May 2010 - Newton Community School District

Cardinal Chronicle
May 2010
classic cartoons - embarassing moments galore - senioritis struggles
800 East Fourth Street South - Newton, Iowa - 50208
Page 2- News
Cardinal Chronicle
May 2010
NHS helps community with Earth
Day clean-up
By Taylor
Soule
Ribbon recievers: Top row, left to right: Katie Pletcher, 2010, Victoria Lillo,
2013, Aurora Williams, 2012, Mackenzie Moss, 2011, Meredith Anderson,
2010, Colton McDermott, 2010, and Emily Hummel, 2010. Bottom row, left
to right: Amanda McMaster, 2010, Shelby Pritchard, 2010, and Kelsey
Johnson, 2010. Photo submitted.
The second annual Earth
Day clean-up was a success
at NHS. On May 5, students
headed to different locations
around Newton to beautify
the community, most matching in their Earth Day T-shirts.
Some tasks included planting
flowers on the square, entertaining the elderly at a local
nursing home, and picking
up garbage in parks and other locations. Students also
cleaned the Maytag Mansion
and dusted at the Historical
Many students quite enMuseum.
“It was awesome! This joyed the clean-up day. Emis truly turning into an event ily Montgomery, 2011, said
that her
t h e
g r o u p
comIt’s good for the community, “worked
m u it helped people out, and it on landnity
scaping
looks
made things look better.
on
the
f o r---Madison Oskam
bike trail
ward
by KFC
to and
appreciates,” said Allison and trimmed the bushes of
Provin, foreign language, the abandoned lot.” Madiwho organized the event son Oskam, 2011, said that
again this year. Following “It’s good for the communithe clean-up, students head- ty, it helped people out, and
ed back to school for Block
it made things look better.
Party, where lunch was provided for everyone.
“
”
NHS students show off their
masterpieces at art contest
By Kelsey
Johnson
On April 28, a gathering was
held to show appreciation for
the arts, and what talent high
school students can bring to the
table. It was held by Knoxville
faculty and took place at Central College in Pella.
Students from all over the
state joined in, contributing
their works of art. Twelve
students from Newton Senior
High School participated and
put their best foot forward,
taking home a total of nine ribbons.
Colten McDermott and Brittany Shaw, both class of 2010,
brought home 3 of those rib-
bons, McDermott taking two
first, and Shaw nabbing one
of her own. Shelby Pritchard,
2010, brought home a second
place red ribbon for one of her
water color paintings.
Three third place ribbons
were brought back home with
Emily Hummel and Katie
Pletcher, 2010, and Mackenzie
Moss, 2011, also took home
one of the third place ribbons.
Both Lauren McCollum and
Meredith Anderson, both 2010,
took home yellows ribbons for
honorable mention for their
drawings.
Other students who attended were Victoria Lillo, 2013,
Amanda McMaster, 2010, and
Aurora Williams, 2012.
Making Newton Beautiful: NHS students pick up at Maytag Park for the Earth Day clean-up on May
5. The park was just one of many locations students headed to for the annual clean-up day. Photo
by Abigail Oberhart.
A message from Trooper Doug Cutts
Under the new law anyone under 18 years of age
can be ticketed for not wearing their seatbelts, no matter
where they sit in the vehicle.
Under the old law, only front
seat passengers had to wear
their seatbelts. And children
under 11 had to be a child
restraint system or seatbelt.
Now anyone under 18 has to
buckled up anywhere in the
vehicle. If the subject in the
backseat is under the age of
14 the driver can be ticketed.
If they are 14 to 17 they will
receive their own ticket. Non
use of seatbelt does give law
enforcement reason to stop
the vehicle.
The new law will go into
effect July 1, 2010.
May 2010 Senior Wills 2010
By Alex
Gearhart
I, Taylor Peska, hereby leave
Michelle Marquis: Our
memories, give you my leftover clothes and my family,
and allow more “moments.”
I love you!
I, Ryan Klingensmith, hereby
leave Nic Smith: The Nike
shoebox under my bed. (Use
it wisely.)
I, Ray Barr, bequeath Tim E.
Stammeyer: My title as God
in the theatre, and my prodigious skills at running lights
and sound.
I, Daniel James Mott, hereby
leave Jon Gray: The strength
to get through high school.
Good luck!
you shall.
I, Sierra Pruitt, hereby leave
James Pruitt: The courage to
survive the next four years
without his big sister. I love
you! Also, don’t be stupid,
please.
We, Avery Amensen and
Leah Norcross, will Steven
Jones: The power to post
humorous, semi-convincing,
and sometimes offensive
fake lists in the band hallway.
I, Mercedes Rutherford,
hereby will Eric Grabe: My
ENTIRE Lord of the Rings
collection, if any “deathly”
misfortunes occur…to me.
I, Joe Peterson, leave Vinny
Hoskins: My Henry & Ethel
jacket/legacy and my “Joe
Powers.”
I, Lucas Claussen, hereby
leave Dani Peters and Steven
Jones: My incoming sister,
Cally, and the availability of
her time. Do with her what
We, the cool, beautiful, and
fun senior band girls, hereby
leave Stephanie Griffith,
Lindsey Hook, and Morgan
Daniels: The authority to relieve tension during rehearsals through ridiculous and
crazy tactics.
Block Party occurs once
a year for NHS students and
faculty. There were free hot
dogs, chips, and pop. Culvers provided free ice cream
for everyone as well. There
was music playing throughout the parking lot and it was
littered with students and
teachers decked out in their
Earth day attire.
Many students that at-
tended Block Party had opinions on how they thought it
went.
Jacob Vos, 2011, said, “I
only went for 15 minutes,
ate some lunch, and left.”
Alex Nelson, 2011, stated
that it was “lame because
there weren’t any games and
the music wasn’t any good.”
Also, many students said that
they didn’t like the fact that
it was on the same day as
clean up.
The students that did ap-
My full name is Kayla
Jane Langmaid, and I am
the news editor for the 20092010 newspaper. I’m a junior, and I am looking forward to being an editor next
year. I like the fact that I’m
a chocolate fanatic and have
a countless number of favorite movies. My dear partner,
Kelsey Colbert and I “help
the staff be filled with a daily
dose of entertainment,” quoted directly from a source. I
also have a daily beverage of
apple juice. I enjoy lots of
different kinds of music, and
listening to Alex Gearhart
play tunes on deadline night.
I despise driving in the winter time, and I spend most of
my days laughing too much.
NHS Symphonic Band performs
I, Anna Sciarotta, leave Paige
Kruse: The identity of FID
to continue on the Henry &
Ethel tradition. I give her an
old lady gray shawl to wear
with pride. And my awesomeness.
Block Party review
By Kelsey
Colbert
News - Page 3
Cardinal Chronicle
preciate it said that the Army
people were cool, and all
students I talked to enjoyed
Culvers ice cream donation.
Anna Latcham, 2013, said
that was her favorite part.
