rl he article you are about to read I contains some

he article you are about to read
I contains some shocking and
d i s c o m f i t i n gi n s i g h t s a n d i n f o r m a t i o n ,
based primarilyon the voicesof the boys
a n d g i r l sw h o c a l lO u r P l a c et h e i rh o m e '
The worst thing for a parentto watch
i s a s o n o r d a u g h t e rs l i p p i n go f f t h e w a y
of life on which theY were nurtured,
passed down f rom generation to
generationall the way back to Har Sinai'
Bachurimor girls who leavethe familiar
world behind and begin consuming
a l c o h o l ,t a k i n g d r u g s- o r w o r s e i s a
p a i n f u ln i $ h t m a r ef o r a n YP a r e n t .
What is less understoodis that it is a
n i g h t m a r ef o r t h e Y o u t h sa s w e l l .
There are very few who reallYget to
see the depths of the souls of these
youths.The ones who do come to Know
t h e m a r e a b l e t o d o s o b e c a u s et h e Y
approach these Youths in a nonj u d g m e n t aw
l a y .W i t h o u tc o n d o n i n gt h e i r
acttons,they offer these youths a haven
of acceptance.
T h e s e o r g a n i z a t i o n so P e r a t e a w a y
f r o m t h e l i m e l i g h t .T h e Y d o n o t d o
rl
fundraising,
(cont.on page3l-)
30
l H a m o d i aM a g a z i n eA P r i l6 ' 2 0 0 9
. .;.
't,
ossi overcame any feelings of guilt
that might have troubled him bY
escaping from reality and trying out
,,
the next-generationdrugs, going from one
to the next. He graduated from
experimenting with them to becomitrg a
steady user and, as he founcl out one
evening, an addicted overuser' Hc came
home one night after trying out a new
narcotic feeling woozy. He plopped down
on his mother's empty bed and told his
father, "Ta,I feel like I'm going to die'"
His father, suspecting nothing untoward,
called Hatzoiah. Yossi was taken to the
hospital, diagnosed as having ingested rat
poison, and released.He hadn't realizedthat
the new drug was laced with rat poison'
That incident did not stop Yossi from
continuing to pursue his downward spiral
into the world of addiction which kept his
mincl in a haze and prevented him from
sinking into a sea of despair.His hardships
in school, his stifling relahonshiP with his
parents,and his personalconfusionovL'rthe
abusethat went untreated,all contribr-rtedto
his current situation.
Word got back to Yossi's parents that
a thing theY
their son was smoking
sensed was not done by yeshivah boys'
Yossi's father was a frightening figure even
in normal times, and to him these were not
normal times; his son was doing something
that other boys were not. Yossi's mother
fretted and shared her anxiety with her
friends and neighbors.
By the time Yossi was thirteen, neighbors
were whispering about his addictions, his
choice of ciothes, friends and language, and
his apparent inability to remain in a
yeshivah. They toid his parents, and
fireworks erupted. Yossi's father exploded
with rage and his mother panicked' He was
bundled off to a drug rehabilitationcenterin
Switzerland for three months, where he was
rnitiated into the depths of the underworld'
Cut off from Yiddishkeitduring that
period, Yossi did not go back to keeping
hnlachnhwhen he returned to the United
States.Instead,he re-emergedon tl-reface of
Brooklyn's sultry slreetsa new person, one
for whom life matterec-lso little that he was
ready to forfeit his own for the sake of a
little, momentary pleasure.
Such thoughts were going through
(cont.from page30)
into the building.
I'he furtiveness surrounding Our Place's
operation extends to the exterior of the
builcling that is its main venue. The signs on
Yossi's mind as he was standing and
the door offer no clue as to what really takes
smoking outside a nursing home owned by
place in the vast bowels of its interior. A
his uncle, when he met Tzvi Clancz, the man
placard outside the building irrvitesvisitors
who saved him from ihat fate.
who need help with matters ranging from
their immigration status to health-care and
schooling.
But someone who is authorized to enter
On a recent visit to the unpretentious
its doors and go into its basementshould be
nerve center of Our Place on Avenue M in
prepared to encounter anything.
Flatbush, I met the staff behind Our Place's
reputation as "the last line of defensebefore
boys hanging out
I make m)/ wav through the crowd of
outside and head
they go off Yiddishkett,"
as it was described
to me.
downstairs.
