karl urban – judge dredd

Transcription

THE VOICE OF MASSEY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS - SEPTEMBER 2012 - ISSUE 7
www.massivemagazine.org.nz
BRET
MCKENZIE – KARL URBAN – JUDGE DREDD – GAY MARRIAGE
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CONTENTS
ISSUE SEVEN
At the time of publication the
organisation for this year’s
Aotearoa Student Press Awards
(ASPA Awards) were just about to
be completed, and it is looking to
be a very good event for student
media.
The ASPA Awards are a great
way for the hard work put in by
student contributors to magazines
all around the country to be recognised by their peers and industry
professionals. The awards are a
jointly organised event between
editors of student publications,
from Critic to Craccum and everywhere in-between. It is also a great
way to meet other writers and
mingle with editors and journalists
attending the event.
This year the awards have been
sponsored by Fairfax Media and
Massey University, and are being
held at the Tea Gardens, on the
Massey
University
Campus.
MASSIVE is currently going
through this year’s editions to
make our entries and we are
hoping for some good results.
There is a lot of great stuff written
already and with this edition right
on the cut off it will be a tough
decision what to put forward.
It’s a good problem to have, really,
and one that shows the talent
of the students contributing to
MASSIVE. Give yourself a pat on
the back and I hope to see you all
at the awards.
Contributors should already have
received an invitation via email,
but anyone who may have been
missed can send me an email
requesting one at [email protected]
REGULARS
02. IN SHORT
10. WELLINGTON NOTICES
12. ALBANY NOTICES
14. PALMERSTON NORTH NOTICES
16. LETTERS
58. COLUMNS
60. REVIEWS
62. COMIC
64. PUZZLES
FEATURES
18. PRIDE AND GROOM
22. SPRIGS SHARPENED FOR ANNUAL RUGBY MASSACRE
24. BOY RACER ACT - EXCESSIVE AND DISCRIMINATORY
26. LIVING BELOW THE LINE
28. KARL UBAN: JUDGE, JURY AND EXECUTIONER
31. 2000AD: HOME OF THE JUDGE
34. PATH TO COMIC-BOOK FAME NO LAUGHTHING MATTER
38. SUCCESS, TITLES, AND NEOGOTIATIONS WITH KERMIT
40. FISH OUT OF WATER
46. INSIDE THE MIND OF AN OLYMPIC MEDALIST
48. COFFEE WITH KATE
50. MILLS & POON: DICK HARDY & JENNA TALIA
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
52. MASSEY’S GOT TALENT
SPORTS
54. BLACK STICK DOES IT FOR PALMY
56. LANCE ARMSTRONG: NOW IT IS ABOUT THE BIKE
EDITOR
Matt Shand
[email protected]
04 801 5799 ext 62068
DESIGN, LAYOUT & ART DIRECTION
Cameron Cornelius
[email protected]
04 801 5799 ext 62064
Matt Shand, MASSIVE editor
ADVERTISING & SPONSORSHIP MANAGER
Jacob Webb
[email protected]
04 801 5799 ext 62069
027 894 8000
CONTRIBUTORS
Cameron Cornelius, Jacob Sparrow, Yvette Morrissey,
Annabel Hawkins, Paul Berrington, Olivia Marsden, Emilie
Marschner, Harriet Lowe, Nicole Canning, Sarah Harris,
Yasmine Jellyman, Danielle Ritchie, Harpreet Kaur, Harriet
Lowe, Matt Shand, Georgia Todd, Logan Carr, Dick Hardy,
Jenna Talia, Abigail Legget, Jack Biggs, Claydan Kirvan,
Roy McGrath
PUBLISHER
WWW.MASSIVEMAGAZINE.ORG.NZ
ISSN 2253-5918 (Print)
ISSN 2253-5926 (Online)
This publication uses vegetable based inks and environmentally
responsible papers. The document is printed throughout on
SUMO Laser, which is FSC® certified and from responsible
and Well Managed Forests, manufactured under ISO14001
Environmental Management Systems. MASSIVE magazine is
committed to reducing its environmental footprint.
IN SHORT
Felicity Wren
1991 - 2012
To dear Fliss,
It has been an honour to know, work, have
fun with and love you.
What we are all feeling now is a reflection of
just how much you gave to this world.
Always in my heart,
Mon.
P.s. I especially miss your bounce. XOX
Dear Fliss,
It is with great sadness that we share the
news of the death of Massey University
Student Felicity Wren, 20. Felicity was
travelling in a car that collided with a truck
on State Highway 27 south of Auckland.
Felicity was a talented photographer and
was travelling to participate in Auckland’s
Fashion Week as a photographer. She was
in the third year of a Bachelor of Design
(Hons) majoring in Photography.
On behalf of Massey University, ViceChancellor Steve Maharey conveyed his
deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences to Felicity's family, friends and
students and staff who knew her.
College of Creative Arts Pro Vice-Chancellor
Associate Professor Claire Robinson says
Felicity was an extremely talented and
popular student. "She was described as
sparkling and talented and was very well
liked by staff as well as students."
A memorial service will be held on the
Wellington campus later in the semester.
The photographs that follow are just some
examples of her work. More can be found at
cargocollective.com/felicitywren
02
I don’t know where to start because for one
I didn’t know you personally, yet I feel like I
knew you anyway. Those around you spoke
of you and I heard snippets, but most of all,
from your beautiful sister who we met while
we were in London. She carries so much
love for you, and your beautiful smile lives
on in her. Our family were all looking forward
to meeting you at Christmas this year, but
we will have to carry the torch for you and
celebrate your life the only way the Stephens
family know how, by laughing and sharing
joy. Brett will always look after Jess. Rest
easy, Fliss, and know you are in our thoughts
always.
Megan x
MASSIVE ARTISTS,
ILLUSTRATORS &
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Cover Art –A.S.N.T
allstylenotalent.blogspot.co.nz
My darling Fliss,
You were the happiest, most charming girl I
have ever met. I loved your welcoming smile
and your ready compliments, your wit and
your talent. The rest of the gang and I are
struggling to continue without you. I hope
your last thoughts were happy ones and you
left us feeling at peace with the world.
So much love and sadness,
Greta and the rest of the team at Country
Road
A.S.N.T graduated from Massey in 2009
with a Major in Graphic Design. He’s
done a lot of work for MASSIVE over the
past year as well as Magneto Magazine.
His blog features: gig posters, diaries,
posters, advertising, business cards, and
just generally really well ‘refined’ design.
He also loves doing work for money, so
feel free to hit him up [email protected]
Fish out of Water - Jacob Sparrow
http://jacobsparrowsrighthand.tumblr.com
Jacob studied Illustration at Massey,
graduating in the class of 2010. He
approached MASSIVE Magazine looking
for some work experience ‘illustrating
articles, stories, obscene rants or
anything’ and we were blown away by
some of his work on his tumblr.
We recommend checking out some of
his other illustrations online and if you
have any freelance work flick him an
email on: [email protected]
MASSIVE would also like to say a special
thanks to comic artists who helped us
with the feature article:
Adrian Kinnaird
http://fromearthsend.blogspot.co.nz/
Adrian Kinnaird operates a blog on the
New Zealand comic culture, From Earths
End. It is vital reading for anyone looking
for information on the scene and we
would like to thank him for putting us
into contact with so many comic book
artists and writers for the feature.
Richard Fairgray
http://blastosaurus.com/
Fliss, you were always as sweet as a melted
toffee pop and as adorable as a wee kitten.
I don’t think I ever saw your face without a
smile. Always so funny, kind, and caring.
Everything I always wanted to be came so
easily and naturally to you. But I was never
jealous, Just in awe that someone could be
so amazing and inspiring. I felt like I always
wanted to be around you as you were
always so easy to talk to and have fun with.
I will always remember your sweet heart
and friendly manner. You are an inspiration
and I hope that I can make myself a better
person, always treating others in the special
way you would. Your an Angel that has been
called home early. Fly free Fliss, and watch
over us till we see you again. Love Forever,
Jayne xxxx
Richard Fairgray along with Terry Jones
are the collective mind behind the
popular New Zealand comic, Blastosaurus. It is recommended reading
for anyone taking a sanity break at
assignment time.
Li Chen
http://www.exocomics.com/
Li Chen operates the web comic Extra
Ordinary amongst other projects. Careful
when heading to her site to check out
her works, you may end up spending a
lot of time going through every strip one
after the other.
Leo Hupert
http://www.graphiccomics.co.nz/
MASSIVE would like to say thanks to Leo
from Graphic Comics on Cuba Street,
Wellington, for providing us with back
issues, and information about 2000AD
for use in our feature.
Jayne Evans
03
IN SHORT
UNI TEAM WINS BRONZE AT WORLD EOUESTRIAN CHAMPS
TWO MASSEY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS WERE PART
of the New Zealand team that won bronze at the
10th World University Equestrian Championships held in Aachen, Germany in August.
More than 200 riders from 26 countries competed
on borrowed horses. This was the first time New
Zealand has sent a team to the biannual event.
The competition was run in a knockout style,
with the best of three riders progressing to the
next round in their pool.
During the riders’ ball it was announced that
the New Zealand team, then sitting in second
place, along with Germany and France had made
the final selection. The final team consisted of
Chloe Akers (Opiki), Helen Bruce (Feilding), and
Rachael Bentall (Hawke’s Bay), who competed
individually and as a team in dressage and show
jumping.
Akers is in her third year at Massey, studying a
Bachelor of Teaching (Primary School) internally.
She has represented New Zealand overseas many
times, competing in young rider show jumping
and equitation. She also won the inaugural New
04
Zealand Universities Championship in show
jumping.
Bruce graduated from Massey in May with
a degree in applied science, majoring in
agriculture. She regularly competes in eventing
and show jumping at a high level, while Bentall is
in her third year of at Auckland University.
“When we found out we had qualified to go into
the medal final, we couldn’t quite believe it,”
said Akers. “We were the new kids on the block
and the other 25 teams have been participating
in these student competitions all year, some
longer.”
In the medal final the teams started with a clean
slate and competed in group dressage and a
difficult jumping course.
Akers, who is used to riding borrowed horses,
said the dressage was the most challenging.
“The horses had to adapt to three different
riders a day. Some of the dressage horses were
tired or stressed if they had already had already
been ridden twice”. Dressage coach and Grand
Prix rider Penny Castle was thrilled with their
performance in the dressage.
“The riders had just five minutes to warm up
inside the main arena and have never experienced anything like this before. Both France and
Germany are seasoned campaigners at this type
of event.” The jumping was judged on style plus
any faults accumulated, and speed. Akers gained
the winning score, but Bruce and Bentall had a
few minor problems. Germany won with France
second.
Trainer John Cottle said New Zealand’s bronze
was “beyond” their expectations.
“It’s the first time New Zealand has had a team at
the championships and they’ve done brilliantly.
This is out of season for us, and their efforts are
a real credit to the work they have put in over the
winter months.” Bruce said receiving a medal was
amazing. “I wish I could bottle that feeling!” She
expressed her gratitude to her team members,
and their coaches.
Other events the riders attended included the
opening ceremony, an Aachen town tour, and a
meeting with the mayor. Yvette Morrisey
B-BOYS SHOW RIDICULOUS SKILLS
THE BEST B-BOYS FROM AUSTRALIA, JAPAN,
Laos, Vietnam, South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore,
Malaysia, Hong Kong, Indonesia and New
Zealand competed in the Red Bull BC One Asia
Pacific Qualifiers at Vector Arena in Auckland on
September 1.
It was the first time the event had been held in
New Zealand, and although I’m admittedly not
the best-educated person on the art of breakdancing, you didn’t have to be a professional to
enjoy the night.
Red Bull BC One started in 2004 and has become
one of the world’s most prestigious B-Boy competitions. It was even, in fact, voted best B-Boy
Event 2011 at the World of Dance Awards. This
year the final is in Rio De Janerio, Brazil, in
December, and the winner from the Asia Pacific
Qualifier wins a spot in the comp, which is
already something to put at the top of the B-Boy
version of a CV, in caps lock and bold.
To have the Asia Pacific Qualifiers in New
Zealand was a huge deal for people in the New
Zealand underground B-boy scene.
One of the judges from the night, Swerve,
explained the excitement: “This is a highlight for
the scene. We haven’t had a big B-Boy event like
this in a long time. Having all the international
dancers here in Auckland is a big thing.
“The local B-Boys look at these guys like superstars and to meet them is really great for us.
Events like this need to keep happening.
“The B-Boy scene in New Zealand has been
around since the early 80s. The scene is still
small, but well educated about B-Boying and
Hip-Hop culture. It’s a healthy scene, but we
need events like this to keep growing.” It looked as though there were about 2,000 people
when the event kicked off, and what I found the
funniest was the diversity of the audience. They
ranged from the expected underground B-boys
from around the country, and mums with their
children, to pretty girls in dresses, tomboys
in pumas, and professional schmoozers of the
socialite ‘think I’m famous but really I’m good for
not that much’, Jamie Ridge-type scene with VIP
tickets proudly swinging around their necks.
To be honest, the thing that really convinced me
to book that Grabaseat flight up from Wellington
was the MC for the night, Rahzel, ‘Godfather of
Noyse’, who is most well-known (in my mind)
as being from the incredible hip-hop band The
Roots. I was lucky enough to see them play for
the first time just a couple of months ago, and so
to see Rahzel again was an opportunity I couldn’t
miss.
And booking those flights was a great decision!
During one of the shows between battle breaks,
Rahzel took the mic and began to show the crowd
exactly why he is known as the ‘undisputed
beatbox champion of the world’. He beatboxed
for around five minutes, blew the crowd away,
and to make things even better, my arms got
quite the workout holding my iPhone to record
the entire thing. Summer is coming, ya know.
In the end it was Shorty Force from South Korea
who won the final against his fellow countryman
and favourite, Differ. The panel of five judges
decided on the winner unanimously and BC
One All Star Ronnie, from the USA, explained
the decision: “Differ has a very unique style
and I respect him a lot for that, but looking at
execution, Shorty Force was just on point. He
pulled all the stops and went all out, while Differ
looked tired and kind of looked like he gave up in
the last battle.” Unfortunately, local heroes Grub-D and Akorn
from Common Crew in Christchurch got eliminated in the first round. But making it to the
qualifiers is huge for them and I’m sure they’ll
continue to up their game for next year’s competition.
As well as the insane battles and the beatboxing
from Rahzel, BC One also showed off native
dance crews Kapa Haka and Aranui Dance,
and even the judging panel, which consisted of
the Red Bull BC One All Stars Taisuke, Roxrite,
Ronnie, and Pelezinho, and Swerve, showed off
their B-boy skills before the final battle.
All in all, it was an amazing night that showcased
the ridiculous skills of all 16 B-boys who
competed. If you’re interested, the Africa Middle
East Qualifier is on September 14 and the World
Final is in Rio on December 8. Isabelle Truman
MUSA’S GOT HEART
Massey University Students Association of Palmerston North (MUSA)
proved that they are, contrary to popular belief, a bunch of upstanding
‘GCs’ when they came to the rescue of students stranded after a fire
burned down their Morris Street home.
While they didn’t rush headlong and pull out people from the burning
house, they did give the occupants a roof over their heads, and
free rent for the rest of the academic year. They also provided food
vouchers and free rental of appliances. What a bunch of cool cats!
05
IN SHORT
WORLD PRESS PHOTOGRAPHY AN EYE-OPENER
Miriam Richdale
THE OPENING NIGHT OF 55TH ANNUAL WORLD
Press Photography Exhibition opened my eyes
to something more than just an image.
“In closing, I want to pay tribute to Rémi
Ochlik. I remember profoundly the day I called
Rémi to tell him that he had been awarded first
prize in the General News Story category for
his series on the Battle for Libya. He could
hardly believe it. His girlfriend later told us
‘he finally believed he was good’. On that
same day when I called him, Rémi left for an
assignment in Syria and 12 days later he, along
with Marie Colvin, were killed when the media
centre they were in was shelled by Syrian
forces.” -Anna Lena Mehr, Project Manager,
Contest and Awards Days, World Press Photo.
Remi Ochlik was a French photo-journalist
who captured a series of moments when
there was strong opposition to the rule of
long-time Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi.
As a result of the opposition, intense fighting
broke out between Libyan military and rebel
militia, with other pro-Gaddafi forces. Ochlik
managed to capture an image of rebel fighters
as they conducted an assault on the Gaddafi
family compound in the capital of Tripoli on
23 September last year.
Putting himself in the firing line he then
captured images of rebels holding an alleged
mercenary in Tripoli, and documented the
body of Colonel Gaddafi as he lay in a storage
room on the outskirts of Misrata.
To be a part of the World Press Photography
Exhibition is an honour. I spoke to Anna
Lena Mehr in order to gain an insight into
06
the challenging profession that is photojournalism. She spoke fondly of a friend who
had died doing what he loved and shared the
challenges of the industry.
As media, press photographers, in particular,
are fronting an ever-changing landscape; the
profession of photojournalism faces many
twists and turns with the click of a button.
Often, the ways in which a photo journalist
captures a moment in time is not taken into
account by those looking at it.
The sphere in which images are disseminated is evolving. So, too, is the way in which
the audience consumes. This means there is
considerably less money to send press photographers away. The evolving landscape means
that anyone anywhere can document these
events. And this means that photographers
have to find new ways to fund their projects.
Some will be required to raise money online
for their ventures and think outside the box.
All part and parcel of press photography, some
might say.
Anna Lena tells me that “being a press
photographer has always been a challenging
profession – the physical and mental
exertion, the daily stress of long hours and
short deadlines, and always the obligation to
deliver”. As we have witnessed recently, press
photographers often pay a high price to bring
us the images we take for granted. Some
are taken in abysmal conditions, with little
gratitude or reward.
Because the nature of news cycle is to always
progress towards the next tragedy, it is easy
for the most recent events in Syria or Libya
to fade from our memories. The aim of The
World Press Photography Exhibition is to
appreciate these often unsung heroes. Despite
the conditions in which they are working, they
still offer a window to that part of the world.
Anna told me that in the past year, 76
journalists, four of them photographers, have
lost their lives while on assignment. At least
213 are still imprisoned or declared missing.
The exhibition is still visited by more than two
million people worldwide every year. Online,
multimedia, or cross-media developments
have not influenced the desire of people to visit
an actual exhibition, which is great for raising
awareness in often unchartered territory.
Deciding who will have the honour of winning
the title of World Press Photo of the Year is no
simple task.
The jury filters through 100,000-plus images
to decide which one could embody the best
photography produced the previous year.
Because some categories have up to 20,000
images, it is especially hard for the first-round
jury as they have to narrow down the images
while viewing each one for no longer than
two seconds. This means there is no time to
discuss the images in detail. For them it is
really about the image being good enough to
be passed through to the second-round jury.
The winning image for this year’s exhibition is
of a mother holding her son who is suffering
from the effects of tear gas after participating
in a street demonstration in Sanaa, Yemen.
The winning photographer was Samuel
Aranda. For him, the image “shows the
intensity of feeling” between mother and son,
and he encourages those who see it to think
about the people, and not the veil, or about the
prejudice that we in the West have regarding
the Arab world.
Anna reinforces this, saying “we owe a debt
to Samuel Aranda. His portrait of a Yemini
mother and son contains both the familiar
and the terrifying. Their intimate embrace is
known to us all, but thankfully the suffering is
not, and although their identities are concealed
by affection and social custom, thanks to the
work of Samuel their story is not.”
With the jury looking to select a winner for
2012 in February next year, the stakes will
be high. If an image seems manipulated, the
photographer is contacted before the contest
starts. The jury does not censor any images,
so essentially what you see before you is a
depiction of real-life events as they happen.
For me, it shows a stark contrast to what is
normally seen in New Zealand media and
remains a consistent eye-opener.
If I could take anything from viewing the
exhibition itself, it would be knowing that
somewhere in some part of the world there are
people doing what they love, even if it means
paying the price of a life.
ONLY
ONE
JAY-Z
ONLY ONE
03
IN SHORT
LA DE DA FESTIVAL TIPPED TO BE BEST YET
The La De Da festival is entering its third year of existence and is promising to provide
everything you want for a New Year to remember. Paul Berrington takes a look at what it
has to offer.
ABOUT 10,000 PARTYGOERS ARE EXPECTED TO
attend this year’s La De Da festival in Martinborough for what is being tipped as the best yet.
Those who have been before know what to
expect – a great setting in the green fields of
Martinborough, a diverse line-up of international and local acts across a range of genres,
and a vibe that makes this one of New Zealand’s
best festival experiences.
Co-promoter Josh Mossman says that going
into year 3 they want “to raise the bar yet
again”, and he believes they have achieved that
by attracting another fantastic line-up.
David Dallas is an example of how strong
local hip-hop has become over the past few
years, and his reputation for outstanding live
performances looks set to provide one of the
highlights. International DJ duo the Nextmen
have toured New Zealand many times, establishing a reputation for bringing the party to
life with their blend of everything from UK
rap through to D&B bringing the sound of
a block party to any stage they perform on.
It wouldn’t be a truly New Zealand festival
without the addition of reggae, and local
heroes 1814, built around the Colbert brothers,
provide a 10-piece extravaganza that features
08
original songs alongside classics from Burning
Spear and Dennis Brown. In addition, the
self-proclaimed ‘sunshine reggae’ sound of
Wellington band Tomorrow People is perfectly
suited to sunny days and the festival vibe.
The sounds of drum and bass are another
favourite of New Zealand festival audiences,
and once again La De Da will provide a selection
of acts that are sure to thrill local fans. Arguably
the two biggest DJs in drum and bass, Andy C
and DJ Marky, provide a guarantee of quality
and fun. Andy C’s skills and tune selection are
second to none, and he has defined D& DJing
for more than a decade, sending fans into
raptures on regular tours to this part of the
world. He will be joined on stage by beatbox
hero Dub FX.
Coming with that Brazilian flavour, DJ Marky
once again brings regular collaborator MC
Stamina along for what is certain to be one of
the highlights of the festival’s electronic stage.
New Zealand’s finest live act, Shapeshifter, look
set to deliver another legendary New Year’s
performance, and headline the event this year.
Those familiar with their previous sets know
that this is one you really can’t afford to miss.
Local legend Concord Dawn will also be there,
while joining these acts on the electronic stage
will be Ram Records act Delta Heavy, and
dubstep innovators Bare Noize.
All of these acts are part of the first
announcement, and many more are due to be
added to the bill over the summer months.
Mossman says they have invested heavily in
the site and infrastructure “so we can provide
our ticket holders with the best possible festival
experience while they make Martinborough
their new home for two nights this December”.
And given the stunning location at Daisybank
Farm that shouldn’t be too difficult.
Another great aspect of the festival is that you
can volunteer to become part of a passionate
team focused on providing a memorable New
Years’ experience.
If you’re available to help set up the stages and
venue, or help during the festival, or perhaps
even during pack-down then contact the organisers through the website. It’s a great way to
see the other side of festival while bringing
your skills to the table, and you also get the
benefit of free entry. Positions are available
for a number of roles, including both skilled
and casual positions, including everything
from carpenters through to traffic controllers
and food stalls. It is also a great opportunity
for Massey nursing students to put their skills
to the test in a practical environment. In other
words, there is a position for everyone, and with
more than 500 crew involved, it’s a chance to
meet like-minded people and have some fun
while enjoying La De Da. All applications must
be in by mid-November, so take a look and see
if it works for you.