Jaden Dougan, 2013, said his
favorite part of Block Party
was “playing Halo in the
back of their [the Army’s]
Hummer. It was awesome.”
Overall, Block Party was
a decent success, leaving
many students refreshed after a day of clean up.
Sound of the seven trumpets: The Symphonic Bsand concert at NHS was on May 3; it
was also senior night. Photo by Alex Gearhart.
Page 4 - Features
Cardinal Chronicle
May 2010
Where did all of the good shows go?!
What’s up? My name is
Jessica Stout and I’m the
features editor of this here
newspaper. I’m weird, but
I’m not too interesting, so
bear with me. I like music,
Tim Burton movies, coffee,
AriZona tea, controversial
art, and the Saw franchise.
I don’t like Ke$ha, closemindedness,political
scandals, natural hair colors,
and absolutely ANY movie
with Jim Carrey in it. My
plans after high school are
to move in with a friend in
Florida and study to become
a film maker. I’m writing a
movie now, a horror movie
called Andy, and I hope to
be filming next summer.
My favorite color is
orange and I like Olive
Garden. My theme song is
Troublemaker by Weezer.
I don’t play any sports but
I play a mean bass guitar.
My favorite song of the
moment is Wonderful by
Gary Go. My favorite band
is New Found Glory and if I
don’t see them this summer
with Paramore and meet
their bassist Ian Grushka,
I will definitely cry. I like
butterscotch. I know many
amazing people. I’m not the
most optimistic person, but
hey, someone has to be the
pessimist.
Seahorses: intriguing creatures of the
oceans
By Madeleine
Joy
There are
many strange creatures that
fill up our seas, and
seahorses are definitely one of
them. As many
already know,
seahorses
are
the only animals
where the male
is the one who
carries the babies.
Something a lot of
people may not know
is that they can change
color to blend in with their
surroundings, like a chameleon. They can change from
a dull gray to a vivid purple
in a matter of seconds!
Seahorses are in the pipefish family, which means
they’re a fish, and unfortunately, have no relation to the horses found
on land. They’re covered with bony plates
which leads many to
believe they’re invertebrates, when in fact,
they have an interior
skeleton.
Seahorses have tails
that curl, and when resting, they curl their tails
around seaweed or other sea
foliage to keep from drifting away. They also like to
swim in pairs by linking their
tails together. How cute is
that? There are around forty
known species of seahorses;
only about four can be found
in the United States. This
is because they usually live
within the tropics in warm,
shallow water around sea
grass.
Seahorses can also make
beautiful pets. They come
in a large variety of colors,
and even come in patters
like spots and zebra stripes.
They are loyal to each other
and mate for life.
By Jessica
Sanders
Can you remember the
time when you got home
from elementary school
and ran to the TV on one of
your favorite shows? Most
of those shows are not even
on anymore. Why did they
take all of our favorite shows
away? Apparently, we were
all still watching them.
Do you remember some
of these shows: Rugrats
where babies could talk.
Tommy and Dill, Chucky,
and Kimi, Lil, Phil, Susie
and Angelica could talk and
go on adventures. And then
when they all grew up and
the show was called All
Grown Up?
What about getting home
from school and turning on
the TV to watch a group of
kids get into trouble at recess? Recess was mostly
aired on Disney Channel
and millions of kids, teens,
and even some young adults
watched.
Then there was a classic
Hey Arnold. Arnold was just
a normal kid that had a football shaped head who went
to school and hung out with
friends. We loved watching
a normal kid’s life.
Have you ever heard
of a show about an animal
that was half cat half dog?
Well if you have, then you
probably watched the nickelodeon special Catdog.
There was Cat, who was
the smart one who always
tried to trick Dog into what
he wanted Dog to do. Then
there was Dog who was the
less mature one and always
liked getting into mischievous adventures.
There are also many
other shows that have been
cancelled that you may recall, like the younger kiddy
shows, The Bear in the Big
Blue House, where a bear
can talk and hang out with
other animals that can talk
also. Then there is the famous Blues Clues with the
remarkable “mail time.”
Rocket Power was another
classic with preteens who
loved surfing, skateboarding, rollerblading, and just
hanging out.
Some other cartoon
shows you may remember,
but you haven’t thought
about in a long time are:
Rocko’s Modern Life,
Scooby Doo, Lilo & Stich,
Doug, Digimon, Ed Edd
and Eddy, Looney Tunes,
Baby Looney Toons, Ninja
Turtles, Care Bears, Telly
Tubies, Duck Tales, Tiny
Toons Adventures, Dexter’s
Laboratory, Pokemon, The
Powerpuff Girls, The Proud
Family, Arthur, Angry Beavers, PB&J Otter, Aaahh!
Real Monsters, The Wild
Thornberries, and Rolly
Poly Oly, but of course there
are many more.
There are also a few shows
that have been around for a
long time even when our
parents were kids but they
kept airing new episodes
when we were kids. Those
shows were The Flintstones,
The Jetsons, and The Peanuts. Then there are shows
that we as kids loved but
they actually weren’t cartoons: All That, the Amanda
Show, Zoey 101, Boy Meets
World, Zoom, Kenan and
Kel, Saved By the Bell and
Out of the Box are just some
of the shows.
But why did our shows
get cancelled? The main
reason was that all the programs that aired, started to
not have enough money due
to dropping of ratings. Also
with them wanting to air
new shows, they chose the
newer shows rather than the
older shows we loved.
May 2010
Features - Page 5
Cardinal Chronicle
Summer savings for the broke teenager
By Jessica Stout
Summer is coming!
Freedom! No homework or
teachers or projects! Just
you and your friends and…
the major lack of cash in
your bank account. Don’t
fret, we’ve all been there!
Your trusty neighborhood
budget setter is here to help
with tons of ideas to get you
through the summer, while
still being able to afford a
new wardrobe in the fall.
Summer is festival season, including Warped Tour,
80-35, Nitefall On The
River and so much more.
But the best (and cheapest)
shows are at smaller venues
like House Of Bricks and
People’s Court. Tickets can
range from $5 to $20, plus
more people come to socialize since they didn’t spend
so much money to get their
eardrums busted. Buying
new CD’s? Hit up Hot Topic. Normally I’m against the
scene-king-and-queen-watering-hole, but being able to
buy A Day To Remember’s
deluxe album Homesick for
only $13 AND affording
the new Ke$ha record afterword? Count me in!
For sports fans who don’t
mind taking a beating, Action Jack’s will be open all
summer with their $35 per
person day rentals. Make
sure you save up for the
$150 security deposit. Of
course, grabbing a football
or soccer ball and heading over to the YMCA is
always free. Going to the
YMCA without a membership for a day is only $4,
which beats sitting at home
all day. It may be exciting to
go to baseball and other live
sports, but watching it on
TV is cheaper.
For the fashion conscious, look up your favorite stores online and sign up
for their email club. They’ll
send you weekly promotional coupons and let you
in on deals before anyone
else. Sometimes shopping
online has its’ advantages;
some websites offer an instant discount on all online
items, or give you free shipping on purchases over a
certain amount.
