Document 6562604

—
IMPHAL SUNDAY 12 OCTOBER 2014
SUNDAY
SPECIAL
—
6
Romantic jealousy - A restless spirit
Diaspora Speak
Dr Irengbam Mohendra Singh
Those who are quite bored
with the constitutional issues
dominating Manipuri politics,
apparently, grappling for ways
of saving Manipur, will need a
breath of fresh air.
All sorts of people have
taken to the streets to make
their voices heard. More often
than not, they cite their constitutional right to gather in
public places, without exceeding the legal limit and affecting
the rights of others.
The Government of Manipur has heard the public demand
and has been considering ways of dealing with it. We must
thank our democratic government of CM Ibobi. If there is any
person to do it, he is the one, as shown by his track records.
So, for a bit of respite I have an avuncular review of ‘Romantic jealousy’ just for you.
Let me begin with romantic love – the counterpart of
romantic jealousy - eternalised in Persian, by Omar Khayyam
(12th century) in the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam: “Underneath the Bough, A Jug of Wine, A Loaf of Bread – and Thou
Singing Beside me in the wilderness” – immortalised by
Edward FitzGerald in English literature (19th century).
Rubaiyat is a series of 4-line verses (quatrains). It’s similar
to Ghazal in Urdu that has series of 2-line verses (couplets),
usually songs of unrequited love (Bollywood songs). As an
example, a humorous Urdu couplet comes to my mind: Na
Ibadat me lazzat, na peene me maja; Yeh keisi hai jindagi, na
jina ya na marna – There is no fun in praying, nor is there
pleasure in drinking (alcohol); what kind of life is this, neither
living nor dead?
Omar - a Persian (Iranian) wrote Rubaiyat. He was also a
mathematician, astronomer and an early exponent of Algebra.
He was a hedonistic wine-lover. Rubaiyat advocated the pleasures of earthly life – wine, romance and song, and transience
of all things. Who would not be jealous of such a life? But
his idea of a romantic life was not as smooth sailing as that
desert idyll made out.
Romantic love is pure delusional Viagra, carrying with it
serious crumbs of jealousy. Jealousy is a very hurtful negative
feeling with varying intensities. Like love it’s difficult to
describe. You have to experience it. I had my experience only
once in my entire lifetime, many years ago, though luckily
only for 4-5 hours. It was like a burning, gnawing, knarling
sensation inside the chest.
Jealousy is a natural instinctive emotional reaction that
everyone experiences at one point or the other. Infants get
jealous and so do the elderly. Siblings get jealous. It’s a deepseated possessiveness, insecurity, inadequacy, shame or fear
that we can’t control.
A relationship infected with jealousy will soon become
bitter and self-destructive. According to Aristotle: “Jealousy is
both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is
base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get
good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his
neighbour to have them through envy.”
For my money, both of them can do the same harm.
However, there are some subtle differences. Jealousy is when
someone is trying to take what you have eg your girlfriend or
boyfriend; your wife or your husband. It requires a third party.
Envy is when you want what someone has eg your neighbour’s open Mercedes sports car or the Rolex watch. Jealousy
can cause havoc in somebody’s life as well as partner’s life.
A friend of mine – a woman (75) who is very Jealous of her
old husband, is now living in a life of pain and turmoil.
Frequent rows followed by a period of non-communication.
On a Valentine’s Day in 2003 in Texas, a woman killed
her husband in a “sudden passion”. She encountered her
husband in a hotel with his mistress. In a jealous rage she
drove her Mercedes car over and over again over his body.
She was sentenced to 20 years in jail.
About 20 years ago, a receptionist of mine in her early
thirties was struck with an uncontrollable jealousy and rage.
One night, while driving home from my surgery, she saw her
husband’s car in a pub car park. She turned around and
walked into the pub and saw her husband with a younger
woman drinking and flirting. Back home, late at night, they
had a terrible fight. Next evening after her work, she went to
a pub and picked up a man. She went to bed with him. She
told her husband. Eventually they were divorced.
It seems that all the romantic love they had since their first
meeting, showering each other with the common phrase ‘I
love you’ as if they were saying I love paratha or pizza, has
disappeared. Instead, the affected party has been filled with
romantic jealousy.
Romantic love unlike paratha or pizza, is conditional. Love
gets weather-beaten and rusty with the passage of time and
romance slackens. When a third party is involved, jealously
rears up its ugly head destroying soul and body.