Ordinarily, Our Place, establishedfifteen
years ago by Rabbi Yitzchok Mitnick - who
small side rooms, where Our Place's band
Blaring music emanates from one of the
has since left to establish his own yeshivah
- and Rabbi Tzvi Glancz, is off-limits to the
practices. Boys are milling about watching
ry - only sports, I am told - playrng ping
pong or pool, or just talking. Mounds of
public. Even kids rvho have left yeshivah
but are deemed by Our Place'sRabbanim to
enrpty ptzza boxes decorate one corner of
the room, and there is atworkclut center on
be in danger of becoming worse from the
environment there are not allowed to steo
the.right, occupying almost half the hall.
don't engagein publicityand, until now,
havenot beenspotlighted
in the media.
In an exclusiveinterviewwilh Hamodia,
one such organization,
Our Place,lifted
that veil ever so slightlyfor the sake of its
f i n a n c i asl u r v i v a l .
There is more t0 this topic than meets
the eye. This firsthand report of a visit to
Our Placedoes not claimto answermany
of the troublingquestions
the articleraises,
norto addressthe problemsandtheirroots
from others' perspectives.
Hamodia has chosen to focus on this
heartwrenchingsubject, which has often
been swept underthe proverbialrug,after
extensiveconsultationswith Gedolim as
well as leading personalitiesintimately
involvedwith strayingyouth.
This topic has been coveredbefore;in
the November1999 issue of the Jewish
Observer,the monthlyjournal of thought
and opinionpublishedby Agudathlsraelof
America, a cover feature on the
phenomenonof kids-at-risk
appeared.The
leadarticle,titled"Children
on the Fringe...
and Beyond,"and other,similararticlesin
t h e s a m e p u b l i c a t i o n s, t i l l r e v e r b e r a t e
withinour community,
as theyshould.
I
I walk toward the room from where the
Hamodia Magazine 12 Nisan 5769 j
31_
/
t-,-
majorily of the noise is coming and find just
two people inside. The drummer looks at
me and smrles;he tums out to be one of the
counseiors. The other boy, totally absorbed
in his guitar playing, ignores me.
I go back into the main area. The whole,
giant room has a chilled out air about it. The
cavemous walls are decorated with pictures
of boys - and counselors,too, I suppose n. zany poses.
But the equipment all looks state of the
art. Moish Binik,, founder and proprietor of
KRM Supermarket - known as the Kollel
Store - in Boro Park, and a board member
T h e n o n d e s c r i pet n t r a n c et o O u r P l a c e .
of Our Place, tells me that when they first
opened, one Gadoladvised them to invest in
the best equipment.
"If you're doing it already, do it right,"
Mr. Binik quoted the Gadol."We went out
said Dovid. "Accept them for who they are."
Dovid says that the boys can tell if you
really love them unconditionally, and
dimensiory" to help the boYs.
Sony Perlman, the program director, says
that when they talk to the boys about
and got four [stateof the art] pool tables."
On the surface,it seemsthat the boys are
having fun in Our Place.We then head into
eventually many of them open uP to the
staff to discuss their issues."lt takes them
Yiddishkettin a nonjudgmental way, they
often respond. When the staff points out the
true hashkat'ah,he says, the boys react
a tiny side room not much larger than a
walk-in closet, which serves as the office,
he says.
and a completely different picture emerges'
Their staff tells me of depression gripping
the boys, attempted suicides, and the
feelings of despair that drive them to their
present state.
In the room are Dovid Glancz, a mental
health counselor; Rabbi Shimon Russel, the
one in charge of the therapists there; Sony
Perlman, Program Director; Moish Binik;
Tzvi Glancz; Rabbi Dovid Silverman; and
other staff members.
Dovid Glancz, who volunteers at Our
Place, explains what attracts the boys to
come here.
"The whole idea is acceptanceand love,"
time to open up and tell us their problems,"
And these boys all have Problems,
complex ones; often, their choices in life
make them angry with themselves and
that is done bY serving Hashem
others. The focus of their anger may be their
parents, rebbeim,or Hashem - or they are
simply apathetic;the life they now live is an
escape, I am told. Deep down, they may
want to leave their current existencebehrnd
and re-engage life anew. Coming to Our
no patting on the back," he says forcefully.
"There is no recogrution in this world for
your work." In no uncertain terms he
Place allows them an opportunity to re-enter
society slowly, at their own pace, if and
emphasizesthat anyone who wants to work
there for ulterior motives, "is out!"
when they are really readY.
Dovid was asked by his brother, Tzvi, to
join the staff three years ago, when he got his
degree in mental health. However, while he
The main thing is that the workers love
and understand the youths who come there.
