PCNJ Newsletter-2012-03 - Pride Center of New Jersey

Spring 2012
The Pride Center of New Jersey
85 Raritan Ave.
Suite 100
Highland Park, NJ 08904-2430
www.pridecenter.org
A 501(c)3 Tax-Exempt
Not-for-profit Corporation
Newsletter Staff:
Robert Millosh Editor-In-Chief
Dave Lamphier Asst. Editor
Daphne Kanellopoulos Asst.
Editor
In This Issue:
 Cover:
 From the President
 Op/Ed: Politics of
Same-Sex Marriage
 Republican Round-up
to 2012 Election
 Marriage Passes in NJ
Gov. Fails Public
 Groups, Meetings, Social Events
 Whitney Houston Dead
at 47
 PCNJ to Host Male
Erotic Art Exhibit
 Social Networking
 Actor Comes Out
 Marriage in Riverdale
 Rutgers Hate Crime
Trial: Ravi Guilty!
 Why Me?
 2012 Valentine’s Gala
Photos
 Meet The Volunteers
 What Pride Means To
Me

Back page:
Pride Center
Information &
Membership
Vol. 20 , No. 2 Published Quarterly
From the President….
Dear Friends, Member and Supporters of the Pride Center of New Jersey, First, a heartfelt
thanks to all of you who have responded so far to our annual membership drive, either by
renewing your membership or by joining for the first time. It’s a way of taking prideful
ownership in the Pride Center, affirming that you value what we do here and that you believe in the importance of the services and programs we offer. The Board, our group leaders, and our dedicated team of volunteers appreciate the support and validation that your
membership contribution expresses. For those of you who haven’t gotten to it yet, it’s not
too late, and it’s easy to do, right from our web site, or the next time you are at the Pride
Center, or by filling out the form on the back of this newsletter and mailing it in with your
check. I can tell you that each membership, new or renewal, that arrives at the Center is
like a booster shot to those doing the work. Thank you! Next, I am issuing a challenge to
you all! In addition to membership, attending meetings and participating in the Center's
activities, consider getting involved on a deeper level. You have the opportunity to help shape, enhance and enliven our events by participating with others on the committees that plan them, or even head up a committee and
take a leadership position. Have an idea for a group or event that you don’t see on the calendar? Let us know
and we will work with you on making it happen. See an event on the calendar that you’ve attended and think
you’d like to work on to make it better, perhaps more inclusive? Let us know!
This March sees the start up of two new groups at the Pride Center. The first, Come As You Are, at the initiative of Pride Center member, Melinda Rivera, will be on the 2nd and 4th Friday evening of each month. By her
description, “a social group for GLBT community and straight allies where we can transcend cliques and stereotypes to form new connections and form friendships,” Come As You Are strikes new ground at PCNJ for inclusiveness. Check the calendar and come exactly as you are! And thank you, Melinda, for the initiative. The
second is a new men’s group called, Living Soulfully, ”a community of men who love men to nurture individual
and collective conscious spiritual growth. You are invited to share an evening of connection! We nourish the
mind, body and heart with opportunities to meet people, heart-felt sharing and fun in a safe, supportive environment.” The first meeting will be Friday evening, March 30. Further into the spring, April features, along with
our regular ongoing programs, an event-filled Saturday, April 21. In the afternoon, the Men’s Guild will present
an exhibit at the Pride Center of male erotic art, with the artists present to discuss their work. All are welcome.
Later that evening we will have our Spring Club Fest , promising to be the best ever, featuring a volley ball
game between the Living Out Women and Men Living Out groups. There’s more info about both events in this
issue and on the web site, which you are encouraged to visit frequently. Beyond that, we are already gearing up
for June Pride events and our annual LGBT Summer Picnic. I could go on, but read the newsletter and check the
web site! It’s all there. Looking forward to seeing your smiling, proud face at the Pride Center of New Jersey!
In Pride and Joy, David Rogoff
I welcome your comments. Send them to [email protected]
The Pride Center of NJ Membership
Becoming a member of the Pride Center is one of the
best ways to help ensure that the LGBTIQ community
of New Jersey has a “home” for meetings and services,
as well as a tremendous source for LGBTIQ information. The Pride Center of New Jersey is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, which means that your membership
contribution or donation is tax-deductible.
Memberships have great benefits like getting this newsletter right to your door, and valuable discounts on
PCNJ events!
–2–
Op/Ed...
The Politics of Same-Sex Marriage
By Dave Lamphier
A great day for New Jersey happened this February for the gay community when the New Jersey Assembly
voted to extend civil rights equality and recognize gay marriage 42 to 33. Unfortunately just as he promised
Governor Chris Christie promptly vetoed the bill.
I still believe New Jersey's day will come when we will have equal rights for gay people to marry, it's inevitable, but sadly it wont be today. Gov. Christie could have stood up for us by signing the bill into law,
but choose not to , citing the ''will of the voter'' and traditional marriage being between a man and a woman.
No, instead he chose to delay our rights to marry the one we love further for his own ignorance and political ends. I can understand his argument that the will of the people should also include a vote a more courageous act on his part if he would be to sign the bill because WE THE PEOPLE put the present government
into power what good is a legislature voted on by the people when it's governor fails to listen. I am kind of
insulted that the matter of gay marriage equality or any gay civil rights issues are done on a state by state
basis. If you think about it ,was a woman's right to vote or religious freedom or racial equality voted on by
the whims of individual states?(no doubt Tennessee would be a far worse place for women and African
Americans if that was the case, it still is for us) No, it was done federally with amendments, as should gay
civil rights be .But state by state case as it is now he might consider that 52 to 42 percent of New Jerseyans
are in favor of recognizing gay marriage.
