Summer 2016 - Womanspace

Summer 2016
NEWS
A publication of Womanspace, Inc., a non-profit ­organization
serving adults and children in crisis.
Tamron Hall is honored
with Womanspace’s
22nd Annual Barbara
Boggs Sigmund Award
Recent Grants
Volunteer Spotlight
Wing Eating Contest
safe house provides nutritious
meals,
counseling, clothing,
and
toiletries.
Tamron noted that “It Starts Here” is
a tagline that exemplifies the comfort
that a person needs to hear during
a crisis. The words that let a victim
know you’re not alone, and after you
walk through our doors, you’re part
of the Womanspace family.
Chris
Bukosky,
Womanspace's
Board President, thanked our supportive sponsors, without whom the
evening would not have been possible. Dr. Husseini Manji, Global head
of Neuroscience with Janssen, our
presenting sponsor, took the stage to
speak about domestic violence and
how an abusive crisis can change the
human body. We appreciate his expertise as a scientist and a Womanspace
Address Service Requested
Womanspace, Inc.
1530 Brunswick Avenue.
Lawrenceville, NJ 08648
(609) 394-0136
Womanspace was pleased to honor Tamron Hall, co-host of the third
hour NBC News TODAY and Anchor of MSNBC’s NewsNation, at
our 22nd Annual Barbara Boggs Sigmund Award Ceremony at the Westin in Princeton. The 22nd annual
award was presented to Hall for her
work to put an end to domestic violence.
Tamron aims to raise awareness
about domestic violence and the services that are available in the community for victims and survivors.
Hall emphasized the need for programs such as Womanspace when
fleeing from one's home. One of the
leading causes of homelessness is due
to domestic violence. Womanspace
welcomes those victims with open
arms with our 24/7, 365 day a year
safe house. This is not only a safe
place for victims to sleep, but the
Inside This
Issue:
Social Media News
supporter.
Elizabeth Paddy, former Womanspace client, shared with everyone
her personal story with domestic violence. Although she was once battered, Elizabeth has triumphantly
succeeded in every aspect of her life
after leaving her abuser and credits Womanspace for her success. It
might have ended there, but a new
beginning started here. (To read
more about Elizabeth’s story please
turn to page 4)
Pat Hart, Womanspace Executive
Director, and Stephen Sigmund, the
son of Barbara Boggs Sigmund, presented the BBS award to Tamron, as
Womanspace’s 22nd BBS award honoree. This event raised over $140,000,
for Womanspace to continue providing care to victims and survivors of
domestic violence, sexual assault and
human trafficking.
It was made possible by Womanspace’s generous sponsors: Janssen
Pharmaceutical Research and Development LLC, Capital Health Hospital, Bloomberg, Church and Dwight,
Novo Nordisk, Robin Gosnell, Wells
Fargo, New Jersey Manufacturers,
Doctors Express Urgent Care, Peeq
Media, Witherspoon Media, Digital Dog Direct, Corporate Graphics,
Hermitage Press, Global Planning
and The Times of Trenton.
Cherish the Children
Awarded to Womanspace’s
Sexual Assault Program
Womanspace Says Goodbye to
Three Wonderful Supporters
COL Launch Save the Date
Elizabeth Paddy's Speech
BBS 2016 Recap
Testimony of Terror
Response Team Sign-ups
Upcoming Events
Mercer County 24-Hour Domestic Violence
& Sexual Assault Hotline (609)-394-9000
Text Message Hotline available 24/7 for the
Deaf and Hard of Hearing at (609)-619-1888
NJ Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-572-SAFE
Counseling & Support Services
(609)-394-2532
Non-Profit
Organization
U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
TRENTON, NJ
PERMIT #1060
Sexual Assault
Month's Review
Denim
Day
Employees at Workstride wearing
their denim for denim day.
Hopewell Library's display for Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
Trenton Police Department
showing their support for
Denim Day.
Volunteer Attorneys Needed to Help
Staff Womanspace Legal Clinic
Womanspace is looking for family law attorneys who would like to volunteer to assist survivors of domestic and sexual violence in our monthly Legal
Clinic. The long-standing clinic offers vital support to our clients.
The goal of the Legal Clinic is to provide an opportunity for a one-time consultation that can help clients to clarify their unique situation and to explore
their legal options. So many clients come to us with pending legal issues and
this has been a successful way to help them begin their journey with the best
information possible.
The Legal Clinic takes place at our Barbara and Herb Goodfriend Counseling Center at 1530 Brunswick Ave. in Lawrenceville.
Training on Womanspace and the work with survivors is provided to all
attorneys who elect to volunteer.
After the initial training attorneys are asked to sign up for a regular schedule, although the schedule varies based on the number of available attorneys.
Client participation is voluntary and the consultation in no way obligates
either client or attorney beyond the consult.
All communications between the client and attorney are confidential under
the laws and attorney ethical standards of New Jersey.
Consultations are private and 35 minutes in duration. They are scheduled
by appointment only, by Womanspace staff.
If this volunteer opportunity sounds like
something you would be interested in,
please contact Susan Victor, Director of
Counseling, at (609) 394-2532, or via email at
[email protected]. Bilingual candidates
(English & Spanish) are strongly encouraged
to apply.
2
Lawrence Library
showing their
support for April
as Sexual Assault
Awareness Month.