Besides these opportunities, Mawsa and La De
Da combine to bring several events together,
including recent shows with hip hop legends
Pharcyde and Ghostface Killah, and several
sold-out events featuring Home Brew and @
Peace. This ongoing relationship not only
guarantees an influx of quality international
acts and national tours, but also benefits
Massey students.
Student discounts are available, and with a
number of ticket options it is easy to work out
what sort of New Year’s adventure suits you.
Passes are available for each day, meaning if you
have time for only one night then you can still
get a great deal, and if you’re more interested in
camping and taking in as much of the festival
as possible, there are discounts available for
passes that will allow you to see everything.
This is the only festival in the lower North
Island over the holiday period and has fast
established itself as one the best in the southern
hemisphere. With a wide range of acts to suit
the tastes of even the most discerning music
lover, La De Da provides a great option for
those needing a break after a tough year of
study and exams. Head over to the website to
keep up to date with further announcements of
acts and DJs, and with any festival news.
The Galaxy’s Greatest Comic is now available
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P.19 (2000AD NEWSTAND AD).indd 1
07/09/2012 10:52
05
WELLINGTON NOTICES
LIGHTENING INTO SPRING
OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS
PUBLIC MEETING
Overeaters Anonymous is a fellowship of
men and women who share the common
problem of food addiction: compulsive
overeating, anorexia, bulimia and obesity.
We are holding a public meeting on
Saturday 29th September 2012 from
10.00 to 11.30 a.m. at the Quaker meeting
house, 7 Moncrieff Street, Mount Victoria,
Wellington.
All are welcome, including people who have
problems with their eating, people who are
concerned about a friend or relative, and
professionals who treat people with food
addiction.
The obsession with food may take many
forms, including a preoccupation with body
weight, size, and shape; eating binges;
starving; excessive exercising; induced
vomiting or excessive laxative use following
a binge; and constant “grazing’’. The
physical and emotional ramifications of
compulsive eating are enormous.
At the public meeting, members will share
their experience and answer questions.
Overeaters Anonymous was founded in
January 1960. Today there are over 6000 OA
group meetings in over 65 countries. There
are no fees for membership. Membership is
open to all.
OA is not affiliated with any public or private
organisation, political movement, ideology
or religious doctrine. The primary purpose
of OA is to carry the message that recovery
is possible.
There are eight meetings a week in
Wellington and others throughout New
Zealand.
For more information, please come to the
public meeting, write to us at PO Box 5332
Wellington, or telephone (04) 384 8821.
10
WHAT BETTER WAY TO WELCOME THE WARMTH
of spring, defrost frozen bones, and shine
some brightness into our eyes than Wellington
Lux illuminating the waterfront nights. From
6pm-9pm on September 1-9, four installations graced the waterfront in a new venture for
Wellington.
THE SERIES INCLUDED:
Acute Self, by Interrupt Collective, a Kiwi masterpiece enabling the viewer an opportunity to investigate and interact with their own movement
as well as experiencing how they occupy their
digital and physical space.
Enigmatica, a renowned installation by
Australian artist Kit Webster.
After Light, by Storybox (NZ), explored how
light continues to inspire and influence people in
our modern world. The work has three chapters
and was 12 minutes long with a mesmerizing
soundtrack.
Wave Light, by Squid Soup (UK), was a
projection work created specifically for the
festival. It allowing the audience to interact with
a large virtual pool of liquid projected on to the
side of Te Papa.
This new venture, a combined contribution from
Wellington City Council, Massey University’s
College of Creative Arts, and award-winning
design company Storybox, is described by Lux’s
organiser, Mary Laine, as a taste tester for years
to come. “We are hoping it will become an iconic
event for Wellington.” Olivia Marsden
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
PIZZA WORTH A MILLION: As the story goes, Tom
Kirton, the man behind Tommy Millions Pizza
and Gelato, was a top law grad a few weeks into
an internship before he decided pizza was his
true passion. He sold his corporate clothes and
headed overseas to learn pizza, New York style.
Upon his return to New Zealand he set up shop in
Miramar in a pizza cart.
For his latest venture, on the corner of Courtenay
Place and Taranaki St, he has teamed up with
Leonardo and Lorenzo Bresolin from Scopa,
who know a good pizza when they see one. But
Tommy Millions maintains a point of difference,
in both ambience and pizza flavours – embrace
street food and eat on the benches of Courtenay
Place.
The New York style is held in high esteem at
Tommy Millions – thin crusts, crisp bubbly edges
and classic flavours. There are no swirls of sugary
sweet barbeque sauce here, no chicken, and no
crusts piped full of fake cheese.
Pizza comes by the slice, sizeable slices too. $5.50
for the weekly special and $5 for the others. The
Porker and Pepperoni are delicious. There is a
kick to the Pepperoni, while the Porker has the
soft sweetness of red onion and clusters of pork
sausage meat. The four-cheese pizza is surprisingly light, and the garnish of two basil leaves is
a fresh touch.
The service is quick and friendly; banter if you
are that way inclined, I feel they would appre-
ciate it. Perhaps less so between 2am and 4am on
Saturdays and Sundays: “It’s carnage,” they all
say. The chili oil bottle has been smashed off the
counter several times and the chefs stretch and
twirl pizza dough at a rapid rate.
Then at a more leisurely hour on Sunday morning
(11am), it starts again. The down and out (read
hungover) buy pizza by the slice, while on the
other side of the pizza joint couples and families
have Gelissimo gelato. This in itself is worth a
trip to Tommy Millions.
You cannot look past the dark chocolate; it is rich
and perfectly bittersweet. I thought the tamarillo
tasted a little unripe, hinting at tomatoes rather
than tamarillos. The Italian Hokey, white
chocolate, tiramisu, pomegranate and berry are
all tried and true. Be sure to choose a waffle cone,
they are more biscuit than cone.
11am-4am Friday and Saturday, 11am-11pm
every other day. Harriet Lowe
CLUBS FEED
LEAVE SUNDAY BLUES AT VEGE MARKET
CHINESE STUDENT ASSOCIATION
The Chinese Student Association already
has two events under their belt. In August
they held a movie night for Chinese students
as well as ‘Chinese Bridge,’ a Chinese
language class for Massey Wellington
students which also introduces them to
traditional Chinese culture – with free
yumcha included! Keep an eye on the poster
boards for more upcoming events.
KOKIRI NGATAHI
Maori students Tyler Dixon and Renee
Ferris exhibited their talented artwork at Iwi
Creativity on September 12 in the CoCA
building. President Nitika Erueti-Satish said
the exhibition was a huge success for Maori
students to have had a place in this event.
MASSEY SURF
SUNDAYS ARE NOT ALWAYS EASY. I KNOW.
WAKING up at 10am fully dressed, with red wine
lips and a bad case of the dry horrors (or worse,
the wet ones) is hard. But for those of you who
are lucky enough to have Sundays free – with the
pleasure of being served as opposed to serving –
then make the most of your Sundays!
The Harbourside Market is not an early morning
commitment. It runs from 7.30-1pm (in winter)
or 2pm (in summer). A handful of coins will set
you up for a week of healthy eating and let you
enjoy the colourful landscape of fresh local fruit
and veges. It’s free to bask in the festive splendor
of live music and floral arrangements.
Begin at the food stalls, lured by exotic aromas
that tickle the palette no matter how hung-over
you are. I like to wake and bake: a hot beverage
from the accordingly named Espresso Rescue
coffee cartel, accompanied by a pastry from
the Simply Paris stall, or perhaps a Hungarian
chimney cake traditionally for special occasions.
A sticky spiraled pastry adorned with almonds,
coconut, chocolate, vanilla, raisins, cinnamon.
Great for dunking.
There are tastes from all over the globe. Asian
influence brings noodles, dumplings, pineapple
bread, murtabak, hot crispy roti wraps, spicy
curries. Latin American contribution is generous
with their finger-lickingly good churros (like
donuts but better), tortillas, empanadas filled
with melted cheese, Brazilian skewers (halloumi
and beef). From Europe we have Fritz’s wieners,
worth waiting in line for if you’re in need of a
good sausage, Simply Paris sweet treats, crepes,
an assortment of salamis. For a reminder of
home, there are always the sizzling bacon-andegg butties. There is something for everyone and
I could easily keep on drooling ...
The market also offers a banquet of artisan foods
at reasonable prices. Deli meats, antipasto,
gourmet salt, fresh loaves of wholegrain or
sourdough, fine olive oils, homemade hummus,
organic honey. You will become a sticky-fingered
child with gumdrop eyes, walking into Willy
Wonka’s chocolate factory.
This is the oldest Wellington market. It has
been running close to every Sunday since 1920.
That’s a long time. Treat yourself this Sunday to
some fresh local produce, great kai, and a bit of
fun. You’ll see why this market is here to stay.
Emilie Marschner
COUNCIL BACKS FAST-TRACK FOR MEMORIAL PARK
Massey Wellington has a new club in the
picture. If you’re interested in joining,
planning some surf trips or learning to surf,
feel free to look up their new Facebook page
Massey Surf.
EXPRESSIVE ARTS
Wednesday September 19, 1pm: The
Expressive Arts Club presents two new short
plays by Massey Expressive Arts Students:
Identity Crisis at the Preloved Goods Store
by Emilie Marschner, and What the Sheep!
by Gemma Natau.
The session will be chaired by local writer Jo
Randerson. Hannah Clark from the Fringe
Festival will also be attending and will be
presenting after the readings on how to go
about putting together a Fringe Festival
event.
Wednesday October 3, 1pm & 7pm:
Students from Making Plays for Theatre
present a series of short performances made
in response to the broad themes explored
in Filloux’s play, Luz. Working primarily with
image, music and choreography, these
original works explore our experiences of,
shift and change, home and away, exclusion
and belonging.
MAYOR CELIA WADE-BROWN SAYS SHE IS
delighted Wellington City Council has agreed to
provide considerable support for the creation of a
new National War Memorial Park in Wellington.
The Council’s Strategy and Policy Committee
today agreed to support the fast-tracking of legislation to enable the park, to be called Pukeahu, to
be developed by Anzac Day 2015 – the centenary
of the Gallipoli landings.
The Committee also agreed that the Council
will contribute a total of $5 million towards the
park’s development.
“The Pukeahu National War Memorial Park
will have great significance at an international,
national, civic and local level,” says Mayor WadeBrown.
“I’m delighted by Council’s support for this park,
which will provide a beautiful space for contemplation.”
Pukeahu was the name of a defended pa on the
ridgetop site now occupied by Massey University
– adjacent to the existing National War Memorial.
A portion of State Highway One between Sussex
and Taranaki streets will be diverted underneath
the new park in a ‘cut and cover’ tunnel.
The Government is expected to spend around $60
million on the park and associated roading work.
Deputy Mayor and Lambton ward Councillor Ian
McKinnon says the park is positive for Wellington
in a number of ways. “It will provide a focal point
for the commemoration of the centenary of the
Gallipoli landing in 2015,” he says.
“Further, while offering another park for Wellingtonians to use throughout the year – which
is particularly important with the increasing
inner-city population – it will also ensure greater
safety for students travelling to and from Massey
University, Wellington High School and Mt Cook
School.”
11
ALBANY NOTICES
LAUNCH OF NEW ACCOUNTANCY AND FINANCE MASTER
The College of Business is launching a new
qualification in accountancy and finance.
The Master of Professional Accountancy and
Finance combines two popular disciplines and
will commence in February 2013.
The qualification will provide students with the
skills they need for leadership in this sector
and enable those already working in the field
to up-skill.
“We are committed to offering opportunities to
those working in the accountancy and finance
areas to enhance their knowledge base and
leap up the career ladder.
The MPAF is the only professional master’s
degree in New Zealand where these two
popular disciplines have been combined,
offering flexibility for those with an undergraduate finance major to up-skill in
accountancy and vice-versa.
It is available by block course at the
Wellington campus or via distance learning.
A PLACE FOR OUEENS, CATS, AND NON-SENSICAL PIMPS ... SUPPOSEDLY
Blake Leitch goes to Wonderland and finds
that student balls are different to what may be
imagined
THE PRELUDE: I had never attended a school/uni
ball before this evening. I never saw the point.
However, I decided it was time to experiment
and see if these things really are fun. Newsflash:
They’re not.
I’m not a fan of themes. I find them somewhat
childish. However, the theme of Wonderland
should be different. It’s not meant to make sense.
It’s breaking down and upholding the system of
themes simultaneously.
Paradoxes are something I enjoy, so I went all
out. Nice shoes, pants, and a dress-shirt as the
basis of my outfit. This was followed by two ties
as a case of ‘why not?’ A white top hat and some
self-explanatory bling completed the attire, while
the moustache and soul patch of a porn star made
me look like the Pimp of Diamonds.
At first, it looked promising. Red mushrooms lit
the entrance while a sign directed ‘This Way To
Wonderland’. The decor should have definitely
made the place feel as though one tumbled down
a rabbit hole.
But there was one problem: the people.
It seemed that the majority of people forgot the
memo that there was a fucking theme. I’m not
saying that people have to go all out, but the
majority of people didn’t have so much as a heart
on their sleeve.
12
Granted, I was half-expecting to look ridiculous
(thus, the need for a pre-ball Heineken), but this
was simply disappointing. It ended up being the
fuse for cynicism that would lead to this article.
DANCING: I don’t understand dancing. Actually,
let me clarify: I don’t understand club-style
dancing. Nobody looks intelligent, nobody looks
sociable, and you can almost hear the ankles
crushing as girls in heels jump up and down.
In saying this, it wasn’t a problem I needed to
think about for the first hour after my arrival
(in which I was an hour late anyway). There was
nobody dancing.
This may sound hypocritical of me, considering
I’ve already admonished dancing, but the point
of a dance floor is to look like that unsociable
idiot previously described. An empty dance floor
with all its potential inhabitants surrounding is
like McDonald’s surrounded and uninhabited by
fatties: pointless. (I can say this, I’m a fatty).
When the dancing did begin, my theory of
unintelligent, unsociable, painful jumping was
proven right. However, there was something
else that was noticeable in this – nobody danced
properly!
Again, let me clarify. People were club-dancing,
but nobody did the stupid ritual right. After
about four seconds of jumping and lunging and
somebody mistakenly thinking they looked cool,
that somebody would stop and try to talk to their
friends over the horrendously loud and terrible
music (a subject which will be further discussed
soon).
After realising that they were inaudible, the
idiotic somebody would do this all over again.
This moronic cycle was continued by every single
person dancing until they decided to sit down
or go and drink. Jump Stop Try and talk Fail
Jump. It doesn’t work.
MUSIC: Just another part of the party culture, but
another part which I find pointless. A DJ who
looked far too old to be a DJ played music at such
a level that could very well make one’s internal
organs bleed.
Not only was the music stupidly loud, but it was
absolutely terrible. If a song already has some
sort of catchy riff, there is no need to add loud
electro-drums in the hope that people will dance
to it.
I think there may also have been confusion as
to what a ball is meant to be. Bless the two who
actually tried to slow-dance to the torrent of shit
that assaulted our ears, but where was the slow
music?
It is to be expected that as party-culture takes
its modern twist, club-music will not only be
present, but will be dominant. However, for no
slow music to be played in two hours makes a
mockery of the supposed social event that is a ball.
DRESS: It would be very self-fulfilling if I were
to continue my rant against the lack of themed
outfits, but other aspects must also be discussed.
In fact, this aspect may be more important.
What is the point in high heels? I’ve been told
that the reason behind them is to make one’s butt
firmer. Is this really how unsure young women
are about their social skills? Or are they under
the influence that any good man is really this
shallow? If a guy is going to be shallow enough to
make a relationship or relational judgment based
off of the firmness of you booty, then he’s really a
guy you don’t want to be with.
I’m not averse to a beautiful booty, but it isn’t
the first thing I look at when I meet someone.
There’s this thing called a face which is usually
the foundation for the physical beauty which that
girl holds, which every girl holds.
LEAVING THE RABBIT HOLE: In the end, it was
an interesting experience for the most part. I
was introduced to a world which was alarmingly
similar to a conservative world I had previously
known. The only differences really were alcohol
and small clothes.
This is a social aspect of life that I will never
understand. I enjoy conversation, not crumping.
However, this article will probably change
very little, if anything at all. If it does change
something, it is my hope that girls or young
women, whichever you’d prefer to be called, can
come to understand that not all men are assholes.
Moreover, the assholes aren’t worth making the
effort for.
Oh, and could someone explain to me, what the
fuck is a dougie?
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PALMERSTON NORTH NOTICES
ARTS ON WEDNESDAY
NOTICES
PERFORMANCE FIGURES HIGHLIGHT
DEFICIENT TERTIARY STRATEGY
IT’S BEEN RUNNING FOR 22 YEARS, IT HAPPENS
every Wednesday, it comes riddled with crazy,
colourful, zombies, and it’s all about promoting
the up and coming performing arts talent that
Massey University has to offer. It’s Arts on
Wednesday, and despite the upheaval out of the
Sir Geoffrey Peren building, it’s still here and
making its mark.
Held every Wednesday at 12:30pm throughout
the semester, Arts on Wednesday is the chance
for students, lecturers, and anyone else interested to tackle hump day and treat themselves to
the delight and joy of watching live performing
arts for free.
Although it may not be held in the comforting
confines of the drama lab anymore, Arts on
Wednesday has found its new home in the Wool
The Government has continued its attack
on extramural students, infuriating Massey
students with the release of misleading
performance figures for the university sector.
Annual performance information released
by the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC)
this week favours institutions that focus on
full-time internal students. The performance
criterion misrepresents the quality outcomes
achieved by Massey which enable older
students, students who are working, and
students who live in isolated areas to achieve
qualifications through part-time and distance
study.
Massey University is being penalised for
providing education to part-time students
who balance study with work, parenting and
financial pressures.
“The Government does not value students
studying part-time,” says Ralph Springett,
President of the Massey University Extramural Students’ Society. “Furthermore, these
students are labelled as poor performers
purely because they study part-time.”
Barriers have increased for those who wish
to study part-time. Part-timers are not able
to get course-related costs to travel to
on-campus courses. Should students decide
to continue to post-graduate study, they will
be unable to receive student allowances.
They will have to study full time around work
pressures, further affecting grades.
While many full-time, loan-encumbered
students intend to work overseas after graduating, part-time students are more likely to
be in work, have little or no student loan, and
remain in New Zealand after graduation.
“The very students who are contributing to
our economy, cost us less and are more likely
to stay in New Zealand are those penalised,”
Mr Springett says. “You’d think the
Government would be focusing on educating
the New Zealand workforce rather than the
Australian workforce
14
Building on the stark edges of campus. Once
known for the taunt and terror of exams, the
Wool Building has been redesigned and is now
host to all things creative arts.
On various dates of the calendar, Arts on
Wednesday is now being brought to the people.
In the form of an Art Attack (much like a flash
mob, but different), Arts on Wednesday will be
held in the dining hall.
The zombies staggering around campus come
Wednesday lunchtimes are the marketing appeal
for Arts on Wednesday. Developed by Massey
University Arts Officer Karen Newton, the
zombies are there to create interest and intent
for the performances, and to show audience
members where to go.
Arts on Wednesday features a range of multimedia, film, drama, dance and music. Included
in the upcoming calendar are Art Attacks, a
documentary called ‘Brother’ which is based
on Wellington’s Blanket Man, the drama in
performance students’ performance, and much
more. See the events page on the Massey website
for full dates, location, and information.
Arts on Wednesday relies on the huge support
it receives from the School of English and
Media Studies. It also relies on those involved.
If anyone would like to partake and perform in
Arts on Wednesday, or you would like to put
some make up on and be a zombie, contact Karen
Newton [email protected]. Lastly, Arts
on Wednesday relies on an audience so be sure to
be part of it. Nicole Canning
FESTIVAL OF NEW ARTS
EVER THOUGHT ABOUT FLYING? EVER THOUGHT
about what flight means to you? Is it about
escaping? Is it about reaching new heights? Or is
it about soaring and landing at new lows?
The theme of flight, from literal to abstract, is the
basis of this year’s Festival of New Arts (FONA)
and will act as a loose and broad idea connecting
the five plays, five poems, dance, and film that
feature in the festival.
For those new to the concept, the festival is an
annual performance showcasing new creative
pieces that have been crafted solely for the
purpose of the festival. Nothing is a re-hashed
rendition of a better former version, or
something you have seen 100 times before. With
all of the pieces being written or developed by
members of the Manawatu, the festival comes as
a prime opportunity to bask in the glory of what
Palmerstonians have to offer.
FONA comes intertwined with multi-media and
a wide range of performing arts from dance to
poetry for performance. Again, for those new to
the concept, poetry for performance is not like
performance poetry where someone stands on
stage and mind numbingly recites a haiku. Poetry
for performance is about turning a poem into a
performance by using visual means of puppetry,
film, or multi-voice animation for example.
Across the five plays in the festival, are four short
performances and one full length play. Named
Smoke and Mirrors, the full length play, was
written by Karen Markwell and won 2nd prize for
Playwright of the Year hosted by the Playwrights
Association of New Zealand.
FONA has a total performance and production
cast of roughly 60-70 people including several
professional directors and dancers. Amongst the
mix is this year’s Artistic Director Jaime Dëorner,
lecturer in the Performing Arts Diploma at UCOL,
and director of the 2011 Summer Shakespeare.
FONA will be held over the first two weekends
of October, from the 5 to 7 at the Hokowhitu
campus drama workshop, and the 12 to 14 at
the Globe Theater with tickets sold via cash door
sales.
While performer and playwright Div Collins
describes it as, "A veritable cornucopia of thespianism delights,” in none riddled terms FONA is
set to be a genuine abundance of acting entertainment. Nicole Canning
TURITEA DINING HALL FOOD IS CRAPOLA
OPINION: Sarah Harris says competition on campus would encourage the serving of edible food.
THE MASSEY UNIVERSITY TURITEA CAMPUS
Dining Hall is a place where students and
staff gather to eat, study, and catch up with
friends, especially during the common break on
Wednesdays from 12pm till 2pm when no one
has anywhere else to be and good luck getting a
free computer at the library.
The Dining Hall predominantly serves the
purpose of feeding the first years living in the
halls, their bright young faces lining up each night
at 5pm to get dinner and excitedly chattering
about the news of the day, who’s sleeping with
who in their hall, who they think has a good
chance of getting into vet (sadly, statistically
most of them won’t, but they don’t need to know
that yet), and so on.
They tuck into plates full of food served up by
staff, who look thoroughly bored, from great vats
full of mass-produced food, the surface of which
is usually dry and crusted from the bright heat
lights above it.
Students get the following on their meal plan:
one main (from a choice of about five or six,
usually including two vegetarian options), salad,
and dessert. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? That’s
what parents across the country think when they
sign their darlings up for the hall of their choice
and the meal plan that goes with it.
The meal plan has to at least include dinner if
you live in one of the main halls situated directly
on campus (Colombo, McHardy, Walter Dyer,
Moginie, Craiglockhart, Bindaloe, Miro, Matai,
Tawa, Totara) which are the halls that suit the
demographic of most of the first years students
at Massey.
