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Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Title
Issue 3 October/November 2010
FAMILIES
Get Empowered
INTERESTED IN NLP
What’s the story?
CORPORATE COACHING
Lands Work
MIND MAPS
Navigate your brain
POWER OF DECISION
A course in choice
REGULAR FEATURES
Events
Letters
Forums
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Editors Blog
Editors Blog
Welcome to iCoach Issue 3.
If you have missed previous editions then
simply go to ICOACHMAG.com and you will
find them there ready to download.
In this issue Maria V. Chatila shares her passion
for Coaching families. Tarek gives us some
insight into Neuro-Linguistic Programming
(NLP). In Corporate Coaching I explain how
ORSC Lands Work helped to build alignment
between Companies. Graham Moore, extols
the virtues of Mind Mapping, I’ve tried it I love
it. Lastly, my friend Ahmed Awaar is running
his acclaimed “Power of Decision” workshop
for the first time in Dubai in November so I
really hope you sign up for that.
Thank you for your feedback, please keep
writing in. If you would like to advertise
your services let me know. Also I welcome
your articles if you have the urge to write.
Remember to send to your colleagues and
friends.
To be on our mailing list please email
[email protected]
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Contributors
Contributors
Jackie Allinson (CPCC, ACC, ORSCer)
Jackie is the founder of www.Liferocks.ae, editor of ICoach, runs the Coaches meetup group in
Dubai and is co-developer of “Becoming a True Being” Workshop. Her goal is to promote the
profession and professionalism of Coaching. She works with both individual and corporate clients.
www.liferocks.ae
Maria V. Chatila (PGCE, ILM, ORSCer)
Maria is a freelance Education and Relationship Coach. Maria is a teacher turned coach and has
passion for families and children. Maria brings energy and creativity to her coaching as she strives
to achieve her best for her clients. [email protected]
Tarek (NLP)
Tarek is a master coach, hypnotherapist and NLP trainer. For the past few years he’s helped numerous
individuals break through limitations and achieve outstanding results they genuinely didn’t expect.
www.Tarekcoaching.com
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Contributors
Contributors
Graham Moore (NSAA)
Graham Moore is an international speaker, facilitator, executive coach and Buzan Licensed Instructor.
He is the only iMindMap Certified Trainer in the Middle East. In 2009 he was validated in the top 1%
of facilitators worldwide. www.MooreSuccessME.com
Ahmed El Aawar (CPCC, ACC, NLP)
Ahmed is a coach, public speaker and businessman with a passion for developing people and
achieving excellence. He is the creator of the workshop “The Power of Decision”, which he will be
running in Dubai in November with Monica Larrabeiti. www.lifecoachegypt.com
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Contents
Empower the Family
By Maria V. Chatila
NLP
By Tarek
Coaching Corporates
By Jackie Allinson
Mind Maps
by Graham Moore
The Power of Decision
By Ahmed Aawar
Contents
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Events
Events
CTI Training Courses
The Coaches Training Institute Dubai will begin the next round of Co-active Coaching Training
with Fundamentals on the14th – 16th of October and 4th - 6th November followed by
Fulfilment on 25th - 27th November. Register direct with the Coaches Training Institute www.
thecoachesdubai.com
PARENTOLOGY
The next Parentology course will be hosted in Dubai 7th - 9th October.
Contact [email protected]
ALCHEMY 3
Alchemy 3 will run in Istanbul 22nd-24th October. Contact [email protected]
BECOMING A TRUE BEING
The next True Being course will run on Saturday 9th October in Dubai. In one day learn
about authenticity, illusion, intention, presence, respondability, purpose and connection. Cost
AED1000. Contact [email protected]
POWER OF DECISION
Ahmed Aawar and Monica Larrabeiti are making a special visit to Dubai to run this 3 day workshop
at the CTI rooms in Knowledge Village 11th - 13th November. Don’t miss this opportunity. Cost:
AED3500. Early bird discounts of 15% by the 1st Oct and 10% by the 15th Oct. Register online
at www.lifecoachingegypt.com or contact Ahmed direct on [email protected]
If you have an event you would like to see advertised here please contact
[email protected] for details.
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Letters
In response to Issue 2 Article
COACHING AND THERAPY
I was delighted to see the latest ICOACH with
the topic of Coaching v Therapy: When to Refer.