Remember, there’s never an excuse or an
invitation to rape, Denim Day 2016.
April was Sexual Assault
Awareness Month, thank
you to everyone who wore
their teal all month long
in support of our mission
to end sexual assault.
Prevention is possible!
Volunteer Spotlight
Womanspace is lucky to have many
dedicated volunteers who share in
our commitment to support victims
of domestic and sexual violence. This
month, Womanspace is proud to spotlight thirteen-year volunteer, Andrea
Ambs. Since joining the Womanspace team, Ambs has worked repeatedly on events such as the Barbara
Boggs Sigmund Award, our Wing
Eating Competition, National Night
Out, Communities of Light, and info
tables. Through her efforts, she has
been able to raise awareness about domestic violence and sexual abuse and
help Womanspace broaden the reach
of our efforts to assist people in need.
We would like to recognize Andrea’s
commitment to sharing the message and
goal of Womanspace throughout the
community. She often recruits friends
to donate and get involved. When she
isn’t sacrificing her time for our cause,
Andrea can be found working at a law
firm or acting in her community theatre! Andrea is a silent leader, and is
someone our staff has come to trust and
count on. Andrea Ambs exemplifies the
values Womanspace hopes to spread
throughout Mercer County. We are extremely grateful for her work and dedication towards moving our area closer
to a community free from domestic and
sexual violence. This month, please join
Womanspace in recognizing and thanking Andrea Ambs!
Recent Grants
UUCP- $1,000 for
Counseling Books:
Thank you to the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Princeton for this
generous donation.
Wells Fargo - $10,000 for
Transitional Housing:
Womanspace was delighted to be the
recipient of $10,000 for our transitional
housing program. Womanspace provides a transitional housing program for
clients who qualify. This program allows
our clients to stay in their own apartment
while working or going to school. They
can stay in in the apartment for up to 3
years.
Merancas - $75,000 for
General Operating Support:
Thank you to Merancas for their continued support year after year. We’re
very grateful to receive this grant for
general operating support and allowing
us to designate the funds where they are
needed most.
Lawrence Township Community
Foundation - $2,000 for Childcare:
Womanspace currently offers childcare in the evening hours 3 days a
week. This is an essential part to our
counseling office because clients need
a caregiver for their children while they
are receiving counseling services. We
are pleased to receive this grant, so we
can extend our childcare hours and
our clients know their child is safe and
well taken care of in the same building.
Thank you, Lawrence Township Community Foundation!
Trenton ESG - $20,000 for Safe
House General Operating Support:
Womanspace would like to thank
Trenton ESG for granting us $20,000
for general operating support for our
safe house. We are extremely grateful
for their support and helping us keep
our safe house running 365 days a year!
Bunbury - $15,000 for
General Operating Support:
Thank you to Bunbury for providing
Womanspace $15,000 for general operating support. This supports the agency’s operations as a whole rather than a
particular project, allowing Womanspace to use it in the area of greatest need.
Junior League of Princeton - $1,000
for Children’s Program:
Thank you to the Junior League of
Princeton for granting us with $1,000
for our Children’s Program. Children
exposed to domestic violence may experience a wide variety of stressors, which
can affect their social, emotional and
behavioral health. We strive to help
families live a better life.
Thank you to Senate
President Stephen Sweeney
for visiting Womanspace
Womanspace welcomed Senate President Stephen M. Sweeney and Senator Shirley
Turner to the Administrative Offices to recognize April as Sexual Assault Awareness
Month. Sweeney presented a proclamation to both Womanspace and New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault for the preventative work we do. Patricia Teffenhart,
Executive Director of NJCASA facilitated the meeting with Senator Sweeney’s Office
and assisted in the tour throughout our facility and our programs. The meeting was
attended by Womanspace Board Members, Advisory Council Members and Staff.
In Social Media News…
70 Likes, 1 Comment
We salute the commitment and creativity of those who lend a hand at such a
critical time! Thank you Student Athlete Movers!
An incredible moving company in California helps victims of domestic violence
by moving their belongings at no charge. After starting the company with his
brother 18 years ago, owner Aaron Steed was at first surprised by the calls: "I'd
periodically get calls from someone — usually a woman — fleeing an abusive
relationship. There were a lot of intense moments and crying... I remember
the conversations pretty vividly and feeling a tremendous amount of panic and
sadness. Handling those phone calls made it very real very quick. As the jobs went
on, we realized we were potentially saving lives." After recognizing the scale of
the need and unwilling to take money from people in such distress, the brothers
decided to make free moving services for people fleeing violent situations a
company policy.
Top tweet received 67,000 impressions
The cast of GIRLS has a powerful message about sexual assault. I dedicate this
to the brave survivor in the Stanford case who has given so much to change the
conversation.
Top post received 13 likes
Womanspace staff members showing their support for denim day! #denimday
#sexualassaultawarenessmonth #sexualassault
2016 Wing Eating Contest
at McGuinn’s Place
Wow! What a great turn out at this year’s wing eating contest. With over 20 people entered and a full house all around, Womanspace managed to raise over $650.
Congratulations to Womanspace Board President Chris Bukosky on winning the
contest! He managed to eat over 35 wings to win the trophy. Thank you to everyone
who stuffed their faces to raise money for Womanspace, and to McGuinn’s Place in
Lawrenceville, NJ for their continued support in hosting this event.