HERE’S A TYPICAL MENU FOR A FIRST YEAR
STUDENT AT DINNER:
SALAD: This is generally pasta salad, garden
salad, and roast vegetable salad. It was always a
bit of a mystery to us how they managed to make
all three of these salads taste identical.
Main: Fatty meat cuts, burgers with slimy lettuce
and dry crusted tops, and weird green sludge
labelled “curry”.
DESSERT: If I ever see another “Golden” pudding
again I’ll scream.
OTHER: Fridays are always fat boy Friday, with
chips, fish in batter, burgers – just stuff that
made your arteries clog just by looking at it.
I remember in my first year, some of the people
in my hall (Colombo) and I sat down and calculated how much we were paying for each dinner
we had at the Dining Hall. We calculated that it
was approximately $11 (by subtracting the rent
amount from the total we pay, then dividing by
seven to work out the cost of each meal, if only on
the dinner plan).
We then worked out what we could make for
ourselves paying that much per meal. We could
easily make healthy, nutritious food for ourselves
at a fraction of the cost. Good theory, but we
couldn’t, because the Halls Community Group
didn’t allow self catering in the convenient
on-campus Halls, and still don’t.
It’s not only first years who have found themselves
dissatisfied with over-priced, under-whelming
food. Because the Dining Hall is one of the only
places to eat on the Turitea campus, students are
faced with little option if they don’t have time to
make their own food to bring with them. Many
students study and work, and time to put into
making food daily is something many lack.
At most other universities, students have many
great options for purchasing food. Waikato has
nine different options, while Auckland has 15
cafes and many more shops that sell food items.
This issue was raised recently at the VC Forum,
where students asked Steve Maharey to comment
on the low-quality food served at the Dining Hall.
He acknowledged that something needed to be
done about it.
So what is the solution?
One idea is to stop the monopoly that the Dining
Hall holds over the campus. Other universities have opened up to businesses opening
on campus (such as Auckland having a New
Zealand Natural on campus) which promotes
more options. This would be especially good for
Massey because we are on the edge of Palmerston
North and away from town.
Perhaps some competition would encourage the
Dining Hall to stop serving rubbish and start
serving edible food.
STARTUP WEEKEND WINNERS ASK ‘WHAT’S 4 LUNCH?’
A mobile app that gets children helping with
food preparation has taken out first prize at
Startup Weekend Palmerston North. This was
the first Startup Weekend event held outside a
major city centre in New Zealand.
The weekend-long, hands-on experience gave
aspiring entrepreneurs the chance to find out if
their startup ideas were viable. In just 54 hours,
the winning team developed a website and
mobile phone app to get kids interested in the
food they eat.
Called What’s 4 Lunch, the app provides
recipes with information about each of the
ingredients, including its origin, along with video
and photos. The What’s 4 Lunch team won an
$8000 prize package for their efforts.
Second place and the Open Data Prize was
won by Friendsafe, an app that enables
people to share their travel plans and improve
personal safety. As well as sharing the start
and end-point of a journey with friends, the app
also operates as a communication platform and
emergency feedback alert that records audio,
video, and geo-location data. The Open Data
Prize, worth $1000, was awarded for using local
open data sources.
Little Helper Books received an honourable
mention for their concept, which allows parents
to create games, apps, and ebooks in which
their child is a character to help them deal with
difficult situations.
Startup Weekend Palmerston North was
managed by the BCC, a Palmerston North
based business that specialises in taking
technology ideas to market. The weekend was
sponsored and hosted at UCOL Palmerston
North, with Massey University and Kiwi Landing
Pad being the other major sponsors.
“I was blown away by the quality of what was
achieved over the weekend – it was at the same
level as what we've seen come out of Auckland
and Wellington,” said Dave Moskovitz, Startup
Weekend’s global facilitator. “What really
stood out and made all the difference was the
teamwork. Teamwork trumps naked skill, and
too much ego in a fast-moving high-pressure
situation is a recipe for failure.”
15
LETTERS
LETTERS
MASSIVE magazine welcomes letters of all
shapes and sizes, They should be emailed
to [email protected] though they
can be dropped into any student association office. The Editor reserves the right to
edit, abridge, or just plain bastardise them,
and will refuse any that are in bad taste or
defamatory. Pseudonyms may be used.
PALMY @ WELLINGTON – GOOD WORK ON KILLING
ALL THE TREES
I often find myself jealous at Massey students
who get to study at the Wellington campus.
Having gone there for a block course I found
myself crammed into cosy little classrooms
that really made the class bond together, as we
were all touching at the time. During lunch you
get to hang out with High School kids from the
high school plonked right in the middle of the
campus, the best thing is these kids don’t even
wear a uniform so they all hang out at the café
looking grown up with pimply faces but that was
cool as well because you can be the ‘big man or
women’ (but women don’t usually call themselves
big women –why not? Its like ‘big man’ but for
girls ……….. ok I see maybe its not the best but we
need a term that has the same effect damn it!). So
as I was saying before being rudely interrupted
by my chain of thought, you can act like the Big
Man by buying them cigarettes from the dairy so
they all think you are the coolest person alive and
huddle around you basking in your glow, a great
ego boost for anyone really. The last piece of the
puzzle comes from the lack of nature, specifically
grass and trees. Grass is a weed in many cultures,
as are trees, Wellington has the right idea and
has more or less exterminated all grass. There is
a patch taking root outside the café but I assume
that will have some roundup put on it promptly.
In Palmy on the other hand the nature problem
is out of control. Everywhere on our sprawling
campus with there are acres of grassy areas,
native trees for students to sit on and around. It’s
really distracting as the native birds get in on the
act and start spewing obscenities at passerby and
interrupting exam and tutorials where its already
hard enough to hear the lecturer because of all
the space out classes have. Good job Welly
Nature Hater
16
COMPUTERS WANT US DEAD,
OR AT LEAST STRESSED
The abundance of technology is forever changing
the way that we express ourselves socially with
people. Years ago all that was needed from us to
keep in contact with people was to pick up the
landline and call them.
Now deemed as not the norm, this practice
has slowly died out to make way for texts and
Facebook messages. Constant availability,
constant contact to every person you know
socially, even some you don’t. Gripping ourselves
with a vice like grip, technology has made us
become utterly reliant on that constant social
feedback. What could possibly be worse than
sending a message on Facebook, seeing that
small but clear message, “message seen” yet there
is no reply. Blatant rejection, which would seem
absolutely rude if the same happened in person.
It used to be that technology was undertaken in
the same way a face to face conversation would be
had, no longer. The stress increase is logarithmic,
with constant pressure to always be saying ‘the
right thing’, why should we be surprised. Devices
constantly come out with a ‘ground breaking’
features, it is forgotten the first feature of the
phone. Not just to send audio from one place to
another, but to communicate. With prices on cell
phone calling at the cost they are now, there is
no excuse. Pick up your phone and call instead,
if they don’t pick up, leave a message or if you’re
feeling overloaded, turn that phone off! They can
always leave a message.
Liam Reilly
OPEN LETTER TO TUSSOCK CAFÉ
I am writing to bring light to a grave injustice that
has taken place at Tussock Café, well it isn’t really
a grave injustice just more of a nuisance, well its
not even really a nuisance more just me having
a rant because something I really liked to eat is
no longer there. And in reality I have no reason
to complain but sometimes complaints that have
no reason to exist are the best type of complaints
or not.
I want last semesters chicken burger back.
Yes this is a selfish complaint about something
I have no right to ask for but man, that chicken
burger is a beacon of hope in an otherwise over
blown burger market. It had everything, nice bun,
crispy chicken, peppers, good sauce and served
with fries at a competitive $11. The new burger,
the Cajun one, just isn’t cutting the mustard as
far as im concerned. It doesn’t scream quality
at me, maybe it’s because ya cheeped out on the
bun, maybe its because the peppers are gone. I
don’t know. I do know that I was very sad when
eating it, and happy when eating the other one.
Such was my disappointment I have no vowed
to never eat meat again, until I have tasted an
original chicken burger from Tussock again.
I’m starving BTW. Veges suck.
Rasta Rooster
SOMEONE’S DUMB POEM
“ Mawsa was an awesome bunch,
who often liked to go for lunch.
One day as they dined,
they all became blind,
‘cos VUWSA had poisoned their punch.”
“ I once took an ultimate risk
and joined in with ultimate disk.
Those ultimate nerds ,
flocked together in herds,
and barked orders at me in a lisp”
“Ben had a glorious fro,
with a bouncy and healthy sleek glow.
But the work pile proceeded,
and his hair line receded
till he looked like Don King with no mo.”
“Massey had numerous clubs
who sometimes would gather in pubs.
Til the barman heard moaning
and sweaty men’s groaning
and busted none other than Mubs”
“Pipi was an early arriver,
who was stealthy and quick as Mac Gyver.
One girl got quite lippy
And tried to end Pipi,
because of her toxic saliva”
“I once know a man called Matt Shand,
Who developed a swollen throat gland.
The doctors were puzzled
till they reached down his muzzle
and dislodged a frisbee with their hand”
“The boss of mawsa
took a porsha
on a cruise to Palmy,
He got a flat tyre,
the scene was quite dyer
and George had to summon the army”
“ Fringey had a little cam,
His skin was white as snow,
and every where that fringey went,
his Cam was sure to go.
It followed him to work one day,
This was against the rules,
It coaxed him into purchasing,
some emo cutting tools.
It made the campus cry and pray to see the fringe at school,
But little did the campus know,
Behind it was a fool.”
Jim Hobb
EVERY LETTER WINS!
All letters receive a prize
courtesy of MASSIVE Magazine.
This month it’s 250 Gram bag
of Peoples’ Coffee. Either come
to the mawsa office or email:
[email protected]
to collect your prize.
17
FEATURE
18
The debate as to whether same-sex marriage should become legal has been making regular headlines as the debate
heats up in Parliament. Yasmine Jellyman delves into the waters of marriage equality and gauges student opinion
on the controversial topic.
PRIDE AND GROOM
On May 14, Labour Party MP Louisa Wall said she would introduce a private member’s bill, the Marriage (Definition of Marriage)
Amendment Bill, allowing same-sex couples to marry. The bill was submitted to the members’ bill ballot on May 30. Green
Party MP Kevin Hague also submitted a same-sex marriage bill, the Marriage (Equality) Amendment Bill, to the ballot on June 24.
Both MPs said they would work together in support of whichever bill came up first.
P
n July 26, a ballot draw of five
members’ bills saw Wall’s bill drawn.
In its introductory form it modified
the definition of “marriage” in
Section 2 of the Marriage Act 1955 to be
inclusive of same sex marriage, and replace
Schedule 2 – the list of prohibited degrees of
marriage – with a new schedule using genderneutral terms.
Prime Minister John Key had said he would
support any same-sex marriage bill in its
first reading initially, but after the bill was
drawn he said he would support the bill
through all stages. Opposition to the bill came
from the Conservative Party, Family First,
and several religious groups. New Zealand
First said it would abstain, and that the legalisation of same-sex marriage should be put to
a referendum.
In 2004, a nz herald poll found that 40 per
cent of New Zealanders supported same-sex
marriages and 54 per cent were against. In
2011, a Research New Zealand poll found that
60 per cent were in favour and 34 per cent
against, with support at 79 per cent among
18 to 34-year-olds. In May this year, a One
News Colmar Brunton poll showed that 63 per
cent of New Zealanders supported same-sex
marriage, with 31 per cent against. The results
indicate a link between identifying with a
religious/spiritual group and opposing same
sex marriage.
As of August 28 this year, 64 MP’s had said
they would vote for the bill when only 61 were
needed for it to pass the first reading. Fifteen
MPs had said no, eight had abstained or
withdrawn from voting, 10 had said they were
undecided and the views of 24 were unknown.
Mr Hague said “the time had come” for gay
marriage in New Zealand. He said it was likely
the bill would have majority support at first
reading because Prime Minister John Key
had indicated he would support it in its early
stages. “I think John Key’s support is quite
important because within the National Party
caucus that is effectively the green light for
people who support the bill to be able to vote
for it.”
Prime Minister John Key said he would vote,
in a conscience vote, for the bill to allow
marriage equality for same-sex couples and
transgender people because it wouldn’t impact
on his relationship with his wife. He said he
was unlikely to change his mind over the
course of the debate.
“You go through all the merits of the argument
and look at what people put up; but my view
is that if two gay people want to get married I
can’t see why it would undermine my marriage
with Bronagh. There will be plenty of people
in our caucus who will be deeply opposed –
particularly the very religious ones, and I can
understand that.” He said the bill was likely to
reach select committee stage and he thought
there would be a lot of lobbying from both
sides of the debate.
Labour Party leader David Shearer said his
party would cast conscience votes. “We’ve
always gone for a conscience vote on these
issues – and that’s what the caucus decided it
wanted to do.”
He said he would support marriage equality.
“I think it’s the reality of our times. It effectively puts in place what’s already in existence.
All New Zealanders will have the opportunity
to have a say through the select committee
process, so I think it’s important that the bill
comes forward.”
+
OPPONENTS HAVE MOBILISED AGAINST THE
bill. Conservative Party leader Colin Craig said
he was planning a campaign on the advantages of heterosexual relationships and traditional family structures. “I am keen to be part
of a campaign to get out there on the issue.
It would look intelligently at the differences
between homosexual parenting and a mum
and a dad.”
Surrounding the issue is a religious debate.
Catholic Priest Father Merv Duffy argues a
change is wrong and dangerous, while Presbyterian minister Margaret Mayman says it is
equality that most New Zealanders, gay and
straight, want.
Father Duffy said: “I oppose the proposed
re-definition of marriage because it is wrong,
dangerous, expensive and unnecessary. It is
wrong because marriage is a historical and
cultural universal reflecting our nature. It is
unnecessary because the New Zealand Civil
Union Act has allowed almost all the legal
rights of marriage to same-sex couples.”
Rev Mayman said: “Marriage equality is no
threat to families or to people of faith. With
Civil Unions, New Zealand acknowledged
diverse families legally. Now is the time for
full social equality. It is not gay and lesbian
people who have been transforming marriage.
It is heterosexuals. It seems to me that it is
precisely because heterosexuals have changed
marriage from an economic arrangement to
a relationship of love and support, which gay
and lesbian people are seeking to join it. Love
is what matters. It is equality that the majority
of New Zealanders, gay and straight, want for
our nation”
I conducted a survey of Massey students and
also took to Facebook to find out people’s
views. Of those surveyed, 181 were for marriage
equality, 13 were against, 6 were undecided, 17
were unknown, and 68 abstained.
Jimmy Jansen, Mawsa’s Queer Executive
and second-year nursing student said: “This
argument does not merely address the topic
of marriage, it addresses equality as a human
right. If I, as a gay man, am to be denied a
marriage because my/our love is considered
second-rate to straight love, then by all means
exempt me from other social obligations like
paying taxes!”
Emma Ward, a second-year communications
student, said: “I see gay marriage as a legal
issue. At the moment a Civil Union is basically
the same as a civil marriage – except for the
name. If people want equality and legal rights,
they can basically get them already. If all they
want is the label of being married then they
should be entitled to that. The definition of
marriage is being re-defined. People getting
married without thinking through the consequences and getting married for the sake of
it is destroying the sanctity of marriage more
19
FEATURE
‘YOU GO THROUGH ALL THE MERITS OF THE ARGUMENT AND LOOK AT WHAT PEOPLE
PUT UP; BUT MY VIEW IS THAT IF TWO GAY PEOPLE WANT TO GET MARRIED I CAN’T
SEE WHY IT WOULD UNDERMINE MY MARRIAGE WITH BRONAGH.’ - JOHN KEY, PM.
than gay people (Kim Kardashian I’m looking
at you). As for the religious issue, God can
be the judge, not us. At the end of the day, it
doesn’t harm me, and it makes other people
happy, so I’m for it.”
Nicola Blucher, a second-year nursing student
said: “I’m for legalising gay marriage because,
really, whose business is it if two people in
love want to get married regardless of the fact
that they are of the same sex. Someone else’s
marriage shouldn’t affect you, it shouldn’t
lessen the sanctity of marriage, it is just two
people wanting to share their love together,
so why should it matter to you? Does denying
someone their rights make sense just because
a few people are uncomfortable with it? I can’t
imagine anyone standing by and just letting
things happen if they were suddenly told
that being attracted to the opposite sex was
unnatural and they were no longer allowed to
be married, so why is it okay for that to happen
to queers?”
Tory Regan said: “I’m for marriage equality
because it’s only fair that every New Zealander
should be free to marry the person they love,
regardless of their gender. But this isn’t just
about marriage, this is about human rights.
This is another step in the battle for equality
in New Zealand. When gay and lesbian people
are allowed to marry it will mean they are
closer to being equal with straight people, and
maybe once everyone has the same rights,
homophobia will disappear because straight
people will no longer see gay and lesbian
20
people as being different to them.”
Robyn Sorenson, a first-year animation
and digital video student at Natcoll said:
“Absolutely for marriage equality. Religion
should play no part whatsoever in the legal
system and marriage has become more than
just religious ceremony. Any ‘the Bible says
no’ crap is redundant in this day and age if it’s
just going to be forced on people with different
views. That’s not to say you can’t have your
beliefs and faiths, but keep it in your own
house under your own roof and out of politics.”
Kent Harris, a third-year sport exercise
student at Massey said: “I am against gay
marriage. I’m also Christian. My view of
marriage is a covenant with a man and a
woman made with God. I believe Christians
and the Church need to stand strong in what
our scripture teaches us, and to be the light
of righteousness in this world. We should not
endorse or encourage what is a sin in God’s
eyes. In saying that, there is no scripture to
suggest that homosexuality is the worst or
ultimate sin. In fact, it is never singled out as a
sin on its own, and is only used as an example
along with other sins. As Christians, we are
too often quick to judge and to point out the
wrong in others’ lives. Therefore it would
seem wrong for me to criticise and judge the
actions of someone wishing to enter into gay
marriage. While I find it contrary to the word
of God, I need to accept others’ right to their
own values, and I will not be one to engage
in protest or insult others for what they do.
Instead, I encourage all Christians to reach
out to this community, offering unconditional
love, without an agenda, and not judgment,
loving them as people in the way that God
loves them and loves us.”
Jesse Laughton said: “I’m undecided, more
towards the fact as to why there is such a
demand for the legalisation of it all as Civil
Union is a legitimate and binding agreement
between partners.
Marriage is something traditionally done
through some type of religion and most of
the time has something to do with church.
Now religions with a basis of church etc don’t
usually gel with homosexuality so why demand
to be a part of a group that tends to disagree
with your sexuality. I am pro-homosexuality,
I just don’t understand why there is a demand
for a legalisation on the issue.”
+
ON AUGUST 29, WALL’S BILL PASSED ITS FIRST
reading. Eighty MPs voted for the bill and 40
voted against it.
Wall said the calm and measured debate was
a sign New Zealand had matured in its views.
“This is the first hurdle in the transition
from this being a bill to an act.” She hopes
the support base for the bill will grow as it
progresses through the select committee. It
is unlikely it would be passed and signed into
law before the middle of next year. This is
because the select committee stage has been
allocated six months for consideration the bill,
and the nature of the bill means there could
be a large number of public submissions,
requiring the full six months to be used, or
even an extension being required.
COME SUPPORT YOUR TEAMS
MASSEY AG VS. LINCOLN SATURDAY 22 SEPTEMBER
11AM NETBALL MATCH
RECREATION CENTRE COURTS
MASSEY UNIVERSITY MANAWATU
2.30PM LA BROOKS TROPHY GAME
SPORT & RUGBY INSTITUTE
MASSEY UNIVERSITY MANAWATU
(Free sausage sizzle for duration of game
and cash bar available. NO BYO.)
Contact [email protected] for more info
MASSEY.AC.NZ
21
FEATURE
22
Lincoln University’s rugby team has redefined the definition of stupidity by travelling to Massey University in a lame
attempt to win the LA Brooks trophy – that we let them win last year because they cry too much and they’re lame
anyway. Danielle Ritchie looks at how great our team is compared to theirs.
SPRIGS SHARPENED FOR ANNUAL RUGBY MASSACRE
Ah, it’s that time of year again – when we pretend to be terrible at rugby so Lincoln can beat us, so they can feel extremely proud
of themselves when the real effort went into the aforementioned pretending by Massey’s incredibly gifted students.
P
n September 22, they will put on
another performance for their loyal
fans, the eighth consecutive year this
clash has taken place. Yes, history
suggests Lincoln’s superiority in this sport, a
victory to them occurring in five of the past
seven years, but anyone who knows anything
about rugby is fully aware that the score does
not always reflect the capability of a team.
Plus, it always rains when this game’s played,
so no one can fairly judge competence anyway.
Held this year at Massey’s Palmerston
North campus, the game will bring together
agriculture students from the two universities
for a major battle on the rugby field – and also
the netball courts – where they fight for the LA
Brooks trophy, the aesthetically unappealing
MOG shield, and 365 days of glory.
Massey’s rugby captain – lead actor, you
could say – Andrew “Rusty” Drysdale, has
been involved with the event for two years,
having played once at home at Massey and
once at Lincoln. He says the game is “hugely
competitive” but that the rare opportunity for
two different universities to meet in this kind
of fixture and also do some mingling in a social
context is what makes it such a great weekend.
The game is tied to a great deal of history and
tradition, so regardless of how weird it looks,
these guys are really keen to get that trophy
and shield this year.
The inclusion of netball in the past few years
has added to the competitiveness as well as
involving the girls a bit more.
Captain Rusty says it will hopefully bring in
more supporters and create a great build-up
for the match. Another one of Massey’s rugby
boys, Calvin Ball, says there are actually more
female agriculture students than males, and
their involvement via the netball is an excellent
way of making sure those students are well
represented. It gives the ladies an opportunity
to contribute to the smashing and pulverising
of those awful Southerners – something we’re
all excited to see.
The social aspect of the weekend is also of
great appeal to the students, giving them
an opportunity to interact with their likeminded, albeit athletically-inferior, South
Island counterparts. The Lincoln students
“know how to have a good time”, according to
Captain Rusty, and everyone likes a good postrugby yarn.
On the Friday night before the game, a debate
will be held in front of both universities’ rugby
and netball teams, which is referred to as a
‘Take the Mickey’ debate. This gives everyone
an opportunity to meet and bond before they
proceed with attempts to embarrass each other
on the paddock the next day. You are safe to
assume there’s Mickey-taking that occurs;
everyone knows sport is nothing without some
cheeky trash talk.
PREVIOUS FIXTURES
2005
26-12, Lincoln University*
2006
47- 0, Lincoln University
2007
19-11, Lincoln University
2008
10-20, Massey University**
2009
11-20, Massey University
2010
2011
*First game since 1966
**Massey’s first win since 1966
ON TOP OF THIS, THE WEEKEND SERVES AS A
sort of exchange. In 2011, when Massey YFC
students travelled to Lincoln, they were taken
on tours of local farms and food-processing
plants, says Ball. So, though the boys (and
girls) do relish the physical and competitive
nature of the game, the point is to spend
some time around students from a similar
background and with similar interests.