This does not mean condoning their
is trained as a mental health counselor, his
approach at Our Place is different from the
settings,
"A mentorial relationship is not regular
therapy; we do not attempt to be objective,"
he says. "We have no Problem hying to
convince someone to be more relig-ious,"for
example, as a means of rehabilitation
behavior, he hastensto add. He explains his
methodology: "Just as I have my struggles, I
understand their struggles."
His approach, he says, is that while "we
understand what you are going through, it
is up to you to rectify it.
"Hashem caresabout chillul Shabbos
fand)
does
not
condone
il!"
he
exPlains
passionately."Whoever saysthat Hasherlr:'
a untrnn (One \44ro looks away from sint i.
practice.
plain wrong! Hashem caresabout you dorng
the mitzvos, but He understands the
Dovid says that not all the counselors are
professionally trained. "Most of the staff are
not trained - it's just pure heart," he says.
sfiuggles these kids go through."
\A/hile the usual effort the sta{f puts fortir
for these boys involves talking to lhern,
something he wouldn't do in his regular
( L - R )D o v i dG l a n c zS
, ovid
, o n y P e r l m a nD
" T^ r. a
! l v e s y o u a n .i d d e d
- .i.n. i.n. .qb )i r- r-s- t g
S i l v e r m aann, dM o i s hB i n i k .
l H a m o d i aM a g a z i n eA p r i l 6 , 2 0 0 9
And
through all the struggles.
Tzvi Glancz described what he looks for
in a volunteer for the organization. "There is
way he would practice in other professional
32
positively.
"We tell them that we believe we have to
rarse gashmiusto a higher level," he says.
counseling, thereapy, rehab ancl so on,
/\-.
sometimes these efforts include more
we've taken out loans that are already
doesn't appear to fit in with the scenethere.
drama, such as baiiing them out of prison,
taking them to hospitals and - in rare cases
- performing ihe ultimate chessed.
overdue."
With his small beard, curly peyosbehind his
The directors had made it clear to me that
thev only granted this interview since Our
ears and conversation interspersed with
"baruch Hashem," he looks nothing like the
Piacesnow facesa severemoney crisis.
others at the center.
"I myself buried nine kids," says Tzvi.
Our Place has a million-dollar budget,
9
s
@
now
Moish
Binik
Yossi Milgrom has come to meet with us.
In short, clipped sentences Yossi
describeshis former li{e - from his going to
explains Glancz, its current director. Until
described his
initial
that budget was covered by
combination
of
government
a
funding,
Eretz Yisrael to leam in Neve Yaakov, his
encounter with Tzvi.
"l \4'ascoming out of my store talking to
him," says Mr. Binik. "He was trying to
convince me to get rrvolved in ... Our Place,
but those are to be discontinued soon,
when I asked him to tell me who are the
recipients of Our Place'sventure.
"He tells ffie, 'You see those boys
wamed one staff member ominously.
"l don't know if there will be more
[events]," said Moish Binik. "We don't have
at age twelve."
standing there?' I looked and saw a group of
teenagers half a block away hangrng out.
'They
are our boys.' I told him right away
that I would join."
the money to pay for tt."
losing his best years; he sought nothing rn
private donations and volunteer work.
sordid adventures there, his days and weeks
A sigruficant part of the budget goes to
spent out cold, unfeeling, as he took one
pay for the varying forms of entertainment,
drug and then another.
" At age tweive I was smoking," he says.
" At age twelve I was out of yeshivah - all
No
less worrisome is that therapy
sessionswere suspended - hopefuliy only
Yossi did not care back then that he was
life. He relates a conversation he had with
someone who attempted to convince him of
Brothers," and also helps them out with
for the next fwo or three months, when
fundurg will resume.
"l can always find new therapists," says
Glancz, "but I cannot restart the place once it
hated the most was when people would tell
loans.
closesdown."
me that I was going to die. I wanted io die; I
Mr. Binik became, in addition to sitting
on Our Place's board, one of their "Big
"Most are from hemishehomes, from
every school," says Mr. Binik. "At some
point they sfrayed. They're not doing any
drugs [while coming here]. We're the last
place before they get out of the Jewish
community, Th"y come here to schmooze,
to connect with Yiddishkeit.They come here
to be loved and not judged. And they get it
here."
"The only way you can get to these boys
is by loving them," he stresses.
Asked why he choseto team up with this
organizatiory Mr. Binik replies simply. "l tell
the boys who come here, 'lf I were yow age
I might be here (in Our Place)myself."'