Womanspace supporters stuffing their face to
raise money for our services and clients.
EMAIL CONTACT FORM
Please help Womanspace go GREEN!
From left to right: Senator Sweeney’s staff member, Senator Sweeney, Patricia Teffenhart,
Christopher Bukosky, Senator Turner, Pat Hart, and Alison Daks.
Name:
Company Name (if applicable):
Address:
Email:
Phone Number:
Please mail the form to Womanspace located at 1530 Brunswick Ave, Lawrenceville, NJ
08648. You can also scan or email the form to [email protected]
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Cherish the Children Award Honors
Womanspace’s Sexual Assault Program
Womanspace is proud to be the recipient
of the 30th Annual Cherish the Children
Award. The Mercer County Commissions
on Abused, Neglected, and Missing Children honors someone every year who is in
alignment with their mission to help abused
children. Womanspace’s Sexual Assault Coordinator, Alison Daks, and all of our sexual
assault support advocates, were honored for
our response team. Womanspace’s sexual assault advocates assist victims in
their time of need at local police stations and hospitals to offer them guidance
and information about our services. We’re proud to serve the Mercer County
Community and help make it a safer place.
Communities of Light Launch
Save the Date
When: Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Where: D&R Greenway Land Trust
1 Preservation Place, Princeton, NJ 08540
Time: 5:30 P.M.
A Fond Farewell to:
Ruth Shankman Schnur
Womanspace is sad to announce the passing of longtime supporter Ruth
Shankman Schnur. Born in Trenton, NJ in 1918, she graduated from Elmira
College and Columbia University, School of Social Work. Ruth was an original member of the event planning committee for the Barbara Boggs Sigmund
Award. She was a dedicated and brilliant member of the Womanspace Board
for many years, also devoting her time to other organizations such as the Trenton Public Library, Abrams Hebrew Academcy and Adath Israel congregation.
Schnur passed away on May 13, 2016, at the age of 97. Womanspace celebrates
the life of Ruth Shankman Shur and thanks her for a lifetime of service, support
and dedication.
Phyllis M. Jannotti Moon
Womanspace mourns the loss of Phyllis M. Jannotti Moon, who passed away
on Monday, April 25, 2016. Phyllis was a passionate and devoted woman who
lived a life dedicated to helping others. A certified social worker for the state of
New Jersey, she worked for the Division on Women in the Domestic Violence
Program, on the Legal Review Committee of the Governor’s Advisory Council
on Domestic Violence and on the Governor’s Council on Alcoholism and Drug
Abuse. Phyllis worked with the New Jersey Police to provide additional training to police officers in supporting and assisting victims of domestic violence.
Womanspace would like to say a fond farewell to Phyllis M. Janotti Moon and
we appreciate her dedication to our organization and continued commitment
to improving the lives of others, especially the victims of domestic violence and
sexual assault.
Irene Switlik
A dedicated Womanspace supporter, Irene Switlik, sadly passed away on May
22, 2016. Irene was a chairperson, contributor and champion to various organizations and social outreach foundations throughout her life, including Womanspace, The Union Industrial Home for Children, William Trent House and
Trenton City Museum. Irene could often be found planning events, organizing
fundraisers and bringing people together. Her dedication to these organizations
left an immeasurable impact on the community around her, and Womanspace
is extremely grateful to Irene for her support and contributions.
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Elizabeth Paddy’s Speech
“SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE”
May 19, 2016
“The two most important days in your life are
the day you are born and the day you find out
why.” Mark Twain
DID YOU KNOW?
• Domestic abuse is the most underreported crime in America-only 10 percent report.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause
of injuries to women ages 15 to 44, more
common than auto accidents, muggings,
rapes, and cancer deaths combined.
• Every nine seconds a woman is battered.
• In 24 to 30 percent of all homes violence
occurs on a regular, ongoing basis.
• Approximately 95 percent of victims of
domestic violence are women.
• Violence will occur in 50 percent of all
marriages.
• Weapons are used in 30 percent of domestic violence incidents.
• According to a report from the National Organization for Women, averages
of 10 women per day are killed by their
batterers.
• Women who leave their batters are at a 75
percent greater risk of being killed by the
batterer than are those who stay.
• Of children who witness wife battering, 40
percent suffer anxiety, 48 percent suffer
depression, 53 percent act out with parents, and 60 percent act out with siblings.
• Each year domestic violence leads to
100,000 days of hospitalization, 301,000
emergency room visits, and almost 40,000
visits to a physician.
• The above stats represent only physical
abuse, but family violence has many other
expressions.
SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE
As a child growing up I suffered with low-selfesteem. I can’t recall a time when my father told
me that he loved me, or ever hugging me, same
with my mother. She was not affectionate at all
because her mother abandoned her and her sister, and my grandfather was left to raise them.
Because of that men took advantage of me as a
young girl. And it caused me to fall in the hands
of an abuser, All because I was looking for love in
all the wrong places.
Domestic Violence happens to everyone. All
races, all religions, all income and education
levels.
The question that people always ask is:
WHY DID I STAY?
The answer is easy. I didn’t know he was abusing me. Even though he held those loaded guns
to my head, threatened to hit me in the head with
an iron, poured hot food all over me as I sat and
watched TV. Constantly raping me. Ripped up
my clothes because I was going to a convention
for my job.