For those who are playing, Captain Rusty
has some advice. That is to try their best,
obviously, and to “enjoy the privilege of being
involved in such a unique fixture”. But also to
let themselves be motivated by the support
of the screaming fans. The one thing Massey
has that Lincoln doesn’t, besides a capable
team, is home advantage. I say ‘screaming’
fans, but mild yelling is more likely. Still, that
provides plenty of motivation. Even vague
cries. You see, that yelling and those cries will
be calling for supporters to rise up and make
our university proud. Calling for us to destroy
Lincoln, and bring Massey an entire year of
gloat-worthy glory. And those who go down to
the game to support our boys and girls should
make sure they’re actually yelling and crying
(not crying crying, that’s counterproductive)
because otherwise Captain Rusty’s advice will
have gone to waste, as will this paragraph.
My father often says a silent home supporter
at a rugby game is worse than an obnoxious
opposition supporter. Actually, he’s not that
articulate, but that’s the general gist.
So, when the weekend of September 22 rolls
around, I hope you all get out your war paint
and banners and support your team, because
there is no satisfaction greater than proving
the North Island’s superiority.
For the past seven years since the fixture was
reinstated, Lincoln have had more than their
share of victory, but this year they are going
down, and it is in your best interest to be
there to witness it. Massey’s greater ability
on the field, combined with their higher
IQs, will result in every tackle, ruck, maul,
lineout, scrum, line break, Sonny Bill-esque
offload, and glorious try, serving as an embarrassment to Lincoln as they struggle to make
their kickoff go 10 metres, or fail to win their
own ball from lineout, effectively clean out the
ball from a ruck, or even spend any time in
Massey’s 22. (You guys should learn this lingo
– it’ll help you fit in).
Supporters should remember: yelling and
(positive) crying is the way to motivate your
team and drive them to victory! Players should
remember: if you can tip it, you can catch it.
GO MASSEY
23
FEATURE
BOY RACER ACT - EXCESSIVE AND DISCRIMINATORY?
On the 21st of June 2012, New Zealand saw its first crushing of a boy racer car.
However, the question is whether the controversial law was the right punishment for
the crime or a target on teenagers in New Zealand. Harpreet Kaur reports.
h
ew Zealand’s first crushing of a boy
racer car which took place this year
under the “Boy Racer” Act law was
aimed to be a warning against street
racers. However, the law is perceived as being
discriminatory by some.
The Nissan Laurel was crushed on the morning
of June 21, 2012 at Lower Hutt under street
racing destruction laws, after its owner Daniel
Ronald Briant was found guilty of ‘sustained
loss of traction’, dangerous driving and driving
while suspended.
After the car was crushed it was auctioned
on TradeMe and sold to the Museum Of
Transport and Technology (MOTAT) for $818.
Proceeds were donated to Youthline.
The car will be displayed by the museum
with the aim of educating the public of the
importance of safe driving and to show the
technology used to crush the car.
Minister of Police Anne Tolley, who pushed
the button that crushed the car, says this
crushing process is carried out to protect the
communities by reducing noisy, dangerous
driving and anti-social behaviour that goes
along with illegal street racing.
The “Boy Racer” Act was introduced in 2008
by the then Police Minister Judith Collins
24
and was passed to tackle the issues of illegal
street racing and reduce the numbers in these
offences. According to this law, the offender’s
car is only crushed after offenders get three
strikes.
The Land Transport Amendment Act 2003
states that police officers can impound vehicles
with the discretionary powers they have.
“At the last count there were 116 offenders
on their second strike. Hopefully the first car
crushing will have made it clear to them that a
third strike won’t be tolerated,” said Minister
Tolley.
Minister Tolley feels that the museum is an
appropriate place for the car to be displayed
so that young people will be warned about the
effects of dangerous driving.
Alongside with that, Minister Tolley defends
herself for smiling in pictures while standing
on the crushed car by saying that it was
done to get media coverage to show that the
Government will not tolerate such behaviours.
She adds that this law is fair and is proving
very effective, with 800 fewer illegal street
racing offences since the law was introduced.
It also serves as a wakeup call for all the boy
racers.
However, some say that the crushing law is
not a suitable punishment for this crime. A
criminologist and sociology professor at the
University of Canterbury, Greg Newbold, feels
that this law is age discriminatory.
“The law itself is not discriminatory but the
way it is presented and the way it is being
carried out is. And that’s why it is for the boy
racer car. They are not going to crush the cars
of older people. They are only going to crush
the cars of boy racers who repeatedly offend.
All they are doing is aiming at young people,”
he said.
“It is just a way of stigmatising the young same
as the zer0-level tolerance law which came
in. There is pressure upon the Government
to lower the drink driving age but the adults
didn’t want that cause that means that we
would not be able to go drinking and then
drive. So instead they just made an zer0-level
tolerance for young people and everyone was
happy with that. This is because the young
people do not have a voice. It is the same in
this case.”
In Professor Newbold’s opinion, this law
should not have been used to punish Briant.
He states that “boy racing” is much safer
than what it was in the past. Today, cars are
equipped with safety features and drivers are
more responsible than they were before. But
no one has the right to destroy the things of
other people.
“And when you see that Anne Tolley standing
on top of a crushed car I think it is disgraceful.
That car would have been worth tens of
thousands of dollars. You confiscate the
car, you sell the car. You put the car up for
auction and give the money to charity. Give
the money to a group of children, give the
money to hospitals or something. You don’t
destroy things. I thought that was an absolute
disgrace.”
“Briant was penalised much worse than
anybody else just because he is young and
had a nice car. That’s why he got penalised
so heavily. We will never do that to an adult
offender. They have just made an example of a
young boy,” Professor Newbold adds.
With this law in place, there will be a harsher
punishment for offenders. Professor Newbold
feels that it is not fair that other offenders get a
lenient punishment compared to “boy racers”
who take pride in their cars.
“The law should apply equally to everybody.
If they are going to start crushing cars, they
should go on a massive campaign of crushing
everyone’s cars whoever is a repeat offender.
There shouldn’t be some strict rules on whose
cars get crushed and whose don’t. The actual
fact is that it is a total waste to destroy people’s
stuff like that. Now I think the law should be
reasonably applied and should apply in the
same way as everybody.”
“And I don’t think there is any place in the
world that allows destruction of other people’s
property.”
He adds that this law will be ineffective as it
will result in disrespect from the young people
towards the police and they will resent the
police.
“Boy racing is not a major issue. The laws are
fine without the “boy-racer” laws and it would
be effective if it is policed correctly, reasonable
and consistently. It is “not right to wreck
someone’s prized possessions.”
In addition, accounting and management
student, Neil Marriott feels that this law
breaches people’s rights to personal property.
The 20-year-old has followed the legislation
closely and says that any young person driving
a Japanese car is considered a boy racer.
A young person driving over the speed limit
in a Japanese car is more likely to be caught
compared to a businessman driving an
expensive car over the speed limit.
“This is purely based on police perception and
discretion.”
He adds that the law is unfair. A person may
be driving on a wet day and, due to sustained
loss of traction, the wheels may spin. After
three such instances his car may end up
getting crushed.
+
AFTER GETTING HIS THIRD STRIKE, BRIANT
tried to switch the ownership of his car
multiple times so that it would not have to
undergo the crushing process. The 19-yearold
faces a 21 month disqualification, is awaiting
a charge on his fourth offence, has had his car
crushed and was indirectly penalised as his car
was worth $9,000.
Compared to other crimes such as drink
driving and speeding in excess, Briant faced a
heavy penalty as well as losing his car.
Marriott said that instead of the crushing
punishment, Briant’s licence should have been
taken away from him for a longer period. As
soon as he gets back his licence, he can go and
buy another car.
Marriott adds that the crushing has invaded
Briant’s rights to his personal property when
the car was not the root cause of the problem.
“It is not fair for him to receive this double
punishment. The punishment has to fit the
crime and someone should not be punished
by arbitrary amounts at the discretion of
someone sitting in an office chair.”
Also, Marriott says that the museum is
providing the wrong message. The message
behind the display should be that one should
“become a competent driver and have high
regards for other road users and not to take
risks and commit any illegal acts.”
There should be driver training that focuses
on confidence and coordination to reduce
accident.
Marriott feels that there are other bigger
issues such as the drug market where time and
resources can be spent on enforcement.
“At the end of the day, generation Y is a
generation whose collaboration is achieved by
having them on your side. and communicating
well with young people, unlike previous generations who were more accustomed to being
unquestioned of authority,” he adds.
“Education, the right penalties and providing
ways to indulge their passion without putting
their innocents at risk should be sufficient for
those who commit illegal acts.”
25
FEATURE
LIVING BELOW THE LINE
Harriet Lowe looks at way of tackling poverty that is catching
imaginations in four countries.
i
t’s easy to be a cynic when it comes to
poverty eradication campaigns. It’s easy
to think it’s idealistic to believe we can
end global poverty. It’s easy to think that
as long as corrupt despots hold governance
there is little we can do.
On the flipside, it’s easy to feel guilty for how
we live and the opportunities and privileges
inherent to the lifestyles of the middle class
and above. Perhaps being cynical is easier than
feeling guilt. Guilt is an increasing complex
and common issue in our society. For many
of us, as long as we feel the pangs of guilt we
feel like better people. Guilt is a reminder of
our social conscious. Charity campaigns and
anti-poverty organisations keep our social
conscious in-check.
We are aware of so many problems facing our
society: extreme poverty, global warming,
deforestation, rising sea levels, the obesity
26
epidemic, the financial crisis, frictions between
the haves and the have-nots, frictions between
the United States and the rest of the world. We
are aware. We feel the pangs of guilt for what
we have and how we live.
Now we have to feel guilty because dropping
the shrapnel from our wallets into a street
appeal bucket and wearing a sticker on our
lapel is no longer enough. We have to participate, we have to discuss, motivate others, and
engage with the issue of global poverty.
Live Below the Line is a relatively new antipoverty challenge and it’s getting people
talking. Started in 2009 by the Global Poverty
Project (GPP), Live Below the Line aims to
change the way we think about poverty.
“We want to let people know some of the facts
about poverty, the good and the bad, without
the pity,” says Teri Anderson, an ambassador
for GPP.
Teri cites an example that extreme poverty
halved between 1980 and 2005 – from 52% of
the world’s population to 25%.
Participants in the Live Below the Line
challenge have $11.25 to spend on food for
five days while gaining sponsorship to their
choice of charity; Unicef, Tear Fund, Oxfam,
Volunteer Service Abroad, GPP, P3, Christian
World Service, World Vision.
There are rules. No free gifts or donated
food are allowed – monetary donations only.
Cupboard staples such as oil, flour, herbs,
salt and sugar can be used only if their cost
per gram is worked out and factored into the
daily budget. The same goes for home-grown
produce: the labour and production costs
must be calculated.
A household can pool their daily amount.
Rebecca Wood, a second-year nursing student,
will participate in the challenge with her five
flatmates. They will pool their money: $50 on
food and $1.25 each for “treats” for the five
days.
“We are doing it as a flat to support Unicef
while also being able to closer relate to how
the people who live in poverty feel every day,”
she says.
In the harsh world of those living in extreme
poverty, $2.25 must cover all daily expenses:
food, fuel, transport, healthcare and basic
sanitation. Most likely those workers receive
his or her daily income in coins when they
clock off. In New Zealand, Australia, the UK
and the US, the only four countries participating in the challenge, the daily amount is for
food only.
During the five days participants can text,
twitter, or get on to Facebook from their iphone
or smartphone; drive, take a taxi or a bus;
continue to pay rent, phone and electric bills;
watch TV; go to uni or to paid employment of
at least $13.50/hour. During the five days of
eating only $11.25 worth of food, they can buy
a $200 pair of leather shoes, should they feel
inclined.
But you wouldn’t do that, because the tendrils
of liberal guilt would be well and truly
wrapping themselves around you.
Will Watterson, the creative director of
the Live Below the Line project, says that
though guilt might stimulate a one-off transaction, long-term guilt can stifle progress and
paralyse action. As much as Live Below the
Line is about raising awareness of poverty, he
says, it is also about celebrating the progress
that has been made in eradicating poverty and
the potential there is to do more good.
He explains a basic philosophy of Live Below
the Line and the GPP as “every person in a
democracy realising they have an amazing
power to change the world around them”.
As with all charities, participants need to be
wary of how their money is used. Live Below
the Line is more flexible than other campaigns
because participants can choose a charity that
aligns with their beliefs and world view.
In 2011 the Global Poverty Project spent 83%
of funds raised on campaigns encouraging
awareness about poverty, says Teri Anderson.
The remaining 17% was spent on administration costs.
GPP is “building consciousness,” Watterson
says. They are not guilt tripping but getting
people excited.
This may seem wishy-washy, getting people
excited and engaged in the issue of global
poverty, but perhaps this is the best system
we have. There is no overnight solution and
handing over billions of dollars in aid will not
necessarily lift people out of poverty in the
long term. Campaigns and concerts don’t solve
poverty, says Watterson. What is needed is a
movement.
Jeffrey Sachs, an American economist and
advisor to Ban Ki-Moon, appears on several of
the videos on the Live Below the Line website.
On ending poverty, he says: “This has been
a dream of humanity for as long as human
beings have been dreaming, but now in our
time we can make these goals not only our
goals but our accomplishments.”
Watterson says guilt will not achieve anything
and it will not make us feel any better or more
important. What’s needed is compassion,
understanding, and education.
The Live Below the Line challenge is just a
taster of impoverished conditions, and rather
the cynic in me think this is a fault, perhaps
living below the line is the start of something
bigger.
27
FEATURE
28
Karl Urban has won awards both locally and internationally, taking on such roles as Dr Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy in
Star Trek and being considered as James Bond. Now he has taken on what is perhaps his greatest challenge, the
role of Judge Dredd in Dredd 3D, a big-screen version of the legendary 2000AD comic character. Paul Berrington
spoke to him about his inspiration for the role, the filmmaker’s efforts to “get the story right”, and the thrill of riding
the Lawmaster through the streets of Cape Town, South Africa.
KARL URBAN: JUDGE, JURY AND EXECUTIONER
“I began reading 2000AD over 15 years ago”, says Urban enthusiastically. “My first introduction to 2000AD came through a friend
who introduced me to Quality Comics, and I was instantly taken by the morality tales set under totalitarian control in a world where
judge is also jury and executioner”, first experiencing the British comic as a 16-year-old working in a Wellington pizza parlour.
h
is experience and enjoyment of
playing Dredd is easy to sense in
Urban. He speaks strongly when
asked about some of the risks
associated with the role, given that the
previous film adaption displeased fans and
critics alike.
“I was a long term fan of Dredd, so the only
pressure came from a personal need to get
Dredd right”, something that he sees as an
essential ingredient to his acting. “I believe
when approaching any role the main focus
must be on the character.”
Does this mean he believes it is important for
comic book adaptations to remain faithful to
original material?
“By and large, yet I think it depends on the
project”, though he admits that, “Dredd
contains a few contextual differences to the
comic book, yet remains faithful to the original
meaning the creators intended”.
It’s obvious how much this means to Urban,
including the fact that Dredd never removes
his helmet in the original comic. “For me it
was incredibly important to keep the helmet
on, and I wouldn’t have done the film if it had
been any other way.”
He believes that “one of the great aspects of
Dredd is that you never fully see his identity”,
yet doesn’t that go against the grain of lead
actors in general? He laughs at this. “With
Dredd, his identity is what he does and that
was important to me. There is a variety of this
style of heroes in film … in a way this Dredd is
a modernised version of Clint Eastwood’s Man
With No Name, combined with a little of the
dry black humor of the 80s Schwarzenegger
films”.
I don’t like to compare the two films”, he
says when asked how this version is more
successful than the previous Sylvester Stallone
starring misfire.
“That is not my job and this is a completely
new film and adaptation. All I can say is that
there was a focus on getting the story right”.
This is a theme that has been very important
to the filmmakers in general, with an emphasis
on bringing Dredd to life in a way that will
please fans of the original comic.
“Alex was a long-term fan as well”, Urban says
of Alex Garland, the screenwriter and novelist
behind The Beach, 28 Days Later, and
Sunshine. “When we hooked up in Cape Town
to discuss the script Alex saw that I’d crossed
out some of the dialogue and asked me why. I
said that Dredd says less.”
He says “there was a confidence in the collaborative process, with various drafts of the script
developed between screenwriter, director, and
lead actors. Garland had delivered an amazing
script, yet the fact that further developments
were done within a tightly focused group
allowed the story to be developed on the page.
I think this really shows in the film.”
+
OBVIOUSLY A LOT OF THOUGHT HAS GONE INTO
the portrayal of Dredd as a character, yet given
physical nature of the role, Urban says it is the
toughest character he’s had to prepare for.
“The preparation was the most intense I’ve
experienced in a film. There were 13 weeks of
two gym sessions a day, and I was also working
on promoting Red at the time. Perhaps the
hardest thing is the nutrition … having to eat
every 15 minutes becomes a real chore.”
The constructed world of mega city one, the
setting for Dredd, created an experience in
itself, and one of which Urban speaks enthusiastically. “The set design was fantastic.
The film’s narrative takes Dredd and rookie
Anderson to the Peach Tree tower block
where they become trapped and must fight to
survive. The Peach Tree sets were incredible
and there was no use of green screen, meaning
the construction of Dredd’s world was done
through set design exclusively”.
Not that it is easy work, as Urban confesses,
“making a film is like trench warfare, yet it
is a truly rewarding experience. This was an
extremely difficult shoot, and shooting in 3D
meant fewer shots and more of a need to get
things right. What helped was that Dredd is
truly collaborative experience”. In particular,
Urban found that Olivia Thirby (Juno, United
93) who plays rookie judge Anderson, a
pleasure to work with. “Working with the
incredibly talented Olivia Thirby was also an
inspiring experience”.
Also inspirational was the chance to work with
Academy Award-winning cinematographer,
Anthony Dod Mantle, whose talent Urban was
quick to promote. “Anthony is a real artistic
powerhouse whose final contribution cannot
be measured, and this means Dredd will
reward repeat viewings.”
When asked about how much he enjoyed
the role, Urban can barely contain his thrill.
“The opportunity to play someone you’re
not in reality is the best. It was a real thrill
to play a fearless character walking in the
face of danger. Perhaps the most enjoyable
moment of filming was riding the Lawmaster,
a fully functioning motorbike that in reality
didn’t turn corners particularly well, through
the streets of Cape Town during the day in
costume and mask. “Researching the role was
also satisfying as I got to read some of the
more recent Dredd stories, which were a bit
more questioning and dealt with the origins of
Mega City One in America.”
So it seems fans can expect much to enjoy in
Dredd that the previous adaptation couldn’t
deliver back in 1995.
“I think the evolution of cinema plays a role
in the creation of tone and content, and with
Dredd there are significant differences in the
mood due to the fact it was made today. Look
for more of a character-driven script”.
And a New Zealander who has more than
enough talent to handle it.
Dredd is realsed on the 10th of October, the
film is reviewed on page 60 of this issue.
29
WE ARE PROUD TO
SUPPORT THE 2012
AOTEAROA STUDENT PRESS
Where isAWARDS
the best place
to find a bargain in New Zealand? Op-Shops have been steadily popping up all over
ASSOCIATION
AND
and make great places for students on a budget to shop. But where are the best ones? Each month MASSIVE
WISH ALL
CONTENDERS THE
will send out two students from two different campuses to find a ‘new’ outfit for less than $25. This month
VERY BEST
OF LUCK
FOR
Rhiannon
Josland
and Catherine Irving take up the challenge
FRIDAY 28 SEPTEMBER.
OP-SHOP CHALLENGE
RHIANNON JOSLAND
Age: 20 Year: Three Degree: Graphic Design, Massey Wellington
You can’t put a price on freedom, but in
this instance, $25 to spend on clothing was
just the key I needed to unlock me from
the dungeons (Massey Wellington slang for
computer labs under the Museum building).
Money in hand, I ran for the hills and some
fresh air, winding up at Kilbirnie’s Opportunity for Animals.
The great thing about Kilbirnie is that for the
average op-shop goer, it’s a little too much
effort. If you want to walk there you have to
dress in sensible shoes, and that’s a fashion
faux par in itself. Luckily for me it meant no
changing room wait time and clear aisles. I
also didn’t feel the need to snake-eye any
potential item-snatchers.
As much as I am one for animal advocacy and
activist spirit, the best thing about Opportunity for Animals has got to be the free
bin. As a student, second hand clothing is
good, but free clothing is the pinnacle. From
this I found my shoes, gleaming up at me,
diamonds in the rough.
However now I was faced with tremendous
guilt of not having supported the animal
cause. I made my way to their sister store in
Newtown and brought a horse shirt for $4
to consolidate my animal affections. After
failing to find a cute clutch, I settled on a
crimped red headscarf accessory for $2.
Lastly it was round the corner to the old
Sallies in Newtown where I foraged through,
eventually finding my ¾ pants emblazoned
with zips for $7. An entire outfit for $13. I’m
quietly rather pleased with myself.
It’s true Wellington doesn’t have anything
that compares to Seekers, and you may
find a few extra scratches on your arm post
shopping, but nothing can beat the eclectic
array of clothing that Wellington op shops
seamlessly hoard. Now it’s time to make it up
to my sagging wardrobe rack…
Anyone who knows Wanganui may set on this skirt from the very beginning.
understand why I was apprehensive doing The material is a luscious mixture of velvet
this challenge in the holidays. Smelly and and chiffon, making it quite appropriate for
unfashionable clothes anyone? Don’t get me winter. I would probably team it with tights
wrong, I love the little city, with or without and get so much wear from it for such little
money – only $5, to be exact.
the ‘h’, but it isn’t exactly Cuba St.
Bracing myself and with my mum to my I then picked up a short knit jumper to match.
right, I was about to learn that an ‘op-shop’ At the counter I saw a box of socks. If you’re
was more than a band. My focus was to get a thinking this is kind of gross, so was I. At
winter outfit which I could wear to classes. It least you can wash socks, though so I decided
was good to have a focus but of course I was to get these instead of shoes to save my feet
from an unknown foot disease.
bound to stray.
First stop was St Vincent De Paul’s. First The final touches, courtesy of Hospice, are
thing I spotted? Free rack! Minds out of the these gold earrings and an outrageously ‘me’
gutter, people. Inside the shop, however, necklace. At home I added on a chain at the
was my first buy. It has nothing to do with back to give it some length.
my finished outfit but, hey, didn’t I tell you I was so impressed with how much I got for
I’d stray? A maroon shirt with chiffon sleeves only $20. Op shops you served me well and I
am so sorry for my past ignorance. I will visit
and a heavily detailed body for a mere $2.
MASSEY.AC.NZ/SUMMERSCHOOL
Next we went to The Salvation Army.
There you all again soon because I am a changed
woman.
I think even
my 739)
mum is!
was just so much to choose fromOR
but CALL
I was 0800
MASSEY
(627
IT’S SAFER TO BE AT
SUMMER SCHOOL
Get a head-start on Semester One 2013 by
taking up to 60 credits at Summer School.
Classes start 19 November 2012.
52
ENROL NOW!