I think this is a topic we all struggle with. I was
excited about some better insight. This article
turned out to be a primer, in my estimation,
good for beginners in either field: coaching or
counselling psychology, but does not address
the most frequently encountered circumstances,
that “grey area”.
What I refer to is the more difficult assessment
of a client’s not moving into action or appearing
to find coached solutions but not following
through, which may be the result of the
significant mental disorders outlined by the
article or not. Falling into the “not” category
would be the grey area of decision for the
coach. This category might include commonly
seen stress, mild anxiety or mild depression
(today called dysthymia) which show up as lack
of focus and concentration, irritability, irregular
daily patterns, mild addictions and others.
These kind of symptoms make it very difficult for
a coach to assess “when to refer”. Guidelines
for handling these far more frequent and less
clearly definable situations would be particularly
helpful. And yet by their very nature, they
perhaps defy guidelines. I wish I was smart
enough to suggest some. Perhaps someone
reading this is.
My real worry is that without such guidelines,
we as coaches leave ourselves at risk to the
consequential trap the article is intended to
address: when to refer.
Lastly, may I suggest that God forbid, the
reason for the client’s unresponsiveness to our
coaching may be a lack of chemistry with us
as coach, which WE must be the truth-sayer
to, not the client. A challenge of a different
kind but maybe stemming from similar causes
within ourselves. After all we ARE just human.
Thomas “Charlie” Matera
If you have a comment about any of our
articles we would love to hear from you.
Please contact [email protected].
Letters
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Empower the Family
Empower the
Family
by Maria V. Chatila
“Coaching started in the business world
to help stressed out executives cope with
their professional and personal lives, and it
still thrives in the corporate environment.
But, increasingly, individuals are turning to
coaches for help with every sort of problem.”
Diane White, Boston Globe
Life Coaching as a profession has become
ever increasingly popular throughout the
world. Why? Quite frankly, it works! As
coaches, we are trained to ask our clients
powerful questions that help them focus on
what is most important in their lives. We are
a skilled group of professionals that can help
people clear away the clutter and the mess
that is hindering their greatness. By far, the
profession we call Life Coaching has taken the
world by a storm and it is creating waves of
change in the lives of people from all walks
of life!
My passion has always been to see the
wonders and delight that children can offer
the world. So it was no wonder that after
my coaching training, I decided to marry the
two professions. As an educator, it was not
uncommon to hear parents complaining about
their children’s behaviour.
MY PARENTS NEVER LISTEN TO ME
Most often, the parents would plead with me
to speak to their son/daughter because they
would listen to me as their teacher more than
they would listen to them as their parents.
I believed then as I do now, the ability to
‘listen’ is truly the magic ingredient in any
relationship but most especially for a parent/
child relationship. Funnily enough, the most
common complaint I now get from children is;
‘my parents never listen to me’.
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Most clients seek out help because they feel
that they cannot strike a balance between
their work lives and their personal lives. One
of the biggest dilemmas for families of the
21st century is that the increase in the cost
of living has made dual working parents a
necessity. Also, the average family no longer
lives within close radius to their extended
families which have caused the need to hire
child carers that may or may not share similar
values to the family. Long working hours and
little time at home has added new levels of
stress and anxiety to the family life. This new
age stress has caused familial relationships
to be challenged on a daily basis so it comes
as no surprise that parents and children are
struggling to communicate.
ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS
In the past, parents would seek out help
from wise mothers and relatives. Today, it is
not uncommon for parents to reach out to
professionals for support and understanding.
Life Coaching can offer families brilliant
tools to succeed at home with the benefits
far out-reaching their familial relationships.
The two most precious tools one can offer
a struggling family are the skills of listening
to each other and asking the right questions.
Once these two tools are mastered, I believe
that clarifying values, setting family goals and
achieving the right balance will all flow easily
for them. The beauty of our profession is that
we know that we are not experts in the lives
of others, but we also know for certain that
our skills are effective.
Through the support of a Life Coach, families
have the ability to achieve fulfilment in
their relationships with each other and
with themselves. They are given hands-on
experiences with their learning that will offer
them the motivation they need to achieve
their personal best as a family and as an
individual.
