I will not love you long time and other stories

I will not love you long
time and other stories
Gabby Malpas
Breathing Colours Gallery
446 Darling Street, Balmain, Sydney 2041
19 – 31 May 2015
Opening: 4-7pm Saturday, 23 May
A note on imagery and themes
Thank you for looking
This is my second exhibition communicating experiences and observations of my life as a transracial,
Asian adoptee (b NZ 1966). Some of the images are memories of my parents, some are narratives of life
experiences and observations. Some themes may make for some uncomfortable viewing but I try and
temper that by producing lavish, joyful images.
Most of the reference for imagery in this show are flowers that I remember from my mother’s garden in
Auckland, NZ but also the exotic plants I ‘discovered’ travelling in SE Asia, and the imagined garden of my
birth mother who I met for the first time in 2004.
The use of ceramics in my work is a nod to my original training as a potter in NZ. I have a love of pattern
and the motifs on Chinese blue and white, and Peranakan porcelain pieces have inspired me for years.
I will not love you long
time
watercolour, gouache and pencil on Arches
paper
Unframed size: 76cm x 57cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$2,800.00
Asian women have been ‘fetishised’ by
western society for decades. It has been
years since it was acceptable to view other
races in the same way yet this attitude
persists.
I will shamefully admit that I did nothing to
fight this when younger and probably even
enabled it in some cases.
However, I am speaking against it now – in
a gentle and engaging way. Not for myself
but for those who come after me. They
deserve better.
It’s also slightly bawdy: there’s no mistaking
the phallic nature of a hibiscus stamen and
the cheeky peaches on the ceramics - oooer
missus!
Colourblind
watercolour, collage and pencil on Arches
paper
Unframed size approx. 70cm x 110cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$4,800.00
A tongue-in-cheek title for an explosion of
colour.
This is a gentle rebuke on 'colour blindness',
especially around transracial adoptees. People
mean no harm when they say to us: "I don't see
colour“, but it's damaging because it's a denial
of our difference and our experiences. We have
and continue to have a completely different life
experience to those of our adoptive families but
also to other races who are in their own
families. We don't fit into either world easily
and once we reach adulthood and move away
from our safe environments we often get thrust
into a world of racism and hurt that we are
completely unprepared for.
Colour matters. Recognising that it does and
giving your child tools to navigate the world as a
person of colour is crucial.
Tigermum
watercolour, collage and pencil on Arches
paper
Unframed size approx. 75cm x 120cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$5,100.00
I have been increasingly annoyed at the
Western derision of ‘pushy’ Asian mothers
called: ‘Tigermums’. In my time, I have
meet some extremely pushy white mothers
yet they are never referred to with such
scorn – they are merely ‘ambitious’.
Many Asian parents I have met are more
concerned with their children growing up to
be good and productive members of society
though I noted ruefully, when showing up at
my stepdaughter’s parent-teachers’ evenings
the teachers eyed me very warily along with
the other Asian parents. My own
birthmother is definitely not of this type and
my adoptive mother was probably the
opposite!
This is a gentle rebuke of that label. The
tigerlily is a fleeting and pretty plant,
undeserving of a ferocious reputation.
Why can’t I be you?
watercolour, gouache and pencil on Arches
paper
Unframed size: 56cm x 76cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$2,800.00
It distressed and angered me when I came
across discrimination from other Asians when
travelling through SE Asia in 1988.
I must confess my own sense of ‘white privilege’
did nothing to help this. Backpacking Asians
were pretty much unheard of in those days and
travelling with a couple of white male friends
meant that I was not well received in a number
of places.
I experienced a massive culture shock when I
went to SE Asia. Suddenly, I was surrounded by
people who looked like me and white people
were the minority. I was fascinated and of
course, my brain went into overdrive with the
‘what if’ scenarios.
I looked like everyone else – but yet, I wasn’t like
them at all.
In my mother’s garden:
hydrangeas
watercolour, gouache and pencil on Arches
paper
Unframed size: 56cm x 76cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$2,800.00
My (adoptive), mother grew old fashioned
flowers at home and although the garden
wasn’t a great one, there were always cut
flowers in vases. Hydrangeas grew at one
side of the house seemingly without help and
I’ve always associated them with her.
The green apples are a reminder of a very
worm-eaten old apple tree we had in the
garden, the apples were only good for
stewing but we had a tyre, used as a swing
suspended from it for years.
The tablecloth design is adapted from
Spitalfield silk motifs from around 1700 – a
European contrast to the usual Indonesian
batik designs I use in my work.
As an adult adoptee I have worried about not
been ‘grateful’ enough though I know my
parents would not have viewed it that way.
The hydrangea is a symbol of love, gratitude,
and enlightenment.