In the lead up to the launch of the new Dredd film, MASSIVE Magazine got a few minutes of speak to 2000AD
Editor-in-Chief Matt Smith about the iconic British comic and the Judge.
l
2000AD: HOME OF THE JUDGE
t is pure science fiction. Pages flooded with impossible scenes of action, violence and sex wrapped in
narrative and coated with a twisted dark humour. Its content was both shocking and fantastic. Each
page carried a new curveball, a new alien landscape and new characters. Characters that oozed cool.
Swashbuckling rogues, genetically engineered super soldiers, broadsword wielding barbarians, time
travellers, mutants, aliens, killer robots and, of course, the ever-present symbol of law and order Judge
Dredd. This is 2000AD.
31
A selection of 2000AD covers from throughout hte years
FEATURE
‘THE VISORED FACE WAS BASED ON THE FRANKENSTEIN CHARACTER FROM THE DEATH RACE 2000 POSTER, AND
CO-CREATOR CARLOS EZOUERRA ADDED THE EAGLES ON THE UNIFORM AS SYMBOLS OF POWER AND FASCISM’
MASSIVE: How would you describe the ‘vibe’
of 2000AD. How has it evolved over the
years?
MATT SMITH: 2000 AD has always been
an action comic – it's full of fast-moving SF,
fantasy and horror thrills with an irreverent
and often satirical edge. Different editors
have different tastes, so they may prefer
some stories that are perhaps more comic or
whimsical. Around the early 90s, there was a
trend for more quirky strips. But mostly it's
been about anti-heroes, big guns and blazing
action.
M: Making a weekly comic strip must be
pretty challenging. Can you talk our readers
through the process in creating a comic book
strip for publication?
MS: It starts with a story pitch from a writer
usually. If that's OK'd, they go away and write
up the script. That's sent to me, I OK it, and
pass it on to an artist. They usually take 2-3
32
weeks to draw a five page story. Once I have
the art, it may need colouring, which takes
another week, and it's passed on to the letterer,
who takes a few days to add the balloons.
Once I have the lettered strip back, logos and
credit boxes are added, it's checked over, and
exported as a PDF. PDFs are uploaded to the
printers. All in all, scripting and art can take
a good couple of months before it sees publication.
M: Where did the original concept for Dredd
come from?
MS: John Wagner originally wrote a New
York cop series called One-Eyed Jack for
Valiant comic. When it came to coming up
with characters for 2000 AD, he developed
this further, so it became a no-nonsense cop
in the future, a futuristic Dirty Harry with the
powers of summary justice. The visored face
was based on the Frankenstein character from
the Death Race 2000 poster, and co-creator
Carlos Ezquerra added the eagles on the
uniform as symbols of power and fascism. The
name came from an amalgamation of a supernatural character that Pat Mills was creating
but was never used, called Judge Dread.
M: Dredd is a complicated character to
understand in just one strip or film. How
would you describe Dredd to our readers who
may not have heard of him before?
MS: He's a zero-tolerance cop in the anarchic
metropolis of Mega-City One. With the powers
of judge, jury and executioner, he is the
personification of the Law – the Judges are
all that stands between a city boiling over into
chaos.
M: What is it about Dredd that has allowed
him to remain popular over 35 years?
MS: The writing and the art, for one thing –
it's always had a very high standard on both.
But it's an exciting world too, and he's an easy
character to pick up and understand where
‘THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME FAITHFULNESS TO THE CHARACTER. WE NEVER SEE DREDD’S FACE IN THE COMIC, SO WHY
SHOW IT IN THE FILM?’
he's coming from.
M: Dredd has become a symbol in his own
right. How often do comic book characters
transcend their print forms like Dredd?
MS: Very rarely. It shows how well designed
he is that he can be embraced in so many
different mediums.
M: The new Dredd movie is about to be
released How closely did 2000AD work with
the movie creators and actors in build up to
this film?
MS: 2000 AD itself had very little contact with
the filmmakers when they were working on it
– it's its own entity, they were creating their
own variation on the world, with a few nods
to the strips. But John Wagner had input on
the script.
M:How important is it for film adaptations
of characters to maintain his comic-book
identity, eg: leaving the helmet on?
MS: I think there needs to be some faithfulness
to the character. We never see Dredd's face in
the comic, so why show it in the film?
M: What other 2000AD characters can we
expect to see in the film?
MS: Psi-Judge Cassandra Anderson is Dredd's
rookie in the film. Other than that, it's entirely
new characters created for the movie.
M: Given that the success of Watchman,
and Dark Knight do you feel that Hollywood
is now producing comic-book films that are
true to their source material?
MS: It depends on the property and who’s
making it. There are still plenty of failures
amongst the successes like The Dark Knight.
But the filmmakers have probably realised
how powerful a force the fanbase can be, and
adaptations can live or die depending on the
reaction at somewhere like San Diego Comic
Con.
M: What other 2000AD characters can we
expect to see get movies in the future?
MS: No others are locked in to be filmed at
the moment, but Button Man, which was
published in 2000 AD, is inching closer, with
Drive's director attached.
M: There is a new 2000AD app. How are
apps changing the comic market place?
MS: Digital comics are completely changing
the distribution of titles, and now anyone
in the world with an iPhone/iPad can get an
issue of 2000 AD the same day it’s released.
It cuts down cost and time enormously, and
it’s a great way to reach a new audience.
You can download the free app from Apple
Newsstand, as well as a free 69-page sampler.
If you take out a subscription you can get
back issues free too. Those with an Androidenabled device can get digital issues from
shop.2000ADonline.com
Read the full interview online at:
Massivemagazine.org.nz
33
FEATURE
PATH TO COMIC-BOOK FAME NO LAUGHING MATTER
But, as Sanjay Parbhu and Hamish McNicol discovers getting started can be easier
that you think.
b
he suggestion of a New Zealand
comic book industry would be foreign
to most of us, but for those budding
fans hoping to create the next global
superhero, getting started is perhaps easier
than you would think.
Love to doodle during your lectures? Have
fun creating moustachioed masterpieces on
pictures in MASSIVE? You may even be a
talented illustrator with an eye for drawing
characters flexing their muscles in a manner
not too distinct from Sonny Bill Williams.
34
Perhaps you are a sucker for a good story
with an incredibly creative mind. In any case,
creating your own comic book is as easy as
simply sharpening your pencil and having a
crack.
MASSIVE spoke to three New Zealanders
who had created their own comics, their own
way. Adrian Kinnaird, Li Chen, and Richard
Fairgray all had roughly the same model for
getting started in the industry, and as long
as you are passionate then you can make it
work. That said, there will inevitably be some
stresses, scrawled-out drawings, tears, and
erasers used along the way to comic book
fame.
Li Chen is the creative genius behind the
Extra Ordinary online comic series. The idea
for Extra Ordinary was conceived in her final
year at university in 2008, and was based
largely from conversations, observations, and
doodles from her sketchbook.
It seemed fitting to ask her how does one
get started into creating comics? Her advice
mirrored a popular shoe company’s slogan:
“Just do it! Really, it is that simple. You don't
need any fancy equipment to start either – you
literally only need a pen and some paper. The
only way to get good at something is to work
really hard at it, and to learn from others.”
Artwork by (starting from left to right and moving clockwise): Tank Girl reimagining: Ant Sang, Extra Ordinary: Li Chen, Scene from Born to Fly: Andrew Burdan, Red
Bull: Ant Sang, Scene from Shaolin, Cover art for Ngarimu: Andrew Burdan, Blastosaurus cover: Terry Fairgray, scene from Shaolin Burning: Ant Sang
This sentiment is mirrored by freelance illustrator Adrian Kinnaird. When talking about
comics, Kinnaird is a fountain of knowledge.
His blog “From Earth’s End” contains anything
and everything relating to comics in New
Zealand. He has also worked on a variety of
New Zealand comic books and is a prominent
blogger on the comic book industry. He also
has a graphic novel about to be released.
Kinnaird gives the impression that comic
books are far from a bit of fun, but really an
entirely unique and vitally important art form.
“It’s pretty easy to get started: write, draw,
print, and you are officially a cartoonist! That
probably sounds overly simplistic, but those
really are the fundamentals.”
Chen and Kinnaird also speak a lot on
the subject of persistence. It is easy to get
discouraged, and many future comic book
greats have probably ended up in the wastepaper bin or torn to shreds. Chen adds: “I
think a lot of people get discouraged early on if
they think their stories aren't good enough, or
that their art is shit. If you don't persist, you'll
never get any better.”
She would like to draw on key mantra of
hers for budding comic artists out there –
“persistence”.
That may well be good advice starting off, but
what about and actual idea? Where can the
inspiration fountain be tapped and turned
on and off at will? Each artist will have their
own source of inspiration. For Chen, funnily
enough, it flows from her everyday interac-
tions. “My boyfriend and I always have funny
conversations, so we thought it would be
cool to turn some of them into comics. Extra
Ordinary is a sort of surreal reflection of our
lives.”
Richard Fairgray has a somewhat different
approach. He is responsible for one of New
Zealand’s more successful comics, Blastosaurus. This follows the adventures of Blastosaurus (not to be confused with Blastoise)
who is a mutated dinosaur keeping the streets
of Freak Out City safe as a working policeman.
In 2010 the comic book was released to
American audiences at the San Diego Comic
Convention. Although originally working on
the comic alone, Fairgray has introduced a
co-writer, Terry Jones.
35
FEATURE
Fairgray says Blastosaurus was originally inspired as a parody of 90s cartoons
Gunasaurus. “He just appeared as an advertisement for a new Saturday morning show in
one of my previous graphic novels, Wilhelm
Scream. It wasn't until a few years later that
I thought to use the character for something
more.”
“While he still retains a certain level of parody
he's now a far more realistic take on that
silly genre. Blastosaurus is a mutant, crimefighting dinosaur with a ray gun from the
Sang's Shaolin Burning (Harper Collins),
there are no major publishers for comic books.
Kinnaird paints a somewhat double-edged
comic community in New Zealand. “In fact,
the New Zealand comics industry is unique in
that it is almost entirely self-published. Unlike
the US or UK comic markets which have had
large publishing houses with solid distribution since the early 1930s, New Zealand
stopped printing comics in the late 1950s due
to censorship concerns and regulation issues,
and that was the end of local mass-production.
‘WE BRAINSTORM IDEAS AND PITCH PLOT OUTLINES TO EACH OTHER, WE WRITE
DIALOGUE, WE REWRITE DIALOGUE WITH DESCRIPTIONS OF ACTION, WE FORMALISE
THAT INTO A SCRIPT, WE REWRITE THE SCRIPT WITH PAGE LAYOUTS, AND THEN I GO
AWAY AND DRAW THE WHOLE THING AS A COMIC.’ – RICHARD FAIRGRAY
future, but in a fairly realistic world that isn't
really an advantage. He can't go undercover,
he can't fit comfortably in a police car, and no
one ever showed him how to use the gun.”
Fairgray says the process behind creating
Blastosaurus required collective patience and
brainstorming. “Terry and I write together –
we quite literally sit in a room together and
write the whole thing as a duo. We brainstorm
ideas and pitch plot outlines to each other, we
bullet point out storylines, we write dialogue,
we rewrite dialogue with descriptions of
action, we formalise that into a script, we
rewrite the script with page layouts, and then I
go away and draw the whole thing as a comic.”
This type of back and forth can be really useful
for collaborating ideas very quickly. “It's rare
that either of us can pinpoint any single part of
a story that one or the other has come up with
because it all just happens in this bizarre backand-forth process. I get freaked out when we
speak in unison – as does he”
+
SO IT ALL STARTS WITH A THOUGHT, SOME
spark of creativity that must be captured.
From there it evolves into a “on the side
thing”. Soon it develops into a serious project
where you give it your all. If you have a pencil,
paper, and ideas then you’re all set, and selfmotivation is a must if you want your work to
be known, and when it does it will all pay off in
more ways than one.
And what about the pay off? Comic book
writers all agree comic books are easily doable,
but how many are successful? The reality is
that after you’ve spent hours drafting, inking,
tearing up pages, re-inking, and adding the
title and possibly a little FIN box you are
still only halfway there. How does one get
published in New Zealand?
Publishing your comic in New Zealand can
be seen as a problem. Though some are
published by major companies such as Ant
36
“Without wide distribution, New Zealand
cartoonists really had to publish their own
work to see it in print.”
It’s not all bad. Because locally produced
comics have had to exist at the edges of the
nation’s cultural community for decades, the
isolation this brings has bred a remarkable
variety and quality of comic unmatched in
other parts of the world.
“I think what sets New Zealand comics apart
is its sheer depth of variety, in both genres and
styles,” Kinnaird says. “One of the unexpected
bonuses of not having an entrenched
publishing industry is local comics haven't
had to follow dictated sales trends the way
the US and UK have fixated on superheroes
and humour respectively. Creators have had
the chance to follow their own creative path,
resulting in extraordinarily individual styles
like that of Barry Linton or Roger Langridge.
“While it hasn't been a financially rewarding
journey for many local cartoonists so far, the
new opportunities offered by graphic novels
and the internet means they will soon be
finding a global audience for the first time.
And New Zealand can re-discover one of its
own best-kept secrets.”
Publishers will be looking to see if a comic is
marketable first. But to get noticed your work
will need to be original and of high quality. “If
your work is of a high standard in story and
art, people will take notice. Also, tell a story
readers can relate to. Publishing isn't cheap,
so your comic needs to reach the widest
audience possible for a publisher to think
about investing in it.”
Publishing firms are not the only way to get
noticed, however, and plenty of Kiwi comic
artists have said “stuff that” to publishers and
gone it alone.
You could always come up with the money
yourself and try talking to your mate who
works at a Warehouse Stationery copy centre,
but sometimes you have to rely on others to
fund your projects and this was the main
concept behind the website Kickstarter. This
site offers people the opportunity to give a
certain amount of money to develop a wide
variety of products and causes, and with
this knowledge at hand, Li Chen was able to
create the fourth most successful project on
Kickstarter.
She says: “I had wanted to publish my comics
as books for quite a while but I didn't have the
time or money to do it. Kickstarter gave me
the opportunity to raise the funds to make the
books and allowed me to take the time to make
them the best that they could be. I'm sure that
eventually I would have found another way to
fund my books but I'm really happy that the
Kickstarter project was so successful.”
Once your comic is finally printed, the question
remains: how do you get people to look at it?
The use of the internet can really play to your
advantage, by using sites such as DeviantART
and Tumblr to post your character stills and
backgrounds. As well as the web, attending
conventions such as Armageddon and Zinefest
can guarantee word of mouth, allowing you to
engage in your targeted audience.
Self-promotion was also the technique that
helped bring Blastosaurus into the public’s
eye and, according to Richard Fairgray, is the
most effective:
+
“WE NEVER TOOK BLASTOSAURUS TO ANYONE.
We were approached by a company called
American Original when they were first
starting out. They eventually got a comic
imprint through Top Cow. I'm not sure if they
exist any more as a comic company ... that's
sort of complicated. We have other projects
that we are seeking a publisher for, but I'm not
really willing to let go of Blastosaurus again
since last time we ended up with nothing being
released for so long. As for promotion, it was
all done through convention appearances. I
appear at Armageddon and Supanova conventions throughout New Zealand and Australia
and LFCC in London. We promote through
a Facebook page (on a very minor level) and
have a severely under-used twitter account.
Most of Blastosaurus' success has been
through word of mouth.”
So there it is, a rundown of the somewhat
murky, yet fun rapid waters of the New
Zealand comic-book industry.
If you want to create a comic then pick up the
pencil and get started, but be prepared to burn
the midnight oil. Just remember, creating the
book is only half the job, as Richard Fairgray
knows all too well. “I've worked with people in
the past who view the printed book as the end
result but I think you're not done until people
are reading the book, and in a country this
small and in an industry with so many choices
you have to take responsibility for getting your
book seen.”
Join us for
Enrol now
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or get a head start on your studies, enrol now for
November – December, or January – February Summer School.
Learn more
www.lincoln.ac.nz/SummerSchool | 0800 10 60 10
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New Zealand’s specialist land-based university
35
FEATURE
Fresh from his recent success at the Oscars, star Bret McKenzie spoke to Paul Berrington about working with the
Sarkies brothers in their latest movie Two Little Boys, his not-so-dramatic rise to success, and how it feels to have
such an important title.
SUCCESS, TITLES, AND NEGOTIATIONS WITH KERMIT
V
film about two bogans from Invercargill whose world is turned upside
down by the accidental killing of
Norwegian tourist may not seem
like comedy gold, but in the hands of Duncan
Sarkies, and starring Bret McKenzie and Andy
Blake, Two Little Boys takes that premise and
delivers a bellyfull of laughs.
The film premiered at the Berlin Film Festival
earlier this year and received positive reviews
from many critics, the Hollywood Reporter
cited the film as “one to watch out for” at the
famous cinema market place.
Given the closeness of the New Zealand
comedy community it comes as no surprise
that McKenzie had worked with the Sarkies
brothers before Two Little Boys.
“Yeah, I’d worked with Duncan before at
uni. We were part of a group at Vic Uni that
included Jermaine and Taika, and had worked
on a play he had written called Bodyplay. In
the show we wore flesh-coloured suits which
allowed us to appear nude on stage and
featured such props as detachable penises.”
“I also helped Duncan develop some of his
short stories for a national tour. I feel like I’ve
worked with him a lot as part of the Welly
community. Robert came into the scene a little
later, yet I have worked with them both when
they were developing the Scarfies script.”
In Two Little Boys, McKenzie is Nige, a
uniquely Kiwi character. “Well I thought
the script was hilarious, and dark, and very
different from the other scripts I was being
offered at the time, which were mostly Rom
Com’s that I was not excited by at all. I read the
script at a time when I was touring America
and thought it was a perfect contrast to that
style of comedy.”
Duncan Sarkies has described his characters
as representing the ‘great southern bogan’,
something many New Zealanders can relate
to, but something which McKenzie confesses
he’s never been. “No, not a bogan, I grew up
playing jazz and doing theatre, about as far
away from a bogan as you can be.”
Yet he was enthusiastic about the experience.
“It was fun being exposed to a really different
culture. I remember the stunt driver took me
out to teach me handbrake turns in the Mazda
323. We found a quiet street in Invercargill,
which wasn’t hard, and got to work.
“Working with Hamish was hilarious”,
McKenzie says of co-star Blake. “We hadn’t
worked together before so it was all new
38
and fresh. To be honest I wasn’t particularly
familiar with Hamish and Andy, so it was
exciting and a lot of laughs because we were
both from comedy duos. Hamish made a great
joke about how we were having an affair with
another comedy duo.”
Two Little Boys balances slapstick comedy
against something far blacker and satirical,
pushing the genre into something more interesting. “I hope the film engages the audience.
I think it succeeds in this way by existing in its
own world and this helps the viewer to engage
with the story and characters. I think too many
comedies are often built upon sketches and
ignore narrative.”
McKenzie is now in such high demand that he
must balance his time between the glamour
of Hollywood and laidback nature of New
Zealand. “First of all, making films is relatively
new thing for me. Yet I am excited by it and
find it really interesting. I think film is a great
format to explore so I am keen to do more.
Besides that, though, I would say I balance my
time between NZ and the US by half and half.
It is important to me to find that balance, and
I will always share my time between the two.”
+
AS FOR OTHER NEW ZEALAND COMEDIANS
looking to follow in his footsteps, “you need
to develop your material in front of audiences,
which can be hard in New Zealand. Testing
your material on a range of audiences is really
important. “Besides that, you need a lot of
stars to align, an element of luck. Having done
Flight of the Conchords has really opened the
door for me.”
He sees it as essential that locals push
themselves outside their comfort zone. “First
of all, go overseas. New Zealand is a great
place to develop material, it is small and
manageable, and you get an honest response.
You’re away from the spotlight and you can
make mistakes, which helps you to improve
your routine before taking it overseas.
“You have to be really into it. Early on, touring
with Jermaine was hard. I remember at our
first international show at the Canadian Fringe
Festival, where we were billeted. There was
one person in the audience. But that gives you
a thicker skin”, he says, debunking the myth of
his dramatic rise to success.
“We were playing the same songs then as today
where we might get 10,000 people at a show.
Another time in Edinburgh we had to crash at
a friend’s apartment. Jermaine had to sleep in
a cupboard, and to makes matters worse, there
was a wasp infestation.
“When we first went to Los Angeles we were
told it was a car city but neither of us had a car.
It was a four-hour walk to the shop and back,
sometimes without any footpaths. One time
we were walking home and somebody yelled to
us, ‘get a car’. At the time these sorts of things
can be depressing, but in reflection they make
great material.”
After achieving so much over the past couple of
years, it might be difficult for some to remain
inspired, but McKenzie is still hungry to use
that success. “I guess I’ve ticked a lot of the
boxes really. I’d like to try to make stuff in New
Zealand using my experience and the contacts
I’ve made. I am really hoping to bring a big
project here, with some big names involved”.
So, given this stance and his ability as actor,
musician, and comedian, it is interesting
that he is most comfortable as a musician. “I
grew up playing in bands and touring, so it
is natural to me. Yet as I’ve got more roles I
started to really enjoy acting as well.”
And how has he avoided this success going to
his head? “Partly by coming back and forth
from New Zealand and the USA. LA is strange
– the longer you’re there the weirder you
become. The whole place is industry-obsessed
and is all about becoming a star.”
An example of this was his recent return to
New Zealand for Red Nose Day. “I loved it and
we had a real blast, the kids were amazing.
We interviewed kids from inner-city schools
in Wellington and Auckland. Some kids
were really shy and others incredibly open
and funny. The whole experience was a real
honour.”
He was also honoured by his recent addition
to the New Zealand Order of Merit. “I was
actually really proud to be considered. I am
scheduled to have lunch at Government House
with the Governor-General, which I think is
really cool and a privilege.”
Rumours of a Flight of the Conchords film
are unfortunately just that, with McKenzie
confirming there is nothing set in stone.
“Well, we have been throwing around ideas
about the possibility of a film, but there has
been nothing definite.” It seems he is due for
some down time. “I am personally taking a
bit of break at the moment … and I’m also in
negotiation with Kermit.”
39
FEATURE
Georgia Todd takes us through life at the bottom of the bottle into a world of alcohol, drugs and addiction and her
attempts to break free of addiction..
FISH OUT OF WATER
Chairs were laid out and the brochures displayed on the table. The room began to warm up as I pulled down the dusty blinds. Taking a seat, I
glanced at the door then down to my watch. It was time to begin. I’m an Alcoholic.
B
lcohol had filled me before I was
born. Wrapped in my gene pool was
a penchant for losing control and
excessive consumption. Through
a grandmother who hid bottles of this and
that all over the family farm, to a father who
eventually learnt that sobriety could be his
only way of life ... it took his eldest to follow
down that twisted lane of alcoholism and rock
bottoms before finding her way to the same
serenity.
It sure as hell wasn’t easy, and to feel the peace
that sobriety has brought me at such a young
age is truly a miracle. I could have hidden
behind my cohorts – the girls in stilettos
drinking bubbles on Ladies’ Night, or the guys
I knew who started their bar shifts with shots
of Jager, as well as their mornings. I knew
40
where I would end up if I did that. It was a
place I would rather never visit if it meant a
lifetime of what I was already living in, pure
anxiety, fear and addiction.