LET THE MAGIC BEGIN
It is my belief that there are no broken families,
as there are no broken individuals. At times,
we may be misaligned with what is really
important to us and to our family unit. It is
with the skills of a Life Coach and the belief
that as individuals, we are experts in our own
lives. The magic begins when we combine the
two together.
Empower the Family
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
NLP
NLP
Imagine being able to effortlessly change your
unwanted behaviors and bad habits. Imagine
if you were able to do that not only to yourself
but for those around you. Now imagine if you
can do that simply by utilizing your language.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a
science that allows you to do just that. Simply
by using your language in a certain manner,
you’re able to change your experience of the
world around you. When you change your
experience your emotions change as a result.
When your emotions change, your behaviors
will follow. And when your behaviors change,
ultimately so will your results. This is why
when you use NLP to change your experience
you’re bound to produce what might seem to
be miraculous results.
NLP is a science that came out during the late
70’s when Richard Bandler and John Grinder,
decided to study a number of exceptional
therapists. They studied Milton Ericson, the
world’s foremost hypnotherapist, Virginia
Satir the world’s best family therapist and
Fritz Perls a great Gestalt therapist. Carefully
analyzing and modeling the language and
by Tarek
behavioral patterns of these extraordinary
therapists, Bandler and Grinder gave birth to
the psychology of excellence that we know
today as NLP.
By utilizing the tools of NLP we’re able to
change how someone perceives reality. For
example, a long time ago reality for the
population of earth was that if one travels
beyond certain point, their ship would fall
off and they’ll perish. That was a universal
fact accepted by everyone, except Columbus.
Thanks to Columbus we now know that
this wasn’t reality. It was what people at
that time perceived to be real. This example
serves to imply that our reality changes as our
perception does.
A more common example would be a lady
who had bad experiences with past romantic
relationships. As a result she decided that all
men are bad. This of course isn’t consensual
reality. It’s just her perception resulting from
her past experiences. So what would happen
when an NLP practitioner intervenes to shift
her perception? Her reality will as a result
change and she’s then able to explore new
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
and exciting possibilities just as Columbus
explored a new world.
In such interventions proficient NLP
practitioners would be literally reprogramming
your mind. If you’re wondering how this
happens, consider this simplistic example.
When you think of your favorite food, you
probably have an image that comes to mind.
This image could also be accompanied with
feelings, self talk, sounds etc. Equally when
you think of the worst food you could possibly
imagine eating, you’ll also have an image
that comes to mind associated with feelings,
self talk, sounds and so on. Now imagine if
we swapped the feelings over, and now the
feelings you experience thinking about your
favorite food are associated with the image of
the worst food. Using specific NLP tools and in
a matter of minutes you would end up either
disliking a food you like or liking a food you
dislike. Such mind reprogramming, of course,
isn’t just restricted to food.
For example similar principles could be
applied to the lady who thinks all men are
bad. By reprogramming how her mind stores
experience, memories, beliefs and decisions
a skillful NLP practitioner is able to shift her
perception of men allowing her to live an
experience rich life.
This is merely a single limited example to
illustrate the power of NLP. Scenarios where
this powerful science could be used are
boundless. You can apply it in almost every
aspect and area of your life be it in your
health, wealth or relationships.
NLP
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Coaching Corporates
Lands Work is an ORSC tool often used
to bring alignment within or between
Companies. The following is an example
of Lands Work in action. The names of the
Companies involved have been removed
to preserve client confidentiality.
Organisation X is a multinational company
and they have a project that requires the
participation of a primary Contractor (A)
and 3rd party Contractor (B). In addition
due diligence over the project is provided by
another entity called Oversight. Organisation
X have management control of the project,
Contractor A has responsibility for the
management of the project on site i.e. some
control over Contractor B. Contractor B has to
work closely with contractor A while fulfilling
the requirements of Organisation X. Oversight
has a responsibility to ensure that the project
is carried out safely and so is monitoring all
activities of both Contractors A and B.
Each of these different parties had a view of
the project. Organisation X wanted to get
alignment between the parties so Lands work
was used to facilitate the process.
by Jackie Allinson
Coaching Corporates
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Coaching Corporates
they observed that the other parties sometimes choose not to
listen”. Concerns were around planning, timing, scope change,
language and cultural barriers. There was a keenness for
integration as all Lands have the same goals.
