SLEEP ON IT - The PassTime Paper

3
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SLEEP ON IT
“Doctor,” the man said, “I've got a problem. Every time I
get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under
the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it.
Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me,
I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my
hands for two years,” said
the psychiatrist, “Come
and see me two times a
week, and I'll cure your fears.”
“'How much do you charge?”
“Two hundred dollars per visit,” the doctor replied smugly.
Discouraged by that answer, the man replied, “I'll sleep on
it.”
Six months later the doctor saw the man at a store. “Why
didn't you ever come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.
“For two hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for
five bucks,” the man said.
“Oh really?” replied the skeptical doctor, “How?”
“He told me to put the
mattress on the floor.”
PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143
MY MOST BRILLIANT ACHIEVEMENT WAS MY ABILITY TO PERSUADE MY WIFE TO MARRY ME. WINSTON CHURCHILL
EVERYTHING HAS BEAUTY; IT’S JUST THAT NOT EVERYONE CAN SEE IT
A PICTURE IS A POEM WITHOUT WORDS
DON’T SAY ‘OUR FATHER’ ON SUNDAYS AND SPEND THE REST OF THE WEEK ACTING LIKE AN ORPHAN
''I KNOW A GUY WHO CALLED UP THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK. THEY SAID 'CAN I HELP YOU?' AND HE SAID 'NO, I'M JUST LOOKING.'''
A SYSTEM IN WHICH WE MAY HAVE AN ENFORCED REST FROM LEGISLATION FOR TWO YEARS IS NOT A BAD IDEA - WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT
OOOOH, I’M SCARED!


Ballistophobia is a phobia of round objects


Pediophobia - Fear of dolls.
Pteronophobia - Panic when tickled
by feathers.
Zemmiphobia - Fear of the
great mole rat.

Euphobia - Fear of hearing good news.
 Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
 Lachanophobia– Fear of vegetables
 Lutraphobia - Phobia of otters.
 Panophobia or Pantophobia - Fear
of everything.





Phobophobia - The fear of developing a phobia.


Genuphobia - Fear of knees
Paraskavedekatriaphobia - Fear of Friday the 13th
Musophobia - fear of mice
Ereuthrophobia - Dread of blushing
Euphobia - Fear of hearing good
news.
Melophobia - Fear of Music
WHY ISN’T PHONETIC SPELLED THE WAY IT SOUNDS?
COURAGE IS THE PRICE LIFE EXTRACTS FOR GRANTING PEACE
DID YOU KNOW THE WORD ‘GULLIBLE’ ISN’T IN THE DICTIONARY
IT’S ILLEGAL TO HUNT CAMELS IN ARIZONA
THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE FIRST WHEEL WAS AN IDIOT. THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE OTHER THREE, HE WAS A GENIUS - SID CAESAR
IN ANY MOMENT OF DECISION THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS THE RIGHT THING. THE WORST THING IS TO DO NOTHING. T. ROOSEVELT
THE MORE YOU DREAM THE MORE YOU ACHIEVE
WHICH WEBSITES ARE SAFE?
Getting a nasty virus is the most dreaded digital experience. I hear
about it far too often from so many folks across the country and
around the world! In fact, it's one of the most common topics I deal
with! One of the questions I'm frequently asked is "How did I get a
virus in the first place?"
SOME PEOPLE ARE READY. I ENVY THEIR SOLACE.
There are several places people pick them up, but the most common
is from clicking a bad link on a sketchy website. These malicious
sites may look like a real site, but it's just a clever disguise to hide
the virus. The best defense against these types of threats, aside from
keeping your security software up to date, is to just avoid those
websites altogether. But how do you know which sites are bad?
AVG Secure Search is a free download that scans every website
before you visit it for threats to your computer or private information. Each site is given a safety rating: Safe, Risky and Dangerous. You'll know right away which sites are safe and which you
should stay away from! This all happens in real time so you don't
need to worry about accidentally clicking a bad link.
Secure Search also lets you know where ad networks are tracking
your online behavior and can notify those websites that you don't
want your habits to be tracked. When you go to install AVG Secure
Search, you'll be prompted to install the AVG Secure Search
toolbar. This isn't an unwanted add-on: AVG Secure Search is a
toolbar.
By default, it will add itself to all of your browsers and reset your
homepage to AVG Secure Search. If you uncheck both boxes, you
won't install anything! If you wish to have the toolbar without
changing your homepage, simply uncheck the home page box. This
is totally safe, and will give you access to all the benefits I mentioned before.
This is one of the few toolbars that you might actually want in your
browser. http://www.avg.com/us-en/secure-search
Please see ad above for more information and help.
DON'T MARRY THE PERSON YOU THINK YOU CAN LIVE WITH; MARRY ONLY THE INDIVIDUAL YOU THINK YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT
I’VE MANAGED TO AVOID TATTOO’S SO FAR - MICK JAGGER
IN A RECENT SCIENTIFIC SURVEY, AMERICANS PREFERRED THE SMELL OF BANANAS OVER ANY OTHER AROMA
I HAVE A VERY STRICT GUN CONTROL POLICY: IF THERE'S A GUN AROUND, I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL OF IT - CLINT EASTWOOD
IF WE HAVE NO PEACE, IT IS BECAUSE WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT WE BELONG TO EACH OTHER - MOTHER TERESA
WELL, AS GIRAFFES SAY, YOU DON'T GET NO LEAVES UNLESS YOU STICK YOUR NECK OUT. - SID WADDELL
MANY A MAN OWES HIS SUCCESS TO HIS FIRST WIFE AND HIS SECOND WIFE TO HIS SUCCESS. - JIM BACKUS
DIAGNOSTICS 101
A man went to the doctor. “Doc, you gotta help me. My leg keeps
talkin' to me.”
“Don't be ridiculous!,” replied the doctor, “your leg can’t talk!”
Suddenly the man’s leg twitched and a voice came from
the area of his kneecap, “can you give me twenty dollars?”
The man looked knowingly at the doctor and said,
“I told you.”
Then the leg shouted, “Give me a ten spot!”
The Doctor looked faint and held onto the examination
table. It was silent for a moment and then the leg
said, “Five bucks, Doc, just lend me five bucks!”
Suddenly the doctor began to smile. “I know your
problem,” he said triumphantly, “your leg's broke!”
BLOND FARMER
A blond decides to start up a chicken farm,
so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and
running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get
another hundred chickens because the first
lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at
the dealers for another hundred chickens.
"I’m not sure " he tells the dealer, "but
I think I'm planting them too deep."