September 2009 Issue

Transcription

Pretty TGirls Magazine
TGirls At Work Issue!
September 2009 Issue
Featuring An Interview With
Amy Leigh Johnson-Garbati
Pretty TGirls Magazine is a production of the Pretty TGirls Group
Group and is intended as a free resource for the
Transgendered community. Articles and advertisements may be submitted
submitted for consideration to the editor, Rachel
Williston, at [email protected] . It is our hope that our
our magazine will increase the understanding of
the TG world and better acceptance of TGirls in our society. To that end, any articles are appreciated and
welcomed for review !
Pretty TGirls Magazine – September 2009
page 1
Pretty TGirls Magazine
Welcome to the September 2009 issue … Take pride and joy with being a TGirl !
Table of contents:
Our Miss 2009 Cover Girls !
Our Miss July, August, and September 2009 Cover Girls
Cover Girl Feature – Amy Leigh Johnson-Garbati
Editor’s Corner – Rachel Williston
Ask Amy and Nan – Amy and Nan Garbati
Cocktails With Nicole – Nicole Morgin
Dear Abby L – Abby Lauren
TG Crossword – Rachel Williston
TGirl Tips – MellissaLynn
Being A Super-Heroine at Chicago Comic-con – MellissaLynn
In The Company Of Others – Candice O. Minky
Tiana’s Corner – Tiana Lockheart
My First Time – Susan Anderson
Suzane’s First Time – Suzane Oliva
So You Think You Packed Everything – Barbara M. Davidson
Of Interest To TGirls – Pamela Ann Elliot
Then and Now Photo’s
Recipes by Mollie – Mollie Bell
Signs: Self-Evaluation As Transgender – Brianna Austin
Transgender Employment Solutions – Michele Angelique
TG Conferences and Getaways
Advertisements and newsy items
Our 2009 Calendar!
Magazine courtesy of the Pretty TGirls Group at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prettytgirls
page 2
Our Miss July 2009 Cover Girl !
How about joining us?
We’re a tasteful, fun
group of girls and we
love new friends!
Just go to … http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prettytgirls
page 3
Our Miss August 2009 Cover Girl !
love new friends!
page 4
Our Miss September 2009 Cover Girl !
love new friends!
page 5
Our Miss 2009 Cover Girls!
page 6
Featured
Cover Girl
Question: When did you first start
crossdressing?
Amy: The first time I remember
dressing happened quite by
accident. At about the age of five
I was playing with a neighbor girl
who wanted to play dress-up, I
dressed in a white party dress,
walked up and down our street, and
introduced myself as the new girl in
the neighborhood. It is my earliest
memory and gives me a feeling of
contentment every time I recall it.
Question: Describe your early experiences dressing as a girl.
Amy: As a teen in the late 60’s I would dress in my bedroom. My hair was fairly
long and I would tease it into a makeshift 60’s bouffant; put on a couple of
pieces of clothing that had been stored in the spare bedroom, and add some
lipstick and eye liner “borrowed” from my mother. I would spend hours admiring
my reflection, both loving it and hating it. I always thought there was something
wrong with me, but I couldn’t resist; try as I might, eventually the desire to
dress would win out.
page 7
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: At what age did you start using make-up and wearing wigs? How did
you learn how to apply make up? Any tips for other TGirls? Brand of make up you
use?
Amy: While I had worn wigs and makeup occasionally through the years, I
started truly learning how to do makeup three to four years ago. I use the
common drug store brands like Revlon, CoverGirl and Maybelline. Tips, there is a
lot of good information on the internet, but the advice I give others that ask
about learning to do makeup…practice, practice, practice. I would come home
from work every night and practice putting on makeup. Eventually your
proficiency will increase greatly and you will figure out what looks good on you.
page 8
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: If you had your choice,
what do like wearing the most when
being a girl?
Amy: Like most girls, I went through
phases. Mine started with anything
slutty, graduating to always wanting to
wear a skirt or dress, eventually to
wearing whatever is appropriate for
the occasion. While I still enjoy
getting all dolled up for a special
event, I am just as at home in a pair
of jeans and top.
Question: Now a bit of personal information ... What is your marital status? A
sensitive area for some girls, but ... how old are you now? Does anyone know you
are a TGirl? What country do you live in?
Amy: We live just outside Charleston, South Carolina, USA. I am married to an
amazing woman; Nan knew I liked to dress even before we married almost 27
years ago. She has always been supportive and accepting of my transgender
side, even more so than I was. On the trip home from SCC in 2007, it was she
that turned to me and said, “I think you should transition.” I am 54 and not
afraid to admit it. Does anyone know I am a Tgirl? I transitioned to full time in
February 2009; everyone knows I am a Tgirl!
page 9
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: Do you have a website
and/or email you’d like to share
with us?
Amy: Nan operates an Ebay store,
EnFemme Boutique, to support the
transgender community. In addition
to offering really good prices, she
has helped quite a few girls just by
being supportive. For her it is not
about making money, it is about
supporting the community instead of
taking advantage. She knows how
difficult it can be for some girls to
figure out what sizes they should
buy and how difficult it is for girls
that are deep in the closet to get
help. I am very proud of the work
she does.
Question: Have you ever gone through a purge of your female clothing? If so,
can you tell us why? How did it make you feel? How long before you went back to
being a girl?
Amy: In the early years I purged a couple of times, usually due to a feeling of
self-loathing. I wanted to be rid of it. With children, busy lives, and lack of
opportunity, I actually stopped dressing for several years. I thought I had put
it behind me, but in 2003 Nan suggested I dress as a female for Halloween. At
first I resisted the notion and then thought why not. Little did I know what
that evening would rekindle. My desires came back with a vengeance, far
stronger than I had ever known. Without realizing it, I went into severe
depression and became very withdrawn. It was Nan that saved me. She
uncovered Amy on the internet and while she was hurt that I had kept it from
her, she was incredibly compassionate, supportive and understanding, and helped
me to come to accept it.
page 10
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: What percentage of time do
you spend as a girl?
Amy: 100%
Question: Have you ever considered
moving towards becoming more of a
girl physically with options like
hormones, feminisation surgery, breast
enhancements, or SRS?
Amy: I have been on hormones for
about a year and a half. While I pass
fairly well, I would like to have some
FFS, but I have a hard time justifying
the cost. As far as SRS goes, for me
it is not something I need to feel
complete. I am quite happy being able
to present to the world the person I
have always felt I was. It is really
nobody’s business what I have between
my legs.
Question: Do you feel more like a boy or a girl now and why?
Amy: I feel like me. I feel genuine. Now that I live full time I am much more
outgoing and engaging than I ever was. I am definitely way more feminine than
masculine, so I guess based on that, I feel more like a girl.
Question: Have you ever dated or wanted to date another TGirl or a man?
Amy: There was a time when I was struggling to accept myself that I thought
about being with a man. As I look back on that period, I realize for me, it was
about validation rather than attraction. Once I came to fully accept who I am,
it was no longer something I wanted.
page 11
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: Now for being a TGirl at
work … Describe your first
experiences approaching your
employer about being a TGirl and
wanting to dress as a girl and be a
girl at work.
Amy: My current employer had no
policy when it came to gender
expression or identity. I had
started interviewing for positions
with trans-friendly employers
believing my employer would not be
supportive. I really love my job and
didn’t want to leave. I had finally
decided to talk to my Assistant
General Manager to see if there was
any possibility of this working out.
He is a pretty open-minded guy and
I was fairly sure even if he didn’t
think it could work out, he would
neither out me nor fire me.
Before I could build the courage to actually sit down with him, I was outed at
work. I had a picture from SCC in my PDA and accidentally left it in the men’s
room. It was turned in to the front desk and when they looked in it to try to
determine whom it belonged to, someone recognized me in the photo and my
secret was out. Before the day was out, I told my manager I needed to speak
to him in the morning. I didn’t want him to hear it through gossip. I wanted to
be the one to tell him and I had been planning to sit down with him anyway.
I couldn't have asked for my meeting to have gone better. I was honest and
open with him. He was sympathetic and accepting, and could see no reason I
wouldn't be able to transition on the job. I was stunned! He believed we could
take this to the General Manager if I wished and he would also be supportive. He
even offered to act as my agent if I was uncomfortable going to the GM.
page 12
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
It would not have been out of character for me to let someone else do the hard
part, so I was actually quite proud of myself when I heard myself tell him, while
I would like for him to sit in on the discussion, particularly as I now considered
him an ally, this was my situation, my life, and mine to deal with, and if I
wanted to be successful I had to be the one to face things and be my own
advocate.