Not to mention I was hospitalized several times.
And I wanted my son to be raised with both parents, because I didn’t have that privilege.
I never thought of myself as a battered wife. Instead I was a very strong woman in love with a
deeply troubled man.
Abusers control, manipulate and make you feel
like you are the one with the problem, Its time to
Stand Up, Speak Out, And Show up for your life!
You are not the blame! It’s important to talk about
it. You have to expose the enemy. They want you
to believe that you are all alone and nobody is
going through this but you. “But You Have to
Show Up for your life!There are organizations
such as Woman Space out there to help, which
provides help and assistance for women and children in immediate danger. But you have to Show
up!There are Centers for Women and Families
that will provide essential services to domestic
violence and sexual assault victims in New Jersey.
These centers have 24-hour hotlines, and all services are confidential. You still need to show up!
Woman space provided a safe place for me and
my son. I strongly believe if I hadn’t shown up
to Woman space my son and I wouldn’t be here
today. But I showed up for my life!
WHAT DID I DO?
I turned my pain into production; I decided to
show up for my life!
A retired Elementary Teacher for more than 25
years credited to Trenton Public School District
NJ Governor Teacher of the Year 1999 and
again in 2008
An Author of Seven books
Founder and CEO Victorious Confident Kids,
an organization that raise children’s confidence
Founder and CEO of A Qualified Survivor, an
Organization for victims and survivors of domestic violence, Children’s Pastor for 15 years and a
Minister, A son and 4 wonderful grandchildren
who are all destined for greatness.
All because I showed up for my life! I give God
all the glory for my life today.
For the bystander you need to listen, don’t
judge. You should never judge a situation that
you’ve never been in.
Think about what compels you and how it
could drive you to show up every day. When you
are motivated, you can overcome any setbacks or
obstacles that may come your way.
Determine what has held you back from showing up for your life in the past. Perhaps you’ve
convince yourself that it wasn’t the right timing,
you needed more money, you were too old or
too young, you needed someone’s approval, a
certain degree or qualification, or some other
excuse. Now is the time to push all of the excuses to the side.
Every one of us has created excuses and made
poor assumptions at one time or another to justify why we didn’t show up for our lives. Often
the one who wins in life is not the one with the
most talent, the most resources, the highest level
of education, or the best luck. The one who wins
is the one who is willing to show up.
Always remember you are:
• BRAVER than you believe.
• STRONGER than you seem
• And SMARTER THAN YOU THINK
I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS:
I am free, but more importantly I am me. My
mission in life is not to survive but to Show up
for my life!
GOD SEES YOU;
HE HEAR YOU AND YOU MATTER!
SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE!
Shining a Light on Domestic Violence at
Womanspace's 22nd Annual Barbara Boggs
Sigmund Award Ceremony- Tamron Hall
Womanspace Staff and friends are all smiles at the event.
Womanspace Event Committee Member, Landy Eaton joined by fellow Womanspace supporters.
Womanspace Children's Counselor,
Megan Tantum attending the event with
her family.
Womanspace’s Director of Development,
Lauren Nazarian, with Honoree Tamron Hall,
and Executive Director Pat Hart.
Womanspace’s 22nd Annual Barbara Boggs Sigmund Honoree, Tamron Hall. “It Starts Here.”
Stephen Sigmund, Son of the Founder of Womanspace, Barbara
Boggs Sigmund.
Thank you to Hamilton Jewelers in Princeton
for making this beautiful purple butterfly as
our honoree’s award and a new BBS award.
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Womanspace Salutes Our 2016
Barbara Boggs Sigmund Sponsors
The 2016 BBS Committee. Back row from left to right: Ruby Suresh, Copley Szostak, Anita Moore,
Pam Clarkson, Lauren Nazarian, Ingrid Reed, Pat Hart, Linda Cooper, Landis Eaton, Jan Noonan,
Ellen Kemp, Dana Fraytak Troiano, Susan Pilate, and Denise Taylor. Front row left to right:
Debbie Cacciabaudo, Frances Zeitler, Tamron Hall, Linda Verrault, Rose Nini, and Joan Bartl.
Board President, Chris Bukosky, giving his speech.
Platinum Sponsor, Bloomberg.
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Womanspace Board Members. Top row from left to right: Maryann Chibbaro, Anita Moore,
Meaghan Cannon, Ingrid Reed, Kristin Keller, Christopher Bukosky, Ruby Suresh, Denise
Taylor, Pat Hart, and Jigna Rao. Bottom row left to right: Frances Zeitler, Linda Cooper,
Honoree; Tamron Hall, Dana Fraytak Troiano, Rose Nini and Joan Bartl.
Womanspace is so fortunate to have dedicated volunteers that support
our mission and help spread it throughout Mercer County.
Friends of Womanspace enjoying their meal at the Westin.
Executive Director, Pat Hart.
Bronze Sponsor, Wells Fargo.