+
IT ALL BEGAN INNOCENTLY ENOUGH. ONE OF
my earliest memories is that of tippling over
in my nana’s high heels, about nine or 10
years old, with a glass of red sherry in a mini
champagne flute. I remember the giddiness,
the feeling of being on a theme park ride. I
enjoyed the loss of control and being left with
just a floating warm feeling.
It didn’t take many years until I was left with
more than just a nice feeling, and at around
age 13 I first tasted disaster and shame from
my drinking. It was at a funeral, after an older
friend snuck me glasses of this and that. I
woke up feeling feverish and unnerved in my
baby brother’s cot with the grainy memories
of feeling disconnected as disapproving faces
glared at me. People around the town gossiped
about it, I felt guilty everywhere I went, and
the local gym teacher told my brother I should
be ashamed of myself. I was, but in the years
to come, that shame would be eased over with
more alcohol, like fuel to fire.
Later I learnt this type of behaviour leads
to your emotional development becoming
stunted. Makes sense. Each time I felt any
strong emotion, it would be glazed over with
alcohol and pot ... time and time again I dealt
with things in this way, my friends dealt with
things in this way – but with fewer consellustrations by Jacob Sparrow
quences – and I refused to learn valuable
lessons.
Teenage years were undeniably hard, and at 17
I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression
following the identifying symptoms such as
spending weeks in bed, not eating, hardly
sleeping, paranoia when it came to relationships, and finally a general physical sickness
which manifested in a nasty kidney infection
– my body’s way of warning me of what was to
come if I carried on in my wicked ways.
At this stage I was drinking as much as any
other fresh-out-of-home teen, but again the
consequences meant neglect of my overall
health. I refused medication, moved cities,
and picked up the bottle with more relish than
ever before. I turned 18 and the sun stopped
being my friend. In the depths of the South
Island I lived like a vampire and became well
known at all the bars and clubs for bad reasons
rather than good.
Years passed in this way, life turned unmanageable, I was in and out of extreme moods,
partners walked away, friends abandoned
shipwrecked friendships, and family closed
their eyes. I ruined Christmases, birthdays,
graduations, and baby showers. Oh, and of
course funerals.
+
I HAD JUST TURNED 22 WHEN I RAN OUT OF
places to wreck in New Zealand and decided
to head across the ditch, where things took a
new turn for the worse and my drinking career
screamed to a halt.
I arrived on St Patrick’s Day – perfect. The
flat I moved into contained an assortment
of travellers and one local. There were a
couple of kiwis, an English couple, and an
Australian roof-layer in the final throes of drug
addiction. We didn’t realise he was up in his
room burning his brain with chemicals, but it
figured once we found out.
Meanwhile, we all whiled away the days and
nights with casks of cheap wine affectionately
called Goon. The most tossed-about phrase
was “Anyone up for some Goon?”
And why not. We were in Australia, land of
plenty. And shit, was there plenty all right.
Drugs, money, guns, bikie gangs, skyscrapers,
sun. It all turned into one big sick rollercoaster
ride, where normal life meant you couldn’t
function without some high-paced drama
filling in the week.
I finally landed a job worth taking seriously.
I was ‘high’ at the job interview, but still
impressed the women who hired. In a place
that bordered the beach, with enough clubs
per square metre to satisfy the throngs of
party animals coming through, Surfers
Paradise should have been called Alcohol and
Drug Paradise. The job was with a promotional company. It was summer year round, so
bikini babes were in hot demand to promote
anything worth promoting. It was $50 an
hour, with shifts rarely going for more than
five hours.
The interview was in a large glass building,
with a woman called Larissa, of Babe Promotions. I had never really considered myself a
Babe, but for $50 an hour I was sure it would
be worth the effort of getting a spray tan and
maybe a better haircut. The party lifestyle had
left my body trim, with a permanent smoker’s
cough, and slight spidery veins on my cheeks
which were easily covered with makeup.
I entered the reception floor and saw the large
sign ushering hopeful Babes into the interview
room. My God, a group interview, then. I
took my place in the seminar room, among
at the beach. “Wear your heels!” She called
mysteriously.
Was she kidding? I opted for strappy sandals
and casually knocked back half a bottle of
cheap bubbles for good measure before the
ride showed up. My flatties were jealous,
especially the guys, who, being the slack
Kiwi males they were, hadn’t really gotten
anywhere in the ‘pulling’ front since arriving.
Last I saw of them they were heading to the
Bottle-O for sacks of Goon. Typical, I tipsily
chuckled to myself as I finished the last of my
glass. I wasn’t as bad as them as long as I drank
alcohol that was priced a little higher, and why
not when I had just made a new friend and
secured a job all in the one day.
“DRUGS, MONEY, GUNS, BIKIE GANGS, SKYSCRAPERS, SUN. IT ALL TURNED INTO
ONE BIG SICK ROLLERCOASTER RIDE, WHERE NORMAL LIFE MEANT YOU COULDN’T
FUNCTION WITHOUT SOME HIGH-PACED DRAMA FILLING IN THE WEEK.”
a plethora of blondes in tiny shorts with
huge sunnies pushed up on their impossibly
immaculate plastic hair. I nervously tucked a
strand of real hair behind my ear, hoping I had
pulled off the rest of the look okay.
Larissa click clacked her way onto the small
platform stage. “Okay, ladies, thank-you for
all making it, and welcome to the best job of
your life!”
It was the socialising and alcohol that made
my eyes glimmer, as Larissa gushed how our
clients were looking for the kind of girls who
knew how to party, but could do so elegantly.
Hmmm ... we may have a problem there, I
mused inwardly. The gigs were simple enough.
Larissa had a number of strong contracts
around the city and all the Babes’ eyes lit up
at the mention of the casino and other various
well-known venues. We had poker nights to
run, car washes at burger bars, various alcohol
promos at clubs, and two huge annual surf
comps to host and promote, hence the recent
job hiring.
Ruby was the first and only girl there who paid
me any attention.
“Are you a natural brunette?” She asked
suspiciously, while twirling a blond curl of
extension properties.
“Yeah, I am and it’s real too – were you once
one of us?” I asked, thinking no parent would
name a blond baby Ruby.
“Yeah, but I haven’t had, like, my real hair
since I was 14!” She leaned in further to
whisper, “My actual hair is only about 10cms
long.”
“Oh,” I managed while trying not to imagine
her bald.
After we had signed our contracts and walked
out into the bright promising sunshine, Ruby
offered me a lift to my place. By the time
we got there, I was getting picked up by her
girlfriend’s sister’s cousin at 4pm for a BBQ
Little did I know that the party set I was about
to met, would hang me out to dry in the next
few months.
The ensuing theme park ride from hell caused
my rock bottom to hit sooner than what it
otherwise may have had I stayed in safe little
old New Zealand. The non-stop sickly mixture
of parties, drink, money, and drugs carouseled me round and round until I was flung off
into the darkness where my skin itched and I
couldn’t stand the silence. Nightclubs where
the bouncers ushered us in, bar tenders plied
us with free drinks, and rich old guys were
generous with their candy, all brought me
closer to the cold reality dawning on me that
I was fucked. The realisation tasted like cold
steel in my mouth. After a close brush with a
psych ward and softly spoken words from a
good doctor, I crept through the doors of my
first AA meeting and began to live “one day at
a time.”
+
THE WEEKEND HAD BEEN INFINITELY TOUGH.
Stretching on in windy blue days, the whole
two days felt like a week because I was doing
my usual, without the usual by my side. It
was indeed like trying to enjoy yourself in the
company of others after breaking up with your
one true love. My mind wandered around,
thoughts knocking together in my skull that
was empty without the aid of alcohol to fill
it. Nobody noticed, of course. Shots were
accidently offered to me, and then on purpose
– a type of inclusion that fuelled my anger
more then just being ignored. I really tried to
hold my head above the need to knock back
a few just for the hell of it. Just cause it was
Saturday.
After a dry Friday night where I had goodnaturedly joined my cousin and her friends at
41
FEATURE
a nearby pub (and wanting to leave the instant
I got there), I noticed in the sharp daylight that
the weekend wasn’t divided up into day-time
niceties and night-time drink-fuelled activities. It all rolled into one for those who could
drink with the rest of them. Everybody got up
well after lunch. Dregs from the night before
thrown back into dry mouths, eyes half closed
in the enjoyment of this game beginning all
over. Not for me, not for someone like me.
I’d done it all, and more besides. Many of those
morning drinking sessions were owned by me,
the party girl you can rely on. I’d put pumping,
punching, sing-aloud music on, happily clean
up with half-hearted bursts of energy as more
The weekend had then evaporated back into
the week, and I tried to fill my days with yoga
classes, meditation, and AA meetings. It was
supposed to be something like 90 meetings
in 90 days. Just managing a week was a total
miracle for me, but the mantra “one day at
a time” seemed to be working. The people
around me blended into everyday routine and
I didn’t feel so isolated as we cooked, watched
TV, and read in the balmy late afternoons.
Once or twice, the idea of going and buying
a cask of wine was tossed about, with me
snapping, “What on Earth would you want to
do that to yourself for?” and the others staying
quiet.
“THE MORE ANXIOUS I GOT, THE MORE I DRANK TO OUIET MY DISCOMFORT.
SOMETIMES THE WORLD FELT SO ACHINGLY SMALL, AND I SO INSIGNIFICANT AT THE
SAME TIME – AND SO I FELT UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN. ALCOHOL, DRUGS
AND PARTIES CURED ME BY DISTRACTION.”
alcohol kicked its way into my system and got
rid of any responsibilities I might have had.
To counteract reality dawning on all this, I’d
find the bong, some weed I’d hidden away
from everyone else, and I’d head down the
back, smoking up and getting high, loving
every long second in the pouring sunlight.
And we’d do something exciting and interesting that day, always fuelled by alcohol that
reached well into the night where eventually
I would collapse into some drama that would
eat at me for days afterwards.
I had survived the first weekend, but only
just the next. At two in the morning, with the
party in full swing downstairs, I had Googled
local backpackers, thinking that’ll show them,
next weekend, when I trot out the door with a
suitcase and they ask – Where you going? Ha.
But it didn’t help the current situation. Two
Xaniax later I was half asleep and getting
there, drifting into dreams where I would
chop a bottle of vodka, take my pants and
underwear off, and dance around then have
violent sex at my high school reunion.
I woke underneath a layer of cool sweat, music
faintly playing still as the tea-stained light of
early morning covered my room. Wandering
downstairs for water, or something, I saw
that everybody had managed to get upstairs
and bodies littered the lounge floor, pillows
and blankets scattered between, useless in the
heat. There were always half bottles of mixer,
so I took a few different kinds and headed
back upstairs. I took a swig of warm coke and
put on a meditation CD. I had been trying to
start each day with the CD since my decision.
After a good 15 minutes of failing to meditate I
wrote in my journal. This was also part of the
new me, but I found it was working marvellously – a friend who wasn’t interested in
drinking the days and nights away, something
I could rely on.
42
They lasted till Thursday and the next great
affair begun, a BBQ to celebrate the start of
summer. The boys got a small fire going in the
old clay stove outside, some friends turned up
with a bottle of tequila and limes, my stomach
curdled and I disappeared upstairs. I put on a
surf movie. I hadn’t ever really got the hang of
surfing but lately I had been renting more and
more surfing docos out. There was something
in the calm, sweet music and the experience of
being inside a tunnel in the wave, seeing it all
from their point of view. Tunnel vision.
I’ve had tunnel vision for the past five or
so years I guess. Seeing only the light at the
end of the tunnel getting fainter and further
away. It’s never reached while living a life
where everything else around you is ignored. I
began to realise this, but the realisation didn’t
make anything any easier. It was just there in
black and white. You are sick. And you have
been sick for a long time. Knowing this about
myself, it could be quite easy to look around
you and start noticing that everybody else may
have something wrong with them, too – that
it’s not just you, and this can bring at first
comfort and then madness. I can recognise the
dangers in this. It is a similar illness, becoming
obsessed about the other people around you. I
think to myself that they are on their own path,
the wind is in their sails and they will steer the
ship where they want it to go, whether it’s into
the path of a storm or towards land.
+
THE NEXT DAY WAS AN IMPORTANT ONE: A
date with my psychologist. We hadn’t really
gotten anywhere in the month I had been
seeing her. She was extremely busy and I saw
her every two weeks. Hence the fact we hadn’t
really gotten anywhere. I had just told her
my story,with all the gory details. She didn’t
even flinch – even when I described putting
my car through a neighbour’s garage, fleeing
the scene, and then waking at a friend’s house
with no recollection whatsoever. I didn’t get
caught, and I didn’t stop drinking, either.
I got up from a slow stupor – the result of a
drug-induced sleep. I was always aware of
how crap I felt after such a binge. No matter
what the drug, I always seemed to milk it for
all it’s worth. Alcohol being the easiest to get
hold of, I guess it was just a matter of natural
progression. I began to wonder if there was
such a thing as a psychological hangover from
alcohol, and if others suffered from the same.
The same anxiety, crawl into a hole and die,
impending doom. Seldom did people talk
about this affect, which alcohol seemed to hold
over me. The more anxious I got, the more I
drank to quiet my discomfort. Sometimes
the world felt so achingly small, and I so
insignificant at the same time – and so I felt
uncomfortable in my own skin. Alcohol, drugs
and parties cured me by distraction. When
drama unwrapped itself like a bad surprise
after a binge spell it would take my mind off
the creepy crawly feeling by getting me tied up
in the neurosis of life. The life of an alcoholic.
On these thoughts and others I mused, as
sobriety continued its hold. My determination
when it had been for the greater bad was to get
good at getting fucked up. Now my focus had
shifted and I went to two AA meetings a day.
I was even looking at helping set up a hospital
meeting at the local psych ward.
+
IT DRIFTED, TURNED, AND SPILT SUDDENLY
into six months without a drop. Sometimes I
would dream rich, intense dreams. Dreams
that would spill into reality, where I would
wake two or three times in yet another dream,
in a cold sweat thinking I had drank. Dreams
filled with parties, New Years Eve’s and Christmas’s, my birthday and I’m on a table top
dancing, swigging from a bottle of champagne.
I say to everyone – it’s all right! I’ve learnt my
lesson! And I actually – this is the scary part,
the nightmare indeed – believe that I have
learnt my lesson. That I can have a couple and
be alright. The thing is, I never am. And then I
wake up and in the weak light of the morning
sun pooling in, I think for a split second that I
have succumbed.
I still went out. I loved to hit the gig scene. Live
music became a fix. The music rolled off my
shoulders and rippled down my legs. I came
alive and relished in the sounds. Deep urban
bass, creamy vocals, and soul, baby, soul. It
was a high to hear that shit sober. I couldn’t
believe how numb being so drunk had made
me to certain events. The first fireworks I saw
sober since I was 12 blew me away. I shed
some tears as I shook with the booming explosions and crackles, became overwhelmed
llustrations by Jacob Sparrow
by the bursts of colours that super-imposed
themselves upon my eyelids when I crinkled
my eyes shut.
My decision to return to study was swift. I had
always thought I would go to university when
I had grown up a bit more. I had completed
one-and-a-half years of tertiary study, coming
out with a diploma in creative writing and
a certificate in television production. But
university had never been thoroughly entertained in my mind. Until now. I decided to
start a degree in psychology, begin to make
some sense of the world around me and the
world within me.
So life had taken on a new meaning. It seemed
appropriate to take a new avenue and do
something with this new-found freedom.
It was a sticky hot day, lightly dipped in sun
showers when I threw a garage sale/leaving
party with a “Blue Hawaii Elvis” theme, and
farewelled everyone from the past and present
who I had the pleasure of sharing so many
memories with, and sometimes the horror,
too. We did lines of Speed in the sunlight,
my friends drank wine and crashed out in the
upstairs lounge, while potential couch-buyers
rolled by, having to ignore the bodies lolling
around. I was leaving – for university back
in my homeland, New Zealand. The situation
was certainly intense.
+
A YEAR AFTER PUTTING DOWN THE BOTTLE,
I landed home. The rain was sideways in
Wellington, our glorious capital and, as usual,
I found myself in an unfamiliar freezing cold,
empty old colonial house of a distant relative
who was out of town. I thought I would die of
exposure, it was so freezing. I slept huddled
in the lounge, waking up scared shitless every
three hours or so.
The next day, some pale sun was trying to
shine, even though the wind was ripping
clouds across the sky at ridiculous speeds.
Clouds should not go that fast. It felt like bad
news. I had enrolment, and a week-and-ahalf till the university year begun. I had some
people I needed to see in Nelson, a place filled
with reminiscent bumps of alcohol and drugfuelled years of misspent glorious youth, being
19 forever. Yeah, there were a few people down
those ways I had to speak to. Step 9 of the AA
Big Book – it’s all about the amends. The
making of amends is a huge part of creating a
new life, carving out a new path. I had decided
to get through this intensely sickening process
before I began to study. I wasn’t prepared for
the depth of this thing, and had no idea of
what lay in front.
I had to go through memories of falling off
planes, climbing out of moving cars, crashing
out on various floors, falling asleep on the
sidewalk, and other such amusing treats to
sample down memory lane. It was a wake-up
call, but the support was overwhelmingly
supportive. I felt I had gotten off too easy. My
never-fail apology didn’t seem enough – that
I would continue to make right on my wrongs
43
FEATURE
by remaining sober. To me, that seemed like
the promise of a lifetime. To them, well, I
wondered if they thought they had heard it all
before.
Most difficult had to be the ex’s, especially
when the new girlfriend was there too. It was
extremely uncomfortable to expose oneself
in that situation. Of course, I couldn’t go into
much detail, so on that I felt – for a long time
– that I had gotten off too lightly.
+
UNIVERSITY BEGAN. I RELISHED IN THE HUGE
halls with whispers floating along their booklined walls, hushed feet sliding on worn carpet
imprinted with thousands of eager young
students’ soles heading towards their future.
This place to me felt sacred, a gift I was being
given in the aftermath of an alcohol-fuelled
chaotic life. Here was order. Timetables to
adhere to. I could do timetables, and I could
also make it on time.
Club Day was during the first week, and
I eagerly wondered around, looking for
something of interest to join. There were
vegetarian clubs, religions of every description
had stands, political parties held out petitions
44
to sign, the medieval club brandished swords
at passersby, colourful languages floated
through the courtyards ... but something
was missing … I suddenly realised I already
belonged to a club, one which now held high
importance of my entire welfare: AA\, or
Alcoholics Anonymous.
I looked around for some support. I asked the
president of the overall clubs. There wasn’t
a club for drug addicts, either. I wonder how
many of us sick bastards made it to university,
anyway. Certainly there must have been more
of us in recovery as students.
Once finding out that absolutely nothing
existed, I decided to do something more about
it. A sense of purpose tied in with my desire
and gave me fuel for the fire that day. For once
I was concentrating my energies on getting
good at being sober.
A university meeting sprung up. I spent one
hour a week in a dusty room, bone-dry heat
spilling from heaters, seeing if any other
alcoholics would show up. At first, nobody. I
had to spread the word. I wrote articles for the
student magazine, went to as many meetings
in the city as I could – standing up near the
end to announce a new meeting at the uni,
open to all. Old timers, as they’re known in AA,
came along and we sat together sharing about
the bad old times and the new bright ones.
Those people were so valuable to the action of
holding a meeting. They were thread that joins
together the fabric of that fellowship.
But this is not a story about my involvement
with Alcoholics Anonymous, although that
beautiful, wise and patient fellowship is
integral to my recovery from alcohol. It is a
story about addiction. It starts with the sharing
of my story, in a room offering some hope.
Without the space to express I may never have
spilled those horrors which kept me awake at
night, forever looking for ways to escape.
Sitting in a room with the curtains drawn,
the chairs all spread in a circle, I take a deep
breath. I let the peace of just one moment wash
over me. Gone is the need to be somewhere
else, bouncing from one shallow amusement
to the next. Gone is the uncertainty of what
will happen next. Nowhere is better than this
moment right here. The sound of humming
fills the air from the wall heaters keeping the
chilly air at bay, winter waiting just outside.
The door opens, lemon-filled light cuts a slice
on the carpet and a figure pauses hesitantly at
the threshold.
Would you like to share?
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FEATURE
INSIDE THE MIND OF AN OLYMPIC MEDALIST
Yvette Morrissey catches up with Olympic Games bronze medal cyclist
Simon van Velthooven
K
y first impression of Simon van
Velthooven when we meet in a
cosy café in Palmerston is ‘your
typical, Kiwi bloke.’ He sits next to
me, rather than on the opposite couch, and I
immediately feel at ease in his presence, as
though I am having a coffee with an old friend,
not interviewing someone who has won his
first Olympic medal at the mere age of 23.
He reaches inside his backpack and withdraws
a small black box and plops it in my hands.
Inside is something millions of people saw
on the telly but never got to hold: his bronze
medal. It is heavier than I expect, and the
lanyard looks well-worn, probably from big
nights out celebrating. He takes a photo of me
wearing it, before I reluctantly hand it back.
The barista who brings our coffees sees the
medal and his eyes widen. “Shot bro!” and gives
46
him a high five and asks if he can hold it. “Sure
mate, wear it around the café.” The barista
excitedly goes back to show his co-workers,
and they swarm around the medal.
“Aren’t you worried he might take off with it?”
I ask. “Nah”, he shrugs nonchalantly.
It is, after all, “the nation’s medal”, as van
Velthooven dubbed it.
Van Velthooven grew up between Feilding and
Palmerston North under a country influence.
Though his parents were raised on farms,
they both work in town. His father, Paul,
was a rower and a rugby player and represented New Zealand “once or twice” in both
disciplines. He is now Managing Director
for Morgans Property Advisors and a registered valuer, which is what Simon is studying
towards extramurally at Massey.
Like most kids, Simon started riding bikes and
competing in triathlons. It wasn’t until he got
to Palmerston North Boy’s High that he started
bike racing with classmate Jesse Sergent.
“We went to our first international race
together and made our first New Zealand team
together. High school got me into racing the
most.”
They went in different directions in their
cycling careers, Simon into sprint cycling and
Jesse competing overseas in the best team on
the pro tour.
Van Velthooven says their mentor, former
Commonwealth Games sprint cycling silver
medalist Mike McRedmond, got them to
where they are now. “He didn’t push us. He
believed in us and showed us professionalism
and hard training.”
He trains for roughly 20-30 hours a week but
says it’s a “24-four hour, seven days a week
job”.
“You have to get the right amount of sleep,
eat the right food, get enough sugar in your
system. It’s full on but it’s a lot of fun.”
With a career like this, it would be hard to have
a normal Kiwi social life. “I was very alcohol-
driven when I was younger, especially in
America”, he says. “Four days a week we were
hammered, but now I train so much harder
and it’s not worth it. I’d much rather be fit and
healthy than hungover on a Sunday morning.
I do envy everyone else – working, having lots
of money, getting on the piss every weekend
and going on holidays, but I’ve seen the world
10 times over and that makes up for everything I get jealous of.”
In the 2010 Commonwealth Games he won
bronze in the Keirin, and another at the 2012
world championships in the kilometre time
trial.
Nicknamed ‘Rhino’ by his cycling mates, he
believes the key to success is rationality. “You
have to be rational thinker in life. You have to
prioritise, set goals, and be rational. That’s the
secret to being successful, being an athlete,
and general life. You can’t spread yourself too
thin, or not be focused.”