Without going into detail of each meeting, discussion, and communication that
followed, let me just say, after providing some files and documents covering
transitioning in the workplace to my GM so he could better understand what he
was getting into, and the subsequent discussions he had with two Regional Vice
Presidents, the corporate Vice President of Human Resources, and the corporate
Director of Human Resources, the decision was made to support my transition on
the job.
Question: How did you feel the first time you showed up at work as yourself, a
TGirl?
Amy: I expected to be terrified walking across the parking lot, up the ramp,
and through the associate entrance, but in reality, while I was nervous, I wasn’t
nearly as nervous as you would think. The meeting with my department slightly
over a week before had gone extremely well, and I was told the department
manager meeting had gone very well also. In addition, I had already received a
couple of supportive emails. All of that combined made that first appearance
somewhat easier.
I walked into the engineering shop, said good morning, poured myself a cup of
coffee and went into my office; my normal routine. I checked my email (newly
reset with Amy Garbati as my login name) and had several more messages of
support. I walked back into the shop, chatted for a few minutes with my crew
and held my morning meeting as usual. While it was a little awkward for
everyone, me included, the meeting wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. As the
engineers went about their assignments, one stopped in my office, a 20-year
retired navy man. He sat down in my side chair and asked, “Are you happy? You
look happy.” I told him of the inner peace and happiness I was feeling. “That’s
all that matters,” he said, “and I’m happy for you.”
page 13
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
I started going through my 100+ emails until it was time for the morning manager
meeting. I took a deep breath put on a look of confidence and headed for the
atrium. I walked through the atrium and was welcomed back with a “Good morning
Amy!” and a big hug from one of the breakfast attendants. We visited for a
moment and then I continued through the atrium to my morning meeting. As I
approached the other managers that had already arrived for the meeting, I was
welcomed back by each one of them. Throughout the short meeting everyone
seemed really comfortable. After the meeting I was approached by one of the
female managers who proceeded to tell me how great I looked and how she could
see we were going to be competing on clothing. I told her I had always thought
she was the best-dressed manager in the hotel, but I was up to the challenge.
The rest of the day, and week, was filled with associates engaging me just to say
“Good morning Amy,” “Hello Amy,” “Welcome back Amy,” or just to stop and
chat. On Wednesday, I walked across the atrium and approached the front
desk. Working the front desk was the associate that had outed me several
months before. As I got closer, she looked up, smiled, and said, “Good morning
Amy, you look lovely today.”
I could go on and on about how gracious everyone was. My week was filled with
so many of these wondrous vignettes. I met with several vendors during the
week; some had been informed of my transition in an email, others had not, and
everyone was accepting and no notice was taken, it was a non-event, a nonissue. I went to several suppliers to pick up materials; everyone was pleasant, no
one even raised an eyebrow. My confidence, my heart, and my happiness, soared
to new heights.
Question: How long have you been at work now as a TGirl?
Amy: Six months
Question: Without naming your employer, what type of your do you do?
Amy: I am a Chief Engineer for a well know full service hotel.
page 14
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: Did you face any ridicule or were you accepted by co-workers?
Amy: There was no ridicule whatsoever. The entire staff from managers to line
associates to subordinates were incredibly welcoming and supportive. In fact, my
relationship with other associates is considerably more cordial than it was before
I transitioned.
Question: Who accepted you as a TGirl at your workplace easiest, men or
women?
Amy: Before I transitioned at work, I would have guessed it would be more
accepted by the women, but honestly, I haven’t seen any difference. I was
openly accepted and supported by everyone. Now, after six months, other than
the occasional name or pronoun slip, it has become a complete non-event.
Question: Do you have any advice for other TGirls who want to be themselves at
work?
Amy: Do your best to be a valued associate, treat everybody with dignity,
respect, and caring. Be supportive of others and do everything you can to
develop relationships of mutual respect.
Question: Have you been treated fairly at work?
Amy: I have been treated equally. Who can ask for more?
Question: Looking back at “coming out” as a TGirl at work, was it worth it?
Amy: Without a doubt.
page 15
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
Question: How is your life now as a TGirl? What's gone well and not so well?
Amy: While I do still get a little anxious walking into a public place, I couldn’t be
happier. I have been incredibly fortunate, mine is almost a fairy tale story.
Everything has gone well, nothing has gone badly.
Question: Anything else you'd like to say?
Amy: If approached with careful planning and in a professional manner successful
transition at work is possible. I have been told by management that I set a good
example for those that may follow. If your employer doesn’t have protection in
place plan on educating your managers, including the HR manager. Make the
process as painless as possible for them and you will meet with less resistance
and more support.
page 16
Featured
Cover Girl
(continued)
page 17
Editor’s Corner
Rachel Williston
Hi Everyone!
If you have any articles for me to put into
the next issue, please send them to
[email protected]
Please don’t forget that we are lucky enough
to have 5 advice columnists (1 married
couple, 1 GG, 2 TGirls). Please use them as
the valuable resources they are … I don’t
want to lose them!
Personal Website: http://rachelwilliston.com
Back from “Summer Break” !!!
I’m back from a couple of months off from editing Pretty Tgirls Magazine and so happy to be involved
with this again! This month was to focus on Tgirls at work, but I didn’t receive the response I was
hoping for. Amy, luckily, stepped up and agreed (actually volunteered) to be the cover story … thanks
Amy!!!
Coming up for our January issue, I hope to do another relationships-with-a-TGirl issue. We did this early
this year and it was a big hit. It helped many couples (TGirl and GG) have a better understanding and I
received many, many articles and stories which I hope everyone out there will do again! This is your chance
to be famous (well, a little famous) … just email me your article with photos at
[email protected] . Who knows, maybe you will be on the cover like Michelle Williams was!!!
page 18
Ask Amy and Nan
A married couple – Amy is a TGirl and Nan is a Genetic Girl
(email us at [email protected])
Amy and Nan have graciously agreed to be my co-hostesses of the
Pretty TGirls Group! Hopefully, they will have many readers’
questions to respond to in the future!
page 19
Cocktails with Nicole
Perspectives and advice
from a TGirl
(email me at [email protected])
Please feel free to email
Nicole with your
questions!
There were no questions submitted in time for this issue.
page 20
Dear Abby L
Advice from a TGirl’s perspective
Hi Abby
I’ve been a closet queen since my teens and i have a fond
passion for all feminine attire, accessories and dressing.
Oh yes I've purged many times and even once thought I just a gay man in denial, but found
after dabbling in the gay bar scene and a few taudry trists with men when I was young and
single that I really wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with a man......I came to the
realization I mostly just loved to dress and be feminine.
I love women ( and still admire the sculpted male form....but don't we all:))
Never shared this with my wife of 20 years.I see and read all these stories about other CD's
that have girlfriends and wives that know / share their other side together
My wife is so very religious and conservative I know she;d think I was gay or perverted if I
came out
She is bi-curious and has expressed a desire for other women ( and I understand and even
support), but her conservative nature keeps us from exploring that together- although she
may have explored on her own.
I've often thought if I cultivated her bi-curious side to a point that someday I could
eventually come out and share my feminine CD side, but never been convinced that is a
good approach
I know I'm mixing sexual desires/fantasy with my CD issue, but I do dress to release the
feminine side of me including the sensuality and sexual nature of being a woman. .
Any advice or experiences from others that you could share on how to ease her into
revealing my CD fem side?
Thank you and warmest regards
page 21
Dear Abby L
continued
ANSWER …
Coming out to one's wife is always a situation fraught with potential peril - especially if it's
after years of marriage. I would always (with the advantage of hindsight) recommend
telling one's potential spouse when the relationship becomes serious enough to consider
marriage because you maximize the potential for being able to be yourself throughout the
marriage. While it does take the courage to see the relationship evaporate immediately or
soon thereafter or, even worse, have the woman turn on you and spitefully out you to the
public, it is the honest and considerate way to proceed. It is also much easier in today's
climate of societal acceptance of alternate lifestyles. I should point out that your potential
wife's acceptance of this part of you when you come out to her before marriage is in no
way guaranteed to last throughout the marriage. Life is not static and many things can
change.