Womanspace Salutes Our
2016 Barbara Boggs Sigmund Sponsors
514884_PML_2015_Womanspace_24X36_r2.pdf
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2016
Barbara Boggs
2015 Barbara
Boggs
SigmundSigmund
Award Award
2015 Barbara
2015Boggs
Barbara
Boggs
Womanspace SalutesSigmund
Our Event
Sponsors
Award
Sigmund Award
514884_PML_2015_Womanspace_24X36_r2.pdf
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514884_PML_2015_Womanspace_24X36_r2.pdf
Presenting:
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514884_PML_2015_Womanspace_24X36_r2.pdf
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2015 Barbara Boggs
Sigmund Award
Platinum:Robin Travers
Robin Travers
Gosnell
Robin
Robin Travers
Silver:
Robin Travers
Vacation Raffle
Presenting Sponsor, Janssen Pharmaceuticals, posing
Sponsor
with our Honoree Tamron Hall.
Bronze Sponsor, New Jersey Manufacturers
with our Honoree Tamron Hall.
Bronze:
Albin Family Foundation
Vacation RaffleVacation Raffle
Sponsor
Sponsor
Albin Family Foundation
Albin Family Foundation
Albin Family Foundation
Vacation Raffle
Sponsor
Vacation Raffle
In-Kind
Services
Sponsor
Boehm Porcelin
peeq imaging
Albin Family Foundation
Corporate Graphics
Boehm Porcelin
peeq imaging
Boehm Porcelin
peeq imaging
Corporate Graphics Corporate Graphics
*List incomplete at time of printing.
*List incomplete at time of printing.
*List incomplete at time of printing.
*List incomplete at time of printing.
*List incomplete at time of printing.
*List incomplete at time of printing.
Boehm Porcelin
peeq imaging
Corporate Graphics
*List incomplete at time of printing.
*List incomplete at time of printing.
Bronze Sponsor, Church and Dwight, with Tamron Hall.
2016 Barbara Boggs
Sigmund Award
Womanspace Salutes Our Event Sponsors:
Presenting Sponsor:
Janssen Research & Development
Platinum Sponsor, Bloomberg, showing their support at our BBS event.
Platinum Sponsors:
Gold Page Sponsors:
Robin Gosnell
Bloomberg
Maryann Chibbaro
Hamilton Kitchens
Silver Page Sponsors:
Bronze Sponsors:
Silver Sponsor
Doctor’s Express Urgent Care
NJM Insurance Group
Capital Health
Church & Dwight
Novo Nordisk
Wells Fargo
Silver Page Sponsors
Mason, Griffin & Pierson, P.C.
Saul Ewing LLP
Cokie Roberts
Vacation Raffle Sponsor:
Table Sponsors:
Albin Family Foundation
Kristin Keller
Joan Bartl
Bronze Sponsor, Capital Health, with Tamron Hall.
Benefactor Sponsor:
Danielle Coppola, MD
Ed & Pam Schmierer
Wayne & Bonnie Schur
Investors Bank
Baldwin & Obenauf, Inc.
PNC Bank
Gratitude Yoga
O’Neill & Associates, Inc.
Patron Sponsors:
Rony & Lauren Nazarian
Dede Nini & Bob Heath
Anita J. Moore
Dr. Robert C. Good
Linda Cooper & Dan Loughner
Chris Bukosky &
Kassia Switlik Bukosky
Joanne & Donald A. Coppola
Joan Bartl
Deborah Metzger
Ingrid & Marvin Reed
Pure Eco-Wellness Salon & Spa
Linda & Mike Verrault
Chief William W. Spain, RET.
Virginia Mason & Robert Willig
Kathleen & Louis Russo
Lance & Latonya Liverman
The Majeski Foundation
Great Looks Hair Salon
Mercer County Clerk
Paula Sollami Covello, Esq.
The Mercadien Group
Meaghan & Maeve Cannon
Switlik Foundation
NRG Energy
Princeton Healthcare System
Philadelphia Insurance Companies
All Saint’s Church
Raoul & Maria Momo
Anne Ciemnecki
Abrams Foundation
Jake Kramer
Dr. and Mrs. Vincent C.
Noonan
Bilanin Family Foundation
Landy & Peter Eaton
Patron Sponsors:
Silver Sponsor, Doctors Express Urgent Care,
showing their support for Womanspace.
Peeq Media
The Times of Trenton
Janssen, L.P.
Princeton Printers
Witherspoon Media
*List incomplete at time of printing
Digital Dog Direct
Corporate Graphics
Global Planners, Inc.
Whole Foods
Hamilton Jewelers
Bronze Sponsor, Wells Fargo, posing with Tamron Hall.
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22nd Annual Barbara Boggs Sigmund Event
Womanspace Executive Director, Pat Hart’s table along with speaker Elizabeth
Paddy , Board President, Chris Bukosky, and other Womanspace supporters.
Womanspace’s Director of Development, Lauren Nazarian, with our
honoree, Tamron Hall joined by close friends and family.
The event hosts! Director of Development,
Lauren Nazarian, and Development
Associate, Gina Vinch.
Womanspace staff member, Rita Lavender
accompanied by her family and friends.
Friends of Womanspace mingling at our event.
The technology raffle was a huge hit! Congratulations to
all the winners, we hope you enjoyed your prizes.
Womanspace staff members, Gina Vinch,
Natasha Rivera, and Danielle Scollins
enjoying the BBS event!
Over 370 people
in attendance
and $140,000
raised! Thank you
to everyone for
attending.
We love seeing some
new faces at our
events! Thank you for
supporting us.