Now, as for the traditional Abrahamic/Vedic religious view of a marriage being between a man and a
woman, uh HELLO, separation of church and state, remember that? And Religion itself is facing a crossroads in it's evolution on the subject, but that aside, we can not make laws OR veto them purely from the
values of our own individual faiths. Despite the fact that Protestants and Catholics form the majority of believers in the USA, America is NOT a ''Christian'' country, we are a pluralistic society and our laws should
reflect the freedom of ALL it's citizens to choose their paths in life free of Uncle Sam's imposing of his
own religious or partisan rules on them (unless Rick Santorum get's his wish, God preserve us from
that!).Gay marriage is not a liberal/conservative issue, it's a civil rights issue and God help us if we let
religious ideals alone decide what civil rights are (cough TALIBAN).
I wish you'd reconsider Mr. Governor, rise beyond the thought of political advancement or the idea of imposing your beliefs to do what is right for ALL the people you serve .To New Jersey's Senate and Assembly I thank you for doing what's right and for trying to make New Jersey a better place to live and standing
by the principles that built this country and made it the great country it is.
Center Staff
[email protected]
Rates for the Pride Center Newsletter (hardcopy):
Our quarterly newsletter is mailed and distributed to the
LGBTI. Deadline for ads Nov. 21th, 2011: Pride Edition. Ad
Rates are:
Business Card:
$30.
1/4 Page:
$50.
1/2 Page:
$75.
FULL Page:
$100..
MAIL CHECK WITH COPY OR VISIT WEB FOR PAY
PALStaff:
Editor-In-Chief—Robert Millosh;
Assistant Editors—Dave Lamphier; Daphne
Kanellopoulos
–3–
David Rogoff
Carlton Hurdle, Jr.
Kate Whitefield
Peter Dumpert
Al LeGoff
Leigh Pafford
Joel Cohen Esq.
Skip Quinn
Mitch Rubin
Tom Nicola
Glenn Patterson
Ricardo Murano
Harold Goldenberg
Justin Schultz
Carly McClean
Chris Fleming
Gary Pfeffer
Ray Johnson
Ellen Gilio
Robert Millosh
Dave Lamphier
Chris Demers
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President
Vice President
2nd Vice President
Treasurer
Asst. Treasurer
Secretary
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Trustee
Group Development
E-News Bulletins
Youth Administrator
Newsletter Editor
Trustee
Webmaster
Republican Round-up To 2012 Election….
2012 will be a presidential election year, and leading up to the election is the Republican primaries and caucuses
throughout the country. To help you sort through some of it here are some facts about the process.
First there are 2,286 delegates up for grabs with a candidate needed 1,144 to win the Republican nomination and
enter the November Presidential Election against incumbent President Barack Obama.
The candidates are Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts; Rick Santorum, former Pennsylvania Senator; Newt Gingrich, former speaker of the house; and Ron Paul, Representative from Texas. Romney is the front
runner and presumptive nominee. All these men have spoken out against same-sex marriage and gay rights during their careers.
The Pride Center of New Jersey, Inc.
Serving New Jersey’s LGBTIQ Community
A 501(c)3 Tax-Exempt Not-for-Profit Corporation
The mission of The Pride Center of New Jersey is to provide comprehensive programming which fosters the health and well-being of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
intersexed, and questioning (LGBTIQ) community, and to increase public acceptance and champion social change for the LGBTIQ community through education and outreach.
The Pride Center envisions a world where members of the LGBTIQ community are empowered as individuals, as citizens and as members of the larger community, enjoying
non-prejudicial treatment under the law and in every aspect of their lives. We will encourage the creation of a society that celebrates the inherent worth, dignity, and diverse
characteristics of every individual. We will be a leader in New Jersey for the collaboration of LGBTIQ and allied groups, the media, and policy makers; a resource and service
center for all persons and organizations who share our vision; and a place of safety and education.
The Pride Center News is a free quarterly publication.
Advertising rates: A business card ad is $30 per issue. Ad rates are determined by how many “business card spaces” (3.5”x2”) an ad takes up on one letter-size page and is
multiplied by $30. A full page ad is $300.
–4–
Marriage Passes in NJ and Gov. Fails the Public
by R. A. Melos
If you are part of the LBGT community or a supporter of the LGBT community in New Jersey you are
aware of the long struggle for equal rights in the Garden State. In 2006 New Jersey law makers enacted
the Civil Union Act, which was supposed to offer “many” of the rights of marriage upon couples (not only
same-sex couples) who chose not to opt for the full out “marriage” available to one man one woman couples.
Some of the legal rights not covered under civil unions are those such as workplace benefits, insurance
benefits, hospital visitation rights, all of which are held in place by the legal rights afforded under the guise
of “marriage”.
For some the issue is simply the word itself. Many people are opposed to same-sex couples using the word
“marriage” to define their union, yet marriage is the most accurate term used to describe a contractual union, and in legal issues it is used to describe many types of unions or coming together of the minds.
The most common definition of marriage taken from the American Heritage Dictionary is: a legal contract
between people that creates a kinship. It acknowledges interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and
sexual in nature.