Stay strong, young spenders. With saving comes
responsibility, and with responsibility comes being
able to do whatever the heck
you want. So save over the
summer… and spend in the
fall.
80-35 takes Des Moines by storm
By Isaac
Mathison-Bowie
Ready to be drenched
in summer sweat from toiling all day in the fields? Of
course you aren’t. What
about going for a dip at the
swimming hole afterwards?
Too bad the river is full of
pesticide run-off from the
fields you’ve been toiling in.
Now you’ve destroyed your
favorite place to play, and
your summer is ruined. That
sad scenario is why instead
of chopping bean-poles and
shearing off cornstalks, attending summer concerts is
an awesome activity.
80-35 is one of the main
attractions for concert lovers
this year. The festival turns
three, and is celebrating with
indie powerhouses Modest
Mouse and Spoon, as well
as jam-band mindblowers
Particle and Railroad Earth.
Aside from these major
league stalwarts, there will
be a bevy of local acts there
as well. Particularly interesting is soul singer/dynamo
Christopher the Conquered,
whose high-octane concerts
are always a blast. Indierappers the Cool Kids, who
seem to survive by injecting
large syringes full of hip into
their bloodstreams and fe-
male fire-spitter Psalm One
also will be hyping up the
crowd.
With tons of vendors selling food, tie dye apparel, and
other festival treats, there
will be plenty to do even if
all of the bands turn out to
be really boring. The festival
takes place July 3 and 4, so
there will be plenty of hot
dogs and fireworks. Tickets
for both day are $60, which
comparatively is really affordable. If you want to
RAWK, 80-35 is for you,
and your friends, and their
friends.
Summer fun for everyone
By Hannah
Long
Summer is approaching quickly, and there are
many fun things that can
be planned to stay outdoors
and make this summer the
best one yet.
Iowa is full of campgrounds; they are everywhere. Some of the most
popular places
to camp for
Newton residents are Red
Rock, Rock
Creek, Mariposa, or along
the
Skunk
River. Camping can be done
in more ways than just a
tent nowadays. Campers are
becoming more and more
popular, although a tent with
no electricity is the original
way to go at it.
More and more high
school students are becoming interested in fishing,
and living in Newton, Iowa,
there are many fishing options. Three larger lakes are
in a hour driving distance
from Newton: Red Rock,
Rock Creek, and Sayorville.
Also, right here in Newton,
there are many small ponds
filled with fish.
Whether it’s fun or
competitive, swimming is
a great way to keep cool.
Newton has three outdoor
pools and one indoor. Maytag Pool is the only outdoor
pool open to the public,
and is equipped with two
slides, two diving boards,
and many fun pieces of
play equipment. The Newton YMCA is indoor and
is also open to the public.
Swimming is not
only done in pools
in Iowa, but also
in ponds, lakes
and rivers.
When summer
nights
come and the
sun goes down,
it tends to get a
bit chilly. One perfect
way to solve this problem is
a bonfire. Bonfires vary in
size, anywhere from small
in a fire pit to a large fire
burning old Christmas trees
or branches that have fallen
or been cut down. Bonfires
are not only a nice way to
keep warm and enjoy the
outdoors, but they are a
great way to socialize with
friends, with everyone sitting closely around a fire
having great conversation.
Backyards range from
small to large, but no matter what the size it can still
bring a great spark to one’s
summer experience. No
back yard is too small to
run through a sprinkler or
have a water balloon fight.
Sprinklers will keep one
cool from the hot summer
sun, as well as entertained
for hours. Water balloon
fights are also a great way to
keep cool, but they typically
involve more than one person. The larger the group of
people involved in the fight,
the more water balloons that
will be needed, the more
wet one will get, and the
more fun it will be. Also, if
you are looking to get that
wonderful deep summer
tan, the backyard is a great
place to do it.
Summer is a great time
for outdoor activities, and
some of the best revolve
around sports. Get some
friends, pick up a football,
and get a game going, set up
an obstacle course and see
who can go through it the
fastest, or just simply go for
a run. Staying active is not
only good for you but it is
also a great way to enjoy the
summer sun.
Summer is a time that
only comes once a year;
bring great weather and
good memories. Enjoy it
while it lasts!
Page 6 - Cover Story
Cardinal Chronicle
Hannah Long: A golf game
to remember
Golfing has been a passion of mine for years, but
there is a summer of golf
that stands out a bit more
than others. June of 2007,
walking nine holes of golf
with my best friend at nine
in the morning was just a
typical day.
Standing on the number three tee-box was what
changed my mouth forever. The sprinklers were
turned on, and it was going
to spray over the tee-box
while we were going to teeoff. I had the brilliant idea
to try and hit at the exact
moment the water hit us.
My best friend also thought
that was a great idea and
went to swing at the exact
moment that I did. This action resulted in a
way that on her back swing,
her driver was implanted
directly into my mouth,
knocking out my two front
teeth and pushing the whole
bottom row of teeth roughly
two inches into my mouth.
The day from that point
on was filled with a visit
to the emergency room to
make sure my jaw was not
broken, the dentist to numb
my mouth, then the orthodontist, where he took his
thumbs and pushed my bottom row of teeth back into
place. Today, I live everyday with three fake teeth
in my mouth, my two front
teeth and one on the bottom.
Salutations! My name
is Taylor Soule and I am
a junior. I am the editorin-chief of the Cardinal
Chronicle.
There is a
plethora of rather exciting
things everyone should
know about me.
First and foremost, my
favorite word is festive, as
it not only carries a melodious sound, but is also applicable to so many everyday
situations. Next, I enjoy
playing oodles of tennis
and destroying opponents
with my wicked backhand.
Kelsey Johnson: Hands down, pants
down
R
ecently, I have
found that paintballing is a sport
anyone can play. In the
past month, I have gone
twice for the better part
of a day. It’s so much fun
and the intensity kept me
going without a moment
of second guessing. After my first time going, I
wanted to bring a friend.
Unfortunately, we decided to go after it had been
raining for a few days and
it was very muddy. We
didn’t care much though,
we stuck together going
from bunker to bunker
covering each other.
On our last round a
couple guys told us to stay
back and cover the woods.
We hunkered down for
about ten minutes and decided it was a bunk mission so we were ready to
move up. I was borrowing my boyfriend’s old
paintballing pants, complete with Velcro at the
waist for added support.
We were ready to make
a run for it even though
we knew there was an enemy in part of the woods
ready to take us out if we
weren’t stealthy enough.
We took no more than
five steps out of our cover,
and I noticed it was difficult for me to maneuver.
I looked down to see that
the Velcro had come undone and my pants were
at my knees. Luckily I
had my sweatpants on underneath so I wasn’t left
entirely unprotected. We
heard shots being fired
and watched paintballs
exploded as they hit the
bunker next to us. We ran
back to cover as I pulled
up and fastened my pants.
It was a close call, a funny
moment, and an awesome
time.