Again, with the advantage of hindsight, there is virtually no likelihood that marriage will,
in any way, "cure" you of being TG ( I would even say that there is NO likelihood of that
happening.) If you have chosen not to disclose this part of yourself, then, when you finally
come out, after years of deception, your wife is very likely to feel betrayed, hurt and
angry and have the many doubts that you've read about many times (eg. Is he gay? will he
want to become a woman?, etc.) When the wife is religious and conservative- thinking,
your chances are obviously worse that she will be accepting of something that is described
in the Bible as an "abomination" to the Lord.
Love
Abby
However, here we are already dealing with a woman who acknowledges sexual leanings
that are deviant to her beliefs. I think you have the right approach in mind that would be
advantageous to her as well as you. Rather than continuing her probable selfcondemnation for her sexually deviant feelings, it would be wonderful for you to help her
accept and love herself for who she truly is. It would be an indescribably beautiful gift to
her. Everybody (you included) needs to learn to love and accept themselves for who they
truly are. I've learned over the years that I will never change. I tried mightily and
underwent many years of unavailing therapy with highly-regarded psychoanalysts who,
obviously, didn't know what they were talking about when the claimed they could "cure"
me. Once I came to the conclusion that (who I subsequently named) Abby was here to stay,
I set about trying to learn to love and accept myself. I have many online friends to thank
for this and, also, Tgirls I've met over many years. I agree with something that Amy
Garbati wrote. For many years, I put the health and welfare of my family and children
ahead of mine and subordinated my needs to theirs. However, as I've aged and faced
threats to my mortality, I've come to the realization that I finally have the right to put my
needs first.
page 22
Dear Abby L
continued
So, I think you have the right approach in mind. If you can help your wife accept and love
herself, then ask for her help in accepting and loving yourself. She has the potential to
"have her cake and eat it, too" in having a semi-lesbian relationship with you, while
staying close to her religious vows. I have known several very religious couples with very
conservative leanings who have come to accept this deviation from the norm as a part of
their marital lives. It helps a lot if all this is done with a lot of love and consideration of
your partner.
For your sake, I hope that those of you with religious partners who are conservative will
write in and share your experiences.
Good luck and please feel free to keep me informed of your progress.
Love
Abby
Abby
page 23
Rachel’s TG Crossword
(answers at the end of this issue … don’t peek first!)
I will have another
crossword in next
month’s issue
page 24
TGirl Tips by MellissaLynn
Hello, girls! Well, the summer must be over, since Rachel’s starting the magazine again. I hope you all
had a great summer; mine was mixed, to say the least. I went to visit relatives for Memorial Day weekend
and had a great time. However, then I got home and found that lightning had struck my house and I had
lost several pieces of electronics, including the satellite modem that gives me my Internet.
Well, it took the entire month of June to get that brouhaha settled, but settle it I did. I also made my
performing debut onstage as a female impersonator in June (see pictures below). Then came July, which
was a pretty decent month. The end of July saw my return to visiting my in-laws, this time for sewing
work and to prepare for the Chicago Comic-Con, formerly known as Wizard World Chicago, the comic
book convention I attended last year. I’ll talk more about that in another article.
Very shortly after we returned from the convention, my spouse went to the doctor. She was diagnosed
with a mild form of leukemia (CMS). The good news is that this is completely treatable with medication;
she had to do nothing more than have a bone marrow sample taken for a biopsy.
And then there’s school! Thanks to Uncle Sam’s newly-discovered generosity in providing us with the
post-9-11 GI Bill, I’m attending college…again! However, this time I’m taking a subject which will
greatly enhance my column here (pun intended!): I’m currently in my first semester of cosmetology. If all
goes well, in about 18 months, I’ll be fully licensed and ready to make a living at it.
But for now, I have tips and tricks to dispense! If you have questions, ideas, or tips to share, remember to
e-mail me at [email protected] . Have a great Labor Day and a wonderful month!
page 25
TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued)
Here’s a recipe for a quick and inexpensive foot exfoliater and moisturizer. Put together a mixture of
sugar and olive oil and apply it to your feet. They’ll feel softer and smoother in a very short time
***
For those of you who shave your bikini line (I do!), remember to shave in the direction the hair grows.
This will prevent the angry, painful, annoying little red bumps. You should also use a clean, sharp razor;
this not only gives a better shave, but also protects from infection and germs.
***
If you DO get a pimple or a blemish, try this remedy: crush an aspirin and add water until it makes a
paste. Smooth this over the blemish and leave it overnight. The salicylic acid in aspirin is also what’s used
in most acne medications.
***
You’re on the run, getting ready to go, and you’re just now finding out that you’re out of mascara! Oh no!
Here’s a quickie solution: Take a waxy lip balm and run it on your finger, then run a deep-colored eyeliner
over the balm. Apply to your lashes, and there you go, dark, deep lashes in a jiffy.
***
A shoe tip! The best time to go shoe shopping (there really isn’t a BAD time, but this is the best!) is in the
late afternoon or early evening, after being on your feet all day. Your feet swell as the day goes on, so this
is when you’ll find out whether those gorgeous three-inch stilettos actually will fit you when you’re out on
the town some night. Another thing to remember: there should be roughly a half-inch of room in the front
of the shoe and about an eighth on the back and sides. Again, this is a thing about your feet swelling
later. And always, always, always get your feet measured! Stand when doing this; it may not be
flattering to find out that your feet are larger than you think, but embarrassment is better than pain any
day.
page 26
TGirl Tips by MellissaLynn (continued)
One quick story about my comic convention: I spent the entire time en femme. I was able to do this
without having to shave for four days (actually, I went a full week before I saw any growth). I
accomplished this by having my face waxed. I will tell you, ladies, it hurt a LOT! But when it was done
and the redness was gone and the bleeding stopped (yes, there was blood), I had as smooth and soft a face
as any GG out there! I actually was able to go out in public en femme without a bunch of foundation all
over my face; just enough to cover any trouble spots. Considering how hot the weekend of the convention
was (upper 90s), that was a blessing. The waxing wasn’t expensive, either; I paid twelve dollars to have
my whole face done in all fairness, I WAS at a beauty college). So if you’re going to be out and about as a
girl for more than a day, this is something to consider.
***
A quickie reminder: fall is just about upon us. This is a good time to (yep, my longtime readers know what
I’m about to say) inventory your makeup and purge the stuff that’s out of date! I’m being taught about
bacteriology in my cosmetology classes right now, so I’m getting even more paranoid about the subject.
Please, girls, do this and protect your skin, eyes, lips, and wherever else you apply makeup.
***
When plucking your brows, remember to do only one hair at a time. The last thing that looks attractive in
your eyebrows is a bald patch. And remember to pluck in the same direction as the hair growth. This
allows the hair to return smooth and strong,
***
Alas, the summer is just about past us…but there’s still plenty of sunlight out there, and that means
there’s plenty of UV to trash our complexions and skin. One of the easiest ways to protect the skin
around the eyes from UV rays is nothing more than a pair of sunglasses. Not only will the UV rays be
blocked, but the sunglasses make it easier t see without squinting, and therefore not creating crow’s feet at
the edges of your eyes.
page 27
This is a picture from the convention, just before the
costume contest on Saturday. Alas, I didn’t win, but it
was fun. There’s more pictures in my article about the
convention. Check out those boots!
.
***
Back to the bacteriology bit for a moment. I want to tell
you all a fact I learned in my nail class. Did you know
that the single most vulnerable point on your body to get a
disease or an infection is the beds of your fingernails? It’s
true. And with things like the swine flu making the
rounds, washing your hands seems tome to be a simple and
practical thing to do.
***
Here’s a nifty way to get the shine back on your patent
leather shoes. Apply a light coat of Vaseline or mineral oil
to the outside of the shoes. After letting the shoes sit a
moment for penetration, buff them out with a soft cloth.
For more stubborn marks, a felt-tip marker in the same
color may be applied to hide the mark, then blended in by
using a damp paper towel or napkin to blot the marker.
Definition time! A Kabuki brush has very dense, blunt-cut bristles that make it great for applying a lot of
product at once, for full coverage. It’s great for applying a powder foundation or a bronzer, but don’t use
it for blush unless you’re applying for a job as a clown. A Kabuki brush is also great for blending. This is
what one looks like:
***
I like this tip so much! I made a bad hair day kit for my purse and another one for my backpack. Here’s
how you can make yours. Take a small zip-top bag and put in a few bobby pins, a couple of hair bands
that aren’t all stretched out, and a small comb or maybe a travel brush. I recommend a dryer sheet as well,
to help keep the static frizzies at bay.
page 28
Another item to put in your purse is a packet of hand-sanitizing wipes. They’re an inexpensive way to keep yourself germ
free and therefore illness free.