With this in mind it must also be noted that marriage is interpreted differently by different cultures, and
because of these different interpretations “marriage” is constantly being redefined. It is also important to
note several states in the U.S. do have same-sex marriage on the books, including Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, and Vermont, plus Washington, D.C. and Oregon's Coquille and
Washington state's Suquamish Indian tribes. The state of Washington is scheduled to begin granting samesex marriage licenses on June 7, 2012, California is currently in legal limbo with the appeal of proposition
8 and Maryland recently passed same-sex marriage.
There are currently 30 states that have in some form a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages.
The recent events in New Jersey have brought to the forefront of much of the LGBT community the obstacles still needed to overcome. Governor Chris Christie (R) vetoed the bill within six hours of it reaching
his desk, after it passed the assembly by a vote of 42 to 33. In order to override the governor’s veto of the
bill 15 more votes in favor are needed; 3 in the assembly and 12 in the Senate, a two-thirds majority. The
legislature has until the end of 2013 to get the votes they need.
Governor Christie and opponents of equal rights for same-sex couples through marriage will be facing
harsh criticism from proponent groups such as Marriage Equality and Freedom to Marry who will fight
tooth and nail to obtain equal rights for same-sex couples in the Garden State.
Free HIV Testing
The Pride Center hosts the University of Medicine & Dentistry of New Jersey- Robert Wood
Johnson Medical School’s HIV Counseling
and Testing program on the 2nd Monday of
each month from 6:30pm – 8pm. They will be
providing free and confidential rapid HIV testing at the Pride Center. Any person 13 years
old and over is welcome. Results will be given
in 15 minutes!! Room 2
–5–
Out In Print
I Used To Call Her Muffin, But Now She’s Just Stale Bread To Me
There was a time when our love was new,
When we swore to each other we would always be true,
But our hearts turned cold and bitter, like old coffee in a cup,
And we didn’t make the effort to try and warm things up.
I used to call her Muffin, but now she’s just stale bread to me.
It all fell apart in the kitchen, and the bedroom couldn’t patch it up.
We were everything to each other except lovers and friends.
It wasn’t meant to be.
I used to call her Muffin, but now she’s just stale bread to me.
As relationships go, ours went.
I knew it was over the day she told me to “get bent.”
What once was a loving tone,
Now chilled me straight to the bone.
I tried, I swear, but I just didn’t care.
I used to call her Muffin, but now she’s just stale bread to me.
I woke up and smelled the burning toast,
It was no longer her I loved the most.
I didn’t have it in me to go the distance,
What seemed like eternity was over in an instant.
I used to call her Muffin, but now she’s just stale bread to me.
So my advice, my friends, for those self-absorbed like me,
Is to avoid the Muffins of the world, and go with the bagels,
Or the donuts,
Or even the French Toast.
Because Muffins, be they blueberry, corn or bran,
Won’t fulfill your emotional fiber needs,
If you’re more attracted to the cream in your coffee.
-- By R. A. Melos
Submit short fiction and poetry, or photographs for Out In Print to: [email protected] subject line
Out In Print
The Girl I Kissed
Peaches and cream,
Strawberry lips.
Soft touch.
Sharp nails.
Open heart.
I love her.
— Roberta Lemos
–6–
Marsha N. Shapiro, LCSW, BCD, LLC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Board Certified Diplomate
Francine A. Gargano
individual * couple * family * group therapy
community education * staff training
20 Shawnee Drive, Suite B
Watchung, New Jersey 07069
Attorney at Law
Phone:908-753-2079
Offices in North Brunswick and Toms River
(732) 422-9400
Annual Membership
Drive, a good time to renew your PCNJ membership. See form in Newsletter, or register on line at
www.pridecenter.org
–7–
FAX: 908-755-3586
GROUP MEETINGS & SOCIAL EVENTS
Check the calendar page at PrideCenter.org for up-to-date schedules of all meetings or call 732-846-2232
Gay Men’s Coming Out Support Group
GROUP MEETINGS
Arts Adventures: Provides opportunities for PCNJ members
and friends to participate with others in attending a variety of
cultural events (i.e. theater, museums, galleries, concerts, opera and dance). The date, time and place of upcoming events
are sent by e-mail. Contact [email protected] to
learn more.
A moderated discussion group for issues related to coming
out as gay men. E-mail [email protected] for more information. Every Wednesday, 7:30 p.m.
Gay Men’s Guild
Established to make a positive difference in the lives of gay
men, by providing a nurturing environment of understanding
and respect for gay men of New Jersey. The Guild is dedicated and committed to developing and maintaining a gay
men’s community. For more information [email protected]
Bisexual Social Support Group: The purpose of this
group is a discussion group that discusses different aspects
of the bi community. Such as, bisexuals in the work place,
family, and to be there in a place that is considered safe to
discuss these issues. Also, coming out stories can be shared
amongst the group.. The allies are friends of bisexuals who
show there support for the group. For info email [email protected]
Gay Men’s Living Out Support Group
Meets every Wednesday Night at 7:30 p.m. A Support Discussion group for gay men Living Out of the Closet. Afterwards men go to a diner to socialize.
Gay Men’s Social Group
Booked for Supper
Social, educational, rap, potlucks, for everyone. E-mail
[email protected] for more information. Second & fourth Tuesday, 8:30 p.m.