Mr. Binik stays behind as the others
gradually drift out, telling me about the
various activities Our Place has over the
course of the year. He tells of the
Shabbatons, the
trips
to
Israel
and
elsewhere, the barbecues.I see picfures of
Our Place boys on a trip to Israel, where the
counselorsact as rowdy as the boys.
"When is the next activity?" I ask.
"Would I be able to come along and report
on it?"
"I don't know," answers Mr. Binik. "The
st#f hasn't been paid in eight weeks, and
The main cause of this preciptious drop
the dangers of drug use.
"'You're going to die,' he tells me," Yossi
repeated contemptuously. "The thing I
didn't care if I would live or not."
in funding is the economic crisis gripping
Drug use takes away the ability to feel
state and city governments. Various city and
any emotion, said Yossi,
"Someone would teil me that someone
just died, and it was like,'Oh, wow' ... I told
state youth agencies provide up to mne$
percent of Our Place's budget, with the
remainder coming from private donations.
That subsidy has been slashed to only 62
one person that we're all going to die, but I
wouid have fun before then."
percent, as part of the city and state budget
\44ren he was in Eretz Yisrael, said Yossi,
cuts. The missing $250,000 makes ail the
di{ference in an organization such as Our
his life was so bewildering and gray that he
once thought Shabboswas on a Tuesday -
Place, which
together with
has operated below the
all his friends. He only
community's radar since its inception.
drscovered it was not Shabbos when the
These money woes did not seem to affect
one rveekly Our Place ritual. As we are
talking I hear a huge roar emerge from the
main hall outside. "That's the Thursday
mashgiachcame in to their room and they
hurriedly extinguished their cigarettes.
"Why
aren't you smoking?" the
rught cholent," explainsTzvi.
I step outside to watch a circle of boys
surrounding a hot cholent pot. I go over to
take a "before" picture of the full pot.
I don't have to wait lone to take the
" s{frtr"
nirfrrrc
Y r ! ! q r r .
mashgiach,who knew his charges, asked
dryly "!Vhat's going on?"
It took him
nnl.r
"'" l
a
minrrlo
to catch on.
"He said, 'lt's
o
n
l
Tuesday
As we sit in a private office off Our
Place's workout center, a smiling
hventy-year-old walks in. He
A n O u r P l a c ec o u n s e l o ra t t h e d r u m s i n t h e m u s i c r o o m .
y
/
l
today,"' Yossi explains."We were, like,'Oh,
its Tuesday (laughing)."'
Yossi then worked rn a hostelry in Eilat,
then a butcher shop in Yerushalayim,
among other jobs - all while taking drugs
and feeding his addiction to painkillers.
"l was like a dead person," he says of that
saying
"The
gqes,
l'.t"'Darnage
treesdown
included'numerous
.,, and largetree limbs
locationb
in,'VariOus
I vfr
r
ri!.nry
I [/!!
NY
.16&
!i
d,nn!
rh.
[rd(u$!J
h.
&
tril.
6!
$
outrundns
describgsthe boYsand
e p r i l6 , 2 0 0 9
3 4 i H a m o d i aM a g a z i n A
d.
(),'
qnkd
hvtrh.r
Mthn.
.ou6ug..
!orL,
dr
nnl
P{!.
,.tru,
k't
bs
RJ'h!
s]
Jon
nn
tcuuu'3
stu'o"
!!
L'
s I
i rrun
h
iltr(
arJd(r
chd
& [<pLU
A'!i'
h<kq
| &rnl
rh'nr
Lr'!
u
period. "We had no life."
Yossi then tells of the meehng with the
man who saved his life.
"At thirteen I met the one who runs this
place," said Yossi.
"l was standing outside a nursing home
owned by -y uncle, smoking a cigarette. It
must have looked pathehc - a liftle kid
smoking - when he came over to me to ask
me if everything was ail right."
That person struck up a conversationand
"got on my case," said Yossi. "He started
calling me every day asking,'How are you?
Are you okay? Let me know if You need
anything.' Every day the same thing,'How
are you? Are you okay? Let me know if you
b" 'n<
nPcnld
J'qn]
e
rr Brmtrlo'
!idr(n
Ru$A]
fiI6]!!o(sri4'hgltrtilrild''^
u/r
n4]
Mrd
3r'"
t'rr3<'
rrtugltg
nrJ
5tr't"lo'!
rn rlcn
antr P[.a
ol
d!..to,
v')'l
nill!
lrll'i'd
PU..
po$nilI
l(.Duon
!o
h.
tr) clolrd.
halachahdltd Rabbanimdictate their
beliestheir
Theircurrentlifestyle
decisions.
yearningfor a stronghandto guidethem
backontothe properpath.Theircomingto
theirdeepdesiresto
OurPlaceunderscores
returntotheirroots.