I typically refer to my
presence on the court as
‘beastly’; however, this is
contrary to popular belief.
I take intense pride
in completing 500-piece
puzzles and having a vast
knowledge of every episode of “The Fresh Prince
of Bel-Air.” My favorite
music group is the Jonas
Brothers, my preferred
pastry is crème-filled
doughnuts, and my favorite ocean predator is the
killer whale.
May 2010
Taylor Soule: A new kind of
strike
Some sports, such as football, are high contact sports.
Others, such as bowling,
pose little threat for injury. I,
however, defied the odds after a bizarre bowling incident
in 2008. It was freshman
year, and my entire class was
excited about the prospect
of a week of bowling and a
break from the daily routine
of dressing for P.E.
All was going swimmingly, and after reaching Cardinal Lanes without incident,
we headed up to the counter
to locate our shoes. My class
then scurried off to the lanes
in anticipation of an hour or
so of bowling bliss.
Next, I headed over to the
shelves that housed the bowling balls. Thinking nothing
of it, I bent over to find the
bright pink ball I had been
using for the last couple of
days. Suddenly, a ten pound
hunter green bowling ball
came hurtling at my face,
hitting me square in the forehead. Naturally, this not only
knocked me off balance, but
surprised me to no end. As it
turns out, a girl in my class
had turned her back to me
and swung her bowling ball
backwards, mistakenly hitting me in the head; I had a
headache for two weeks after
that. The moral of the story?
Beware of flying bowling
balls.
Jessica Stout: Speechless with Safetysuit
M
y most embarrassing moment
involved
live
radio and my undoubtfuly
shy attitude towards my favorite band.
Last summer Michael
Sweet (yeah, I don’t know
who he is either) came
to Des Moines, and their
opening band was Safetysuit. If you’ve known me
for more than a day, you
know that Safetysuit is
one of my absolute favorite bands. I literally flipped
my lid when I found out
that they would play an
acoustic performance on
Star 102.5 a few hours before their concert.
Shaking with excitement
(no, seriously, I was that
excited. My mom thought I
was possessed), I called the
radio station to see if they
were still coming in. It went
like this (this is just the gist
of what happened: it was actually me talking to her for
about 8 minutes arguing if
I should make the drive to
meet them or not.):
“Star 102.5, this is (insert
DJ name here).”
“Uh, yeah, hi, is, um,
Safetysuit still coming in?”
“Yes, they are.”
“Oh, uh, awesome. Can
you tell them I said hi?”
“Sure! If you had one
question to ask them, what
would it be?”
At this point in the story,
I panicked. Me, ask four
of my favorite musicians a
QUESTION?
“Uh, um, uh…just tell
them I said hi, okay?” She
insisted that I come up with
a question. So after 2 minutes of excruciating babbling, I blurted, “Just ask
them if they’re single!” and
hung up.
Long story short, I don’t
think she told them about
my outburst. I saw them
live later that night, and met
them as well. Just another
story in my book of embarrassing band stories.
May 2010
Jessica Sanders: Kenny
Chesney crush
T
here is a key moment,
or more like a year in
my life, that I will
never forget. It was when I
became obsessed with Kenny Chesney. For those who
don’t know, he is a country
singer. And, if you do know
who he is and know his age,
don’t talk. He and I are only
25 years apart.
I was so obsessed with
Kenny Chesney that I had
a wall of photos that I had
either printed off from the
internet or found in magazines that I tore out. When I
finally became less obsessed
and decided to take the pictures down, I counted them
all, and I had 82 pictures of
him.
I wrote him nine letters
in just 8th grade alone, and
by the way, none of them
have been answered, (I have
actually cried many times).
I never got anything back.
But last year, my freshmen
year, I actually got a magazine with him on the cover
and I saw him smile in one
of the pictures inside the
magazine, when he smiled,
he had crow’s feet by his
eyes. That’s when I realized that he was actually too
old for me. The next day I
took down my pictures. I
cried when I was taking
them down, because I really
wanted to be with him then.
Still, today I hope that I get
a letter back from him.
Kelsey Colbert: Driving
dilemmas
My most embarrassing moments deal with
the destruction of my car.
First, in March 2009, I hit
the parked car next to me
while backing up out of
my parking spot.
Long story short, my
wheel was turned all the
way to the left from when
I’d pulled in, I forgot to
straighten my wheel out,
and I’m sure you can figure out the rest. It was humiliating, to say the least.
Then, this February,
I was backing out of my
Cover Story - Page 7
Cardinal Chronicle
garage and knocked off
my passenger side mirror.
I’ve learned things from
my embarrassing moments though.
1. Straighten the wheel
before backing up.
2. Do not back out of
a garage at 15 mph…and
if you do decide to do
that, don’t keep backing
up when you hear a loud
“thud.”
3. Backing up cars is
just not my thing, and I’m
okay with that.
Hello! My name is Madeleine Claire Joy. My favorite color is yellow, and
my favorite animal is a toss
between either a red panda
or a seahorse. My favorite
word would probably have
to be reminiscent. That’s
about all the favorites I have
on anything, for I am an extremely indecisive person.
I tend to tell people stories about my life that no
one probably cares about.
In fact, I typed out a lengthy
story relating to my indecisiveness, but I deleted it. I
love hugs, high fives, and
handshakes. I call them
the three H’s! I quite enjoy
wearing dresses, and I’m
vegetarian.
I believe that my father is a secret spy for the
CIA. He told me how he
and my mom signed up for
the CIA to be international
spies because they both fluently spoke French, but they
didn’t get in. Or, did he tell
me that story as a cover up?
I think yes! I have evidence
to back up my accusations
if you care to ask me about
them.
That’s about all there is
to know about me, I guess.
I’m not the most interesting
person in the world.
Jake McCulley: Deadline
night gone awry
E
veryone had to write
about
embarrassing moments for
the newspaper this month,
and I’ve been wallowing in
righteous self-pity because
I couldn’t think of a single
time in my life in which I’ve
been thoroughly humiliated.
My suave, charming personality and graceful movements, combined with eloquent speech patterns have
left me nearly invulnerable to
the abstract emotion known
as embarrassment. I was at a
loss for what to write about.
Thankfully, I finally got
my moment in the spotlight
at deadline night, when I
peed my pants a lot! You
cannot imagine how relieved
I felt, killing two birds with
one stone. Not only had I
saved myself the effort of
walking all the way to the
restroom, but I had finally
given myself the perfect embarrassing moment for the
Cardinal Chronicle! What a
wonderful end to a wonderful year in newspaper.
Isaac Mathison-Bowie:
Clumsy no more
I
t may surprise the patronage of the Cardinal Chronicle to know
that I was not always the
suave, smooth swinger
that I am today. There
was once a time in my
life that I was a clumsy
oaf. I would push my
dog down the stairs, spill
food all over myself, and
commit other comically
foolish acts, all because I
could not move properly.