Precious cargo
watercolour and pencil on Arches paper
57cm x 76cm
Unframed size: 56cm x 76cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$2,800.00
Opium has been used medicinally for thousands
of years but came to prominence with the ‘opium
wars’ of the 1800s. The rest is history – but with
two very different stories depending on who you
read.
They bloomed year after year in my mother’s
garden in Auckland. I did collect and eat some
opium when I was about 10 – I read about it in
National Geographic. Nothing happened except I
got a bit of a headache.
Blue and while Chinese porcelain pieces have
been exported all over the world for centuries and
are still highly prized by many.
The maneki neko cat also represents ‘trade’. It is a
gentle little good luck/wealth charm visible in
many Asian businesses. The Chinese teacup is a
little reminder of the war over the tea trade
Ching chong series: 1
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Arches paper
Unframed size: 24cm x 39cm
Presented in a white, painted wood
frame
$850.00
“Ching Chong, Ching Chong”
The chant haunts me to this day: I’ve heard
it just about every year since I can remember
and not just in English.
I seems silly to hold a grudge for so long but
it was another way of letting me know I
didn’t belong to the white world. Yet, I’ve
also received terrible racism and aggression
from other Asians so I’m reminded almost
everywhere that I ‘do not belong’ to either
world.
Chinese blue and white porcelain remains
sought after, expensive and popular… it
wasn’t that long ago however, you didn’t
want an actual Chinese person in your
house.
Ching chong series: 2
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Arches
paper
Unframed size: 24cm x 39cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$850.00
Teacups from Penang, google images and
artistic license. Dragon teapot from Vinnies
and artistic license
Ching chong series: 3
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Arches
paper
Unframed size: 24cm x 39cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$850.00
I first came across Peranakan ceramics when
backpacking through Malaysia and
Singapore in 1988. I was entranced by the
bright colours and floral patterns.
Peranakan porcelain ware was originally
intended for wedding celebrations and as
gifts to the bride. The peony and phoenix
are almost always used on these pieces
which contrasts to motifs found on classic
Chinese pieces.
Straits Chinese settled throughout the SE
Asia region. Over time they lost the Chinese
language skills and adapted to local customs
and lifestyles. Even though many did not
even speak Chinese, they were marked as
‘different’ to the local population.
Having been an immigrant twice in my life
and never really fitting into my surroundings
100%, I identify with them in some way.
Ching chong series: 4
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Arches
paper
Unframed size: 24cm x 39cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$850.00
The Peranakan ceramics in these images are
based on traditional items such as the
kamchengs: large tureens, often with
dog/lion head embellishments, teacups,
teapots and chupus: covered jars.
They nearly all carry the traditional peony
and phoenix (wedding significance), design
but a lot of artistic license has gone into the
patterns and colour combinations.
All the tea in China
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Antique
French legal document
Unframed size: 37cm x 25cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$830.00
Whenever visitors came to my parents’
house there was always tea and cake. Mum
baked every Friday and kept the cake tins
full for such eventualities.
The best china was used and there was a
formality to it – not as much as a tea
ceremony but the event was something to
look forward to.
Here is a selection of little teacups: some
have been bought in Asia, others on eBay or
in charity shops. A lot of artistic license has
been used.
Legalese
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Antique
French legal document
Unframed size: 34cm x 24cm
Presented in a white, lacquered frame
$820.00
One thing about my parents is they did not
differentiate between us – we were all their
children. I like to joke ‘we were all belted
equally’.
So it upset me to read in my mother’s will
that myself and my sister were referred to as
‘my adoptive children’: singled out as ‘other’.
My oldest sister took pains to tell me that
Mum wouldn’t have wanted that –she didn’t
like it either. It was simply legalese.
Nonetheless, it’s hurtful to be ‘othered’ in a
time of grieving and seems unnecessary in
these times.
The paper is page of an antique French legal
document (land sale agreement). My
mother grew nasturtiums down the side of
the house next to the dustbins.
Pantomime butterflies
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Antique
French legal document 1822
Unframed size: 37cm x 23cm
Presented in a black, lacquered frame
$820.00
This is a collection of fanciful ‘Chinese’
butterflies based on traditional images I’ve
found from various sources. I wanted to
show something so very ‘oriental’ against a
background of something very ‘European’.
The butterflies are very theatrical. You can
tell what they are but you wouldn’t ever see
one like it.
Butterflies symbolise long life, beauty and
elegance and also signify marital bliss if in
pairs.
Night and Day
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Antique
English ‘reckoning’ document
Unframed size: 38cm x 23.5cm
Presented in a white, lacquered frame
$850.00
My adoptive father was English – from
Leicester.
