the new regime with blows from a
club. He was greeted by a well-deserved rifle shot. The next day, the Fascists arrived, set fire to the house
and decided to vindicate their "hero." The vendetta was ferocious and many Florentine intellectuals were
victimized during three days of terror. A lawyer was murdered in his own bed in the presence of his wife.
In those days people were killed simply for being Masons.
But these facts, though they instilled some doubts, were not enough to destroy my sympathy for
Fascism. During one of my last years in high school, under pressure from the school administration, I
joined the party's youth group, the "Vanguard." I was, I think, the next-to-the-last student in my class to
succumb to this pressure, and that was not so much to my credit as it was the influence of my grandfather
13
and professor/uncle, who worked valiantly to keep me from taking this step. The last student to join was a
Jesuit, who decided to don the black shirt only when the Fascists and the church signed the Concordat.
So I put on my uniform on Sunday mornings and went down into the street to march in the
parades with my friends. Our favorite pastime during the long delays was telling anti-fascist jokes. "Why
did they put a Fascist in front of a locomotive?" "To better eat the road." (Eating the road was used to
describe a roadhog, but politically, "eating" was used as a synonym for graft.) Or: "A perfect man must
have three attributes: he must be honest, intelligent and Fascist. Unfortunately, perfection is not of this
world and so he who is honest and Fascist cannot be intelligent, and he who is honest and intelligent
cannot be Fascist."
The long delays and the parades were a nuisance. So much so that immediately after roll call,
would-be paraders fled the area or found any means to steal away. Often during the parades, the last ones
in line would turn unobserved down a side street and return peacefully home. And in the years that
followed, it seems that Mussolini was unable to substantially change this Italian attitude toward military
or paramilitary activities.
*
*
*
This is the story of my childhood and adolescence and of the places that I frequented. What can
properly be called my life begins after my last year in high school, for it is from that time that my
personality began to form and to find its own expression.
14
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16
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