My doctor said that I had
chronic clumisilousus, a
big problem for someone
of my stature. My doctor
prescribed me Zolofterall,
a powerful anti-clumsitosous medicine. Now I am
steady as a racehorse, and
twice as strong!
Zolofterall helps the
mind and body concentrate, no more fluctuation
of the brainwaves. You
shouldn’t take it if you
are pregnant or an alcoholic, but that shouldn’t
be a problem for anyone
reading this story at NHS.
Side effects may include
vomiting, nausea, mindnumbing, and in some less
than frequent cases, dying. However, the risks
certainly do not out way
the rewards, and I can testify to that. I am a clear,
clean, reactive person,
never embarrassed, and
always grateful for my
Zolofterall.
Matt Ventling: Pants on the
ground
Of all of the embarrassing
moments I have had, this is
one of them. The evening’s
tennis meet had just ended,
and the bus and everyone in
it was ready to go. We were
pulling out of the parking
lot when I suddenly remembered that I had left my pants
out on the courts!
These weren’t just any
old pants either. This pair
of pants held, in its pockets, my cell phone, my iPod
(complete with headphones),
AND my wallet!
I really didn’t want to
leave those things in Pella,
so I had to shout up to our
coach to get the bus to stop.
Then I had to walk down the
length of the bus and back to
the courts while the whole
team watched and laughed.
Even the Pella team members still lingering at the
courts were laughing. It was
embarrassing, but I got my
pants back.
Page 8 - Opinion
Cardinal Chronicle
May 2010
“Senioritis” strife
“A crippling disease
that strikes
high school
seniors:
symptoms
include laziness, an over excessive
wearing of sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sweatshirts.
Also features a lack of studying, repeated absences, and
a generally dismissive attitude. The only known cure
is the phenomenon known
as graduation,” according to
Urban Dictionary. Seniori- said Jaynie Guthrie, 2010.
tis happens to everyone; to
Is senioritis a real probsome
lem?
it beOr is
Being a senior I have realized it just
gins
r e that I have better things to do a n
ally
now, there are more fun things e x early
I could be doing than studying c u s e
in the
f o r
my homework.
year
every
o r
s e ---Macee Smith-Leavens
even
nior
late
t
o
in the year. “Senioritis slack off? It has been thirteen
kicked in for me as soon as years of school, is it about
I walked through the doors,” time for us to get a little slack
“
”
Modern efficiency
What is
the worst
thing about
winter? Icy
roads and
sidewalks.
A
great
volume of
Iowa
ice
and snow makes it nearly
impossible to get anything
done outside for nearly three
months of the year. More
time is wasted in these three
months than I think is necessary. If Newton High School
takes my advice, it could
very easily avoid many of
the problems that go hand in
hand with Iowa’s long winter months. Our school district wastes more manpower
than anyone could imagine
by keeping detention students inactive and locked up
indoors. In winter, a brilliant
use of detention students
would be to serve their time
outside in the parking lot,
or on the sidewalks melting
all of the dangerous ice and
snow away.
In times like these, the
money saved by doing this
could greatly benefit all of
our schools. The only money
the school would have to
spend would be the initial
cost of the generators, extension cords, and hair dryers needed to melt away the
snow and ice. Over time,
these would pay themselves
off by removing the need to
buy salt and snow blowers.
Having clear roads and
sidewalks around NHS
would no longer give students excuses to be late during winter, hopefully inspiring them to get to school on
time for once.
Another possible plus to
this perfect plan would be
that the idea of forced labor
before school could scare
kids enough that they would
stop creating problems in
the classroom, making everything run much more
smoothly. Who knows, after
using this method of punish-
ment for five or ten years,
bad behavior in Newton
might have altogether disappeared!
Those opposed to my
plan might argue, “But Matt,
forcing students to melt
snow outside before school
is child labor!” If anyone
can remember all the way
back to earlier this month,
didn’t the entire school do a
whole hour of work outside?
How did the school justify
this unfair slave labor? They
passed it off as “community
service.” Because the school
is funded by taxes, it could
be considered a large part
of the community. Keeping
it nice and ice free is doing
it a service, if you put those
two words together what
does that make? Community
Service.
This is the best solution to
most of NHS’s problems.
before the “real world.” Or
should we work even harder
considering what we are getting ourselves into? Being
a senior is the best year of
your life, it’s where you relax just a little, celebrate a
little more, and find relief in
all your success. If you’re a
senior now, you understand
that statement, and if you’re
underclassmen, you will understand when you become
one. Senioritis may have just
been a word a senior made
up, but the true statement of
it all is that it is our time to
be ourselves and figure out
exactly where and what we
want to be when we get out
of here, and it’s just the pure
celebration of how we know
we did it!
“Being a senior I have realized that I have better things
to do now, there are more fun
things I could be doing than
studying my homework. Not
only does the fun happen on
the weekends, but it lasts
all week long,” said Macee
Smith-Leavens, 2010. Each
senior’s different. Your personal senioritis could be
working even harder to prepare yourself for college, or
you could be the senior that
celebrates a little longer. As
a senior, every day is a celebration for graduation.
Hot or Not
Topic Hot
Not Hot
Butts
Baby Cigarette
Cyclones
World-Ravaging
Iowa State
Barbie
Que
Doll
Measurements
Decameters
Centagramitors
First Peoples
Aborigines
Eskimos
Skinny People Ice Cream Sorbet
Sherbet
Sharks
Licorice
Tiger
Pool
Twizzlers
Red Vines-BLECH!
GPS
Global Positioning Giant People
System
Smasher
Roads
Silk
Less Traveled
May 2010 Have you ever...?
We
all
go through
many struggles in our
lives,
and
this article
is an attempt
to help guide
the masses. So as you read
on, see if these situations
might be applied to your life,
and therefore, my advice.
Have you ever blown
your nose in one of your
classes when it was completely silent and it was really loud?
Blowing your nose is a
natural function of the human body, so it’s okay if you
blow your nose loudly.
Have you ever earned
an “F” on a test and you
drew a line and made it look
like an “A” so your parents
wouldn’t yell at you?
Your parents will most
likely look through your test
and see you missed a lot.
They will find out that you
got a bad grade on your test,
but you lied to them. So,
just take responsibility for
bombing your test.
Have you ever accidently
burped when you were about
to kiss your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Laugh it off. Most likely
it will make the one you
were kissing laugh. It’s not
a big deal.
Have you ever “cut in”
line during lunch when
you’re about to get your
food?
Don’t get caught and
watch out for teachers, they
are always trying to catch a
student “cutting.”
Opinion - Page 9
Cardinal Chronicle
Have you ever wanted to
yell in the middle of class
because you were so bored?
Don’t yell-you may get
in trouble and get kicked out
of class. Try to imagine your
teacher in his/her underwear.
It may make you laugh and
make you not so bored.
Have you ever wanted to
be the opposite sex?
Well, you could have surgery to make it possible.
Have you ever had your
heart broken?
Most likely time will
heal anything. You can find
someone else who may
make you happier. Love can
happen again.