Each month the group will pick a novel to read for the next
month's discussion. Booked for Lunch is changing to Booked
for Supper, and will be meeting the 2nd Wednesday of each
month from 6 to 7 PM at the Pride Center in Room 2, beginning April 11. Contact Walter at [email protected]
GLSEN Central New Jersey
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. The training
committee meets 3rd Thursday at 7:00 PM
Come As You Are: a social group for GLBT community
and straight allies where we can transcend cliques and stereotypes to form new connections and form friendships. 2nd and
4th Fridays. 7:30 p.m.
Come Out and Play (COP)
A social networking group for 20- and 30-somethings, offering a variety of social events, helpful workshops and volunteering opportunities. COP meets at the Center the first and
third Tuesday, 7:00-9:30pm. Other events throughout the
month, visit http://www.pridecenter.org/cop/ for more information.
Gay Dad’s Coming Out Support Group
Monthly meeting focusing on parent/child issues for gay dads
info. First Wednesday night of the month 7:30-9:00 p.m..
Contact Joel at [email protected]
Gay Educators Group
First Thursday Each Month. 7:30-9:30pm This will be a
safe place for gay folks working in education to meet
other gay folks in education. This will be a social group
where members can meet new people and talk. We will
plan another event outside of the Pride Center. Drop-ins
and new members are always welcomed to the first
meeting each month at the Pride Center. For more info
contact us at [email protected]
–8–
LGBT Activist Forum: The purpose of this forum will be to
discuss, educate and inform ourselves respecting issues that
affect the happiness, safety and civil rights of LGBT people
in our immediate world and the world at large. The group will
set its own agenda for topics to be discussed and will plan
occasional related educational events for the Center community through guest speakers, panel presentations and films.
8:00-9:30 PM, monthly, 3rd Monday. Contact
[email protected] for information.
Living Soulfully is a community of men who love men to
nurture individual and collective conscious spiritual growth.
You are invited to share an evening of connection! We nourish the mind, body and heart with opportunities to meet people, heart-felt sharing and fun in a safe, supportive environment. For info, contact: Elias Scultori, ACC, MSM
[email protected] 732.419.2566
GROUP MEETINGS & SOCIAL EVENTS
Check the calendar page at PrideCenter.org for up-to-date schedules of all meetings or call 732-846-2232
Straight Spouse Support Group E-Mail straight-
Living Out Women
A social group that offers women 21+ the opportunity to be
a part of discussions, meet-ups, trips, and lend each other
help, support, and guidance. The idea is to create a place
where we can meet new friends in a relaxed environment. A
portion of the first few meetings will be devoted to identifying discussion topics and/or beginning to make plans for
events. Meets 1st & 3rd Mondays of Every Month Time
8:00 – 9:30 PM Location Room 3, Contact [email protected] to learn more.
[email protected] for more information and visit the web
site at www.pridecenter.org and E-News for further details
as they emerge. This group will provide discussion and
support to straight spouses who's partners have come out,
their children, gay spouses and people uncertain of their
orientation before marriage.
Support Group for Parents of GLBTIQ Youth/Young
Adults
Join together the 3rd Friday of the month at 7:30 PM for a
time to get together and lend support, share triumphs, stories
and laughs about your GLBTIQ children. Help support each
other in knowing that you all share a commonality, and that
each of your children are different, unique and most importantly, a part of you! [email protected]
Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator (MCC CTL): Metropolitan Community Church of
Christ the Liberator (MCC CTL) worships every Sunday at
10:45 AM; there is a fellowship meal after service on the
second Sunday of the month, as well as other periodic social
and educational events. Come and learn and grow! For further information, please call 732.823.2193 or consult the
website at www.mccctl.com.
Torah Queeries
Torah study through a queer lens, using as a jumping point
for discussion, the book: Torah Queeries, Weekly Commentaries on the Hebrew Bible (available through Amazon.com). Its chapters contain liberating and healing messages, inspired by and drawn from Biblical texts, on the
interface of our Jewish and LGBT identities. For inquiries
or to register, contact David Rogoff at [email protected].
will be meeting on the third Sunday of each month at the
Pride Center, from 4:30-6 PM
New Jersey Stonewall Democrats. They support Pro
Equality Democrats and Holding Democrats Accountable. This group is open to all interested adults. E Mail
[email protected] and [email protected] for more details
and meeting times.
Overeaters’ Anonymous
TrueSelves
A program of recovery for compulsive overeaters using the
12 Steps and 12 Traditions. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively. There will
be a GLBT special focus. Monday 7:30 p.m.
A Transgender Support group focusing on issues and understanding yourself and your community. All Transgender
queer spectrum related sexualities are welcome. Third Sunday of every month, 4:00-6:00 p.m., contact
[email protected] for info.
The After School HangOUT: Support and Social Group
for LGBTIQ youth 17 and younger and their straight allies!
Come hang out with us at a save place to talk, meet new
people, and have fun! It's an extension of our current Youth
Drop-In that happens the Second and Forth Saturdays of the
month! When: Meeting every Friday afternoon at 3:306:30pm
Tuesday Night Men’s Social: Social, educational, rap,
potlucks, for everyone. Meets second & fourth Tuesdays @
8:00 p.m. Email [email protected] for info.