***
Here’s what I think is one of the biggest secrets in the art of passing in public. SMILE! Women smile much more than
men. And not only does it look more natural for you as a woman to be smiling, the truth is, it also makes you feel better
inside.
***
And with that, another column is ready to be closed. Once again, girls, any questions, tips, complaints, or ideas you have are
cheerfully welcomed at [email protected] . I hope to talk to you all again next month!
page 29
Being A Super-Heroine at the Chicago Comic-con
By MellissaLynn
Last month, on August 6-9, the Chicago Comic-con, formerly known as Wizard World Chicago, took place
at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center. I attended the show for the entire weekend once again, as
I’ve done the last two years. Also as I‘ve done the last two years, I brought along five wonderful
teenagers, two boys and three girls.
The convention started at 4pm on Thursday evening with ‘Preview Night’. This is where the people who
purchased the more expensive tickets get to see in advance what will be happening at the convention. As
it’s only a few hours long, I declined to wear a costume.
Friday, the first full day of the convention, was warm but not TOO warm. After taking a little longer
than I’d have liked to get ready, we arrived at the convention center around 11am. Only three of us were
in costume on Friday:
Wait…Catwoman and the Joker aren’t MY villains…!
Truth, Justice, and the American way!
page 30
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
As always, the Supergirl costume drew huge amounts of people taking my picture. I enjoy this part of the
convention, and it’s always a lot of fun. I especially enjoy taking pictures with other heroes:
From left to right: Blue Beetle, Black Canary, Supergirls, and Catwoman
page 31
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
Supergirl, Robin, & Catwoman
Green Arrow and Supergirl
page 32
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
There were plenty of other people in costumes besides superhero types, however:
Capt. Jack Sparrow, Catwoman, Supergirl, & Harry Potter
Ariel and Supergirl
page 33
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
This year’s convention had a lot more than just comic book heroes to see, though. There were TV and
movie stars past and present, wrestlers, reality show stars, and plenty more.
Kynt, Catwoman, Supergirl, & Vyxsin
Dawn Marie (WWE) & Catwoman
page 34
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
Saturday was the day I debuted my Black Canary costume. It didn’t come out quite as good as I’d hoped,
but it was fun to wear and at least I got to show off my new boots!
Surprise!
I love being a female superhero!
page 35
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
Green Arrow & Black Canary
Black Canary & Cute Girl
Of course, there WERE other costumes there that day. Here’s a few…
The Powerpuff Girls!
page 36
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
Rogue & Sabretooth
Supergirl, Flash, & Black Canary
page 37
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
Sunday was the final day of the convention. My original intention was to use my third costume and go as
the She-Hulk (green wig, green face and body makeup, clothing); however, the summer decided to pick this
weekend as the one truly hot one of the year, so instead I went back to Supergirl so that I wouldn’t keel
over and die from the heat.
Supergirl and artist extraordinaire Frank Cho
Legion Of Supergirls!
page 38
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
This is the nicest ladies’ restroom I’ve ever been in!
Proudly defending the Hyatt…
page 39
(continued)
By MellissaLynn
Just another picture…
And with that my convention report comes to a close. I hope you liked the pictures as much as I did
posing for them!
page 40
In The Company Of Others
By Candice O. Minky
tbd
Candy will begin
contributing to the
magazine again
shortly!
page 41
Tiana’s Corner
By Tiana Lockheart
Tiana will begin
contributing to the
magazine again
shortly!
page 42
My First Time
By Susan Anderson
I have always been fascinated with full skirted gowns, especially wedding dresses. I don’t know why but
the full skirts are so feminine and exciting. They are the ultimate in a woman’s life, a beautiful gown for
her wedding.
I had tried on my sisters and my wife’s wedding dresses before this. They felt wonderful but I wanted
more adventure.
The first time I was put in a wedding dress was at a bridal salon in a nearby city. I had called before and
asked them if they had gowns that would fit me. I said I needed one for a party, that I was elected to be
the “bride” or something like that.
My son had a weekly meeting with a counselor in this city. One day I dropped him off and went to the
bridal shop. I explained my story again. A very nice looking woman, I will call Julie, took me upstairs to a
room and showed me a rack of wedding gowns. After looking through the dresses I found an ivory gown
with a full skirt and admired it. My heart skipped a beat when she said, “Would you like to try it on?”
She said it with the calmness as if I were in a men’s shop looking at a suit. I was not really expecting it
but then, why was I there? Just to look at gowns? I replied, “Yes”. I felt very excited and nervous. I
realized that I had just committed myself and Julie was preparing to put me in a wedding dress!
Julie took the gown off the rack and I followed her across the hall to another room. I was excited and
scared at the same time. As I followed Julie, carrying the gown I would soon be in, I thought to myself,
“What am I doing? This is not normal. But then, what is normal?” I followed anyway, anxious for what
was about to happen.
page 43
My First Time (continued)
By Susan Anderson
The room was a large room with a platform in front of floor to ceiling mirrors. Julie went to a small
dressing room on the right and hung the gown on a hook in the room. She came out and said I could go in
and put on the gown. I went into the room and began taking off my clothes. She told me to bunch up the
skirts then slide them over my head; she would help me zip it. I took off my clothes and put them in a neat
pile behind me. I then unzipped the gown and slowly took it off the hanger. I turned the gown around and
bunched up the skirts. I then lifted the skirts up and put them over my head. It was quite a feeling to look
up into the gown, all I saw was Ivory satin. As I slid the gown over my head I could finally see daylight.
I let the gown fall down over my body putting my arms through the sleeves as the dress came down on my
body. What a feeling! I was in heaven! There was a mirror under the hook. In one short moment I was in
a gown that spread out more than anything I had ever worn. I was now looking at myself in a wedding
dress! I was beautiful!
I slowly stepped out of the dressing room with the gown loosely hanging on me. I stopped and Julie said,
“That gown is beautiful on you.” She walked behind me and began pulling the dress together and zipping
it up in the back. It was exciting to feel the gown tighten up against my body. I jiggled my body to help
the gown find its position. I did not have a bra on but it still felt good. Julie put some breast forms in my
gown to enhance my figure. They worked well.
She then asked if I wanted a slip and I replied yes. She brought a slip and helped me get into it. It was
made of crinoline and tied at the waist. I held the skirts up and stepped into the slip but could not tie the
strings while holding the gown. I asked her to tie it for me. She came very close and tied the strings while I
held the skirts up. (This is why a girl has bridesmaids.) I then let the skirts down over the slip. The gown
filled very nicely out over the slip.
I walked over to the mirrors. I had to step up to get on the stage. I instinctively lifted my skirts so I
would not trip. It was such a wonderful feeling, having to hold and lift the satin skirts and slip as I
stepped onto the stage. I stopped in front of the mirror and looked at myself. I fluffed the gown a few
times and rested my hands on the satin skirts. Where a few minutes before I was in denim jeans, I was
now standing in a soft satin wedding gown. It was heaven! I felt beautiful! Julie followed me on the
stage and pulled and adjusted the gown in a few places. She said I looked good in the gown and it
probably would not need much in alterations. She left for a few minutes and I walked around in the gown
slightly lifting the skirts as I slowly moved. Many thoughts went through my mind, “I was a bride! There
was no need to hurry. This was my day.” I walked over by the window and looked out wondering if
someone might be looking at me. I felt so feminine.
Susan
page 44
Suzane’s First Time
By Suzane Oliva
SUZANE'S FIRST TIME
(DECMEMBER 2008):
I was very apprehensive and even downright
scared. What was I doing flying from the east
coast to Las Vegas, NV to consult and trust a
woman that I had only spoken with twice by
phone? When I placed my first phone call to
Amy I was concerned, could I trust her with my
life? If she knows about Suzane will she judge or
hurt us? As I pack my bags and get all of
Suzane's clothes and accessories packed I cannot
help but worry am I making a big mistake? The
thoughts that permeate my life are; 'can this
actually be safe, is their somebody that
understands and can make Suzane into a
beautiful woman? The trip to the airport and
flight to Las Vegas seems to take forever
After checking into the hotel I call and ask if I can come over and meet Amy. I also want to check out
the boutique in person while I am safe in my male role. Again when the phone is answered, "Glamour
Boutique, this is Amy," the fear and apprehension just seem to melt away replaced by a feeling of
peace, trust, and even tranquility. "Yes you are welcome to come over anytime."