8
Thank you to Denise Taylor and Copley Szostak who helped
sell raffle tickets, between the technology raffle and the
vacation raffle, we raised over $10,000 in sales!
Tamron Hall joins the outstanding group of
leaders that have been honored…
Prior Womanspace Barbara Boggs Sigmund Award Honorees:
1995 Cokie Roberts, Political correspondent, bestselling author and
sister of Barbara Boggs Sigmund
1996 The Honorable Ann Richards,
former Governor of Texas
1996 Mary Alice Williams, Television
anchorwoman and executive
1997 Diane Sawyer, Investigative reporter and anchorwoman
1998 Pat Ciarrocchi, Television anchorwoman and journalist
1999 Anna Quindlen, Pulitzer Prize
winning journalist and author
2000 Star Jones, Attorney, journalist
and host of The View
2001 Ann, Pat & Sandy, Domestic
Violence Survivors who appear
in “Bridges to Safety” video
2002 The Honorable Lindy Boggs,
former Ambassador and Congresswoman from Louisiana and
mother of Barbara Boggs Sigmund
2003 Linda Fairstein, Former Chief
of the Sex Crimes Unit of the
Manhattan DA’s office and bestselling author
2004 Emily Mann, Emmy Award
winning playwright and Artistic
Director of McCarter Theatre
2005 Kent Manahan, Emmy Award
winning senior news anchor,
documentary producer and host
for NJ NETWORK
2006 Nina Totenberg, National Public Radio’s award winning legal
correspondent
2007 Nell Merlino, Creative force of
Take Our Daughters to Work
Day, CEO of Count Me In
2008 Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D, Acclaimed
author, lecturer and filmmaker
2009 Nancy L. Snyderman, M.D., Renowned public health spokesperson, Chief Medical Editor NBC
News and bestselling author
2010 C. Vivian Stringer, Rutgers
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
U. Women’s Basketball Head
Coach, 1st Coach to lead 3 different programs to NCAA Final
Four, 2009 Naismith Memorial
Basketball Hall of Fame
Faith Ringgold, World-renowned artist and author
Stacey Patton, PhD, Distinguished author, journalist and
child advocate
Lee Woodruff, best-selling author, journalist and advocate for
injured veterans.
Joe Torre, Major League Baseball’s Executive Vice President
of Baseball Operations and
chairman of the Joe Torre Safe
At Home Foundation
Minh Dang, MSW, is an independent consultant, trainer, and
speaker on issues of human trafficking, leadership development,
and social justice.
Womanspace staff members Nathalie Nelson, Lauren Nazarian, Gina Vinch,
Pat Hart, Natasha Rivera, Danielle Scollins, and Susan Victor.
Womanspace supporters mingling and enjoying their night out!
Long time supporters and BBS event committee
members, Jan Noonan and Landis Eaton.
For the first year ever, Womanspace hosted a technology
raffle. Over $2,500 was raised from this raffle.
Event Committee Member and Board Member, Dana Fraytak Troiano,
accompanied by her mother.
Board Member Kristin Keller and Anita Moore, accompanied by their guests.
9
Testimony of Terror
By Queen of Spades
Damien* (name has been changed) admired
my “good girlness” but detested the elements
that made it so. He couldn’t understand why he
was not allowed to come over to my house, or
go out on dates. His favorite line was, “If you
love me, you will do this for me.”
Soon, I was doing activities—things I
wouldn’t normally do—all for the sake of
maintaining a good relationship with him. The
gift I wanted to save for my husband ended up
being his present instead. I wanted to believe
that Damien was the guy I would stay with.
Unfortunately, the moment he obtained my
virginity, the passion of the Forbidden soon
became the scorch of Hell.
Damien would throw tantrums if I went a
day without calling him, or if I didn’t call him
at the exact time we discussed. Tiny incidents
escalated from a molehill to a mountain in zero
to sixty seconds. Even when proof surfaced
that his assumptions was incorrect, Damien
would still treat his suspicions as gospel and
handle me as if I were untrustworthy. Two
examples of his behavior stick out like a sore
thumb.
One day, I used a curling iron to style my
hair. The end of the wand grazed against my
neck, leaving a tiny burn mark. I was running
late for school, so I positioned my hair so the
flaw was covered. When I had lunch with
Damien that afternoon, he noticed the mark
and fired off questions:
“Why is there a passion mark
on your neck?”
“Who left it there?”
“Do I know the guy?”
Here are some things that Damien did that
officially labeled him as my first abusive relationship.
1. Embarrassed me with put-downs. Whenever I did something that upset Damien, he
would be very quick to criticize me. He would
put down my weight or call me stupid, not caring who was around. He tended to be louder
and more abrasive in front of an audience.
2. Controlled my actions. Regulating my
phone calls, dictating where we would go and
what we would do all the time were things
Damien did constantly.
3. Told me his bad behavior was my fault.
Many times, Damien would claim I “would
make him do certain things” or that I was just
“being oversensitive and it was no big deal”.
Anyone that tries to negate your feelings so
that he feels powerful is a form of abuse.
4. Badgered me about sex, not caring whether I wanted to perform. Despite telling him
that I wanted to wait, he kept putting pressure
on the issue, claiming the quicker we made
love, the deeper our love would be.
It is those invisible scars that linger. One
bad relationship can thwart how you see yourself and how you interact with others. It puts
toxicity into otherwise healthy things. If one
doesn’t have enough time or discernment to
repair the damage, then others will swoop in
like vultures to feed off the weakness.