Jealousy is used by William Shakespeare in Othello as a
term - “green-eyed monster”. Since then the colour green has
been associated with jealousy and envy, from which the expression “green with envy” is derived. Even four hundred
years after Shakespeare we have not rid of jealousy. It is so
old that in Christian mythology jealousy is also “a green-eyed
monster which mocks the meat that feeds on.”
The most heinous jealousy is ‘Romantic jealousy’ that is
here defined as a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions
which follow threats to self-esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship, when those threats are
generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction
between one’s partner and a rival.” (White, 1981, p. 24) .
Over the centuries, the stupefying energy generated by
romantic jealousy such as the burying alive of a young girl
Yairipok Thambalnu in a fish net in a river dam in Manipur
because of a courtier’s jealousy, has inspired poems, songs,
dramas and novels. After the War Manipur Dramatic Union
(MDU) staged Yairipok Thambalnu. I remember the actor
playing Thambalnu’s boyfriend seeing her in a handful of rice
he was about to eat and crying out.
In the mid 19th century, a few thinkers began to wonder
about the nature of jealousy. The most well-known was
Sigmund Freud. We have been taught Freud in our medical
college. His psychoanalytic theory was based on the principal
tenets of the “Id”, the “ego” and the “superego”.
Freud said that instincts are the ultimate cause of all behaviour. The two basic instincts are Eros (love) and the destructive
of death instinct. Sexuality such as infantile sexual trauma,
Oedipus complex provided the basis for his subsequent psycho analytic theory of human personality, which I now think
to be all codswallop. He also thought jealousy was a delusion
arising from excessive dependence and lack of self-esteem. He
postulated the existence of ‘libido’ – an energy that generates
erotic attachments and a death drive – the source of hate,
aggression, jealousy and neurotic guilt.
Freud’s theory is now discarded by many psychologists.
Now, new research is following in a different direction to find
the mystery of romantic jealousy.
Though a scientific definition of jealousy is very difficult
I believe in evolutionary terms, it is an innate module in our
brain based on Darwin’s theories of human behaviour. It
might have been instrumental in human fitness drive towards
survival in our ancestral environment.
According to evolutionary psychologists, jealousy about
infidelity, evolved a million or so years ago in African Savannah. A man had to guard constantly against unwittingly feeding
children who were fathered by someone else. And as men and
women had differing survival pressures, they think, the brains
of modern men and women were programmed to respond
differently to the infidelity of a romantic partner. Men have
became more jealous over their wives’ sexual infidelity.
Women have become more distressed by emotional betrayal,
which could leave them without resources.
Forget the hypotheses. They are for researchers. What’s
important to know is that jealously is self-detrimental in
whatever form your response. It is therefore, a good exercise
to learn to trust your partner. That needs self-confidence.
Easier said than done.
The writer is based in the UK
Email: [email protected]
Website: [email protected]
Agenda before the
All Political Parties Committee on ILP
Dr Khomdon Lisam
(Contd from previous issue)
This is the most important and most dangerous factor for
which our honourable MLAs and Ministers (Past and Present)
are doing everything possible to satisfy them. In order to
prevent this, we need to introduce a system of giving a special
Award to those ministers and MLAs who indulged in this
work and boycotting them. The Award and the boycott can
be declared in absentia after inviting the Awardee. If the
Hollywood can give award to the worst film of the year, we
may also give such lifetime achievement award to the
Honouable members (2) Politicians’ lack of will power and
interest in ILP (3) Corrupt government system leading to easy
access to fake Ration cards, Driving Licence, Birth certificates,
Domicile Certificates, Voters Card, BPL cards etc. (3) No
means of verification for extension of the validity of the ILP
(4) Local people’s aversion to manual jobs creating a void
which is filled up by outsiders and lack of work culture. (5)
Benami transactions. (6) Local people’s preference for cheap,
hardworking, mild and submissive outsiders as manual workers, labourers, masons, barbers, cobblers, carpenters, etc who
easily adapts to local conditions. (8) ILP- easily available,
encouraging corruption. (9) Difficulty in follow up and extension of ILP.
Possible Threat
The Government of India is trying to amend all the state
local laws to bring them in conformity with the new provisions under the Indian Constitution. They are presently
thinking to remove the Bengal Eastern Frontier Regulation,
1873 and the Chin Hill Regulations, 1896, which provide
special protection and safeguard for the peaceful existence of
the indigenous tribal people of North Eastern states .
Possible Provisions to be included in the new Law
1. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur, who entered Manipur before 21 January, 1972 (Statehood Day) will
be not be covered under this scheme.