Have you ever done
something you wanted to
take back?
You can’t go in the past,
shrug it off and move on.
Have you ever eaten at a
restaurant and realized you
have no money?
Tell them the truth…
or call a friend or a family
member to come to the restaurant and ask to borrow
some money to pay your
bill….Don’t try to make a
run for it.
Have you ever forgotten
one of your family member’s birthdays?
Go to a gas station and
pick up a chocolate candy
bar. You can never be wrong
with chocolate. If they don’t
like chocolate, say you forgot, and there is a treat for
you. It’s a win-win situation.
I’ve been told to tell you
a little bit about myself for
this issue of the Cardinal
Chronicle. Unfortunately,
I don’t really know what to
say without sounding like a
pretentious fool. I’m about
seven feet tall, I weigh
94 pounds, I enjoy eating
contests, and I have a wax
sculpture of a parrot.
In 7th grade, I received a
national award for wearing
the most orange t-shirts on
consecutive days. Just ask
Ira Mitchell, 2011. I am not
a model, but I like to think
that I am fairly attractive.
When I was a sophomore in
high school, I was supposed
to be in The Pirates of
Penzance for both nights,
but after the first night, I got
salmonella poisoning and
almost died.
Now that I have told
you about some of my
achievements, let me tell
you about my hobbies. I
am a multi-instrumentalist,
I play in the bands Steel
Orchard, The Chatty Cathys,
and QCLB. I also rap in The
Rhyme Scholars. I try to be
funny some of the time, but
I know I’m no Dane Cook.
My other leisure-tasks
include sunbathing, horsehunting, and writing.
When I was younger, I
wanted to be a police officer
who drove a wrecking ball.
I planned to stop criminals
by clobbering them with
the giant iron smash ball.
I recently realized that this
is infeasible, and now it is
my intention to become a
professional writer. Perhaps
I will write a miniseries
about that police officer I
once dreamt of becoming.
Before I go, please take a
moment to sign this article
here_______________,
in a pledge to purchase
any written materials ever
published under my name.
Thank you for your touching
commitment, and have a
wonderful summer.
Editors:
Taylor Soule: Editor-in-Chief
Erin Suttek: Managing Editor
Jessica Stout: Features Editor
Jake McCulley: Opinion Editor
Kayla Langmaid: News Editor
Brandon Cook: Sports Editor
Madeleine Joy: Graphics/Photo
Editor
Kendra Kendall and Jessica
Sanders: Business/Advertising
Managers
Lunar Loonies: The editors of the Cardinal Chronicle chose a rather
unusual location for the staff photo this month. The pictures had to be
taken in approximately 30 seconds, due to the lack of oxygen. Photo
by Alex Gearhart.
Reporters:
Kelsey Colbert
Alex Gearhart
Jessica Jolley
Hannah Long
Isaac Mathison-Bowie
Matt Ventling
John Wells
Kelsey Johnson
Adviser:
Lisa Calvin
Contact Info:
807 S. 6th Ave. W.
Newton, IA 50208
(641) 792-5809
Page 10 - Sports
Girls’ tennis team improves
according to coach
By Taylor Soule
Girls’ tennis season continues, and as the season
comes to a close, the immense improvement of the
team is obvious. Head coach
Katie Moklestad said, “The
meets have been closer than
the scores indicate. All of
the girls have improved.”
On April 22, the Cards
traveled to Grinnell to take
on the Tigers. In singles play,
the Cards netted two wins
with Taylor Soule and Erin
Lewis, both 2011, picking up
straight set wins. The doubles team of Amanda Jones,
2010, and Kelsie Johnson,
2011, played an impressive
match, earning a 6-2, 7-5
finish. Lewis and Katelyn
Camp, 2013, also won their
doubles match, as did Christina Thompson, 2010, and
Katelin Klyn, 2013. And although the Cards fell to the
Tigers 5-6, there were many
close, competitive matches.
April 27 marked another
home meet for the Cards,
who hosted a tough Boone
Toreadors team. The Cards
netted two singles wins,
with No.1 Soule winning by
a score of 7-6, 6-1 and No.
6 Lewis earning a narrow
victory in a tiebreak, 6-1,
4-6, 10-8. Camp and Lewis
also nabbed an impressive
straight set doubles win by a
score of 6-1, 6-3.
The Cards took on Knoxville on April 29 and lost to
the Panthers, 3-8. Caitlyn
Hagarty, 2011, and Soule
picked up singles wins at
the meet. Soule won a close
three set match by scores of
4-6, 6-3, 10-4. Hagarty also
picked up a three set win, 4-6,
6-0, 10-2. The lone doubles
team to win was Camp and
Klyn. However, three other
doubles teams lost in close
third set tiebreaks.
On May 3, the Cards fell to
Pella Christian by a score of
3-8. Lewis nabbed the lone
singles win for the Cards,
7-5, 4-6, 10-5. The doubles
teams of Johnson and Jones
and Klyn and Camp won the
other two matches. On May
11, the Cards traveled to Pella for the LHC Conference
meet and earned a seventh
place finish.
I’ve served my time: Senior Christina Thompson
serves the ball to the other team. Photo by Hayley
Dodds.
Cardinal Chronicle
Tennis comes to a close
By Matt
Ventling
The Newton Boys’ tennis
season has come to a close.
The Varsity boys finished up
Friday, May 14, playing at
districts. The boys were very
successful during the first
round of the meet, winning
each and every match. Unfortunately, their luck didn’t
carry over into the second
round, with Iowa Falls best-
ing them in the end. The
Cards have improved greatly
over the past season, and
sadly will be losing valuable seniors such as Lucas
Claussen, Sean Hughes, David Hummel, Brandon Cook,
and Jacob Ervin. Fortunately,
with a wave of new talented
freshman soon washing
ashore, next year’s team is
sure to be one of the greats!
Air Sean: Sean Hughes,
left, is one of the five seniors. He will be missed
very much by fellow teammates. Photo by Jake McCulley.
NHS track challenges
Pella teams at home
By Jessica
Stout
So close, but not close
enough. The May 11th home
meet for the boys proved
challenging against Pella.
Newton finished 4th after
Pella-Christian, with Pella
winning the entire meet with
154.5 points. Ira Mitchell,
2011, won the long jump and
Regan Brock, 2012 was tops
in the shot put.
Even the girls couldn’t
put the hurt on Pella. Newton won in fifth place, while
aiming for 3rd. Alora Simmons, 2012, won Newton’s
only win for the night in the
high jump with a personal
best of 4 feet, 11 inches.
After the May 17th Waukee meet, Newton will send
Colten McDermott, 2010,
to the State Track Meet for
running the 3.200 meterrun, running his best time
ever. Joseph Brock, 2012,
and Colton Hoffmann, 2011,
placed 5th and 6th in discus,
but didn’t advance to state.