I have the directions all ready written down so I go to the hotel lobby and catch a cab. The web site
instructions come in handy because the driver did not really know where we were going by the address
but he did know where Tony Roma's Restaurant was. I pay the cab and the fear and questions begin to
come back as I climb the stairs to the second floor and find my way down the hall and through the
door that leads into the shop.
page 45
Suzane’s First Time (continued)
By Suzane Oliva
A bell sounds as I enter. I am in here now with no way
out so here goes nothing. Amy is at the desk in the front
of the shop and she again immediately puts my mid to
rest. She has a tremendous understanding and gift to
make everyone feel comfortable, the feeling of
tranquility, trust and peace permeate my mind. Yes
this really can happen. Amy introduces me to her staff
and other women that are at the shop. You instantly
feel comfortable and realize that you are actually safe
and have nothing to fear. After touring the facility
taking in the "Just You Hall of Fame" pictures, I
realize for the first time in my life that this is real and it
just may actually be possible for Suzane to be a
beautiful woman. Suddenly I cannot wait until
tomorrow to have my first ever transformation.
Everything is positive and I feel like a little kid again.
Anything Is Possible; all the preconceived notions are
shed and left on the floor. I finally have to tear myself
away since Amy has work to do and magic to perform
for other clients.
The next day is Tuesday and I am at the shop over an hour early! Suzane is "on top of the world
looking down on creation." Could it get any better than this? When the time arrives for my
transformation Amy takes me back to her studio room and instructs me to select the clothing and
outfit that Suzane will be wearing and call her when I am ready. Well at this point I can hardly
contain the excitement and hope that are inside me. What dress and accessories will be right? Amy
puts my mind at ease again she says, "Remember Women come in all sizes and whatever you select to
wear will work or we can make adaptations or changes so it will work." Everything is so positive. This
is the night that I have dreamed about for decades!
page 46
By Suzane Oliva
I dress and call Amy back, she comes in and has only positive things to say. Within a few minutes I
am in her chair and we are talking like old girlfriends from way back. She explains what she is doing
and shortly after she begins with a face lift. As Amy begins this big first for me she stands in front of
me so I cannot see the mirror. She explains that as this is my first time having a transformation or
any type of makeover (other then my feeble attempts at home or when traveling) she feels it is best
for me not to see the steps, stages, and changes leading up to the final product. Amy works away on
my face. I feel like a fresh canvas and Amy is the great artist; a Michael Angelo of sorts! Time goes
by and I look up or down as instructed; my first fake eye lashes are added and like the Reba
Macintyre song says "She painted my eyes and lips". Amy says, "Do not look. I am going to select a
wig to complement your face and finish your look." After a moment she is back and my eyes are still
closed tightly as she stretches a wig on my head from front to back. I can feel the hair on my face and
neck and this is a wonderful, soft and even sexy feeling! After a few moments of styling my new hair
and final touches she says, "Keep your eyes closed until I say open and please do not cry. You do not
want to ruin your new look."
Now the moment of truth has arrived and Amy steps away and says the magic words "Open your
eyes." I slowly open my eyes and my heart leaps and skips a few beats. I am looking at a beautiful
woman, not me. I cannot be this woman she is actually beautiful and very attractive. I cry, but just a
little. Amy has to leave so she does not cry also. Amy through her talents has taken an average guy and
made a beautiful woman. I am still standing in front of the mirror five minutes later when Amy
returns. I give her a hug and thank her for this wonderful creation that she has constructed with her
creative talents and skills.
The night continues with Brenda taking pictures before we go for an outing. For the first time in my
life I am confident and completely comfortable as Suzane Oliva. The night is caught on film by Brenda
so that I can relive it any time. I have placed the pictures on my computer as a screen saver. Various
people have visited my home when the computer has been running through the pictures of Suzane
and they have asked who is that woman? I just say she was on a computer disc I received from a close
friend and I liked the pictures! Most just joke that it must have been the boots and long legs with the
mini skirt that made me keep the pictures but anyway you look at it this is a real complement to Amy
and her staff.
page 47
By Suzane Oliva
I have now had four additional makeover transformations at the Glamour Boutique in Las Vegas and
each one was as good or better than the previous one. Through Amy and her staff I have developed
some real friends and we have shared a few wonderful times. Whether you are considering a first time
transformation, outing, or if you have had multiple experiences at other venues, you owe it to yourself
to experience a new high that will increase your confidence and create a moment that you will cherish
for the rest of your life. It all awaits you at Amy's Just You - Home of Glamour Boutique 2 in Las
Vegas, Nevada!
Amy, thank you for making my dreams come true!
I hope to see you again very soon!
Suzane Oliva
page 48
So You Think You Packed Everything
By Barbara Marie Davidson
Have you ever had that “gut feeling” as you are driving down the road 2
or 3 hours away that you “might have left something at home”. Every one
has, at one time or other, had that feeling and when they arrive at their
destination it is either a sigh of relief or “OH NO”. I really did leave
something at home. Such was my case this past February Sig Eps
weekend. I left something very important and expensive sitting by the
side door.
I was so excited about getting the “heck” out of town for a long weekend
in Atlanta with my Sig Eps sisters that I packed every thing Thursday
night and actually pack the car (so I thought). Friday morning I got up,
took a bath, got dressed and was on the road about 7 am for a 3hr trip to
Atlanta. It was only when I got to my brothers and was unloading the
car that I realized that I had left Barbara’s “face” (makeup case) sitting
on the floor next to the door at home. This “girl” was some what up set.
as it was 1015 and I was to meet Phoebe between 12:30 and 1 pm at
Hooters near Gwinnett Mall and I had NO makeup.. Luckily there was
a CVS in the neighborhood thus I made a quick dash there and got the
bare essentials in CG (cover Girl) ,which I despise, to get me going until I
could find a Clinique counter.
After a quick change, making my self as presentable as I could, I left to meet Phoebe for lunch. After a
nice meal followed by some picture taking with our waitress, it was off to Gwinnett Mall across the
street for some shopping.. Phoebe went straight to the sales racks to see if there was something she could
not live with out. I, on the other hand, went straight to the Clinique coulter to get the bare essentials that
would help me get through the weekend. Girls, if you are using a name brand makeup such as Clinique,
Ester Lauder, or Lancôme, it would be to your advantage to “register”your make up with the sales person
that you use. Since I could not remember the colors, Etc., the sales lady made a quick call back to the
’Boro” and with in 5 minutes she hade my whole set of colors. I was then able to pick and choose a few
items to help get me through the weekend with out spending and “arm and a leg” for a whole set of
makeup. Made this “girl” feel a lot better knowing I could again “put on my Face” in style. The only
disappointing thing was that Clinique had no free samples of any thing to give me even though I had
dropped about $70.00 there. They said they were just out of everything.
page 49
So You Think You Packed Everything (continued)
By Barbara Marie Davidson
After that, we went on to the “Wig Shop” there in the mall where I found a new “DOO” (look for my self)
there. I looked at 4 different wigs, trying on each one, and finally deciding on a shoulder length brunette
with highlights to wear. Both Phoebe and the sales lady agreed that my choice of the four was the best. I
bought it more to wear at home since my Barbara hair doo is almost the same as my “bubba” one and might
give me a little more freedom of movement at home. By the time we got done there it was almost time to
meet the girls at the Hotel. However, there was one more purchase that hat to be made. My hose and a
long run in it and we stopped at the hosiery counter where Phoebe introduced me to Silky Reflections Plus
2, Barely There, by Hanes. Again, Phoebe was right. I was using no nonsense queen size; however I am
now a firm believer in Hanes. They may cost a little more but are well worth the expense.
We then went on to the hotel where we met up with the girls and several new comers, in their “bubba”
mode, to our group. Every one thought that my “new DOO, added a lot to my appearance. After a lengthy
discussion, it was decided that it would be the Rock Bottom Café for dinner. This pleased both Eddie and
I as we had purchased their rewards card when we were there in December. Each of us had a $20,00 gift
certificate which was going to expire the end of February. No sure how much her dinner cost, but mine
was about $2.00 cash plus my certificate and the tip.