Our Placeis not the onlyplacedealing
with theseyouths;someten yearsa$o Ohr
Yitzchok
wasopenedbytwobrothers,'RbOois
after
Shmuel and PinchosWallerstein,
differencesof opinionwith
0ur Placeoverthe amountof
that should be
Yiddishkeit'
intothe Program.
introduced
It has many of the same
along
programs
as OurPlace,
anddavening,
withshiurlm,
"The
Garage" on
underthe
Avenue,
MoDonald
Mi shkan
of
auppi cgs
the same
Yechezkel
that $aveus Eitzah,
umbrella
Mekimiandmore
Tzetzaeinu,
- catersto the Boro Park
crowd.
Mattisyahu
Harav
Salamon,sh/ita,mash$ach
of BethMedrashGovohaof
N.J.,and Harav
Lakewood,
YisraelBelsky,shlita,Rosh
Yeshivahof TorahVodaas,
both wrotestronglettersof
'
'
supportfor OurPlace.
I' ;16ur' :.P l ace'successes
sl
:beeh'
the heavy
amaiingiionsidering
hav6
'boys
burdenot'faituie,th'dseu'nfortunate
havebeenbearing,"wrotethe mash$iach.
and self"By restorin$
their''self-confidence
have
leaders
and
respect,the counselors
corner
gotten.manyindividuals
to turn the
and retreivetheir birthrlghtas ehrliche
YiddenandevenBneiTorah."
HaravYisraelBelskyatteststo the fact
success.
0ur Place's
that,hehaswitnessed
"l have personallyvisitedthe boys'
l o c a ti on,"he w ri tes," and w as deeP l Y
impressedby the carin$ and attention
children"'
Iavished
onthese,ourstru€€lling
'
r''
lv[tu^3
need anythirrgl"
here or rn Eretz
"Wherever I was
me
and iust ask me,
call
would
Yisrael he
'You need anything? You need any money?
Call me if you need anYthingl"'
Tzvi tells me a{terward that it wasn't a
one-minute call, as Yossi indicated' He
would sometimes spend an hour on the
phone with Yossi,just talking.
ln the tneantime, Yossi goes on, things
were ;ust getting worse. In Eretz Yisrael he
supported his drug habit by selhng drugs
and gambling. He made some money but
then lost it again in a gambling bout.
And the daily phone calls continued.
Yossi says that eventually Tzvi convinced
him to go for help, which brought him to
where he is today.
Presentiy, we hear knocking on the tiny
indoor window separahng our intervtew
room from the workout center.Yossi'ssister
is calling him to sav that l-ris wi,fe of two
weeks is waiting for him outside. He had
promised to be out already.
His wife, who went through Our Place's
girl's division, would understand if I asked
him one more question.
"Now that You're lnarried," I ask Yossi,
"what do vou plan on dorng so that You
don't pass on vour hard life to the next
I
which he declined to reveai, to which he was
not given answers' His anger grew until he
decided that he could not take what
he
considered to be hypocrisy any longer'
"l decided one night that I'm
running
away from my house," Moishv stated
mafter-of-fact1y.
Easiersaid than done, he soon found out.
He met up with a
Sroup of friends and
enjoygcl thef company' Thev spent hours
Dovid Gtancz ur;_M;irh;;_;
workoutroom.
underthe rrainlracksdrrnkrngand whiling
awaytheirtime'
the
more confrontationally by the week. It took
many weeks of coming before he finally
showed up in a traditional shabbos suit and many years of weekly sfudy for the
education-deprived
tlloisrry to finish
maseches
Chagigah,Theyhave since started a
new masechta.
Today Moishy iooks like a typical
yeshivah bachur,except that his past gives
him a unique perspectrve on life others will
neverhave.
r*:"lffiT.l":'""*#;T"t
ffffi:#Tffii#d?irt
i:ir*,, *::'o*#
ri,^''rs:
emotional outburst that calls forth his
everybody there He was schmoozingwith
deepestfeelings on society'sfoibles
the group under the tracks in a s-urreal
"\ y'henI was in EretzYisrael" he
says,"l
ra"ruorua. if it were normal to conversein
used to go to families of baqlei teshuaqh,
the middle o{ the nighi,rring tt Mra u, u
people who becamereligious becausethey
"
roof.
believed
in it r startldrealJing.
that
rhemanrecosnized
a.n;wflcernthe ;m*ffit;j,:l,i'JJ';:H;*"1il
Yiddisrkei, was true at their house. I saw
how the wives would dressup at home,not
..
crowd and cameo"verto ask him his name.