In Oversight land the observation was that the project simply
involved a lot more work and therefore was something to
“face”. There was an expectation of strain on resources as there
would be more training, monitoring, paperwork etc. “As usual
Organisation X goes ahead with things without realising the
work that goes on behind the scenes. There is a lot to do and
we are the ones who have to walk the talk”.
ALIGNMENT
Representatives from each party were asked to gather
together in their own “Land” and describe it in terms of its
feeling, its outlook, its landscape and key distinguishing
features.
Organisation X land was one of both positivity and of apprehension
regarding the project. “The technology chosen is right for the
job and we hope that all will be able to celebrate success”.
Concerns were with regard to equipment, design standards,
personnel competency and contingency planning. The
apprehension was regarding the sheer amount of preparation
work that still had to be done.
In Contractor A land the participants were feeling additional
burden. Concerns were around interfaces between all parties,
new training requirements, equipment integrity, communications
during the project implementation and logistics. There was a
degree of resignation, “Here we go again, another request that we
never signed up for but we will get on with it like we always do”.
Contractor B land was one of hope and a desire to meet
Organisation X’s expectations. “We are confident in our abilities
and we are willing to communicate with all parties”, although
Once each Land had been identified, the occupiers of
each Land 1 were asked to step out of their Land while
the people from the other Lands (2, 3, 4) stepped into
Land 1. The objective of this exercise was that the people
from Lands 2, 3 & 4 could experience what Land 1 was
like. The original Land 1 occupiers are recognised and
seen, their challenges understood, their position felt.
Once the original Land 1 occupiers were satisfied that
their Land has been understood by the people of the
other Lands, we switched to the next Land and repeated
the process.
Lands work was observed to generate empathy for each of the
groups involved. Issues were aired in a non-adversarial manner.
Actions were generated to promote alignment. The really
interesting thing about this exercise was that in the final group
debrief, to discuss what the participants had learned, there was
a physical moving together (in proximity) which was magical
to see.
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
WORKSHOP - Becoming a
“TRUE BEING”
Achieving your highest existence in the
present with Jackie Allinson & Monica Fuste
Date: 9th October 2010
Time: 09.30 – 17.30
Location: Dubai
Cost: AED1000 (incl. lunch)
www.liferocks.ae or email: [email protected]
Advertisement
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Mind Maps
Mind Maps
As coaches, our primary role is that of
facilitating the way forward for the person
we are coaching. Of course, we do this by
first understanding what their needs are where they want to go and that may mean
helping them to define their goals.. Then we
help them explore the options available and
therefore the choices they can make. Then the
coach facilitates their move to commitment.
By Graham Moore
expressed in a way that can be seen logically
and at a glance.
As a tool for coaching, Mind Maps can:
- set out the overview of the coaching
process
- set out the coaching process for an agreed
outcome over a set period of time
Of course, there are different approaches and
many tools available for coaches.
- be used as a summary of each coaching
session
But what about Mind Maps? The process of
Mind Mapping was invented by Tony Buzan.
As a result of his extensive work, Tony is
regarded as the world authority on the mind
and Mind Maps are used by over 200 million
people.
Key elements of Mind Maps include a central
image (with 3 colours and an image showing
the subject of the Mind Map), branches of
different colours radiating organically from
the central image, one word (called a ‘basic
ordering idea’) on each branch, then subbranches leading out from the main branches,
each with one word. It’s also important to
include colours, images and graphics. Linear
expression of information, that which we’ve
traditionally been used to is BORING to the
human brain. It responds so positively to
visual, colourful and creative expression.
Done correctly, Mind Maps are designed to
replicate the way the brain works – organically,
creatively, without limiting possibilities and
with relevant ideas linked.
One of the key outcomes of the Mind Mapping
process is that it enables information to be
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Mind Maps
But you don’t have to be ‘artistic’. There are some very creative
mind maps which are works of art in their own right. However
Mind Maps that ‘follow the rules’ can be just as effective.
Software is available which will enable you to create a Mind
Map, save, share, insert photos, icons, and images. The Mind
Map can then be easily changed or developed further and, of
course, emailed. This example of a Mind Map which sets out
the coaching process, using the GROW model. At a glance, the
client can see what the process involves. With this example,
additional sub-branches can be added and there are branches
where information would be added as information is provided
by the client.