Under the Rainbow
Both a discussion group and a social group for young GLBT
people ages 18-23. The group meets the fourth Saturday of
each month 4:30 to 7:30. There are discussions about anything from coming out to relationships. It's a safe place to
make new friends. Please contact for more details. [email protected]
The Pride Center Players
Third Tuesday Each Month. 7-10pm The Pride Center Players is a new community theater production company being
formed by Darren Nye, which will focus on LGBTIQ topics. Darren is looking for other leaders to join the Board of
Trustees, as well as actors and a production crew. actors
interested in auditioning, should visit
www.thepridecenterplayers.org for more information or
write to [email protected].
GROUP MEETINGS CONTINUED ON PAGE 11
–9–
– 10 –
SOCIAL EVENTS
GROUP MEETINGS CONT. FROM PAGE 9
LGBT Games Night
United People Poz (U.P.P)
LGBT Karaoke
All are welcome to come and sing your favorite songs on our new karaoke machine donated by the Men’s Guild. We have a good
collections of tunes and you can bring and
sing your own. First Friday of every month
from 7:30 to 10:00 PM
Women’s Coming Out Support Group
Monthly games night on the 3rd Saturday of every
month at 7:00 p.m. Opportunity for people to
meet, play board games and socialize. Potluck
desserts and snacks are welcome.
LGBT Movie Social
2nd Saturday of every month at 7:00 p.m. Gay
feature shown on state of the art DVD projector.
Popcorn, drinks, refreshments included.
Out of the Box!
Share your original music, poetry, or stories with a
warm, friendly, and very diverse audience. Everyone is welcome — listeners and sharers alike.
Third Friday of every month, 8:00 p.m. at THE
CAVE—19-21 South 2nd Avenue, Highland Park,
NJ.
For information: [email protected] | pandorascooter.com/
news.html
Women’s Social Night The first Saturday of
every month 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Come
join us for social events, games, discussions,
and fun.
A forum for HIV+ gay men and their supporters. We offer a safe
space to meet, find support, make friends and develop a camaraderie. Unity, solidarity and Community are the main focus, as we
grow together and foster relationship within the HIV/AIDS population and beyond. U.P.P. will be holding different social events
and advocacy events in and around the area. We meet at the Pride
Center of New Jersey every 2nd Friday of the month at 7:30 PM
Contact: [email protected]
This group provides a supportive environment for women who are
at any stage of the coming out process. Women of all ages who
consider themselves gay, lesbian, bisexual, or questioning are welcome. Ages 18 and over. Call PCNJ for more info
Writers’ Group
Writers and would-be-writers meet to read and discuss works in
progress in a supportive atmosphere, and more! Any genre is welcome. Every Thursday at 7:30 p.m. For more info,
[email protected]
Yoga for Men: No yoga experience or level of flexibility required.
All levels welcome. Bring a yoga mat and a hand towel. Led by
Steven A. Russell (DYRT), he seeks to enable others to find a
body of vibrant health, a mind free from restlessness, and a soul
that radiantly sings from the core of existence. He combines his
experience as a yogi and a musician, working with breath, vibration, concentration, and movement, to present uplifting and relaxing yoga classes. Steven has been practicing yoga for over ten
years. He is a certified teacher of Dharma Yoga, having studied
with Sri Dharma Mittra in NYC. All are welcome to attend his
classes, from the beginner to the experienced. Meets 2nd and 4th
Tuesdays, 7:30PM-9:00PM. Email [email protected] for
more information.
Young Men's Social Network
1st and 3rd Monday Each Month at 8:00-9:30pm A Social/ support group for men 18-40. Meets every 1st and 3rd Monday at
8:00 pm. We talk about sex, love, sexuality, family life, pop culture, relationships and other related topics. Afterwards we socialize at a restaurant/diner in the area. For more information
e-mail [email protected]
Youth Drop-In
Drop-in day for LGBTIQQ youth and their allies for youth 17 and
under. Second, & Fourth Saturday, 1:00 -4:00 p.m..
– 11 –
Whitney Houston dead at 47
Actress, singer, entertainer Whitney Houston died on February 11th.
Houston held a Guinness Book of Records title for the most
awarded female act of all time, in 2009.Her career spanned
three decades and is perhaps best known for her hit rendition
of the Dolly Parton song, I Will Always Love You from the
film The Bodyguard, in which she made her acting debut.
She also received acclaim for her rendition of the Star
Spangled Banner.
Houston had a turbulent marriage to singer Bobby Brown
which ended in divorce in 2006, and a history with alcohol
and drug abuse. She is survived by her daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown.
– 12 –
PCNJ To Host Male Erotic Art Exhibit
Male Erotic Art Exhibit/Sale (This Exhibit is rated NC-17) “Why should I be ashamed to draw what
nature was not ashamed to create?” (Anonymous)
With this quote in mind, the Men’s Guild supported by PCNJ is sponsoring its first Male Erotic Art
Exhibit/Sale and all are welcome at PCNJ.
With the help of the Leslie/Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art (http://www.leslielohman.org/)
and local artists we were able to choose from seventeen male erotic artists. Due to limited space,
the selection committee had a difficult time making
the final cut but was able to do so selecting ten artists to exhibit. We are confident that you won’t be
disappointed. They are from New York and New
Jersey and they can’t wait to “show you their
stuff”. So come and meet the artists; maybe you
will fall in love with one of their creations and take
him home with you. There will be a range of prices
so bring cash, checkbook and credit card. Place
April 21, 2012 from 1:00PM to 5:00PM on your calendar and if you go to www.pridecenter.org you
will see that we have it on ours. It’s only a $5 donation at the door and if you wish to draw from a live
model, you can try your hand at it from 3:00PM to
4:00PM. In addition to all that, we will provide light
refreshments and live jazz for your enjoyment.