It was this mindset that got van Velthooven to
London to compete at the Olympics.
His final in the men’s Keirin (a sprint in which
riders follow a motorised pacer until the final
600 metres) was once of the most nerveracking moments of the Games, and saw him
tie with Teun Mulder of the Netherlands for
bronze. Ties are virtually unheard of in cycling,
but because the rear wheel of silver medalist
Max Levy was between van Velthooven’s and
the Dutchman’s, they could not be separated.
“I raced to get that medal. I was nervous, but
I had no history on that line and didn’t know
what to expect. It was all in that last lunge”.
Van Velthooven idol, Sir Chris Hoy, of Great
Britain, won his sixth gold at the Games. They
managed to catch up in a nightclub in London,
which was a highlight for the young Kiwi.
“We had a yarn for an hour and a half. He’s a
living legend and so down to earth. He gave
me his email so I could contact him if I have
any questions.”
Though some may think the Olympic village is
an all-night party-zone, van Velthooven says
different. “Everyone says it’s a big party, but in
reality it was really tense. Everyone is there to
win their medals.”
However, after winning his, he was able to
have a few nights out on the beers, including a
Saturday night on the town in Palmy.
In his spare time, van Velthooven enjoys
tinkering with classic cars, drinking coffee,
and mowing down carrot cake.
He has two years’ part-time left in his Bachelor
of Applied Science with a major in valuation.
“It’s nice to be able to do some university work
[with training] because I can use my brain. It’s
good to be stimulated in that way.”
He says that one day he’d love to go rural
banking, but feels as though he has too much
knowledge to not give back to cycling. “I’ll
probably end up coaching one day.”
So what’s next? He’s heading to Japan, the
pinnacle of sprint cycling, before the World
Cup later this year. Next year he has the world
championships and, of course, he is aiming for
Rio in 2016.
When it’s time for van Velthooven to collect
his medal from the café staff, he happily poses
for photographs, shakes many hands, and
even gives out a few signatures.
“Did you get this much attention before the
Olympics?” I ask. “It’s not me,” he replies, “It’s
the medal.”
47
FEATURE
Kate Rodger, 3News’ Entertainment Reporter and Film3 reviewer, is one of the most recognisable names
in the New Zealand screen and journalism industry. She has been working at TV3 for almost 10 years, and
travels around the world to interview some of big names in Hollywood. Her charisma endears her to film
lovers, and she has become an authority on all things film. Logan Carr caught up with her over coffee to talk
about her career, the Kiwi film industry, and the world of journalism and media.
COFFEE WITH KATE
H
ASSIVE: You have one of the
coolest jobs in the world. You get
to travel the globe attending film
festivals and premieres, and you
interview major stars and directors. When
did you fall in love with film and realise this
was what you wanted to do?
KATE ROGERS: Aw, that’s going to give
away my age, isn’t it?! Star Wars pretty much
kicked it off. I was 11 years old when it came
out and I couldn’t believe it. But it wasn’t until
I moved to London, when I was in my 20’s,
48
that I started to get really hooked because I got
a lot more art-house cinema over there – so
film became less of a pass-time and more of an
addiction. Then I moved back to New Zealand
and got this job, which is the first time I had
an idea that I might be able to work in film and
turn what was an addiction into a job.
M: Early on you were involved in radio. How
did you transition from radio to television?
Was it a big adjustment process?
KR: Yeah, it was, and it’s all about having the
balls. I didn’t think that I could do television,
so I didn’t make the leap from radio until after
I travelled. Radio was a revelation for me – it
was definitely my first love. I worked breakfast
radio for a decade in Auckland and Taranaki,
and I had this part of me that wanted to give
TV a crack, but I never had the guts. Then I
went and lived overseas, and when you do that
you get the confidence to do more. So when
I came back to New Zealand I went to TVNZ
and TV3, and TV3 gave me a crack without
having had any experience in television. The
first two years at TV3 was the most challenging
situation I’ve been in. I wasn’t doing entertainment at that point, just pure daily news,
which is relentlessly challenging. You have to
know about a whole lot of things, and I wasn’t
very good at it [laughs] – I knew I had to
specialise.
M: Speaking of specialising, in 2010 you
launched your own half-hour local film show
Reel Late with Kate – New Zealand’s only
locally produced film show – full of reviews,
interviews and behind-the-scenes access.
As a self-confessed film junkie, how big an
achievement was that?
KR: It was huge. One of the things I noticed
about UK television was it had a few excellent
film shows. I came back thinking ‘I wonder
what New Zealand’s doing with its film shows?’
– but there was nothing. I knew immediately
that was going to be something that I was
pushing hard to do. But as anyone who tries to
make television in New Zealand will tell you,
you’re pushing shit up hill. It’s tough. I got my
executive producer, Charlotte Purdy, on board
with her production company, and I took the
Film3 brand, which I’d introduced into 3News.
That brand had cemented itself, so we were in
a position where we could do something; and
TV3 was going to support us, but support us
in a warm fuzzy way – not in a financial way
[laughs]. We had to go out and 100% fund the
show with sponsorship. But we did, and we
went on for 35 episodes on the trot. It was the
most satisfying project that I’ve done because
we had the opportunity to tell longer form,
and we were able to get people in the industry
to come and guest star and talk film – we had
everyone from Karl Urban to Vincent Ward to
the Outrageous Fortune stars.
M: You’ve been quoted as saying “we’re an
awesome little country doing awesomely big
things in the film industry”. Having reviewed
films and been exposed to it for years now,
how do you think the Kiwi film industry is
evolving?
KR: I feel like we now have two distinct industries. One of them is the Avatar’s and The
Hobbit’s and those big films that come down
here and employ talented Kiwi filmmakers,
from lighting all the way through to location
scouts and so on, and that seems to be getting
stronger and stronger. Then you’ve got a
mixture of films which are made or financed
by the New Zealand Film Commission and
New Zealand On Air, and films that are made
by independent Kiwi filmmakers who can’t get
funding, and subsequently do it themselves.
M: In your line of work, you’re forced to
travel a lot. How hard is it to balance your
professional life with your personal one?
KR: It’s difficult. You have to work hard on
your relationships because you’re out of the
country a lot. While it can be glamorous, the
reality is you spend a lot of time on the road
and in hotel rooms on your own. I don’t often
travel with a crew because junkets – a junket
is how they term the fact that all the reporters
turn up at a hotel and they have cameras in
each room with each star – don’t require a
crew. From a journalistic perspective, you’ll
sit outside a hotel room, you walk in, Christian
Bale is sitting there, and there’s a camera
pointing at you, and a camera pointing at him,
and you have three or four minutes to “speed
date” with him, and then they give you your
two takes and you walk into the next room and
it’s Chris Nolan. I’m on my own for that, and
I’d say probably about 80-90 % of the time
I’m travelling by myself, so it can be quite an
isolated environment. You build relationships
with your fellow entertainment reporters from
other countries, and that’s a lifesaver.
M: How do you prepare for an interview?
How much work goes into it and how scripted
are the questions?
fair enough because there is that perception
that Disney, or whoever, flies me first class to
the States to stay in a five-star hotel and they
show me this film and they give me a big movie
star like Johnny Depp and so of course I’m
going to love it – but if you allow yourself to be
swayed by that you’re in trouble. I try to be as
unbiased as possible because that’s fairness to
the filmmaker and the profession.
When you’re sitting opposite big names in the
film industry – and sometimes some of the
sexiest people in the world – how do you stay
calm and collected?
KR: And how do I not leap across the chair
and straddle them and pash them? [laughs].
I confess, in the early days, I used Rescue
Remedy to calm me down. Also, some people
are a letdown in the flesh – I’m not going to
say who – but some are. But generally, movie
‘YOU WALK IN, CHRISTIAN BALE IS SITTING THERE, AND THERE’S A CAMERA
POINTING AT YOU AND A CAMERA POINTING AT HIM, AND YOU HAVE THREE OR
FOUR MINUTES TO ‘SPEED DATE’ WITH HIM.’
KR: I am an over-researcher. I’d rather be overprepared than under-prepared because there’s
nothing worse than that. When I did Casino
Royale – this was when Daniel Craig was
first cast as James Bond – I got a 35-minute
interview with him for that. Unheard of! The
next Bond film? Four minutes. For a fourminute interview, you’ve barely got time to get
started, but for a 35-minute interview you need
to know your stuff. But I enjoy it, because who
doesn’t want to read about Hollywood stars
like Daniel Craig and stare at photos of him?
[laughs]. You also get extensive production
notes from the studio for films with all sorts
of awesome things: the production comments
from the cast, where it was shot, how it was
shot, scripting – lots of detailed information
like that – which can be really useful. One
of the main things is narrowing down what
your question line is going to be. It’s also
listening to what the interviewee is saying, and
knowing that you can go on with them entirely
somewhere else. So what happens is I write
the questions down, and I take in my little
notebook like a safety blanket, but I never end
up looking at it because I already know what
I’m going to ask and I crack on with it.
M: You have interviewed some of the biggest
names in the business – some of them that
come to mind are Johnny Depp, Emma
Stone, and Sir Peter Jackson – and then you’ll
review their films. How hard is it to maintain
professionalism and objectivity after sitting
down and meeting them?
KR: Not hard, because I know there’s no way
when I review the film in a month’s time Christopher Nolan is going to Google my review
[laughs]. I get asked that question a lot and it’s
stars are movie stars because they’re smoking
hot! I’m heterosexual, but Emma Stone is
beautiful. So is Jessica Alba. You look at them
and you know why they are who they are.
And it’s not just styling – they’re just another
breed, some of them. Meryl Streep is another
example. That woman has the most beautiful
skin and bright blue eyes, and she’s beautiful,
and you sort of go “wow”.
M: What’s your advice to someone who wants
to get into film and television or journalism?
KR: Back yourself, be relentless, and learn
as much about how the industry works from
the inside. If there’s anybody that you know,
or you have a contact, use them. It’s about
equipping yourself with as much information
and knowledge as you can so that you know
what choices are available – and those choices
are constantly changing. Our online news
department grows by the week. That’s the
perfect grassroots start to journalism. If you
want to get into television, work out if they
have an internship system and who you need
to speak to; and don’t just send out an email
and sit around waiting. They’re not going to
get back to you on the first email – learn to
hound subtlely.
M: You’ve achieved so much already, but do
you have any more significant career goals?
KR: I’d really like to see Reel Late with Kate
back in some capacity because it saddens me
that we don’t have a local film show on air. It’d
be great for the industry to have that back up
and running. Then there are still some people
on my hit list that I’m yet to interview like
Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese, and I’ve got
to interview Tom Cruise [laughs] – so I can’t
die until that’s done.
49
FEATURE
MILLS & POON: DICK HARDY & JENNA TALIA
Dick Hardy concludes his adventure on the way home from the Ferg Bar, and even
puts his ego aside and lends Jenna Talia a ‘hand’ in a boring lecture theatre in the
lead up-to the Wonderland Ball.
DICK HARDY THE BLONDE AND THE
REDHEAD
g
o, for those of you who didn’t read last
week’s episode, here’s a brief rundown
to bring you up to speed.
I was at the Ferguson bar with two
female friends who had both been drinking. I
was sober and had managed to get both of the
girls feeling bold. A little bit of Katy Perry’s I
Kissed a Girl was all it took to get a three-way
kiss going on, and before long the girls had
agreed to come back to my house to continue
the fun. I could hardly wait.
We arrived at my house, both of the girls
flustered and excited from an adventurous
car ride, and I was also suitably aroused from
watching them in the rear-view mirror. The
blonde asked for my bathroom straight away
and I pointed her to it while I took the redhead
by the hand.
‘So, you looked like you were having fun in the
car,’ I smirked at her.
‘This is so crazy, but I’m so turned on,’ she
blushed at me and so I turned toward her and
I let my tongue find hers. She jumped up so
her legs were around me and her dress rode up
around her waist. I caught her legs and carried
her into my bedroom. Laying her down, I
pressed my weight into her and she began to
50
tug at my shirt. In moments, I was left only in
my jeans, and just as quickly I had her down to
a bra and panties.
‘Well this looks fun,’ the blonde said seductively from the door, having returned from
the bathroom. Redhead squirmed out from
beneath me and said she needed to go to
the bathroom too. Girls and their bladders.
Sheesh.
As she went to shuffle past, the blonde, they
fell into each other’s arms and shared a long
and wet kiss. The blonde’s hand reached down
and gripped the redhead’s ass underneath
her underwear and I just about jumped up to
join them before the redhead scampered off
toward the toilet. Left alone with the other
girl now, I crawled properly on to my bed and
patted the space next to me. Obliging, she
came and lay down next to me. I was more
aroused than I can ever remember being and
she must have been too because we attacked
each other with searching hands and tongues.
My fingers slipped between her thighs and
found themselves wet and hot. I looked up as
I heard the redhead come back into the room
and, standing at the end of the bed, she undid
her bra letting her breasts fall free. The three
of us smiled at each other, nervous, excited
and horny.
‘Lie down,’ the blonde told me. I did as I was
told, and together the girls pulled my pants
and jockeys off. My manhood was straining
against the air, eager to be touched, eager
for release. The girls giggled excitedly and I
closed my eyes as I felt fingertips trace up and
down my legs, across my stomach and over my
chest. I inhaled sharply as they made their way
to my shaft.
Quickly I reached over to my bedside drawer
and pulled out a conveniently placed condom.
I dropped the packet onto my stomach and
the girls laughed at my hint. The redhead
gripped my member tightly and I just about
lost control at the sudden pressure.
‘Shit, I need that inside of me,’ she moaned
and feeling brave, she rolled the condom
over me and in the same haste, sunk herself
on top of me. I groaned in pleasure and the
blonde silenced me with her lips. The redhead
reached behind her as she was riding me and
began squeezing my balls and the blonde
began licking inside my ear while her hands
tweaked my nipples.
I knew I wouldn’t last long with so much stimulation so I needed to distract myself. I pulled
the blonde roughly so she had a leg on either
side of my head. At first she seemed a little
self-conscious but then I leaned up and buried
my tongue into her panties and she relaxed her
weight on top of me. I heard them making out
on top of me and I began furiously working
my tongue across the blonde’s clitoris. The
redhead was thrusting herself back and forth
against me like she was in a race and I realised
I couldn’t hold back any longer.
With a mouth full, I began moaning and
releasing at the same time, intent on still
using my tongue. My senses were overloaded
with arousal and the girls didn’t stop, even
as my orgasm subsided. Still hard but super
sensitive, the redhead kept going until I felt
her contract. I continued flicking my tongue
against the blonde’s mound and suddenly, I
realised the two girls had begun to orgasm at
the same time on top of me.
‘Unnnghhhmmmaaahhh,’ they groaned into
each other’s necks, humping, animalistic
beings, any reservations gone.
Finally, exhausted, they rolled off me in
euphoric stupors. Eventually we fell asleep in
a three-way spoon train and so ended the first
of many similar fun-filled evenings!
+
JENNA TALIA
ERECTION IN A LECTURE
g
ince writing these articles, my
hormones have been in overdrive.
Watching people read my stories in
lectures, the idea of having such a
dirty little secret is very exciting. When the last
edition came out, I was sitting in my lecture
when who other than Dick Hardy himself sat
two seats across from me. He purposefully
placed his newly picked up edition of Massive
on the desk and looked up at me. As hard as I
tried to suppress them, I couldn’t help feeling
butterflies at what I realised he was about to
read. His smile was cocky. It annoyed me that
he was such an expert at looking attractive.
But I knew his dirty secrets too. I flicked my
own edition open and we both raced to the
Mills and Poon section. I quickly read his story
while he read mine and when I had finished
I looked over at him with raised eyebrows.
I wanted to doubt his story but after getting
to know him better recently, I realised it was
probably true. When he finished reading mine
he looked up at me, his eyes dripping with
lust. He licked his lips at me and I scoffed at
his objectifying gaze, although I was secretly
happy it had turned him on. He shuffled in his
seat and then moved to the seat next to me.
‘Well how am I supposed to pay attention in
class now when I have a furious erection?’ he
asked me cheekily. I almost burst out laughing
but risked a quick peek. He wasn’t lying! He
even leaned back to let me observe his rigid tent
pole, the audacity! I quickly looked around to
see if anyone else was watching but our lower
torsos were pretty much hidden beneath the
desks. I wanted to match his boldness and so
looking nonchalantly in the opposite direction,
I reached out and grabbed his manhood firmly
and massaged him through his pants. I heard
him suppress a groan and just as abruptly, I
stopped what I was doing and looked back
to the lecturer. I smirked at him and began
taking notes, ignoring his frustration.
‘Oh two can play at this game, Miss Jenna
Talia,’ he whispered at me. I continued writing,
enjoying the power I had over him when I felt
creeping fingers on my leg. I slapped his hands
away, angry at the electric touch his fingers
had. He was persistent though, and stronger
than me. His hands brushed higher on my
thigh and it annoyed me that I was letting him
get to me.
‘I have much better control of myself than you,
ya know,’ I bluffed.
‘No, you’re just better at hiding it,’ he said.
‘So did you hear we’re getting free tickets to
the Massey Alice in Wonderland ball?’ As he
asked the question, his hand slid right up to
the lining of my underwear but his question
distracted me.
‘Uhh, yeah, it should be good,’ I said, ruffled.
I reached down and moved his hand away,
insistent this time. He looked at me with a
strange look in his eye.
‘Who are you going with?’ he asked.
‘Oh, wouldn’t you like to know,’ I teased. I was
going with a guy friend, but strictly as mates.
It made me happy to see the disappointment
on his face.
‘Okay, well I guess I’ll see you there then,’ he
said. ‘I’m gonna ditch this lecture, I can’t seem
to focus very well today,’ he laughed.
‘Ok, Hardy, I’ll see you on Saturday,’ I said.
As he got up to leave, I wondered who he was
going with and I knew it would shape up to be
an interesting night. Anyway, I’m sorry if this
week wasn’t quite as racy as you’re used to,
but stay tuned for the final edition next week
where things will definitely heat up ;)
until then,
Jenna Talia
51
It is important to encourage a culture of appreciation and respect for those who base their aspiring careers and
achievements around the passion they have for their creativity and talents. New Zealand no longer needs to be fed
on a culture of Tall Poppy Syndrome. Relish in the talents of your peers – those who study alongside you at the
same institution, those who you pass in the hallway, and those who you stand in the line with at the cafe but who
you seldom get to appreciate for their hard work due to a difference in what your major is. The quality of work in
design and arts being produced at Massey is outstanding. KIlling it at Massey provides a platform on which our
artistically minded students can share their craft. Abigail Leggett talks to some of Massey’s talented students.
MASSEY’S GOT TALENT
AMBROSE HICKMAN
Age: 24 Year: Two Degree: Post graduate diploma of fine arts Place of Origin: Christchurch
This man is a little bit of an inspiration to all
us suffering students out there. He’s already
got his degree, and one in Fine Arts from the
University of Canterbury to boot! So he’s been
there done that and moved on to bigger and
better things, which is a post-grad Diploma in
Fine Arts at Massey, Wellington.
This says to me he must be so passionate about
his art, about his photography, and that passion
has been absolutely translated into his photos.
Hickman chose photography out of a love of
making images and meeting people he would
otherwise never meet in everyday life. Incorporating a passion for photo-journalism with
inspiration taken from the works of Chauncey
Hare, Alec Soth and even Louis Theroux,
Ambrose has conjured a photographic style
all of his own using his prized Phase One
medium format camera. This is a labour of
love for Hickman who goes out nearly every
day of the week on the hunt for new aspects of
our world to capture, new snippets of human
life to document. One thing that Ambrose has
expressed that is essential to his photography
and for his audience to know is that these
are not quick snapshots done for ornamental
purposes. He has spent a lot of time with the
people he has captured and keeping in mind
that approaching strangers is never easy. In
some of his most recent work he shot a series
of fathers and sons around New Zealand. In
the words of Hickman, himself “These images,
like most of the images I have made, happened
by chance, being in the right place at the right
time and more importantly seizing a moment
before it disappears. I want these images to
encapsulate the idea of belonging and ‘home’.
The feeling of what home is... and what home
is for me.” View more of Ambrose’s incredible
work at a postgraduate exhibition in the
Engine Room at Massey, Wellington after the
semester break.
NICK CLITHEROE
Age: 19 Year: Two Degree: Fine Arts Place of Origin: Christchurch
Whenever I see a piece of Nick Clitheroe’s
artwork I get a funny feeling inside. It’s like
what I imagine it would be like to see a UFO
and to just want to show everyone right then
and there because you know you’ll never fully
be able to express in words the gnarlyness
of what you’ve seen. You question yourself
and think ‘maybe it was just a plane’ but on
reflection you know that it is really so much
more than that and you come away from it a
little bit ‘mindfucked’.
Drawing inspiration from the works of
Jean-Michele Basquiat and from time
spent in New York, there is a sort of bizarre
‘non-environment’ feel to his own work mixed
with some sort of buzzy, hallucinogenic haze
feel to his work of multi-media pictorial
elements. These are not political statements.
These are street art with aspects of doodling
you would have done in those boring as hell,
high school maths classes which is exactly
52
where this all started for Nick. He’s thrown
this knack for incessant scribbling in with
bold straight-up visual elements, easy to read
evocations and scores of motifs and symbols
created through the use of spray paint, paint
pens, oil paints and stencils (even a couple of
donated skateboards).
At this present point in time, Nick has been
working on pieces that draws from elements
of neo-expressive tribal art and African masks
for his uni assignments and they’re looking
just so damn rad that I’ve got my eye on a few.
In the future, he’s going to continue in the
art world as a practising, full-time fine artist
creating works for all audiences. Whatever
he’s intending, Nick Clitheroe has something
to say through his artwork. It hits you in the
face and makes you stop and stare. Get ready
to see this work blow up everywhere. You
won’t forget it. You can’t forget it.
Get amongst his work at nalc.tumblr.com
Opposite page, LEFT HAND SIDE: A selection of Ambrose’s photographs
Right hand: Two of Nicks paintings (photographed by Brynn Chadwick)
53
SPORTS
BLACK STICK DOES IT FOR PALMY
Yvette Morrissey talks to the Black Sticks’ top scorer at the Olympic Games, Nick Wilson,
about the highs and lows of London
MASSIVE: What are you studying?
NICK WILSON: A BBS (bachelor of business
studies) majoring in finance and property.
M: Tell us about your time in London?
NW: It was awesome. It was my first time at
the Olympics, and it was a really great atmosphere. London did a great job in organising it.
It was a great experience off the field. The only
thing over-riding it was our performance. That
took away from it a bit, but looking back, the
experience was amazing.
M: Do you ever get sick of training every day?
NW: I love training – it’s just like anyone else
who loves their job and it’s my passion. You
know that it’s all worth something too. You’re
going to the biggest show on Earth and you’ve
got to be at your best. I find that my Massey
work keeps me fresh. It can be quite hectic
both training and study.
M: Did the Kiwis party harder than anyone
else in London?
NW: The village got louder and louder as
everyone finished their events. Our games
were right throughout so we had to sleep well
and couldn’t go out and party until the end.
When we finished we partied for about four
nights. It was really good to let your hair out.
54
M: How did you feel you guys performed in
London?