Girls track will be sending
their 1,600 meter-relay team
to the State Track Team. For
the Cardinals girl track team
1,600-meter state qualifying team will include Abby
Reed, 2011, Meredith Anderson, 2010, Victoria Walton, 2013 and Erin Gholson,
2012. At press time, we could
not get a hold of the scores of
the 4x4.
May 2010
Girls’ soccer has great
season
By Kayla
Langmaid
Things are looking
great for the Newton
Cardinals girl’s soccer
team. The girls shutout
Norwalk with a 3-0 win
at home, on Tuesday,
May 4. “This was a big
win for us, and we did
not back down to physical play,” says Sackda
Viravong, NHS girls soccer coach.
Additionally, Newton has played the two
ranked teams in the conference and has beaten
them both.
Jessica
Mouchka, 2010, earned
the shutout victory for
Newton and stopped 10
Norwalk shots on goal.
Carrington
Mitchell,
2010, used her speed to
put in the third goal of
her year. Keria Huyser,
2010, also scored with a
20-yard shot that deflected off the crossbar and
into the net.
The Cards gained a
3-0 win on Monday, May
17, over rival Grinnell.
The wins hve meant that
the team has remained
unbeaten in the Little
Hawkeye Conference.
The cards played backto-back matches Friday
and Saturday. Megan
Wright, 2012, scored
three goals in the Friday
night’s 7-0 win against
Pella Christian. Wright
also added three additional goals at the win
over Boone 4-0. Newton
then also played Ames on
Saturday but lost 3-1.
Newton has also outshot Pella Christian 25-2
and improved in the Little Hawkeye Conference
6-0. “It has been fun
watching the young kids
develop, and the seniors
kind of feel we played
a part in that development.” Jessica Mouchka, 2010.
Moss is the boss: Mackenzie Moss, 2011,
throws the ball for a throw-in. Photo by Alex
Gearhart.
May 2010
Girls’ golf going strong
By Hannah
Long
Newton girls’ golf is still
going strong, defeating Pella
Little Dutch in their dual at
Westwood Golf Course, in
Newton. Leading the way,
and receiving medalist was
Nicole George, 2011, shooting a 44. Hannah Long,
2012, scored second for
the team, and was runnerup medalist, shooting a 45.
Following close behind was
Jenna Blunt, 2011 with a 48,
Bailey Kellogg, 2013, with a
52, and Jasmine Yoder, 2011,
shooting a 56.
After a strong performance at home, the Cardinals
just kept on rolling, claiming
the Conference Champs title,
Monday, May 3. Blunt was
the top scorer for Newton,
with a 91, tying for 5 in the
meet, and having made All
Conference. George, Kellogg, and Long also scored
for the team and made All
Conference. George shot a
94, Kellogg a 95, and Long
a 96. The girls took victory
over Grinnell by only three
strokes.
The Cardinal Invite took
place May 7, at Westwood
Golf Course. Ankeny took
first, while Newton and
Johnston tied for second. Between Newton and Johnston,
the fifth score was taken as a
tie breaker, and Newton took
second, beating Johnston by
one stroke. Leading the team
to a string second place was
George, shooting a 46, taking
5 place individually. Following close behind were Blunt
and Kellogg both shooting
49. Finishing up the scoring
were Yoder and Long, Yoder
with a 51, and Long with a
52.
Cardinals shoot epic win
against Grinnell
By Alex
Gearhart
The boys finish the season
with an 11-6 record and title
of conference champion! On
Thursday, May 20, the boys
faced Grinnell in the
most epic game in history. The score was 0-0
the entire game and
was forced to go into
sudden death. Each
team scored two goals
in the first session,
which lead to sudden
death shootout.
Senior Drake Lamb
blocked three penalty kicks and the last
save gave Matt Miller,
2010, the opportunity
to shoot and make the
Sports - Page 11
Cardinal Chronicle
winning kick.
The Varsity headed to
Substate on May 24 to take
on Hoover. The boys will
miss all of the graduating
seniors, but are looking forward to a new season with a
new team.
The girls took home another victory after travelling
to Pella to compete in a triangular with Pella Christian
and Knoxville on May 11.
Soon after, the Cardinals
traveled to Cedar Rapids
to take home a victory over
11 other teams. Although
the course was shorter then
most, it was packed with
challenging holes. Leading
the way was Long with a
personal best 78, and Blunt
with a personal best 79. Long
placed fifth in the meet, and
Blunt placed sixth.
Coming off two back
to back wins, the Cardinals couldn’t quite keep the
streak going. After competing in the South Tama Invite, Grinnell was deemed
champions. Only six strokes
behind, Newton came in
second, placing three in the
top ten. George lead the way
with an 86, Yoder followed
with a 92, Long with a 94,
and Blunt with a 98. Kellogg
fired a non-scoring 106. The
Cardinals will compete again
for a chance at State on Monday, May 24.
OPINION:
Lebron James wins MVP
award once again
By Brandon
Cook
Lebron James is now a
back to back MVP champion. Many say he is an upset
in the playoffs, though. Is he
or is it the players around
him? I am a Cleveland Cavaliers fan, but I still care about
Lebron’s future, so I will say
I think it’s best for Lebron
to leave. Although he is an
Ohio native, he doesn’t have
much luck as a Cav. 2010
is the year that his contract
is up; therefore, a different
team may pick him up.
In the 2008-09 seasons,
ESPN writers voted where
they thought Lebron might
end up in the 2010-11 season.
Eleven said he would come
back to Cleveland, eight
said he would go to the New
Jersey Nets, five thought he
would go to the New York
Knicks, and one thought he
would go to the Detroit Pistons. This has changed re-
cently, many think he will go
to Chicago.
What many don’t realize
is that Lebron is the player
who made Cleveland the
team that they are. The Cavs
had not yet seen an NBA finals game until Lebron took
them there in 2003. Lebron
is the “King” of basketball,
and I will go as far as to say
that he is as good as Michael
Jordan. Michael Jordan may
have rings unlike Lebron,
but he also had better players
around him. For the longest
time, Lebron had Zydrunas
Ilgauskas, and that’s about it.
Even with Antwan Jamison
and Shaq, Lebron still never
had any consecutive teammates. I will give Anderson
Varejao credit though; he
always tried and never gave
up. I hope to see Lebron
“The King” James get some
rings, even if it’s without a
Cavaliers jersey on, I want
the best for Lebron.
Start the summer with a
good movie
By John Wells
Hey, does anybody want
to see a great movie this
summer? Here is a list of
all the movies coming out
soon:
G
Ramona and Beezus
PG
Babies
Just Wright
Letters to Juliet
Shrek Forever After
Marmaduke
* The Karate Kid
Wild Grass
Despicable MeMao’s
Last Dancer
The Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest
PG-13
Iron Man 2
Robin Hood
Prince of Persia: The
Sands of Time
Ondine
Inception
Beastly
Get Low
R
Casino Jack and the
United States of Money
Mother and Child Solitary Man
Holy Rollers
*MacGruber
Sex and the City 2
George A. Romero’s Survival of the Dead
Micmacs
Get Him to the Greek
Splice
Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky
Winter’s Bone
I Am Love
Restrepo
Twelve
The Kids Are All Right
Cyrus
Middle Men
The Disappearance of
Alice Creed
The remake of The Karate Kid is one of the many
movies coming out this
summer. This version of
the Karate Kid has Jackie
Chan as Mr. Han training
Dre Parker (Jaden Smith).