By Tai Lin
NJ Lic. No. PC01910 732-545-2844
David Rogoff MS,LPC
Psychotherapy
Anxiety — Grief & Loss — Depression
Trauma Recovery — Health Crisis
24 North Third Avenue, Suite 202
Highland Park, NJ 08904
– 13 –
Online Social Networking, with The Pride Center of NJ
http://twitter.com/pridecenternj
Get Status updates from the center
directly to your phone!
Watch Videos of past events from
the Pride Center, or submit one of
your own for approval at [email protected]
http://www.youtube.com/user/
thepridecenterofnj
Join the Social Network with options and create your own profile!
http://pridecenter.ning.com
Become a fan and a member on our
group page!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?
gid=45759208919
http://www.myspace.com/njpridecenter
Friend up with us and leave a comment!
www.pridecenter.org
Join our networks and connect with other members today!
[email protected]
Actor Comes Out
So here we stand
34 year old actor Matt
Bomer, star of the USA Network hit series White Collar
came out in February of this
year at the Steven Chase Humanitarian Awards, thanking
his partner Simon Hall and
their children .
Bomer previously refused to
talk about his sexuality telling reporters he was a “happy
and fulfilled person.”
– 14 –
Marriage in Riverdale
The Archie Comic
book featuring the
same-sex marriage of
character Kevin Keller
was released on March
2nd and sold out.
A big congratulations
to Archie Comics for
creating the character
and giving him the life
many of us are still denied. Hopefully life will
imitate art and we will all be able to enjoy the
freedoms the characters of Riverdale now enjoy.
Rutgers Hate Crime Trial: Ravi Guilty!
by R. A. Melos
The trial of Dharun Ravi, the man accused of webcamming
a sexual encounter between his roommate, Tyler Clementi,
and another man in his Rutgers dorm room resulting in the
suicide of Clementi began on February 23rd. Ravi faced
multiple counts of bias intimidation as a hate crime, invasion of privacy and hindering apprehension, and could get
as high as 10 years in prison, and face deportation. He was
not directly charged in the death of Clementi.
The events took place on September 19th 2010, when
Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers, invited an anonymous
man to the dorm room he was sharing with Ravi. Ravi allegedly had his computer web cam set up and running and
Dharun Ravi, file photo
broadcast a portion of the encounter between Clementi and
the other man. Allegedly Ravi twitter a plan to broadcast a
second planned encounter between Clementi and the anonymous man, but Clementi got word
of it and pulled the plug on Ravi’s computer.
At the opening of the trial Middlesex County First Assistant Prosecutor Julia McClure detailed
the order of events leading up to the 19 year-old Clementi taking his life by leaping from the
George Washington Bridge on September 22nd, 2010. According to McClure, Ravi set up the
web cam with the intent of invading the privacy of his roommate, allegedly as a practical joke,
and discovered what he already suspected, Clementi was a homosexual.
After the suicide, Ravi attempted to cover his involvement in the events by deleting Twitter
posts and then asking fellow student Molly Wei to give false information to police thus hampering the investigation. Wei was also charged in the case but took a plea deal which reduced
charges against her. She testified against Ravi during his trial.
Clementi’s anonymous lover, known in court records as “MB” also testified during the trial,
saying he and Clementi only met three times before Clementi took his life. He had no idea
Clementi was planning on suicide and was not aware of Clementi’s last name until the suicide
and subsequent police investigation made national news.
Ravi was found guilty on 15 counts including multiple counts of invasion of privacy. The trial
lasted 13 days with more than 30 witnesses and 100 pieces of evidence. This was the first trial
of its nature in the Garden State and the crime itself encouraged NJ legislators to pass a strong
anti-bullying and hate crime law in 2011. Ravi will be sentenced on May 21st of 2012.
– 15 –
ad
– 16 –
Why Me?
By
Christopher Fleming
I have spoken with many of my Pride Center family about why they chose not to march in the New Jersey
and New York pride parades 2011. I received many different responses. All of which made perfect sense.
Their response included: “I’ve been there, done that”, “I had my time at the parades long ago”; “I love to
watch the parade, and if I'm in it I cannot see it”, I can’t get there very easily”; “It's too long for me”, “It’s
too hot for me”, “I was busy that weekend”. These responses sounded perfectly reasonable to me.
The thing I noticed about all of the above responses were that they there were all spoken from the "I", from
the “me”. I submit that the representation of the Pride Center of New Jersey in both the New Jersey and
New York parades are not about the “I”, but rather about the “Us”, the Center. Volunteering to march, as a
representative of the Center, is a service, first and foremost. For me, it's a way I can give back to the Center
(us) which has given me so much.
I can sometimes forget that these parades represent the two most powerful opportunities available for public
exposure of The Pride Center and of gay people in general. In our current social climate "putting a face on
gay" is more important than ever. Thousands of people, gay and straight, line the parade route every year.
This is our opportunity to show the world who we are. To show that we are united, that we are proud and
that we are strong. Last Year I counted nine PCNJ members participating in the NJ Pride Parade in Asbury
Park. While my participation in the parade was one of the most transformational experiences of my life, I
can't help but wonder what impression was given of our organization. Are we really just a group of nine men
and women calling ourselves the Pride Center of New Jersey? Did we use that opportunity to show those
thousands of people who we really are, what we really do? Did the spectators get a sense of the tremendous
work our volunteers do all year long? Did they get a sense of what PCNJ means to us?