2. Any citizen of India born in Manipur may be exempted from this scheme.
3. All categories of students are exempted from this
scheme
4. Officers from All India Service like IAS, IPS are
exempted from this scheme
5. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur, who entered Manipur after 21 January, 1972 (Statehood Day) will be
allowed to open Business Enterprises or shops only in the
name of indigenous people.
6. Any citizen of India, who want to enter Manipur for
as a tourist, on business or sports or cultural programme or
delegation for the conferences will have an Entry Permit
specifying the details as required on payment of requisite fees.
7. Ministers, MPs, MLAs from other states, International Tourists, International Delegates are exempted from this
scheme except under specific laws.
8. At least 50% of the members of the Manipur Chamber
of Commerce will be manned by local/ indigenous people.
9. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur who want
to work in Manipur should have a work permit specifying the
work for which he had to pay the requisite fees according to
the trade. The fees must be deposited as per rate fixed by the
Government for three years at a time.
10. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur working as
coolies, labourer in the market places shall have a serial no.
and he should display this serial no. as an armlet.
11. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur is not
eligible for professional training like MBBS, BDS, BE, ME
etc.
12. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur is not
eligible for jobs in any department in Manipur
13. All lower categories of staff (Non-Gazetted) either
employed or on deputation are covered under
14. Any citizen of India from outside Manipur who want
to invest in any business in Manipur with a bank balance of
Rupees five crores may be exempted from this scheme.
Possible Actions
The following suggestions / options maybe considered :1. The Bengal Eastern Frontier Regulation, 1873 is not yet
repealed and being implemented in three states. So the Government of India has the authority and competence to issue an
administrative order that the same regulation is being implemented in Manipur. The ILP is not meant for Tribal alone .So
one more attempt may be made requesting the Prime Minister
and the Home Minister to issue the administrative orders on
ILP in favour of Manipur.
2. If they are not willing to do anything citing the Article
19 /35 of the Indian Constitution, we can say that “the
Manipuris are minority among minorities In India. The whole
population of Manipur constitute hardly 0.2 % of the total
population of India. We do not want to become minority in
our home land, If you are not willing, the Chief Minister, his
MLAs and the people of Manipur will sit in Dharna in front
of Prime Minister’s office as done by Arvind Kejrwal when
he was the Chief Minister of Delhi. The Indian Constitution
does not forbid the Chief Minister sitting in Dharna". Thousands of Mamipuris will join the dharna.
3. If the Government of India say that the said regulation
is too old, we need a new law which is to be passed by the
Parliament, then we can mutually set a target date for considering amendment of Indian Constitution to remove the
constitutional discrimination against Manipuris. During the
last 65 years, we never ask for constitution amendment. No
Manipuri took part in the Constitutional debate of India. The
Indian Constitution was imposed on us after forceful merger
to India. The Indian Constitution is found extremely discriminatory and harmful to Manipur. It becomes the source of all
ethnic conflicts, disunity and disharmony among the ethnic
groups of Manipur. The Inner Line permit system should not
be the only reason for amendment of Indian Constitution.
There are many pressing and burning issues which needs to
be considered for amendment of Indian Constitution. We want
to propose for constitutional amendment in the following
areas :3.1. The whole state of Manipur should be declared as a
Hill State
3.2. All the ethnic groups in Manipur may be brought
under one uniform Land Law
3.3. The Article 3 of Indian Constitution regarding alteration of state boundaries shall not apply to Manipur to protect
the 2000 year old territorial integrity of Manipur
3.4. Inner Line Permit System should be introduced to
protect the rights, identity, customs, culture, traditions, religion, land, language, script, mineral resources of indigenous
people of Manipur.
3.5. The Representation of People Act-1951 should be
amended to ensure equal representation of States in the Rajya
Sabha as done in case of many democratic countries. The
number of Rajya Sabha seats for Manipur should be increased
to five.
3.6. The number of Lok Sabha seats should be made viable
by increasing the number of seats to six since the Anglo
Indians which has a population of hardly 350,000 were given
two Lok Sabha seats. Even if Shri Krishna becomes Manipur
MP, he will not be able to become Prime Minister under the
existing system.
3.7. The Meiteis should be included in the list of Scheduled
Tribes to restore the equality among all ethnic groups of
Manipur.
4. If the Government of India is still reluctant, then the
Manipur State Assembly under leadership of Hon’ble Chief
Minister may consider amendment of the Manipur Land Revenue Act-1960 to bring an uniform land laws for all ethnic
groups in Manipur. No migrant should be allowed to purchase
land without permission of the State Government. The purpose of ILP is only to prohibit the outsiders to purchase land.