Saturday morning, after a quick shower, Barbara made her appearance using the pieced together Make up
set that I had gotten the day before. She looked a lot more presentable than she had the day before.. It
was then off to the hotel for the support meeting and a day in Lenox Mall. (Mall Walking /Window
Shopping) is another story. Before I left my brothers on Sunday, I decided that when I got home Sunday
afternoon, I was going put together a spare make up kit to leave at his house in case I ever forget it again.
When I return to Atlanta in March I will be carrying 2 make up kits and leaving the spare one in the
bedroom that I stay in while I am there. Thus was my experience at leaving something of importance at
home.
page 50
Of Interest To TGirls
By Pamela Ann Elliot
The Gal’s Spring Fling
Gananoque Ontario
2009
Up bright and early at 5:45 am, we were out the door by 6:30 for our trip to the 2009 spring
fling. This was our fourth time at the Gals Spring Fling and for this trip we decided to follow
map quest and our own G.P.S. From Sudbury we followed highway 69 to highway 12 that
went to Orillia and eventually to 401 at Port Hope then to Gananoque .The trip was very
scenic but also slow due to a large number of stop lights and of course the inevitable
construction projects. Arriving at 3:30 pm there was just enough time to get ready for the
evening s activities. First there was a nice red nail polish, then a quick shower and the make
up application. For the Friday evenings activities I wore my black leather slacks with a
matching top.
page 51
Of Interest To Tgirls (continued)
As there was a threat of rain we decided to drive to The Trinity Inn, but it was only a few
blocks away and could have easily walked there.The Inn was already filled with old friends
,some from Gender Mosaic in Ottawa and others from Xpressions in Toronto. We spent the
next hour chatting with old friends and meeting some new ones. There was also a welcome to
Gananoque by the business community. Then it was time for the evening meal. Judy and I
shared a table with Angela and Bonnie. Jacques, the proprietor of the Trinity Inn, made us
feel right at home in his lovely Inn. The food and service was excellent. This was a great way
to start the Gal s Spring Fling. In 2008 there were 11 for dinner this year we had 36 ladies
attending .After dinner we headed back to Blink bonnie pub for a night cap before retiring.
Friday
Up bright and early I dressed in my jeans and a black top and of course a nice pair of black
heels for a little tour of Gananoque..My first stop was at Thousand Island Nails, where I had
a manicure and pedicure this is a great way to relax after a long drive and set the mood for
the weekend activities. Returning to The Blink Bonnie Inn it was time to meet up with my
spouse and join the group for the short walk to the docks for a two and half hour boat cruise.
This cruise took us all around the Thousand Islands. We saw the places of the rich and
famous ,with a circle tour around Bolt Castle .This was a relaxing way to spend the afternoon
.In 2008 there were15 on the boat cruise this year there were 48. We spent the cruise
enjoying the weather scenery and most importantly renewing and meeting new friends. It was
great to chat with Bonnie and Angela as well as Shirley , Sylvia ,Karen ,Charlene , Connie,
Celia, also our good friends Susan and Dianne and all the new acquaintances.
page 52
After the cruise it was time for a short rest before getting ready for the evening activities.
After doing my make up I chose a brown dress from Piccadilly fashions and accented it with
a leopard top from Lane Bryant and of course a pair of matching spikes. The evening started
off a cocktail reception at the Blink Bonnie pub. Again it was great to see old friends such as
Joanne, Dorothy, Celia and of course meeting the new gals. At 7 pm we were shuttled by bus
to the Thousand Island Casino for dinner and a evening at the slot machines and card tables.
We dined with Valerie and Lenore as well as several new couples.
Jim and the casino staff put together an excellent meal and his staff was eager to meet and
serve us. After dinner we played the slots and eventually lost our limit before calling it a
night. Next day I heard that ,one of our American sisters Josephine had a good win and this
was her first time gambling .Her friend Michelle also gave the black Jack table a good run for
their money. The casino was packed and everybody seemed very accepting ,One lady said
she liked my heels and said she wished she could wear them that high. After we lost our
money we joined the crew for the short shuttle to the hotel and then retired for the night .I
guess we were still a little tired from our long drive the day before.
Saturday
Saturday started off with breakfast in the dining room. Then it was time for Wigapalooza
.The presentation had over three hundred wigs of various styles and colors. During the
presentation there were several models that tried on various styles and the participants could
judge for themselves which one was best. After the presentation the wigs were all available
for fittings and purchase. These wigs ranged in price from thirty to ninety dollars, an
incredible price. What colors do I use and where do I put them ? These questions and more
were answered by the girls from Shoppers Drug Mart. This make up presentation started at
10 am, and was a great chance to learn techniques from the pro s. Terry Ann the cosmetics
manager and her three assistants did a demonstration on the proper techniques of foundation
application. her model for this presentation was Angela. The product was Cover F .X.
page 53
At 11 am Michelle Blanc was the key note speaker ,she discussed her internet marketing and
how her transition affected her business. Michelle is very well known and respected in
Quebec as well as many other areas of the internet world. At 10 am the Spouse/ partner
discussion started ,this was a T.G. - free zone where the joys and trials of being in a
relationship with a transgendered person were discussed. The barbecue lunch was served in
the dining room instead of the court yard ,because the weather was on the cool side..Lunch
was served buffet style and consisted of hamburgers ,sausages and a variety of vegetables.
Then it was time for swimming and the best legs contest .Twenty six ladies strutted their
stuff at the Blink Bonnie swimming pool. After a demonstration on how to remove heels
properly the ladies did a circle of the pool ,showing off their bathing suits .The eventual
winner was Samantha Perle, second and third place went to Tina Mystique & Ashley Black.
Through out the afternoon and into the early evening the ladies from Wigapalooza and
Shoppers Drug Mart were busy adjusting wigs and doing make overs. During the day
everyone was able to get a series of professional photos taken by Arlene Cartwright . She is
an excellent photographer and would help you get that perfect poise. She and her spouse
were incredibly patient as she would take a series of photos in each of the weekend outfits,
then help you pick out the best.
Then it was time to get ready for the Gala. For the dinner dance I wore a dress purchased in
San Juan, Puerto Rico, It has a floral design and a built in crinoline ,with small shoulder
straps. Mayor Jim Garrah greeted the ladies with a warm welcome from the city of
Gananoque at the cocktail reception. Then it was time for the gala dinner and fashion show.
The Gala dinner consisted of prime rib, baked potato and vegetables. Dessert was chocolate
petit-fours and various fruits. After dinner it was time for the annual fashion show. The
models did their first walk through .While the models were changing Pamela Ann did her
interpretation of I Say a Little prayer by Dionne Warwick to a thunderous applause. After
the models did their final walk through, Sophia and her spouse did a Sonny and Char
number, called I got you Babe . Then the Disc Jockey and dancers took over the floor until
closing.
page 54
Sunday
The good Bye brunch ran from 9am to 11 am in the Blink Bonnie dining room. This was a
great chance to say our good by s, get all those email addresses, as well getting fortified for
the trip home. After discussing routes with Shirley we opted to do the 401 to Brock road
North then Hit the 407 to Vaughan ,then home .This route was about forty kilometers longer
,but an easier drive. Thanks for the great directions Shirley. As Amanda and Sophia stated all
the participants brought enthusiasm, positive attitude, support and a fun loving attitude. This
made for one of the best Spring fling yet. Attendance was 84, a huge increase, also more gals
made it a four day weekend. The sponsors were amazing ,the fashion show was sponsored by
Sears ,who supplied the models with several outfits. The models were all excellent, sorry I
can t remember everyone s name. The cosmetics manager Terry Ann Hare and her assistants
worked a very long day helping everyone look there best. Colio Estates provided a bottle of
wine for each room. The wine was called Girl s night out. Each year the Gal s Spring Fling
gets better ,don t miss next years. A excellent ,job well done Amanda and Sophia.
Pamela Ann
page 55
Pretty TGirl Members Then and Now
(Photos of how we looked when first dressing as a girl and how we look today)
Then
Today
We are always looking for photo’s of our members from when
they first started dressing and now. Please post them in the
group. We would love to put them in our magazine.
This could be you here!