NW: I was quite happy with my performance
individually, but it doesn’t matter because the
team didn’t perform so well and that overrides
everything. I was really disappointed. We
came in seventh in the world [championships]
and anything below that is a disappointment.
We were hoping to get in the top 6. There were
a number of things [that went wrong], but for
me I feel we didn’t play as a team.
M: You guys tied with Germany (the gold
medalists) in one of your pool matches. What
was going through your mind the last 10
minutes of that game?
NW: We had to win by five goals to get into
the fifth and sixth playoffs, so there was a lot
to play for. We were trying to go forward as
much as possible, but that was the story of the
tournament. We had patches where people
were trying to do things they shouldn’t have.
We seemed like we were going in different
directions. It’s hard to remember what
happened.
M: The woman’s team did quite well in
London. If you guys were to play them, who
would win?
NW: Definitely us [laughs].
M: What do you think of team mate Phil
Burrows making one of the Mirror’s hottest
athletes of the Olympic Games?
NW: Good for him. I don’t know who voted
for it ... he’s single so he’ll probably enjoy that
exposure!
M: How was the Opening Ceremony?
NW: It was one of the best things about the
Olympics for me. You walked out and there
was about 50,000 to 80,000 people cheering
for New Zealand. It’s hard to describe, but I
couldn’t stop smiling the whole time.
M: Did you meet any famous?
NW: I talked to Kobe Bryant and I asked him
to say “This is for Palmy” on camera, and he
did.
M: That’s awesome!
NW: It’s a pretty cool video.
M: Who was your favorite athlete at the
games?
NW: Probably Lisa Carrington. She’s awesome
to watch in the gym. She’s so strong and lifts
more weights than us.
M: What’s next for the Black Sticks?
NW: We have the Champions Trophy in
Melbourne in December. Our coach said he
will probably still be involved, but not as a
head coach, so a new coach will potentially
come in. That transition will be interesting.
About 12 of us will be playing hockey in the
Netherlands soon.
03
SPORTS
LANCE ARMSTRONG: NOW IT IS ABOUT THE BIKE
Jacks Biggs looks into the witch hunt surrounding Lance Armstrong
AS THE HUGELY INSPIRING AND MUCH STUDIED
autobiography of Lance Armstrong is titled,
“It’s not about the Bike”, sadly for him and his
many supporters across the globe it is well and
truly about the bike.
The United States Anti-Doping Agency
(USADA) has revealed what they deem as
evidence to slap a lifetime ban and strip
Armstrong of all seven of his Tour de France
victories. He has, allegedly, been doping
throughout his career with specific “evidence”
found during the 2009-10 season.
Unfortunately for USADA, they appear to
have no physical evidence to support their
damaging claims. At the moment all they
do have are “witnesses”, former teammates,
doctors, and old friends who are willing to give
evidence against the seven-time champ.
Big Tex, as he is nicknamed, has had enough
of what he describes as “an unconstitutional
witch hunt”.
Most of his career has been shadowed by
claims of doping that he has fought all of his
life. None of the more than 600 drug tests
administered by the main cycling body, UCI,
during his career have produced a positive
result. Whatever your opinion, one thing is for
certain and that is that doping is crippling the
sport of cycling.
The Tour de France is an amazing competition.
The fact that these riders can race tirelessly
for the better part of a month through rugged
terrain is a remarkable feat and an indication
of what the human body can handle when
pushed to its limits. It is no surprise, then, that
many riders have been found out to be drug
cheats. This doesn’t make it right but it does
56
not surprise me in the slightest.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not being soft.
Generally in regards to issues such as sports
cheats I am the king of sceptics and the
first to throw the book at them. The hand
of God, Chappell’s underarm, and Nadzeya
Ostapchuk, the Belarusian shot-putter who
claimed gold at the London Olympics, for a
short while at least (that’s another column
in itself) are classic examples of sporting
fixtures marred by cheating controversy in
some capacity, whether drugs or foul play.
If Armstrong is definitely found to be guilty
when some physical evidence shows up then
he will certainly top that list.
I struggle to condemn a man who has inspired
a generation for his amazing feats in the
sporting world. A comeback from testicular
cancer, where he was given a 40 per cent
chance of survival after his first surgery, and
then to not only live but to win his seven titles
from 1999 to 2005 is astonishing, drugs or
no drugs. USADA believe they have reason
and the authority to strip him of his titles and
ban him from competitive cycling for life. In
their release they say that “in addition to the
lifetime ban, Mr Armstrong will be disqualified
from any and all competitive results obtained
on an subsequent to August 1,1998, including
forfeiture of any medals, titles, winnings,
finishes, points and prizes”.
After all these years and the on-going “witchhunt”, Armstrong has chosen not to defend
these claims any longer. He has fought them
his whole life. Some say this is a sign of guilt
and it may well be.
Maybe Big Tex wants to keep the whole
process hush hush so as not to tarnish his
name further. The French Cycling Federation
also sees this as an admission of guilt.
I still can’t get past the fact that he has been
tested more than 600 times and no positive
tests have surfaced. He is the most tested
athlete to have walked the planet. Some people
don’t seem to want to believe that what he has
achieved was legal.
It still confuses me as to why he is trying to
be torn down years after his wins. Is there
somebody out there who desperately wants to
bring him down? Why? Is there some hidden
agenda? Or are these “witnesses” merely
jealous and have been offered under-the-table
deals to co-operate? He may well be guilty but
the lengths some people are going to in order
to make this point seems excessive and almost
addictive due to how fixated they are.
Armstrong appears, on the surface, to be at
peace with himself, no matter what comes out
of this in the following months when USADA
hand over their evidence to the UCI.
“I know I won those seven tours, and everyone
I competed against knows who won those
tours – the toughest event in the world where
the strongest man wins. Nobody can ever
change that.”
Maybe I am clinging on to false hope by
thinking he is still innocent. I think no matter
what truly comes out that part of me will
always think he is. No matter how you slice it
he is an inspiring person. The trials and tribulations he has faced amount to an incomprehensible height. But until I see some factual,
solid, evidence he is innocent until proven
guilty in my eyes.
THE FACTS ARE …
• He has been tested more than 600 times and
never found to be positive.
• A two-year federal investigation into his
doping came up empty handed.
• The USADA facts are merely based on
hearsay and witnesses who may or may not be
reliable.
This may still be enough to wipe the name
Armstrong from the history books and tarnish
his miraculous achievements but he will still
go down as a legend in some capacity. He is
adamant he knows he is a true legal champion.
Lance Armstrong was told after his first
surgery for testicular cancer that he had a
40 per cent survival chance. Now I would
diagnose the same percentage with this fight
that may shadow him for the rest of his life.
Now he has more important things to concern
himself with – his family and charitable
foundation.
This quote from the Stephen King novel,
Misery,
perfectly displays Armstrong’s
feelings and contentment with his achievements: “There is a justice higher than that of
man. I will be judged by him”.
39
COLUMNS
HORROR – THE BEST IS YET TO COME
FILM BUFFED
Paul Berrington seems to
know everything in the world
about film, and wants you to
as well
With Temuera Morrison’s Fresh
Meat scheduled for release next
month, I thought I’d take a look
back at New Zealand horror films.
There were few horror films made
in New Zealand until the early 80s,
around the same time that a boom in
the genre was happening worldwide
after the slasher hits Friday the 13th
and Halloween. After them came a
wave of New Zealand productions
that dealt with supernatural forces
and gothic overtones.
Sam Pillsbury, who would go on to
direct many Hollywood misfires, got
the ball rolling with The Scarecrow
(1981), a murder mystery set in
Taranaki and adapted from Ronald
Hugh Morrieson’s novel. It was the
first New Zealand film to be selected
for the Cannes Film Festival.
Death Warmed Up (1984) established David Blyth’s reputation as
avant-gardist with a taste for the
provocative, blending explicit sex
scenes, sociopathic madmen, and
new-wave style into a film that,
though the epitome of ‘B’ movie,
is also unlike anything else this
country has ever produced. Blyth’s
recent Wound (2010) has also
established itself as a favourite on
the festival circuit.
Later in the decade, the film that
established arguably our greatest
director, Peter Jackson, was
released. Bad Taste (1988), featured
such grand scenes as an exploding
sheep and shared puke drinking.
Into the 90s, another fine Jackson
effort, the hilarious Braindead
(1992), confirmed him as both
flamboyant showman and master
of Marx-brothers style slapstick.
Something he would refine into a
Hollywood compatible vehicle with
another horror film, The Frighteners (1996), starring Michael J. Fox
as a goony psychic, and showcasing
some of the cutting edge effects that
would soon make Weta Digital the
go-to for spectacular imaginations.
From a far nastier imagination came
Scott Reynold’s The Ugly (1997),
a film that balances psychological
horror against sheer terror, and
stands as perhaps New Zealand’s
best example of the genre, developing a cult status internationally.
Garth Maxwell’s Jack Be Nimble
(1993) should also be noted,
blending the cinema of unease of
classical New Zealand cinema with
a profound supernatural world.
Since 2000 there has been rise in
the production of films made in New
Zealand, but one criticism has been
the lack of distinctive local content.
This is certainly true of New Zealand
horror, with films such as The
Irrefutable Truth about Demons
(2000), Devil’s Rock (2011), and
The Ferryman (2007) sharing more
in common with American straightto-video shockers.
Jonathon King at least incorporated
our local icon into Black Sheep
(2007), a film which celebrates
Peter Jackson’s early output.
And so back to Fresh Meat, a
film focusing on a battle force of
cannibals. So don’t get your hopes
up, it seems New Zealand’s golden
age of horror is still yet to come.
SHAVEN HAVEN VS NATURAL WONDER
ASK A GURU
Similar to the back of the bus,
this is where all the juicy shit is.
Each month we will answer
your questions via.
Formspring.me/massiveguruz 58
Q: I’ve recently found myself a fella.
We were taking things slow but
have found ourselves wanting to
take our love life up a notch if you
know what I mean . I’m pondering
whether I need to strip the old down
below area or if guys don’t mind a
bit of extra fluff down there?
A: Congratulations on finding
another half! So I am taking it you
guys have just been pashing and he
has been boob grabbing, and now
you both want to spice things up.
The predicament that you are in
however is that of a tricky one; go
bare or be al’naturale.
In this day and age, where the porn
industry is booming, and masturbation is rife among both sexes
(yes, everyone masturbates), we
are exposed to so many images of
females with little to no pubic hair,
and the commercial pressures of
shaving play a big part in females
making the decision to shave, and
also create a fallacy of females all
being shaven among males.
We must first think, would he mind
whether you choose to shave or
not? If you answer this question
with a yes then you should really
reconsider taking things up a notch.
Sex is special; and should not have
anything to do with whether you
are shaven or not. If you answer
the question with no, and believe
he won’t care at all, do what you feel
comfortable with.
As mentioned before, in this day
and age, males believe most females
are automatically hairless, so this
may be a good reason to shave it
off. However, you could play to the
‘European’ woman stereotype that
never shaves and is a purely natural
goddess.
It all comes down to preferences –
guru can’t make the generalisation
whether males prefer shaven or
unshaven. It’s something you need
to speak to him about, or watch
his reaction when he is making the
bang-bang with you. Does he look
confused, or a bit weirded out, or is
he smiling and making weird faces.
This will answer your question. If he
is a heterosexual male, then he will
most likely be smiling and making
weird faces, whether you are shaven
or not. He should consider himself
lucky that he even has a girlfriend.
Guru reminds you all that safe sex
is good sex. No one wants the clap,
so make sure you protect yourself
before you make the tap.
Claydan Krivan,
MASSIVE’s in-house Guru
Wanting more of a Guru fix?
Questions are answered weekly
and will be posted to MASSIVE
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This is why our coffee tastes so good.
Brewing at Tussock and Museum Cafés
59
REVIEWS
DREDD
Logan Carr
FILM
2012
Directed by Pete Travis
Staring
Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, and Lena
Headey
Based on the acclaimed Judge
Dredd comics from 2000 AD,
Dredd takes place in a brutal, futuristic metropolis where criminals
rule the streets. The only order lies
with the urban police force, known
as the “Judges” who possess the
combined powers of judge, jury,
and executioner.
The film revolves around one day
in the life of Judge Dredd (Urban),
a ruthless but morally incorruptible
figure in a decaying world, who
is reluctantly paired with psychic
rookie Anderson (Thirlby). They
soon end up trapped and having to
battle it out with former prostitute
and drug leader Ma-Ma (Headey)
and her clan, who want the Judges
dead to protect the “time-slowing”
drug they deal, SLO-MO.
Screenwriter Alex Garland (28 Days
Later, Sunshine) delivers a solid
script, while director Pete Travis
(Vantage Point) - with input from
Judge Dredd creator John Wagner
- brings the grim and unrelentingly
brutal world of the comics to life
with strong visuals, gritty battles
and gory violence. Shot in South
Africa with no use of a green screen,
it has a very “real” feel and steers
clear of unnecessary special effects.
Even the use of the drug SLO-MO,
which gives the user the sensation
that time “is running at 1% speed”
fits into the diegesis and isn’t just
thrown in to look pretty.
Kiwi Karl Urban is excellent as
Judge Dredd, further staking his
claim as a Hollywood leading man.
With his newfound physicality,
gruff voice and witty one-liners, he
comes across as the perfect Dredd.
Olivia Thirlby, as rookie Anderson,
does a decent job carrying the
emotional heart of the film, while
Lena Headey is wickedly good with
her twisted portrayal of Ma-Ma.
But while these things work, there
are a few that don’t. The action
scenes become repetitive, and the
story has been done before. The
most glaring problem though is
the lack of emotion. Outside of
Anderson, the other characters lack
the humanity to make them truly
engaging. That’s because although
the script is strong on the surface,
it fails to delve much deeper. Of
particular note is Dredd’s character.
The film at times hints at something
deeper, behind the helmet but
doesn’t quite pull it off.
Despite these imperfections, Dredd
is still well worth seeing. It succesfully captures the essence of the
comic and while it never scales the
heights of some other recent comic
book hero films – it is a solid action
flick and a must-see for fans of
Judge Dredd or the action genre.
THE YEAH YEAH YEAH’S - SHOW YOUR BONES
Roy McGrath
ALBUM
2006
Label
Interscope (U.S.)
Polydor (UK)
60
I started listening to this record a
lot during 2011. I’d encountered it
in 2006 when it was released but it
wasn’t until a few years later that
it really got me, and I really got
it. Show Your Bones is New York
indie-rock-royalty the Yeah Yeah
Yeah’s second full-length album.
Sandwiched
between
2003’s
Fever To Tell and 2009’s Itz Blitz!,
Bones shows a side of the YYYs
that they have not shown before
or since. With strummed acoustic
guitars, soft wailing vocals, highly
emotive/suggestive lyrics and
tight/confident percussion. This
version of the YYYs is a lot more
considered and offers a sound
that’s just as intense and deliberate
as what you hear on Fever, but in a
calmer and far more collected way.
The record opens with Gold Lion,
this song is the YYYs putting their
foot down. It’s an announcement
that they’ve confidently and
deliberately moved away from
the frantic pace and hyperactive
delivery of Fever and replaced it
with something more considered
and calculated. It’s the sound of a
band that’s comfortable in its own
skin and is developing substance to
back up the punch-in-the face that
their live act and first record is.
The album continues on with
the confessional-sounding and
emotionally rich Way Out. Songs
like this invite you to engage with
the band on a more intimate level;
the sound is more personal. It’s like
Fever was an easy way to access the
band and Bones is where you really
become a fan. The sound blatantly
departs from the high-energypunk-sound of Fever and is the
chalk to Itz Blitz’s cheese, but
there is enough desperate wailing
from frontwoman Karen O, moody
guitar and sophisticated sense of
melody that reminds you that this
record is still the same band
This is a great record, an example
of a multi-faceted, highly creative
act, showing just one of its sides. If
there’s a drawback it’s that, while
the YYY’s are clearly making a
point of showing a particular string
in their bow, it can feel like a bit
of overkill. “You have a different
sound to Fever, we get it”. It’s not a
rounded record showing their full
palette which can give the listener
a narrow view of their sound.
The best parts of this record are
O’s vocals and lyrics. She is an
incredibly gifted poet, a master of
using enough suggestive language
to tell her story, yet leaves enough
room for the listener to put
themselves in the picture. The
desperation and conviction in her
delivery let you know she means it..
SPECS OPS: THE LINE
Matt Shand
GAME
2012
Platform
Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Spec Ops: The Line redefines the
clichéd
shoot-everyone-you-see
military shooter game. It resembles
nothing of its predecessors in the
Spec Ops franchise and really
focuses on making the player think
about the morality of what they
are doing. It will take you through
the visceral world of war, progressively presenting harder and harder
‘no-win’ situations that will leave
your psyche fractured, body twisted
and soul wrenched… But that’s a bit
heavy early on.
The game is pegged as a modern day
take on the classic novel, Heart of
Darkness (or Apocalypse Now for
those who don’t read). The game
follows Captain Martin Walker
and his two somewhat capable,
and clichéd A.I buddies to search
for survivors six months after a
sandstorm ravaged Dubai. Early
on you run across a group of Arab
survivors and amidst some communication issues, you end up shooting
them. This kicks the hornets’ nest
and starts the journey through the
ruined city of Dubai and the interfaction warzone it has become as
you search for Colonel John Konrad
who seems to have rounded up
survivors. But whose side are they
on, and whose side are you on? It is
never really clear. Nor should it be.
The main drawcard for this game is
its story line and storytelling. The
game developers really understood
how to tell a story using a game
medium. Decisions that seem logical
in a game environment suddenly
have human consequences and can
really make you squirm from time.
One such event has you walking
through the devastation caused by
a mortar It is surreal and you find
yourself genuinely moved by your
actions as you watch wounded
enemies suffering all around
you. Every decision is tough and
immoral, there is no right answer,
everything you do is essentially a
shit sandwich. You just have to eat
it and hope for the best.
On the way you get to watch your
squad fall apart, and you eventually
begin to truly despise Cpt Walker
as he deteriorates into something
sinister and evil, but continue to
play to see how it turns out for him.
It is hard to write about Spec
Ops: The Line without ruining the
game for the player. The action is
standard third-person stuff, the
multiplayer is shit, but the plot
more than makes up for it.
I recommend gamers who like good
story arcs to hire this game out, shut
the windows, grab a six pack and
play it through on easy in one sitting
to experience story telling the way it
should be done.
61
COMIC
Awaits!
ADVENTURE
CONTINUED
next month...
62
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following Jesus together
living by
faith
known
for love
L Ross Jackson
DENTAL SURGEON
61 Hopper Street Sundays at 10.00
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Level 4 Baldwins Centre
342 Lambton Quay Wellington
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Email: [email protected]
Wallace Court Motel
W E L L I N G T O N
Quiet location
Studio Units and
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with kitchens
Free parking
email: [email protected]
www.wallacecourt.co.nz
ph: 04 385 3935 or 0800 492552 (reservations only)
63
PUZZLES
1
2
3
4
5
6
15
7
8
9
10
11
16
12
13
14
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
28
32
29
47
40
42
36
43
37
44
49
45
50
55
51
57
63
64
65
71
70
66
67
72
74
69
75
76
78
80
81
88
82
89
83
84
90
93
85
86
91
97
103
95
98
99
104
110
117
100
101
105
109
87
92
94
96
116
68
73
77
108
58
60
62
79
52
56
59
61
27
31
35
41
48
54
26
30
34
39
53
25
33
38
46
24
106
111
112
118
119
124
125
129
102
107
113
114
120
121
126
127
130
115
122
123
128
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
© Lovatts Puzzles
CROSSWORD
ACROSS
1. Alaskan natives
4. Beef cut
8. Lethal
11. Rifle or gun
16. Stately
18. Patiently enduring (4-9)
19. Ignoble
21. Supplies anew (2-6)
23. Let loose
26. Most hurried
28. Brought in (harvest)
30. Flung
32. Illegally helps
34. Roll (of money)
36. Proverb
38. Cavalry swords
39. Lighter (shade)
42. Incendiary crime
45. Mail (service)
47. In a state of activity
49. Synagogue scholar
50. Cosy homes
53. National song
55. Misbehaves (4,2)
56. Orb
57. Footpath slabs, ... stones
59. Title document
60. Invasive plant
64
61. Open
63. High seas robber
66. Snail relatives
68. Spend time idly
70. Surgical procedures
71. Actor, ... Curtis
72. Lightly fry
73. Resounding noise
76. Glum
77. Spirit of optimism
78. Insert more bullets
79. Used to be
81. Artificial curl
83. Seductress, ... fatale
85. Blend
86. Garment edge
88. Suspect’s excuses
90. Of oceanic flow
91. Old Testament book
92. Largest Italian island
93. Pimple rash
95. Met by chance, bumped ...
96. Stinking
97. Married
100. Senor & ...
102. Mooring hook
103. Amusement (park)
105. ... & chairs
106. Yankee Doodle ...
108. Geronimo’s tribe
110. Offensively loud
112. Collect
114. Modern
117. Depart
119. Mouth part
121. Lion family
124. Rhymes
127. Fuel oil
129. Untie (horse)
130. Meanest
131. Asserting
132. Strongmen
134. Dictionary compiler
135. Fortune-telling pack
136. Enlists (5,2)
137. Rainbow-making glass
138. Farmyard birds
139. Emotionally unmoved (3-4)
DOWN
1. Blow up (photo)
2. Preschools
3. Well-built
5. Increase (volume) (4,2)
6. Actor, ... Schwarzenegger
7. Barrel
8. Short-lived trend
9. Disembark
10. Rosebush pests
12. Uncommon items
13. Shortened words
14. Musical genius
15. Counterbalance
17. Crept (towards)
20. Mother
22. Media
24. Singer, ... Diamond
25. Immense periods
27. Make suitable
29. Savoury jelly
31. More rational
33. Radiated
34. Parcel up
35. Sponges
37. Biblical text
40. Blood vessel
41. Explodes (of volcano)
43. Small wave
44. Uptight (2,4)
46. Explorer, ... Polo
48. Frog stage
51. Use needle & thread
52. Urged (on)
54. Opinion column
58. Deep love
62. Horrify
64. Inactive
65. Artist’s stand
66. Sawn-off tree trunk
67. Rugby formation
69. Auctioneer’s hammer
71. Faucet
74. Sack material
75. Bullring cheer
79. Hips to ribs region
80. Achingly comical (4-9)
82. Gentler
83. Aspects
84. Admiration
85. Engulfs
86. Snobbish (4,3,6)
87. Wise Men’s gift
89. Grain-cutting tool
92. Remained
94. Ram’s mate
98. Fire fragment
99. Willy Wonka’s creator, Roald ...
100. Hit with hand
101. Speaks gratingly
104. Haul strenuously
107. Army exercise
109. Gear change pedals
111. Prayer ending
113. Line of rotation
115. Sexual abstinence
116. Harsh screeches
118. Destructive rodents
120. Charged particles
122. Estimate
123. Calculated
125. Courting male
126. Dress bottoms
127. Cross out
128. Moral principles
133. USA nickname, Uncle ...
134. Record of ship’s voyage
WANTS YOU
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out
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St / 04 8
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for the
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you up
t / 04 801 6
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www.cosmicnz.co.nz

karl urban – judge dredd

Transcription

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