To add even more impact, after each coaching session the coach
can send a Mind Map to the client. The client is reminded, at a
glance, of what has taken place – and what he or she has to do
as a result of the session.
There are several software options and the one which was used
to create the Mind Map above is iMindMap, software developed
by Tony Buzan. If you’d like a free 7 day trial of the Mind Map
software, follow this link: www.ThinkBuzan.com/products/a_
id/4ba888136b312. Try it out and see how easy it is to use. The
link will also give you access to videos to help you try it out.
If you’d like more templates to use in your coaching
sessions, email me and I’d be happy to send you some :
[email protected].
Mind Maps are a powerful tool for coaching, even if you draw
them by hand, whichever coaching approach you use. Just
follow the rules.
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Power of Decision
The Power of Decision workshop uses Neuro Association Conditioning
(NAC) and Coaching techniques to raise self awareness and enable
powerful decision making. Learn how to control your internal Human
Master System for self motivation, peak performance and heightened
sense of fulfilment.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
The Power of Decision will raise your levels of Self Awareness. Using
the layer questions and practicing joint response you will discover
who you are. Self knowledge is the DNA of self enlightenment.
What to do with continuous blame? The Power of Decision will enable
you to accept yourself and motivate you to change! Self esteem is a
direct result of self acceptance.
What drives us in life? Our life forces are simply about “Avoiding
Pain” and “Gaining Pleasure”; We have biological nerve fibres (neural
pathways) that are actually continuously growing in our brains to link
any person, event, subject, experience (you name it) to either PAIN
or PLEASURE, thus we either strive for it or avoid it. The Power of
Decision will enable you to explore these links, test their accuracy and
learn how to grow them or diminish them.
By Ahmed Aawar
Its all in the marketing! Why does Pepsi uses Haifaa Wahby in their ads
though she might have never drunk Pepsi, why does P&G associate
using Pampers with being a caring and loving mother and why does
Vodaphone pays millions to stars to show off their products. This is
known as Neuro Association Conditioning. The Power of Decision will
help you discover how you are conditioned and with that knowledge
gain empowerment.
The Power of Decision with reveal to you your belief systems and core
value sets which act as your internal guidance system. They are linked
to habitual thinking and emotional responses. Learn what they are
and how they affect you.
You think you’ve got problems? Maybe this is because of learned
helplessness: Learned helplessness is your most destructive mindset
that results in you seeing problems as permanent. Find out how to
avoid Learned Helplessness and gain your freedom.
By taking control of your Human Master System you become able to
make super-evaluations of matters and issues related to both yourself
and other and by doing so, gain the freedom and power to make the
right decisions.
MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE TODAY
Power of Decision
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Forums
Forums
TRIADS - Jose De Heer runs Triads every Thursday 8.30 – 10am.
“Triading is a powerful self-improvement tool and a great way to (re)
connect to coaching and coaches. Coaches of any level are welcome”.
RSVP: [email protected]
Coaches and Leadership Meetup Group - This meetup group is
for Coaches, people in Coaching or Leadership Training and people
who are interested in becoming a Coach. It is a forum for sharing
ideas and making connections. http://www.meetup.com/Coachesand-Leadership-Meetup-Group/
NLP Coaching UAE Meetup Group – This meetup group is for
people interested in NLP or NLP Training. http://www.meetup.com/
Dubai-NLP-Coaching/
Coaches Exchange - This is a Networking and Support Group for
Certified Coaches run by Maria V. Chatila. Contact maria@bpacoach.
com for details of the next meeting.
CTI Community Meetings - This forum is for coaches trained or in
training with CTI for Co-active Coaching. Contact [email protected]
or [email protected] for details.
Issue 3 Oct/Nov 2010
Coaches Directory
Coaches Directory
Location
Niche
Email
Bahrain
Kevin Craig
Executive, Lifecoach
[email protected]
Executive, Lifecoach
[email protected]
Ghada Zakaria
Executive, Lifecoach
[email protected]
Jackie Allinson
Executive, Lifecoach
[email protected]
Shorouk Badawi
Executive, Lifecoach
[email protected]
Paul Donaghy
Lifecoach (In Training) +971 50 153 8529
Egypt
Ahmed Aawar
UAE
If you would like your name and details on this list please contact
[email protected]
www.icoachmag.com