I admit that my participation in the parade last year (my first) was all about me! I was told what an amazing
personal experience it could be, and I wanted to experience that. And it was indeed amazing.
I was thinking in the “I”. I was not thinking about the crowd, about the parents of that gay kid, struggling
with their acceptance. About that gay teenager wondering where they fit in, if they fit in. Our visibility as
gay people is more critical now than ever. Children are killing themselves because they have nowhere to
turn. People are staying in the closet because they don't think there's a world where they'll be accepted. For
me that world of acceptance started at the Pride Center. I feel a burning desire to see the Center continued to
grow and thrive.
The Pride Center needs you. If you feel that the Pride Center has helped you, please consider giving back to
the Pride Center in a way that only you can. All the money in the world cannot buy for the Pride Center what
you can give it, its human face. Your Face.
Save the dates:
NEW JERSEY - SUNDAY, JUNE 3RD
NEW YORK CITY - SUNDAY, JUNE 24TH
– 17 –
Men's Potluck Dinner Hosts Needed
The Men's Guild at The Pride Center is in need of couples and pairs of
friends to hosts a Men's Potluck Dinner at The Pride Center in Highland
Park each month. Volunteers are greatly needed. Invite your friends
and don't have the mess at home. We back you up and help you. Hosts
set up, clean up (everyone helps), supply and are reimbursed for
beverages and 5 dollar store table cloths. You are free to have themes,
parties, videos etc. Please respond to me here. Thanks!
[email protected]
Nicole Hawkins
Financial Services Professional
Licensed Agent
Life Insurance, Mortgage Protection, Annuities, 529
Plans, Long Term Care Insurance, Mutual Funds and
Investments
New York Life Insurance Company
399 Thornall Street, 7th Floor
Edison, NJ 08837
Bus: 732-744-3917 Cell: 732-330-1298
[email protected]
– 18 –
2012
Valentine’s
Gala
– 19 –
– 20 –
Meet The Volunteers
In their own words….
Phone ringing.
Me: Hello.
Bob: Hey, what's up? It's Bob Millosh, how are you? I am calling to interview
you for the Center’s newsletter; do you have a few minutes to chat with me?
Me: Hi, What About Bob. I'm doing well thanks and yourself? Yeah I have some
time, shoot.
Bob: So, let's start with the basics. State your name and tell me a little about yourself.
Anastacia Beaverhousen
Me: My name is... wait is this a secure line? How do I know that it's really you
What About Bob? Has the eagle landed? Is the key in the cupcake?
Bob: Yes, it's really me. Who else would be calling and asking you about volunteering at The Pride Center? Seriously.
Me: You never know who wants to get a hold of all this information. Next thing you know you'll be asking me for my
birthdate, my mother’s maiden name, my social security number and the last time I had a bowel movement. And before you know it I'm drugged and kid napped and sold to an underground prostitution ring and then bought by to some
old sweaty foreigner. And then after dealing with him for several months, I'll have to fight for my life and freedom. I
will have been secretly training, with any free time away my master, to be an unstoppable ninja. But I will never be
able to live out in daylight again. I will have to stay hidden in secrecy for fear of being found out and exposed. So just
to play it safe, What About Bob, call me Anastacia Beaverhousen.
Bob: Ok, Ricardo whatever you say, I mean Anastacia Beaverhousen.
Me: Damn it What About Bob, you just blew my cover. Now what the hell is gonna happen. I'll have to try and sneak
my kids and myself over the border tonight in that old El Camino I keep in the garage for situations like this. Shit
What About Bob, we don't have much time, come on let's just get this over with so I can start my escape.
Bob: Ugh. Sorry. So, why did you want to volunteer? What do you like most about it, Anastacia Beaverhousen?
Me: I felt a calling to do better for mankind and... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously, that's the questions you're
gonna be asking me? C'mon you just put mine and my family's lives at risk for that? You can do better than that.
Bob: What would you like me to ask you then?
Me: I don't know. Something fun and interesting.
Bob: How about you just start rambling and I'll try to keep up with the typing. Does that sound good to you Anastacia
Beaverhousen? Is it a deal?
Me: Yeah, ok. It's a deal. I think I have a few minutes before the feds come busting down my door. Ok, so let's start
from the beginning. It was a cold and stormy night...
United Way
Does your workplace participate in a United Way campaign? You can donate a
portion of your paycheck to PCNJ through the United Way of the Tri-State Area!
On your United Way contribution enrollment form, simply indicate the PCNJ Tri
-State code #026485.
– 21 –
What Pride Means to Me
By Emily Harkins
As I write this, it is almost mid March. In April, the NOH8 Campaign returns to New
Jersey for two photoshoots, and then June is our LGBT Pride festival. I am really excited to be taking part in both, and even better, I am proud to also participate in the NY
Pride festival at the end of June. Although it's only March, I am already thinking...and
this is a good question for all of us to ask ourselves: What does pride mean to me?
I think one's sense of pride varies between the generations. You have the generation
that grew up fighting back with the Stonewall Riots, the generation that lived under the
fear, prejudice and anger of the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, and now there's the
younger generation that is living in an environment where being openly gay is seen as
more accepted, where it's getting more ok to live out loud.