This movie is set in China
so it has the full effect of
the sport of Karate. Although there will be no
one from the original Karate Kid, this movie has a
chance to be a big hit in the
box office. The Karate Kid
opens June 11, 2010.
The movie that everyone is going to be talking
about is MacGruber. Originally, MacGruber is a skit
on “Saturday Night Live”
and now is coming to the
big screen. MacGruber is
a spoof of the old TV show,
MacGyver.
MacGruber
has all the stars of “Saturday Night Live” and all the
comedy of the skit also.
MacGruber opens May 21,
2010.
The movie is finally
here. The A-Team has hit
the big screen with top
actors and actresses. The
A-Team starring Bradley
Cooper, Liam Neeson,
UFC fighter Quinton Jackson, and Jessica Biel. The
A-Team has been accused
of a crime that they did not
commit and use all their resources in attempt to clear
their name. The A-Team
opens June 11, 2010.
May 2010
Most people may say
I’m a little outspoken. I tell
people how it is and what I
really think. I do not sugar
coat anything. I say what I
mean and mean what I say.
I may come off as an antisocial everyday girl, but I
am much more than that.
My name is Kendra Kendall, but I go by Kendra Kay.
I am the business manager
of the Cardinal Chronicle
along with Jessica Sanders, and I am a currently a
junior.
Camping, paintballing,
country music, and softball
are some things I enjoy. A
lot of people may see me
with my nieces and nephews. Many may think that
these are my children, but
this is not true.
I have many personal
problems that I keep to myself; these include medical
and family problems. The
obstacles that I have been
through have made me the
person I am, and I do not
regret any of the choices I
have made.
Camp’s Corner
By Jake
McCulley
We all love to steal each
other’s things, but the fact
remains that it is illegal, not
to mention immoral, to do
so. The focus of this month’s
Camp’s Corner is theft, and
specifically on the prevention of theft.
The best way to avoid losing valuable goods to stickyfingered schoolyard ruffians
is simply to not bring them
to school. Officer Camp
suggests leaving iPods and
cell phones at home, and it is
also wise not to bring excess
cash to school. He realizes,
however, that many students
will not heed this advice, and
recommends just to use valuable products with discretion,
and not to leave them where
they are easily accessible.
Purses are not ironclad
fortresses of unstealibility, and all you lovely ladies
would do well to remember
it. Keep them nearby and in
sight. Lock your car doors
when you come to school, and
if for some reason you leave
valuables in your vehicle, try
to obscure them from sight.
Anyone can cruise through
the parking lot at any time
of day, and unlocked cars are
all too easy to access.
Should you find yourself
an unlucky victim of theft
while at NHS, the first step
is to go to the main office
and file a report. The faculty
there will help you complete
the process. If you know
who stole an item and wish
to tell Officer Camp in confidence, that option is also
available.
Cardinal Chronicle
Junk of the Month
By Kelsey
Johnson
Walking through the
parking lot on one of the
nicer days this spring, it
was easy to spot out this
month’s target. A white
1992 convertible Chevy
Cavalier RS sitting below
the greening canopy of trees
by the parking lot. From
a distance, it would seem
to be just any other high
school student’s means of
transportation: kind of old
and jalopy. When you get
close however, you can see
the distinguishable factors
that qualified Luke Mulgrew, 2011, as winner of
Junk of the Month.
To start, there are not
side view mirrors, one lost
due to a high way collision
with a deer and the other
due to some rough housing which resulted in Luke
accidently kicking off the
passenger side mirror.
Also, in a fit of anger he hit
a dent into the back passenger side. The car is hard to
get going in the mornings
and requires time to heat
up also. He gets about 20
miles to the gallon in town,
which isn’t terrible, though
he is about 8,000 miles
over due for an oil change.
When he received the
car, it already had a rather
large hole in the trunk
and rims that were spray
painted chrome. The rim
cut the valve and flattened
one of the tires, now Luke
cruises around in a rimless
ride. Though he doesn’t
have any air conditioning, all he has to do is put
down the top and enjoy the
fresh cool air. When asked
if he would trade, enthusiastically he said he would
most definitely for a 2010
Camaro; a sweet ride indeed.
Junktastic: Luke Mulgrew, 2011, stands proudly by his 1992
Chevy Cavalier RS. The car’s many issues earned it this month’s
coveted “Junk of the Month” prize. Photo by Kelsey Johnson.
Tail Feathers - Page 12
Celeb Scoop
By John Wells
With the school year
wrapping up, this is the last
Celeb Scoop of the year. The
most devastating news is that
rock star Brett Michaels was
rushed to the hospital with a
brain hemorrhage. Michaels
had to have surgery and has
since recovered. Statistics
show that if a person has a
second brain hemorrhage,
the chances of surviving it
are slim to none. Michaels
is on the road again with his
band to do shows, but has
emergency stops planned if
needed.
Former NFL player Lawrence Taylor, LT, is accused
of sexually assaulting a
Hola, me llamo Jessica
Sanders. I am 16, a sophomore, and I despise it with
a deep passion. I am legally
blind. So, I hate being 16
and never being able to
drive. You have probably
seen me in the hall with
my enormous books or
have seen me in the LMC
with my orange/red tinted
glasses on. I am the business and advertising manger with Kendra Kendall
for the Cardinal Chronicle.
Here are some interesting
facts about me:
I want to go to Iowa
State and become either
a journalist or marine biologist. My favorite food
is shrimp scampi and my
favorite beverage is Mountain Dew. Recently, I tried
an energy drink called
Amp, and it was very de-
woman. LT claims that he
did not have sex with the
woman. The woman who is
accusing LT is 16 years old.
A witness agrees with everything that LT has said.
In the Rock news, Gene
Simmons is accused of
sexual assaulting a woman
from ESPN. Simmons says
that he couldn’t do anything
because he had a suit of armor on. In other Rock news
Ronnie James Dio, who took
over as the lead singer of
Black Sabbath after Ozzy
Osbourne, died after a battle
with stomach cancer. Dio is
credited for popularizing the
“devil’s horn” hand gesture
in the metal world.
lightful, but I have only
tried the red kind, so I need
to try the others.
My favorite animals are
sharks: they amaze me beyond belief. And I really
want to go swimming with
great white sharks one day.
That is one thing on my
bucket list.
I usually text my day
away, and it doesn’t bother
me one little bit. My life is
pretty dull, but I guarantee
I will make history when
I become a journalist and
you see my name in the
New York Times, or when
you hear about me finding
a new fossil of an animal
that no one has ever seen
before. You will hear about
me if while I’m swimming
with great white sharks,
I get eaten alive and it all
gets caught on video.