The amendment of the Manipur Land Revenue Act-1960 will
fulfil that demand but that is not sufficient. But we need to
do many other things to address the issues mentioned above.
5. Migrants will be allowed to open a shop or business
enterprise only n the name of the local person.
6. At least 50% of the members of the Manipur Chamber
of Commerce will be, manned by local/ indigenous people.
7. The Manipur State Government should implement the
existing Foreigners Act-1946 vigorously. People encroaching
in the reserved forest and other areas should be evicted and
deported.
8. The Manipur State Government may consider introducing a system of Work
Permit according to the trade of the migrant worker with
specific fees, renewable every three years in addition to the
registration.
9.The Manipur State Assembly under leadership of
Hon’ble Chief Minister may consider enacting a new legislation for regularisation of entry of migrants from outside
Manipur incorporating sll the essential provisions cited above.
10. All the departments responsible for issue of ration
cads, BPL cards, Electoral roll or Voter ID, driving licence
should be trained and alerted to take up verification of Ration
cards, BPL cards, Driving Licenses, Domicile certificates,
Electoral Rolls of all constituencies before the next Assembly
Election
11. Deletion of illegal migrants and foreigners from the
electoral tolls of all constituencies of Manipur under the
Foreigners Act -1946 should be taken up immediately.
12. Complete Ban of purchase of land by outside migrants
and foreigners in Manipur without the approval of the Government.
13. The All Political Parties Committee on ILP may fully
utilise the services of the Law Department, Advocate General,
retired and current High Court Judges and eminent Lawyers
for drafting a BIl for enactment by the Manipur Sate Assembly in the forthcoming session incorporating the above
provisions. (Concluded)
The writer, Former Medical Superintendent, JNIMS and
Ex-Consultant, NACO. He can be reached at
[email protected]
Malala and Kailash are the hope of India-Pakistan to bring peace!
Khams Zotal
What a surprised moment
for both India-Pakistan sharing the Nobel Peace Prize
within the face of the whole
world even though a fired
exchange in the border! It’s a
sign for both the country to
talk for peace, struggle for
the same development and
promote good quality of education for our children.
This is never happening in
history of the world that both
India and Pakistan in the same
plate form and I think this is
a high change for Indian and
Pakistani to join in a common
struggle for education and
against extremism as mentioned by the Nobel
Committee statement.
We’re extremely happy for
prize awarded to the Child
Activists Malala Yousafzai
(Pakistan) and Kailash
Satyarthi (India) sharing the
Nobel Peace Prize 2014 for
‘their struggle against the
suppression of children and
for the right of all children to
education’.
Their commitment and
struggle for the better days
of every child has inspired
the young and old one across
the globe to take part in promoting the rights to
education for children. It reflects a great challenges to
the both school going children and parents to focus on
education and shows the important of education to
everyone life.
Yes, Education is the
rights for every children. We
must promote the quality of
education in our country in
both rural and urban areas.
Education should be for every
children and we must try to
reach to the unreached.
Although both the country
(Indo-Pakistan) still in exchanged of fire in the borders
due to a number of historical
and political events, it gives
us a new door to work peacefully for the development of
both nation. Why should we
still dream for a manmade
disaster while we’re taking
much precaution to prevent
natural disaster to happen?
Killing, murdering, destroying will never help for
the benefits of the nation.
Understanding, agreement
and positive dreams towards
peace will help for both the
country. If the amount that
has been spent in both side
to defense oneself in the
border is pour for the education,
many
children
should’ve benefits for their
entire life.
Children are the hope of
the nation; hope of the World,
we have a huge expectation
for both the Nobel winner
2014, to take initiative, focusing on the issues we’re facing
today and bring peace towards India-Pakistan. We’re
tired of reading the news killing in the border.
I would like to challenge
the whole world with the
quotes of the bravest girl in
the world @ Malala
Yousafzai ‘Destruction, Fear
and weaknesses die; Courageous,
Hope
and
Determination born’. Let our
conflicts and misunderstanding in the past in between the
two country be die and let
Peace, love, harmony be born
in between the two nation,
let’s share our love and humanity across the globe!
Modi’s Mantra for
good governance
Bonomali A
Good governance is what have been missing so long and
all the people are victims of misgovernance. So, the new
approach of the new PM is considered as welcomed change.