For me, pride is a new sense of coming to terms with who I am, a young lesbian learning to stand on my two feet with my head held high. I have faced the painful hardships
of bullying because of who I am but somehow have managed to come through it all a
stronger person. I'm lucky to be surrounded by friends who are pretty much my second
family. I hope that all the young adults out there, who are uncomfortable in their own
skin, have someone there to help them.
If you look at the current political environment, showing our pride is more important
than ever. All the current presidential candidates are opposed to marriage equality.
Only 1 out of the 4 candidates is against reinstating DADT. All 4 candidates support
the Defense of Marriage Act, even though President Obama has ruled it as
"unconstitutional". As for us here in New Jersey, we have our fight for marriage equality. We recently came so close only to have our governor veto away our right to marry.
As hard as that was, it's gonna happen here.
Despite the ugly press reports from conservative candidates, and conservative groups
getting bored and protesting whatever they want, I think things are always changing
for the good. Some schools are allowing Gay.Straight.Alliances, there are more LGBT
characters on TV and in film, more LGBT celebrities are coming out and being honest
about who they are. There is also the hope campaign of the It Gets Better project and
the success of the NOH8 Campaign. Also the movement of marriage equality is slowly
growing from state to state.
To put things in perspective a bit, here in the US, we are lucky. In other countries,
the situations for LGBT citizens is more dire, risking death and arrests. It's sad to think
that even in 2012, being gay is frowned upon in some places.
June is LGBT Pride month, a full month where we can celebrate who we are. This is
where we can celebrate our history and inspire the generation coming of age. This is
when we can show that we are proud of who we are, that we can emerge from obstacles stronger as a community. So, for June, get out there, show your colors! Let's live
out loud and celebrate.
– 22 –
Phone Numbers
PRIDE CENTER of NJ................732-846-2232
Dignity/Metro ..............................973-509-0118
Dignity/New Brunswick .................732-968-9263
Gay Activists Alliance in Morris Co...973-285-1595
Garden State Equality …………….…….973-473-5428
Havurah......................................732-650-1010
Hyacinth AIDS Foundation.............800-433-0254
Jersey Pride, Inc ..........................732-21 GAYNJ
Lambda Families of NJ ..................973-763-8511
LEAGUE—AT&T……………………………….973-644-7904
Lesbian Domestic Abuse Helpline….800-224-0211
Lesbians & Gay Men of New
Brunswick…………..……………………………732-247-0515
Long Yang Club ...........................732-247-0515
Metropolitan Community
Church/CTL……………………………………..732-846-8227
NAMES Project–Central NJ.............732-249-3933
NAMES Project–Northern NJ...........201-265-0600
NJ Buddies ...............................201-489-2900
NJCRI...................................... 973-483-3444
NJEA Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual
Caucus……………………………………………609-448-5215
NJLGC /PLF................................732-828-6772
NJWAN......................................732-846-4462
Ocean Co. Senior Gay & Lesbian
Support Group………………………………800-621-0096
Outbike.................................... 973-748-9368
P-FLAG North Jersey...................973-267-8414
Princeton LGB Alliance ...............609-258-4522
Rutgers G/L/B Hotline.................908-932-7886
The OASIS................................973-430-9909
The Trevor Helpline …………………… 866-4U.TREVOR
Women Helping Women..............732-549-6000
– 23 –
Location: 85 Raritan Avenue, Suite 100, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2430
(732)846-2232 http://www.pridecenter.org
The Pride Center of New Jersey is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization, which means that your donations are tax
deductible. Whatever you can afford to donate, your support and generosity are greatly appreciated. Making
an annual contribution in one of the following levels will qualify you as a Member of the Pride Center of New
Jersey.
Use the form below or go to our site at www.pridecenter.org where you can join/donate via PayPal.
General Membership
$36.00
Student/Senior
$15.00
Family Membership
Silver Membership
Gold Membership
Platinum Membership
$60.00
$100.00
$250.00
$500.00
Benefactor
$1000.00
Leadership Circle
$2500.00
President’s Circle
$5000.00
All memberships are calendar year memberships.
Entitles members to discounts on major fundraising events.
General membership benefits reserved for students, senior citizens and those of
limited financial ability.
General membership benefits for one household.
General membership benefits and discounts at select special events.
General membership benefits and discounts at select special events.
General membership benefits, discounts at select special events, and name engraved on Platinum donor plaque.
General membership benefits, discounts at select special events, and name engraved on Benefactor donor plaque.
Free Admission to select special events, name engraved on Leadership Circle
Plaque, President’s Leadership Council.
Free Admission to select special events, name engraved on President’s Circle
Plaque, President’s Leadership Council, Assign donation to specific program.
All Members receive a PCNJ Membership Card and quarterly Pride Center News.
All Memberships are Single Memberships except the Family Membership.
Name:
City:
Phone:
Check
Credit Card: Visa
Signature:
Membership Levels:
Membership makes YOUR Pride Center possible. Be part of it!
Address:
State:
Zip:
E-mail:
Cash
Add to E-Newsletter Mail List
Mastercard
Amex
Credit Card Number:
Exp. Date:
$15 (Student/Senior)
$36(General)
$60(Family)
$100(Silver)
$250(Gold) $500(Platinum)
$1000(Benefactor)
$2500 (Leadership Circle)
$5000 (President’s Circle)
Donation to Building Fund
Other Donation
Please do not send membership acknowledgement or Newsletter.
Contact me to volunteer time or services!
Mail to Pride Center of New Jersey, Inc., 85 Raritan Avenue, Suite 100, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2430