,,Do
you need any money?,,he asked.
runny ho* lrut ui u knackfor askinglust
saw how [the spouses]
I
;g"l*"ff::
program, so the starf raunchedour placefor
6.ri v""r-' *-u*,i-'*
the boys, division,
it is run by shifra Glancz, Tzvi,s wife. one
strict r,,le they instituted almost
;;;l;,;;r.
ii"t" *"r" obvrously not interested in
poor *a io.iouts, so their ptace was
tn"ultnirll#'l;"
yossi
savs
rhat
today
hereads
arurrinins
ansry
at.,rhe
sysiem,,:,:'Ti*1,-t",1""T;#Tj.r.tfT::'"7
n"
thatit is still full oi a,.d reacted
.";lt;;
"o*s
i*orifl;.tn
"[Peopre]
rookat menow,"he savs
the srranger's available,but it mostly is a
sociaiprace
"Do vou needanvthint?,,the man q;i:*:l#";#-#ti"il*r:i:
optimistically. "BarachHashem,I'mmanied,,
'#Y\::^,i;,^,tl*T:iT:';:lpersisted.
crnica"v,
' ;::l;:""::fi13fii"i15,t"";:;;
*;i"i;,x"-- Moishv
aspromptrv,
rhe
maranswered,
ffi:i:'#*'il:#'"Ti;"llJf;"ifJ
ff111""'#i'#*#ff"''hu'vo" Just
yossi
wants
toherp
others
who
are
'r_the
* *u,^" ff::fiT,il*T#rTnT **"ff
situation he was ir! to pull themselvesout lt
;iTlifi"',il,i,.i1ff
"so I said I wanted to ream with hirn
is a theme heard over and over asain by Our
Placegraduates.
somearealreadv
doingthat - like
Moithy Ruub*
.
.
the
hardest time of th" _e"k ico,rta truol of _
ShabbosaJtemoon.,,
.
uoi"r,y *u, surprisedwhen his ,a"'Ht"tfl"til;*:*ilf",,'*fft;;
chalienge"was or,."al,Jy
accepted.He
yr'as in the man,s house that,shabbos
.
went unarswered. she was pushed into a
[festyle she didrlt underutandor believein.
we haveto rivelike this?,,
AJtergoingthrougna tortuouslew yeats,
Raab,
a24-vear-ord."n"
o::":l $fil?:T:X"'iJ1ii,?l*il',Ti ":,:*;ti*jf",tr;{"""
. Mor,shl
chalenge
*uough our place a few years ba& ard
loday works there as a volunteer, glossed
rver the downward drift he had asayoung
:eenagetfocusing mainly on his cormection
^,'ithTzvi Glancz.
even more dil";:nt.o:":r:o
as
prorro"a'tirrery u, poJr".-;',
didnrt look
very shabbosd&" he said, in a tone
suggestingit was an unde$tatement.
:
keeps you away from the crazy outside
*o.ld,i
saij in a terephoneinterview
"h"
wirh Hamodia.,,It,ust wasn,t explainedto
me.,,
,Moishy
"r ulas
says,
creariy
.a'..,
^,."**;11,""*#::"?ffil,,TJ"ii:
"dsffiil:::x"#J,'iJl$::ff
rooked
askance
athimrorbrinsing
such
;::y;":1TT:ff:J'::1*il:o'as
'---- -r--Jt
Iashem.,,
at
Suest Glancziust ignoredthem.
Moishy
had
yirtdisttkeit,
questions
about
n"J"'t:l:;T;;1"":lTl":"":?il:i
a
sheconsidered
h]?octicar.
Esti felt she could not just live by rules
;:;"1rrff;ff1*;ffTff1,1y
Hamodia Magazine 12 Nisan
57691
35
night, the grrls' is open only twice a week'
An average night seesfifteen to twenty girls
taking hip-hop dancing classesor just sitting
together discussing their lives.
"lt's like a familv," Esti says' "l fecl like
I'm at home there.The stuff n'e do just gn'es
us the confidenceto go on."
\A4riieshe says that it can sometimes be a
struggle not to return to her old life "just for
The pool room.
kashrus standards, eventually dropping all
standards entirely' Shabbos was next,
followed closely by everything else'
By the time she turned seventeen, Esti
confessed,"l was living hke a goY'"
She moved in with some non-Jews' "I just
didn't want any Jews around to tell me what
to do," she said. She cut off all contact with
her parents, along with any reminder of her
former life.