As a result, a person entering into another
abusive relationship is not strange to see. Usually, a person thinks the next mate is going to
be better, only for the affair to unknowingly
repeat the same rhythm.
***
I was lucky to have survived my erroneous
choices in companionship. Some people were
not so lucky, leaving family members and
friends to grieve their losses.
I say all that to say the following:
1. Real life terror is anything but beautifully
thrilling.
2.No relationship is perfect, but you have the
right for your feelings, thoughts, and person to
be treasured and respected.
3. Manipulation is not love.
4. Just because someone is not putting his/her
hands on you doesn’t mean you’re not experiencing abuse. The impact of emotional and
mental abuse can last for decades after the person has broken away from the perpetrator.
5. If you are that person who is always saying “Why didn’t she get out the first time?
You must be dumb, don’t have a lot going for
yourself, etc.…”, I will let you know, not just
as a survivor but one who has interacted with
others, it is not that cut and dried: particularly
if one has children, particularly if the abuser
is the primary breadwinner. This is a whole
ocean of grey and all dimensions of the grey
have to be handled correctly.
6.
If you are an individual who is prone
more to judgment than real assistance, then
your approach may do more harm than good in
terms of friendship. The person is already feeling some type of way about what she is going
through. Do you really think shining a strobe
light on the obvious (you need to leave) is going to make things better, or magnify things
ten times worse because she knows you speak
truth? If you can’t listen without condemning,
then you aren’t the support she needs at that
point. The abused needs someone that will
applaud the attempt and provide the resources
crucial for assistance. However, if things do
not pan out, be that person who will remain a
lifeline. Be that one who says “I’m still here.”
Dare to be the minority because the majority
has already wiped their hands.
I share this in the hopes that it will assist
others. I will be that minority to others, to
demonstrate what they can survive. I don’t
want anyone to go through the spooks of abuse
that can haunt them for years.
Don’t let flawed choices make you a prisoner of a potential cycle. Learn from it, grow
from it. That marks the difference between
mentally staying a victim and mentally evolving as a survivor.
Where Just Fine Gets Us
By Queen of Spades
You remember each day
When you asked how I was feeling,
And each and every time
I answered the same
“I’m doing fine”?
How would you react
If I were to tell you
That in every one of those instances,
All of those “just fine’s”
Were simply lies?
I lied, not to hurt you
But to keep from hurting you:
To try and shield you
From what this internal damnation
Is putting me through!
At this stage, you must choose your greater
hate:
Despise me for my flimsy veil of protection or
Abhor me for my intentional exclusion.
Whether you choose to inhale and maintain
Or exhale and just go,
For the record, truth be told:
I just don’t care anymore.
“Where Just Fine Gets Us” is one of the poems featured in Waves to Light, a collaboration between authors MJ Holman and Queen of Spades.
This connectivity of poetry and prose reflect both authors’ battles with their depression—from recognition, to how it affects
themselves and others, to their approaches on their prospective
recoveries.
One may obtain this collection via Amazon—in either electronic or paperback form through Queen of Spades’ Amazon
Author Page: https://amazon.com/author/queenspades
The book trailer can be found on You Tube:
https://youtu.be/g-JZzWDyJSA
10
Requested Donations
As much as every donation is greatly appreciated, our storage space is limited. We
are only able to accept NEW clothing, shoes, bedding, bath towels, and washcloths.
Gift Cards are always at the top of our list because they allow a client to choose the
items she needs for herself and her family. Gift cards to Shop Rite, Acme, Target,
Wal-Mart and gas stations are most helpful.
General Shelter Needs:
• New zippered twin-size mattress
covers (25)
• New zippered pillow covers (25)
• New twin size “bed-in-a-bag”
• New towels
• New washcloths
• Lamps for night stands (8)
• Alarms/clock radios (8)
• 8-gallon decorative waste baskets
and plastic bags (8)
• Plexiglas hanging mirrors (8)
• Quart-size Ziploc bags
• Non-stick roasting pan
• Microwavable plastic food
containers
• Matching round tablecloths (2)
• Matching dining room seat
cushions (8)
• 23-cubic-ft black top freezer/
refrigerator
• NutriBullet
Women’s Needs:
• New undergarments, size small to 2x
• New sweat suits, all sizes
• New long- & short-sleeve shirts, all
sizes
• New long-sleeve thermal shirts, all
sizes
• New leggings, all sizes
• New flip flops, all sizes
• New robes, all sizes
• New pajamas, all sizes
• Tone, Dove, or Caress soap or body
wash, sensitive skin (full size)
• Deodorant (full size)
• Pantene shampoo & conditioner (full
size)
• Cream of Nature shampoo &
conditioner (full size)
• Lotion (full size)
• Large hair combs & hair brushes
• Razors
Children’s Needs:
• Hair accessories for girls
• New socks, babies, boys & girls, all
sizes
• New undergarments, sizes 2T-16
• New training bras
• New clothes for boys and girls, sizes
7-16
• New clothes for teen girls, Junior
sizes 3-17
• Fitted crib sheets
• Baby pacifiers, bibs, bottles, and
bottle brushes
• Sippy cups
• New single, double, and umbrella
strollers
• Pampers, all sizes except newborn,
and especially sizes 4, 5 & 6
Counseling Tools, Client Activities & Team Room Needs:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Gift cards for AC Moore, Michael’s, Joann Fabrics, and Dollar Tree
When Love Goes Wrong by Ann Jones & Susan Schechter
My Life Now by Meg Kennedy Dugan & Roger R. Hock
Bottled water
Tissues
Individually packed snacks
Door stoppers
Contact Althea at 609-394-9000 for additional information or to schedule an inkind donation drop-off. You can drop off donations at our Administration office at
1530 Brunswick Ave in Lawrenceville.
If you wish to make a monetary donation or to make a corporate in-kind donation,
please contact Lauren Nazarian, Director of Development, at 609-394-0136 or
[email protected].