Then
Today
We are always looking for photo’s of our members from when
they first started dressing and now. Please post them in the
group. We would love to put them in our magazine.
page 56
Recipes by Mollie Bell
page 57
Articles reprinted in Pretty TGirls Magazine have the approval of The Canadian
http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/transgender_transsexual.html
Signs: Self-Evaluation As Transgender
(by Brianna Austin)
~~~~~~
Over the past five years, not a day went by that I didn’t
recognize and evaluate my life as a TG. My most
profound insights came from getting out and
intermingling with all types of people, gay, straight,
trans, and tourists – they deserve a category of their
own, don’t they? Gaining clarity is not solely from how
people interact with us, but rather how we interact with
them -- in our varying and various degrees of
presentation. Did I act or feel different with people
depending on whether I presented myself as male or
female? The observations aided me in learning about
“who I am,” as a person in general, and as a
transgender person in particular
When lost, women are pragmatic enough to usually stop and ask directions or look for
signs. Do you?
Most of us seem to have at least begun on the gender discovery journey on similar
paths. Along the way we rejoice that first day when we realize that there are others in
the world just like us: we're not alone! Yet in large numbers, it also becomes more
apparent that "they" are sometimes “not the same as me.” Like most things in life,
there are varieties to everything, even transgender people. So while the mainstream
can barely comprehend us as a single group, it would scare the hell of them to know
that there are many branches to the gender tree.
page 58
(continued)
(by Brianna Austin)
~~~~~~
So, how can one know who they are or where they fit on that tree? First, it is
important to understand that you don't have to "be" any certain way, or fit into any
certain space. Unfortunately, most people, both in and outside the community get lost
if the box we supposedly belong to isn't outlined in chalk. My own journey has taken
me from one end of the gender spectrum to the other, in and out of various boxes,
and for me, although the discovery part of the journey was difficult, the knowing part
was harder.
What I mean by that is that once you find the answers to the questions you seek,
there is no more exploration needed; only for you to make a decision on how to live
the rest of your life based upon that which you have come to know. If the gender
journey was a highway we would all recognize many of the stops; “fetish lane”, “Cross
Dresser Ave”, “Gender Fluid Parkway” and Transsexual Road.” And although I got off
at the last exit so-to-speak, the gender journey isn’t really a roadway at all; it’s a
maze, that when you first enter doesn’t appear to have any clear directional signs.
However, when you look at the obvious from a slightly tilted perspective you begin to
see things you walked right past at an earlier time. You may be able to make some
distinctions based upon what you like to do, but that doesn’t necessarily represent
who you are. Discovering who you are is a deeper journey, one that you may or may
not want to make. Discovering who you “are” is complicated by the fact that the lines
are blurred and at the same time you often are also trying to untangle your sexual
orientation as well. “Am I a straight man that likes to cross dress, a gay man in
denial, a lesbian, or am I attracted to men because I’m a straight woman”? There are
as many combinations as there is imagination, and the deeper you go the more
complicated it becomes. So, one might ask, “How do I find my way”?
Since we emulate -- or in some cases feel we are – woman, we should follow their
example. When they find themselves in an unfamiliar place they simply stop and ask
directions, or follow the posted signs. Throughout the maze there are many people to
talk to, and signs to follow. But, like any one taking a survey can attest to, the
answers you get are only as good as the questions you ask.
page 59
(continued)
(by Brianna Austin)
~~~~~~
Some people aren’t really looking for the truth of them, but rather are looking to
validate the fantasy they’re chasing. If you are not open to the truth of who you are
and not willing to go wherever that path leads, then odds are you won’t see any of the
signs along the way. But, if you are open, then there are signs everywhere. No doubt
most of you have had, or thought about having, sex with men. Of those that do,
many will state that they only enjoy men “as a woman,” therefore they are straight.
Sometimes people can get so caught up in the label being “straight,” or “gay” that
they miss the substance and significance of what any of it means. If you're engaging
in sexual activity, then you should be asking yourself what it is that you’re enjoying
about it. Are you trying to “feel” more female by emulating what woman do? Are you
enjoying the sexual act – detached from the role it represents? Have you engaged in
sexual activity with a woman when you were emulating one? And if not, why? And if
so, then why do you need or want to have sex with men?
Other thoughts would include analyzing your attraction to woman. Do you want to be
with them in a lustful way, or do they simply catch your eye and make you feel fuzzy
inside because you appreciate and want to be them? Surprisingly, differentiating
between the two is not as easy as it sounds. When you are in a relationship with a
woman, do you find yourself critiquing her? Always checking out her clothes, her
movements, or her physical attributes: face, lips, legs, rear or shoulders? Perhaps you
are living vicariously through her, because in some way she is who you believe you
are (as a woman) or want to be.
These are questions that can last for years and require repeated investigation to find
an answer. But many times getting to the core of your sexual orientation can actually
help you determine your gender identity. When you concentrate your mind on one
thing clarity can suddenly appear for another. When you finally do get all the answers
about yourself, then all that will be left to decide is, “What do I do about it?
As always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
About the writer:
Brianna Austin is co-author of "I'd Do It Again," a free lance writer, and publisher of
TG Life, a website by, for and about the transgender community.
page 60
The following is a publication found on Gender Evolve. My
thanks to Michele Angelique for her permission to use
valuable TG information found on Gender Evolve.
Please check Gender Evolve out at www.genderevolve.com
Transgender Employment Solutions
(by Michele Angelique)
~~~~~~
Many transpeople find themselves changing employment at some point during their
transition. Often it’s been lamented that the only opportunities for t-people are in the
entertainment business. Obviously, this situation has to change. Unemployment can be a
source of added psychological stress during transition, a time which may already be fraught
with challenges. This issue must be addressed in order to find ways in which transgender
people can be financially secure, either through employment or entrepreneurialism. Let’s
examine various sides of the issue, and find progressive ways to facilitate solutions.
***
Trans-Friendly Employers
Whether or not to transition “in the workplace” is a question facing many transpeople. The
answer often depends upon the employer’s perceived tolerance toward such a change, the peer
culture within the workplace, and how financially dependant the transperson is upon the
employer. These factors lead many transpeople to remain “in the closet”, and live a double life
in which they attend work presenting a different gender than they spend the rest the time.
This condition leads to emotional stress and paranoia for the transperson that their employer
should learn of their secret. Unfortunately, many cases have told us that all too often this
fear is well-founded.
page 61
Transgender Employment Solutions… continued
~~~~~~
A close friend of mine was living the double life, and one evening she was spotted by some coworkers while out en femme. Within a week, not only had she lost her job, but word had
traveled to competing firms in the city which might have hired her. The result for her was to
be forced to start from scratch rebuilding a career in a different line of work altogether.
Another close friend decided not to live the double life anymore, and decided to come out to
her employer. On the surface, it seemed a risky revelation given that she works in a “manlyman” type of business, and 95% of her co-workers are blue-collar males. However, she decided
to have a meeting with her managers and tell them of her transgendered status and intent to
transition permanently. She explained that she would like to begin coming to work wearing
makeup and female clothing. The owners and management of the company were supportive of
her, and sanctioned the requested changes.
She has since been going to work looking incrementally more feminine, while always
remaining in the bounds of prudence. She dresses similarly to the women in her workplace, as
her goal is not to receive extra attention or be a distraction to others, but rather just to be
herself. She’s now happily doing just that. Her 50+ male co-workers have been respectful and
accepting, some have even asked sincere questions wanting to better understand her
transition. Her story gives me hope because sometimes an abundance of tolerance may exist in
places where we assume there would be none.
The problem is, it is difficult to determine whether a company will be trans-friendly or not,
until you take the plunge and ask the question. For some people, asking that question is just
too risky, so it never gets asked.
page 62
~~~~~~
I propose that we begin building a page on GenderEvolve that indicates the names of
companies known to be trans-friendly. We can collect t-friendly employer names from the
transgender community, and we can also contact companies and find out if they qualify to be
listed on our page. If anyone reading this knows of trans-friendly companies, please respond
in the comments section of this article or to [email protected] .
The Transgender at Work (TAW) project is a focal point for addressing workplace issues for
the transgendered. TAW provides resources for innovative employers who want to set their
company employment policies to help their transgendered employees to be at their most
productive, without spending energy hiding an important part of themselves and pretending
to be something they are not. Transgender at Work (TAW) focuses on voluntary cooperation
between employers and employees. While civil rights laws are important to understand, and
provide useful examples of language, advocacy for laws is outside the scope of TAW.