Esti got drawn into drugs from her new
non-Jewish friends.
"I didn't know who I was," she
confessed. "l had no hope for myself' I
thought that some people are just not meant
to be Jewish."
\A4renEsti tumed nineteen she finally felt
she was readY to start coming back'
"I felt emptiness," she said. "I just didn't
know what to do' I didn't want to live like a
monster [anymore]'"
"AJter golng through all that," she added,
"I wanted to go back but needed people who
wouldn't judge me for what I [had] lived
through. I wanted to be Jewish but [I wanted
to] know the full meaning of it."
She was living in Brooklyn with a friend
who was attending Ohr Naaua - a Program
for
girls
started
by
Rabbi
Zechatta
Wailerstern, offering lectures, classes and
courses. Esti started going there and
eventually was referred to Our Place.
At Our Place she felt emotionally safe and
loved by the staff members.
"They communicated to me that'You're
okay the way You are,"' she said'
"They have social workers to help' Right
now I am religious in all ways, although I
am not chassidish.Igrve [Our Place]most of
the credit."
\A/hile the boys' division is open every
3 6 l H a m o d iM
a a g a z i nAeP r i6l , 2 0 0 9
aparty i' Esti can now discussit with a social
worker at Our Place'
"sometimes I feel like going back," she
admits, "but the volunteers explain to me
who you were and who vou are now'"
The staff members had described the
Living Room, their place for recovenng drug
addicts, alcoholicsand people "addicted to
the streets," as they delicately described it'
At Our PlaceEsti had the courage to give
up her drug and alcohol addictions' The staff
was always on call for any problem she
wanted to discuss. She even reinitiated
contact with her familY'
"l talk u'ith them all the time now," she
said. "l go to visit'"
Esti now has a good job, which she plans
to keep. She plans a regdar frumlrtestyle for
though not on her Parents'
herself
standards.And she, like Yossi and Moishy,
wants to help out others who are now in the
same circumstanceshe was in previously'
"l see mysel{ with a family of kids," Esti
replies when asked about her fufure' "l
would want to help out people who went
through the kind of life i went through'"
After all, she saYs, Our Place is what
helped her get,"_*n":" she rs now'
Weissberg* exPlained how his
connection to Our Place helped him'
"Our Place is for a guy like me - a guy
Avi
who likes to hang around at night," the
gangly seventeen-year-old said when he
dropped in at the Hamodiaoffice'
Indeed, Tzvi Glancz confirmed that onlv
boys who are on a certain level were allowed
through the doors of Our Place.
"It savesa lot of PeoPle,"added Avi' "A
Iot of people are agarnst it; they sav that's
where you get your drug connection' The
thing is, you can get your drug connection
anywhere down the block."
Avi comes from a modern Orthodox
family in Flatbush. He had a diJficult time
when he was in tenth grade. By the end of
the year he had dropped out of yeshivah and
ended up on the streets' Bad company
followed almost immediatelY.
Avi's parents could not accePt him'
Somtimes, he was thrown out of his house'
"It's like a second home," he saYS/
referring to Our Place."A lot of times [when]
I was kicked out of my house and I didn't
have anythinS;to eat, I went to Our Place' I
w,asstanding on the street and I was cold
I went to Our Place .'. thank G-d for Our
Place.It's a placewhere you could go eat,it's
a place where You could go relax'"
"You know what," saYs Avi suddenlY,
"its like a homeless sheiter in a way "' like a
homeless guy - he's starving, he'il go to a
homeless shelter. If you take a teenage guy,
he's bored, G-d knows what he'll do' At Our
Place you always have something to do "
Avi sums up his feelings about Our Place
at the end of our discussion "l think if there
would be no Our Place, I wouldn't be
religrous today," he sayswith conviction' ""'I
always said, thank G-d there's Our Place'"
Avi, like others at Our Place, is not fully
committed to the frum lifestyle. He observes
mitzaos when he is uP to it, but also
acknowiedges frequent laPses'
Avi tries to formulate his thoughts when
asked what he feels the repercussionswouid
be for the community if Our Place were to
closeits doors.
"I really think that it's the worst idea for
the whole community if Our Place shuts
even for the kids learning tn
down
yeshivah. I wish I had more words to
describeit - but I thlnk it's the worst thing Lf
it shuts down."