He came to NZ after sailing around the
Pacific for 6 years as a merchant seaman in
WWII. The England he left was a very
different I found in 1989. It is one of my
biggest regrets that I did not discuss this
with him in later life though our childhood
was peppered with stories of him in WWII
and we grew up on a diet of George Formby
and Ealing comedies amongst other
influences.
The moths and insects were chosen as
nocturnal and native to Australia.
The document is very ‘English’. Night-time
in Australia is daytime in England.
Chinoiserie lychees
watercolour, pencil and gouache on Antique
French legal document
Unframed size: 16cm x 22cm
Presented in a white, painted wood frame
$650.00
It’s amazing to think that such an exotic fruit
is grown in Australia. I’ve identified the
season in Sydney as around Chinese New
Year and my husband sends me out to
Marrickville every February, where the
sweetest and freshest fruits are to be found
in Sydney.
The very Asian fruit and tropical butterfly is
contrasted with the old copperplate writing
on the French document and is a tropical
counterfoil to those ‘antiquey’ images of
oranges, pears and apples you see in
upmarket homewares stores
In a Sydney garden
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Arches paper
Unframed size: 39cm 57xcm
Presented in a white, painted wooden
frame $1,350.00
My (adoptive), mother’s maiden name was
McMahon – and was a distant relative of
Michael McMahon of McMahon’s point in
Sydney… Her father’s family emigrated to
NZ from Sydney in 1900 so yes, there is
some Australian history in there too.
She loved flowers and grew many plants in
our garden, mostly from ‘slips’, bulbs and
cuttings given to her by friends. Plants were
rarely bought.
These flowers are commonplace in Sydney
gardens and I think if Mum lived here, she’d
have grown these too.
The Sydney tiger moths have been spotted
many times in my backyard.
In my mother’s garden
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Indian Khadi paper
Unframed size: 29cm x 42cm
Presented in a white, painted wooden
frame $900.00
My (adoptive), mother had a very old
fashioned garden with fuchsias, begonias,
dalhias, roses and salvias. I never paid
much attention to salvias as a child,
preferring the larger, showier blooms.
These days I can’t get enough of their wispy,
delicate stems and flowers though they don’t
really survive a Sydney summer.
I lived in Berkshire, UK for some years and
loved the gardens and woodlands I visited.
Salvias from the Epping cottage garden club
meet 2014
In my mother’s garden
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Indian Khadi paper
Unframed size: 29cm 42xcm
Presented in a white, painted wooden
frame $900.00
I had always imagined my birth mother, if
she was a gardener, to grow exotic plants in
a garden that was completely different to
ours. I learnt that she did garden – but only
because her husband liked it. Their garden
was also a fairly ordinary suburban garden.
Chrysanthemums were considered very
exotic in our house – usually only seen in
bouquets or plants given to other people.
The Chrysanthemum signifies intellectual
accomplishments, cleansing qualities, and
longevity of life. Buddhists use this flower as
offerings on altars because they symbolizes
powerful Yang energy. This flower attracts
good luck in the home. It is good to give old
people chrysanthemum flowers because they
symbolize strong life.
In my mother’s garden
watercolour, collage, pencil and gouache
on sewn Indian Khadi paper
Unframed size: 20cm 29xcm
Presented in a white, painted wooden
frame $750.00
I always imagined my birth mother to grow
something as exotic as orchids. She dos
grow them - though mostly from plants
given to her as gifts.
When I first started studying them in SE
Asia I was besotted with their shapes,
colours and wax-like structure. To me, they
were almost fantasy flowers.
I still haven’t lost that opinion – even
though you can pretty much buy an orchid
plant at the supermarket these days along
with your milk and cereal.
The Orchid is a symbol of perfection and
elegance. It represents integrity, nobility,
and friendship.
Penstemons
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Arches paper
Unframed size: 26cm 16xcm
Presented in a white, lacquered frame
$650.00
A cottage garden favourite. Penstemons
from Hillandale gardens and nursery,
Yetholme, NSW
Salvias
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Arches paper
Unframed size: 13.5cm 26xcm
Presented in a white, lacquered frame
$650.00
Salvias and harlequin bug from Hillandale
gardens and nursery, Yetholme, NSW
Fuchsias
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Arches paper
Unframed size: 25cm 16xcm
Presented in a white, lacquered frame
$650.00
Fuchsias stand for love in the language of
flowers.
These grew down the side of the house in
Auckland.
Fuchsias from Hillandale gardens and
nursery, Yetholme, NSW
Pink salvia
watercolour, pencil and gouache on
Arches paper
Unframed size: 14cm 34xcm
Presented in a white, lacquered frame
$600.00
Salvia from Hillandale gardens and nursery,
Yetholme, NSW