Resources for transgendered employees: http://www.tgender.net/taw/tg.html
***
Self-Employment Opportunities
The other career option for a transgender person is to become their own boss. This is the ideal
solution for maximum personal freedom. There is no reason a TG-owned business must be
based on, or have any relation to, transgenderism. There is no limit to the type, nature, scope
of business that a transgender person could undertake, it just depends upon individual skills,
visions, talents and financial resources to get started.
page 63
~~~~~~
The first question to ask yourself when thinking about starting your own business is “what
do I love?”. Think of what activities or causes make you the happiest. Ponder any and every
avenue that might enable you to do these things that you love, in the context of providing
valuable goods or services. If you can earn a living doing something you love, you will feel
like you’ve never worked a day in your life.
The next question to ask yourself is, “what am I good at?”. Any business that you own
should enable and challenge you to operate at your best. Honestly evaluate your strengths,
identify your top five strengths, and look for ways to build upon those. Similarly, identify
areas that may be required in your business but are not within your realm of skill, and think
about ways to support those areas. You may wish to partner with others, or hire consultants
to fill in the gaps.
The third question to ask yourself is, “who else would value these things?”. The types of
people that fall into this category are your potential customers. Think of ways you might be
able to get their attention with your product or service. Consider the demographics of these
potential customers, such as age range, income, family status, cultural genre, location, habits,
education, lifestyle, and preferences. Put yourself in their shoes, and imagine what might
compel you to make a buying decision.
Take the information you have gathered in the above three questions, and put them together.
You now have a basis for a potential self-employment business opportunity, and can begin
seeking to fill in the details. Here is a valuable resource portal to guide you through the rest
of the process of starting your own business. http://www.entrepreneur.com/bizstartups/
page 64
~~~~~~
In conclusion, many transgendered people may find the best solution
to be self-employment, although the transgender employment
situation is one which is bound to change over the coming years.
Employers will become more aware, and human resource policies will
be written that prevent discrimination against transgendered people,
in much the same way that sexual discrimination policies have
evolved to prevent harassment of women on the job. It is my hope
that we will be able to gather an ever growing list of trans-friendly
employer names to add to our special page on GenderEvolve.
page 65
Transgendered Conferences and Getaways
Ok, you’re a TGirl and you want to go out as a girl and be part of the community. Here is a
listing of some of the conferences and getaways available that are designed for TGirls! We
take no responsibility regarding the places listed, but they are or have been known to be
designed for and accepting of TGirls.
If you know of conferences/getaways that are TG-friendly, please let
me know at [email protected] Thanks!
•January:
First Event
http://www.tcne.org
•January:
TGSF Cotillion/Annual Debutante Ball San Francisco, CA
http://www.tgsy.org/events/cotillion.html
•February:
Colorado Gold Rush
http://www.gicofcolo.org/cgr/
•April:
Transgender
Philadelphia, PA
http”//transeventsusa.org/ifge/index.shtml
•April:
California Dreamin
http://www.california-dreamin.org/
San Jose, CA
•April:
Diva Las Vegas
http://www.geekbabe.com/div/
Las Vegas, NV
•April:
Eureka En-Femme Getaway
Eureka Springs, AK
http://www.femmegetaway.com/index.html
•May:
Esprit
http://www.espritconf.com/index.php
Port Angeles, WA
•May:
Be-All
http://www.be-all.org/
Chicago, IL
•June:
Sparkle
http://www.sparkle.org.uk/
Manchester, UK
•September: Southern Comfort Conference
http://www.scatl.org/
Eastern , MA
Denver, CO
Atlanta, GA
page 66
Transgendered Conferences and Getaways
Ok, you’re a TGirl and you want to go out as a girl and be part of the community. Here is a
listing of some of the conferences and getaways available that are designed for TGirls! We
take no responsibility regarding the places listed, but they are or have been known to be
designed for and accepting of TGirls.
If you know of conferences/getaways that are TG-friendly, please let
me know at [email protected] Thanks!
•October:
Defying Gravity Conference
Louisville, KY
http://www.transfamilydefyinggravity.net/programming.htm
•October:
Fantasia Fair
http://www.fantasiafair.org
•October:
GLBTIQ Conference
Worcester, MA
http://www.transcendingboundaries.org/
Provincetown, MA
•November: Tri-Ess Holiday En-Femme
http://geocities.com/tri_ess_ne/
Location Varies
•November: Lake Erie Gala
http://www.eriesisters.org/
Erie, PA
•November: An Alluring Affair
Canada
http://www.alluringaffair.ca/
•November: Fall Harvest
http://fallharvest.net/
Omaha, NE
page 67
Advertisements and Opportunities
Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here?
There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .
page 68
Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is
NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .
http://www.spellcosmetics.com/Home_Page.html
Elle
page 69
EnFemme Boutique is a VERY CD and GLBT friendly Ebay store. Nan is the wife of a
Transgendered person, and understands how difficult it can be for some to purchase items.
She started this store for CD, TV, TS and TG’s that do not go shopping in public, need help
with sizing, or finding certain items. It is a place where you can find items at reasonable
prices and ask questions without worry. All listing are PRIVATE listings, so no one will see
what you have purchased. Most are NEW With Tags and are 70 –90% OFF Retail Prices.
This is Nan’s way of supporting her spouse Amy and the T-Community.
http://stores.ebay.com/enfemme-boutique?refid=store
page 70
http://Glamourboutique.com
The Glamour Boutique is a terrific TG store. The original retail location is in Auburn, MA and
now has a Las Vegas retail locations! You can also order online. Can’t say enough about this lovely
store! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website!
http://Crazy4clipons.com
Crazy 4 Clipons is a terrific online place to discreetly buy clip on earrings at a very reasonable price.
They have a large variety to choose from and love to have TG customers! A discount is available to
Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website!
http://www.FemmeFever.com
FemmeFever : Karen has developed a wonderful site and TG resource! Along with coordinating many
TG events in the lower NY area, she has a store full of shopping opportunities online.
page 71
We're a transgender (GLBT, TG) friendly
boutique. Our store is located in Las Vegas,
NV, USA, where Amy and her staff provide
products and personalized services to help
you become "The Person You Always Wanted
To Be". The Just You Family have years of
experience transforming men into beautiful
women.
Amy: Amy was the manager of GB2 and is now the owner. She is a GG and a
wonderful supporter of TG girls of all varieties. She has a wealth of
experience with amateurs and professionals and is a tremendous talent with
makeup. She is one those special angels sent to help us. I will ask her if she
would like to write an article for a future magazine.
Sheila: For my part I simply look after her website as the
webmistress. Perhaps at some time I could also write an article (something
I have done from time to time). I do want to say that you have done a
wonderful job with the magazine and I look forward to reading the July
issue.
page 72
Welcome to crazydaizys
I carry a large selection of Sexy Shoes & Boots, Costume Footwear, Lingerie, Hosiery, Leather for Men &
Women, & more!
Your 1 stop shop for all your Favorite things!!
I have Storewide FREE! combined Shipping!
Save @ Crazy Daizys!
Dont see what you are looking for? Contact me!
I am still in the process of stocking my store.
Thank you for your patience!
http://www.crazydaizys.com/servlet/StoreFront
http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/hide.sleek/hs_menu.htm
Hide and Sleek
is a wonderful online shop with 2 physical store locations in Scotland as well.
Owned and run by Loraine (a gg) and also sponsors the Miss TV Scotland pageant every year.
page 73
Austin’s Angels … by Jamie Austin
I can’t say enough really terrific things about Jamie. Simply put, he works wonders. Careful
though, he has done such a wonderful job that several girls have seen how wonderfully beautiful
they can be that they have become full time girls! Jamie offers several different makeover
packages … well worth every penny girls !
http://www.austinsangels.com
http://www. countessascloset.com
This is a fabulous place for GG’s and TGirls alike. Countessa is a GG, former model, and a
terrific supporter of the Transgendered Community ! There is an online store and a physical
location in Studio City, California. More to follow about this great Lady and her offerings.
page 74
http://www.clcrv.com/
page 75
http://www.weaveofdreams.com
Weave of Dreams
is a terrific is a very new online TG store carrying many items for us
TGirls.It is run by Carol Deanna. It is worth the visit !
AngelWings Designs by Mary Beth
You really should checkout Mary Beth’s
products. She hand sews everything and has
lovely lingerie items and dresses, plus she is a doll
and very supportive of us TGirls !
http://www.angelwingsdesigns.com
page 76
Crossword
Answers
I will have another
crossword in next
month’s issue
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September 2009 Issue

Transcription

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