The staJf at Our Place understands that
not everyone who enters their doors will be
helped to heal and refum to their roots' They
share their lriumphs as well as their frials'
And they know they can continue to help
change worlds, one at a time, if the
commurutv helPs them survive. I
* Nanteshaaebeenchangedto protectpnaacy
,/ L_
s G-d in our rnidst,or is He not?" The
Itl
the prism of color we see when light
flashes
I peoplewho asked this question utalked
from
a
diamond;
all
the
out of Egypt, crossedthrouglt tlrc Yam Su.fon
Hashem'sPresence
dry land, and experienced
colors/attributes come from a single
uiaidly and profoundly. How can s0 much
One Who gives us choices that define our
being is the same One Who breaks the
source.Ail the Names are really One. The
haaebeenforgotten so quickly?
rules and sometimes gives us as a free gift
the reward that we normally get only
Do you read the paper, live in Israel, or
have friends who live in Israel? You
through
making positive choices. He
heard of more hashgachahpratis in the
does this in order to give us the will and
recent Gaza n'ar than some people do in a
courage to make changes in our lives.
lifetime. How did you respond? Did you
What does this have to do with us? We
also sometimes feel that miracles are "too
file the miracles away, telling yourself,
"This can't last. Things will eventually get
back to normal." If you did, then in
good to iast" and that in the end we will
have to answer for the imperfection of
Tffi TI-{AT
MIRACLE
essenceyou are echoing that question.
Harav Shlomo Elyashiv, sltlita, tells us
that those same people wandering the
our lives. The Jews in EgyPt didn't
believe thai they could be redeemed.
They told Moshe,"Egypt is steepedrnot4r
idol worship." Why indeed did Hashem
redeem them, then? It was because He
desert questioned Hashem's relationship
to them. is He with us today, doing mindmiracles that we have not
sees further than we can. He knew that
boggling
earned, and cannot earn? If so, will He
hide His face tomorrow and abandon us
that is the source of miracles beyond Iogic
or description? What difference does it
to living lives that are the result of our
make? Why is the question relevant?
choices? If we don't deserve tniracles,
Ramchal tells us that n e are here to
have the joy of experiencing Hashem by
how will we survive? If we cnn't rely on lur
merits, can zue honestly rely on Hashem
saoing us again and again? Is He in our
not? Let us examine the
midst or
making choices through which we let our
highest self define us. The greatest
pleasure, when you think about it, is the
we use to describe
"His
is
Name." The Hebrew
G-d's will
pleasure that you have when you have
accomplishedsomething of real meaning,
or when you have made an enduring and
word for His Name, Shemo,has the same
beautiful connectionwith another person.
numerical value as the word ratzon, wrll.
These two
The Name that we are most familiar with
meaning because we chooseto walk this
path. There is no joy in automatic
question in greater depth.
The
term
(the four-letter Name that we don't
pronounce)
describes
Hashem's
relationship to us in the worlcl, as it is
no\.r - realitv as we know it. The Name
Hashem means,"He was, is, and wiil be."
Theword "chCIice"
ffiffikhwsdepth nnd
if there is
ffiTffiffrufrng
trn rolfernqfive"
feelings have depth and
processes like breathing. The word
"choice" only has depth and meaning if
there is an alternative.
Hashem also made it possible to fail,
they would change, and that after seeing
the miracles, they would follow Him into
the desert, receive the Torah, and become
truly free, moving beyond the sins of their
past.
If you let yourself trust Hashem's
be familiar with this from the Shabbos
and when that happens, we have to
account for what we have done with our
zemiros)is Arich Anpin, which means that
lives. Sometimes, even so, Hashem relates
surround you, no matter who you are and
Hashem
to us with absolute mercy, without giving
what you have done in the past, It is at
anything else that is within experiential
grasp. His "Face," which is His persona,
any consideration to the entire concept of
"earning" or "deserving." Could anyone
beloved you are and how committed
stretchesbeyond ant'limitation. This trait
honestly say he "deserves" to have the
is sometimes called Eln, n,hich means the
"One Who is'Not"' within any frame of
sea split for him? This is a free gift in
Hashem is to you, that you can tell
yourself, "Do it" - make the changes,
order to open our hearts and save us, The
renegotiate the
possible description. The question really
Name
is, is Hashem in our midst, relating to us
interaction is the second one that we
and
discussed,Eln.
The Name that is used (and you may
is beyond
responding
to
time,
us, or
place, or
are we
experiencing Ein, His unknowable Self
that
relates to
this
sort
of
Hashem's various attributes are like
goodness, then He will let His kindness
that point, when you have seen how
future,
rise to
the
chailenges.
Muy
we
enjoy
this
holiday
of
redemption more than we ever could
have imagined. ff!
Hamodia Magazine 12 Nisan 57691
37