There are quite a good number of items in Modi’s agenda for
good governance, which I would like to highlight, but for
today, let me confine to a few master moves which are quite
appealing.
1. Control and supervise
One such move is the Modi’s scheme of electronic surveillance and biometrics attendance system, which is really a good
step towards good governance. Biometrics attendance system
has been in vogue in many developed countries, it is high time
that the same is introduced here too. He knows the importance
of the gigantic government machinery in taking the nation
forward and the miracle that they can deliver. Making the
bureaucrat important and making them feel important is one
good step towards good governance. At the same time, he has
been tough taskmaster, who would not tolerate lethargy and
nonsense. His model in Gujarat where he has been rewarding
hard workers was the success of his good governance in
Gujarat. My friends in Gujarat used have a lot of reverence
for him.
2. Give freedom to work
His second move was his plan to instil confidence to the
government servants to do the right things only and to call on
him in case of undue pressure from any quarter. It is a big
shot in the arm of demoralised bureaucrats who has been
maligned quite a lot and made whipping boy of the political
bosses for their unlawful whims. He knew that how was
governance during previous government. He is grateful because in last election, the bureaucrats stood solidly behind
him.
3. Pay them well
The seventh pay commission proposals are now known to
many of us, there is going to be quite a good increase in the
pay, to be comparable with corporate sector, that is really a
positive approach. Pay them well and let them work hard. Let
them be honest and sincere. The proposed conversion table
and new slabs are available in the public domain now. If it
gets accepted and implemented, it could be a balanced package.
4. Make use of experience
He also appreciates experience that is why he has chosen
well season aides. Age is no bar, with countries increased life
expectancy of 65 plus, raising the age of superannuation is no
serious issue (of course M/s Rahul Gandhi had different idea).
So, another likely recommendation is the enhancing the age of
superannuation to 65 as is in the case of University Grants
Commission, though there are some reservation in some
quarters who wants to limit the same at 62.
If we consider the life expectancy of the government servants alone, it will somewhere near 80, with the new Swachchh
Bharat programme, the life expectancy of common people also
is going to improve tremendously. So, I do not think that 62
or 65 should not be serious concern, but it is the intention of
the government. It is now time that this issue is given final
touch because it is time for the pay commission to finalise its
recommendation. So, let me place it before all stakeholders for
debate but I personally feel that this could be one good step
for incentivising for good governance. Of course, this is the
issue on which there was disagreement between bureaucrats
and the earlier government, the new dispensation has realised
it quite well. Why not, there is no dishonest bureaucracy; they
have been made so by the political bosses, by asking money
for appointments, transfer and postings, by making them
conduits and misusing their services, by nepotism and favouritism which have been rampant during previous dispensation.
5. Conclusion
We all know the role of conduct rule in governance, but
conduct rule alone is not enough to bring in good governance.
The initiatives from the Prime Minister are now clear. Let us
now make another beginning towards good governance. One
cannot remain in illusion that he will be soft on babus. He
could be very tough; we know he was not happy with the
punctuality of the government servants during the earlier
government. We can see, his four pronged approach takes
care of everything what a government servant expects, so let
us be prepared to give him what he expects of us. Let us all
join him in making India great.
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— WEEKEND POETRY —
Helen of Facebook
By Herojit Philem
Log-gin' in,
Log-gin' out
Helen of Facebook
In an angelic attire;
In the garden
Of Social Networkings
Plays
Hide and seek
With me.
Don't actually know
Who really she is,
The urge to chat
Knows her very well.
Gigantic watery bodies
Though
Divide our hearts
And souls shall unite never
The chain of poking
Links us.
SANGAI QUIZ
SANDEEP L
1. In the recent Asian Games, which Indian player’s
medal got upgraded from bronze to silver after one of her
competitor’s who finished ahead of her tested positive for
doping?
2. The recent Hong Kong pro-democracy protests
have been dubbed as?
3. Who is the winner of the Eagleburg Masters title
2014 (in Golf)?
4. Which bank has recently launched the cardless
cash withdrawal service across India?
5. What is the name of the ceasefire agreement
signed between pro-Russian rebels and Ukraine?
6. Who has been appointed as the special DirectorGeneral of National Investigation Agency?
7. What is the minimum mothly pension notified
recently by Labour Ministry for subscribers of the Employees’ Pension Scheme?
ANSWERS :
1. Manju Bala
2. Umbrella revolution.
3. Rashid Khan
4. ICICI
5. Minsk Agreement.
6. N.R. Wasan
7. Rs. 1000