Counseling and Support Services
Drop-In Groups
1530 Brunswick Avenue, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648
Women’s Drop-In Support Group
Monday evenings 6-7 pm, Thursdays 1-2 pm
This confidential group offers support and information on coping with the effects of
unhealthy relationships.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Your relationship is NOT healthy if:
You are frightened by your partner’s temper
You are afraid to disagree with you partner
You have to justify every place you go and everything you do
Your partner puts you down or humiliates you
You are being hit, kicked, shoved and pushed by your partner
Your partner forces you to have sex
You don’t see family/friends because of your partner’s jealousy
Your partner has threatened to hurt you, himself or herself if you leave
No commitment or pre-registration required. Call 609-394-2532 for more
information.
Mi Hermana, Mi Amiga El grupo de apoyo, Mi Hermana Mi Amiga NO se reunirá los
martes de 6:00-7:00 pm hasta nuevo aviso.
Safe Mothers, Healthy Children
A psycho-educational support group for victims of domestic violence who are involved with
Division of Child Protection and Permanency
Group Topics
• What is Abuse?
• Safety Planning for You and Your Children
• Impact of Domestic Violence on You
• Impact of Domestic Violence on Your Children
• Self-Advocacy
• Healthy Self
• Healthy Children
• Healthy Relationships
Referral Process
Safe Mothers, Healthy Children is a psycho-educational support group designed for
clients who have been recommended by their DCP&P worker to seek “Domestic
Violence Counseling.” Intake paperwork will be completed during the first session.
Participants can join the group at any time, but must complete all 8 topics in order to
comply with their DCP&P case plan. There is no fee for this group.
TUESDAYS: 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM
Legal Clinic
Available morning and evening hours
• Do you have questions about restraining orders, custody, support, alimony,
divorce, separation or visitation?
• Can’t afford to meet with an attorney?
• Confused about your legal rights?
• Need options?
Attorneys are available by appointment to provide you with 35 minutes of legal
consultation. Sliding scale fee.
For more information contact 609-394-2532.
11
VOLUNTEERS WANTED
August 2
National Night Out
September
Response Team
Training Begins
October
Womanspace
Annual Meeting
October 25
Communities of Light
Launch Event
December 5
Communities of Light
Candle Lighting
For more details visit:
www.womanspace.org
Womanspace, Inc.
Board of Directors
OFFICERS
Christopher Bukosky, President
Danielle Coppola, Vice President
Dana Fraytak Troiano, Esq., Secretary
Kristin Marvin Keller,
Immediate Past President
and Treasurer
MEMBERS
Joan Bartl
Maeve E. Cannon, Esq.
Meaghan Cannon
Maryann Chibbaro
Linda Cooper
Anita Moore
Rose Nini
Jigna Rao
Joyce Rappeport
Ingrid W. Reed
Ed Schmierer, Esq.
Chief William Spain
Ruby Suresh
Denise Taylor
Frances Zeitler
Domestic Violence Victim Response
Team Members
& Sexual Assault Support Advocates
Support victims of domestic violence and sexual assault
when they need it most
Next training begins September 2016, at The College of New Jersey on Mondays and Wednesdays from 1:00-5:00pm
Visit our website: www.womanspace.org to download the application.
The interview process will begin this summer. The Deadline for
applications is August 1, 2016.
For more information please contact Susan Adams, Coordinator of
Volunteers and Community Outreach, at 609-394-0136 or
[email protected]
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
If you are being hurt by your partner, it is NOT your fault. You deserve to be safe and healthy. For help and
information anytime, contact:
Womanspace
24-Hour Hotline
www.womanspace.org
1-609-394-9000
Text Message Hotline
for Deaf and
Hard of Hearing
609-619-1888
National Domestic
Violence Hotline
www.ndvh.org
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual
Assault Hotline
www.rainn.org
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
New Jersey 24-Hour Sexual
Assault Hotline
1-800-572-SAFE (7233)
National Teen Dating
Abuse Helpline
www.endabuse.org
www.loveisrespect.org
www.thatsnotcool.com
1-866-331-9474
TTY 1-866-331-8453
Womanspace affirms its commitment to cultural competency. We recognize and value the
ethnic, religious, and racial richness of our communities, and encourage mutual respect and understanding among all people. True excellence in our organization and communities results from
identifying, serving, and enlisting the participation of all people who represent this rich diversity.
Womanspace News is published quarterly by the Development Office.
Correspondence and News may be sent to:
Development Office, Womanspace News,
1530 Brunswick Avenue, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648
www.womanspace.org
Summer 2016